The Basement Yard - #380 - How To Become An Alpha Male

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

Frank & Joe finally reveal how to become true alpha males.. because they are so alpha and strong and get girls & cars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going? Yeah, he's smoking a pretzel stick as if it's a cigar cuz what else are you supposed to do I gotta tell you Damn, that was like a snarl a snart a snart. I don't know what snart is. Yeah, I don't think that's a thing I used to try hard To when I because I I've honestly stopped smoking cigars like just naturally and I used to do the whole like Coop it in the side of your mouth thing like all the whole time a cigar. Yeah, dude. Can't do it. Yeah It's a burning fire. No, but like you ever see like Al Capone You see Al Capone

You know all Al Capone you know good old Al He would just keep one in the side of his mouth and just chew on it all day. Oh, I tried to do that couldn't do it You know, that's the worst thing Al Capone's ever done Yeah, he wasn't a very admirable I don't know anything about Al Capone. How you doing? I'm doing well I'm doing well to see you good to see me Good to see you. I mean, thank you. Well me as you know, I am who I was waiting on the fact that you were saying like It's good to see me as well It is nice to say things like that. So you give it to me back, right? I mean, that's the issue here take I give

Okay, I take you give You're you just repeated that no, yes, you did. Oh, yes, you did. No, I didn't yes You did the same thing twice. I take you give Just because you're pointing doesn't mean the words that you're saying you take What yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you're saying it's the same outcome. How you doing? I'm doing good Yeah It's been a week it has it has been a week and quite a week

Yeah, when this is coming out and I'll probably be with my new daughter. Yes, we're recording them a little far in advance What's her name again? Damn it. Yeah, you were close. They're gonna snap ants. I gotta be honest with you as of where we sit right now You don't know we have like three names. We just need to figure out which is gonna be first What's gonna be in the middle? Oh I was like what yeah, so like you're like Joseph Patrick Kanye No, and then We're just figuring out the order at this point in time. Yeah, which we're excited. Are you waiting to see it?

Yeah to see her and go This is the thing. This is little Oliver. Yeah, Patricia. If I go an old stupid name like that Patricia, I hope you wouldn't like Patricia Barbara Barbara Rose. Oh, bro Who show me one child named Barbara one? Yeah, I think Barbara's out. I don't think there's any more Barbara's deserve to be out barbs Like Babs Babs. Oh my god. Babs reminds me of big tits though. Yeah, it does. It reminds me of Babs Bunny Babs Bunny. Yeah, who's that? Babs Bunny. No bugs Bunny. No Babs Bunny

Babs Bunny is not a bunny bad bunny. No, that's a Babs Babs Bunny is not a thing. There's bugs Bunny. There's bad Bunny bro, Babs Babs Bunny is a bunny dude. Who's Babs Bunny? She's from Tiny Dude Adventures. See I'm not a fucking idiot. Oh shit. Oh Shit. No, what's up? Dude? She got old She grew into her ears. That's such a weird creepy thing for like I don't think it happens anymore But when like creepy uncles are like wow you filled in and it's oh, yeah

You're actively looking at her boobs when you're saying that wait. Oh, what I don't know What do you think the filling in is? I don't know. It's yeah. Yeah, it's like a creepy way that like Wow Old men used to be like wow you filled in which means you know, I'm wearing a bra. Yeah Yeah, you know what I mean. Oh, you got tits now. It's like you're fucking me. I'm not a woman What I'm not a woman. Yeah, so how do you fill in big fat dick? You got a big fat bolt bulge over there waiting to fill in What are you gonna finally fill in Frank? No with boys. They say your balls dropped

Yeah, let me ask you a question No, they drop. No, it's not what I was gonna ask you but actually is that a thing? Yeah, physically they do they drop when do your balls drop around the puberty age really? But I have memories before that. Yeah, and my balls were just up like they were like yeah Basically, they're just kind of like chillin and then they drop when it's like do you remember your balls? It's like a bird from a tree like the birds stay in the nest and then when they're ready to kind of go out on their Own they drop a little bit. Well, no the mom kicks them out. Yeah, whatever the dick kicks out the balls That's what happens. Yeah

So the dick is like the mama bird and when when she's like, okay, you guys should be ready by now She just kicks the birds out. Yes, which are your balls. Yes Do you remember your balls dropping because I don't remember that I didn't wake up one day like oh my shits are Slaying and I remember one of my balls dropped before the other so you had one of these I had yeah, I had a you know a lady justice on my yeah, I got my pants. Yeah, and it was a little weird I'll say that I would say so. Yeah, because like you have one that's kind of just like, you know looking up at the other Yeah, exactly and like one of them is like sitting there like yo, what's up down there? Yeah, it's like you'll get down here It was it was weird, but then yes, they did physically. I remember them dropping

I can't tell you exactly when they happen, but did you be like oh my god my balls finally? I don't know if I said finally because like it wasn't not until after my balls dropped when people started saying that like in public around me Like oh your balls haven't dropped yet. Yeah, they have yeah, I remember the first time I started wearing boxers I was loving that. Yeah, I actually probably should have gotten in trouble I was in third grade and there was a girl in our third grade class and I showed her I was like look boxers Yeah, they showed a girl your underwear. Well, yeah, like over the pants. Okay, I pulled like the elastic. Who was it? I'm not gonna say it. Why not because? I'm now is gonna ask if I know her I definitely know her

Yeah, I mean obviously we're in the same third grade class I'm gonna start rattling off girls names and I'm gonna say no to all of them. It was Miss Pogerman's class though It was Miss Pogerman's class. That's right good old lady probably gone gotta be gone, right? No, no, no, she told me how to do fucking script, too. Why does that make her alive? It doesn't but I just choose to believe that she's alive ice cream party last day of school awesome Yeah, David throwing up brown on the table not awesome not awesome not awesome I brought him to the nurse and the nurse was like I was like he threw up There's like he's alright, and they threw up again, and she's like I leave him here

I'm like, yeah, you take him. Yeah, bro The nurse's office was wild you would go for anything and they'd just be like you good. Yeah, no even if you said no They'd be like, yeah, you are get back out there. Yeah I don't think the nurse ever called my mom like you got to pick your son up unless I actually had a fever I don't yeah, I can't remember a time that that happened for me either It was bro It was legitimately like torture getting to stay home from school Because my mom never believed me when I was actually sick, but always believed me when I would fake sick

Yes, so it was fucking tough dude when I faked sick I had a whole fucking routine and she but she'd be pissed at me the whole time That you're staying home like oh just fucking You know and I'd stay home But then when I was actually sick it was like nope you're going to school And it was like fucking it was like damn maybe I should fake being sick right now But then I can't fake it when I was actually sick. You know it was cool When it would snow

Because me Shannon and Keith were in different schools at the time if one of us had off she would just let us all stay home Damn, yeah, so it's not like you know if one of us had school and then the rest didn't like or whatever Like if I didn't have off, but the other two did you but yet to stay home I don't really remember having many snow days as a kid like and I'm not saying snow days like your parents just told you to stay Home I'm saying like school was closed Because I feel like in at least in New York City. They don't close that motherfucker Not only they not closed just those fucking trucks are on the road the moment It's about to snow and they stay on the road the entire time

There's only one time that I remember the snow was so bad That like the streets were not paved paved plowed right and it was It was like 2008 we were in high school and it snowed like an insane amount And I remember seeing cars in the middle of my street just parked. I Remember go I was at someone's house And there was no snow on the ground and then when I came out of the house It was like two feet on the ground and I took me forever to walk home And I was like fucking 10 blocks my house the biggest

Yeah, I remember it would take a while to walk down a block because you were fucking like You know like the feet snow shoes that would have been nice to have yeah like tennis rackets on your foot No, we're gonna work. I would assume they say it does because it's like weight displacement. I Struggle to think that it's real. Yeah, no, I think it's just tennis rackets. How did we get here? I showed a girl my boxers. Oh, yeah, who was it? Who was it? I'm not saying it. Why miss Pogerman What does that have to do with just repeating the name of the teacher? Was it Pooja? No, Tiffany. No, Kelsey. Actually, no, she moved away after second grade. I was devastated Well, she came back the last day of third grade and she made a big surprise entrance. I remember that

I do remember that like she was yeah, like she was Princess Diana. Yeah, and she and honestly She was also treated like it you did to you treated her like it you bitch. I was a part of her. I loved her I loved her you're part of the problem. Yeah, well, she was like, oh guess who's here boom and I was like what? Wow Yeah, it was a baby's back. It was a big time. She was visiting though. She was moving right back right afterwards Yeah, absolutely. And also I I remember that her and her like she came around like later on in life when we were in Like high school. I do remember that wasn't what it's like Jordan coming back for five. What's the same? No, I think that I was still into it. Mmm. I think we were old enough to see that she was kind of weird She was quiet. She was quiet. We're going way too far into this

But you don't want to say a name and we're just talking about a specific person here You were talking about Kelsey's who else who else was in that who else was in that class Did I name any of them yet? You can keep naming them and I'm not gonna Lauren Bettencourt. Oh That was a full name Who at first the last there bro? Shout out. She was always cool. Hell yeah, she bald hard to bald hard. She bald hard bald hard But yeah, I remember I remember the first time I wore boxers and I was like, why is this a big deal? But it's like a coming of age thing for boys

It's like you know, I'm saying why is it a big deal that you can't say who you showed your boxers to Because I don't know if they listen or why I don't want to it's the first thing I could anyone know We've talked about this person before I'm not gonna I'm not gonna keep bringing it up Oh, it was Jamie. It was not Jamie. I better not have been you bastard No, but uh It's like a coming of age thing for boys It's like you get out of these little fucking stupid ass underwears that look like shit. Let's be honest Also, they're super white dude. I was probably shitting in them. You definitely were shitting in them, bro

Yeah, did you ever do you remember in pre-k when you have to bring like a change of clothes to school? Do you ever need to change because you either shit or piss your pants dude? What yeah? Oh, okay I didn't in pre-k. I shit myself bad really. Yeah, I like shit the hell out of my pants and pre-k She's the hell out of my pants, and then I remember miss Payolella. Oh great love her where she God knows But she brought me to the bathroom and I had my in my cubby I had you know my spare change I had my spare tire And she like brought me to the bathroom for me in the stall and then like threw it over right? Oh, she didn't help you No, she fucking Montana that shit over

Yeah, fucking do that and then I had the thing and I had to open and then I took Shit my shit, you know I shit the hell out of my pants So I took off my pants and boxies and I had to shit pants boxies in oh, no I had no they were tight makes it so bad as tidy whities are so tight that they hold them They hold all the shit. Yeah, and this was not a regular wipe folks. This was like wiping a baby This was Def Con poop this yeah, it was it was bad And then I'll be honest with you so I had to change I had a pants I had a pair of pants and underwear that you give in socks and I was like, let me just change these while I'm here

Just a case yeah, and I honestly don't know what I did what the stuff Oh, it went back in a plastic bag, and it went in the garbage. I assume um If I don't know no dude. There's no way your parents. Yeah, how could you clean shit pants? I mean you can But how you wash it you put shit in the wash No, so we I as someone who is the resident dad besides Greg I Had times when Ruby was young where she would shit through her diaper So you got a shit thing 15 years. She's really gonna hate this story. Yeah. Oh, she's a share pants as a baby

I'm talking about being old and shitting pants and it gets all over like the onesie Yeah, and in our there's like a slop sink in our kit in our laundry room. Okay, and you rinse it You rinse the the poop and then you just go right into the maybe a little spray and wash a little But it's got shit on it's shitty. Well, yeah, it's it's more brown at that point or a green Or light light yellow cool And and then it goes right into the wash. Huh? Yeah The wash drains. It's all right. Yeah, but like don't you don't you think like the washer now? Just has like a bunch of shit in it. It cleans

It cleans inside the washer with the soap. Yeah, I guess. Yeah So then why would they throw on my pants? It was pale. Oh, did she throw my pants? Well, it was 1996 Washing machines were nowhere near what they are today. No, my my washing machine was fucking fire. Really? I used to you know, I used to be afraid of my washing machine because it was the one where it's like you throw mad shit in Uh-huh, and then like it's just a thing in the middle that goes like And then all the clothes somehow mix. Oh, we had the one that had like a little spiral thing in the middle That's what I'm saying. Oh, I thought you were saying it was like two things that go like this No, it's just like a spiral thing that would spin it didn't spin as much as it like it would literally spin like this

And it would I used to watch I thought if I put my hand in I would get stuck and pulled under You did do that. No, I used to think that yeah any time I would do laundry growing up in a childhood home I would watch the water fill it up and I would imagine there were little people on my clothes And then when the water came and got them that they've drowned What yeah, I would watch the water fill it up And as them as the water was going up in the washing machine drum I would be like, oh, there are little people living in the civilization on my clothes Like um, like, you know, and then as the water rises up it like takes them and kills them

What could I say to that? I mean I the only thing that I can compare that to is when I was dry when I would be in the car And if I was sitting window, you know, there's like a handle I used to hold it like a joystick and then pretend that I was shooting missiles at other cars and just killing people That's nice. I'll just be blowing up traffic. That's cool. I like that one Yeah, and we'd be in a traffic jam and I'm just like I'll handle and then also used to pretend like this was a machine gun So like sidewalks. I'll be killing people. So you just then this was the missile. Yeah. Well, I bet So you just had dreams of you know mass shooting

Uh, yeah, but you had a mass drowning one. It's okay And also isn't a mass shooting if it's missiles. It's not a mass shooting. I was just god looking down I didn't fucking you filled them up. I I was just god You caused the flood god watching and you're the one that has the gun Fair but I was shooting missiles You also just said machine gun. You said this was machine guys. This was missiles. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes But mostly missiles It's not a mass shooting if it's missiles

It's then it's a mass missling. It's a well, okay fine mass missling. It's still evil. Technically. Yeah pretty evil joe. Oh, it was yeah We all do stuff like this. Oh, I don't think I day dreamt about you just drowned a bunch of people and you're close I was god joey. I was god and I watched the great flood come and take away the microbiome people on my clothes What's wrong with that You were were you afraid of it though? Were you afraid of the I wasn't afraid I was laughing the whole time. No, okay psycho I'm talking about are you afraid of fucking were you afraid of a washing machine like getting trapped in it? No, because I'm not a fucking dumbass. I was mad scared. You're so stupid. That's why well no time out I was a child impressionable and I think my mom told me that because she was worried that I'd fucking fall in and get

Well, it is a it is a serious thing that like they always tell kids not to hide in washing machines and dryers because It's no, no, no, it's an actual thing is like there have been cases of like kids playing hide and seek in the house They hide in a washing machine or a dryer parent doesn't know turns it on and they die Way to fucking bring it down frank Jesus christ, you know We're having fun fake killing civilizations and you put a dead baby in the dryer Oh, well, who know never said baby joey? You're the one that is sitting there fucking daydreaming of opening fire in a crowd of people in traffic in traffic That's not a crowd of people. It's a crowd of cars fair enough

It's a different thing when I'm in traffic I think of if I had mine powers and I sometimes use my hand and pick cars up and get them out of my way so I can drive Why don't we do that? No? I don't know Mind power. You know the actual another question. Okay You know, we both grew up like star wars fans. Yes, we did The answer is yes, but have you ever just went like this to a to an object just been like, let me get this on camera You just went like this

For such an inordinate amount of time just like standing there like come to me or not even just not even star wars matilda I just watch oh I'm just like just fucking move. Oh, she would she would do this too. Like she would like she was she was big with fingers She was she was big with it. Okay. Um But yeah, I used to do that like a crazy amount She's like oh my god, and I like really thought that I could do it You could like that. I could get a water bottle just to move slightly and come to me I I mean, let's be honest. You can't until you can you know what I'm saying?

Like if you just sit there and you maybe keep trying you might be able to get it No, that's not really the problem with you know telekinetic abilities The reason that we haven't figured out we can do it yet Is because we're always cast lighting other people into thinking that we can't So if you sit there and I'm and if you stare long enough you might be able to I see your thumb I see your thumb. I'm not gonna. I see your thumb. But can you imagine? Can't imagine this for a second. Bro legit imagine this Imagine I'm sitting here, and I'm just like making a joke and I'm like, uh, whatever and then all of a sudden this thing just went What would we do

30,000 patrons in a day, bro. I would throw this at you as hard as I could scream shut off the cameras and jump through the glass Well, that's the other thing I'm a nice person, but if I did have superpowers, I'd do some bad shit. I would be just Bro the world in traffic Legitimately that car thrown into the air. Yeah, I just got to make sure no one's important in it No kids or whatever that crush that vaporize like it'd be gone. Yeah. Yeah, I don't yeah, I'd be very irresponsible with superpowers I don't know that I would be like a good person. I would I wouldn't tell anyone I got powers

But I'd be like there's not enough like A villain like super villains, you know what I mean like if they're like I can like yeah I can go after like, you know bad people like, you know Fucking, you know, you know bad people but It wouldn't be fun unless they can fight back Yeah, you can't go after bad humans. Yeah, like oh, there's a fucking mugging down the street and it's like all right like Yeah, just get robbed people can use a good mugging. You know what I mean?

Everyone should be robbed at some point. It puts some hair on your chest Yeah, I don't want anyone to get like well actually I don't want anyone to get hurt I want you to lose your possessions. I do think people could use a punch in the side of the head I agree with that if someone would just cock back and just punch you right in your fat coconut head It would be really nice. No Fat coconut head Uh getting punched from the side of the head so it doesn't mess up any of your you know your face But just get punched in the side of the head get your stuff stolen. It's nice. It's nice. It's good

I don't want anyone to be the victim of crime because crime is a serious issue. I hate crime I will say though you hate crime. Yeah, I don't like crime Hmm. I felt like you were saying that at like a verb like you hate crime You well you perform hate crime to do you say yo, you just said I hate crime remember those old nicolonian commercials verb It's what you do you hate crime. You said you hate crime. No, I said I wait You're like, you know, I I hate crime. I hate crime. Yeah, but you didn't you didn't pause you didn't say I hate crime You went I hate crime. No, I'm like, oh, okay. This is something that you do. It's a social construct I can't hate crime or do the act of hate crime because I am a hispanic man, joey

Sounds like you're trying though. You said you said I hate you do the act of hate crime I hate crime you hate crime all the time. We can run the tape you do you Oh, what do I do you do and you know you do what do I do? What have I done? See that's what happens when you do it is you get very defensive like that. That's what the world sees You have spun this around Like a like a washer like a washer dryer Anyway, so what was your favorite hate crime that you've performed? The one that you paid me to do

You would still be performing a hate crime. You'd be taking me down with you But who's in trouble the person that shoots the gun or the person that put the gun to the other person's head Both idiot Who's in trouble? I don't know you we would but I would give you up quick So I'd get immunity, but it would be harder to nail me What is the one crime that you've thought about doing the mose and getting away with robbing? Yeah, me too, dude, like I and I I really feel like I could but then I remember that cameras are everywhere Yeah, but you got to you got to think about something

A cop is not going to go and pull cameras for like a petty theft robbery So what kind of robbery would you do a couple walks? I would do a good robbery. I would rob You know what I would rob groceries And also lad in you fucking street rat Yeah, this wasn't a fear of yours growing up like My mom would go to like Costco or something she would come back and she would park in front of our house and leave the the The trunk open and we would just you know take all the groceries in the house

I would run back outside because I was worried that someone would be walking by and like take our ham Um, first of all, why did you buy a ham that much and you came up with that example? It was just a thing that came in my head But you weren't worried about people stealing out of your car like your groceries. No I had this crazy fear that someone's just going to run up Take our groceries and run up the block No, because I did the ultimate alpha male thing and I loaded both of my arms with 400 bags And cut off my circulation and walked in like this. Yes, but I was 10

So that would mean I would you weren't a strong 10 year old. I was fucking yoked No, you weren't yeah, it was no uh Your jeans were pretty brawlik. I'll say that it was I was 10 joey well My jeans weren't brawlik until it was like 13 14 All right, and how do you know what's in my jeans you freak? I knew I'll trust me That the trust me was too much the trust me sounded like too much

It sounds like we once had sexual relations. We never did a lot of people often think that you and I have sexual tension Dude so many people They do i'm serious. They beat like oh my god, dude one day someone sent me a message that I didn't see for a while And it was about danny And I need to find it, but it was so Just give me the just give me the 10 cent story joey bro

I I can't but it was basically like yo danny praying on you What basically like yo like be careful with him Like he wants to like have sex with you. Yes. Oh here it is There's a lot of words in here just use it but I Because I it was a clip from an old episode where danny had texted me in the morning and said bro kissed you in my dream So we were talking about that and then someone sent me a message and it said it's like watching a sexual predator groom it's pray for uh

danny is trying to break you down to fuck you then when it happens He'll make you feel guilty like you gave him the signal to go Listening to the basement yard when danny's talking about anything sexual is completely cringe can't do it anymore Be careful joe. You should you shouldn't have someone take over for him I immediately sent that to danny. I was like bro. Yeah almost almost got me. You almost got me almost got me I was careful all right. I bet you were I hit the fuck out of those cases. Yeah, that was actually very appealing the way you did that So anyway off the backs of that I guess we'll do these ads

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ladies and gentlemen Boy, do we talk about the patreon often, but it's honestly for a good cause and what is that good cause? us patreon.com slash the basement yard We not only did we get to 13 We just blew past 14,000 patrons and we are slowly but surely climbing up the ranks in the worldwide Podcasts and we want to not stop until we get to number one now. What is patreon? Well, it's just more of this if you like this if you like us if you like me if you like joe

Then the patreon is where you want to be and i'll tell you how to do that patreon.com slash the basement yard You sign up for that first tier. Well, guess what you get these weekly episodes a week in advance before everybody else that second tier well, that's where the Goodies come in baby and you get exclusive episodes every single friday and You get to watch anything in the back catalog too. So oh no, I just signed up for patreon today Guess what anything that has been posted on there you have full access to so go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard We are trying to keep up with coming up with what we're going to be doing as we're hitting these milestones And we are so thankful and grateful

Keep watching because we're going to have more announcements on what we're going to be doing But the most recent one is that drag episode. I looked good. You look people say I actually spoke to a friend Who is very into rupal's drag race and they said that I looked better But I needed to extend my neck more and elongate my neck Is that what they said? Yeah, but nonetheless patreon.com size of basement yard. Go check it out now. Thank you for the love and support We're excited for 2023 2022 was huge bunch of peanuts

What was that last part I burped as I was going to say something and that's just how it came out a bunch of penis Well, no bunch of penis got a bunch of penis bunch of yeah Um, also, uh, I just got a text that came in from Your dad joe sanagato Hey, joe. I was thinking now that christmas is over and the new year is starting. I should set up my Messages so I can auto respond to my regular textures. So you're all set up Push one button and my message to you is hey, fuck you 2023 should be a fun year. Talk to you on new year. See you

Wow, I don't even know how to I gotta be honest with you I get the opposite end of it for my dad and I kind of wish I had something like that Like my dad will message me and be like a son's love is unparalleled Like way to go dad Yeah, I don't know my dad's on a kick now where he's just like texting me all the time I think he's mostly fuck you stuff. I think he might be starting to love you. I think so you think we could hope Oh, well, he texted me on christmas and he said just for today and only for today I'm changing my post-it note message, which he that's text messages. That's what he calls texts post-its

From fuck you to merry christmas. Love you son. Have a great day. And I said, oh, thanks dad I love you too. Merry christmas. And then he just sent this one. So so so he's on a roll He's back to fuck you. Can I can I you give me one day? Can I just text your dad? Just give him give him my number and him and I will text for a day and then I'll delete it And then I'll delete it. Yeah, I'll delete the text in the number I'm gonna say no for you. Why because they won't stop coming in. It's okay Okay, your dad and I have a special bond. He used to drive me home a lot. He used to

Not like you. Yeah, he used to drive me home a lot. He did he used to drive me home when I would stay at your house And I'd have to be home by nine. I'd always be like, all right I'm gonna leave and your dad would like I had no problem walking home But you're trying to live two blocks for me three, but who's counting and your dad always made it seem like Come on like he's like he was driving to fucking Long Island and back. Yeah. Yeah, let's go Yeah, he would also would he would like think it's like insane that you would walk home Yeah, well and then he would tell us that we needed to be outside more It was like I was literally gonna be outside. Yeah just a minute ago

He used to tell me all the time like He's like whenever you're out just call me I put he puts it he put his he used to sleep with tube socks and he would put his cell phone flip phone in his Sock, he's like so when it vibrates and rings, I'll feel it and I'll wake up Well, he couldn't hear it because he had the mask. Well, no, this is before that Never picked it up. Never not once. No, not once. Yeah, my mom was the same way My mom would always say like anything call me. I would I swear to god. No one is worse at answering her phone than my mom But they needed you didn't have him. Yeah talking about mom

There's a story I saw that I that I that we said that we were gonna talk about that's kind of kind of dictate the rest of this episode Yeah, and uh, there's apparently this guy nick adams Who is like an australian like pride himself on being an alpha male. Do you know who this is? I see in your circle or my circle. Yeah, your circle. You're in a circle of people. I'm googling nick adams But he's like an andrew tape type but not as like i'm i'm going to find you and I will fight you because men fight I don't know who this guy is apparently. He's like, you know a hyper Menonist as they would call it I think is the term that people would use for him. He looks like a guy named angelo

Doesn't let me see Put away your nudes Dude, that's what he looks like. Yeah Bro, he looks like this doesn't look like his name is angelo and he like his his dad owns a pizzeria Exactly I was just gonna say his dad owns a pizzeria and his dad's got like a lazy eye too Yeah, and he hasn't been able to breathe since 1914 right, but he makes fucking really good pizza. Yeah, really I mean, well, it's the you know what it is. It's the sauce

It's the racism in the sauce. Yeah, it's absolutely the racism in the sauce But there was a story that came out that said that he is now boycotting pizza hut After pizza hut went woke and he said alpha males eat at kfc Do you think that well, let's start here wait hold on Uh You you've eaten at kfc. Yes. What's your order at kfc? Uh Three piece spicy

Three, I mean if I want to die tomorrow, I'll go five. Yeah, okay. Well, I don't want to I'm not eating kfc kfc unless I like I'm upset. I'll be honest. I'll say this though Popeyes over kfc. Fuck yo Popeyes is fire even though I got robbed outside of one. I'm still loyal Did you yeah, you remember when I got shaken down and they took my mat in 97 I thought that was in front of a bank. That was which was right next to Popeyes. We were eating in Popeyes Oh, yeah, that's right. There was a Popeyes over there. Yeah, we were eating in Popeyes. Good times Um for who I was on your phone. You were so I saved your phone. You did Yeah, but you didn't save my eagles hat

But then your brother picked us up and you bought me a new eagles hat, which wasn't even mine It was my brothers It was very nice and your brother got mad at me because I made a joke about him fighting people and he said you Fuck a little bitch. I'm trying to help you. Right. I remember that vividly. I often want to tell thomas. I'm sorry, but I he doesn't remember Well, no, he remembers It's probably it's gets a scumbag. Yeah, that's probably that hurts. I uh, I uh Popeyes is amazing kfc. I used to drive with Keith randomly and we'd go to there's not even a kfc like near me I had to go all the way like northern more. I know exactly where it was northern boulevard. Yeah, which I almost killed

Unself in people around one time Because I got we went and we would get these things and it's like a chicken sandwich That has bacon and cheese in the middle and the bread is chicken. Yeah, I remember it Double down double double fuck double dash the double bypass the double double bypass surgery. Yeah, so We would go and get those and they were the fucking good Oh, I could I could bet and it was like this cummy dressing on it, too Now we're going too far. I'm just saying it was that stuff was really good too. Why do you like it? Just taste it good. I'm sure it did

But when we ordered it I like was in my mom's car and I went to go grab the order and I like extended and my foot extended right on the gas Whoa, dude, but I was in park still. Whoa, dude. I know but if I was in drive I'm taking off and by the way sidewalk where you can't see people coming up the drive slow And intersection. Yeah, you would have been dead. It's okay. I would have I would have took out a bunch of people it doesn't matter. I were a chicken sand. Listen Popeyes over over kfc. Love. He's still good. Can you know what? You know what? Watch this might get some tonight kfc, maybe not

Or Popeyes, uh-huh I don't know which one you're saying maybe a little bit of column a Didn't expect you to stop Popeyes biscuits Uh, I would go to war over Popeyes biscuits. The Popeyes ones are a little too dry I'm sorry. Did you say kfc biscuits over Popeyes? Yeah, that's what I'm saying You're a fucking idiot, but we know that the best biscuit is three two one red lobster They have really good biscuits, but no Popeyes is better

Popeyes is better. All right. I think the best they're dry, but who cares I I do the taste though It's more buttery, but it's not I want a little moisture in there as well if I'm spit on it Spit on it spit on the spit on it. Give me a non-drive fucking biscuit Bro, just just be a man open the biscuit and it's so hot And it's buttery on the outside and if you if you if it's too dry for you, you little girl spit on it Is that what you do when things are a little too dry for you? That's how I eat Like an alpha male like an alpha male. Yeah, I'm gonna say you know for for my southern and the fries

Oh, they're good, but I always get my sides. I always get the mashed potatoes and the coleslaw Mashed potatoes are good the mac and cheese surprisingly not that good at Popeyes I don't even know if I've had it. It's too creamy and there's not enough flavor Yeah, uh, I don't really like the the mac and cheese. I like boston market I can't eat boston market I I literally so when I was in college when I was in r.a. Did you know I was in r.a. in college? I Did you go to college? I went to college

um, we would we would show up early and do summer like we would do training before Like the rest of the students moved in just get to the boston market We would get boston market for at least like one or two meals for the the two week training. Okay, and Uh, every time I had it every time my stomach hurt really every single time weird cornbread From boston market can't have it Cornbread's okay. I'm not a big cornbread guy. Uh, it depends because people who make it makes really fucking good cornbread, dude someone where was I made

cornbread pudding Holy shit, bro. Becca makes like a cornbread casserole with like corn in it. Fuck I would hope it's in the fucking name. Well, no, there's like you can buy cornbread with just like a packet But like she puts the ad shit to it. She she crushed that little bitch But the reason I was getting at it is because it struck a question in us. Yes What is an alpha male an alpha male and what do they do and how can we become alpha gentlemen? No males men because alpha and gentleman don't go together because an alpha is like Rough and tough. Yeah, okay or proven proper

Oh, okay, you know, yeah, have you been seeing on tiktok the like wolf pack family? What the fuck is that? You don't know you haven't heard about these people. I gotta send these people who have like wolves It's like a skinny twerpy fucking redheaded dweeb Who is like the alpha wolf and he lives with like Three or three girls and they are like his like his beta And like the other like part of his pride pack. I don't know Oh, they actually do a lot of like they do like wolf shit

And like there's one video where wait, do they act like wolves? Yes, bro. Wait, I thought this was gonna be like a Okay, keep going and he like eats spicy food, but he's supposed to be like the alpha So he's like He's like his fucking shit is burning He's like get me a towel and they're like, I don't see any napkins alpha and he's like, I said towel And they're like is it burning? He's like, no Wait, is it is it a bit? No, that's the best part. I'll show you after I'll show you after there's a guy

Oh, did they think they're wolves, but they just think it's like I'm a man. They know how to look it up What the fuck is it called? Why do people do this? I don't know it has to be a bit out bro. I'm telling you it's not a fucking bit Frankie. It has to be Bro that guy bro. Yes, and look they have a battle to determine who's the alpha Who's the other guy? Epic wolf battle. I can't even watch this. This makes me so upset Those are the is that the that woman in the background is one of the one of the one of the wolves Yes, dude. Okay. All right. Let's just get to what we're talking about because I'm sorry. That's one one more

This has to be fake I am fucking married What the fuck bro icon I can't like sometimes with these Things I can't tell if people are joking or not. I hope to God that they're I know There's a couple people on tiktok that I can't figure out if they're joking, but I Secretly hope they are. All right. Well, anyway, let's get to what we're doing So we picked out some categories to try and figure out how to be the biggest alpha. I don't know Frankie's answers I know mine. Yeah. Um, so the first thing we have because it was the fast food restaurant

What's the most alpha fast food restaurant? All right. First one I picked hardies Hardies. Yeah, what's hardies? You know like Carl juniors and hardies No, and I'll tell you why because alphas only eat places that are fucking rock hard And you know a thing is harder than hardies and I won't include Carl juniors because I'm not a fucking junior I'm the alpha head of my pack. Although Carl jr. Did have that one Fucking Super Bowl commercial or a girl with a big fat boobs up. Did she? Yeah, I think I think that was Carl juniors I don't remember it have any that either of these places either and either and either I picked taco bell

Why because it's like yo, just like Get the taco bell and have diarrhea like a man. Yeah, that's right. Get into the bullhorn Yeah, like eat your food and conquer it bro. By the way, that just reminded me This just happened five days ago I was here by myself and I was like, oh my god. I have to go to the bathroom So I go to the bathroom, right? There's usually not people in the bathroom and I had to shift I had to shift So I go into the bathroom and I and someone comes in and I'm like, so I just leave

Because I wasn't in the stall yet. Why? I don't know But then I come back And a guy Is gets in the stall, right? Like he had just gotten to the stall and I'm like, oh, he doesn't see me So I go into the stall anyway, but I sit down this guy takes The craziest beginning of a shit. I've ever heard in my life. How what do you mean?

I thought it was a gun it was like And I was like one the first thing the problem was I was like, yo good for him because he doesn't give a fuck He knows I'm here. Yeah, and he doesn't give a shit So that was alpha. Yeah, shitting hard in a in a fucking is pretty alpha I was like, damn dude, this dude doesn't give a fuck. I didn't care about his Like shitting. He only has hard shits. That's what I'm saying. So Taco Bell for me is like up there That's pretty good because I also have Wendy's because like bitches are the mascot

So let's go get some Wendy's so you're eating from the woman Okay, is that what you're doing? Oh, I'm just saying there's bitches around quit saying bitches Maybe Stop Why you said that I I understand the logic but this is also a bit. Okay, all right I said my second I said fucking jack in the box And I'll tell you why because my fucking alpha name is probably jack and being a jack is hard as shit And I'm always in that box

I've also never eaten there. Me neither Where are these places? I think jack in the box. I think it's more of like a southwestern thing Or like west I don't think I've ever seen a carl juniors hearties or jack in the box in my entire life I've been to a checkers once good shakes. That's it. I've seen a checkers. There's one by me actually nice I really want to eat it. Uh, they have fat fries. Do they I really want to eat at a white castle But I can't convince anyone in my life to eat it with me. You're not gonna convince me Last one for my alpha males Only place we eat is fucking burger king and I will tell you why because we are royalty and we do not eat like peasants

It is burger king or it is fucking death and dishonor Actually, I have mcdonald's but I think you're right you and you're mcdonald's you want to be getting eaten by a clown Getting eaten by a clown I will say that burger king is probably more Manly yeah, just because I think they have like Fatter burgers and we have seeds on our buns clean buns are just like fucking cleanly shaped balls They are not alpha enough. We want seeds and grit Got it All right, next one. What's the most alpha way to say vagina because saying vagina is verbatis. Yeah

So, how do you say vagina spike? So you want to have sex with a woman's spike just yeah, because there is nothing as rigid and aggressive Spike alpha. Yeah, I put front hole Pull out your front hole. Let me see it. I put lady bathroom That's okay. All right, but no, but okay fine I put flap trap I put master bedroom I actually like that one because that is where I am and I am the master

Yeah, and anyone that decides to be an alpha in my master bedroom will have to fight me And the last one I put was bunny hole I had trouble coming over the last clearly like bunny. I don't know but you know bunnies actually do burrow and they make um like that's where they like have their kids I don't care I don't care if it makes sense. There is nothing more alpha than a man Being above a vagina Above a vagina, how does how do alphas drink their water?

I'm just becoming andrew taylor. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. How would you drink a water like this? I guess so. Yeah, no, how do you drink it? I Please try to drink the water like that. Just I'm gonna suck that water bottle the hell I was gonna go like this Frankie There's electronic Jesus Christ my fucking face. You're soaking wet. What's happening? Frank. Oh my god, it's spilling out of you

Did you get is there any water left in your are you crying or is that water? Yes, that's not an appropriate answer I Good god, dude What a mess Well, you spit everywhere That's how alpha males drink water got it. All right Next one

What's the most alpha way to have sex? Okay Wait, no, that's not the one I saw was next. I saw the car was next. I know but I'm going out of order Um The most alpha way to have sex is laying down with the person doing the work on top Oh, so just getting ridden. Yeah, because I am a man and sex for me is is a not Sex for you is a privilege for me. It is what I am deserved The first one I put was missionary with the news on I

Watching the news getting information and fucking pussy. Yeah as entrepreneurs and alphas the intake of information never stops I need to be getting sucked and getting mind fucked at the exact same time What's your next one? As a wolf There is one way I do things and that is as an apex predator as an alpha male I have sex as a wolf So I sit there. I howl and I let the world know that this is mine Got it. Got it. Got it

The most alpha way to have sex. Um, this one I just put with your boys What like just just fuck your boys All right Not what I expected what's better Oh, just like saturdays are for the boys. Yeah saturday and sundays are for fucking your boys. Yeah, exactly. Yeah a nice delightful sunday. Yeah Uh, my last one was with no less than three women Ah, because as an alpha I have multiple women around me who are all vying for my attention and sex right right

So far so good. Yeah Uh Let's go to pets too. What's the most alpha pet to own? Yes I'm starting Okay, uh a bird that yells at simps There's probably a parrot out there that says weird shit. Oh, there are 100% are parrots out there that's yeah parrots are unbelievable Bro, it's insane. I I like they'll like be like, hello I know but they also that was really good. Yeah

Dude, you sounded exactly like a parrot. Give me something to say as a parrot. Um, what's going on guys? That sounded like almo. Hello. That was better. You got the hello down. Hello You're gonna need to stop now. Don't celebrate. That was almo. I love parrots Watch a lot of almo apparently uh the first one I have the most alpha pet to own NFTs Oh, because some of them are animals. Yeah, they are. What's the board apes the board apes? Yeah I was gonna say rich monkey. Uh, that might I mean technically technically that's yeah Can we agree on a little baby thing here?

Yeah NFTs Don't know what those are don't They're stupid I'm not gonna buy one guess what you might own it. But guess who else also owns it everyone else also owns it You know what I'm saying? Well, no, that's not what I post a picture and saying I'm selling this nft Yeah, I can just save that picture and now I own it wrong. Nope No, yes, you are wrong. No

But still even though you are wrong and you can technically own the original blah blah blah Uh, I don't I I just don't care. Okay. Sorry my other pet that makes me an alpha male Is a ravenous pit bull on a leash, but the leash is just a chain Yes, I also row pit bull and I take pictures of it with it in between my legs. Yes, like dmx and uh, like Yugoslavians And Albanians, you know, I got attacked by a dog once I thought you were gonna say by Yugoslavia and I was gonna say Oh, no, but most people we know were well. Yeah. No, I I was definitely um Have I told that story on the podcast that you were attacked by a dog? No, a Yugoslavian. No, I wasn't attacked by a Yugoslavian. I was

A Yugoslavian called me and said come to the park. We're gonna jump. We're gonna jump you and I was like literally the last place I'm gonna go now. Like I'm not gonna go get jumped. Yeah, actually the person that said it. I believe That's enough Frank. Yeah, Jesus Christ I guess you're right I guess you're right It's too wild thing that you're gonna do Um, but I did do that and I also wrote lions because come on I feel like alpha males if you're an alpha male You have a statue of a lion outside your house. Oh, you have two

That go up the stairs But the reason I don't like those is because they're also out of libraries. Nothing is as beta as a library books get right Did you say get right? Yeah, get right books What what does that mean get right? last one I have here is A big snake, but I also need to have my tongue pierced so I can kiss it open mouth What does that mean? You've never seen that kiss a snake people that have snakes also have their tongue pierced

And so they can do like the And like they do like the snake little Why do they have to have their tongue? I don't know. It's what they do like the rod like the ball And the snake kisses the ball you've never been to the Bronx and seen a Puerto Rican on grand concourse joey Yeah, they all have snakes. They all have their tongue pierced And they're kissing snakes outside of yankee stadium. Damn right. They are because that is what alphas do They were not afraid of animals. We are the apex predator in our kingdom. Are you allowed to have a snake out? I think you can like you could just hold a snake like britney spears. Yeah, I think you can

Why is the first place you went britney spears? Did you held that fucking yellow snake? Oh, that's right That was a big bro. You know what fat snake anytime. I think of snakes I think of the skit and jackass 2 or was it jackass 3d Where they're in the ball pit and there's a snake in there and you see it bite on fucking johnny noxfield's arm Dude, I i'm not really afraid of snakes Um, I don't mind them, but I I I don't want to be next to one Yeah, like huge ones are scary because like once it starts wrapping around my foot now i'm terrified Yeah, well, not only are you terrified. You're dead

Uh, yeah I accidentally stepped on a snake once walking on my college campus. Did I ever tell you I went to college? Yeah, you weren't all right, right? I was um, I was literally walking and I was wearing Footflops and I stepped on something. I thought it was a stick and I looked down and it was wrapping around my foot It was like a really small skinny one though. Oh my god. Yeah, but I was like When I was when I was in utah, we were on a hike espo You know I went to utah. Yeah Espo saw at first and he like leapt in the air and I felt like I cartoon catched him. Yeah

There was a snake. It was like this big. Where did you go? What's that that park called yukon national park yukon? Oh zion zion. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, it's like yukon. All right. What else can make me alpha male? Your favorite color. All right. There is three right answers fire red Okay, fist pumping orange Okay, and cowboy brown Cowboy brown makes sense because they're all very strong powerful colors, which not They're not subservient to other colors. I said blue Very not beta out color

Very what that is a beta color camo very good And then I just wrote usa Like a usa print. Is that a color? I think red white and blue. I think I think Red white and blue until the day I die. I bleed it. Yeah. All right. Let's just do this last one A car. What's the most alpha car that you can have?

Hmm The first one obviously souped up Honda Civic It feels Asian Could asians not be alpha males. Joe. What are you trying to say here? No, I'm just saying it sounds Asian No, it sounds like very like fucking like first car A souped up Honda Civic. Yeah, bro. You never seen people with Honda civics that are fucking lower to the ground and then you're they're like And he's like, bro, you're just driving a Honda Civic. Yeah, and it's like, uh, the lights on the floor

I used to think that was the coolest thing in the world. I can't I legitimately Legitimately said out loud to people you included that the cars that I made in need for speed underground too We're going to be the cars that I owned as an adult And that means a white souped up Toyota Celica That was a good car in the game. Yeah, that was it was I had a the Shelby whatever that was Shelby GT and I had a fucking I had blue lights on the bottom of it. She was You want to play that game recent like soon? Wait, which one are you talking about?

Need for speed underground too. You and I used to race all the time. Is that the one where you just get away from the cops? Uh, no, it's the one where it's like there's different races. There's like drag race. No, I know But there's like you can there was like an open world type of thing where you can just drive around. Yes. Yes. Yes I think underground is the one I'm thinking of though. You're thinking of underground where it was like pursuit You might be talking about too I'm talking about underground too. I'm talking about the Snoop Dogg song in it When he did the cover of riders on the storm. Yes. Yes, that's need for speed Underground too. Joey, this was the cover

I'm telling you I know this was the cover Mm-hmm. Yeah, that was a good game great game. Love that game. Absolute fire Uh, so that's what I said. I said a souped up Honda Civic I said a Ford f-150 A big muscly fat Hunk of junk. Yeah, you know, yeah

Like do you have like the thing on the back like on the ball hitch you have the hanging testicles? Yes, you have to Yes, yeah But you know what I saw the other day that I actually liked on the back of a car It was like a minivan and there was like a fake buzz light you're holding a woody Damn, that's fire. That is kind of fire. Also stupid as shit though. I don't have many vans. Yeah, too many too many stuff Bro minivans are expensive. Are they bro? I remember when we were looking for a new car We saw like we like I like paid attention to minivans and we were like, oh, we want a family car

Somewhat like starting msrp's at like 60,000 dollars Good gravy dude a lot of money Not cheap But it's also because they're like super like safety rated and stuff. All right my next a jeep on giant wheels Ah, that's a good one because I need to be able to make it through any weather and a regular jeep can do that But now I need big wheels. Right. Yes, drive it right onto the beach I need to not only that I need to be able to jump into my car by climbing onto a giant wheel That is probably very dirty

dirty I wrote a Hummer Bro the smallest cars in the world. Have you ever been in a Hummer? Yes, they're very tiny and I've never been in a Hummer They're really from what I remember the one I was in was years and years and years ago Like legitimately like 2002 who's Hummer? It was a one of my dad's friends Okay, his name was roman And there you go. Now you know him. I don't know and uh, I remember getting in the back and it was like Bro, it was like if I was sitting like this the roof was fucking here. So I had to like sit down. It was like low

It was really really low. Damn. Yeah. How low can you go? How low all the way to the flow? How low can you bring it to the top? Like I never never stop, right? Yeah, can you bring it to the top one hop? Uh Uh The last one I said joey is a candy colored Lamborghini that wakes up sleeping idiot babies Yeah, this is that you're speaking from personal experience. I I've yeah There was like a uh there. I hate those cars when you drive down a block and you wake up fucking Sleeping kids. So stupid. Yeah. Also, listen, you like motorcycles all the power to you. You know, what's really stupid this Yeah, bro, dude. Why don't motorcycles are like this? This isn't cool

This is not like you're not cool. There's like you got a leather jacket on with a bunch of rings and piercings in a jacket But you look like a baby. I'll see you later Yeah, they look like a baby like trying to like have their mom pick them up. They're like Pick me up. Bro. So stupid. How can you even hit the brakes up here? It's really really dumb I hate that. It's always like the old guy at the group too. He's like, uh, get on my chopper Yeah, and he drives away to and it just sounds like this driving away Clapping down the road and shit like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just get a motorcycle or is it? Come on. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool. We're getting a little side car. You ever been in a motorcycle?

No, I wouldn't I've been on two in my life I've known I am actively against motorcycles and you want to know one of them was a terrifying experience because my then girlfriend's dad Drove me home on a motorcycle. Jesus, you know who it is. I do know who it is Terrifying and I would trust Someone's first day on a motorcycle over. Yeah, it was doubly. Oh, actually, I shouldn't say that never mind Yeah, um, but I uh, yeah, I'm completely against motorcycles I I don't it's known too many people have died on them

Uh, I mean, I know for sure one how many more I mean one is more too many period I think I know like four really. Yeah, you'll have to remind me after I don't know if you know them I know, you know one of them. Yeah, I definitely know one. Um, but yeah Uh, I my dad was always like he literally said to me. He's like, I'll support you anything in life So I guess spoiler didn't yeah, but I will not support you getting a motorcycle. Yeah, they're too. They're too much Also, I'm like a bitch with speed Bro, I I'm afraid of going 80 in my car. I can't imagine doing that in the wind Yeah, I definitely don't want my body out like I'll like I'll drive

I can drive 80 and feel whatever if there's no cars around anything but like I'm I'm scared. Well as the saying goes. It's not a matter of if you get in an accident. It's a matter of when I guess it's true. That's what that's what they say. Yeah So well, there you go That's how you become an oh the last thing I wrote was something manual I don't know guys love saying that they can drive manual It's like they can drive stick a lot of and and you know what's funny is I've heard from like women through life that like A man that could drive stick is like sexy

I don't get it. Why what is sexy about this? What do Hold on. I gotta break You're just out of light just jiggling the thing. Yeah, and also it's not cool looking It's just a stick in the middle of a car. Also. I just like I I don't I don't want to there's certain advancements and human like That's wasn't an advancement. I don't think that was like listen There's certain advancements in human civilization that like they're way better than what we previously had Automatic gear shift. Yeah way better, dude, right this whole like fucking you want to go 20 miles per hour per hour and you need to fucking

You know Play fucking plinko Come on. Yeah, I know I don't like that shit, but that's that's that's what you that's what you get folks If you want to be a fucking alpha male That's what you do. We also had outfit Oh, what was your outfit my outfit was Uh, the the dress shirts that have different color colors Okay, I know you're talking about a belt with a logo on it

Gucci Ferragamo Ferragamo your favorite Balenciaga and then And then shoes that are spit-shined by the pores. Can you say that again Balenciaga? Say it in your normal voice Balenciaga Okay seriously Say it one more time Balenciaga, why are you saying that?

Oh, seriously, this is not a bit. I know Balenciaga, right Why That's not it What is it then Balenciaga? Oh, I didn't know that you and I I'm so glad that you said that because there was a previous time Where you had set it out there and I was like I can't wait to fucking because I thought you were gonna say it on the show I said most words with much aplomb. It's not very laborious and I think Balenciaga is the way to go Balenciaga, yeah

You're really you're really, you know going to bat and defending them here, huh? Good for you, Joey. No one's defending them. You're a real hero for Balenciaga, but it's not Balenciaga It is Balenciaga, it's not balance. Do you know I always thought you know the hats the golf hats What hats you know the golf hats? What are the golf hats the golf hats? I always thought it said tit least Oh Titlist yeah, oh, yeah, I mean that's just a brand. I know I'm saying the golf hats like they're the only ones Well, they're like the brand titlist

Nike, I didn't know Nike was like big in golf How could you say that I don't watch golf tiger woods all he wears is likey. Oh, I didn't know I don't watch golf I know tiger woods. How do you know titlist? Because I see the hats Whatever balance the aga dad's love titlist hats. Yeah and balls got a new titlist. Yeah Never you bud. You're being golfing I've never done like Like an 18 like I just go to the range and I fucking send them like Espo

Ah, I got a 6am t time tomorrow out in fucking stony brook. Yeah, like it's like, whoa, that sucks. Cool. I'll be at brunch Good time. Uh, well, that's there you have it folks. Uh, that's how to become an alpha male Enjoy if you'd like to be one. That's how you be one and we would know because we are the most alpha of men You know what an alpha male to me is joey A man that's compassionate listens kind hearted Gay I'm gonna I'm gonna go take a hard shit allowed funny

You told me previously in another episode we did that you never talk about when you take a shit You're like, I never do that. That's all made up twice this episode. No, you brought off the fur I was talking about someone else taking a shit I'm done with you bitch. Anyway, uh, thank you guys so much For uh, joining the patreon. Uh, we have over 14 000 now. We want you guys to keep joining trying to hit number one on the site Uh, patreon.com slash the baseman yard Go follow the show at the baseman yard on tiktok and instagram as well And where can they find you f alvars 80 85 on twitter the frank alvarez on instagram tiktok youtube

Cameo all those places and uh, yeah patreon. Yep. Not at all. See you guys next time