The Basement Yard - #417 - I Can Smell Numbers

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Frankie attempts to explain how people can smell colors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. I'm here with my guest Jimmy Buffett God damn come on. I was gonna my plan was to start sad and then talk about the jets but Now you made me start even more sad because we lost our icon Jimmy Buffett That was like a month ago. I feel like it's like two weeks ago, wasn't I think it was when you were in Portugal So you definitely didn't you didn't know what was happening Yeah, yeah, you were you were on another plane of existence things happen. I saw something recently that like there's a You know like an influencer online like an influencer online. Make myself sound more like a fucking boomer.

Who's like, people are mad at her because she took just like a provocative picture and she was like thinking of Jimmy Buffett today. And it was like, what the fuck, yeah, like what do you like RIP Jimmy Buffett, you know the way that people always just like do something to make themselves sound more important and involved like people should reach out to them when someone dies. Like that. But man, I love that one song. I know I have his changes in latitude,

changes in attitudes album, and it's good. It's, I don't know, dude. Yeah, well. I just like the drink. Margarita's, I don't think, did he, he make up Margaritaville, like the Margarita drink? Definitely not, right? I believe that was the Hispanics.

The Mexicans? Could be. Go ahead, say it. I don't know that it's the... Say it with the contempt that I know you have. Max, I can't just... No. No, I don't know.

I don't know. I didn't make that giant Margarita machine, though. What? You've never seen his margarita machine? Like, they're like margarita makers. It's called like the Jimmy Buffett margarita maker. I would love a margarita maker. That's what I'm saying all the time, dude.

I love margaritas. I gotta say, I used to be such a big slut for frozen margs. Me too. But then I had one on the rocks. Better, in my opinion. What? Frozen is rocks. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, like liquid. Like frozen is like a slushy.

On the rocks is like they make the drink and they poured over ice. Yeah, yeah, I usually have that. I don't only get frozen marks. Oh, I thought that was like, until I turned like 23, I had only had frozen marks. No, I get frozen marks when it's a hot, hot day. It is, because it melts.

Well, because it's cold. One of my favorite Margarita stories was, um, you have Margarita stories. Of course. I have Margarita stories. He's got a vault of Margarita stories. The first time, um, we went as like friends to Miami when I had gotten, because remember all those places, I was like, I didn't know where to that was weird. Like, we've been there before. But as like friends to Miami when I had gotten because remember all those places I'm worried that was weird like we've been there before but as not friends

Not friends or lovers. No because I had been to Miami prior to when we all went Yeah, but like the first time we went and on ocean drive, you know They have all those food places and it's always buy one get one free on the drinks It's like 20 bucks and the drinks are fucking you get some fat marks there you get like a like a fucking liso-sized drink You know what I'm saying? No one likes her anymore. I can say it Just a bigger size drink What was what you're not they can't hear him Joey's been holding me ransom. He can't say anything right now honestly

I can hear you but I wonder how long that was out. I think you knocked it out. There's no way I did that in one foul swoop. Foul swoop? Is that it? Fail swoop? One foul swoop? One fail swoop.

It's not fail. I think it's fail. You also like almost saying soup. It's swoop. Whatever it is. One foul, one fail swoop. I meant that it's just a larger drink when I said it's swoop. Whatever it is. It's foul. One fail soup. I meant that it's just a larger drink when I said it's a liso-sized.

I know what you meant. Would you think, of course I know that's what you meant. Well, right now is the time to make the jokes because everyone's mad at Liso. When people get mad at people, that's when you can make the most jokes about them. Okay, you know. But it was the Corona ones.

It had two full Corona's in it. Yeah, and a fucking giant margarita. I got, remember I got a mango one. Oh, and it came with two. So I finished two of those and I couldn't fucking see straight. I was fucking drunk, dude. Yeah. Very, very, very drunk.

And then we went back to an Airbnb or whatever rental that had no air conditioning. Yeah, yeah, and we had it. It's good times. Remember we had met like like bunch of girls from Texas and we were like from Atlanta. Were they Atlanta? Are you sure I thought I was from Houston? No, I'm pretty sure it was Atlanta. Oh either way And we'd like went in and like rated there huge butts Oh, I wasn't going with I said rated there and you said huge but oh We did rated their asses We took a dung all the shit out. No, we didn't do that's what you said

No one mentioned poop you just what else you were rated as for Joey? What else is it contained? It could be an innuendo. But I was- I mean, I mean to say that, but you- You went with- I don't think sh- I don't think there was anything innuendous about what you said. I think you- there was that work.

It is now. I like the way it sounds. I- I have no qualms with it. How badly did you want to say qualms today? Oh, it sounds like you like you want to say qualms today? Oh, it sounds like you just tried to cut that in. A little bit, a little bit. But yes, so.

Now I'm double sad because of the jets and because of Jimmy Buffett. Thank you for making me double sad. It's okay. No, it's not. This is what people don't understand about being a jet fan. This is the, like you can't be disappointed by something if you live in disappointment

I think you could well you can but like this is the most jets thing to come out of this scenario You know what I mean like he I mean you guys won we did win. Yes great and on a let's be honest great game Yeah, incredible game incredible game but Fucking Aaron Rogers he he lasted what three more plays than Abraham Lincoln, not that, like it's just such a, such a jet thing to happen. I heard that, I got, I didn't make that up, you got it. If you came up with that, we'll just cut these cameras off and we'll just give you a Netflix

special because that isn't incredible So what else I can't take credit for it. That's so funny But like you know like what the fuck here man. Yeah, that's a rough one But you can't be the Jets on 9-11 not in New York. Come on. The bills We played another New York team. I agree. It's a Canadian team at best. Yeah, it is you might as well move them to Vermont or New Hampshire somewhere stupid Also not Canada, but yeah, I know I know that also closer Closer to buffalo is further than Vermont. No, it's not. Yeah, you can be in Vermont quicker than you can be in Buffalo Buffalo is another country really it's on the fucking cusp of Canada on the Another country really it's on the fucking cusp of Canada on the

On the tip. I don't know why that's tip. It isn't Thing though, it isn't though. You know, yeah, no, I've never been up to Buffalo I don't like further north. I've been there's like the cat skills when we went and you got you pooped in the woods remember that No, and that little asshole threw up gummy bears all in our tent. Oh, that's right I did shit in the woods like a shaman bear you did and you did wipe your you told us and everyone here He wiped his ass with his hand. I never said yes, you did now. It's now. It's history now the world believe cut the clip right now Right now joy wipe is asked what is that I actually didn. No, right now. Joy White just asked what to say. I actually didn't wipe my ass with anything and I just kinda like went home and chill.

So you had just like just poop cheeks. It was some poop cheeks. I just, I mean, I'm sure there was some sort of residue. I went home and chillered. Yeah, fucking whatever, it still gross. That walk home was probably just awful. What do you want me to do? Grab a fucking bundle of poison ivy and go to town? Come on, you know a poison ivy looks like you could have wiped your ass

I don't because they say like oh, it's the red stem red stem three. It has red stem red stem three leaves That's it. Nope. Yes I don't have time to count you show me very simple one two three Frank you got it. You got it man. You can do it in the red and what's red, you know red? Is it no? Yeah, it is red is red. I feel like watch this colors our spectrum Frank not for you Maybe for people that are colorblind which I can guarantee you are not Red is red you could have figured it out. Have you ever had someone? Have this conversation with you of being like Red is red. You could have figured it out. Hold on. Have you ever had someone

have this conversation with you of being like this color, right, is blue? Mm-hmm. I see it as blue, but maybe you see it as red. Nope, I see blue. No, I'm gonna, I hate conversations like this, but because they're like the universe is all a subjective fucking goo. I hate this conversation But you get what I mean. I get what you're saying like the blue that I see might be the red in your eyes and stuff like that Stupid isn't that no do you believe it kind of but I hate it

Wait, you think that's possible. Of course I think it's possible. I don't. I think it's horse. So it's either one way or the other for you? No, don't try to make this about something. It's either just spitting out. It's either black or white for you, Joey. It's not what I meant. Nothing in the middle.

I think that colors make you feel something. Yeah, I agree. You ever, like when you look at red and you get hot and hungry, you know? Nope. Yes, yes. You know what I'm saying. You see the color red and you go, I want to eat. Yes, really? Yeah, that's why a lot of, if you look at a lot of like chain restaurants, the color red is prominent.

Yeah, but I don't think it's because it makes the people hungry. No, I'm telling you it does. There have been studies that suggest that like colors elicit certain like brain activity. I know that. Oh, well then listen to what I'm saying. You're not listening to me. I agree. I'm the one who said that I think colors make you feel stuff.

You said hungry. I said whoa. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it makes you, it's I think it makes you feel like that. So let me ask you a question. And I don't know if this would be a good patron episode. So if you think it would be, let's just cut it off here.

But like, if I were to say, because there are people out there that I believe it's called like Tardive Diskinesia or something like that, you who? God bless, who? I believe it's called Tardive or Tardive Discannesia. I'm gonna look it up to confirm, but the idea is that like they can hear colors and they can smell numbers and stuff like that.

What do you think the smelliest number would be? A condition affecting nervous system often caused by long-term use of psychiatric drugs. Wait a second, maybe I'm wrong here. That sounds like it. Okay, maybe, are you talking about like synesthesia? Maybe it's synesthesia. I could be wrong.

Tardivist can use you could be something else. And forgive me if you are out there and you're fucking sniffing blue. But if numbers had a stench, which one would smell like shit? I know my answer. Three. No way.

Sounds like butt, dude. Look at it. It's a big butt. I was gonna say eight. Eight, well yeah, eight two. Eight looks like tits. Yeah, but tits don't smell bad. Yeah, that's why I didn't say eight.

You said eight. But they don't, that, but I, like in your head you have a color associated with a number. What's the best smelling number? Seven or nine Nine I'm pretty sweet. I would sniff a fucking two though. Really? Again with that's weird because that's what people use as poop when they say like got a Drop of juice. There's nothing to do with the way that a number smells though.

Yeah, I would like, two smells probably, like one probably smells like two vanilla. You know what I'm saying? Zero's like a brown smell, like a earthy dirt. Yeah, and we know how much you hate the brown. I would say that like three, four, I hate five, probably pretty good too. Yeah.

If I were to like give you a number, can you tell me the color that comes to your mind? Like if I were to say like nine. Orange. Wow. I was going to say red. We're there. We're in the same book. Okay.

I would say I'll throw a number at you. Okay. Four. Blue. Four is blue for me. I get green. Okay. Well, you know, we're kind of in the same boat again.

How, how though? Well, because guess what, Joey? Guess what's made to make green. Oh, I heard. Blue and yellow. This one? Eight. It's like yellow.

Oh, no, I went purple, babe. Oh, I like, it's a dark one. Don't say it would discuss, because you know purple's my favorite color. I'm not, I like purple. You better. Or what? Or what? I don't like the colors that you like six is also a red

You also don't wear a lot of purple I Well, I don't I I kind of do you also the other day. I was just here You I wore a pair of purple shoes and you go wow those shoes are purple And I go yeah, and you go okay like you didn't say that you liked them or you just like to use that. Oh purple shoes, huh? And you know how I knew it was a thing because Greg said the exact same thing as I was walking out He goes, I see purple shoes all the time. I wear purple shoes purples my favorite color. I like purple Okay, what's your favorite color? Oh Green oh, it is green. I of course it is because right now it's green. Right now. Yeah. It switches. Yeah. Depending on, uh, I don't know. I just, I go through like changes sometimes.

What has sparked another color being your favorite color? I don't know what sparked what has green done to you. I just start liking a color a lot like oh I, and I like start like something tells me you're like a summer yellow guy like the moment like yellow starts to pop in the sun. You're like yeah. I'm not really into yellow too much as the main color. I do like it when it's like a secondary color like that. Yellow on darker skinned men just doesn't work for me. You know what I mean? That's why I like kind of like darker colors,

like purple, blacks, you know. Stuff like that really works well with me. What's funny about that? What is funny about what I said? I have a question for you since we're talking Oh since we're talking we're talking I have a question A scheduled podcast I saw this online and I need to know your opinion. Do you think it's creepy?

Oh God, to watch your boys have an orgy. When you say your boys, my friends. Oh, your unborn sons? Yes, Joey. I'm not saying your unborn. Yes, it would be weird to watch your children have sex in any capacity. Period. We could put the nail in that coffin right now. Okay, good, because I was unsure saying you're unborked. Yes, it would be weird to watch your children have sex in any capacity. Period. We could put the nail in that coffin right now.

Okay, good, because I was unsure where you were going. Well, I hope you knew me enough to know that I would never ask that fucking question. I don't like to assume because you make an ass out of you. You with me, yeah, okay. Well, welcome back to third grade. My dad used to say that. Yeah. And then...

And then he would beat you. Yeah, and then and then he would be you. Yeah Is it weird to like your friends like is it weird to watch your boys? What is what is watch like sit down? I'm there What does watch mean Joey oh either way let's start with if you're there Yeah, yeah, yes, why am I watching? Well, what if they want you to watch? Who your boys? Cool, no, I go no What if they're like why do I don't have time? What if I'm like Joey? I need to talk to you really quick

I need your help with something. I can't get going Unless I'm there unless you're watching me and I know dude you're in love with me. I'm not Well, I'm not gay. I know you just said I'm you're the gay one fucking Ever you just said I can't get going unless you're there. I know maybe this is a time to look in the mirror a little bit No, but all right. I was using myself as a hypothetical there But like what if what if one of your boys like asked you like yo like they they As a group we want you to watch who's there the who true like all the people involved everyone in the origin oh I thought you meant a single day no it's not a singular pronoun I'm going with here Joey I'm going with a collective they okay a group of they them oh yeah okay honestly I've now talked myself out of understanding.

Gotcha. Who is in this room? All right. Yeah. I'm gonna name a couple of your friends. Let me just wipe the slate. Wipe the slate. Go ahead, Cena.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Myself. Yep. Pete. Okay. Geo. You've now put all of equal looks. Okay.

We can throw Espo in there. Okay. And this is a lot of people, Frankie. Okay. Four boys. Yeah. Man, I should say. And then four women. Yeah. You know.

And we're like, watch. So you guys came to me like, yo, it'd be dope if you just sat there and watched. Yeah. I'd be like, it's cooler if I also had a girl. Oh, you want to be a part of the orgy? That's way better than sitting in the corner like a fucking vampire.

I just want to. Just like behind her. I just want to be clear. I do think it's creepy, but for the sake of the comedy. I'm gonna- Just break down the- I broke it. I broke it down.

I have to break it down because sometimes people think that I'm just a fucking crazy person on these shows. So what if people approach you and are like, yo, just watch me. No. Watch me. Watch me. What? Watch me. Watch me. Watch me. Whip.

That's what you were doing. Oh my God. I can cry right now. I can't believe you did that. Oh God. That's so sorry. I'm sorry. Alright. Cut that cut that out Josh Come back. It's just a kid. You're fine. Oh Yeah, Josh had a kid. Yeah, Josh had a kid Congrats, but he that's awesome, but also Josh's right. Yo, it was the most Josh thing in the world like he They had the baby and everything was like fine and then There was like a period of time where I guess he wasn't really active in the chat or something and then out of the corner just goes, this shit is fire. It's all I said, this shit is fire, dude.

So okay, we're watching, you're saying. Yeah. I'd be more inclined to watch strangers though than people I knew. Yeah, because I can walk away from them and never know them or see them again. You know what I mean yeah like if I need to look if I if I watch you have sex every time I see you I'm thinking of you having sex and I don't want you're thinking of my bare butt your bare butt and balls Your bare butt balls single breadball big old Like that's just like that's it. That's all I can think of now. Yeah, not all I can think of but like when I would see you

Yeah, no, it's all you can think of no no what I would see you blow your fucking candles all I can think Oh, yeah, I'd be thinking of that whore mouth of yours is blowing fucking spit all over my cake Because you were in the orgy Joey Why would I be blown out your candles? We do it together as a group Why would I be blown out your candles? No, we do it together as a group. Who? On your birthday, we're all blown out candles.

Everyone blows out candles on birthdays. Like everyone, it's like, come on. No, they don't. Oh, I have kids, so. Like, I don't blow out. So on your birthday, the whole family gets together and forms a whirlwind. Well, the kids do.

So the kids are all blown out the candles at the same time? Yeah. Do you blow them out? Yeah, a little. But I let them do the most of it, you know. Wow, so they take your wishes. Bro, kids love blowing out candles. Do you make birthday wishes?

I haven't made one since my dad left. This? You dad never left. He just went on vacation to Columbia. That was like two years ago. For half the year, every year forever. No, but I didn't really make birthday wishes. Also, over the years, there's just so many different things that you can wish now.

I love that people were just, first of all, I learned. Spear the name. I learned from the, well, our family, they would tell the, like, my mom would be like, do the cross with... Spear the name. I learned from the... Well, our family, they would tell the, like my mom would be like, do the cross with the blade of the knife. I guess it was a Greek thing. Yeah, I'm serious that my mom would,

and anytime she would do it, she would say like in her head like a Greek prayer, not in her hair like in her head like a load. You're saying a prayer in her hair. No, but she'd be like, I'm telling you, I'm not she'd be like, I'm just cutting the fucking cake. Why is she really? Yeah, I swear to this day, I should have it.

Some people have the weirdest birthday fucking traditions and it drives me nuts. What are my favorite TikToks I've seen as the girl that's like, you go to the family and they have a weird second verse of the birthday song? You never see that TikTok? No. Oh my god, it's so fucking funny. And it's like, of the family and they have like a weird like second verse of the birthday song. You never seen that TikTok? No.

Oh my god, it's so fucking funny and it's like, May you always just be granted. Let the good Lord sing. Yeah, it's like, there are people that do that. There are people who are like, alright, cut it, do the first cut and then smear your name. The only thing that I will smash your head in the cake and I'm like, bro, what is that? I learned against that because I've seen people get like steaks in their eyes and shit like that stinks

Stakes Joey steaks I heard stinks no steaks Stakes why is there stakes not not fucking prime rib? I don't think it's not rib there are some bakery. Why are we all in each other? Stakes I'm thinking vampire there are some bakeries that like fucking make their cakes in order to have them not topple over. They put wooden stakes in that. Stakes in the cakes? Yes.

It's not a wooden cake, it's a birthday cake. Some people got pretty elaborate cakes, Joey. Two cakes, that's all, two layers of cake. Some people go bigger, some people go batter, some people go smaller, some people go fatter. All right, Dr. Sushat up. But I've seen people saying, this is why you shouldn't smash heads and cakes

because it's like the steak right in people's eyes and shit like that. Well, because it's a cake and we like to eat it. Yeah, I'm pretty upset when people have done that in the past. I will say, the only thing that my family sticks to with the, is the cross? The cross and the first piece goes to the birthday boy,

and or girl. Got it. Whoever the birthday person is. Yeah. They get the first piece and then they birthday boy and or girl. Got it. Whoever the birthday person is. Yeah. They get the first piece and then they can give everyone else whatever they want. Our is like, my mom is like, oh, you make the first cut. Oh, like you're cutting the ribbon to a fucking new business

or something? Yeah, no, the new hair salon. It's like, no. No, I, uh, that's the only one. Yeah, I don't know. Now, let me ask you a third question. If your boys ask you to watch them have an orgy. But there's birthday.

There's a red velvet birthday cake there. I know how much of a slut you are for some red velvet. Isn't red velvet just like something? It's just like red. Yeah, it's like, okay. There's nothing, it's cake, but red. I'm sure there's some fucking hyper baker out there that's gonna be like, actually it's the application

of fucking sodium bicarbonate. No, I haven't had a red velvet cake in a long time. Really? Yeah. What's like your birthday cake? Fun Fettie vanilla ice cream. Ooh, okay. Yeah, I'm a car.

vanilla ice cream, what am I saying? You know what you meant. I know what you meant. I'm a car-vall ice cream cake boy, okay. Yeah, I'm a car ice cream. What am I saying? You know I know you meant I know you meant I'm a car vel ice cream cake boy to the day. I die. You ever have a fudge either whale. Hum? A fudge the whale. That sounds just what is that? It sounds like something you would like that call a fat kid like fifth grade, but no, it's yeah It's a big fat. Hey Fudgey! How fudge you the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way I was doing the way Fudgeicles, fudge cake, fudge ice cream, it's fucking disgusting. No, first of all, it's fucking gross. I'm cool with not having a, I don't, it's the worst form of chocolate, dude.

Fudgeicles are incredible. No, they're not, they're overrated at best. And don't even get me started on how fucking disgusting cream sickles are. Cream sickles are pretty bad, but I'll eat one on a hot day. But, fudgeicles are great. No, they're not. So what's your best fudge pop cusco? Why?

I tried to say all that at the same time. What's your favorite popsicle? Like an orange popsicle. Like a regular juice orange popsicle. Why are we gotta go like, here's iced chocolate milk. Ugh. No, it's good. No No it's not. It's disgusting. It's good. It's disgusting. I feel like a fucking a poor orphan when I had one you know. They don't get Fudgeicles. Well no they definitely get Fudgeicles. Why? It's just where I imagine that they're

consumed the most. They get budget bills. You know I've never seen an orphanage? Yeah, I don't think they are like big anymore. Like I've never seen, like walked by, like oh that's the orphanage and the orphans are outside playing basketball. Yeah, you know that's a great question. That's a great point. I don't think I've seen one too.

We are. I think they're meant to like hide and plane sight. They like don't have like signs on the front of the building. They're not like signed holiday. They don't want people to join. Come through to the orphanage. Leave your parents.

We have the world's most renowned orphanage. Do you think orphanages, when I think of orphanage, I think of a bunch of cats. I think of Mike. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, but even they had. Oh, I think like Annie Mike. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, so, but like even they had... Oh, I think like, like, Annie, like they all get like,

it's one giant room that has like, just like, like, like 15 twin beds in it. Like, Madeline, remember that book? Yes, I do remember Madeline. Yeah, so it's like that. That's what I imagine. That's what I would imagine too. And I imagine like all the dinners are like served like with a ladle. Yeah, well, the dinners are served with a ladle.

Yeah, it's a big pot ladle. They mostly have gruel and soup, yeah. And porridge, the easiest things that you can make. Yeah, I don't know what porridge is, but it's oatmeal. You know what's funny? A couple episodes ago, I brought up porridge

and you told me it was oatmeal, hot oatmeal, or cold oatmeal? Yeah, I'm not confident though, I just say. I don't know, I'll never have it because of the name alone, you know. No, I don't know. Poor ridge, that doesn't sound delicious. You can't say porridge without poor. There it is, get to those ads.

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or the promo code basement for a free Yeti style tumbler. You won't wanna take these bird dogs off, okay? You can also go check out patreon.com slash the base of your yard folks. We are so appreciative. If you guys getting this over 26,000 oh Oh my goodness, it's gonna make a boy cry and cream at the same time. But, no, no, okay. But, we're approaching 27 and we want to hit 27. Why? Because realistically, it's gonna help us climb up those ranks. We're so appreciative of all the love and all the support and you can join today and get that first tier.

Well, that gets you these weekly episodes. One week in advance, get in on the conversations, the idiocracy, the stupidity, the moronity, the every other adjective you can use to describe how stupid Joe is. One week before anybody else, and then that second tier, well, that's where you get those weekly, raunchy, nasty, flavorful, farty, maybe, I don't know.

Exclusive Patreon. I feel like you're not selling that. Exclusive, people wanna hear you're farty. No, maybe not. No, you got exclusive episodes every single Friday morning at 7 a.m., which means you can start and end your week with the basement yard. Is there any better way for all of our friends

Just more of us, right? So go check it out patreon.com size of basement yard. We thank you for 26 We're gonna keep going till we reach that number one spot, baby. We're coming for you Shane Gillis. We're gonna get you one day. Maybe I don't know He's got a lot does but go check it out patreon.com size of basement yard. Joe Back to you. Yeah, I think we'd be a remiss if we didn't talk about the, we found alien bodies in Mexico.

We? We didn't. We didn't. I mean, we as in the earth. The earth of, we of us. Mexico. Can I, all right, real question though. Yeah.

Do you believe it's real? Fucking absolutely not. Dude, I hope it's not. What? What first of all the aliens were like this big Heart for me to be afraid of something. That's why And it had like three eggs in them. Yeah, that's like wrong Fucking I don't want this shit. You know what that means that means that alien got raw dick Of course they of course they do but they're carrying around three eggs in them They maybe they gave birth in threes.

That's, that's scary, dude. For the vaginas, yeah, for the alien vaginas. Imagine giving birth to triplets? Vagina, bro. I mean, most of the time, my understanding from stories I've heard, most multiple births outside of twins are C-section, because that's just, that's a lot. I have have a question and I don't know if you know the answer And I'm gonna guess what guess what watch this. I'm gonna know even if I don't go I'm confused by that

I'm gonna pretend to know Again, this might be a stupid question, but proud most likely is shut up Shut up! Alright Joey, hit me with the dumbest question you got. It's not the dumbest question I have, but it is a question. If you have twins, let's just say twins, make it easy. Okay. Is there two separate, andbilical cords, or is there just like, it goes one,

and then it just, oh wait. Go ahead. Oh, I can't feel it. They're like on a string, like, continued. And like the next one's got the same thing, you know what I mean? Oh, well, it's not like you eat one and one forgets one time. What is there two cords?

I mean, so it depends. To my understanding mean it depends to my understanding it depends I believe no, I believe it's one because the there's one placenta. All right. It's just a big old bitch What's a placenta? It's a bag of food. It's a bag of food. Yeah, yeah, it's it's the whole bag of bloody food It's the whole thing. It's the whole thing. It's the whole thing the placenta But what's in the whole thing? You know and then No, yeah, yeah, okay, and then I think it like it's like one attaches to the mom And then it fucking like breaks off

Attaches to the mom like one and one chord the placenta. Yeah, yeah And then like the nutrients go in there and they're like all right We're gonna bring we're gonna bring a half a french fry to this guy half one of that guy So there's two separate cords, so but then the belly button well the babies don't share a cord like it's not like that It like goes up and it's like a t-shaped between the two of them two separate cords You get two different belly buttons. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah,'t. Also, why isn't this our mouth? If we started eating here, why do we eat here? Well it closes off. We've through time. We've figured out how to eat with our mouths. Yeah, I know. I'd much rather not eat with my mouth.

I'll be honest. I don't rather just sit at the table and just shove fucking hamburgers into my belly. It's so dumb. We eat here, but not here. No opposite opposite. We eat there, but belly here. That's it. It's so dumb we eat here but not here. I know opposite opposite. We eat there but not here. Yeah I would much rather just be like oh fucking hot dog. Just shove it in my fucking belly button. That would be so you know how because when you eat you have to stop talking and you know how much I love to talk.

I don't. I don't. Yeah. I don't like I don't. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like, I also hate how you eat. You always put food to the side of your mouth, like a fucking chipmunk and you talk. And I what? You talk.

I don't do that anymore. Any more, but you grew up doing that a lot. And that's all I care about. You did it when you were younger, so you'll do it forever in my eyes. OK. Yeah. Frankie believes in second chances.

I do. But yeah, so I think there's two in vehicle cords. I think there's two in vehicle cords, but it's like, there's like one placenta. Yeah, one big bag of food. One old big old bag. You know, I think of it like, do you have to eat double?

I would have honestly, from some of that's not been pregnant, I can't imagine to know, I think of it like, do you have to eat double? I would have honestly, from someone that's not been pregnant, I can't imagine to know, but I'm gonna pretend like I do. You never talked to your mom about this? Your brother's were twins. Did she be like, yo, I do turkeys to feed these kids? I think she was probably very hungry because of the energy that it takes to fucking carry around to children inside of you. Yeah, it's a toughy Yeah, it's a little tough. Yeah, it's It's kind of hard to yeah, two two stuff. Two is tough. Why is a breeze? Come on figure it out ladies Just it's a kid I'm kidding. They can't even read someone that shared a house with someone while they were pregnant wild stuff Yeah, I think like they're like they're insatiable because of the energy

it takes to grow a child, same with breastfeeding. Yeah, your sister will know a bunch about that. Ask your sister. Yeah, I mean, well, no, I know about breastfeeding. I feel like I'm basically a lactation consultant at this point. Oh, shit, but yeah, because that's, I mean, she is. So now I just know everything.

But I never, I feel likean would probably punch me in the face If I actually are about the imbilical cords. Why? She'd like hey, should I google it right now? How many chords are there? How many imbilical chords for twins? Maybe there's one main road, but there's two exits Wait, no, that doesn't make sense Oh, oh man, I had it. It's probably two separate chords. How many in Biltchal chords for twins? Does each twin have an in Biltchal chord?

It doesn't matter if they're identical or fraternal. All twins, triplets, et cetera, have their own in Biltchal chords. That means no matter what, they will be a chord blood and chord tissue that could be for them. So then your dad that day, he had to make two cuts. He was like Edward Sizzis. Yeah, he was definitely 100 two cuts. He was like Edward Sizzies.

Yeah, he was definitely 100% like out there like Edward Sizzies, but I think you don't do them at the same time. They probably go like, here's the first one cut. Oh, the next one's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, my brothers were only a minute apart. Yeah, and then that's my mom and got no downtime, dude.

She was, they were just like, you Chris, Chris came out and then it was like immediately like, oh, next right behind them. Damn, dude, what the hell does that feel like? I can't, I have no idea. It must have felt like, you know what's crazy back in the day when you didn't know that you were having twins? You're like, am I having a giant baby?

If they were like close. Well, they say that, they by they I mean not us That like they need to like women that are giving birth need to experience birth twice Because they have to birth the placenta after the bag of food the bag and then You know, so it's like basically if you give birth the twins and then you got this fucking Santa sack coming out Yeah, you got You know what I coming out. Three, yeah you got SASS! You know what I'm saying? Three births!

That's crazy dude. Didn't that one bitch have eight? Yeah, it's- people having like eight fucking kids at the same time. How- what do you look like? Bro, not only that, but back in the day, people used to die because they gave birth to a child like during Game of Thrones times and shit. I mean it's- It's-

It's a bitch game of eight. Joey, game of- It's five to one. Come on Joey, Game of Thrones times, of thrones times is like fucking 12 this year 12, you know like of course it shit First of all it's hard and scary period, you know, that's like basically major surgery. Oh Crazy, you know, especially if it's like Siserion and then it's literally they have to take your organs out and like put them on your fucking chest I don't know about that. No, that's what they do. They take the organs out and they like rest them on the girl. That's why the hood is like up here. Hold on. Time to T out time. Yeah. What organs? Whatever the fuck is in front of the the the baby sack. In

testons? Yeah. And like whatever organs they need to remove. If I saw my own intestines, I'd kind of be hyped. I'd be honest. I'd be like, let's just look at intestines. Hi, for what? What intestines move? What? What are you googling right now? I'm looking up what intestines. During a C-section your organs are usually just moved aside so the doctor can see your uterus better. They don't put them on the fucking table. In rare cases, the intestines may be temporarily lifted out for better visualization, visualization and space to operate.

Smuckin, take this. Fucking, last cell you're small intestine across the room. I was fucking last so you're small and testing across the room. I wanna touch and test and I wanna touch Oregon. I have touched Oregon, so you? Yeah. Did you have an illness? My God. Dap it up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, go, no, put those down. Put those down. Yeah. One of my friends at classes, they had bought in like parts from a cadaver. And it was like this is a healthy liver This is an alcoholic liver. How was that? Wild dude, was it healthy liver looked really fun like cool liver looks gross to me But bro the alcoholic liver was like hardest rock and white. Oh, ew. Yeah, dude. It was crazy

I don't like that and then they always do the one where it's like smokers lungs now and smokers lungs. Yeah, that shit it was crazy. I don't like that. And then they always do the one where it's like, smokers lungs, non-smokers lungs. Yeah. That shit is crazy. Yeah. That was enough to keep me off the cigarettes. Yeah, well. So Mexico found aliens. Ha ha ha.

Yeah. And they were dusty looking. Why do those aliens look so dusty? Well, they were mummified remains, I believe. Who mumm-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um-um- and they're like, and they're that big. Not a good look for us. No. We got people like shack walking around and we can't figure out how to get past the moon. I can definitely kill an alien. Yeah, it makes me less afraid of them, which is not a good thing.

Well, I don't, I believe that's bullshit. Like I just think that it's a, you know, it's a hoax. It's a classic Mexican hoax. A classic. It's a classic Mexican hoax. It's not a, it's a Mexican pulling one on us again. Yeah. You guys don't get to have the best food

and then have like the aliens too, it's not gonna happen. Yeah, no, no way, absolutely not. I'm not about it. And I think that you guys, you're fucking with us. You know what you're doing here, Mexican Congress really? Never heard of that before. Ha ha ha. You made Congress to say you had aliens? Yeah. I don't know. They're all paid actors. Yeah

Joe Biden is probably behind this. Joe Biden is definitely behind this. You know who told me that? Don't fucking aliens kind of look like Joe Biden honestly. What would you do if that aliens had up and I was like oh My son Hunter You sent did crack. That was really good right there. Was it? Yeah, that was a really good one. I am obviously I don't believe it.

I'm gonna be the guy that doesn't believe it until I shake hands with an alien. You know what I mean? Like they'll be like... I mean an alien like spit at me or something. Not like that. Well, why do you say it? I don't know how I said that. But I was thinking like, I don't like that. Well, why do you say it? I don't know. I said that.

But I was thinking like their spit would be like radioactive. Like he would spit on the wall and it would make a hole in the wall. So you're only thinking in terms of alien and aliens and alien versus predator? Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Which I've seen none of those by the way. Oh, you just know that they have acid spit. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay.

It's cool to imagine. Those aliens are scary. Those are very spit. Yeah, gotcha. Okay. It's cool to imagine. Those aliens are scary. Those are very scary. Yeah. I got the mouth and then the little mouth that comes out, the little fucking mouth. I don't like that. Yeah, I appreciate it.

I appreciate it. I appreciate that a little bit. Also, things with big teeth, I really hope aliens don't have big teeth. If aliens have big teeth, I'll be pissed because I've made fun of enough people with giant teeth in my life to not. Oh, I'm talking about like sharp teeth.

Oh, okay, all right. That big teeth. Oh, I don't know. I don't know if they can hear us, like make fun of each other. Like, big veneers or something? No, I'm talking about like, this sharp teeth.

Tony Robbins is an alien. He's got giant fucking teeth, dude. And he's a big fuck. He's like, yeah, he's like, six, six, right? Or something. I think he's like, six, nine, honestly. Get the fuck. Yeah.

Bro, he's gotta be an alien. You see those sunken in eyes on giant teeth? There's no way he's real. And he like, sat, he's like six nine, honestly. Get the fuck, yeah. Bro, he's gotta be an alien. You see those sunken in eyes, those giant teeth, there's no way he's real. And he like sat, he looks like what I imagine a Neanderthal would look like. Uh-oh, which is way more hair. Gotcha, okay, well. Oh, what's up?

Oh, that seems like you know. Also, is it Neanderthal? I believe it is. Because people say Neanderthal, who the fuck says that? People, whom? Just people. Oh, Neander tall who the fuck says that people whom? Just people if you ever come across one of those people shoot them in the face. They say Neander tall No, no one says that Joe. You're making a fuss. I'm a pizza and a bea Well, that's because there is like the regional dialect is I know that like that's probably how you pronounce it But like it's a bea is a here. Yeah, and we're gonna call it what we call it here

100% yeah Mexico%. Yeah. Mexico. Ibiza. Mexico. Not Mexico. Yeah, like we're a- Would you be offended if I sat here saying Mexico? It would be just shut up. Joey, it would be way worse.

If you were like, ah, can I have two tacos, biria? You know, like it would be way worse. Biria tacos are fucking very good. But- You know how I love dunkin' shit. Well, with a good little fuckin' fresh consa man on the side, and you just fuckin' whappin'. Yeah, I just out fuckin' sinkin'.

You ever had one of those tacos, like they're like, cook tacos? You know what I'm talking about? They're all cooked. No, listen to me. Like they put it in, like they put the, they fill the taco and they put it on the stove and like cook it in like a sauce.

No? Not gonna answer her. They, they, what did they do? Sink it into... No, like they put, like they fill the taco and then they put it back on the thing and like cover it in cheese. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

Those were really good. Back at Gami's something. She got some last week and I had them. Fucking. Yeah, those are really good back at gave me some she got some last week and I had them Yeah, bananas and like anything that I could that comes with a little pull that I could dunk it in What's your favorite dunkable food? I can't pick something It's got to be tacos for me now that I'm thinking about it, but that's not traditionally a dunkable All right, so what are you thinking like a donut you are you a don't ever dunked a dunk I was gonna say are you a donut dunker like the cops

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Your favorite dunkable food. Dunkeros. That's not as food, it's snack. Pretzels. Snack. What do you dunk those in? Cheese. You dunk pretzels into cheese?

Pigs in a blanket. We're getting warmer, yeah. Yeah, we're getting there, right? That's your favorite though? What's my favorite? Montreal sticks. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I won't need a, oh fries probably. I have to. I'm not a Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't, I won't eat it. Oh, fries probably.

I have to. I'm not a big, you raw dog fries. I don't. I'm not a big fry guy. If I am having fries though, there's got to be catch up involved. There's got to be, yes. Or some, some, some, some dipable substance. Something wet.

I can't, yes. I need to just shove it into something wet. I can't eat it dry. Mmm. Yeah. For a lot of things, those two things. Shove it in it wet. What the fuck?

And you can't eat it dry. Fuck you, you know what, I'm talking about French. Fuck you, I'm talking about French fries here, Joey. Talking about sex with a woman. Uh oh, okay. I thought you were meaning like, we're like, weenersucking. Oh no, I was just kidding. I thought you were insinuating that I sucked weeners.

Like I got a shove it in wet, something wet. I'm like, weener sucking. Oh, no, I thought you were insinuating that I that I've sucked we like I got a shove it in wet something wet I'm like yeah, nice loving it in something wet is nice You know That's two vagina two joys joys fucking pussy out today. I got two pussy just now right on the show boom I was never a dunker of donuts, you know what I mean? I don't drink coffee. I don't drink coffee, so. Yeah, but I don't even like, I drink coffee and I love donuts.

I can't imagine why that would take me. I know it's coming. So next year when European Joe comes back or whenever you end up going on like a fucking like three-town tour of Italy, you're gonna start dunking fucking Biscotti in coffee. I know you and I know you're gonna sit dunking fucking Biscotti in coffee. I know you and I know you're gonna sit in like Rome and watch the fucking pigeons eat crumbs and then just dunk Biscotti into a coffee. I know European Joe is gonna do it.

Probably and it'll be an espresso too. Oh, you're not doing like the Americanized coffee where it's like us Americans love it as dessert basically. I don't think there was any coffee in Portugal, honestly. It was just a present. And wine. There was wine, let me tell ya. You see what happened in Portugal?

I did, everyone is acting in that. You were two weeks too late, Joey. I wasn't, we drove, I think, through there on the way to Porto. But like, we never were in that town, so we've never seen it. For those of you guys that don't know what we're referencing, there was a

Wine makers steal like drum. It's like 2.2 million liters of red wine ruptured and flooded the streets of Portugal. Yeah, people's like houses are flooded with wine. Oh no, there's some alcoholics that are just like this is a sign. I mean if I was there I'd be like, just with a cup. I would, would I was there, I'd be like, just with a cup. I would, would you swim in it? Would you, would you, would you?

I don't know, like, how long that would take to come off of my body, because like, wine like stains. There, no, I think I've seen something that there are, like, people that do like, wine baths in like, like, high, high-end spots. Oh, yeah. Didn't a Maristatomire do that once when he was on the nits? Maybe, I'm not up to date on my Maris Tottamire news.

So maybe he like converted, he was like Jewish, I don't know where then he took a wine bath and I was like, uh... I don't know if those two things line up, do they? No, those are the only things I really remember about as time was the next. Gotcha, okay, nothing else. Yeah. There was that one year he went off, I remember that. It used to be a big Amari fan, remember that one? I remember you were a big suns fan.

It was. Kim Steve Nash, who else was on that? Roger Bell, Landre Barbosa. OK. Grant Hill. OK. Those are all great players. My baseball, look at me.

My basketball knowledge stops at the 2006-76ers. This is probably back then. Yeah, it was. But I was a big fan of Chris Weber, Kyle Corver, Andre Guidalajos, Rookie Season, Alan Iverson, Eric Snow. That was a great year for the Sixers. Especially Kerry Kiddles, that's the net.

You're talking another language to me. Basketball, again I said baseball, basketball is the one sport you could sit here and make up names and I'd say yeah. Like there are people now where it's like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, Wembe and and and and and joker. You don't know who joke it is. No. Frankie you do. I swear to God. I don't I watch zero basketball. You want to know current basketball players that I know who won the finals? You want to know current basketball players? I know seriously LeBron James. Yeah. Steph Curry.

Of course. You can't name other people on the Warriors. At least that. Well, one he was there, Kevin Durant. OK. Um, uh, I was thinking, in my head, I swear to God, I thought Drew Hill, but that's a singer. It's Drew Hill.

Isn't that a singer? I'm pretty sure there was a Drew Hill that played on LeBron's high school team. Okay, yeah, that's your one pulling out of it, LeB Hill. You've named four. Who's the other shooting guard on the Warriors? The Splash Brothers, Steph Curry and... Oh, Clay Thompson.

Yes, okay, all right, I got that one. Then who's the other one that like always got into fights? On the Warriors. Yes, yes, yes. Give me a first initial. D. Drain on green, I remember that. Honestly.

That's crazy. It wouldn't be able to take. Who's a white dude on the Mavericks? He's like, the only white... The only white... Honestly, the only name that comes to mind is Dirk Newitsky. I'm not even kidding you, a white foreign. Okay.

Wouldn't be able to tell you anything. What about the guy on the box? Oh, the Greek freak. What's his name? You have to say his last name. Janice. And the coupons. I know that one.

And you also know. I remember the ball, brothers. Who used it? The ball. That's what their names were, right? What are their names? Lamello? Yeah.

Lorenzo. Yeah. No? Lorenzo. Lamello? Lamello? Lorenzo's not one? No.

Close. Lawrence? How is that close? Lorenzo Lawrence. Take out some letters from Lorenzo Now some people have what what say I was gonna say Lauren Lauren ball Joey, I don't know Lonzo Lonzo, okay. Yeah, and then the third one you probably know What was the first one I named Lameamello? Lamello. Lanzo.

And then... Jello. Hm? Jello. Jello? I think it's the name of D&L. Oh, stupid. But yeah, I'm not, the NBA is so far.

You could honestly make up fake names and tell me that they're real players. I can't really do no joke. They won the finals. Who? Joe Kitch? Yes. J-OK-IC. I don't know know Joe Kitch. They won the finals. Who? Nuggets. Joe Kitch? Yes. J-OK-I-C. I don't know. He's Serbian.

Oh! His name... He's like one name, like SEAL. I don't know! I thought his name was like, first name, Joe last name, Kitch. It's Yokech. Okay. But like, what's his real name? Yokech. Okay, but like what's his real name? Yokech.

That's it. No, like there's no like. Yeah, it's like seal. Yokech. Oh. Okay. Um, I wouldn't be able to tell you any. Kyry Irving.

Come on. Oh, he's still in the league? Yeah. I didn't know. Oh, um. Anyone on Boston? These are famous players One starts with a J

It's actually the first half of this first name J Oh, um, I actually I do know this one and I know because of bar stool Jason. Yep Totten No, okay, obviously not Tatum Tatum. Okay. I was close. Wow. That's kind of crazy I like I don't really know basketball, but I can name like I can name like Fucking video game stuff that you've never heard of yeah, I assume yeah exactly But and also probably baseball I I don't that's like this is from baseball for me I mean I probably know more baseball players than you know basketball players. Yeah, probably but like I don't that's like this is from baseball for me. I mean, I probably know more baseball players than you know basketball players

Yeah, probably but like I can't like there's so many players that I would not I'd be like never heard that name for Yeah, no, that's basketballs. I'm I've been out the game for a while. Yeah, that's kind of someone argue. I've never been in the game Some some would argue that Joe Kitch I don't know. Oh, Joey, what are you? Oh, fucking. How am I supposed to know basketball? I'm not playing it. I'm not living it.

Maybe that's what my homework will be. I'll fucking just start like getting super into basketball this season. Really? Yeah. And I'll just like hit you up and just be like, damn. Because I have been getting super into F1. What a big day for Verstappen. What a huge day a couple of weeks ago.

I was guy. What's Verstappen's first name? Max, Joey. Oh, okay. Come on, Joey. How stupid do you think I am? Can you name two other drivers? Yes, I can't, can you?

Yeah. All right, name them. Go ahead. You name them, go ahead. Or can you name one other one? Of course I can. So I'm gonna do it after you do it. I would tell you if you're making one. So I'll name one and then you name one. Yeah. Go ahead. Or can you name one other one? Of course I can. So I'm gonna do it after you do it I would tell you if you're making one. So I'll name one and then you name one. Yeah, go ahead. Louis Hamilton

That's the one I was gonna name Joey. Okay. That's the one I was gonna come up with. Can you name any of that? Of course I can but I'm not gonna give you any answers because I know you're a fake fan I love how fast they drive. I'm so impressed by just like that's the way to win in the F1 Grand Prix. Well, you can name another one. You remember you said someone's name and I'm like, how the fuck do you know that? Yeah, I already forgot it. It starts with the last name, starts with a G. Yeah, Julo.

I'm just so impressed by the way that they, like all they have to do is just stick true, drive fast and The game is theirs, you know each race is really up in the air until they figure out who's gonna drive the fastest all you got to do is pedal the metal baby What does that expression even mean pedal to the metal there's pedal Behind it is normally metal you hit it. There's not metal in my car behind the carpet. There is You hit it. There's not metal in my car. Behind the carpet there is. I think we need to update that. No, I think it's okay.

Pedal to the metal. Pedal to the carpet. Oh, sure, go ahead. And you also can't put it on the floor, right? I think you can. I've never done it. I've used to do it all the time in my dad's van. Oh, well probably because your dad's van wasn't moving very quickly.

I used to just go, it had a pretty good kick, actually. Did it? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I've never done that. I used to just go, it had a pretty good kick actually. Did it? Yeah, I don't know. I've never done that. I've always dreamt in my head. What's the fastest you've ever driven? Like a hundred miles an hour.

Okay. But I was driving a hundred miles an hour in Portugal because I didn't know I was driving that fast. Yeah, that's what I'm saying though. Like I did it and looked at this pedometer, I was like, oh my god. And I slowed down. Well, I'm looking at the pedometer and it says,

I'm going 160 kilometers. I'm like, I don't know what that means. Yeah, I don't know. That's scary. Those kilometers, they'll get you. They don't have the thing on there where it has like here. No? No, I mean, maybe.

I was looking at it and I was like, well, I'm going, I don't know how fast I'm going. Was this before, after, during the wine? This was in the middle. You should know that you weren't drinking wine when you were driving. No, no, no, no. I was drinking wine. This was, this was in the middle. You should know that you weren't drinking wine when you were driving. No, no, no, I'm saying I was drinking wine then I wasn't and was driving.

Not the same day. Gotcha, oh that's why I asked. No, I had to drive like fucking two and a half hours. I wasn't drinking and driving. Oh, you know, a foreign country. That's the worst place. I mean, I wouldn't do it here either. I was getting it.

Over there? Yeah, not there I wouldn't do it here either. I was kidding. Over there? Yeah, not there. Here. Where it's celebrated. Yeah, I just love F1. Shut up. I did get my wines, by the way. Oh, you did.

Yeah, I'll show you a picture. I'd love to. All I care about, did they come in a crate in a wooden crate you had to open with like a crowbar? No. God dammit. That's all I want. That's all I want. create you at an open with like a crowbar. No. God dammit. That's all I want. That's all I want.

I want wine in a wooden crate that I open and it has like the like hair underneath. You know what I have to like fucking like. No, it just came in like these two boxes. Oh, look at this. Look how beautiful this is. When did you get it? Well yesterday, last night.

How many of you drank so far? None. What is going on with my stupid phone? Come on Joey phone. Whoa dude that's what like 20 bottles. 24. Wow mine. Oh I only got six. Oh you damn that looks sick. Looks good. They're really good. Good for you. All reds? No, there's, I had three reds to, no.

Yeah, two whites and four reds. So more whites. Less whites. Yeah. I'm on board. Yeah And then Pete got two ports. You like port. I don't know what that is. It's like a dessert wine. Oh, okay No, I wouldn't be able to I'm not crazy about him. I've had him in restaurants I don't really like him. I'm like a freak. He always has to get something to just be fucking based but you

Did I? I don't know. Did I? But there I had one and I was like, oh this one's actually good, because it's not as like, because they're like really sweet. Ah, I can't do that.

And they're like high enough called it. Really? Yeah. That's fuck your balls. Well, you don't want balls fucked. I don't want my balls fucked. Yeah. You want your balls fucked?

What does that mean? Maybe, I don't know, maybe. Hold them like this. Who? Weiner in between them. Oh, I don't want to weiner on my balls. Yeah, You want your balls fucked? What does that mean? Maybe, I don't know, maybe. Hold them like this. Who? Weiner in between them. Oh, I don't want to weiner on my balls. Yeah, well that's why I asked if you wanted your balls fuck.

Oh, no, no, no. What if someone asked you to put your balls in them? I would love to do that. Really? I would love to do like stuff like that. More balls stuff, huh? No, not more ball stuff. I'd just be like, and not, it would be like funny.

I'd be like, oh, let's try to get my balls in here. Oh, there's no there's no humor in my sex It's all fucking business, baby Jesus you wear a suit and bring a briefcase. Let's do this. Yeah, no, it's all gonna be out in three Everything's playful Three that's what you give me Joe. Yeah, you said that I know I didn't did you say like three to eight minutes or something? Maybe something like that. It's probably back. I gotta be honest.

I am. I may have said that. It's really hard to remember most of the things I've set on the show. Mm-hmm. It's tough, but anyway, that's all we can do for today, Frank. Mm-hmm. What are you doing? I just want to hug with your hand.

Well, after the show, just come over here and hug me. Got it. Yeah. Where, where can I climb you? F Alvers 85 on Twitter, the Frank Alvers and all the forms of social media. And then you can check out the Patreon. Patreon.com size of Basement Yard.

Thanks for getting this 26. We want to keep climbing to 27. We got some stuff cooking for you. We actually found out today we might be doing a collab with someone that might be pretty cool. I'm not going to say who, because I'm a dirty little bitch. And then go check out the show everywhere you like the show at the Basement Yard.

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