The Basement Yard - #436 - The Pope Said It's Okay!
Episode Date: February 5, 2024If the Pope says it's okay, then it must be fine....right? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the base.
Welcome back to the base me yad people.
It's me.
Joe, I love cock.
Don't.
You do.
No, technically.
Kind of technically.
Hey,
Hey, folks, welcome back to this.
Oh, Josh, by the way, the editing for that,
we're going to show me.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, he gets it.
He's been doing this for a while.
He gets it.
But, yeah, last night I did eat dick.
Well, first, at a restaurant.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no, Josh, you know where to edit that, too.
All right?
Last night, I did eat dick.
Pizzle, it said.
It said, Pizzle and testicles.
Better, but...
It was a soup.
Welcome back, weekly episode, doing it live, large in public,
backwards hat, white t-shirt, you okay?
Oh, you wanted to show off his tattoos.
Fun fact, the other day, someone asked us about Roman numerals,
and he goes, as if I don't know.
Take it easy, brother.
I also pointed to the wrong on.
you also did point to the wrong arm.
It happens.
So wait, we're jumping in hot, heavy.
You're going fucking feet first.
Yeah.
Head first, feet first.
What do you head first?
But when you do a pencil dive, you dive, you go feet first.
Who does that besides children?
And people who are jumping off of tall cliffs.
What's that tallest cliff you've jumped off of?
Not that high.
I'm scared.
At the lakehouse, though, they had two rocks.
You remember those rocks on the other side of the...
Oh, the suicide rock?
One was called suicide rock.
Multiple people have died?
Yeah.
One was called Chair Rock.
You can't jump off them anymore.
There was like one summer where like six people died.
And they were like, all right.
We're no more.
I'll give you five.
Chair Rock, I never jumped off Suicide Rock.
I jumped off Chair Rock.
And that was maybe like 12 feet.
Nothing crazy.
That's not.
But Suicide Rock was like, I was up there, dude.
And the thing about Suicide Rock is like, it went up and curled like that.
And you stood up here.
So you had to run.
So you had to like run down and jump off.
Yeah.
And that's what people would happen is like, because the rock underneath,
they'd hit the rock underneath and they wouldn't, they wouldn't come back up.
It was a suicide mission.
I ever tell you, there was one time where like my dad would bring us on the boat and he'd dock the boat.
Not docked the boat.
He'd anchor the boat.
And we'd get out, we'd swim around, blah, blah, blah.
And the cops come over and they're like, hey, listen, we need you to pull the anchor and leave this area.
Right.
I was like, why?
He's like, someone went under and.
we don't know where they are.
Ew, you were swimming
under a dead body,
on top of a dead body.
Yeah.
Ew.
We moved a boat
and we looked and we watched
them pull someone out
right where we were.
Right fucking where we were.
No, no, no.
I swear to God.
I could never swim on top of the dead body.
I can't, listen, I feel bad.
Yo, why are dead bodies so disgusting?
I just, some of them are kind of cool,
but like,
what?
Which whose?
Like, the way that you die.
A dead body's cool?
Like, the way you die
could make it cooler.
But like when people drown,
They get like white.
And they get blown up.
And they get, well, that happens all the time because.
Is that true?
Yeah, the gases in your body are leaving.
So like that happens, period.
I have a friend that's an undertaker.
Wait, I thought you fill up.
What are you filling up with?
I'm not friends with the undertaker.
I don't know if I'm a lot.
Is this term like still like politically correct now?
Undertaker?
She's like an undertaker or like a mortician.
Yeah, a martian.
Whatever it is.
But she like, she's cool with dead bodies.
She like daps them up all the time.
Every day.
She puts makeup on them.
For her day, every like, anytime I talk, I'm like, any big cocks.
And she's like...
That's the first thing you ask?
Any big dead cock?
Well, you know, if you have a good looking dead dick...
I can only imagine...
Imagine what that...
Imagine if the shit had the sun hitting it.
Yeah, imagine.
Yeah.
It had some fucking, yeah, some good old vitamin D.
Yeah.
But she would say, yeah, all that stuff.
And I remember learning about it during school.
It's like all this stuff happens to your body after, like, rigor mortis.
Yeah.
Where, like, your hands, like, stay like this.
Yeah.
There's a lot of different things.
stuff yeah we were swimming on top of a dead body yeah ew that's so disgusting
what did it look like white like white as like the wall I was gonna say the wall
but that one's green yeah that one is very very white it's just why did you stick
around what's wrong with your dad his children you know men of that generation
they're like you gotta see you guys see you got see what happens way you die yeah
and it's like you know oh don't need that dead bodies are so disgust have you ever
seen a dead body not in like a funeral setting
I don't know
Maybe
Like
I think that's something
That would stick with you
Well there was one time that I was driving
And it wasn't a dead body
But I drove by and I saw like a sheet
Over a person in the street
And I popped a U-turned
Like yo what the fuck
And you went to go see the sheet
No no no but I went to like
You know what happened
Nosey little bitch
Yeah yeah
But then you know what's funny
I made a U-turn
And then I drive back
And then I saw oh they're filming something
And I was let down
That someone didn't die
You know what I mean?
Like,
I was kind of upset.
It's not a real dead body.
I'm like,
fuck,
he's alive under there.
I feel bad,
yeah,
I hear you.
I feel bad because I'm definitely
the type of person in traffic
where I'll be like,
someone better be dead.
And then I drive by
and no one,
I've never seen that happen,
but like I'll be like,
Dan,
that was kind of mean.
Yeah,
like,
nice.
Like,
and people love looking at giant crashes
of,
ooh,
hope they're okay.
Yeah,
well,
like,
why is that a saying
where people like,
you can't look away,
like it's a car crash.
Like definitely look away from a car crash
I'm honest
I can't look away
Really? I have to see everything
Like if I
If a thing
If someone told me like
Oh there's a video of like
I saw one of those earlier
Something happening
I saw one of those earlier
I don't want to talk about it too much
But I saw one of it
Looks like you're gonna bring it up though
Yeah I said too much
Okay
So I'm gonna I'm gonna once I say it
We'll never talk about it again
I'm gonna have questions
It's
It was like a tech CEO
At like an event
Oh and he fell
And he was on like a wire thing
and it was going to come down.
It was like a big like, you know, like, we're here, Silicon Valley.
And it snapped and he fell and didn't make it, unfortunately.
That's sad.
Very sad stuff.
But it's true.
Why do we watch that?
We're like freaks.
I don't know.
We're sick.
Bro, this is why, like, the internet wouldn't have been able to be around for like Harry Potter
because isn't there that, like, thing, the festrals who can only see them if you've seen death?
What are you saying right now?
Everyone, the internet now.
Where did Harry Potter come from?
What are you talking about?
I just, I'm thinking of, like, and Harry Potter, remember the thing for those of those you guys that
don't know Harry Potter.
There are like certain animals,
mystical animals that you can only see
if you've seen death.
Remember?
Destrels, I think they're called.
Okay.
And like now with the internet,
we all see someone die in some capacity.
I guess.
You know, rotten.com,
we'd be seeing,
that testicles walking all over the place.
We've brought that up so many times.
There was a famous video that went viral.
You ever see it?
Where the guy's like,
he's like at like a press conference or something.
And then why are we talking about this?
Death.
But then,
but then he gets like an envelope
and he just takes out a,
gun and shoots himself. No! I saw that when I was young. Oh. And it researched. That's sad. No?
Funny reaction to what I'm saying. Oh. Well, I feel bad for your innocence. It was ripped from you and
shut. I was rewinding it. I was fascinated by it. Really? But blood is just pouring out.
Oh, no, no, no. All right. All right. Come on. The YouTube's dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big YouTube. I'm not,
I'm not showing the video. I'm just saying. I'm sure people have seen it. They know what I'm talking about
because it was like a very viral thing. That's not nice. That's not.
not good. No, I wasn't. I didn't love it.
I saw a tweet once and it was like
J.K. Rowling said that Harry Potter takes place during the 90s
and that's the most unrealistic thing because at no point in time
did any of the kids at Hogwarts just go, man, the bulls are on
quite the run, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, no. But you had, so you ate a dick.
You ate a dick. I went to this place,
I believe it's pronounced Knox. Oh, you're just giving them the free plug,
huh? Yeah, I mean, it's a new restaurant. It's very,
good. It's a, it's Filipino food, and they had a soup that had a penis and balls in it. What kind
of penis? I believe bull, but I don't know. Was that thing huge? No, it was all chopped up. Oh,
they didn't even give the bull like you didn't, you couldn't even like sit there and revel at this
bull's cock while you're eating it? Just like by the way, good for you. No, it wasn't shaped like a
carrot or something. They just chopped it up. Yeah, it was like mixed up. Was it like chewy? Was it just
like regular?
I don't know which meat was which.
I'm assuming they taste different.
Well, it was dick and balls, right?
Yeah, it was all mixed up into the soup.
Was there any, you couldn't make any distinction between either of them?
I could, I knew that there was like two different types in there, but I didn't know which was which.
One of them was a little more chewy than the other.
That's got to be the dick.
I was assuming that.
It's got to be the dick because you can't, you can chew on a dick.
You can't chew on balls.
Not with that attitude.
But, like, think about it.
It was mad good, though.
Like, you know, like, those old, like, rubber, like, little, like, guys you'd put on your finger that, like, when we were kids, they'd always be in, like, goody bags.
You could chew on them.
I feel like that's what a dick would be.
Okay.
No?
A dick's like a muscle, right?
Is this muscally?
Yeah.
But isn't, like, steak, like, the muscle?
Steak is muscle, yeah.
So why would it be...
I mean, I guess steak can be chewy if you don't, like...
Yeah, if you, like, if you eat raw steak, I can imagine.
Yeah, it's true.
It's very, very chewy.
I've seen videos of these weird whites
just eaten raw steak.
Well, this fucking liver king guy
He's out there and he's doing like...
He's mixing.
I saw one and I had to turn away.
And it's funny.
I'll watch the people fucking dying painful deaths.
I literally was going to say...
But I'll be like,
oh, raw chicken.
No, no, no.
I've watched a video of a guy
shooting himself in the mouth multiple times
but watching the liver king eat like a liver
as like gross.
Dude, he put like,
it was like heavy cream
and just like several
raw chicken breasts in a blender and blended it up and drank it and he's like this is a burst of
this guy it's funny he's like listen i don't know the liver king i know that there was some stuff that came
out that he actually did use some you know i mean he admitted it he was doing fucking stuff
yeah yeah but like he doesn't look healthy right like he doesn't look so red he looks like he looks
like he sneezes so much and holds it all in you know what i'm saying like this guy he looks like he's
been farting inside of himself for 10 years and it's just going out like yeah
He's not gaining muscle.
He's just getting more air in his butt.
Yeah.
But he is strong, but also there's a lot of air in you.
Yeah.
Well, apparently that could have been the, you know,
anabolic steroids that he was maybe ingesting.
It could have.
And he looks always sunburn.
Yeah, he doesn't look like healthy.
He looks like, you know that one kid everyone knew in high school that never did
Coke, but looked like they did all of the Coke?
We didn't have a kid like that in my school.
Oh, that's right.
Because in your school, they all admitted doing Coke.
Joey went to fucking,
preppy Catholic school
where if they weren't doing drugs
they were fucking blowing lines off the pastor's wing wangs
Jesus
maybe that's what you were eating
No I would not
What would you do honestly?
Yeah
Honestly honestly honestly
Yeah
If tomorrow
This restaurant gets shut down
Because it was like
And it's like by the way
It was
It was person pizzle
It wasn't like fucking
Um
I don't know that that would have a huge effect on me
You wouldn't be like
You wouldn't have a moment of like
I would have a moment of like
I would have a moment of like
I would have a person person.
moment of being like, ew, you just made me a cannibal. But then I've also already been on record saying it was delicious.
So like, those Filipinos, they really know how to spice up a human dick. Yeah. Well, I guess so. Yeah. But all the food, literally every single dish we had at this place was good.
What was the suit? Was it like a like a, like a, like a, like a, like a bisque soup or like it was like a, I don't know what a biscuit is. Like a,
bisque is like a chowder. It's like cream based kind of. No, it was like it felt like a broth.
thing.
Sounds really good.
No, it was very good.
I had a fat lobster bisque last night.
Did you?
I've never had lobster bisque, but I would like one.
I mean, you need good lobster bisque.
You can't get like dog shit lobster bisque.
What do you think I'm going to like a fucking drive-thru at Wendy's?
I don't know.
I don't know.
You know, but they were like, do you want a half portion or a whole portion?
I was like, oh, half.
Half.
Because I was also getting a big old fat steak.
Oh.
You're big on the like full meal?
But I want a French onion soup or some sort of soup.
Yes.
So here's what.
You're like a pre-dinner soup.
Becca and I went out to dinner with friends and it was we got fucking, we got octopus.
Let me tell you.
It was like a spicy.
It was pulpo like a spicy.
You know, don't ask me the name of it.
Got it ain't they?
Some really good fucking gada mod.
Gallomad.
Yeah.
Hey, um, one gadamad, please.
Do you say galamad?
No, I say calomar.
Okay.
I'm not going to be like that.
You know, but then half soup and then a fucking, like, 44 ounce dry age.
44.
Porterhouse, dog.
Did you all eat that?
No, that was just for me and the other dude that was there.
We shared it.
44 is a ridiculous.
Yeah, it was big.
It was big.
Did it come home with you or you fucking crushed it?
No, I fucked that.
I fucked that thing all night.
Let me tell you, I fucking, that steak had stood no chance.
Did you wake up sweating?
Honestly, a little bit.
Yeah.
dude. I mean, anytime I eat like a lot of steak, like when we went to Keynes, I went to, I went, I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like, I'm soaking wet.
Bro, on the drive home that night after Keynes.
By the way, if you guys don't know, New York, it's like a famous New York City steakhouse.
But they're like, what do you want?
70 ounce mutton chops that are this thick and this big.
And it comes with two.
On the drive home, I was like, I am going to throw up.
Yeah, yeah.
Not because I didn't feel all, but there was just so much meat in me.
It just felt like the right thing to do.
fucking packed with meat and I couldn't physically couldn't let not throw up
packed with me but I held out I didn't throw up yeah but the fucking half portion was like
this big I was like yeah what is a whole portion so he had a lot of lobster in there
there's some chunks there's some fucking fat chunks in there I love lobster oh there was like this
Jonah crab that how's that it's a crab well why why does he got a cool name yeah that's why
we just give things names Jonah crab Jonah crab
Joshua tree.
That's just a place.
That's a bit I was actually like trying to work through.
Working it out.
But it came out like this, like in a crib.
Imagine you're a cool tree and someone just names you Joshua.
It's a very biblical name.
I know, but like that kind of sucks, right?
Like name me something fucking sick, like Zach.
It's not, I don't think there's trees named Joshua trees.
It's just like a place.
No, I think it's named the place is named Joshua tree because of the trees.
I don't know that.
We're, you know what?
We're not going to look it up.
That's a species of tree?
I think it's like a type of tree because there are trees that have like biblical meanings.
Like the burning bush.
No, I think that was like a physical thing that happened.
Like it was a, well, no, burning bushes are they turn red in the fog.
Isn't it funny to think about that in the Bible where it's like the burning bush and that Jesus reveals himself or God reveals himself.
Oh, I don't know.
You're telling me here.
No, no.
So that's a thing.
And like there was a burning bush.
And it's like, oh, God is.
That's how he's choosing to tell everyone he's back.
But I was like, yo.
Because think about it, if you don't know anything about spontaneous combustion,
and a tree just sets on fire, you're like, there's some magic afoot.
But now we know about spontaneous combustion.
Yeah.
Wildfires are.
Sometimes trees just explode.
And wildfires are a naturally occurring thing in, you know, the environment.
Even though it's not naturally occurring, there is a laser, a death laser in the sky,
and it's blowing it up, and it's burning all the trees.
And all the rich people are buying up the land.
Yeah, your Illuminati people are going to come get you.
So, my dad's got me clued in on all this.
No, but there's, there's like a thing.
What is the fucking dogwood trees?
I remember when for the first birthday, Becca's first birthday after Ruby was born,
I got her a dogwood tree for the house.
And her father told.
Is this going to be like a full tree or like an indoor tree?
A full tree.
Like it's planted outside.
Oh.
Yeah.
What's that?
In the backyard.
No, it's in the front.
Oh.
But Becca's dad was like, oh, that has a very biblical meaning.
And I'm like, why?
And he's like, apparently the wood of the cross was.
made of dogwood trees.
So that's why when dogwood trees, if you look at their bark, it's like, you know, like
the ground in a bug's life?
You know what I'm talking about?
I do.
You know what exactly?
It's all cracky.
It's all cracky.
That's what the bark looks like.
And it's like because it's like weeping because it was used to like crucify Jesus.
Oh, oh.
But it's probably just because the tree grows that way, right?
Yeah, it probably made it.
I don't want to, you know.
Things happen.
It's totally fine.
Just the nature.
It happens to be nature.
Sometimes it does.
Yes.
So are you going back for more cock and balls?
I would.
Like, you got the taste of it now?
Like, you got the...
Oh, no, I don't have, like, a craving for dicks or balls.
I'm just saying we had a soup.
We all shared the soup.
It comes out in, like, a cauldron.
And then she ladled it all out.
Oh, smart.
The presentation's a big part of it.
If this thing just came out in a regular plate...
The cocktails at this place, too, were, like...
Are there any restaurant that do, like, they serve, like, vagina?
Like, horse vagina or something?
That would be a big vagina
Well, chop it up
I've never seen a horse vagina
And that's probably for the best
But no, I haven't
I've seen a horse's
You've seen a horse's fucking how you do skis
Yeah, yeah
I've definitely seen that
But I've never seen where it goes
Are there any, is there any place
Where you can eat like animal vagina
Why are you trying to
I mean, it's interesting no
Like there's the famous saying is like
You know eat everything on the pig
Except for the squeal
So like if it's a female pig
are you eating, you know?
I had some jowls yesterday, too.
What's that?
I think that's like your cheeks.
Oh, like guanchale or something like that?
Yeah, I don't know.
But like, it was like jowls
and they were like barbecue and they were unbelievable.
Pig cheek? I'll do it.
We got two orders of those.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Fuck, dude.
It is weird that we're eating all these animals.
Yeah.
Because like you see a pig and you're like, I like, I like pigs.
Yeah, I can't.
These people that go out there and make hunting their whole personality.
By the way, stand up.
Show them your pants.
and by the way Joey is wearing camo pants
he walked in I was like
elk or deer what are we going for today
I think I've worn these before
yeah they've always looked stupid
I got it
but like the people that make hunting their whole personality
like they take a picture like holding the antlers
of a dead deer like
cool man your cock is tiny
I really would
I think that hunting is kind of cool
would you do it
I probably would but I'd burst into tears
but I would like I'm not
against it at all. Like, what movie was that? Oh, forgetting Sarah Marshall. I'm sorry. I would
never be able to do that. I would never be able to do that. Like dad would do that in Colombia.
Like skinning an animal I can never do ill gross. Dude, my dad would when he would go to
Columbia when we were kids, he'd come back and he had he brought like a digital camera with him and he was like,
yo look at he's like look at the pictures of Columbia. They were fucking so much fun. I was like,
all right, cool. And he'd be like dad, why are you stabbing a pig? And he's like, oh, it's like
a thing where like you stab a pig in the heart and you let it bleed and then you
burn the hair off, like, just wild shit.
The hair off.
Yeah, it's fucking...
I'm a stink.
You ever burn your hair by accident?
It stinks.
Yeah, but it's not that bad.
It's, it's not, I've smelled way worse coming from my body.
And it didn't require any burning.
But it felt like burning.
Yeah, no, I mean, I think I could, I could, you know, like a shooting a bar and arrow at something.
But then you got to eat it.
You got to, like, you know, you do the whole circle of life thing.
Bro, we watch alone.
I wouldn't go hunting.
thing just to hunt and like leave it dead.
The show alone where like they're hunting and then they shoot just like a little squirrel.
I'm like this is fucking I'll eat it.
But like it's kind of sad.
I'm pretty sure I've eaten squirrel by accident like not on purpose.
How do you stumble into a squirrel's fucking meat?
There was a cousin of mine had gotten a cabin at the lake like 20 years ago.
And there were a very eclectic Colombian group.
And one of them was like a really great cook.
and we went over one day
and he was like have some soup
and we're laughing about it
he's like it's Sancocho and we're like
oh okay and I'm like what's the meat
and he's like squirrel
and we're like ha ha ha ha ha
so he made squirrel soup
probably yeah
did he kill it in the backyard
I assume
you think what you think he just like
lured it into the fucking pot
no I thought that he like
brought the meat
I don't think you could buy squirrel meat
and you would like eat a New York City squirrel
those things are fucking radioactive
that's what I'm saying
saying, I'd be scared.
Maybe that's why I got all these tummy aches.
Because of the squirrel soup.
Could be.
Who knows?
Not the Taco Bell.
I like try any food for the most part.
Oh, we're going to hold you to that.
Yeah.
Bro.
My new...
I'm sorry.
It's going to turn into a spire.
He's like, yo.
My new obsession is there's this couple on TikTok who their whole thing is just showing
exotic tropical fruit.
And he's like, he's like had,
like a fruit-only diet for like eight years.
And he'll like pick up this thing that looks like dog shit.
And he's like, this is the most delicious, delectable fruit I've ever.
And it's like spider snake fruit.
And like, there's just wild shit out there.
I might get a box.
Maybe we'll try it on a Patreon episode.
Try a bunch of like weird fruits?
Yeah.
Okay.
Have you ever had dragon fruit?
I've never had it.
Yeah.
I've had dragon fruit hundreds of times.
How does it taste like?
Honestly, the ones that I've had, nothing.
Really?
Yeah.
But I've, I've, I heard they make you a shit.
There's like, yeah, the yellow ones, if you eat a whole one, it'll, like, clean you out.
Yeah, you'll, like, turn you into water or something.
We should try that.
30,000.
The first one of shit loses.
30,000 patrons.
It's like Edward Scissor Hands, but with, Edward 40 Hands, yeah.
Edward Scissor Hands is a movie, Joey.
What the fuck?
What's wrong with you?
I forget.
It's funny, since we're talking about penis.
I don't know if you saw it, but the Pope is back in, I was going to say in town.
I don't think he is.
Is the Pope ever burned in New York?
had to. Of course, dude. When was the last time he was in New York? I've never seen the guy.
Just because you haven't seen him, means he's not been here. This guy, you know he's coming.
You got to see you to believe. And he's like, actually goes against the entire thing. The Pope is just like, I am coming to bless people and go to Nobu.
But like definitely got to like, you know, bless people and go to like St. John's Catholic. Where's that? St. John's Cathedral.
Who? The Pope. You don't think he's going there? What's St. John? Oh, you said St. Patrick's.
St. Patrick's. That's right. I was like, what the fuck is St. The President's Cathedral. I forgot. I'm not a, you know.
St. Pats, beautiful church.
Wild.
Good Nativity set.
Really?
Really good.
I used to go with my family to go to Rockefeller Center, and that's like right across the shit.
Yeah, that's what we did this year.
So we would go in there, and then, like, we would look at the nativity scene, and it would be like, oh, cool.
That place is, like, it has, like a reverence to it.
And I'm not a big religion guy, but, like, you walk in there and it's like, who.
Yeah, it's crazy.
And also, if you go all the way in the back, like, behind the altar, they have, like, fucking catacombs.
Yeah.
Where like there's like
Pokes are buried.
Yeah.
And shit like that.
Kind of crazy.
Bones.
Catercombs.
I love them.
Hold on.
Yeah, I do too.
I think I love catacombs.
Because going down...
What a name.
Under the catacombs also, I'm thinking honeycombs.
It sounds cool.
I'm also thinking skulls.
I'm thinking skulls.
I'm thinking bones.
Like, what a great name for something.
And I'm thinking of honeycombs as well.
Like, listen, there is a few times in history where something could be kind of scary or
not good and the name just like pushes it into a level of like kind of sick catacombs is really cool
whoever marketed catacombs i think it was the french good for them they were on to something there
good fries good catacombs you know if you go but it's going underground and the walls are made
of like dead heads is kind of cool to me kind of sick like kind of sick don't hate it i want to touch
it i kind of do you i've wanted i've wanted to touch yeah like i want to touch a human skull oh a thousand
percent. I'm with you 100 percent there. And like they knew what they were doing.
Like, yo, what's down there? The catacombs. Also, bro. Oh. Shout out to archaeologists.
No, no, no, no. I'm going to be honest with you. I, that's a tough one for me.
Say it one more time. I'm going to say it, but then I need you to say it to coach me.
Bingo. Got it. Archie. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Archaeologists.
Is that right?
So I was like adding archaeologists.
You said archaeologists.
Yeah.
Like it's the fuck is, they're like lollipops.
Damn, line of lollipops.
Archaeologists.
Right now I can't say it.
Archilologists.
Archie lollipops.
And they're like lollipops and inside is little dinosaurs.
Yeah, a little dinosaur.
But yo, shout out to them because I don't know how they.
Shout out to you at archeologian.
God damn it.
Now you got me doing it.
Shout out to the archaeologists.
Because if I was them and I uncover like dinosaur bones and I got that little like brush.
Oh.
First of all, the brush is fire, bro.
Dude.
Brushing bones and you're like, seeing that it's the rib of a fucking triceratops or something,
how do you not pick up these bones and just go?
Yeah.
I mean, they do.
I think they, like, hold them up sometimes if they unearth them.
And they're like, oh, this is a, you know.
But how do you look at a bone and you go, like, this is a toe of a plaviosaurus or something?
Also, bro, how do you not just put that shit in your backpack?
Yeah, that's kind of wild.
Who's going to know?
That's what I'm saying?
What bone?
I will say, I love the movie Jurassic Park for several reasons.
Mm-hmm.
close to the start of the movie when they're in the desert and they're fucking...
I love that.
That is one of my favorite scenes because it's just like...
It looks so satisfying.
Oh my God, it looks so good.
Also watching a T-Rex step into the mud?
Dude.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, I wanted to eat mud so bad.
You want to eat mud sometimes.
Sometimes.
100% of the times I see mud and I go, I want to just...
I have this thing in my brain where like if I see something appealing, the first place I go is I want to eat it.
Slime, yeah, mud, yeah, you know, like foam.
Foam I'm okay on, to be honest with you.
But like, I want to eat it.
I want to punch styrofoam.
Oh, do you remember?
So, you know, obviously, you know, like stucco siding on like houses or something.
When it first, like, became popular in like the early to mid 2000s, there was a shopping mall by us that, like a strip mall that had just like completely redone their.
siding and behind it they put fresh beautiful stucco and if you drive by we would at night go there
with baseball bats and our friends and literally just like we were fucking tyson and ali just going
off on these stucco things swinging bats at it if you are in Astoria and you drive down 43rd
street between 23rd avenue and 24th and dimars boulevard check on the back
side of that building. That's all us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a piece of history. Maybe we should go
with a knife and take it. Take what? The wall. What are you talking about? It's like, as I remember
it. Yeah, like that. That's a rememberer. Yeah, dude, when that T-Rex steps in that mud,
and when the, when the kid's in the car and it starts sinking and the mud is going up around him.
I don't hate that. Also, like, you're going to think I'm making this up, but like, so a T-Rex,
The T-Rex steps, right?
And then it makes that-
It's four.
It's four.
It's three in the front, one in the back.
Okay.
Like that.
That's very good.
So after he walks away, it's like a pretty deep hole.
And there's some water in it?
I'm like, oh, get in there.
I kind of want to get in this dinosaur foot pool.
I just love it so much.
I don't know why.
What the fuck is that?
I want it.
Like when he, when Dr.
Alan Grant has the dinosaur sneeze in his face, I'm just like, yeah.
No, no, no.
No, no.
But a butt, but, but
When
The woman, what's her name?
Ellie Sattler
Her name in the movie
Fucking.
Ellie Sattler
Oh, that's her name in the movie?
Played by Laura Lennie?
Oh yeah, yes, yes.
Is it Laura Lennie?
Hold on.
No, that ain't it.
That ain't it.
Oh, I mean,
Laura Dern, my bad.
Sorry, Miss Dern, I know you're watching.
She ain't.
But when she's got her hand in the shit.
Oh, yeah, and it like crumbled poop around her?
Yeah, and it's like,
She's like, oh, this one's sick.
I'm like, that's, it is sick.
What you're doing, it's sick, dude.
Dude, no, when they're fucking enjoying the dessert,
and she's holding the green yellow.
Jell-O.
I wanted green jello.
Anytime I swear to God, you will think I'm lying.
Anytime I've had jello since I've seen that movie,
I shake it.
I shake it in my spoon.
Or I'll have a cup of water and I'll just go.
Yes.
Just so I could see the ripples.
Oh, my God.
I'm glad they were living the same exact life here.
Yes, well, you know, that's what happened.
And I'm sure everyone can relate to this.
that because like we all like these types of things right there's listen like there are certain things
of like iconic movies that just kind of like spruces it up a little bit yeah like when you hear like
for instance i don't know when the last time you saw the mask was the jim carrie yeah yeah but at the
beginning in the movie the guy like uses a crowbar to open like a chest and there's like pebbles
around it and the sound of him moving the like river rocks out of the way is like i swear to god i could
fucking come to it.
Bro.
I know an exact scene
where you're gonna love this.
Okay. Jumanji.
Yes.
One, when he
pulls it out of like the dirt or whatever,
then he like kind of...
Oh, oh, oh!
But no, the other one, so like in...
But the one where he picks it up
and there's a bunch of dust
and he just tilts it and it all falls off
and it reveals it.
I'm like...
That was the nicest thing.
But also like, when the kid gets like punched,
when little Alan Parrish and he like goes like this to his...
his lip and there's blood.
Yeah.
Oh.
No.
I do agree.
You know what I'm talking about?
Why do we like this shit?
Bro, like just the weirdest things as a kid like kind of turned me on a little bit now that I'm
thinking about them.
Yeah.
There was a movie.
I also liked when his hands were getting sucked into the fireplace.
And he's like, what's cool?
It's kind of cool.
Hold on.
Hold that.
Recently played Jumanji?
Fire.
Played it?
Yeah, the board game.
Oh.
Cool.
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I had one teed up.
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That's like, got you.
Yeah.
Third time's a charm.
Just like Joey's little dick.
Doesn't even make sense.
Frank's talking himself into it.
This is what happens when I'm unhinged.
Yeah.
If you just let me go, this is what's going to happen.
It sounds like you've had 400 milligrams of caffeine today.
I've had not enough.
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it out.
Wild.
Wild.
Dude, another one of those
movie things that I was thinking,
there was a movie that I don't know
if you've ever heard of,
let alone saw.
It was in the 90s.
It was McCauley Colkin.
Okay.
It was called the Pagemaster.
Bro, yeah.
Dude?
I love the Pageman.
I had on the H.S.
I, oh!
I like try to show it to Miles.
He was like, it's all right.
It was like,
fucking don't, though.
Yeah.
But the scene where he's in the library
and the paint.
comes around the corner and it's going for him and he's in the middle.
And it makes like everything cartoon, right?
Oh, dude, I love that.
God.
Guys, you haven't seen it?
It's, honestly, it's okay.
But it was way cooler when we were kids.
I haven't seen it a very long time since I was a children.
But it definitely is cool.
It's like him.
Wopi Goldberg plays like one of the books.
Really?
Yeah.
I remember that movie.
I remember it being like really good.
And also he gets like struck by lightning or something.
Yeah.
Well, no, it's like a storm.
Yeah.
And he slips and hits his head and imagines the whole.
thing.
Got it.
Because there's like, and like the paint dripping from the ceiling.
Guys, it's really good.
It gets on his jacket.
Go see it.
Oh yeah.
Go see it.
Go see it.
Go see it.
The paint gets on his jacket and then it starts turning into a cartoon.
Oh, like you can rent you can rent it for like two or three bucks on Amazon.
I might watch that.
I might force my nephew to watch it.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Definitely force him to watch it.
That was one of the movies that me and my siblings have like we watched all the time.
Anything that we had VHS, we just watch all the time.
Yeah, yeah.
Like constantly.
I'm right there with you.
do that like that uh i mean a ton a ton of harriet the spy
you know i've never seen that oh when they put their feet together i was like oh my god
i was kind of i was kind of a little foot fetish just watch it just watch wait who puts their
foot together watch it brother watch fucking harriet the spy but harriet is putting her foot
against someone it was like a thing that they did is like you know like their like they're
like secret cool thing like they putting their feet together like one person would paint their feet
and then they put it with the other one just go watch just go i'm not gonna say more
You can't just say stuff like this.
I can absolutely say stuff and not follow up with it.
I can absolutely do that.
Painted feet.
So the Pope is cool with jerking off.
What?
The Pope?
We didn't even get to that, didn't it.
Yeah, we didn't.
But you were saying that a little bit before the show, but I don't really even really know.
So the Pope had gave a sermon.
And it was like as a result of like one of his like head guys, his head cardinals being like, he wrote a book about like fucking and sucking.
Apparently.
This is quite the paraphrase job you're doing.
Yeah, whatever.
I don't care.
What's the Pope's name?
Do you know?
Francis.
You can't all be named Francis.
No, he's Frankie.
This guy's name is Jorge.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
The Pope's name is Jorge Mario Burgoglio.
Nah, what's his Pope name though?
What's his stage name?
Yeah, there it is.
That's it.
That's what I'm saying.
His stripper name is Pope.
They're like, you know, Jorge doesn't work.
It doesn't appeal.
You can't be Pope, Jorge.
Yeah, it doesn't appeal.
I mean, you could, though.
What was John?
You, Pope?
What was John Paul's real name?
I don't know, but this is like crazy to me
Imagine it was like Ringo George
But like Jorge Mario Bergoglio
And he's Pope Francis
That's kind of fake
That was my uncle's like first and middle name too
Jorge Mario
Horre Mario
List of popes
Bro, they all got the same fucking name
Like this is ridiculous
Well I think they choose like when they get confirmed
Like you know how like when you were confirmed
You became like
You know like
I don't know
What was your Pope name?
My confirmation name was Nicholas.
Okay.
Yeah, you could be like Nicholas John or like Nicholas Luke.
Damn, I'm saying if we have a Pope Luke, that guy's going to be out there just like fucking
Hot as, we need a hot Pope.
Enough with these old bastards.
Yeah, like a George Clooney age.
Some salt and pepper.
If fucking, if the Pope walks out and it's John Hamm, you're not going to convert immediately.
Yeah, dude.
They got to, listen, they know what they're doing with the names and the titles.
Like they're like Archdiocese.
The last one's name was.
Joseph Ratzinger.
Yeah, there was some...
Yeah, I'm sure that it was, bro.
There was some stuff there.
This guy's name, the other John Paul, his name was Carol.
Carol!
They need good stage names.
Albino Luciani.
That's the most fire fucking name ever, and you changed it to fucking John Paul the first.
No one wants to hear from Thomas Maypother.
They want to hear from Tom Cruise.
You know what I'm saying?
Is that his name?
Yeah, Maypother.
That sucks.
Albino Luciani.
Oh, that sounds like a...
It's a bitman for the mafia.
You're going to, well, there's some, there's some stuff there too.
I mean, you know.
Holy shit, this guy's got the longest name ever.
This is St. Paul the 6th.
Who's the saint?
Wait, there are saints down shit?
I, I don't know.
But it says Giovanni Battista Enrico Antonio Maria Motini.
That's his whole name.
That's like, that's a whole, that's a whole.
That's a whole.
I'm going to say that's a menu.
Let me get the Giovanni Battista and Rico Antonio Maria Mortini.
That's kind of fire.
That sounds like a martini.
Yeah, but he apparently, one of his cardinals gave us, like wrote a book about like sexual, like sensuality and shit.
And people are like, oh, it's perverted.
And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's just like, listen, guys, it's a gift from God that you can come.
Yeah.
And he's saying, he didn't say it like that, exactly.
But like, does this now confirm the longstanding question that we've all had?
Does the Pope jerk off?
He has to.
Right?
He has to.
But I think he said it like.
I think in the article it said, like, you need to practice, like, patience and something like that.
So, like, is also now next question is the Pope edging.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is that?
Edging?
I mean, no, I know what it is, but like, I, like.
Oh, you know what that is.
Yeah.
Fucking edge lord boy over here.
I'm not edge lord boy.
What the fuck are you saying?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you know that the popes have mottos, by the way?
Because I'm on Wikipedia right now.
I was like looking at the names, but they have mottos.
They better be sick.
better be like for once for Christ for all or something like that like I don't want to hear like
you know the light of the Lord like I want to hear some like dope shit well it's not it's weird that
they all have like if I can if you can tell it to me and I couldn't be able to tell you if it was
like a DMX song or if it was the saying for the Pope that's cool the current Pope his is it's
it's in Latin and then it's translated to English so it's Miserando oh never mind you know what I'm
not going to say these words were you offending the
It's, Joey, they're dead.
It's a dead language.
You're fine.
It's ATQUE.
How would you even...
ATQUE.
A-T-Q-U-E-A-T-Q-E-A-T-E-E-A-K-W-E.
I guess.
And then, Elegendo.
It means lowly but chosen.
Kind of fire.
Definitely sounds like it could be a DMX song.
Yeah, I guess.
What were the other ones?
This one is Totas-Tus, which is totally yours.
That is, sounds like...
Total yours?
Totally yours
Kind of cute
This one is
Oh this is Giovanni Batisse
Enrigo Antonio Maria
Maltini
He said
Come
Spell like come
But come like
Whoso
Spelled like which one
Come
CUM
That's Coom
Come to me
Coom
Like cum laude
Yeah
So it says
Come Ipso in Monte
Which means
Damn you're coming in Monte
Dogg
With him on the mount
Mount
Mount
What are you doing?
Like mountain.
Like on the pinnacle of love.
Like Mount Olympus, Mount Everest.
I guess.
With him on the mount?
Yeah.
Damn, that could be considered like a little questionable though.
People have some interesting ones.
The peace of Christ in the kingdom of Christ.
That feels like.
That's too on the nose.
That seems too on the nose.
It needs to be something that like if a like I'm telling you,
if like a hip hop artist or a rapper used it would sound sick.
Benedict, this one's from 1914.
In thee, oh Lord, have I trusted,
let me not be confounded forevermore.
I don't know what that means, but evermore is a cool word.
That's too much of a motto, man.
Too mouthy.
Too mouthy, too mouthy.
Don't you.
Shorten it up.
You know, come on.
What are you doing, popes?
That was back then, no.
They like long form content, but that's way too long.
That was 1914.
Do you think now there are a bunch of like people that like follow the Pope
that are just like, oh, he said it's good and like just like fucking cranky?
He did say, though, he advises it.
against pornography.
So you're a sinner.
You're a porn, Joe.
I haven't watched porn in a while.
Good for you, brother.
Yeah.
Brother?
I,
what are we talking about?
The Pope.
So what did he say that, like,
it's okay to yank your crank?
Well, now you need me to pull up the exact,
like what he said from the sermon.
Yeah.
But, you know,
why would this come up?
Again, so,
uh,
Continuing a streak of unusually cool stuff,
the Pope decided to let the world know
that he believes sexual pleasure is a gift from God.
Say that.
How does he know, though?
He's never had sex.
But I'm sure he's just like, you know,
like window shopping a little bit.
Like, he's like, yo, hit that up.
That should be sick, brother.
Do you think any of the Pope's friends?
Get that.
Do you think any of the Pope's friends
are ever like, yo, you fucking virgin?
Oh, that.
A hundred percent.
Like, if I was boys with the Pope, I'd be texting.
I'm like, yo, you don't even know what vagina is.
Just like, dude, yeah, life is tough.
Just fucking go out there and feel a titty.
Yeah.
You know?
Wait.
I guess that, you know, I don't mean to speak ill of ill papa, but like, you think he's
ever even like seen.
They got nude.
They've got nude pictures all over the place.
Yeah.
There's like statues and stuff.
Yeah.
He's probably seen more statues tits than like actual women's tits.
He was quick to follow up with recommendation that it, that self pleasure be, quote,
disciplined with patience.
Yeah, that's edging.
That's edging.
That's edging 100%, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's just like, go for it.
But.
stop.
Yeah, like, but don't, but like make it last all night.
In the same Vatican address, part of the series of sermons on vices and virtues,
Pope Francis warned against pornography, which he said leads to satisfaction without relationship
and could also result in addiction.
He's not wrong.
I mean, yeah.
There is porn addiction.
A thousand percent.
There's also sex addiction, though.
Yeah, but I think it's like, wait, is he saying without relationship?
So, like, if you just pretend you're in a relationship with the porn that you're watching.
If you make your own porn and then watch it.
that porn is that porn mm that's a great question that is a great question
honestly or is it just a love making memory it's like a family video what would
you do no okay all right I already know you're gonna say no not because it's funny
because we were just watching our home videos the other day oh and like so like
imagine it's just like cut and it's like my like back then cameras were so big
like you wouldn't be able to like you know get that get that working I mean
you could set it up
It's too big, though.
That's a lot, man.
My mom's, I vividly remember my mother's video camera.
Same.
It was massive.
And it came in like a gun case.
Like, it looked like a sniper rifle.
Yeah, I remember it too, honestly.
And you had to pull it out and put it on your fucking shit.
It had a pad to put on your shoulder.
That's how big it was.
Yeah, those things were quite big.
And you put a whole like VHS tape in it.
Yeah.
And it's just like, oh, it's done.
Let me put a, it's like loading a fucking rifle.
It's like,
it's like,
it's like,
There you go, folks.
You don't have a future in that.
I will say.
What's that job?
Were they like...
Beatboxing.
No, you fucking.
I know...
Beboxing isn't a job.
I know.
Of course it's a job.
You don't think people get paid to beatbox?
Who?
Beat boxers.
But where do they box?
Biz Marquis.
He's a rapper.
He's also a dead.
Yeah, he is.
He was.
Newly, freshly.
No.
Not that fresh.
Like two years, three years, right?
That's pretty fresh.
Look it up.
Hey, Siri.
I don't have that.
No, you don't.
I opt out of Siri on all of my shit.
Really?
I don't know why.
Watch this.
Anyone watching?
Hey, Siri.
When did Bismarkey die?
Let's see if it works.
Let's see if anyone's house?
If it's someone's house.
Alexa, look up Biz Marquis autopsy photos.
Oh, don't.
What?
I don't know.
Okay, well, I have more ads here that I have to get to.
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That was very sweet.
You're very good.
Yeah.
You're so good.
Okay.
What is that, by the way?
What is that, by the way?
It's a lobster
It's a crab
It's the Jersey Shore Blue Claws
The Minor League affiliate for the Philadelphia Phillies
That's a cool logo
Yeah
And it's their old one too
Is it a crab?
Yeah it's a blue claw crab
Yeah have you never seen
Oh I saw a video of a blue crab ones
Yeah they're called blue claws
And they're blue right?
They're blue
That's crazy
And you cook them and they're not
They're white
But then you cook
But raw
I had you ever
Are you ever?
crap you're crap i love crab yeah that's my favorite king crab yeah yeah yeah you love eating
i'm a whore for crap you are a dude i will if that piece of horr bring it in i'm fucking
dogging it dumping it in fucking uh butter and then just yeah you know you should do that
you want to know something for new years i looked at getting because you know we were small it was just
myself, you know, the kids, Becca and my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, my in-laws.
And I was like, oh, like, maybe I'll just get, like, you know, a couple pounds of king crab to
have, like, a fish spread, you know?
Bro?
800 books.
They go, oh, we can only sell it in boxes of 10 pounds.
So I'm thinking, I'm like, all right, if this guy, and he goes, I can give you a deal on it.
Because, like, normal king crab was, like, $40 a pound.
and he's like, it will be a couple extra bucks
for the colossal, which is what I wanted.
He's like, but nothing crazy.
And they only do 10 pound boxes.
So I'm like, all right, see if he can make me.
You know, again, Tony Soprano came out.
I was like, you know, see if he can make me a deal.
Give me a deal.
You know, and he goes, yeah, it's $60 a pound.
I was like, that's a couple.
That's a couple dollars extra.
And he's like, yeah, I wasn't able to.
And he's like, and you'd have to get a 10 pound box.
I was like, 600 bucks.
No thanks, dude.
Dude, 10 pounds of crap.
Who the fuck?
fuck is eating that.
Bro, I got it for like a party of like 20 people once and we did, we had a lot left over.
10 pounds?
Yes.
We, years ago when it was like $25 a pound, we got it for like a party when Becca's brother came from Oregon.
And we were like, you know what, fuck it.
It's a party.
Like let's go for it.
10 pounds, we couldn't, we like 12 adults couldn't finish the whole thing and like several children.
I mean, that's a lot of fucking crab.
But I'm a big meat guy.
Like, I can eat a lot, you know?
Yeah.
I'm hungry right now.
Damn, I'm getting hungry talking about this shit.
I would love to have some crab right now.
I had some crab last night.
I told you that.
Yeah, Jonah crab.
Oh, the Jonah crab, yeah, yeah.
But I would do that.
You know what I want to do?
I want to go to, like, the South and go to, like, a shit where they just put, like, everything on the table.
And you just throw the shit in the middle, like, that type of shit.
Oh, yeah.
But I have to figure out if I'm allergic to crawfish or not.
Well, yeah, you're, you can't have shrimp.
Well, I don't even, like, I got to test that.
I wish I can like...
You have on several occasions and you get itchy.
I had once.
You've only had shrimp once?
Yeah.
Did you get itchy?
I think.
What do you mean you think?
Did you get itchy or did you not get itchy?
I don't know.
I was like, I was already nervous about eating it.
So I was like, this is really before I like really branched down to eating foods.
Like now I remember, we'd go to Miami and Jo would be like, um, can I get, uh, chicken
tenders?
Please.
And I'm like getting a paella.
Yeah.
Remember when you guys got that paella?
And the guy was like, oh, that's.
That's $150.
And you're like, what?
Yeah, the guy goes like, we have a deal.
You can get two drinks for free if you get this paella.
And it's like a super great deal today.
And Eric and I were both like, yeah, that can't be that bad.
Like, what was it going to be like 70 bucks?
You know, double.
Yeah.
Double and then some.
That was fun.
But, yeah, I mean, as far as like eating 10 pounds of crab, that's something.
Go home.
I'd be interested in.
Tonight and have a little baby get like, get some sushi, get some scoosh.
scoosh it up
and get a shrimp tempera roll
I just like can't
I'm just afraid of like
okay now I'm itchy
now what do I do
Benadryl
yeah
but then like
why am I going to sign myself
to look at
to figure out if you can eat it
is shrimp even worth it
yeah
a big old fat cold
shrimp cocktail
and you fucking let it
swim in some cocktail sauce
cocktail sauce is great
oh yeah
do it
you might as well
what do you got to lose
where do you rank shrimp
on the scale of shit.
Well, I need to know what's on the board.
Fucking fish stuff.
All fish?
Yeah.
All right.
Seafood.
That's when I buy fish stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Crabs at the top for me.
Crab is number one.
Especially king crab.
But like these little baby crab, like snow crabs,
get that the fuck away from me.
Have you ever had, what's that called?
Soft shell crab where you just eat the crab?
Yes.
I've done that.
I like it.
I like biting into a crab.
It makes you feel like a sharky.
Yes.
Oh my God.
I feel like such a like a fucking.
Because you're eating shell.
It's like not a,
Yeah, it's all right.
Don't worry about it.
It's good.
There's got to be something.
I think I once took like a supplement for like my stomach and it was like ground up crab.
Like shell, yeah.
Weird, right, right, right.
Crab is number one.
Tuna steak?
I'm going to get.
He's like steak.
I'm going to get a Tuna guy.
He'll give us like, I got a tuna guy.
Where'd you find a tuna guy?
I'm not going to explain who he is.
Oh, he's an underground tuna guy.
He said, no, no, no, he's a, above ground?
Well, technically, I got to be careful.
Oh, he's on the sea.
I got to be careful.
He got to be careful.
Wait, how do you be careful? It's tuna.
No, there's like laws and stuff about like giving away tuna.
Like he gives it to us.
He can't legally sell it.
Oh, he's an illegal to sell it.
Oh, he's an illegal to- Kind of a little bit, maybe.
Okay.
Something like, uh, prohibition tuna.
Bro?
Yeah.
We'll bring us like 20 pounds of fresh, like cut like 10 seconds ago.
20 pounds.
How do you guys shop over there?
Pounds?
10 pounds of crab, 20 pounds of tuna.
Where are you putting this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We cook a lot of it.
We'll cut some up.
We'll make some little like tuna bites for like the kids.
You know, bread them and...
Oh, dude.
You make a little like sashimi or something?
I got a tuna guy.
Miles makes tuna rolls.
He makes sushi.
Yeah, he could do it all.
Damn, dude, you got seaweed in that house?
Sometimes.
I like seaweed.
Isn't that how you mean?
Cips?
No, I meant like for rolling.
We have in the past.
We don't like keep it on hand all the time.
I was asking, I don't know.
Yeah, so...
But where do you put 10, put 20 pounds of tuna?
Eat some of it.
You put some in the freezer.
You know, you give some away.
Oh.
You know?
You want them.
A fat tuna.
You want a fat?
Because making a tuna steak.
Well, he brings it to us like this and this.
Like he brings the...
How much is that 20 pounds, tuna, bro?
Bread.
It's the thick meat.
How much is it?
Oh, tuna is like $35, $40 a pound?
He gives you 20 pounds of that?
He gives us a lot.
That's a lot of fucking tuna.
It gives a lot tuna.
That's too much tuna.
It is a little bit.
We told him, one summer he brought us like several fish at once.
He was like, by the way, I got tuna, I got mahi, I got squid.
This guy's like a drug dealer, but with fish.
Well, I guess so.
That's crazy.
Food, food, man.
You know?
Why are you just saying food?
Yeah, you know.
Yeah.
He came home one day and he gave us a bucket of crab, blue shell crab.
Ooh.
Blue claw crab.
Oh, they're just blue crabs in it?
And they're just living in, they're alive.
I would be high.
I would probably try to make one a pet, to be honest.
What do crabs eat?
Other animals, I think.
So I got to, like, feed them fish?
Yeah, you got to feed them, like, goldfish and stuff.
Do people domesticate crabs?
I'm sure you can.
Why not?
I mean, I mean, I mean, you could.
domesticate anything technically.
Like an emotional support lobster or something?
Yeah.
Lobsters are cool.
Lobsters are mad, cool.
But honestly, not my top five of seafood.
If it's a bisque,
Opa.
Opa.
But not like cooked.
Like these people that are just like,
they bring out like a whole fucking tuna.
And it's just like,
and they're like, I'm not a tuna.
A lobster?
And they're just like, oh, this is a delicacy.
No, not for me.
I like, I'd rather it be a part of the lobster's body.
That to me is better than like just eating, although I did have a lobster tail and it was ridiculous.
Fat?
Yeah.
And they like covered it in butter obviously.
Yeah, but like honestly, I would prefer crab over lobster any fucking day.
Easily.
By the way, again, several things we wanted to talk about today.
Not getting to that.
We literally got to.
Yeah.
One of them.
It happens.
What are you going to do?
It happens.
That's the basement yard.
Yeah.
That's what you signed up for.
We have a show in two days, so we're warming up right now.
Oh, yeah, we got it.
We got it kind of works.
Maybe we could bring some of these to the show or something.
Maybe.
Probably not.
Read my computer, guys.
Can I?
What is that?
This just says,
why is Greg naked on your computer?
Look at your stupid face when you said that.
Your little, like, Popeye laugh.
By the time they see this, it'll be over.
But, like, New Haven, we're coming for you.
Yeah, we are.
We're coming.
Yeah.
It's going to be a good time.
A lot of our friends are going to be there.
You announce when you're finishing?
Announce.
Like, oh, I'm going to.
Oh, yeah.
It's a courtesy warning.
My lady, you know, just like, be prepared.
I am going to arrive.
Any second now.
God, I love this show.
Do you not?
God, I love it.
You don't.
You just like, it's a shock and kick the door it?
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
That's between myself and my wife.
I mean, you're asking.
Me.
That's what they, well, yeah, you answered.
So who's the joke?
He just called me a joke.
Son of a bench.
Listen, folks.
Also, give me your top three of the seafoods real quick.
Oh, oh, crab.
Crap.
Tuna.
Salmon's up there.
I love salmon, dude.
I like, you're gonna have, I'll raw dog it.
I'll fucking cook raw dog it.
Like, I'll.
There's a guy on TikTok.
I believe his account is the sushi guy.
Now I got to get sushi tonight, by the way.
But yeah, yeah, I'm probably going to do it.
too but there's a guy I think his name is a sushi guy and he has like such a calming voice and he's like
today we're gonna go to Costco and we're gonna try sushi and he like goes and he's like we're
gonna give it the smell test and then like smells it yeah yeah and then he like cuts it up and he makes
like I don't know how to say all the words but there's like different ways of eating like
tuna like sometimes he just makes like a sushi roll out of it that some other shit then he just
eats like a piece raw um and like sometimes he cooks them or whatever but sometimes he like
gets tuna from Costco and he's like this is great too
I'm not salmon
I'm not salmon
great food yeah
dude salmon
oh my god
raw salmon
it's like butter
legitimately like butter
let me
before we end
on the show
say like you are like
super pumped
first like some fucking tuna
and then it comes out
on like
boobies and stuff
what
you never seen that in movies
where it'll be like
oh like a
naked Japanese
yeah and it's like
a naked person
on a table
and there's like a fucking
salmon roll on her
ding dong
there's fucking you know
like tuna rolls
on her nipples
yeah
kind of don't want that
I mean, I would eat a tuna roll off a nipple quicker than I would eat a...
A nipple I know.
Yeah.
I'm not a fucking random nipple coming in.
I don't want that.
You don't know where that nipple been.
Well, if I'm eating off of a naked Japanese woman, I'm assuming at him...
It could not be Japanese woman.
It could be a right...
It's a Japanese food.
It can be an American woman, any race.
Whatever.
Whoever it is, I'm picturing Japanese in my fantasy, all right?
Not that it's a fantasy.
I'm just saying, hold on.
Wait, whoa, whoa, we're discovering something here.
My thoughts, I mean.
But, you know, I'm assuming.
assuming I'm at some like Illuminati meeting where I can't go, I'm good. I don't, that doesn't
sound appealing to me in the slightest. Yeah, I don't want to eat my food off of a body either.
Dude, like, I'm, bro, if Becca comes out and she's like, here are the nipples, I'm all about it.
But she's like, here on my top of my nipples. I'm like, can we just do two separate things?
Wait, I don't understand what you just said. Like, if she's like, I have, you want sushi, here's sushi on my nipples.
Okay. I'd be like, you can, you can do it separate dishes, you know? I like to, I like to, when I get a plate
of food, I like to make my food not touch.
Okay.
You know, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I think that's everybody.
Damn, I'm talking about the mother of my children's nipples here.
They're nipples.
It's all right.
They're nipples.
Wait, did you say that?
Oh, so if she did that, you'd be like, don't.
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, next time we can just get sushi.
Well, she was trying to have fun.
I know, and I'm about fun.
Clearly not.
Don't.
She was trying to have fun, and you were just like, oh.
I'm all about fun.
I'm all about fun.
I'm a fun guy.
I'm 100% fun.
What?
I'm coming from Mr.
Fun.
You're not fun.
You're not fun, you bitch.
You're not fun.
You don't have 30 pounds of seafood in your free cereal.
You're not fun, dude.
All right.
Well, let's get out of here.
We have a show to do.
We have to get on the road tomorrow.
Frank, where can they find you?
At all right,
on Twitter on the week, Frank Albury is another little forum and social media.
Go check out the Patreon.
Patreon.
Patreon.
TikTok and Instagram.
Go follow me at Joe Sanigado.
Go hit that Patreon.
Patreon.com slash the Basement Yard.
We are currently ranked the 12th biggest Patreon on the entire site.
And eight for podcasts.
And eight for podcasts.
Insane.
And it's still going up.
We appreciate you guys so much.
It's fucking crazy.
But thank you guys so much.
And if you're, I mean, I guess this is coming out afterwards.
But see you in New Haven.
Also, we'll see you in Medford, Massachusetts.
Also, maybe we'll see you if we announce more shows.
Yeah.
I mean, we are going to announce more shows.
So we'll see you out there.
All right.
Thank you guys so much for the support.
We love you guys.
Thank you so much.
See you next time.
