The Basement Yard - #404 - Are We Rizz Gods?

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

Are Joe and Frank the GODS OF RIZZ? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, tell him about your shirt. Fuck you. Why, I was, you know what's funny in my head, I was like, I'm just gonna have a normal like, hey, how you doing? And then you had to throw something in it. That was not very nice. It's a cool shirt. I agree, I love this shirt. Can I touch it? Yeah. It's kind of soft.

Let me touch that, finish. I like it. It's pretty soft. I would like if my underwear was like that. I kind of like, we've gone from like, I brought back Hawaiian shirts and I'm thinking if we did like- That's a bold statement. No, I stand by. Everyone, there was one year, it was like 2015, people were like, seriously, and then 2016,

I noticed other people were buying and wearing Hawaiian shirts. I fucking started it. Right. Well, that started. I fucking started it. Right. Well that started I brought it back, right and You're welcome America, I guess I don't know. I don't know what to say there But I'm very proud of my and I'll I'll wear them to the day. I die Okay, maybe not that long. Hopefully not that's a long time But I was recently like going through my clothes and like donating some stuff like old stuff that I didn't want a lot of

Graphic teas. Yeah, a lot of graphic teas. Yeah, a lot of them. Yeah. Anything good? Uh, you some... It's no. Oh, okay. Wait, hold on.

Good by who's standard? Yes. Or mine in 2018. I mean, yeah, that's what I mean. Um, and how many superhero shirts did you have? Did I? Yeah. I mean, and how many superhero shirts did you have? Did I? Yeah.

Oh, shhh. Name a superhero and I probably had a shirt for him. I or her. Yeah, I had an Iron Man shirt. Oh, Superman. I have a Superman. Batman. Spider-man.

Yeah, yeah. Wolverine. Didn't have a Wolverine shirt. Although, I had this one shirt that was like the periodic table of elements, but it was superheroes and supervillains Yeah, not my proudest moment This guy's got a wife and kids. Yeah, well, that's why I donated it. Yeah, two months ago. Let's be very clear about yeah I know yeah, um also I'm having a health morning I actually had therapy this morning grads and I usually I usually do it on FaceTime Yeah, I'm away therapy this morning. Congrats. And I usually do it on FaceTime,

on the way over here. Did it in person? No, I usually do it on FaceTime on the way over here. And I have a thing in my vent where I put my phone, so I'm holding it right here. Yeah, yeah, just like the rest of America. For some reason, when I went to go put my phone in it, the thing exploded in my vent,

like the thing came off for whatever. Okay. So I had to hold it, but I wasn't looking at it, but I was holding it. Oh, you know, I got pulled Oh, you did get pulled over. You did get pulled over. Yeah, I did. You get a ticket?

Mm-hmm. There goes your car insurance. It's about to fucking double if not triple. Is that true? Yeah. What was the ticket for? Driving while using electronic device? Oh, yeah, your car insurance is going to climb a little bit.

He just gave me a thing and I was like, what, how much does ticket is? There's no dollar amount? It says plead guilty Well, yeah, that's what all the tickets are is like you plead guilty and then you pay a fine for it If not call this guy's fucking bluff say I plead not guilty show up to court make them have to show up to court Well, I also I admitted He goes why are you looking at your phone? I was like I was on face on my therapist and he was like a figure I was like how did you figure that he down my therapist. And he was like, a figure. I was like, how did you figure that out? He saw you and he said, white, nice car.

Needs therapy. He's got depression. This guy is fucked up. This guy is fucked up mentally, probably. No, that's your car insurance go climb just a little baby. That's just getting fucked up. I would say hypothetically, if you pay $300 a month, it's going to go to like 4-20.

What? Might, yeah. Why? Because those tickets are not very driver friendly. I think when Becca and I first started dating she got pulled over for it. She wasn't using her phone. I think she was just like clicking like a map thing on it and she got a ticket and I think until like last it goes away if

you don't get I think it's like four years it goes away completely off your like car insurance like fucking quote or whatever same thing with like accidents they won't affect you like four years later or something like that but by that time the rates have already gone up so it's like what's the difference yeah you know but yeah it's all right balls, your balls are gonna be fucked right here Oh my god You should have at least made it like something cool like you were watching porn You should have said you know really leaned into it. Oh, that would have been so cool. I

Mean what what are you gonna tell this cop like sorry? I was fucking Talking to my therapist. No, I'll be like I was just walking some rad hardcore fucking like triple bypass porn. I don't know what triple bypass porn That's a surgery for people that have heart attack I'm not quite sure what the categories are but you know what I mean like how did you land on that of all things? I just I thought of I think three summers where I was thinking and I thought you went to triple bypass What do you want me to say baby? I got cholesterol and hot dogs on the brain. Do you blame me? It is dog sucking season It's a fact. I haven't had a hot dog still. No, I haven't really Disappointing I know putting a bad a bad name on us is the hot dog sucking connoisseurs. I know but

Did you see Chris is definitely was in a hot dog commercial? Was he? Yeah. For who? Nathan? No, not Nathan. I forgot the name of the brand, but... Oh. I saw it. Nathan or bus.

So good for him. That's awesome. But someone commented like, damn, it's guy beat you to the punch. And honestly, a little bit. God damn it. I'm a little upset about it, but it's okay. I'm very upset about it, actually. You haven't had a single hot dog.

You don't have to be... You don't have the right to be upset about anything right now Okay, have a hot dog then we can talk hmm, but that sucks, dude That sucks. I really pissed off about that. I've gotten pulled over. I didn't even know I was getting pulled over I pulled into the gate and the lady at the front was like You're getting pulled over and I said what oh, he like in the in the yard. Yeah, bro What I turned in apparently he was behind me with his lights on I didn't hear shit What do you therapist say that was another? I just put him down I go I think I'm getting pulled over. I'll call you back and I hung up on him. Yeah

Yeah, that's real fucking bad luck But I was pulling in and the lady was like I think you can pull dope. I was like what what was that accent? What just a loud Spanish woman? She was black. Oh But she was like I think you can pull over and I was like what and then she's like the cops are but I was like I'm getting pulled over. She's like yeah the cops are right behind you. Oh, okay. But she was like, I think you can pull it over and I was like, what? And then she's like, the cops are, I was like, I'm getting pulled over. She's like, yeah, the cops are right behind you. I was like, oh shit. Yeah. And then she's like, yeah, she's like, pull over.

I was like, all right. And I, listen, that's, that is such a fucking, I, I am not. Falled me into the yard. But first of all, yeah, you should have just went through and what was he gonna do, follow you in? Yeah, you can, you can't follow you in, right? I would like to be involved in a police chase one day wouldn't that be cool? No, dude to be in a police chase I'm just saying at the end you it's like it's like it's a weird joking around. It was the social experiment

Brank you get out and you just say yeah, you know like so bring Vitaly's ZTV or whatever that kid's name was on YouTube You come out you're like it's all a big joke. Yeah, no Who was it? I think it was Chris Rock in a standup. He said Chris Rock anymore for me name was on YouTube you come out you're like it's all a big joke yeah no who was it I think it was Chris Rock in a stand-up he said Chris Rock any more free a comedian a black comedian said like if you run from the cops you have to understand that like there's an ass woman who've been coming for you oh yeah big time which incorrect shouldn't happen but nonetheless it does so maybe you can do it maybe put that on your bucket list to run from the cops just run from the cops

I Think I've ran from the cops on foot. I've always we've definitely run from the cops on foot. Yeah, that's that's cool I always see jumping fences remember when your fence dumping like running from the cops jumping hopping fences Yes, that's a lot of fun It was a lot of fun because we only had to do it, you know once a year There are people have to do it, you know, to fucking find better, you know, freedom and solace and get into a country where you laugh at their fucking pain, don't you? Why was I-

Why was I- I always watch car chase videos and I'm like, how do people get caught? Like, I understand like if they have a helicopter. They have a crash. Well, yes, but like if they have a helicopter and it's like always following you, sure. But bro, I'm finding the nearest forest. I'm going in. I'm clear. I'm good. I'm not getting caught Listen to what you just said. I'm finding the nearest forest. Yeah, what's wrong with that? They're forests everywhere, dude

Also, maybe not in New York City also where you have a car chase in New York City and fucking bumper to bumper on the BQE It's gonna be a short. I figured out. No, you won't. There was car chases in Astoria. Yeah, Astoria was a little more wide open though, Joey. Yeah, so I'll pick a neighborhood like that. I'll fuck it. When you get fucking double fucked if you get caught though.

And also you can hurt some people too. Yeah, because all the schools that are in the area, all the fucking speed zones, all the parks and stuff like that. You think I'm worried about a fucking speeding ticket? I'm running from the law, baby. I'm out of Joey, I think, like, if you get caught, you get, like, all those fucking concurrent charges. Forget about the fucking tickets, I'm gonna yell!

Yes, but it's gonna add up. If you were to just stop and be like, all right, maybe, you know, maybe just take me in, let's talk. Let's give my lawyer, now you're just making a way worse for yourself. Never run from the law, Joey. What's wrong with you? I'm not saying that I am running from the law. I pulled over today for the law. Listen, which wrong with you? I'm not saying that I am running from the law. I pulled over today for the law.

Listen, the long dick of the law got me. Find a forest, go in. Where's the nearest forest? Flushing. Flushing metal park. That's a park. You just named somewhere where there is a tree. I don't know.

Yes, you're correct, I did, actually. Oh, but down by the dumps where there is a tree. I don't know. Yes, you're correct, I did, actually. Oh, but down by the dumps by like Rikers Island. I actually don't. No forest. There is. There's like greenery back there. Protected by offense.

Yeah. I don't have to knock the fact that out. And also, you're right next to Rikers Island. You're literally doing them a favor. Yeah. I'll just run straight to a jail cell. Yeah. I don't know. You know what But by me, I'll get out.

No problem. You know what I'm saying? You think you can allude the law? I think. Well, like, what are they chasing me for? And how much are they going to pour into? Who cares? Well, it does.

Oh, eventually, if you're, I think if you're really good at running from the law, then they set up those spike strips. That's so cool. Do you know how bad I want to throw out spikes? I would love to blow someone's fucking tie. I I want to throw out spikes? I would love to Blow someone's fucking tires out with those spikes. I Like it's like a dream of mine to just like fucking roll that thing and you're like this guy's fucked and just like you know Because there's nothing they could do right and when they drive over it you could like

Yeah, and you're like this guy's fucked yeah, and then what when they drive over it, you could like, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. Yeah, and you're like, this guy's fucked. Yeah, and then what? And then they drive on the rims. That's kind of scary too. That is, but what would happen and grant that thought on, I would keep driving on the rims. Oh, 100%. I would be like driving sideways down a street

and stuff like that. If your tires hit a spike belt, is that what it's called? Yes, cool. Wouldn't you just like flip? No, because they roll over them, Joey. I know, but like they puncture the tires. Yeah, but like wouldn't that like, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, because the idea is that you don't want to kill

the person that's driving, because criminals have rights too. I know how often you say you don't believe that. Here we go. You don't want to kill the person. In theory, if you didn't care about their life, you just put out a fucking barricade. You know, just like a wall. I their life, you just put out a fucking barricade You know just like a wall I don't think you could just make a wall. This is a hot word

You could put out like those those barricades that they have in front of like you know like government buildings where they're like built into the ground So when they hit they just fucking what pangs? Why do you think that they could build like the reason why they do the spike strip is because it's so easy to just roll it out They probably have it in their trunk. Yeah, you can't just build a fucking wall I'm sure they you think you're a beaver. You can just build a damn It does take damn beavers to quite a while to make a damn I'm aware also I watched a bird make a nest This is a bird making a nest in our gutter right now, and it's so cute. I like that. I kind of don't want to get it away.

No, why would you get rid of a nest? Well, we got our gutters clean not long ago and they said like, you got a big old problem. And we're like, what's the problem? They're like, bird. And it's like, oh yeah, well, it's fucking, there's so many of them. Yeah, it's Niche. Who cares? It's what I'm saying.

You get some pretty cool birds. And I thought like, imagine getting rid of a nest. Like, that took so much time. Yeah, and they make it so like nice like how are birds like fucking smart You know what I mean? I've always thought birds were fucking dumb idiots flying rats. I deserve to die but like they have like an actual like spherical curvature inside their nest since like how do they do that?

I don't know man, but nest do look very comfortable and I would like to sleep in one If there was a big enough nest Out sleeping it also speaking of giant birds. I've been watching on Apple TV the prehistoric planet. No bro Fire I never realized how into dinosaurs I am bro You know velociraptors had feathers like birds. Yeah, that's why I've been live Remember the episode where I told you that the closest living relative to a T. Rex is a chicken because we found that dinosaurs back then more likely had More bug like bird like features cool, and you didn't fucking believe me you wait it

Oh, how could I just believe you you say a lot of shit on this fucking Podcast name one other thing I say I don't really listen exactly you fuck everything I say here is true I retain nothing on purpose because if I took what you said and remembered it, I would go home and slam my head in the fridge. You do that anyways, Joey. Let's be honest. Not all the time. No, they did. They had feathers. And like they were like, that makes them somehow more scary. I'm more afraid of birds and amylisters. But they're smaller. I feel like I could beat off a...

I was gonna say, I feel like I could beat off a... I was gonna say, I feel like a beat off of a velociraptor. I know what you were gonna say, but I could beat it off of me. But not a bunch of them. You can only beat off one. So you're only able to beat off one after at a time, yeah.

Yeah, and I thought that T-Rexes weren't as big too, because I don't know why I thought I heard that. Apparently. Oh, they're big. Yeah, but apparently they have smaller arms. Like they had arms that were like this, and now their arms are like stupid fucking, like basically just nipple fingers. Watch it.

Watching that show, you realize how disgusting the arms of these dinosaurs are. Yeah, it's gross. They're like this big. Yeah, they suck. And they're, what's the point? Honestly, no point. No point.

No point. They can't use anything. They're not using it to grab anything. Maybe you just don't even give them arms at that point. Just to scratch right here. Not even. Oh, that would be a nice itch to scratch. Imagine if you got an itch like in the middle of your back and you had something you could

scratch it with. What? Like these T-rexes just have like an itch right here. They're just like, it's all it's for. I can reach the center of my back. No, you fucking can't, Joey. Everyone has a part on their back that can't reach. Which part?

Above that. Above. Are you touching your hands right now? Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No way I could do that. You could, you could touch it. your hands right now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Joey? Velociraptor? Stegosaurus. Ooh, I do like Stegosaurus's. Triceratops are cool too, because they got a lot of...

I like Triceratops. And they're just fucking like, what's up, bitch? I do like Triceratops. Stegosaurus are pretty cool. Were they the ones that had the spiky tails with the balls on it? I think I swing that bad boy. I am oddly like, I kind of enjoy... I like the big ones with the long neck that he trees

Oh, I hate those little fucking cucks first of all not little and why are they cucks? They're fucking huge and cool No, they're not huge and well no, sorry. They were huge when they were not that cool when they walk They walk slow and it looks like a bunch of like a whole city moving together Big head no, but they're just like big when When you're that big, be a fucking badass. Like these dumb ass fucking doot doot doot doot. Like that's what I hear when I see them fucking walking and eating out of trees. When you're that big, you should have a thirst for blood.

Not fucking, you know, photosynthesis. The thing is just called shrubbery. Not photosynthesis. Photosynthesis is the process that I know what it is. Well then don't fucking correct me. Well then you were wrong. Don't think I was wrong. You were.

Yeah, I like dinosaurs too. Ruby's going through a big dinosaur phase right now. Bro, I think it's called Camcretaceous on Netflix. It's like a kid's Jurassic Park show, but it's like Jurassic Park. Camcretaceous. That's what it's called. What's Cretaceous? It's an era in which our history when fucking dinosaurs lived. The Cretaceous era, Joey. Is that true? Jurassic, Triassic, Cretaceous. I don't know if exactly, but that's what it's called.

I'm just letting you know. I'm reporting the news here. I'm taking crustaceans. Maybe that's when they were from I don't know Caputo Omni you're naming Pokemon, but an omni is an actual like fossil is it? Yeah, baby people I've been I've got no weird place on tic-tac where people just go through shoul and they find just spherical things They crack them open and there's a fucking fresh ominite fossil in it. Shole? Shole. What's that? Rock.

Oh. You're using words that I don't. Well, maybe maybe a little fucking smarter. You done, Midi-it. Yeah, hold on. Instead of jacking off fucking Velociraptors, maybe look at, you know, fossil tic-tocks. I'm watching prehistoric planet. I'm learning about 66 million years ago.

But I'm so pumped. I don't care. I'm so pumped because Ruby's watching the show and like, there's like scary dinosaurs in it. It's not like it's like kid looking dinosaurs. They're like legit, like the T-Rex. But she's not pussy. She is so fucking down.

Yeah. She watched it and she's like, let's fucking go. She falls at dinosaurs in the water. She likes the water ones the most. Ooh, I like the water dinosaurs. No, this scare me, bro. I yield the birds. Fuzzos! Ooh, I like the water dinosaurs. No, this scare me, bro. I yield the birds. Fuzzos!

Dude, I saw one episode of like, there's these birds, right? Hmm. And I forget what they're called. But then, Teradans, I don't know. Okay. But like, they killed like a baby of some fucking dinosaur or whatever. And then he brings it to an island, right? And he puts it down and then he puts like sticks around. And basically in dinosaur language, he's making like a smoke signal that says,

yo, I'm trying to fuck someone's ass. Damn. Yeah. And then he stands like this. And then like, he just gets big. They got big and shit. And he shows like, I got big wings. I got that thing.

How did they know that dinosaurs used to do that shit? Like, who's fucking like studying David Adam burrow, bro But anyway, so I'm sure it's Richard. No, it's David. I've been watching the show, bro. It's fucking Dave Okay, okay, I'll female shows up and she's like looking around like oh, bitch Like coming through the club. Yeah, she's like oh, you got food you got big wings and you wrote a little fuck me message This is hot. And then she's just like, that's all it takes. So then she starts saying.

I guess that is all it takes. Well, she's really checking them out. Like she's like, yo, she's like, she's like kind of like fucking like, just going around and just like, I in this fucking teradown and something. Yeah, and it's just them on a small island. It's a tiny island.

And then, so she's like sizing them up, being like, I don't know, of course, you know? Of course she's gonna go for it being like I don't know of course you know of course she's gonna go for it because of the implication because of the implications there's nowhere to go there's really nowhere to go but then he has to like pick the thing up again he's like well look I killed this thing like it's just for you yeah he off you know what I guess this is where most of our modern dating techniques come from and then a dude shows up. Uh-oh. So now it's like I got a fight now. So wait a sec. Yeah. Is the dude coming because it's just like he flew over and he's like I'm gonna try to take this guy or is it like? No, he hit up his boy in the water. He hit up his boy

He's like, yo like do me a favor like try to fight me and I'm gonna fight you off so I can give the idea. Oh, no I think this is this is the end. Oh shit. it was a legit battle. Okay. Alright. So he had to fight off this guy while he's fighting off the guy he fights the guy and the guy like kind of eventually flies away. He turns around bitch is gone. So now she gets I hate when bitches do that. Well take it easy with the bit. But now he has to fuck his boy. But then she flew back. Oh no the boy flew away. Then she came back and then they started like touching their beaks together And I was like is this like is that a dinosaur shit? How they're like eating each other out? Yeah, I know, but then they were like so their beaks were like hidden like this

Did it make a cool sound It was like when you hit pencils together. I know that's not that cool. It's okay. That sounds pretty sick I birds are weird when they mate because all they do is they like fucking get big and they dance and then then they then the woman's like come on come on come home come home with mama. I don't think that I've ever seen birds have sex. I've seen I've seen three different pairs of flies fucking in the last month. Bro flies fuck like crazy fuckers. Fucking college kids. Dude it's insane. They're fucking like Puma's and my mom's front yard boom bang

I saw to and they're on a chain link fence. Yeah, that's kind of hey anywhere anytime that matter But it says just small surface get yourself on a nice like flat surface for them Joey It's a big surface. You know how flies be they be small I Saw squirrels having sex that must be cool bro. They fell out of the tree having sex well She why you pile driving her bro. There is a tree in front of my house And there's like a little like did they keep going on the ground? No, you know how you know how there's like in like trees Whatever you see like any cartoon or whatever there's like a hole and an owl lives in it Yeah, we have the whole no owl very upset about it

But maybe there's a bag of money and there's a ransom. That's what they used to do, too No, no, no, we've put we've put enough stuff in there to know there's nothing in there. You've put in stuff in the tree. Yeah, like what? We feed the animals in our neighborhood. We put any time after Christmas we put our old Gingerbread houses in there. No, so nice of you. Yeah, imagine being a squirrel and you go and there's a fucking gingerbread house covered in M&M's gum drops and frosting in your house. I don't like gingerbread, but I hear like the fucking shit ruffling and I'm just like whoa What's going on up there and I look and There's squirrels going at it bro going at it squirrels gone wild this fucking the girl squirrel had her fucking tail

She was holding it holding her own tail had her fucking tail she was holding it holding her own tail She was holding her own tail. She was holding her dear life. This guy just like go open it up. Yeah dude this fucking guy squirrels behind her and he's just fucking giving her every bit of his nuts Yeah, and she's fucking holding on like holy shit for dear life Wouldn't you yeah, and then he hit it a little too hard and they fucking fell to the ground common mistake with squirrels ran the other way Oh Too hard and they fucking fell to the ground common mistake with squirrels ran the other way Oh, I got a lot of squirrel. They saw you know like Jill's he's coming five oh good You're dressed like a retired cop so they probably thought you Joey

They probably thought he's a cop get out of here. He's gonna go. They fell they ran the other way I don't know if they were found their way back to each other. I always do. I hope they did if it's true love You will find your way back. Well, I don't know if it was true love. back to each other. They always do. I hope they did. If it's true love, you will find your way back. Well, I don't know if it was true love. He was hitting in a little too, like, a little too, like, angrily. You know what I'm saying? And like, there was some pain behind those fucking strokes.

Maybe it was, you know, there was a, it was like a barter, say, any other animals besides dogs and cats that I've seen like fucking go at it. I saw a video of a gorilla going at it once and let me tell you something Those things know what they're doing Bet kind of wild they give one of the most physically imposing animals on the planet the smallest dicks Gorilla has small wing gangs bro. You ever seen a gorilla dick?

Yeah, not that great. Yep. Yeah, should I add Joey? Like I said look at that you should not that great. Yep. Yeah, Joey. Like I said, look at that. You should. Not that great. No. Cooler than ours. No. You have it. Put it like this. Even you have a bigger dick than a gorilla. The first picture is this. Can you show me? Yeah, I'm going to show everyone actually.

No, don't show everyone. We'll instantly get demonetized. I don't know why it won't let me like zoom in on it, but well, thankfully. It's a girl like dancing on a gorilla. Dancing? I haven't seen any cuds. Oh, these are not cool.

These aren't cool penis. No, they're not. Back up recently, the other day, backer goes, hey, did you see? Hold on, this one's got a fucking slam banger. Has this fucking rolling around with a sludge hammer? Fat nuts. Really? Yeah.

Big old porcupines. Am I looking at? Never mind. I'm gonna, this is it. It's just human penis, Joey. I'm. No, no, no. I was just looking at man, human man I'm gonna. This is it. I'm just human penis Joey. I'm no, no, no, it was I was looking at man human man penises. No, okay Back of the other day goes hey, I saw a TikTok and it was like what it was like those slideshow pictures

Where it's like what and it was like monster clocks monster fox monster docs and then it was a picture of you and I. And she's like, and she was like, what does that mean? That TikTok thinks you have monster clocks? And I was like, I mean, thanks. Yeah. Monster talk about it. We were talking about it.

And I was like, yeah, wait until they're disappointed and she goes, you're gonna show them your house. Yeah. 40,000 patrons. Yeah, well careful. We're hanging Yang, but I Love I love when we start off and things just go awry. Mm-hmm. It's about a ride by the way AWRI I'm very proud of you because I would not thanks dad be more patronizing your obi would not. Thanks dad. Be more patronizing. You're a bitch. Just because you've wanted to say that exact sentence to your dad doesn't mean you could say it to

me. I'm practicing. Okay. Where'd association go? Burrito. One teen. One teen. One still 11. One teen I guess. One teen. I want to. You are wanting a burrito. We haven't done word association in so long. I had a burrito yesterday. That was a good. It was very good. All right. Where'd association go? Pig. One. Okay. No, no, no, I'm not going to stop doing that. Well, what's wrong with you? It's just like the first thing. What are the, this is a funny story that no one else will

get but Joey and I. A couple of years ago, we did Thanksgiving. I like the Thanksgiving dinner at your place. OK. And people are in the other room. And someone's shot, you and I are talking like this close to each other Laughing drinking and like talking about nothing stupid stuff and someone from the other room yells

Hey, Joey. What's the Wi-Fi password and you look he stares at me? Doesn't break eye contact doesn't break stride just looks at me and goes one I just mean goes one. I forgot and we were fucking in tears. It was a wine, dude. It was 100% the wine. I did that to like my mom sometimes too. Or she'll like ask me for something. Like the wifi password.

One. That's two. Can't help it. Um, we do have some responses for today. The first one being, hello, better help. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. We just talked about therapy. And like I said, I had therapy this morning.

BetterHelp is a great way to get involved in some therapy. You can start talking to a therapist in Shender 48 hours. It is great. I've definitely benefited from therapy other than this morning when I was pulled over during therapy So I don't suggest taking it from the car but You know it is customizable you can do a phone calls or you know set up your schedule whenever you please Preferably when you're not driving

Make sure you are stationary in a home so you can't get a ticket from the police but anyway stationary in a home so you can't get a ticket from the police. But anyway, go check out Better Help. It is a very affordable, more affordable than in-person therapy. And that's one of the best things about it, honestly. They have licensed therapists in all 50 states, and they make it very seamless to, you know, jump from therapists to therapists so you can find the right fit for you. On top of it being affordable, you can get an extra 10% off of your first month at BetterHelp.com slash Basement Yard. That is BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Basement Yard. So go save your 10% off your first month with BetterHelp and do your brain a favor, okay?

And we also have Rocket Money here. Rocket Money is an all all one personal finance app. It's going to help you save money budget And other stuff too. You're gonna put money in your pocket One of the coolest things about it is that they can cancel a subscription about you for you So something you've paid for that you don't even know you're paying for it They'll help you identify these things you sign up for a free trial like a while ago And then I'll send your paying for it right now. You can do that and I've saved a couple bucks with rocket money identifying these things, you sign up for a free trial like a while ago, and then I'll sign your paying for it right now, you can do that. And I've saved a couple bucks with Rocket Money identifying these things.

I was paying for a site for like, it was like a merch site that I never set up. I never even set it up, but I was paying to host on the site, and I didn't even know, for years, like four years that I was paying for this. But with Rocket Money, it helps me identify that, and I could cancel it, and you put that money back in your pocket.

So, it's not just leaving now. But yeah, so they do that, like I said, they help you budget, they can help you lower bills, if you upload a picture of your bill, they can try and help lower the bill for you. So, yeah, stop throwing away your money. Cancel and want to subscriptions, and manage your expenses the easy way, by going to rocketmoney.com slash basement, that is rocketmoney.com slash basement. It makes sense. On average, people are saving $720 a year. You'd rather have that money, okay? So rocketmoney.com slash basement, get to it folks, all right?

The other place I need to make sure you get to is Patreon Patreon.com.com.com.com. So, basically, you know, folks, we fucking did it, baby. We hit 22,000 patrons on Patreon.com.com.com.com. Thank you so much, and as promised, yeah, you damn right, for our patrons, for that second tier, we're doing a branch episode, baby. Mimmies, bellies, maybe some bacon, please, God almighty, I need bacon, which you don't want to miss it because you know how serious Joey and I take our brunches. So you can go to patreon.com, slash the base of a new idea senate for that first here in these weekly episodes

that you see right here, Bing, Bang Boom, all the people in this room that you can't see, they'll tell you about it. You get these weekly episodes a week in advance. You get it on the conversation, the TikToks, the fun, the jokes, the stupidity. Joey probably saying something insensitive. All of that stuff on these weekly episodes,

a week in advance, you've signed up for that first year. Well, then that second tier, that's where you get those exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. 7am, it's the summer, it's dog suckin' season. How else do you wanna start your weekends? But with more of the basement yard, right? Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Patreon's the one for me. It knows how to get down. It knows how to party, baby. All the girls love it style.

Patreon drives us wild with its high pro file. Go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard and it's low and low baby. Those very sexual. Do you like it? It sounded like a sex phone operator. Right. I want to tell you what it is because I know it will awaken a part of your brain you have forgotten about. Please tell me. I can't say right now.

Because I don't want to ruin it. I want the people to try to figure it out for themselves. They're sitting there watching this and they're going like what the fuck it did be dumb. And then they're going to tweet at us or post, wow, I can't believe you did this. Oh my God, I forgot this existed. Does that happen? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, okay.

Absolutely. People are impressed by the way I'm able to bring some nostalgia to the show. I'm also humor and joy and charm and friendship. Ah! And friendship. Yeah, and fucking friendship. But yeah, so.

Monster Cox. Also I have written down here. Oh my God. I want to skip something because I want to get to the baby grog stuff. But you know baby grog. So no. Yeah, so that's the- It's a child.

I figured by the baby part of it, but is it like how old are we talking baby? Because when I hear baby, I think like two to four. How old is baby? Or like one, I think like one to three is baby. Or toddler, I don't know. But not old. Just shut up. 10 years old.

That's not a baby. That's a kid. Kid Grunk. Whatever. Grunk kid. Whatever. So he's 10 years old and some other dude Made a video talking about it. Apparently he's like this like

Prospects 10 years old, but he's like good at football Prospect but bro, do you know this kid? Hold on. I would have been a fucking D1 athlete if I was a prospect at 10. Are you kidding me? Hold on ready? Listen We just convinced baby drunk to commit to LSU Hold on, ready? Listen. Okay, hold on, pause. Ha ha! What the fuck does any of this mean? Livia Rizz and Biz, Bizwick came and Rizzed on Baby Grog's Fizz. Livia was very-

And then he was a fucking big ol' fat ol' giggle gang and the big ol' tune, tune run on Livia and Grog. Like, what the fuck does any of this mean? Livia at LSU Rizzed up Babyronk, the king of new Riz, having it? What? All right, so we recently talked, I understand, I recently learned what Riz is.

Right, yeah. Riz is like a non-quantifiable charm that people that are normally not that good looking have. I'll make it. That's just charisma. Come on, there you go, charisma, yeah. So, so, Rizz King is like,

Rizzing up? Rizzing up is like, what, flirting? I don't know what the Rizz King is. Nor do I know who holds the crown at the moment. Apparently it's a tenure- I mean, I think if we were to, well, definitely not a 10-year-old. I know, Livia,

I know how much you love Rizzing Up kids. Do you know, I don't understand. You bastard fuck. First of all, do you know who Livy is no clue? It looked like it was some blonde. I assume she's a college age at least cuz she's an LSU. Yeah Livy she's her name is Livy done. She was on that she's 20 years old. Okay, that doesn't full decade Older than this 10-year-old who this kid's like she was risen up a tent Hey, man illegal stuff. Hey man grooming gross stuff being fat grooming big fat grooms

She's like a I think she's a gymnast at LSU Okay, she's like famous on social media. She's a pretty girl, but like okay, and she goes LSU Okay, and she goes LSU Rizzy Rizzy Don, sorry, Libi Libi Rizzy Don, Libi the Riz Queen is Rizzing up, Rizing up LSU Riz, no, she's Rizing up the baby Grok who's now the Riz King because he was Riz by the Riz Queen I also love that we're keeping stats of 10 year olds in football games where it's like he average is 300 yards a game and five touchdowns It's like yeah, so the fuck did every other kid that played at that age?

Yeah, one kid ate a twinkie at a half time. What do you mean we're not professional athletes here? There was one kid in every football league that did everything that had 14 picks a game, 13 thrown touchdowns. Somehow the exact amount of caught touchdowns. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. Why are we doing that?

I don't know. I am lost here. Yeah, but are we doing that? I don't know. I am I am lost here Yeah, but Livy rised up the risking. We're busy. Do you think I have ris? Huh do I have a ris? I think we missed the boat on that we missed the boat on risk to old have a ris Are we I think so yeah? Oh look it up. What's the age limit on the ris? Oh? No, dude. We missed it, I promise. Why? Because back then we called it game. Oh, so like he was spitting game is like the same as like he's just risen people.

Yeah, you're getting Riz'd up, Riz'd up and all over. I love how just the world just works in one big, you know, time is a flat circle baby. It's just different words for different stuff. People are having fun. What do they call it back in like fucking, you know, like the fifties and forties like Cording no like court like you're courting a woman Cording yeah, that sucks. Yeah, actually kind of cool. Cording court like I have to court you. I'm courting. I think courting was more of like a you know like a fucking chivalrous like

Malady. Yeah, that's what they would do. Do you think I don't think game had anything to do if anything game was the opposite game was just about like lie and make yourself look more cool. I think that's what they would do. What do you think? I don't think game had anything to do. If anything game was the opposite, game was just about like lie and make yourself look more cool. I think that's what Rizzing is. But that's what the world is, Frank. Well, of course, yeah, that's what Instagram, baby. It's all fake. Yeah, what are we talking about? So yeah, what was game?

So we had game kids now have Rizz. Right. What did our parents have? Depression. Depression, alcohol. Right. What did our parents have? Depression depression alcohol Okay Isn't it crazy to think about that our parents when they went to school the teachers would be to shit out of them in the classroom In the classrooms

Yeah, and then they thought that's what should happen to us They were just like you just need a whooping from your fucking teacher in the classroom. In the classrooms, yeah. And then they thought that's what should happen to us. They were just like, you just need a whooping from your fucking teacher. I was once told my dad, I'm like, I'll let you know this right now. If any of my teachers ever hit me, I'm going to dog walk them out into the hallway.

I don't think we had a teacher that I couldn't beat the living dog shit out of. All of our teachers growing up, all of our teachers growing up were made a dust. They were barely hanging on particles. Pre-K, I don't know. She, she, she had, she had, she had pipes on her. She could have popped us up. She had booming pipes.

She had, I'm gonna say her name, Payalella. She out there, what's up? Shout out. Very close to Piaja, which I love. That is a very good dish. We were in different kindergarten classes. Who's your kindergarten teacher? Miss D, but she was I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you much about her outside of you know And you had miss singer I miss singer you wouldn't hit you she was a little like you should probably get me with the distance

Yeah, but also she she'd raise you up. I wish she'd groom the shit out of you probably first grade D. Philippi we would have fucking beat a shit out of Miss D. Philippine she was frail now she's fucking probably dead yeah probably second grade one flick to that spine and she's Parallel right now second grade it wouldn't even have been fun miss pogorban I would have further up Side down. Oh bitch second grade was not pogerman. Oh miss Machio. Machio was second. Oh my god Miss Machio, dude you if any of them were a blow wind out of she died any of them were to hit us It would have been her big time. I'm not confident that she didn't hit me You know what now I'm looking back on it. She might have hit me like verbally hit me. Oh, I was emotionally appreciate She fucked us up. She took away the yardstick and she brought out her fucking words. Yeah, yeah, really did damage Second grade we could have beat the shit out of her third grade. She could have we could have again miss Pogueer been dog wash fourth grade

It would have been a bit of a Younger she was younger. We liked her. I liked her you know fifth grade That's the only one that might stay in a chance because old German women have seen some shit They have they have and they've been and who knows what they trained to do. Yeah, she had short hair So she was more aerodynamics. She was I think we would have beat her But I definitely would have sweat during that fight. I would have made her like she wouldn't have come out unscathed First second and third grade though. It would have just been a wash. Yeah, it wouldn't have been cool. Just a dog walking. Yeah, no, no, no.

And then our gym teacher, the only one that could have beat us up was the Cinevich. Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah, he probably wanted to beat us up because we called him Mr. and the son of a bitch. He's Mr. and the son of a bitch, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Fucking asshole.

Do you think there were any teachers that legit wanted to hit us? Probably. Sixth grade, I had a, my teacher was a, oh no, that was seventh grade. A sp-a-a Chinese Spanish teacher. So I had one of those two. She was teaching her, her third language with her second language. Yeah, that's's kinda crazy.

Guess if I passed. No, 100% you didn't. No. Yeah. Didn't you tell me her name was like Miss Sin? Miss Xi. Okay. I had, there was a teacher in my sixth grade that would have fucking swung me like a baseball

bat. He ended up later getting arrested for pedaling steroids. Makes sense. Believe his name was Mr. Harris. I had Miss Ponzo. She was like a little Asian woman. She was very cute, but I do feel like she could fuck me up for some reason. And then sixth grade, there was a big, I don't know if he was a teacher or he was just like a school lay that helped out a bunch. His name was Mr. Duthu. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. He probably wanted to kill us and definitely could have, because my understanding he was in Vietnam. And...

Well... No, I know. I can't tell the story before. I don't know if you told on the show, but I do like the story. It's a funny story, but also really mean. Listen. Tell it. Tell it. Tell it's story. Kids also really mean. Listen. Tell it, tell it.

Tell it story. Kids are really fucking mean, okay? And we were all kids. They were all kids. Kids are really mean. Some kids in the school that I was in learned that some kids, some kids, not me, not me, I was a good boy.

Yeah. Learned that Mr. Duthu was in Vietnam. Fuck. And, and, and. And maybe suffered from pro-straumatic stress disorder. Maybe. Not fun. Not a joke. Not funny.

Very serious. Yes. But, but, but. Go ahead. There were kids in the sixth grade lunch room. Yes. In my sixth grade class, not my class, it was all of sixth grade They were like 13 sixth grade class of school is huge 141 wild place Principal guy hit my bus What? Yeah, a school bus or like a public bus?

I think a public bus. I hit by a bus. Yeah, and when they told the assembly, like a student, they cheered. New York City is a different breed of fucking children. Let me be very clear about that, okay? This fucking principal hit by a bus. They cheered. And they cheered, bro. They were elated.

That's far. So there were some kids in the sixth grade grade that found out that Mr. Duhu might have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. And what they would do to torment him was when, I was just waiting, when he would have his like back turned and he'd be like you're quiet down whatever there would be kids on the other side of the room going Oh my legs! That's so fucked up, dude. That's so fucked up. It's really fucked up, but the fact that people did it...

It's six graders, dude. It was real. Moniacle. And six jokes aside, I never did that. Because I... Like, it was a joke that I was never a part of, and by the time I learned it, I think people stopped. You know what I mean? Yeah. But... Holy shit. I was a joke that I was never a part of and by the time I learned it I think people stopped. You know what I mean? Yeah

But Holy shit. That is one of the most fucking Dark evil Historical Ways to get at someone. There's a bunch of stuff there. A bunch of stuff. Children. Yeah, I can't believe that your principal got hit by a bus Yeah, he got hit me. I'll say it again. Al d'Arossi, don't care. Oh, Al D'Arossi got hit by a bus. Yeah, you remember that bastard? Do you know one time he like grabbed me

in the yard when we'd go to that park? No, no, in front of the school. I like came to like pick you guys up and something and he like grabbed me and I pushed him. Good, because I was like, why is this man touching me? Yeah, I don't go here.

So I think needless to say, I don't go here. So I Think needless to say we weren't risen up any of our teachers and they weren't Really? Oh if anything is who you think was baby drunk it was Dennis I would say right? The kid was a star athlete. He was a star But there was no livy done back then where he could get risked up by the risk King God Girl Queen who's like the like what like Vanessa Huggins was like the livy done I don't I don't know who clearly what the fuck was that? I don't know who livy done is Joey I know but it's not that's not that's we didn't have these people they didn't exist. Yeah, I'm kind of

I'm getting scared with how little I know about like current like I am to I know about like current like I am too Just like people are out there like risen each other like is it like do they do that in like classes? Does people even pass notes anymore? Just text what Well, I've had a good old days in passing a note that said something along the lines of like don't fucking throw this out when you're done with it What would be pass notes about I remember one time a note that I was passing to Jamie and it said like, I like you so much. Yeah. And it was intercepted by the teacher.

Yeah. It fucking, it would come through me. It was in fifth grade when we would go down the hall to another classroom. With Barbario. Yeah, Barbario. She might have beat the shit out of us. She had nails on her.

And she was healthy too. And she was a healthy 5-7. Yeah, she was I Would intercept the notes and by intercept it would go from her to me to you. Yeah, okay Because of like I sent the note to her I know and and then she saw me with it. It never got it never made it but you guys So you guys I mean you guys were a match made in heaven people understood that then the Mount Carmel dance came up and you guys Riz'd each other up.

The Mount Carmel Dance. Oh damn dude. I remember school dances, fucking terrifying. I kind of remember them differently than you do. I didn't go to too many. I went to, I went to more in like middle and high school era and it was basically sex. I never went to one in high school. It was only before that. Well, because you went to a school where they'd be like, they put rulers in between you and the person dancing. That's not a joke. That's exactly what would happen.

Wait, what? Yeah, at fucking Catholic schools, a lot of people, I dated a girl that went to your school and she said that at their school dances, they would put rulers in between the people dancing and say like leave space for Jesus. I'm not fucking around Fuck off. Where on my children? No one has ever said leave space for Jesus. How the fuck do you know you went to one fucking party, Joey? No, I'm saying like in school though. They never like you know Jesus. No, but in school But like at school like dances and stuff like that maybe dude bro high school and middle school dances were

Insan I remember a kid coming up to me in a middle school dance and saying like yo, I was dancing with Christine And he's like like check my pants and I was like it was sticky. He was telling me he came his pants. Ooh this kid Christian Christian What came his pants. Ooh, this kid, Christian. Christian. What? Is this why you don't go to school dance to Joey because someone made you nut in your balls? Oh, it wasn't me, it wasn't me. Someone made you nut your balls. No, but the girl that he was dancing with

is Davino's cousin. He was Davino's cousin. But he's like, yo, I came to my pants. And I was like, why are you telling me this? Like, I don't want to know. Bro, what do you think was going to happen when you put 215, 16, 17 year olds in a dark room with fucking T-Pain, D4L, and Chris Brown on the story. And a bunch of chocolate milk.

Like, would you think it was gonna happen? Chocolate milk. Bro, people were sneaking in fucking alcohol left and right. They would have people at the front, and I remember when I was in middle school, it was in the cafeteria, and there was a front door and a back door, only way in, and they had people at both doors checking people going in, in and out, in and out, and in and out, and in and out.

And people would try to sneak in alcohol and succeed it all the time. Really? Fuck yeah, dude. Damn, let's talk more about underage raking after this. Uh, we do have sponsors. We have FitBod. FitBod's going to get you in shape for the summer.

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Lastly here we have Seeky Seeky that's where I buy all the tickets to all the baseball games or football games or concerts or whatever I recently went to a yanking game not so long ago You see geek and I sat in the legend suite So you paid a little up for it a little more but the reason why I did that is because it was a dark green ticket. They have a color coded system. If it's dark green, it means it's a really good price for that ticket. If it's dark red, it's a lot. So, you know, you want to stay away from dark reds. But yeah, they have over 20 million, 28 million downloads. It's a number one rated ticketing app. So people are loving it. So if you have a new seek geek you should download the seek geek app and you will save $20 off your first Order by using the code basement. So again download the seek geek app

You know use the code basement and you'll save $20 off your first seek geek order. So go out there Go to a nice concert, you know, blink when a two Drake something edg cheer and I don't fucking know but yeah The code is basement $20 off your first purchase so there you go folks The first person you bring up is blink when a two and you say I'm stuck in the past Joey It was written on the copy Frank. Oh, okay, but also blink when a two bro. I went down a rabbit hole the other day I'm a blank one on YouTube, bro. I went down a rabbit hole the other day. Oh, the smoochy, y'all.

You have changed that song forever for me and a lot of people. Listen, I am in the business of changing lives. And if I change one thing for people, it's a song. And you've ruined it. I don't think ruined it. I get so excited. Do you know, like, jokes aside, how pivotal of a moment that fucking first lamp poetry was like

Like seriously, I think they'll love that shit. It is oh I've been getting hit up like crazy Recently people are like yo, what the fuck where's the annual bro people lose their mind first of all not the annual We didn't do one in 21. What's up to? Did we not well 2020 we definitely didn't know we did in 2020. Yeah, first one was 2019 Second one was 2020. We didn't know we did in 2020. Yeah, first one was 2019 second one was 2020 We didn't like January or February. Oh, and then the third one was last year in 22 Listen, it's honestly one of it's I think it's the favorite my like our favorite series of videos that we've done And I'm going back to like the original original stuff because it just like it is such a stupid premise And it is just us being as dumb and it like ridiculous as we could be.

I remember when we first started shooting that video, I originally was thinking about how I wanted it to look after it being edited and I was going to treat it very seriously. I remember you told me you wanted to like make it look like dim lit. But I also like wanted the people who are in the crowd like me and Danny when you're up there like to not be laughing but be laughed so much that I was like why I'm not editing around this. Well I remember the first one is like I think it's like 12 minutes long or however long it is. It took us like an hour to record it because we couldn't get it. There was way more laughing in that one than any of the other ones and I had to like cut it out because I'm like

We can't even get through lines. Yeah, we couldn't it was really really tough. Yeah, that was a good one one day I'm gonna I'm gonna do a giveaway with that after we're like done and we've done like six or however many and you're like all right Like let's stop doing that. I'm gonna I'm gonna do a giveaway for that that notebook Because it's not even mine, it's Francisco. Francisco is very protective of his notebook. He's actually in hiding right now. He only comes out for when it's time to do, to perform. Right.

And then he goes back into hiding. He says something about capitalism or something. It makes him sick, so he has to hide. So, capitalism makes him sick. I don't know if you heard about this stuff, don't bet. We got a new it couple. Now, when I'm't know if you heard about this stuff. Don't bet We got a new it couple now when I'm talking a couple people think of baby Grockenlivey Rising each other. There's no. I don't know if there's risen or more spitting or zizzing or whatever

Sizzler there's benefit people people know of certain it couples through history benefit Brad and Jennifer Ben and Jennifer Ben and Jennifer. Yeah, and Jennifer. Yeah. Brangelina. Brangelina. Brangelina. You know, we can go to Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian was a knit couple for a little while. Pim. Pim.

Kardashian Davidson. We should have left the theaters. We should have moved forward. I should have quit while you were in here. Well, now the new knit couple, Joey, is Bill Murray and Colleagues. Oh my god, I heard about that. My milkshake brings up the voice to the yard. And apparently that milkshake is lace with prune juice.

Yeah, because Bill Murray's old ass is in there and he's sucking that milkshake down. Oh, what a weird combination. How the fuck did that? Here's the thing, I watch a documentary on Bill Murray once. He just does whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah. He just goes to parties and bars and like just like just shows up places sometimes. But how the hell did he where did he go that police was also there? Naz is ex-wife. For those of you guys that don't know, Colise has done she had a bit of a career in

hip-hop most notably for the milkshake song. My milkshake brings all the No, Collice has done, she had a bit of a career in hip hop. Most notably for the milkshake song, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And they're like, and damn right. It's better than yours. But like, where was he going that she was there? I don't know. You know what I'm saying?

That's so random. And he's old, he's old as fuck. What's his name? Cause she's 43? I think 44 really I thought she was old and that maybe huh. Let's look up Colise's age. I'll look up Bill Murray Colise age I put in milk Murray. What am I doing? Nineteh 43 she was born in 1979 he's 72 which is three years after he debuted on Saturday night live And he's 72 so there's a 29-year-age difference.

I guess so. That's not. So that's like Joey, if you right now, fulfill your dream and started dating a two-year-old. That is so disgusting to even joke about. You bastard. No, seriously, jokes aside. the age difference is you and Ruby. Yeah, okay. I'm just putting it in context of like people you know, you're obviously not- Why does it have to be me? You're not gonna date my daughter, Joey.

No kidding. But if you do have a home by fucking 10 p.m. I know funny business. Yo, you know you're gonna be that dead. Gonna be? Yeah, I probably already am in some ways. I don't know how I'm gonna act when they start dating. Any of them. Miles, Ruby, Maeve.

Who knows? Maybe they won't. I feel like dudes are gonna shit. Like when your daughter eventually has a boyfriend, I wanna be there so bad. Do you? Hi, how are you? How all you're sir? You're gonna be so like... god, I want to be there so bad. Do you? Hi, how are you, how all you're, sir? You're gonna be so like, no, I put her there. I think you, you don't, you don't see me in dad mode. You're gonna like do the two hand shake.

I hate the two hand shake. Don't remember what we learned during our, our fucking etiquette, that's, that's a way to show like, I'm in power here, so maybe I will do that. Remember our friend, Mike Amire told us that. Yeah. She said that I did that and she's like That's showing that you're gonna dominate like this interaction Jesus so maybe I can show my daughter's future boyfriend. Do you want to dominate him?

Then I'm gonna dominate them. You want to dominate yours in a non-Riz way in yeah, okay? Non-Riz without w-Riz L-Riz L-Riz there will be L-riz without w-riz L-riz L-riz there'll be L-riz F-riz domination F-riz yeah what you tell me I Don't know I don't know but my question that I had for you about this whole Millenary police thing is he the original risk God I don't know why that's so funny because traditionally not a great looking guy. Old Irish. What else do you need?

Bad combination there. Hair's barely hanging on. The Irish age like an apple. Yeah or like avocados. You put the Irish outside for too long and I know I'm Irish so listen. A day and they come out and they look like fucking dog shit. Yeah, I'll beat up But is he cuz like let's look at the career trajectory. Yeah, even Pete Davidson similar career paths Frankie no, they're not got started doing comedy one to SNL

stayed for a brief stint and then went on to do more with their life. Is Bill Murray? That's everyone on the Saturday life ever, Frank. That's not true. Bill Murray, dude, he's an icon. He's a living legend. I know. Is Bill Murray an original Riz God? Okay. Is he? I maybe. I don't know. Do you see him and say like there's something about him that's appealing? I would say the original R of his derrick jeder No, cuz he's just a fucking star athlete Multi-millionaire good-looking guy. Yeah, Riz. I think needs to come from a place of like less. Oh, okay, you know like

He's you know what he's all right. He's talking to say into these things got something about him. Okay, you know Think about it. Yeah is Bill Murray like that. He's talking to us into these things. He got something about him. Okay, you know Think about it. Yeah, it's Bill Murray like that. He pulled Kalice Yeah, I don't even know what Kalice looks like these days probably great probably see Kalice you know what they say No, tell me I Don't know what they say I was gonna say black don't crack. There it is. What? That's what they say.

Apparently this is a recent photograph of the two of them together. Looks good, she's agent alright? Yeah. Bill Murray though. Bill Murray looks like an old shoe. He looks like exactly what you expect to happen when you leave your hand in a bowl of water for a day. It's, honestly, that's a better description. To me, when I see him, he looks like an apple core.

Yes, 100%. You know what I mean? He looks like just like a shriveled, dry aged apricot. You know, you open a bag and it's like apricot. Yeah, that's what he looks like. He looks like dried fruit. Or like a just like a Like a balloon before you blow it up

Yeah, no worse a balloon when it like a water balloon No, I would say a balloon when it stays blown up for too long and it starts to lose air and go nowhere You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's on the ground and it's like on the ground. It's like you fucking pathetic fucking bitch Fucking bitch, you know, I have to ask this okay on the ground and it's like you fucking pathetic fucking bitch fucking bitch you know I have to ask this okay am I fucking Bill Murray not what I was gonna ask yeah yeah answer not at all what is there coitus like oh you think he's fucking oh of course he's fucking I mean I assume I mean Al Pacino's fucking that guy looks like he died 10 years ago who looked who is like on the Mount Rushmore of like old dead

Looking people dead looking actors. Um miss Franco. Oh, no, she was in an actor. Yeah, that was a kindergarten teacher in our school I mean Pacino's up there. Pacino for sure Gary, you see Giant teeth. Have you seen Gary Bucy lately? His teeth is going, like they're going to find his teeth in 50 million years. Bro, when they excavate his remains from wherever he ends up dying, his fucking, they're going to find his teeth are like this long. Yeah, they're going to be like, they're going to think it belongs to like some giant animal. Yeah.

They think they found like remains of a saber-toothed tiger. It's just Gary but he's rotting corpse. Yeah, but I don't know man. Do you think her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? Maybe not all of them. I mean, would you have expected Bill Murray to be one of those boys? What is her milkshake? I think it's gotta be a combination of her butt and her ability to raise. Can what do women do? Do they raise? Yeah.

Or do they have a female version of Riz? No, it's just Riz. Unisex. To her. I like that. Yeah. All inclusive. All inclusive term of Riz.

The Gayscan Riz. Transcommunity can Riz. Yeah. All inclusive. All inclusive term of race can raise the gays can raise trans community can raise sure Whom ever else. Yeah, there you go Elge but to QIA all Crossing all being able to raise raises doesn't know any boundaries, you know what I mean? Yeah We don't know what we're talking about do we this has gotten to a point where we're just Yeah, we don't know what we're talking about, do we? This has gotten to a point where we're just saying stuff. Right. Well, that's the whole show.

Yeah, but I also feel like what this guy sounds like at maniac. Also, the kid that made that video that I just showed you earlier is like, who's the worst, who's worst? People that make videos like that or the ones that do like the creepy TikToks where there's like, little did they know that hiding behind the tree was a bear.

And the bear was going to eat their mouth. The first place I thought. Do you know, I was scrolling through TikTok the other morning and then it looked like an AI of a baby. And the baby is telling a story like, hi, my name is Darla Crumpit and I died in a fire. Oh, I made it up. It's like, I died in a fire. Oh, fuck a awful name. Oh, I made it up. And it's like, I died in a fire years ago.

And I was tortured. And my family heard my screaming. So I couldn't ask, what the fuck is this? And then I went to the page. It's all videos like that. Children, AI, telling stories about how they die. At some point in history. I'm like, who's making this content?

We have become, you know, the snake eating its own tail. It's only a matter of time before we end up getting it and die. The snake eating its own tail. Look it up. Yeah. It has to do with connotations and imagery from Norse mythology of the midgar serpent, Jormingander. Oh my god, if you're starting to sing stuff like that, I'm just going to leave. Traditionally, one of the children, three children of Loki. And are you talking about superheroes right now? I'm actually talking about legitimate Norse mythology, Joey. It sounds like you're talking about comic books.

Well comic books are based off of mythology. Some people might even call comic books American mythology. You stupid bitch. Well, fuck and read a book for once. And not one about like, I wake up and I fucking found there was money And I took it and made it more money. That's not what I read That's what you read also you're telling me to read a book you're reading comic books those aren't books

Those are those are those are those are you are Bucs dumb bitch you read I can't wait for this in the fucking internet to just fucking You think because you read coloring adult coloring books I'm gonna perk up for this conversation cuz I'm ready to strike what do you have to kill you brain mantis fucking like it like the Python I read a book Joey this kid reads adult coloring books and then I'm first of all first of all bitch Figure out what you're making fun of me for either I read something pretentious like the Iliad or I'm reading comic books figure it out

You figure it out or I'm reading comic books, figure it out. You figure it out. I figured it out. I figured it out. I'm not sure. I have figured it out what I like. I like what I like. The alien.

Oh, Charlie, sorry. I'm not reading mad money, turning a dollar into two. Fuck you. Charlie, we read a book about Twitter. Twitter. Hatching Twitter. Hatching Twitter. How about this?

It happened. Twitter is what it is. How about you apply that to literally anything in the world. Any history. It happened. No, but there's so much cool stuff about it. Twitter is what it is. How about you apply that to literally anything in the world, any history? It happened. No, but there's so much cool stuff about it. Who's gonna care about it? No one thinks it's cool that Twitter is-

You wanna read about wizards and witchcraft? Yeah, maybe I do. Yeah, I know, I know you do. Well, I wanna read about like some interesting cool stuff. Magic. Laser beams. Shall we? You're really upsetting a big portion of this audience and they're gonna come with me.

New show called the Frank Mintyard. We're gonna make it happen. Fuck Joey. Oh for me. Don't you dare it. Don't you dare. You bitch. The Frank Mintyard. A lot of people consider comic books, graphic novels to be American forms of mythology. All right. And there And there's legitimate interesting history in ancient civilization mythology, Roman, Grecian, Norse, Indian, Egyptian, Native American, First Nation, whatever we have to call it now.

It's interesting stuff. It's been funny. The back of the day, we were taught to call Native Americans Indians. We knew it was wrong, but teachers are going, yeah, I know they're Indians. And we're like, okay. Yeah, and they were just like, all right, now,

dude, fucking homework assignment is to make a traditional Indian headgarp. It's like, it's kind of fucking... Let's all walk around the classroom like Indians. The ones that we raped in pillage. Yeah, exactly. Put on the hats. You know those war cries that they used

when we were going to slay their whole fucking community? Just do that. Do that in a classroom of children. Let's put on a play. Yeah. Let's put on a play. Who's gonna be the whites? Yeah.

The whites. Who's gonna be the Indians? Non-whites. that's what fucking happened. And they all had a dinner and a hug, then it was nice. You know what's funny is I actually, I'm watching the, I literally last night watch the episode of Soprano's where they're talking about Columbus Day.

It's like, he was your for Columbus, which a hero, which a shain. Yeah, it's like, but also other things. Yeah, the Italians need to let that one go. Italians need to let it go, because he was also do it work for like Spain Yeah, I know I'm saying bro you guys got pizza. You got pasta. Oh, you're good. You don't need Christopher Columbus I think and they also had a miracle of his poochie. Wasn't he one of theirs? What did he do? I know that name?

I think he was discovered North America or something like that before Because Columbus like originally went to like the West Indies didn't he? He was looking for the West Indies. I don't know. But fuck him. 1492. Columbus sailed the ocean blue. That was a good year. Was it?

Not for the Native Americans. It's happening. It's so funny looking back on how insensitive a lot of the stuff we learned was. And like did I love how it's like it's just wrong. It's just flat out incorrect. You're like, it's just about Thanksgiving. Everyone sit Indian style. Yeah, but I love how there's pictures and textbooks of like them having like a cool meal.

Yeah, it's like, oh look at this really cool pilgrim bringing a turkey and corn. Where's the beheadings? Yeah. Where's the fucking small pox blanking? Yeah, I want to know. Why don't we know for you about that? It's fucked up.

Yeah, it's fucking insane. Shout out to America, man. We did it, baby. We did it. So fucking good. We did it. More your people than my people. Easy. No, you were born two blocks did it. More your people than my people. Easy.

No, you were born two blocks from me. First of all, no bitch, I was born to Manhattan. You were born in Queens. What's up? Yeah, look where you're hospital. You were born to Manhattan? Why? Yeah, Colombian Presbyterian.

I don't know why. Colombian? Colombian Presbyterian. Oh nice. We get it, you're Colombian. I didn't even think of that. Where can they find you Frank? If Alvers 885 on on Twitter the Frank Alvers on all of the forms of social media And then make sure you go check out the patreon patreon.com size of basement yarn for more of us more of us sooner

Listen if you want the basement boys to come quick patreon.com slash the basement yard is where you want to do it because we get a week in advance Joey You were saying you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's funny. It means two things there. Ejaculate. You guys can follow me at Joe Stannigano, go follow the show at the base of my honor, ticked off on Instagram.

And that is all. See you guys next time.