The Basement Yard - #414 - It Goes Down In The Steam Room

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

The Basement Yard is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BASEMENTYARD today to get 10% off your first month. This episode gets steamy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the b- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- B- You fucking look me up and down and you make fun of something. I feel like I should have a mojito in my hand. You should open up another button. Yeah, absolutely. Two more at least. Two more. I would say it with the mustache, dude. You don't think that's too much dirt? No.

Dude, you're looking at you. You look great. Ah! That immediately down two pegs. Straight up to the record. Two pegs. You're gone two pegs. Yeah.

Open another and you might get a couple pegs by, you know, some lucky boy or girl out there. I don't want to be pegs. So is there ever, have, I've never want to be pegs. Okay. Let me answer your question. No, I've never, okay. Alright, that was going to be my question.

Yeah. Because like, you know how I'm like the heat of the moment, like things are so hot, you're just like, you just like, you just like, you just like pull something out of nowhere. Okay. But you've never, I've never, I've never in my life, ever, ever, ever. In any, any stick you're fucking fingering my ass. Nothing, I've never wanted anything inserted in me, whether on purpose. Have you ever said like spit in my eye?

No, mouth. Spit in my mouth? Yeah. That's my mouth. Oh my god. That's my mouth. I'm saying it maybe you know bitch. This is weekly, not behind a paywall.

My kids will see it one day. Yikes. Okay, but I gotta say, yeah. I brought back Hawaiian shirts. You're kind of perfecting it right now. I can't really see if I look good or not, but. No, you look pretty good. I believe you.

You look pretty good, but I actually, oh god, damn. I think I'm awesome too. You know how bad I want chest hair like that, dude? You don't have chest hair? I have like four. Oh, this is not like chest hair. Oh, but that's better than what I got. But that's like perfect like wearing an open shirt chest hair.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a little bit like a med. A med is a little too much. Okay. He shaves his body, so yeah. Well, when you have the amount of hair that he does, well, yes, of course. But I actually, you wearing this

is kind of bringing up some uncomfortable memories for me. Did I tell you, I didn't tell you. I would, so something happened in the steam room the other day at the gym. Big time out, where are we going? Oh, nothing like, no one touched me me or like fondled me or like- Gonna button back. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no steam room boy I end all my workouts with it you do like steam I so wait steam room or saw it's a steam I go both I start in the steam room get a nice wet going and then I finish in the sauna okay it's nice it's for long in the steam I go until I can't anymore and normally it's like 10 minutes okay because it gets hot in there and it's steamy you Hence the name, but I'm in there and brawl. No one loves fucking steam rooms more than just like old crusty bastards, you know what I'm saying? With their dicks out, yes. So listen, they say my first rodeo, I go to this gym frequently, there's a bunch of naked men walking around, older men, whatever.

Fat dicks or no? I don't look at their dicks long enough to tell if they're found you could tell by their bounce you know what I mean what like in your peripheral you could see you've never stared down the barrel of a gym dick you never but look I'm not staring though oh of course I'm not staring either but I'm like ask me if I'm stared and implement you know the implication is that you stare. I don't do this. I don't go like I go like You yeah, I'm like, wait, why are you so close to it? Oh, I mean I was this is

Why are you that close Joey? I? Don't stare I just Joey's not staring he's just I do get it looks either But no, yeah, that do get it looksy though. But that, no. Yeah, that's what you do, you just, no. No, if there's a dick, a gym dick walk, it's fine. It's just like, yeah, you know, you, if there's a dick of foot, I gotta get a beat.

But, especially, and you know what's so funny, is that dick suck. Oh, so wack. So wack, honestly, after like 65, just get it chopped off. My dick's gonna look like fucking stupid at that age. It does now. It's gonna look like one of those, like a fucking popcorn jelly bean. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, like spots on it. You could have liver spots on your fucking peepee. Probably. I assume it's coming in. Okay man, don't. If you can actively avoid that, do. I have to like, I guess, exfoliate it and like, I don't know what you have to do to it,

but if you're based in the water, I don't know. You're gonna get like Vidalago of the dick. Yeah. Yeah. But it's funny that like, old men are so like, they're the generation that is the most homophobic, but they wanna have their, but they are so willing to have their dick and balls

and butt out and everything out all over the gym. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. But so I'm in the steam room, I'm enjoying myself. Not as much because there's a naked guy next to me. And he's sitting. Oh, there's a naked man. Yeah. And it's not, bro, the steam room is not very big.

Describe this man. Naked. White? 100%. Uh? 100%. 100%. Naked. What kind of white? White?

Or like, oh, like, he, like, American though? Yeah, yeah, like American old, like, puffy gray hair, white hair. Just like a, just, just real asshole. Okay, I'm seeing that. The way he looks, he looks like an asshole. Looks like a game, it looks like a game of guess who right now exactly. Yeah, he looks like Imagine Mitch McConnell with a big mustache. He's that old. He's pretty old dude

Jesus so first thing I notice is he's sitting on the tile bench no towel He's hot dog in it hot fucking patties on the pavement Dude I feel like wouldn't that be hot as fuck? I would sit down I when I sit in the steamer my back on the wall cuz I get that little heat and it feels kind of good I'm like, ow it hurts for a second and then it feels so good, but this guy's put his balls Digging bones on the fucking on the on the bench. Did he have a big fat fatty? Balls? Sure.

What are you referencing? Yeah, everything. The mess. The mess. That was his mess. No, it was not very cool. OK, OK. It was not very sweet.

All right. It was an embarrassing old dick. Was it? Was that also on the bench? I think it probably rested firmly on his balls. I didn't see okay, but I The point I'm there. I'm feeling the point that I'm getting to yeah is this theme room is like maybe like 10 by 10 It's not very big. Okay, okay I'm sitting if that's the entrance right there or let's say that's the entrance for just so you can visualize it but remember small room

I'm sitting here. He's sitting maybe like three feet to my right. He gets up. And now listen, I am not, hold on. I am not sitting here and writing any books on steam room etiquette. Did you tell me this dude took a crap? No, bro, if he took a crap, I would murder him in that steam room. Are you kidding me? Okay, he stands up

stretches, you know, I know it's gone. Oh, oh, oh, you don't know where this is going. Well, what next one off? No stretches stretches his back does this and then goes and spreads his ass cheeks and then goes and spreads his ass cheeks. Pfft! Ha ha ha! For what? No clue. How long did he hold it open? It was like an open shot.

You know, like Miss Rachel, open shot them. Oh, that, he, so he opened his hold to you. I don't think it was, I'm, I'm, I'm, it was in your direction. It was definitely in my, like, it was in my neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? Like, he was in the city in my neighborhood, but not like on my block.

Right, yeah. You know, in the county for sure. I told Becca, first thing she said, she goes, did he do this to you or for you? And the optimist in me was like, no, but now I don't know. He stood up. He wanted you to see what he had. And like, whatet, bang.

Did you see? I didn't like look, I didn't stare at Sauron, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I definitely, I was like, whoa, I went like this, I went like, did he like do it? And then just like, slap it around.

He did it, but it was like long enough that it's like, I know someone else is in here with me. I'm doing this To air it. I don't know what he was doing it for I was this old fuck spread as hard. I don't know I don't know but I listen you know. I'm a very peaceful man. I thought I did want to hit him Did you say did you make a noise? No, because he did it and then he walked out and but to myself I went You know I did one of those. This was in the steam room. In the steam room.

Oh, so it was a wet, it was a wet asshole. An old wet asshole. Bro, and listen, how's this butt? Not cool, old butt dude. He's got that old butt. You know, old people butt wear it's like wrinkly around the size and then cottage cheese Oh my god, it's fucking shitty ass. Yeah, he did this look you ready watch. Yeah

That's hope that's an open hole dude. That's a long time that is to do that That's a full to like 1.6 seconds and now in my head I'm thinking like why did he why did he do this like no one knows really because like What are you doing because I know that move? I've done that move You've opened your hole in the shower To clean it to clean my butt, but he's not getting hit with that's that's why I didn't get it That's why and this is a true fucking story. I texted back at what happened and everything I Don't to this day understand why he spread his ass hole for me.

He wanted you to have dinner. Not from that fucking restaurant. Well, I'm just saying. That restaurant closed down. I think it was probably thinking. He was like, let me just show off what kind of cool he I have. But like, why? I don't know, man.

Like, what if I was in there with another person and they did that? Would we like we would have both been violated? Now you have to do it. You have to pay it forward. I think that's the rules. Is it like that movie? It follows like where it's like you never seen that movie. Have you?

Nope. Okay. Well, that's it. It could have been like the movie pay it forward. Oh, okay. You know, Haley Joe Osmond 55 burgers 55 fries. 50 bucks. I don't I'm not doing that for somebody else. You know, Haley Joe Osmond. 55 burgers, 55 fries, 55! I-I don't-I'm not doing that for somebody else.

I would never put anyone through the torment of having to see my asshole. I also go in to the steam room with clothes on. I don't go and naked like a fucking freak. Okay. So what do I do? What would it take for you to get naked in there? I know no one else is coming in and I have a towel. What about if me and you were like in Germany together?

If we were in Europe and we went to, you know, like a steam room, bath house or whatever, I'd probably get naked. I'd dump it out. Yeah. I wouldn't dump it on American soil though. Well, nah, it's too. If you dump it out in Europe, they're cool with it. Yeah, it's not.

Europeans are like, oh, so chic dump it out in Europe. They're cool with it. Yeah, it's like Europeans are like oh so chic that is so cool Here they'd be like were you fucking gay and then kill you Because Americans are so spray your asshole Spray I'm in spread. I don't spray that was the part that really confused me That is really a really confusing thing to deal with I'm sorry, you had to deal with that. Well, like, why? Couldn't he just, couldn't this guy just, have gotten up and walked out?

Yeah, he could have. Like, logically. Well, maybe he was trying to release some of the water that had been trapped in between these fat, disgusting. Here's the other part, he went right into the shower. Yeah, you could have spread in there, for sure. so them wine didn't you need to spread with me? You're gonna have to ask him but I'm not I'm not gonna maybe you'll run into him again And if I do you'd be like you're the spreader. I'm not I'm not I'm waiting till he leaves that steam room

I'm not going back in there with him. I don't like that. Did you go to the sauna afterwards immediately after? I had a cleans my palate Anything cool happened there. I don't think I could think of is it a co-ed? No, I don't know. It's a single head That's good one-ed one-ed just add just one single person Ed one head. Yeah Great have you ever been in a co-ed sauna? No, but I don't need it. Like, they exist, I think. I've never been in one. I don't know. Thomas said when he was traveling, I forgot where he was. He was somewhere in Europe,

and he said that he was in like a steam room or sauna or something. He's like, dude, entire family came in, ass naked. Mom, dad, daughter, child. Well, over there, it's a different culture. Like, that's like parts for them. You know what I mean? Like, oh, okay.

Let's go have fun at the steam room. Yeah, the bathhouse. Yes, we wanted to go out and we wanted to get nice and wet. The bathhouse that I usually go to over here, the fact that you usually go to a bathhouse makes me hate you? I've been there like four times. I hate you.

Just the last time I was dying at it. So, well, because I just, it was like more of like, it came out of nowhere. Don't die. No, no, no. I meant like, I wasn't prepared. So usually, I like hydrate because it's like, one of the rooms in there is hottest fuck and I'm like, I'm maniac and I'm like, I'm gonna sit in here for fucking 20 minutes. What's the hottest one you've been in? It, that one's like 200 degrees. Whoa, I went to 180. I think it's the highest I've been in. Yeah. But like, I went to one that was like it wasn't that high

It was like 140 150 and I stayed in for like 40 minutes. Oh my god, dude Tim when I lived in Milford Tim I would go to an alley fitness over there and we would sit in one and there were the biggest douche bags that would come in And there was this one guy who came in and he was just like I started a company where we go down to Miami party fuck bitches And it's called purple raven Man this sucks. Is it really called purple raven? That's what he called it at the time. Wow. I assume the company has since gone under Because that business model cannot sustain the economic downfall we had in 2020. Well, yeah going down to Miami and fucking bitches And what else were they doing party? Oh, yeah, you know How you how you gonna do that 2020 you lost you lost all, all the form of income.

That actually sounds like a cost money. So, well I'm sure that they, you know, had a deal, they had a partnership with the clubs. He also, he also talked about the cars he drove. It's funny because at the time I remember he was being such a douche and he said he drove the exact car that you drove at the time. Nice.

I was like, that doesn't do well for Joey. No, probably not. But it's all right, you're not a douche. Thanks. Can be if you want to be. Sure. I'm surprised you haven't said something. What would I say?

Well, I posted a picture on Instagram and people just have found it. Welcome back to Keepin' In Frank, ladies and gentlemen, your favorite segment that happens every whenever. That's two of the good things you do, huh? And it is here to spit the facts. It is the only place on the planet where you can get just the facts, just the news, the way it is, raw, unfiltered, uncut, uncircumcised.

And today, boy, listen, I love our fans because they're very kind, they're very generous, you know, they've helped us get over 25,000 patrons moving the right direction, but they also know the call out bullshit when they see it. Bullshit, bullshit, Joey. Yeah, and this week, keep it in frame. I wanna ask you, Joey, let me ask you a question.

You've been working on your confidence lately, right? No. No, you haven't. What does that mean? Well, like, what have you been working on lately in terms of yourself? Your confidence, your anything? No.

Nothing at all? Why are you saying that? So you just think you're so perfect you don't need to work on yourself? That's not what I'm saying. So what are you working on then? I don't know. What do you want to hear?

Just tell me some things. No. Are you working on the way that you treat yourself? Yes. That's very good. You know, that's very good to hear. Because you deserve all the praise and, you know, love that you get in this world. There's a big butt coming. But, but! There it is. You don't need a fish for it, you fucking little dirty whore. What do you mean? You knew exactly what you were doing!

Mr. I don't pose enough pictures. I don't, I don't really don't pose pictures. You just made fun of a med for posting pictures. In the same I got a studio video that we filmed which might be out soon on YouTube, go check it out. I didn't make fun of him. The question was something about Oh, who's the most vain?

Yeah. Any takes a lot of pictures like that. So, let me ask you, do you think you're Vane? What is Vane? Yo, so Vane, ya ballet tank, the song is about you. Yo, so Vane, so Vane. Song's okay. It's really not that great. I don't love it.

Who sings it again? Someone white, carpenter? I think that's the name is ringing a bell in my head. I don't know. Regardless. Do you think you're vain? No. Do you think you fish for compliments? Don't we all, baby? What the fuck was that picture?

Oh, I answered. I just asked my question. I'll say no so then you can, okay, ready? As again. Do you think you fish for compliments? No. Really? Oh, sorry, I was trying to help you. I'll try one more time.

Okay, go. Do you think you fish for compliments? No. So what the fuck was that picture you posted in the elevator, Joey? It was a good picture. That was a really good picture I have to admit. One of the best pictures I was thinking of ever saying

in a minute. You were like the perfect amount of like, whoa, perfect. Listen to what I'm gonna say. You look the perfect amount of like handsome, but like not trying, you know. You look very handsome. I think I could say that. Thank you.

You're a good looking guy. But what the fuck, bitch? Yeah. You knew what you posted. Guess what that became. Well, first of all, I did not know what I posted. No. Because that became the...

You became a heartthrob for gay men in that. Well, officially gay, apparently. Yeah, officially. Oh, he's fucking gay. Well, the caption is now confirmed. Keeping it frank has the breaking news here. Here's the scoop confirmed. Joe Sanogato, big time bottom.

Yeah. Meet T.B. baby. I was in my elevator and I took a picture because I was feeling myself and I was going down in the elevator and I was like I don't know what to caption this and apparently I saw a down arrow I was like I'm just gonna put it a down arrow. Yeah, and then often used in the game and fucking grab that Through it in their sack and started running what else what else is in their sack fucking god knows what bunch of Kelly Clarkson DVDs Which I'm a big Kelly DVDs. Yeah, you mean CDs whatever Different things, but anyway, yeah, they started running thing all the gay dudes were like oh confirm he's a bottom or some

Gadoos are like I didn't take you for a bottom Well, I love no one saying this I was like I'm going down in an elevator and you were going down on a guy named Ellie and Vader I'm really glad you laughed because if you didn't laugh there. I would have been left out McCold I was trying not to okay. I you knew what you were doing there you you I didn't make that caption people like people are gonna think I'm a bottom Joey You can't think you're your big gay your big gay Joe to the internet. Who's big gay? You are, dude. No I'm not. You're big gay Joe, the gays love us really into you. Especially when you're posting just mustache

with a bottom going going down to to that's what you were That's something you were a sailor you were a fucking I was a sailor you were a sailor. You were a fucking... I was a sailor. You were a sailor in that picture. Going down to... You knew what you were doing. I didn't.

And it's okay. We all loved... It worked out, though. We all appreciate love and adoration from the people in our lives. Some of us want it from men that say that they want to like blow steam in your ass hole or something I don't know what the guys do anymore. They don't do that. I don't know. I think they just have sex

Well, is that I feel like they blow steam. I don't know. How could that even be a guess of yours? I Don't know. Yeah, I know. I didn't read all the comments because I started to get scared. Did you turn them off? No, oh you left them there Just so you can read the ones that you like. No, I wow. This is very vain and honestly you knew what you were doing Posting that down arrow and listen, I want you to know something seriously. Uh-huh No matter what you do with your life I will love and support you to the day that I die and if you're gay and you decide to be a bottom I'll have a lot of questions, but I will still be very much so in love with you.

I will have a lot of questions though. What's your first question? Wow. Well, unfortunately, I don't think I will be becoming a bottom or a gay. Well, according to the Instagram, it's saying the opposite and that's being me keeping it. Frank. Frank, don that's been me keeping it. Frank. Frank, don't you fucking cut me off.

I'm sorry. That's my side off. Do it again, do it again. Okay. Well, see, now I'm not feeling it. Now, it's all about, this is showbiz, baby. Okay, all right, you're right. You're right, it is showbiz.

Here we go, baby. This is showbiz, baby. You know what, you knew what you were doing there. Yeah. And I'm gonna charge you with two counts of trying a thirst trap to gaze. And I don't care what you say, that's what happened. And I'm just keeping it cut. We had brains called gay baiting. It's called gay baiting.

There's an actual word for it. Yeah, would you say, baiting to gaze? No, no, it's gay baiting. Gay baiting, all right, can I try again? Or baiting, gay? I don't know. Gay baiting, it's gay baiting. All right, I'm gonna try one more time. No, no, it's gay baiting. Gay baiting. All right. Can I try again or baiting gay? I don't know gay baiting. It's gay baiting. All right. I'm gonna try one more time. Okay. Hold on I'm massage my jaw No, Joey, you knew what you were doing at Josh edit this. Well now I need to redo it again. No, don't edit it. Okay, here we go

Okay, here we go. No. Pfft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry. Here we are. Josh, you want me to leave you in? Yeah, if you don't mind. I don't know what to say.

You're gay. I'm not. Are you sure though, Joey? Because according to Instagram and the internet, you were doing a little bit of gay baiting. And I'm not gonna say I, you know, I agree with the image that you were putting out there that you're at bottom, but you know me,

I just have to keep it frank. Those are apps, those are beautiful. I didn't know what you were doing. I was like, that's an app, Joey, this is it. Yeah, but the other one isn't. Is that like phase clan, dude? It's a game. It's kids a gamer.

I am a gamer. That's... Frank. Got it. Keeping it frank, baby. Okay. Were you afraid of throwing up some other... No, I just didn't know what you were... Interesting. The moment a Spanishman picks up his hands in front of you, you think it's a gang sign.

No one thought that. That's what you just said right now. I was more curious as to what you were trying to create with your hand. I created an F, Joey. You ready to tell me it doesn't look like an F? It does. If I turn it that way. We're all backwards.

That F. Look at that. That's a good F, right folks? F for folks. We should probably take five. I know. And that's it. Do you know how hot it is in here guys. It's pretty hot in here. And I'm wearing two shirts.

I'm getting. Yeah, he's wearing my shirts. Okay, we do have some sponsors for today. We love our sponsors. That we do, baby. We do love them. The first, I mean, if I knew my passwords, my laptop, that would be delicious.

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So you save in for 30 months, basically, here. Go to hellofresh.com slash 50 basement and use the code 50 basement for 50% off plus 15% off the next two months. Okay, get to it. You know what else you can get to? Of more of us. No, I guess that doesn't work.

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And we want to keep growing, baby. And we can do that with your help. Patreon.com, size to the base from the United Senate for that first year. Well, these weekly episodes, you get them one week in advance. So you get in on all the conversation. You can tag us in things and, you know, tweet at us and just comment on things

and just know exactly what we're thinking a week before everybody else. And then that next year, well, that's where you get those exclusive, extravagant, extraordinary episodes of the Basement Yard, which are a little more insane. So you could start and end your week with the Basement Yard, weekly episode, a week in advance on Monday, Patreon exclusive on Friday. So go check it out, patreon.com, slash the Basement Yard. Thank you folks, I'm so excited.

I'm so ready, I'm so appreciative. Oh my God, Joey, back to you. Hi, Frank. By the way, I just thought of what this episode, the thumbnail could be, is Joe a bottom? No, no, please. Yeah, Manu. No, that's, that's, that's,

Manu. That's not gay bathing. That's not gay bathing. We just went over this. You did it, I kept it, Frank. You did it. I didn't know I'd get. Yes, you did. No, I taught you the term. No, went over this. You did it. I kept it frank. You did it. I didn't know I did. Yes, you did.

No, I taught you the term. No, you didn't teach me the term, but I knew the idea. This is, you know, parallel thought right now. I knew it. You taught it to me. No. Anyway, you were telling me before I wanted to talk about it, the fucking tech billionaire who once said, we didn't have the hard dick or something.

Yeah, so there's a tech billionaire who we I think we previously talked about yeah the guy I guess a blood transfusion He wants to inject himself with his son's blood. He does it to yeah to stay younger which Have you seen this guy he looks weird? He does look weird But that's because he's a tech billionaire weirdo that's injecting himself with his son's blood could be could be worse What's the worst way to ingest blood inject drink drink boof injecting himself with his son's blood. Could be. Could be worse. What's the worst way to ingest blood? Inject. Drink. Drink.

Boof. Drink. Drink is worse, right? I gotta taste it. Oh, it's just a little bit more. It's like, that's the way it's like. I gotta taste it. Oh, it's just a little bit more.

It's like, that's the way it's like. That's the way it's like. That's the way it's like. That's the way it's like. Yeah. You'd rather be in your ass than drink it. I guess. What if someone boofed it and deliquid in your butt?

What? I just like blacked out first. Yeah, it's okay. But yeah, so his new study, because this guy's obsessed with wanting to feel young. He is... He wants to reverse aging. He wants to reverse aging and he wants to, he's working at maintaining a three and a half hour erection.

Wait, what? Yes. So that I didn't know. Yeah, so he says, according to him, you're gonna have to look this up so you get one more. He wants to have a three hour bone. He wants to, apparently, 18 year olds, which why do you know the boners of 18 year olds?

Our eighties. Our eighties. It's not his 18, I think. Still weird. Even weirder, someone would argue. Yeah. Uh, I have to, they can maintain a boner through the night for three and a half hours. So he's timing the amount of time he sleeps with a boner.

Wait, you sleep in the middle of the night? Hard. Sometimes some people do. You think you just wake up and then you're like, I'm going to get hard right now. I don't, I feel like I don't wake up. You wake up fully erect. Sometimes, because my, a lot of the times, because my dick is soaked in PP.

Huh? What? I said, what are you saying? When I have to pee a lot, my pee pee becomes engorged with pee. No? Am I the only person on the planet? Yours doesn't? When you have to pee, you're hard.

So, I'm a ribeye state, you know what I'm saying? I have no idea. I'm like, I'm like on my way. I've driven past the house I'm trying to get to and I need to come back, you know what I'm saying? Frankie, that's not an expression. Nor does I even know how to interpret it regarding this. But you're on your way to hard.

You're more than half-chub. You're Nick Chub. Okay. So you wake up with a hard dick because you have to piss. Well, it's, there's pee in there. There's, let me actually another question. Are you waking up a lot to pee? Maybe once, maybe twice, depending on how much liquid I drink that day.

Like, before bed, I usually drink a big ol' fattle cup of apple cider vinegar with water. Really, Yeah. And then I drink a big ol' faddle tea, normally herbal that I make for myself. So that's a lot of liquid to hold on to. I never wake up in the night. Yeah, well, I also wake up multiple times because I have a streaming fucking seven month old

who just is just ruthless. You just put it outside. The pee or the seven month old? The seven month old. Yeah, who just is just ruthless? You just put it outside. The pee or the 7 month old? The 7 month old. I thought about that. Just build a nest. It's a little too hot right now. But birds do it. Yeah, and birds never die. They're covered in feathers, so it's even hotter for them. I don't think that's how that works. It is. I don't think so. And no, I'm not Joey. I'm not putting my seven month old. I'm not putting my seven month old daughter outside to sleep for the night.

All right, just a suggestion. Yeah. How about this? How about Uncle Joey comes over? Yeah, and you hang out with her from the hours of 8 p.m. until 8 a.m. Would you allow me to do that? Yes.

Okay. Oh yeah. And you let us sleep? Yeah, oh, okay now, now I like this. You're a bad parent, I just told you to put, I just told you to put, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. I just told you to hurt. Okay, I just told you I was gonna put, you should put your kid outside.

Then you went, do you wanna watch her? I said yeah, then you're like, yeah, you're gonna trust the guy who's gonna put your baby outside First of all I trust you with my life and that includes my children. So yes, I trust you second of all You don't have the heart to do that to a child Joey you are such a soft little bitch as it is I am I am when you become a parent Joey. Nope. Don't it is is going to be like, I am going to videotape you. Actually, no need. We're probably just... We're doing it right now. Yeah.

I am going to be so excited because your world, it's gonna, bro, I am a different person from when I was not a parent. Now it's just completely different. You're gonna be such a fucking little like, you're gonna be like, ooh black. When people poke, you're gonna be such a fucking like little like you're gonna be like Ublek when people poke you're gonna be like I'm an on Newtonian But but but but but but but and then they like all you like boom

That's what you're gonna be Ublek. Yeah Remember that so what were you talking about the guy wants to have a three and a half hour bonzi bone What's the point of that to have sex with it or just to have one? I think he's just like obsessed with making himself Be of a younger man. He's a three hour bony. It's pointless sex with it or just to have one. I think he's just like obsessed with making himself be of a younger man. Who needs a three hour bony? It's pointless.

Yeah, like I just don't get it. What's the longest you've had a boner without doing anything with it? I'd say like 25 minutes. Oh, no, probably longer than that. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you know, like in the morning

and you're like too lazy to get out of bed So it's like you'll just she's keep a boner there for. Yeah I'm like you just have a loaded gun. It goes through phases of how hard this thing actually is all right walk me through phase one Phase one usually is the hardest one. Okay, face two Then it's like, you know, it's whatever but in the morning to like something you sleep your hand your pants No, do you sleep yeah You sleep with your hand in your pants for what just in case you have to jerk off in the middle of the night no No

People normally sleep with their hand under their pillow with like a gun there you hold your fucking weapon in your hand What normal people don't do that for yes They do people that are most people that just sleep with their hand on a gun under their pillow. What are you talking about? Not all- I'm not saying most people that sleep. I'm just saying like people that sleep holding onto something. They hold a weapon because they're afraid. Not their fucking, you know, they're Johnny two times.

Dude, tons of people do that. Never heard of that in my life. You've never like sat on the couch and just had your hand in your pants? I've sat in the couch and had my hand on my pants. But I don't go to sleep and sleep through the night. I feel like that'd be like being in a straight jacket. I don't put both my hands in and tie them to my wall.

No, but so one, what happens if something happens in the middle of the night that you need both hands for? No, but you get caught. You need to take it out quick, you're fucking stuck in there, and then you're trying to find your way out of the forest. Okay, do you sleep like this? No, no. What are you worried about?

No, but both my hands are not going to get caught on anything. They'll get caught on the elastic of your pants. This isn't a fucking Rubik's cube, it's just pants. No, I don't know about that. It shorts. Boxers, where are you sleeping? It depends. Oh my god, just answer.

But it's not. Sometimes I sleep in my boxers or sometimes I sleep in shorts, sometimes I sleep in sweatpants, sometimes I sleep in jeans. What's the issue? You don't sleep in jeans. You sleep in sweatpants, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Do you sleep with a shirt?

Sometimes. Oh! You sleep with a shirt on? Sometimes, yeah. You need to understand something. You remember how I've, in another, in a previous recording on a Patreon episode, I said how much I disdain sleeping in the cold? I married a woman who loves the cold.

Bro, I can't sleep with a shirt on. I can't, I can't, I sleep with a shirt on. I sleep with pants on, sometimes socks on. It's not that big of a deal. If I went to sleep in pants and socks, I would wake up in a puddle. Yeah. No, I regulate my body temperature because I am a healthy male, not someone who sits there and ignores the fact that he drinks too much.

I can't really defend myself. You can't. You can't. I feel like Adam's sucks, by the way. Yeah, it's yours. I know I love it. That's why. On me, it's great. I knew it sucks.

Got it. I can't wait. I feel like Adam's sandwich. I can't believe you sleep with your hand in your pants. I don't always sleep with it, but sometimes I sleep with my hand like that. Where do you normally put your hands if they're not in your pants?

Cool guy. You want probably one up and one down? Face down or? What? No, I'm back. Hold on. You sleep like this? Sometimes, yeah.

You're seeing now how stupid that looks, right? It looks like a model. You're seeing how dumb that looks, right? Not dumb. Are you seeing? I'm looking at you. How dumb this looks. That's, yeah, I think, dude, that's a normal sleep.

That's stupid. Or I sleep on my, uh, right shoulder. My right shoulder. I sleep on my right shoulder and I have this leg come up. So I could like stretch my hip kinda. So yeah, you're doing like a back, like one of those stretches that like cryropractors on TikTok do.

Where they're like, turn, boom. Yeah, they're like just breathing in, farts and like breaks your spine. Yeah. Yeah, I'll sleep like that and I'll have like this arm just like chilling and this wanna be under the pillow maybe, but then my arm gets tired. Yo, when I wake up at the middle of the night,

and my arm is dead, bro, I love it. I hate that. What? I hang it off of the bed. Well, first I play around with my arm. I look at it, and I like watch it, and I'm like, I'm thinking of moving it,

but it's not moving, and it's freaking me out. I don't do that. So when I wake up at the middle of the night, and my arm is dead, I just like, I start swinging. I see how much I can do, because usually I have like this part, but I can't at this one I don't do that. So when I wake up in the middle of the night and my arm is dead, I just like, I start swinging. I see how much I can do. Cause usually I have like this part, but I can't at this one I don't. And then eventually when I get tired of playing with my arm,

I hang it off the side of the bed. And you could feel all the blood rushing to your fingers. And like the entire time, like I'll hang it off and I'll try to move my fingers, but I can't. Cause I got no blood. Yup. And then slowly you get the feeling back and you could start moving. Yeah, I hate that feeling so much. I really, really I got no blood. Yep. And then slowly you get the feeling back. Can you get started?

Yeah, I hate that feeling so much. I really, really, really dislike it. I like it. I don't. I just, I stare at it and I say to myself, like, I'm trying to move my fingers and I can. And then I touch them and it feels like on this hand, it just feels like a big old faddle, like Kinepa or something.

And then on the other side. You don't know what a Kinepa is? It's a fruit. I believe it's mostly in Southern Central America, Caribbean. It looks like a little grape. This is going to sound like an insensitive question, but it's a legit question.

Have you ever been on the BQE, George Washington, or whatever, and you see there, like mostly Hispanic men and women selling fruit in the middle of the road? You ever see they have a bag and it's like little green? They look like grapes? No, it's like little green, they look like grapes. No, it's usually Gatorade's. Those are in oranges.

Well, there are those. And Italian Isis. Those are called, those are called Kinepas. And what you do is you bite the outer shell and it cracks and it like opens. And then the inside is like a little ball of gel. And it's like hairy gel. Yeah, that doesn't sound good.

It sounds gross, delicious. It sounds like a reverse kiwi. But the texture is very different because kiwis are kind of like, there's more consistency to them. This is like, if you would have suck it and pull it out out it would look like Remember in Lion King when Sarabi licks

Young Simba and his hair like points in that direction. Yes. That's what it looks like It looks like lions hair. I don't know how to explain. Oh, I don't Frankie. Please I'm not gonna look it up because you've already told me and off on and off camera that you don't like when I do it Because it's 20 minutes of you trying to find something I can find it and I swear to God you can count to 15 and I'll find it Tell me when that's long I can count to 10 nope five One wait, well now you get it three. No now you gotta do or five. I didn't even get my phone out All right, so it again ready got one two three four

and I have got I spelled it wrong, but it knew what I was trying to say I'm see Where's this again? Is it good? We're good. We're good. Okay. It's called a Kinepa Kinepa They're really good. She got them. Oh, cute. Got it.

Oh wow, these look good. They're really good. They're a good little snack. So, where is the lion's hair in this? When you suck it, and you pull it out of your mouth, it's like little hairs in it.

Yeah. It's like fiber. Okay. Is it good?, it's like little hairs in it. Yeah. It's like fiber. Okay. Is it good? Was it taste like? It's like a little citrusy, you know, a little sweet, a little sour. They call it a Spanish lime.

So imagine a very sweet lime. I like that. Yeah. It's pretty good. That's what I'm saying. So yeah, this weirdo freak wants to have a three and a half hour deal though. Nope.

He wants to have a three and a half hour deal though. No, no, no, it does not. Imagine deal-dowing for three and a half hours. I'm sure. OPL, man, you can find someone that's done that. Definitely, definitely. What's the longest sexual experience you've ever had? Not three and a half hours, right?

What? Yeah, well, that's what I'm Not three and a half hours, right? What? Yeah, well that's what I'm asking. No way. Yeah, that's crazy. I don't even know. That wouldn't be fun. I'd feel like work at that point in time. Like when's my fucking, you know, union mandated 15?

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It's like that. It breathes well. Open a button. Open it. You just sounded like Mickey Mouse, my guy. Open a button, huh? It's exactly how you sounded. Open it up.

Open it up. I wrote something down. Oh, boy. You wrote something down. Oh. Oh, boy, wrote something down? Oh boy what? Uh oh. No. Had nothing to do with whatever. But um, you did tell a story before we started the episode about a vegan mom. Yeah, so there is a mother in Australia who is under some Australian scrutiny. You know, all those fucking don't say it because I like Australians.

Do you? Yes. Name three. Steve Irwin. Joey. Don't, don't, don't. Steve Irwin's son. Don't make me, okay, but that doesn't count.

You can't, don't make me be the bad guy here, Joey. Why can't I think of an Australian, right? Name a current Australian. a current Australian a current off living Chris Hemsworth that is a good one Don't you dare go right to his brother? I knew you were gonna do that. There's another one too Isn't it yeah, what's his name Luke boom? No give me come on Chris Hemsworth. Buh. Buh.

You're missing a big one here. Uh, come on, I can name it. No, now I'm just on the spot. Like, I know Australians. Um, give me a letter. And, no.

Okay. I don't know. Nicole Kidman. She's Australian. Where have you been? Did, what the fuck? She's notman. She's Australian. Where have you been? Did what the fuck? She's not Australian. Yeah, she is Joey. I refuse you don't have to I also Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman. Yeah, that's a good one right there. Maybe if your brain worked you'd know that one There's a lot of Australians that are great. I like Australians. I you know, it seems like a wild place, dude

I like I like Australians. Yeah. What would she do with this Australian mom? So, this Australian mom, who is a pretty aggressive vegan, is refusing to kill the license her daughter's hair. And even vegans, like this is given vegans a bad name. You know, like those, Frankie doesn't like vegans, and he doesn't like Australians.

Oh, there was a girl, no, no, don't move on. I'm fine with vegans. I have nothing against vegans. Australians, I don't know where I stand on them. Never mind. Wow, he doesn't like Australians. Oh, there was a girl. No, no, no, don't move on. I'm fine with vegans. I have nothing against vegans. Australians, I don't know where I stand on them. Nevermind. Wow, that's kind of crazy. I met a couple personally. How dare you?

I dated a girl online for like a month, her, she was from Australia. What year was this? 2003, four, five, around that. Had to have been like. It was a man, you were probably dating. No, no, no, actual woman. And we reconnected years later.

Bullshit. I think I still follow her on Instagram. Bullshit. This is not real. She has a child. That's what I got. What was this? This was mad long ago. I, we didn't date. I'm joking. But like, obviously. But we would like talk all the time on Skype.

What would you talk about? You'd be like, how's the weather up there? I just thought she was really cute. And we were like, talking. I forgot how we met. That's weird. Imagine if you would sense me like, I'm going to run away with the love of my life in Australia

I'd say Well, no, I never progressed to that but like we did talk frequently the kid yours The kid isn't I've never met this person in my entire life. Oh, okay. Well, the kid or the mom? Both Frank. Oh, okay You thought I met the kid without the mom I had things happen, you know? No, thinking. That must stash, you can say a bunch of different stuff, Joey. I forget her name.

But she's very good. Don't pretend like you would say it here on the show. I would say her name, I don't give a fuck. First and last. I don't know her last name, definitely. Phone number, Instagram handle. Give it all right now. Definitely don't have any of that.

I'm lying bitch. I do follow her on Instagram. I don't know who it is. You're lying bitch. Actually, I don't know if I do it. But yeah, so she's a bunch of like real vegans. I guess she is a really real vegan But like they're like what the fuck is wrong with you? Which this is ridiculous. Do you remember the big lice like when we were kids?

How big lice was of a problem? I hated that it was like oh, it's a lice day and it was like a one-by-one You got called down to do that fucking check with the fine call. Is that actually a thing because like yeah, yeah, of course it is. I know but like it would just be the nurse who would do it. And it's just the woman who's always there in the school with a stick now. You know what I mean? Do the schools not have nurses anymore? No, they do.

Who do you mean the person that's always there with a stick? Because I would think that there would be some sort of a life specialist would know how to look for life. It's not like a school nurse would be trained on life. Joey, they're life. You don't need to be fucking trained on looking for a bug in someone's hair. Really? Yeah, how stupid are you? Are they I thought they were small. Yeah, but you could see them with your eyes, Joey. Yeah. Yeah. And you remember they would tell us they'd be like they really like really clean really clean hair so don't wash your hair more than like twice a week They would say that yeah, how often do you put shampoo in your hair?

Once every like eight or nine days. Oh, wow. Yeah, I washed my washing condition my hair like once every eight nine ten days Wow, yeah, you don't want to do it too much. You get rid of the oils in your hair. Tell me you do it every day It's definitely not okay You don't want to do it too much. You get rid of the oils in your hair. Tell me you do it every day. Definitely not. Okay. Uh, I don't know. Dude, one last thing to do in there. I'm in and out of the shower. Yeah? 10 minutes.

Maybe. What are you doing in there? Showering my body? You sure? You're not fucking sitting there and going to meet Uncle Jack, you know what I'm saying? I'm jerk off in the shower. I don't know what you freaks do. You freaks?

Who? Damn right. Oh Oh you guys who masturbate? You're a weird one. No, I'm just saying that you're a freak. Fuck you don't don't you know it's my it's a trigger when you point at me Joey don't Don't you fucking got almighty? I can sometimes I actually don't though. I love you all the time But for the sake of the show I hate you got it This woman's taking it too far. We can agree on that, right? Yeah, why should not it's not meat It's a fucking it's an animal though. That's that's her Avigans like pita I think I think it's like frogs and toads Joey all pita are vegans, but not all vegans are pita

I don't think that's true. I do. I do. Oh, maybe if you work for pita and they if you work for PETA and they find out you eat meat They'll probably bring you act behind the fucking barn and put two in your head really I would assume so Do you think they do like drug testing? But it's really for burger meat. Yeah There's like we've developed a test to see if you've had McDonald's in the last year. Yeah, oh That's gotta be such a like PETA is pretty crazy. I don't know, I don't-

Oh! They messaged me. Get the fuck out of here. They DM'd me. Are they mad at us? Why did they DM me? Um, I don't know, Joey. Why did they DM you?

It was something about animals. Well, that's pretty ugly, I wish. Yeah, I would say. How do I search for like because they were verified and I was like I'm not even gonna read this shit. You can search in the where do they DM you? Instagram. You can oh I'll go to top requests. Oh my god. That's not them. Oh my god. Oh also who the fuck is this? I don't know, Joe, I can't see what you're seeing. I, oh, the aquarium in Mystic Connecticut. Nice!

Yeah, I'm to me. What did they say? Okay, here's how, we're not Copenhagen, but we are having an influencer night on August 26, and you guys should come. Influencer night, I'd rather be tracked by horses. Yeah, sorry, if you would just said we're having from, come, like, come,

we'll open it for you. Yeah. If once or nights sounds like I would rather be dragged by horses, but this sounds cool. They have a penguin meet and greet. Hello! At the Mystic Aquarium? You're a bin? No.

I have been, buy it. I haven't been in it. Great, great. Just cool. Apparently, it's a great aquarium also a family of lipstick can't find it. Oh, is it in partnerships? I don't even know what this is. I don't know bro. Can't find it come on go to PETA and then check messages with them Oh Joey PETA I need to know what they were madness for they weren't mad. Oh, they were supporting us. I don't I don't I don't want this. I don don't want to be happy with us.

Oh, there's something about oh never mind. This is nothing to do with the show. They were messaging me because they were like they're raising awareness for like the horse carriages and that. Okay, okay, okay. Which I feel bad for those horses, but I also want to ride it. What? Ride a horse? No, like being the carriage. Oh, but I don't. They're raising awareness for horses? Yeah, like band horse carriages. We're aware. Yeah, so it's like, wait, oh, there was a dog, not a dog, a horse.

That like passed out, collapsed on a busy MIC street. Oh, those horses. I thought you meant in like around the world. I was gonna say, aren't there like villages and places around the world that like rely on horse carriage? Like transport goods? Homage people. Yeah, but they're like fake ones though.

No, no, no, I've seen, I've seen- I've seen the Amish too, Joey. I've seen it with my eyes. No, I've seen. You haven't seen when I've seen. They also have cocktails and mocktails. Where's this? Ha ha ha.

Bowery. Bowery? Bowery? What is that. Where's this? Bowry. Bowry? Bowry? What is that? It's on Bowry. Like I know what the street is, but what is- Not gonna give the fucking address. We're doing a whole thing here. I don't know what your reference- Oh, it's Pita. Pita, bro. They have cocktails. Pita's having cocktails. Wait a sec. They can drink, bro. What do you think they're just fucking like? I't know? I assume that Peter are like you know like it's like a cult It's not gonna be you know the cocktail is not made out of fucking if they had a sense of humor their cocktails would have painted it And it'd be like for your fucking horror meat eating throat You know how I throw paint on everything. Yeah, they do not they do they is that them? Yeah, I don't know

Who do you think it is? Just like radicals, not PETA. Well, I think PETA's just like, I brought you to the brook, Joey. Now just go a little farther and drink. Do you think PETA is radical? There are, I'm sure there's like, there are people like that. That apples, as we like to say.

Oh god, don't do this. There are some bad apples over here. There are people that are pretty aggressive. Bro, if you're so vegan or pita that you can't kill a lice, give me a break. Dude, you're not, you're doing it for attention. That's, let's be very clear about that. You can't help your daughter get rid of her lice

because you're really... No, she said that she would get rid of the matter of her daughter's hair, but she would leave them in her garden. And it's like, that sucks way more. Where do you think they're gonna end up tomorrow? Yeah, yeah. When have you known Lice to be like, you know what? Hmm, a white girl's head or a cucumber.

They're gonna make a clear choice there. Yeah, just Suzanne. White girl's head every time. Yeah, come on, don't be dumb. These Lice want that Becky, that's all they want. If you want, if you want if you If you want to be nice to the fucking lice put them on your own head Or put them on like you know real environment. Yeah, you want oh, yeah, you don't want to kill them Put a lice eat put them on your scalp. I think they eat dry skin and your scalp and shit like that

I could use that I you know I have sometimes I just have a lot of dandruff. Yeah, so gross. Didn't know you were gonna just talk about that on the podcast. Why is that, was that, was that, was that, I don't know. Do you use head and shoulders? I have in the past, yeah. Does it work?

It works, definitely. Really? Yeah, like I don't use it all the time because it like makes my head feel like, like it's, yeah, cause it's like, it has like menthol in it. Exactly, so like I use it like, maybe twice. And then I I'm like okay, and it goes away, but then it comes back I've never I've never used it. I think it's just like a thing my mom told me I had a lot of cradle cap as a kid

That's everyone has cradle crap cradle cap I it's a thing crafts in the cradle like you well no technically everyone does crap in their cradle probably because they were all babies Yeah, do you hate when your kids fart their cradle, probably. Because they were all babies. Yeah. Do you hate when your kids fart? No, I think it's funny and cute. What age is it gonna be like, enough of that? Honestly, Ruby has another year. How old's your daughter?

Ruby? Two and a half. Three and a half? Quit it with the Farts, Ruby. Ha! Like now, she'll be like reading a book and then she'll fart and she'll literally just go and she'll look back and it's funny and I'm like Ruby and I call her a big time farder.

She's a big time farder. It was funny one day she was doing that and she farted and I go Ruby did you fart and she goes hey she does the poly from the soprano's laugh she goes hey and I go Ruby you're a farting girl and she turned around she does the poly from Mr. Prano's laugh. She goes, hey, and I go, Ruby, you're a farting girl. And she turned around and she went, no. Oh shit. So, you know, just because you're fart, you're not a farting girl. Yeah, she started, she was like, say that shit again.

She would have swung on me if I gave her the shot. That was crazy. You know, but yeah, this woman with this lice sucks, dude. Yeah, dude, don't be so vegan or pita that you can't help your child. Oh, yeah Eat the lice. That's what I would do How's that gonna help them? I would piss her off now

I'm now I want to make it my missing a mission to pisses me off Monkeys do that they eat lice off each other. I think they eat bugs off each other I don't know about lice but definitely bugs the last time I went to the zoo. I saw Monkeys doing that it was so cool Because you're like these aren't real. You ever look at a monkey, dude. You're like, you're not a thing. You're not real.

This is animatronic. All the time, dude. I do it to my dog. So I can't imagine like a thing that's going to walk around and be like human. Dude, have you seen the bears in China? Pandas? No.

There's a zoo in China that has just like opened up an exhibit for, I think they're called sun bears and they stand up on hind legs and walk like humans to the end and China had a release a statement saying these are not humans and outfits. These are actual bears Please look it up. You will not be upset for doing this. I'm telling you the first time I saw it I was like there's no way this is a bear dude. It's so dangerous for me. Am I looking at like a video or something? Just look up China Sun Bear. Sun like my son or the Sun? No, in the sky. China Sun Bear. And see, look at the pictures.

China, Chinese Zoo denies its sun bears. What? Right dude? How crazy. These things are just standing up, and they do, this is insane. They're just standing up and walking. They look like humans that with bad posture, and they like talk.

They'll be like, oh, I'm right. You know how bears be. Bears, am'm right. You know how, you know how bears be? Bears, am I right folks? Bears be talking. Bears be talking that talk. Ladies be shopping, bears be talking. Ladies be shopping. 28 second ad, get the fuck out.

Bro, YouTube, what did he become, dude? Ever since my guy Joe stopped making it everything. You built up YouTube. And ever since you were like, I don't need you as much anymore I mean this is on YouTube so Talk about there was a video once that I saw I mean the one recently that we talked about where the mom was Waving but there's a famous one where like people are like a school bus or something and they're driving to the woods And there's like multiple bears

Standing up and like walking around and waving and shit, and I'm like, I'm serious, pull over. I'm serious, come on. You really would, like you would be, you know what, you would be dead. You know how fucking stupid I am? I, when it comes to animals, don't answer that. When it comes to animals, sometimes I'll see like a vicious dog,

like a dog at the dog park that people don't like. And you like I can save it. No, I just stare it and I just go like this dog will not fuck with me because you have because we have something. You have something that's like a connection. Yeah, like it knows that I have like a connection to animals or something. And like I believe that like that's how stupid I am. Well, you are. Yeah. A bear weighs at me. I'm gonna be like, it's accepting me as one of their own. I don't think a bear is ever going to do anything to you.

Besides Molly, you. Also, keep me the fuck away from pandas. Yeah, okay. Because I'm big on pandas right now. If I saw one, I'm tackling it. What's going on right now that you're big in pandas. It's like trending up for me like it's like my favorite animal right now Why because I'm just into pandas. Okay watching a lot of pandas content. You know what? It's funny people often talk about me is like having these insane Animal takes you're sitting I'm sitting here saying like yeah

I could probably fucking fight a giraffe and win and you're sitting here saying are you insane? I'm gonna hug a grizzly Frankie. I'm saying that knowing that it's going to end badly You think that you can fight a giraffe? Pro it's one giant throat all you have to do is just hug it like it's a fucking banana tree and choked if I gave you weapons You couldn't beat a giraffe bet You there's no way we can settle this, but fucking, what do you mean weapons? Look at all the people that go into fucking,

you know, you just get in there. Africa and they hunt giraffe. If you go to it, with guns. Yeah, that's a weapon. Alright, give me, honestly, give me a machete, brass knuckles. I hope Pete is not watching or listening. Brass knuckles.

Or, I hope, we're gonna punch it in the face. Punch it in the throat. Beat the throat into mashed potatoes. Okay Frank, now you've gone on the deep end. There's a exhibit at the Bronx Zoo where you can feed giraffes. Oh I also grab that stupid ass gray tongue of theirs and yank that bitch out. No you won't.

First of all, our tongue is like the strongest fucking muscle in our bodies. By ratio. Is that true? Yes. Okay. It's not like, hold on, you think your tongue is stronger than like your fucking quads? By like, if your tongue was the same size of your quads, you could lift like fucking 800 pounds.

I know, it's like ants. You know, I mean like ants are super strong but it's because they're so tiny. Well, that's not why they're so strong. They're strong animals, but yeah, yeah, they're there's a per capita strength Yeah, is they can lift 10 times their own body weight if your tongue was the size of your biceps you'd be able to curl a car But you can't and it isn't got a strong tongue. What can I say but your abs can't have that strong of a tongue? I mean, I don't know, but you can go there and you could see big these fucking things are. Yeah, you wouldn't even be able to choke it Oh, and then here comes Joey I am going to see you bear and hug it and it'll love me and I'll stare it in the eyes that we have a connection

I do think that stupid I can acknowledge that you're stupid. Yes, okay do it again Yep, say I am stupid again. No, cuz now you're bullying me I'm not. I'm not. Don't do that. Alright, well, it's good. It's too hot here. Let's just fucking end this. There's a little hot. Yeah, Frank, where can they find you? FHL. Ver is 885 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on Instagram and all other forms of social media. And then go check out Patreon, Patreon.com slash the base of your yard. Thank you for getting us over 25,000. For those of you guys that don't know, we are in the process of digitizing some of our earliest

fans, and oldest fans will know of something called the 48 Street Files. Here are the first videos Joey and I had recorded when we started doing this stuff, literally 15 years ago. So maybe even longer than that. So thank you for 25,000. We are going to have those up whenever we can for you guys. And go check it out, patreon.com slash the basement yard.

Joe, did I say 15,000? Thank you for that too. I meant 25. Yeah. You guys can go follow me at Joe's Santa God. I'll go follow the show at the basement yard and take talking to Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.

I'm sure it's so sucky. Thank you.