The Basement Yard - #398 - Our Leader Has Abandoned Us!

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

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Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank, how's it going? You know, come on, don't you know what you did? What I do? You know exactly what you did. What? What are you doing here, Joey? What? Are you going to audition for the new Blade Runner film

right after this? I've actually never seen Blade Runner. Any of them? There's multiple? There's, well, the original, which has different versions. And then there's 2049, which came out a couple of years ago. What's the significance of 2049? I think it's just meant to show that it takes place a number

of years after the original. What's it about, like razor blades? Like someone with like a salesman? What? You know what? I'm not even going to say anything. Tell me what you think the movie Blade Runner is about. It's probably a very violent movie about rollerblading.

You think so? That would actually, you know, that was rollerball. Remember that movie? That was a good one. That was with like, damn, wasn't like LL Cool J in that or some shit? Shut up. I could be wrong on an LL Cool J. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't.

Oh, yeah, you don't have to look up to look up. We're not talking about that. It doesn't matter. You think Blade Runner is about rollerblading? Or like something about Samurai's, like the Blade, maybe. You know how Samurai's, they run really weird with the Blade, like backwards, but then they, you know? I mean, they do run like, they run like this.

They run like this, but that's because they're always ready. I mean, don't talk shit about Samurai's. They were like well-respected fucking like, you know, troops. Big T. I wasn't talking shit about Samurai's. Because they are, they were, they'll fuck you up. Yeah. You ever wondered how a sword can really fuck you up? I don't, I don't wonder.

I don't wonder. I know it'll cut your head off or it'll stab you to the heart. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Seriously. Jokes aside, I know how like if I were to, you know, like thrust a sword in you, that would fucking, that would fuck you up. That would hurt a bit. Quite a bit.

But like if I have like a jacket on and someone swings a sword at my arm, that North Face will protect me, right? Are you familiar with Katanas? Yeah, but like can they go through a jacket? Yeah, bro. Are you sure? Are you sure? You gotta be wearing chain mail.

Even chain mail though. No, it won't cut through chain mail. It won't cut through chain mail? It's chain mail. It'll just, I can't tell you how. It'll spark. It'll bruise you. Oh, I can't tell you how aesthetically like pleasing chain mail looks to me.

Like when I used to see Scott Steiner come out. With it on his head. And he'd be like, you know, holler if you hear me. I forget about the. You would holler. I'd holler because I heard him. Yeah. What I heard was I wanted the fucking chain mail.

Yeah, exactly. But dude, don't you dare disrespect samurai? Oh, no one was disrespecting samurai. I'm a big samurai guy. Anyone who could like do it. I actually, I don't really, I don't really respect people who fence. Anyone who could handle an actual sword, I respect. Yeah, people that have those skinny little swords

that have just like a button on the end of it. And also like the bee face cage. Just go, just, just be like more aggressive and into it. And like actually sword fight. Yeah, like the cages, it looks like a fly face. Fencing is such a French. Like it's from France, right? Yeah.

Even if it's not, it should be. Yeah, I think they're all smoking cigarettes in those masks. And then they pick it up and they're always like snooty little assholes. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? And they're all like, you got me, bitch. Yeah.

Like I think they're all like Draco Malfoy right there. I think Draco Malfoy also think the scene from what movie? What movie am I thinking of? Richie Rich. Oh, that's a great movie. It is a great movie. He had a McDonald's in his crib. I know.

The guy was rich. He just wanted to play baseball. Be a normal kid, you know? He'll play baseball. Um, anyway, I want to. Scoundrels down the street. I did have something I wanted to start your show. You're not even going to acknowledge the fact that you're dressed like,

you know, Dr. Pershing from fucking Star Wars. Who is that? That is a cut for the .01% of people that watch this. Who is that? I'm not even going to tell you. I'm a Star Wars fan. I don't know how you're talking about. He's from The Mandalorian.

If you haven't been up to date on The Mandalorian. He sounds like a really nice gentleman who gets like a ton of ass, too. Well, he fairly in line with your political views, former empire, you know, scientist, you know. It's all there. I don't even. Do you just say I align politically with something from Star Wars? Yeah.

Well, wouldn't you look at do a little deep dive on what the empire was based off of? You know, that's where the joke is. Whatever. Darth Vader's cooler. Okay. No, but listen. Here's the deal. Uh-oh.

Right. Here's the deal. This is so free. Those of you guys that are watching. Frank doesn't know what's happening. Yeah. He came in and he's like, I got something to start the show. Click.

And I was like, oh fuck. Yeah. Okay. So listen. You know, we argue on the show a lot. We do. You know. Yeah.

And I feel like there's a lot. I've seen a lot of comments of people being like, you know, I'd be heartbroken if I found out they weren't actually friends or if they actually hate each other off camera or something like that. Right. Okay. What? I'm I've seen that.

That's what I'm saying. I've seen those. Yeah. That would be very heartbreaking. So, you know, the reason why I'm dressed this way is because I feel like we need to remind people that we're actually really good friends. Whoa!

And the new merch is available now, Frank. That's fucking awesome. Whoa. Which one is me? You know, this is you. Are you sure about that there, Matt? Yeah. You're stupid tongue out when you laugh.

Ah, I do do that. So why? So you got the dick sucking mouth? Watch it, bud. Oh, okay. We got pillow. Whoa! That's fucking sick.

Take the pillow. Yeah. We got it. We got pink. We got pinks. You want to know? You want to know? We got pinks.

I got, god damn it. I dropped it. I'll never do that again. You're a friendship. Oh, look at this. We got tote bags. We got tote bags. Whoa!

We got tote bags. Little best friend drop. Little bestie drop. Yeah. We got green for you. Green. Green. And blue.

We got a blue. And then we got whatever. Whatever the fuck this? We got pink. That's pink. That's pink. That's a fuchsia.

This is like a magenta. I had magenta. Magenta. It could be magenta. You want to know what's hysterical? Then a light blue. I mean, you want to know what's hysterical? Is my wife literally today, yesterday, told me,

we need less pillows. Guess what? Love you, honey. We're getting another pillow. All right. Why do you have so many pillows? I'm a big pillow boy. Got it.

I love, I'm a big pillow guy. Pillows and socks. Baby. And apparently minor league baseball hats. A ton of those. But yeah, go check out the merch. The first time I'm seeing this. So my reaction was legitimate.

Yeah, baby. We got the new. I'd like to think yes. So if I'm the one with my idiot tongue out, you're definitely, oh, the hair flip. Yep, there it is. The hair flip. That gave it away.

Yeah. That's you. And don't say it. You know what you got? I whistle a lot. That's why it's like that. Do you, I've never heard you whistle. I've heard you do this.

What is that? A poor excuse for a whistle. That's what it is. I can whistle. Go check these out at shop.Sanagato. I don't even know. And what is it? Sanagastudios.shop.

No, that's not it. Shop.Sanagastudios.com. You're all right. I love these. I'm going to take their large. It's all right. I've lost 11 pounds. I could do it.

There you go, babe. You know, it's all right. I'm doing it. Which one are you going to throw on? Man, I'm not even kidding. I'm very excited. I'm sweating right now. Are you?

I'm not. This is not a bit. I picked the coral or something. I like the, I like the coral. Salmon. Salmon, cool. Same thing. Yeah.

I like this. This kind of matches my outfit today. We are always and forever fronking through a field. I got to say there. Yeah. You scared me at the start. You were talking about people say like, what if we're not friends off-screen?

And I was like, Right. Fucking, oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It scared me. It's okay. It went, it went a good pleasant route. Pleasant surprise.

Really glad we did this before the Patreon episode because you're going to hate me before that one, which you can go find at patreon.com slash the basement yard. Oh, I forgot. I was being surprised today too. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You are being surprised today.

So don't look, don't look over here, bitch. What are you? Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Listen, normally I do it during the ad reads, but I'm going to tell you right now at the top of the show, at the fucking top of the show, I want to make sure that I tell you about patreon.com slash the basement yard.

Well, you could support us. Now listen, all you got to do is jump to the left, shake that hand, jump to the right, shake that hand, meet some friends, tie some yards that, and then you go and join the Patreon. All right. Patreon.com slash the basement yard.

You send it for that first tier. You get these weekly episodes a week in advance. That second tier, guess what? Exclusive episodes every single Friday, where you can see Joey hate me because of the things I have to put him through. Sometimes, sometimes maybe not. Either way, go figure it out.

Patreon.com slash the basement yard. That was, that was nice, dude. You like that? Do you want me to, do you want me to take it off and put it on? Not on camera, bitch. Oh, get, hop off, hop off, hop on on. Hop off and pop off.

Hop off and pop off. Hop off and pop off. You like that? I didn't not, I didn't not. You know what I mean? That was nice. Good for you. All right.

I'm just going to narrate this. Frank's popping it off. He's, what are you doing? Pretty good. Oh, you went for the blue. Guys, you went for the blue. God bless. Go get it.

Shop.SanagawaStudios.com. Is that it? We're going to find out. Shop.SanagawaStudios.com. Oh, that is exactly it folks. Also shout out to everyone buying all the merch. Yeah. You know, the, the fucking,

what's it called? The, the windbreakers. A lot of people bought those. So we appreciate you guys. Those are amazing. Look at this. Two best friends. Now it's, I don't, it's, it's memorized.

It is forever on that. It is etched into a shirt forever. So you gave up on the word. Yeah. Now I don't even know it. Memorialized. Memorialized. No, it's, it's mortalized.

Mortalized? No, I don't think that's it. Immortalized. Immortalized? I don't know about that one. They're either. Mortal combat. It's forever on a shirt.

That's what we were trying to say. Yeah. All right. What is that word? It is forever. Immortalized. Memorial, memorized. No.

What? Memorized. I don't know. Just type in it is forever and then M. I wrote immortalized and it says it to make it moral. That's not right. That's not it. That's not right.

That's also a cop out. Who wrote that? Miriam or Webster? Both of them assholes. It is forever. What's the word for? It is forever. Oh, it is forever M.

See what it auto-corrects to. Like auto-completes. It doesn't. What the fuck is this? Mormonized. Well, an Aaron Carter song popped up. I'm going to miss you forever. That's not.

Yikes. Yeah, R.I.P. Well, yeah, he did. He did. No, he did. But where's he R.I.P. R.I.P. in? Okay, don't.

I don't know. We're not really going to find out. It's all right. Either way, these are nice, man. Either way, anyway. I like a little Pac-Man design. We're little Pac-Boys. Yeah, little Pac-Boys.

We're Pac-Boys. Anyway, you know, we got. Oh, just want to, the glasses are staying on. The jacket came off. The glasses. All right. Oh my god, put them back on. I've been bullied.

Here we go. Yeah, it's all right. Big news out of the in-sale community. Well, tell me about it, Joe. Yeah. Fuck her. No, apparently the LeBron James of the in-sale community, which I assume is like, you know.

The number two. Well, yeah, if you want to go there. Well, yeah, that's where I would go. You know, as the guy that doesn't watch basketball. Right. Yeah. Um, no, but apparently the leader of the in-sale community, one of the heavy hitters got some pus.

Like the fucking captain? Yeah, like the captain of the Grand Wizard, probably. Well, that's a different organization. And one they probably maybe want to be associated with. Who knows? I don't know. So like, if the Grand Wizards, the top of the, what do they call again? The in-sales.

No, the Grand Wizard is the top of the hierarchy. Of what organization? It's on the tip of my tongue. Oh, you're not going to make me. Oh, damn it. All right. Okay. Yeah, sorry.

But anyway, like I said. He doesn't want to give away his brethren. Like I said, the, but yeah, the leader of the in-sales got some pussy. And then he like went on Twitter and was like, yo, I'm so sorry, but I can't be an in-sale anymore. This is what he tweeted. This is, this is how dramatic it got. So what's his name?

That's going to be a hard one to pronounce there. Because it's a bad word or because you just can't pronounce it? Oh, no, because it's, his name is Com, Com, Comissarge. Sarge? Sarge. Sarge is in there? Not Sarge, like Sarge. Like it's just like a name, like a foreign name that I can't pronounce.

Okay. Because I'm white. But he wrote, I feel a lot of mixed feelings about leaving the in-sale community. This is fucking sad, bro. So like this is a, like a legit collection of people. The in-sale community, bro. You can't get pussy. Jokes aside, you have spoken to, I think it was like a former in-sale

or an in-sale in other people's lives, correct? Yeah. And they don't get ass. So they like, what's the idea behind them? It's like they hate women. So they're like- Essentially. Well, they blame women for like, they think like, I'm such a catch.

I have this, this and this, but like women don't want to sleep with me and whatever. So it's like that there's like a resentment towards women. And being a part of the in-sale community, they think makes it a better opportunity for me. Yeah, I feel like that doesn't help guys. I feel like it doesn't help to be in-sale. You are digging your hole literally meters deeper. Listen, if the like goal is to get ass, whatever the opposite of in-sales are doing

is probably like where you want to go. Well, yeah, also eventually everyone gets an ass eventually. Like they get some form of ass eventually. Dude, you could fucking walk through your whole life. If the first 30 years, it doesn't matter. I'm telling you that 31st year, you're going to fall backwards into some pussy. Well, it's going to happen. Or, but who knows what you're into?

Or that too. I was just going to ask what our gay in-sales called, but we figured that out. There's no gay in-sales. Yeah, homophobes. Oh, maybe. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. There's no gay in-sales that gays are fucking. Well documented sex machines.

Yeah, well, they know what I have fun. Well, listen, he says, I feel a lot of mixed emotions about leaving the in-sale community. While it feels good to no longer be an in-sale, dude loved the pussy that he got. While it feels good. While it feels good. That's like a little Easter egg.

Like this was fucking awesome. Fire, sweet. He's like, I'm going to miss all the friends and connections I've made. To all of you who have supported me over the years, thank you. I start a new chapter in my life. Yikes. This is like... That's the most backhanded way to leave a shitty organization.

It's like, listen, man, I appreciate you guys supporting me in the fact that I hated women and didn't get ass, but now I've got some ass. Peace out. Yeah, also, but this was the most fun I've ever had hating women and not getting ass. People were tight. I would assume so.

Yeah, the in-sales were like, bro, how could you do this? One person said like, you know, you're... It's honestly disgusting that you betray your community when some chick finally settles for you. You know what's... And then he fired back. So now he's got... This is a beef.

Yeah, he's got... He's fucking like, push a tea, drink. He's like, got a new pussy, you know, made confidence. He said, well, enjoy being a virgin for some weird cause. No one wants to be an in-sale. We're not Jedi. Well, hold on a second. Do you dare offend a Jedi?

Yeah. Don't you dare, bitch. He said, enjoy being a virgin. What the fuck have Jedi done to be looped into being worse than in-sales? No, he's saying like, we're not Jedi. It's like, people don't want to be us. Like, you don't want to be an in-sale. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Someone else said... A lot of people would say you don't want to be a Jedi because of the way that it makes you, you know, basically remove yourself from any romantic attractions, but that's neither here nor there, Joey. Shut up. Another person, which judging by their Twitter picture,

I would assume there's not a whole lot of ass being had, said, why do you leave? Did you manage to stop being an in-sale? And so then do you feel no longer being identified with so many sad depressed men out there? Imagine if normal people are clueless and careless about being a virgin past 20... Okay, this is now, I don't even know what this means.

You know what's hysterical? What the fuck? You know what is absolutely hysterical? What? They're upset at him for leaving the community as if any of the people in this in-sale community would not do the exact same thing if one person showed them attention.

Yeah, like... That's the reason they're in there. Yeah, aren't you like trying... We're all trying to get some... It's like being in debt. You put yourself in debt, like you get put in debt because it happens through life, but then like if you get an opportunity

to get yourself out of debt, you're taking that bitch. Yeah, he was actually a moderator for in-sales.is, which is a web forum that has over 20,000 registered users. So he was like leading the pack here, and then he just fucking, you know, whatever. One person said one taste of pussy pie, and a man will turn his back on his friends just like that. Well, when you describe it as pussy pie...

Pussy pie, which sounds, you know... I'm not a pie fan. Well, if you put some whipped cream on it, it is a pie, you know? That's actually a really good point. Or if you put some whipped cream in, it is a pie. It's a cream pie. You're goddamn right at this. Boy, this is a public video.

Just saying. Well, this is getting demonetized. Yeah, well, it's okay. Another person just called him a traitor. You know, so there's a lot of, there's, you know... So this is, this is huge. I mean, is this a win for like normal people? Or is this a loss?

Like what is this? Who values this more? I feel like the in-sales are more valued, because clearly they needed a leader, and this guy was leading the pack. How do you lead that pack, by the way? Like go out there and just hate women today. I think that you just have to be a good speaker,

you know what I mean? So then technically, either of us could be a leader in the in-sale community. No, we've had, you know, regular sex. I know, but I'm saying like, if you just need to be a good speaker, if that's all it takes. No, you also need to not have sex.

And also hate women. For not having sex with you. Damn, do you think the woman that... But if you've been having regular sex for years. Do you think the woman that like, do you think... Oh. Here's my psychopathy coming out. This is not going to be good, is it?

Do you think he like, used his status in the in-sale community to like, help him get laid? He's like, yo, I'm so popular. He's like, fuck you, I'm the biggest in- Yeah, like yo, I am the LeBron James of in-sale. Yeah, and the girl's like, damn, dude. She's like, wow, that's crazy. You're number two.

Like, that's a lot of fucking versions. That's a... That you lead. Everyone likes a leader. Everyone does like a leader. You think he uses cloud, and she's like, you remember how like, I told the story when I was in middle school.

I told girls that I didn't dance anymore. Supply and demand. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, let's not get into how... Don't compare to that. Do you think maybe this guy was just like, I'm the most powerful in-sale in the world, and there's no one that can take me from it?

And this woman was just like, oh yeah? Right. And she just showed the power, the power of the... I think that they're so upset because it just shows how fragile the in-sale community is. Well, we knew that. They're standing on fucking shaky ground, babe. Dude, one pussy pie will knock this whole operation into space.

If you put any in-sale in this room, no matter how much they swear they hate, because think about it, the inclusion in the in-sale community... But if a woman was like, I'm gonna fucking throttle your balls. Bro, if fucking tomorrow, Jennifer Aniston... Sorry, JLo. Whoa!

Whoa! Sorry. What are you trying to get to? I'm trying to just think of women that you find attractive. If they were to go up to any in-sale and be like, I will fucking... I will mash your potatoes right now. Yeah, I'll torch it up.

I will fucking... I will drive stick. Yeah. They'll be like, yeah, of course. I mean, maybe they wouldn't, though. They have too much pride, you know? The humor... They love their communities.

Clearly. You know what we should do? I don't love my community. I know. All the in-sales, put them in like a community. You could put a dome on it, bars, shackles, whatever. Put all the in-sales in there. Yeah.

And let them live amongst their community. See how much they like it. It could be guarded by like, fence, barbed wire. I don't think they want that. I think they just want women to acknowledge the fact that they're the problem. When like, that's not going to happen. Also, because it's not true.

Because they're not the problem. Because they're not the problem. Yeah. The hilarity behind the whole idea. Like, I was watching a... I think I've actually brought this up before, but like, I was watching a Jordan Klepper when he does like those like, you know,

he goes out and he speaks to like the Trump people. And one woman was like, no, if a woman was a president, she would start a war like this. All the hormones. And then he was like, haven't all wars been started by men? Yeah. And she's like, I don't care. It's just like the complete lack of regard

that you need to have and understanding. Maybe the fact that you consider yourself in an in-cell community is part of the reason that you're not attractive. Yeah, that's probably why. Or any guy that's like, I have so much to offer. Like, I don't understand why girls don't want me. It's like, there it is.

That's why, bucko. Right there. Fuck women. Why don't they want me? Start, repeat yourself one more time. Yeah, that too. But yeah, this is a very sad day, man. I just want to say that like, you know,

I'm thinking about, I'm praying for you guys. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers, for sure. TNPs. You know, I hope you're all doing well. That's kind of, I hope you all get asked. My thing is like, bro, if I'm an in-cell, at a certain point, I'm like, well, I'm just going to hire a woman of the night

to like really set it off for me. No, but that probably like further solidifies their beliefs. Because what are you just saying the other day that what they believe in is like, no, like they obviously have a lack of understanding of what it is to fucking be a halfway decent person. So if they were to go, Women?

No, you idiot, the in-cells. Almost got you. No, nice try. So if you were to say like, oh, go buy a woman of the night, they'd be like, oh, so that's what I have to do. If I just have money and I fucking pay for it, they'll fucking, all the in-cells. People do it all the time.

Yeah, but that would just further prove their point. Their point that like they're saying like, They just need a taste. That's all it is. Give him a taste of that sweet nectar. Just give him a taste. You gave this guy a little taste. What do you do?

He shut down the whole fucking thing. He retired. This guy fucking took one bite of that apple and put his snake all in Eve. That's what I'm saying. Well, I don't know. That's not how that went. I think the snake didn't go inside Eve.

Obviously, I'm not religious, Joey. So I don't know that well. Do you know the story behind Adam and Eve? Yeah. Go ahead. It's also, let's say it, misogynistic. Is it? Yeah.

Oh, like story. Like a dumb woman. Yeah. The story is that like Adam and Eve were there and God was like, yo, don't fucking, don't you dare. Eat the apple. Don't you dare eat that apple. Yeah.

Which honestly, I can avoid apples at all costs. Not too much of an enticing fruit, if you ask me. Yeah. Throw a peach in there though. I'm starting some original sin with that peach. Some cherries? Yeah. Hello.

Ew. Yeah. So the snake, there was a tree, an apple orchard, you know, with a guy, the snake was like, yo, come on, like fucking, it's so sweet. It's so good. Yeah. And Eve was like, come on, let's fucking, you know,

like, let's be bad. And Adam was like, all right, your temptation is going to make me want to, all right, fine. If you said it, I'll do it. And then bit the apple. And then God was like, are you fucking kidding me? I said, I gave you one thing. Yeah.

You know, that's original sin is that I thought original sin is like we were birthed and he died for our sins. Wait, what? I thought your original sin is like everyone is born with original sin because God died for your sin. So you have to like make it up to him. No, I don't.

Jesus died for your sins. I thought original sin was like, we're going to be sinners in this life. We don't have to be perfect. Oh, I don't know. You would know better than I would. So there's a better chance that you're correct and then I am the idiot here.

What is original sin? The OG sin. It sounds like a really cool fucking rap album from 2006. I'll tell you that. Original sin is the Christian doctrine that holds that humans through the fact of birth inherit a tainted nature in need of regeneration and proclivity to sinful conduct.

So like we're, no, I'm saying it's innate in all humans and they're like understanding that. Because Jesus died for our sin. Because that bitch Eve ate the apple. Gee, do you think Adam was an incel or that snake? I thought they were related. I think they were the first of their kind. And then that's how we're all like, you know, they called...

We're all descendants of Adam and Eve. Well, priests are like, oh, my brothers and sisters. And it's like, wait, are we all related? That's why there were so many hunchbacks back then because they were all just coming from the same parents. Yo, wait, there was a lot of hunchbacks. I think so, weren't there? Well, I thought I only know of two.

Quasimodo. That's one. And then the dude from 300. Yeah, but he was in Greece. Adam and Eve were not. That's true. That's... Where was Adam and Eve?

I thought they were in like Jerusalem. Oh, well, I don't know. Are they? There was no Americans there. They would have been like, can I get a burger? Well, take it from that tree. Fucking buffalo wings. Oh, shit, dude.

All right. They wouldn't be called Adam and Eve. They'd be called like fucking like bro, bro. I'm going to save you before you keep going. Because that sucks. Bro, bro, it's going to eat his tongue. It'd be called Blake and fucking Stephanie. The new Adam and Eve.

I tried to help you and then you still went with that shit. Adam and Eve, do you know anything else about religion? You know Noah's Ark and shit? Do you know what you should do? Yeah. Oh, put together like a religious test. Put together a religious test for me. Yeah.

And watch me fail very hard. You know Noah? I know Noah. He had his Ark. Yeah. The Great Flood. OK. The Great Flood.

He brought two of every kind of animal. Right. Did we need all of them? No. Did we need two fleas? Did he bring two fleas? Did he bring two possums? We can keep those fucking little pieces of shit.

We can drown them. Yeah, that I could have done without. Also, the fact that like, you know, how could you bring two fleas? You know what I'm saying? How does he catch a fly? You know how hard it is to catch a fly, dude? How's Noah catching flies? Realistic.

They didn't have bug catchers back then. So you know how to use their fucking like weird ass hands? How long? Here's a question for you. How long do you think a bird can fly before it gets too tired? And it's like, I just got to sit. Bro, I've heard of this. Birds can fly for like 10 hours or something.

And then they have to like chill. Damn. There was like a bird that like flew across the Atlantic. And it's like the longest recorded. What? Yeah, it's like the longest recorded flight ever. Well, they can sit in the water. Bro.

What? Sit in the water? Yeah, for a second. You're fucking second. If you're flying 10 hours, you need to sit for longer than a second, Joey. Well, I'm saying like you could you could take a break. I'm saying no breaks. Yeah, you could take a break,

but that's like putting a fucking loaded gun in your mouth. How how how? Sharks. Oh, oh, yeah. Well, killer whales. I know, I know. But you got to get other man eating mammals. The fucking ocean is vast and big.

Like you just get they're going to sit down on top of a fucking shark's head. Dick head. They're fucking they have sonar and shit in their head so they can detect shit. Sharks. Yeah, those are whales. No, all of them. Sharks. If you fucking put a drop of blood in an ocean, who's bleeding?

They're just birds. Well, what if they what if they have a little poop in their stool? I mean, blood in their stool or something. I don't know who's pooping birds, Joey. You think they're going like, all right, let me take a 10 hour bird shit while they're in flight. So they're going to be shitting and the sharks are going to go there. And then they're going to sit down. They don't sit down in the water and shit in the water.

Joey, they land in the water and they ruffle it up a little bit. And then the fucking marine life, they're like, what the fuck was that? That's what they do. You think I'm stupid here? Yeah. No, I'm not. How many times do you see birds? Bro.

Duck. Uh, go ahead. Go ahead. That's why they literally say sitting duck as a euphemism. No, that's for hunters. Tomato, tomato, Joey. You think sharks aren't hunters? They're down there.

They're eating other stuff. Plankton and other. You think sharks are eating plankton, you stupid idiot? I don't know. No, they're not. Whales eat plankton. They do. They suck it in.

Yeah. Yeah. I want to get eaten by a whale. I kind of wish I would, but only if I could like light a fire in there and like stay alive, you know? This isn't Pinocchio. I know. But I feel like a whale's teeth look like paintbrushes. They do.

It's like little like, it's like, yeah. It's exactly what it is. It's like a car wash. I can get in like clean me on the way in. You know what I mean? It was like brush over me. You want to get like sucked off by a whale. Who said that?

That's what you're saying. Didn't say that. You say you wanted to clean you and brush over you. How does that equate to me getting sucked off by a whale? You also just had a car wash. You want to go through it. That's not getting sucked off. You want it like your body sucked off.

Not like your wiener, dude. Whales will fucking, they'll suck the wiener right off you. I want to get shot out of a blow hole. Damn. Again. Our hole, our blow hole is big enough. Remember how you said I was not in Pinocchio? Fucking you neither.

Yeah. Yeah. But I do want to get shot out of a blow hole. Are they big enough for us? I don't know though. It's just like a back vagina. And I don't know if I want to do that. You think we get shot.

Do you think like, watch this. If I was, no. If I was getting swallowed by a whale. Yeah. At the same time that it like smelled some pepper or whatever and really got a sneeze going. And then I like came out. You think that's something to smell pepper?

Oh, I don't know. That's what I do in all the cartoons. They have to sneeze, right? Doesn't everything sneeze? Well, the blow hole, I think the food and the air go in different places, Joey. I know, but sometimes we make mistakes. You ever have like corn in your sinus or whatever?

It had a rice, rice, not corn. I hate rice in my, I have carrots in my sinuses all the time. Carrots. Yeah, chewed up carrots. How big are your sinuses? How big are yours, Joey? You, I chewed fucking carrots down to rice size. Okay.

Do you think my body could fit out of a blow hole? No. How big is a whale's blow bag? Don't say blow bag, it's not that. The blue whale has a blow hole that measures 40 and 50 centimeters in diameter. Centimeter. So 2.54 centimeters is an inch. So that's about 20 inches.

Okay, 50 centimeters. Let's just do this two inches right now. It's like 25 inches. 20 inches. Okay. No way, Joey. Yeah. No, I mean they stretch, they are stretchy.

Yeah, they're like butts, right? What's the widest part of your body? Your shoulders? Probably. What do you think that is across? More than 20. More than 20. I would say.

Wait, what's 20? Yeah. I would say it's probably like 25, 26. Bro, I could probably get out of it if I do this. If I do this, I can get out of a blow hole. Yeah, but if I'm in a pencil. If you're, if you're, yeah. I could definitely get my head out of a blow hole.

This isn't 20 inches. Definitely not 20 inches. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Dude, I can get shot out of a blow hole. I don't think you can. Dude, I've, you blow hole me. What?

Yeah. That should be a ride out like Disney. Step on in, get in the whale's mouth, and it blow holes you out of there. I don't know if that. Into the deep end. That's got to be considered animal cruelty or something. Not an actual whale, it's fucking Disney.

It's fake. Oh, okay. It's a time, it's a Pinocchio ride. You're welcome. But did they come out of the, no, they didn't come out of the blow hole in Pinocchio. They came out of the mouth. He sneezed, didn't he?

Who? The whale? I don't know. What was his name? The whale in Pinocchio? He had a name? Yeah. Gargantua or something?

That's not right. Whale in Pinocchio name. Monstro. Monstro. That's right. That's right. Monstro. Oh shit.

He had a, yeah, but he had a big mouth. Damn, I forget about this movie. He had mad teeth. This is fake. That shit was wild. Monstro, bro. Monstro spit. I think he like sneezed and spit them out or something.

Yeah. Damn, this is bringing back memories, just seeing this like picture. Fucking Monstro, bro. When was the last time you watched Pinocchio? The original? Not that long ago. We put them on for the kids to watch.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. It's, I don't think you would do well. Why don't we shoot you had a cannon? And you could fall into that big net. No, that's different, bro. It's not as cool. Why?

That's so cool. No, I don't know. I would be shot out of a cannon if I can land in a net. You want to get shot out of a cannon? I would, I would think that's pretty cool. I think I would be pretty good at it too. How could you be good at being shot out of a cannon?

Because there's, you need to like learn when to like spin and stuff like that. Spin. Like flip, Joey. What do you think you're going to land on your feet? No, Michelle Kwan. You land on your back. You land on your back.

Yeah, in the net. Whatever. We should do like jackass style, like shoot you out of a cannon. I'm not doing that. What do you, what are you about to say? Shoot you out of a cannon into a lake. Yeah.

See, now who's, no, no, no. We should get a blob. We should do the blob. Yeah. And those are fucking terrifying. I, I've always seen them in every, what was the first movie you saw blobbing and it made you want to do it?

Heavy weights. Damn right, baby. I want to do one of those so, so bad. Yeah. But I'd be scared to have two real big dudes jump on the bed. Yeah. And no one in this office is like real big. So like, I mean, you won't go flying, Joey.

We're grown ass men. Dude, I'll definitely go flying. Think so? Bro, yes. The blobs are huge. Let's go paintballing. Can we stay on one thing? Okay.

The blob. Let's shoot. Oh, you remember Jackass? Yeah. That's why I said it, Joey. Oh, they went duck hunting. That was good. We have it.

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We're always looking for dads. So you go give the gift of us for your dad or father figure. Right? Right. Patreon.com. That's just baiting me on. Yeah.

Anyway, what? Oh, what? What? I don't know. Stop. Stop. Elephant shit. Shit.

Okay, good. Anyway, we're going to kick off this, you know, the second part of this episode with a heartwarming story out of Indonesia. A man is to undergo surgery after fracturing his penis. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah, while performing a notoriously risky sex position,

which is? I know what it is. I was going to ask you, but you looked it up and you took the whole fucking joy out of it. Oh, okay. Yeah, you stupid bitch. Well, no, I don't know what it is. I just pulled up the...

Oh, okay. What would you say is the most risky slash possibly dangerous sex position? I mean, is it something I'm going to know? I thought it was going to have a name. I'm not going to tell you to name like... Like the flying flower or something. Yeah, no, it's not going to be like, you know,

like a Cupid's dung. Cupid's dung? Yeah. Well, that sounds like an anal. I know it does. That's why I said it. Yeah, but at least there's love. Cupid.

There's love in the butt. By the way, you know what this is called? The navel? The... Do you think this is a navel? Is it not? All right. I guess not.

What's this? Belly button. That's the navel. Oh. Isn't it? So what is this? That's the Cupid's bow. That's stupid.

Yeah, I don't know. This would make more sense as being called the navel. Why? Below your nose. What does that mean? Adjacent the nose. But what does navel... How does it do with noses?

They're both N. Oh, nasal. Nasal, navel. No. I'm not... Bits over. Never legitimately thought that was the navel. Yeah.

Wait. Why is it called the Cupid's bow? Because Cupid hit that fucking idiot with that right there. Maybe. Maybe it's like kissing. Like, you know, you pull back. Yeah, who kisses there? That sucks.

You don't kiss there, but it's like, you know, this is the bow. Oh! When you go like this, it looks like a bow. No, your mouth is a bow, I think. And like, you're... This is the string. And this is the arrow. You know?

Shut the fuck up. No, I'm serious. You're fucking with me. This is my guess. I don't know. Oh, okay. I thought this was mine. But I'm saying, you know how a bow and arrows is like...

I've shot a bow and arrow at you. It's tough. Very good at it. But like, this would be the arrow, and then you pull back. I don't know. No, you don't shoot him up, Joey. You shoot him out. I would say that because this looks like a bow.

How it's like the M. Okay. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, it left him with eggplant phallus. Okay. Whoa, yikes. You never guessed what the sex position was.

It's the one that I know. What is it? No, I'm asking. That is something I would know. I know what it is. It's one of the regular ones. It's one of the like, you know, 10 that you could probably name.

Can you name 10? Probably not. Give me 10. Drop down and give me 10, Joey. Uh, mish dogs. Mish dogs, cows, reverse cows. Mish dogs, cows, reverse cows. It's like the spooning one.

Were you laying next to each other? Yeah. That one seems like... I call... When I think of that, I think of Titanic. Yeah, but that's the dead old piece. Well, they're not dead. They're about to die.

They were actually the heirs to the Macy's kingdom. Not a kingdom. Kingdom. You know what I'm talking about. What is this? England. Mish dogs, cow, reverse cow. Next.

Oh, the spoon. Give me five more. What are you doing? You're just naming wrestling moves at this point? Standing stuff. Standing stuff. Don't think that's what it's called, but okay. But you know, like standing stuff.

Hmm. One leg. You're just... It's like different versions of missionary kind of. Oh, like the one leg is like down and like the other person's like one of these. Like this is a vagina right here. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Do it one more time. Yeah, dude. That's the vagina. What's it? What is it? Wait, what?

What is it named again? I don't know. Where one leg is down and the other... Oh, don't you fucking... Oh, what was that? Don't get me to fucking do that. So close. Um, but yeah.

I don't know other than that was okay. There's... There's gotta be like scissoring. That's us. That's not a sexual position. Why not? Why couldn't it be? Because I have a penis.

It's a sexual position. Why? I have a penis. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It could be... It's a sexual position. You're not the only sex that's happening. 69.

69 is... Standing 69. Standing 69. Tough to pull off. I guess those are mouth sex. Sex. Yeah, you're right. All right.

Whatever. So what do you think is the most risky slash dangerous? Oh, dude. Riding. Duh. The fuck? I think that's my answer. I think...

Riding, you just said. Did I? I didn't say that. You said cow and reverse cow. Oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Wow, what the hell's wrong with me? But I would say probably it's gotta be a cow.

Because that's the only one where I feel like I've gotten like kind of hurt. Really? Not hurt, but I was like... Oh, you've had your bits mushed into kebabs. Well, but like sometimes it comes out and then it hits the leg and it's like it just kind of like does that. Oh! You know, it kind of like...

Ew! You know? No. Does it ever happen to you? I know that I can think of. Maybe. Maybe it has. I don't...

That's the last thing on my mind in the middle of coitus. Yeah, it's the last thing on my mind too, but the fact that it happens, it very much becomes on my mind. It just happened to my winner. Fair enough. But what do you say? What's your... What is the most risky sexual position?

I would say probably cows. Close. Reverse cow. Reverse cow though. Yeah, because apparently like the angle and stuff can like lead the pelvic bone to like crushing a penis. Like it slips out and then that pelvic bone just comes back down and just fucking goes. There's a... It depends.

There's a couple of different ways. Like there's one where it's like, you know, almost like... Show me. You want me to get on the table? I'll ride you. Um, no, but it's... Why am I the one being ridden here? Okay, you can ride me then.

Okay. Oh, I thought you would want to be... I don't want to be in the receiving or giving end of your fucking ass or penis. Contrary to gay Twitter, I don't want to have sex with you. They think you want to nail me. Yeah, they also think that you want to nail me. Yeah, they do too. Anyway.

Oh, okay, so let me just go. The freak accident occurred while the unnamed 37 year old male was reportedly having intercourse in the reverse cow girl position in which the woman is on top facing away from her partner. Thanks for writing that in. Just in case you didn't know how it was. Look at this. According to TikTok doctor... That's a thing that we're citing now in news websites.

According to TikTok doctor, whatever. Karen Raj, this is the most... The world's most dangerous pleasure pose. Responsible for a whopping 50% of fractures. I didn't know you could fracture your yang. Well, it's gotta be like... It's not a fracture, like a traditional fracture because there's no bone in there. It's just...

It's just fucking muscle, right? But like, you can like, hear a muscle. I guess. You pull a hammy, you know? Can you pull a... Cocky? You say weenie. Well, yeah.

Apparently, the man heard a loud cracking sound, followed by pain, discomfort, and immediate loss of erection. Oh no, oh no. Yeah, he was bleeding out of the tip of his penis. Oh no. And found himself unable to urinate. So how did he pee? He had to like, fucking...

Poke like a pen through his fucking bladder and like... Like a needle? ...leak it out. Yeah, you gotta like, funnel it out. I don't know. That sucks. Yeah, I don't know, man. I didn't even know that there was like a dangerous sex position.

If it meant... You can... You're dating Jennifer Aniston. Okay. But every time you had sex... I broke my shit. You broke your... Jamie.

I mean, I... Would you... Would you do it? Probably once. Oh, that's it? What am I gonna do? Continuously break my dick for the rest of the night? I don't know.

I don't know your love for Jennifer Aniston. Bro, it's not worth bleeding out of my penis. And not being able to pee. I love peeing. You do. You are a big pee-pee boy. I like peeing. You also love pooping.

You... What did you say to me when I got in here? Said, I gotta go chift. Ask him. Ask him. Right now. Ask him. I gotta go chift.

That's what you said. I didn't say chift. You did say shit. I was... I was... Yeah, but that's not me going out of my way. All right. So what do you want me to say?

Can I use the little boys' room? By the way, why is that a thing? Yeah, why is the bathroom only for little boys? Yeah, it's like, oh, I gotta go to the little girls' room. I gotta go to the little boys' room. It's like, ew, this is kind of like disgusting. Only freaks say that, yeah. But why...

But where does that stem from? Like, why is it a little boys' room? I have no clue. I absolutely... It's gotta be like a derogatory thing when girls would be like, I have to go to the ladies' room and guys would be like, oh, you're going to the little ladies' room? Yeah, but they say little boys.

I'm going to use the little boys' room. I've only heard little girls' room. It always kind of grosses me out to do that. It is a little weird. I will say though, and I don't know if you can remember or attest to this, but like, when we were in elementary school, the most dangerous place in... What?

What happened? By the way, you laughing prematurely? Still is a form of interrupting me. So I'm angry, but I want to hear why. Why you're laughing? I'm an idiot. And I wanted to know the origin of little boys' rooms. Did you write like, where did little boys' room come from?

I just wrote little boys' room. It's like car beds and fucking... Pottery barn, like little boys' room. Things to like... Yeah, maybe don't look up the origin of little boys' room. Oh, fuck. Probably Google that last, I would say. Okay.

That was pretty stupid. Yeah, I can't. But when we were in elementary school, the most dangerous place in that building was the boys' bathroom. Yeah. And like, you would walk and see, like, if you like, were in there and your boy also came in there. It was over.

It was a night fucking course. Did you ever... When you went to the bathroom in elementary school, did you ever like, ball up a bunch of like... Yeah, a bunch of toilet paper and wet it and throw it against the ceiling? Yes, absolutely. A hundred times out of a hundred. Our bathroom every time.

Yeah. Our bathrooms in elementary school were not redone. So they were like there from when the school had like, first opened in the 20s. Right. So it had like, that like, ceramic trough. Yes. You remember that?

I do. And let me tell you something. That thing was filled with piss. Because someone would clog the fucking drain in the middle, fill it with pee, and then, you know, with the janitors, poor janitors would have to fucking fish it out, sink it out. I've walked into that bathroom.

I remember I was like scarred. I walked into that bathroom and there was just a pile of shit in the middle of the floor, not even close to the fucking toilet. And like, it's funny, they were kind of like prison bathrooms. They were. Like the windows were caged. Caged? Legitimately.

Like, you couldn't like, turn the water on and leave it on. You had to like, hit it and like fucking like, and like get under and wash your hands really quick. By the way, can I say something? Yes, you can. It's a podcast. It's what we do. Automatic. Automatic sinks.

Fuck you. Fix the technology or fuck off. The biggest scam. I'm doing this. Yeah. Just turn the water. I would like to just do that. I'm literally there begging this water to like.

Please. I'm like, just anyone. I'm like Oliver Twist. I'm like, I still have soap. Please. And then I pull it out and it fucking goes. And I'm like, oh fuck. And I have to go back in.

Yeah. I'm like, please sir, let me get some more water. And then it's piping hot most of the time. Yeah. And then also the fucking bro, even worse than that. Now my hands are soaking wet and I'm trying to get paper towels. No, those aren't that bad. I've had better luck with those.

Bro, not like a TSA agent. My least favorite. Patten this thing down trying to get some fucking towels. My hands are soaked. My least favorite and they have it here is when they have, they don't have paper towels because they're like, oh, the earth really wants to breathe. And they only have the fucking like the dryers.

Yeah. Do you stick your hands in? I like those. Those are cool. The Dyson ones. Yeah. But like the ones that they have here and the air comes out of it like this. Yeah.

It's telling us whispering. It's like, come on. So then I just end up drying my fucking hands on my pants. Yeah. Savage. Yeah. But I don't know if there was a, when I was in middle school, again, boys bathroom was, if you walked in and your boy was there,

you were there for at least 10 minutes. You guys are talking, shooting the shit, breaking stuff. Taking shits. I did it again. I did. But there was a kid in my middle school and I know who he was. It wasn't me. And I didn't like that he did this.

But anytime he went into the bathroom, he would pee on the toilet paper roll. That's fucked up. Fucking genius. Genius? That's so evil. No, that's chemical warfare. It is, but also hysterical.

I don't like that. It's funny. Respect the toilets. I agree. Because people that go in there are not having a good time, unless you're Joey. Joey loves it. But yeah, I agree.

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and free gummies. So there you go folks, go check that out. And yeah, what were you just talking about by the way? Oh, boys' bathrooms. Boys' bathrooms. Do you remember the first time you went to a girls' bathroom? No.

You never did? I think I have, but... I 100% have. I know, but like with my mom, like as a kid. Oh, I'm talking about like... I've accidentally almost walked into girls' bathrooms. I think I did. Oh, I've accidentally been like fully in the middle of the bathroom

being like, where's the ur- oh. Yeah, I was looking for urinals. But there was ur- what did I just say? Urinals. Yeah, but I didn't- there was no one in there. Anytime I was in a girls' bathroom, there weren't girls in there. Bro, they need to figure out girls' bathrooms. Ladies' bathroom, women's bathroom.

I mean, I guess technically- Little girls' bathrooms. No, like, you know, they need to figure out. Because the design and like, I imagine that everything going on in there, like anytime you go to a game, anywhere, a public event, the women's bathroom is 10 times longer of a line. It's like they need to figure it out. Give them more space in there.

Well, they have to sit down pee-pee. Yeah, but like, give them more space. Give them more- give them more stuff though. It's easier for them to get in and out. They just need more st- they probably have more stalls than men do. Yeah, but not enough, clearly. Guys, they literally will just put like a fucking bucket in a room. And guys will be like, I'm good.

You know? I hate those bars though. Like, sometimes you get a bars and it's like, it's just like a trough with ice. I'm pissing with ice. I never understood that. I don't know, but I do like melting ice with my pee. I do like melting ice with my pee. I do like shooting my pee at pretty much anything.

Yeah. You know, they should make all urinals that like carnival game, where you could piss into a hole and make like a, you know, like a clown's head explode or something. I don't know. It's like, you get a little like stuffed animal after. Yeah. There's a carny there and he's like, step right up.

Oh, pee into his hole. I'll give you a stuffed animal. Do you ever do one of those carnival games, where you like throw a baseball and hit the thing? Or like, there's a dunk tank? Yeah. Yeah. I think you've ever done it.

There was a couple of years ago, maybe like eight, nine years ago, probably 10. It's rounded off there. That's not a couple of years, buddy. That's a whole decade. That's five couples. They had one at the, what's it called, fair, the fair in Astoria. Oh, on DeMars?

Yeah. And my brother spent like $80 there, because they were like, oh, baseball, I can hit this. Because, you know, the person's there, meaning to like, they hackle people. Yeah. It was like, hey, fatso, bro. If I was born to do anything on this planet,

it's that it was sitting in a dunk tank and just fucking roast people and get them to. Keith was actually in a dunk tank once. Really? He was the guy, but it was for like. Keith's too nice though. But it wasn't, you know what I'm supposed to heckle, was for children.

Oh, I would heckle the shit out of him. Because he like, he worked with, uh, like with children. And we did like the, he was like a para or whatever. And they had, at the school, they had like a fair, like a carnival. And he was the one in the dunk, dunk tank. Just hilarious. I would have roast.

If I'm ever in a dunk tank, I don't care who the clientele are. I'm going to roast every single person that walks by. Yeah, dude. If you're in first grade, don't even step up. Yeah, bro. I've had some weird run-ins with those, the carnies at like the, the festival. You've had weird run-ins with carnies?

Yeah. There was one that like, I remember because he was in, he was the star of Bum Fights. Remember Bum Fights? Bum Fights. Do you remember Bum Fights? Explain what Bum Fights is. So back in like 2005,

there was a, I totally forgot this thing existed until right now. Back in like 2005, 2006. Really like, like the internet was like the Wild West. We were just starting to figure out how to regulate this son of a bitch. Right. And there was a collection of videos on a website and it was called Bum Fights. And I think they originated as like, you remember how like Jackass originated as like,

or not Jackass, but like skating videos as like, you know, DVDs that you could find at like a fucking bodega. Yeah. You know, and it's like, oh, the best of fucking Bucky Lassic, no way. And it never existed anywhere, but in your hands in that moment. I was like Bum Fights. And it was Homeless Men. A.K.A.

I'm not going to say it. Bumps. Okay. Fighting. Right. Hence the name. Bum Fights. So it was just Homeless Fights.

The poster boy was like a white man, presumably Homeless, wiry, like brown hair, some gray mixed in. He was missing teeth and he had Bum Fights written on his. And it was like, I was walking through a carnival. The one on the, on Denmark. What was his name, right? I don't remember his name, if I'm being honest,

but it was something like normal, like Steve or, you know, like fucking like Brian. And I was like, yo, you look familiar. And he did that. And he went, oh, and it was the guy from Bum Fights. You got a picture? And I was like, no way. And he was like, yeah, I'm in, I'm, I'm so-and-so from Bum Fights. And he was like a local celebrity to me.

To you. Yeah. To me at the time. Did you pull it up? This is him. Yeah, there he is. He was a Cardi in fucking Historia, New York. This guy, you saw him?

Yeah. And I was like, yo, I'm so like, I love your work. You love his work? You said that to him? I love your homeless fight. I'm sure he said something stupid like that. Like, I think I probably first asked like, wait, aren't you homeless? And then I think that's the point is like,

he travels with like the company that did like those carnival things. Wow. And I don't remember how we got here. But yeah, that was my run-in with what's his name from Bum Fights. I typed in Bum Fights into Google Images and there's a video apparently that says Dr. Phil kicks the creator of Bum Fights office show. So it wasn't really well received even back then. And that's Dr. Phil.

I could imagine. I mean, all those, remember there was like all those like video like Bum Fights, fucking Girls Gone Wild, like- Yeah. What was the one that Kimbo Slice started on? It was just like people filming fights in a backyard. Money talks? Something like that, right?

I don't know. I don't know. But I remember those Kimbo fights. Yeah. And you'd find the videos on Limewire. Yeah. And you'd tell all your friends about them. And there would be like a fight and then it'd be like pouring in between it.

Like it was just like weird shit. It was weird. It was a little weird. It like started off with the fight and then in the middle it's like just fucking people just going at it. Do you remember- Mouths, tongues. Yeah.

This reminds me of like, I mean we did this on our previous episode, but you remember back then too, I used to call it 1-800 and then something sexual. Yeah, like 1-800 like- Tit-fuck. Tit-fuck, yeah. It's a girl talking about her tits and getting fucked and whatever and it's like phone sex operators. Which, I guess it's still an industry for the incels.

It is, it is, it is. They're not breaking the rules if the incels are having phone sex. Yeah, technically that's like a cool little loophole. That is a little loophole. Just like how Mormons soak. Exactly, just like that. I think that's a way that we can, you know, maybe, maybe, you know what?

Maybe you should work for a phone sex operating line one day. I don't have the voice for that. I think you do. No. All right, I'm gonna call. No, I'm not gonna- Give me your sexiest voice. You ready?

You have to answer, Joey. You have to answer the call. Hello? No, come on. They're supposed to answer sexy. Not like you're- No, I just told you- Not like you just found out your fucking dog died.

Hello? That's- You think that's sexy being pissed off? I'm not trying to be sexy right now. I can't be sexy right now. Give me a little sexy. No. All right, call me.

Call me. Now the number. Ring, ring, ring. Wait, what would be the line for me? 1-800-SEXY-AS. I think I have a nice butt. No. Okay.

Ready? Ring, ring, ring. Hello? Hello? Yeah. Yeah. You're the service. Oh, that's right.

You have to call me. That's right. I mean, I'm calling you. No, no, no. You call me again. You got it. All right, I got this. I got this.

Ring, ring, ring. Hello? Hello? Yeah. Hey, what's up? Oh, nothing. Just looking for some phone sex. Nice.

You can fucking do anything you want to me as long as you give me your credit card number. That's what they asked for. Yeah, they do. That's what they want. They say like, you know, like give it to me. All right, so I'm going to give it to you. Okay.

5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5. Oh, I thought you were really. Oh, yeah. I'm going to just give you my freaking credit card. I don't know. Oh, all right. Let me run that. All right.

So what do you want to do? Oh, tell me what you want to do to me. Well, no, my body is your playground. Oh, you can. My name is Jim. Hey, Jim. Jungle Jim. Oh, hey, jungle.

Jungle Jim. You can climb me and slide down me. Oh. Oh, I think I want to be climbed on. Oh, you want me to climb on you? Yeah. So what's your name? Blake.

It's smart. Never give your first real name. Right. But they just ran your credit card. So they have more. That's my name. Yeah. But they just ran your credit card.

I have more pivotal information. Don't give me your real name. Give me your real credit card number. I feel like phone sex is a typical thing. Have you had phone sex? Uh, I'm sure I have. I can't. Yeah, but like actual,

like I've been on the phone and like, oh, I'm going to, but like not like a session. Like let's start. I'm kissing you. Let's go here and go there. Like what do you, I don't know what you're saying. I'm too like, I'm too mad. Let's go here.

Let's go there. I'm too mad of a fact. You know what I mean? I'd be like. Frankie, like set the scene. Yeah. What's playing? Exactly how many kisses to get down to my fun face.

You know? My fun face. My fun face. That's your pubic area. That's that area right there. That's your fun face. Fun face. This one?

Not so fun. Is that what you're saying? Well, no, I think this one is the business face. This one makes me money. Right. But more importantly. Which is the not so fun. Oh, that's the, that's not fun.

That's that face back there and so fun. Yeah. That's the evil face. God. The evil eye. The evil eye. Yes. Is that your impression of your asshole?

One more time. Got it. Oh, that's it. Frank's asshole is the guy from Bumfights. I can't believe you don't remember his name. That's so fucked up. I know. I wish.

I'm sure. Look, a couple of Google searches. We can find it. Or the creator of Bumfights. He's got to be alive somewhere, hopefully, right? No. Unless the government didn't get to him. I think I just awakened like a like 20 year old memory for people

when I just brought up Bumfights. Yeah. That's so funny. Yep. My friends, my, my, my friends in middle school and I, we used to talk about it. We'd be like, yo, did you see last week's episode? The Bumfights was crazy.

The Bumfights. Like, yeah, did you see Crazy Joe take on the maniac? It was nuts. They had names? Yeah. And now we wonder why the fucking homeless are vilified in our society. I mean, yeah. I do remember one guy in Bumfights had a golden two shop.

No, a shopping cart. Oh. And he showed up like Raven did in WWF and ECW. Yeah. And he'd take out like weapons. Yeah. Damn. I mean, hey.

God bless. Well, shout out to Bumfights. We wish everyone well, especially this guy. Especially this guy. Whoever his name is. Whoever makes the thumbnails for us, Manu, right? Yeah, but don't please. He's going to get a real kick out of that one.

I'm not going to make the title Bumfights, frankly. Oh, a clip. Oh. Just bring it up. It could be a 20-second clip. And you should be like, remember Bumfights? It could take out all this stuff where you like, you know, you said like you would remake that today to make a quick buck.

Where's that? It's in here. Watch the episode again. You guys will find it. Okay. I'm getting people back to watch a second time, Joey. Good job. Synergy.

That word doesn't apply. It's a very confusing word in business that I just... Synergy? Yeah. You don't know what it means. Not one bit. You think synergy meant making them watch it again? I just, I thought synergy was just like a blanket term for like doing things good for business.

That's what you thought synergy meant? Let me be very clear. Yeah. I swear to God, that's what I thought it was. Nope. What is it? Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't open that.

Don't open that. Don't open that. I won't. Tell me what it is. Synergy is like if we're on the same page, like the same energy. Synergy. Oh, like synergistic. What?

Like a synergistic relationship. I'm going to give you, I'm going to make sure that I'm right. But it's like, I hope you are. But like if we're on the same page, like, oh, you know, we have good synergy. Cause we're like on the same page almost. You know what I mean? It could be like, we can retake that word and make it like sinning energy. Sinning energy.

Adam and Eve, the interaction of cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect. So like a synergistic relationship. Yeah. So it's like, you help me, you help me, you help me. I was wrong. All right. I don't know business stuff all that well.

So it's not really, it's just a word in the world. It's not like, I didn't know Joey. I thought it was just business. So you're not here and you watch fucking succession and billions and you're fucking business Joe now. Okay. You have to see in the other room on the whiteboard. It's written like, can we do this exclamation point? Yes, with work.

If that was actually written in a room over there, I would lose my fucking mind. You and Greg love to have business talks like that. We don't. Yeah, you do. You're just like, oh, but can this work with the right amount of synergy? Anything is possible in this space. In this space. Just completely vague terminology.

Space. People love saying space. Oh my God. I think I said it today. Tell me about how you act, like how you like, you know. People love to say like, it's a crowded space, but you have to stand out. Yeah. Like, how do you stand out in the space with all the, you know, it's very saturated?

Well, I'll tell you this. Yeah. Can you do it? Right. That's the question we're looking for. Right. And synergy. Why, what, you know, we need to tap into being like motivational speakers.

That's the, that's the next. No, we don't. Yeah, we can. Because you know how like these motivational speakers don't ever really have a point. They just pose questions and like ways to work around those questions. Yeah. We can do that. Right.

That's what we are. I could definitely bullshit my way into a lot of stuff. I will say, then we'll get into this another time because we do have to wrap up here. But I will say I've been seeing a lot of content of just now random people wearing microphones, walking around their apartments, talking about like the right way to like approach a woman. And it's like, that's me. That content is just very weird because it's like, why is this person qualified?

Or like, here's how to like be like the characteristics that you want to apply. It's like, who is telling me this random dude? I went to school and part of my schooling was for like social sciences and understanding data collection and, you know, how to apply that and read it appropriately. So when someone says like, I saw a commercial the other day that said, let's face it, schools are having trouble keeping kids with good grades. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? Like, where does that come from?

Like, where it was like, let's face it, grades are down. And it was like, what do we have? Like, where are we getting this information from? But, you know, God bless. Yeah. We're going to find you, Frank. FAlvors8885 on Twitter, the Frank Alvors and all the fours in social media and then patreon.com.

We can sign up today and you can get us over that 20,000 leap and, you know, keep us growing. Maybe we want to go for that number one spot. Yeah. You guys are going to follow me at Joe Sandegard. I'm going to follow the show at the basement on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all also the shop.sandegardstudio.com. Go get them. Go get a pillow or something.

See, and we'll see you guys next time. This is really soft. It is, I know. I know.