The Basement Yard - #415 - The Worst Catfish Of All Time!

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

This catfish is hilarious and heart breaking! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the bass man. You are Frank. How's it going buddy? That's the guitar. I can see that. That's the guitar. That's not how you play it though. Besides piano, any instruments you want to learn? Guitar would be fun. Yeah, but like then you'd be like one of those like typical like douchebag white guys. You just play like Wonder Wall and like free fallen. Probably. What would be the difference between Wall and like free fallen. Probably. What would be the difference between you and like John Mayer? Not much.

Probably a whole couple bucks. I'm gonna go a couple bucks. Couple bucks, I would say. He's not big. What? He's just John Mayer. He's that way, the song Daughters, what are the songs?

Frankie, I went to his concert at MSC, it was sold out. Bro, that's 19,000 people. Okay, what does that mean? That he did a whole weekend there and sold out LL shows. It's got a couple of blocks. I don't like his stupid face when he sings though. I love my love, sing it till I die.

Don't ever, don't ever, don't ever. He sounds like Jennifer Coolidge. Kind of. If it, like, that would be his mom. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Time learn piano, but I have no downtime right now. Oh Frank. Yeah, I've time though. The fucking do I bitch? Joey, I can't oh my god. You do I can't wait until you have kids. I really don't you can make some time I'm sure I can make time but like right now my fucking I want to bash my head against wall because my daughter won't sleep I know lots of people have kids and all sleep Oh, and they are picking up and learning piano at age 31 Lots of people, lots of kids and all sleep! Oh, and they are picking up at learning piano at age 31.

Fuckin' come on Joey. You take some lessons, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Will you teach me? I don't, I can't. Joey in his apartment, I went for the first time a couple weeks ago. He has a keyboard, which you spent money on, that face, I had that for a year. Okay, but you did spend money on it. Yeah.

Facing this, like the Manhattan skyline, and it's not plugged in. It's just there. I don't know where the plug is. So can I ask you a question? Why have it? So here's what. Why have it if you don't know where the plug is?

Going to explain. I have had that for like seven years. And the plug, guess it got lost in the move, because I was like, oh, whatever. So I look in the back and I look at what the fucking plug is. So I go, okay, and I order one off of Amazon. Doesn't work.

I go, so I get a different plug. And now I get a bunch of adapters. Oh, you do the adapting game. None of them fit. So here we go. And then I did it again, because I was like, maybe it's me. It is you.

And then I bought another one and it didn't work. And I'm like, what the fuck? So here, what was that? Two months ago, okay throw that thing in the fucking trash Joey throwing a whole keyboard in the trash You psycho you don't have the adapter for it. You don't have the cord for it out It's sitting there collecting dust. Maybe if you had a single fucking you have time you have time Joey, I I never said it was time. Don't even start fucking asshole. Sorry. I'm hungry. Daddy's a tunders. Yeah, I bet you are. How are you? I'm good. Yeah. Are you hungry? No. I'll

tell you who's thirsty though. Kid Rock, he was seeing drinking a bloodlite. What does that mean? What is going on? Kid right, kid right. Kid no, kid wrong here. If you ask the right people. Kid rock was seeing drinking a bloodlite this weekend in Nashville and it was a tall boy.

And it's first of all, which makes it extra gay, extra well, extra long, extra girthy, exactly, extra bud lighting. Does this mean that Kid Rock supports the trans, LGBTQ plus community, or is he still, what is the word? Stupid? Yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, the obvious answer is he never cared about that movement, he did something and shot up a bunch of bud light cans just to get attention. That's the obvious answer is he never cared about that movement He did something and shot up a bunch of bud light cans just to get attention That's the obvious answer there, but the question is how are you gonna drink that gay juice mr. Rock? Oh, what's going on now kid rock? Are you becoming now fab rock? Maybe he's maybe he's trans maybe What are kid rocks pronouns? We don't know he never he's never confirmed. I think it's a he huh I think he did say it was he huh if if he he actually said his pronoun, or Yeehaw. I'm not sure. But it's not Yeehaw, because he's from Detois. He's from Detois, Micheangong. Oh, Detroit. Yeah. I didn't know what you were doing. Yeah,

that's Detroit. That's Detroit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not French. I know Frank I know that this is really a conundrum here because now what what do the Pieces of shit in this country that were like live and die about kid rock ball with to ball. Yeah, what do they do now? I don't know how you gonna go back to ring a buttlight I guess but it's it's but light back. I had a fat bud light at the Yankee game I'm always about bud light. I don't it's a beer. I had a fat buttlight at the Yankee game. I'm always about buttlight. I don't, it's a beer. I only like them. I don't really like them in the Tallboy cans.

Well, there's a special amount of douxiness that comes with drinking a Tallboy because it's like, you're kind of admitting that you're a little baby piece of shit, you know what I mean? I guess. Like what, all right, let's rank the, like, vessels for drinking a glass bottle. Glass bottle is number one.

Easy. Easy, done, it tastes the freshest, it's the most fun. Most fun. And then it's those metal bottles. Oh yeah, I like those, like the, uh, uh, Miller Light has those, those are pretty good. Yep, yep, with twist offs. And they crack when you twist it. It's like, hard, yeah, like an old person's knuckles. Oh my god. Yeah, like a fucking chiropractor

Just went to town on its back. You know like someone with osteoporosis or something. I love that. That's the bottom thing right? Oh who cares? Yeah I would say least favorite is tall boy can for me. Yeah easily. I would take honestly number three You know, I don't fuck with koozies. I don't know people that put it in koozies. Yeah, I like that I don't drink a beer ities. I don't need that. People that put it in coosies, yeah. I like that. I don't drink a beer. It doesn't take me long enough to drink it that it gets warm.

Yeah, the shit is going down, baby. It's going down real quick, real smooth. Yeah. Can we go back to Kid Rock being possibly... I mean, listen, if you look at Kid Rock, the hair, the eyes, he doesn't not look like a lesbian. He looks like a well, no, he doesn't. He looks like a well-groomed old dog.

If you were to ask me like what kind of shirt he often wears in his spare time, flannels, of course. You know? Maybe he's a lumber sexual. What's that? I think I made that up. I hope you didn't because that sounds pretty cool. I've sucked in with lumberjacks and being sexually attra- Well he doesn't look like a Lumberjack. He is like, he is like, fucking, his hair is thin like tissue paper. It really is, is it really weird? Lumberjack's are very full and fleshed out. He looks like the doll from Rugrats.

What's that? Cynthia. That's the one. Yeah. That's it, he looks like that. Maybe that is his drag name. Cynthia. Maybe, hear me out.

I was gonna say, kid. I believe in cock, I thought. I could, it's an easy transition. easy tradition. That's a really good one. Kid rock to kid cock. Or skid rock. Like a butt poop stuff? Yeah, why would that? I don't know.

Skid rock? Slit rock. What's that one? Slit? No, like you know how that's a term that people use for jy-d. These are all questions we don't know. I'm not sure if you know how that's a term that people use for jianna. These are all questions we don't know. We need to speak with Mr. Orr.

Or Mrs. Orr. Mr. Rock. Or the Rock. Or the Rock. Whoa, not the Rock. Well, not the Rock is a completely different. They are completely different. I don't know, I don't know if I've ever seen

the Rock drinking a bud light. They Rock, yeah. They Rock, yeah. We don't know. So, and when the rock drinking a bud light. They rock. Yeah, they rock. Yeah, we don't know So kid and when is he gonna become a man, you know? Yeah, why are people still like he's like kind of being his 50s Right, you're not a kid and I have been and he does rock he rocks he plays rock does he though? It's it's like a rock rap fusion It is a guy listen to Bob with the ball. It's like Bam, but yeah, but got a game for that Fusion

I do you know one of the most electric intro to a song ever I will say that which one where it's just like my name is It's like Yeah, honestly Listen say what you want about is political alignments ball at the ball intro And summer what was summer at 16 and summer all summer long. That's it. I said summer a sweat 69 that's a good song. I got my first real six The bad the bad played it to my fingers, man Was it summer of 69?

Fuck yeah, that's a really good song that song makes me want to just like be a kid again, you know Not that we were ever alive during 1969. By the way in that song. He says Jimmy quit quit Jodie got married. He say Joey Jodie Joey didn't get married. No, you know, I was just a child in 69 you were in a child. No, when I you were a What I heard the song you were you were a fucking you were a masterbash But um do you know that was the first song that I ever knew all the words to? Did I tell you? Really? So let me tell you the reason why.

Okay, go ahead. You're a little overexcited. Make this make this happen. Come on. You're a little too excited. Um, but, okay, welcome back to my video. I don't know why I said that. I, in like a box of cereal, there was a CD that came in it they used to do that

cereals they used to be like oh here take a spoon and a cereal yeah it was weird but there was a CD on it there was two songs on it it was summer of 69 by Adams it's a good one and uh make it something stupid like the remedy by Jason oh a message in a bottle good song it is. It is just those two songs. Diz la duet, anyway, clubeee. Yeah, it is not. The police. The police. Isn't that sting? He was the police.

Sting was the police. He was stinging. But the police were not stinging, you know. I know. He stung eventually. Eventually. Um, but that was, but I listened to that song mad times. Because that's a really good song. You know what else is funny about that?

None of that was funny. Oh, it's just interesting. It was in a barely interesting. Well, it just, it was just something for someone to know. Hold on, I got a part that's funny. So the other thing that I got one time, I think it was either, no, because I used to play it in this stereo.

And in order to, I remember I would switch out this CD and it was Bill Cosby's Standoff special and that one I used to listen to that now that's funny. Yeah That's the funny part Joey. I'm glad. Don't cost me himself. That was the one. Yeah, well, you know The I don't know. Yeah, I'm not gonna. Don gonna touch it. I'm gonna give away from it Leave it alone give it a drink walk away. Yeah, okay. Well, that's all we're gonna say Come back in an hour. Yeah, it's a little tough But shout out to kid rock man. We appreciate all the support. I am I am I am just kind of interested. Yeah, why get dropped that supporting us. Yeah, I was yeah, I am just kind of interested. Yeah, but I can drop that supporting us.

Yeah, I was, yeah. I am, I like, will this be the comeback for Bud Light now? Maybe he's pro gay. Maybe they. Don't assume. I'm not gonna have that. Kid rocks gender. Okay.

He's probably so pissed now. Are there gay people in Detroit? Yeah, Frank, I think they're all on the show. I think there are, right? Yeah, even in the animal kingdom There's probably gay mosquitoes when you think about it. Oh, I get sucked off my skidies all the time All right, I should show you I got double sucked dude. I got fucking I felt bad I killed it. I killed one as it was mid suck. What a way to go, right? First of all I I killed the fuck out of one fucking end of sopranos cut to black thisopranos cut to black. This thing is just fucking sucking away at me

and then it's gone. Yeah. And honestly, there was one that like, I gave it a second, but he was there for way too long. I do, I do that sometimes too. And he was so mid-suck that when I hit him, there was a streak of blood. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm like, yo, you really didn't see that coming? No, 100% not. But, you know, let him go out like, think about it. If you were to die drinking a mimosa, just cut to black. That's a pretty nice little last memory, right? Yeah. I would say I'm just gonna be afraid to drink them. You'll be okay, Joey. I mean if you drink them in the quantity and quality that you normally do you might be dead in a couple years. Something else. I don't want to be the bearer bad news there. Yeah. But this is a really big story for Bud Light because if Bud Light's going to make it come

back, what else can Kid Rock do? Does Kid Rock have the power to cancel? Who's he canceling? Well, if he brings back Bud Light, can he bring back Kevin Spacey? Did he bring back Bud Light? I mean, he's trying if he gave Bud Light. He clearly, he's trying. He forgave Bud Light. He clearly, you know, you don't put fucking 120 rounds a minute into Bud Light. Yeah.

And not have a falling out. Yeah. You know, also, you're in Nashville. Like, I'm sure there's tons of beer there. I'm dude, what? It's just Bud Light. Yeah. 100%.

If any place would have canceled Bud Light, it would have been Nashville. If I'm one of those people, one of those hard-working Americans who are completely sane and went to the store and bought all their Bud Light just to pour it out, I'd be upset at Mr. Rock, I'd be like, hey sir, I just spent all this money supporting you. And I'm so smart and perfectly sane. And so I went to the store. There's nothing about you that's even slightly off. The Kid Rock says that Bud Light is gay. Well, obviously I'm gonna go to the store.

I'm gonna buy all the Bud Light and then I'm gonna pour it out. Yes. That's the most sensible thing to do. To show that you don't support them. Go buy them and throw them out. What else am I supposed to do? Kid Rock said it. That it's gay, it's gay.

You've got to be gay. 100% then he's drinking the gay juice. I think they don't know what to think. This is a lot, this is a lot. There are people I would say in the, around the Bible-belt part of the United States that are really, really uncomfortable and not knowing what to do right now.

I can't believe he did that. I mean, think about it. The world has been turned upside down. Bottom up. Bow with the bot. Bot with the bot. You know? He's a cowboy, baby.

He is a cowboy, baby. Yeah. That's a good song song to them. Is it cowboy? Yeah, it is I honestly don't even remember that was far though. Yeah, that's like one of his early hits like 99 when he was like 40 How old is kid rock? Give me give me an accurate. I would say I would say he's probably 58 I'm gonna be wrong 58. I'm gonna say wrong. 58, I'm gonna say 54. So we might be Kid Rock birthday. You could just put age.

You don't know, you went on to his birthday where you could do his like, I was gonna try to just sign. You're right, you're right. You normally comes up. Ah, I was right, 52. What's his astrology sign? Well now, I'll figure it out.

No, no, just type it in. I don't't know when they are like what's the cut off? Hey man type in his astrology sign. It'll just fucking pop up kid rock astrology What is he he is a It's giving me all this sunshine The main one the main me telling me saying sunshine. No, it's not telling me. It's not telling me. It's saying sunshine. Hold on, hold on.

It literally is not giving me a straight answer. All these fucking freaks. Is he a Capricorn? Making him a Capricorn. Yes, January 17, 1971 is his birthday. January 17, Zodiac. Just said Capricorn. Yeah, he's a Capricorn. Just said it. it typical capricorn behavior. Oh my god such a cap

We're going going back on what they say. Let's just say going back on what they say very capricorni I'm gonna say I'm gonna go capricorn qualities and we'll see if these kind of like line up to what we know Which is a lot about kid rock mm-hmm what? Are the qualities give me Okay, this is now I'm being Cosmopolitan. You're really not doing a good job here. Come on, you have one job, Cosmopolitan. Cosmopolitan. Have a cool hotel in Vegas and have stuff about, you know, astrology. Those born under this sign are logical. Well, no, people know Kid Rock to be logical. A very logical move to buy a bunch of Bud Light and then shoot it.

A gay beer, shoot gay beer. Yeah. Competitive. Well, of course. Of course. You know, it's a doggy dog world for a dog. And obedient, because he does listen to the dogman. A lot of things about dogs here. He's not anti-establishment.

He's not. He pretty much gives in. But they may be stern. Well, listen to his music. He tells you, his name is Kid. Yes. And he could be gloomy at times. Which is fair. We all get gloomy.

Everyone gets the blues every now and then. Everyone gets the blues, yeah. All summer long. It's a kind of sad song. Capricorns are one of the Zodiacs most serious and hardworking signs. Well, who works harder than Detroit cowboy kid rock when it He's gonna kill us, dude. We're so dead. We're fucking murdered. I can't go to Nashville I'm waiting. Yeah, wait. Hey, guess what? You'll never be able to go on a luxurious vacation in Detroit

never be able to go on a luxurious vacation in Detroit. No, I think he's a Nashville guy now. But anyway, yeah, I don't know. Once you've been in Nashville, once you've been to Nashville, you get so enough. Anyway, Kid Rock is trans, tell your friends. Well, I mean, you can't say stuff like that because you can get in trouble for that.

We're questioning, is he now? Like, is he allegedly? Allegedly. Well, that's what I'm gonna assume. That's what he assumed Right, I think if you're gonna drink that beer. You're like gay. Well, I think so like So is Kid Rock Where does it stop for Kid Rock? I don't know where does it stop? Also, how many did he have that night? We don't know. We just don't know. I mean if he had one

Crazy if he had more than one if he had more than one, if he had a couple, yeah, that's fine. He had a couple tall boys of Bud Light. Yeah. Do you think like it was handed to him and he like, did like a, yeah, and he grabbed it, or was it like a, all right, I guess I'm doing it. He doesn't sound like that.

He doesn't at all. And he doesn't like literally sound like that, even in the slightest. No. I'll be honest with you, all jokes aside, I think it is kind of shocking that he did drink that. No, yeah, legitimately. Like if you're gonna drink it at this point,

I'd be like, all right, I'm just gonna drink this in my house because I can't. I'm not broke. It was a legit movement that like people stop drinking but life. How could you go back on that? That's so weird. I'm sure he's either gonna say Fignus,

or he's gonna say like, it was the only one they had and I dumped it out and I put a vodka soda in it. Yeah, but it's through my cigarette in it. Yeah, that's just, I drink a cigarette smoothie. It's whiskey, marble, reds, and a fucking tinge of hot sauce. I wonder if he tweeted anything. This is a really good, first of all, it's not called tweeting anymore, Joey. It's called Xing.

Is that what it's called? Has he Xed? I wonder if he's responded. All right, look it up. What does Kid Rock said? Any statements from Kid Rock? No, it just says Kid Rock spotted drinking a buttlight after leading the Anheuser Bush LGBTQ Pride boycott like i said

it's not the it's not it's not that he did all that for attention and didn't really care about it and only did that because he doesn't care about any of us or movements or anything he wanted simply the attention it's not that it's something more logical there's a bigger conspiracy at play here, Joey. Do you think this has anything to do with the deep state? Kid Rock? Do you think that was planted in his hand?

Here's what I think. I don't think that's Kid Rock. It can't be, dude. I think that's Hillary Clinton. Dude, it's one of those lizard people that Hillary Clinton that Q was always talking about. Shape-shifting. God. Pieces of garbage shit.

It's gotta be. That's the only, the only logical thing here is that Kid Rock was mind-controlled by Hillary Clinton and her lizard people. To force him to pick up and take a picture at Nashville country's place drinking a bud light. That's what happened. That's the only logical answer here.

And it's sad, dude. And somehow, Jeffrey Epstein is involved. Yeah, I agree. Don't know how. I agree. But there you go. So fucked up. All we have left is Hunter Biden.

Bro, I saw this step. I know it did like a riff on Hunter Biden. Did he? Yeah, I think he was just doing some crowd work and he was like, jokes aside, this guy's fucking awesome. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Absolutely like yeah like just where are you going that fast? Oh my god, dude. I just remembered this Fucking I have to look up the story But did you see the story about the girl who was catfished and gave fucking oh whatever that guy's name Daker Montgomery from Stranger Things that's a dumb name and also he's a hot guy though good looking guy

Also, he played the red power anger in the 2016 reboot maybe 17. Did he? Yeah, okay Where's the story? Okay, heartbroken stranger things fan loses $10,000 Because you got scams by a catfish this woman Thought she was dating the dude from Stranger Things. Billy. Billy. For those of you guys that don't know who we're referencing.

$10,000 in like gift cards, which is like, come on. Scammers. Give me a break here. The red alarm. What he said was that his girlfriend or what? I don't know if he's married or something. I don't know either. He is Australian though.

Do an accent No, pretty good. Sorry But they said that his wife or whoever the fuck has control for his money so he couldn't get his money So I'll give you the money of course. Well, I mean if anyone's gonna if he's gonna reach out to anyone It's this random superfan. Where do they meet by the way? Instagram wrong. It was like on an art forum Well, of course guys guys. Why are we playing Koi here? Where are celebrities gonna ask for help in the comment section on an art website? That's what I believe that was Why it's really sad it makes me sad. Listen, I will say this this girl is clearly a victim and I'm sure she's being

talked about But but What like what are you like a little bit of logic implemented here would have fixed it? He like wrote a thing on the photo forum. He said I'm actually a celebrity that you might have heard of Okay, who? Brad Pitt. And then he said, I'm trying to ask you out. I want you to be my girlfriend with a heart.

This is, oh god. Oh no, what? Bro, she had a heart attack. Yeah, she left her husband for him. Oh my god, that's so sad. It's sad. But what? Fuck, dude. Holy shit, dude. That's so sad. It's sad. But what? What?

Fuck, dude. Holy shit. Dude. That's so sad, though. I don't mean to. Fuck. Sound insensitive here. It's sad. First. First, first. Alright, where you're in a car.

I mean. Where's the first stop you're going to? Sad. Second stop. Hilarious. It's fucked up, dude. But come on. That's so fucked. I dude, but come on. That's so fucked.

I just, she said, after you have online communications with the scam, oh my God, this is a year. A year, bro? She, that, oh, the scammer did this. Oh, this is horrible. What? The scammer, like Gavry and Ultimated, like, you need to make a decision between your husband

or me and Mikhail, I told the scammer that there is no competition, you treat me better. So I told my ex-husband. Yeah Mikhail, I told the scammer that there's no competition. You treat me better. So I told my ex-husband. Yeah, it's okay. There were some things there clearly. Big time. Yeah.

So I told my ex-husband, it's not working out. You're not letting me be me. You're not letting me be free, I think. So I think you need to leave. Wait, why does that rhyme? Pfft. You got guys. You're those you guys that don't know.

You can't break up in the poem. With the poem, guys. It's not a lie. It's not a lie. You can't let me be me. You can't let me be free. I need you to see that can't break up in a moment. With a poem. With a poem, guys. It's not a lot. You can't, you can't let me be me, you can't let me be free. I need you to see that you're not the one for me. That doesn't work. Yeah. You made your break up a joke.

Yeah, like you can't, you can't. You're not letting me be me, you're not letting me be free. So I think you need to leave. Within two months he was gone. And she had Daker. That's his name. Kailer, if you have one of the reasons that made her generally believe that she was speaking

to Montgomery, he knew DTS about the new episodes, three or things that would turn out to be true. Which, the show has been out. The day season four came out, the day before he texted me and he said, hey, you need to watch episode four. And when it came out the next day, he showed up in that episode and I was like, well, who else would know that?

If you look at the cast listing on the episodes on IMDB, yeah, not hard, but before it came out, you could do that. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, that's kind of, because they, man, listen, and Michaela also shared another instance that he convinced her after she bought a copy of his book, DKMH, poems by Dave Hermann Degre Montgomery, the scammer would send her additional poems that she believes match Montgomery's writing style. Wait a sec, hold on. So she did break up with her husband with poems, because he was big poem.

Oh, maybe. She used a poem. This is so fucked up. I feel bad now. If I was him, I mean, no. In me being myself. If someone catfished your likeness, I'd be like, damn. I would be very upset if I'm him. I'd be super heartbroken about this. Well, it's sad.

It is sad. I mean, someone was taking advantage of, but at the same time, like, I have a little, a little... A little bit. Also, I might need a little help with money. My queen, Liv has, Liv, I guess, is a girlfriend, has control of all the accounts, and I don't have access. Little little little Also says I might need a little help with money my queen live has live I guess is a girlfriend has control of all the accounts and I don't have access why the fuck would your girlfriend have you're the It's you you're the person. I mean there. I I can't speak for there's some weird situations out there, but stuff like that but like

This $10,000 brought a lot of money No, no This $10,000. Bro, it's a lot of money. Bro, it fucking... No, no. I have to say in general. I'm busy right now. I was making lasagna. That was one of the things we didn't hear. I don't know what. Like, if you applied the smallest bit of logic,

if anyone asked me for money through a gift card, bro, when I worked at Target, that was a legit scam. We would have, bro, it was really sad. We would have old people come in and they would be trying to buy like 10 gift cards for like $5,000. And I would get called over and I would say, okay, what's going on?

And they're like, I can't talk to you. And I'm like, just tell me like what these are for. And they're like, oh, well, someone called me that my grandson was in an accident. And if I didn't give to you and I'm like just tell me like what these are for and they're like oh well Someone called me that my grandson was in an accident and if I didn't give him the money They were gonna let him die on the side of the road. I was like Jesus fucking Christ bro What kind of evil pieces of shit? It's like also but then I I also call your I also I said I was like did you call your grandson She's like no, he's on the side of the road. I was like I'm gonna bet a yank. I think he's not yeah, no He ain't. But this is

when he said the lasagna thing, uh, the team found that the picture he sent of the lasagna was from Martha Stewart Cookbook. Oh, yeah, 100%. I mean, dude, he also made a, the scammer also sent a check to Makayla that the team found a fake signature commonly used by online scammers. that the team found a fake signature commonly used by online scammers. What? How much time do people have on their hands to do this? I feel so bad though. I'm gonna be honest with you, this is like-

This is, I feel bad too. It is heartbroken. But it broke. Heartbroken. Heart breaking? Yeah. And but I am laughing a little. A little bit because, listen,

two things could be true at the same time. You could feel bad for this woman who's clearly going through it and went through it for the last year, left her husband. Clearly there was some stuff there, but it didn't take much for her to leave him. But at the same time, it's also fucking hysterical. Yeah, I'm sorry. I hope she's not watching. You feel bad now.

I do. What are you laughing at? What are you laughing at? Listen, Joey will give you your money back and then some. He probably won't. Someone posing as Joey will message you soon on a web forum. Go to Quora, I'll meet you there. Quora?

I've got a Quora account. You, someone used your likeness for catfishing once, right? Yeah, big time. No one has fucking done that for me. Not God. You haven't really been like on the internet that long though. Yeah, I guess someone's gonna do it now. I hope not.

If anyone says it's me, I promise you it's not. I promise you it's fucking absolutely. Unless there's an account hitting you up for Megazords? Well, Frank. No, no, no, no, don't do that. Because you're like, yo Megazord, they just get it. Now they're gonna cap-ish and just be like,

hey, it's me Frank, Megazords? How you feel about that? Do you have any Megazords? Well, let me see your Megazords, you know? Then that's how you're giving people the fucking, the stuff here, Joe, you're giving people the tools they need to cap-ish. You'll be fine.

We do have some sponsors for today. The first one, we have BetterHelp. BetterHelp, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online counseling and therapy, I should say. It is great. Yeah, if anyone wants to get involved in therapy, I suggest that highly. I mean, I've been saying it for years.

I've been in therapy for years. I think it's incredible for you. Even if you're not, you know, dealing with anything super traumatic, it doesn't have to be something like that. Like a lot of people, I've heard people describe it as like the gym for your brain, which I agree is kind of like that. Even last week of my session, I going into it, I was like, I have no idea we're going to talk about, But eventually, you just start talking and you get to a certain point. It's nice. And even for people that have maybe

you have big life decisions coming up or something like that, it could really help you just kind of organize your thoughts that it helps you think a little clearer. And I go once a week, and like I said, I suggest it to everyone. I think it's incredibly helpful. But yeah. So I've definitely benefited from that.

So if you guys are thinking about trying to give better help a try, it's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. So you can do it at any sort of like pace if you want to do it once a week or you know, twice a month or something like that. Whatever it is, all you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch it any time.

You can switch your therapist at any time at no additional charge. But yeah, so you can visit betterhelp.com slash basement yard today to get 10% off of your first month. That is betterhelp.htlp.com slash basement yard. You get 10% off of that first month, okay? So go check it out, folks. Next year we have a simply safe, simply safe 24-7 live guard protection.

Okay, it's made possible by the new smart alarm wireless and door camera available with a fast protect monitoring program, but it's great. Like I said, 24-7, anything happens if there's a fire, someone breaks in and whatever it is, the system will detect that there's an actual threat here, and we'll send the proper authority. So if there's a fire, they will contact the fire department,

and so on and so forth. Frankie has in his house. You open up one of the doors of beeps. You open up a window or something. It'll beep so that you know you're keeping your stuff safe. And it's also very affordable. Also, you can install it very easily. You can do it yourself in about 30 minutes or you can have a simply safe expert set up for you

either way, easy to protect your home. But yeah, they have a new smart alarm indoor camera. It's the only indoor security camera that can trigger the alarm and instantly deter intruders with a built-in siren, huge. But yeah, so for a limited time, get 20% off your new system when you sign up for fast protected monitoring. Visit simplysafe.com slash basement that is simplysafe.com slash basement. There's no safe, like simply safe. Spelled S-I-M-P-L-I-S-A-F-E. Okay, folks? There you go. Hi. Hi. I'm going to talk to you guys about something. You want to come in? Come in closer.

A little clump. Okay, a little clump right here, right here. Patreon, baby, patreon.com, size of basement yard folks, every single week, every single week, every single week I tell you. At least once, maybe twice, who knows, maybe even three times from feeling dirty, naughty, and spicy. You can get more of us, baby. That's right, these boys right here abandoned his pups. We were found by Muriel and then that Patreon account, it lived in the middle of nowhere with its husband, Eustace, and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

So you can go find more of us at patreon.com, slash the basement yard where you sign up for that first of tier, these weekly episodes, one week in advance, one week before everybody, baby. And that second tier, the kissy tier is like I call it. You get exclusive episodes every Friday morning. So you could start an end-of-the-week with the basement yard. And those are pretty insane those episodes.

They're all over the place. They're a little nuts. They're a little cookie. A little crazy. A little raunchy, a little raw. And they're really good for you. So go check it out. We really, really, really appreciate getting to 25,000.

We're working. I got some footage from when Joe and I were about 13, 14, 15 digitized for you guys, which will be on there for our Tier 2 patrons. And, you know, thank you again. We want to keep moving in the right direction. Number seven for Patreon podcast, baby. We want to be number one.

I don't care what you're a fuck. What's gonna take to get there? Joey said he's gonna do a bunch of stuff. He's gonna get a tattoo of me on his back. He said it, he can't say anything now patient.com slice the basement yard No, why not would you get a basement yard tattoo? Probably not I have no tattoos though you have two tattoos three. Yeah, are you getting more?

I keep saying this every single time I go away. I'm like I'm gonna get a tattoo I was like when you're in a place? Yeah. Like in like Greece, you'd be like, oh, give me a Greek tattoo? No, not a Greek tattoo, just get a tattoo. I was saying, what, what? I don't know, just, I don't know. Saying, I don't know if I come up with an idea, like I'll do it.

That's dumb. Yeah. Whatever. No. Not whatever. Figure it out. Oh my god. Are you gonna get like are you gonna be like sleeved out? Are you gonna be like all tattooed up and down? No? I probably will never get another tattoo on this arm, but I would get more here. Why?

Why yeah, oh is it like this is my holy arm? No, I just I just like the way that my arm looks with just this on it because of this I just liked the way that my arm looks with just this on it. Because this... Don't start this, man. Because you did Riz. Nope, that's not... I am gonna say you did get that where you do the Riz thing. What, this? Yeah.

I guess. Yeah, well. No tattoos for daddy over here. I was at a... When I was at my aunt's house yesterday, one of my uncles was like, he was looking at me and I was like, and he goes, 2004. Got it. And I was just like, correct?

I know that. I wasn't testing it. You nailed it, yeah. I was like, yes, and he goes, no, it. It's not congrats to you. Like, this is my family. That's the family you come from. Congratulations, my guy. You got it. You came from my family. That's the family you come from. Congratulations, my guy.

Yeah. You got it. You came from the same blood. Yeah. Hope you feel good. Anyway, I have this story pulled up. I'm going to give you a guess though. Just a quick guess.

All right, well, hold on, hold on. Woman takes Mountain Dew shower in attempt to scrub dead roommates DNA. Frankie, where's this woman from? I got two places on the top of my head here. Say only one. OK. Florida. Bingo, bingo. Whoa, really? Guess the other place I was gonna say.

I don't know. Filly. Oh, yeah. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. Well, but no, it was a Florida woman. She takes a Mountain Dew shower and attempt to scrub dead roommates DNA. Well, I will say this. Well, I'm not gonna blast her here. I don't want to blast all over her yet. Yeah, don't blast her with your fingers. Joey, what? But did she kill her roommate?

Oh, the roommate who was 79 years old. Listen, Ren's tough nowadays, my guy. Wait, what the fuck? You know, he was found bludgeoned and stabbed to death on their floor. Real happy, happy story here. Bludgeoned. Bludgeoned with a bludgeon. With a bludgeon.

Which a bludgeon? Yeah, it stabbed. Well, that's just regular stab. Stabbed, yeah. Who stabbed? But taking a mountain-do shower. I think that stuff is radioactive too, so I don't see why this wouldn't work.

Well, she would come out like fucking glowing, like, you know, the toxic avenger. Yeah. I, I know we're gonna joke around here because this is a podcast, Joey. Are, do you know what our podcast is about? Sometimes jokes. Yeah, sometimes fun.

You're right, sometimes you put those two things together. You have joky fun. Yep. This is not bad logic. Because you ever have a tickle in your throat and you drink Mountain Dew, or not Mountain Dew, like a seltzer or a ginger ale, and you're like, oh, the bubbles will wash it away.

That's kind of like the, no, not at all. I have a tickle on my throat and I drink a... In my head, the acidity of that drink is like cleansing my palate. You mean the carbonation? Yeah. Okay, dumb. I know, like, yeah, probably. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. But I get where you're going,

and that's kind of why I think this isn't the worst idea in the world. What is Mountain Dew? It's just not anything. Like, is it like, what flavor is it? I don't know. Is it like a fl- You know how like Sprite is lemon lime?

Stock your peppers, like cinnamon cola. Orange sodas, obviously is obviously flavored orange. What is Mountain Dew? Dew, it was a desperation move. It wasn't like her first choice to do that. Oh, what was her first choice? I don't know, but so it says that she was nowhere to be found. Please cut up to her at a restaurant.

And then she dropped a hammer and a knife, but she was carrying? Well, probably don't carry those things. Those things might have hammer and a knife, which she was carrying. Well, probably don't carry those things. Those things might have given you away, not the blood. Yeah, you could probably get away with saying, hey, why, you know, my roommates DNA on me, because you lived together, the hammer and the knife might have given it away.

Yeah, that one is toughy. When police started questioning her, it was at that point. She requested an attorney in the police informed her that they would be taking a DNA sample. In a desperation move, she then asked for a drink. As soon as officers were excording her to a squad's car, they handed her a can of diet Mountain Dew, oh, it was diet, dude. That's why it didn't work.

That's why. If it was regular. It would work. If it was full strength Mountain Dew, a drink was she began pouring all over her body in order to wash away evidence. Did she say that? Wash away is in like quotes. Let's start here. The stunt was unsuccessful. Blood on her clothes ended up matching blood from another knife found in the back of the house.

Let's start here. Can't wash out blood mountain dew. Definitely not diet mountain dew. I mean, if you're gonna wash out blood, it's gotta be with a better, more, you know, cleaning like soda. You ever see people clean with like Coca-Cola? They'll do like car batteries and stuff with Coca-Cola. Oh, yes, yes, it's real. That's disgusting. That's real shit, it works.

Why? I don't know, carbonation, the acidity, the sugar, I guess. I'm not, I honestly, watch this. Don't know. Okay. I'm not, I honestly, watch this. Don't know. Okay. I kinda, I don't hate this logic. Am I stupid? I mean, I get trying to wash it away,

like, oh, get rid of a fingerprint or something. But you have blood on you. On your knife. I don't know if they are. Why are you carrying around a bloody knife? I don't think they're able to pull fingerprints off of skin, Joey. What? I don't think you can are carrying around a bloody knife. I don't think they're able to pull fingerprints off of skin, Joey. What? I don't think you can pull a fingerprint off of skin. Really?

It's very porous, your skin. I don't know skin. Well, learn about skin, Joey. I did take a whole semester's worth of courses on fingerprints. And it's hard to pull fingerprints off of super porous things because it absorbs the oils that are left behind by your fingerprints. So like when you look at a glass or a dornab, metal, wood, even, what is tough because it's pretty porous. But you are able to pull fingerprints off those things easier.

Could you pull it off of skin? I guess it's entirely possible. I know that there have been instances where people have been able to get fingerprints You know fairly good latent prints off of cloth. Are you gonna respond at all? Are you gonna talk? Come on talk with me. So bored dude. What kind of you got cool fingerprints? I got double no. I got double loop worlds baby. What does that mean?

Wait, there's names? Of course there are arches, worlds. I don't know. Can you guys? Loose. I can Of course there are arches, worlds. I don't know. Can you I can diagnose me? I can diagnose you. I need to see it. I can't see. I'll tell you after. You need like a monopoly guy. No, I can just look with my eyes. My eyes work. Do yours? Yeah. Okay. I thought it would be easier if you had a magnifying glass. And there's different types of loops. There's all the loop, radial loop, radio? Radial. Radial. Depending on which way the loop opens. No, I don't. It's funny. I say so much dumb stuff on this show that people forget that I'm educated.

Right, yeah. I have the... I would like to know my loops. Well, I have double loop whirls on my thumbs, which are pretty, pretty unique. Cool. I can't see yours right now. Yeah, I don't know. But what does that look like though? It looks like an S.

Oh, you're like this? I got S's on my thumbs. Mine don't look like S. Oh wait! And then I got some loops. I got all loops. You do the loop, they loop. And then I got a couple, I got one world.

Two worlds! Yeah. Mine looks like the center of a tree. So that sounds like a world. Two worlds. Yeah. It looks like the center of a tree. So that sounds like a world. Cool. This one looks like it's a little wishy washy. Yep, my thumb is disgusting. Yeah, your thumb looks like shit.

Why am I grossed out by it? Because you get grossed thumbs. I like looking at this part of my thumb, but looking at like this without the nail, it's like, ew, this is gross. Yeah, that sucks, it sucks a lot. I don't like it, look at it. Yeah, look at your thumb.

Yeah, look great. Really? Good looking thumbs. This one's not bad. This one's horrible. Ill, it looks like raw meat. Ill. You chew your thumbs or something was wrong with you.

No, it just like, it looks like not a finger. So, where did she mess up here using, well, the murder? The murder was probably the big mess up. The big oopsie was the murder. I think that killing an 80 year old man. So, it's not Joey. Well, whatever. We're not gonna round up.

He wasn't an 80 yet, but guys on his way out. He would make it to 80. Yeah, I had to do his weighted out a couple years, you know. I mean, why did she kill him though? Is there any info on that? It's probably just old and boring, you know. I mean, it's Florida. It probably wasn't cool. Who knows that? It's so I just old and boring, you know, I mean, it's just Florida. It probably wasn't cool.

Who knows what's in the water down there? He probably just wasn't cool. She was a DeSantis fan. He was not, you know, something like that going on. Who knows, there's a lot that we don't know. Next question. If you were to clean your body with a soda, what do you think would do the trick?

clean your body with a soda. What do you think would do the trick? Oh, the Mountain Dew Code Red. That would make it look all blended with the blood. Can't find blood of his all blood. That's true, can't. If you put too much blood, it just becomes one blood. It's all blood. Yeah, but like a, what's the word,

like an androgenous blood blood? Androgenous bud blood and Drogeness Is that it? I don't know what you're trying to say so I can't comment like you can't you don't know the blood Indistinguishable that would be one and Roger is Androgynous is like questionable like sexuality and like it's an androgynous blood Technically like people know of someone's gay by the blood the like fucking David Bowie is like androgynous the way he looks what looked he's gone he's dead yeah yeah but I spell and droginous a and D are partly male and partly female in appearance so not blood not blood you got cool blood that blood looks female. I see the tits on that blood over there.

That blood's got some big, whoa, look at those fucking low hanging bloods. It's balls. Oh. It's like that. So you're using what's soda? Code red? Code red, man, do code red. It's a good one. I do think I'm gonna stick with a good old classic, like an extra spicy, like a McDonald's Coca Cola, you know what I'm saying?

Okay. Because that's got like a little more bubbles and carbonation. And it'll pick up whatever the germ is and carry it away. Maybe like a root beer though. I think getting in a bath of soda would feel nice. I did that. but not soda. So I went to a spa in North Jersey called Sojo. You need to fuck it up.

Oh, you told me. Dude, it is awesome. It was carbonated water? Awesome. They have one floor. That's all like, what are they called? Not bubbles. Esquartz. What?

What? What are you talking about? I was asking. Not escorts. Oh. Jacuzzi's. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like one was like an ancient Japanese wood one and one was it was filled with carbonated water. Oh, that's fire. Dude, if... Bumble over your shit. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. We sat in there for like 10 minutes and our arms will like Bubble out. I love that. It was pretty good apparently. It's really good This and knocks all the bubble yeah, yeah, and they float up to the top and then you just have a streak of no bubbles Yeah, and then they grow again. Yeah, yeah, you should go. It's really really really great

The carbonation tub would be worth it bro But then they have a floor of sonnas and it's like a red clay sauna a fucking charcoal sauna a Cold room where it's a zero degrees Zero degrees then they have an infant they have multiple infinity pools with jets. I don't think it's zero degrees watch this It's zero degrees. I do they give you something to wear no you go in naked. Yeah Into zero degree people could die You're not supposed to stay in there for that long you just go in there. Yeah. Into zero to grip. People could die. You're not supposed to stay in there for that long. You just go in there and it's like, that's very cold, Frank. It is. Was probably

will be if I could do it again. Yeah. Oh, you went into the thing. Yeah. Of course, I went. I'm literally out. You dumped it out. No, I was cloked. No dumping out. I was fully dumped in. You were dumped in. You were tucked I was tucked in yeah, well, nope didn't talk no I meant like tucked into your pants. I was in a robe Yeah, naked underneath like that no not naked bathing suit underneath you're not allowed to wear shoes in this place They have a like it's like and you naked if you in certain spots they had giant steam room big certain spots. They had giant steam room. Big. Real big. I would recommend it. Hey, anyone that works at SoJo want to give the boys a free pass? Oh, give me that culminated tub. Yeah, it was really cool, but yeah, what else we got? I don't know.

We got more ads actually. You know, guys, listen. You want a little good this summer in a nice pair of shorts? Bird dogs, okay? They make you look good. And I have a little bit of a thick dye up here, up at the top, my thighs a little thick, but I like the bird dogs because it's nice and stretchy and it fits to your body. Makes you look really nice, okay?

I like it more than other brands, most other brands. But it uses anti-stinks sweat wicking fabric that keeps you cool and dry all day long, which is nice too because especially the boys, they drip a little bit, you know what I mean? Especially when it's hot out there. And also it's been like raining and super humid at certain days,

and I'm just sweating my ass off. So when you're wearing a pair of bird dogs, it's nice to know that you're not like, you know, it's keeping you dry and cool down there. So it's good. But we love bird dogs. They have a lot of cool products on their site. Definitely go check them out. These shorts are great though. They fit way better than regular shorts that are made of like that stiff material. I don't even know what it is, but it feels like I'm wearing like construction paper. Hate that. But go get yourself a pair of bird dogs, nice pair of shorts for the boys.

Go to birddogs.com slash basement and to the promo code basement for a free Yeti-style Tumblr with your order, okay? Nice little Tumblr for you. Who doesn't need, you know, you always could use an extra one of those. That's birddogs.com slash basement or the promo code basement for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. All right, so go get yourself a pair. And last year we have Hello Fresh, Hello Fresh. You get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients delivered right to your door. All right, you go on their website,

you have pick out what meals you want to do that week, and they send them to you. Like I said, pre-portioned. Nothing goes to waste. You put everything in. They give you the recipe, you cook the thing. It's beautiful. It's great. Love, hello, fresh. It's a great way to learn new recipes. That's what I think the coolest part is,

I say that every single time, but it really is the coolest part. It's like learning, like, oh, I can make this weird mac and cheese thing and add these ingredients. And now it's much better than just regular mac and cheese. You know what I mean? So it's kind of like what it is. Like I said, farm fresh ingredients. So really top quality, great food, you know, not anything bad for you. But yeah. So it's America's number one meal kit for a reason folks. Go out there and get yourself some hello fresh. a reason folks go out there and get yourself some Hello Fresh. Go to HelloFresh.com slash 50 basement use the code 50 basement for 50% off plus 15% off the next two months. All types

of savings here. HelloFresh.com slash 50 basement and use the code 50 basement for 50% off plus 15% off the next two months. Okay, folks, go get yourself some hello fresh feed yourself. Also more affordable than takeout. And going to a restaurant obviously, get yourself some hello fresh. Enjoy.

You're good at that. Do you? You're very brown today. What? Jesus. Not you. You're the clothes that you just got. First of all, I said you're very good at that today. What? Not you. Jesus. Not you. You're the closing suicide. The Jesus Christ.

First of all, I said you're very good at that. And then you said do you. And then you said I'm very brown today. You are, you're brown. I'm a little, well, yeah, I mean, this was for one of our Patreon episodes. I wore this shirt specifically. Fun fact, I told Joey to wear a specific shirt and he didn't. Fun fact, I told Joey to wear a specific shirt and he didn't. We don't have proof.

We do. I can show him your phone number. And your email. Your address? I'll send it all out. I don't give a fart. You don't give a fart? One big fart. What was the last time you farted? I mean, I farted every day Joey multiple times a day

I just don't I don't fucking Scream it from the rooftops like you do do you fart though like you push it? No, like farts just happen You like let it come out. Yeah You're pushing things out your ass Farts That's how you start with f with Farts, then what? Yeah, because you like to fucking show it off. For who?

For who? For who you show when you're Farts off, too. When I was showing off, I'm just having fun. You're having fun with Farts? Joey, what's fun about Farts? The sound. Is it? Okay.

It's fun, even. Yeah, and then it stinks in here. And no, I don't have stinky laws. Joey, don't do that. I have some beers, that's not good. I've smelled your farts and I've said to you, I was like, you smell like fucking dirt. I have farted and it smelled like a doctor's office

before, like a rubber glove. I remember, there's, it was one time you farted and it smelled like hot fish. I don't know if that's true. It definitely did. It smelled like the hot bay. That's like Bay, you know, that's like how my dogs breath smells I mean what why does your dogs breath smell exactly the way your ass does

What do you when what are you and Charlie doing? Don't you dare and say you make that you what are you trying you have you ever heard of like or known someone that actually did that whole like peanut butter on their dick thing What do you think? I'm not saying of you done it Joey I know but you're saying you do you think I know someone who has put peanut butter on there and let a dog No, sure. Yes, but I did see it. Oh I did see a video once. Oh Joey. It was a woman. She was letting it. So I Years and years and years ago. I was just not video once. It was a woman, she was letting a dog. So years and years and years ago.

Why is this not an agreement? Yes. I years and years and years ago worked with someone who told us a story that when they were in their teenage years, a girl, like they were all partying, and a girl was like, I'll get this dog to fucking eat me out. Oh my god, ew. And like she had, you know, patayed her fucking poutine with peanut butter.

Probably talk like a person. Probably, yeah, I don't know. She had smeared peanut butter around her pelvis, Joey. Is that what you want me to say? Yeah. Clear as day? Just say pussy. No. It's offensive.

To cats. You're worried about the cats. I'm worried about the dog. But and apparently- At a party? Apparently. First of all, fitting out your pussy at a party is just insanity. I mean, I think at a certain point, you to realize like what are you doing?

Yeah, step one. That's the part. Pulling out your post-edit party crazy things too. Then being like, I better get that. Who's all these people should be lined up? Shot one by one. One in the head, huh? Yes. No, no, no. In the legs. Oh, you don't want to kill them. No, I do. I want them to be writhing and pain. Oh, you oh, so you want them to bleed out slowly. Oh, yes, that's okay. Alright, shoot them in the like the whatever the one in the leg is if you hit that the femoral artery. Yeah. Is that the one? Yes, it is. That's the one then. I promise you it's the one. I am not disputing that you often look at me and think that I'm stupid and I don't want you to do that here Maybe someone's insecure. Can you imagine? Could you imagine people like actually do it? There's got to be people out there that have done that that story came from somewhere if I was listen There's a start here. It's abuse by the way

One want to talk about abuse because that's just what I was about to talk about if I'm at this party someone's getting abused and her name is whoever this is. Um, do me a favor. Just going to say that. Don't say that. I will, I will go to jail protecting a dog from something like that. I will drop an elbow on a woman. Did you realize what you just said?

What? What if I'm at a party and this happens, someone's getting abused and she's a woman. No, I'm like, I'm saying- I know what you're referencing. But like, at a context, Jesus Christ. I was saying I was going to beat this woman. I know, I know what you're saying, Joey. Frankie, domestic violence is what I was talking about. Not the other one.

Well, not domestic violence. I'm just hitting a woman in this situation. And it didn't happen, but I would probably. Josh. Oh, dude. If a woman's like, I'm gonna have this doggy me out. At a party, I'd be like, no, flung. How about this?

How about this? Call the cops. Let them hit her. The cops are gonna take too long. Oh yeah, the NYPD, you're really gonna come and be super calm and could, you know, not fucking wanna start swinging on sight. Oh my God, I'm also just, I'm joking, but Jesus,

I would not be able to stand around without- If you were to put any spreadable food on your dick for an animal to eat it off. Um, did we not just, you just not just hear me threaten to beat up a woman who did this? Like, I said this multiple times, right? So, if a woman is trying to abuse an animal, peanut butter? No. Nutella?

No. I can kill the dog. Double whammy. What? Wait, is that, is chocolate? I think there's chocolate. I don't know. I think there's a lot of it. Is hazelnut? It's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like It's not just hazelnut spread, I think there's chocolate in there somewhere. But what else? Cream cheese? I'm not answering this fucking question that you have.

Because the answer is nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I just put my whole likelihood on the line for a dog that doesn't that didn't even happen. Yeah, well, no, apparently it did to the person that told me the story. All those people at the party. And I think the person told the story to like, for everyone to be like, whoa, that was crazy. And the response was like, fucking what?

Yeah, like what's wrong with you people? Yeah, that's not cool. I would let the dogs out of the house, close the door, and then in glorious bastard style, burn it in the ground. Got you, okay. Like Shoshana. Yeah, Shoshana didn't do that.

All of you guys will burn. Yikes. That's what she said. Something like that. Just Charlie-like peanut butter? He does. What do you like it more if? No.

Do you bastard? He's also very particular about his traits. Really? Sometimes I'm like, oh, these look really good. He does love you though. So if you were to take some, you know, some, some, some, Frankie, creamy, jiffy, hello, shut up. Do you eat jiffy?

It's jiff and skippy. I combine them into one. Oh no, jiffy's gas? Jiffy, loob. That's the place that does your tires and oil. Yeah. What a name, names. I think we're, are we okay here?

I think we are, I think we're okay. But I was just about to say something I can't remember. Oh, sometimes I spend a lot of money on these like super organic blah, blah, blah dog treats. He won't eat them and he's like fuck that Yeah, cuz he he's a dog he'll eat his own shit What you just said doesn't apply to what I just said because I'll like I said I buy these treats because they're they're like yeah But I'm saying it's like he doesn't eat them. We're trying to like reinvent the wheel here with like dog treats like they will eat literal dirt if you let them

How can that be true if I just said because he doesn't because you want to give him like fucking like you know like homegrown Sam and Tows and like fucking like oh there's like fucking really good like you know a Ruggola in it. It's oh it's a dog Give it what it wants give it a fucking steak give it some wings give it a fucking give it some wings give it some wings What are you talking about? Dog-wally wings. A chicken wing. Yeah, why not?

Yeah, let your dog eat a chicken wing and let that pierce their fucking esophagus. Esophagus. Dogs are made to fucking swallow sharp things. Who told you that? He he. Dogs are made to swallow sharp things. You told me that when you were feeding Charlie Keys. That was what you went with.

Keys. Can you imagine something? I dog one time eight. Two sticks of butter and also eight like 11 muffins. Yikes. Yeah, like. Bro, dogs, all this shit about dogs not being like they can't have chocolate, they can't have grapes or avocado.

I, my old dog had multiple of each of those things and like lived until she died. I forget who it was. But someone told me that like, their dog ate like a whole chocolate cake and was fine. Well, our, our rogue had eaten a whole pumpkin pie. Not that there's chocolate in there, but like a whole thing of pumpkin pie. On Thanksgiving. I wouldn't eat a pumpkin pie

if I had eaten in three years. I gotta be honest, I didn't care. I didn't care one bit. I'm a whole family was like, oh, what the fuck? And I was just like disgusting pie. Literally looks like diarrhea. Yeah, pumpkin pie is probably, everything pumpkin sucks. Joey, no, that's not true. I like pumpkin spice stuff

Like a pump like a good pumpkin beer is good fuck you just just let me have this That's not good just let me have it. Oh, I'm sorry. What do you fucking have here? Here? Here we go Joey You know why because Joey only drinks beers that are made with fucking, you know, Guadalajara and chili roots. And like, oh, this mess cow is so smoky. You have a fucking pumpkin beer. Live a little. It's okay to feel something every now and then.

No, no preferences now, I'll be right here. No, you're, because your preferences are fucking big million-year job preferences. I said that I don't. Oh my god, this beer. It's so tart. I love this sour beer that tastes like kiwi. Just eat a fuck. Just have a fucking good old, you know, pumpkin traveller's beer. It's so tart. I love this sour beer that tastes like kiwi. Just eat a fuck. Just have a fucking good old, you know, pumpkin travelers beer. I don't like the taste of the pot. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, before I wake, pray my hold, sold to take.

I don't, I think you were, you were saying something at first and then you praying for your hold to be taken? Hmm, I don't know about that, dude. I hate that you do that. You, I said pray for a while. No, no, no. I hate that you do this like elitist, like, oh, I don't like, I don't like pumpkin beerist like oh I don't like I don't like pumpkin beer

Oh, I don't like these like typical things that like normal people have I need to have fucking beer that was brewed in the gondola of like a Nepali fucking illiterate bastard You know It's like oh this beer this was brewed in the basement of someone that lost their legs and fucking Iraq. It's like cool, dude Stop giving examples things You can't listen. I already talked about how I was gonna hit a one you can't now. You start you don't be an offensive You're a snob. I'm not a snob

Alright, we're in the thing. We're tired. We're tired and hot and tired That's where we're gonna end it Frank where can I find you if I was 80 85 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez and all of the forms of social media go check out the basement yard on patreon Patreon.com slash the basement yard go check out the basement yard and all forms of social media as well And then you can also go check out our friend Joe here at Joe Sanagata one of all forms of social media. Santa got us studios, we got a lot going on. It's real fun here. Go check that out. OPL, go check that out. Anything else? Okay.

I was doing a good job. Yeah, you were doing great. You can go follow me at Joe Sanagata. I'll go follow the show at the base of your art on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. We'll see you guys next time.