The Basement Yard - #388 - What Is Air?

Episode Date: March 6, 2023

Joe and Frankie simply don't kno what air is! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard. Today is a great day. We have an announcement. Frank has an announcement. Do what? Well, you're loading me up. Yeah, he doesn't have another child. No, no more kids.
Starting point is 00:00:09 No more kids. He cut his dick off. Well, I didn't do that. You're in the process of cutting your dick off. That's not how it works here, Joey. Well, I'm done. My dick will remain intact. I'm not a doctor.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Well, I'm pretty sure that's not how vasectomies work. Remember when I went and got manhandled by the fucking urologist? Well, I wasn't there. Well, I told it on the story. This guy was all in my balls, and I was like, yo, you need to chill. And he didn't chill.
Starting point is 00:00:34 I felt like I got taken advantage of. Well, wait until he gets in there with a pair of scissors. No, I'm going to a new guy. Fuck that guy. I don't like him. Oh, yeah. He didn't have a warm touch. He didn't know how to play too hard.
Starting point is 00:00:44 He didn't know how to play my balls enough to make me go back. Nice. You know? Weird transition. Yeah, I don't. I feel like, boy, no more kids. So that's not what this announcement is. Right.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Well, actually, technically, this is our baby. OK. This is our baby. Yeah. Oh, it feels like there's gold to bloom. Shut the fuck up. Look at this. Look at this bad boy.
Starting point is 00:01:11 We did a collaboration with Pop Tarts. They hit us up because we screamed at each other for a full three minutes about it on television as well. They played it on television. You are now immortalized in Good Morning America's history. You are, too. Calling you a fucking dweeb. You did call me a dweeb.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I called you a dweeb. But we partnered with the fairy, fairy, with a fairy. There was a fairy that came down. We partnered with the very kind people at Pop Tarts to really make my dream come true. Right. And we created the debate box. And let's just say, I think this is going
Starting point is 00:01:48 to reignite the debate. Yeah. What do you think? I think you should open it. I think we should, right? Yeah. Ooh. Because look.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Take a stress off. Obviously. Well, too much? Do you want me? OK. That's how it's supposed to go, Joey. Yeah, exactly. I know that.
Starting point is 00:02:02 That's how it's supposed to go. Look at this. So we got me, which is really what people are here for. Right. And then, oh! Yeah. Look at that. So me and Frankie, they approached us and were like,
Starting point is 00:02:17 look, you guys had this awesome clip. We want to make something for the podcast. We want to collaborate on something. So we created the debate pack. Me and Frankie, separately in text message, had a little draft of pop tarts. And it got a little argumentative already through text. So we're excited to see you guys' argument about this.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Yeah. So keep an eye. Those four on the left are what Frankie drafted. Damn right. The best four, baby. And then these four are what I drafted over here. The subpar four, as we call them. Well, we don't call them anything.
Starting point is 00:02:46 That's what we call them here. We call them the greatest ones. No. This is the fantastic four. This is the, ah! Got it. But these will actually be available for purchase. Very limited amount of them will be available for purchase.
Starting point is 00:03:01 If you guys want them, it's a lot of fucking pop tarts, to be honest with you. But they'll be available for purchase at a. It's like, what's eight times six? You're asking the wrong girl. 64. Eight times three is. Eight.
Starting point is 00:03:15 24. 48. I don't. Let's try this again. One more time. Yes, 48. 48 pop tarts from that it is an expertly curated list. You know, when you go to like people that like curate,
Starting point is 00:03:30 like menus and wine over here at the basement yard, we curate pop tart lists for you, baby. Yeah, exactly. But these will be available for purchase. A very limited amount of the website is pop, poptartsdebatebox.com. I believe they go live on two separate days. I think the first one is March 1st.
Starting point is 00:03:49 But just pay attention to the basement yard Instagram. We'll make official announcements there. But we're going to tease it on the 27th. Also, if you're a patron, you're watching this a week in advance. So on our Patreon, we put every episode out a week in advance. And you guys will probably be the only ones to be able to purchase this. Because I think that they'll sell out by the time
Starting point is 00:04:09 that this is out to the public this episode. Oh, look at that. Just another reason to get people over to patreon.com. That's the basement yard. And I swear to God, this isn't a money play. We did. Like, this is the way the dates lined up. That's just the way it worked out, baby boy.
Starting point is 00:04:23 But yeah. So this is what we're going to do. By the way, I can't stop staring at it. Just give me the Frosted Confetti Cupcake. You really want the Frosted Confetti? I haven't had a pop tart in so long. Did I grab the Frosted Confetti on the first try? You did.
Starting point is 00:04:33 That's really impressive. Honestly. There's literally eight boxes, Frankie. If you can't memorize where they are, there's a problem with you. All right. Well, you know who I'm going for, baby. It might not have a Spider-Man webbing on it,
Starting point is 00:04:41 but you know I'm going to shove it down my throat. It's a very aggressive way to. Where is it? Where is it? Frankie, you could just take it off the table now. Where's that mixed berry? Wild berry. Well, I'm so excited.
Starting point is 00:04:53 We thank you guys for helping us get, you know. Yeah, seriously, guys. Let that go viral, because now we have like a lifetime supply of pop tarts. Basically, yeah. But yes, 48 is enough to last you a lifetime. Yeah, I mean, definitely. At least a month, for sure.
Starting point is 00:05:10 And who's living longer than that the way the world is going? Am I right? All right. Death. Look at these. Look at these. Oh, god.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Threes? Good source. Good sources of three B vitamins, by the way. Oh, my fucking lord. Fuck you. These are better. No, this is good. Here, you ready for this?
Starting point is 00:05:26 Oh, look at the colors. It's like I'm in a fucking 1990s Taco Bell all over again, baby. That reminds me of a cup, like an old plastic cup. The old, like, fast food cups that have like the swirly, twirly gumdrops in them. The only proper way. You ready?
Starting point is 00:05:41 Only proper way to eat. You ready? Watch this. Are you going to? OK. Well, I'm not so. I actually don't disagree with eating it that way. And then?
Starting point is 00:05:54 Because the edge is real? I'm not cool. You try to slide it off. Slide what off? You try to slide it off. What are you trying to slide off? The back. Why?
Starting point is 00:06:07 Then you have the frosted top all over itself. OK. Oh, yeah, babe. You're not a normal person. I think I'm pretty normal. I don't. Here. I'm going to throw you a slam, and you slam me a bub.
Starting point is 00:06:23 I'm going to throw you a slam, and you're going to slam me a bub? Yeah. Here. All right. I'm going to toss it. I'm not good at this. Oh, no, no. The dog.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Oh, yeah, you're right. The dog. We don't want your dog to have good sources of 3B vitamins. Wow, Barry. Mm. Pretty good. It tastes like licking the bowl. What?
Starting point is 00:06:46 After you make a cake? Oh, I see what you're saying. Mm-hmm. You know what I love licking? What are those soft little spatula things? Rubber spatulas. Right. Why are you incapable of understanding the concept of rubber spatula?
Starting point is 00:06:58 I just literally learned what they, like, the name of those things, like, recently. Because you just recently started cooking? No. I just didn't know the name. That's what, yeah, I taught you the name. You're welcome, by the way. No, I know. Oh, thank you so much for your fucking contribution, bitch.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Oh, well, you know, one day at a time, I like to make you a better person. Yeah. That's what's happening. This is... But anyway, guys... Again, we want to thank our friends over at PopTarts. We really had a great time doing this, and we're excited to see what you guys do with it.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Make sure you TikToks, pictures, tweets, the whole shebang. We want to see you guys debating with your friends and family about what you think was the better curated list. Was it mine, obviously? It is? Or was it Joe's? Definitely not. And just know, if you side with Joey, you're part of the problem.
Starting point is 00:07:43 You're part of big, big white. That's big white over there. Or you can go with, you know, the Hispanic, Greek, Colombian man. Okay. Well, I said Hispanic twice. Greek, Colombian, and Egyptian, man. I like to do things a little different. Live on the wild side.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Eat tomato, mayonnaise sandwiches. I still need you to do a 23 of me, because I want to know how much Egyptian's in there. A quarter. I will tell you. My grandfather was born in Egypt. Was he really? Yeah. A good guy?
Starting point is 00:08:10 A bad guy. You're a pretty good guy. You're grandpa? You're grandpa? Still cheated on my grandmother. No, I'm a good guy. Then he upped and dipped. Damn.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Yeah, he was like... In Egypt, he was cheating? No, no, no. Over here. Even worse. Why did he get here? Why is that worse? I feel like cheating in Egypt is worse.
Starting point is 00:08:27 No, cheating in U.S. is worse. No, dude, he was cheating in the desert. That's fucked up. I don't know. I've never been to Egypt, so I can't speak to it. I imagine that over here it's worse. He was over here. He had kids, and he was like, oh, great, great, great.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Later. I don't want to speak ill of him, because one, he's dead. Yeah. And two, his son, my half uncle, really, really great guy. Great kid. Nice family, so. Half uncle. No.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Uncle, obviously. His uncle. Is he a hunk? Is he a hot guy? Yeah, actually, he's a pretty good-looking dude. Really? Yeah, yeah. He's a pretty hot guy.
Starting point is 00:09:01 I can't... A hairy guy, probably, right? I can't confirm how much hair he has. Just common sense, though. Chest hair? Again, can't confirm, but I can imagine that he's hairy, head to toe. Is he one of those guys that, like, when he wears a watch, it's like the hair is, like, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:09:20 Like, hairy people who have hairy arms, and they wear a watch, and it, like, comes above the watch. Yes, and the hair goes over the watch. Yeah, and it's like... And you're like, what time is it? It's fucking supposed to be eight o'clock. You take the watch off, and it's like a crop circle. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:32 You're a hairy, bro. No, I don't... Honestly, I don't see him enough to comment on his arm hair. You mind if I think about this guy? Well, you know, things were a little tense for a couple years there, Joey. I'm not going to sit here and give you the whole history of my family. Get over it. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:09:49 No, no, no. I'm going to tell him that we talked about him. He's going to be like, what? I don't think he has any idea what the show is. Does he sound like that? No. You don't even know that. He also...
Starting point is 00:10:00 Here's a hot take that he has. Nice. He will swear to the day he dies that Billy Joel music is hot garbage. What? Yeah. He's a little... In that regard, complete idiot. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Complete, complete idiot. I was going to say, that's funny, his name is Elliot. He's an Egyptian named Elliot. Well, he's half. Yeah, but... What the fuck is the other half? There's Greek in there. And Irish.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Guys all over the place. My grandfather was a Greek that was born in Egypt. Oh. Yeah, bro. All right. That's it. Are you an Egyptian? That's where he was born.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Yeah, but like... You know how you were born with the silver fucking spoon in your mouth? Oh, yeah. Silver spoon. You were spoiled, bitch. Yeah, okay. Same thing. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:10:49 You still challenge that. I had one pair of shoes for like eight years that is confirmed. I had a struggle. How you doing? Good. Until I was attacked on Twitter recently. Again? Again.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Was it the Swifties this time? Oh, no. Usually I'm attacked by like... The Swifties, the Bayhive. The Bayhive got me. What were you recently saying about BTS? How much you hate them? Don't even fucking play around like that.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I'm not going against the K-pop community. I actually like BTS. Actually. Those two. Whoa. Why do you say actually like that? Because I don't know. Stop.
Starting point is 00:11:21 But why were you attacked on the internet again? Wrongfully, I will say. By the way, podcasting 101. I can't stop eating these. Yeah. Podcasting 101. Don't eat the whole time you're trying to tell a story. Like you haven't smacked gum around over there.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Smacking gum and shoving fucking confetti pop-tarts down your throat to wildly different things. Yeah. One of them's better. Anyway, so all I tweeted was yikes. And I don't remember why I tweeted that. I think it had to do with the Super Bowl. Yikes like, just the word yikes. Yikes.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Right? And then I got a tweet that said this. Oh boy, here we go. It says, me when I watch your garbage talks on circumcision where you did nothing but sit on your ass with a bunch of other dumbasses and shit brainless information, misinformation, on circumcision. Just because you're insecure and petty about the fact that you're, that circumcised men are better than you.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Wait. So that was a whole sentence. There was not one comma or a period. Wait. Circumcised men are better than you. You're circumcised. That's what I'm saying. So I was attacked by the circumcised.
Starting point is 00:12:26 By big circum. By big, yeah. By big, by big circum. By big circum. Yeah. The circumcised men of the world are coming at me, my fellow brethren. Yeah. Joey is the king of circumcision.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Yeah. I'm sick right now. Yeah. Well, literally and figuratively. That's what I'm saying. They're coming for my penis and they think that I have a hood and I don't have a hood. Oh, that would be weird because I'm like. I'm not saying that.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I'm not saying that. Joey absolutely has it. We're not talking about KKK hoods. We're not talking about that. I've seen his hood. He has it. I do not. It's right next to his upside down cross.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Upside down cross. I'm eating again. But yeah, they got upset with me. And then this wasn't the first tweet. There was another tweet where it's a different like apparently there's a movement for people or like defending circumcision. We are both circumcised. I also don't know what we said.
Starting point is 00:13:22 What did we say? Also, I think we've talked about the fact that all dicks are gross, but uncircumcised dicks are way grosser. You said that. No, you said that. I didn't say that. That was right after you said. I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:13:35 You were explaining what you would do with the homeless population in New York. Same episode. Go check it out. Episode 578. Did you ever touch a homeless person? No. Ew. It's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:13:49 The only reason why I say this is because one time we were walking around. I was like fucking 14 years old. You might have been there, but there was this kid, Mikey Moe. Remember him? We were walking. Oh yeah. Unlike Dipmars and a homeless guy who's like the king of the homeless. He was like the one.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Like the Dipmars homeless man. Yeah, he was like the king. Not the homeless woman who was the queen. No, she was the queen. She was the queen. Yeah. Had a home, but preferred the train. Yes, she did.
Starting point is 00:14:16 But she had a bathroom, preferred her pants. One time. It's funny because it's true, but we were there. Fucked up. People are not good. People are going to be upset. I feel like we're trying to fuck up this. I know.
Starting point is 00:14:35 I'm joking about homeless people. I feel bad for them. Homelessness is an obvious issue. People don't know how fucking actually like progressive minded we are. It's just we tell jokes and they're like these fucking assholes. Eight dicks. I'm going to get, I'm going to get. But when I get to, we were just walking by and no one said anything to those homeless
Starting point is 00:14:55 man. Well, but he just added nowhere went what? Yeah, that's usually how it starts. Freaked out at that kid. So I was like, I was like, what's going on? Like I was like, what the fuck? You were trying to use logic with a homeless man. I wasn't trying to use logic.
Starting point is 00:15:06 I was just trying to like diffuse the situation. I was like, hey, hey, hey, like, you know, everyone relax. And I put my hand on this man. Let me tell you this right now. Cardinal sin. This man was a next level wet. It was next level wetness. What did he smell like?
Starting point is 00:15:22 No, it didn't rain. And it was up here. I touched him on his chest. Oh, well, because I was like, guys, relax. Like I was touching. Oh, you got your peacekeeper. I was peacekeeping. You came in and you said, Mikey Moe.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Homeless man. What did you call him? Nothing. I don't know his name. Okay. All right. Careful. The king of the street.
Starting point is 00:15:41 I don't know. But like I know the street. I was trying to get between these people. I was like, hey, hey, hey, you were being the pacifist loving man that you were trying to prevent an altercation between two men in the society. And as soon as I touched a soaking wet zip up hoodie, I was like abandon ship. You said, you know, whatever happens, I literally was just like, well, just go, go, go nuts on each other.
Starting point is 00:16:08 It was like a doctor when I scrub in. I was like, well, this is, I'm done now. And I had to go wash my hands in McDonald's. Yeah. They're when I'm not the place where you want to wash your hands. No, I mean, a bathroom. People get blown in McDonald's bathrooms. Guess what?
Starting point is 00:16:21 People get blown everywhere, Joey. They get blown in regular home bathrooms, but you still wash your hands there. People get blown everywhere, dude. Yeah. People get only blown in like in private, right? No, people are doing weird stuff in public all the time too. But I'm still, that's pretty crazy that like what has happened? It's the people that don't watch our episodes that don't know how much, especially you love
Starting point is 00:16:45 dicks and what, what, well, you know, and I think, no, I don't know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't know. We're always talking about, especially you, like dicks are sweet, ugly, but you're always like such a champion for dicks. Frankie, on which episodes am I champion for dicks? 574. Haven't recorded that yet.
Starting point is 00:17:08 419. Not that either. You're getting closer. I don't know that you know what episode. 212. That was, yeah. It might be true. I don't even think you were on that episode.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Yeah, I don't think so. 253. Yeah, I think that was the first one. I think that was my first episode. Yeah. Um, no, but it's funny that people just misconstrue and think that you're like not, you know what the problem was? Cool with circumcised dicks.
Starting point is 00:17:31 You know what it was? I think that on that episode, we were talking about, uh, like if I would circumcise my son, and I was like, I don't know if I would. That's all I said. Why not? Well, because I just think that it's, I don't know, because in the moment I'd be like, my baby's born. They're like, yeah, we're going to take it in the back.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Well, yeah, it is a weird con. I don't have any biological sons, but I can, you know, imagine that it's weird that they're like, oh my God, you're beautiful baby boy. Give them to me for like 20 minutes. We're going to go give them a shake up. I'm going to go chop his fucking wiener skin off. Yeah. And that's got to be a strange thing.
Starting point is 00:18:05 How do you think they do it? Do you think they like hold it and then like, I assume they trim the hedges. Like how you make a snowflake with construction paper. You got to like, this is going to be really rad. Open it up. They use those cool scissors that have like the squiggly and then the sharp in it. You know what I'm talking about? What?
Starting point is 00:18:22 Remember in elementary school, there was that rack of scissors and each scissor had a different design. One was like squiggly. One was just like zigzag. Yeah. One was like, it was a, it was a hump and then a sharp and then a hump. I don't remember that one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:38 But I remember the one that looked like teeth and I liked to bite my finger with it. Like he's ticked a scissor and go like that. There's so much to unpack there. We don't have physically the time to do it. You've never like taken a scissor and just put it in your hand like this. Of course I have Joey. Oh, okay. I put it to my neck.
Starting point is 00:18:51 That I haven't done. Well, like I pretended to shave with it. Also haven't done that? Yeah, I've done that. Have you ever tried to shave with a knife? Yes, never worked. Ever. I've tried to shave with a knife.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Bro, these, these, all these Australian movies are lying to us through their fucking teeth. The Australians are like, if it's shop enough, you can shave a face. No, you can't. I've tried. I've tried to shave a face. I've tried with very sharp knives. I've never been able to shave my face. I really want a sword.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Like I feel like I want to do that. What kind of sword? Like a katana? Like a dangerous, yeah, like some shit, some crazy shit. You want a katana? I want something that like, I could just guide through any piece of food. It's like, there are so many. It's so funny because there was a point in time where people were posting videos of like
Starting point is 00:19:39 men of larger stature, plump boys, like doing like katana moves on like watermelons and bottles of soda in their backyard. I did see that. And meant to be like, look at these losers. And I watched it and I was like, losers. Yeah. These guys are living every fucking boys fantasy. I would like a sword, but I don't want to create sword content.
Starting point is 00:20:00 I just want it. I mean, what are you going to do with the sword? Just have it? Just cut everything I know and love and ask. But Joey, I know you, business Joe. You're going to want to film yourself cutting stuff because of how rad it's going to be. No, I'll tell you what. I did see, um, I did see this guy who I'll be honest with you even after I have an appreciation
Starting point is 00:20:20 for the things that he was doing. I still think he's a freak. Are we all nobody? He like was dressed in like, like a ninja thing. And that makes him a freak or the coolest guy on the planet. Right. When I was eight. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:35 But in his backyard, he had like a whole setup and he had like this like pole that had a target on it. He had like a bunch of poles with targets on it. And then like a thing, like a, like a scare, like a scare crow. Yeah. And he had a sword. So he'd be like, huh. And then he like throw like ninja stars and like hit these fucking things.
Starting point is 00:20:57 And I was like, yo, this is fucking sick. Absolutely. And then you cut the head off of the thing. I was like, this is kind of fire. And like, I'm watching this video going, this is dope. But if I live next door, I'd be like, what is Jerry doing? Well, or Jerry's there to protect you. You make good friends with Jerry and Jerry becomes your protector and your dark night.
Starting point is 00:21:17 I find it hard to believe that a ninja star, like a, like a, like a ninja is really going to like ward someone off. Well, let's take a trip down, you know, knowledge. Someone would have to show up with a sword. Joey. But if they have a gun, you're, what are you going to do? Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Yeah. Ninjas were popularized when guns were not fucking a thing, but you think you could see this paper thin little fucking razor blade star coming through the air before it hits you in the eyes? No. And another one I want to get good at is a couple of years ago, I actually got my father-in-law throwing knives. Why the fuck did you do that?
Starting point is 00:21:54 I got like knives, swords and guns. So I got them one. I thought it was a nice, a nice gift. What are throwing knives looking like? They're like, they have like a, like a kind of like cucumber shaped handle. Cucumber. Like dick. It's a phallic handle.
Starting point is 00:22:09 But why'd you go like this? Cucumbers don't look like yous. Well, part of them do. About cucumber? Yes, Joey. Look at a cucumber. It's a big oval. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:19 It's like this. Yes. What, what letter is that? That doesn't, that doesn't look, it looks like this. Regardless. But it had a string on the end. So you can like throw it and then fucking get it back. That'd be dangerous.
Starting point is 00:22:32 Oh. How fucking rad would that be? Oh, like, are those people who have the things and they put it under their foot and they like kick it and it's like, shing. Yes. That's exactly what it is. Yes. I, I would be, I'm first of all, not against circumcision.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Cool. But if they started doing it with like cool stuff, if they were to be like, sir, we're going to circumcise your son, we can use a switch blade from a guy dressed up like he's in the 1950s. That's a good one. We can use a ninja throwing star. That would probably be my decision. We can use a night of the rounding, a night of the round table, like broadsword, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:07 the big ones that come out and they have to hold with two hands. Yeah, I might change my answer now. You know, or, or it could be like a box cutter from someone that works at Target. You know, just like, they give you options for circumcision. Yeah. You want to try that one more time? They give you options for circumcision. I think the world would look down upon circumcised wieners with more like grace.
Starting point is 00:23:31 I don't know why that guy was attacking you as if like you don't like you are circumcised. I don't think we've ever said anything against it. Yeah. If anything, quite the opposite. I don't know. Dude, I'm fucking canceled though. But I'll tell you this in the dick world, I'm done. I'll tell you this.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Well, you've, you've been a champion of the dicks for a long time. If I got to hear that again, I will say this, if we get to a place as a, as a country, as a world where the marginalised group of people that are or are not circumcised are like the biggest priority to like defend, I will be happy if we get there. Yeah, we're not. We're not there. We're not. I didn't know that there was such a movement behind, there's a lot of movements that I'm
Starting point is 00:24:10 not aware of. Yeah. Well, people have a lot of time on their hands. By the way, you want to hear something fun? I just realized this now. Guess how I spelled circumcision. Cirque? I'm going to give you this.
Starting point is 00:24:19 I'm going to, I'm going to save you time. Is there a Z in there? I did throw a Z in there. There's a Z. I knew it. I wrote C-I-R-C-U-M, come. Got it. Uh, so that's the easy part, circum.
Starting point is 00:24:36 And then I wrote I-S-C-I-Z-I-O-N. Circumcision? I-S. Circumcision. That sounds like a spell. That definitely does. Yeah. Like from like the German Hogwarts.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Yeah. Just like walked up. Where's my fucking ... Where are some like German like, what was the guys name Victor Krumm from the game from a fire? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He walks up and he's like, I gotta tie me up. I had a good decision.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Oh, thank you for the visual. I had to do it. He wanted so badly. I would never not act out Harry Potter if I have the opportunity. Need you and the people that watch this to know that. Freaky, I know. Okay. Um, but yeah, you're, you're canceled in the eyes of people whose dicks have been chopped off and also not chopped off.
Starting point is 00:25:26 So 50% of the population. My brother and Christ, we both don't have hoods. I'm technically on your team, whether I like it or not. If you were to go back to like time travel as a baby and go, I'm good. No, no, no, you were to time travel and you can go back and like be in the room when you are born, like your mom is out there. Just like, you know, given birth to you, your dad is there. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Your dad's there. Would you tell them like, maybe don't do this. Like, let's see what life of privilege he lives. If I was a baby and I just, I just stopped the doctor's hand. No, no, like you as an adult can stop, like tell your parents, like this is me from the future. Oh, I just need you to know, like maybe let them live a life with a, you know, with the hood, let them go through some trouble, trials and tribulations. You know, there's more nerve endings in certain uncircumcised cocks.
Starting point is 00:26:19 So they had, they sex feels better for them. They have, they have more nerve. Whoa, hold on. So they're taking, yeah, this is some shit. Yeah. And so these doctors took away your right to orgasm. I definitely orgasmed. But not twice, but not like, like, not as hard as an uncircumcised weiner.
Starting point is 00:26:36 I guess so. I never. Yeah. So vaginas have even more than that. Yeah. Well, vagina, we know that it's like the quantum realm in there. No one has really figured it out. No, but they, they are, they are orgasming hard those three times in their life that they usually do.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Women? Yeah. Yeah. Are you speaking from? I'm talking about, yeah, I'm speaking for women. Okay. I just wanted to make sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Um, I didn't, I didn't know that. Yeah. So guys that have, all right. So I guess that's the, like they have an uglier dick, but they get to come harder. Yeah. It's okay. It's a trade off. One of them.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Yeah. I mean, hold on. Nerve endings in dicks. Foreskin. Foreskin. That's the, that's what it's called. That's what they cut it off. That's not helping.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Well, the foreskin has more nerve rings than the glands or sensitive tip of the penis. And it's removal decreases sensitivity to touch. So yeah. So I thought there was going to be like a number. Yeah. Like 100. Yeah. 100, 200.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Foreskin is eight, regular dick is three. Yeah. Damn. So what, what have we not? So we have, our dicks are just more numb. So you know what we need as we're, as we've been lining up correspondence for the show, we need an uncircumcised correspondent to really understand what their winner is like. But how can they describe what orgasms are like?
Starting point is 00:28:04 It's like, we only like, all right. So then we need, I'm going to ask you a question real quick, but we're going to get to these ads, weird transition. But what are you going to do? Today's first sponsor for today is HelloFresh. HelloFresh is America's number one meal kit delivery service. They will bring pre-portioned ingredients right to your front door with seasonal recipes. You can go on their site, you pick out whatever you want.
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Starting point is 00:29:34 Have some fun. Have some food. It is amazing folks. And next year we have a honey. This episode is sponsored by honey. The easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer. Okay. Thanks to honey manually, manually searching for coupons is a thing of the past.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Okay. Honey is free. And it's a tool that scours the internet for promo codes and sales and things like that and it automatically applies it to your cart. It's amazing. I have it on every single computer or anything that I have because if you're doing online shopping, especially around like the holidays or people's birthdays or this and that and you just start shopping, this thing pops up and it goes, oh,
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Starting point is 00:30:23 You just activate it on Safari on your phone and you save on the go. So there you go folks. If you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this show. So get PayPal honey for free at joinhoney.com slash basement. That is joinhoney.com slash basement. Go save money. Don't be crazy.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Don't be dumb. You could be saving. You can have some more money in your pocket. All right. So get to it folks. And then guys, we brought it up at the beginning of the show. We're going to always bring up baby. Patreon.com slash the basement yard is the best and most fun and most rewarding way
Starting point is 00:31:00 to support the show outside of, you know, just being here and cheering us on. Just like our live studio audience that's here today. Clap it up. It's just the dog. Yeah. So Patreon.com slash the basement yard is where you can get more of us and us sooner. If you like when people prematurely come, well, guess what? The basement yard will prematurely come all over your podcast week.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Oh my God. It's sort of pet block. I feel like you shouldn't have said that. Yeah. Cut that out. No, we're not going to cut it out. Okay. I'm going to take it from the top.
Starting point is 00:31:35 No, you're not. You're not the basement yard. Right. You're really good. You're dumb. Just go to Patreon.com. You're talking about pre-come. Well, you know, that's where they could sign up for that first year and get these
Starting point is 00:31:46 weekly episodes a week in advance. Stop doing it. They'll plug and then those Fridays with that second year. That's where they really get the good shot up. That's where you really get it up about what? Patreon.com slash the basement yard where we're continuously climbing records and breaking, uh, no, climbing rankings and breaking records. Climaxing.
Starting point is 00:32:04 You know, climax premature ejaculation. It's all about Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Climax. Did I really? Are you really upset at me about that? What? What? I know about what seeing you were going to pre-cut.
Starting point is 00:32:18 What would you say? I didn't say I was. I said we are. That makes it better that we're tandem coming right now. No, I'm saying like, do you think? Hold on. Do you think you had something you wanted to say? I know, but forget about that.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Okay, do you think at any point in our lives that we've ever like simultaneously at the exact same moment came? I sure hope so. Why do what? You hope that we have. I do think by chance, I would, I mean, the chances are quite slim. They're low, but they're not zero. I mean, nothing we could have come at the same time and never known about like across
Starting point is 00:32:55 like the world, you know what I mean? Like you could have been like coming in New York and I could have been in Jersey and like it could have just been like at the moment, like we had like an out of body experience like when people are like staring at the moon, it's like, oh, we're staring at the moon at the same time. We should do that. Stare at the moon or? Well, no, not the moon part, but like try to coordinate a come.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Yeah, just be like, ready, set, two minutes, go. I don't, well, you'll have an, you know, a minute and a half to, you know, just not do anything and I'll have to speed it up. You feel good? You got that out of your system. I'm glad. I'm glad you feel good. I did.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Stupid fuck. Yeah, I don't think. What about sneezing at the same time? Maybe. I don't know. That's not as cool as I sneezed a bunch last night. Past tense sneeze. No, no, no, you're right.
Starting point is 00:33:49 You're right. Past tense of sneeze is sneeze. Yeah, I saw that you sneeze like eight times last night or something like that. My dog was pissed. Quite, I was pissed when I read it. We have a, we have a two sneeze rule. So many people hit me up, by the way, and they were like, they said this for women, I guess they were like, other people speaking for women, women speaking for women.
Starting point is 00:34:10 They were like, uh, did you orgasm? Like mad people say that. I was like, what is this joke? There's like, no, that's not a joke. No, but they were like women. If they sneeze eight times, it's like having an orgasm. I'm like, what? What I've heard, I've heard that it's just if you sneeze eight times in a row, it's
Starting point is 00:34:24 like a fraction of what an orgasm feels like or something like that. Really? But I hate sneezing. I don't hate orgasms. I love orgasms. So I would assume that the more I sneeze, the more angry I would get. In my house, we have a two sneeze rule. You have a rule.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Sneeze the one time. God bless you. You sneeze the second time. Say, okay, more than that. You say, enough. So you only give people one sneeze to get God bless you'd. Yeah. Because all of the other sneezes are like, they've been blessed already.
Starting point is 00:34:53 I'll say God bless you. Then I'll give you a bless you. Then the third one, I go, okay, bless you. Like I'll put it all. Okay. Serious. The fourth one, I won't say anything. And then I'll wait until this fucking charade is over.
Starting point is 00:35:06 And then I'll go, what was that? I, it's my personal nightmare. I went to college with a kid who Joey without hyperbole pretending cameras are off. I would tell the story the same way. He machine gun sneezed. I had one point. I swear to God. I was like, I need to leave the room.
Starting point is 00:35:23 I couldn't, I couldn't deal with it. You see, well, I know how you sneeze actually, but like people who sneeze and they just keep it in, bro, boss. Yeah, bro, we were out at a Yankee game once and he was like, oh, I gotta sneeze. I was like, all right, you know, whatever, let it fly. And he goes, and I was like, did you just kill like you could you just probably like blew a fucking blood vessel in your vein or people who hold their nose.
Starting point is 00:35:45 I'm like, bro, you're gonna, you're going to die. Yeah. There's something that's going to happen to you. Don't do that. Yeah. It's like when fucking UFC fighters like blow their nose and their eye pops out. I imagine that's what happens when you fucking hold in a sneeze too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, or it comes out your butt.
Starting point is 00:36:01 No, if you just swallow the sneeze and then it like the air travels through you. First of all, a sneeze is an air that is. Nope, it's not. Yes. Air comes out. Have you ever sneezed in your hand? Yes, I have sneezes in my hand. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Don't look at me like I'm crazy. You know you have, but sneezes isn't air. They're pushing the air out like a burp is air. That's gas. What's gas? Gas air. No, air is gas, but not all gas is air. Gas is air.
Starting point is 00:36:32 No, what? How can gas not be air? It's just air. It's a gas because air is like what's around us. It's it's it's air adjacent. It's a cousin of air. I wouldn't say that because there are gases that are certainly not air. What?
Starting point is 00:36:46 Sulphur. Why is that not air? Also not a gas. I think what we think when we say air, we're talking oxygen. No, I'm talking about all air. So so methane is air. That's a gas. I found a gas.
Starting point is 00:37:02 It's a kind of air. No, it's not. Air is a kind of gas. Yeah, it's frogs and toads, Joey. This is frogs and toads. First of all, you're talking about just oxygen. What about, wait, hold on, never mind. What about hydrogen?
Starting point is 00:37:13 Yeah, that's that's a gas, not an air. If there's a hydrogen in the air, guess what? You would be. I'm googling because you're a bitch is gas air. Air is gas. Gas is not air. Air is, oh, please tell me I'm right. Air, it says air is mostly gas.
Starting point is 00:37:31 It's a mixture of different gases. Yes, exactly. The air in the Earth's atmosphere is made up of approximately 78% nitrogen and 21% oxygen. So the air is technically more nitrogen than oxygen. You stupid whore. But air is made up of gases. So if you take the gases out of air, it's not air anymore, but gases is not made of air. A collection, they're not the same thing.
Starting point is 00:37:51 It's frogs and toads, Joey, frogs and toads. Wait, we'll say that one more time. If you take the gas out of air, then we don't have air. Then we don't have air. Air is oxygen gas. Yes, that's air, but not, not like other ones. Whom it's not the air that we is like oxygen, nitrogen. And it said the atmosphere, by the way, it said the atmosphere, Joey, we're not in the atmosphere.
Starting point is 00:38:18 We are in the ground. No, we're not. Yes, we is. No, we're not. There's different levels. Atmosphere. No, this is the atmosphere. Stratosphere.
Starting point is 00:38:26 I'm the atmosphere, right? Yeah. My arms are the atmosphere. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Joey, the atmosphere is up there. I know, but this is what I'm saying. This is the atmosphere, right? It's a bubble.
Starting point is 00:38:36 It's a bubble. It's a bubble. It's a shield. It is a shield. So a thinning, real thinning. It's actually coming back. OK. But once you get past, you're in the atmosphere.
Starting point is 00:38:49 You're in the John Mayer song in your atmosphere. It's all right. That's a great song. No, it's not. I. The atmosphere is up there, like the stratosphere and the other spheres. What is the stratosphere? It's a part of the atmosphere. It's like layers.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yeah, but which one's higher? Is the stratosphere inside of us? I think the highest is the inside and outside. Because at is at the top at the most. At the atmosphere at most. At most. And stratosphere is like it's a strategic bubble. It's like we're here.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Like we're like it's a strategy. Yes, yes, that's right where, you know. I don't know. Yo, where is the stratosphere? There's layers. How do I how do I stratosphere? Layers of atmosphere. Yo, we're so stupid, but it's OK.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Oh, oh, oh, wait, I got pictures, babe. This is how. Yeah, I think I actually have the picture that you're going to show me. It framed in my basement. Oh, hold on. There's a lot of words here. Yeah, there's like mesosphere. What's it?
Starting point is 00:39:44 Yes. Yeah. What is that? Where the where the Mesopotamians lived? Yeah, I think so. Meso Mesa Table. It's a table. Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Stratosphere. Oh, this may be. That's where Tristratus lives. Right. Stratopause. That's when Tristratus goes through menopause. Yeah. And then there's a troposphere.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Well, because of tropical tropical. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of tropes. Where's oh, this is it. OK. None of those say atmosphere. What is the fucking atmosphere? I think the atmosphere is the collection of the sphere. Oh, it's maybe it's all that.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Oh, it is. I got you. So we are the atmosphere, you idiot. No, no, no, no. This is a very bad conversation. This is really horrible. No, this is what. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:40:31 People don't know that there's a bunch of ladies. I think this is what people need to understand about us. This is how the real American human brain works. We talk as if we know exactly what we're doing. Yes. Then we look it up. Right. And then we refuse to read it because there's
Starting point is 00:40:44 a lot of big words. And then we admit that we're dumb. Right. The American way, baby. Exactly. US&A. I will say this. The troposphere, right?
Starting point is 00:40:53 That's that's zero feet. Boom. Where we are. The crust. Where we are. The mantle. The where. No, now you're getting into others.
Starting point is 00:41:00 I know, but I'm not. I'm saying whatever we're standing on right now. The mantle. Right. OK, whatever. We're standing on that. That's the troposphere. What's outside the mantle of the crust?
Starting point is 00:41:08 We can't go far down now. Then it's the stratosphere. So that's where you've got the Chinese weather balloons. You've got jets, stuff like that. You have, you know, Survivor Series 2002 versus Jazz Tristratus. That's enough. Then you have the mesosphere. The mesosphere.
Starting point is 00:41:29 What's it? Mesosphere. Mesosphere. That's where the Mesopotamians live. Right. It's a mess. And then you have the thermosphere. The thermos.
Starting point is 00:41:40 Where's the aurora? Aurora borealis. Aurora. I've never seen aurora borealis. We've got to go to Iceland so we can see the aurora. And we can go and sit in those big old mud baths. Oh, oh yeah. Or like the.
Starting point is 00:41:53 They're like jacuzzi's of mud. Yeah, yeah. And then you get the aurora borealis. Then it's the exosphere. So that's like external. Exo. X, like the X, like X go and give it to you. Like DMX.
Starting point is 00:42:05 DMX-osphere. Yeah, so that's like where the space station is. Yeah, that's where all of those are. Fun fact, that's where he is now because DMX. Died. Yeah. But yeah, so that's the atmosphere. And then what was the outest one?
Starting point is 00:42:19 Exosphere. That was the exit. Like you're exiting. Exiting out of the. Like please exit stage left on the sphere. Get out of the sphere. Gotcha. But yeah, that's that.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Not to take away from the fact that gas is air. No, well, I think I'm right and you're wrong. But I'm not really confident in my side. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the basement of our pockets. Where else can you get these compositions that are this confident, but also stupid? Where else? Nowhere.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Fuck, I think you might be right. Joey, you don't need to tell me I'm right. I'm an American. I was born right. What? OK. But I don't. What is air, though?
Starting point is 00:42:59 Air is a collection of gases that are allowed to breathe. OK, I just read that to you. Don't fucking do that. I knew that from the start. All right. I think it's like what we can breathe. So like what air is to fish is water. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Is it? Oh, is air? Air is relative. Is it? It's like happiness and sexy. That's it. What? Like what's sexy to you is not sexy to me.
Starting point is 00:43:24 OK, you're off. You're on. But I'm off. It's relative. Hold on. Oxygen is our air. Oxygen is a real thing. But H2O is.
Starting point is 00:43:34 That's water. Is that their air? That's fish's air. Or do they call it water? It's like, yeah, this is our water. But that water is their air. They don't call it anything because they're fish. Very dumb.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Got it. That's their air. And then like what's air for like? Do they think it's air? That's in their head. They're like, yo, we need this to breathe. Yeah. That's why they need to breathe.
Starting point is 00:43:52 They breathe in the gills with the water. Yes. Yeah. That's what I mean. But wait, are they getting the oxygen? Wait, maybe they're getting oxygen, too. Just like anything else is a man-made concept that we just assigned.
Starting point is 00:44:08 So to us, air is different. Air is different. Does any other animal breathe anything else? Yeah, this is so fucking stupid. Oh, trees! Carbon? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Starting point is 00:44:20 Yeah, they take in carbon dioxide. They take in carbon dioxide. So that's quite annoying, I have to say. So they have a, so their air is our negative air. Is our bad air. Our air's adversary. There's three airs. There's three airs.
Starting point is 00:44:36 You ready? Our arch nemesis air for the trees. I really hope. Some of this is like Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh, he's like physics. I would love to have him on the show as he would walk out. I'd be like, yo, what's fucking air, bro? Oh my god, we need to get him on.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Yeah, good luck. I'm reaching out to him, literally. Although, although, he is from the Bronx. He is from the Bronx. So he might want to come. And we just prepare a couple of questions for him. A couple. He's never going to be able to explain anything.
Starting point is 00:45:03 The guy's going to walk out of here. Yeah, he will not stay. He'll have some like cool tie with like Saturn on it or something stupid. Yeah. Air. There's three airs. There's oxygen, like what we breathe.
Starting point is 00:45:17 There's carbon dioxide with the trees breathe. Yeah. And there's water. And there's water. Like with the fish breathe. Yes. And then that's why. Space, no air.
Starting point is 00:45:25 No air. None. But maybe no air is somebody's air. Like an alien's air. Like maybe aliens. Maybe aliens air is space. And maybe if the aliens were breathing in our air, it would be like they can't breathe.
Starting point is 00:45:41 Like war the world. Because we need no air. Like war the world when they come here and they instantly die from our like measles and mumps. I haven't seen the movie in a long time. Is that time for? Signs with water. Water.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Yeah. So the fish air hurt them. So fuck, you just blew my mind. There's other forms of air we don't know of. Yeah. Like the absence of air is someone's air. That's someone's air. Well, maybe.
Starting point is 00:46:04 No, yeah. Oh, all right. Alien air is not our air. Different air. But air is just what you can breathe. I'm kidding. This is blowing my goddamn mind right now. Air is just what you can breathe.
Starting point is 00:46:15 Air is relative. It's not oxygen. It's like to us, it's oxygen. Yes. But to the fish, it's water. Like if you were like, you know how they say like yeast survives off sugar? Who says that?
Starting point is 00:46:29 Bakers? Like what the fuck are you talking about? Yes, bakers and people that make beer. I don't know any bakers. Well, yeast survives. It eats sugar. So like yeast's air is sugar. It needs it to survive.
Starting point is 00:46:41 OK. Oh, no. No, no, no. That's food, though. You're talking about air. Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess you're right. All right, the backtrack.
Starting point is 00:46:47 But forget I said that. Strike that from the record. Strike that from the record. Edit that out. Josh, don't leave the yeast in. Honestly, when you were saying yeast, though, that it eats sugar, I was like, oh, does that mean that like when women have yeast infections?
Starting point is 00:47:00 That means that they because they're shoving candy in their munt. No, that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that there's no way that it would taste sweet. No, I think I heard a story once that someone made like bread with their vagina yeast. We do have more sponsors, actually.
Starting point is 00:47:20 We do, though. We do. Oh, my God. Get her name. All right, so we have more sponsors. The first one being PrizePix. OK, you want to have fun daily? Let's have some fun here.
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Starting point is 00:48:53 instant deposit match up to $100. And go play some PrizePix, OK? It's a lot of fun. Pick all these sports. You're just doing these projections. You're fighting the projections. It's a lot of fun. And lastly here, we have Etsy.
Starting point is 00:49:07 We love Etsy on this show. That's where I'll do a lot of shopping. You could buy anything on this site. You could buy cool accessories. You could buy jewelry. You could buy furniture. You could buy paintings, whatever you want. It's for all budgets, all occasions, whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:49:19 You guys can go get whatever you want on Etsy. It's amazing. I've made a video on it before. And there's, like I said, legit anything you want. And there's high quality stuff. And the shipping is also pretty good as well. So if you're new to Etsy, use the code NEW for 10% off of your first purchase.
Starting point is 00:49:35 That's code NEW. Maximum discount value of $50. Offer ends June 30, 2023. See terms at etsy.com slash terms for home style and gifts shop etsy.com. Etsy has it, OK? Also, my mom loves Etsy. So anytime I need to buy a gift for her, her birthday is
Starting point is 00:49:54 coming up in a couple months, Etsy is going to wear. I'm going to get in that from clothing, furniture, art, whatever you want. Go get it at Etsy. It's amazing. Everyone knows it. It's amazing. Have fun.
Starting point is 00:50:05 But yeah, that's that on that. OK. Also, we have to get off air because I'm going to have a nosebleed thinking about that. What? The air thing is really. Oh, yeah. That actually, we have to get off that.
Starting point is 00:50:16 Patreon.com has a base video. I'm not going to tell you about how we're going to prematurely do anything. Go check it out. Support us. And then while we're doing that, from February 12, 2020. What are you doing? British blogger Zoe Stavry stirred up the internet by
Starting point is 00:50:30 baking a sourdough bread using her vaginal yeast infection. She took the internet by storm by sharing every small detail of preparing the dough. She made the bread by extracting the yeast infection using a dildo. So she had a yeast infection. She had a yeast infection. And she was like, I'm going to dildo this.
Starting point is 00:50:48 She's going to use. This is the entrepreneurial mindset that people have. It's like, all right, let's turn a negative into a positive. What was that when you were listening to those podcasts? What do they say? Like synergy. Do it. What the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:51:05 She took a negative situation, turned it into big pause. It did. And made a sourdough bread, which by the way, sourdough, great bread. Would you eat it? Would I eat sourdough bread? Or would I eat her? Her sourdough bread.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Yeah, her yeast pussy bread. No, I wouldn't either. I wouldn't either. But she said that she tasted it and it was incredible. Yeah, but. I wouldn't do that. Also, why? I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Is that actually the same yeast? I mean, it's called a yeast infection. I assume that it has the properties of yeast. Isn't yeast like a bacteria? I know that it helps dough rise. That's all I know. Well, no, let me back up. Yeast is a bacteria that feeds off of sugars, I believe,
Starting point is 00:51:54 in order to kind of like just start like some chemical reactions and stuff. It pushes the bread up. But also it's in beer. That's right. It turns the sugar in whatever that is being made, I think in the hops, to alcohol. I don't think you're right.
Starting point is 00:52:13 I think I might. Or the malt. I think we're just saying buzz words at this point. No, I think I'm right somewhere in there. I would not taste that. No, yeah, I don't know if I could eat your pussy bread. If the person was my wife and she had made like a seeded Italian roll, I'd be like, hold on a sec.
Starting point is 00:52:30 So you would eat an Italian pussy bread? Why do you got to put it like that, Joey? This is what we're talking about. It doesn't help that she's British. Why does that not help? Because British people, good. Tell you, I don't even know what you're going to say. You know, nope.
Starting point is 00:52:47 If you were to eat a pussy bread? No, if you were to like, tomorrow. Remember how I said you would taste like a fucking street pigeon? Yes, you did say that. I don't think British people would taste good at all. They're vaginas? I'm not saying that.
Starting point is 00:53:05 I'm saying like them, just them. So if you were to eat a British person. It's like a boiled chicken breast, you know what I mean? OK. They've only gone out and done stuff in the world. You're just talking about white people. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:17 Yeah. So you're tastest. That's a new word. Never thought of that one. Yeah, I don't know. I guess. Oh, I got called ableist recently, too. Are you just getting beaten up by the internet?
Starting point is 00:53:31 I think so. Yeah, people are not happy with you. They were unhappy. Some people were unhappy because I made a video on youtube.com slash JoeSanagow. I made a video about conspiracy theories. And one of them was that Helen Keller wasn't real, which is like insane.
Starting point is 00:53:44 But people were upset, I guess, that I was like, because apparently she wrote 14 books. And I was like, how did she write books? And how did she learn how to read it right? And then people were like, this is just ableist. Obviously, people who have disabilities are able to do things. And I'm like, yeah, I know that.
Starting point is 00:54:05 But I must pretend that it's not shocking. They have a disability, disabled, not able, but somehow can still do it. I'm supposed to go, yeah, it's shocking. It is shocking. And I think the point that you were trying to drive home in that video that I saw, because it was a good video on JoeSanagow YouTube.
Starting point is 00:54:25 That means that he hasn't seen it. No, yeah, absolutely. The video that I saw that was really good, by the way. It was like, you were impressed. Yeah, that's an impressive thing. She flew a fucking plane, dude. Listen, we're not saying that, like, how dare he. First of all, there are plenty of things
Starting point is 00:54:43 that you can attack Joey for. Just hit me up. I'll tell you all of them. Thank you for jumping in the grave with me, because you're like, we're not saying that. It was just me. I'm fucking going down with the shit, baby. Absolutely, you know I'm down with the sickness with you.
Starting point is 00:54:54 OK. It's impressive. It doesn't mean that we're, like, shocked. Like, they should. It's like, wow, that's. And then people, there weren't their comments that were like, you know, there are other people that have done this. And it's like, yeah, also.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Didn't know that, yeah, by the way. Also, very impressive. You know what I, you know, we just had a whole conversation about what air is and what the fucking atmosphere was. And we were wrong on all accounts. And you know what just happened the other day? I was talking to someone from Australia.
Starting point is 00:55:23 And they told me. And I don't know why, but. Why were you talking to someone from Australia? I was doing this podcast. It's called, there's a group in Australia. These three dudes called Sushi Man. Did you do it at like 3 AM? No, I did it at 6 PM, which was 10 AM for them.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Crazy. The next day. So, but I was talking to them. And they were asking me questions. And I was like, oh yeah, the neighborhood that the studio is in, there's a lot of Hasidic Jewish people. And then they said where they are, there's a lot of that also.
Starting point is 00:55:52 And that was the first time, for some reason. This is how stupid I am. Yeah, you were dumb. I was like, oh my God, there's Hasidic Jewish people in Australia. Yeah. I just didn't think, I don't know why, but I didn't think that could happen.
Starting point is 00:56:05 I'll tell you why. Stupid. You grew up in a box, Joey. I did not. You grew up in a box. You have not seen another. It's just not something I've considered. I mean, no, yes, I understand it.
Starting point is 00:56:15 It's just, it's like, yes, if someone were to say, hey, are there Hasidic Jewish people in Australia, you'd say, yeah. But then when you hear confirmation, you're like, oh yeah, you know, like it's just, yeah, it's just, it's different. Let me tell you another thing I thought of the other day. Do you think any birds can fly from here to like Europe?
Starting point is 00:56:37 Nah, how would they do that? I don't know, you sit in the water and for a little bit. Sit in the water, you're bait at that point in time. You know all the stuff that's under the ocean, Joey? I know, but like it's only for a second. Nah, it's like they stay in their country. New York pigeons ain't going anywhere else. I'm telling you that.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Dude, don't they fly south? That's mad far. No, bro, pigeons are always in New York. No, birds fly south for the winter. They've stopped. They gave up on it. Joey, every single day there are birds by me. And there have been since I've moved there.
Starting point is 00:57:07 But that's the thing, birds migrate. They tell you that. Big Bird wanted you to be convinced. Big Bird? We know who's leading. It's Big Bird from Sesame Street. He's been selling us out there. Big Bird has been leading the charge
Starting point is 00:57:22 and trying to convince you that they dip. They don't. There have been all types of birds and geese by me the whole winter and it has been like that. Every winter I've been alive. Bro, no, birds fly south. They tell you that. They don't do it.
Starting point is 00:57:35 What would be the point of telling us that? What's the conspiracy? Because then when they send the birds that are drones, they're like, oh, they're still here. I guess they stopped because of global warming. Because birds aren't real and they're trying to convince the world that global warming isn't real. So they keep them around and say, oh, they're not going
Starting point is 00:57:52 because of global warming, but they're the drones that are watching us. No, dude. This is not true. I'm on Google. Oh, and Google's right all the time. Oh, you're worse than Google. I'm not worse than Google.
Starting point is 00:58:03 I'm way smarter. Birds that nest in the northern hemisphere tend to migrate northward in the spring. Tend. Doesn't mean they will. Hold on. To take advantage of the insect populations, budding plants, and an abundance of nesting locations,
Starting point is 00:58:16 as winter approaches and the availability of insects and other food drops, the birds move south again. Oh. Oh, maybe they're saying southern birds are the horse. They're the ones that go down. They're the snowbirds. They come up when it's convenient, but then they go back to the house.
Starting point is 00:58:38 They're snowbirds, just like those other rich white people in New Jersey that go down to fucking Boca Raton just for the months of November to March. Well, no, this would be the opposite. This would be like people who live in Miami. It's the general concept, Joey. But it's never winter there. Why would they?
Starting point is 00:58:54 But it's hurricane season. Hurricane season's their winter. Hot as fuck there. Yeah, they come back. They come back in the. Yeah, they want hot-town summer in the city. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, and then another thing.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Give me another. The Tubi commercial. Yeah, you were attacked. Why did I get? What is going on with me? You were attacked. I'm not going to bring up some. I'm just a boy.
Starting point is 00:59:15 You are a boy. What happened with that? You told me. So there was an article written by someone that said you along, because the viral commercial from that Tubi had put on during the Super Bowl, it seemed like someone was switching the channel. Yeah, changing the channel.
Starting point is 00:59:29 And jokingly, people were like, it scared the shit out of me. You. Oh, I was dead serious. I literally was like, go. It's like, who the fuck is changing the channel? Well, someone had posted. I'm not going to put the trigger words that they had included in there,
Starting point is 00:59:42 but they had blown it way out of proportion. Because of something I said? Yeah. Wait, this whole thing was written about me? Not about you, but you were a part of it. Yeah, you were a part of it. And my tweet was, when that Tubi commercial came on, I yelled at every single person in this room.
Starting point is 00:59:56 And I got tweets from people being like, are you proud of this? And I was like, what? Bro. I was like, what are you talking about? It's like, wow, you act like a child. You're proud of this? I was like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:00:06 Bro, because there is no, listen, in the age that we currently live in where there is the absolute most availability to knowledge, we have lost all sense of context. Dude. So as we have all this knowledge, we have lost the ability to look at something and see other than exactly what it is.
Starting point is 01:00:21 And people saw that and were like, oh my god, Joe is tweeting that he's going to fucking yell at his family. Well, no, it was people that I don't fucking know or don't I know. I know, but that's the point is that they see it. It's so weird. People are stupid. That's what I've been.
Starting point is 01:00:34 Also, yeah, I am proud. If I'm watching the Super Bowl and someone grabs the controller and puts on fucking 2B, I'm going to come over. I didn't start swinging a bat, which I would have. He would have, absolutely. I've seen him do it. And also, I remember Pete was there. And he was going, it's a commercial.
Starting point is 01:00:49 It's a commercial. So then I got progressively more angry because of Pete. No, I thought that he was like, I'm going to change this because it is a commercial. And I was going to go, I don't fucking care. You want to see the commercial? Go back to the game. And then you looked at Pete's sweet eyes
Starting point is 01:01:03 and you saw that he's a very good looking boy. That's not what happened. But then he was just, yeah. Then he was like, no, it's a commercial. I was like, oh, these fucks. Yes, these fucks. 2B, which by the way, what the fuck is that? Don't do not ask me.
Starting point is 01:01:22 I have no idea what it is. It's like the show Burn Notice. Tell me one person that has seen it, one person that knows what it's about. Didn't even know that was a thing. There you go. But it's crazy because a commercial for this that got everyone talking, I still don't know what it is.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Yeah, me neither. Is it like a channel service? Yes. I don't know. But yes. But I don't know. You keep saying yes. But I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:42 I know. But it is. But I have no clue. That seems to be a trend on this show. Fuck you. Thank you. FAlvors8085 on Twitter. I can tell when you're ready to end.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Be Frank Alvors on all the forums and social media. And then again, thank you for all the love we've been getting on Patreon. We keep climbing those ranks and we want to keep doing it. We'll keep giving you guys fun stuff and reasons to keep going to patreon.com. That's our base vinyard. Thank you for the love.
Starting point is 01:02:10 We're going to keep crushing it with your help. So thank you guys. Patreon.com. That's our base vinyard. Joe, yeah, go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.
Starting point is 01:02:21 See you next time.

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