The Basement Yard - #395 - Is A Taco A Sandwich?

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

Joe and Frank have the age old debate! Taco......sandwich? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the patreon Frank. How's it going? We're not even on the patreon. What am I saying? What the fuck is wrong with you? Welcome back to the basement yard. I will get to the basement yard Yeah, this isn't the patreon. I just basement although technically No, we're gonna get technical here. No, we're not This is our patreon for like people that are don't confuse people You are starting early with the Hawaiians baby baby Baby, baby, baby. Everyone's baby. Are they I am a big proponent of calling friends, baby, baby

Because text baby a lot to our friends Fucking not me I'll hit you up like sub slut. Hey That's what I get. Well, sometimes you text me at the weirdest times like when like Exactly fuck you. I just fucking debunked Fuck you No, I think baby and like real like signs of affection because toxic masculinity

Good say it again. Say the word Toxic. Yeah, I got the egg. What's going on? You said mass urinary Why do you have the hiccups? Who you dreaming about? Oh my god, you hiccup like Pinocchio Like a cartoon over there. What is that? Are you kidding me with this? Why you hiccuping like this? I'm gonna get you have champagne for breakfast Dude, this is not a normal frequency of hiccuping like this is a I'm gonna get rid of it that doesn't work

How much The trick is it's always worked for me you suck in not a hiccup That's not that was a hiccup you suck in hold suck in hold suck in hold suck in hold as much as you can and then you Out of your bloody mouth ready go Okay You don't have to do that with your shoulders Like They're gone they are gone, okay, they are gone as I was saying

Toxic masculinity is out. Yeah, you're trying to bring it back, but I'm saying no more I'm not bringing it back. You're right. You you said it never left. I don't Think it's like inappropriate to be like super like affectionate with your boys. They're right. So like baby I love you, you know, baby kisses and hugs Let's redefine masculinity and male friendships. Do people XOXO anymore? I have a family friend who that's her like calling card. She's she's exoing XOX socks It sucks. No, it's just OX actually ox Oh, like an ox she like she'll see and you know her from the lake

She'll see like a picture of the kids or like a picture of like me and Becca And she'll just oh bro if I show you my messages from her. It's just ox ox's fucking straight down hugs and kisses Which one are hugs? I think hugs are oh because they're more Circular boom and then a kiss is like you got to hit this X on the side No, not like that. Yeah X marks the spot kiss on the spot. That's the spot ellipse or the spot Some people would say there are other spots that yeah, they're a little south Because that's spot. There's this X spot. There's a G spot. There's all towards. Oh, that's right but

Yeah, I like babe. I love you. I every time I leave here every time you say I love you I say I love you and you begrudgingly say it back. Yeah. Yes I don't know why because it's uncomfortable for you. It's not uncomfortable. I'm just not used to it. I guess You're not you guys. I love you hard in your house like whenever you would hang out with your brother Oh, so you're saying like there was a knot you didn't get I love you'd from your parents No, they would but it you guys do it like When like every time you hang up the phone. Yes, like we don't we never did that really no now we're big lovers Not like to get you know what I mean. Yeah

Like in a culty no stop what you're doing My words got the best of me there and I apologize to who you and them Okay, no one else in here. Yeah, I know so Hey You said you wanted to ask. Yes, I did. I saw something that I wanted to ask you. Okay, because you know me Yeah, I Scour the world in order to bring quality come say what you have to don't even say this What are you saying? What do you mean? Why scour the world for quality content?

Is that what you're gonna say to bring it to you and to the masses? Okay? And I saw a question that I really wanted to ask you about okay now We're big. We're big sandwich fans here big big sandwich fan. What's your ultimate sandwich build your ultimate sandwich right now? I'm not gonna get into this argument with you I know we're not arguing on what the sandwich is because you make fun of my prosciutto sandwich all the time I I think it's good. I just think that like it's there's not enough. There's a lot on it I would eat it. I'm let me tell you something right now. I know you would because you're a fat slob No one needs to humble him every now and then fat slob

What is my ultimate sandwich I don't even know it's got to have like chicken on it And it's got to be like when you go like this. It's got to be juice. It's got to be just fat and wet like a wet Oh, yeah, I'm spitting at me. Oh, okay. Yeah in your mouth. Whoa, what? I was spitting in your mouth. I just like get it all over my hand You want you want a messy? I love when you have a messy sandwich and it like sticks to your hand and rolls down this way. I absolutely despise that Why would you like oh, I like you like getting sauce on your arm? I don't like it, but I like it because I you know like it's a it's a telltale sign of a quality juicy fucking meat boy

You know what I'm saying? Okay, when I take a bite of it like a burger and it's just fucking just like pissing down my arm That literally has never happened to me really burgers pissing down my own good I hate when you eat a saucy sandwich and when you take a bite the whole sandwich kind of like slides out the back And then I mean just bread. Yes, I hate that red will never line up. Oh my god slippery and slick I don't like that. I hate that I that's why sometimes I'll put like my hand on the back of a sandwich when I eat it just to make sure it doesn't fly out the back How do you eat it now put it on the back not all the time. No, what do you mean?

So if I if I mean this sandwich sandwich hands, yes, I always go pinky out for sandwich hands though Do you I don't know I don't know why I think it might be because I'm trying to avoid the drip subconsciously although I kind of like it. Okay, pinkie out. Yes bite You can just Frankie If it's like one of those like super wet burgers or sandwiches I'll put my hand behind it like this and I'll bite it like that just to stop the slide. Oh I see, you know how you were trying to stop the steel. I'm trying to stop So you're saying you eat sandwiches not all the time like this sometimes sometimes if it's like

If it's a very wet sloppy because like you said when you bite on a sandwich Yeah, and there's tomato mayo lettuce and it kind of all comes out the back like like like a like a chicken cutlet Yes, yes, the mayo makes a lot. Yes It comes out the back. I don't like that because then the bread's off that I got to like catch up to the meat I need to take like an extra just meat bite. Yeah. Yeah, so I take it I put my hand behind it to make sure it doesn't slide. Uh-huh. What if it's like a longer sandwich? I Know what you're trying to do. I know what you're trying to do and I'm not gonna fall for it If it's a longer sandwich

First of all, how long of a sandwich do you think I'm eating Joe? I don't know I was just trying to get you I know what you were trying to do But I was eating a burrito the other day and I went what am I doing? Because I gripped it like a bare wood like I was like like this. That's that's the way to eat a burrito I usually just one-handed. Oh, but I'm not gonna eat a burrito like it like I'm like I'm praying Let's be honest about something. Yeah burritos are one of those sandwiches that like the appeal is that they're fucking fat So like you need to double hand those bitches. Yeah, of course. Yeah Yeah, that's the whole appeal of a burrito is like it's just too much meat for this little wrap

So let me just fucking double it. So a wrap It's just a skinny burrito Yeah, they've big sandwich has this like redefined. Yeah, like a Breeders just a fat wrap bingo, but also it's a little thinner Who wrap burritos burritos are not thinner than wraps. No, no They're like the the bread itself the breading itself is a little thinner Oh the because when you have a wrap say you have like a chicken Caesar wrap It's like three times wrapped so like they'll be like really like

Fucking like bread-y bites, you know what I'm saying depends where you go. My question that I was gonna pose you. Yeah, Joey Is it taco a sandwich is a taco a sandwich No, why why not because the bread doesn't touch does bread need to touch for it to be a sandwich Yes, it needs to know. No, it doesn't know it doesn't encapsulate because look at regular sandwiches Parallel pieces of bread. You're talking about a sandwich in a cartoon, Frankie You ever make an actual sandwich the bread touches. No, it doesn't touch when you grab a sandwich and you go like this What happens to the end of the bread? Yes. Oh, okay, Joey, you could go like this on the edges of like of any no But you can't with a taco. You don't eat a taco like

Fold it like this some freaks do soft shell tacos. They hold it like this and they guide it into their mouth Okay, be careful If the taco is like this is a taco It's bigger than I thought I would think it's a little more Triangular a little a little more because it has like a little I love when they bring out the fucking the little trays that are just like Get it and they put genius. Absolutely genius. They whoever made that design multi-billionaire probably hope so billionaire probably heavy but Yeah, it's not a sandwich. Yes, it is. What makes it a sandwich um the fact that it is meat and bread and stuff encapsulated in a

Starchy substance a bread of so a wrap is a sandwich. Yes a burrito is a sandwich. Yes No, no, no. Yes. Yes. Yes. No, how are they not because they're different. It's just a different thing It's you you sit here and you grew up in fucking 1950s America Where you have your white picket fence and you beat your wife when she comes home all I'm saying is that sandwiches could be different things Joey There's not these classifications are like a sandwich is one thing and I'm gonna go home And I'm gonna tell my wife about it and she disagrees. I'm gonna like fucking lock her out of the bank accounts There is a very specific if I say I want a sandwich do you go? I would also love a burrito. No, I'm gonna say what kind and then you're gonna say I'm gonna list off ingredients

I'm not gonna list. I'm not gonna say the bread If I say I want to say what you go, what kind of sandwich I go Hamdarki lettuce. Yeah, and I'll say how do you want to prepare? Yes, I would how do you want to prepare absolutely would who would answer that question? Well, that's like that's like Joey That's like That's like if I were to say oh, I want a band-aid a band-aid is a very specific brand But there are other types of band-aids out there, you know what I'm saying. So this is the same idea

No, what it's just your your, you know, you say you want a monotheistic mind see sandwiches as one thing Monotheistic, yeah, Joey you believe in one God and one sandwich and that's it I just what were the what was the consensus online where people saying that is oh, there's no consensus online Come on, Joe. It's online. I'm gonna look up the definition the Oxford deck depth Oxford dirt dirt dirt bird the Dexter laboratories definition Oxford Sam, you know, sometimes you have a weird accent when you say burgers and forward burger Why is that weird or you always make fun of the way I say it like there are certain words that I will agree

I you say it like a Sesame Street character I do watch a lot of Sesame Street with the kid do you? Ruby loves wow absolutely loves Sesame Street. I actually just got a text from my wife saying look at the crib cam so let's see this and and My daughter sleeping cool Just takes back seen it a million times Wow, she's sleeping. Yeah, what do we expect? She was like making potions in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Oxford's

Definition of words burger come on. Yeah, Oxford's definition of sandwich Okay, it says Also in British English known as a Sarnie. No, it's not we're not Britain Two slices of bread Off already off to a hot start Frank often spread with butter What that's what it says here. I swear to God I mean, I'd be down with a layer of meat cheese, etc. up between them So it all right now hold on hold on hold on hold on Oxford. We've agreed

There's some stuff there with the English. I haven't I haven't there's some stuff there They've said we agreed. We didn't agree. They've done and said some stuff Well, you know a couple wars couple a couple wars inventing a couple weird stuff Yeah, you know the Sun never set on the British Empire or something like that stuff like that now technically Mm-hmm Two slices of bread can meet and they could wrap around something wrap around. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah So that is still technically a sandwich. I think when we when the idea was Conjured up. They had a very specific understanding of what a sandwich could be but

Technology has come through we have new ways of doing things you think the English were caring about what they were doing in Mexico Not for the reasons you think Joey I Think if we allow for an inclusive environment, we could see other parts of the world Shut the fuck up Just shut up a taco is a sandwich. No, and so is the burrito and so was a hot dog Why do you want a taco to be a sandwich? Why can't you let? Whoever made the taco have the taco. You're like no no no This is the thing that we made to Joey as an American man

I need to define things for the rest of the world to work around what I believe they are Oh, that's what I was getting at and I just wanted you to admit that Well, I mean, that's what we do in America. I know, you know team America, baby So you're off Bud Light is what you're saying. No, I'm a I I'm a big but like it's so funny That has continued we talked about that last weekly episode people are still pissed Yeah, and now they're making up numbers like Bud Light has lost seven billion dollars in a week I love how hold on hold on. I love I love how Thank you. I love how conservatives are just like you you fucking and they're all southern by the way in my head

Yes, you fucking Libby Libby snowflakes you get so offended at the first thing and it's like Bud Light gives a beer to you know a Transactivist or whomever and they're like no Get him out fucking shoot him. I saw a thing on Twitter of a guy who created a a beer for Not gays Basically, it's called a Wait for not so for heterosexual America's been buying beer from a from a company that doesn't even know which restroom to use

It's not about Bud Light. I gotta say that's a that's a funny opening line. No, it gets funnier. Okay, this is like this whole ready This is real Work free work free watch this watch Listen Because just to describe I know my phone is very small and it is all the guys making a commercial being like fucking You know we're conservatives. We love beer and he's like he's got a baseball Mid and he catches a baseball and then he goes to throw it and he's like The worst also I literally tweeted him. I was like you probably should have cut that part out

Yeah, also using music that was ripped straight out of a gay club. Yeah That's this guy I don't think this guy realizes he shot himself right there. I wanted to buy it and drink it Well Okay, let's do it. I know I wanted to but then what do you think it tastes like? What would be what would it like a just like a fucking real disgusting like we hate every other people Beer tastes like beer, yeah Just like all the other ones. I mean I would buy it

But it's it's like a pre-order. I was like, oh the joke's not gonna be that joke isn't gonna be that funny because you have to wait for it Yeah, and the idea that probably maybe don't support people that are having such literally says conservative dad's 100% woke free Well, you are the opposite of every single one of those you are not a conservative Now you are not a dad not 100% woke free. Yeah, I think you're pretty you're pretty progressive-minded man Yeah, I don't I think actually you're like an entirely progressive Now that I think about it. I would say that so remember we had the member we had gay beer We did have gay beer gay beer back a couple episodes ago by couple. I mean over a year made made me feel gay

What's wrong? I loved it. No, I mean that beer is actually good. Apparently they do well What do you mean actually were you expecting it to be bad? No, I thought it was like a gimmicky beer, but it wasn't there's all right Hear me out Probably shouldn't okay. It's not no. I'll say it good What if they you start getting like real like leaning into it like it trans beer. Yeah, like this was a seltzer now It's a beer I Think there's an untapped market there

I mean Maybe or like a wine turned into a beer water into wine. That's trans Christians oh Chris out the Christian oh careful careful here now Johnny the Republicans are so against trans, but This guy literally transition transition water into wine. Yeah, that's trans Liquid well what happened you can not you could accept the pronouns of wine after Jesus touched it Yeah, you can't accept the pronouns of men and women walking around Jesus. What's wrong with you? That's not very Christlike absolutely not able to transition a boom pow like that, you know like water

Well, you know what they're gonna say the conservatives that watch this show none Are good to be like well that was a chemical change like but bleh bleh I don't think it was a chemical change. Um, I think wine and water chemically composed different things Bro like I hope he like actually does come back and he's just like You guys are you guys like you don't you got me all wrong, baby Yeah, he comes out and he's wearing like a protect trans kids shirt. Yeah, and he's well And he's drinking like sangria, I was gonna say like now he probably wouldn't turn water into wine He probably turned into like a seltzer or something

Yeah, he'd be like and I was present to you like the blood of Christ in today's age would be sangria or like a mojito Like one of those canned cocktails. Let me tell you something right now Jesus never had a mojito and if he did he probably would it wouldn't be wine He'd get one sip of that mint and rum and he'd go holy shit. Where's this from? You get that black sherry white cloth like take this my child Walking to have you been in like a Catholic church? Um, have I in my life or recently? No in your life. Yes, of course You know like everyone gets up and they drink from the same Instead instead. Yeah, instead of the chalice. It's like I was like, why is there only one cup?

Everyone gets some fucking shit. Let's get hammer. He starts tossing. He has a tray of shots And he's like you're my child peace be upon thee Peace be peace be with you peace be with you and also with you. Yeah, I think you know, I'd be better if yours are the limes If he just came out with like a bong It was like, you know, you go up you go up to accept like the Eucharist and then he's like all right Oh It's my blood It's my blood

Listen, we're not blaspheming because I'm Catholic and I don't care No, I do care Don't I'm kind of My grandma's gonna be so pissed at me. She won't she can't feel feelings. She's somewhere She's in the ground. I was gonna be honest What are you gonna say? Oh, you're gonna say hell. I was gonna say hell. That would be more a One more offensive to your mom and to met your grandmother pure of heart. Yes

Let me tell you that woman lived life by Jesus's code if anyone deserved to be up there. Yeah. Yeah, she's on the front line She also had some fat earrings. Oh, I didn't know what you were going to say I was like, yeah, you still your grandma had some fat titties, dude No, I never I don't even think I looked at your grandma's tits I don't think I've seen a grandma. Well, I just have to see my grandma's tits, but I said I haven't oh I think he said obviously I have no so obviously I haven't okay. She wore big clothing big jackets She did wear them. I remember she always had like really beautifully bedazzled earrings. She had big. Yeah It looked like a turtle shell. You know, I swear to God that was the idea. I had in my head was like turtle

Ask she was very like pearls and Earrings and shit. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, do you I? Have early early memories of my childhood Okay, that's just childhood memories. Well, no, no, but like early I can remember like my fourth birthday What the hell yeah weird stuff. Okay really weird. Do you remember any of your parents naked? I? Remember peeing into whoa, whoa, whoa, I remember peeing in the same toilet as my dad Oh, and that wasn't terrifying. I saw the dick. That's I can see I know how toilets work Yeah, and if I assume you're young you're a dick level height, so I wasn't at dick level height

I was peeing into a fucking It wasn't like that. Why would I be how would I be peeing if I was that close to his dick? I know how you're peeing in the same toilet just just standing over it peeing in it Yeah, like this no, but I have to be higher because if I'm if he's up there Yeah, it's taller than dick so what here. I don't know. I don't know the right I Don't know is the answer That was you you're getting that that's I don't know maybe do you know what about your mom you remember your mom naked at any point in time? No, I don't either

My dad that my dad are I remember him naked. You remember that fucking dick. I actually well chose you remember that El chicharron yeah, uh, god, I love chorizo You can't not that kind not that kind not that kind I'm not gay You're fucking gay. Yeah Yeah, no, I actually because of like I remember my dad naked growing up because we were he would like take the kids and I The kids and I my Brothers and I like in the shower. Yeah, I used to do that too So now as a result

I've been permanently scarred and I when I like when I'm showering and I leave the door open I keep my boxers on Like when my daughter is like running in. Oh, because there's no way I'm gonna have her stare Wait, what? Oh wait When you're showering with your daughter when I'm yes, so there are sometimes Joe a house of kids It's kind of tough to I'm asking a question. I'm not saying I'm explaining Sometimes I shower and I'll leave the door open So if my the bathroom door you're saying yeah, yeah, yeah, okay

So my daughter will run in and she'll like play Right outside of it, but I don't want her to look in and be like is that a weenie? Yeah, you know, so I keep my boxers on got it. Yeah, is that every time you shower? No, no, no, just just the times where like, you know all three kids are home at the same time and you know They're being nuts. So I'll be like listen. I'm gonna shower I'll leave the door open and Ruby like runs in and like brings her toys. She can like play and stuff like that Okay, you know, but I don't want to scar her. I don't want her earliest memory to be of my wiener Why your earliest memory is your dad's wing not earliest but early but it's it's top three

It's scarily early. It's like seared into your mind. So if you close your eyes right now, you can see your dad's dick I remember yeah Why do you think I like staying up so much I Can't sleep I can't sleep all I see is my dad's wiener. I remember throwing up in pre-k I Remember my X-Men playing cards that I had I remember some stuff in pre-k to actually I remember I threw up and like picked myself up between desks and threw up just cheese doodles Okay, I remember shitting my pants in pre-k vivid memory of like me being in the bathroom and having to change Wow, look at that. You're bringing up pooping again. It's a memory, bro. Yeah

It's seared into my fucking soul. Yeah, I remember I actually remember you pooping your pants, too It was a mess, dude. You really not a man. You need to clean yourself. No, it was a mess No, it was the type of like poop in your pants were like your butt cheeks recovered in poop How would you know that I remember no you don't I was there when we changed you we yes No, I went to the bathroom with miss Pala. I remember Where she Probably living her life. I don't know I think she remembers us but I was in pre-k and I had to like change myself She came to the bathroom with me and just handed me the stuff over the well

It was a Catholic school. They were probably didn't want to get caught up in some of the stuff that was out there Yeah, you know, but also like Did I know how to do that change yourself? Yeah, I mean you knew how to say you gotta wipe up You knew how to poop your pants. I assume you knew how to clean it up Everyone knows how to poop their pants. No, you lose that. Yeah, you do I could poop my pants right now do it No, why not because of the cleanup Maybe if I was in my apartment, I would do it for a small amount of cash really how much $750

Done cash I will if you shit my pants listen in my own apartment listen to me right now I'm throwing the pants out by the way. There's no Well, yeah, no, you throw all you throw all your articles. Oh, yeah, my pants. Let me let me be very clear you have to document you pooping your pants and prove that you pooped your pants and I'll Venmo you $750 really no All right for how much for me to piss in a gray pair of sweatpants

So you could see the piss and you record the whole thing just standing there and just you'll see the water 300 bucks The easiest money I've ever made ever I honestly think it's hilarious Oh, do you like when you just stand in there and you just see the piss how much to let me pee on you? We do have some sponsors for today The first one well, this is well, okay, the second one first No, no, no second one first and then the first one because it sounds like there was a weird transition there So the sponsor this this podcast is sponsored by better help Got you better help is online therapy and counseling you can talk to a therapist in just under 48 hours

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Coming close coming a little closer. I'm gonna tell you about the patreon basement yard Continues the fun on a patreon. All right, they used to be two boys that wanted to make you laugh and cry And I need you to go to patreon.com Stands the binnyard and go and sign up for one of those tears. I know Joey Go easy on that desk there guy you broke it. No someone did Boy, but there's a you know patreon.com size of basement yard There was a little there was a little cutie cute one for you right there Joey I bet you don't know what that jingle's from but you don't know bitch. I do know the song

But I don't know the name of it. Oh, well learn it. Oh seal. No, not seal. Oh, okay. I'm gonna let you figure it out Pitch on that cop slice the basement yard is the best way to support the show now Listen, we have a lot of fun over here And that's the way that we like to continue the fun because not only do you get these weekly episodes in advance when you sign I for that first tier that second tier gives you exclusive episodes and exclusive little featureettes That we like to do for you guys and thank you for being patrons. So we just passed 19,000. It is legitimately We have had no idea how we've gotten here, but we want to keep giving you guys You know something to smile and laugh about so we're gonna keep doing stuff for you guys and keep climbing up those ranks on

The patreon leaderboards. We want to be number one and I think it's actually quite possible So thank you so much for all those guys that have and girls and everyone in between that has supported and thank you for those Who will continue to support patreon.com slice a basement yard sign up to get the boys Moving up those ranks, baby. Yeah, the Dalai Lama kiss a boy Yeah, I didn't know I didn't know how to transition into that you can't throw that up You can't thrust that upon me. Well, but it's been thrusted and Someone and then also I heard that he asked the boy to suck his time That was that was the thing that was the thing that he had to apologize for can I ask a serious question?

Well, the kiss I think also I'm gonna just I'll say it because I feel confident in my Brain to be the idiot here. You could barely get that sentence out Is the like who is the Dalai Lama? Oh, dude, I was hoping you didn't ask me that because I have no idea what or how or when the Dalai Lama is Is it like it's one person like Mother Teresa or is it like a title like I think it's like a pope like you know How like there's been like multiple like spider men Like well, it's not like that. Is it like the title? Is it like I think he's just a guy who like it's like a pope He's good at advice. It's like the pope. Yeah, but he's just good out of it like a he's got a lot of quotes

Quotables, I don't know. I honestly don't know. I don't know what they do You should look it up the Dalai Lama. I think you should look it up. I think it's a title, right? I used to think it was an animal 1,000% I did as well. Yeah, I'll let's just put that out there. Is it for Hinduism? I forgive me and this is legitimately me asking because I don't know Tibetan to it's a spiritual leader. It's this spiritual leader leader of Tibet Tibetan Buddhism a Buddhist I was gonna say Buddhism, but I then I didn't I didn't know and I'm sorry Well, he's not watching. He's got enough to worry about There's a video. Oh my god, is there a video? Oh, no, I have this the Dalai Lama

Apologizes after viral video of him kissing a child. It was innocent and playful Oh You show about that Come on, mr. Lama. You can't get a boy to suck your tongue Obviously, I'm Joe take it from the man that asks all the time Joey shut way. How you shut up. You just said obvious bitch I did I was talking about this. I'll say obviously you're not supposed to kiss a boy. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You're an idiot Dalai Lama kisses a young Indian boy tells him suck my tongue. That's the weirder part No, listen people are like when it comes to you know, like religion. Oh, he's not an office

The Dalai Lama's office said his holiness wishes to apologize to the boy in his family. You have a Twitter account Gotta like I said, he's got a lot of quotes. Oh, I see his quotes all the time. Go see if the Dalai Lama has a Twitter account I'd like to see this. Oh, here's the story the child approached the Dalai Lama and asked if he could hug him So the leader invited him on stage Kissed him on stage I'm gonna you may gonna sit showed him his cheek and invited him to give him a kiss a Kissed a kiss first here. That's the quote apparently. He said first here. Oh Dalai Lama kept hold of the boy Hmm. This isn't getting good. So here first here and then he and then he did this. Well, I don't know which was here

Oh, oh the Dalai Lama kept hold of the boy That's that's never a good state like sentence and any let the boy go. Yeah Saying I think here also and then placing a kiss on his lips Dolly Dolly and sucked my tongue. He said then sticking out his tongue Forehead to forehead with the student. Ew, dude. I don't let's be very clear about some Lama Let's be very clear about something if my wife asked me to suck her tongue I don't know if I would do that. That's a very I'd be like when did you brush your teeth?

But that's a very wet like intimate like sucking of tongues. You ever suck a tongue? I think I have but I definitely suck the tongue and I'll tell you this right now. It's weird. It's not good It's it's a strange texture. It's it's like you're sucking an eel if I suck something I expect it to come straight off. You know what I mean? Oh my god, dude. What do you whoa? Listen listen to like an oi straight away. I expected to come take it easy You gotta be good at it Stop stop stop listen I want to come straight down listen to what I'm saying like think of like the foods that you like slurp or suck

Well, you know me all pretty much everything exactly It feels wrong if they don't like like if you if the power of your suction doesn't fully get them. You know what I mean? I'm not doing myself any paper. No, you're not I know you mean though because when you suck like a like an oyster. Yes, you want it to you want to shoot Don't say don't say it. We know we know where it goes, but don't say it You do want it to shoot. You get what I'm saying. Yeah, you're Yeah, there is no way to say it there is no way to say it so I'm gonna stop yeah What's with religious like

People in like the hierarchy asking for kisses like remember the Pope. Well, at least the Pope was like come here kiss your papa What he didn't you don't remember the Pope that's like the Pope's thing. He's like he's like, you know kiss kiss me They do the hand he can people kiss the Pope's hand. Yeah, that's different than kid than this No, but like asking for it is the weird part if people come up to you and they're like my holiness Thank you so much. Oh, but he's like, yes. Yes. Yes. Oh and like if the dollar if someone went up to the Dalai Lama It was like turn their cheek and I was like, I love you. Well, but like if they were like you loved me kiss me Here now here

This is so fucked this is so fucked listen listen listen we've established We're gonna join your grandmother in hell. All right, so Dare say that about my grandmother if anything your grandma's in hell. No grandpa though He might be You're gonna no sell that completely, aren't you? Tibetan say that Dalai Lama stuck my tongue video is being misinterpreted There's a very easy way to interpret it and it's a not a good way I'm trying to

figure out how this could be misconstrued I I think it's like It's like the way that All right, I don't want to watch this. I don't even want to watch. No, I don't want to watch it. You don't want to watch a Grown holy man kiss a boy the weird We've said this if the pope were to come around and we would be like pope

We love you so much like can I give you a kiss on the hand different? But when the when they ask When the Dalai Lama is like come here That's creepy. Yeah, and then and then this double creepy. Yeah the stick sucking my tongue Yeah, that's just like super horny and not cool. It's a little horny not a little that's a ton That's a ton of horny a ton of horny. I don't especially if you're like a religious figure You're not you're supposed to abstain aren't you? Yeah, but you know they get a they get a they they get around it. Yeah, they get around like the the Mormons how they're like They do the soaking. They're like technically dude. Yeah, technically if i'm not thrusting we're not fussing, you know

Do you ever see the videos on tiktok at them like someone going around the campus of uh b y u and being like Would you rather watch a porn video or die a horrible excruciating death? Most of them said that the horrible excruciating death. Well, they're being they know they're being recorded. So they're just doing it for the views Joey who's watching Clearly you No, I mean, yeah, but what do I give a fuck? I'm watching it going watch the porn you idiot Man excruciating death

You know, I think that there are people I think it's all great that you have a fucking thing that you believe in god But the wood in the earth. Mm-hmm, but like come on It's just a little okay. It's a little it's a little cheeks I just the the part that gets me that's that's just very strange is that like there are Like collections of people that have these intense beliefs and then it becomes a little culty in my opinion Like you want to have your beliefs practice on your own you're just describing religions Yeah, I mean read the tea leaves joey, you know, it's not an expression read the tea leaves I don't think so read the tea leaves is that a thing look at the fuck up you stupid pig

Look it up Look it up read the tea leaves is that like read the writing on the wall It's like for some reason there's tea leaves things are written on tea leaves Yes Am I right or am I right tea leaves means to use signs or signals to predict something that's going to happen in the near future Well, okay. Yeah, that's like the writing on the wall. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so I'm not you know I I allow and allow like I could stop people I support people that You know practice whatever religion they choose to wow, but like you have to admit

There are certain sects of it that get a little culty Yeah, you can argue more Mormonism is one of those that's a little and the fact that they have like colleges I just think it's weird that they wear full Like like night long johns. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah with that little like like a little dumpling hat You know what I mean? It's hot in Utah. How do you is it that hot in Utah? Dude, it was like over 100 degrees when I went really. Yeah Where was that park you went to that you always tell people about Zion you love telling people about that

We went hiking but I don't talk about it that often but like there were animals you brought it up I wouldn't have brought it up. Bitch. You want to bet? Yeah, you love talking about how much you hike No, I don't yes, you do. I don't even hike that much. I haven't hiked this That's not true. Yep. There you go. I don't Think this is a good look for the Dalai Lama I think oh the pr team for the Dalai Lama is going crazy and working overtime Is there why is there a pr team for the Dalai Lama? Why are the way I was just saying that but I assume he has one Well clearly the office the office of the Dalai Lama the office of the Dalai Lama. Yeah, they're working double time

They had to like put out a statement If I were to ask you to suck my tongue Guess guess what I would say $25,000 Suck it out of your mouth. Yeah, 25,000 dollars. All right. All right, right 4,000. No five Six 10

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro cash Yeah, all right. I mean, I'll take like store credit. What would you offer me? For to suck my tongue, yeah $5,000. All right, let's do it. Okay. Oh, I don't I don't want to pay you just said you'd offer me $5,000 Oh, I don't want to pay you. Who like a third party would come in. It's a business expense. No, no, no, no. Yeah No, what? No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Why not? You could file it as a business expense Imagine my account like my account's like, what is this $5,000 thing? It's like it was a promotional thing that we did Freaking sucked my tongue on an episode. Yeah, it was it was like it's for work

He's like, I don't think you could expense that. Why not just put it down. Just put it down. Do you ever like What's like the honestly, I don't know. Maybe you can't say like the number amount That's fine. But like in terms of like the classification of the item What's the strangest thing that you've like written off as a business expense? I don't think anything weird. Do you think there are like like adult entertainment companies that are just like man Dildos and stuff. Well, like that that stuff I've I've written off in the past Like how many dildos are you buying? No, no, if it was for like a video or something and anything I have to buy for video

So it's like oh with dildo. I have to write off or so So if I wanted to do a patreon exclusive episode where we were to drink alcohol Uh-huh. I could we could write it off as a business expense a hundred percent I didn't know that. Yeah, I could write off dinners and stuff I well dinners I understand but like but there's alcohol at dinners No, no, no, but I mean just like buying the alcohol. Yeah, of course I didn't know I have I actually have a thing in my Notes for a patreon exclusive episode. The hell was that? No, the thing in my notes

What? So I'm gonna I'm gonna Ask for the company card and just go buy a couple models. Cool I don't know if you're gonna get it But anyway speaking of stuff that has to do with money We have some sponsors and we have rocket money rocket money is a Personal finance app that's going to help you budget It's gonna help you identify your unwanted subscriptions and help you cancel them and it can help lower your bills

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Basement, okay, put some money back in your pocket. Learn how to budget and let's go crazy. All right Rocket money dot com slash basement And lastly here we have sea keek sea keek big fans at the sea keek, you know, that's where I buy all my tickets for any sort of concert or You know, uh, Broadway play or sporting event whatever it is I'm buying it on sea keek. Uh, and the summer's coming up go to a nice like outdoor concert or something You know, like that's the pregame this thing and go crazy Um, but you can uh go to sea keek and it's great Every ticket has like a buyer guarantee

Also, they're graded like color-coded so like a dark green is like a really good ticket a dark red is like you might be overpaying for this Okay, so stay away from those. Um, but you can use the code basement for 20 dollars off your first sea keek order Go download the app. Uh, use the code basement for 20 dollars off of your first sea keek order Uh, and yeah Go check it out. Okay, go to something go to a sporting event. I'm trying to hit baseball games Oh, yeah, Yankees. Yeah, I mean I'm trying to hit concerts Outdoors, what concerts would we both like to go to? a lot of queen

Queen yeah Hmm. Oh adam Lambert. I was gonna say well freddy's dead frank. Yeah adam Lambert tours with them now joey He's still doing it. I believe they just are doing another tour Lambert's fucking unbelievable. Yeah, absolutely unbelievable. Yeah Our next sponsor is etsy etsy is great. I love shopping on etsy, especially when the holidays come around and for birthdays It's always the first website that I go to When looking for gifts for other people or something that I just want in my apartment as well There is beautiful items that are made by independent sellers on this website. Uh, and there's a bunch of things that you can buy jewelry furniture art

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Shop etsy.com etsy has it again Use the code new for 10 off your first purchase if you're a new etsy shopper you ever have you ever met someone who is like kind of like a little bit of like a Kind of homophobic, but they love queen and you're like I got some stuff to tell you about Really, I don't know that I I don't know. I don't really know Many people because you stay inside you hermit No, I'm saying I don't know many actual homophobic people

There's one person I know who I would classify as a homophobe and We're not the people that I interact with though Like I know people that have like said weird stuff and I'm like, well, I'm not a homophobe It's like they're just like they don't I don't want them around but like if you were to be like You know like jokingly like hug them and like squeeze their butt. They'd be like don't dare You know squeeze their butt which is another thing but Uh, and I remember there was a queen song on where we were in like the same area And he was like this song rocks, but this freddy guy

gay big gay Do you remember when we were at the top of the hill party a couple years ago? You know how you you know how I get into my music when like this live performance and we're like, you know hammered Yeah, and I like do the guitar and I like fall back into you or like or whatever Yeah, do you remember that there was a gay man that came up to us when we were doing Either fap-autumn girls or or bohemian rhapsody. It was definitely fap-autumn girls and was like, are you sure you guys aren't gay? They said that you don't remember that

Yeah, and I was just like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what the internet says too. It's like, you know, these dudes are gonna fucking You know, no, I'm all I'll do respect. I love you. Don't you dare say what you're about to say You know, you're not my type, joey. Well, you're not my type either, bitch Wait, how the fuck am I not your type because I like I'm a little more rugged than you. I'm rugged. You're not really I'm so rugged. You're not rugged. Look, I'm very rugged. Look at you You're not rugged. I'm how am I not rugged because I'm not wearing a fucking flannel and 80 degree weather You stupid dumb idiot. Yeah, but look at you now. You're too angry too. You fly off the handle. I don't like that That's a very rugged thing to do. No, it's not

They're not rugged for you. No, it's not. No, you can never be what I need Frank I think I could be exactly what you need. That's what you think You don't even want me. I don't want you. So why do you need me to have you? I want you to want me I want you to want me I need you to need me. I don't know this part I want you I don't know it. I mean, yeah, we lost it. Oh Dila Dila Dila. See you crying Oh

It's one of those songs that I'll sing every time I can I'm not gonna say that. Obviously I'm gonna sing it. That's a good combination of Dila Yeah, it's so good. You know, it's like fun. Are there any other songs that you don't know any of the words to but you'll sing Hard tons like tons I don't I I don't know because sometimes I'll be singing the song like when the radio is like louder than me and I'll just like say a thing Like it's just like a noise, but then I hear someone else say the words and I go Oh, shit, technically what you're hearing you're repeating, but you don't know what you're saying at all. Yeah

And then when someone says the word you go, that's the word And then I go, bro, there have been multiple times where I thought I was saying like something and then I Really like I'm saying the opposite dude. I hate when people call me out when I'm doing that too Yeah, they're like, you don't know the words and it's like who gives a fuck. I know the sound Bitch. Yeah, people used to make fun of me for that all the time because I would listen to a song And before I had it down packed, I would just say whatever in the tone of whatever I was listening to is it down packed Yeah, I thought it was down pat Down packed. Is it packed? Oh packed down packed down. Are you positive?

No, it's funny how this is happening like in real time kind of no, no, no, no, wait. Is it down pat? I've had it down packed got it down It's down pat wait Yeah, hmm. Wait, is it no If you think it's pat I don't I like pat. It's pat down pat. I like packed If i'm being honest packed it really packed it right down tight down in there push it down

I gotta write down in there down and pack it down. Everything is right where I need it to be Yeah But like I'll say this Sean paul I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. None of the words. I don't know, but i'm singing it. I'm singing it too. If I hear get busy It's got that booty non-stop put a beat drop just keep shigging it Get crunked up cracking in I don't crack it. That's what I thought it was. I thought it was like

It crunked up crapping in crapping in maybe it's one of those two I gotta imagine get busy lyrics Don't have a good time What the uh shake the booty non-stop want to be drop just keep swinging it I thought it was shaking. I thought it was jiggling jiggle it just keep shaking it get jiggy Oh, I that I was right. I thought it was it was percolate, but I don't know what that means get crunked up percolate Percolate percolate Any anything you want to call it oscillate your hip. I don't know joey Oscillate your hip and don't be a pity. I don't I gotta I gotta say I don't think that the impression is doing you any favors

Yeah, it's probably like not sick. Not cool, but like It's okay. It's our chat hangs can do it. We can do it. It's fine. Who cares? I'm a straight white guy. Nothing's gonna happen to me and you don't have a famous dad Yeah, thank god Uh, but yeah, dude, I'm so I'm so off with what I thought this song was saying. Yeah, I don't know It says get jiggy get crumped up percolate anything you want to call it oscillate your hip and don't take pity Oscillate my guys putting words in there that are like oscillates like like a fan

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, oscillate your hips dude shaking back and forth. So Damn your sexy ladies won't paw with us in the car with us They want to them not wall with us in a dick club. They want flex with us. Can you read it normal? No, I can't sounds written But no, like you're doing it in like just like read the words And in a dick club they want flex with us. They get next to us. They non-vex with us non-vex. I don't know That's why I'm asking sexy ladies won par with us. Yeah In a dick car with us

Dem now war with us To get next with us dem Sien vex with us From did they me born jaw ignite me flame that one I understood I think Gal uh, call me name and it is my fame. It's all good girl turn me on to the early morning Let's get it on. Let's get it on Get busy get busy. Yeah. All right. All right. I think we got it. Okay. All right Not all right. I think we got a d-minus buddy

I don't know what I'm saying is like I know the song, but I don't know the song I don't think you need and there's a lot of songs like that and it's okay. That's how you learn songs Right And it's all right get jiggy What about temperature? Oh, don't it a garland skillar legalize it remember that? Oh, I say it like that legalize it Time to recognize it Go ahead

It come in no, I'm not even gonna try I I have a feeling we're gonna get a little in trouble I have a feeling we're gonna get a little bit of trouble for this From who Sean Paul? I think you might come for us. No, I hope and might ask us to flex with them and non vex with them Not it's not non vex But it's written in like I don't know I can't Oh We can't decipher it because we don't understand we don't have the tools needed We don't have a rosetta stone to understand what they're saying

Rosetta stone This would be really into rosetta stone. Do you know that one? Uh-oh I think I told you this once before but uh I thought It's like, you know, rosetta stone like the rosetta stone is like a real thing No shit joey, right? So What I didn't I don't know right so yeah rosetta stone

We had one for some reason when I was like growing up. It was like a not a real one No, no, no the real one is thousands of years old No, I know but then there was so we had like the packaging for it or whatever, right? And then I remember one day I was going through Uh the desk and there was a mini one, but it was like a rosetta stone And it looked like a stone and it had like all these different things written on it like what I imagine the rosetta sound looks like And I was like I thought you had them

I thought I had them I thought I had like the sorcerer stone This is some like 80s adventure movie where you like removed a shelf and you were like, oh Yeah, like nicolas cage like oh it was a clue. That's really embarrassing. Yeah, I was like That's really it was it was also like it wasn't made out of stone. It was like black and I think the pack was like felt Yeah, that's a little stupid of you. That's all right. I convinced myself that I was going to be a millionaire because I I Found a plant at the lake house and I was told that they didn't exist in new york

And I was like, oh if I bring me to new york, I'll be a millionaire Because of the plant It's all good. Yeah, I'm like a weed. Yeah, it's actually exactly what it was. It was a weed It was a weed not weed itself. Take it easy just a weed big legalize it boy. Yeah Legalize it legalize it. Yeah, uh, but yeah, I convinced myself that I was like, oh if I just bring this back I can make a million dollars. You know, I one time I used to think that I could see Bacteria Well in your eye. Yeah, that is like a form of like something I remember it's like if I like if I like

well Take it easy But I have to like No, no, no, I know what you're trying to do. But like if you like look this way, you'll see it like Yeah, and you could see things and I was like, oh my god Well, no, I think it actually is something like it. No, it is it has to be it's like an amoeba thing But I thought it was just me bro. No, you're not. No, I thought I was like my eyesight is crazy. Yeah No, it's not. I know your eyesight is probably worse than mine. It's definitely I mean I wear contacts and glasses. Yeah, you're all fucked up

It's not n glasses. I don't wear them both at the same time. It's the same prescription Why are you getting so defensive about your eyes because you're like n glasses, which I can't shoot eyes joey I mean Bitch honestly. Yeah, if I get more in context, I can see everything. Okay. Okay. If anything my eyesight's probably worse than yours right now Yeah, definitely. I like you're you're a squinter. I am unfortunately not to be confused with squirter Um, I'm one of those right won't confirm which one Here recently chris jenna was just like i'm a squirter I saw that. I'm like howie bandels podcast. You wouldn't you wouldn't take that for a spin though

Ha, no It's like it's like a it's like a 67 friends. It's like a 67 shelby gt You could admire it from afar and you're like that's a cool car. You want to drive it? No Oh, I want to drive that you want to drive that car not when it comes to chris jenner I don't like old cars because they're all stick and I'll look like a fucking idiot if I try to drive that Yeah One time I drove rouse car and the stick and I sounded like the bottom of the car fell out I did that to my friend

Carlitos car And he and he was calling me as I was driving and I just drove in like the like a parking lot And I pulled up to him after five minutes. He was like the emergency brake was on the whole time I was like, oops I've done that too. Yeah, it's not good. I'm like, why doesn't like smoke? Yeah, it's not it's an emergency brake. It's not good You shouldn't do it. No But legalize it legalize it I'm so excited to be back here with you

I didn't go anywhere if I'm being honest I'm I'm still doing it. You ignored everything I said my sentimental. What are you worried about? Like is this what is this like cultural appropriation or something? Oh, well, no I just think that like there are certain actions we shouldn't do which ones. Um That one do an asian one joe All right, all right, how about doing it do what you're making wasn't that it do it again Legalize it no All right, you're right do indian joe

Which oh, yeah, yeah, come on. Yeah, but if I do it like a broken english one that I get But i'm not doing a broken english one do uh to mexican I can't speak spanish. Do it do like, you know, like cholos from la Exactly my point has been made I could do I could do the cholos because i'm columbian and we're like boys us in Mexico Oh, yeah, I think You're gonna go to mexico. I'd go to mexico. I'm worried about the diarrhea

Joey you have diarrhea in america. What's the difference about going down there? He brought it up. No, I brought it up. You brought it up You just have a word about a diarrhea Yeah No, that's like a fear of mine just like being in the shower It would be like you and your family would have the best time of your life because you can just go around saying Diadoodle cha cha cha the whole time. Yeah, we would have so much you and your fucking freak family My fake family freak That you and your family are so fake. No, no, I would never say that

I love every one of your family members. Wow, especially your dad. Okay well He texted me something the other day He texted. Oh, I forgot to bring this up on the episode. He texted you a screenshot. No, I wish I wish I had your dad's number I'd call him regularly No, you wouldn't want to bet. Yes. Give me your dad's number. I'll call him today Frankie, I'm telling you that's a mistake. Why because he will keep first. Well, what my dad does is he'll call me and I pick up and

It's over an hour And then when we hang up two minutes later calls me again. I don't pick it up. Oh, that's because I'm like, I'm not doing this again He said, oh, wait, I forgot the sound line. No, you had an hour If your dad texted you saying like that Frankie good guy. He's going get good for him. I love him. Oh, yeah Yeah, I was just like, let's go. He said it to me Oh, shit. Oh, I forgot to do something The windbreakers It's stopped right now. Wink, wink, wink, wink

What is that? Quink, quink Santa gata studios they're windbreakers They're uh, they're good in the rain. That's what windbreakers are and they're It breaks the wind and it has a cool little pocket. It's got a pouch. It's got zippers all kinds of stuff But they are in the store right now Uh shop.santagato studios.com. I think it's a site We knew we heard everyone saying like I want to wear and support

Santagato studios merch, but I also want to run in the rain and heavy winds Yes, now you could do now you could do it and They're stylish. They come in two great colors blue and pink. Yes Both great And you know me I'm all about flashy clothes. Yes, nothing says flash like hot pink, right They're great. So go grab them. Um, but that is uh, that is all for this week's episode frank. Where can they find you buddy? Yep F alvers 8085 on twitter the frank alver is on instagram and all of the forums and social media

Then go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard. We're climbing up those ranks. We're at 19 19 and change We get to 20. Who knows what's gonna happen. We get to 21 Amazing so keep keep thank you for the love and support and go check it out again Yep, and uh, you can go follow me at joe santa gato Go follow the show on tick tock and instagram at the basement yard and that is all go get yourself a windbreaker shop dot Santagato studios dot com and that is all we'll see you guys next time party