The Basement Yard - #401 - Bring Back The Weinermobile

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Joe and Frank call for the return of the most famous Dog Suckin Mobile! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. How's it going? I'm alright awkward awkward opening we have here So I'm gonna get off our chest. What how are you doing? Good. Are you alright? Yes Gotcha, all's good here, baby Well, yeah, you got me I've been watching a lot of soprano. This is my pulley walnuts Okay, you thought you were gonna come here and act all somber in that shirt? Oh well, yeah, you know, I can't be sad when I'm wearing, you know, fucking. It's a move, you know?

You dress like what's his name? Like Schrader from fucking Breaking Bad. I am. I am just like, hey Schrader, the rock, the gyms! I guess you don't remember that part of the show. I don't. I can't be sad. The summer is starting and it's farting.

The summer is starting and definitely farting. The summer is farting, all right? And burping. Come on. Burping up dogs, maybe. What's more acceptable to you? You ever burp up a hot dog? Yeah, and it's not that bad.

I have to say, I've burped up way worse and swallowed way worse. Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. One more. No, one more time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Same so like when they're like oh my god, the food is repeating on me. I'm like pump That's a common that's a common saying the food is repeating on me Yeah, like people that have like you know like acid reflux weak ass people that have acid reflux like old losers that have fucking heartburn old people Pregnant people. Yeah. Oh my god Becca what she was pregnant had heartburn such a loser I know dude. They make it seem like it's so hard. Oh my god. I mean come on your body is built for it right?

How difficult can it be it's not that crazy?. Oh my god. I mean come on your body's built for it right how difficult can it be It's not that crazy. This is a joke. I want to make sure I say Make sure I say that I do too many cameos about people saying like their babies on the way Joe um Yeah, I'm not they say like when food repeats on you It's like you ate it and you're burping it and you're tasting it again and again and again Yeah, not upset about that with doggies. Yeah, with doggies, little doggies.

Little doggie babes. Puppies, puppies in a blanket. Puppies. I can't tell you, there's no bad way to have a dog. Hot dog. Hot dog bowl. Hot dog, they call bread bowl. You ever see those things where they put pasta in it?

And they click the pasta with the hot dog? Yeah. I mean, this is stupid, but I need it. I'll eat it because what's prominent there, what is front and center? What is at the forefront of the food, the dog? Hot diggy. Yeah, and like, I don't hate pasta. Dude, I love pasta.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So like, it's two things in theory you would like. Yeah, let me ask you a question. Go for it. Growing up, yeah. Were you like me and you would have spaghetti-os and you would get the ones with the chopped-up hot dogs in it? Can I say?

Ha ha ha ha. You know what I'm talking about? Chop-up hot dogs. Chop-up hot dogs. I have a confession. I have never ever, in my life, had Chef Boyardee or Spaghetti-os ever. What?

I've never had it. Oh, I had Spaghetti-os. I've had Chef Boyardee or Spaghetti O's ever what if never had oh I had Spaghetti O's I've had Chef Boyardee multiple time. I've never had it I probably won't in my current age because I enjoy having an acceptable level of you know cholesterol levels, right but if daddy was a fucking little bitch Yeah, which sometimes you are so be careful.. Yeah, we're all are. We are. We are bitches sometimes. But I'll bring it back. I'll bring a chef-wiredy back. Should we do like a live first-time taste test? I'll bring you some chef-wiredy and some

some canned and steady-yos. Okay, and what's the moment the ABCs? Alpha-bed-a-yos? That feels like it's not the name. I don't remember. Alpha bet soup. Alpha bet soup. Yeah, but that's just canned soup. If you've had chicken noodle soup, you've had alpha bet soup. It's just the differences. You could spell fuck. You know?

Fuck. You could spell fuck in your soup. Yeah, that's cool. I can't believe, yeah, it was, it was a, like, when we would go to the lake house, you know, after my parents decided this ain't working. Yeah, right. Yes. My dad would get a ton of spaghettios to like as a quick meal.

Right. And I remember. Because he didn't care to like put effort into it. Well, that's why. Yes. Yeah. No but, just yes. Right.

It would be like the thing though, like he would open it and it would ch-ch out of the fucking like suck its penis out of the can, you know what I'm saying? No I don't. Um, do you, can you just eat that out of the can or can you? Yeah, it comes, it just, you want to heat it up. No, I want to warm it. You want to warm it up. Not always though. I like some stuff called like pasta.

What are you an old fucking prospector that just opens a can of baked beans and eats it out of the can? Well, I got baked beans. I would do a psycho. I would. I would do baked beans. You like baked beans. Oh my god. Beans have a weird texture I feel like I'm eating little pieces of soap. You are and they're delicious for it. If that's what soap was I'd shove it in me Barbecue beans. Oh like fucking bushes baked beans. Yeah. I'll fucking go to town on those. Yeah, I'd like to spend a night with a guy bush Is it a guy or if that was just an assumption? Yeah, well there you go There's that sexism you're always talking about well it was a long time ago I figured all men created everything they did at a certain point because women weren't allowed to create a

Or read Because if they read they were witches and we burn them and we That's what I'm just reporting a couple there was only a couple. There was only a couple. Well, it was a good, yeah, but a good. No, I'm saying they got good and roasted is what I'm saying. They did get a little toasty. Yeah, that's actually not it. They got full toasted. Well, that's some people enjoy a full toast.

You know, that's where the term smore comes from. Burning women? Yeah. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But if it was, but if it was, we believe it. But if it was, we'd be all right with it. What was it?

It's only a matter of time before S'mores gets canceled and they give it a new name, like a, you know, half-sea or something. Havzie? I don't know. You know, the liberals are always in the movies. It's S'mores are like a bringing together people. They are.

You know, we have brown, we got white, and we got black. There's some stuff missing, but yeah, you're on the right track. Yeah, that's all we have. Yeah. No, the other people. Yeah, I'm saying there are other... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. As you're using that as a metaphor for races, there are some other people that are missing from there. Sure, I mean, we can't include everything, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah add? I'm not gonna, I'm not, I'm not, all right, listen. My inclusivity stops at s'mores, all right?

I got it, I got it. Don't touch my s'mores. Okay, just tell me. Instead of Hershey's bars, I'm gonna use Twix. How are you planning on doing that? Instead of the chocolate bar? Yeah, but it was melty a little Twix. Melty?

You're not like at a melty. Oh, oh. And then you sandwich it, but they have but they're they're thick baby You could melt the top is the caramel and you could squish it. Yeah, but you can't squish that cookie So then you could switch it's it's a it's a very spongy Sandwich no, it's not yes, it is because of the marshmallow. It's because of the marshmallow Where is there marshmallow in Twix? In Smores, I'm saying.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but then you got the cookie. You can't have to crunch. Why would I? More crunch. You would break the Twix and have. Of course, yeah.

I can't have it too long. I don't like when things are popping out the back of the front. I hate that. That's why I don't like Smores sometimes, because it's like, bro, let's put a pocket in this thing. I like keeping my burger nice and compact, you know what I mean? You like, but things slide out the backs and sides. That's why.

I like back in there, get back into your fucking food prison. That's what I'm saying. I don't like when I bite into a burger, and then the tomatoes like, no. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.

When the tomatoes are like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not yet. Get in it. I want to shove its ass back in. I want everything fucking just going right in me. Sometimes these burgers, and I don't even know what the fuck happened, because I'm biting it, and then I look at the bread, I'm like, I don't have a lot of bread.

And it's so much more burger, because like, it's, the bread, like, falls forward, and then like, start, spoken out the back. Yeah. So you have just like a fat ass of a burger, exactly. Just like fucking just dumping it out back there there and then the bread is like almost gone. But it's like an optical illusion. I feel like I feel like I've eaten this whole thing.

But there's still the whole ass of this burger. Yes. I don't like that either. But let's be clear. Still eat it. We'll still eat it. Of course. I'll still eat that bread. It hits the plate and then I get a fork and I start sloppin' it up. Oh, you fork it up? Yeah. Good for you. I'm not forkin' that bad boy. I'll fork it. I'll finger it all the way. Finger it. I'm fingering that burger all the way down my throat. I know what I said.

Yeah. And I'm gonna stick with what I said. Stick it. Stick it right down your throat, Frank. How you doing? I was doing good. You were, Joey had a little poo-poo problem. Oh yeah, Joey.

I wanted to talk about that. Joey had a, Joey, the man that swears he doesn't have IBS. Okay. Had a poo-poo problem. It't have IBS. Okay had a poop poop problem It wasn't I be and it affected your real life Not like a joking life, you know like last like for instance, and it's funny after you told me you had a poop poop problem We we I talked like adults. Okay, okay I was like, oh, yeah last time we recorded the second we we stopped, you ran out of here to go to the bathroom. To pee. Out of your butt. No. Yeah, you said you had to shist. Did I? Yeah. I don't remember. Yeah, you were. Yeah, but I wasn't, it wasn't...

Why not? It was, it was how, it was, it was maybe, maybe, maybe, it was the tax from the day before. Oh, so maybe it was that. Yeah, it was, yeah. You had, you had a week-long flifting. Yeah. Yeah, it was you had you had a week long Flifting F*** this is word But yeah a lot of people Danny just got married in Spain Last week over the weekend I should say over the weekend you're stupid

Chris Farley's catch up, but Danny got married a Danny got married over the weekend It was lovely wedding in Spain and what Joey's trying to say is he was unable to go. And the real reason is because he hates Danely's guts. Right. He hates him so much. So the fallout is still real. But a lot of people were hitting Danely up. He was telling me that they were like,

why didn't you invite Jody or wedding? I was invited. And I was in the airport, ready to go. And I'm sitting in a lounge. Well, also just to preface this entire thing, I thought that I had food poisoning like two or three days prior to that. I'm just gonna let you continue to talk.

And I was, I got coffee at a coffee shop like down the block for my apartment, drank it, and I was like, whoa, I have to go to the bathroom. It right now. And then I got home and then like the world fell out of me. The world, yeah. Meaning Niagara Falls. It was just...

Let me be very clear about something. Water, Frank. Yeah, okay. Water. I picked up on the diary of the story. Oh, yeah. You don't need to elaborate on it. There wasn't a chunk in sight, Frank.

Joey, please stop. So then after I was finished there, I sat on the couch and I went, I have to go again now And then it happened I was like now there's something going on Yeah, and that happened for two days for what you explain. Yeah, it was like two days that that happened and I was texting Danny Being like bro, I had like food poisoning that shit was fucking horrible like bubble blah and But I was good like I was like starting to get back to it. I started to feel good and then the day Before my flight I like ate

something and I was still having diarrhea and I was like, oh whatever, but I'm like, I still, I feel okay. I felt horrible. I was like, yeah, but I felt okay. So I was just eating like oatmeal and like brown rice and like toast. Yeah, I feel like filling the brown. I think it's what's called the brat diet. Yes. So then the day of the flight, I'm in JFK and I'm standing on line to go through security. And I have this bout of like, I was like, I have to pass out just now, but then I was like, okay, I'm fine. And then I stopped at a wine bar because I was like, by the way, three in the morning. Wrong.

Joey drinks early, sorry, you're right, 10 in the morning. No, this was like at 8.30 in the morning at night. It was like 8.30 at night and I was like, I definitely want to sleep on this and wine makes me sleep. You are a little tired boy. I am. So I had a glass of wine wine fat glass. The lady's

like you want to you want a smaller large and I was like yeah. I think I can ask you a question. Yeah. Red. It was red. Let's go. Yeah. And it was a. Marlowe. It was a Marlowe. Or a Malbec. It was a Malbec. Right. Yeah. Anyway. So I had that and I was like hmm little rumbly so then I'm sitting in a Lounge with Greg and I'm and I start getting like cold sweats And I'm like oh god what's going on and then I felt you felt it on yeah, I was like I had to go to the bathroom So I go to the bathroom and like again just like straight water I'm like fuck dude like this isn't away and then I come back and I'm sitting back at the table with him And I'm and then I my mouth just starts going dry as fuck. Oh really? You go dry mouth when you have

to like usually not. Usually I get like because I remember what I remember is like the times I felt I've had to throw up, you know, like when I'm like drinking too much and stuff like that, I get saliva. It's like super like it's like, oh it's coming. Yeah. But I think that at that point I was like really anxious because I was like fuck now I'm like whatever and I'm just thinking about the fact that like I have all these Airbnb's we booked a lot of like dinners in Barcelona in my orca So I was just like fuck like all this stuff and then I was like oh shit. I think they throw up So I go to the bathroom and I'm just standing there like this

Oh shit, I think I'm gonna throw up. So I go to the bathroom and I'm just standing there like this. Look at it myself on the mirror and I'm like, yep. And you throw it, I threw it three times in the airport and then came back, well I threw up once, one good one. And then I came back to the table and I was like, oh dude, I just like threw up, like I'm freaking out now, like then I'm like six, six. And then he's like, for real.

And then we still had like an hour because our flight got delayed. So, you were just like, yeah, I was just like sitting there until the last second. And then I went back to the bathroom and I threw up two more times and I'm sitting at the table and I'm like, now I'm starting to get dizzy and I'm like,

all this other shit and I was like, dude, I can't get on this fucking plane because I'm thinking about, it's like eight hours to get to Barcelona and then being there for two days and then getting on another plane to my Orca and being there for whatever the fuck and then taking the plane back to JFK

and I'm like, dude, I'm gonna fucking be throwing up and shitting my pants all over this plane and then have to be trying to be in space. To nurse myself to health before the fucking wedding. And I just like couldn't. And I was sick. The day that I started to feel okay was the afternoon of the day before the actual wedding.

Like Friday. Friday, because I think they're gonna be. Technically it was nighttime. So in Spain, it would be I'm down here. We go. It was like 11 30 at night, which is when they eat dinner actually that's when they start It's 11 30 at night in Spain of the night before the wedding and that's when I started to like Feel better, but that whole week was just like hell and I think I had like fucking salmon Ellers. I just want to cut you off there because yeah that sucks.

I mean your IBS kicked it again. Maybe if you spoke positively about your IBS it wouldn't have ruined your trip. Hey bud, it was a it was a for sure bacterial virus. Well I just need to say it sucks and I'm sorry that that happened. But like I'm more upset than you are because my plan was you were going to come back from Spain and I was going to be able to make fun of you so hard for being just like myth through Espanya. Like in the end.

He thought I wouldn't come back with an accent. I thought I thought actually that you had that's how you say it. I thought you were going to come back like when you went to Greece and you came back and you were like smoking like rip and sigs Never smoked a cigarette in my life. You were rip and sigs and all you kept talking about was the yeetos And then you said you were like I have one jar on it You said like and you said to me you were like me can us life That's what you said

And I knew when you were gonna come back from Spain Yeah, we're gonna be fucking you know mr. Toputh Spain, you were gonna be fucking, you know, Mr. Tapeth, and like, you were gonna be only talking about like, oh my god, my yoracod, the flamenco downstairs. I knew that's what you were gonna need. So the real loser here is me. Right. Because I have lost out on some, let's be honest,

prime content making fun of you. Yeah, probably because you think you came back from Greece a change man There was a no shot you were gonna not gonna come back a change man from Spain. I did wear more linen when I got back Oh, a lot more linen, you know, I say a lot you had towel shirts That was one shirt. How many one you sure? two Try three no three. No three. You had three. Is it a white one, a yellow one, and an off white one?

No, there's a blue one. Oh, and a yellow one and a white one. See, he knows he remembers his towel shirts. I got him. I remember a white one. You don't need to. They're there. So I'm sorry.

That sucks. But like, I'm the real victim here, Joey. Because, oh, make it about you. You know what it was? You're fucking inside your racist ass, it fucking gut was just like I can't go and be amongst, you know, seasonings and paprika. What?

Your body knew that you were gonna go and have to eat something that has something other than fucking catch up salt and pepper on it. You see, you flip flop back and forth of this shit because on one hand he goes, y'all, you go out to a restaurant, you fucking frog legs, dip the, you know, I know you're not eating frog legs, Joey.

Why would I not eat frog legs? Because the last time you went, where did we go? For your birthday dinner, a steakhouse. Joey, it's a fucking really nice thing out there. Don't you dare, Joey. Did this before already on a thing and you made it up. Joey looks, he looks looks he goes to the waiter

He goes this never happened tell me about your your chicken tenders I couldn't fucking believe it and then and then he got a fucking beautiful steak that was prepared cooked medium rare It's thing it's fucking succulent juicy bleed and sucking and Excuse me waiter gosh song. That's what you said I didn't you did and you said can I get some honey? and suckin' and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then juicy boys. There was but there was something else that was really oh Chicken was mad sexual the chicken was like given to us like doggy style Well, I don't even know if it was a chicken. It was a chicken, but it was like fucking fullade and open Like it was on a skewer and it looked like it was on a pole It's pussy was out. It's yeah full fat thighs and put it like this. I've been to

clubs and there were more Thighs and put it like this. I've been to clubs and there were more Less sexualized people at these clubs and that chicken. Yeah, that chicken was fucking that chicken and it was like in like missionary You know like it was like face down as up. Yeah, and like that's not missionary I know I know, but it was just it was putting very sexual positions and then you you said you you asked the people you're like Can you cut bread and fry these for me? Cut bread. That's what you asked cut Bread the the chicken. Oh, you want a chicken tender. Is that a steak? Oh god? I got it. I got it Yeah, you made that up. That's why Joey. No, no chicken tenders in Spain

Yeah, probably not that's why your body fought you. Yeah, cuz it's like you're about to eat good stuff Yeah, when you heard that there was gonna be some form of fucking, you know, like, flare throwing into your life, he races pig. Yeah, what's flare, what's fake? Fake, right, this is fake. Big is making a comeback. Frankie thinks he's like the man,

cause he ate a date. He's like, oh, I have a flare in my life. Oh, we have fresh fruit. Oh, the basil, It's from the garden Yeah, tell me about your garden Exactly fucking venture out sometime see grass go look at the world Joey What the fuck are you talking about you dumb bitch? You know you you sit there What was the last time you ate something that your own hands made you fucking pig

back on pig Big is good. It's a good one Alec Baldwin and now pig Alec Baldwin and Alice Alec Paulin you remember he called his daughter a worthless pig phone call Bro, do you know how you're a worthless pig if I Trump call Trump co-host you a Donald pick probably he called him many things. Yeah, or a beast Or something a beast beast is good. That's a good one. Yeah, I just yeah, you're beast of a man He called her a pig though. Oh man. You know how pumped I would be or a dog I'm sure one of those one of those derogatory terms for a woman

of not small stature. Huh. That's what she is. Okay. You know how pumped I would be if I got a voicemail for my dog and he called me a worthless pig. My dog. I'm a...

Oh, I'd be psyched if I got a voicemail for my dog. I met my dad. Yeah, if you called me a worthless pig. Yeah, that would be hysterical. Oh, I, so I should actually play this Oh, you got a pig voice mail from your dad No, I got a voicemail from my dad because he found out that I had food poisoning and I couldn't go to Spain Did I send it to you you you your dad has liked you a weird obsession about fluids and butts

You just say things tell me this Joey your 30th birthday. What was the message your dad sent you the email where he was just like Any time you're fought you got to worry about fucking leaking. Yeah, he's wrong here. It's stupid idiot. Yeah, okay So this is the actually don't know if he says anything bad probably does we'll just All right, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait go back What so what do you want to talk about play it? Go back, go back, go back, go back, go back. So what do you want to talk about? Play it. Well, I'm trying to end it.

And then we can end it if we need to. My dad found out that, is there like visual voice mail? Can you read what he says just in case? We'll find out. But I don't think it's bad. Cancel Joe is dead. Here we go. Do a good job, man.

I'm just going to see how you're doing. Yeah, I have food poisoning thinking linger for a while. You probably got it from some spoiled Puerto Rican ass. Oh, there it is. You're gonna be watching out where you put your face down there in Puerto Rico. Didn't disappoint. I told you.

Didn't disappoint. That's the voicemail he left. Yeah, that's the... Well, hey, concerned dad wants to make sure you're not putting your face at anything that might be give you food poisoning Spoiled I can bucks do that get spoiled. Well give you food poisoning I guess if someone has if someone has food poisoning or like some gas own testinal virus and they do tips Well, I didn't just also ingesting any type of virus and they do tips. Well, I didn't just also ingesting any type of dumb.

Yeah, there was no dumb that you were ingesting before. Yeah, no, that wasn't. Just a lot of rum. A lot of rum. A lot of rum. Fucking pinnacle out of it. God damn, I can't stop thinking about those pinnacles out of it. And I can't, what's the name of the other fucking drink that I love?

There was holy shit. Jesus Christ. Yo, you're the most jumpy fucking piece of shit. Do you see why? No, you didn't see what happened. Oh my god What do you do? Christ he just fucking popped his head up real quick like a fucking rat my my My fucking microphone It was the first one was the rum Old-fashioned It's good. It was, the first one was the rum, old-fashioned. The second one was called the Encanto.

Encanto. Yes, it was Kiwi syrup, even though Joey does, he doesn't like Kiwis. Cocktail. These don't look like this shit at all. Type in Encanto, Puerto Rican cocktail. The shit is purple.

Encanto. And then the purple. I'm ganto. And then the third one was the bina. Yeah, the pinocled was very good. But this shit was fucking stupid. And I just bought some like, oh you bought it. You're gonna have to practice because Joey made me pop his shaker

when we were down there. That was fucking insane. Yeah, but you were, what the fuck was going on? No, I did it pretty quickly, pretty easily. Not for mine, I mean, we were... No, the second one, the second time, we had to slap that bad boy a couple of times. Yeah.

We'd have slapped that bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Yeah, I can't find it, but we'll figure it out. I'm gonna look up. Yeah, but anyway, that was cool. But yeah, that's my dad. I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm sorry, you didn't get to go to Spain. Like I said, I'm the one that is lost here.

But here we are, back at it. The basement boys, back at it, live in large. Say back at it again. Back at it. There you go. I'll look back at it while I say back at it. Don't say that. You don't want it?

What? For you to look back at it? Yeah. Why is that such a thing? Look, look back at it. Yeah, well, I don't know me. Oh, who is the look back at it, look back at it, make that pussy pop like a jack rabbit?

Who is that? Make the pussy pop like a jack rabbit? Yeah, there was a jack rabbit in actual animal. I think there, yeah. I thought it was just a rabbit. I know, there's bigger ones that are called Jack rabbits. Aren't those hairs? Look, man, get it, look, man, get it.

Look back at it like a Jack Rabbit. Make that, make that thom-thien pop like a Jack Rabbit. Oh, was it? Now bounce that thing like a Jack Rabbit. Yes, who is that? Kia? K-H-I-A, who's that? Who's that?

Like the telluride? Like the who? A car? Oh, yeah. Yeah, what are the N-H in there? I think, yeah, that's who it is. Weird. Wow. There's a lot of crazy lyrics in this thing What song? Why am I unable to remember this song? Y'all hose better know that game don't fuck with squares don't fuck with lame What song Joey look back at it you dumbass you just fucking saying it. Oh, why do I know that song? It says you know my ass look tight

You want to fuck tonight. Oh, well hold on wait a sec Make a man want to spend his cash the man isn't the word Make a man what what's the word Joey want to come real fast ah there ladies Where you look at when you where you what ladies? Where you at look back at this bitch, this bitch off class. Oh, no, don't stop dirty down. Got this bitch on lock. Didn't even rhyme. Yeah, I don't Well, I remember a boy saying it not a girl. Maybe it's a boy. Kia You never know. Anyway, do you have sponsors for

Anyway, do you have sponsors for today? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And by the end of that quiz, I know your sizes and what kind of fit you like, what kind of patterns and what kind of clothes you wear. And then they can start pulling from over a thousand brands that you know and love and put together a nice package for you of like here. How about this stuff? So it's great. It's like having your own personal stylist. They have sizes that range from extra small to three XL. So it's inclusive for everybody.

And yeah, you can get these outfits. And it's a cool way to kind of, that's kind of how I like to shop. I like when I'm on sites and you like, oh, this is a cool pair of pants. And you click on those pants. And then there's a model wearing the pants in an outfit. And you're like, that outfit looks cool. And then underneath that, it's like, you can get all this stuff here. That's essentially what Stitch Fix is doing.

But right now Stitch Fix is offering, or listen, there's $20 off of their first fix at StitchFix. StitchFix.com slash basement. That is StitchFix.com slash basement. For $20 off today, just go check them out. Right? Go see $20 off of your first fix. Go get some cool outfits. StitchFix.com slash basement. And we also have square space. Square space is what I use to build websites, any website that I've ever built. I've used with square space. Actually, that's not true. I've used a different platform years ago, and it was insanely difficult and hard and time consuming. It literally took me like two and a half months with square space. They have like templates that make it very easy. You just switch out certain fonts

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You okay there pops it's gonna say oh and my throat clear Ah, at the exact same time. Well, I am gonna talk to you guys about something and I don't know if you know about this But come on come on a little closer. Come on right here. Well, no, we don't Where are you pointing? I'm just going to tell you about the Patreon. Yeah, I'm sure. Patreon.com is a base for your guys. We tell you about this all the time. We tell you about the Patreon because it's the best way to not only support us, but get more of us really. So patreon.com slash the base for your already sent up for that first

year. Well, when you get these weekly episodes that you see right here, BingBing Boom, one week in advance, and then that second tier. That's where you get. Fridays, 7 a.m. you, oh, 7 a.m. Eastern, I should say you us more of us exclusive episodes. All right, so go check it out. Now look, I know I shouldn't mope, I know I shouldn't curse, but the pain, oh, I feel so much worse worse because wind it up with no one It's a lot less fun than a burn from the sun or not being a member of the patreon. There you go Picture not come size of basement yard baby. What the fuck was that? Don't worry about a bitch. How about you fucking get your game up? Sorry, I'm a little hungry. It's a game up a little hungry. Yeah, yeah starvation army starvation army Well, you haven't eaten solids or pooped solids in about two weeks wrong I'm back to fucking you're eating those solids yeah you're back at it I

took my mom to dinner last night your body ready for fucking hot dogs baby I don't know about that yeah well technically we're never ready for that I'm ready to push the limits on my body though I'm gonna shove a hot dog in here. Here. Where? My mouth. Yeah. My mouth. Yeah, you gotta shove that bad boy in your mouth. I am, I'm not scared.

You might have to be. That was, you know what I'm like? I don't like when hot dogs are in like not hot dog buns. When people put them in like real like sandwich buns. You know what I hate? I don't like that shit. Give me a hot dog bun. You know when you like you go get't like that shit. Give me a hot dog bun. Sandwich buns. Like you know when you like you go get like a fucking sub

or a hero and it's like Italian bread? Yeah. Do you have a hot dog tonight? Bro, yes. I had a foot long hot dog. Don't ask why because I wanted it. And it was in like a fucking like legit hoagie roll. Semolino bread?

Yeah. Semolino. It was in like a legit like loaf of Italian bread. And it's, let's not be mistaken. Oh my God, was there stuff in it though? Yeah, of course. Chili and cheese. It was still good, but it was,

the bread like fucked it up. You know what I would do. If you put a foot long in there, and then you put like sauces and peppers in there too. Oh. I would just drive straight to the hospital. But like, it sounds good. I've been working really hard.

I've lost some weight. You know, my diet's been pretty good. It's down. See you. It's about to go down. I need to get this blood test today. So by the time nothing from this weekend is going to register. Yeah, dude.

It's going to suck. It's OK. It's all right. You just got to go on, you know, a little, little quick diet afterwards, you're fine. A little quick diet. And then maybe I'll end up looking like Martha Stewart Yeah, Martha Stewart looks great. She was dumping them out on what's the most magazine? Well, I don't know if dumping them out is the right term here. It was definitely dumb. She was on the cover of the sports illustrated

swimsuit magazine at the age of 80 one Which I'll tell you this right now at 81. I'm gonna look like a ham Bro, you know, you know what? I'm gonna look like at 81. Not that. Dead. I'm going to look like an urn of ashes. That's what I'm gonna look like. An urn. Oh, why did I think she dumped a man? No, there's no dumping. That's what I explained.

I thought, but didn't she dump? There's no dumps. I think she did dump. She was so topless. Where have you seen Martha Stewart topless? You're gonna make me type this in the Google oh She did dump them you idiot what yeah, well she was she didn't really she was wearing an apron But she was they were dumped no, they're not dumped if they're if nips are covered. That's fair nips nips are the entirety the dumping relies on the nips We've talked about or if you do a handbraut technically technically that's dumping them out. No. If you can't see ariola, they're not dumped out. Ariola. Yes.

So what if it's just nipples, but there is ariola? Is that if I'm full chested right here and I just go like this. Full chest. And I cover nips. You we've we've spoken about this. It's not you said ariola. All right, nip full nip I don't you know I don't know Joey you know I don't know the typography and the geography of a nipple The the outer ring Yeah, the outer rim no, no, you know like certain plan is that picture Saturn, right? Yeah, the rings

I don't know why I'm closing my eyes. I can picture Saturn without my eyes. Yeah, it's very easy The rings that's the ari, the actual planet is the nebbel. So like the rings are like, you know, the exigle and then the closer you get in, you get toward, you know, like, you know, a forest moon of Endor or, you know. Are you doing power rangers, should I marry? No, this is Star Wars, bitch. Got it. Okay. Anyway, one of the sewer hot. I have to say something. Okay Anyway, why the sewer hot I Have to say something hot woman. Oh good looking woman. However, this is kind of

I'll lean into the whole like Is this the right? Message that should be sent about aging at the age of 81. Because people... What the fuck does that mean? For instance, Martha Stewart treats their own all about it support. However, you think that's just from fucking eating broccoli and like running? I think that she's clearly like taking care of herself. She's taking care of herself.

However, she's also fighting the fucking... What gives it a shit? No, hey, listen man, I am full support. People would they want with their body. I don't at the same time that is So what would make you feel kind of contributing to the patriarchal idea of a manufactured style and version of beauty? I get that it is But what's the what's the what's the yeah? Come on? Let's not be fucking naive here if people are on the internet or what we're all doing The shit anyway, but like oh no we have this hot older woman on the cover of sports illustrated and we're gonna pretend like oh, but she's airbrushed And she's got this and she's got clips in the back of her neck that are a holder of face skin back or whatever the fuck that stuff like that

I know about how you know about that. Let me ask you how you know a TikTok. You saw a TikTok. Oh well, and it must be real if it's on TikTok Joey. I should have seen many a TikTok. Okay, so two TikToks. It's not fucking... Move on from TikTok. Sorry. But what's the alternative? We put your grandma on the cover, Sports Illustrator. We can't, guess why. I know why.

You know why? We'll say it dead. There it is. I was gonna say, let's say it together. Three, two, one. Obliterate it. Pfft. Pfft.

Three, two, one. Aiterate it. Pfft. Pfft. Three, two, one, a distant memory. Yes, yes. That's why the cover would be just empty. I see this text. I can't tell you how hard I left. When we were in Puerto Rico, we were at a large dinner and we kept bringing up our parents being divorced and our grandparents being dead.

People did not like that. They did not. At one point. That made it better though. It made so much better. We looked at each other and we went former grandchild, right? No grandparents. Not one. Not a single one left. That's single one. And they went, they didn't even go out in style. They just went. Right. But back to, yes, you're right. Yeah, yeah, I would not have been on the fucking cover of sports illustrated. No.

But at the same time, let's not lose sight of the fact that this woman is in extraordinary financial circumstances. And this is not what the layman person looks like or should want to look like. Who's thinking that? I think that there is a stress and pressure placed on women in society, which stuff like that, which is then glorified and talked about everyone, I'm like, oh my God, Martha Stewart.

And then when there are women that are aging, you know, however, naturally they will age, they don't have the opportunity to look like that, because they don't have the resources, time, or ability to. I don't know, I feel like I get the societal pressure thing, but like the cover of sports illustrated. Yeah, they're not the most like pro-grants. Oh, well, that's not true. Wasn't, wasn't Caitlyn Jenner on the cover there?

I don't know. And it was like woman of the year. Do you think sports illustrated has a woman of the year? I don't know. Well, she was on one that was like woman of the, she got woman of the year. It was like her first year being a being a woman yeah they won for one cross did I came out of the gate hot bro just fucking Bruce gave Caitlin her fucking thing but the super boy her rookie here bro Bruce gave Caitlin his track and field fucking skills he just like she took out from the gate. That's over. I think she pelled in a bit about that.

Yeah, first of all. First year of day, I'm like, wait, you know. Mom for one though. But I, it's a multi-layered, it's a conversation that isn't up and on. To me, I get that too, and I like understand it. But at the same time, it's like, I think that, like, changing the cover of fucking a magazine,

which is, I don't think it's a change, and I think she should be celebrated for how she looks. I support it, but let's not be mistaken here when people say like, you know, like, oh my god, we're so progressive, like things like this don't happen anymore. It's still happening in front of your face, babies. I don't know, bro.

People are models because they're exceptional looking. Completely, I like it. Whatever, bro. But the standard of looking exceptional has been created by men like you. No, I think gay men. You, Joey. No, it's all straight men. No one's mad at gay men except for straight men. I'm saying I get in the modeling world, isn world isn't it like bro. It's all marketing advertisers and stuff like that I whatever it's all it's a it's a fucking vicious circle. Do you who can ask you a serious question? Yeah at the rate at which we're currently going who's gonna look better at 81 you or me and why is it you?

It's not me. Yeah, you don't think so? No, I think that, I think that, here's the thing. I don't think that white's really age really well. I'm serious, this is not me having some sort of white guilt. But just look at like an old white guilt. No, this is not white guilt. Just look at an old white person. You're just kind of like, give me an old white person, Harrison Ford.

Not age well, still a good-looking guy. No, but he's got, he's, you know, oh, I'm not talking about like famous, we haven't talking about like the general, like the average. You're dead. Old, let's look at your dad. No, but like, I don't know.

Also when the advantage you have, like people look better at tan. I agree. People look better at tan. I thought we were going the route you have, like people look better at tan. I agree. People look better at tan. I thought we were going the route of like, you just like, you have, like you take care of your body a little more consistently than I do. Oh, but that's, but Frank, that's not lasting. Oh no, it's not, your knees are sh-

The day I turn 40, I'm not even going to even think about working out, working out, Anything that goes into my body? Oh, okay. I might start eating cigarettes. You should, honestly. Whatever. That might be the cure for all these illnesses, your IBS. It could.

Plug it up with a couple fucking, you know, it's dark. It's dark so sticks. A couple dark stalks. It was actually an article my sister sent me today, this woman who was like 110 years old. I hate these people that I love these. I would do this.

I would do this. I would do this. I hate. I fucking hate. Everyone who turns 100 years old. Because they always have some fucking snarky fucking bullshit like secret. And this woman said ice cream. Fuck you.

We really want to know the answer to this. You old hag. But fuck you. The moment I turn a hundred which Ain't happening we know that I'm fucking you know a president in northwest at that point in time is gonna send me a letter Right and says like you remind me and my dad and I'm going to kill myself. There you go I will be one of those people where they're like what's this mr. Alvarez?

Hundred years young You don't look at day over 80 What's this Mr. Alvarez, 100 years young? You don't look at day over 80. What is the secret? Also not a compliment, 80 sucks. Yeah, 80 sucks. Any 80 year old listeners out there. 80 year old, sorry bro, the 80 year old listeners. Definitely have no one with you.

No, and if they are, what happened to your life? I'm having a good time. They're smoking cigarettes, eat nice cream. Are they? Okay, trying to stay young. I'm gonna do something like. They're smoking cigarettes, eat nice cream. Are they? Okay, trying to stay young. I'm gonna do something like that. I'm gonna just come up with something ridiculous because then people are gonna make spend time

actually researching it. I remember there was like a woman who was just like the secret of my success is like cigarettes and Dr. Pepper. Oh yeah, that's what I thought it was like. I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, T, olive oil and fucking fresh duck farts. Look it up, you know, was like, I'm gonna be like, T, olive oil, and fucking fresh duck farts. Look it up, you know, just like, I'm gonna just come up with something ridiculous

where they'll be like, what's the science behind duck farts? They'd be, they get, I'd prank them. So like, I've been fisting my own ass for the last 10 years and it's extended my life. Anel stimulation. Anel stimulation has extended my life. I love it because there's so much more that has happened in that person's life.

You know, it's the idea of like inductive and deductive reasoning where like they'll look at something and you know, like I think I read something once and it was like an insane amount of serial killers say that their favorite book is Catcher in the Rye. So people have looked at Catcher in the Rye, like, what about, is holding Caulfield a martyr? What's it, and it's like, yeah,

they also have all had fucking, they've all worn shoes, but no one's saying that shoes cause, you know, serial killers to lose their mind. So like Catcher in the Rye? Worst book in the world. Well, I had to read that, like my sophomore year of high school, didn't somehow pass the test, though. I can bullshit my way through it like a lot.

Did I ever tell you what happened to me when we were reading catcher in there? I think it was like catching the rye or one of those dumb ass books, like my next big catchings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't do the homework. I didn't do the readings.

No. I would in the mornings ask my friends, let me see your answers, let me copy them. I'll juice them up a little bit. Buh, buh, buh. But I remember, this is kinda your fault because it was your lady that did this. She was involved, Jamie.

Damn. I had asked, yeah, you're guilty by association. What year was this? 2000 and 45. I've been like, five. I've been like, five, you fucking, seventh or eighth grade. Oh, we were, we were, I partied that.

You had, but there was a longing. There was, of course. How many times did you stare at the window when it was raining and think about her every time the rain yeah, so I'd I'd be like let me just cut and she and clearly she was fed up So she's like I'll just tell you the answer. So I was like all right question what and she gave me the answers I handed my homework into my teacher and she and she gave it back to me with a big question mark and said see me after class And I went and I was like you wanted to see me and she's like back to me with a big question mark and said, see me after class.

And I went and I was like, you wanted to see me. And she's like, what the fuck did you read? I'm sorry. Jamie just made them up. Made up the answers. That's incredible. She sunned me and I'll never get that back. I was out maneuvered in that situation. You asked Jamie.

Yeah. For the answers to the summer reading and she made up a whole book. Jay, Jay, I don't think it was, because I think there was like a cup, there was like a handful of people in the class that I would get the answers from. She was one of them.

So it's possible, it was her. Also possible, it was somebody else. Got it. But that's stung. And after that, it was like, what did you say? How did you get out of that? You're like, I must have read the wrong book.

I honestly don't even remember. Because I didn't even care. Like, I hated the English class so much and I had this teacher who sucked. And I just didn't give a fuck. Damn. But I was super upset about it after when I said after I was like, this will never happen again.

And I, no, I didn't actually start reading. I just learned of spark notes. I spent a good amount of time in middle school learning how to forge my parent signatures. I did way worse. Well, I also forged everything in like seventh, sixth or seventh grade, I think seventh grade. I forged everything because if you start forging

your parent signatures in the beginning of the year, that's just their signature. That's the end. You know what I mean? You can't have them sign at once and try it. And my mom's like a fucking... Your mom had really nice handwriting. Oh, what a f**k.

I remember that shit. Yeah, her shit is fucking like this. Like, it's incredible. So I'm like, I'm not doing that. And my dad's is real sharp. I was like, am I fucking doing this shit? So I just did whatever. I did something way worse.

Way, way, way worse. In lightness. This is how to forge your parents signature. Are you talking about that? No, I'm sure I tried to forge my parents signature. My mom's, because my dad didn't sign anything. He can't write, he's crap. He can't write.

I don't know if he knows that I write, I'm sure he knows the signature. My dad can't write lowercase letters. I know that. He just all uppercase. Everything is uppercase. There's some darkness behind that. Well, he's yelling at me.

It's a letter. But, you know, when I would get bad test scores, which there was a period of time where like from like six until like eighth or ninth grade, I really, really hated school. So I didn't give a fart. And I would, you know, it would be go home, get the sign by your mom, and you know, give me the right answers, or sign by someone in your household.

And, you know, my grandmother, the dementia had kind of really... Oh my God. You made your dementia grandmother for your signature, or she was one signing your stuff The former or the latter I Would give it a her to sign and she'd be like 39. I was like it's out of 40 points And then guess what the moment I left that room that dementia kicked it and she forgot she signed it.

You're a sick fuck, you know that? You're a sick bastard. You would fail shit and then make your cramp mother sign it because she had to mention she's like, fuck. And I would return it, you know? Yeah. And she's patting you on the back, great job, friend. Listen, listen. Hey, Sia. You know, it would take, it would be a lesser man to just say she's sick. I allowed her to feel needed in those times, you know?

Used as the right word, Frank. Not needed, but you were using know. Used is the right word, Frank. Not needed by your using her. That's crazy. I, you've leveraged. I have mentioned that. That's insane. You saw, you, my grandma mentioned that. I could use, you know, under something here,

I could use it. A true alpha does not take any opportunity for granted. That's what happens. The Andrew Tate character in me, really. Frankie Skins was really, really pumped in that moment. That's unbelievable story. It's all right. Listen, I really tried hard to repent.

Because if life for me had ended at 21 there was no doubt that I was going to hell yeah guy would just be like literally my hands are tied here so tied you Frank double not it my hands are double it's that you know you get his fingers in those Chinese finger traps, right? Every time you pull, it's just like, I'm trying for you, dude. I remember I had a, you know, remember reading logs? Oh my God, I hated that. I get a read for 30 minutes and there was like smiley's and it was like, how did you like

this? You remember that? Yeah. And it was like a reading log. So you had to read for 30 minutes and then your parent had to sign it every day. And I had to teach her Miss Gross, those are her name. Disgusting. Yeah, absolutely gross.

But like my mom signed some and then I was like, fuck, I'm gonna get in trouble if I don't have to sign. So I tried to do it but you're dead. I'm gonna give it to her. She literally looked at it for half a second. This isn't her. Oh, dude. The ways that I use to get away with shit in elementary school, we used to get homework like math packets for, you know,

like a break or something like that, you know, a Christmas break or whatever. And I would just undo on the back, I would undo the staple and take half of it off and throw it out and restaple it. What would that do? I'd be like, I'd hand it in and be like, where's the rest? I'd be like, this is what I got. PUNCH! You fucking piece of shit!

You gasped my teeth. Oh! This is all you gave me. This is what I, what do you mean, where's the rest? This is it. Like, I got, what I got. And they'd be like, there's like 20 pages missing and I'd be like, where, I don't, I didn what I got. And they'd be like, there's like 20 pages missing. And I'd be like, where? I don't, I didn't do this.

I would undo the staple. Because you know how you could like open a staple? I would just undo it. Just fucking take the pages off and then just fucking restaple it. You know, recrympt the back. That's fire. I was like, babe, that's crazy.

It hurt, it hurt lying to Miss A. It hurt. That was who I did. How dare you lie to that? I did. I hurt. I hurt her and I hurt me. That might have messed up my chances. Hmm. I think it's the fact that you were a fourth grader that might have done it, but Okay, we do have spasms. God, I'm so glad we're back. No. Okay. Well, God, I'm so glad we're back. No. OK. Well, we have rocket money. Rocket money, all in one personal finance app

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use the code new for 10% off of your first purchase if you're a new Etsy shopper and lastly here we have Zock doc Zock doc is great I use it all the time honestly you know when you're younger your parents just bring you to a doctor and you're like okay this is my doctor but then eventually you grow up and you start having to take yourself to the doctor. And if you're not like appointed one, you're like, I don't know what to do. Zock dot kind of makes it easy. You go on to their site, you put in the insurance that you have, and then you can look up doctors

in your area that take your insurance and they're next available appointment. And you can do that for a primary care physician or you can do it for something more specific, I don't know the names of doctors, but yeah, it makes it a lot easier to find all these things and also they have their reviewed, so they have like a five star rating and from people that have gone to them,

so if they have a great rating and they have an appointment soon, whatever, it just connects you to a doctor seamlessly. But yeah, so go check out ZockDock is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient reviewed. Take your insurance, are available when you need them and treat almost every condition under the sun. But go to zockdock. basement and download the zok.app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours that is spelled zoc.coc.com slash basement. Again, that is zoc.coc.com slash basement. But yeah, makes it easy to go find yourself a doctor. Joey, there's a story that came up that I didn't know if we had the ability to

zire or calm personality to talk about, but the goddamn lives are coming for our hot dogs Joey. What? The lives are coming for our hot dogs. Reportedly. The lives. Oscar Meyer has changed the name of their iconic Weiner mobile to now Something I'm not upset about the Frank mobile Is that lib stuff? I don't think I don't think they haven't said anything about any like Joe's adventure It's a fun joke because who we got to make fun of everybody Joey. I know the lips and What do we call the conservatives? I thought you're about to say Joey. I know. The libs, then. What do we call the conservatives? I thought you were about to say Nazis.

I was like, oh, yeah, sure. Whatever you want to call yourselves. I. Ha. Make it harder for me, please. I'm just queuing things up for you. But like, that giant ass fucking hot dog, the Weenermobile, I've never seen that.

I've never seen it in real life, but I've seen it. Like I know what to think. Fun fact, my wife auditioned to be an Oscar-Mire Weiner person when she was a child. What does that even mean? Soulmates, baby. They exist in real life. Wait, what does that mean though?

What would she do? There were commercials, just like, oh I wish I were an Oscar-Mire. Oh. And she didn't get it. She didn't. Damn. Well, I don't hold an Oscar man. Oh, and she didn't get it. She didn't, damn. Well, I don't hold it against her. The fact that she went out for it, that really,

that was in my wedding bells. You have to try. You have to try for it. But like, you got him, is this, a lot of people are saying that like, oh Oscar man is going woke now. Our weeners woke, our weeners, our winners like winners are genderless baby. Wait a second.

I don't know. Wait, are they? I think they, the inclusion and or not inclusion. Not inclusion. Weiner of a weiner. Weiner mobile, actually a weiner mobile doesn't really. That sounds like something a 90s teen movie bully would say about like sex.

No, I was gonna say about like the nerdy kids card. Like, is this a Weiner Mobile? Is he abs? You know, he's like, Yeah, he roll the blades up to him and he's like, I just shred the nar, kiss your mom, and you're going home is Weiner Mobile? Yeah, I would think so.

He rolls up on roller blades? I would, it's a 90s babe. Did cool kids roll the blade? In the 90s, Joey? Yeah, I would think so. It rolls up on roller blades. I would, oh, it's a 90s babe. Did cool kids roller blades? In the 90s, Joey? Yes, I don't. Do you not remember the opening to the Mighty More From Power Rangers movie in 1995? Yes.

Guess if I remember that. Were they skydive out of the airplane and land an angel grove and then they roller blade? No. Yeah, Joey. That's what the cool kids were doing. They were shredding the blades. Shredding the blades.

Shredding the nar on blades. Okay, this hurts me a little bit. Although I'm not upset. It's not the Frank Mobile. Frank Mobile's pretty nice. I would like to see this hot dog thing in person. This fucking vehicle. This is a deal.

I am astonished. Do they sell stuff out of it? I think it's just like an advertising thing like the weedermobiles pulling in your town go meet it with fucking wide open mouths You know what now I guess I get I have yeah, I don't understand with wide open mouths I mean if they don't sell hot dogs out of it then I think we should get rid of this thing altogether forget about changing the name No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't say that. I'm not looping myself in with that Oscar Meyer I'll I'll I'll drive your weener

Mobile Frank Mobile Frank Frank is a perfect marketing opportunity Frank would like to ride your Frank Mobile I want to ride your big old Frank Big old Frank. I just think doesn't it have mustard on it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I mean there's a couple things you can't put on it like Name me one thing you don't put on a dog Peter butter I think it's good I guess you could I guess you could put anything right yeah, baby That's the beauty of a dog. Oh, you can't put like Marin Harris sauce on it Maddie, nah, you can make a pizza dog pizza dog That was one that we spoke about yeah in our episode that you can check out our Patreon.com to answer every Thursday's video.

Yeah, yeah, actually, yeah. Oh, you know what? Weird. What about olive oil? Why not? I guess. Why not? Stomped.

Olive oil and prosciutto on a dog? Oh, oh shit. Double the pork. Double the salt. Yeah, well, yeah, a lot of salt. Sodium's fucking skyrocketing. Yeah, that's gonna be- It's an experience.

I think so, yeah, it's an out-of-body experience because your soul will leave your body. Die. I want a slutty ass dog, dude. It's gonna be a dog doll, a dog weekend, baby. I want to like put hot chili on it. Do you- I am shocked that we have not worked out any sort of deal with Nathan's or Oscar Myer. Yeah, what the fuck?

We should host the 4th of July dog suckin extravaganza. I agree. Greg! Greg! Greg is gonna have to make this happen. Because- Or there will be hell to pay. Think about it.

Like, who's the MC? That guy that goes up there in that stupid looking jacket and that big fucking hat? It's not a big hat, it's just like a... It's a big hat. Oh no, it's the short hat. It's the short, like, but he's got like a cane. Yeah, and he's like an old timey. He's dressed like a cricket.

He's dressed like a cricket, dude. When I think of a cricket, I think of the gizc guy, just like that. He doesn't make any sense. Or the frog from W. Yeah, the WB frog. Yeah, man, now I'm a jammer, you bring. Yeah, exactly. I don't want that. I wanted to be us. Yeah, the basement yard. There we go.

That's interchangeable at this point. Yeah, exactly. Who do you think knows more? I'm not about dogs, I would say those guys know more, but like who is more known right now for being the dog boys? I don't even know if that's true. It's probably not, but we like to think. I want to say stuff too, that I don't know if it's true.

Well, that's America. You know, just say it. Read it with speech. It just means that you could say whatever you want. Misinformation's fun. It's all about dogs who cares. What do you guys think? Facts check dogs.

Dude, spreading rumors. How fun is that? How fun was that in high school, ruining someone's life with a rumor that you started? That's awesome. Yeah, like for instance, when Joey stole my girlfriend. Here we go. You know, I'm just gonna start it with that back out there. You know, I can make rumors about you started. That's awesome. Yeah, like for instance, when Joey stole my girlfriend. Here we go. You know, I'm just gonna start and put that back out there.

You know, I can make rumors about you too. Say it. What, that I'm a caring, loving person that has supported you from day one and always will. Okay. And I've considered naming my children, renaming my children after you. Renaming.

Yes. How do you do that? Mave will become Joe. Okay. No, she won't. She's too pretty. No Yes. How do you do that? Mave will become Joe Okay, no she won't she's too pretty no offense. How dare you no offense? Why are not a pretty your handsome Women can be handsome. No, huh get him got me You got me got to do it got me you got me Yeah. That's all right. That's all right. Yeah. I am pretty excited about the hot dogs. I'm getting brought.

I'm getting brought. Yeah, I don't know. No, I'm going to go. You know how much I'm fucking in for dogs. I'm going to a butcher. I'm getting custom dogs. I want fat rippers. You're fucking horny for this shit.

Do you have fat rippers? Do you know my mom? My mom is here. This is this. What's today? My mom was here. This... What's today? My mom was here yesterday. Yeah. And she goes, Are you excited for the weekend? I was like, yeah, we're gonna grill. I'm really excited. She's like, ah, yeah, I know how much you really appreciate your first dog of the year.

And I was like, yeah, first. It's like I had one January 8th. I've already had it. Joey celebrates his on January 6th. Don't even start, you bastard. You said that's a very American day for you. Never clarified why. Never clarified why.

I'm yet to look it up. You should probably get on that, but I'm very excited. Yeah. Don't change the name of the Wiener Mobile. Let us drive it. We definitely have to get Nathan's on the fucking horn. Is there another hot dog place? Nathan's, subrette. Sub there another hot dog place? Nathan's

subrette Subrette Oscar Meyer is the hot dog mobile. Yeah, what the fuck of an idiot listen This is gonna be the great dog bidding war of 2023. Yeah, we're gonna reach out to all of these dog fuck Nathan's Subrette he broke your name national I want to I want all of them fighting over us show us your dogs and we'll I want all of them fighting over us. Show us your dogs and we're all, well, oh, don't. Show us your dogs and we'll pick the best of you. In a row, I want to see you all. Show us your best dog.

And it's not about the money. It's just about the money. It's just about the currency in which we use it. Yeah. It's not about the money, but it is about the compensation. It is about the compensation. That's a good way to put it, Frank. Yeah. So I might not way to put it, Frank. Yeah.

So I might not need money. I need money. I will need hot dogs. I mean, at the very least, we need a lifetime supply of dogs. I need every week a pack of dogs at my house. Don't ask what I'm gonna do with them. I would like a guy to show up to my apartment at three o'clock every single day.

And just show you his dog. Not an already dog. Yeah, and like, buns out. Buns out. You want buns out. Man sweaty hot man at your door. Buns out dog out. He's chilly on it.

And you're ready to suck it down. Frankie, I know what you're doing. I'm not an idiot, but Jesus Christmas. That's what you asked for, Joey. You're mad. What's the race of this man? Just, I want to know. The race of what man?

The man with the dog in your door. Could be any man. The the man with the dog in your door could be any man the man shuffling his your Shuffling his dog in your door. That's not what I said was gonna happen. You want to open up full porn I'm sure for once are there are there hot dog pornos What tell me mr. porn boy? Why am I mr. porn boy anytime something comes up. You're like oh yeah, there's a porn for that That has happened on this show maybe thrice. I don't know about that there I know you've told me you've seen videos of people farting on cakes and Was one time shoving like zucchini's in them and then fucking that never happened mother-in-laws and stepmoms of course that's happened You are porn boy, and you know your porn boy. I also don't know if there's a hot dog porn

But if there's not that's another opportunity Greg Greg Yeah, that's what said I got a student is getting into now, huh hot dog porn good for you Now we do have to reach out to a hot dog company and see what's going on. Listen. We should have a hot dog eating contest But not even a contest. Let's just enjoy it. Let's just put let's do a a hot dog tasting contest. Let's do a, let's do a, I have an idea. What do you have on hate? You're very, you're very excited. You're so good. You're very excited.

Let's, what I was saying, let's do a power hour with pigs in a blind shoot. And every minute you got to eat it, we would probably be died. Pig in the blank. Are you kidding me? Or maybe we switch on and off. three minutes, you gotta eat it. We would probably be died. Bigs and the blank is stupid. Are you kidding me? Or maybe we switch on and off.

So it's 30 pigs and a blank in and 30. And it's like a beer. It's like a shot to beer. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Is 30 pigs and a blank in a lot? Why are you saying it like that? A pack normally comes with 24.

So I can run through that. I know, but this is, that'd be fun. How about every 10 minutes? We have five. No, that doesn't No, that's a lot. It's ten times six six times five thirty the exact same thing No, all right, so how about we do this? We start off with the dogs, right? We have we will throw up. Yeah, we have a hot we have a pig in a blanket For the first 10 minutes. That's 10 for the next half hour. We do the beer then the last 20 minutes we do something else. No, I want beer all the time then we do it for for the rest of the day. I say we do the first 40 minutes beer, and then the last 20, 20,

dogs. Picks in a blanket? I can fucking rule that. That's what we're doing. Okay. I'm excited for that. All right. I'm just signing for the Patreon.

Patreon.com slides to base me out because we are gonna do this hot dog challenge, the hot dog and beer challenge that we have created right now. And we're trying to get a sponsor for it, but that ain't gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. But we're just gonna say it, put it out in the universe because you know how to-

YUNI! That's me talking to the universe. YUNI? YUNI, it's the same. We go on a personal basis. That's cute. Nicknamed. We're gonna find you.

FLB is 88.85 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez and all of the forms of social media and then make sure you go check out that Patreon. Like Joey said, then you can find Joey at his handle, Joe Sannagato. You can find the basement yard at all forms of social media. Or you can find Joey at his new social media handle, which is January 6th was a great day. Go check it out. Joey's news handle, don't say anything.

Cut it right here, Josh. Cut it right here. See you guys next time. Cut it right here Josh. Cut it right here. See you guys next time.