The Basement Yard - #423 - Reinventing The Funeral

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

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Welcome back to the base. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome back to the base, Minyard. Frank, how's it going, buddy?

The mint green boys. We're mint green in it. We're kind of mint green in it together. The mint green, double mint twins. That's not right. That definitely, I mean, double mint twins was a thing. Yeah. Remember, we spoke about this before.

Like, they were trying to sell gum with boobs. Like, they were just being like, God, me, I love that gum. Yeah, do you? Yeah. Don't really care for it. Like, juicy fruit is just like, I love that gum. Yeah, do you? Yeah. Don't really care for it. Like, juicy fruit is just like, oh, it's juicy and fruity and wet in your mouth.

That's what they said. Yeah. Gum is pretty sexual. You never see fucking commercials about winter fresh or big red, though. Ever. Yeah, well, they don't need this. It's like Lamborghinis.

They sell themselves, you know? Like, you don't need to, you don't need to fucking, you know, produce commercials. Like, they're like they're reliable sellers I'm a Lamborghini. It's a piece of gum. Oh my god. You remember those orbit gum commercials Where's like you let liquor? Clean feeling yeah, I hated that shit and then we we previously spoke about how horny the five gun gum commercials

Yeah, that's a crazy you like juicy food, right? I love juicy fruit. Yeah, no, it's root It's for the first like it's a slightly flavored rubber band Oh, that's what I told gum. That's all gone. No, it's it's it's a chewy bandaid. That's what it is First of all definitely not it is definitely not dude. Yeah, the first hate band the first why did it? Where why I don't like band a I don't like to smell I like look I don't like when I have a bandaid on on, and I take it off and the underneath is all white. And wet. And wet?

Why is it wet? I don't know, and then it smells like my grandmother's ass. You know what I'm saying? It smells like the inside of a lunchbox. I don't know what lunchboxes you've had, Joey. Mine definitely doesn't smell like that. No, it does. No.

And also, have you ever been in a pool? There's just a random band-aid? Yeah, of course. I mean, you ever been in a pool? And there's just a random band-aid? Yeah, of course. I mean, I've been in a pool before. Any pool you go into, there's always a form of a random band-aid. Do you pee in pools? No. Have you?

Yes. So that would do what? But it's not like a thing. The only pee pools I pee peed in were Vegas. And they're toilets. Let's be honest. Vegas pools are toilets. No one cares much about them.

But you don't like just getting someone's pool. I'm be like,, yeah, of course. I've got no, no, never never do that Oh, I see pisses and pools. That's like dude. That's bad. Yeah, right bad bad. Yeah, and I'll be like Yo, we piss in here like no, no, I'm not good to know good to just just a just a universal rule Don't pay in a pool unless it's a Vegas pool. Right. Vegas pools are toilets, no one cares. I care. Well, I mean, you're partying in toilet water, it's all good. Bro, I used to fucking let it rip, bayblade style in toilets, in the same Vegas pools.

Because we'd go to those pool parties and you're fucking 17 beers deep. Whoa, no, that's a lot. All right, like nine beers deep. The strongest mixed drink you ever had. $900 in debt at that point. Don't you remember that shit? A bucket of six Michelot Vultures was $80 in Vegas. Michelot ultra.

Tell you what, got my money as a word. Left that place, left my wallet, phone, shirt, shoes, at the pool party. He just walked out. I just walked out and the, remember the bounce or gave me a big white shirt. He's like, you can't leave it out of shirt. I was like, I was like a baby.

He was like, put it on me and he put it on me and I walked home. Well, no, you didn't walk home. I, we were walking together and we got pulled apart. And we got pulled apart because it was like a group of people that were like, oh, I'm going home. I, we were walking together. And we got pulled apart. And we got pulled apart because it was like a group of people. They're like, oh, I'm having a, I'm, and I was like, yeah, that's him.

And then I turned for a split second and you were gone. I sprinted around the MGM Grand Casino. I sprinted on the way home. The route that we took, so I was like, all right, well, if he's going home, I'll see him on this route. No idea how way home. The route that like we took, so like I was like, all right, well if he's going home, I'll see him on this route. No idea how I got there. No idea how you got back.

I thought you were gone, dude. I thought you were a goner, but you know, I was a goner recently. And not in a sense of like running away or being lost. But I went out to dinner with a buddy of mine who came to visit. And I guess I got a little drunk. I didn't realize.

What is I guess? What'd you drink? So we went to a sushi place, and it's B-O-I-O-B, and I bought a six pack of, they were like, 8.7% beers. You drank six beers? I drank four of them. That'll do it.

Well, I drank four, and I gave the other two to like some like random like old guys over there. But I guess, and then we went, and had another drink. It was like did he drink? Yeah, of course. Oh, I thought you so you both just got a six pack for each no he had a bottle of wine for himself I got a six pack for myself What's wrong? Why like show no to a sushi place? He's drinking a bottle of wine. You're drinking and I was like got it Yeah, you know what I dropped the fucking six pack was pumpkin beer was delicious And I'm not a fan. I know you're not fan. I like them. Yeah, you know what I dropped the fucking six back was, Pumpkin beer was delicious. And now you're not a fan, I know you're not a fan.

I like them. So you got hammered. But I didn't put, no, so like I didn't, like I felt drunk, but like not to the point where I was like always, you know, yeah. And you know, I had not much else to drink after that. But I guess those were pretty, you know, densely.

Sure. Alcoholic beers. And Becca was like the next morning, I wake up and Becca's like, you were fucking densely. Sure. Alcoholic beers. And Becca was like, the next morning, I wake up and Becca's like, you were fucking hammered. And I'm like, no, it wasn't. I remember getting home, I have all memory of the whole night. And she's like, yeah, you were.

I'm like, why? She goes, you rolled over to me in the middle of the night and woke me up like it was 2 p.m. Like, like, babe.m. like like babe And I'm like okay, and she goes you go babe The kids don't even have a following What yeah, and she's like what and I'm like the kids you don't respect your kids don't have a following Yeah, and she's like what like on social media. I was like yes like I'm like talking down to her now

She's the yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I'm talking about that I'm like gaslighting my poor wife and fucking three in the morning. I'm like yeah Dawn and she's like What are you saying and then I just apparently like rolled over went back to sleep? What is that even I won't put I got up to go use the bathroom and she said I was in the closet Oh, I didn't be in the closet. Oh my god up to go use the bathroom. She said I was in the closet. Oh, I didn't pee in the closet. Oh my God.

She's like, you were playing with the hat rack in the closet. And I was like, what? I've done that. When I fall asleep, if I had any type of alcohol, even just like two drinks or something, nothing crazy. But if I fall asleep and I have to get up in the middle of the night, either to go to the bathroom or something makes me up,

no recollection of that whatsoever. And I'm like, it's like weird. I've one time, one time I was very drunk though. And I went back to my apartment and I'm laying in bed and I just came too and I was staring at myself in the mirror. What the fuck? And it like scared me. Like for days I was like, I'm not drinking anymore.

That was terrifying. Really? Yeah, because I just like woke up basically and I'm like for days. I was like I'm not drinking anymore. That was terrifying really Yeah, because I just like woke up basically, and I'm like why am I here? Oh, why am I staring at myself? That is kind of freaky. Yeah, you were drugged You ever think of that and then what stood and stared at myself in the mirror? I mean people you know you can drug your I felt like I got drugged at times Well, I was like yeah, I definitely didn't drink that much and I'm fucking blasted. I think now I probably like again I didn't I'm in my head.

I can still drink how we used to when we were younger. Or I shouldn't even say when we were younger. Like when I would consistently drink. So I guess I didn't realize how hard those fucking drinks were gonna get me. Dude, I would drink eight, I mean, four, eight percent beers. Without knowing like, this is gonna get slippery. Really? Yeah, dude, I fucked Yeah, do the whole thing.

Oh my god, I fucked up, I didn't know. Like, I forgot. 1 8% beer will have me being like, definitely feel that beer. Really? Yeah, like, it's 8%. Oh, I was by the third one. I was just like, oh wow, I feel like a little like tipsy.

Yeah, but you're playing the game, baby. You gotta, no, I forgot like, percentage of beers to get up to it. I've been out the game for a while. I forgot percentages of beers I like you know, so I saw 8% I was just like oh, I didn't even I didn't even think I noticed that it was 8% until after It's a lot I guess but I You know daddy was feeling it'll be a good time good time sushi did you? I went so I got a sushi dinner choice, and then I got a separate roll.

That was a fucking banana sandwich. Cool dude. I'm asking for specifics. Oh. Well, it was like two pieces of tuna, two pieces of salmon, two pieces yellowtail, white fish, and then the roll I got, you ready? Roll. Oh, I got a roll in addition. It was

Avocado seared scallop. Yeah Spicy tuna. Okay seared filet. What the hell how big was this thing and it's pretty big and a jalapeno on top with like sriracha sauce Bitch. Yeah, man. I fucked that up. I mean, it's okay. shit is. I mean, it's the, it's okay. You fucking, yeah? I said I would fuck it in its ass. Oh, boy. I was so aggressive just now. Yeah, that was a little much, but I guess I didn't, I didn't realize, and I woke up and I felt fine.

I was tired because I didn't get enough sleep, but like I felt, I woke up and I was like, oh, you know, feeling good, feeling great. Do you ever worry that you would, like imagine you got drunk and then you're delirious and you just go, like, catch that, have a conversation with your daughter. Oh, no, no, I wouldn't,

I don't think I've been drunk around the kids. Like when they were awake, you know, like obviously I've been, I've been drunk. Well, everyone's in bed by 8.30, I assume, right? Pretty much during the week. I mean, miles will will like on weekdays He'll stay up a little later and stuff like that, but what's his bedtime week? Like for school night a 30 we get him in bed, you know, but like 30's in third grade

Trying to think of when my bedtime was your bedtime was You don't know the answer. I don't know why you're even like attempting this. Like it's like, what the fuck? I know, I remember. What is it? It was definitely before 9 p.m. I can remember that. Yes, it was. Why do you know that?

Because I remember there was an episode of Monday Night Raw where the NWO put the rock in an ambulance and hid him with a semi truck. And it happened at the onset of raw and raw started at 9 p.m. that year, that time. And I called you to talk about it and your dad answered the phone. So it was like 9, 10 maybe.

And your dad answered the phone and he goes, Frank, do you know what time it is? And I was like, and I just hung up. I just hung up on your dad. I told him to start the other day. Did he call you a scumbag? No, no, no, I'm sure he called me something not nice But like I don't remember the only time I remember scumbag being involved is we were at I was at your house for dinner And we were eating dinner, you know your whole family at the table and

Someone brought up Barry bonds. I was like, ah, that's scumbag. And your dad goes, we don't. What do you say? He's like, we don't say scumbag. You can't. I was like, oh shit, okay. I didn't know that. You can't say scumbag. He's like, he kept his hand up here, so loaded to a fucking, yeah, like spring loaded for when someone said something to slam it on the table. Call the mask. Call the berry monster to scumbag. You can say sucks growing up in my house. No, sucks was pissed about that too.

I remember I said it in your day. I'm like, oh, that sucks. He'd be like, you don't say that. And I think because it sounded like fuck. I don't even know. No, I think sucks was like an aggressive way of saying. And he's like, don't, don't. Accordent of miles miles to this day, bro

I'm 31 if my dad calls me and he says he's like no the fucking I'm sorry. Oh I apologize for cursing that's cute. He's a gentleman Accordon of miles crap is a curse word in our house bullshit also your According to Miles Crap is a curse word in our house bullshit also your Stepson comes up to me and where what was that? Why was I my birthday maybe oh no it was a Danny's your fucking Jameson your nephews birthday and Miles comes up to me and he goes you're in trouble and I was like oh, yeah, huh? And he's like You say a lot of curse words on the podcast. He do, you might.

I was like, what about Kiki? And he was like, no. I'm like, what? Yeah, no, it's you, bitch. Fucking asshole, motherfucker. See? Fucking miles. This is Patreon.

Oh no, it's not Patreon. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Frank Sin's trouble. Oh, what are you gonna do? No, but like, I one day, like, I forgot how I said it. I was just like, ah, crap. And he was like, Kiki. Crap. Yeah, dude. He was like, don't how I said it. I was just like, ah crap. And he was like,

kinky crap. Yeah, dude. He was like, don't let him take crap from us. I want crap so bad, dude. You want a crap? Crap is such a goodie. I love crap. Just like, I don't give a fucking crap, dude.

I mean, I guess fucking would be the problem. But like, I've said that before. Like, Becca said something crap. I was just like, I don't give a crap. Cause the same shit as shit. Yeah, you know what I mean? I almost sat in some bird shit this morning Where's the most crazy as bird shits have ever seen? Where was their bird shit that you were sitting? It was outside of a coffee shop Oh, oh, I was just waiting and then like I like sat down and like these little chairs outside But it was like a rusted thing.

So it was kind of blending. Oh, like it was like the yellowish. No, no, no, it was like white, but some of the paint had come off. It was like a metal thing, and it was like kind of rusted. So it was and it was a huge duty crap on it. And I almost sat in this fucking bird crap.

That sucks. All over my corduroy pants. Oh'll all over my corduroy pants. Oh yeah, it's corduroy pants. We filmed a video and I made fun of them. They're very corduroy. They're comfortable. They remind me of a bear. Like a little like teddy bear

with a corduroy overalls or some stupid shit. I feel like a little doll. You look like a little boy. I'd just say that with like a Hick accent? Little boy. Dude, I know someone that's from like Monmouth County, New Jersey, and is like full on like talks as if they are a fucking cowboy from Texas, and it is the most infuriating thing that I've ever come across in my entire life. I don't know what any of that means.

I don't know. Jersey. Alright, I live in Ocean County. The county above us closer to New York. Is right, I live in Ocean County. The county above us, closer to New York, is Monmouth County. And it's like, I mean, there's some like rural part. Like, there's some farmland, but like... It's not Yeehaw.

But bro, talking like fucking Yeehaw. Like, I was at like a family event. And this person was there with their kids. And he was like full on talking to his kids like their cattle He's like come on. Oh get come on It's like dude you're from like I know where you're from like it's like where like fucking bon Jovi's from you know What I mean like you're not John Bon Jovi John Bon Jovi. He's from Jersey. Yeah, where you been? It's from like old bridge. I think Don't know what that is. I also don't really know. Also fucking, what's his name?

John Bontone. What's his name? Bruce Springstein. He's from... Oh yeah, that I knew. Yeah. The turnpike, they love him. He loves that.

I mean, I don't know why he would talk about the turnpike. He's closer to the parkway. The garden state. Yes. Yeah. I don't know what I'm thinking. I think in Jersey, she has limited. It's a name to think you know.

Good job. Yeah. You're gonna move to Jersey. I feel in my, in my jellies. I can see you moving to like North Jersey, could you? Yeah. Okay. You don't think? Nope.

Really? Hate the bridge, hate the tunnel. Well, you won't need to fuck with them if you live in Jersey. I guess if you wanna come see your family, but. Yeah, what do you think I'm just gonna be a Jersey and I'm gonna live in there forever? I forget that, yeah, yeah.

No shot, not a chance to live. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we'd like to talk about a judge? I'm gonna live in there forever. I forget that. Yeah. No shot. Not a chance. Anyway, we'd like to talk about a very popular show that's now on the air. It's a show. It's a show. It's a show called Make It Attraction. There you go. And you haven't really seen, I've seen clips of it. So I think it's a British show. Perfect. Those fucking brits, man. Can I say something? No. About the UK sure? They love tea

Yeah, it's great like why because they stole it and Those fucking I'm telling you I read a book on this shit. Oh because it's from China, right? Yeah, they like took it and they were like oh it's ours now, but like oh work. Oh, we've always had this but India It's ours now too. They put a, what's it called? Milk in it? It's like coffee, but it's not. They do. They drink like blends mostly,

and they doctodem up with milk and sweeteners and stuff like that, and they're fucking idiots over there. It's kind of crazy though. Like every time I see a UK show, and like the police show up to question somebody, like someone's making a... Like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, sh Good way to deflect against the white's being the enemy in that Who's deflecting you the white? No, you know I heard recently that there's apparently like sirens in London or England as a whole like mermaids They're like well maybe maybe those two but like not mythological sirens like like fucking like street posts

like lampposts and the king It's like a tea time or now now the king and the king, it's like a tea time, or now the king, previously the queen, it's like a tea time thing. So they like press a button and like it goes off and like everyone needs to stop what they're doing for tea with the king. No, why?

Wait, wait, like on the streets? Yeah, like on the streets, like they'll be like, you know, like lampposts, they look like, but they have big speakers on it. And the king will just be like, I'm only thinking it's time I've been taking and he'll fucking press a button and then everyone just have tea and it's so you're supposed to stop what you're doing and have tea I don't really believe that you don't need to and I guess what American

I mean probably but guess what I don't care to fact check it. Hmm. If it's a rumor, it's true We might we might have the opportunity to speak to some brits Soon so maybe we can ask them. I don't know. Yeah, well, yeah, you know We'll be able to figure that out. But like yeah, those be like the king is just like um I Think he's type of thing, you know, and like think it's like you're in the middle of like Do you think that the king is coming at the frog while you're doing that voice? Um, I yeah, I think so is he not I don't know I don't think people like him as much as they liked her. So we can talk shit.

Really? Because I thought that when she died, a lot of people didn't like her. Oh yeah, a lot of people didn't. Outside of the walls of the kingdom. Kingdom. Yeah, like outside people were just like, anyway, naked attraction.

Please. Can you explain it to the front? All right, so it's a dating show. Oh, it's a dating show. Yes, dude. It's a dating show where Oh, it's a dating show. Yes, dude. It's a dating show where like one person stands in a room like on a set and there'll be like six like pods. And in the pods will be a fucking fully naked person.

And they'll show you just their fucking dick or the person. Yeah. And they'll be like, all right, what do you think about these mates up there? About these Willys? Yeah, and like, one will be like a fucking big cock. Yeah. And then one will be like a little baby one. And they'll be like, I'm really, I don't know if I like it. He's a little small,

but then they pan up to show like their abs. Like they'll show like just like from feet to fucking cock. Or feet to like, but they start with feet, vagina. I don't know how they start. I haven't watched too many episodes. I haven't watched any episodes. But you have to, you have to, oh, so this is probably not true.

Who cares? But like, so they show dicks. No, but the general consensus is like, this is what happens. Like, they basically judge someone based off of their naked body without seeing their face. And then do they eventually get dressed and walk out?

And I'm like, oh no, you know. No, they like, they like pan up to like show like their chest. Well, he's actually quite fit. And they show. And then they show like their face. So like, you can get like a situation like you where it's just like a really nice face and a super like whatever dick.

Yeah, got you know, or like something like me who's just like top to bottom, just average. Right. You know, I'll be honest. Okay. But the description of the show was funny because I saw it and I was like, what could it try? So the description of the show on Google is Anna Richardson presents naked attraction,

a dating show that begins where some dates may end naked. Singletons, I guess that's what they call people that are single. I hate that dude. I hate that. Singletons get up close and personal as they meet for the first time in their birthday suits, stripped of all clothes, makeup, and status symbols. The status symbols. Oh, like someone pans up and it's the king.

He's got like a metal of honor. He's fully naked except the purple heart. He's got a purple heart like staple to the fuck. The social experiment is inspired by, this is the part that drove me nuts. Inspired by evolutionary science where it is believed that in the past people selected mates based on physical appearance. That's still going on. That's the thing of always. It's not like it's not a sentence.

Contestants get in touch with their primal instincts as they narrow down their potential match from a group of six nude hopefuls. Interesting. Dude, that's just like the way the world works. If you got a big sloppy wiener Then you're probably like you're doing better for yourself. Yeah, I would assume. Yeah, well sloppy do it What makes a wiener sloppy? Well, if it's just like you know like what the hell? That's a that's a wild like it just like just like a just like a teardrop just like a big water balloon

I was like a whole set of bananas or something. What's that called bundle? Is it bundle a bananas? I thought it was called it No, no, I think you're right, Bundle. It is. Okay. Or batch. Maybe. Either way, big fat sloppy. I want a banana out of a barrel so bad, dude. Out of a barrel. Yeah, dude. Every video game I've played with bananas, they come in barrels. Just talking, come on. Well, that's still a lot of video games. That's one video game. Like, you know how sick it would be to go to the store and like instead of having bananas in bags,

they were just like, oh, it's a barrel. I would like a monkey to hand me a banana and then go, thank you. Because that's probably a good one. They know the good ones. I like the courteous, the courteous, the, the, the, you know, the fucking tip of the cap at the end there. That was very kind of you.

I saw a TikTok of a monkey being bathed the other day. I was fucking like, damn, I need a monkey bed. Yeah, I'm sure you can get one. They're not really. I think you probably- I think you're allowed. I don't think you're allowed, but you probably could. Like a little kapuchin, a little monkey, you know,

spider monkey. I don't know the names of them. You gotta be careful, dude. They'll fucking like tear your face to shreds and then like shit all over your house. No, no, no, well, they're shooting all over your house. That's a kid's dude too. You can put diapers on them.

That's what kids do too, so I guess, you know, there's a, there's not much of a difference. Monkeys would be fucking fire though. Do you really, would you go on that show naked attraction? Absolutely not. Never? No. As, as like the person judging, not, but not being the judgey. And just what, I have to stare at women's vaginas and like, pick out of my favorite. I feel like the- Is there questions? Can I ask questions?

Sure, yeah, they say like, you know, they have to talk to the dick and stuff. It's like, oh, uh- Like what's your- what do you believe in? And the dick like fucking like stands up at attention and it's just like, imagine getting hard. That's had to happen, right? I don't know. Listen, all I know is like, I would have a tough time on that show.

I would feel like, like if I was like the person selecting, like how do you have a conversation with someone's fucking post just staring right at you? Yeah, that's gotta be, it's a toughy. And what are they asking? What are the questions? Is it like fucking the dating show? I don't know, yeah, I don't know.

If we were on a first date, what would we do? Like, when you're posting something, you're like, we're going to the movies. That's always just quips It's like great answer. Sorry, that was me Boys that was a I'm not that was a deep voice woman I would you oh you know would be hysterical if you just turn around and just like if someone's like turn around and pooped You're 31 You're 31. You're 31. Also, we do have some sponsors for today. You just turn around and pooped.

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I fit by .me slash basement spelled F-I-T-B-O-D.me slash basement. So go check it out. Now's the time. It's the winter. Usually this is around the time where people are like, I really got to step it up and you know, whatever. Don't wait until January 1st to start taking your fitness journey seriously. You can start right now. Go to fitbot.me slash basement for 20% 25% off of that subscription. You know what else you can do? Listen to me. I'm gonna be a dominatatrix again. You're going to go to Patreon, no, you don't want me to. What? Just be nice, right? Okay. Patreon.com, so I said, basically, you're art folks, we tell people about our Patreon every single week. And I'm excited to tell you this, the exact same thing that I've always been telling you.

You sign up for that weekly, you know, that first here you get these weekly episodes, one week in advance, and second here you get exclusive content. And boy oh boy, we got a whole lot load, big old, faddle, dumper of content coming your way. Over on patreon.com slash the basement yard. We've gotten to over 26,000. We want to keep growing, baby. We've got to keep going, mowing, throwing, and bowing, all the way up to 30, 50, maybe 400 million one day.

You never know, probably not. But patreon.com slash the basement yard, we appreciate all the love all support I want to keep growing want to get there want to pop pop pop to the top as I've said before you remember that all right Go check it out patreon.com slash the basement. You know Joey back to back to you. Okay But I do want to keep talking about the naked distraction thing. Yes, sir Sir, yes, sir. No, that's not. I do want to keep talking about this thing that we were

talking previously talking about. No, what I said. But haven't heard of that show, haven't even seen that at all. But naked and afraid. Wild. I don't understand why that needs to be a thing. I don't either, because most of the time when I'm naked, I'm afraid.

Of what? Just being naked. You never sleep naked? Never. No. Why? Because I have to get up at the kids. You never like sleep naked? Never. No. Why? Because I have to like get up at the kids. You didn't always have kids.

I have slept naked in my life, but like I'm not like a big naked sleeper. Why? Because I like being like cozy and comfortable and like what's more comfortable than rolling around in the sheets. Dude, I don't have like a what do they call them? A show or dick? You know what I mean? So like it's just you in there. Oh, no. I mean I assume like If I'm sleeping naked is because something happened before oh, yeah, I'm I'm what do you think you think hold on?

Yeah, you think I'm just gonna get up be like all right time to go to bed and just get full fucking naked. Yep while dude What if I do that? There's like what if like piss gets on the bed and stuff like that Don't piss in the middle of the night. I don't I don't I don't I don't but like that that seems like you're like test and fate There, you know what I mean you think a little skinny boxers is gonna fucking stop the piss. It's just a comfort thing for me It's like you always sleep with a blanket, right? Yeah, you ever sleep for the night on top of the blankets. I have Stupid wild and wild that you've said for the night on top of the blankets? I have. Stupid. Wild and wild that you've said that. I slept on top of the blankets.

You're not afraid of getting murdered? Murdered. It's the blanket. I've only done a blackout drunk in a pair of jeans. Oh, I fell asleep accidentally drunk. Two sleeping in jeans. That sucks. Your body reacts differently to that.

Yeah, my fucking legs are sweating. You're never afraid, like, when you're in the shower, like, oh, I'm gonna fall, crack my head, and people are gonna find me but naked and dead. Literally never. Oh, that's a fear of mine. But you're dead, who cares? I do, I don't wanna be found.

Like if I die suddenly. Your dead dick is probably whack! So trash, dude. My regular, alive dick is trash. Imagine it, imagine it had no blood pumping through it. I mean, yeah. It would just look like a balloon that you got at party city.

It would just look like a sad like this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It looked like a dead worm. It would just like, no, no, it would look like. You ever see a bird that didn't fly and it kicked it out of the nest and I was on the sidewalk dead and it looks like out of the nest and I was talking to the sidewalk dead,

and it looks like that. Yeah, listen, I can talk about my dick like this. I kind of don't like that you're talking about my life. I'm talking about our collective dick. Oh, the Wii of Dicks. Yeah, gotcha. Okay, then I'm finding that. I just mean in general, a dead dick is probably like,

fucking trash. Oh my God, I've never seen one. I have a friend that is a more- You never seen a dead dick? No, duh. Okay. Like, obviously, I thought you were saying that I've never seen one. I have a friend that is a mortician. You've never seen a dead dick? No. Duh. Okay. Like obviously.

I thought you were saying that is a like, you don't remember that fucking dick. Oh no, no. That's what I thought. I have a friend that's a mortician and I've asked her. I'm like, what are like, dicks like dead? That's a fucking inappropriate question. Why?

Tell me about the cocks of the dead. Yeah, I was like, what'd she say? What'd she say? She said like, they're just, they're just dicks. Oh, it's nothing cool. And no, I don't think anything really cool happens. But like, I wonder, like, do they ever get hard? And she's like, no, their blood is not pumping.

That's why they are considered dead. But sometimes they like still move. No. Yeah, they do. Hmm? Bro, dead bodies move. No. Yes.

No. I. No. I've heard that. I've heard that like something. Oh, watch this. Everything that you heard about that sentence right there is not right. I've heard that like bodies have like, just it's like the nervous system

still like moving or something. There's still like a jolt in there. It's like a dead car battery. Like it's still got something to get you home, but it might not fucking let you do it. I tell you this right now What if I'm at a wake and a body twitches? I punch Chis punch is Frankie

Oh, yeah, you got it you got it crazy I've thought about like as a prank at my funeral putting like doing like open casket and Putting like a piston behind my back, and a piston on the door, so it'd be, or a closed casket, so, like, every now and then, when someone's, like, praying over me or something, like, they're sad or whatever, it just flies open in my body, and she fucking just, like, pops up.

Can you imagine that? Hey, man, you've thought about doing that? Yeah. Weird. No. Weird thing. No, I don't think it's weird. Oh, it is, though. No, you'll pay for that if I die, right? thing. No, I don't think it's weird. Oh, it is though

No, you'll pay for that if I die right long no no, hey this casket by the way Can we set it up to be a little prank? Your mom would fucking kill me people are crying and shit no use this is evidence They'll be like oh this is what Frankie wanted. I think if the dead people say they want something and then you don't give it to them They haunt you so like do you think that we should be more playful with dead bodies I like you know like at a wake like they just sit there and they're like praying and stuff like yeah like put them like this like I'm fucking so down super super fucking yeah yeah 100% yeah like oh that would be that would be but like every single one's like I'm just laying down like yeah, I don't want

I'm out here. I want some color when I'm dead. You know like a football. You know all right I would I'd be cool with like a like a beer and beer you know I'm like even like I like a like a rack under like a case under my arm, you know Like a 30 rack like a 30 rack and it was like you know Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I'm like that I was like, I'm dead. I just want like laugh about it. dress me up. Stand me up. Yeah, it's fuck these like caskets I love me in a chair and let me sit there and have people sit in my lab like I'm staying close at the mall I've thought about also I have plans for my funeral like

Stuff me and prop me up, like against the wall. Yeah, they've done that. Have they? I've seen a thing, I don't know what country it was in, but they just like put the guy with like sunglasses on and he sat him in a chair and people were like taking photos with him. Well, that's the other thing I've been thinking like,

you know, like set it up, close casket, stuff me. Again, I'm getting stuffed here. And you put me in like a trench coat and a hat and glasses and like in the last row of seats, just sitting, just watching, and like people come up doing like I'm so sorry, and I'm so excited. I'm like, oh my God, this guy's freezing cold. This guy hasn't moved an inch.

I think that we should be a little more playful with the dead bodies. Yeah, I think if the dead, like before they go, if they're like cool with it, yeah, you're like, you know, like you don't want to like get like insensitive, but they say like, no, no, no, let me be. Cool package, you know, he should be able to go. There they're like cool with it, you're like, you know, like you don't wanna like get like insensitive, if they say like, no, no, no, let me be. Cool package, you know, he should be able to go like,

there should be a fun, don't, listen up. Clown package, we can't buy them. Watch this. He's like a clown. Trademark copyright, we are coming up with like the first like hip, fun, cool, playful line of funeral homes. I'm just saying, live in up the dead.

So like, you know, like you have, like we're all about having fun when we're alive. Oh, Chuck E. Cheese, cool. I mean, let's have some more fun and up the dead. So like, you know, like you have like we're all about having fun when we're alive. Oh Chuckie cheese, cool. I mean, let's have some more fun when we're dead. So like it would be called like something like you it'll be called like you can't spell funeral without fun. That's the way to the more. Or we put the fun in funeral. No, that'll be our tagline.

Doesn't tag lines. Or it can just be called fun hyphen or roll. Thank you better. I think of it, you know, and that is we like we put the fun in funeral or like maybe just have like a food fight after thing Oh, you know like last time you had a food fight six great talk about six grade Yeah, so it's like you talk about food fights and be like yo those were so fun Some people have never been in a food fight now imagine out of funeral. You're like oh, thank god he died Oh, I get to have a food fight. Now imagine how to food roll. You're like, oh, thank God he died. Oh, I get to have a food fight. I'm not even lying when I say this.

I can't tell you how excited I just got to be the guy at the beginning of the food fight that sits up and goes, food fight! And then you launch up things. And then just someone just throws fucking beans across the room. Let me just, I'm being completely serious right now. They need to be safe foods though.

They can't be apples. No, no, no, no, that's a crazy thing. You know, you can't have- Just think about this. For a second, just think about this. Yeah. If that was the thing, somebody dies and the funeral is actually a food fight, right?

One, we don't get dressed up in these ridiculous black suits. You can dexter that room up, you know what I mean? Like, you can do- We put up plastic wrap. Plastic wrap, you're good. Yeah. And like, some people, like I said, have never been in a food fight

and food fights are fun for everybody And you get covered in food and everyone laughs and stuff and you get to throw like a you know a carton of it You know how your grandma and you look over and you see your good friend just get hit in the face with like pizza pizza What you're really sick of a pizza here. I'm thinking softer foods like fucking like re-fried beans Okay, you know something out and hit and it splatters and looks like- Like Matt, you just smack mashed potatoes on your dead-frog. Oh, yes. That's a cool last memory.

I'm just like, that would be so fun. Yeah. Oh my god, he's so, like, he's so peaceful. I don't wanna be peaceful. I'm not a mashed potato. I don't wanna be peaceful when I'm dead. I wanna be fucking rock on, you know? Yeah.

Place of music, dude. I mean, there are put, like my grand, nope, uncle. He had something I think like his managed cultures are called like the five wishes, which you say it in Spanish by saying? Stingolishes. Right, though. You are in wrong. But in Colombia, his wake was.

Because bro, it's only the US that like, our shit is so boring. Bro, it's really like only our culture and like a couple other that treat death as like the saddest. Like there are obviously instances, but like across the world, a lot of like people that die it's viewed as like a celebration of their life. Right.

And my uncle was like, yo, Margaritas, fire. Mariyachi band and like, so the Margaritas, you didn't say that. But like, with the whites have taken over the Margaritas kind of. And the Mariachis, you know, I'm telling you there's a Brooklyn band that calls himself like Los Mariachis. Okay. And they're like three like white guys like that like have like a Mexican on. One of them went to Mexico one time. Yeah. And they like, they like, they're like three like white guys like that like have like a Mexican on one of them went to Mexico one time Yeah, and they've like they like they do like new way of mariachi music, you know They do a cover don't don't give me any

No, so he had a mariachi band a Margaritas and like I think he said like there was other stuff too But like there was music like so you went to no, I didn't go it was in Columbia my dad went though and he said it was dope, dude That sounds what I'm talking about Margaritas at That sounds fun. That's what I'm talking about. Mark, maybe he's at my fucking funeral, dude. That's what I want. I want a fun ass time. Yeah. People can cry and be like, damn, he was sick.

But then also, I want everyone fucking high-fiving because of how much fun they're having. Have a food fight at my shit. You know, like a happy... You know, like a fun high-five. When you're at a sports game and someone scores you, you're like yeah, and you just high five a random person. Like you high five and then you pull it down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want my wake and funeral to be there. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Alright, we've, I think we have a Patreon episode where we previously planned our own funeral. You know what I like? We're like, remember back in the day, I don't know why this was a thing. But like back in the day, I'm just picturing, remember the times where they would like spray

paint an old car and they just beat it with a hammer. You've never seen that? I've seen it remember the times, but I don't remember that being a thing. It was like what they did for like, like their homecoming game or something. They were like spray paint it with like the name of the fucking- That's such an Alabama thing dude dude. But yo, smashing shit with a sledgehammer Sick all like our funeral was just like one of those like smash rooms

Where it's like you walk in you get in protective gear and everyone gets an aluminum bat No, you can't do that. There's old people around Food fight those safe food fight but like also like it's like oh you can like you can eat you can You can smash a TV monitor and like pay your respects at the same time, you know? That'd be sick. Just don't smash the coffin. You paid a lot of money for that.

No, you can smash the coffin. You can give it a little love tap. It'll be closed though. Or like it'll be clear. And I'll be standing up watching the smashing and you can hit the coffin. You know what would be dope? If at my funeral everyone could come up

and sign my body like I'm in a cast. Like, you know, like it's six grade. I got signatures like, yo, If at my funeral everyone could come up and sign my body like I'm in a cast like Like it's sixth grade I got signatures like yo, he was the coolest guy on my face like it's six grade And like I remember I was six grade I think across my forehead Everyone went like the last day of school. We're like a white t-shirt and people would sign it I should like that that would be fine my body. They would leave some that would be pretty cool Like they can tattoo my corpse a lot of care at that point Could you that is sick. Why not? Oh? Yeah, like tattoo like something on my corpse and just being like, you know, one of our friends with drunk penis naturally

You yeah, you draw you dick drawn boy. Yeah, I would I think those are really good ideas How did we get here from naked in attraction? No idea naked attractionaked attraction. Oh, I talked about dying naked in the shower. Right. I would not be sick. I don't think about that though, at all. But I think that would be cool. To live and up a funeral a little bit. Throw a food fight in there.

Like grandma get hit with some peas. Hello everyone. Everyone bring like a bag of food they want to throw. Just like I said, nothing dangerous. No apples. Nothing hard. No, no, what, what, what, what, what? all produce really unless it's mashed to produce bananas dude you can throw banana an unwrapped Banana classic. Yeah, you know milk a lot of milk of course milk

Juices and waters, you know you can get like grapes Yeah, but grapes gotta be careful you could do eggs, but like you got to be careful because those shells are not. No hard boiled eggs. Oh no, you hurt somebody. Yeah. Eggs, the shells can really hurt someone. Like I think I knew someone that got like,

the fuck their eye up. But we can do helmets, I think, with like visors. Oh, and now we're good. Yeah, that would be mad fun, dude. I want to have a food fight. Bro, do you think that would be a good fucking like business thing? You know what have smash rooms like what if you just went into a place and have food fight with your boys And they've provided the food to your saying a lot here Joey the TMTM TMTM TMTM Copyright copyright we should do a Santa got a studio's food. That's not how you get a copy of it though. We should do a Santa got a studio's food fight

Just like boys just in here not in here, it's carpet. We just rent a room, that's just like... And throw stuff at us. Tile floors and like we just like, just have a food fight. That'd be so sick, dude. Why is food fighting so fun? Because we're asshole Americans who waste so much food.

There are people that are starving in the world. We can donate it at the end. No. After we've thrown it all over the place. You can't. We should say like, for every pound of food After we've thrown it all over the market. You can't. We should say like, for every pound of food that we throw, we're gonna donate two pounds to someone else. That makes sense.

That would be better. If we open up the business, it'll be, what's that called? Philanthropic? No, yeah, well, yeah. Put them saying like a portion of the profits will go towards. Ending world hunger.

Something. I think that's, look, we might be honest Joey because remember paintball food five funeral food five funeral you fight you know triple F I love that yeah kind of about that triple triple F funerals you want to make your shit fun or do you want to fucking boring one where I did not just be like put the fun in funeral yeah you're not the first person to say that but but I'm on, please. No one's coined it. It's true.

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who probably is one of the smartest men alive was because now he's in jail. But the dude who like, he's been faking heart attacks in restaurants, so he could skip out of the bill, which is a lovely way to do it. Yeah, gentleman was arrested. I believe he was a fifth year old guy was arrested

for faking heart attacks at 20 different restaurants and skipping out on the bill. Gotta say, I don't know if it was arrested here or elsewhere. I didn't call it. You got it? There has to be a level of like, in like the legal system where it's like, if it's so rad, you're just like, fuck, I can't.

Yeah, just tap them up. Just like the fucking, you know, judge, just like, just like, don't do it again. I feel like if you commit a crime, that isn't like one of the heinous ones, but like Robin a bank or something. I'm just like all right. Yeah, I get that those are bad. Yeah, are they? But it's just cash cash is fake Yeah, but you're also putting the people that are you know in this situation through you know, oh yeah, dramatic event

Yeah, but we just forget about those people. Oh, yeah, okay bank tellers are not people. Yeah, no of course Not there, but it's cool, but if it's cool like oceans 11 like if you're able to pull that off I think that we should just give someone a high five. Yeah, dude I agree if you can if you can rob like a major casino like that do it then not even just do it, but like You should be allowed to because like look at like in If they can, if you could pull some shit like that, they should just be like, you know what? I, all right, okay. I think it's fire.

And like, but you need to put a movie together of it too. Of course. Like there should be like a little asterisk at the end of like certain crimes. It's like, but if it's rad, did you say that word right? Asterisk? Asterisk.

Yeah you did. Yep. I don't, I took me a while to like figure that word right? Asterisk? Asterisk. Yeah you did. Yep. I took me a while to like figure that word out just now. Wow. Tough day for you huh? Yeah. Hats a little too tight around your head. So we're bullying? So we're gonna bully? I'll bully you a little bit. Relax. I needed a second.

I thought you said it wrong. This guy didn't deserve to be arrested. It's not asterisk. No. An asterisk. Look it up. You're not gonna believe me. So look it up. I's not asterisk. No, an asterisk. Look it up. You're not going to believe me. So look it up.

I believe you. Oh, wow. Thanks. You're welcome. Appreciate it. I promise I'm not lying to you. We're talking about crime. Now I'm wondering.

Asterisk. Now I'm wondering. Asterisk. No, I think you're right. You are right. Asterisk. Asterisk. Asterisk.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm right. Asterisk. They should have, the cops should have just been like,. Asterisk? Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm right. The cops should have just been like, listen, that wouldn't cool, but like... Fire, though. Fucking smart, dude. Yeah, yeah. But it also depends on where he's doing this shit.

Who? The sky. Oh. Doing the heart attack. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, if you're skipping out on an apple of these bills, give me a break. I mean, it's pretty cheap. Yeah, like, you know, but if he's going to like fucking... It's dollar-reta's, dude.

Yeah, like, come on, let's pay your bill. If he's going to like, you know, fucking like a five-star restaurant he's doing that shit, that's dope, pretty genius. Honestly, you should do it at those restaurants because clearly everything's overpriced. Yeah, and like this is like, I don't wanna say I have victimless crime.

No, there's a victim. There's some pretty clear victims here. The way it is. The people, yeah, they lose that on tip. If you're doing it at big chains though, I'm okay with it. Yeah, no one cares enough, like go and do it all day every day, like an olive garden or something. No one cares much about that.

Oh yeah, no, you know I've never been to an olive garden. I have. Save yourself the time. Also, unlimited breadsticks, I'm not really incentivized. No, I don't like breadsticks. They like are loaded with like butter and salt and garlic. So like I'm right back in. Love that. And they're hard or they soft. I haven't been in over 10 years, but you have to know. I vaguely remember them being chewy. Like I rather that. I don't like a hard bread. Yeah, I't I mean I like I like brother a story of bakery We when we were younger we would always get their their seeded breadsticks. Holy shit. I hate those. Oh my god

I see did breadsticks in their heart. I hate that. They're so good though My dad is disgusting, but my dad used to get like the the bread I think it's like break stone whipped butter You know what I'm talking about? And he would just dip the fucking breadstick in there. Hence my dad's cholesterol. Just wanna put that out there. Yeah, I was gonna say blood pressure cholesterol. Shouldn't be eating that much fucking butter. Yeah, didn't stop him the first 63 years of his life.

Things happen, yeah, people change. Your dad was slamming a black and mild last time I saw him. It was cool. I mean, yeah, the sun came up and we'll fucking, you know, the day will go on. There are certain things. Death taxes, my dad's smoking black and mild. Like he's a 13 year old Puerto Rican.

You smoked a black and mild? Never have. Right. I know you did. I remember I remember you used to have packs of them in. Don't even. Joey. I don't have packs of black and mild.

I've smoked like two in my life. That's bullshit. You had packs of black and miles. Packs? No, I did not. Look, Jit, I, and this is not a joke here. The only time besides my father and you that I've seen people smoke black and miles was in sixth grade. Like the kids like sneaking them in the fucking backstair well. I don't know why I smoked that. That's such a weird thing to smoke too. Someone gave me it. No, you had a pack.

Frankie, I promise you, I did not go to a store and buy black and mild. I'd be so scared. Why would you be scared? That people would know. Yeah, well, now they know. Now we're talking about it. I know.

But I didn't do that. Which was flavor. Was it the wine one? It was vanilla wine. Yeah, my dad has one that's like red wine flavor I'm like dad double said you've been sober for so long just if you're gonna do that you might as well just drink Smoking alcohol. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy, right. I wouldn't even want a smoke wine I kind of would

Fuckin love wine if the if there was like a wine. Are you a red wine or a white wine? Red. I'm a red guy. We're not turn to the day. I mean, yeah, I'm not really drinking much wine now to begin with. I'm just sayin'. And I'm not a sweet wines, guys. So I'll do like a dry- you know, like a dry-reasling. You're like a rosé? You're like rosé?

Oh, not really. I fuck with rosé. I mean, I feel like rosé. I mean, I guess- I guess- Bitch. Okay, alright, okay, I guess I'm like- You know what, rosé? I mean, I- I've not had Bitch. Okay, all right. Okay, I guess I like Rose. You don't like Rose.

I mean, I've not had enough to like make a hard stance on it. You got to drink Rose in the sunlight, dude. Let the fucking sun hit your face and drink a Rose. I really don't, though. You 100% do. Why? Why? Because it's a fucking fire, like, experience of life.

No, I'm pretty okay. Rose. I've experienced a lot outside. I've experienced a lot in my life to rest. Where I have- I'm having your face. Where I am able to quantify a better life without having done that So fuck you for you say I need a drink it. No, you need it. I'm not I'm not fuck you Rose tell me you drink frozen too Fuck yes, you're so frozen. It's fire dude. You're you and I have no qualms

I'll walk up there. How you doing? Head or sexual man, give me the fucking frosay. Thank you. Yeah, I mean who cares? Honestly, if we're being honest if we're being honest these like first of all why are there gay drinks? But like no, there's some gay drinks but like the gay are the drink the better the drink, dude I'm not kidding. I know I listen I listen There's a lot of people who say that we gave bait sometimes on the show This is not baiting the gaze at all, but when I went to this fucking city field it was gay night I didn't know what I showed up when did you go to city field?

This was last season, but it was like it was like pride night or whatever sweet Relax They're right. Yeah, no freedom wrong.'re not the wrong. They're the same. No freedom to legal. Damn right, I support it. But I went and they had a signature pride drink. And I don't even know what the fuck was in it. But I was like, oh, I'm going to get this.

Because someone got it. And I was like, oh, what the hell is that? And like, I don't know. It's like a pride drink. Some fucking person. And I was like, all right, I'm going to get that. It was fucking sick. Bro, the gayer, the gayer, and I hate that we've described

like there's straight drinks and there's gay drink, but like whatever people consider gay drinks are way better. Like, oh, you can either have this delicious fruity cocktail with mint, or you can have this fucking scotch that tastes like it just came out of an old man's boot. I hate that shit. I do like scotch, but like, there came out of an old man's boot. I hate that shit I do like scotch, but like there's a clear place. There's a clear. There's a clear winner there I need to be I need to be in front of a fireplace if I'm drinking scotch and talking about like a book or something

I love how that I love how that like alcohol culture is just taking that's like you're gonna choke this down and be a man And it's gonna burn your whole fucking hell. Yeah Yeah dude give me a fucking yeah, just give me like a passion fruit mohito. Oh, no, no, I don't really, I mean, it's okay. Passion from Margarita though. What? Passion from Margaritas are fucking crazy though. Someone cut that clip.

I hope you started that. Oh! Because a passion fruit margarita, there's a place on fucking Broadway in Astoria. I forget the name of it. But they have a passion for Margarita. Blow your dolls. They have blow blow. I'm not crazy.

I drank two of them. I had an ulcer. It was great. Oh, what? Not an ulcer. But I had like, I was like, I was like, oh, I was way too much sugar. Oh, well, you're not really doing your self justice here.

No, no, no, it's, but it's incredible. It's just I hadn't eaten that, that day. Mango Margarita. Oh I love margarita dude. I mean so simple. I'm like why why like my I've never had a my tie. I don't know what that is I don't either but like a tequila sunrise good drink is that orange juice orange juice Grenadine and tequila that sounds great. I tell what's wrong with that nothing you know a martinis dude Granted in the green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and green and In an olive jar. Yeah, it's delicious. That's really good. Yeah, that's real cool. It's really good. No, it's gross man also drinking like a kettle one Fucking no, anytime I've gotten them I've gotten like I'd be like yo give me Belvedere or give me fucking goose baby

Oh Grey goose. Oh no. Oh look the great cat species here. Grey goose Fucking what are you talking about a vodka guy only in two ways while I have vodka. In a martini and in a bloody baby. Oh, disgusting. Oh shit. I love him so much. No.

A good fat bloody. A balini dude. Oh, but that's champagne. It's Perseco, yeah. Does that champagne? I think it's, you can only be called champagne if you're from a certain region in France. Oh my, I don't, it's fucking, come on.

Sparkling white wine. Champagne. But we've talked about this ad nauseam, both on our Patreon exclusive brunch episode where we got fucking hammered. We should do that again soon. Should we? Fun? Okay.

Like a Christmas? What? I wish I'd like to eggnog, because I would just get hammered off of that and throw up on a bucket. I'm not going to do that, dude. It's the eggnog is disgusting, too. I like eggnog. It's good.

I mean, but I can't have more than two, you know, because then I would be. And I also don't like spiced rum. Spiced rum is disgusting. Disgusting. You know, but I guess we should make that a Patreon goal. We have like four goals lined up for Patreon right now that we should get blasted. Thanksgiving?

What's a Thanksgiving drink? Like a cranberry, apple, seltzer? Oh. Apple cider shits socks. No, I like good apple cider. Like not like the fucking store bought Matt's produces. But I'm saying like apple cider donuts. Good. Good. Sider beers. They're not beers, they're ciders. and store bond mass produce. But I'm saying like apple cider donuts. Not crazy.

Good. Cider beers. They're not beers, they're ciders. Whatever. It's just cool apple drink. Angry orchard? Disgusting. Disgusting, get them away from me.

I'm not gonna say. Don't literally, if you bring them in my site, I will violently attack you. Okay. Yeah. Let's get drunk soon. What was that? Okay. You could bring's get drunk soon. What was that? Okay.

You could bring your 8% beers. No. And then you get the fucking loose. If I, no, I guess no. Huh? No. I don't know what you're saying. No, that was easy.

No. All right. You can say no. I did. Yeah. And it will stick. Okay. Until you pressure me into saying yes That's usually how that works. That's pretty much. Yeah, please for the love of God

Mimosa will get me going to Rose a outside dude. I'm telling you right we should make a basement yard signature cocktail Bro, do you know how badly I want to make alcohol? Dude, why not I don't I yeah,, I, yeah. I have said this before. I have said this before. If you had to make an alcohol, which one would you make? I think it would be so cool if we partnered with a brewery and we made the basement brew. The basement.

And it's like our brand of like our like limited edition beer. But you could also like make a wine too because like a lot of like old Italian people would make wines in their basement Yeah, but no one's no we are not like if there is a drink that is representative of our show. It's either beer Or beer I feel like you're just saying that I think that's true I don't think people would define this as like a wine show that you're a big wine guy I love just because you got a fucking Portugal and buy boxes of it and shit like that, fuck you.

One box, one box, one box. So stupid. I drank a bottle of that the other night. Was it good? Was it? Damn. I didn't even finish it. You just drank it.

So I drank a lot of wine, because I drank it, some of it, and then I went to dinner, and then when I came home, I poured a glass of it, and I'm looking at it, and obviously I drank while I was at dinner, and I was like, shouldn't drink this, and I put it in the fridge. Oh, uncovered.

Just in a glass? Yeah, okay, bad. I hope you threw that out the next morning. I drank it. Oh, tsh. The next night. Yeah, bad, uncovered. We're good, I ate it.

Well, it was too good to throw away. Now you wonder why you have IBS. the next night. Yeah, bad. Uncovered. We're good. I need it. Well, it was too good to throw away. Now you wonder why you have IBS. It was like a $60 bottle of wine. Okay. So what? A glass was six bucks. You think there's ten glasses of wine in a bottle?

Yeah. No. There's like four. Oh, okay. So a $12, $15. You're fine, Joey. You're fucking big billionaire bitch. I would like to make an alcohol, though.. Oh, okay. So, with $12, $15, you're fine, Joey. You're fucking big, big billionaire bitch. I would like to make an alcohol, though. I think, dude, think about this.

Let's call up the guy. I know, you know the guys. Call up the guys at Secret Handshake Food Co. Let's, oh, that's you. Hey. Make it happen. I know, I would love to. I'm just, I want to be in on this one.

Think about it. Think about it. I want to be in on the test, the testing. Think about this. Imagine we made something like a rosé, right? Which we were to make a rosé, but I'm just saying imagine that. And then we just do Patreon episodes

where you fucking get slashed on. On our own, on our own, but they say never get high on your own supply, Joe. You don't remember when notorious Biggie? That was about crack cocaine. This is rosé, baby. All right, okay. There were two white girls. Let's crack cocaine. This is rosé, baby. All right, okay. There were two white girls.

Let's do it. I'll back it, baby. I'm 100% in. Consider me an investor. I'm not gonna. Oh, but anyway, that's kind of where we can end this. Right, Frank? Where can I find you?

If I ever was any of you on Twitter, the Frank Alvers and all the forms of social media, you could also find me being very upset that you just denied my investing opportunity and how much you're gonna invest $20,000 That's not good I've never I've never done this. I don't know if I have that to invest. There you go. Okay, and then the patreon patreon.com I'm such a big fan. I love you folks. This is all I'm not actually upset

And then the patreon patreon.com slash the basement. I love you folks. This is all I'm not actually upset We're gonna represent that didn't happen guys. You can go follow me at josey and I got to go follow the show at the base Me on a tech talking Instagram and that is all see you guys daddy has to pee Who's that me? I'm daddy got it. See you you