The Basement Yard - #411 - Lizzo Made Me Do It (Allegedly)

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

The Basement Yard is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BASEMENTYARD today to get 10% off your first month. Joe and Frank talk about the recent Lizzo allegations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, welcome back to the Basement Yard podcast. It's Frank Alvarez here. I hear with my buddy Joe Sanagato We're gonna talk about things that make us chuckle make us laugh. How you doing? Oh, dude, no, you didn't like it. How you doing? How you yeah? First of all that your that wasn't your voice That's not how you speak who wasn't God knows mr. Rocker's version of you I don't know it's so funny I've been seeing stuff like TikToks recently of like it's like people that like answer people in like podcast voice And it's like god damn. I think I think I was guilty of that for a long time. You have a podcast voice I think there have been times in our friendship our illustrious friendship that has spanned three decades now

Technically for for counting We're not how 90s 2000s 2010s 2020, 2020s, bitch, where you would say to me like, oh, sometimes talking to you is like talking to like an office worker. Yeah, because I'll ask you a simple question. And I'll be like, I'm like, yo, like, you know, is it cool if I bring this this weekend or something?

You'd be like, well, I gotta see, I gotta check my schedule. And I got it. I'm like, just talk to me like a person. I do talk to you like a person. No, you water cooler like a person. No, because you want it to be like, hey, what's up, bitch, let's fucking do a hard fucking fun times or shit. Like you want, I don't know what,

what is that? But that's what you do. That's not what I want. It's mustache, Joe. Mustache Joe is a fucking renegade. He's absolutely out there. Are you wearing purple shoes? Yeah.

Wow. I didn't, I don't, I'm like, you don't really see purple shoes often. I like them. I have two pairs of purple shoes. Do you really? Yeah, bitch. What's the other purple ones? Par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par-par game of yours ago. Wow. Yeah. Two pairs, purple shoes. Wow. Ask me how many pairs of white shoes

I have. I'm gonna, two? One. You got it. Got it. Yeah. But I don't, I, I think in the past, I had podcast voice, but since like certain things, I also don't think you realize you, you're very forgetful with certain things and you're a little fucking dumb bitch sometimes. Thank you. Well, what do you mean I'm a dumb bitch? Well, yesterday we were talking and you're like, all right, well, tomorrow we spent all day Monday figuring out the schedule. We spent all day Monday figuring out the schedule and then it was all day five minutes and then you wrote it down. We put it in calendars and then yesterday you're like, all right yeah, well, we're doubling up tomorrow. I'm like fucking no or not. Yeah, you know news to me. Yeah, so it was it was

it was a misspeak miss mistake that's not mistake it probably was and this spoke everybody makes mistakes everybody has those days I don't know Hannah Montana is it or is it Hillary Duff oh I don't know tomato tomato you know well no they're very different are they yeah Hillary Duff's got the fucking ping-pong-pum. Poof. Poof. Poof. What is that?

Is that the fucking, the porcetta? Yeah. Wow, does she? Yeah, she is. I haven't seen, I know Becca was watching how I met your father and she's in it. It's a show on Hulu. That's not the thing.

I don't think I've seen it. I've not the show though, right? How I met your father. Yeah, no, it's mother though, isn't it? Listen to me, you dumb fuck. Yeah, they did a revival, like a new one, with Hillary Duff. Ew, ew, what?

Yeah, where have you been? Well, I don't watch shit remakes of shows. I don't either, my fucking dumb life does. Ha, I would rather another hole in the ass than fucking watch that show. I watched episodes of it. I just liked it there in a bar. And that there's a gay guy fucking all the women. Oh, Neil Patrick Harris.

MPH. Yeah. Really throwing that fucking weiner around. Yeah, and it's funny because like That's not what's happening. He's not doing what I mean like he's throwing his weiner into other parents Weiner's apparently not a very nice man MPH yeah, he's a mean gay man pair Well gay doesn't have anything to do with it Cancel is that that's time out what's cancel Cancel cancel cancel I must think he's the purlatives cancel is that that's time out what's cancel?

This walk that was Wakanda. I was gonna go T. No, what is not a T that's an X Just there's no just move forward cancel. Okay You've been canceled that's care a little enough. Yeah, I don't know what that was yeah Remember we wanted that show that he hosted and like in between commercials. He was like really not nice I honestly don't remember much about that really yeah, quite a bit I remember it was host every week they did a guest host and it was hosted that week by Alex Baldwin. Yeah This is before he shot someone well accidentally well someone was shot Well, I don't know so Well, someone was shot.

Well, I don't know. So, uh, but yeah, I never liked how I met your mother or fucking... It was okay. Big bang theory. Yeah, I never took science and like too much quip and funny, laugh track stuff, and I didn't. What? Can I ask you... I was gonna ask if I can ask a question, but as you said, this is a podcast open forum for asking questions.

Yeah, preferably ones that might make us chuckle. Uh, I... What is like a old timey sitcom or something that was kind of like before our time that's just like a feel-good show for you. So I felt okay, fucking Seinfeld Nazi like something else. You can have another fucking part of your personality. Your whole personality Seinfeld. No, it's not. Yes, it fucking is. No, it isn't. You had a giant drawing in a print framed in your old apartment. Yes.

Of all the Seinfeld characters. Yeah. It was like a lot of stuff. You had Fusili Jo on a fucking Keith Gami, that's a great play. You had an Asman fucking a vanity plate. I think that was also a gift from Keith. You had a pillow. Keith. Okay. fucking uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa like you're this fucking eclectic person. I believe I'm a little more eclectic We get it done why you read books about billionaires you fucking loser listen dumb first of all you literally are T and Megazords

How's that make you feel that's a better your Pikachu and Long-T bro that's it listen that's all there is Listen to me like you're so deep. It is one of the most complex Forms of T. Ulon because the range of oxidation could be anywhere from like and a 90% Joey whatever dude, but fucking have some more So let's get into this. That's culture appropriation, right? It's not for you. I'm not sitting there Days for the world bitch. I'm not sitting there and fucking you know doing like a full like Chinese tea ceremony Yeah, yeah, I think you are

Am I am I doing that? I who's to say what fucking what do you do at your spare time sit there and drink like a fucking lush You ever I'm putting fucking Oolong black green whites into me and you're what? That's right bitch, and you're just putting fucking like oh hazy IPA sour IPA a fucking double double barrel shotgun Maybe I don't know what the fuck you're doing You're a bitch. I like things that are a little more off the beaten path Joey Megazord collecting Yeah, that's off the beaten path You know, you know, You know what's up?

Put that- You know what's on that path there? You know what's on the path that you are on? Whom? Eight-year-olds. Yeah, well, you know, maybe I like to remain a child at heart. Maybe the way that's world beats us down makes me feel like I need to hold onto my innocence that I had. When I was eight-year-olds playing with fucking beetle borgs, okay?

Maybe I need to remember the good old days where the only thing I had to worry about was getting up in the morning playing with my friends going to school Hating my teacher and then coming home and eating some fucking kid cuisine. What do you think about you sit there and you revel in the horrors And the evils of the world and you're like wow, this is something. This is something I need to talk about with my therapist. Fuck you and your therapist well you'll come for me They won't see this but we're gonna we're gonna move on I need to get into something because I mentioned it on the previous Patreon. Yes, you're not on the Patreon, then you're a sacri-shit. Patreon, I'm not gonna be on the Patreon, baby. But, um, so I mentioned this area on a Grande.

Frankie has no idea what's going on. I don't know. All I- here's what I know about area on a Grande. You ready? There's news. New news. Do you know any new news? I don't- I literally know nothing that is new news. Okay. I'll- I'll name the things off about it. Oh no. I'm gonna go. Okay. I don't care what you know. Okay. I'll name the things off about it. I know. I'm gonna go. Okay. I don't care what you know,

because it's zero. Gotcha. Okay. In the grand scheme of things, it is irrelevant. She was married to a guy. Okay. You definitely don't know who it was

because I barely know who it is. I think everyone barely knows it. What's his name? Dalton. That name. Fuck. Okay. But they got a...

Surprise was he white. Gomez. He was Hispanic. Oh, wait a sec was he white? He Gomez he was His name yeah, I think that was his name. What kind of shit is that? I don't know It's very like one of the whitest names is he from the area like I have no Malmyshaxis I don't have information. I don't have information friend. Yeah but I, but so she was dating this guy, right? She was, I mean, dating. They were married.

Married to Dalton Gomez. Then she pulls up to like, Wimbledon, and she's not wearing a ring. Uh-oh, right. So she's not wearing a ring, so it's like, oh, she. Was she wearing like, fucking like cat paws and stuff like that? Uh, what? That's what you don't remember that? We knew someone who went to like the same whether like orthodontist or

Like a doctor that she went to or some they shared a space for a period of time And they said that she would legitimately sit there and wear cat ears and be like What the fuck? I don't remember that. Yeah, yeah, I'll be trying to confirm kitty cat. Well, whatever But anyway, if the leash fits, so that's not necessarily not an expression and also weird. But anyway, Erin Grande, right? So she pulls up to Wimbledon.

She's not wearing her wedding ring and she has like faded eyebrows. People are dying their eyebrows. I don't know what's going on. But anyway, stop. What did the faded eyebrows have to do with thing? It was just this thing. I said, you have to break down her physical appearance.

Okay, go ahead. Yes. So, once she to break down her physical appearance. Okay, go ahead. Yes so Once she shows up without her wedding ring people are like is she not married anymore? What's going on? Then all these reports coming out that she's now dating a dude who also she's shooting wicked right now for like something Broadway. I'm gonna fucking up to find gravity. So she was shooting that and people are like, oh, it's her co-star that she's now dating. And that dude was married with a kid and then he left his wife around the same time.

Apparently that she got divorced and now they're doing a thing and they're dating now. Right? So that's the T. That's the T. Yeah, I just said that. That's a lot of T. Yeah? You want the biggest part of this T?

Oh give me the T bag baby. This is him. Get the fuck out of here. What is that? Is that a fucking Pixar character? This is the guy dude. Is that not AI generated? No this is him.

Whom? He also plays. I feel like we should be using gender-neutral pronouns here. He's up, he's up. BAM! He's a Broadway guy. And he played SpongeBob on Broadway. Oh.

Which is not good. Which is worse. One. Yeah. SpongeBob was on Broadway? Apparently. There was like a live action SpongeBob. What was the show about?

SpongeBob. Like, she was previously a live action SpongeBob. What was the show about? SpongeBob. Like, over. She was previously on Nickelodeon, maybe it's like she makes him only dress up as SpongeBob, where she's just like flip my crabby patty. Don't know if you can say that. But Dan, right? So this happens, right?

So she's dating SpongeBob So she's dating SpongeBob. She's dating SpongeBob. And who was married? And she's Sandy Cheeks. Who was married with a kid. He was married to a woman who had, and he had a kid with her. The kid's not even one.

And he left her something for every on a grand day. Right? I mean, so Dan. Dan. He left her something for Ariana Grande, right? I mean, so then, then, then. Are we sure his old wife didn't leave him? Because we don't know. No, no, no, no, no, we don't know. He left her. But then there was always reports

about a lot of this overlapping type of thing. Well, this, this sounds about, I mean, there, timelines tend to be questionable and stuff like this happens. I.e. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Peter, Peter Dinklage. No, I said, Peter, why do I call him Peter David? I don't know.

Peter Davidson. Okay, Peter Davidson, yes. Peter David. Yeah. Apparently, he was dating Larry Davis's daughter. Before Ariana Grande, I believe. When they went public, the girl found out like three days after they broke up that they were dating.

For a lap. So it's just, like you can trace, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, like six degrees of separation. You can trace back to like the dawn of time if you were to just follow her overlapping dating history. What? It's just people think that like You know so here's what people are speculating that she

seduced on set this man and he had why it looked like it would be fucking hard We had wife and kid and he was like fuck that who did he play and wicked one of the lollipop guild That's not are they in wicket? I don't know. I've never seen the show show That's actually a great question who would he be who who would you seen wicking multiple times? Multiple times in addition to sign fell as the other part of your personality you talk about Ethan Slater wait his name is Ethan Slater hold on that's his real name Why did you do you know what that is no, but is that his real name yeah? Yeah? Well, we found the fucking... The smoking gun.

What? He's got a sick name, dude. He's in slay! Fucking ate that slay! Slay that! Slay that! Dude, it's almost like that slayer. That goes so much farther than his fucking boyish, you know,

the crew neck sweater wearing charm. The smoking gun. That's what it is. Dude, think about... Look at me. Look at me. Yeah, seriously, okay jokes We're gonna put jokes aside for a sec pause on the podcast, okay My name is Frank Alvarez Right what would you say I am on a scale of like good looking?

Don't don't please all right. All right. I would say but now I Look the same, but my name is like fucking Viper strikes You don't know that doesn't make me look better looking Strikes I could be the worst thing about you could All right, I fight for strikes. Yeah, but like if I walk into the room and I'm like, I'm like, hey, how's it going?

I'm Frank Alvarez. You'll be like, all right, fine. And I'm like, what's up? My name is Viper Strikes. You were like, whoa, dude. Ethan Slater, that's a sick name. One time someone used my pictures and were a catfish and people on Facebook.

And their name was Nate Sane. And I was like, that's what I should find. That's awesome awesome that's a sick you know think about I've I've talked about what my poor name would be if my name was just like you know like Jackson yeah Jackson hard grave yeah hard grave hard grave sure yeah hard yeah hard yeah I like hard I like it harder better so I would say harder, better. So I would say, you don't get hard. I'm just a slip of the mouth, it's fine.

I would say my not an expression. Okay, slip of the mouth, isn't that thing? Slip of the, Freudian slip, maybe you like it hard. Freud, wait. Freud-Gylin? How do you say that? Freudian. Freudian?

Yes, I thought it was Freud-Gylin. No, Freudian. Freud-Gylin. That's fraudulent. It's close. It's a very close. Freud-Gylin. Sigmund Freudian. That's fraudulent. It's close. It's a very close. Freudian. Sigmund Freudian. That's who is based off of. Sigmund Freud. Ian. No. Is it named Sigmund Freud? No, that's what I call it a Freudian slip. No. Sigmund Freudian. No. His name is Sigmund Freud. I wanted to see if I'd get you. You were the dumb one there. It's that fucking 12 year old

uh, you know psychology class he took it you know That said this is make sense yeah oxy moron You're the big moron you you're so Fuck it fried dude Anyway, everyone is dating SpongeBob dude dude kind of crazy don't I'm not done talking about this. Oh good for him though Obviously, well not good for him. He's gonna regret that Why you think they're gonna last forever come on? Can I ask you a serious question of Of like the major stars that are of like the you know like directors actors singers Broadway stars

What would be the worst Person to like date or marry for you? Probably just like, you know, the guy who does the lights or something, I don't know. No, no, no, they're not major stars, although they are big, you know, they're a part of it and they make, you know, the magic come true or whatever they say. I'm saying, like, of the ones I just named.

Oh, yeah, like who would be the most obnoxious to be with? Yeah, I mean, the Broadway ones are probably, they're probably tough, yeah. You'd wake up in the morning be like I'm made eggs I made eggs I made they send these like Be fucking too much They'd be like, oh, I'm tired You know if you look like this one, they're tired. Oh my god, dude I when I when I was in high school I was you know, I did the the

musical theater. And it was the most concentrated, fucking group of like theater kids that you would ever fucking see in your entire life. Where, at the school play? Yeah, but I'm saying, like, the caricature of like what it has become of like, you know, the idea of like the theater kid. That's really, really, really what it has become of like, you know, the idea of like the theater kid, that's really, really, really what it was. So like their time hanging out, like when we had parties, like our friends, yeah, we would like beer pong,

we would fucking, you know, do stupid shit, draw on each other, whatever. Draw on each other. When people fall asleep, you draw on them. No, you did that. I've never drawn on someone. No, Keith and Josh did it, Divino did it. You drew, I was a Josh.

Josh and Keith drew out everyone and themselves and they didn't draw on me to make it seem like it were me. It's fucking genius. That is genius. But they would legitimately hang out and drink and it would like one person would stand up and like start singing a fucking show tune from like, you look like a little dolly.

Yeah, it was, oh my god, it was. You would do that? I wouldn't do that. But how do you know that happened? You were there? Because I've seen it. There were times I had parties, or I went to a party and there were there.

You went to a theater party. I did, and it was as fucking miserable as you can imagine. Wow. Did you guys sing showtunes? By you guys, you mean them? I feel like you did, you know? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. No, I can no, no, no.

No, I can attempt, because people would sing show tunes from like fucking, you know, like shows I'd never heard of. It's so weird. It was very, very weird and uncomfortable. Yeah, although drawing on each, drawing dicks on your friend's face, this is also weird, too. Somehow less weird.

Okay. I think so. Yeah. So here's my next question for weird. Okay. I think so. Yeah. So here's my next question for you. Okay. I'm dominating the show right now. Yeah, I haven't even, I've been being cuck this whole time. Ha ha.

Of all the SpongeBob characters. Who would you date? Sandy Cheeks. Think so. Doesn't she have big fat ass? I don't remember I think she does SpongeBob would be like way down wait I've dated a couple Patrix in my life well female What? Just like dummies tell us about your ex boyfriend patrick dude Never dated any boy dummies you said wow yeah Have you dated any squid words?

I don't think I know anyone that miserable yeah, I can't I can't I don't think I did who what about Mrs. Puff Nah Pearl I don't know how would I classify a pearl? I don't even know cherry or are we going with the obvious size? No, I'm gonna I was gonna say did she cry a lot of that show or something yeah for her dad for her dad. Yeah, like daddy Yeah, I know Well, yeah, what was the question who would you date from Spongebob? Oh, yeah, I know. Well, yeah, what was the question? Who would you date from SpongeBob? Oh, yes, Andy I mean, I think it's the obvious choice right I would say so that seems like it would be is there like a hot hotie on SpongeBob

Hot hotie on SpongeBob. I don't think so. I can't think of anyone squilliam Oh, words brother or cousin or rival, Squid, and it's like, he's like the mustache. Yeah, I do remember that actually. No, that's not happening. Do you know, I don't know if I've ever told you this. So the episode that Squillium, the first episode that he's in is the one with the sweet, sweet victory.

Yeah. I actually pitched that as our fifth grade graduation song What my mom when they were when they were What we're in fifth grade. Yeah, you're going into the school Pitching ideas as a fifth grader my mom was in the PTA. She was very involved and I was the PTA She was she was part of the fucking you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Okay, that's true. I know but clean it up Jesus Christ our deceased friend. Is that better? Yeah? Yes, I've passed another for like a like an American themed song like a What song could we do? And then there was the wind beneath my wings which was like the to the parents, you know?

Yeah, why they make a say at graduation made a sing thrice That's too many songs a lot of songs. Yeah, I did a performer. say at graduation? Made a sing thrice. That's too many songs. A lot of songs. Yeah, I did a performance. I don't even remember doing this. Yeah, I remember. I remember they purposefully put the people that I couldn't sing in the back.

Yeah, like, get back there. It's like, get over there. Yeah, get over there, you. Duncan, back row. Jesus Christ. That's a joke for us. He's not watching. What, where, and how?

What song should we sing? World's greatest, just fourth grade. Fourth grade, yikes. We sang World's greatest by Robert. Robert, Kelly. No, just Robert. Robert. And then, but we did sing Selen Dion.

What's beneath my wings? No, because you loved me, we did, I think. Because you loved me. I'm me, we did, I think. Because you loved me. I'm pretty sure we did that. Okay. Yeah. And then when beneath my wings was one of them, that might have been the one first of fun.

And then there was another one. I can't remember it off of that in my head. But when they were trying to pick the songs, my mom was like, I can't think of any like song. Like, no one's able to come up with like a good song. And I was like, oh, it was around the time that episode came. I was like, oh, I like use this song from SpongeBob. And my mom was like, what? And I was like, yeah, this song from SpongeBob.

And this was at the time of fucking Kazaar, bear share, lime wire. So I went and tried to download like six versions of it. And I just got a ton of viruses. Damn. So we could. Why did you pitch that song? It has.

The song is fucking awesome. Yeah, but it has nothing to do with fifth grade graduation. Sinking to our parents. Oh, so we could you pitch that song and that song is fucking awesome Yeah, but it has nothing to do with fifth grade graduation singing to our parents Oh and we and we fucking what were the other ones that we did because you love me really has to do with Graduation it has to do with your parents love me and now I could it's what do you mean? It's directly involved. I guess you might be right there and I might have to concede but thank you But I think that would have been a six song. What would you have rather done? What would have encapsulated our time as fifth grade

or singing? Pokemon theme song. Man, you ain't fucking kidding. Yeah, I still have vivid memories of you in the talent show. Second grade, I think it was second grade. I don't know why I remember that so vividly. Like I don't remember anything from a year,

but I remember that. And I do remember second grade, that was Miss Macchio. Yeah. I remember Dennis was in the back of our classroom for some reason. Probably got like in-house suspension or something. Something. But like it was like the end of the day and I like went over to say hi to him and Miss Macchio. Man. I thought she was gonna fucking throw me out the window. Yeah. She's like, this is my friend! You don't talk! Yeah, she had a little bitch out. She had you, she had you a teed up

ready to fuck and kill you. Yeah, no. Also, you remember that, remember we had like an Indian kid come to our class like later on in the year, and it was like his first day? Was this thing like Simon or something like that? I don't know, I mean if it was, that probably, you know.

But anyway, I remember being like, oh, it's a new kid. I'm gonna like pair up with him to like write, to she's like, oh, pair up with people. So I went right up to him, I was like, dude, I'll work with you. Yeah, I remember that. So, I was like, the fuck, dude. So I went up to the new kid and I was like, hey, man, I'll work with you, whatever.

Then it was like, we went back to the new kid and I was like, hey man, I'll work with you whatever then It was like we went back to our normal Desks and then it was time to do that again for a different thing He's looking big somebody else. I was like bitch. Who would he pick someone fucking better than you? I guess I was like, who you were a fuck dude? You were a backstabbing bastard. That's why no one was stabbing any Well, I was fucking stuck with Vigeli as fucking diseased face Disease I don't know look weird I mean, meanwhile, I was fucking stuck with Vigeli as fucking diseased face. Disease? I don't know. It looked weird.

Second grade, guys. This is a second grader that he's talking about. Bro, what? We were in second grade too. I don't know why you're saying that, because he looks like a normal person. He did, but he had a bull cut. And I I remember. You can tell me that doesn't come with some fucking some internal bleeding.

It could- I feel like you're just saying stuff now and I don't want to be part of it. I'm doing alright. Yeah. We're gonna cut to it. We have some- There you go. I'm fucking flustered.

This is a fucking good day, Mia. We do have some responses for today, the first one, Bing. Hair story. Hair story is great. I've been using it for the past couple of weeks. Okay, I got it into my shower. Also, I have one of those suction cup shelves

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We can't thank you legitimately. It makes our hearts big and fat, not an unhealthy way in a good, lovable way. So go to patreon.com slash the base of your art. You sign up today. You get these weekly episodes. One week in advance, you sign up for that first tier, and then that second tier, that's where you get exclusive. XXX exclusive, not triple X, because that's, Vin Diesel's not in it, neither is Ice Cube,

and there's no porn. But that's where you get insane. Kind of a little more off the beaten path episodes of the Patreon, where we talk about, really anything and anything that are hard to desire. So Patreon.com slash the base of the yard, thank you for getting us over 24,000. We're creeping toward 25. If we keep doing that, Joe and I have some stuff in the works to thank you guys

for getting us there. So we appreciate it. We love it. We are so grateful and we want all the hugs in the world. But listen, we can't hug you all because we end up with like leprosy or something. So patreon.com slash the baseman yard sign up today. Bro, speaking of have you seen like Florida bed? There's a lot of like leprosy now. People are tagging me in it. They're like, you jinxed it. Uh uh uh uh. A fucking jinxed it. It's Florida. They don't count. Of course it counts. Why? They're their own world. What? When something bad happens there? It's like, oh, sorry country. When something good happens there.

Oh, sorry. Other way around. Some good happens there. We're like, we love Florida. Bad. It's like, fucking, let me figure it out. Yeah, that's what you just did. I didn't do that. You just did it. I did a little bit, but yeah, you know, it's Florida Lettersy is what it is what it and now skin What happened I get that in lupus mixed up. I don't know what either of them are so I don't even know what I'm getting mixed up Cuz I don't know what the lupus lupus lupus that well lupus we have the answer Selena Gomez has Lupus, lupus, lupus. Well, lupus, we have the answer. Selena Gomez has lupus.

Had lupus, has lupus? I think it's an army. I don't think it's something that you get rid of. It's something that she had to get like a kidney donation, didn't she? Also, Selena Gomez. She's got something else instead of lupus. I'm not gonna say what it is.

Bupus. Yeah, she's got bupus. Bupus. Selena Gomez is not have lupus. She's got bupus. Yeah, well. In a respectful manner, we're saying that. He's making fun of got boopus. Boopus. Selena Gomez is not at bloopers. She's got boopus. Yeah, well. In a respectful manner, we're saying that. He's making fun of her lupus.

No one's making fun of her lupus. I'm saying, when I think of lupus, I think of Selena Gomez. I know that she's struggling with that, but I also saying that she looks great and she's got boopus. Look at the difference between Laplace and Lupus. Let's look at bloopers.

Laplace makes people look like... It's an autoimmune disease that can cause joint pains, fever, skin rashes, and organ damage. And that's lupus. That's lupus. Okay, that's tough. Autoimmune, listen, that's fucking... Leprosy.

I am not even going to pretend... You spelled it with, like leopard, or I think it's leprosy. L-E-P. Got it, dude. Gotcha. It's a chronic bacterial infection. Or it's I think it's let Proci LEP got it, dude It's a chronic bacterial infection affects the skin and various nervous systems of the body particularly the peripheral nerves peripheral fingers and like toes and shit. Yeah, I guess Perci doesn't it make people look like all discovered patches of skin

Growth's on the skin thick stiff or dry skin. Do me a favor. Hit images. Don't for me, I don't wanna see it, but just do it and tell them report that. It just looks like lesions, but these are always like the worst cases. I'm always afraid, stop scrolling. Once you scroll further than that, it gets...

Okay, what the hell is that? God, that's got something else. This is not even the leprosy. Is that a hand or a foot? It's a hand, but it looks like it was caught in some sort of crushing machine. Yeah, those Floridians, man, they're going through it. Yeah, they got leprosy. Where does it come from?

The Earth, man. Where does any disease come from? What do you want me to answer? Some come from animals, some come from plants. No, I don't. What are you gonna do with that information? Stay away from those animals or plants, Joey. What do you think?

Come on, it's an easy answer right there. Boopus. She's got boopus. She does. Big boopus. Yeah, but you know, not big boopus. I guess also, but also, who's got some big fat problems on their hands right now?

It's our former homegirl Lizzo. Oh, I don't know if you could say big fat problems when you're talking about that. People are gonna think that you're... Man. Alright, let's back up a Okay cool cool cool. It's not Okay, go leave this all in Josh Frankie said that that's so fucked up No, I didn't mean it like that because she's being accused. I mean, I mean the issues at hand are larger than life

Larger than you know, I don't know if you can say that She has some pretty pressing issues. Is that better for you than Joey? Oh, dude. Lizzo is facing allegations in a recent... It's really so weird. In a recent lawsuit that is from, I think it's like former dancers or kind of people that were on tour with her. Yeah, Lizzo's in hot hot hot water because she was making her dancers apparently allegedly. This is what it says allegedly. Sook bananas out of like a strippers who bang her? And you know, dude, I was really in his crazy.

So there are other allegations as well. A lot of fat shaming allegations which... Bro, she, they went to Amsterdam. They were at a club called banana banana bar and she reported exactly what an awesome an Amsterdamian right that right no she began inviting cast members to take turns touching the new performers okay don't do that please why why do you go right what's that one I was doing I was being inclusive. Oh, you were you were touching all the new performers

Catching Dildos launched from performers of a gin as how do you launch one hold on these are some of the strongest how what kind of kegels is this? Yeah, fuck a kegel. What kind of air they got behind that thing? Is it like the blob where you jump on one side of it and it shoots out the other someone jumps on their stomach It's like comes out. someone's gonna catch it. Yeah. It's like catching like a fucking bow and out. I was like, ugh, yeah, exactly. It's like, all those fucking action movies where someone shoots something and they just fucking,

pang! Yeah. So anyway, yeah, so they went to a strip club in Amsterdam. But not in that room. Yeah, and it says, you begin inviting cast members to touch the new performers, catching deal those launch from the performance of a Giannaz and eating bananas protruding from the performers of a Giannaz can I ask a question? Why you got bananas in your stuff?

I mean, I think that's one of the more phallic foods that people often Play with I guess is yeah, but not to be eat, you're not a banana holder. It's still a banana, Joey. If you keep the fucking peel on it, you could still eat the inside. It's like an avocado. Just wash it outside off.

You can't eat a banana out of a stripper's pud. Listen, what happened to the good old days of like going to like a show and a woman comes out in a brisier and a fucking feathery boa and people lose their goddamn minds. Frankie, you've never been to a show like that. What happened to those days? Where men were men and women were women. Well, like where women wore triangular bras.

Yeah, it's like- Points like this. You know what this reminds me of? Professional wrestling. And I'll tell you why. Just so we're clear. Whatever, yeah. You think that Lizzo making her dancers eat

both deep and innocent. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not speaking on Miss Oh, Miss Oh, whatever Lizzo's real name is. I think she just got one name. I'm not like seal and McLevitt. Do you know what her name is? No, that's why I'm just calling her Ms.

It's gotta be like Elizabeth or something. Elizabeth Orion. Her name is Melissa Jefferson. Lissa, Lissa, Lissa. Oh, Lissa. I guess that makes sense. Melissa. I'm not speaking on these allegations against Lizzo. Yeah.

I'm saying the whole like, you know, like we're out and let's shove a fucking banana in our stuff and have someone eat it out. Reminds me of professional wrestling. Yes, I would say that. When did that happen? I'm professional wrestling. No, I'm saying like this, Joey. Who's one of your favorite professional wrestlers of all time?

Stonecoatsy lost it. Okay, give me, give me top five. Stonecoatsy lost it. The rock. Jeff Hardy. There it is It's like Jeff Hardy Jeff Hardy you see him once dive off the top rope through a table It's like whoa the next time you're like do a fucking ladder the next time you're like jump on a higher ladder Then you're like jump off the fucking Titan Tron When's this gonna stop when the guys jumping from the atmosphere and doing a swan tom bomb?

Someone's done that, you know. Not a swan tom. That's true. But like, you know, why do we need a resort to bananas and various fucking fruits and phallic vegetables being shoved in and out of chumped? Apparently also she like made one of her she made one of the people of her security team get on stage and she took his, pulled his pants down

and hit him with whips. I've seen that at a strip club, that's not that bad. No, no, but you can't make people do the thing. Yes, you can't make people do that. But you know, I've seen, that's compared to everything else. People catching fucking flying projectiles. Badger to remember her security seemed to get on stage where she pulled down his pants and hit him with whips. The next week the plaintiff Salizzo took her dance team out without telling them they

were going to a nude cabaret bar in Paris. So she just wants to be around the alegish privates. From what it sounds like, because allegedly, allegedly, there are other allegations in there that reportedly are alleged. Alleged. Allegations. Claimed alleged allegations. That could be true or not.

That could be or not. And they're all rumours. They are all rumours and allegedly maybe have happened, I don't know. Could happen, but maybe. But some of it says that she, like, fat shames. Yeah, which like, she is built a fucking persona on being like, fucking look at me,

love me how it is, you ain't gonna say shit. While playing the flute. While playing the fucking flute. Yeah. And then making people go out there and play the skin flute on stage or something like that. Apparently, not a good look, Miss Lizzo.zo and we were we were Lizzo boys, you know Why were truth hurts?

Is that what yeah, that's the one why were we Lizzo boys again? Cuz I said I liked the song. Oh, yeah Catchy tune is catcher to the clip the clang clang. Oh, yeah, you're called truth hurts. I remember that Song was called I messed up the name of Lizzo song assuming Well, no, don't because a legend that's what we're that's why we're saying. Oh, that's why that's why Lizzo don't see what don't see us. We're not Mrs. Mrs. Jefferson that's it Jefferson miss Jeffersen miss. Yeah, we don't know if she's married. Oh, well Miss Jefferson. Yeah Bad luck. Allegedly.

Yeah, it's a bad, a legit look. How do they corroborate this? What do investigators need to go to Amsterdam and be like, all right, I'll go. Yeah, yeah, it's like. We're the bar where they were shooting in Eden, bananas. Oh, I'll do it. I'll go.

I'll handle the case. Do you think that that place is gonna get more like, as if Amsterdam needed more fucking attention on bananas and vaginas. They probably got wilder shit happening over there. I had no idea that that was going on. You ever been to Amsterdam? No, I wanna go. Does this make you want to go?

Should we go to Amsterdam and we'll go to Banana Bar and we'll check it out for ourselves. I am very good. I am okay. I am very, very happy. We don't have to eat the bananas, but I wanna see someone else eat the bananas. Oh, oh, oh, oh, in that case.

No, I don't wanna fucking see anyone shoving any fruits in or around their flaumped. Come on, you will have one time. I've lived enough lifetimes to not want to see that. Trust me. You just want to, I just want to see an old, rickety man be like, this is the best part of my day. He's eating the bananas at his hoop hanger. I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh like the peaches you get jarred or canned or something like that? You know what I had the other day for the first time? I don't not peach, you ever have one of those? Nope.

It looks, it's like more round. It's like this. It's fucking juicy. I think it was sopping well all over me. You fucking fucking fucking your mouth, wasn't it? Dude, like crazy. Yeah, I bet. That was covered in the juice.

Oh, so sick. Yeah, this is not very good for Liza. Yeah, Liza, this is a bad alleged look. Allegedly, this is a bad look. If this stuff were not alleged, it'd be a bad look. But the fact of where it is right now, it allegedly being not possibly maybe. Rumored to be alleged.

It could be a bad look. Yeah, but boy, we don't want to be sued by, you know, because of your rumored alleged. Yeah, we're just, listen, this is a journalistic podcast here. Yeah, we're not saying that it happened, but we're saying if it did, it would be crazy. Yeah, it would, Lizzo. Please don't do that to your dancers.

Also, who knows if it's true? Banana's, though? See, that's the part that I think is the most intimidating, is like, the place is called Banana Bar. Yeah, what are you, what are you fucking expect, if you go into an ice cream parlor, there's gonna be ice cream there. But I'm saying, I don't think that this thing is,

I don't, for me, and again, this is me speculation, a legend, guess I'm from her. Gets a number. Gets a number. Maybe if the place is called Banana Bar and there's a story coming out there, you making people eat bananas, had a someone's whole banger.

I feel like that happened. Again with the whole banger, huh? Couldn't couldn't mix it up there couldn't have said anything else. I can't think right now all I'm thinking of is this site of a banana Coming out It's like a dick. It's like a penis Joey one that curves upward people's penis to do that I know there's people's penises that do do that So like what if they don't look at me don't point at me. Oh, I did I was asking. No, definitely not this was you I don't know no no, I Think that they they went they went to a place that's called banana room

It's like that's probably like their fucking bread and butter, you know what I mean? Yeah, they do the banana trick every night like you know how they go, you go to that fucking seafood market in Seattle and see fish get tossed. Right. You know, you, you go to that hot dog stand in Chicago to hear people get berated about hot dogs. You know what I was bullshit? When I went to Seattle, we went there.

I didn't see one fish. I mean, I saw the fish, but no one was throwing them around. I think you have to buy fish. That might be it, but no one was buying one. Fuck, I'm really tired. I think you probably have to buy it

and be like, toss it to me across this cold wet market. Hey, don't. Is that where free willy takes place? Because they did that in a free willy. Might have been, might have been. Also, there's something about a fish being wrapped in newspaper that I'm like, this looks delicious. I need it right now.

It's just because usually like wet newspaper is disgusting, but when it fishes in the newspaper. Yes. I'm like, this looks good. I'll tell you seriously, when I see that, I wanna do that like old cartoon thing where like cats put the fish in their mouth and they just pull out the whole fucking skeleton and it's like, oh, a fish in newspaper looks so delightful.

Yeah, and it probably is disgusting. Yeah, I probably is. Because you have the smell of the ink and paper now all over this fish, which you don't want. You don't want the sports section laking onto your fish. Yeah, do you think I want to eat fucking Garfield in Friends? No, I want to eat some good old fashioned halibut.

Yeah, what's that? It's a fish. Got it. I don't know many species of fish. Name all the ones you know. Bass. Okay. Minnow.

Tuna. Gold. Okay. Fighting fish. That's a new one to me. It Okay. Fighting fish. That's a new one to me. It's the fighter fish. Fighter fish? They fight each other.

If you put them in the same bowl. Is that why they're called fighter fish? Yeah, it looks like they have ribbons. Oh, like rainbow fish? Rainbow fish? No, I know the rainbow fish. That was a good book. That one's a good book.

Are there rainbow? Yeah, there is rainbow trout. There's rainbow trout. It's a big one you're missing. Flounder. There's also a fluke. There's a bigger one there. There it is. Yeah. Come on. Catfish. Sturgeon. Sturgeon. Catfish. Yeah. I had a fish, didn't I? I think your sister had a fish, didn't I? You're, I think your sister had a fish, didn't she? I think that was a fighting fish. I've never heard of a fighting fish.

Uh, maybe you'll know the actual name of it, there, because we call them fighting fish. And I, I think that's, no, but I think that's what they're called. Fighting fish. Yeah, this, these things. What the fuck are these called? Bed of fish? Betas.

Yeah, betas. Are they called betas? They're called betas, yeah. Well, there's two teeth. A beta like you would know that. Are you crying right now? I yawned and there was a little tear behind it. Okay, take it easy, bet.

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A big story a huge story probably the biggest story we've ever come across honestly on this show There was a Florida manatee whose name was Hugh, and it died from internal injuries after his brother, whose name was Buffett, fucked him crazy. Yeah. So like a wild, incest bout of sex killed Hugh the manatee. All the homies are droppin', you know? First fucking Harambe, now Hugh. That was 400 years ago, first fucking harambe now you that was 400 years ago all right first of all it was seven years ago bitch you never forget that's crazy I that I

remember that yeah uh matcha being that kid who harambe was dragging around I saw someone posted that and they were like finding out that you know that was the kid and the person's like you know because harambe that was national news baby that was uh what was a big deal they did our boy dirty or her to you know bad of a parent you have to be to like let your kid fall into a no one lets their fucking kid fall Joey that it felt you're parent blaming them now kind of you're being a bitch the girl it's the gorilla hole the gorilla cage yes Joey and listen to what I'm saying the fucking whole that's hand I'm sure something happened where they fell in accidentally how old was the kid again

something bro I gotta tell you I've softened up because I used to see in 2016 when that came out I saw that I was like god damn if I were to see that now with that little baby sitting there looking up and Harambe taking I couldn't fucking deal with it now I mean yeah, dude a fucking gorilla. I'm soft like baby shit now. Can you imagine a real I just God no Joey Did you turn that kid into soup? Fucking yeah, it would be fucking you know stretch Armstrong all over again Pull the baby apart. Oh my god. That's that's the horrible. Why do you think this stuff?

Why would they do that? I don't think they would do that Well, that's the thing is that the video was like, Orambi was trying to protect the kid. It pulled it in close to protect it from drowning. Because there was like shallow water there too. He was like dragging him through the water, yeah. He wasn't dragging him. No, he was dragging him. Was he?

Yeah, yeah. I don't remember that. No, he was dragging him. Don't fucking talk shit about our boy. Alright? Who? Orambi. I'm not, I'm not. I'm Team Gorilla. You should be should be team gorilla because that's the only fucking team to be and team you here Yeah, you you got put down kind of wild. How do you fuck your brother? I read the report and it said like The there it was they believed that the death was natural causes, but it was not

Helped by like sorry. I'm yawning in the middle of the statement. It was not helped by like I'm like fucking torn up Asshole and like sex. Yeah, shit like oh my god, dude I'm reading this and it's kind of insane. Okay. I don't want to laugh because a manatee is now fucking dead as hell. Oh no I like manatee too, but I like man. They're like the dogs of the ocean. Yeah, I thought that was seals or otters Wrong man it's called see cows you stupid idiot. That's what it is Fucking idiot cows at otters are cool though cuz they lay in their backs They know how and they hugging the whole hands I just read a book to Ruby about that before bedtime the other night. Huggie is so awesome.

Would you rather hug or kiss for the rest of your life? Hug easily. Without a doubt. But yeah, apparently, dude. So him and his brother lived together for 27 years. I didn't even know fucking Manitze had that long. Room mates. Yeah, room mates.

Okay, lovers, I've heard that one before. But they had some high intensity sex and his bigger brother caused a hold onto your seats. Fourteen and a half centimeter rip in his colon. Guy was not gentle. Dude, Manatees got fucking big old. That's what I'm saying. I didn't even know, like, I can't even think about animals like that having dick.

What's the size of like a manatee's jitterbug? Pfft. Pfft. Manatee penis. Good? I'm not seeing it. Do they even have, where are they hidden on that fucking gelatinous blob of a body of theirs?

These things don't look real. This picture pops up of a woman and this thing's hugging its feet. I'll tell you this right now That's not a manatee dude. That's a drawing. That's fake. That's not real. No, it's not that's a manatee. You stupid fucking bitch Really? Um, but maybe teeth. I'm sure they have to they got teeth for eating Smiling what are they? I'm telling you this right now, and I'm dead serious if I'm Sure they have to. What do they got teeth for? Eating, smiling. What do they eat? I'm telling you this right now, and I'm dead serious. If I'm that woman who's hanging off a boat and a man tees hug in his legs, I'm kicking it right in the fucking face. No, I'm going down and I'm giving it a proper hug.

Oh, you went British for it. Proper. I'm not. Anything, if I'm getting out of the ocean and something grabs my feet, I am flailing like a fucking child. No, I want to hug every animal. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Do it. There was a video the other day. My sister sent it to me. She's like, you'd be dead because people were driving on the highway. That's how they drive, Joey. That's exactly how they drive. People were driving on the highway and they's how they drive Joey. That's exactly how they drive. People are driving on the highway and they have the window rolled down and there's a bear. Look on the side of the road and the bear just turns around, looks at them and

whatever and they just like slow down and then then the bear gets up on its high legs and just goes I've been like pull the fucking car over. I'm going to hug the bear and then I would be like where was in the back seat get an uber Yes, put the bear bear back baby and the bears coming with dude Beatrice came face-to-face to bear the lake house Yeah face to face This close if not closer She was she heard something like going through the garbage outside during the day and she went out there thinking it was my dad and she was like, what are you doing?

And obviously in Spanish, she said it. I can't, no, I'm free, I'm fine. And then she went over and the thing stood up and was fucking in her face. And she said like she couldn't realize it. And she backed up and it ran back. But she said it was clearly a cub. And I was like, you were so fucking lucky.

There was a cub, which you know what Cubs mean. Hey guys here, watch this. I'm gonna be Steve Irwin first set. If you see a bear and you think it's not an adult, stay the fuck away from it. Yeah, because if you touch that cub, you're fucking dead. If you, fuck touching it, go anywhere near it. You ever heard of the term mama bear? You know where that comes from that fucking mama bear will come there

And it'll take your whole asshole and it'll make it a blanket. Yeah, it will it'll turn your fucking little brim into a necklace It'll it'll light you up like a fucking fourth of July baby Can I just I can't it is a manatee god dude Can you safe search blurring is on how do I turn this Virgin shit off dude show me the dicks I can't Imagine oh wait well 14 centimeters by the way if we're doing math here folks. It's about six inches in change No, this picture is... No.

There's four. No. I'm gonna show you, because I can't put a... You can't show the people. That's a long look at that. What is that? Is that a baby? What it looks like is an elephant trunk.

That's no way. I can't even really tell what I'm looking at. I don't either. That looks like a newborn human. It looks like the leg of a tree. That looks like just fucking old bubble gum. It does look like old bubble gum. It looks like a purple hoof.

If you were to tell me what grimaces butt looks like, I'd draw that color and all. Yeah, so apparently they got dicks, dude. And he would have, and paid the ultimate price for you know 14 centimeter First of all this happened in Florida fuck you for putting it in centimeters. Give us good old American inches 14 okay, let me let me check 14 it's 2.54 centimeters in an inch. So do the math right there It's a 5.7 inch. Yeah. But that's not the penis.

That's in a rip in the colon, really. Yeah, you know how big your fucking cod has to be to make a six inch rip? Come on, big. Just fucking good old fashioned dangerous. It has to be girthy, probably. It's got to be fucking scary looking like with like teeth and just evil. It doesn't. I saw it.

It just looks like a purple like a thick vein. Yeah, what do you mean? I try to imagine just like evil like emitting from it like. Yeah, I didn't know that manatees fucked each other. I know Mother's brothers fucked each other. They should fucking hit up the island boys. Gay incest in the in Manatee kingdom. That's kind of crazy. I don't know. The probably ocean crazy place. Wilder stuff is happening out there. Do you think all animals have gayness?

Of course, I do think like, if you want me to get fucking podcast voice for you. No, but some dogs are like, hey, you're like, yeah, I'm a dog's gay. Bro, mad dogs are gay. Don't look at me and say that. Don't look at me. But what about like birds? You think birds are gonna...

I think they're probably those penguins that were gay. Penguins are gay. Bro, think about it like this. If it naturally occurs amongst fucking humans... Cat gay? Catcher little fucking crazy though. They're bitchin'. Cats, I feel like cats aren't...

They're lesbians, cats. Like, they got a little... Okay. You know what I'm sayin'? Yeah. They got like a thing about them. That's like... They're more lesbians cats, like they got a like a Okay, you know what I'm saying yeah, they got like a thing about it. That's like they're more lazy They're more lesbian than they are gay. Yeah, okay But if it naturally happens amongst humans then of course it naturally happens amongst animals Catapillars though like you think catapillars Catapillars don't got wings do they they? Any living thing, like you think mammals.

You think trees could be gay? Because they're alive. Yeah, that's terrifying. That he really did that though. I don't know who's out there. It's probably great. But moved the fucking... It's just six foot fucking thing.

And can get that low. Get low. Yeah, low. Dude, any mammal can be gay. Insects can't be gay Do you think mosquitoes could be gay insects on the suck of dudes all the time? They're sucking fucking everything. They're sucking anything that I got blood. Yeah, what does a horse? Careful what my slutshame mosquitoes

Yeah, suck anything that moves Joe. Yeah, it's a legit though, but again insect right there as a mosquito Oh, you think insects are gay. No, I say I don't think insects can't because I don't think insects fuck with weeners and fucking Jimmy jams. Oh, do you think they what do you think they did? No, of course they do what do you know? They don't they may eggs Joey I have seen flies fucking I have to but like I don't think it's like I don't think a fly is a fucking penis I think they're probably just like given them like a spit. No dude. They're fucking no way I bet you flies have cocks Do flies have penis? The male's penis has a The male's penis has sharp hooks and

And spines that servers Velcro letting it keep hold of the female. Oh, we talked about this. Did we? I think we can get over here. I think they have two dicks. They have one that like, No cockroaches. Cockroaches got to.

Oh, that was with cockroaches. Cockroaches has one that like fucking grabs them and the other that fucks them. Yeah, that was the thing. Which is, that's insane. Yeah, that would never. Too much. Yeah, too much.

But this one has a sharp hooks so that once it gets it in there, it's like, I'm not leaving until I'm done with this stuff It doesn't hurt the receiving the receiver. They probably got tough pussies But look they fuck just like us look at that dude. He's got this thing bent over Go on a pound on ass up out of fucking cherry Lee Dude look at this fuck happened to me there on a cherry leaf This this fucking this fly is got a bent over given or the biz

Obviously we're not gonna continue the podcast after that Obviously we're not gonna continue the podcast after that You gotta give me credit man you gotta I'm not I gotta you gotta give me credit you gotta not that was so good No fucking what do you what is what is you call it when two bees are having sex? Just indulge me here. This will be a good call it What do you call it? It will be a good clip. Okay, oh, you want to do a clip? You can go, go, go, ready? Come on. What do you call it when two bees are having sex?

What do you call it? One is giving the other the blizzness. That sucked the second time. I got another joke for you. Okay, go. You ready? We'll end on this, okay? Yeah. Three guys sitting in a bar. Okay. One guy goes guys. I believe I have the fucking... You think I haven't seen this Frank? It's a viral clip going around right now. You dumb piece of shit. You think

I haven't seen this joke? The Kelsey Brothers podcast? Is that the one you refer to? Oh you're talking about. Let me tell my joke. So one guy says like, it just do this. It's still the joke. It's going viral. Who's going to get upset? A football player? He'll forget about it tomorrow.

All right. Don't do the joke. It's 10 minutes long. All right. It is pretty long. But well, you know what isn't 10 minutes long? The Basement Yard podcast, which we want to thank you for watching and listening.

We sincerely appreciate it. You can join us here for new Monday with videos every Monday. You've got to start and end with the same energy, baby. Thank you so much for watching the Basement Yard Podcast. I've been Frankie Alvarez for Joe Sanagato. I want to bid you all a do. I want to say that we do new weekly episodes every single Monday 7 a.m. On You two and then for our patreon subscribers. Yeah, you lucky few out there. There's a lot there's more than a

Are you over me? Yeah, I'm ready No, go fucking I'll do I'll end it as Joe go Go fucking I don't do that. Yeah, you do no I'll end it as 2012 Joe. How about just ended it? How about do that? I'll end it as 2015 Joe So like you can go So like you can go on you do And you can go there the fucking like You're fucking go in the fucking line

You fucking Puerto Rican now Seriously, go check out the basement Shut the fuck up, I'm not you're done, I gave you five tries You are done Go follow us to the base, we're on a TikTok and Instagram and that is all, see you guys next time See you, bye talking to the screen and that as well. I'll see you guys next time. See you, bye.