The Basement Yard - #407 - Bringing Condoms To A Funeral

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

Joe and Frank talk about the fact people try to pick people up at a funeral! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Hey bud Frank. How's it going? You couldn't you couldn't pick one you couldn't pick one so you went all over the place. Yeah, I don't yeah, I got a haircut Yeah, I did hair cutting shave. I still like left it long. Yeah, don't do that anymore Like get it get it cut the whole shaggy thing You moved to Brooklyn and now you want to look like an ironic like person that takes care of themselves I take care of myself a tour degree. I'm what do you mean you Brooklyn people man? You you swear by this whole like you know like it's ironic style like I'm gonna wear designer that looks like it got Fucking run over my cat. Maybe thrice in your whole life

Yes, but I know the people that live here. I do I eat you you who I eat I eat I though he said I eat I don't eat I do eat I eat. I thought he said I eat. I don't eat. I do eat. Are you good tell? I do eat. I know the people that live here. It's all these ironic hipsters that like, you know, they wear like that's why fashion companies

now they're releasing like fucking clothes that look like they were dragged by horse for 12 miles and they're like, oh, this is a fucking $30,000 shirt. I don't know about that. They are though. Tell me I'm wrong. Yes, you're wrong. No, I'm not. Okay. There was a, recently, the company that you're

going to start working with, Balenciaga, they recently released something. Okay, I'm not working with the company one. Two, I'm proud of you. I said it right. I'm saying the name right. Balenciaga. I used to say Balenciaga.

No, that's how you say it, Yadia. Balenciaga. No, that's how you say it, Yadid. Balenciaga. Yeah, that's how you used to say it. I tried to work on it for you. Balenciaga. Because it's the small things that show you that I listen to you, you know? Here we go.

But they do that. They released like a pair of pants. Someone released like a pair of pants that were just like destroyed. And it was like fucking like 3,800 bucks. Yeah. Doesn't don't get it, white pants. White pants.

White pants parties. Do you remember those white pants parties? Oh, dude, what a weird segway. I do remember that, but that was about like blowjob or something, right? Yeah, we knew people that grew up and lived on Long Island and they said that they went to something called white pants parties.

Being the inquisitive young men that we were, you say, what's a white pants party? What is that? Is it the type of party where Joey doesn't let any people to color in? And he said, no, that's something completely different. And he said, okay, what is a white pants party? They said, allegedly, I've never been to one, you've never been to one as far as I know. I know. But you guys, white shut weird, you know, Brooklyn rich people.

Here we go. We never know. Apparently, it would be a co-ed party. Yeah. Boys and girls. And people would get sucked over there, whatever. And the girls had to wear white pants, and the boys didn't. And the idea was like they had to like hook up with someone and whoever got the most dirty pants one

I don't know what they would win Probably nothing. I don't think like that for me lose lose ruin a pair of pants ruin a pair of pants I'm saying if I'm the one wearing the white pants and doing the sucking because I don't want to suck Yeah, and I don't want to wipe pants at all ruined. You were right. Exactly. Yeah. So suck. So whatever. Also, the reason why I was like, Oh, because did you see, you know, Michael Rubin, he's like a billionaire and he has like a fucking a party every year for his birthday. Oh, I did. I did. I saw it was like the whole white party or something like that. The whole white party and it's like, it's crazy, the amount of like celebrities.

I saw it. It's funny because I saw like the first one was like, I think it was, who's the owner of the Patriots again? His name is Robert Kraft. I saw Robert Kraft and then he was like saying what's up to like J.Z. and Beyonce and I was like, oh that's kind of cool. And then I saw next James Corden. I was like fucking slam. Don't want to go there. We got to sneak into this party dude. I don't think we're rich enough dude. Well I'm saying like even if,

alright forget about being rich. I don't think they would want us there. No of course not. What are they gonna talk to us about? Tell us about your fucking podcast. No, they wouldn't know. We could just lie. I we crash it like wedding crash. No, you can't lie to billionaires because they'll pay to fact check you like on the spot. After we leave, no, they got they'll be like, you know what? Stay here. You stay here. I'll give you $20 million then they'll go fact check it. We would have to wait until it's like later in the night. So like, the dude who makes a guess list is like too fucked up to realize that we're not we weren't invited. I don't think like places like that they're on probably like a private island. No, they're on they're in the Hamptons.

Oh really? I'm pretty sure I've... When I stayed with Danny in the Hamptons, I'm pretty sure the house that he has was across the street from the one that I was at. You know what's crazy is in my old job, I had worked like a case of someone in the Hamptons who was getting sued because they had like a crazy fucking, it was just like a party, like normal birthday party, but they shoveled like two and a half million dollars into it.

Yeah, so I might have dealt with something like that. I remember I saw pictures of the estate and I was like, this is gluttony. This is not good. It's crazy. It's kind of not nice. Yeah, because I feel like the way that that house looked from like the video that I saw, it looked like the house that was across the street. It was actually funny too, because they have like a separate sort of entrance or whatever from the street. And that was the video of Danny singing no power in the Hampton. I remember that video. Dreaming it to like people who are walking into this place.

So now I'm imagining if it was this dude's house. Damn, and Jay-Z, it was just like, kind of locked. Sample that. Who's that fat idiot over there? He's got some flow. And I just hear you're fucking annoying cackle in a basketball jersey in the background. Legitimately, what happened? Yeah, I was all of the white cloth at that time.

Yeah, you were wearing. It was a big popular white cloth moment. Also, Hamilton Soundtrack for some reason. Well, Hamilton Soundtrack is timeless. You know, I'm just saying, it's like white cloth. You think Lynn Manuel is going to those fucking parties? No shot. Who? Honestly. Yeah. who would you rather be locked in an elevator with for an hour? James Corden or Lynn Manuel Miranda and how annoying would both of them be?

Yeah, I probably choose James Corden. No way. You got to go Lynn baby Yeah, but I feel like he tried to like make up a song about how we're stuck and I'm like dude literally yeah or James cordon is just gonna sit there and fucking Either physically assault beat you with a lead pipe. That would be not horrible. Apparently. He's not a nice person Dude be be able to lead pipe before stuck in an elevator. I like it stuck in this elevator. Did you bro? I almost blew out both my knees. Oh, I thought I was gonna say who else was in this elevator I almost blew out both my knees. Oh, I thought I was gonna say who else was in this elevator? No.

I almost blew out someone's back. I almost blew something up. Back out in the elevator, but I was in the elevator and I was taking it down. And when we hit like the fifth floor, like I'm just not expect, my knees were like locked and the thing just stopped. And I felt like my fucking body went through my legs

or whatever. Like you got squashed. Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? And then I was scared. And I was pressing literally all of the pieces. Were you by yourself? Yeah.

Oh, I think you're by yourself. It's not that bad. It's worse when you're with other people. Because then you need to talk about it with them. You know what I mean? Because then you used to be like, I've no, this, yeah. This elevator, it does it, man.

That's the worst part about having a dog. Is this small talk with your dog? No with like other people with dogs, because what's his name? How old a boy or girl? Wow, he's big. Wow. Oh my god. He's so cute boy. He's so cute. Yeah, you know, and then you need to give them the 4-1-1 on Charlie there is a woman who is like outside my building who is like, here? Or like where you live? Where I live, okay.

And like, she's like, I just said nice bubbly woman, but like, I'm not too much trying to do this right now, because like usually it's like eight in the morning, or even earlier, and I'm walking the dog and she's like, oh, who's this dog? I don't know. eight in the morning or even earlier and I'm walking the dog and she's like oh Who's this dog? He's a yeah I that drives me nuts when people do that thing with animals like they're meeting like a fucking prince like

Who is this dapper young man? It's like it's a fucking dog. Yeah They should walk somewhere like Come here. Am'm like, come here. Who you got you on your way to work? And it's like, no, he's going to fucking take a fat wet shit. I'm gonna have to pick it up. Yeah. You know exactly where he's going. Yeah. You know, Carol. Jesus. Is that her name? God knows. I haven't asked her. What does she look like though? White. Karen. Carol. Tauna. I'm not gonna have an answer for you. You know that. I just said I don't know what she look like Joey This is a copy of white woman Just like a like a Michelle One of those Michelle the mill Michelle first name you thought up was Michelle feels like a brown hair white person's name

Yeah, despite the fact that probably most popular Michelle is Michelle Obama right now, Joey. Jesus Christ, she's where your head is at. Oh, I just say right now. This very minute right here. Who's the other popular one? Is Michelle Geller? That's Sarah Michelle Geller. Well, the Michelle branch. Michelle branch.

Michelle branch. Michelle, what does Michelle branch say? Sing, let's say. Oh no, that's Vanessa Carlton. Oh, no, Vanessa Branch is a... No. Wait, what's her name? Vanessa Carlton. It's who you're saying. Michelle Branch.

Michelle Branch does, cause you're really weird to me. And when I close my eyes, it's you I see. And everything I know that makes me believe Madroom. She's good. She has another one there, but I don't really remember what it's called, but that's a banger. Oh, this could album. Is it?

Shut up, shut up. What's the name of the album? Like, probably like, Destiny or something. Yeah, I was gonna say. It's probably one of those like fucking obscure, like, it's not the intro album where it's just their name. It's just like autumn and you're like okay. Yeah, release this in March. Yeah, like what do you do? What are we what are we saying with this album? Damn, Michelle Branch. Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton may be the same person though. When you really like if you- Why women that's- Women that sing. Yeah, yeah, I agree. It's just like

yeah, you know what I'm saying. Of course. Also the same. Reba Mack and Tyre, Melissa Etheridge. Same people. I don't even know who that is. Melissa Etheridge? No. Come to Maui now. I'll be home soon. That's a fucking bank.

I also think Melissa Etheridge. Would you, would you, would you, uh, do stuff to Reba? No. Interprime? That's a fucking bank. I also think Melissa ethyl would you would you do stuff to reba? No, you're prime That no reba dude really I don't I'm not I'm not a I got something about her really Reva I just remember that stupid fucking sitcom that was on where she was talking on the side of my shirt Come on, we get again home for school. Yeah Come on, we're gonna get home for school. Yeah, yeah. What's your name? It's such a good impression.

It was like one of the like super cheesy fucking like sitcoms where it would be like, I thought I made meatballs today. Guess it's meatloaf, you know. And like everyone was coming over with like pasta, you know, stupid shit like that. But I just feel like, you know, I sound about Rebo then I was like,

oh God, I think she just, you know, like I don't know what it about it hurt is but like anytime She's the type of person that always reminds you like who they are like I'm reba. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like it's me Reba I'm I am reba. Yeah, I feel like she says that like to her husband every night. Good morning. I'm reba Yeah, you know, I know I married you does 100% yeah that that sitcom I remember like you know how it would be like you know The song and then song is fire Well that was gonna say is like it would end with her and like her family like scrambling like doing that like sitcom thing Where they're like scrambling for a picture and she's like

Like the fucking and it's supposed to be like it's in that too and it's supposed to be like an upbeat thing But it's just like I beat cancer And it's like you know like good, but like it didn't match up with what I'm going for What a show Shout to Reba, man shout out. I'm gonna look up Reba. What's she doing? I mean she's just you know She's probably just like sitting on a million being Reba Reba Mac and tear can you name one Reba song? I'm a survivor. I guess Reba Mack and Tara. Can you name one Reba song? I'm a survivor. I guess

Can you name two? I'm looking at the fucking titles and I don't know them. Give me one. Does he love you? Does he love you the way? I don't know. I just made that up honestly. I was fully aware of Frank. I know Dude, come on Reba's got something going on. She is 68 years old. Years young bitch. Sorry, disrespect the red head country queen. She may be the hottest she's ever been. Let me see, let's see, look at these photos. See what's up on Reba. Come on, I got it. Why can I? I also always think of that SNL digital short

where Keenan Thompson with Reba. She aged like a fucking what he on the middle I Don't know she looks like puke did out. She looks like the hamburger. She Yeah, she does she looks like a like a duster. Yeah, that first picture ain't bad either though this picture strange Though how is picture is horrible looks like a haunted woman's picture. How old? That middle one though, her eyes are a little too close. No, no, no. This one, she's a fucking hot rock at old woman. She's, I'm well, she's made her money

and she's probably taking care of herself to how she ever she wants. Why are you talking in this fucking tone, this cadence? Well, she's probably, you're going to, you're going to. Well, Joey, I think it's appropriate to say that fucking people age differently now because they can use their millions of dollars

to prevent certain aging techniques. Still hot. Married twice. None of them have worked out. Well, she married you. You know why, right? She's re-bud, Joe. I'm re-bud.

She re-bud. She let you know. She sold more than 75 million records. What? Haven't heard one. Honestly, it's gotta be she has to have one of those like, just absolute country Christmas albums where it's just like half it is just like you know like country Christmas is about you know like this shit like that you know.

We're like half the album is like you know cutting an a tree and having a bourbon and then the other part is just like, sweet baby Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. What, what are we laughing at? Well, her two of her, both of her husband's names are fire. Oh, and they super-southern?

Charlie Battles. That's fucking sick. Reba Battles? Reba, well, she, she, she, she, her name. If she took the name. Yeah. And then, Narval Blackstock Dude lives in a castle and Narval that sounds like it's like an ancient fucking animal from Narna

Narval Blackstock. Oh, that's a Marvel Blackstock. Who's oh wait? She was what the fuck? That's why she's not gonna marry again. There are no more cool names like that Why does it Kelly Clarkson? Narval Blackstocks, lawsuit to end in the fall? What the fuck is going on? Who the fuck, wait a second. Kelly Clarkson's, Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson's former father-in-law sued her into, he was sort of, oh, she married a Blackstock?

Kelly? Is that was, slow the fuck down. For those of you guys that don't know, if you're a little late Joe and I have an intense love for Kelly Clarkson and anyone that tries to come for our fucking queen whose new album chemistry is out now Is gonna get fucking it was his sir sir son his son His name is Brandon Blackstock. That's a good name, but Kelly Clarkson also carries a bit of a punch to it Yeah, Kelly Kelly Kelly Clark. I like her a lot

But that's crazy so there's some conflict of interest here some overlap with we've maggot Well fuck the mr. Paul blackstock. What's the name normal black stock? Narval Narval Narval black stock sick name shitty fucking guy apparently battles though We happen to Charlie battles? I don't know well clearly he lost that one but anyway The battle of marriage Well, he also lost the battle so he died oh well he's from the South so he's do saloon battles That's a civil war joke.

It's a big time civil war joke. What were you just saying before you were like the South of Rise again or something? I didn't say that. I was quoting what you had written on the board in your office. Can you show everyone your conservative flag? What's the call?

You tell me. Confederate flag tattoo. I don't have one. I know that Greg was asking me to get one with him as you know, kind of like a brotherhood, brother and arms thing. The reason why I was laughing before is because like, you know how you type in someone's name, then there's like questions. The first one is, why did Reba's husband leave her? It just says, it just says, Reba said that it happened because someone was not happy about the relationship. Da. Fucking Da. There's your answer.

Yes. Enjoy. I can almost guarantee most most if not all marriages have ended that way I want to know you know there was a study study recently you said this fucking joke 10 times shut up Joey Go ahead just play whatever you want Joey. We're not in the middle of doing work here Frankie I'm about to play a ribbon mag and tire song. Oh, okay. All right cool. Throw it up. I'm assuming this is like a face This isn't patreon. We might get dinged dinged banged. I know but give me give me give me the the I just want to hear it for a second I'm gonna like Don't know that song I don't know I wouldn't be able to tell you what it was because you played fucking point two seconds I'm trying to save like but it get up that it's it's like oh how am I supposed to know what that is listen

You wouldn't be getting a trivia around all right shut the fuck up. You know I'm great at trivia one of the rounds of the trivia that I do is like well I haven't done it in a while actually I haven't got the trivia so fucking long but anyway I wish that virtual trivia we could do I would be there and I would win They do. Oh, where? I don't know. Oh, and Mr. they do, but you fucking don't know where?

I thought you met like a virtual trip like a sports quiz. No, I wanna be there. I wanna be like at the bar with you guys. Oh, oh, well, that you can do and just use your body to be there. You're right, you're right, okay. But do and just use your body to do it. You're right, you're right, okay. But one of the rounds is they play like the first like three seconds of a song and you have to like give this song the title and artist. That's tough.

For three seconds. I love that round. That is really good. There's a guy on TikTok who plays like one second of a song and it's like, what is it? And it's like, you know, some of those I'm good with, some of them. That's how you get retention on your videos, folks. I'm gonna throw up. Anyway, we have to, we have to, uh,

pay the bills, keep the lights on. No, no, no. We have to sneak into that party. Even though we're not famous. I think, listen, we, you're, you're Mr. Big Fucking Big Time. Oh, my God. You're Mr. Big Time, we're not in a fucking full ball of cheesy there.

Blub, blah, blah, you could fucking do a parent-combrady. Rumors him and Kim K. Dude, that would be nuts. What? I don't know, he seems like a bit of a dingus. I know he's a fucking legend on the field. Or in between the hashes. Joe, we're supposed to continue the fucking podcast

after you just said dingus? Like a fucking stuff, right? The guy fucking opted to play one more year. Not talking about anything. You said the word dingus. Yeah. What? What is, why are you using that word?

We started talking about Reba McIntyre. I figured I would throw in a Southern insult in there. And you know, dingus is a Southern insult. At dingus? You fucking dingus. Anything's a Southern insult if you say it with a Southern accent. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

you know that's a Southern one. Okay. Tom Brady's a dingus. I, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no his wife and family to play one more year for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Yeah. Things happen in a marriage. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know, but like it looks like although he wanted to throw the ball, he really also dropped the ball.

That's Frank Alvarez. That's it. That's what you get when you come here. That's his time. That's thanks for coming on the show. It is a little, well you kicking me out. That was a bit. Oh. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah me out? That was a bit. Oh.

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Joe, you see that wall? There's a little streaks on the wall there, see little stains, get out of the shot. Get out of the shot. See those streaks, see those stains? No, it's not because Joey and Greg filmed a sex tape in here. It's because there's an exclusive episode available now on patreon.com slash the base of your art for you folks for all of our friends out there. We told you guys if we got the 22,000 patrons, we were going to do a brunch episode. And one fucking boy did we and two, it's almost two hours long. It was pretty nuts. So we did three bottles.

Yeah, we wanted to thank you guys it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted it. We wanted raunchy, naughty, crazy, insane. All right. And you can go and watch all the previous episodes if you're new to the party. We want y'all. We want y'all to come and hang out. We know what we're doing for 23 and 24 and 25. So we ask if you can continue to support because there's a little bit of everything on Patreon.

All right. You can get a super powered mind, a mechanical K9. All right. Hey, the episodes might even help you save the world from pure destruction. All right. a little bit of everything on Patreon, all right? You can get a super powered mind, a mechanical K9, all right? Hey, the episodes might even help you save the world from pure destruction, all right? So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard. Sometimes you say things, I don't know what you say, but how much of the time would you say you're annoyed of me?

On the show? Yeah. 25%. It's way more than that. Huh. You shocked my dad? Yeah, that's, I would think. Come on baby. 25% it's way more than that huh you're shocked by that yeah that's I would think I'm on baby I Would think most of the time you you enjoy me and you you're not annoyed by me Oh, I don't know that I'm actually annoyed by you. I just asked what percentages and you said more than 25%

I'm starting to get annoyed you're yelling at me Anyway moving on we have something to talk about so I'm starting to get annoyed you're yelling at me. Anyway, moving on, we have something to talk about. So, shh. Oh my God. Something I wanted to talk to you about, because you've been to a funeral, right? People have died, for sure.

Your grandma being one, your dog, cat, things died. Hey, hey, yeah, both grandmas. God, we didn't have a funeral for my cat. We just stood around her and cried. Did you put it in like a box and like put it in your yard? My mom cremated it. They allowed that? Don't ask me where the ashes are.

Do they cremate bodies in the same ovens with the cats? No, because I think that you don't cremate them at the exact same place. I think the vet has like a little like pizza oven in the back. Got it. Where like they can throw in, you know, like a prosciutto or a rugola, or they can throw in a fucking, you know, 15 yearutto or rugola Yeah, or they can throw in a fucking you know 15 year old cat prosciutto. Rugal is a good fucking thing Incredible with some like balsamic glaze on it. Yeah, a dead cat very different though

Not not in that same oven. No, I've never eaten one as far as I know. I've never eaten a dead cat either or in a live God I've never eaten either. Yeah, that's that's true. I've never eaten either. I've never eaten cat I need to say all right. let's make that very clear, but pussy Anyway, I wanted to talk about this very interesting fact since we were talking about funerals Since we're talking about our since we brought it up. Okay Nearly one in eight men 35 and under admitted bringing protection to a funeral just in case. Like what? Like a gun in case the fucking body comes back to life like a zombie? I love the like just in case at a funeral. I like you know, what if

Everyone prepares themselves, but like there's no just in case it's to show off. What if the mourning family wants to fuck? That's insane. So like Wait, I When I hear protection, I think like a gun or a knife. Oh, these are condoms. I hope. Wait, just in case they're gonna fuck the bodies. This is condoms.

I'm assuming one of the alive people, but. Oh. They're not fucking the dead bodies. I don't know, I mean, just in case. I don't know, really good. Just in case the other day could did a good job with the makeup. God, yes. I have a friend that's an Undertaker.

I don't think that's like socially acceptable to say anymore. An Undertaker? I don't think they like that. There are more, more Tish and, I don't think they like that name anymore. I almost said Morgist, and then I was thinking Organist. Or Morganist. Organist is the word with the organ.

Yes, just like pianist is a piano piano. Yeah, and violinist Violet so yeah, but I guess I guess mortgages are organists because they do play with organs You ever notice that when you're out of a wake or a funeral and it's an open casket You never see their likes. You think they're wearing pants? You think the bodies are wearing pants? Uh, yes. Yes, they are.

I don't know. I saw some thing. Apparently they have to put special contacts in their eyes that are spiky, because if not, their eyes are just fucking open up. Oh, they got to like, paint them down. Yeah. I don't like them. It's kind of crazy.

I don't like dead people's faces. Like those faces. You know when they're like, you know what I'm saying? I do know what you mean. I don't like dead people's faces. Like those faces. You know when they're like, you know what I'm saying? I do know what you mean. I don't like that. Fix it, fix the make them look better. Or just like put them in a football helmet. If you ever been, all right, here we go.

Have you ever, shit, shit, shit, yes. Yeah. You ever been through a wake where like, I've been to a wake where the conversation wasn't just, it was like about like, oh, this is sad or like, oh, good for them, but the topic of conversation. Good for them. Yeah, like, it lived a long life.

Oh, oh, oh. The topic of conversation was how bad they looked. Like, the board tition didn't do a good job. Oh. Yeah. The only time I've ever been to a wake where I was like, what the fuck was our friend in fifth grade? Yeah, well he was a 10 year old boy. I hope he didn't look great in the fucking coffin idiot

I'm saying I when I walked up I was like I don't even know this is yeah There's something weird about it. It looks like him at all when when your soul if that's real leaves your body It like you don't look the same. You know what I mean like you look different I don't think it has anything to do with the soul as much as does with being fucking dead Yeah, don't be think it could be freshly dead. They could be days dead and they they would your organs stop working things do stuff Yeah, but you don't decompose that rap is about decompote wasn't decompose you moron a fucking you think maggots were eating them You know they put a fridge This is weird

But I'm saying he looked very different He did look different I remember because when my uncle passed away. I remember when I saw him I was like he looks he was also sick for a while Mm-hmm, but he just didn't look like himself. You know what I mean? And I was just like oh shit my grandma's funeral. I was like this bitch is alive Like it. Yeah, look like her really. Yeah, I was just like yeah grandma I mean I you got everyone full but not I think that's more because your grandmother looked like she was dying for years leading up to her fucking very nice

That's what it is good mind bro mind, dude. Don't worry about it. Oh, I know dude. Well Well, I don't even remember your grandma dying to be honest really. Yeah, I don't remember. Oh, yeah It was you probably didn't talk about it. No, I definitely told you about it I definitely told you were definitely there. Yeah, and yeah, she oh my grand oh my grandparents went like 10 years ago actually wow a decade. Yeah, it's been a decade without all of my grandparents. Right. And you know, I'm all right. Former grandchild right here baby, what's up?

Yeah. That's one of my favorite lines. Former grandchild. That's such a funny concept. But hold on, people are trying to fucking funerals and wakes. One in eight men bring condoms to a funeral just in case someone's trying to fuck it. Funerals and wakes. One in eight men bring condoms to a funeral, just in case someone's trying to get down. Apparently.

One in eight, that's like, I've never done that out of a funeral. I'm never like, yo damn, fucking, it's good. That's not true. Uh, yeah, no it's not true. Yeah, that's not true. That's not true. I know, we're both in the same boat there.

Yeah, right, I didn't bring a condom. I didn't bring a condom. I mean, technically, it was like those days when like guys always carried one in their wallet But like I didn't like fucking pack one like Yeah, oh wake today and me and Frank you're referring to that my grandmother's funeral one of our older Like teachers from our past where we try to spit some game and we you know We were just trying to see if it was ever some interest or whatever, you know I'm all grown up now. Joey look at Joey look at Joey put your muscle up muscle. Give me bicep No, give me that give me that. That's a grown up bitch right there, baby. Also, this was like

Ten years ago it was ten years ago. Yeah, 2012 11 Nope Yes, my grandma died in 2012? Yep. 11 years ago. Oh. I thought you were trying to say 2011. No.

It was 11 years ago. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where'd I say? You said, you forgot, you forgot, you forgot, you forgot. Come on, come on. I just said, wakes and funerals are the least horny place like I can imagine. Like, you would think weddings make a little bit more sense. Oh yeah.

Because like, there are people they're ready to party. No one's ready. Drunk as hell. Well dancing. There are people, bro, at my uncle's in the air. All right, slow down. There are people, there were people at my uncle's wake drunk. On the last day, I remember because I was fucking angry

at one point, because they poured liquor on him. But apparently it's like a thing. What? I not say that. You're uncles. Yeah. angry at one point because they poured liquor on him but apparently it's like a I not say your uncles. Yeah, what up to a dead body and poured liquor on them. Yes. Is that like a? It was not my uncle. It was my cousin. I remember so it was my uncle's uncle dead gone It was his wake and it was the last it was like you know how they do the last viewing before they close it And then it goes to the the few you know, the, wherever it's going. The landfill. Yes.

Don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah. And I remember everyone was saying the last goodbyes and I was kneeling down on the, the pew, is that what it is? I guess. I don't know. It's like the kneel thing.

The, the, the place like the kneel thing. The place where the knee's though. Yeah. And I was saying my last goodbye. I was very upset. My dad was standing next to me and he had his hand on me. And a cousin of mine came over as clear as day. I remember this. He had a fucking little nip, like a personal of a whiskey.

Something brown, I don't know what it was and he takes a sit he's crying and He says something in Spanish and pours it on my uncle on his face on his chest and I fucking I looked at him and I went to stand up I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's okay That's a thing a parent fucking lay it down. Don't don't make this a race thing bitch What the fuck else would it be? It might be a Colombian thing honestly. Obviously, yeah. Just sprinkle a little coke on them and just get out of there.

What are we talking about? But I was like, what the fuck is going on? And I was pissed and then my dad was like, yeah, I keep a tap, tap, tap. But when you were too young, like, because I didn't learn about like, embalming or anything like that until like later in my life Yeah, and then the wakes that you go to have you for like walked up and been kneeling there and just been like You know I've been out of wake and I've been right near the body. I'm just like

Get up get up bitch. Get the fuck up. No, I mean like I was gonna make it happen. I'm sure I have But it's it's I don't know it have, but it's, I don't know. It's a weird, I don't know how we got to death. Oh, actually, I know exactly how we got there. One and eight men are bringing condoms to the store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a room with a dead body, kind of crazy.

Well, they're not trying to fuck at the wake, Joey. It's like, but they're in their mind they've already had sex. I just think like, I don't, like, that's a weird place to be horny. Like, I'm not thinking like, this's a weird place to be horny. Like, I'm not thinking like, this is a place that I'm gonna get, I'm gonna find someone who's gonna fucking connect with me. Maybe people are like looking for a distraction. Like, I don't wanna think about like,

I don't wanna think about this so fucking blow my brains out for a minute or so. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, do people dress sexily? I mean, it's just just it's normally just all black But it could be like skin tight or short dresses. I or you know, we're speaking obviously. No, leave it

You're anything we're speaking here straight men. You know what I've never seen and I've seen in all the movies Where they wear that like fucking fish net over their face. Oh, yeah, I've never seen that shit. I've never seen that In what is that shit wait actually have I seen that no, I've never seen it. Like, put that, that's for weddings. Avail, that's what it is. You know what, I don't like, I feel like it's kind of paired with that. When some of those women, they would have like a veil, but then they would also have like a little hat.

That's also on their face. Bro, and I'm like, what do you look like? A little baby hats have to go. Baby hats. I knew fucking like, goth kids in like, high school that would do that like baby hats You know what I mean they'd wear those like like the pink and black striped socks that they got from hot topic Yeah, they'd wear a shirt that just says like, you know, raw means I love you

And then they'd wear a fucking baby hat pinned to their head and let me tell you right now I wanted to smack that fucking hat right off their head. Yeah, I would like to grip it and rip it Damn dude. What that's like I like that hat right off their head. Yeah, I would like to grip it and rip it. Damn, dude! What? That's like, I like that. Oh, grip it, rip it. Yeah. And then they can stick it.

Don't add to it. Alright, sorry. But anyway, yes. So guys are trying to fuck at a funeral. Can I ask you a question? Yes, yes. Of all the funerals you've been to. What was, which one was?

Which one do you think you had the best chance of getting laid? And it could be not just your family like it can be my families or friends or whomever I don't remember going to A funeral for you because that was probably a long time ago like I barely remember my grandmother's I mean my grandmother's was ten years ago, so I haven't um I'm hoping that the well not, not that I'm hoping, I know that the answer is not my family. It was mostly family members there. Well, no, the closest I guess you came was your grandmother's. The closest I came, oh well yeah,

because it was the only shot you really took. Well, yeah, it was the only shot I took. But I don't know if there was other stuff going around in that room at the time. You know how like we've always said like maybe one day we'll crash a wedding. We get to a certain amount of patrons or whatever. Okay, crash a few.

Let's crash a funeral. That's heavy. Why? It is kind of funny though. Who's gonna kick someone out? Yeah, no. Were you invited? No, I just read the fucking mask card.

And it'll, you know, cause it always said, Hold on. What the fuck are you talking about for a second? I was just realizing what you're saying. You want to go to a- It was in your movie, bitch. Wedding Crashers. I'm aware, but like, think about this.

You go to a funeral that you don't know anyone. And you go and kneel down to a random body and say, God bless, I'm gonna find- Well, it needs to be at a not funny funeral, like a really old person, or like a super racist or someone. Wait, you said not funny? Yeah, what do you mean not funny?

What's funny? Which one is funny? Like, it needs to, like, when it's like, you know, people that died tragically. That's funny? No, that's not funny. Oh, you wanna go to those? No, listen to what I'm saying.. That's funny. No, that's not funny. Oh, you want to go to those? I know listen to what I'm saying you said not funny when it's the ones where it's too serious

Why did you say not funny? Indicating that there's funny you want to go you don't want to go I'm sorry Maybe I misspoke you don't want to go to the not funny ones Obviously, what I mean by funny is just like No one's upset. you know what I mean? Like they're old world like let's let's put it in terms of something that might speak to both of us like Tony soprano's mom People weren't really upset. She was kind of a cramudge and you know they weren't like oh who's gonna get upset at me Tony

soprano Joey that would be very violent Guess what not only is he a fictional character. Mm-hmm. Also dead yet. I'm just saying, if you're gonna crash a funeral or wake, it needs to be like to someone that was like universally hated or racist.

So if you're saying that it would be cooler to go back in time and crash like a dictator's wedding. Funeral, ma. I don't think they get funerals. It would be cool to go back in time and crash like a dictator's wedding funeral ma I don't think they get funerals. I don't think like anyone's like celebrating Dictators when they go That's an interesting question I didn't ask a question That's an interesting thought like Saddam Hussein and like I don't think he had like that's what I'm saying

Does he yeah besides you? I don't think anyone was celebrating Hitler Yeah, but he also like he yeah, he can well Allegedly you know ill. Hey, well, I just thought about like Never mind. That's fucked up. Say it. Well, we can go to the system, Patreon. This isn't Patreon. Well, I was just gonna say that like, no. Okay.

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I think we should talk about the potential battle royale between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk. Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg apparently are gonna fight, want them to fight in the Coliseum in Rome. If you fight in the Coliseum, someone should die. Bloodshed, yeah. That's what we need. You should, whoever's winning has to look up and then like, I don't know It could be and there needs to be good like like some legitimate like filmmaking put into it and there should be a tiger At least one tiger needs to be a mace a mace you know what I'm talking about I can't exactly. What's the thing with the

With the on the whip and not the whip the ball Mace. Oh, that's the mace. Fucking, you're so stupid. What's a bludgeon? First of all, I think that's just a, from Harry Potter. A bludger? No, he's a, what? Bludgeon is an act, like you bludgeon someone. Yeah, maybe.

Also, what are you talking about? I'm talking mace. Oh, you know, Harry Potter, you're like, you're a keeper. You're a keeper. That's right, Tara, that's the bludger. Yeah, is it, is it cool? I think so.

Yeah. Thank you for just changing your accent, I'm sorry. Yeah, I know what's going on. But I also need a shot of whoever wins, like the dust or dirt or sand next to them, and then their blood hit in that. Yeah. Because there needs to be blood.

I'm picturing the movie Gladiator, great film, Russell Crowe. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm- Guys been through a lot. Um, what? Yeah, didn't you like beat someone with a phone? Oh, I was talking about his character in the movie. Oh, okay, I thought he beat someone with a phone,

that's kind of, I think in real life. He's an Australian, which they're notably insane. Are they? Yeah, do you look at all the animals here that want to kill them? And they're all descendants of criminals. Who? Australians? Yeah, dude, you didn't know?

Oh yeah, that was an Australian. Australia was used as the prison for England or some shit like that. Nice. They just be like, you're locked up, you're going to this island. That's fucking dope. That's beautiful. The Gore-edible beaches. And sick animals. No, animals there are fucking nuts. Yeah, but I would hug the shit out of the kangaroo. Yeah, and it would fucking rear back and kick a whole

through the nose. I know, but I'm saying like if I like was able to like like talk to it or something. That's a bird. That's not going to talk to anything. Yeah, but that kind of noise any animal likes. And then if it like likes me and like, pllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll That's where the babies are born dude you think it's a pouch like it's a pocket and what are the babies called Joey's I belong in the pouch, so you want to be a you want to be a little Joey? I want to get in a kangaroo's pouch you know what you need is it slimy in there? Yes, dude. It's like they're fucking vagina in there It's like it's not just a pouch. It's not like a pocket. There's a hole in there dude into like their fucking organs and shit Look it up you got the computer. Wait, so how do they have? There's a hole in there dude, into like their fucking organs and shit.

Look it up, you got the computer. Wait, so how do they have sex? They have back stuff. Oh, they do like, they have like back and under stuff. The kangi. The kangi style. The, yeah. But the alt like their pouch is like, it's like wet ill. That's why the gut, the, the-

I still get in it though. Really? When you have a kid? Yeah. And if you, if you have a boy, are you going Joey, Jr.? Probably, I don't know. Well, if you did. Yeah.

I'm setting very specific parameters by it. Specific ones. If you have a kid and you name it Joseph, you need to be a kangaroo one year, and you need to put the Joey in your fucking front puts. I can just do that anyway With any kid with any name No, because the joke is that I'm just saying I get it. Yeah, the joke is that it's a baby Joey whose name is Joey right That's the that's the humor. I know and clearly not because you're like I can do

What are we talking about? Elon Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg who wins that fight? Elon's big and tall like Frankenstein is he I think isn't he? Let's look it up. Yeah, like tell the tape. Yeah, let's see what's going on here Mark Zuckerberg is a little bitch But he did he does train now damn I see a little bitch dude. He's like a skinny little bitch. I'll fucking beat the shit out of it. All right Elon Musk height and weight This is a very Oh my god the zuck is five seven. Oh my god. That's how is Elon?

He's Elon's 51 How tall is Elon? Elon's 51. That doesn't answer your question, but... It doesn't. All right. He's 5'11. 5'11. And they put it in kilograms.

How many? 73. There's no way he's 73 kilograms. That's what it says here. Take it with a fucking pound of salt though because the shit is probably a very 73 kilograms is 160 pounds zero percent Way zero bro look at this guy. He's like who's something. He's got to be at least two 10. Yeah, I would say also Mark Zuckerberg's like 160

160 and he's 5.5 no no wonder why he's 5.7. Still sucks. Yeah, he's, you know what, Mark Zuckerberg's taller than you, that's fucking crazy, I didn't know that. I am not 5.6 nor 5.7. You're right, you're 5.5. Nope.

5.5 with a size H shoe. You do have a size H shoe. I don't have a size H shoe. I, first of all, this is the end of times. We don't need to see them fight. I'd like to see them fight in the Coliseum and one of them should go. I agree.

The only reason I want to see them fight is if they do a gentleman's agreement that they have to kill the other person. Think about this. Think about the potential. If someone dies in the Coliseum and that blood gets into that soil, maybe that's like an actual

sacrifice and something cool will happen. Or something not fucking cool. Or something not cool. Like a big monster. Yeah, like what if like the Hydra comes back or some shit like that? Who's that? The Hydra, the Dragon, you cut off one head, two more shall take its place. Oh, the three-headed dragon? Well, it has, that's King Adora from Godzilla. Oh, a hydra can have three heads, but But has a regretable head. Once you cut off one head two more come. So how could you cut off a giant head like that? Well, it fought Hercules Joey. You be Hercules. That's how you cut it off. Nice. Good for him. You don't have one of those anymore though. I'll do you one better. Don't think we ever did. Me neither. I think that maybe he just like worked out a lot.

Like he was like the rock and the rock. Or none of them existed because they're all mythological characters. Hercules. Yeah. No. Yeah. Hercules. The Kraken. The Kraken was probably just a giant squid.

Which those are real. I know. Those are real in there. Yeah, they are. There's a bunch of other ones, you know, like the Titans. Who's the dude that flew with the sun? Got too close to the sun? Icarus, story of Icarus, wore a plastic or a metal or some sort of wings.

They flew too close to the sun. They melted it when to his doom. I mean, it was probably just like a dude who was trying to build a... No, again, not real. These have to be rooted in something. No, they're rooted in people telling stories to just fucking pass the time.

I know, but like... No, you don't think there was like a big strong guy, and I was like, God, this guy's so strong, he's like, oh, he's like, God. I'm sure there was big strong people, some saying. But also back then, the engine breaks through the question. The average height was like 410.

Let me ask you a question. I went down, okay, this is funny. I went down a rabbit hole the other day of like conspiracy theories. Do you believe in giants? No Come on, man. Oh, you need me to all right. Ask me again. Ask me again. Do you believe in giants? I don't know change my mind That was not the thing I was okay. All right. Do it one more time. I'm not doing it again. This is for a clip obviously No, I What the fuck else what I want to talk about this No, I'm saying I went down a rabbit hole and I saw some stuff about I I did not believe in giants at one point

Because some people are like you know giants built the pyramids or I'll fucking know, but I am saying Giants make sense to me. Because if you look at like Shaquille O'Neal, right? To very tall, huge tall guy. That was like, seven two. He's so big. I don't know. But like, maybe he just has like trace amounts

of this giant DNA in his body, but he's got some of it. So that's why he's a big fucking dude. But then back in the day, it was more like like plentiful and like you know in people Like there was a whole race of gigantic people that were huge like that's interesting You say that because the Norse mythology they have the people of Yotinheim Who they believe to have been the giant race some sand so maybe there the Yotin. And you don't think that we killed them? Like, yo, they're too big to take the first one.

How the fuck would we kill? How would us? Bro, if there was a giant that walked in here, I don't know, all the spears. Bro, if there was a- Bro, ropes, trip them once they get down, boom, boom, boom, boom. And kill some gulliver. Travel shit.

I see what you're saying. Exactly. I don't know. I don't think so. I think if there were giants, we're not fucking taking them out. And I can imagine it's short little bitches like you and fucking Alexander the great Napoleon who thought of that You know who said like there were giants our army killed them just saying because that's what they all operated on back then

Just like tall tales of just fucking like heroic battles. You would do well back then because you like the lion shut up bitch I'm just saying people would have thought I always says that because when I was 13 I he fucking disproved one thing I said and swore that I lied about it. Fuck you 13 is very late for that But yeah, no, I believe in giants also there was like a bunch of things about like the temples around the world and like Pyramids and stuff and I'm like we didn't make these Well, I think oh or not that we didn't make these. Well, I think, oh, we're not the way you didn't make these, but that the civilizations that made those, way more advanced than us.

But definitely uglier and stinkier. Well, yeah, there's some weird things like, oh my God, they're disgusting. They're all covered in dust and probably soot. You love soot. Well, no, every time I see a picture of like, like, it's like they're like, they have hair all over their face.

Those are cave men, Joey. That's what I mean. They were not advanced. They were probably way dumber But you're thinking of like the ancient Romans the ancient Greeks, you know the fucking you know people like that I just think that they were probably like covered in hair No hygiene stuff. No, I will tell you this. I don't how did they have sex? They they just walk around naked most of the time or they were, they were, they were all, do you not get a UTI and your whole shit falls off? Because stuff was different back then

because people weren't going around like that fucking Penn State professor and fucking dogs in parks. Back then they were just like, eating grapes, drinking wine, and then like having big bushes. That's what they had. That's what protect them from all that stuff.

Big old, fat old bushes. Or they were holding all the bacteria. And ol' fat old bushes. Or they will hold in all the bacteria, and I'm not gonna jump over the professor thing you just said. Hmm? Apparently there's a story, some professor got caught trying to have sex with his dog in a park. Trying or doing it at a park.

Yeah. Not that I'm condoning this behavior, but it feels like a private indoor, in your old, what the fuck. What the fuck? With the phone off the hook and the goddamn rights down. You heard it here from Joey. Have sex with your dog in your own place.

No, I'm just going to say that's what you said. That's what you said. I'm saying if you're going to, people said. Park is in the bottom three places. People said that he was reportedly found in a a ski mask and like other things like hide his identity in a park with a dog to literally just go home like you don't need to wear a disguise your in-pop like that's your that's your advice to the bici artists out there is to just unsure if that's a word but I know what you

mean you know the bici-ality supporters just like just have sex in your own home I think that would be best yeah That's a word, but I know what you mean. You know, the B.C. Audi supporters just like, just have sex in your own home. I think that would be best. Yeah. Don't do it, disgusting, and I will hunt you down. But like, apart? But that's what they were doing back then in like the ancient times.

They'd be like, oh, this dog here, this street dog is a fucking descendant of, you know, Hephaestus, and if I have sex with it, I'll be gifted the iron mite of the gods. And it's like, dude, you're just having sex with a street dog in the middle of the desert. It's funny because when I think about that, it's funny because when I think about that,

I feel like it's the equivalent of when you're younger and you're like, when I put these new sneakers on, I will be the fastest person on that. I will be like Mike. Exactly. It's just like, and you're younger and you're like when I put these new sneakers on I will be the fastest person I will be like Mike exactly It's just like and then you put them on and then you run a race if you beat anyone in the race everyone's just like Yeah, you know, it's like it's like when people like I don't know if you were like this when you played sports But I was and I guess still to this day. I am very superstitious Okay, and it's like the people that would be like,

oh, I had a hot dog before the game, and then they won like 10 to 2, and they're like, I have to have a hot dog before every game. Yeah. And then they have one the next game, they get slaughtered, you know, and then they're like, oh, well, it's because I didn't tie my shoes correctly.

I should have had eight hot dogs. Yeah, you know, it's the same shit, you know, they would do all that stuff. I recently read a bunch of, you know, stuff on on mythology and they would do stupid shit like that all the time to like scare kids most of the time Oh, yeah, you know, it would be like you know, don't Don't don't don't don't go on that water the you know Titan will take you down Yeah, you know stupid shit tell you what though We talked about this on the branch episode

But if fucking what's his name King Triton was a real thing and get right in that water I am astonished that you remember anything from that episode I'm gonna fuck that because I don't guys. I can't plug I cannot plug that episode I don't either like I know is that you shot Champagne all over Greg at one point. I shot champ a shot Greg with champagne. Yeah, still on the wall behind you Yeah, I'm gonna have to do something about that. It's just wiped down with her white paper towel. I know how to clean thing Okay, do you? Yeah, and

The 40 bags of garbage out there say the opposite bitch. Why that's cuz I cleaned You know what you you actually got me there. You've been got I've been given That's not, no. I felt more holy. You've been given, I guess not, for the IS risen. All I'm saying, I'm interested in Musk and Zuckerberg fighting. Yeah, I think Musk probably wins because he's big and doofy, like, you know,

like a Vince Vaughn or Frankenstein. But if Zuckerberg really is training and like fucking Brazilian jujitsu Dude how dope would it be just like play for keeps to have like two of the richest men on earth fight each other If they do it. I want to be the rest of us are fucking doomed. Yeah, like I I want to who's on the undercarves They're not just gonna do that. It'll be like fucking like Jake Paul and Baby Groanck. Well, yeah, Jake Paul should fight Baby Groanck. And then like George Bush, should probably fight Obama or something like that.

No, no, no, no, no. George Bush and Al Gore. George Bush and Al Gore. George Bush and Al Gore. Just a rematch of all the presidential elections. Yeah, Donald Trump should fight Joe Biden. And Hillary Clinton, 211 Special. They'd all die.

You just put him out there on the sun to a long time. Probably. You heard they found cocaine in the White House? Fire. And did you see there's a video of Hunter Biden? That was my next question. This guy's smoking crack going 180. 170% of the alcohol in Vegas? Going to Vegas. 100 This guy's smoking crack going 180 170

Vegas going to Vegas Dude if I was Hunter Biden at this point Lean into it. Yeah, just just tweet out. Sorry for partying It just sweet that out sorry for parters. There's also some other stuff there that maybe we shouldn't make too much fun of I Don't know but smoking crack and driving 170 miles an hour and then living to tell a tale is no easy feat. Clearly, and he was smoking crack.

I would say, like, we need to have, like, remember that show intervention, just like an episode with Joe Biden and Hunter? The discontrized hilarious. This is the funniest place on the planet to live. I don't know why. Every day is a fucking sitcom. Every day to listen.

The other day for Fourth of July, it rained in New York. So the hot dog eating contest got delayed. And it was canceled, but then they eventually put it on because people lost their fucking minds. But you don't fuck with those hot dogs eating hot dogs. Don't fuck with me watching so on each 70 fucking hot dogs. No, 62 I think he went for it. Joey Chestnut. Man, yeah, bro. You don't fuck with those hot dogs. Don't fuck with me watching so on each 70 fucking hot dogs. No 62 I think he went for Joey chestnut man. Yeah, disgusting. Let me tell you I watched the women's too What was her name because I'm not sexist? I you are in her name was something so do Mickey so pseudo

Yeah, I was I was written for glissie glissie glissie. No, she's fucking sucked it up to be honest Well, that's the name of the game. There were two women in The contest from Astoria to whom anyone we know now Yeah, one of them the last name is Debena De Doe. I remember that and she ate like five I Can do five. What is it 60 seconds? Are you fucking insane? What is it? It's 10 minutes. Oh, I can eat five in 10 minutes. That'd be tough The part that fucks me up is the bread fucks everyone up. I think I could do it. I

Think I can I think we should have a hot dog eating contest here. I Don't want anyone to like die Because you'll choke would you dunk? No, I can't dunk. I can't do that. Dude Danny I told you this but Danny with the piggy boys. I watched I watched a video of him I don't know if it's too hot dogs or three hot dogs He ate those and drank a beer. Yeah, and five minutes no in a minute. Oh I would choke I would a minute too quick. That's just insane to me kids of tank man. It's a big guy But yeah, I think I've done a hot dog. I have

done a hot dog eating contest like way back in the day. Yeah, I think it was like you boss and Tommy. And then we put it I was I was on a full screen. So I don't have the footage. But I'm pretty sure I also drink a butt heavy. Well there you fucking go. There's 12 hot dogs in one. And I had ketchup on mine. Yeah, there you go. But I think I ate three and a half in 10 minutes. It's tough, dude. No, I can eat at least four. In 10 minutes.

I think boss ate like seven. Boss, he used to be able to put them down. That looks great now, by the way. Haven't seen them, but I imagine. Okay, that's such a weird thing to say. Anyway, I think that we can wrap up here, Frank. Where can they find you, buddy? FHL is 8085 on Twitter.

The Frank Alvers and all the forms of social media. And I keep telling you guys, go check out that Patreon. Patreon.com, size of the base of your yard. We wanna get to 23, we get something cooked up, ready locked, loaded and ready to squirt. And then 24, we got some, and then 25 we got. So thank you, brunch episode out now.

We appreciate it. Let's keep on moving in the right direction. Go get the new dog suckin' merch. Shop that synagogueostudios.com, baby. Yeah, go follow me at Joe Sanigato and go follow the show at the base of your yard on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all. See you guys next time.

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