The Basement Yard - #385 - Curing Blindness Isn't Enough

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

Joe and Frank discuss the hate Mr. Beast is getting! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going bud? Hi. Ha ha ha ha. I see, I see in my stead you have sally forthed and created additional entertainment for the masses. You're just gonna be a pirate on this episode? I'm sorry, this is not a pirate. That's a pirate. No I de-pirated here.
Starting point is 00:00:18 That's a pirate. I was here. That's just like a British pirate. What the fu- That's not a pirate. British pirates don't exist. Of course they do. No, they were just called colonizers. Ha ha ha ha. Technically you have a boat and a black flag and you're gonna-
Starting point is 00:00:35 Whoa dude, Jesus Christ. No, if you have that then you just steal something. You're a pirate. So anyone's a pirate if you just got the intent. You need a boat. Can you pirate on land? I think you could be a, yeah cause they would get to land and they would do pirate stuff. No, no they would pillage. That's different than pirating. Oh yeah, that is a technicality.
Starting point is 00:00:58 I didn't even think of the pillaging. Just the pillaging. That was a hard, yeah. You went hard art and instantly demonetized. I didn't want to do that. Well, I guess- I said grapes. He did say grapes.
Starting point is 00:01:09 No, I've been watching, I just watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy. You watched the whole thing? Yeah. Not the hobbit, not those newer ones that suck balls. I heard the hobbit was like alright. All of, I'll tell you this, I tried to do that recently. Because every couple of years or maybe like every year on and off I'll watch all of Harry Potter again. Yeah, that's a lot because that's nine movies.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Some like that. Eight? Yeah. This is only three. However- They're 400 hours long. They are three hours long. And they're boring.
Starting point is 00:01:43 No, no, no, no. Bro, I don't know how that became such a big thing. Well, it didn't become a thing. They filmed them all at the exact same time and they're like we're fucking putting these out, bitch. Really? Yeah, and they were just, they just so happened to be great. Dude, that first movie, I watched it, I was like this fucking sucks. I knew someone, I came across someone, by the way, you were a big Legolas boy.
Starting point is 00:02:05 Yeah, I do think I'm a dog. Yeah, but you rewatch those movies. You rewatch, alright, slow down. My shoulder, I think just came out. Yeah, well, you rewatch those movies, he's a little twink. Legolas is a bit of a twink. There's been Lord of the Rings porn parodies, there has to be, right? 100 billion thousand percent.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Because I remember back in the day, you were like all about Legolas, you were like, yeah, two swords, just shy. So he said, yeah. I now more, I connect with Gimli. Why's that? He's just smoking and drinking and he's like, ah. Yeah, he's got a big axe. At one point they're all running, Aragorn and Legolas are running and they're like, yeah, yeah. And he's just running in the back and he's like, I just got to breathe through this and I'm like, that's fucking me, dog.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Wait, he said that? Yeah, at one point. And he's like doing yoga? Well, John, it's funny, the actor that did Gimli and John Rhys Davies was like taller than everyone else in the movie, but you know, Gimli's a little, a little... How'd they do that? You know, a little... Cut his legs off. Nope, a little camera trickery.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Same way that they made the fucking hobbits look like little babies, dude. Well, Elijah Woods a little guy. Yeah, but not that little. I don't know. They make him legit, like if Gandalf is as tall as that door. Gandalf was a big old fuck. He was a big fuck, but not that big. They made Elijah Wood like at the fucking doorknob, dude.
Starting point is 00:03:19 And they had hairy feet. They did have hairy feet. I didn't like their feet. Do you know I know someone that their celebrity crush was Elijah Wood? What? What the fuck is that? Yo, honestly, that's just incorrect. Just tell me you're into women.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Just say that. Just say that. Because he's a... He in that movie was very like curly hair and he's like, Oh! You know? I don't know. I hate his feet.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Not the typical heartthrob, I would say. No, definitely not. Not even close. I would say of the movies, your boy, Legolas. I wanted him to bloom. Well, no, bro. The hottest guy in that movie is... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Really? Bro, this guy is smoky. And he's like dirty. Yeah, but all of his teeth have spaces in between them. Still. But he was hot, though. He is a good looking guy. But now, he doesn't look so good.
Starting point is 00:04:13 And he had light eyes, easily. Well, in that movie, he's like... Fofrodo. Or whatever fucking weird accent he has that I can't figure out. That makes no sense. First of all, his real name, Vigo. Kind of cool. Wait, he looks weird now?
Starting point is 00:04:27 Yeah, go look at a picture of him now. He looks like every... Your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving who just says the R word. What's his... Vigo Mortensen. Vigo Mortensen. Come on, that's a cool name. This guy...
Starting point is 00:04:46 Is he Russian? I think he... No, he was born in New York City. Bro, this guy looks like... He's from our backyard. This guy looks like he could be an evil Russian. Oh, probably. He's a good actor.
Starting point is 00:04:58 He was in history of violence. I don't know if you ever saw that. I was really good. 5-Eleven. Good for him. Oh, I thought you said 9-Eleven. I was gonna say... Start early, huh?
Starting point is 00:05:07 Vigo Mortensen. 9-Eleven. Yeah, Watertown, New York. That's crazy. Watertown? What the fuck is that? That's a great question. What the fuck is Watertown?
Starting point is 00:05:20 This town is so small. Well, it's Watertown. Is it on the water? It's kind of close. Where is this? This is like up there, dawg. It's basically... Like Buffalo?
Starting point is 00:05:35 Yeah, but it's further up. Why? It's right near Canada. Why do people live there? It's like above Syracuse. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, that sucks. Very Canadian-like.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Yeah, basically. Canadian-adjacent. That must be his stupid accent, because in the movie he has a dumb accent. Yeah, I don't know. So you think he was hotter than Orlando Bloom? Yeah. Like, I like a rugged man, though. You do like rugged men, but you also loved Legolas at the time.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I did. I think he was the coolest. Let me ask you a serious question. Yeah. Gandalf, the actor, Ian McKellen. Yeah. So, so gay. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Is he in your list of gay men that you would like love to hang out with? Like, not love to hang out with, but like you'd go gay for? Well, you don't love to hang out with anybody. Like a gay straight, whatever. Like, you know what? Remember we had an episode where I said, I was like, listen, if Elton John wooed me, I'd be like, what's up? Let's go on a date.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Oh, dude, get on the piano and I'm... Tear it apart. Yeah. If Ian McKellen was like, oh, you are. Oh, he did the voice. Well, that's how he talks. Yeah, he does sound like that. You know, if he was like...
Starting point is 00:06:41 I like when he wears turtlenecks. Does he wear turtlenecks a lot? He does. Oh, as Magneto. No, no, no. I just meant like as his gay self. But Magneto too, though. Does he?
Starting point is 00:06:51 I think he does. Oh. He's like, Charles. Yeah. He has a really nice voice. He does, Charles. It's a booming voice. He's so fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:06:59 He sounds like a principal over the PA system. Bingo. If he were to come out and just be like, you show your ass. I'd be like... It's Gandalf, bro. It's Gandalf, dude. You got to show Gandalf your stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:17 So I've been... My whole personality has been Lord of the Rings the last couple of days. Movies suck. The two towers is good. They're all good. No, they're all good. You know what I love? You know why?
Starting point is 00:07:27 Because they don't have fucking... You know what? They don't have people drinking like Arabica bean coffees in their fucking mornings or something like that. Okay, here we go. How are you going to talk to me about that when you have teas that are like so fucking... Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do.
Starting point is 00:07:44 The other day he was here. Here you go. Don't fuck you. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't you dare. The other day he was here and he was on his computer and he looked up a brick of tea leaves. And it was $1,500 for tea leaves. Yeah, Joey.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Do you know why? Because it was a fucking aged puerre from 1990. A 32, 33 year old tea, Joey. You're just saying words that mean nothing. How do they mean nothing? This is what I'm saying. He's tea bougie. You're tea bougie.
Starting point is 00:08:08 I'm not tea bougie. You're tea bougie. I'm not tea bougie. You have a $1,500 brick of tea. No, I do not. I said I would like to one day, but I don't feel in any capacity any, any sepulence of a feeling to spend that much money on tea. Joey, don't you fucking dare. You have a $10,000 watch, you stupid bitch.
Starting point is 00:08:23 And you don't even wear it all the time. You can't even tell time. Fun fact about Joey, he failed his third grade test of telling time. It's true. He never learned. That's why he has a fucking clock out there that has no ticks on it. You never learned. I can't.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I can't tell time. No, you can't. Did I actually fail a test like this? Yes, you did. Third grade. Fuck your head. Fuck your head. I'm not really good at it.
Starting point is 00:08:45 I know you're not. I can do it though. No. I can't tell time. I can't tell time. You buy a $10,000 watch. Why would you do that? I can tell time.
Starting point is 00:08:54 I can. Yeah? It just takes me a second. How long? Honestly. I gotta like make sure. Yeah, exactly. You need to use, you can't just look and go, oh, it's bingaloclock.
Starting point is 00:09:03 You have to look and you go, where's the short? Is that one longer than this one? Listen. Don't you dare come for my tea, you stupid bitch. I've never, no, I've never been a tea snob. Your tea bougie. No, I'm not. I like to indulge in something that is a very cheap, in reality, a very cheap luxury.
Starting point is 00:09:20 All right. Tea? Yes. It's very cheap. You could go to the fucking big time, money time like that for a $1,500 tea cake, but I don't do that. Big time, money time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:31 I think my most expensive tea was like, for like 100 grams, like 40 bucks because I'm not a little bougie bitch. Not yet. I don't want to be. I kind of want you to. I don't know. I'm having this fucking $3,000 tea. No, I wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:09:48 How long would that brick last? 100 grams, five grams in infusion and you probably get, you know, like 15 infusions out of it. Oh, I don't, I just want an answer. I got to do some math here. Let me do how you're looking at a watch. I don't want you to show work. No, honestly, you probably get like 200, 300 cups of tea out of it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Yeah. So in theory, that's why I say it's a cheap luxury. 100 grams of tea. You do five grams in infusion and you get, let's say a low amount. Let's say 10 infusions per five grams. 10 goes into 100, what, 20 times? Yeah. Look at him.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Look. I can't fucking do it. I'm looking at you. I'm not listening to you. I know. You did that before too, by the way. Full transparency. I said, he's like, what do you want to talk about today?
Starting point is 00:10:37 I said something and then responded with, oh, it's probably a work. And he goes afterward. He goes, oh, that's pretty cool. Like, oh, what? He goes, it looks here like it might be a work. And I was like, I just fucking said that. And Joey looks at me, deadpan goes, I wasn't listening to you. Because I am capable of doing two things at once.
Starting point is 00:10:55 I know. I fucking know. I can't read and listen. What's up? Yeah, I am. That's you. I hate that about myself. How you doing though?
Starting point is 00:11:06 Okay. Yeah. Hot start, babe. Hot start. Also, yeah, I sort of bring up, I was on Tiktok. What? And someone posted a clip of where you just called me a street pigeon. You said that I would taste like a street pigeon and I lost it.
Starting point is 00:11:25 You probably would. Anyway, speaking of bougie things and money and whatever, Mr. Beast is in the news now because he cured blindness for a thousand people. A thousand people. That's just good for you. There's multiple thousands of people though. Here's the thing. That's not enough.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Really? Yeah, that's the route you're taking with this one. People were pissed. I know. It's insane. People were fucking angry. I tweeted. I'm like, you could cure blindness.
Starting point is 00:11:58 And people are like, you're exploiting these people. It's like, I'm giving them sight. Well, it goes back to the conversation of even when you're doing things that are selfless, they are selfish. I remember having a conversation during college once where someone was like, what's the most selfless thing you could do? And people were like, oh, donate to charity or community service. And it was like, yeah, but are you getting fulfillment out of that?
Starting point is 00:12:22 That's what these fucking people are arguing on the internet. You're doing it for the views. You're doing it because you... Do it for both. Do it for both. Guess what? Two things could be true. I fucked up.
Starting point is 00:12:35 12 things. Two things could be true at the exact same time. You could be a good person and want to promote your own self. Yeah. That's okay. Who cares? It's still cured blindness. Listen, I'll do you one better.
Starting point is 00:12:47 People will only be like, yeah, you know what? This Mr. V's guy, a pretty stand-up guy, if he puts fucking cash in that person's pocket. Yeah. That's the end of these selfless pricks on the internet. I can tell you from personal experience. There was, like during the pandemic, I donated a bunch of money to small businesses and I... That's very noble of you. And I built, to me, didn't build.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I paid the money. Yeah. People who actually do stuff built it to water projects for these communities in Kenya. Hundreds of people now have water because of that. Because of, because of us. Because of Frank. Yeah. Because of the patrons.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Really? So... Feel good about yourself. Yeah. And I remember a couple of comments. One of them, which it wasn't the overwhelming majority at all, but it was just interesting, it's interesting to think about that point of view of like, I did those things because I was able to do them because people needed help. And I enjoyed doing it too.
Starting point is 00:13:52 And I'm posting about it because I was doing it with the Patreon fund. So I was letting people know where their money was going. And people still feel the need to be like, why are you doing that in Kenya and not in Flint, Michigan? Oh my God. And I was like, I don't know. I feel like, you know, like I don't have an answer to that. I can't, you know, whatever. And then another comment was like, don't be fooled.
Starting point is 00:14:12 This is all a tax write-off. He's doing this so that he could save money as taxes. And I'm like, how is, like, what is happening? I don't think people realize what tax write-offs really are. You still have to spend the money. You still have to spend the money. Like, if something is hypothetically $1,000 and it's a tax write-off, it's not like you get $5,000 back or even $1,000 back. You just don't pay that much on taxes.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Right. Like, you would rather me give the money to the government and not to people in need. Like, I don't understand. Well, that's what it is. He's helping himself with the tax write-off. It's like, I'm either giving this to the government or away. Yeah. But you would rather me do it, like, for the government.
Starting point is 00:14:54 No. That's weird. It is very, very weird. And to a degree, I can see the argument because the people that drove me nuts, do you remember? Oh. It started with Vine. The people that would go up, like, have their camera out and go up to a homeless person and be like, here, here's McDonald's and New Sox and $100 cash.
Starting point is 00:15:14 And they'd, like, take a picture with them. That drives me a bit nuts because that is such a small scale. And, like, the reality is, although, like, the sentiment behind what they're doing is positive, the actual execution is so fucking tone deaf. But with Mr. Beast, first of all, friend of the show, come on anytime you want, my boy. Yeah, Jamie, come in here, buddy. This guy is, all he tries to do in any of his videos is be as transparent as he can with the money that he has and just fucking throw it away.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Yeah. He's doing it now to, like, help people, but people are like, no, man, fuck that guy. He should be doing it for, like, me. That's what it is. I don't even know if his company is profitable. Like, he's just spent so much fucking money. He recently went on a podcast. I forgot which one, but he said he's like, bro, I don't personally, from these videos,
Starting point is 00:16:01 I really don't make a lot of money. He said that he lost, like, $1.5 million on, like, the last, like, five videos he made or something like that. Yeah, because he throws it, bro. He throws it all back into the world. Yeah. He's like, oh, yeah, this video had 30 million likes or views. I'm going to buy a fucking tank and a house and every video game known to man and give
Starting point is 00:16:20 it to someone. And it's like, that's very expensive. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I think that, like, it was just so funny. Like, curing blindness is insane. Also, I thought it was interesting because this is another thing that, I mean, I didn't personally know, and I think this raises awareness of, like, I didn't know that half of the world's
Starting point is 00:16:41 blindness could be cured like that. That's what they said. I'll go one step further. I didn't know that half the world was blind. Half the world isn't blind, you idiots. I said half of the blindness. Did you think half of the population on Earth just now was blind? Because I said that?
Starting point is 00:16:57 A little bit, yeah. I did a little bit. Okay, bud. Well, I mean, it makes sense. A lot of people wear glasses. That's, you know, kind of, that doesn't mean they're blind. So I think now that you're putting it in context, it's of the people that are blind. Half of them could be cured.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Half of them could be cured. Yes. Didn't know that. Yeah, so it's like a film over their eye, and then it's like this surgery. It's 10 minutes. It's 10 minutes. Yeah, and it's super accessible, right? Well, it's expensive.
Starting point is 00:17:21 So, like, people who are blind, they don't like it. Well, it's expensive because big eyeball doesn't want us to do it. It's big pharma, big eyeball, big government. They're all fucking. They want to keep us blind. Big glasses. You want us to be blind? How are you going to feed us our propaganda?
Starting point is 00:17:34 You ever walk into a lens crafters? Pictures of people in glasses all over the place, it's propaganda. They're promoting glasses and weakness. That's the other thing. Glasses? So weak. Beta. Yeah, it's beta shit.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Absolutely beta. You ever see my boy, Andrew Tate, wearing glasses? No way, because he has fucking strong eyes at sea for miles. Hold on. I actually have a clip that I recorded on my phone of me or of Andrew Tate. I will say, if I didn't see someone do that, that would be pretty impressive. Awesome. But yeah, Tate, what are we talking about?
Starting point is 00:18:20 Well, we're talking about how glasses are verbatim. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you try to hide glasses with contact lenses, you are not a beta. You are on Omega. You are lower on the totem pole. I thought Omega was good. Oh, no, Alpha and Omega. What's Omega?
Starting point is 00:18:33 The last letter of the Greek alphabet. Oh, okay. Alpha is the first. Well, because Alpha is like the first, so people are like, whoa. And then paint is after them. Why wouldn't Omega be like... Omega is a pretty rad sounding letter. Why wouldn't they just put it where the O usually is and R?
Starting point is 00:18:49 Because O is Omicron. That's also pretty cool. Be careful. I'm going to get flagged again. Oh, yikes, yeah. Yeah, I don't want to talk about... Shut up. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:19:01 You're dropping hard. I almost said a letter, but it's not true. Hard R's. Yeah, you didn't. Oh, earlier when I said that, yeah. Yeah, you said another word that sounds like... Hold on, that better not be clipped on the fucking TikTok. That's not the word.
Starting point is 00:19:17 The word you're thinking of is not the word I said. That's not the word he said. I promise, I promise. And you know me. Why on the tape are you watching? I'll give you a hundred examples of when Joey uses racist terminology, but not right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Mr. Beast, man, guy can't fucking catch a break.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Yeah, you know, and he lives a rough life, and we feel bad for him, and we think that he's the coolest dude ever. And if he wants to come in here and drop a couple blocks on us... Man, I wouldn't be upset. I will say this. And dude, put me in like a fucking rabbit's cage or something. Like, I'll, you know... A rabbit's cage?
Starting point is 00:19:51 Like a giant rabbit cage. With a rabbit? With like a big rabbit. How about this? Mr. Beast, you want to make a bunch of money? Put him in a cage with cockroaches. There you go. Don't.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Not a cage. A box. Sealed box. No. Yeah. That'd be good. That'd be pretty good. Don't.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Bro, do you ever notice any time you're on like Grubhub or DoorDash, you know, whatever those food apps are, Mr. Beastburger is available everywhere. Weird, huh? Do you know how that operates? Nope. I was always just very weird because I've seen one and it's at the American Dream Mall in the metal lands. Oh, physical store.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Yeah. Did you get it? No, I didn't. Is it good? I haven't had it. Oh. So how, wait, so how is it everywhere? Is it like some like sleeper cell shit?
Starting point is 00:20:39 Like they are fucking, you know, they're in fight club and they just like are all over the country. Yeah, they make them in the sewers. No, they, they, uh, I'm pretty sure you can order it in their certain stores that they tend to and they make it there, but they just package it differently. Like what store? Oh, like a place that makes burgers. Like McDonald's?
Starting point is 00:21:00 Let's say, it's not McDonald's, but like, I wouldn't be McDonald's, why would they do that? Because this is what I'm saying. Like, I think I've heard this, but I'm not 100% certain, but it's like they tell them what ingredients or whatever to put on the burger and then they go to the store and be like, when someone orders a Mr. Beastburger, they like just package it differently. Like in McDonald's, hypothetically, if this is happening, someone or Mr. Beastburger, they would make it with like at McDonald's with the shit that's supposed to be on it,
Starting point is 00:21:28 put it in the Mr. Beast packaging and send it out. But why wouldn't McDonald's do that? That McDonald's is a massive- They would get it cut. It wouldn't be McDonald's because they don't need to do that, but like- But why are they, you said that they, that's how they operate. Mr. Beastburger, that's how they operate. I believe- Adam McDonald's. I'm going to fucking murder you.
Starting point is 00:21:45 No, that's what you just said. Frankie, are you trying, you're now- No, what am I doing? You just said, Adam McDonald's, McDonald's will get the ingredients and package it. Did you miss the part where I said hypothetically? Did you miss that? No. You must have missed it. I guess I did.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah, hypothetically, it's not happening at McDonald's. Don't do this. Don't make me repeat myself. What am I doing? I'm asking a question. I don't understand something. Don't make me repeat myself. It's not happening at McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Do you understand that? Yes. Okay. Hypothetically, made up, imagine time. So Burger King? Hypothetically. Imagine. Just imagine.
Starting point is 00:22:15 What are those? Me, imagine. Yeah, okay. Imagine. Oh. Careful. Careful. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Imagine. Yeah, back here for imagine now. Fake. Pretendland. Yeah. Not real. Not real. That they would, like, just use the ingredients that they had there.
Starting point is 00:22:37 At McDonald's. We're off McDonald's. Okay. Now we're at a different store. I'm legitimately confused. I don't understand this. Oh, you're so charming and confused. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:22:47 You know what you're doing and you're ruining me. That's what's happening. Okay. So whatever, the random establishment that is not McDonald's for some reason. They cut a deal with Mr. Beast Burger. McDonald's cut a deal with Mr. Beast? We're done. I'm not talking about this anymore.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I know that you understand what I'm saying and now you're just fucking with me. No. Wendy's. I haven't had a Frosty in so long. Yeah. I've had a Frosty guy and the people that dip their fucking fries in it. Fuck you and the, and your parents. Well, I definitely have known to dip a fry in a Frosty.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I don't like that. Why? It just seems stupid. I think the last time I had Wendy's was in Utah. I had a Mormon Wendy's. Do they have, like, you can order one Wendy's burger and you get, like, eight? Wow. We'll go to you.
Starting point is 00:23:40 We'll go to Wendy's in Utah. Yeah. A single cheeseburger comes with 17 more. Look at me. Yeah. No. It just comes. How it comes.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Well, yeah. For the wives or? You would hope. Yeah. We do have some ads for today, so let's get to that. Do it. Are they also tied with McDonald's? There's a fight coming.
Starting point is 00:24:03 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy and you can start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours. A very quick turnaround if you want to get into therapy. I think it's super helpful. I just had a therapy session this morning. I think everyone should be in it, even if there's nothing particularly on your mind where you feel like you have to deal with something.
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Starting point is 00:25:49 So go check them out. It's really cool. Take the quiz. See what you're into and see which ones they pull and you can get a cool little thing. So go check them out stitchfix.com slash basement. We can also go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. Ladies and gents, we tell you guys about this stuff all the time. I feel like I'm a broken record.
Starting point is 00:26:05 I continue to repeat myself but it's worth it. The way to support us as individuals because guess what? We need all the help we can get because Joey's over here and he's ignoring me and he's talking about how certain movies are not good. But guess what? Patreon is going to help us, you know, feel better about ourselves. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. You sign up for that first tier.
Starting point is 00:26:24 You get these weekly episodes a week in advance. All right. That second tier. Oof. Oof. You get those exclusive episodes. Do not do that ever. You get those exclusive episodes every single Friday morning where they're out of control.
Starting point is 00:26:37 They're a little bit off the rails. Joey's just sitting there just spewing, just hateful rhetoric, you know, what he loves to do. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. We got some good stuff lined up to actually start, you know, for some goals and stuff. And yeah, it's going to be pretty sweet. So check it out.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Baseball yard on patreon. What the fucking hell was that? We all knew one kid that talked like that in elementary school or high school, right? No? I remember there was a kid I went to day camp with. His name was Robert, but I couldn't say his are. So he was Wobbit. And what?
Starting point is 00:27:13 That's true. It's a real story. And him and I played Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire together during that summer of 2003, I believe. Yeah. It was pretty cool. And then one day I was in Forest Hills with friends from middle school and I saw him. I was like, holy shit. Wobbit.
Starting point is 00:27:36 And he said, fuck you, flanky. And I'd never seen him ever again. Yeah. All of that. I was good with that. I just, you know, I wonder where he is today. I'm sure he's gotten speech therapy. Wobbit.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Robert. But he called himself Wobbit. Wobbit. Yeah. Okay. Well, I guess. Are you better off for having known that now? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:05 I feel like. Well, yeah. Once you got into 2003, I was like, okay. That was a good year. That was a great year. I want to talk about dicks. Oh, yours or mine? Not either of us.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Aw, man. But someone, what was it? You told me before the show, someone got, on Mount Everest, got their dick cut off? No. I wish you listened to me. In Prince Harry's new memoir. Oh, it was Prince Harry. Prince Harry.
Starting point is 00:28:31 You don't listen. You don't listen to me. Fucking hell. Are you kidding me? Prince Harry wrote a memoir. It's called something like Snape or something. And it's called, isn't it called like Shave? Shave?
Starting point is 00:28:44 No, it's called like Save. You can't, Prince. Hold on, hold on. What is it? I don't. It may be just Harry. I know it's one word. I'm going to do you one more.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Grace. Why would it be called Grace? I don't know. It's one of those words. I don't care. What is actually. Shave was a bad guess. Shave was a really bad guess.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Especially in a book where he talks about. Saved? I don't know. Joey, he talks about his penis. He is dick. He went on a North Pole excerpt. His dick. Completely misthrow.
Starting point is 00:29:23 All right. Oh, spare. Hold on. It's called spare. It's called spare. Who gives a fuck? Hold on. Shave.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Before the episode. I go, I run down Joey Alyssa things I got for the episode. And he sits there and types them. And I go, oh, and Prince Harry's memoir. He talks about how he went on an expedition in the North Pole and he got frostbite on the tip of his penis. Apparently you only heard penis. No, because you went, I actually was like, which one of those do you like the most?
Starting point is 00:30:01 Because I wasn't listening. I wanted you to say that. And I said it again. No, you said Prince's penis. So I thought it was just some Prince. I didn't know it was this guy. Still a big thing to talk about. There are not many princes in the world.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Dude, there's probably thousands. I don't know about that there, man. There's like a Prince of Egypt, a Prince of. There's 200 and something countries. So how many of them do you think have princes? However many. We're not. I'll do you one better.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Not thousands, Joe. Numbers. The numbers don't add up. In the world. How many princes? Yikes. You got Prince Henry, Prince William. I'm off for sure.
Starting point is 00:30:39 We know. Well, we could have. We could have. The rule of numbers could have told us that. I think this one says meet the world's, oh no, other. I don't know, bro. It doesn't say. Wish there was a number.
Starting point is 00:30:51 So hey, when you got to read shit or listen, apparently, yeah, so he went on an expedition of the North Pole and he got frostbite on the tip of his wanker. He's he's really his little prick is the willy. Damn, dude. So he had to chop off the tip of his why? I assume so, right? And now he's married to Meghan Markle. She's got to deal with that, bro.
Starting point is 00:31:15 He's hideous as to like to start. Now I think he's got a disgusting chopped off penis. He's definitely got a chunk bitten out of his dick. Are the people of England going to be upset at us? Like we're not talking bad about the Queen. He's fucking put this information out. He's got a frostbitten cock. Well, I'm saying, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Starting point is 00:31:33 People get upset when you like, you know, like, oh, God save the Queen. We're not. She's, first of all, she's long gone. Second of all. Long gone. Short. She's short gone. Short gone.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Medium gone. He's like not cool with them anymore. Right. So like, are they cool with us making fun of him? Yeah. Yeah. They probably don't fuck with Harry. Bro.
Starting point is 00:31:53 No, you those guys betrayed them. Can I answer your serious question? Code of arms. Have you ever joked aside? Have you ever, ever, ever thought about maybe in the future, in the past, present or future writing a book? Memoir. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Not a memoir. What would it be? It's worse if it's not a memoir, I have to say. I think people want to know about you as an individual. But if you write one of these, like, get started in the digital space fucking books, I'm going to put a gun to my head. That's not. No.
Starting point is 00:32:21 No. What have you thought about writing? I'm not going to say. Why? Because I don't want to say. It's not like about you or like about like something. It's not about me. Oh fuck.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Here we go. All right. Tell me offline since you don't want to talk about it. Yes. I mean, it's just. The point I'm getting at. Yeah. If you were to write a book at any point, yeah, would you put in there if something happened
Starting point is 00:32:44 to make your dick look just like raw meat? I probably would have left that out. You would have left that part out, right? And also he. So there's a thing that I like read. It says Harry's ears, cheeks, and penis got frostbitten. Oh, he's still got two of those. His circumcised penis.
Starting point is 00:33:01 He's sirked. Oh, is that a thing they do over there? Apparently. Oh. But his ears and cheeks. So maybe it wasn't that bad of frostbite because like the frostbite that like turns your skin just like completely black and like it's charred. That's what I assumed when frostbite, it's like it's gone.
Starting point is 00:33:18 There's nothing you can do. There's no coming back. Maybe there's levels to frostbite. I assume frostbite is like a pretty intense level to begin with. This guy just rolling around with fake ears and cheeks. How do you? Oh my God. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:33:32 I'm not going to look at that. Is it a frostbitten something? It's just everything like feed. Don't look it up. Very cold. I don't know why I said that. Yeah. There was a guy I saw on tiktok and he had a black hand because it was, oh no, just
Starting point is 00:33:49 his fingers. All his fingers were frostbitten. I assume you have to amputate those, right? He had it for a long time and it was like hard and he would like tap it on stuff. Stop. Yeah, yeah. But then he got an amputate. So is Prince Harry doing that with his willy?
Starting point is 00:34:03 His willy won't. Well, he says ears and cheeks and like you can see him and he doesn't look like he has anything like. I feel like there's better circulation of blood up here than there is down in your, you know, sergeant in generals, you know. That's where we're going. I mean, I don't know. What happens if you have a frostbitten tip and you get hard?
Starting point is 00:34:23 Does it just fucking like just shatter? Yeah, it just turns to dust. Does it just like pop open? Oh, that'd be crazy. Probably just have to cut off the tip of the tic. No, you can't do that. What else would you do? You have to.
Starting point is 00:34:36 That's the coolest part of the penis. Is it the coolest part of the penis? The tip? Yeah, dude. What's cooler than the tip? Some people like to shaft. No. The shaft is way overrated, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:49 That's what I tell myself. The shaft is overrated. I think that people like the shaft. All right, let's go. There's, there's, let's say four components to a penis and the area, you have the surrounding Mons pubic area. We're going to go regular. You have the tip, tip, shaft, shaft and the balls.
Starting point is 00:35:12 The coolest is the tip. What about the base? Where your fucking penis meets your body? Yeah. The fun's over at that point. Why do you want to look there? No, I, I, I, I. It's the most unused part of a penis.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Fair. Or depends how. Yeah. For some people, it's most unused. Yeah. Um, so what do you, what do you rank them? What's like the coolest part? What's the cool?
Starting point is 00:35:38 I would say coolest is the tip because that's like, that's like, you know, when you get to a party, like you're most excited to walk in the door. You know what I'm saying? Like you walk in and it's like, wow, I'm here. Also if you are circumcised, then it probably is like a little ribbed because it's like, you know what I mean? Huh? Like a tip, like a mushroom.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Oh, actually never mind. You could pull back. Oh yeah. By the way, circumcised weeners. So 1998, get them out of here. Uncircumcised. That's what I mean to say. Get them out of here.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Oh, well Europe's not going to like you said that. Yeah. Europe, your penises suck. Sorry. Disgusting. If you had a son, you would- Well, I do, bitch. I'm talking about a baby.
Starting point is 00:36:20 You would be like, cut that cock. Yeah. Really? Yeah, it has to go. I feel weird. I would want to give him a life long, a lifetime of fucking ridicule, just have a disgusting dick. I don't think that people feel that way.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Are you? No, you're circumcised. I am. Yeah, we know that. Do we know anyone that's not? Yeah. Throw it out there. First and last.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Address. Social. I'm not going to do first and last. What? No, no, no. Oh, I know one. I know one for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Yeah, their life is miserable now. I'm sorry. But I don't know. I feel like in that moment, I'd be like, this is a weird decision to make right now. Really? To cut his cock. Like, why? How would you do it?
Starting point is 00:37:06 How would I what? If you have a frostbitten tip. I mean, it's not what I want. I know, I know, I know it's not what you want. You get the news. Listen, your tip is gone. We need to get rid of it. I don't know that I could afford to lose my tip, dude.
Starting point is 00:37:22 No, yeah, that's, that's, that's, You're not building a tip on my, like a new tip on my shaft. No way. That's not going to work. I am all about prosthetic work. It is important. I love it. I'll never get a fake tip.
Starting point is 00:37:32 It's a fan of prosthetic work. People, it makes people feel whole again. I love it. It's so amazing. I am a fan. I am all in support. A loyal subscriber to the prosthetics. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:43 But if they were, if they were to come to me and be like, we can give you a prosthetic wing, Guang. I would say, just let me live alone, please. Oh, you would rather keep the frostbitten tip? I would know. I was asking a question that you interrupted. What was it? If I'm, I'm the doctor.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Be a doctor. Hey, Joe. What's this accent? There you go. All right. Hey, Joey. No, that'd be too informal. I'm Mr. Sanagato.
Starting point is 00:38:14 You're a doctor for God's sake. All right. Take it easy. Mr. Sanagato, I have some unfortunate news for you, but the tip of your penis is completely frostbitten and we will have to amputate it. Now you have a choice here and how you want it to be amputated and we'll give you a few minutes to think about it and we'll
Starting point is 00:38:34 come back in 70 minutes for some reason. Doctors do. Yeah, they take forever. I'll be right back. They're gone for two hours. Where are you going? You can stay. I'll just make up my mind.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Honestly, I'd rather you stay. What were the choices? Any choice. Like would you rather them do like the thing with like a pen top where they flick it off? Like they hold a thumb to it really tight and they flick it off. Or they just wrap it straight around it. Oh, Cleaver.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Yeah, Cleaver, my shit. Cleaver would be pretty rad. Pretty rad, I would say. Or get like a sushi chef to like shot, shot, shot, shot. Really? You ever see someone like on TikTok like cut an onion? I'm like, yeah, that looks cool. Oh, I'm saying I want like the chefs that do like they cut like a
Starting point is 00:39:11 600 pound tuna with that giant knife. Yeah. And they just fucking slide through it. Just like put my dick in a tuna and slide through the tip just to get it. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, put your dick in a tuna. Already dead, Joey.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Come on. Put your dick in a dead tuna. Now we're onto something. Okay. Never heard of that kink. That is not something I'm aware of. Yeah. Dude, I had no idea that it was fucking Prince Harry.
Starting point is 00:39:35 You didn't know it was Prince Harry? That is so fucking funny. It's kind of insane. And listen, I'm all about expressing yourself. I'm a big fan of it, some would say, along with prosthetics. I love expressing yourself. I love prosthetics. Big fan of the prosthetic work.
Starting point is 00:39:52 I don't know if I would have put this information out there. Yeah, I probably would have held onto that one, Harry. If I'm the crown. In your book, Shave. Yeah. Spare. What does that mean? Better have a spare tip.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Yeah, why is it called spare? Maybe he's been spared of a life in the crown and royalty. Yeah, exactly. That's kind of tough, man. Can you imagine leaving, like, the queen's royalty? What's it called? Oh, yes I can. Why?
Starting point is 00:40:20 Because they live weird lives, dude. You have to walk in a certain path to, like, see the duke of whatever. Like, it's, like, weird. There's a lot of rules. You can't turn your back on the queen. Yeah, and then you ever see the video? I can't just, like, be like, I'm out of here. You ever see the video?
Starting point is 00:40:33 It's like, you can't turn your back on the queen, and then it's Trump just walking ahead of her, and people were, like, pissed at him. Yeah, I mean, obviously he doesn't. I wouldn't know the fucking rules. I wouldn't know either. Yeah. No, but he knew. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:40:45 I'll walk faster than this bitch. Rules are gay. All right. We do have two more sponsors for today. Oh, yes. We have Simply Safe. Keep your home safe with Simply Safe. Frankie's got it.
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Starting point is 00:43:11 That is F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash basement. Oh. Shaka Laka. That's very nice. That was very, very nice, Joe. You're very good at that. Am I? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Also, another story that we had, that you told me about before. And I was like, oh, we have to talk about that. Did you listen to this one? I did. A little bit. But it was a 34 year old man. And he did something because he was just in the mood. We've all been in the mood.
Starting point is 00:43:40 No. We've all been in the mood. Well, yes. But this story is a 34 year old man shoved a banana in a condom and ate it. And what he described as a hormonal fit of rage. Now, hormonal. Was he just like- Horny.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Does that mean horny? Horny. I thought that just meant like- Horny. Okay. But we've all been in the mood. I don't know if I've ever been a hormonal fit of rage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Like a horny rage. Think about like, fuck. I'm fucking, fuck me. I'm gonna fuck you. Yeah. That feels, that feels like a lot. That does, right? I mean, there is some rage in sex.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Like sometimes you get a little rage in you. Really? Yeah? Yeah. What was that? This was a punch and I didn't mean to do that. I didn't know what you- It's probably like this.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Well, then do that then. If that's what it is. Yeah. That's nice. Were you slapping the front? Slapping the front. I thought you were slapping the back. Of what?
Starting point is 00:44:41 Like slapping the back of it. Frankie, what are you doing? People smack butts and stuff. Oh, okay. Well, I didn't know what you were doing because this is phallic and then you were- No, no, no. Shoving it. No, I'm just saying like people love to like smack.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Like this is the person- I'll smack anything. Really? Yeah. Children. I meant on a woman. Okay. Children.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Her face. Yeah, right in the face. Not without her consent. Whoa. Some people like consent. Some people- Some people like that, I mean. All people like consent, Joey.
Starting point is 00:45:16 To be very clear about that. I didn't know if- Because I was looking at this as the woman. I don't know if you were saying like you smack the face or you like go right for the butt. You opened your mouth again. You opened your mouth, Frankie. You literally opened your mouth. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:45:28 My jaw was weird. Yeah, I like- Yeah, it was. You ever do that to like unhinge your jaw? You're not going to trick me, buddy. You opened your mouth. No, I didn't. It's cool.
Starting point is 00:45:36 You know what? We can stop the episode. Just shove it in your mouth if you want to. It was a weird moment of like I was doing it and I was- I was like- You know, like one of those. I was like- Oh, it was a coincidence.
Starting point is 00:45:47 It was a coincidence. Got it. Okay. Well, this man in a hormonal fit of rage- ate a banana? Shoved it in a condom. I get that. Then ate it.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Well, he wants to be safe, Frank. He doesn't want to get pregnant. I don't under- I think he wanted to be horny by it coming out. Yeah, maybe that was it. Like he was like trying to like- It's like this will feel awesome coming out of the back. Honestly, it would though. Frank, when you-
Starting point is 00:46:13 Are we just- are we figuring something out about you, Joey? No. Taking a big shit is awesome. For whom? Me. I think you need to realize you might be the exception to the rule here, Joey. Wait, you- when you take a huge fat dump- The moment I sit on the toilet, I am upset.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Until, guess when? Hours later, if we're being honest. A big poop? You never been taking a poop and be like, I don't want to break this one. And you just try to make it as long as possible? Bro, what are you telling us right now? You never done that?
Starting point is 00:46:46 No! Bro, people have done that. Yeah. Right? And guess what they've also done? Those same people- What? Had fucking big- big boys with balls in the back.
Starting point is 00:46:55 No, that's not what I'm saying because I don't like stuff- Or girls with thingies, too. I don't like things going in my- Yeah, apparently you like the feeling of it coming out. So what's the difference of it going in and then coming out? Because of the intent. I'm saying taking a big shit feels good. So you like-
Starting point is 00:47:08 Taking a big shit feels good. You like butt play only when it's you're controlling it and you're shitting. I like exiting shit. It feels good to shit. What the fuck is going on? I'm not saying sh- Frankie. A big shit feels nice. A big dick doesn't.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Not that I know. Apparently- Apparently nothing! Apparently he do! No. Because in a moment- Yes. You just said the break it off thing.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Yeah, like if I'm taking a shit- Maybe you snapshot that moment. Hold on, hold on, hold on. No! Okay. I'm not gonna hold on. If you snapshot that moment, what's the difference between a wiener coming out or fingers or dildo, whatever. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Whatever your kink is, go for it. Right up there with prosthetic work. I'm a fan of kinks. Kink's prosthetic work. Snapshot that. Yeah. What's the difference between someone pulling something out of your butt and the poop falling out of your butt? A dick attached to a man is a little different.
Starting point is 00:48:07 It could be a dildo. It could be a woman's fingers. I have no desire for that. But you like the feeling. No. You just said it! You just said you like the feeling of the jint escaping your dungeon. The jint?
Starting point is 00:48:21 No, I said escaping by the way. No, I said yes. I did say when you take a big fat shit. At McDonald's. That's comedy folks. That's what we call a callback. But no, when you take a big shit and you're like, oh, it's like a big relief. Like, oh, thank God.
Starting point is 00:48:45 It's nice. But there are times where I'm taking a shit and it's just like, you know, it's like in the shape of my intestine because it's so perfectly what it's supposed to be. So I'm like, this feels like a long poop. So I will like try to like keep it going because I want to make it as long as possible. You know, I don't want to break it off with my butt. You have shown me some weird DMs that you've gotten. And you've said to them, you basically in the in the context of showing them to me be like, these people are crazy.
Starting point is 00:49:16 What are they? What was that? People take a look. What was that? I was just doing this. Yeah, what's that then? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're checking off two guys in your mouth.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Hey, you're projecting onto me because you are. No, I fixed. I fixed my jaw, Joey. I fixed it. It was broken and now it's fixed. No, it was one of those like, like, um, you are a freak is what we're finding out. No, I don't want to get fucked in the ass, dude. Yeah, but you want, you like the feeling of things exiting your butt.
Starting point is 00:49:47 So what's it? There's just you and this guy. Just poop. What's the difference between you and this guy? This guy? What's the difference? I'll tell you this right now. Me saying that a shit feels nice is different than shoving a banana in a condom and consuming
Starting point is 00:50:02 it. How did he get it down there? Don't know. That's the question. Maybe shoot it up. Maybe shoot it up. No, the picture looked like it was pretty. There was pictures.
Starting point is 00:50:11 It was there. There was a picture that I saw at least. It was the actual banana. I believe so. It was a full banana. Unopened. Not a difficult concept to grasp, Joey. Unpeeled banana?
Starting point is 00:50:22 Yes. Where do you get the condom? Just eat the banana. Don't be such a prude. This thing doesn't look... Bro, that's... Wait, hold on. Bro, that looks like eight bananas mashed up.
Starting point is 00:50:38 It might have been a couple of bananas. Can I see that? Jesus Christ. It looks like a bag of shit. It does. Well, bananas oxidize and they turn to gond. This is disgusting. It really tied it off.
Starting point is 00:50:58 It looks like a pipe bomb. It does. It looks like a potato. Well, I think that was the intent. He wanted to blow up his ass. Well, he was going to blow it up with a bunch of potassium on it. Oh, yeah. Well, no.
Starting point is 00:51:07 The potassium wasn't getting to him. It's actually contained within the condom. Yeah. You ever heard how people in London say that? Condom. They say condom. Did you bring a condom? You bring a...
Starting point is 00:51:21 What do they call it also? A jimmy. Why do they do that? Do they? Why do they call condoms jimmies? I don't know. I like that accent. I'm looking it up.
Starting point is 00:51:29 I like when other countries have weird words for stuff. Why do we call condoms jimmies? It's probably a guy named Jimmy who used to sell them. It's a Southern expression for anal sex. Uh-oh. Oh. The jimmy? I was giving it to the jimmy.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Oh, no. It's probably a guy Jimmy who made it famous. A condom named after such a little dick guy. Wait, there's multiple things here. Southern expression for anal sex under the pretense of effective birth control. Originally based off of prying open some ass. What the fuck? Prying open some ass.
Starting point is 00:52:07 This is what it says on Urban Dictionary. And they know their urban words, I guess. Their dictionary. Yeah. What's that? I mean, wait, it was also like a little dick man? Yeah. See, by, uh, you could see also other words.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Jimmy penis. Micro penis, Jimmy penis, broke dick. Broke dick. Yeah. That's what it says. Would you ever have sex with a homeless person? Let's get the fuck out of here, Joe. Come on.
Starting point is 00:52:38 What are you doing? I'm just saying. Would I? Yeah. No. What's that circumstance though? You would. What's that circumstance?
Starting point is 00:52:46 If it was the end of the world. Yeah. No. No? No. Why? You'd be just as dirty. What I.
Starting point is 00:52:55 So what's the difference then? Oh, but see, no, no. Now we're getting into technicalities. Yeah. If everyone's homeless, no one's homeless. You know what I'm saying? Hmm. Technically we're never homeless because the earth is our home.
Starting point is 00:53:05 For now. True. It will blow up. You could get to Mars. It could be pretty hot. If we were going to get on Mars, would you go? No. I can't believe you even took a breath.
Starting point is 00:53:20 My answer is fucking no so hard. Absolutely not. If they're like, oh, we're all going to die. We need to get to Mars and be like, it was fun while it lasted. I'm going down with the ship. This is way cooler. Yeah. There's water here.
Starting point is 00:53:31 I've seen pictures of Mars, if they're real. Yeah. Well. It's a simulation. The sky is a screen. You know people believe that, right? Yeah. And you know they're idiots, right?
Starting point is 00:53:42 Yeah. Okay. As long as we're on the same page there, Joe. Also, if it is a screen, awesome. Yeah. I'm cool with that. Screens are cool. The only thing is like this.
Starting point is 00:53:55 People are like, yo, the government's hiding this from us or whatever the fuck and like the Jews control the weather or whatever the fuck. Yeah. If we find that to be true, okay. I'm okay with that. And also, I just need more sunny days. Yeah. No, but yes, but no also because like you need to appreciate sunny days by having gloomy
Starting point is 00:54:17 days. Okay. Gloom it up. Like definitely give us rain. We need more water, whatever. But also like I would like it to be nice, sunny. Give me gloomy Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays. No.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Let's not. I want Friday, Saturday, Sunday, always to be beautiful weather. I think Tuesday you can make like a nice Wednesday's a nice day. It's hump day. You realize like, oh, the week's almost over. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Sunday, not negotiable sunny day. No. I would take Saturday over Sunday.
Starting point is 00:54:49 No way. Yeah. A hundred percent. No Saturday. All of the way Sunday. Sunday. You Sunday has to be the sunny day, Frank. Why?
Starting point is 00:54:57 Because it's the Lord's Day. This is when you care about God, Joe. Who's bringing up Saturday? I'm saying I was in the morning. You don't like waking up in the morning on a Sunday when it's relaxing and you're just like, oh, I don't have any plans. I have nothing to do. When the sun is out, it's on my face.
Starting point is 00:55:05 No, because you know what I believe on a Monday? You know what I think about on a Sunday? I think about, oh, tomorrow's Monday. It's back to work. I wake up. I wake up. Shut up. I wake up on a Saturday and I'm like, there's nothing.
Starting point is 00:55:14 I can do whatever I want and then I get to sleep and then tomorrow I have a day where I have to worry about the following day. You have to live more in the present. You're already thinking about tomorrow. Think about today, baby. I'm thinking about today all the time. Apparently not. I'm living in the present all the time, Joey.
Starting point is 00:55:26 You can't enjoy Sunday. That's been a New Year's resolution for me is making sure I'm living in the present and putting up on my phone and stuff less. Really? I'm always thinking. Really? Yes. How about Sunday morning when you wake up?
Starting point is 00:55:36 Think about Sunday. Don't think about Monday. Let me ask you something, Joe. Yes. Let me ask you something, Joe. What's one of your favorite songs of all time? What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Exactly. Sunday morning, rain is falling. That song works because on Sunday morning, the rain is falling. It just happened to be falling when he wrote that song. Yeah, but on that moment, that's what made that Sunday cozy. You want a cozy day where it's maybe a little, give me a thunderstorm Sunday. And then you're just inside being chilly and cozy and comfortable. Chilly?
Starting point is 00:56:05 Now it's like cold? Maybe not chilly. Maybe not chilly. Maybe not chilly. But it's just like storming outside. Beautiful. You wake up to the sound of Sunday morning, rain is falling. Sunday morning, rain is falling.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Steal some cover shares to skin. Thank God you knew it because I didn't. I know that whole song. Keep going. I'm scared. Oh, okay. And baby all I need, darkness, she is all I see, come and rest your balls with. Your balls with me?
Starting point is 00:56:42 Bones. Oh, not your balls. On this Sunday morning and I never want to leave. Is that it? Close? Yeah. Good enough. I'm right there.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Yeah. I'm right there. People know what we're talking about. I think they have an understanding and they are fine with it. Yeah. Sunday non-negotiable sunny though. No. I want a Saturday sunny too.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Saturday sunny. Sunday gloom. Monday Tuesday gloom. Why are you putting three glooms? Wednesday sunny. Thursday. Bop bop. Friday Saturday sun.
Starting point is 00:57:17 There's not enough sun in that week. We need less sun. We don't. Yeah, we do. No. Yeah. Because apparently according to a big nursery rhyme, the sun is a man, a straight man. What?
Starting point is 00:57:33 Mr. Sun. What's that? We need less big straight men in this world. What's Mr. Sun? Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. Golden Sun. What's that on all the time in my house?
Starting point is 00:57:44 I know what that is. Is that like a famous song? You don't know that song. No. Is that like Old McDonald? Like that famous? Mr. Sun. Sun.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Mr. Golden Sun. Please shine down on me. Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. Golden Sun. Hiding behind the trees. These little children are asking you to please come out so they can play with you. Oh, Mr. Sun.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Sun. Are you kidding me? You really don't know this song. No. Is this something you knew like as a child too? Yes. Really? On this planet knows that song.
Starting point is 00:58:14 My parents weren't a fan of the Sun, apparently. I don't know. Yeah. What did you guys listen to in your house? Classic rock. Okay. That's actually pretty rad. My dad.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Yeah. Just putting on like a radio. But your dad didn't listen to classic rock. He like stopped. It was on though. Oh. Yeah. You know.
Starting point is 00:58:31 My dad was having like an organism. Yeah. No. But yeah. He would have it on all the time. Did I ever tell you the story? Your turn. Go.
Starting point is 00:58:42 How about talking? Your show. No, but there was a radio that he always had and when he would do like construction or whatever, he would always have the radio. And I don't know if I told us on the show at one time, but dude, I laughed my ass off at this. He asked. I was like working with him.
Starting point is 00:58:58 I was like, whatever. We're like in the garage and he goes, Joe, go get something like a wrench. Let's just say it was a wrench, right? He's like, Joe. Go get the wrench. And I wasn't listening similar to how I don't listen to you. And I walked over to the radio and I took the plug out of the wall and then out of the radio and walked over to him and put it out like it was giving it to him.
Starting point is 00:59:23 And he just looked up at me and I went, I don't know what you said, but I know this is wrong. Dude, I laughed. I was like, what am I doing? Why would you? I've all the things he could have asked for. Get the fucking wrench. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:59:37 All the things you could have asked for. I pulled it out of the back of the thing and out of this and gave him a fucking wire. That's all right. My dad somehow used to stream a radio station from Columbia called Olympica over his phone and through the speakers. And they wouldn't play songs. They would start a song and then talk over it and scream and then do like they're like little like, you know, radio jingle.
Starting point is 01:00:03 So they'd be like, you know, getting ready for a song and it'd be like, and then out of nowhere do you just hear, whoa, it's the Olympica. Which was not as fun as your story. Still fun though. And Hispanic. So better than yours. Yeah. Of course.
Starting point is 01:00:18 That's how that works. Yeah, exactly how it works. I was going to say something about before you interrupted me and I have no memory of it now. Well, there it goes. Fuck. There it goes. Watch it.
Starting point is 01:00:30 We don't know. We will never know. Well, watch it. That's, that's getting, that's getting close to the tower. That's coming real close. What'd you say? Did you say that's getting real close to the tower? Dude, we don't know.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Fuck. That was fucking. That was so fucked up. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It reminds me of those. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 01:01:05 I love them jokes. We're from New York. We can do it. We can do it. We were affected. Yeah. We don't know what we're doing. We know.
Starting point is 01:01:13 We saw it. Yeah. It reminds me of those TikToks. They called. Huh. They just hit the south. Yeah. Yo.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Yeah. Did I send you that video of the guy? No. Which one? It was a, it was a TikTok like that. No. I said POV making comedy content in 2001. And the guys, this is the guy standing there and he goes, do you ever think about how,
Starting point is 01:01:39 and then it cuts to him watching a TV and going, what the fuck? And then it cuts to him. He just goes, what the fuck? No. And then he cuts. And I was like, oh my God. It's funny now, but it was so terrifying then. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Yeah. We've, we've, we've healed. Yeah. I mean, I was in fourth grade thinking anyone was going to come into my house and kill me. So yeah. Traumatic. But that's all we have for today.
Starting point is 01:02:07 That's about it folks. But uh, you know, wing on dope. Um, you can find me at Joe Sanagato, go follow the show, uh, at the base of me on TikTok and Instagram. Frank, we're going to find you. That's it. F Albers 885, the Frank Albers, everything. Go check it out right now and then make sure you go check out the Patreon, patreon.com
Starting point is 01:02:27 size of basement yard and check out the TikToks and everything. It's, it's all so fucking good. So go check it out. Yes. And that is all. See you guys next time. Mm hmm.

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