The Basement Yard - #405 - Submarines Are My Nightmare

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Joe and Frank talk about some recent submarine issues! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Frank, how's it going? Chief? Sorry. I am so sorry. That sounds like a little bit of cultural appropriation from you, Joe. Oh, is that love starting the episode with that? No. Absolutely do. I wasn't trying to appropriate. We also, I think the last episode we ended it last weekly. Welcome back, my boy. We like, we're in awe that like how much like, just like straight up, just like cultural appropriation and just like insensitivity. We showed in elementary school

to like Native Americans and First Nation people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where I was just like, all right kids, give me your best Indian chant. And then there were fucking- One, not Indians. Yeah, that's one. And two, don't chant.

Don't do that stuff. Don't make the children chant. I love how like the new way of doing that is everyone now doing like the whole like oh my god like fucking You know Eagles are my spirit animal Never heard that I've heard spirit animal. Yeah, I think that was like of and I'm not gonna sit here and name a bunch of do you have one? I I don't I think the point of this conversation is I don't think I am at liberty to say

I don't I think the point of this conversation is I don't think I am at liberty to say Whenever someone it like asks me that they're like what's your spirit animal? I go I've never thought about that. Yeah, I'm a human being. I can't tell you how many fucking like so cool like pick me sorority girls I knew in college Eagle that no they would just be like sloth because I can just lay around all day and Fucking eat food and watch TV and it's like so cool You're gonna be alone forever also a sloth has never watched TV I will argue that they've never seen a screen. No, there's definitely TV I mean, maybe not in the wilderness show it's law the TV and they're just gonna fucking freak out I'm speaking of animals. I went to the zoo. Did I tell you that you did we talked about it on the patreon episode

Which you could find now. Did I tell you that? You did. We talked about it on the Patreon episode, which you could find now Patreon like opposite of that. I forgot about that. But you forgot about our Patreon. I forgot that I had this conversation with you. Gotcha. You know. But anyway, yeah, when we were in kindergarten, we were impersonating Native Americans. Oh, kindergarten up to like third, fourth, fifth, twelfth grade, probably. We're coming, we're starting to come around. Well, actually, yeah, I was done with my school career before there was like any sort of inclination. I was like, mm, probably shouldn't have said that.

Yeah, I think it was around the time we turned like 2021. That's when it became like, No, dude, way later than that. Think so. Not way, not way. I would say around like 21, 22 is when like the massive majority started saying like like there's some stuff The thing a look back at the

Because like you watch like movies from like 2009 2010 and there's still some wild stuff out there. Yeah, I was watching The hangover maybe like a year ago, and I was like this is a timeless comedy like this is still gonna hold up in 30 years And then like the second scene. It's like Bradley Cooper screaming a timeless comedy. Like this is still gonna hold up in 30 years. And then like the second scene, it's like Bradley Cooper screaming, paging doctor. I remember, yes. You know, there's a derogatory term for gay people in there. But how far we've come? And we've all laughed at the movie.

The theater, the woke mindset is taking over. Yeah. But I actually, I wanted to open up. I watched the Bronx tale by the way yesterday. A lot of N words in that. Also, not filming the Bronx. Filmed in Queens. A story, yeah.

And all the school scenes. In Frankie's high school. What's up, baby? William Columbine High School. In that, I don't know why you always do that. I always do what kind of forever. I think it's just a sense of unity. Cool. Which I shouldn't be doing back to that cultural appropriation

But I wanted to start off and ask you a question because I've started You know how I get I get existential crises all the time and crisis yeah, and the is that the plural of Crisis yeah, crisis is no, that's not right. No, it's crises Chrysler. No, Joe He having fun. I hope you are because you sound like a fucking idiot So as I was saying the I was talking I did a you're still laughing I did a podcast with our buddy Jimmy from John Boy Media. Yeah. And we both like connected over the freaking out that we experience over the passage of

time. Uh huh. And I, it's kind of crazy to me like I have such vivid memories of like our fucking teenage years childhood early adulthood. and like it's gone. Yeah, it's gone. It's gone. It's gone completely. Yeah.

And we also were lucky enough to live in a time where we didn't document every minute of that stuff, which kids nowadays might be a little scared when you have to answer for your that digital footprint maybe it's coming It's wrong. We have one too, but ours is like a fucking a locus compared to your T. Rex foot, okay? A locus first animal I thought of I gotta be honest Are they like big kind of not bigger than a T Rex? I'm aware of that. They're fucking big bugs bigger than a T-Rex. I'm aware of that.

They're fucking big bugs. But the question I had is, when did you first start liking girls, but not liking girls, it's like, oh, cute, like crush, it was like, oh, this is a girlfriend. I wanna date them and kiss. Yeah, I wanna hold their hand,

I wanna kiss their cheek, kiss their mouth. Kiss their cheek, but hold their hand. I want to kiss their cheek. Kiss their mouth. Kiss their cheek. But that's what it was. You know, it was big, cheek kisser back in the day. When did you start having that realization that, oh, I can be a boyfriend. You're asking me when did I choose to be straight because it's a choice?

Is that what you're asking me to? Boy, you're bringing that up. You know what? Well, this will be releasing. Oh, it is pride. We're gonna say well this episode be released I'm like after pride my thens. Yeah, go nuts. It's such a choice. No, I mean That was you know it's not a joke one time I had to explain that to a person. Oh, I Not a joke I recently I was like when you choose to be straight? I didn't. Boom.

Oh, shit. Literally, that's on the conversation. I recently had, and I went the other route. I went, so you believe that people are choosing to be oppressed and ridiculed there and possibly murdered. Nonetheless. Anyway, what a time.

What was I talking about? Oh, when did I choose, when did I start liking girls? Well, I remember in pre-K, I liked that girl Alexa, but I don't remember wanting to kiss her. I was probably terrified of that, but I was like, what, can you drop a name here, huh? Dude, it's a random name. That's like a common name.

And that girl, Jackie, too. That's right, those were the girls that would chase Joey. No, they did, Joey, Joey, don't try to rewrite history, bitch. No. Alexa was the one because she, she wrote me a note. And she was another one, the one. The one, the one, the one. One of the ones. But she wrote me a note and my mom found it years later.

Oh, but your mom was like a hippie. She was probably like so cool about it. Dude, I'm talking about she kept everything. And when I was like 23, she, I was like, we were like going through stuff and she found a note that Alexa wrote me and at the end it said, I love you. Boom!

Love your boy. What, was it written like stupid pre-K right? Where it's just like, I love you. What? How would anything be written like that? You know, just like big ass letters. It was. And it's like, you know.

And the eye? It was a, it wasn't a dot. It was a, it was a heart. It was just, so heart love you? Yeah. She didn't even say, I love you. Heart love you. Her heart.

Someone's heart. Are you an idiot? I'm talking about the eye. The dot and the eye. Oh, the title. Whatever. That's what it's called, bitch. I understand.

Okay. But like, that it's, it was like, I love you. Kind of nice. It was nice. It was kind of cool. But yeah, I don't remember wanting to like kiss her. Do you know how mortified I would be if my mom said I kept your childhood love letters?

Do you know how fucking stupid they were? Bro, I like a couple, I a couple of years ago found I like had gotten access to remember when like aim got access. Yeah, I'd hack the mainframe got access when AOL and aim like completely like wiped all their shit. First of all, thank God. Wait, that happened. Yeah. I in like 2015 had gotten access to like an old email of mine and it was like one of them that was a screen names And I was able to see I had saved Conversations a whole fucking aim conversation with

I'm not gonna all right Jamie And I but I was using her as a conduit to talk to somebody else Wait, what do you wait? What are you saying? I was using her like talking to her about someone else knowing Wait, what are you saying? I was using her, like talking to her about someone else, knowing that it would get back to that person. God, I got it, I got it. And did Jamie know that? Or you were just doing this whole mind control thing?

First of all, I'd stop painting. She didn't know, did she? She didn't know, did she? She didn't know, but she didn't know. Bundy-esque psychopath. But she didn't know, she wasn't in on it. She was a smart woman. Yeah.

She was a smart woman. I'm sure she knew. it was one of her friends and you were just like, yeah I think I kind of like her no, you knew that it would get back to him do that I remember the conversation was something along the lines of like me being like you know like It was like an argument that the girl and I had had and I was like painting hers like not being ready for a serious Relationship Wow, okay, so I'm like where I was like painting hers like not being ready for a serious relationship. Wow, okay. And like where I was in my life I was super ready. Right. So gaslighting ahead.

You're gaslighting via a conduit. No, no, no, no. Yeah. We all know, although you know exactly what gaslighting is, you're in current. Literally, you are in direct. I tried to make her think no no stop okay But I remember one of the lines that I had said verbatim. Oh my god. It was just like I And I think I've I've mentioned this

Was like I've been skydiving before and I've looked a rabbit raccoon in the face. I'm not afraid of a real relationship You've done neither of those things You just get so dramatic I know earlier he just said he's like remembers these things like this is what Frankie does all the time And that's why sometimes we retell certain stories because I don't I don't say don't Memory is like his fucking bank account too big to remember he fucking that would be the opposite because they don't- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick-

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Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- Don't put sick- I remember I have gone on like one of those like skycoaster things that they had at like six flags. Oh not skydiving and I have seen a raccoon So so at the time I was not lying per se but I was just wait Do you remember her what she said? It was I I it from what I remember she was fairly in a green With what I was saying she was like wow, itreeance with what I was saying. She was like, wow, this can mean business. This means business. It means fucking big fat business.

Who is the girl? I'm not gonna sit here and start dropping names, Joe. The one that has disappeared. Gotcha. You know now. Yeah, this girl, that Frankie dated long ago, in the wind. It might be. Yeah.

We might talk about where she might be later on this episode But I I like if my mom had found some of those notes and those letters I would be More I mean bro. That's different. You were a little older. I wasn't fucking pre-K We were saying bullshit to each other. Yeah, but you never know if she found like notes that I was writing to Jamie in like fifth grade then I'd be like you were fucking little prude you would just like I love you the way I love fucking Clyde Drexler you fucking loser that's what you would have wrote you be like I like Drexler how old do you think we are you I don't think but you always said that you pick number 22 because of

Clyde the Glide baby don't think I fucking forgot Joe Munn. All right, stupid bitch. Oh wait, we did this already, but I found, you remember when we brought shit in one day, we went through it. Mm-hmm. Found the thing again, because it was like, I was like, whatever it was on a bookcase. And it was like this like thing that said, there was like prompts. It's like, I wonder, I am,

I this and I wonder and I wrote when I will die. I remember that, super morbid. Yeah, I don't know. But my first time liking a girl passed a crush. I think mine was first grade. Yeah, I think mine was second grade. Yeah, and like, what was your first real girlfriend? Like, to the point where it looked?

Sixth grade. OK. Oh, that's right. I remember who it was. Yeah. Are you OK? You're still not broken up about that? I told you I saw her years later.

No. Well, I saw her my sophomore year of high school because a kid on my team was dating her best friend at the time or something. OK. And it was like the first game of the season. And this is when I tore my miniscus. So I wasn't playing. And then when I was walking back, they were like right next to me. So we like talked like me, her and her friend. And she was dating my friend. Was Andrew. Oh, I remember Andrew. Yeah, I don't know. What?

He was friends with Lawrence. Not him. Oh, another Andrew? No, yeah. I think I went to high school, that kid. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, no. But yeah, so I was, so whatever.

And then I ran into her, like, probably like six years after that, too. She was working at this place that I walked into. And I was like, hey, really? Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. And then like, did you ever have, because it's like always the joke where it's like the girlfriend

that never existed where it's like, oh, they go to another school. Like, oh, they are from Canada. No, I wish, because that would have been less embarrassing than when I had dated that girl in sixth grade because we dated for nine months and we never kissed. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of hugging going on. Big fat hugs. Finn hugs.

Finn hugs. Yeah, you were a little boy back then. Also, you know how we started dating? My friend Sean walked over and was like, you like her, she likes you, you guys are dating. It's like the officially like, officiated the whole thing out loud in class But that may have probably made you so uncomfortable big time. Yeah, but then I had a girlfriend But the job was done for you. It was yeah, look at that even back I wasn't gonna do it even back then you were paying for other people to do your bidding

That's fucking I complete and then do you remember my like first like girlfriend? What grade? It was. What year was it? It was nothing. No, it was the summer from 5 to 6th grade. And it was from my day camp.

Oh, I didn't. I never met anyone from your day camp. Did you mean all those stories could be fake as far as I are? They're not fake, Joe. That's what Spider-Man and Froggy, and well, Froggy's my dad. He's stupid, bitch. Second of all, I was Spider-Man.

I signed the inside of the rock climbing wall. Spider-Man, my last year there. But I guess that makes it official. Yeah. No, there was a girl who went to the camp as me and we met through golf It was the one year of my life I golfed and I was fucking good Did you sleep at this camp? No, no, no, no, it was it was just a day camp. Where is it? It was in Rosalind, New York. It's your mom will pick you up every day my mom

So the fucking good-hearted woman that she was, would every, she worked at the camp for free, so my brothers and I could go. Because it's like a back then it was super expensive. I can only imagine what it was now. And it was every day from fucking like 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Damn. And she would drive, you know, two-in-fro every single day.

And the girl legitimately, my mom was friends with her mom and dad. She would go to that summer in the summers. She'd go to that camp in the summers. And then for the rest of the year, would go back and live in Ireland. Oh, is this Randy? No, no, no, no. You dated a Randy from 10? I did. and then for the rest of the year would go back and live in Ireland. Oh, is this Randy? No, no, no, no. She, you dated a Randy from 10.

I did, but specify that that was a woman's name. Make sure we specify that. You dated a Randy from 10. I don't know, which when I told you about Randy, that was another joke because, yeah, obviously, right. You're gay. Yeah, that was the joke, yeah. So, oh, so you were a big fucking Austin Powers fan and I remember you saying like oh

Randy Does that make you run these make you Randy? No, but no one believes me about her and we would like fucking like right like cute What was this girl's name Nicole? I can I wouldn't be able to tell you. It was the most Irish fucking last name, like, Oh, tool. Oh, tool or how you're keeping, you know, something. You know how, you know how they felt like the word is spelled like with an F and it's like,

E-O-U-G-H-O-A-N. It's like like that. I get you. But, yeah, we, that was like my first girlfriend. I don't remember this at all, this girl. And that, you never met her, right? No, no shot. Oh, there was zero percent.

But you had seen her maybe because at the end of the summer, we took, we went to like the beach, like her family, my family, and some other people. And I had a disposable camera and I took a picture of her and I, and I put it, oh my God, I don't know if I've ever told, I think I've told this story before. I put it, oh my God, I don't know if I've ever told, I think I've told this story before. I put it, wait, I'm like a disposable camera. So you

when got a developed, developed, got it. And in sixth grade I had a binder, and I put it on the sixth page from the last page in my binder. And it was, why do you, why the sixth page? I just, that's just the way it worked. and I glued it to the page and like put like hearts or whatever and I would write p6 What is p6 What's p6 No, I know what a yeah, I know but what is p6?

It was page six where he would find her picture. He wrote P6 on every what do you mean? Where did you write it? Orcas, so I would like write it on my page and like people in my class would be like, what's P6? And I'd be like, don't fucking worry about it. There's such a, but yes, all, dude. Where else would you write this?

Like all over shit, all over. Or you would only write it when someone was looking so they would ask you about it Don't worry about it. So my original tag Um, oh my god, dude was fax to with a dollar sign smiley face and then I Know what b6 And people would say what's B6. And it was my equation. It was my long lost girlfriend in sixth grade that no one thought was real. Well also, it's not page 6.

It was page 6 from the back. I know, but that's not how pages work. But if you were to count from the back. Your wood is my point, dude. Your wood count from the back, you would it's my point to you wouldn't count from the back P6 we I can't if you're from Of course dude, I like I said vivid memory We would communicate through email with like my sister's email and she would send me emails like that school You're like, oh, you know, I can't do an Irish accent right now. You didn't have to

you're like, oh, you know, I can't do an Irish accent right now. You didn't have to. I should be like, I told for you, moaning. No, that's not true. Yeah, but she was a tough one of the mornings. She was like, she was Irish too. They all say that. Yeah, but they're not Leopardcons. We could be like, no, like I've Irish.

You're, you can say this stuff. I can't say it again. Leopardcons. Yes. She'd be like um you know no I get that's all she'll just say it's just be you just be you in this equation it's already fucking insane frankly she would say like oh there's a boy in my class that likes me and like I'm I you're my boyfriend what do I

tell him and I would be like tell him no you have to go through me. Yes, I go through you from Ireland Yes, it goes for me. I've been skydiving. I've looked records in the face Both sharey 500 miles away. That's unbelievable and then she would write like like one time She was like oh, I hope you're still gonna like me, I have to get train tracks, meaning braces. Remember the train tracks, right? I remember, for some reason I remember train tracks. Yes, and I was just like, no matter what, that is nothing to me, you is beautiful.

Pfft. Pfft. It's funny because I know it's exactly how you typed it. At that time. That is nothing. 100%. The funniest part of this is that it was coming from my sister's email. So she read all that.

Well, yeah, I don't care about that. But her email was just like fucking like a lovely J love, too lovely for lovely fuck, you know, or whatever. No, no mama. No mama for lovely for you. Yeah. Oh, man. My sister's screen name was Little Sexy.

Little spelled L-I-D.D. L.E My eyes was I think it was like J. Boo and then it was switched to like too lovely to lovely boo Yeah, I ever tell you my sister was almost in a girl like girl group Like Destiny's child. No. Yeah, I think their name was something like ecstasy, but it was just with a big ex ecstasy I might be butchering the name here. That's not it's not the name of the condom Ex-tasy, but it was just with a big ex girls in her class. They were in like a girl group. I don't remember if it was called ecstasy or like fucking like two temptation or something like that.

Harlan or some other drug. They were called cocaine. Yeah. But yeah, so I was just like, god damn. P6. Oh my god. It's almost 20 years. Why do I not remember P6 at all?

Because we went to different schools for six grade. Yeah, but dude, P6, I'm sure you had heard of it. I feel like I remember Randy. Was that before after? That was after, that was a whole other ordeal, Joey. I don't want to get into. Yeah, please don't. I don't want to parse that part of my life.

We've gotten through that through therapy, so we don't have to go back through. I'm crying to my wife about this enough time. But, business. You would do something like that. I also did something like that in sixth grade. I think I told you this. When that girl broke up with me, I had a picture of her and I'd lit that shit on fire.

Oh, I did that in like late. We've recently told the story. I did that in like college. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all right. Yeah, I like lit it and I threw it out my story. I did that in like college. Yeah, yeah, that's all right. Yeah, I like lit it and I threw it out my window and it landed right in my backyard and my mom found it and she was like, don't fucking burn shit. And I was so embarrassed. You know what I fucking hate in movies and TV shows when people light a match and then they fucking like throw it and it stays lit. You know how many times I tried that and it's never fucking worked? You know what I tried to do the other day? Light a match and then they fucking like throw it and it stays lit You know how many times I've tried that and it is never fucking worked

You know what I tried to do the other day light a match with my tooth What You know I thought you were gonna say the one where they like light it by snapping on it I've tried that like you talking about weeks ago. No, it's like you ever see like a tough guy's like oh, yeah And he lights a man I have seen that. But because those tough guys had no fucking good teeth, they had like wooden teeth and shit. Wood and teeth.

Because they'd get their teeth bashed in in the wild west. I didn't know if you could do that. So I was doing it, and I'm like, I probably shouldn't be eight. You were just fucking swallowing sulfur. I only did it like twice, and I was like, this is, I'm not good. Did you get any, I've always tried to light a match on a table or like

snap and light a match. Neither have worked for me. Yeah, nothing, nothing too crazy. But I've tried the like dramatic like put like a line of like gasoline to a fire and like like something and then fucking drop it. You've done that? I've tried. At the lake, 100% I've done that with gunpowder. Dude, my brothers and I my brothers Paddy Steven Bryan we would take fireworks at the lake house Probably shouldn't tell this because I have children And we would open them up and take the gunpowder out. Yeah, and like fucking make like Tom and Jerry traps and shit like that Yeah, yeah, and then light it. Yeah, like I was Wily Coyote. Yeah and then light it. Yeah, like I was Wily Coyote.

Yeah. It was a sad idea. Like I was Wily Coyote. Yeah, it was not not smart at all. How did I get my hands on gunpowder? It was like easy to get like recreational gunpowder. Oh. Oh.

Fireworks, it was easy when we were kids to get our hands on them. I still have a bundle of bottle rockets from when we were kids. Bro, one time, have a bundle of bottle rockets from all your kids. Bro, one time, me, Keith and Thomas have like three bottle rockets and we lit it and threw it in our own mailbox. And it exploded. I've never laughed that hard in my entire life. Dude, we're rolling.

What an idiot. Bro, I don't know why it was so sober. I don't know why it was so sober. I don't know why Yeah, you were like 13. I hope you were sober dude We were we just would light them and put them in on mailbox and run away and sit in the grass in our yard and watch them explode and Die laughing. Yeah, I wonder if they remember that you know what I was I loved Smoke bombs. Yeah, we went through a big face and that. And I remember there was one year it was like My dad had brought I think it was like 2008. It was like late

He brought us down not earlier maybe brought us down to Florida and we drove past that store south of the border Which is like the big firework store basically off 95 and one of those states and we bought like Look like fucking Jurassic Park players. That big, but they were smoke bombs. And I threw a balloon at 48th Street Park. Boy, it was that fucking dumb. The whole park was just engulfed in smoke. Yeah, dude, not absolutely nuts.

I remember you said take them and they would like start smoking, you get like a color. Like it was like red or black. And you would write it on the ground. I smoking you get like a color like it was like red or And you would write on the ground. I read it on walls like I was like it. That was you that was big graffiti Joe graffiti Joe Was this prime bubble letter Joe? I'm not gonna that was you you literally got in trouble in second grade for doing that I remember Miss Maciel you always had the fattest bubble letters that I've ever seen someone right there Only one of us has gotten in trouble in school for riding the homework down in bubble letters

and slowing up the entire class. She was so pissed at you. She was pissed, but is because- She's like, what do you think? We're all just gonna wait around until you're done with your little bubble? I was like, damn. Yeah, but you never got caught

because you were fucking, you were the Messiah of that school. The Mus- You were protecting him. You were protected, bitch. You think Pumbukus would let anything happen to you? You were his sweet boy. Your mom was the fucking, basically, the president of the school. She was Tony soprano Exactly. I remember that shit break

Your Pam bukas, yeah, and I left and then whose mom became the fucking chief didn't of that school you left I left who idiot We graduated We graduated. It's true. Uh, heard the graduation song the other day. Still gets me. Which one? As we go. We didn't sing that.

I know, but it makes me. The vitamin C song. Isn't that vitamin C? That's vitamin C, yeah. Yeah. What a stupid name for a band. We have, by the way, I believe it was, own person. Don't think it was a band.

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Well, you get these big episodes of week in advance. You hear us talk about things way before anybody else and by way I mean seven days and then that second tier. Oh man. That's where you get those weekly exclusive XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX over at patreon.com size the basement yard. Thank you for getting us to $22,000. We're creeping, we're crawling, we're moving on up. We're gonna be doing our brunch episode soon, which you don't wanna miss, because your boys, plus mimmies, plus bloodies, maybe, plus bellies, plus a little bit of food, grub, how you doing?

That's an unbeatable, unbeatable collaboration there. So patreon.com size basement yard, go check it out. Thank you to all of our patrons, we look forward to the new ones that are coming and want to embrace our love Look you just gave me how much you hate me during that segment. Oh my god. Oh, literally the whole time every single time Yeah, but was that Cheetah girls? Can't give it away for them Joey come on We stand to Ghana what song is that?

Because we it's Cheetah Girls Cheetah Sisters, Joe. Oh Cheetah Sisters. Cheetah Girls, it's like their titular song. What's the song that I know? What's the other one? Why do I know? I know a Cheetah Girl song. That's the one that I know.

I know there are other ones, cause they had two movies that were popular as fucking Disney Channel. Who are the Cheetah Girls? Raven Simone. I know that. And then three LW. Three little women.

Well, yes, that was their name, but it was like Adriana Bailão. Oh yeah. The other one, it was like, Kira, now I have to look this up. Oh, you don't. That's the thing though. Bailão.

Bro, you remember how big of an event those Disney Channel original movies were back in the day? Dude, you remember the one with the dude couldn't hit her free throw or whatever? No, you you always remember the sports one cuz you're a freak First of all, the it was Joey would watch it and he'd be like I can hit a free throw. No, yeah But it was called um block of the Irish. Oh when he turns into a leprechaun. Yes Yeah, I think it was like, good at basketball. They're all saying he wasn't good at basketball. Yeah. Bell. Look. Then he had, then there's a coin or something. Then there was the one.

Yeah. He found a coin. It turns him into a leprechaun with that little Irish freak. You know I'm talking about. No. This old Irish guy. He was a freak. Oh, I did. Wait. Do I? I don't know if he's a freak. I've forgive me if he is. But then there was the one where the sisters in the WNBA, the blonde tall fucking the sisters in the WNBA, the blonde tall fucking blonde girls in the WNBA, that one was fire. Eddie's million dollar cookoff. Shhh, Johnny tsunami.

Johnny tsunami, who's it? Oh, what? Zinon was actually one of the Easter eggs I put in the past week's episode. What, what was the, I remember this vividly and be like, that is such a good idea. But it's like some kid, and he had a house that was like basically Alexa.

I think it was called smart house. Oh, is that, yeah. I think it was, and he throws a party and it's like, I gotta clean up. And then everything just falls into the floor. And the house is clean. Yeah, the mom is coming home and it's just like, smart house, help me.

He's like, I think that you, or I have it with the smart house spoke. I don't remember. Bro, Halloween town. Yep. Try to throw it on for the kids last year Kind of scared him a little bit really There's some stuff in there. It's a little freaky. Did you see the newest one? I? Don't know oh wait no, what are you talking? What am I thinking of Sarah Jessica Parker? Oh, you're thinking of focus focus Bam I see the second one on

Fucking release day, bitch. Absolutely. You best fucking believe I watched that. Alright. Well, Bet Middler. I've said this with zero. Bet Middler. Zero hyperbole.

The first focus focus, Bet Middler as something Sanderson, I forget her first name. One of the Sanderson sisters. Yes. One of the best performances I've ever seen in a movie ever. What? Bro, um, go watch that movie. Yeah, bro. Go watch that movie coming from King movie King movie boy. Yeah, personal favorite. Like she is just She just fucking choose up the scenery. Damn. That first movie. I do you like bet middler? But do you like her? I kind of guys I do. you guys I'll put a picture her on the last page P6 Mean bit me she bit me. They're P6. I've been there better

Well that first hocus, but I want to get you a fucking birthday gift Not gonna tell you but the six people in the back of her would have taped something well anything to get me a gift I That first hocus focus is such a fucking strangle hold on my childhood Didn't online the first time I saw Sarah Jessica Parker in that movie. I was like you wanted it as a little boy I was just like she was doing stuff in the new one too. I was like hello Sarah just not nearly I know but still back then when she's like talking They're all talking about like fucking making fun of this kid Cuz you die in a virgin and shit like that. Yeah, yeah, I just want to like the girl the little the girl is just like wait

You're a virgin. It's like bro. They're fucking 13. Yeah chill out. Yeah, you're an old witch Yeah, slut and then Jerk Jessica Parker's right now. He's like boys Yeah, the bus driver is like I'll I'll be down with him hooking up with kids. There's some stuff in that movie go watch it I don't have and haven't seen it in so long bro. They get on the bus and the bus driver opens up He's like, uh, blah, blah. Who at least fuck you know horny hub a hub for the Sanish and sisters How about was the original cat call? Yes, Which, how? That is, if someone... How about hubbub?

I'd be offended. You'd be like, that's gum. I'd... That's hubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubb watch the movie. Watch it. And he's an old man. He's like, he's easily in his like late 40s, early 50s. But you know how people back then were like, they looked like they were fucking 80, but they were like 25. Yeah, that was everyone in all those movies. Yeah, so, Joey, there is a story that we have been fucking

doing some, you know, Kenny Ortega, high school musical, towing dancing around here. The fuck is that? That's, he directed the original, Hulk is focused, then he directed the high school musical movies. There is literally our nightmare living out in the real world right now.

Yeah. The submarine. The submarine. We're gonna try to not be too offensive. Let's start here. I cannot physically imagine. We're gonna try to not be too offensive. Let's start here. I cannot physically. We're sorry. Well yes. I fit this is legitimately my personal nightmare on so many levels. Yeah. They're stuck at the bottom of the ocean. It's scary as shit. As of recording, they ran out of oxygen. Yes. Might be big ol' fat ol' dead.

Yeah. And there's like a father on there with his son. No. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't looked into it. I don't want to see their faces. You know what?

You know what? Bro, it's legitimately heartbreaking and I feel for their families. We got a job to do here, Joe. I know. We have a job to do. Yeah. This is the most insane story that could have come out. First of all, when I saw everything was like, I was like, I didn't even know what was going on

really, and then all of a sudden, someone was like, submarine, and they went down, but now they can't find it. I'm like, it's a submarine. You know, I don't even think about the fact that like, you could run out of oxygen. Bro, they compared it to the size of a fucking minivan. When I saw the pictures of it, inside I was like that's not a submarine I don't get claustrophobia I did write then yes because a submarine I think of fucking the widow mayor. There's computers That didn't there's people aggressively hitting button. Yeah, there's George Clooney and they're not George Clooney They're Alex Trebek. No, he's the game- What's George Alex?

What's his name? George, I don't know who you're talking about. Red October. You mean George, no way. Alex Baldwin? Alex Baldwin. And then fucking- No, it's not Alex Baldwin.

Sean Connery. Sean Connery. Oh, George. George Clooney, I said. Sean Connery, there's some stuff there. If you remember some of those old books. Big stuff. But anyway, he was dead. But every time I think of submarine, I think Sean Connery this some stuff there if you remember some of those old big stuff But anyway, he was dead, but every time I think of submarine. I think Sean Connery and there's always that

Yeah, there's that there's that and you can like see a shark coming from yeah It's like a big red dot and they're like hold because it's a torpedo But this is like they're in a drunk of a van bro I saw those pictures and I would like, holy shit. Like my outside of the insane amount of details behind the story, they had a travel to like, it's like two miles below the ocean. I'm all set.

No, no, no. It's like 6,000 pounds of pressure. Like you stick your finger out the window. It's like, it's like 6,000 pounds of pressure like you stick your finger out the window It's like It's not gonna cool like that. It's gonna fucking burst because it's This is my personal fucking night. Why is water so strong? Is heavy? I know but why? Because it's water. I know but like you know the molecules are there is a scientific answer

I know there is but I'm saying I dive into a pool. Yes At the top why can't the water just be like that? It'd be so much nice. No, but the farther down you go you have The weight of the water weighing you down. I know a huge bitch. It isn't it sort of displaced like it's It's a vast like the ocean is vast. No, that's's heavy dude I know but like you know how heavy the water is I know but I'm saying if I put a fucking bowling ball on your head right yes it's like a 20 pound bowling ball I put on your head yes you know you can feel that of course but if I make it a long thing that 20 pounds it feels different because it's a displaced yes now put 400 billion water fucking you know It's huge that's what I'm saying. That's why it's all that On top of you. It's fair. That's fair when you're saying makes sense

But it should be like jello water should be like jello. I think there's pressure in jello Joey I think if you were to go to the bottom of a vat of jello It would be I feel it of course because there's all that jello on top of you. I doubt that I don't I don't I feel like if I was in a vat of jello I'd eat your way out. No, I would suffocate of course as you would in water Yeah, but Not if I had a big snorkel Yes, if you were in like those cartoons where they grab that like fucking that read and all the swamps and that you've never seen those cartoons

Where it's like in us they're in a swamp and they grab a read. What is a read? It's like a long like grassy like hollowed out stick Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they breathe through that the whole time then you're good But if you don't got a read or a snorkel, I know it's kind of crazy dead, dude, but anyway this fucking submarine. It's like It's terrifying. I mean they're running at can you imagine that sitting there in a small pod, you're running out of oxygen. You're running out of oxygen, it's pitch black. Yeah, it's dripping water because of condensation. Yeah, it smells like you have to shit in there.

Shit, piss and throw up. Oh my God, Keith sent this to me this morning. And the impending doom, the air is thick because you're breathing in all of your own fucking carbon dioxide or whatever you give off. Yeah, it's terrifying. And Keith sent me this tweet. It said, even if you're conservatively calculating

one poop per day per person, that's 20 poops since Sunday. Now, an average human poop weighs around a fourth pound I'm not gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge.

I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I'm gonna put it in the fridge. I forgot the number 10 pounds of human shit And that's not including throw up if they're even throwing up because they're not eating Yeah, I piss tons of piss probably And then Bro it is a fucking absolute It's like it's like a fucking guy

They told him First of all, we know you want to see the Titanic? Well close your eyes watch the movie. That's what I'm saying. James Cameron did it. James Cameron did it. So we didn't have to. We saw it.

That's the cross that James Cameron bared for us, the warming folks. Also, he went down there, you know. He like, bro, they said that he'd spent more time at the wreckage than like the people building the fucking ship. He spent like thousands of hours. That's insane. Guess what? I just saw a thing who said it. Who was that actor? Whatever. Someone said that Bill

Paxton was down there with him and they like came up and he's like everyone on board was like freaking out because it was 9-11 Isn't that crazy like imagine you're down like as a titan wow that's crazy insane human tragedy nothing can top that Hey guys You might you might want to be on land for this one. Yeah, that's it Dude and then the guy is a billionaire. They didn't, so I don't know if you heard this. They said that they had fucking like done like diagnostics on the ship, which was controlled by a fucking like cheap video game controller. Yeah, like a game queue.

Like a like a mad cat's fucking PlayStation 2 controller that you'd give to your piece of shit brother. I don't even. I don't even know that. You know what I'm saying? When you play a two player game and you'd be like, yeah, take that fat giant controller that the buttons are the size of a brother. I don't even, I don't even know that. You know what I'm saying? When you play a two player game and you'd be like, yeah, take that fat giant controller, the buttons are the size of a P. Yeah, that.

And they checked his ship. And they were like, by the way, which is named Titan, ironic. They checked and they were like, yo, they're saying, they're saying good. Don't go. And he was just like, I'm a billionaire. What's gonna happen to me?

They also, I think, like the update right now is that they found, like I think they're out, they're calculating that they're out of oxygen. And they found some like debris near the wreckage. So, I mean, we hope they're alive. But if they died, I hope that the thing just fucking exploded. Oh yeah, that was quick. That was quick. I hope it was quick. I mean that the thing just fucking exploded. Oh, yeah, that was fucking torture

I hope it was quick I mean the reality is like they'd been down there for days and the impending doom is like I literally was making my hair Like the hairs on my arm stand up when I was thinking about it but Titanic still still still taking you know the rich out hundred something years later Are you okay? Because I know you and this billionaire guy were boys. You guys went to the same bath house or whatever.

You billionaire, I was really sure. Shut the fuck up. I will never get into a sub. Yeah, they ain't gonna happen to me. Because guess who ain't never going? Yeah, I'm never getting on a boat that where I can't see land. So that ain't happening.

Oh, you're not going on a cruise? Are you fucking crazy? I guess this is a great, this is a full circle. I would never in my life think about going on a cruise. Damn, this is gonna hurt the fucking, the sea, the sea exploration business. I can't believe people, dude, like there's, apparently people get sick on cruises all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like things just rip through people there. Yeah, and then if you die, you gotta be like in the boat. If you like die on the boat, they just put you in like a freezer in the bottom of the boat. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. Who told us that recently? Someone did and I don't know.

It was like a, there's like a, like a morgan of boat or something. Yeah, I honestly don't remember absolutely Insane story. I can't I can't so then on top of all this the billionaire His fucking stepson or stepson Was like all right. Well, I'm gonna go to a blink 182. All the small things is playing in my neighborhood. Of course, like what is gonna help you forget about your stepdad literally any minute

his death being announced to the world is hearing fucking fat lip. That's some 41, Frank. Oh, it's, ha ha ha ha. All right, lip. Name and numbers, you know, tomato tomato. It's all 41, blink 182, it's different. Good charlotte. You know, all of them are the same to me.

I wouldn't be able to tell you the difference. Well, okay, fair. But yeah, he went off spring. You remember them? I do remember the offspring. But yeah, and then alien in form. Stop thinking of things. I also think that he, uh, he was like trying to slide into DMS of all the fans models. But honestly though,

you billionaires have the same mentality. Stop putting me in this like go-getter mentality of being like I'm gonna use this opportunity to work on my stuff. I'm gonna monetize this. I've seen so many obviously insensitive tweets and TikToks just being like, you know how this billionaire

can get out of this if they just pull themselves up by their bootstraps. And oh man. I was like, oh God. That's fucked up. And then I saw the one doing the, I think you should leave the driving crooner. It's like when someone pulls up next to the submarine.

They're trying to make it look fake. Yeah. He goes, he's like sliding into the DM and now he's beefing with fucking Bronx's own Cardi B. He's beefing with Cardi B. Yeah, because she was just like, why are you out?

Like stay home and be fucking wait until you get the call. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. How would you like? How do you feel about it? You think it's weird that he went to a concert? A little bit, if I'm not right. It's not, it's the thing. I'm not judging him for it, but like I am.

I feel like I am. I wouldn't, people deal with grief and loss and stress differently, you know, very differently. Sure. If he wants to get it off his mind, go ahead, but you're just going to remember the whole thing. Like, you're not going to forget, well, you're not going to be at a blink when 82

country and be like, I have forgotten everything going on in my life outside of this song right here. Yeah, I don't know about that. I don't know about that. It's not Creed. That'd be different. No, actually, Creed would be worse, you know. Yeah, I don't know about that. I don't know about that. It's not creed. That'd be different. No, actually creed would be worse.

Hold me now. All right. Can you take me higher? Can you take me higher? They're probably singing that. Take my stepdad higher. They're taking the stickin' that in the fucking sub right now. Maybe fucking 5,000 or 10,000 feet, ain't so far down.

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bunch of different stuff. So yeah, go check them out. Again, that is hellofresh.com slash basement 50. Use the code basement 50 for 50% off, plus free shipping. I can't get over. Yeah, this fucking submarine story. I'm sorry, I can't. Let's peel it all back real quick.

Why the fuck would anyone want to go down there? I'm not getting out of summary. I'm not getting, bro, put a gun on my head and say, you need to go see the Titanic. You know what I'll do? Take the gun from you, pull the trigger myself. Yeah. I'm not fucking going down.

What if it was like a fucking, this is a week after the government was just like, oh yeah, no, aliens are there. They're not evil. Don't worry about it. You're good. What if we're going down there down there like Cloverfield style waking up some shit? I believe that that there's something down there Yeah, well of course there is like there's parts of the ocean we can't get to or we haven't explored it Whatever like you don't think there's a big like Fucking weird megalodon Godzilla type of shit. I don't know about this shit, but of course there There's like hollow earth theories where like it could get from fucking like you know Tim buck two to like

Myanmar and like a minute because it travels through the hollow earth Oh my god, you've never heard about this shit. Wait, oh, there's a hole in the center There's like we're on like the crust or the mantle like the outer layer Yeah, yeah, and then underneath, at the depths of the ocean, there's like portals that bring you into the hollow earth, which is like another self-sustaining, like, fucking biome of life and shit. Dude, what the fuck, you're blowing my horse!

Bro, what am I saying? I'm definitely not doing that. Blowing my horse, I've been blowing my doors off. It was what I wanted to say. I thought you were just blowing your back out, which can't do that yet. I would, yet. I would, like, why go down there?

Because you're gonna see something that you don't wanna see. It's so dark, dude. I think there was, you know what they should do? Crack a few glow sticks. And like light it up a little bit. Maybe they're doing that. But then what if, I'm probably, it's gonna be like someone, oh man,

I'm not, I'm gonna butcher who it was, but someone had lived under sea in like one of those like deep sea exploration. Ariel. She's a princess. Yes, Joey. You think Mermaids are real? I hope not. Why?

You heard the like, like theorized stories of Mermaids are real. I hope not. Why? You heard the like like theorized stories of Mermaids no sirens and the siren songs and shit like that. No It's theorized that mermaids have this thing called the siren gaze or songs or something like that the gaze not the gaze Siren gaze. There's gay mermaids. Of course there's gay mermaids. There's gay everything. That's true. And they can sing. They have this song that they sing. Did you watch Black Panther Wakanda forever?

Yeah. Remember how... Oh yeah, they're like, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, and it fucking hypnotizes people to like walk off the water into the depths where they're fucking eating and shit. So what you're saying is that a mermaid is gonna sing some fire shit. And I'll jump off and you'll be like, and you fucking fall to your doom where they take you and they eat me and they eat you and they're you're fucking done That's kind of dope though. Honestly, I would like to be eaten by a bunch of mermaids. It's kind of hot

No underwater they drown you first drownings. That's not cool. Well, I have goggles on I think a watch Joey goggles aren't gonna stop you from being drowned. I know I can watch. Oh Watch yourself being drowned at least. That's not fun. Well at least for a second. I'll know that Mermaids exist That'd be cool. Yeah, who are you gonna tell fucking or grandma? I feel like God wouldn't even believe that but you always eat my Mermaids is like no, he'd be like Fucking yeah, I know I watched I was there. That's like, what? No, he'd be like, um, fucking, yeah, I know, I watched. I was there. That's true. I am always with you.

He'd be there. Yeah, he'd be there, is that what it is? Nope, nope. It's not one of the 10 commandments. Commendments? What is it? Commandments. Oh, sorry, excuse me.

I commend you on dying by mermaid. Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah. I, uh, bro, this is, like, I can't, this is a legitimate horror movie. Yeah, I Pro this is like I can't this is a legitimate horror movie Yeah, it is this is and like the fucking guy is like knocking Oh, dust up and they're like knocking SOS and then they're gonna fucking they're gonna wake something up Imagine no imagine this They're doing those knocks it wakes up some fucking water giant thing and he goes what the fuck is

this thing and he picks it up and he stands up at a Pacific or whatever where are they tosses it like that fucking thing that pool toy you used to have here in your house rose it into like Russia or something oh well you could have thrown it anywhere Joey why Why Russia? I figured that's so far from the water. Thinking of the next travel destination you want to go to. I don't know. Have you ever been driving on a highway? And then you just say to yourself, like, what if? All the time. What if you just see something just on the horizon,

just stand up, just like, fuck it. No. Yeah, like stretches. And then just starts taking out traffic. You know what I mean? Or I've thought about like driving, I see mountains, I go, what if a wave just crashed over these things? Dude, dude.

And just wiped away all these cars. Oh my god. What would I do? Die. Yeah. I want to see a bit, but I want to see two big things fight. Like, like, uh, go, did you ever watch Corolla? Corolla. Corolla. King Kong. Cilla. Cilla. Things fight like go like go. Did you ever watch gorilla gorilla?

King Kong got Zilla and King Kong Did you watch the most recent one but they fight I want to see a fight like that. Did you watch the most recent? No They they they explore Hollywood stuff Oh, I do I did see that yeah, and it's like he's like a paradise Is it there's fucking monsters ready to eat your fucking cock? I mean, there's there's like a paradise. Is it? There's fucking monsters ready to eat your fucking cock. I mean, there's like, sun. Yeah, I don't know how that works. I don't know.

There's a sun in the hollow, or how? It could be from our core. A whole core sun. What the fuck? I have to do you there. What the fuck? As you say, a hollow. Almost time we got, because I know where we are.

We're good, bro. Yeah, we're fine. I can't stop talking about hollas. It that would be cool though I would like to go through a port no, I wouldn't know I wouldn't like to go through No, no, no, I would I would like is if you went through a portal and you could still talk it back It's okay, and then I would come oh like I'm just like yo There's fucking I'm on the ground come come out! Yeah, that'll be okay. And then you jump through? No, dude. I would be like, yo, can you get back? Because I need to be able to get out if I get too scared.

Well, then you come back, you talk about it, the government puts fucking three in the back of your head, or you just don't an insane asylum. That's true. But it'd be cool. Bro, there was a TikTok recently, of some guy in the middle of the ocean, on like a fishing vessel or something and he's like yo shut up listen

and he said he hears the I'm sure it's fake but like you hear the mermaid like the sirens singing and they're like come come be with us join us jump which like they can't speak English let's say it like maybe maybe Wow how You think they're fucking down there just like Maybe that's that though with those are are the people that they made walk the plank and They just turned into fish watch this No way Fucking know it isn't sorry for having fun. You're having fun. I'm being imaginative

You're not being imaginative You've done bitch. You're being a fucking idiot. How can they be half people explain that you bitch? How are there a fucking half fish half you know walking on you know frogs and shit like that like how is there that? There is it. Yes, there is tadpole bitch tadpoles I was playing tadpole. I swear to God as I was saying that I was thinking of tadpole You were thinking of tadpole looks like they kind of have feet. You didn't think hard enough No, they start off with a fucking You know, like, hell yeah, not but no, I mean like yeah They swim and then they get feet and they're just like in like a day. They're like, yo, we could go

I was swimming now walking watch where I am in another week jumping. Yeah So okay, so it's like a what about Minotaur's Can't be we would have seen them we've discovered all of their foot Bro, you think big fits real it's like it's not big foot. It is the big foot is like a species. It's a sassquatch I don't think it's real dude People when I say people I mean my father We found everything on land a people and when I say people I mean my father believes you don't realize How little credit you've given me Stubborn a lot. No, no, I talked to the guy no PL also that like is like he like does is for living. Yeah, yeah

Just saying okay, but They said they they they use porils Watch this No, yeah, no, they don't well you believe in a hollow earth. I don't you can play pretend I don't believe in a hollow earth. I am the least like conspiracy theory like I will believe who's conspiracy I'm talking about a fucking big ass Monkey man that's whatever they are what I'm saying like their hollow earth is like a conspiracy that like the governments have found ways to get to it and they use it to like fucking like you know be lizard people and like eat you know children at pizza places and DC and should like that

I'm telling you How could you eat kids at a pizza place this pizza right there? How could you eat the children this fucking pepperoni right here? You put a fresh fucking cheese pie in front of me forget about anything I don't care the blood of the youth. I'm going right for that. I am too, dude. Because guess what?

A regano, grated cheese, bread, pepper, flakes. Yeah. I don't need it. Maybe some extra parmesan cheese. I just said that. You stupid of you. Listen for once.

I'm fucking. Relax. No. You're going crazy now. I'm a little... I'm getting pizza right after this. You have to. You absolutely have to. And I know what else you're going crazy now. I'm a little I'm getting pizza right after this you have to Yeah, absolutely have to and I know I know what else you're gonna do. You're gonna look up Hollywood stuff

I have to I would yeah, you know what they say that about an article. It's like the end of the earth the fucking oh your flat earth Or now no, no, but flatter we talked about earth or no I know and that's what they said that's when they lost me We also said that the sky is like an L.D. screen or something I was like cool. Bird John real all that. That one I actually believe. Yeah, go ahead. No, I mean, dude I can definitely get my hands on a bird and like prove that they're real. How easy is that? Rip open a bird. Don't get a bird Joey. It's not hard to kill a bird. You can rip a bird's head off And not that I've done it. Well, it sounds like no Mike Tyson told a story about he had pigeons and some dude grab and he's like, yo, he snapped his fucking neck off.

I was like, how are you? How old is that? He was like 16 that did too. I am a companion, a friend of animals except for birds. What about birds of prey? Cool. Yeah. Not for me though. They're birds of prey that'll fuck you up. Anything with wings will probably beat me up. No, I'm too like to think down. There's no bird alive right now that would win in a fight versus me. Not a single one, Joey. Ostrich. Pretty sure I can kill an ostrich.

Grab the head, you have, you've gained control. Grab the head? Joey, yeah, grab the fucking neck. The neck is basically like a pole to grab it. Frankie, you know how much space they have to choke? If you grab an ostrich by a first of all, you're not gonna get near it. Because you will be, say with me, kicked in the chest.

Yes, do they have the force and ability to kick me in the chest? I'll go horse. Sure, do they have the force and ability to kick me in the chest? Of course. Sure. Do they have the ability? They have so much prime real estate for just good old-fashioned choking. You think you can kill a giraffe, too? I do.

I'm having a talk to you. We've talked about this before. I know it's a big animal. I know it, and I know it would probably... I just saw a giraffe. I know it would probably hurt me. But look at all I know it would probably saw a giraffe. I know it would probably hurt me But look at all that fucking real estate they have for it's just classic American choking For a classic American choking you can't get your hands around at your raff's neck. Are you stupid? Oh?

I could do that. They won't even flex like fucking Lex Luger, baby. Oh, that'll do it. You're huge whole Kogan arms Have you seen giraffes fight? Like fucking Lex Luger, baby. Oh, that'll do it. You're huge whole Kogan arms. Have you seen Giraffe's fight? No. They whip their fucking necks at each other. Okay. So if you grab hold of this thing. Oh, I need his one sword,

and that thing is going fucking nighttime. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Have you ever seen Hercules when that fucking the big ass fucking face? You're not Hercules. I know, but the Hydra falls at him, and he just fucking... Frankie, you're not hercules no but the hydra falls at him and he just fucking Frankie

You're not gonna get us. What is this all I need is one sword Bro me maybe if you had a lightsaber me and a sword versus a giraffe It's a problem for that giraffe Just want to reiterate. I'm a friend of animals. Yeah, no It's a problem for the draft because he's gonna have to clean up all that fucking blood I'm a friend of animals Joey if you more. No, it's a problem for the draft because he's gonna have to clean up all that fucking blood. I'm a friend of animals, Joey. If you grab a giraffe's neck and it whips, you will end up in China. It will just throw you all the way there.

You've really been wanting to go to China lately. What's that all about? I know, listen, I understand that they're big and powerful, but they have a fucking flaw. Your boy God fucked up by making their neck so long because they made all that, that's just that's a target. Any animal sees that. They're like, oh, that's that's the weak spot. You know when you're playing video games and the fucking big monster turns around and has a big red ass and it's like, oh, just shoot that. That's the weak spot. That's what these fucking giraffes have big giant red asses in the form of their necks. Frankie, have you ever seriously? Yeah.

Because the animal kingdom is ruthless. They kill it just they kill it vast, vast and ruthless. Okay, well they kill each other and whatever blah blah. Have you ever heard of a giraffe ever being choked? No, because there are no animals that have the intellect that humans do to do it. Got it. Put a fuckin' gorilla versus a giraffe. Guarantee that gorilla's gonna be like oh look at that weak spot right there It doesn't take a fucking genius to see it has you know 13 and a half feet of just prime choking location

I don't know we're arguing about and the and the gorilla could choke with its feet and his hands. That's double choke That's double choke come on. Yes exactly what it's gonna do. Oh, that's a double choke. Ahahahah! That's double choke! Come on, yes, exactly what it's gonna do! Oh, that's funny. I'm a big gorilla guy. I know, and I'm shocked. Like if all the animals fought at the same time, I think that, eh. We've already discussed this.

The top three would be like, lion. Tiger, bear. Lion or tiger interchangeably, bear, and different animals. I say tiger. They're big fuckers. So are lions, you fucking. I think tigers are bigger. I don't know, that's a good question.

And also saber tooth tigers. Extinct. Yeah, but we can clone them. Can we? Help? Nope. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here. Well, what do you do? Yeah, but anyway, I think we could Where can they find you Francis here on level ground? Yes, above sea level. Yes. How high above sea level upper debate

But if Alvar's 885 on Twitter the Frank Alvar's in all the forms of social media and they go check out Patreon dot com slash the base of New York folks. That brunch episode coming soon. Yes, and you guys will follow me at Joe Sannagotto go follow the show at the base of New York. And that is all. See you guys next time. Yeah. Cool. Sorry.