The Basement Yard - #416 - EuroJoe Is Back!

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

Joe is back from his vacation and things are like he never left.....kinda! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the base. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome back to the base. Man, you are at Frank. How's it going, buddy? I'm fucking pumped. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:11 And I'm wearing a shirt that's tight around my muscles. And I thought I thought coming in. Coming in. You're supposed to pronounce the sea and muscle. Yeah, whatever. I came in today thinking like I look good. I feel good. And then you just fucking blew me out the water.
Starting point is 00:00:24 You're just sitting there blowing me just completely Out the water no one's blowing you out the water Joey Yeah, but you got to say that as part of the blowing you can't say you're blowing me And then completely if you would let me finish for once. You're gonna completely blow you I Know I'm not I'm not gonna let me finish after the blowing. I'm saying let me finish I'm not saying let me finish after the blowing. I'm saying let me finish I'm not gonna like a finish Finish on me like like let me finish what I was gonna say is like your your whole aura is just your horror I'm a horror. Yeah, this is my horror. Yeah. Do you remember there was a girl in our in our neighborhood that we called Laura the horror?
Starting point is 00:01:01 I remember you called her that I I did not. As you did. Wait, who is she? Laura. Laura, who is that? I know who she was and I remember her. I'm not gonna. Is she our age? No, she was like a couple of years older.
Starting point is 00:01:14 She hung out with like, I don't want to- Oh, Laura the horror. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't know if she was ever a horror, but the name was passed down from, not her parents, but like other people. Not to be confused with Laura the Torah, which is a Jewish thing, a Hebrew book. Well, Laura is not anything to do with Jews.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Right. Torah is like their sacred book. Text, I don't think, I think it's a scroll. Don't Jews read backwards? I don't know. I think they read backwards. I don't know if that's... No, I think that's only the... I think everyone reads left to right except the
Starting point is 00:01:48 Chinese read like down. No, that's the matrix. I don't know. Well, you know, I'm not quite sure. Yeah, I don't know. But I'm not really in tune with how the, you know, Hebrew men and women are reading. Yeah. Are you? No, I just like, I feel like I know that for some reason. Gotcha, gotcha. For some reason, I feel like I know that. So this is portugues Joe. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:02:12 I'm follow, follow portugues, well, Gimbaiki. I just got back from a trip to Europe, Portugal, and I had a couple of bottles of wine. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Did you like, just adopt that you're now Portuguese, like you're part Portuguese now? Through a lot of abrigados, which means...
Starting point is 00:02:32 Oh, abrigados, yeah. Did I have that stupid fucking accent that I hate so much? I'll be honest with you, when I am hearing people speak Portuguese. Yeah. How many times do you almost say pork and cheese when you were drunk, by the way? Pork and cheese. Yeah, that's what... Oh my god. That's American, say like, oh, what are you doing? Oh, what are do you almost say pork and cheese when you were drunk, by the way? Pork and cheese. Yeah, that's what oh my god. That's American say like oh, what you doing? Oh,
Starting point is 00:02:47 it's speaking it stupid. Pork and cheese. I've never heard that but it sounds like a joke my dad would make. Yeah, I probably has. Well, she's pork and cheese. Yeah, all right. Relax. It's take it easy. Big guy. Um, my face is sweating. Yeah, it's hot. It's 97 degrees in New York. Yeah. No, I, I, but I, when I was listening to people speak Portuguese, I was like, this sounds like Spanish in rewind. Yeah, I, you know, famously, I've told this story through high school, I dated a Brazilian girl.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yep. And Brazilians also speak Portuguese. Yeah. But Brazil, I learned Brazilians and the, and like, like, I don't want to say legit Portuguese, but like, people from Portugal don't like each other. No. They are like, it's like, you know,
Starting point is 00:03:28 Bludes and Crips. Sure, I would say, yeah, maybe. Although they come together for good causes sometimes. Sometimes they tie their bandanas together and hold them up. Yeah. In solidarity. And that makes me feel safe, to be honest. I have to be honest with you, I see that, I get, I'm very happy.
Starting point is 00:03:43 No matter what happens in this country when the bloods and Crips tie their bandana together, I'm like, we'll be fine. Listen, if you get both the bloods and the Crips Together mad at you. Yeah, you fucked up. Yeah, like Russia. I know what was that? I will say al-Kaeda. I don't think they were No, nothing they were gonna fight the blood in the kitchen. We're just like, yo, it's fucking al-Kaeda shit is fucked up I think I think it was for like police brutality. That's a, yo, I'm an idiot. You are. Cut that.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Shit. Guys, it's fucking, I thought it was a Portugal. You know what it was? For gets the cops beat people. I get that. First of all, I know I forgot about that. You think about it quite often. By the way, I have a story to tell you.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Okay, so on the way back, because we went to Portugal, I went to Comporta, then I went to Lisbon, and then flew to... Fulutu in Tuchibai, no, the Azores Islands. By the way, you completely forgot the story. I was gonna tell your turn. You were gonna tell your turn? I was gonna say why I hate the Portuguese language,
Starting point is 00:04:42 but go on. Oh, yeah. Honestly, do we care though? No, I don't. Do we care to do it? No, no, no. Joey, I'll be very honest with you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Your story, not only does it hold more weight because your name is on all this shit, it's probably just a better story. No, but I wanna get, I wanna see if how you feel about this, because you're a courteous guy. I'd like to think so. You're a courteous man.
Starting point is 00:05:01 So I was on a plane coming home from the Azores, right? So this is like after the trip. I'm burnt out the Azores by the way I don't know I don't sounds like it's like a level in the Legend of Zelda I'll tell you what it looked like the Jurassic Park. Oh, okay, it was beautiful there. No dinosaurs that you saw though No, I wish but there was so many opportunities for dinosaurs to rear their ugly heads Oh, well, there was fog and I'm like just stand up. How bad do you wish you'd be just like looking and then you would just see like a fucking like Volossa wrapped her head and you'd do the clever girl thing here. Clevver, Clevver, Clevver, and then you die. Yeah. All the time. But anyway, so I
Starting point is 00:05:35 Was getting so burnt out on this trip that I was like, you know what? I'm gonna pay for an upgrade like I want to see home. Yeah, I was like I want to sit like in a nice seat So for this airline you like bid whatever long story short I end up getting the upgrade and I'm getting on the plane and There's a guy sitting in the seat. I was like oh, I'm sitting right there. Oh, no, I actually know there was no one sitting So I get I get in my seat and I have a bag. I put it down put it on the overhead I always take everything out of my pocket and put it in the scene front of me so I don't lose anything So I'm fully settled. And then this dude comes over with his wife
Starting point is 00:06:08 and he's like, do you mind if you switch seats with my wife so she can sit next to me? She's in the seat right in front of you. I picked the window. So this is in the first class cabin, there's only two seats. So I picked the window for that reason because I want to, I like the window.
Starting point is 00:06:20 I like the windows. I like the look. Well, she was in front of you so she had the window in the row in front of you. So I was like, oh, that was a key. Of course no problem No brainer. So I go to switch Right. Uh-oh So now I'm switching and as I'm getting to my new seat
Starting point is 00:06:31 There's a guy sitting there with what what I thought was wooden teeth and his daughter is yeah They were like that's not you can't brush over the wooden teeth part Joey's 2023 picture someone That instead of teeth they have brown rice Hmm, I hate that mouth. It's not a good one. Fuck that mouth Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I see this guy has his daughter who's like 11 or 12 years old real real asshole Look kid, I'll get to that. Oh, okay, so she's turned around in the seat and they're talking But then they both look at me and I was like I think goes oh you're sitting there. I was like yeah So I go and sit down put my bag down and take everything out again. I'm sitting there blah blah and I can kind of sense that there's another Hey, can you switch thing going on coming to coming back?
Starting point is 00:07:27 Huh another switch requests is coming over. Yeah, so I just I put my hat down headphones in pretend to be asleep Oh, do you know what happens? They they wake you up. Yeah, of course he taps my leg. I feel like I got to be honest with you if you're gonna wake anyone up It's on an airplane. I mean, that's the only appropriate place. Yeah, but only if you have to piss a shit. Maybe that person had to pin Jim. No, we did not take off yet. Oh, you were still on the ground.
Starting point is 00:07:52 People were still boarding. Boots on the ground. Yeah, we were at the gate. Gotcha. So I'm like, so I pretend to wake up. Oh, right. So I wake up. One more time, you're asleep. Oh, wow come right. So I wake up. One more time, you're asleep.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Oh, oh wow, okay. So I do that. And then the dude goes, hey, and now I'm looking at this. That face, it looks like turnmites. That's, oh, oh. Just tee, just tee. And he goes, what'd you mind if you switched with my daughter? She's like 1112, right?
Starting point is 00:08:22 And she's sitting in an aisle. And I go go I just switched One switch is enough too many now. I have a serious question for you yet If he had nicer teeth would you have done it? I would be more inclined, but I still would have said no Oh, because at this point I was like bro I what am I gonna do just bounce around this fucking first class until everyone else is comfy here some fucking termite tooth Portuguese prick wanted you to fucking switch a seat with him. He was American.
Starting point is 00:08:47 That makes it worse! It makes it worse. Way worse. I'll be honest with you, dude, what I'm in Europe and I hear someone speaking American, I'm like, oh, fucking pig. American skull. That's what you think. I know.
Starting point is 00:08:57 I literally, I'm like, ill, there's Americans here. The trick is, and I know I said this on the Patreon episode, I think that way. Right here, baby. Comfort of my own home. Wow, yeah. So, so then I was like, oh, I just switched with them. And he goes, oh, you just switched? Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:14 And then his daughter was looking at me. Then she looks at him. How old was it? Oh, you said about 10 or 12? I said it three times, I think. Okay, sorry. Well, Totten here, I've honestly forgotten my own name. So, she looks at him and she goes,
Starting point is 00:09:27 so no, to him, right? And I was like, this is better not say that shit to me. That's, she's pressuring the dad. And he goes, Emma, just sit down. Wait, where was she sitting? She was like, she was turned around. So her knees were like on the seat, like looking over. Oh, the row in front of you?
Starting point is 00:09:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The row in front of me, aisle. Oh, yeah. The row in front of me, aisle. Oh, fucking, I would, first of all, if I was that dad, I would have been like to you, I'd be like, I'm not waking this guy up. Not only that, I'd be like, just fucking say no. My daughter has to leave me a fuck alone face flight, you know? But I also don't know why people need this
Starting point is 00:09:59 the next to each other. We're not gonna talk. No, I'd never talk to anyone on a flight. It's, no, no, no, it's different for, I would say, I imagine it'd be different for a child and a parent. I can tell you this right now. Right now I can tell you this.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Do me a favor, talk about that. That guy is delighted that I said no. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's like, Emma, just sit down and she goes, I'm not doing that. I'll just switch with Mommy then. Damn. He was like, and he didn't say anything.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Did he drink on the plane a couple times? No, he read a book that had holographic pages. Oh, like the ones where you could scratch and it's like, rrr, rrr, rrr, rrr. No, the ones that, you ever close a book and this is shiny. Like the pages are all shiny. Oh, like a fucking, yeah, you know what, you used to be like that, those old fucking goosebumps books. Yeah, like choose your yeah, you know what you used to be like that those old fucking you know
Starting point is 00:10:50 Goosebumps books. Yeah, like choose your own ending where it's like you can either go to page 50 or 102 Yeah, it's like this guy reading a fucking spell book. What is this shit? Like it was just like shiny pages What but he wasn't brawl would you have switched with him with her? I'm a sucker. I am a fucking little sucker Okay, but what if you switch again, then someone asks you again. No, I would say one switch is more than enough, but the added fact that his daughter wanted, like that's, I'm a sucker for that, I'm a sucker for the kid. I will say this though, the minute I heard her get snippy, I would have been like, you know what, I'll fucking report you for having a bomb in your bag or something, shit. Like I would have made sure she got sent off the plane. Yeah, fuck she also then was sitting in the first row and we were like the fifth row
Starting point is 00:11:30 She got out of her seat walked to the back went up to her dad I was like can you get me a red bull and a bubble blah? 12 years old drinking a red bull. Yep. That's what she said and also this guy got up walked at the front of the plane and got her a red bull I'd be like I'm gonna throw you out of the time No, I mean that's doing something for your child. I'm not gonna. She's old. Yeah, 12 is 12. I will say that. She's not four. That is, she's 12. If she was four having a red bull, I would have fucking called CPS on these people. Yeah, that is, I have to say. I wouldn't, but I was like, am I fucked up for not moving? No, I think in that
Starting point is 00:12:01 situation you were okay, but you are a little bit of a piece of shit for other reasons such as this. I moved once. That's, that's, that's enough time. You had the one and I will say if his mouth didn't look like he was chewing on fucking dirt, maybe you would have done something. It did, it did look like that. You can't have a shitty mouth
Starting point is 00:12:17 and expect things to be done for you. It looked like an old wood shed. I imagine that it looked like he just like had a mouth full of just like, just fucking worms. I'm thinking about it and it's getting browner. You ever see, and I'm sure you hate that. You ever see someone that like, like a video, it looks like they had like a bunch of ticks
Starting point is 00:12:37 on their skin, it's like those like bumps. That's what I imagine is take for it. What the fuck are you talking about? You've never seen that dude? A video of a bumpy person? No, I'll be like, someone takes a shirt off and it's like they have like six ticks in a like a like a, like couldn't fucking find space on their arm or leg or something.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I'm not really taking too much ticket content these days. Neither am I, I don't see it because I want to. It just pops up and then I have to say that I don't want to see it anymore. Yeah, but then that actually plays into the outlaw. No, it's all a fucking picture. It's a vicious circle, yeah. It is a vicious circle. the I know it's all a fucking bitch circle Yeah, I'm really glad you had a good time though. You had a lot of wine had a ton of wine had four bottles of first day Not me alone to just me and my buddy just no no not you alone you and one other person
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah, one person had four bottles of wine and we had some cocktails too, which were so basically Five bottles of wine. I wasn't okay. Yeah, also, the place that I stayed at in Comporta was basically, anyone could have robbed that place. It's very easy. Yeah, I'm sure. Our door opened up with string. Oh, hold on. The exact same story we told on the Patreon.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Did I say that? The exact same thing. You opened and pulled the string and it opened and the windows were just screened. Not everyone's on Patreon, you fucking. Well, they should be over at patreon.com slash the basement yard. So they can double here this story, it's a good one a double here I will say I was able to tell that you were having a good time
Starting point is 00:13:50 Yeah, and it looked like you were having a good time and I was happy for you I know welcome back ladies and gentlemen my favorite segment in yours called keep it in frank where we tackle The stories up today in order to make sure that they are brought to the surface like a disgusting big old fat whitehead pimple Joey How you doing? Good you had a good time. Yeah, I'm so glad the wine was flowing and I could tell how could you tell how can I tell Joey There's something exhibit a that I want to bring up to you Now mind you guys I I already know you. Shut up. Now, I am so excited that you had a good time.
Starting point is 00:14:30 I really am. I enjoy seeing you do these things. I live vicariously through you. And it's heartwarming to see that you're living your best life. So, anything good happened over there? I'm having answers, you guys. What's the time difference, too? This one's probably the most embarrassing keeping it right. What's the time difference, huh one's probably the most embarrassing keeping it right?
Starting point is 00:14:45 What's the time difference five six five hours five hours so hypothetically if something were to be tweeted at 9 12 p.m Oh wow that's that's log is 25 that's 2 a.m. That's well Let's see three hours. Yeah, so 2 a.m. 2 15 in the morning. Yeah Where was it August 25? So you were there for a day. I think I was in Lisbon. Yeah, wherever you were doesn't matter brutal so You tweeted Joey. Yeah now anytime you do something Mm-hmm. I get word of it Because people like oh my god wait till Frank gets the hold it yeah that's driving me a little insane tough shit bitch there's a tweet from
Starting point is 00:15:29 you here that I wanted to make sure we talked about because it's just too good to ignore and I quote I've been drunk in Portugal for three days parentheses parentheses of Yikes, by the way you had the amount of characters to spell obviously Yeah, but I didn't have the capacity yeah, I figured that you had the capacity for the rest of this tweet though And and by the way you use an ampersand you didn't just always use those oh I can honestly say nothing is better than traveling with your friends and doing weird shit I deleted that in the morning. That's how bad that is. Not too, not quick enough for fucking good ol' freaky fingers over here.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Yeah, well you got me on notifications. No, but I saw that and I said, oh boy. Yeah, not good, not good, not good. Um, here's my one question. That, um, was this written by you or the fucking 22 year old white sorority girl that is inside your body? Yeah, that's the issue. I'm actually gonna look up pictures so I know what I was doing that night. I can tell you exactly what you were doing because I had messaged you a couple of hours earlier. Did you? Yeah, and you were...
Starting point is 00:16:40 It was the 25th. It was when you were wearing that shirt, you had a glass of wine in hand and a little baby cigar. Oh, that was the night. That was the night. Oh, I just went to a dinner. Yeah, that was gonna be my next fucking question. As I keep it, as I said, you're gonna keep it. What weird shit did you do? What kind of cookie fucking crazy weird shit, Joey?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yeah, I mean, Tell me about all this silly shit you did. I didn't do anything silly that night, honestly. What weird shit, are you referencing? Did you, I don't know, have that night on what weird shit. Are you referencing did you I don't know have sex with Your friend with you. Well, you know, no, I did not you sure no. We were we were at this dinner
Starting point is 00:17:14 Called the food circle. Okay. I Don't care for details. I do but I don't want to hear him right here got it right here Yeah, tell me offline. What about that night was weird nothing? Absolutely nothing good, but the night we both did get double cucked at one point by the by the waiter You told me this story. Yep, we ordered a drink and he goes no Literally was like no and we're like oh no, we want to try it sounds good He's like you don't want to do that before dinner. Don't get it. Why cuz it it would have fucked you up. Well, we ordered it after, so that where that picture is, where I'm wearing this and this cigar or whatever, we got them.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Try their whack. It's their, so heavy. Oh, it's like not a good, yeah, he was like, don't get this. He's like, get this like spritz with gin and whatever. Oh, something like for the meal and then it was actually paired it amazingly. But it was funny because we ordered drinking He was just like I'm not gonna get I saw this and I wanted to put my head through a fucking wall Yeah, that was pretty bad what weird shit and nothing dude nothing weird I think I was just referring to like the idea of like Yeah, but you're not doing the weird shit. No, but I mean like just just do random shit weird is the wrong word weird was dumb Yeah, but you were very drunk. I was yes. I was blasted. There was a wine pairing. I think the
Starting point is 00:18:31 Wine pairings by the way an IPA thought that was interesting. Yeah, don't care. I think I Think the obvious thing here is yes The obviously is what the obviously is yes, of course that stuff is fun. That's great. It ain't weird though. It ain't weird at all. You know what you were doing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:51 You were going and drinking and eating food. Dinner, yeah. Yeah, I had dinner. And you had a cigar. What weird shit is that? Nothing, honestly. The worst part of it though was been drunk for three days. Obb.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Yeah, that's pretty. That's how they grow bad. That's like ob. Yeah, that's pretty. That's how they grew so bad. That's like freshman in college, that's literally I swear to God, I've seen girls in like tweet that in 2010. Yeah, they got rejected from a sorority that the tweet before they were saying like, mommy hungry for omnnomes.
Starting point is 00:19:19 What does that mean? You don't remember when people in like 2010, 2011 called food omnnomes. Greg just walked away with a t-shirt made out of my face. Yeah, did he Greg come in Why does he have that? Oh, um, but There was actually a fun that is the pants who? All right, you got a shit. You got a shit Yeah show them the butt Oh! Alright, you got a sh- you got a sh- This is my line, I told you that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Show him the butt. What is this? I think it's tonight. Can you get on camera so we can show people? You gotta come on over. This is my line dropping soon. This looks great. Show the pants, show the butt.
Starting point is 00:20:02 There you go, that's what people wanted. Oh wow. in there damn dude. That's right. I'm so you're pussy Damn, dude, those things stretchy too. I don't want to touch your legs So was this something that was on the company card or is this like something that? That means yes. Oh, oh boohoo somebody gets to do something fun don't worry about it I got you what is he gonna do fire both of us yeah he will yes he absolutely will I think it looks great thank you available on shop dot tango studios com Joe doesn't know but it's up there right now also that also these new hats no it's not it can be do want it? So he's not that much of a narcissist till have his name not his face. Okay. I
Starting point is 00:20:49 Think it look I think it looks really good. Yeah, that's a very that's a very breathable shirt Boy oh boy. Yeah, I kind of like that. I appreciate the Thank you First are those leggings? Got it. Yeah, well you thought they were jeans. I didn't know what it was you thought I would Jeans you always say you think those is what you think it was James are you think of putting your plaster in your noble monikas? Don't even know what that means knickers those are pants. I'm your pants Joey chill chill chill their pants. They're pants Joey. Chill. Chill. Chill. I'm not seeing a friend. I did. There was a very obvious CK in there.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Yeah. Oh boy, honey. Funny story. Your second favorite CK behind Louie. I would say that, um, hold on, hold on. There was a funny story about that night. Dude, I have a relationship. Joey, there's nothing funny about that night. Let me be very clear. There's nothing weird, wacky, kooky. You went with your fucking other big billionaire friends and had food and drank wine. Nothing weird happened. No, I know that. You're not fucking quirky because you went to Lisbon or the Azeroth skis or whatever the fuck they're called. I don't know what that is, but it sounds really cool. It kind of does. Like, you're going to like fucking, oh, what did we do? we went and we had phoned up fish in a dish as big as my hand in a cave in Portugal
Starting point is 00:22:09 fucking weird dude wild and wacky that sounds fire and your jealous bitch not jealous your jealous I am a little sorry sorry I did her in a cool place well don't apologize to me I apologize to your fucking tweet the tweet was bad if you but I stand by the sentiment. The sentiment is okay, but I have to keep it frank here, bitch. You can't do something like that and not expect a fucking cattle clade of shit to come raining down on you. I cattle clade.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Cattle, bitch. Cattle. Well, I don't, I honestly didn't know that word. Yeah, well, maybe, you know, maybe they didn't teach that and fucking, if it was in Portuguese, I bet you'd know. Probably. You stupid Portuguese fuck first of all Racist that not racist their white Yeah, are they yeah, all right. Don't look at them
Starting point is 00:22:55 I don't know yeah but That so that dinner when you like show up there like the chef comes out and they have like a garden So yeah, I you again told me this story. Frankie, this is a different show. Stupid whore. Now I'm not telling it. Now I'm not telling it. I'll tell the story as Joey. I'll tell the story as Joey. Here you go. Watch this. Frankie. Frankie, you know what? Here's here's something. Here you go. Here you go. I went and like they picked stuff for
Starting point is 00:23:22 urns from the garden and I fucking they kept giving me stuff to try like mint And blah blah blah so I put it in my pocket and when I went to pay I forgot I had all the mint leaves in my pocket and all They fucking went out all over everywhere and we laughed hysterically at the fucking people who were getting paid You know basically nothing in order to serve us dinner. Ha ha ha ha ha hysterical I'm actually glad I opened my shirt because it's hot in here in order to serve us dinner. Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Historical! I'm actually glad I opened my shirt because it's hot in here. You're a fucking whore. No, that tweet Joey knocked you down so many pegs.
Starting point is 00:23:59 So many pegs. It didn't though, Frank. Joey, that tweet is the worst- That's the worst tweet I've ever seen. Really? Up there. I'm's the worst tweet I've ever seen Really? Up there. I'm gonna go find a bunch of tweets from me from world leaders. Oh, yeah, those are bad too But like I'm not saying like this isn't gonna inside a riot Yeah, but it was pretty it was pretty. Oh, I can definitely find shit that you've written by the way That was the most sexual reaction to what I was gonna say.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Oh, like what? I don't think I've ever written it. I think one thing that I did tweet like in like 2012 was like hot rain is horny. What? Yeah, something like that. What's hot rain? Like being the rain is sexy or something like that.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Are you gonna look? It's coming off of me. Are you gonna look up this? Take the shirt off, dude. But I have to say, I'm putting a cap on keeping it frank. Listen Joey I am so happy you had all this fun, but you need to be very realistic. You didn't do anything weird wacky cookie You were out there eating food. Hey drinkin real quick. Now we're gonna get into something real okay Here we go. You just
Starting point is 00:25:01 Okay, here we go! You just... You didn't let me tell a story that I told on a completely different thing, which most of the people who watch this can't see, but you've just repeated 1,000 times that I've... That you didn't do anything weird. I know. I said that. I'm on your team. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna tell you right now. You know what you're gonna do?
Starting point is 00:25:24 Shut the fuck up Anyway, square space Fuck you I Can try the fuck you don't fuck that you don't I will say hot in here. It is on here. I will say it glad to have you back Hey, thanks, buddy. Very very glad Whoo, okay, we do have square space it's more space Squarespace guys, this is where you're gonna create your websites, okay? You got a domain name good Space guys this is where you're gonna create your websites, okay? You got a domain name good You can buy one through Squarespace though, but Squarespace is amazing. That's where they make you can make your website They have a lot of templates that you can use
Starting point is 00:26:12 Dude, it's point. It's really literally pouring off of me right now. Can you go can you get me a paper towel, please? Can I or will I may you yeah? Yeah, may you. Yeah. I don't know. I will. I got it. All right, thanks. But Squarespace, create your websites with Squarespace.
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Starting point is 00:27:27 Okay. We also have Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is going to, it's going to get you looking good, okay? Great. You want to have nice style? You want to have new clothes every month? You want to stop sweating like me? It ain't going to happen. With Stitch Fix, you can go on to their site? It ain't going to happen. Which stitch fix, you can go onto their site.
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Starting point is 00:28:45 Portugal stories, Joe and I screaming at each other more, maybe some cute little hugs and kisses that we give each other. I don't know, I'm not going to tell you for sure if those things are there, but you'll find out if you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard, folks, because of you guys, all of our supporters, patrons and non patrons, you've propelled us to in the top 10 in the world And last I checked after hitting 26,000 patrons. Thank you so much We are at number seven and listen folks. We ain't stopping until we clapin at the top And you know what I'm saying? So go check it out patreon.com size of basement yard
Starting point is 00:29:17 We are really appreciative of everything and everyone that has supported us You sign up for that first year you get these weekly weekly episodes, one week in advance, seven whole days, just for your sweet virgin eyes. And then that second tier, well that's where you get, not only those weeklies in advance, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with the base vineyard.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Summers over, it doesn't mean that the fucking life is over Page on comm slash the base vineyard sign up today. Let's fucking rock to 27 rock Let's rock let's rock all right. I got to tell you a dream. I had dreams Portugal what what what else is going you know? This is a Joe episode. It is it it is. But this is a big one. All right. So then you write it down. Of course.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Yes. So you know, I was just going to say that. You know how sometimes I have dreams and I wake up and I go, this is weird. So I start writing notes. Yes. Like, for instance, one of them, you told, just to lead people into what these could potentially be,
Starting point is 00:30:22 Joey was eating his own dick like a chicken wing. For God's sake. I'm literally like, yeah. into what these could potentially be. Joey was eating his own dick like a chicken wing. For god of bouts. Literally like, yeah, and it was so tender. Yeah, well, that's, it's a dick. It is. But you would think. I would think it'd be chewy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:37 But anyway, so I have notes, but like, this isn't the funny part. The funny part is the whole thing. Can I answer a question before you get into that big time? What does gaming mean? Gaming? When people were like, oh, that mean it's so gaming. People say it all the time and I'm like, yeah, no fucking clue. I think like it's like like what's that like strings like stringy. I don't think what that's not meat. I don't know Meat's not stringy, then it's not meat. Wait, it could be no
Starting point is 00:31:01 Sure, look it up. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, I'm just gonna keep using it without maybe they mean gay meat Oh! Should I look it up? No. Yeah. Yeah. Gain meat. Well, I'm just gonna keep using it without knowing what I mean. Maybe they mean gay meat. It was gay and I like, oh, don't eat that deer. It's fucking gay meat. It's gay meat.
Starting point is 00:31:11 It's gay meat. It's gay meat. It's gay meat. Oh, that, what, that, a buck? Don't do it. Don't do it. It's fucking. Eat the dough, don't be gay.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Yeah. Uh, eating, that's a really good question. If you think about it, most animals that we eat are the female animals. Is it gay to eat male animals? One, no, two, what? Yeah, I think about it. Wait, do we only eat females?
Starting point is 00:31:34 Oh, think about the, the animals we eat, they're all the female versions. Chickens, cows. That's all I got. Cool. He's basing the whole thing off the two animals. Okay, so this is dream, right? Mind you, this is way off the wine.
Starting point is 00:31:49 So I'm having weird dreams every night, basically. You're going through your fucking... How's your liver field, by the way? A better. I'm detoxing. Okay, good. Is that why you're sweating this much? No, it's just because of that. It does smelling alcohol in here. It doesn't. It's shut off.
Starting point is 00:32:02 But anyway, I had a dream... Greg was actually in it. So I't shut up. But anyway, I had it, so I had a dream Greg was actually in it. So I forget who I was with. I was with somebody. A really good friend. Who could it be? A really good friend? It could be anybody. Anybody in the world. Any but. So you want to be in it? I'm not going to commit to saying yes yet. Tell me what the story was. Oh, it's not, it has nothing to do with that. Okay, so then yeah, it was me. Okay, so me and you, we're like walking and we're going to Greg's parents house. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:34 And I was trying to like warn you of being like, oh, Greg's parents, like they're one of the copper people. What? Yeah, yeah. That seems pretty racist, Joe. Especially because copper is brown. Oh, God. So I said, okay. So I was like, yeah, you're, they're parents from other copper people.
Starting point is 00:32:55 And you knew what I was talking about. Of course. So in this world, like people knew who the copper people was. Yeah. And it was like a religious thing. Okay. So like, have you ever seen the fucking statues of like Joseph where he has like a protractor and he's got like a lion with him?
Starting point is 00:33:10 Not a protractor. Whatever that is. Like a fucking angle thing. Like a white egg. I can do it all. I can hurt sheep and fucking tum in the angle of an isosceles. Yeah. Cool. It was something like that. So you know how like that color. So that's copper. Yeah. I know exactly what you're referencing. It's not really copper. It's more brown copper is like a lighter bronze. Bronze is the right word. So anyway, we come up to the house and Greg's dad comes out.
Starting point is 00:33:38 And he's not really walking. He's just gliding. Well, you know how the copper people be, babe? And he's dressed like Joseph, the father of God. Oh, no, the father of Jesus. Don't ask me. I'll take anything you say here as being true. And he's covered head to toe in paint, like copper paint.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Well, Joey, and a shiny. It's the copper guy. Picture, like, you remember in Space Balls where Mel Brooks was, I forget his name. Yeah, yogurt. But remember he was like painted like that? Yeah, that's what. Yeah, he was like painted sort of.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Yes, I remember. He looked like that. Okay. So, I was like, yeah, he's one of the copper people. Of course he is. And there was like this thing that we all knew that like people don't do this anymore because the pain is dangerous. So is this meant to be a cult?
Starting point is 00:34:27 Is it a religious set? It's just a super religious thing. It would be like, I'm assuming it would, oh, it's my dream, I don't know. But I feel like I assume it's kind of like if someone had his sit-up parents, he'd be like, oh, they're gonna be wearing a certain type of thing and that's why.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Because, hey, this're gonna be wearing a certain type of thing, and that's why, because. Yeah. Hey, this wine fucked you up. Yeah, I did. And I'm not even at the best part. They talked weird. God, how did they talk? God, please, please tell me, like, through an impression. Give me a sentence to say.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Short though, not creative. Short sentence, I need to go pick up some milk. Okay. You know what's weird? Every time I told this story to someone, they mentioned groceries. Well, isn't that weird? Well, the copper people love to buy food.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Yeah. So, the ad comes out and they talk, like, yeah, go. Just do it. I'm gonna go like this. I think I'll go like this right I think like this they go What You kidding me? You ever see galaxy quest no, it's kind of like how they talking that dude
Starting point is 00:35:34 So everything he would say it sounded like that. It's like oh, that's like a bird and I was like dude What is this dream like Greg's dad is one of the copper people. He reminds me of like in SpongeBob where he's like, I can't under, yeah, you. Yeah, but they were just like, no, no, no, had dreamed of the cover of people before. Yeah. And I was like, so let me get this straight. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:10 So you had a dream about a shade of brown type of people that wear clothes that you don't necessarily wear, that talk a funny way, and you ridicule them? No one ridiculed them. You're not doing yourself any f**kers. No one ridiculed them. OK, so how did you feel about the way that Greg's dumbass dad spoke? You said dumbass and your dream is dumb. Why is he dumb?
Starting point is 00:36:30 Talk like that you're an idiot. I guess No, I don't know it was just like a known thing. I was like, oh, yeah, that's normal. They're copper people Is that the whole dream? Yeah, that's very this I would almost Like prefer the dream of you eating your dick. Yeah. Because that you can at least be like, I could put on my therapist shirt and just be like, oh, he's doing something where he feels like his masculinity is being consumed by media. You know, we're attacked.
Starting point is 00:36:59 The fuck does that mean? What in God's name can I pull from this? I don't know. Was speaking of masculinity actually I Saw a video. Oh boy I'm just gonna fucking say it but like you know those dudes who do the that one podcast Um Are they white? No, oh, okay there's none to three. Um, I, yeah, no. I forget the name of it honestly.
Starting point is 00:37:25 But it's like, he's one of the main dudes who's like, he's not an anti-tutate, but he's like, everyone hates him because of the shit that he says. Jordan Peterson? No, no, no. It's not like, he's white. Yeah, I know. No, but anyway, it's like him and his boy.
Starting point is 00:37:39 I forget the, whatever. But anyway, he's on a different show. He's talking to a woman and she asks him if he goes down on women. He's like, no, I don't do that. Oh boy. And then he goes, it's not this really funny.
Starting point is 00:37:54 He's like, no, I haven't done that since 2014. Like, he's talking about like the last time you threw up. Basically, he's like, I haven't done this since December 6, 2014. But he's like, I'm done since 2014. And she's like, what, why? And he goes, because the female vagina is disgusting. What a fucking prude. What a loser.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Female vaginas. Well, yeah, compared to the male vaginas, obviously, bro, honestly, are butts? Is that our vagina? No, I think we where our vagina is, it's like, soed up. You know, like that's why there's like that little line in our gooch, you know what I'm talking about? That like, and dicks are clits.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Did you know that? Yes, I do. They're just big ol' fattle. Some of us a lot, big ol' fattle. Yeah, bigger ol' and fatter. You know how clits? Bigger than you think. Yeah, we did an episode in Santa got a studio
Starting point is 00:38:42 to check out on YouTube, where it was like, it's like four and a half inches I was like fucking what what I've not where is this thing? It's so funny that you actually bring up a video. I actually Found a video so Do you remember the video? religious Media is never really like doing itself any favors online, you know like they never like produce like like, are you gonna talk about the Dalai Lama kissing that boy? No, we did a couple a while ago, but like I was gonna bring up, remember that song?
Starting point is 00:39:10 It was like in like a 2006, the video came out in like 2011, 12, 13, but it was from like a 2006 recording and it was Jesus Christ is my Oh, and word yeah, and word yeah, and religious people not to do themselves any favors with, you know, the music choice that they're doing. I found it was a slap. I found a religious song that I wanted to show you, and I want you to tell me what you think of it. Some religious songs are bangers.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Like what? Anything by Creed. And you, I'm talking about it in the church. I fuck no. Yeah, it did'm talking about it in the church. Fuck no! Yeah, it did. What's cool in a church? My grandma used to sing this song and it was fucking heat. And it never hits her tooth on the beach.
Starting point is 00:39:53 No, they're too preachy. I don't want that. I want to hear like fucking, like I want some bass. Also, you deserve it by JJ Harrison. That's a banger. You deserve it. I actually, yeah, it's- What song is that?
Starting point is 00:40:04 I don't, I mean, you wouldn't know it. But like like I was in Orlando with my family and I was driving and I accidentally put on the gospel channel and this song was on and I was like, hold on. Yeah. And that shit was hard. Yeah. And then I listened to it. Like I thought it was like in my Spotify wrapped, like it was like one of the top. I was so hurt when I found out about Creed being like gospel rock, but then I listened to them again. And I was like, it's Creed. Like they can do it. They're allowed to. But all all right listen to this and I want your honest opinion okay the artist So it's a bot, but I'm a jerk off. So it's buying wavy mat. Wavy mat. That's what he calls himself. Gotta say, beat pretty sick. Yeah, no, got it. It's got a good message.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Stop jerking off. Well, like he's saying, like, put your hand on the Bible and then stop jerking off. Why is it like, can you answer something for me? You're a former church guy. It's more like a church. I didn't leave. The church, like, it's not like Scientology.
Starting point is 00:41:19 You definitely left the church, Joey. Well, I just haven't been back. You had to run away from it. No one did. It got out of there. It was quick as you could. Nope. What is the whole idea with like jerking off as a sin? Explain that to me honestly. You're asking me dude, I'm just one of the guys. You ask God. But he fucking speaks through you so like tell me what he said. Yeah, I mean if I had to guess it's like your com is sacred, like save it for the fucking...
Starting point is 00:41:45 A lot of, I feel like a lot of religions is like, for the most part, it's like, it's only for procreation. So like, that's why cremarydals sex, you're not supposed to have. But what if cremarydals sex is for procreation? It still are supposed to be married. Why? Because people get married in churches back then, and not just like in Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:42:04 Yeah, on a beach surrounded by screaming seagulls. Yeah. Yeah. There is no God there. In Hawaii, it sounds like there's pretty much God over there. All right, we got more. You're like the guy with the Holy Spirit. I'm as you don't, then this is not going to never end. I thought you knew, huh? Why, Jesus, can you see what you do? What would you say? He said, I thought you knew, huh? Jesus Christ can see what you do. Yeah, they say he's always with you,
Starting point is 00:42:37 unless you're taking a big shit. I mean, why wouldn't he be there? Sometimes that's where you need him the most. Yeah, it's true. Please God, just get me through this shit. And he goes, it's like, my son, you got this. Yeah, right? Let me put my finger in your ass, loosen it up a little bit.
Starting point is 00:42:53 OK. That's what they do with babies. Not fingers, like, cutips and stuff. What? Yeah, some babies that get like, like, constipated, like, people have to put like, cutips in there, but Call on me. Um Anyone got any questions here?
Starting point is 00:43:08 Okay, all right Joe Have you put a Q-tip in your child's ass? No, I'm not how to do it for that. Oh, thank God But I know of people that have had to do it for their children. That is intense Could you imagine? I've heard some like fucking bad stories of like it's tough for me because I don't have a kid And I assume when I have a kid it's like yeah, of course I would do anything for my dude of course from an outside perspective It's like you're sure my cute tip in there That's not the part that is the shooting of fire or or I've heard of people that have had to like shovel poop out of a put Out of a but yeah, how do you do that like a like I'm so badly
Starting point is 00:43:43 Consipated that like it's like half in, half out. And then you need to like, have you ever been constipated? Me? Yeah. No. I'm like fucking, I'm like fucking fountain's a Wayne.
Starting point is 00:43:54 You don't need to worry about me. Is the band? I'm like, fountain's a Wayne, Stacy's mom. That's what I've like. I'm like, it's gonna be sick.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Wait, that's a band. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, I've never been constipated.'s mom. That's what I've learned. I'm like, it's good to see. Wait, that's a bad. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, I've never been constipated of you. Yeah, and I, literally that's, that sounds like, at that point, that's what I was getting close to doing. Pulling poop out of your own mouth. I was trying to figure out a way to stretch my arms long enough
Starting point is 00:44:17 that I could actually grab into my ass. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, shovel out. What do you mean stretch your arms long enough? You just fucking get in boy missionary position, and you're fucking, you can just pull poop out, can't you? Boy missionary? Yeah, when boys are on their back and pull their legs up, so they can get fucked in the butt.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Oh, oh, oh. Oh. Pfft. Yeah, I just, I wanted to get it all out. It was a tough day. Oh, you've only been constipated once? Yeah, then I can remember. Oh, well, I'll tell you, I don't know if you saw this, Joey.
Starting point is 00:44:46 There's someone that is very much so not constipated. You heard about that Delta flight. We're gonna get to that little bit once. Do me a favor. Before we talk about someone having a massive amount of excrement on a plane, get to our ads. We do have some ads for today. Rocket money.
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Starting point is 00:49:12 Houghton here and getting by the way you've been to four countries here Canada Greece and port port to gal Technically I've been to France Okay, well there you go five Joey. We're gonna get that we're gonna get that up into the 20s You're gonna your world traveler here babe. What's the next trip? What's the next country? No, I do. Yeah, take some time here. Enjoy, enjoy here.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Live a little here. Maybe Dublin. Dublin, you got Dari. Go to Ouyo-Lin. Oh, that's Ireland, that's right, that's not, you know. But yeah, so I don't know if you saw, there's the Delta flight. Did see.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Atlanta to, what was it, Spain? Barcelona. Barcelona? Barcelona. Barcelona. Barcelona. Barcelona. So, I ran into Barcelona. Yep. And they had to emergency turn around, turn around, because someone got explosive diarrhea
Starting point is 00:49:58 all through the cabin. So when I originally saw the story, I thought it was funny. It was like someone got diarrhea so bad You know that they had to turn the plane around Did you see the plane? That's when it got scary. It looked like it was a shining fucking set If you guys look up the pictures to this thing it looks like the lady Ran down the aisle
Starting point is 00:50:20 Spreading her at because it wasn't lady by the way. That makes it worse lady poop sucks spreading her at because it was a lady by the way spreading it makes it worse lady poop sucks It's true if it was a guy people would be like oh fuck that would be way worse. No if it was a way worse for a woman You think women shit worse than men are you insane? No, but they're women so they're shit sucks more You know what I'm saying? No, I don't yeah, you know what I'm saying. I feel like a man Like with like a dirty hair No, because women they just you know They got more complicated hormones and shit. You don't know what's in it. It's a shit
Starting point is 00:50:52 Hey, you never know you don't you don't know is what I'm saying. I know. Yeah, do you yeah? Yeah, no, you know But anyway, it looks like this woman was running down the the fucking plane with her asshole open shitting over the floor because it literally was tracking. Eh, what now, I, they have to, how many planes, like how many bathrooms are there on planes, normally? Two or three? There's usually two, but on international flights,
Starting point is 00:51:17 there's definitely more. Really? Yeah. Cause they're bigger planes? Yeah. That's, bro. One of the planes, when I went to France, which is right next to fucking Spain, basically, the plane had six, so there was two on each side.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Yeah, but there were more people. There were two on the back. More people, the ratio for bathroom for person. There's more people on those international flights, right? They're bigger planes and stuff like that. Sure, but do you know how much of a fucking nightmare this is? I would lose it dude dude? Anyone on that flight
Starting point is 00:51:49 Whether you're the the shit E the shit or or whatever everyone suffered. Everyone suffered They brought the plane back they turned around they brought the plane back They cleaned it for five hours ripped up the carpet Get the fuck and put in the carpet in How do you not just TNT dynamite thing and get a new plane dude? Just fucking get you got to get rid of that thing who wants to go back on the poop plane? That's what I'm saying also and the only reason why I know this is right before we got here I was KFC from Barcel put up a video the woman
Starting point is 00:52:20 Got so they clean the plane and then everyone got back on the plane. She got back on the plane and went to Barcelona I brought I'm not going outside for a month get the fuck out of here Joe he imagined the woman next to his one who shittled over the plane and then she comes and sits back down. I'd be like She sits down. She sits down. She's like Feel so much better I hope you don't bitch. Oh my god. Do you think they had to have given her a free flight like refunded her or charged her for the I would have charged it's refunded. No, dude. It's not this woman's fault She clearly is the fucking she's a victim here Joey of Diadoodle a diadoodle chat chat chat. Whatever your fucking family calls it
Starting point is 00:52:58 Yeah, I this this is the biggest nightmare because guess what no matter they were, they had to turn back around and they had to sit in a cabin, a fucking shit. Poop everywhere, dude. And you know people got sick. You know, dude, you know that people got sick. What are you, what was that? What? You know, you know. Jesus, that pissed me off. You know, you know! Jesus, that pissed me off.
Starting point is 00:53:26 You know, you know, you know. You know people got sick. I would have thrown. No one has that powerful of a stomach to not get fucking just absolutely not like dude. Sitting in a basically like a tin can for, let's say they were halfway there. They weren't. They were still over the US. Okay, an hour Terrible also give this woman the fucking bathroom. What are you doing in there that you can't if someone knocks on the door and is like open the fuck up
Starting point is 00:53:54 Oh, she had pooped on the way so she was already fucking shit out of one maybe she shit at the Front of the thing and then as the planes take like going it like dribbled Well, we can get disgusting. Get forensic Frank on the case. We can look at the fucking, you know, the spatter. The spatter, yeah. We can look at the spatter. Where the satellites are coming from. That's actually splatter, we're both dumb.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Yeah, well, it doesn't matter. Blood spatter. No, I think it's, I honestly, I know both words can be used, but they mean different things. We're talking about poop. It doesn't matter. True. Get forensic Frank on the case, and I'll tell you exactly where she was running.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Yeah, that's fucked, man. Oh my God. I've almost shared myself on planes. Definitely almost pissed myself on multiple planes. Well, fucking on the way to Puerto Rico. I almost peed so hard on myself. But that's not as bad. Like peeing yourself.
Starting point is 00:54:40 You almost, yeah, but you would have pissed my mosa all over yourself, because. Oh no, I would have smelled great. Yeah. I would have smelled like champagne and orange juice. Yeah. Yeah, that was, oh man, what's quite a flight. But yeah, if I shit my pants on an airplane, I'm not going
Starting point is 00:54:57 outside. I'm not going to Barcelona. I'm just going to stay put. And you know what sucks is that like, plane, like the first and last name of that person, not their first name, but like the first and last initial is like available. So people can just use like simple, like deductive, like reasoning and figure out exactly
Starting point is 00:55:14 who this person is. I mean, why does anyone care that much? You think people aren't gonna care who pooped themselves on a plane like this? This is a major fucking story, Joey. By the way, I'm just gonna say this, if this had been you, for instance, you'd never thought.
Starting point is 00:55:28 If I was with you, right? Yeah. And you shit yourself on a plane so bad that it made the news, and it was whatever we had to turn around, whatever, I would hand you a briefcase of $50,000. Oh, really? Yeah, I was. Oh, I thought you were gonna say, like you never talked me ever again. No, I would be like a briefcase of $50,000. Oh really? Yeah, I would.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Oh, I thought you were going to say, like, you never talked me ever again. No, I would be like, thank you so much for this experience. Really? Frankie, that's the funniest thing in the whole world. Joey, no way. You would hate my fucking guts. At the time, but afterwards, I'm like, dude, you're famous. You shit all over.
Starting point is 00:55:59 You know how, and you know what I would do with that briefcase? I'd buy a fucking pistol and some ammunition. That would be, for me, that would be fucking embarrassing. And you know what I would do with that briefcase I'd buy a fucking pistol and some ammunition That would be for me that would be fucking embarrassing that's For anybody apparently not this woman though. She was like I'm gonna get back I gotta go to fucking She walks on like a celebrity she's like hey guys. I'm alright. I really want to know what she looks like For some reason I'm gonna judge her. All right, I wanna judge her by her shit,
Starting point is 00:56:27 like how bad her shit was. Of course, 100%. Let's imagine here, her race. Oh, I hope she's right. Yeah, she's gotta be. I mean, the whites are down bad and they need to stay down there, you know what I'm saying? No, but maybe it was like a, it definitely wasn't an Asian woman.
Starting point is 00:56:50 I know that. Bro, I don't think any Asian woman has ever pooped in the history of existence. I don't think they ever pooped their pants. I don't think they're allowed. And if they do, it's like a little fart squirt. And they're like, they like do that little Asian look. Yeah, that's racist, but I don't know. No, it's about, we're talking about cartoons.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Yeah, they can't be racist against cartoons. And well, of course, yeah, no Asian woman has ever pooped in their entire life because they would be disowned by their family. No Russians. Russians don't poop, poop Russians, you know what I'm saying? That makes no negative sense. Maybe it could have been, it could have been...
Starting point is 00:57:25 It's gotta be, I mean, if we're thinking it's... It's gotta be white. White? They had like airport food. Could be Latino though. Could be. Well, Latinac Joey, come on. Or Latinx.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Latinx. Latinx. Thanks. Yeah. Maybe Mexican, I don't know. Could the tacos and burritos, you're really going that route Joey. You You said that I did I can say it though. Do you know why? Yeah, you all right as long as we know. Yeah
Starting point is 00:57:55 Imagine it was like you're dead Bro, if I found out that it was my mom I'd be like, Melissa and I love you But we can't talk for a couple months. I would feel so bad for my mom Yeah, your mom doesn't poop. Yeah, like I'd be like, Ma, listen, I love you, but we can't talk for a couple months. I would feel so bad for my mom. Yeah, your mom doesn't poop, dude. Yeah, like I'd be like, oh my god, she's never gonna leave the house again. Yeah, my mom, I can't imagine if it was me. Bro, can you imagine that? You have to get like new clothes because you imagine that everything is ruined that you're wearing.
Starting point is 00:58:21 I would also like, if I knew, like, I'm gonna, now I'm gonna shit all over myself, all over this plane. Even if I was wearing shorts, I would like grip all of it. Oh, I would like take my shirt off. I think a moat base, I think the point is it was liquid. She couldn't have contained it. I know, but I'd be like, I just like get it all over me. I would like, I wouldn't let it go for the plane. This is the fucking the the the
Starting point is 00:58:46 Cross you are willing to bear you broke that mother fucking door bro I don't care if someone's sitting on that toilet. I'm getting into that room and I'm going on that Either everyone's gonna get shit on or just you I will say there have been instances where I've been in a bathroom waiting to use A stall and they've all been booked. Oh no. And I've been like, oh, worst case scenario, one of these urinals is getting it. Never happened though. Have you ever had to be like, man, I'm really struggling to a strain? No, no, I never have. Have you?
Starting point is 00:59:16 I don't think so. No, that would be, if you got a voice at that point in time, then it's like there's trouble of brewing, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's rough. Yeah, yikes. There has been times where I'm like, if there's someone in this time and it's like there's trouble of brewing, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's rough. Yeah, yikes. There has been times where I'm like, if there's someone in this bathroom, it's going down. Oh, like you're just like getting them out of the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Yeah, this is a Hail Mary. Like someone better not be in there, otherwise it's going down. And thank God it's like worked out. You have to like practice breathing, like, just chill. And you start praying. You're just like, oh, I got me through this.
Starting point is 00:59:44 So you believe in God only when you have to shoot your pants or when I'm throwing up Got you. Yeah, when I'm throwing up, and I'm like I'll be a better person. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, I like who's the patron saint of shitting your pants that I don't know Yeah, that's a good question. I'm saying Anthony our St. Francis. We know that yeah, it's gotta be like fucking like St. Bart Yeah, I was thinking Bartholomey as well. Look at us. It was a barf. Barf reminds me of a butt sound. Like a pre-poop fart. Barf.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Yeah. Barf. How you pooping over there? What was that? Barf. I'm saying pre. I'm feeling good. Very hot in here, Joey.
Starting point is 01:00:19 I know, I know, I know. We can leave. Frank, thanks so much for showing up today. I appreciate you, man. I don't know why I said that. Yeah, where know, I know. We can leave. Frank, thanks so much for showing up today. I appreciate you, man. I don't know why I said that. Yeah, where else would I? I thought you guys would get those hats. Shout out to St. August Studios.
Starting point is 01:00:31 There's also a mint green one. There's a mint green one. Shop.Sanagostudios.com, these nice pastel hats. They're beautiful, nice and summary for the end of the time. This is gonna be on the picture right here on the website, like that's like. It's not, but, oh come on. Let me have one.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Shop.Sanagostudios.com. Frank, where can I find you? If I have a Z85 on Twitter, the Frank Alvers on Instagram, and then go check out the base menu on an all forms of social media, as well as Patreon. Patreon.com slash the base menu I do sign up today. You get this weekly episode, the weekly events,
Starting point is 01:00:57 that's second tier, you get those exclusive episodes every single Friday, and thank you for getting this at 26,000, we're gonna be really, really, really quickly, a person, 27,000, we want to thank every single person, we want to thank every single person that's gonna be going signing up at another point in time Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Joey back to you That's my last and bit of energy that I have. Yeah, I'm going to crumble You I feel like you could be one of those horse racer guys
Starting point is 01:01:18 And then here comes a little shit of it again Go first and take it out third leg. It's gonna be with me real quick if you had a horse. What would you name it? Flint, Mac and Tosh First and taking out third lag and it's gonna be with me. Real quick, if you had a horse, what would you name it? Flint Macintosh. What's that from? I don't know. It's literally the very first thing that came to my mind. What about you? I feel like the Betsy.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Like that. Yeah. I do. Flint. Flint Macintosh. Yeah. Who's to do it from clarity with a chance of meatballs? Flint. Flint McIntosh. Yeah. Who's the dude from Cloudy with a chance of meatballs? Flint. Wait a sec.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Is that McIntosh? He's, he seems flint something. Is it Flint McIntosh? Now I gotta look this up. Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. That first movie? Fire. Second one's good too.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Not as good. The first one is Flint Lockwood. Flint Lockwood. Lock Lockwood. Close, close, close, close. Okay. Well, anyway, you guys can follow me. Follow me at Joe San Diego. Iwood, close, close, close, close. Okay. Well, anyway, you guys can follow me. I'm Joe Sandigan, I'll go follow the show
Starting point is 01:02:09 on TikTok and Instagram at the base of New York. And that is all. See you guys next time. Ha! I could have went longer, but I stopped. Thank God. Ha! Thank God.

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