The Basement Yard - #374 - I Am Pete Davidson's Next Girlfriend

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

Joe and Frank discuss the undesirability of manly men and why Pete is hot! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank! I am here. I am doing well. Why are you dressed like you're immediately going to throw out garbage in the back of a fucking department of sanitation truck? What do you mean? You look like a homeless fucking... Trash worker. You look like a homeless trash worker. Well, you could talk about my fucking facial hair.

You stupid bitch. I haven't even said anything! Yeah, I know. Geez, you're on edge. You're gonna talk about how my chin line completely disappears when I shave? You brought that up. Your jawline gone? You brought that up.

You're gonna talk about how I haven't gone to the gym and God knows how long, but still pay a membership? Do you? You're welcome, LA Fitness. You're keeping that place open. I single-handedly. You're gonna talk about how I bought gym equipment in my basement and still don't use it? All these things you want to talk about? I feel like everyone who buys gym equipment for their home doesn't use it.

There's no way. It's so funny because I am the most motivated. Let me take my pen away. Don't need it for this episode. I am the most motivated to work out when I'm not working out. I don't give a fuck about working out and staying in fit when it's like time to put pen to paper. You know what I'm saying? Oh, so like as you're working out, you're like, I don't need to do this.

I don't need... I'm like, I did enough. But then when you... When I'm not, I'm like, I need to work out. I really, really need to. That's good. I bought gym equipment when I lived in Long Island City. I was like, oh, I'll just like... Bro, I even bought rubber squares to put on the ground.

Oh, like the puzzle piece ones? Yeah. Which is really cool to set that up. But the bench that I bought was one of the benches that turns into incline also and whatever. I was just gonna use dumbbells and whatever. Bought all the shit. I burned more calories putting that bench together than I ever did when I was using it. Because I use it maybe once.

Oh, yeah. I thought to myself, I was like... And again, granted, cut me some fucking slack here. Young kids. I ain't gotta be working out young kids. Well, what was that? That's why. What's that?

That's why. What was that? That's why you don't work out. That's not what you're saying, bitch. What am I saying? Something else. That's... No, that's what I was saying. I bought a mat for the floor like you.

Yeah. But my mind is worse. I bought fucking battle ropes and screwed them into my wall. Did you really? Yeah. It's actually, I have used them a fair amount, not nearly as much as I would like. Like eight times? Remain in shape.

No, no. Seven, seven, seven. No. No, but like I like went out of my way to like drill into the fucking stud and like figure out how to properly install these things to have them collect us. I can't believe you actually did that because I'd be worried about like pulling it out of the wall. Those things are in there tight boy.

Tight boy. Those things are in there tight boy. Yeah. They're, they're in there pretty fucking tight. They ain't going nowhere. That should be your, if you're a rapper, tight boy. I am tight boy. Yeah.

You are pretty tight boy. Um, anyway, I wanted to talk about the other day I got severely disrespected at the bagel shop. Did you get catacled? Not disrespected. I was almost killed. Oh. Apparently.

In a bagel shop? Yeah. A bagel shop guy that always tries to fuck us. You know who I'm talking about? No, I don't. Yeah, you do. A bagel shop guy that tries to, oh, you're talking Brooklyn bagel. Brooklyn bagel.

Yeah. That guy wants our fucking cock, bro. Well, he wants the neighborhood's cock because he, apparently that's a thing. All of our friends. Yeah. Josh is going to edit this. This is what I know exactly. Exactly what he's talking about.

And none of our friends will watch it, but they'll hear about it. And they'll say, yeah. Josh will tell them. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. But, uh, yeah, no, that guy is, uh, you know, he's yearning for a squirmin. You know what I mean?

No. I don't know what that is. Well, you know, those are the words that rhyme. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. I remember I went in there after I had moved to Jersey and I went into Brooklyn bagel after like three years of not going, maybe even less, maybe like a year and a half.

Smelled that cock when you got off the exit. As soon as I got in there, he was like, oh, what's a babe? Where have you been? Do you want to do a scallion? Yeah. Yeah. Where are you? You know what I mean?

Like he knew your order. He knew exactly what I wanted. And you get scallion cream cheese? Sometimes. Sometimes I get bacon again. And, but he was like, where are you? And I was like, oh, I, I didn't know he was so invested in my life. Yeah.

Dude, he remembers everything. It felt kind of good. Yeah. To want to, to like want to be like manhandled by this boy. Is he a tight boy? Um, I don't know. He's a tight boy. Who do you think would be atop?

You or him? Come on. Him? What? I don't know. I'm asking. You think I'm conceding to being a bottom? Uh-oh.

What are you insinuating about me this episode? I don't know. No, you're so fucking on edge in your room. I am. You better chill out. I am a little on edge. I am slightly bit on edge. Anyway, I was not, I fucked by a gay man on, on this trip to the bagel shop.

Different bagel shop. Couldn't all be so lucky. Yeah, no. Was it the bagel shop that the guy knew your dad? So he would like fucking like, he'd give me like a deal every time I went in. He would. Yes. No, that place is closed down now.

Oh, what? Yeah, I think so. No. Yeah, yeah. I one time went in there with my brothers and I had a five and I got three bagels and like, that would have, at the time, would have been enough for the three bagels. But I guess I handed him a one and he looked at it and he goes, ah, don't worry about it, kid. Damn, he thought you guys were like a lie.

He thought I was, he thought we were some fucking peasants. Yeah. They just scraped together a dollar for three bagels. Damn. No, but anyway, so I went to a different bagel shop. Do you want to take a guess again about another fucking bagel shop? Apparently you're just getting up stories wrong. Was it in a story next to the Bonnie?

Yeah. Got it. So I went there. Third time's a charm. There's a woman behind the counter, right? And I walk over and I just say, let me just get a bacon, egg, and cheese. First, I order a coffee, right? I go, because I'm with a med and I go,

Friend of the show, Schmini rubs. Schmini rubs. Yeah. And I go, can I get two medium black coffees? And then she goes black. And I go, yeah. She goes no cream. And I go, no.

That's what black means. Yeah. And I just kept going, no. She asked me like four different times like things. And I was just like, no. I was like, just black, just black, just black. And she's like, okay, okay. And then she seemed like kind of like pissed off that I was like, I don't want anything in

the fucking coffee. I just wanted black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I order a bacon, egg, and cheese. And I'm like ordering it. And she's like, what kind of bagel? I'm like, just a plain bagel. I'm like, you know, two eggs, salt, pepper.

And then she's like plugging shit in. And I was like, can I put ketchup? And then I said, can I put ketchup on that? You would have thought you were asking to move fucking hell in high water. Oh, you would have thought I was asking to like fuck her daughter. Like it was like insane. She's just like, and a man was like, what the fuck? Cause she just looked up from the computer, like.

Damn, she was pissier getting that ketchup. And she was also very like, her voice sounded like her name was Natasha. You know what I'm saying? Did she have like, was she rushed? Sort of. Kind of like, oh, hello, what do you want for breakfast? She sounded like she could fight. Damn.

And drink a lot. Okay, that's. Of clear liquor. Russian. You could say it. It's okay. We're not at war with them yet. I don't know.

Yeah. No. Any day now. Jokes on you, you're going to find out she's some like KGB in cell who like lives in our country and has been like slowly killing us through the bagels. I know I would be dead by now because that would have killed me that day. But I was just like, what the fuck? Like sometimes I have these run-ins with people from like restaurants or whatever.

And I'm trying to be nice, but I feel like I'm like ruining their day. One, it's so tough. You know, everyone talks about New York being known for, you know, pizza and bagels. But people in New York take those things very, very serious. And it's like, it's almost like a absolute, you know, blasphemy if you get things a certain way. Like I remember once I went into, this is really cool. I don't know why I'm saying cool.

Like it's a fucking, you know, like it has a play place or something. There's slides. Yeah. I went to a pizza place once in Huntington. I think it was called Little Vincent's and they're known for like stayed up until like 4am. People go out fucking get loaded and then you ask for a cold slice and they give you a regular slice of pizza hot with cold cheese on it.

And it was bro. It's fucking delicious. It's unbelievable. I went to Portobello once and I asked for that and you would have thought that I put a gun on the counter and said empty the fucking cash register. They were like, what? And I was like, just after you do it, just sprinkle a little cold cheese and they're like, so you want more?

And I'm like, yeah, I want more. And they were like, you know, they took it so fucking serious. People are like that with bagels too. What is your bagel order? It's fairly consistent. If it's, if I'm getting a breakfast sandwich, it's bacon, I get cheese. So I'm a big ketchup. But the eggs, I like cooked over easy because then it's like a sauce in there.

Okay. But like on what bagel? Toasted everything bagel. Okay. And then if I'm getting like just like a with cream cheese, I'm getting a toasted everything bagel again. Nice. Either vegetable cream cheese or scallion cream cheese.

Okay. I like those. All right. And then if I have like a secondary order, it's untoasted sesame bagel with just butter. All right. I'll just do plain bagel with butter. If I'm doing butter. Why do you, why do you do plain?

There's no, there's no taste to that. Well, I don't like poppy. Did you say poppy? Or am I bugging out? I literally didn't say poppy. Sesame you said? I said sesame. Yeah.

So like poppy, but like poppy, right? Yeah. Okay. Poppy. No. But like poppy seed bagels. I don't like that shit because it gets in my teeth and then I chew and it's like, ow. Also, I look at poppy seed bagels and it reminds me of like an angry dad with five o'clock

shadow. You know what I'm saying? No, Frankie. I don't. Yeah. It's just you. I look at it and I'm just like, first of all, poppy seeds. Wait, you look at a bagel and you go, this reminds me of my angry father.

I didn't say my angry dad. Everything else reminds me of my angry dad. Got it. Poppy seed bagel. You look at that and you tell me that doesn't look like just like a fucking angry dad in the morning with his robe on and five o'clock shadow. I don't know, man. Yeah.

That's what it reminds me of. My dad used to wake me up to like throw up. So wait, wake you up to be like, not wake me up. I mean, like I'd be in the bathroom and then he would knock on the door and I'd open the door and then he just threw up. One time he opened. Did I tell you the story? I'm very confused.

Your dad would just for no reason throw up in the middle of the night. My dad would throw up all the time. Why? Because he's the weakest stomach in the world. He was a fireman. I would assume he has a pretty good stomach. Why does that matter? What does fire have to do with stomach?

You think firemen only deal with fires? They deal with like fucking like jumpers. Yeah, I know. They see dead bodies and shit like that. My dad one time said that there was a car accident, like a block down from our house and there was an old woman who got out of there. Bro, he goes, I walk over to this woman and she's like, am I okay? And he goes, you're gonna be fine.

He's like, I turned around and walked right back to the house. He goes, Joey, her whole leg was twisted around. Like one of her whole legs was just twisted. She might not have been okay. No, but my dad used to like sweep and throw up. Like he was just like, he's crazy. If he gets like dust in his mouth, he starts vomiting. Like, it's crazy.

I don't think my dad is as far as I can recall ever thrown up, at least as far as I know. Honestly, this may be wrong, but I'm like 67% sure that he hasn't gone five days without throwing up. In the span of when I was like eight to 13. Yeah, a lot of time to throw up. A lot of puke, yeah. Yeah, a lot of puke. But one time I was in the bathroom. One time I was in the bathroom in the morning and there's a knock at the door

and then I open it and my dad's staying there like this. He threw up in his mouth. And I go, you throw up in there? And he goes, no, no. And I was like, okay. I don't know if I saw my dad throw up. I don't throw up. I don't know if I would tell people.

I feel like that's kind of embarrassing. Like I don't want people to think my dad is just some fucking loser that throws up all the time. That's what your dad is. That's what your dad is. My dad used to get so fucking pissed off too because he would throw up. And then it was the funniest thing in the world to us. Yeah, so you laugh. So I would be laughing like, no, no, you guys are just throwing up and yelling at me.

Was your dad able to take a joke? Like if he was the butt of the joke? Because I'll tell you who wasn't. My dad. No, yeah, my dad isn't. I mean, fine with that. Yeah, like last summer. I think I might have told a story, but there's this ongoing joke with a...

You already told this very long story about fucking what's his name? The mechanic. Yeah, yeah, you did. Okay. All right. I did. The long story short is my dad, I like said the joke again like last summer and he in the middle of dinner with like all of my family there was like, Frank, stop that fucking

joke. I don't like it. And I'm like, okay, makes it feel real when you get that mad dad. Honestly. Yeah, you can't listen for people out there. Everyone likes to cut each other's ass a little bit. You know, everyone likes to, you know, play with each other a little bit. But if your response is to get defensive, you're making it a thousand times worse for

you because when my dad asked me to not make that joke anymore, guess what I did not do. Yeah. And then guess what I did. Right. So just a little, you know, unless it's like really like you need to talk offline or someone's like, listen, that upsets me, you're bullying me. They'll laugh about it in private, but in the moment they'll be like, all right, I'll stop.

Right. Yes, exactly. Well, the bagel shop alive. Oh, yeah. The bagel shop. Yeah, that was kind of scary. I'm not going to lie. What's your big?

Oh, you kind of mentioned your bagel order. Well, the reason why I asked is I didn't know if you were going to say something crazy, like getting a scooped bagel like the fuck, shut the fuck up. No, no, no, no. And I went scooped bagels. I'm like, just commit to something in your life. Listen, I understand a bagel is like three loaves of bread in one. I get it.

I think so. You should know that going into it. You don't go to Disney World, not expecting to spend money. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like you need to be inherently understanding that you are eating a full week's worth of carbs. Yeah, you're eating a whole loaf of bread.

Yeah. And it's OK. And it is OK. Also, flat bagels. Why? Just eat a fucking bagel, you bitch. Just a bagel. The scooped or the fucking flats.

They have many ones. And I'm like, who eats many bagels except for many people. I mean like children. I didn't mean. Expand on that. What do you mean by that? Because that's not the right term, many people. It's little people.

That's somehow better. And they have normal stomachs. And that I'm actually not sure of. I actually don't know if that's true or not. But you started this. And now I'm in it with you. Great. Dug myself a hole.

I don't. I don't have any comment, Joey. So I'm going to allow you to. Do you think they got bigger stomachs than us? I don't know about. I don't know about bigger. I did hear that like. Oh my God.

Go ahead. I did. I did hear that it's like the same muscle mass but in a smaller frame. So they're really strong. Okay. Is that true? I said I heard it. Who did you hear it from though?

I follow. A homeless guy? No. I follow. I don't really follow them but they're always on my for you page on tiktok. A really strong little person? No. It's the micro wrestling federation.

What's that? You follow the micro wrestling federation? They always do micro wrestling roll calls. And I can't help but watch because they have such icons of the game like Ivar the micro. You know, the king of entertainment, micro Jackson. That's not real. There's a wrestler called micro Jackson. Yeah.

And he's a little person. Jay Mazing, hot rod, RIP, little Hank Dalton. Frankie, you know a lot about the micro wrestling federation. I became invested. I found out like two weeks ago one of them passed away and I opened up my morning seeing that and I told Becca about it. I started my day with him like, I'm really emotional right now. She's like, why?

And I was like, I had to go through the whole explanation that I just gave you. She's like, you didn't cry at our wedding. And I didn't cry over, you know, micro cowboy Hank Dalton baby. But I was upset. Micro cowboy? You've never seen them? No. There is like a 1% of our audience that is going to know exactly what I'm talking about

and they're going to be like, yeah, me too, man. You keep saying that and I don't know that it's ever going to happen. I mean, I think that, I mean, if you're stumbling upon micro wrestling federation that other people have stumbled upon it as well, is there a big following for that? Yeah, they have a pretty big following. I'll show you after this. Is there like top rope type of shit? Yeah, it's a smaller ring.

But they're doing the whole thing. They're wrestlers. It's more micro. That's what they call it. I know. They're calling it that. Well, you did. You said something though.

What did I say? You said many. I said, but when I said the mini bagels are for many people, I meant like children. You said children. I know I could have, but I didn't. I know. And I regret it. I know.

Just like, I'm just getting it out there that you said that. Here's where the episode where we thought it was going to be. Right now. This is the rails. I'm trying to think of something we spoke about before and I just nothing. All I can think about is this. No, well, I can fucking bagel lady. I can move you elsewhere.

You want, you want to move me? I can move you elsewhere. I can put you on the right track if you want. We'll go back to the basement here, friends. Speaking, speaking of the micro wrestling Federation, you know who's apparently not micro and that's Pete Davidson. He's macro. He's, he's the macro.

I don't know if that's the opposite. What is, I think micro is like, you know, tiny little, little ping pong and then macros like, yeah, it's like bigger scale. Like a Mac daddy. Is that where that comes from? No. I know like macro nutrients, but I don't know what that is. Like, I've just heard like, I know my micro macros and I'm like, I'm just going to eat

that. I ignore it because when it comes to eating, I just do what I'm going to do. Yeah. But I know like micro and macro economics. Is macro economics bigger? Economics? I think it's like on a more of a larger scale. A grand scale.

Yeah. Where macro is like specifically for like different. Got it. Got it. More niche. Neesh. Neesh. But niche.

Neesh. Neesh. But Pete Davidson, apparently. Big fat cock. Well, okay. You went right there. That's what we're saying. I was, I was going to insinuate it.

Oh, no, I think that it's well documented now. Is it? Big fat cock. No, I mean, no, it's not like, you know, it's kind of like Bigfoot, like people have said they've seen it, but we don't really know. It's so funny because I don't think of him as like this like super big celebrity. Like, I feel like I could like walk into him and it'd be like, I'd be walking into a regular person.

Well, I think that's part of his charm is that he's just a regular dude. Rebecca watches the Kardashians and she said on the show, they openly talk about, I think Kim said that she sought Pete for his big fat cock. Well, because she hears, heard that he was a good lover and apparently that was a thing. A good loving. Well, people need a good dicking every now and then. I assume that they do. How long do you think you can go without a good dicking?

I'm not going to be receiving a dicking. I know, but like I've gotten 30 years without it. I plan on going at least another 50. 81 though. 81 is going to be the gayest year of my life. Oh, yeah. But no, how long? I don't know.

What kind of question is that? Yeah, so anyway, she heard she was gay. What the fuck is going on today? Kim Kardashian heard that Pete Davidson is giving a good dicking. So she was like, I need one of those. Yeah. Because I'm dealing with a lot of stuff with, with yay. You know, I, I don't, I don't know.

I don't watch the show. They were going through, you know, pretty nasty divorce. It was nasty. So she just needed some dicking. And she got Pete Davidson. And now he's apparently dating. What's her name? Emily Rodigiegonsky.

I gotta admit. I gotta admit. I don't know how to say it. Romanowski. Rodigiegowsky. Why don't, why don't you count? Roger Kouski. … Roger went Kouski.

Yeah, cow-boy skiing. Roger went Kouski. Right. Vade, vada, Vrada Kouski? Rada Kous, right A, righta K use? Righta house? Righta coach. Right, ride of cát... skis.

Right of Kouski's. Right. You know the right. The right of passage. Yeah. Right of Kouski's. The right to bear arms. Right to Kowskies, right to Bear Arms.

This kid, I mean, good for him. He's really putting together a portfolio up there with Derek Jeter. You know, people always talk about that. Derek Jeter is up there. A-Rod's up there, I think. I mean, A-Rod was with J-Lo, J-Lo. Yeah, I can't keep track of these people.

I don't know. I mean, Jeter is the one that, I remember ESPN put up a graphic. Yeah, he had a whole fucking team and they were all a little insensitive now that we think about it. Oh, big insensitive. Yeah, I just wanna make sure we're on the same page.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now Pete Davidson is like Emily Wright to Kowskies. Right, Kim Kardashian, fucking... Ariana Grande. Ariana Grande. Rebecca called Ariana Grande and I almost fucking killed myself. Yeah, this isn't a Starbucks.

Who else was on that? Larry David's daughter. Is she famous? She's his daughter. Oh, okay. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know if she was like... Maybe she's an actress or something.

I don't know. Oh, Kate Beckinsale, wasn't he at a game with her or something like that? She's from Underworld, fighting war wolves. She's good looking. Yeah, she's very good looking. There's other people on that list but I can't think right now.

He is, I think we are seeing a resurgence of the manly men are leaving Hollywood. No one wants a Jason Momoa, Zac Efron, a me or something like that. They want like these like little... A me. Also, other people are saying no one wants a Jason Momoa. No, they want a Jason Momoa, dude.

He also just pulled his asshole out. I'm like, Ellen. I saw that, well, no, she's done. Oh yeah, not Ellen. Not Ellen. Yeah, no, she was like beating her producer up or something. Someone else's show.

People would come on her show and she'd be like, I'm Ellen. Say I'm Ellen. Say it. I'm gay, right? Who's gayer than me? You like my fucking suit jacket? Yeah, we're gonna dance

and I'm gonna scare prank you. Isn't it kind of crazy that in Hollywood, anyone who seems like really happy and whatever, like James Corden too is another one. It's like, I'm just a giggly and it's like... You guys are cons. I've always seen through James Corden. Really?

Always, always, always, always. I just, I can't, I see him and I see right through him. I don't know why, don't ask me why. But I can't... He's too giggly. He's a parent, yeah, he's too... A jiggly puff. He's too, he is like jiggly puff.

He's like a kaffare. Well, slow down. Jiggly puff, jiggly puff, okay. He is like jiggly puff because of the singing. Oh. Clefairy doesn't really sing. Sometimes, that's actually, I'm backing up a little bit. Clefairy does sing a little bit.

But he's white and he laughs a lot so he gets pink like a Clefairy. That's why I said that. They're both pink. Clefairy and jiggly puff. That's why I'm saying that. But I think like the jiggly puff thing is like, if you go back in the Pokemon lore,

when jiggly puff gets upset, she goes... Is there something that he does? Jiggly puff. But apparently James Corden, when he's like upset, he's like... Very upset. Yeah, he's... You know?

Yeah. Most people cons probably. But back to what I was saying. Yeah. I don't think people want like the Manly Man anymore. They want like the scrawny white, like loser dudes. So that's why like Travis Barker, Pete Davidson, they're like hunks now.

So I'm not like on board with this notion that like Pete Davidson's a disgusting man. I think, listen, if you want me to grade him, he's probably a, from what I hear, he's a really, really nice person. I think he's like a good looking dude. He's funny. I think that he was really bad looking at one point,

but not anymore, not for years. I don't, I feel like, I feel weird saying this because realistically who the fuck cares if I think Pete Davidson's good looking? But at the same time, he's like the type of guy, remember in high school, there was always one kid who just didn't give a fuck and everyone liked him for it?

I guess. That's kind of what Pete Davidson is. Like I think like he's just so like, just like whatever. That people are just like, that's fucking great. Yeah. I mean, I guess. Cause you have to assume that everyone in that whole industry is like talks the same and does the same things and wears the same clothes and like looks the same.

And also it's like- So anyone who disrupts that is like, Well, not even just that, but it's like people, it is like to the 12th degree, people are kind of molded a specific way in the entertainment industry when you're at that level. So when there's someone that comes along and it's just like, no one-

Fuck this. Yeah, fuck this. It's kind of like sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Good for him, man. Pete Davidson and a lot of guys are upset about it. They're like, how is this cutie so fucking like ugly

and whatever it's like, bro, that's what having a personality is. It's like you go to the gym and you work out for 10 hours a day. And you can't talk to women because you fucking are weird. I don't know. No one taught you how to do that, I guess.

This guy does romantic things and like makes women laugh. And then you're- And he's tall and he's got a fat cock. That's, those are double, those are good. Those things happen. They help them as well. No wonder why no one wants to talk to you fattiest as you're sitting there talking about creatine

and water jugs. No one cares. I know dude. Walking around with a gallon of water, take it easy, dude. You're just hiking trip. Yeah. You got a canteen on you.

Take it easy. Canteen. I know what it is. Yeah. I know what it is. It's not a very laborious thing for me to remember what a canteen is. I'm just, in a weird way,

I think men, when they say things like that, like how the fuck, like it doesn't make any big giginis. I think they are kind of envious of Pete Davidson because they see like, if he could do it, maybe I can. And it's like, you are miserable. I think they see it and they go, why, why can't I, I don't know.

I don't know, dude. Well, a lot of, I feel like those guys, I get upset about Pete Davidson, are like the same guys that are like, who expect like, I go to the gym, so that should equal pussy. Well, no, they're the guys that are like, oh, I was nice to you.

Why don't you wanna fuck me? Yeah, yeah. I took you out, bought you popcorn. I work out. You owe me that. I have a drop shipping site. Where's the pussy? What is that?

Drop shipping? It's what every single one of these like, internet rich gurus do. It's basically like that shirt. You buy it from me. I have a site where I completely brand it, whatever. And I take that thing, well, I don't buy it from you. I just list it on my site and people buy it,

you fulfill the order, so you get your money and I just sell it at a premium and I make the difference. So if you're better at marketing, if I'm better at marketing than your company, then I will be fine. You'll make probably more of a margin, but I'm just gonna sell more units. Let me be very clear about something.

And not only did I understand, the moment I asked and you started to explain, I stopped caring. So we both wasted our time there. What are you doing? And that's kinda my fault. It's okay. And I'm sorry about that.

You asked me, buddy. So who, where does, you know, of course, happy, healthy relationship for Emily and Pete Davidson. Roderick Gomsky. Who does he date next? What is his ceiling? I mean, people thought that-

When is he going to get an Emily tattoo? Is the real question. I mean, it's already happened, I would assume. Yeah, he's just getting tattoos. He'd gotten a tattoo of Kim and her kids' names. Yeah, that's a... He wrote, my girl is a lawyer. Your girl, not a lawyer anymore.

And well, guess what? Also, not your girl anymore. That too. So people are gonna look at that and say, what's going on? If I had that tattoo, I would like, now have to just date lawyers. Because I'm like, I can. Oh yeah, I'm sure Pete Davidson's really gonna have to go

out of his way to find lawyers. I mean, the opportunities for him are endless. I mean, is J.Lo back on the mark? No, she's with Ben Affleck, that's right. You know, Jennifer Aniston. She wants to have a kid or something. Pete Davidson's young. His fish might swim.

I miss, yeah. We don't know. He's probably got big fat fish, too. Big fat, big fat sperms. You got him? You know what, I read an article the other day. Gua. What'd you just say?

Gua? I said, what? You said gua. Did you say gua? I said gua. Yeah, gua. Gua, what did you read? You didn't say that, though.

Yes, I did. Just admit that you misspoke. No, I didn't. You said gua. No, if I did, I didn't do it on purpose. You said, you know what I read, I said gua. You said gua. Did I?

Is there a G in there? Run the tape. We never run the tape back here. We don't have any tape. What did you read? Porn? No, I didn't read porn. Although women love to read porn.

Do you know that? Well, like the 50 Shades of Grey books, where it's just like, it's fucking nipple tassels. Pinched her nipples to shit. And she's like, whoa. Yo, it's crazy. I don't know why. Yo, it's so weird.

Oh, we should write an erotic novel. Oh my god. Yeah, it'd be so down. I think we could do an erotic novel that'd be really good. And just like, he spanked her like crap. Yeah, like, oh. Spanked the crap out of her. Twisted her nipples to shit.

And then he fucked her doggy. Oh my god. He stopped her. I thought that you were going to scare her dog. I was like from chill. Never mind, we're not writing the book anymore. No, but women love. Who just gave away chapter one?

What's up? Bro, wait. OK, you're welcome for free. Women, for some reason, love sex books and murder. Because women like to read and go, that's why. They like to. Could you get horny off of words? No shot.

Unless it was like a text message. Yeah, like a personal thing. But reading a story about two people like. Yeah, like, bro, like, nothing. Literally nothing, not a wiggle. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I'm not reading the right books. I don't think I've ever read a sex book.

Or even a sex scene. Have I read a sex book? I need to think of the 20 books I've read in my life. Yeah. I don't think there was. All the Dr. Seuss books, no. I don't think there was any sex in Harry Potter. No sex in Shel Silverstein poem books.

Or the series of unfortunate events. Yeah, the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe didn't have any sex in it either. Just a lot of Turkish delight. No, no sex for Count Olaf. Definitely not. What do you think they did in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?

No sex. No, no. They were related, so. Well, there was all the, Mr. Tumnus. He was a half, he was probably hung like a half horse. So is that like, do they have like, audio porn for people that are deaf? They do.

I mean, blind? What? Fuck, I'm not blind. I mean, blind. I messed up. What are you going to do? Do you know that there is audio porn, where it's like, nothing, whatever.

Like podcasts? I guess. But it's like, you just hear like, oh, yeah. And then they're like, oh, fuck. You're going to make me use 10% off of better help. Guys, let me tell you something. It's a porn podcast. Yeah, it's a porn podcast.

You're going to make me, you're going to make me, oh, 10% off when you use the cold squish. Oh my god, that's bad funny. You're going to make me get your save money at stamps.com. Oh, you know what gets me right there? True bill. Casper mattress. Yeah, it really gets me going.

Oh my god, I'm going to rail you on this Casper mattress that I got for 50%. Oh my god, all I had to do was go on and fucking type in. And what's that? Oh, free shipping. You can't now when you're drinking. Oh god. But yeah, no, they're not podcasts.

That would be just like audio porn. Like, I guess it's like. Let me ask you something. You're standing out of studios. We have an empire here. But like, you know how like. Should we just do, oh my god. Listen, just before you say it, I want to say it first.

So if you do it, I can get royalties. Good. Spotify, they like buy podcasts. A sex podcast network where it's like, you know, where it's just like under this umbrella, they're like R rated, mature podcasts. And like, they can all be sponsored by, you know. Like Adam and Eve.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that would be, that would be fine. What were you going to say? Please tell me the same thing I was going to say. No, I was just going to assume you meant like, makes a sex podcast where we go on and we just like make up a story. It's like, you know, and then.

We like act it out. Harry, what? No, we don't act. What are you talking about? We do not. Yeah, you want to fuck. We act it out. I don't mean us.

Yeah, you mean like we, we narrate it. Like, like, you know how they have like, Oh, you'll be the girl and I'll be like, Harry walks in. Yeah. And it's like, hi. What is up? It's like, only God, who's going to change my.

What the fuck are you saying? Change my diaper. Change my body. I was going to change my pipes. You're really bad at porn. Oh, I need a pipe change. I don't know. We'll fix your pipes.

Fix them. You know, you don't says change my pipes. We could do that. You know how they have like the scripted podcast series? Like they have like a Batman one. And it's just like, you know, the dark night walks into a room. His cow draped upon his head.

You know, shadows upon the darkness. And he's like, hello. You know, like we could do that. Yeah. And we could be like, I don't mean like, we'll fuck in real life. But like in the, like the, we can pretend, talk fuck. Got. We can audibly fuck each other.

You're talking about with our voices. Let our voices fuck. Let our, like if I talk to you. If our bodies are straight, our voices could be gay. But that's what I'm saying. If I talk to you. Yeah. Is that gay?

If we just talk a gay sex scene back and forth. Yeah. Just our voices are gay. Like I'm going to kiss your fucking neck. Yeah. Well, OK. I'm getting there. Oh, yeah.

I need to. You're foreplaying. Yeah. It's like, I'm going to, I'm going to kiss you so hard. Yeah. And then like, I'm going to travel downtown. I hope this is not how you speak to people. I'm going to get on the bus and head straight downtown.

But oh no, I don't have my fare. What do I get to do for it? Because I left my wallet at home. I got to turn around and go back. Yeah. We might have just hit a billion dollar idea here, Joey. That feels like a lot of money. OK.

A 20 million dollar idea. I'll take it. Yeah. Yeah, maybe we should do some sex podcasting. I think I'd be pretty sick. Yeah. I just need to do it under a pseudonym. I don't need my kids finding that one day.

Dad? This sounds just like. No, that's not me. That's Brick Rocksteady. Oh no, you fucking asshole. Nobody. I knew I was going to get him. Brick Rocksteady.

How did you come up with that name? You know, I can tell you how I came up with it. But you're not going to care. I'm not going to want to know. Yep. All right, well, anyway, let's get to the ads here. Guys, the first ad that we have today is Brick Rocksteady. I'm going to get him.

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So there you go. And guys, we need to give you the respect and pay you the respect you deserve. Because guess what? We've been telling you about Patreon and you did it. You got us over 12,000. We are at over 12,000 patrons. And you know what that means.

Joe and I are going to be doing a Patreon episode and documenting the process in drag, full drag. We've contacted. We've hit up a couple of people. We're waiting to hear back. But we're going to go hard for this. We're going to go hard. We're going to probably have big hair, big titties.

Maybe. Yeah, I hope we can get some titties. I hope we can get some titties. I don't know where to get any titties though. I'm sure you don't have to look that hard to get some titties. Amazon titties right now. I guarantee you could find them. And while Joe is doing that, we have almost nailed down

exactly what our goal is for 13. I will tell you, it is something that is going to be directed pretty closely at that guy over there. So we want to keep growing. We really appreciate the growth and support you guys have given us. What is Patreon for those of you guys that don't know? It's a subscription service where you can get titties,

can't you? Bro, I'm buying this. I'm buying both of them. We're both going to get titties. Are they like? They're not. They're expensive. How expensive?

Yes. 100. A little less. But 75 each? You can get an E cup, G cup, H cup. Bro, those are bangerangs. H cups are $150. That's too much for me.

That's too much to hit for me. Anything over D would have been too much for me. I'm good with a D. Yeah. I mean, I'll fuck with an E. Well, while Joey's doing that and fucking with these over there, I'm going to just keep telling you guys about Patreon. Thank you for the love and support.

Patreon is a subscription service that directly helps us continue to grow. And we give you guys some stuff for it. You sign up for that first tier. You get these weekly episodes a week in advance. As off the rails as this episode has been, you get to be a part of that conversation a week before everybody else.

And then that second tier, that's where you get those exclusive Patreon episodes. Anything from the past that you haven't been able to watch is up there. And anything that comes out on Friday morning, as you can watch as well. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard.

Our next goal is 13K. We get there. Joey might be a little bit upset about what we got cooking up for him. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Dude, I want to get these tits so bad. It's like the silicone ones, right, that like goes around

your neck and you put it under your shirt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it looks like wearing a shirt. It's like a bib. A bib of goop. This guy named Travis. He wrote a review and it said, go big. I got a G cup and they look tiny on my 45 inch chest.

Definitely wish I got a... The breasts aren't even. Fuck. Bro, 45 inches, that's pretty big, isn't it? Bro, that's like over two feet of chest. Like this? How big is this, Travis? I mean, he's a big fucking man.

What do you want me to say? Yes. Should we get G's then? Let me be very clear. I am okay not having to lug around G cups on my chest. Oh no, I need some fucking big fat tits. You need some knick-knack patty wax. They have nipples on them too.

Well, I would assume they're not tits if they don't have nipples. These are kind of cool, dude. These are big fat knocks. Whatever you feel is appropriate, wait until we hear back from the makeup artist. I wasn't even thinking about for that. I feel like you just have them.

Hold on one sec. Yeah. What do you just want? Big fat tits for, um, chilling. If you had boobs. Yeah. Would you play with them on like your car rides and stuff? You know how like you'll like fiddle with something

or like you're like, I like picking my fingers sometimes and bite my nails. When I'm driving? Would you like? Usually I just drive the car. You have one hand. Yeah. One hand on the steering wheel,

other hand on your own nipples. Uh, no, I probably wouldn't do that. Really? Have you ever jerked off in your car? No. Okay. Just getting that out of the way. No, I haven't.

Okay, I just. Someone, someone told me that they jerked off in a car once. I forgot who it was. I almost. Might have been Danny. I almost, what has he not done? There was, I almost did years and years and years ago,

but I didn't. You almost jerked off in your car? Almost. Did you like go to like a parking lot? No, I just went home. I just, I went to sleep. Wait, why, how did you almost start jerking off in a car?

Cause I had, I had gotten the infamous case of blue balls. Ah. You know, I've never gotten blue balls. Oh. I've never gotten blue balls. If what I experienced was blue balls and not a bigger issue that I'd never addressed, they suck. Did it, it hurt?

Yeah. I don't know that I've ever had blue. It felt like I was continuously getting kicked in the nuts to like where it like creeps into your stomach. God damn. I've also never gotten a hand job. Just like a full, like a full on hand job. You know, like start to finish hand job.

Never happened. Okay. Which is like, I feel like cool, but also like not cool. Like I haven't checked that off. You know what I'm saying? You need to get it done before. Yeah. Like I would like to just get a hand job.

At this point in your life, if you don't get one, it's because you're actively avoiding it. I think you're, you're probably, you could probably just ask for one and get one. Jesus Christ, Joey. Why the fuck are you trying to make this harder than it is? Uber Eats, you idiot. Yeah.

Is that that hard? No, but I feel like it's at this point, it's very hard to just like get a hand job and not just be like, oh, well we're here. We might as well just move forward with the activities. We're in, you know. We're here. We're in Rome.

Yeah, why not? You know, you're not going to Rome for the water. You're going for the sites. For the pasta. Yeah. I've never been to Rome. Never been outside the country. I'll do you one better.

Oh no. Yeah, but I haven't. I haven't as well. I mean. How many times you got blue balls? Oh, fair, fair amount. More than eight? Over my lifetime, I would say more than 10, yeah.

Whoa, dude. Yeah. Damn, people are teasing your balls. Well, it's not necessarily a teasing thing. It's just like. How bad does it hurt? Bad. And you have to get in the only way to relieve it is to.

No, you just go to, like, I'll just go to sleep. It hasn't happened in a very long time. Is it like a concussion? If you go to sleep, you probably won't wake up. Your dick won't wake up? Yeah. No, I would feel like a really bad stomach ache. And then I just go to sleep and then wake up and it was fine.

Damn, dude, that sucks. Yeah, it was not fun. You ever have a whiskey dick? Is that the one where your dick doesn't work? Because you drink too much whiskey? Yeah. I don't think so. Have me once.

Yeah? Yeah. Dude, I jerked off so many times a week to prove to myself that my penis still work. Where you do? It's like 20 years old. Were you like a typical, like, middle-aged man with ED jerking off? Like, come on. You can, come on.

Bro, I just remembered this. You did this, didn't you? No. The other day, I was in the bathroom here. Shit. Okay. Right? So I'm in the stall and I'm hidden, right?

And a guy comes in to take a piss, one. It sounded like his hole was this big, because the amount of piss. Shorge. It was like, it sounded like, I was like, yeah, you'd better flush that urinal before it starts spilling everywhere. But then, at the end of it, and I don't know if he saw me or not, because he was going, ah, ah, ah, ah. I was like, bro, you got a problem.

What's going on in there? That guy had a problem over there. It sounded like he was trying to pass a grenade through his urethra. Oh, it could be a kidney stone. Maybe. And it sounded like he was in fucking trouble. Like, knock on wood. I consider myself quite lucky.

I've never had a kidney stone. People that I know have had one, say, passing it through PP, very bad. I've never had one either. Yeah, I have no desire to have one. Speaking of. I don't think anyone has a desire. Speaking of PPs, there's actually a story that came in the news this week that I said I wanted to talk about.

Look at that. That's segue. Yeah. Way better than the Pete Davidson one. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. I'm surprised because he had shoved a seven and a half foot jump rope in his penis hole.

You OK? He got it so far up. It went into his bladder. How do you do that? I don't know. Frank, I get shoving the thing in. Initially, right? No.

No, just no. I don't get it. No. I'll stop there. That I don't get. No, this is not what I mean. Once you get the thing in there, right? Why are you, you're really jamming it in there, Joe?

You're putting a jump rope in your dick. Well, it's like the, like the speed ropes. Like they're kind of coated in like a plastic so they go in a little slippery ear. What does that mean? Who cares? They don't need a jam as much as he just needs to guide. OK. So, baby, jump rope.

You get the jump rope in there, right? Once it's this far in and you just have like rope out here, how do you get it in? How do you feed it in? Unless you're going in your ass and pulling from the ass, what do you think this guy is doing one of these? He's flossing with his dick on his ass. No, no, no. It's like, it's like, all right.

So like say, oh man, I wish I had something I could, like a jump rope or something. So like say this is the jump rope, right? Yes. You guys could see it. I would say like this is his pee hole. Yeah. Right? So he shoves it in.

Right. And then he just keeps, oh, then fingering and just fingers it in. Oh, OK. Or he could even do like a magician when he's like, yes, I'm going to rip it in his hand. He's like, I have nothing in my hand now. Yes, yes, yes. Or he could do the thing where it's like, it's like so tight that like he can shove one side in.

You know what I'm saying? So like it's kind of like growing more on one side. Dude, that's crazy. You fit a whole jump rope in your cock. Seven and a half feet. Nah, bro. Bro, seven and a half feet is for me to that wall. That's an insane amount of feet.

Yeah. How big is this cock? I mean, I don't think. It's got to be a thick hole. You have, it needs to be hard for that, right? Or is it like inchworm its way in? I don't know, man. Like you're like, you got a soft wee wee.

Do you think you shove it in and then like pull the penis out? Maybe if maybe if you just like leave it in there, do you know how like your body like you get a cut and then eventually like the skin just like closes around it. So if you put like a jump rope halfway in through your dick, does your dick just like slowly like eat it? Now listen, I pull it in. I know I've not been to medical school. When you compare your body healing a wound to your dick inhaling a cord, I think the

logic doesn't add up. I already got kicked out of fucking med school. Did you even, you didn't go to med school? I said I would have. Yeah. I'm just saying, I think our penis hole is more about exit Velo than it is about, you know, inhale intake. So he was fighting nature here.

Yeah. He was fighting all kinds of nature, mental, like physical. What if? Yeah. All right. Follow me here. I want to say this before you move forward. I think this man should be celebrated because no one's done that.

No one should make fun of him. No, no, no. No one should make fun of him. People should applaud him if anything. Is he going to live? I hope, I hope so. I almost said no. I hope this jump rope dick man died.

Yeah, but here's the thing that actually kind of pissed me off about the story is he went to the, the emergency room and he's like, I can't pee. And they were like, oh, he was like an elderly man apparently. And they were like, all right, that's kind of fairly common for an elderly man. Let's take a look. And they found fucking coiled nylon in his bladder. She's like, um, the jump rope might have fucking something to do with that. Well, that's the thing is like the audacity of someone to go into the hospital and be

like, I can't pee. I don't, I don't know what's going on. You forgot about the jump rope, Todd. The fuck. My, my question is, how does he get it in far enough to not be able to get it back out? Yeah, because once you get it, like all the way in, right, and then it's like at the tip, you have a decision to make. You either, you either go like, no, no, or you go, we've gone to, we've now it's time

to funnel it back out. Exactly. Which I'm assuming the sensation of it going in and out would be like the cool part. So I feel like it would make more sense for it to be pulled out, but when you just shove it in, you're like, oh, no, no, you're out of jump rope and jump ropes are probably like 15 bucks now. So you're out $15, especially those speed ropes, if they use a CrossFit and shit, they're in high demand.

God, God forbid you buy one of those like new millennial fucking Gen Z fucking ropes that are like Bluetooth or something. Yeah. The ones that are like, you know, they, they need a safe space. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, PC with the jump rope. Yeah.

Like we're not calling it jump rope anymore because people hang themselves with rope. Yeah. Yeah. I want to clear something up. Oh. Well, actually, let me, I want to make sure we're on the same page here. About the jump rope. You said about the sensation being cool.

Yeah. There is no part of me in the penile area, right? That thinks there would be any cool sensation with something getting jammed into it. I'm not saying I would enjoy anything being jammed into my keyhole. I'll go one step further. I don't think that area is wired that way. I don't either, but some people do enjoy like the pain of it. You know, that's why people get spanked, bro.

Look at this. No. Spank is different. What do you got? What are you pulling up? You know what I'm saying? Slap your little fucking ass. Can you see that?

Yeah. It's a sex little paddle. It's like a, there's a metal in here, bro. It won't hurt, but after a while, like you give it a lot of good snacks and get it nice and like raw, then it'll hurt. That hurts. There you go. Yeah.

You want to take that or? No. I got hands. Got it. I got big old catcher mitts. Got it. You got a little bitch hands. Well, you need this.

I feel like I, it's nice. I don't like like the frat boy ones. Like they're like wood and I'm like, I have a couple of wood paddles. I think I have a couple of my car actually. Cool. I've never, I've never used them to hit anybody. Yeah. You just decorate them and go, brothers.

Yeah. Pie alpha dig. We would make them. They actually oddly enough look exactly like this. Well, it's a paddle. You'd make them for your big brother and you'd be like, I just want to let you know you're a fucking great big brother and like you mean so much to me. Did.

And it's just like big. Life is strange. Big brother, Frank, little brother, Joe, and then like a fucking, like a beer. I got a butt plug down here too, which that remember we were just talking before this. It was a story of a girl with a butt plug. We were hitting our stories today. Honestly, I just looked down and I was like, you know what, I'm not going to show that because there's on the box.

There's literally a girl with wearing cat ears, so spread, spread, all butt plug in her ass. Yeah. But what was it? Her boyfriend bought her a butt plug. Then he did the dye. Then he did on dead. And then she cremated him and then took his ashes and put it inside this butt plug and

then just like wears him in her ass all the time. Yeah. The reason the story came up is because she was detained at an airport trying to travel abroad with it in her ass with a butt plug full of her boyfriend's ashes in her bag or in her purse, in her butt bag. That's what I mean. Yeah. In her butt bag, Jesus, of course you can't go through the airport with a fucking butt

plug in your ass. I mean, maybe you can, but they're going to ask you to remove it, just like make sure everything is cool, kosher, copicetic. No, dude, you can't. Bro, I can't even bring fucking contact solutions to the airport without them flagging me down. Really? This girl's going to bring up a fucking butt plug in her asshole. Well, I think I remember reading the article and she had said that the sentiment was because

she wanted to bring her boyfriend to places he had never seen. You could just literally get a necklace with his ashes in it. Yeah. You don't have to shove him in your ass. And apparently, also, she said that he bought her a butt plug as a joke, but also because he spent the most time in there. That's not in the article. Yes, I swear to God it is.

He spent the most time in there? That's what it says in the article. Oh, they're one of those anal couples. One of the couples that don't fuck regular, they're just like, yo, straight in my ass. I don't know any anal couples, but I feel like some people know. We knew someone. I knew an anal couple? Not a couple.

A woman who openly said she would not have sex until she was married vaginally, but that's the term vaginally vaginally. Oh, yeah. Speaking of what is going on up there, um, according to the New York post security officials pulled Sarah first, I don't care. And her friend aside, assuming the sex toy was some sort of a weapon, they were not amused by the joke. And Sarah ended up calling her dad to get assistance from the embassy in Australia.

Stop it. Sarah stated that her late boyfriend had given the plug to her as a gag gift at one point before he died. She's quoted as saying it was initially a joke because he'd spent so much time in there and it was his favorite place. Her asshole straight in her butt, dude. Damn. Good for them, man.

All the power to him. It's like hanging out in butts. There's something about like, like straight butt sex that's just wild. Yeah. As opposed to gay butt sex? Are you talking about that? Well, yeah. Because they're working with what they got.

Oh. Wait, did you mean that? Like an orientation straight? Or like straight up? Like straight up? No, I meant like heterosexual. Oh, yeah. There's something about that.

That's like what? It's like kind of crazier. Because like it's there. Two gay men having sex with butts. What else are they going to do? Exactly. But like, you know, a heterosexual couple. It's like we have a whole thing.

We have a separate, like we already have our bags packed. We have a VIP entrance. Why are you going through there? Bingo. Bingo. We already have, we have a reserve table. Right. They're drinks waiting for us.

The fucking red ropes are out for you. This is, yeah. This is when you go to a club. They give you free drink, you know, tickets and then you order shots on top of it. Right. Exactly. Like you already got it. Yeah, you're here.

Why do you need more? People like different, different things. I'm just saying words right now. I don't really. All right. Let me ask you a question right now. Oh boy. Off topic.

Random. Here we go. Okay. You walk into a club. Yeah. Give me your first two drink orders and then your, and they could be beers as well. As well. And then your first three shot orders.

Go. Where am I? Miami. Oh. That changes it. I know it does. Okay. What time is it though?

The drinks you start with first at 11 PM. The shots come post one. Um, 11 PM, walk into a club in Miami. What do I order? First two drinks. Um, okay. If it's 11 o'clock, it really depends on the kind of day I had the night before because sometimes I'm like, all right, let me just get this first night there.

You landed in the morning. Oh, okay. Then I'm definitely doing like a fucking, like a, like a tequila soda or something. Tequila soda. Yeah. Hate that drink. I think it's so overrated. I hate it too.

Um, but it's like an easy one. Like I also don't want to order a drink that like takes too long to make. It gets you. It's like the subway. You hate being on it, but it gets you there. It gets you there. Yeah. A to B, you know what I mean?

Uh, and then shots, just tequila and then I, I'm just like, whatever, I don't know. Do you have any part of your personality that has color? No. I'm going to show up with tequila soda and then a shot at tequila. It's like fucking way to go. Jesus Christ. Well, you drink, you take shots at like Jameson, which is like very difficult. Hold on.

No, I do not. No. No. Wait, so what are your, what's your drink order? See, there's other things that need to go into it. If it's an open bar, you know my rules with open bars. I've spoken about it openly on the podcast before rules with open bars. If it's top shelf liquor, you get one of every single spirit at least.

And I always start with an extra dirty martini. Oh, always start. I hate them. And then I can do gin tonics. I could do, you know, you know, a big fan of my old days used to be a Jack and Coke. I used to do that too, but now too much syrup, too much coal, a lot of, a lot of syrup. And then shots. I mean, I'll do, you know, I'll do a chilled, dark tequila.

I'm not doing like, yo, like let me get fucking rep us. Huh? I'll do it on a little extra. Yeah, you know, I would too. I don't like doing shots of definitely not whiskey anymore. I don't. My shots of Jameson days are long. People who order shots of vodka are like 13.

Well, those things can't be the truth. Shit. That was good. No, but people who I feel like, you know, it's like, oh, let's get shots of vodka. I'd be like, I'm okay. Well, no, see, that's actually a way I remember I've told the story before. Again, I told my stories pretty frequently. Yeah.

And I went through training for like how to be like a bartender in Connecticut. And one of the things they tell you is like abnormal drink orders are people that clearly are not of age and they shouldn't be there. Abnormal? Yeah. Like if someone walks up and they're like, let me get a shot of scotch. And it's like, bro, what are you doing? Shots of vodka are kind of in there as well.

No, I mean, you could take shots of vodka. No, but vodka is not a shot drink. It's so disgusting. It's really, I've never been a big vodka boy, although I like it when it's mixed into like a cocktail, but I don't like a shot of vodka. I will murder myself. Vodka is the one in my opinion. Also shots of gin.

That's kind of nuts to me too. Yeah. Shots of gin you don't do, but vodka is the one alcohol that is like the biggest difference in good quality and bad quality. Like you could put good quality tequila in front of me and bad quality tequila and I'd just be like, all right, it's kind of tequila. Yeah. But vodka, that is the only one I think like, yeah, I can, I can kind of taste the difference.

Just, just not Quervo because that shit is fucking ass. Oh yeah. Penis. That sucks. This shit is penis. Yeah. Fuck. But those are my rules.

And then Patron is not like great, but it's like better than like a shit vodka. You know what I mean? Like way better. In my opinion. Bro, a shit vodka is rubbing alcohol. Yeah. Like what was the one? George's.

Oh my God. George's vodka. It was like the New York version. I know like Connecticut. They had Dubra and other places. You know what I'm glad we're over? Everclear. You were on Everclear?

I've had it. I've had it. I'll tell you what? It was never a phase. I'd go to Dente. I'd go to Dente. Let me tell you something about that. What?

Oh baby. Sucks. Wait. Trash. Hate it. Disgusting. First of all, very racist of you. Because.

Because you're saying the Colombian suck. No I'm saying that drink sucks. No it doesn't. Okay, then I am saying who made it sucks. Whoever invented this. Guaro con azúcar es muy muy bueno. Azucar es muy bueno. That's bro.

It grows on you. It's a little tough. It needs to be cold and it's like only shots. There was one time years ago I went to Miami and these girls showed up with a bottle of it. shots of this and I did and I was like get out of this get out of the house yeah this is horrible yeah yeah yeah I remember yeah I don't really like that at all I like I like aguardiente I like aguardiente

I said that bad why I said that like I'm not fucking Colombian myself I like aguardiente you care aguardiente aguardental I also but I'm not a big fan of like the licorice flavor no oh uh Grappa no Uzo no oh my god that could go to hell the Greeks fuck not the Greeks that drink I mean is that Greek yeah it's a little bit all the things that you're people yeah what do you hate about the Egyptians now Joe I don't know I don't know I haven't tried any anything but they've any alcohol what was the origin alcohol I'm sure there is Joey what was the other one you were gonna say oh what's the

fucking Jaeger oh yeah my Jaeger days are behind me disgusting I was never a big Jaeger fan and then I just your cousin ruined that shit for me yes he ruined it for me too he brought the bottle this bottle it was the size of a fucking the table not no exaggeration the table it looked like a jukebox like it was huge you carried it on his shoulder and he's like we were just gonna finish this I was like I'm done he fell all the way down the stairs in front of my house that day it took him 10 minutes to fall down 10 stairs it was fucking crazy and then he and then he threw up all over my luggage he threw

up all over my luggage and I remember the funniest part about it was he felt so bad and he bought me a new like new luggage but he bought me like an echo unlimited suitcase and it had like a griffin on it and I was like probably should I just let this stuff you threw up you threw up all over all my stuff beautiful yeah I never could do Jaeger bomb shots I can't do Red Bull no I remember you made me do an Irish car bomb I was like I'll do them to the day I die disgusting Irish car bombs and picklebacks wait what is an Irish car bomb again it's Guinness and then you're already off the train yeah I hate that

and then it's a half shot of Bailey's and a half shot of Jameson and you and you have to do it quick because if not at Kirtles oh that is one of the most grossest fucking it tastes like chocolate milk it's disgusting it tastes like chocolate milk it's so good I don't know how you don't like it I don't pickle backs you made me do it that one day that day was disgusting it was like just me and you for some reason on St. Patrick's Day it's fire what do you mean disgusting that sounds fun as shit no no but I'm saying it was so random because we were in McCann's RIP yes it's close down what yeah they're turning it into a

wine bar which I'm kind of that's kind of cool actually but place wasn't bit of a dump yeah it was a diving place yeah but we went there we were in a city with our friends but then we just like ended up just me and you and we were drinking green beer ill St. Patrick's Day yeah and then you were like you're gonna do an Irish car bomb I was like I'm not doing that and then you ordered to and I was like fuck I was a different human being on St. Patrick's Day yeah I loved it I loved every second of it I had to piss outside a hundred thousand times yeah yeah I pretty sure I pissed over someone's like welcome Matt yeah I wish we could I

would I legitimately would on like St. Patrick's Day go and try to do that again just like do those barcrawls at the parade and stuff like that but you wouldn't do that you wouldn't do it anymore because you're just like oh what is what what's the most expensive bottle of wine I'd be like bro buy a fucking beer and you're just like I don't think that about me you can't is it wrapped in I tell you what next St. Patrick's Day if you will do that it's gonna be tough I'm gonna have a two-month-old the following whatever following St. Patrick's Day no oh okay we're gonna we'll do the barcrawl I'll

wear a green t-shirt that says kiss me on Irish or whatever or pinch me on my wrist or ever the fuck I think it's the kiss me is the one that you that they wear isn't it pinch me or it's all no you pinch people who don't wear green yes yeah whatever the fuck it is and then I'll drink Bud lights with you the entire day and we'll hang out with all the fucking 20-year-olds okay hold on wait a sec because I will have a two-month-old yeah so it might be a little tough but I do think it would be a fun like Santa got a studios video babe it's work we're like we like for St. Patrick's Day or like the week after

St. Patrick's Day you just interview people on the street while we all get hammered yeah okay yeah I think that'd be fun no or we'll have and we'll have Anne bring us to all the bars he knows he's fucking 23 yeah and you get it's a write-off because we're filming a video doing it there you go and Jesus Christ I am business-minded you nailed it but I think we can get out of here that's a good plan this is I gotta say yeah real good episode yeah it was a good one I had a good time I had a good one too why didn't you say it was not a good time that it was just us together at the bar I didn't say it wasn't a good time I said

it was ran I said it was like weird that we were yeah why is that weird because we were with everyone and then ended up by ourselves so I know you're back to being on edge yeah I guess I can't believe everyone went home I guess I'm I just miss you I do miss you but that's not a conversation for now at Alvarez 8085 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez on Instagram YouTube Tiktok for Square for what I don't know that's a yard game Pinterest I'm not on Pinterest born up nope not on that either well but go check it out and then like I said

before check out patreon.com slash the basement yard subscribe and help us it's a good gift to give if you want to give people a gift of the basement yard and you want to think of what to give them during the holiday season whether it be Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas whatever you want to do patreon.com slash the basement yard thanks for getting us a 12k 13k we got something brewing up for Joey so check it out yeah you guys go follow me at Joe Sanagato and go follow the show at the basement yard on Tiktok and Instagram and that is all see you guys next time