The Basement Yard - #436 - The Pope Said It's Okay!

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

If the Pope says it's okay, then it must be fine....right? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the base me yad people. It's me. Joe, I love cock. Don't. You do. No, technically. Kind of technically.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Hey, Hey, folks, welcome back to this. Oh, Josh, by the way, the editing for that, we're going to show me. Yeah, yeah. Well, he gets it. He's been doing this for a while. He gets it.
Starting point is 00:00:29 But, yeah, last night I did eat dick. Well, first, at a restaurant. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, Josh, you know where to edit that, too. All right? Last night, I did eat dick. Pizzle, it said. It said, Pizzle and testicles.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Better, but... It was a soup. Welcome back, weekly episode, doing it live, large in public, backwards hat, white t-shirt, you okay? Oh, you wanted to show off his tattoos. Fun fact, the other day, someone asked us about Roman numerals, and he goes, as if I don't know. Take it easy, brother.
Starting point is 00:01:04 I also pointed to the wrong on. you also did point to the wrong arm. It happens. So wait, we're jumping in hot, heavy. You're going fucking feet first. Yeah. Head first, feet first. What do you head first?
Starting point is 00:01:16 But when you do a pencil dive, you dive, you go feet first. Who does that besides children? And people who are jumping off of tall cliffs. What's that tallest cliff you've jumped off of? Not that high. I'm scared. At the lakehouse, though, they had two rocks. You remember those rocks on the other side of the...
Starting point is 00:01:32 Oh, the suicide rock? One was called suicide rock. Multiple people have died? Yeah. One was called Chair Rock. You can't jump off them anymore. There was like one summer where like six people died. And they were like, all right.
Starting point is 00:01:45 We're no more. I'll give you five. Chair Rock, I never jumped off Suicide Rock. I jumped off Chair Rock. And that was maybe like 12 feet. Nothing crazy. That's not. But Suicide Rock was like, I was up there, dude.
Starting point is 00:01:59 And the thing about Suicide Rock is like, it went up and curled like that. And you stood up here. So you had to run. So you had to like run down and jump off. Yeah. And that's what people would happen is like, because the rock underneath, they'd hit the rock underneath and they wouldn't, they wouldn't come back up. It was a suicide mission.
Starting point is 00:02:15 I ever tell you, there was one time where like my dad would bring us on the boat and he'd dock the boat. Not docked the boat. He'd anchor the boat. And we'd get out, we'd swim around, blah, blah, blah. And the cops come over and they're like, hey, listen, we need you to pull the anchor and leave this area. Right. I was like, why? He's like, someone went under and.
Starting point is 00:02:34 we don't know where they are. Ew, you were swimming under a dead body, on top of a dead body. Yeah. Ew. We moved a boat and we looked and we watched
Starting point is 00:02:43 them pull someone out right where we were. Right fucking where we were. No, no, no. I swear to God. I could never swim on top of the dead body. I can't, listen, I feel bad. Yo, why are dead bodies so disgusting?
Starting point is 00:02:53 I just, some of them are kind of cool, but like, what? Which whose? Like, the way that you die. A dead body's cool? Like, the way you die could make it cooler.
Starting point is 00:03:02 But like when people drown, They get like white. And they get blown up. And they get, well, that happens all the time because. Is that true? Yeah, the gases in your body are leaving. So like that happens, period. I have a friend that's an undertaker.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Wait, I thought you fill up. What are you filling up with? I'm not friends with the undertaker. I don't know if I'm a lot. Is this term like still like politically correct now? Undertaker? She's like an undertaker or like a mortician. Yeah, a martian.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Whatever it is. But she like, she's cool with dead bodies. She like daps them up all the time. Every day. She puts makeup on them. For her day, every like, anytime I talk, I'm like, any big cocks. And she's like... That's the first thing you ask?
Starting point is 00:03:37 Any big dead cock? Well, you know, if you have a good looking dead dick... I can only imagine... Imagine what that... Imagine if the shit had the sun hitting it. Yeah, imagine. Yeah. It had some fucking, yeah, some good old vitamin D.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Yeah. But she would say, yeah, all that stuff. And I remember learning about it during school. It's like all this stuff happens to your body after, like, rigor mortis. Yeah. Where, like, your hands, like, stay like this. Yeah. There's a lot of different things.
Starting point is 00:04:04 stuff yeah we were swimming on top of a dead body yeah ew that's so disgusting what did it look like white like white as like the wall I was gonna say the wall but that one's green yeah that one is very very white it's just why did you stick around what's wrong with your dad his children you know men of that generation they're like you gotta see you guys see you got see what happens way you die yeah and it's like you know oh don't need that dead bodies are so disgust have you ever seen a dead body not in like a funeral setting I don't know
Starting point is 00:04:38 Maybe Like I think that's something That would stick with you Well there was one time that I was driving And it wasn't a dead body But I drove by and I saw like a sheet Over a person in the street
Starting point is 00:04:50 And I popped a U-turned Like yo what the fuck And you went to go see the sheet No no no but I went to like You know what happened Nosey little bitch Yeah yeah But then you know what's funny
Starting point is 00:04:59 I made a U-turn And then I drive back And then I saw oh they're filming something And I was let down That someone didn't die You know what I mean? Like, I was kind of upset.
Starting point is 00:05:09 It's not a real dead body. I'm like, fuck, he's alive under there. I feel bad, yeah, I hear you. I feel bad because I'm definitely
Starting point is 00:05:16 the type of person in traffic where I'll be like, someone better be dead. And then I drive by and no one, I've never seen that happen, but like I'll be like, Dan,
Starting point is 00:05:24 that was kind of mean. Yeah, like, nice. Like, and people love looking at giant crashes of, ooh,
Starting point is 00:05:30 hope they're okay. Yeah, well, like, why is that a saying where people like, you can't look away, like it's a car crash.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Like definitely look away from a car crash I'm honest I can't look away Really? I have to see everything Like if I If a thing If someone told me like Oh there's a video of like
Starting point is 00:05:46 I saw one of those earlier Something happening I saw one of those earlier I don't want to talk about it too much But I saw one of it Looks like you're gonna bring it up though Yeah I said too much Okay
Starting point is 00:05:53 So I'm gonna I'm gonna once I say it We'll never talk about it again I'm gonna have questions It's It was like a tech CEO At like an event Oh and he fell And he was on like a wire thing
Starting point is 00:06:05 and it was going to come down. It was like a big like, you know, like, we're here, Silicon Valley. And it snapped and he fell and didn't make it, unfortunately. That's sad. Very sad stuff. But it's true. Why do we watch that? We're like freaks.
Starting point is 00:06:17 I don't know. We're sick. Bro, this is why, like, the internet wouldn't have been able to be around for like Harry Potter because isn't there that, like, thing, the festrals who can only see them if you've seen death? What are you saying right now? Everyone, the internet now. Where did Harry Potter come from? What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:06:31 I just, I'm thinking of, like, and Harry Potter, remember the thing for those of those you guys that don't know Harry Potter. There are like certain animals, mystical animals that you can only see if you've seen death. Remember? Destrels, I think they're called. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:44 And like now with the internet, we all see someone die in some capacity. I guess. You know, rotten.com, we'd be seeing, that testicles walking all over the place. We've brought that up so many times. There was a famous video that went viral.
Starting point is 00:06:55 You ever see it? Where the guy's like, he's like at like a press conference or something. And then why are we talking about this? Death. But then, but then he gets like an envelope and he just takes out a,
Starting point is 00:07:05 gun and shoots himself. No! I saw that when I was young. Oh. And it researched. That's sad. No? Funny reaction to what I'm saying. Oh. Well, I feel bad for your innocence. It was ripped from you and shut. I was rewinding it. I was fascinated by it. Really? But blood is just pouring out. Oh, no, no, no. All right. All right. Come on. The YouTube's dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big YouTube. I'm not, I'm not showing the video. I'm just saying. I'm sure people have seen it. They know what I'm talking about because it was like a very viral thing. That's not nice. That's not. not good. No, I wasn't. I didn't love it. I saw a tweet once and it was like
Starting point is 00:07:39 J.K. Rowling said that Harry Potter takes place during the 90s and that's the most unrealistic thing because at no point in time did any of the kids at Hogwarts just go, man, the bulls are on quite the run, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no. But you had, so you ate a dick. You ate a dick. I went to this place, I believe it's pronounced Knox. Oh, you're just giving them the free plug, huh? Yeah, I mean, it's a new restaurant. It's very,
Starting point is 00:08:05 good. It's a, it's Filipino food, and they had a soup that had a penis and balls in it. What kind of penis? I believe bull, but I don't know. Was that thing huge? No, it was all chopped up. Oh, they didn't even give the bull like you didn't, you couldn't even like sit there and revel at this bull's cock while you're eating it? Just like by the way, good for you. No, it wasn't shaped like a carrot or something. They just chopped it up. Yeah, it was like mixed up. Was it like chewy? Was it just like regular? I don't know which meat was which. I'm assuming they taste different.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Well, it was dick and balls, right? Yeah, it was all mixed up into the soup. Was there any, you couldn't make any distinction between either of them? I could, I knew that there was like two different types in there, but I didn't know which was which. One of them was a little more chewy than the other. That's got to be the dick. I was assuming that. It's got to be the dick because you can't, you can chew on a dick.
Starting point is 00:08:59 You can't chew on balls. Not with that attitude. But, like, think about it. It was mad good, though. Like, you know, like, those old, like, rubber, like, little, like, guys you'd put on your finger that, like, when we were kids, they'd always be in, like, goody bags. You could chew on them. I feel like that's what a dick would be. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:18 No? A dick's like a muscle, right? Is this muscally? Yeah. But isn't, like, steak, like, the muscle? Steak is muscle, yeah. So why would it be... I mean, I guess steak can be chewy if you don't, like...
Starting point is 00:09:30 Yeah, if you, like, if you eat raw steak, I can imagine. Yeah, it's true. It's very, very chewy. I've seen videos of these weird whites just eaten raw steak. Well, this fucking liver king guy He's out there and he's doing like... He's mixing.
Starting point is 00:09:43 I saw one and I had to turn away. And it's funny. I'll watch the people fucking dying painful deaths. I literally was going to say... But I'll be like, oh, raw chicken. No, no, no. I've watched a video of a guy
Starting point is 00:09:52 shooting himself in the mouth multiple times but watching the liver king eat like a liver as like gross. Dude, he put like, it was like heavy cream and just like several raw chicken breasts in a blender and blended it up and drank it and he's like this is a burst of this guy it's funny he's like listen i don't know the liver king i know that there was some stuff that came
Starting point is 00:10:14 out that he actually did use some you know i mean he admitted it he was doing fucking stuff yeah yeah but like he doesn't look healthy right like he doesn't look so red he looks like he looks like he sneezes so much and holds it all in you know what i'm saying like this guy he looks like he's been farting inside of himself for 10 years and it's just going out like yeah He's not gaining muscle. He's just getting more air in his butt. Yeah. But he is strong, but also there's a lot of air in you.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Yeah. Well, apparently that could have been the, you know, anabolic steroids that he was maybe ingesting. It could have. And he looks always sunburn. Yeah, he doesn't look like healthy. He looks like, you know that one kid everyone knew in high school that never did Coke, but looked like they did all of the Coke?
Starting point is 00:10:56 We didn't have a kid like that in my school. Oh, that's right. Because in your school, they all admitted doing Coke. Joey went to fucking, preppy Catholic school where if they weren't doing drugs they were fucking blowing lines off the pastor's wing wangs Jesus
Starting point is 00:11:11 maybe that's what you were eating No I would not What would you do honestly? Yeah Honestly honestly honestly Yeah If tomorrow This restaurant gets shut down
Starting point is 00:11:20 Because it was like And it's like by the way It was It was person pizzle It wasn't like fucking Um I don't know that that would have a huge effect on me You wouldn't be like
Starting point is 00:11:31 You wouldn't have a moment of like I would have a moment of like I would have a moment of like I would have a person person. moment of being like, ew, you just made me a cannibal. But then I've also already been on record saying it was delicious. So like, those Filipinos, they really know how to spice up a human dick. Yeah. Well, I guess so. Yeah. But all the food, literally every single dish we had at this place was good. What was the suit? Was it like a like a, like a, like a, like a, like a bisque soup or like it was like a, I don't know what a biscuit is. Like a, bisque is like a chowder. It's like cream based kind of. No, it was like it felt like a broth.
Starting point is 00:12:03 thing. Sounds really good. No, it was very good. I had a fat lobster bisque last night. Did you? I've never had lobster bisque, but I would like one. I mean, you need good lobster bisque. You can't get like dog shit lobster bisque.
Starting point is 00:12:16 What do you think I'm going to like a fucking drive-thru at Wendy's? I don't know. I don't know. You know, but they were like, do you want a half portion or a whole portion? I was like, oh, half. Half. Because I was also getting a big old fat steak. Oh.
Starting point is 00:12:31 You're big on the like full meal? But I want a French onion soup or some sort of soup. Yes. So here's what. You're like a pre-dinner soup. Becca and I went out to dinner with friends and it was we got fucking, we got octopus. Let me tell you. It was like a spicy.
Starting point is 00:12:48 It was pulpo like a spicy. You know, don't ask me the name of it. Got it ain't they? Some really good fucking gada mod. Gallomad. Yeah. Hey, um, one gadamad, please. Do you say galamad?
Starting point is 00:13:01 No, I say calomar. Okay. I'm not going to be like that. You know, but then half soup and then a fucking, like, 44 ounce dry age. 44. Porterhouse, dog. Did you all eat that? No, that was just for me and the other dude that was there.
Starting point is 00:13:16 We shared it. 44 is a ridiculous. Yeah, it was big. It was big. Did it come home with you or you fucking crushed it? No, I fucked that. I fucked that thing all night. Let me tell you, I fucking, that steak had stood no chance.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Did you wake up sweating? Honestly, a little bit. Yeah. dude. I mean, anytime I eat like a lot of steak, like when we went to Keynes, I went to, I went, I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like, I'm soaking wet. Bro, on the drive home that night after Keynes. By the way, if you guys don't know, New York, it's like a famous New York City steakhouse. But they're like, what do you want? 70 ounce mutton chops that are this thick and this big.
Starting point is 00:13:52 And it comes with two. On the drive home, I was like, I am going to throw up. Yeah, yeah. Not because I didn't feel all, but there was just so much meat in me. It just felt like the right thing to do. fucking packed with meat and I couldn't physically couldn't let not throw up packed with me but I held out I didn't throw up yeah but the fucking half portion was like this big I was like yeah what is a whole portion so he had a lot of lobster in there
Starting point is 00:14:17 there's some chunks there's some fucking fat chunks in there I love lobster oh there was like this Jonah crab that how's that it's a crab well why why does he got a cool name yeah that's why we just give things names Jonah crab Jonah crab Joshua tree. That's just a place. That's a bit I was actually like trying to work through. Working it out. But it came out like this, like in a crib.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Imagine you're a cool tree and someone just names you Joshua. It's a very biblical name. I know, but like that kind of sucks, right? Like name me something fucking sick, like Zach. It's not, I don't think there's trees named Joshua trees. It's just like a place. No, I think it's named the place is named Joshua tree because of the trees. I don't know that.
Starting point is 00:15:00 We're, you know what? We're not going to look it up. That's a species of tree? I think it's like a type of tree because there are trees that have like biblical meanings. Like the burning bush. No, I think that was like a physical thing that happened. Like it was a, well, no, burning bushes are they turn red in the fog. Isn't it funny to think about that in the Bible where it's like the burning bush and that Jesus reveals himself or God reveals himself.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Oh, I don't know. You're telling me here. No, no. So that's a thing. And like there was a burning bush. And it's like, oh, God is. That's how he's choosing to tell everyone he's back. But I was like, yo.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Because think about it, if you don't know anything about spontaneous combustion, and a tree just sets on fire, you're like, there's some magic afoot. But now we know about spontaneous combustion. Yeah. Wildfires are. Sometimes trees just explode. And wildfires are a naturally occurring thing in, you know, the environment. Even though it's not naturally occurring, there is a laser, a death laser in the sky,
Starting point is 00:15:52 and it's blowing it up, and it's burning all the trees. And all the rich people are buying up the land. Yeah, your Illuminati people are going to come get you. So, my dad's got me clued in on all this. No, but there's, there's like a thing. What is the fucking dogwood trees? I remember when for the first birthday, Becca's first birthday after Ruby was born, I got her a dogwood tree for the house.
Starting point is 00:16:14 And her father told. Is this going to be like a full tree or like an indoor tree? A full tree. Like it's planted outside. Oh. Yeah. What's that? In the backyard.
Starting point is 00:16:22 No, it's in the front. Oh. But Becca's dad was like, oh, that has a very biblical meaning. And I'm like, why? And he's like, apparently the wood of the cross was. made of dogwood trees. So that's why when dogwood trees, if you look at their bark, it's like, you know, like the ground in a bug's life?
Starting point is 00:16:39 You know what I'm talking about? I do. You know what exactly? It's all cracky. It's all cracky. That's what the bark looks like. And it's like because it's like weeping because it was used to like crucify Jesus. Oh, oh.
Starting point is 00:16:49 But it's probably just because the tree grows that way, right? Yeah, it probably made it. I don't want to, you know. Things happen. It's totally fine. Just the nature. It happens to be nature. Sometimes it does.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yes. So are you going back for more cock and balls? I would. Like, you got the taste of it now? Like, you got the... Oh, no, I don't have, like, a craving for dicks or balls. I'm just saying we had a soup. We all shared the soup.
Starting point is 00:17:10 It comes out in, like, a cauldron. And then she ladled it all out. Oh, smart. The presentation's a big part of it. If this thing just came out in a regular plate... The cocktails at this place, too, were, like... Are there any restaurant that do, like, they serve, like, vagina? Like, horse vagina or something?
Starting point is 00:17:29 That would be a big vagina Well, chop it up I've never seen a horse vagina And that's probably for the best But no, I haven't I've seen a horse's You've seen a horse's fucking how you do skis Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:17:43 I've definitely seen that But I've never seen where it goes Are there any, is there any place Where you can eat like animal vagina Why are you trying to I mean, it's interesting no Like there's the famous saying is like You know eat everything on the pig
Starting point is 00:17:56 Except for the squeal So like if it's a female pig are you eating, you know? I had some jowls yesterday, too. What's that? I think that's like your cheeks. Oh, like guanchale or something like that? Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:08 But like, it was like jowls and they were like barbecue and they were unbelievable. Pig cheek? I'll do it. We got two orders of those. Yeah? Yeah. Fuck, dude. It is weird that we're eating all these animals.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Yeah. Because like you see a pig and you're like, I like, I like pigs. Yeah, I can't. These people that go out there and make hunting their whole personality. By the way, stand up. Show them your pants. and by the way Joey is wearing camo pants he walked in I was like
Starting point is 00:18:33 elk or deer what are we going for today I think I've worn these before yeah they've always looked stupid I got it but like the people that make hunting their whole personality like they take a picture like holding the antlers of a dead deer like cool man your cock is tiny
Starting point is 00:18:47 I really would I think that hunting is kind of cool would you do it I probably would but I'd burst into tears but I would like I'm not against it at all. Like, what movie was that? Oh, forgetting Sarah Marshall. I'm sorry. I would never be able to do that. I would never be able to do that. Like dad would do that in Colombia. Like skinning an animal I can never do ill gross. Dude, my dad would when he would go to
Starting point is 00:19:11 Columbia when we were kids, he'd come back and he had he brought like a digital camera with him and he was like, yo look at he's like look at the pictures of Columbia. They were fucking so much fun. I was like, all right, cool. And he'd be like dad, why are you stabbing a pig? And he's like, oh, it's like a thing where like you stab a pig in the heart and you let it bleed and then you burn the hair off, like, just wild shit. The hair off. Yeah, it's fucking... I'm a stink.
Starting point is 00:19:33 You ever burn your hair by accident? It stinks. Yeah, but it's not that bad. It's, it's not, I've smelled way worse coming from my body. And it didn't require any burning. But it felt like burning. Yeah, no, I mean, I think I could, I could, you know, like a shooting a bar and arrow at something. But then you got to eat it.
Starting point is 00:19:54 You got to, like, you know, you do the whole circle of life thing. Bro, we watch alone. I wouldn't go hunting. thing just to hunt and like leave it dead. The show alone where like they're hunting and then they shoot just like a little squirrel. I'm like this is fucking I'll eat it. But like it's kind of sad. I'm pretty sure I've eaten squirrel by accident like not on purpose.
Starting point is 00:20:12 How do you stumble into a squirrel's fucking meat? There was a cousin of mine had gotten a cabin at the lake like 20 years ago. And there were a very eclectic Colombian group. And one of them was like a really great cook. and we went over one day and he was like have some soup and we're laughing about it he's like it's Sancocho and we're like
Starting point is 00:20:32 oh okay and I'm like what's the meat and he's like squirrel and we're like ha ha ha ha ha so he made squirrel soup probably yeah did he kill it in the backyard I assume you think what you think he just like
Starting point is 00:20:44 lured it into the fucking pot no I thought that he like brought the meat I don't think you could buy squirrel meat and you would like eat a New York City squirrel those things are fucking radioactive that's what I'm saying saying, I'd be scared.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Maybe that's why I got all these tummy aches. Because of the squirrel soup. Could be. Who knows? Not the Taco Bell. I like try any food for the most part. Oh, we're going to hold you to that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Bro. My new... I'm sorry. It's going to turn into a spire. He's like, yo. My new obsession is there's this couple on TikTok who their whole thing is just showing exotic tropical fruit. And he's like, he's like had,
Starting point is 00:21:26 like a fruit-only diet for like eight years. And he'll like pick up this thing that looks like dog shit. And he's like, this is the most delicious, delectable fruit I've ever. And it's like spider snake fruit. And like, there's just wild shit out there. I might get a box. Maybe we'll try it on a Patreon episode. Try a bunch of like weird fruits?
Starting point is 00:21:44 Yeah. Okay. Have you ever had dragon fruit? I've never had it. Yeah. I've had dragon fruit hundreds of times. How does it taste like? Honestly, the ones that I've had, nothing.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Really? Yeah. But I've, I've, I heard they make you a shit. There's like, yeah, the yellow ones, if you eat a whole one, it'll, like, clean you out. Yeah, you'll, like, turn you into water or something. We should try that. 30,000. The first one of shit loses.
Starting point is 00:22:07 30,000 patrons. It's like Edward Scissor Hands, but with, Edward 40 Hands, yeah. Edward Scissor Hands is a movie, Joey. What the fuck? What's wrong with you? I forget. It's funny, since we're talking about penis. I don't know if you saw it, but the Pope is back in, I was going to say in town.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I don't think he is. Is the Pope ever burned in New York? had to. Of course, dude. When was the last time he was in New York? I've never seen the guy. Just because you haven't seen him, means he's not been here. This guy, you know he's coming. You got to see you to believe. And he's like, actually goes against the entire thing. The Pope is just like, I am coming to bless people and go to Nobu. But like definitely got to like, you know, bless people and go to like St. John's Catholic. Where's that? St. John's Cathedral. Who? The Pope. You don't think he's going there? What's St. John? Oh, you said St. Patrick's. St. Patrick's. That's right. I was like, what the fuck is St. The President's Cathedral. I forgot. I'm not a, you know.
Starting point is 00:22:57 St. Pats, beautiful church. Wild. Good Nativity set. Really? Really good. I used to go with my family to go to Rockefeller Center, and that's like right across the shit. Yeah, that's what we did this year. So we would go in there, and then, like, we would look at the nativity scene, and it would be like, oh, cool.
Starting point is 00:23:12 That place is, like, it has, like a reverence to it. And I'm not a big religion guy, but, like, you walk in there and it's like, who. Yeah, it's crazy. And also, if you go all the way in the back, like, behind the altar, they have, like, fucking catacombs. Yeah. Where like there's like Pokes are buried. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:28 And shit like that. Kind of crazy. Bones. Catercombs. I love them. Hold on. Yeah, I do too. I think I love catacombs.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Because going down... What a name. Under the catacombs also, I'm thinking honeycombs. It sounds cool. I'm also thinking skulls. I'm thinking skulls. I'm thinking bones. Like, what a great name for something.
Starting point is 00:23:50 And I'm thinking of honeycombs as well. Like, listen, there is a few times in history where something could be kind of scary or not good and the name just like pushes it into a level of like kind of sick catacombs is really cool whoever marketed catacombs i think it was the french good for them they were on to something there good fries good catacombs you know if you go but it's going underground and the walls are made of like dead heads is kind of cool to me kind of sick like kind of sick don't hate it i want to touch it i kind of do you i've wanted i've wanted to touch yeah like i want to touch a human skull oh a thousand percent. I'm with you 100 percent there. And like they knew what they were doing.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Like, yo, what's down there? The catacombs. Also, bro. Oh. Shout out to archaeologists. No, no, no, no. I'm going to be honest with you. I, that's a tough one for me. Say it one more time. I'm going to say it, but then I need you to say it to coach me. Bingo. Got it. Archie. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Is that right? So I was like adding archaeologists. You said archaeologists. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Like it's the fuck is, they're like lollipops. Damn, line of lollipops. Archaeologists. Right now I can't say it. Archilologists. Archie lollipops. And they're like lollipops and inside is little dinosaurs. Yeah, a little dinosaur.
Starting point is 00:25:11 But yo, shout out to them because I don't know how they. Shout out to you at archeologian. God damn it. Now you got me doing it. Shout out to the archaeologists. Because if I was them and I uncover like dinosaur bones and I got that little like brush. Oh. First of all, the brush is fire, bro.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Dude. Brushing bones and you're like, seeing that it's the rib of a fucking triceratops or something, how do you not pick up these bones and just go? Yeah. I mean, they do. I think they, like, hold them up sometimes if they unearth them. And they're like, oh, this is a, you know. But how do you look at a bone and you go, like, this is a toe of a plaviosaurus or something?
Starting point is 00:25:44 Also, bro, how do you not just put that shit in your backpack? Yeah, that's kind of wild. Who's going to know? That's what I'm saying? What bone? I will say, I love the movie Jurassic Park for several reasons. Mm-hmm. close to the start of the movie when they're in the desert and they're fucking...
Starting point is 00:25:58 I love that. That is one of my favorite scenes because it's just like... It looks so satisfying. Oh my God, it looks so good. Also watching a T-Rex step into the mud? Dude. Oh, I love that. Yeah, I wanted to eat mud so bad.
Starting point is 00:26:13 You want to eat mud sometimes. Sometimes. 100% of the times I see mud and I go, I want to just... I have this thing in my brain where like if I see something appealing, the first place I go is I want to eat it. Slime, yeah, mud, yeah, you know, like foam. Foam I'm okay on, to be honest with you. But like, I want to eat it. I want to punch styrofoam.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Oh, do you remember? So, you know, obviously, you know, like stucco siding on like houses or something. When it first, like, became popular in like the early to mid 2000s, there was a shopping mall by us that, like a strip mall that had just like completely redone their. siding and behind it they put fresh beautiful stucco and if you drive by we would at night go there with baseball bats and our friends and literally just like we were fucking tyson and ali just going off on these stucco things swinging bats at it if you are in Astoria and you drive down 43rd street between 23rd avenue and 24th and dimars boulevard check on the back side of that building. That's all us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a piece of history. Maybe we should go
Starting point is 00:27:29 with a knife and take it. Take what? The wall. What are you talking about? It's like, as I remember it. Yeah, like that. That's a rememberer. Yeah, dude, when that T-Rex steps in that mud, and when the, when the kid's in the car and it starts sinking and the mud is going up around him. I don't hate that. Also, like, you're going to think I'm making this up, but like, so a T-Rex, The T-Rex steps, right? And then it makes that- It's four. It's four.
Starting point is 00:27:58 It's three in the front, one in the back. Okay. Like that. That's very good. So after he walks away, it's like a pretty deep hole. And there's some water in it? I'm like, oh, get in there. I kind of want to get in this dinosaur foot pool.
Starting point is 00:28:13 I just love it so much. I don't know why. What the fuck is that? I want it. Like when he, when Dr. Alan Grant has the dinosaur sneeze in his face, I'm just like, yeah. No, no, no. No, no.
Starting point is 00:28:24 But a butt, but, but When The woman, what's her name? Ellie Sattler Her name in the movie Fucking. Ellie Sattler Oh, that's her name in the movie?
Starting point is 00:28:35 Played by Laura Lennie? Oh yeah, yes, yes. Is it Laura Lennie? Hold on. No, that ain't it. That ain't it. Oh, I mean, Laura Dern, my bad.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Sorry, Miss Dern, I know you're watching. She ain't. But when she's got her hand in the shit. Oh, yeah, and it like crumbled poop around her? Yeah, and it's like, She's like, oh, this one's sick. I'm like, that's, it is sick. What you're doing, it's sick, dude.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Dude, no, when they're fucking enjoying the dessert, and she's holding the green yellow. Jell-O. I wanted green jello. Anytime I swear to God, you will think I'm lying. Anytime I've had jello since I've seen that movie, I shake it. I shake it in my spoon.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Or I'll have a cup of water and I'll just go. Yes. Just so I could see the ripples. Oh, my God. I'm glad they were living the same exact life here. Yes, well, you know, that's what happened. And I'm sure everyone can relate to this. that because like we all like these types of things right there's listen like there are certain things
Starting point is 00:29:27 of like iconic movies that just kind of like spruces it up a little bit yeah like when you hear like for instance i don't know when the last time you saw the mask was the jim carrie yeah yeah but at the beginning in the movie the guy like uses a crowbar to open like a chest and there's like pebbles around it and the sound of him moving the like river rocks out of the way is like i swear to god i could fucking come to it. Bro. I know an exact scene where you're gonna love this.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Okay. Jumanji. Yes. One, when he pulls it out of like the dirt or whatever, then he like kind of... Oh, oh, oh! But no, the other one, so like in... But the one where he picks it up
Starting point is 00:30:11 and there's a bunch of dust and he just tilts it and it all falls off and it reveals it. I'm like... That was the nicest thing. But also like, when the kid gets like punched, when little Alan Parrish and he like goes like this to his... his lip and there's blood.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Yeah. Oh. No. I do agree. You know what I'm talking about? Why do we like this shit? Bro, like just the weirdest things as a kid like kind of turned me on a little bit now that I'm thinking about them.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Yeah. There was a movie. I also liked when his hands were getting sucked into the fireplace. And he's like, what's cool? It's kind of cool. Hold on. Hold that. Recently played Jumanji?
Starting point is 00:30:46 Fire. Played it? Yeah, the board game. Oh. Cool. We do have some ads for today. Oh, come on. I had one teed up.
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Starting point is 00:31:56 And that's kind of how it is. And like I said, you put in your insurance, you only will see the doctors that take your insurance. I know sometimes it's a problem for people finding doctors who take their insurance or they'll show the ones in your area. So it's a useful tool and it's free. So go check them out. You can go to Zock.com slash basement and download with a Zockdoc doc app for free.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That is spelled Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash. basement, okay? So go check them out. But yeah, you can start, you know, getting your doctor's appointments just 24 to 72 hours after you've kind of searched them. So go check it out. Zocdot.com slash basement. Go get it, folks. And we also have Stamps.com. Stems.com is the post office, but elevated, okay? It brings all the services of the post office right to your fingertips in your computer. If you have a small business or something like that, they do power over 1 million businesses, whether they're mailing out checks, invoices, legal documents, books,
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Starting point is 00:33:48 Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and put in that code basement for the free four-week trial. If you are a business, definitely use Stamps.com. Everyone I know is just Stamps.com. It's amazing. Do it, okay? And regardless of you're a business, if you're a sole proprietor, if you're an independent contractor, I don't care however you identify. You know what you could do? You can open a new tab and you can go to the basement yard.com.
Starting point is 00:34:09 That's right. New, fresh, hip website for the show. And it's the core. It's the center. It's where you get a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Not only can you find links to merch, which are fucking. great. You can also find links to our Patreon or just go to patreon.com slash a basement yard and join today. Folks, every single week I tell you about it, but I did it a new little fresh
Starting point is 00:34:31 little cute, cute, cute way this time. And I told you to go to the basement yard first and then you go to Patreon. But either way, it's right there ripe for the picking. Just like a juicy fucking avocado, green and oily, ready to slather and lather all over your cute butt. All right? Patreon. What are we doing? Patreon.com slash a base minors. You join today? You get the same thing you do any other day you join, okay? That first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance prior to anybody else.
Starting point is 00:35:02 And then that second tier, well, that's where you get exclusive episodes every single Friday at 7 a.m. on the dizzy dot where you can have more fun with Joe and I, where we actually recap the very first Baseway Experience Live show in Long Clear, New Jersey, where we're probably going to talk about the rest to come. But, you know, you won't know unless you go check it out. So go to pagemen. Don't go to either of those. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thanks for getting this to 28,000 paid subscribers.
Starting point is 00:35:28 We appreciate it so much. Let's keep on climbing. Let's keep on reaching for that brass ring, as if you're trying to get there and you're climbing to the top of the ladder, WrestleMania X-7, and you need to get that briefcase or those belts and that TLC match.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Okay, and also, you could sign up for email information. No, that's not what it's called. No, it's not that either. Email notifications. That's like, got you. Yeah. Third time's a charm. Just like Joey's little dick.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Doesn't even make sense. Frank's talking himself into it. This is what happens when I'm unhinged. Yeah. If you just let me go, this is what's going to happen. It sounds like you've had 400 milligrams of caffeine today. I've had not enough. Right.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Not. So go to the basebredder.com. You can sign up for, you know, newsletter, email alerts where we'll be announcing live shows that are to come. So we're going to take the information from these first three shows. We're going to fucking put it in a ball and we're going to get ready. So go check. it out. Wild.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Wild. Dude, another one of those movie things that I was thinking, there was a movie that I don't know if you've ever heard of, let alone saw. It was in the 90s. It was McCauley Colkin.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Okay. It was called the Pagemaster. Bro, yeah. Dude? I love the Pageman. I had on the H.S. I, oh! I like try to show it to Miles.
Starting point is 00:36:44 He was like, it's all right. It was like, fucking don't, though. Yeah. But the scene where he's in the library and the paint. comes around the corner and it's going for him and he's in the middle. And it makes like everything cartoon, right?
Starting point is 00:36:55 Oh, dude, I love that. God. Guys, you haven't seen it? It's, honestly, it's okay. But it was way cooler when we were kids. I haven't seen it a very long time since I was a children. But it definitely is cool. It's like him.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Wopi Goldberg plays like one of the books. Really? Yeah. I remember that movie. I remember it being like really good. And also he gets like struck by lightning or something. Yeah. Well, no, it's like a storm.
Starting point is 00:37:17 Yeah. And he slips and hits his head and imagines the whole. thing. Got it. Because there's like, and like the paint dripping from the ceiling. Guys, it's really good. It gets on his jacket. Go see it.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Oh yeah. Go see it. Go see it. Go see it. The paint gets on his jacket and then it starts turning into a cartoon. Oh, like you can rent you can rent it for like two or three bucks on Amazon. I might watch that. I might force my nephew to watch it.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Yeah. Absolutely. Definitely force him to watch it. That was one of the movies that me and my siblings have like we watched all the time. Anything that we had VHS, we just watch all the time. Yeah, yeah. Like constantly. I'm right there with you.
Starting point is 00:37:50 do that like that uh i mean a ton a ton of harriet the spy you know i've never seen that oh when they put their feet together i was like oh my god i was kind of i was kind of a little foot fetish just watch it just watch wait who puts their foot together watch it brother watch fucking harriet the spy but harriet is putting her foot against someone it was like a thing that they did is like you know like their like they're like secret cool thing like they putting their feet together like one person would paint their feet and then they put it with the other one just go watch just go i'm not gonna say more You can't just say stuff like this.
Starting point is 00:38:20 I can absolutely say stuff and not follow up with it. I can absolutely do that. Painted feet. So the Pope is cool with jerking off. What? The Pope? We didn't even get to that, didn't it. Yeah, we didn't.
Starting point is 00:38:30 But you were saying that a little bit before the show, but I don't really even really know. So the Pope had gave a sermon. And it was like as a result of like one of his like head guys, his head cardinals being like, he wrote a book about like fucking and sucking. Apparently. This is quite the paraphrase job you're doing. Yeah, whatever. I don't care. What's the Pope's name?
Starting point is 00:38:49 Do you know? Francis. You can't all be named Francis. No, he's Frankie. This guy's name is Jorge. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The Pope's name is Jorge Mario Burgoglio. Nah, what's his Pope name though?
Starting point is 00:39:04 What's his stage name? Yeah, there it is. That's it. That's what I'm saying. His stripper name is Pope. They're like, you know, Jorge doesn't work. It doesn't appeal. You can't be Pope, Jorge.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Yeah, it doesn't appeal. I mean, you could, though. What was John? You, Pope? What was John Paul's real name? I don't know, but this is like crazy to me Imagine it was like Ringo George But like Jorge Mario Bergoglio
Starting point is 00:39:27 And he's Pope Francis That's kind of fake That was my uncle's like first and middle name too Jorge Mario Horre Mario List of popes Bro, they all got the same fucking name Like this is ridiculous
Starting point is 00:39:41 Well I think they choose like when they get confirmed Like you know how like when you were confirmed You became like You know like I don't know What was your Pope name? My confirmation name was Nicholas. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Yeah, you could be like Nicholas John or like Nicholas Luke. Damn, I'm saying if we have a Pope Luke, that guy's going to be out there just like fucking Hot as, we need a hot Pope. Enough with these old bastards. Yeah, like a George Clooney age. Some salt and pepper. If fucking, if the Pope walks out and it's John Hamm, you're not going to convert immediately. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:40:12 They got to, listen, they know what they're doing with the names and the titles. Like they're like Archdiocese. The last one's name was. Joseph Ratzinger. Yeah, there was some... Yeah, I'm sure that it was, bro. There was some stuff there. This guy's name, the other John Paul, his name was Carol.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Carol! They need good stage names. Albino Luciani. That's the most fire fucking name ever, and you changed it to fucking John Paul the first. No one wants to hear from Thomas Maypother. They want to hear from Tom Cruise. You know what I'm saying? Is that his name?
Starting point is 00:40:44 Yeah, Maypother. That sucks. Albino Luciani. Oh, that sounds like a... It's a bitman for the mafia. You're going to, well, there's some, there's some stuff there too. I mean, you know. Holy shit, this guy's got the longest name ever.
Starting point is 00:40:56 This is St. Paul the 6th. Who's the saint? Wait, there are saints down shit? I, I don't know. But it says Giovanni Battista Enrico Antonio Maria Motini. That's his whole name. That's like, that's a whole, that's a whole. That's a whole.
Starting point is 00:41:12 I'm going to say that's a menu. Let me get the Giovanni Battista and Rico Antonio Maria Mortini. That's kind of fire. That sounds like a martini. Yeah, but he apparently, one of his cardinals gave us, like wrote a book about like sexual, like sensuality and shit. And people are like, oh, it's perverted. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just like, listen, guys, it's a gift from God that you can come.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Yeah. And he's saying, he didn't say it like that, exactly. But like, does this now confirm the longstanding question that we've all had? Does the Pope jerk off? He has to. Right? He has to. But I think he said it like.
Starting point is 00:41:49 I think in the article it said, like, you need to practice, like, patience and something like that. So, like, is also now next question is the Pope edging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? Edging? I mean, no, I know what it is, but like, I, like. Oh, you know what that is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Fucking edge lord boy over here. I'm not edge lord boy. What the fuck are you saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you know that the popes have mottos, by the way? Because I'm on Wikipedia right now. I was like looking at the names, but they have mottos. They better be sick.
Starting point is 00:42:19 better be like for once for Christ for all or something like that like I don't want to hear like you know the light of the Lord like I want to hear some like dope shit well it's not it's weird that they all have like if I can if you can tell it to me and I couldn't be able to tell you if it was like a DMX song or if it was the saying for the Pope that's cool the current Pope his is it's it's in Latin and then it's translated to English so it's Miserando oh never mind you know what I'm not going to say these words were you offending the It's, Joey, they're dead. It's a dead language.
Starting point is 00:42:53 You're fine. It's ATQUE. How would you even... ATQUE. A-T-Q-U-E-A-T-Q-E-A-T-E-E-A-K-W-E. I guess. And then, Elegendo. It means lowly but chosen.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Kind of fire. Definitely sounds like it could be a DMX song. Yeah, I guess. What were the other ones? This one is Totas-Tus, which is totally yours. That is, sounds like... Total yours? Totally yours
Starting point is 00:43:20 Kind of cute This one is Oh this is Giovanni Batisse Enrigo Antonio Maria Maltini He said Come Spell like come
Starting point is 00:43:28 But come like Whoso Spelled like which one Come CUM That's Coom Come to me Coom
Starting point is 00:43:36 Like cum laude Yeah So it says Come Ipso in Monte Which means Damn you're coming in Monte Dogg With him on the mount
Starting point is 00:43:44 Mount Mount What are you doing? Like mountain. Like on the pinnacle of love. Like Mount Olympus, Mount Everest. I guess. With him on the mount?
Starting point is 00:44:00 Yeah. Damn, that could be considered like a little questionable though. People have some interesting ones. The peace of Christ in the kingdom of Christ. That feels like. That's too on the nose. That seems too on the nose. It needs to be something that like if a like I'm telling you,
Starting point is 00:44:15 if like a hip hop artist or a rapper used it would sound sick. Benedict, this one's from 1914. In thee, oh Lord, have I trusted, let me not be confounded forevermore. I don't know what that means, but evermore is a cool word. That's too much of a motto, man. Too mouthy. Too mouthy, too mouthy.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Don't you. Shorten it up. You know, come on. What are you doing, popes? That was back then, no. They like long form content, but that's way too long. That was 1914. Do you think now there are a bunch of like people that like follow the Pope
Starting point is 00:44:43 that are just like, oh, he said it's good and like just like fucking cranky? He did say, though, he advises it. against pornography. So you're a sinner. You're a porn, Joe. I haven't watched porn in a while. Good for you, brother. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Brother? I, what are we talking about? The Pope. So what did he say that, like, it's okay to yank your crank? Well, now you need me to pull up the exact, like what he said from the sermon.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Yeah. But, you know, why would this come up? Again, so, uh, Continuing a streak of unusually cool stuff, the Pope decided to let the world know that he believes sexual pleasure is a gift from God.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Say that. How does he know, though? He's never had sex. But I'm sure he's just like, you know, like window shopping a little bit. Like, he's like, yo, hit that up. That should be sick, brother. Do you think any of the Pope's friends?
Starting point is 00:45:37 Get that. Do you think any of the Pope's friends are ever like, yo, you fucking virgin? Oh, that. A hundred percent. Like, if I was boys with the Pope, I'd be texting. I'm like, yo, you don't even know what vagina is. Just like, dude, yeah, life is tough.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Just fucking go out there and feel a titty. Yeah. You know? Wait. I guess that, you know, I don't mean to speak ill of ill papa, but like, you think he's ever even like seen. They got nude. They've got nude pictures all over the place.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah. There's like statues and stuff. Yeah. He's probably seen more statues tits than like actual women's tits. He was quick to follow up with recommendation that it, that self pleasure be, quote, disciplined with patience. Yeah, that's edging. That's edging.
Starting point is 00:46:16 That's edging 100%, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just like, go for it. But. stop. Yeah, like, but don't, but like make it last all night. In the same Vatican address, part of the series of sermons on vices and virtues, Pope Francis warned against pornography, which he said leads to satisfaction without relationship
Starting point is 00:46:30 and could also result in addiction. He's not wrong. I mean, yeah. There is porn addiction. A thousand percent. There's also sex addiction, though. Yeah, but I think it's like, wait, is he saying without relationship? So, like, if you just pretend you're in a relationship with the porn that you're watching.
Starting point is 00:46:48 If you make your own porn and then watch it. that porn is that porn mm that's a great question that is a great question honestly or is it just a love making memory it's like a family video what would you do no okay all right I already know you're gonna say no not because it's funny because we were just watching our home videos the other day oh and like so like imagine it's just like cut and it's like my like back then cameras were so big like you wouldn't be able to like you know get that get that working I mean you could set it up
Starting point is 00:47:19 It's too big, though. That's a lot, man. My mom's, I vividly remember my mother's video camera. Same. It was massive. And it came in like a gun case. Like, it looked like a sniper rifle. Yeah, I remember it too, honestly.
Starting point is 00:47:33 And you had to pull it out and put it on your fucking shit. It had a pad to put on your shoulder. That's how big it was. Yeah, those things were quite big. And you put a whole like VHS tape in it. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, it's done. Let me put a, it's like loading a fucking rifle.
Starting point is 00:47:46 It's like, it's like, it's like, There you go, folks. You don't have a future in that. I will say. What's that job? Were they like...
Starting point is 00:47:57 Beatboxing. No, you fucking. I know... Beboxing isn't a job. I know. Of course it's a job. You don't think people get paid to beatbox? Who?
Starting point is 00:48:07 Beat boxers. But where do they box? Biz Marquis. He's a rapper. He's also a dead. Yeah, he is. He was. Newly, freshly.
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Starting point is 00:48:22 I opt out of Siri on all of my shit. Really? I don't know why. Watch this. Anyone watching? Hey, Siri. When did Bismarkey die? Let's see if it works.
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Starting point is 00:50:58 You want to stay fresh with the clothes. And with Sid Fitch, they're going to help you do that. So all you have to do is go on the website. You fill out a little questionnaire. You tell them your sizes. You tell them, you know, what type of clothes you like to wear, this and that. And then they start pulling items from, you know, over a thousand. brands that you know and love
Starting point is 00:51:16 and they show up at your door and you pay for what you keep. Okay? So you like, I got a brand new shirt. I got some new pants. I got new shoes or whatever it is. So it's great. So it's like having your own personal society that's constantly sending you new stuff and then you only pay for what you keep. So if you really like it, you keep it, boom, you send the rest back. It's amazing. So right now,
Starting point is 00:51:35 you'll get some money off. So you'll go to stitchfix.com slash basement and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix. Okay, so the box is going to show up. You keep everything in there. You're getting 25% off all those items. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:51:49 So go to stitchfix.com slash basement right now, and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix. Go make your wardrobe fresh with Stitchfix. Okay. Stitchfix.com slash basement. Enjoy, folks. That was very sweet. You're very good.
Starting point is 00:52:09 Yeah. You're so good. Okay. What is that, by the way? What is that, by the way? It's a lobster It's a crab It's the Jersey Shore Blue Claws
Starting point is 00:52:20 The Minor League affiliate for the Philadelphia Phillies That's a cool logo Yeah And it's their old one too Is it a crab? Yeah it's a blue claw crab Yeah have you never seen Oh I saw a video of a blue crab ones
Starting point is 00:52:34 Yeah they're called blue claws And they're blue right? They're blue That's crazy And you cook them and they're not They're white But then you cook But raw
Starting point is 00:52:41 I had you ever Are you ever? crap you're crap i love crab yeah that's my favorite king crab yeah yeah yeah you love eating i'm a whore for crap you are a dude i will if that piece of horr bring it in i'm fucking dogging it dumping it in fucking uh butter and then just yeah you know you should do that you want to know something for new years i looked at getting because you know we were small it was just myself, you know, the kids, Becca and my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, my in-laws. And I was like, oh, like, maybe I'll just get, like, you know, a couple pounds of king crab to
Starting point is 00:53:22 have, like, a fish spread, you know? Bro? 800 books. They go, oh, we can only sell it in boxes of 10 pounds. So I'm thinking, I'm like, all right, if this guy, and he goes, I can give you a deal on it. Because, like, normal king crab was, like, $40 a pound. and he's like, it will be a couple extra bucks for the colossal, which is what I wanted.
Starting point is 00:53:44 He's like, but nothing crazy. And they only do 10 pound boxes. So I'm like, all right, see if he can make me. You know, again, Tony Soprano came out. I was like, you know, see if he can make me a deal. Give me a deal. You know, and he goes, yeah, it's $60 a pound. I was like, that's a couple.
Starting point is 00:54:01 That's a couple dollars extra. And he's like, yeah, I wasn't able to. And he's like, and you'd have to get a 10 pound box. I was like, 600 bucks. No thanks, dude. Dude, 10 pounds of crap. Who the fuck? fuck is eating that.
Starting point is 00:54:11 Bro, I got it for like a party of like 20 people once and we did, we had a lot left over. 10 pounds? Yes. We, years ago when it was like $25 a pound, we got it for like a party when Becca's brother came from Oregon. And we were like, you know what, fuck it. It's a party. Like let's go for it. 10 pounds, we couldn't, we like 12 adults couldn't finish the whole thing and like several children.
Starting point is 00:54:35 I mean, that's a lot of fucking crab. But I'm a big meat guy. Like, I can eat a lot, you know? Yeah. I'm hungry right now. Damn, I'm getting hungry talking about this shit. I would love to have some crab right now. I had some crab last night.
Starting point is 00:54:47 I told you that. Yeah, Jonah crab. Oh, the Jonah crab, yeah, yeah. But I would do that. You know what I want to do? I want to go to, like, the South and go to, like, a shit where they just put, like, everything on the table. And you just throw the shit in the middle, like, that type of shit. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:00 But I have to figure out if I'm allergic to crawfish or not. Well, yeah, you're, you can't have shrimp. Well, I don't even, like, I got to test that. I wish I can like... You have on several occasions and you get itchy. I had once. You've only had shrimp once? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Did you get itchy? I think. What do you mean you think? Did you get itchy or did you not get itchy? I don't know. I was like, I was already nervous about eating it. So I was like, this is really before I like really branched down to eating foods. Like now I remember, we'd go to Miami and Jo would be like, um, can I get, uh, chicken
Starting point is 00:55:30 tenders? Please. And I'm like getting a paella. Yeah. Remember when you guys got that paella? And the guy was like, oh, that's. That's $150. And you're like, what?
Starting point is 00:55:38 Yeah, the guy goes like, we have a deal. You can get two drinks for free if you get this paella. And it's like a super great deal today. And Eric and I were both like, yeah, that can't be that bad. Like, what was it going to be like 70 bucks? You know, double. Yeah. Double and then some.
Starting point is 00:55:54 That was fun. But, yeah, I mean, as far as like eating 10 pounds of crab, that's something. Go home. I'd be interested in. Tonight and have a little baby get like, get some sushi, get some scoosh. scoosh it up and get a shrimp tempera roll I just like can't
Starting point is 00:56:11 I'm just afraid of like okay now I'm itchy now what do I do Benadryl yeah but then like why am I going to sign myself to look at
Starting point is 00:56:20 to figure out if you can eat it is shrimp even worth it yeah a big old fat cold shrimp cocktail and you fucking let it swim in some cocktail sauce cocktail sauce is great
Starting point is 00:56:31 oh yeah do it you might as well what do you got to lose where do you rank shrimp on the scale of shit. Well, I need to know what's on the board. Fucking fish stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:41 All fish? Yeah. All right. Seafood. That's when I buy fish stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crabs at the top for me. Crab is number one.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Especially king crab. But like these little baby crab, like snow crabs, get that the fuck away from me. Have you ever had, what's that called? Soft shell crab where you just eat the crab? Yes. I've done that. I like it.
Starting point is 00:56:59 I like biting into a crab. It makes you feel like a sharky. Yes. Oh my God. I feel like such a like a fucking. Because you're eating shell. It's like not a, Yeah, it's all right.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Don't worry about it. It's good. There's got to be something. I think I once took like a supplement for like my stomach and it was like ground up crab. Like shell, yeah. Weird, right, right, right. Crab is number one. Tuna steak?
Starting point is 00:57:19 I'm going to get. He's like steak. I'm going to get a Tuna guy. He'll give us like, I got a tuna guy. Where'd you find a tuna guy? I'm not going to explain who he is. Oh, he's an underground tuna guy. He said, no, no, no, he's a, above ground?
Starting point is 00:57:31 Well, technically, I got to be careful. Oh, he's on the sea. I got to be careful. He got to be careful. Wait, how do you be careful? It's tuna. No, there's like laws and stuff about like giving away tuna. Like he gives it to us. He can't legally sell it.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Oh, he's an illegal to sell it. Oh, he's an illegal to- Kind of a little bit, maybe. Okay. Something like, uh, prohibition tuna. Bro? Yeah. We'll bring us like 20 pounds of fresh, like cut like 10 seconds ago. 20 pounds.
Starting point is 00:57:54 How do you guys shop over there? Pounds? 10 pounds of crab, 20 pounds of tuna. Where are you putting this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We cook a lot of it. We'll cut some up. We'll make some little like tuna bites for like the kids.
Starting point is 00:58:05 You know, bread them and... Oh, dude. You make a little like sashimi or something? I got a tuna guy. Miles makes tuna rolls. He makes sushi. Yeah, he could do it all. Damn, dude, you got seaweed in that house?
Starting point is 00:58:17 Sometimes. I like seaweed. Isn't that how you mean? Cips? No, I meant like for rolling. We have in the past. We don't like keep it on hand all the time. I was asking, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Yeah, so... But where do you put 10, put 20 pounds of tuna? Eat some of it. You put some in the freezer. You know, you give some away. Oh. You know? You want them.
Starting point is 00:58:35 A fat tuna. You want a fat? Because making a tuna steak. Well, he brings it to us like this and this. Like he brings the... How much is that 20 pounds, tuna, bro? Bread. It's the thick meat.
Starting point is 00:58:45 How much is it? Oh, tuna is like $35, $40 a pound? He gives you 20 pounds of that? He gives us a lot. That's a lot of fucking tuna. It gives a lot tuna. That's too much tuna. It is a little bit.
Starting point is 00:58:59 We told him, one summer he brought us like several fish at once. He was like, by the way, I got tuna, I got mahi, I got squid. This guy's like a drug dealer, but with fish. Well, I guess so. That's crazy. Food, food, man. You know? Why are you just saying food?
Starting point is 00:59:11 Yeah, you know. Yeah. He came home one day and he gave us a bucket of crab, blue shell crab. Ooh. Blue claw crab. Oh, they're just blue crabs in it? And they're just living in, they're alive. I would be high.
Starting point is 00:59:21 I would probably try to make one a pet, to be honest. What do crabs eat? Other animals, I think. So I got to, like, feed them fish? Yeah, you got to feed them, like, goldfish and stuff. Do people domesticate crabs? I'm sure you can. Why not?
Starting point is 00:59:34 I mean, I mean, I mean, you could. domesticate anything technically. Like an emotional support lobster or something? Yeah. Lobsters are cool. Lobsters are mad, cool. But honestly, not my top five of seafood. If it's a bisque,
Starting point is 00:59:49 Opa. Opa. But not like cooked. Like these people that are just like, they bring out like a whole fucking tuna. And it's just like, and they're like, I'm not a tuna. A lobster?
Starting point is 01:00:01 And they're just like, oh, this is a delicacy. No, not for me. I like, I'd rather it be a part of the lobster's body. That to me is better than like just eating, although I did have a lobster tail and it was ridiculous. Fat? Yeah. And they like covered it in butter obviously. Yeah, but like honestly, I would prefer crab over lobster any fucking day.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Easily. By the way, again, several things we wanted to talk about today. Not getting to that. We literally got to. Yeah. One of them. It happens. What are you going to do?
Starting point is 01:00:32 It happens. That's the basement yard. Yeah. That's what you signed up for. We have a show in two days, so we're warming up right now. Oh, yeah, we got it. We got it kind of works. Maybe we could bring some of these to the show or something.
Starting point is 01:00:40 Maybe. Probably not. Read my computer, guys. Can I? What is that? This just says, why is Greg naked on your computer? Look at your stupid face when you said that.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Your little, like, Popeye laugh. By the time they see this, it'll be over. But, like, New Haven, we're coming for you. Yeah, we are. We're coming. Yeah. It's going to be a good time. A lot of our friends are going to be there.
Starting point is 01:01:09 You announce when you're finishing? Announce. Like, oh, I'm going to. Oh, yeah. It's a courtesy warning. My lady, you know, just like, be prepared. I am going to arrive. Any second now.
Starting point is 01:01:26 God, I love this show. Do you not? God, I love it. You don't. You just like, it's a shock and kick the door it? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. That's between myself and my wife.
Starting point is 01:01:34 I mean, you're asking. Me. That's what they, well, yeah, you answered. So who's the joke? He just called me a joke. Son of a bench. Listen, folks. Also, give me your top three of the seafoods real quick.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Oh, oh, crab. Crap. Tuna. Salmon's up there. I love salmon, dude. I like, you're gonna have, I'll raw dog it. I'll fucking cook raw dog it. Like, I'll.
Starting point is 01:01:58 There's a guy on TikTok. I believe his account is the sushi guy. Now I got to get sushi tonight, by the way. But yeah, yeah, I'm probably going to do it. too but there's a guy I think his name is a sushi guy and he has like such a calming voice and he's like today we're gonna go to Costco and we're gonna try sushi and he like goes and he's like we're gonna give it the smell test and then like smells it yeah yeah and then he like cuts it up and he makes like I don't know how to say all the words but there's like different ways of eating like
Starting point is 01:02:24 tuna like sometimes he just makes like a sushi roll out of it that some other shit then he just eats like a piece raw um and like sometimes he cooks them or whatever but sometimes he like gets tuna from Costco and he's like this is great too I'm not salmon I'm not salmon great food yeah dude salmon oh my god
Starting point is 01:02:39 raw salmon it's like butter legitimately like butter let me before we end on the show say like you are like super pumped
Starting point is 01:02:47 first like some fucking tuna and then it comes out on like boobies and stuff what you never seen that in movies where it'll be like oh like a
Starting point is 01:02:56 naked Japanese yeah and it's like a naked person on a table and there's like a fucking salmon roll on her ding dong there's fucking you know
Starting point is 01:03:02 like tuna rolls on her nipples yeah kind of don't want that I mean, I would eat a tuna roll off a nipple quicker than I would eat a... A nipple I know. Yeah. I'm not a fucking random nipple coming in.
Starting point is 01:03:14 I don't want that. You don't know where that nipple been. Well, if I'm eating off of a naked Japanese woman, I'm assuming at him... It could not be Japanese woman. It could be a right... It's a Japanese food. It can be an American woman, any race. Whatever.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Whoever it is, I'm picturing Japanese in my fantasy, all right? Not that it's a fantasy. I'm just saying, hold on. Wait, whoa, whoa, we're discovering something here. My thoughts, I mean. But, you know, I'm assuming. assuming I'm at some like Illuminati meeting where I can't go, I'm good. I don't, that doesn't sound appealing to me in the slightest. Yeah, I don't want to eat my food off of a body either.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Dude, like, I'm, bro, if Becca comes out and she's like, here are the nipples, I'm all about it. But she's like, here on my top of my nipples. I'm like, can we just do two separate things? Wait, I don't understand what you just said. Like, if she's like, I have, you want sushi, here's sushi on my nipples. Okay. I'd be like, you can, you can do it separate dishes, you know? I like to, I like to, when I get a plate of food, I like to make my food not touch. Okay. You know, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think that's everybody.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Damn, I'm talking about the mother of my children's nipples here. They're nipples. It's all right. They're nipples. Wait, did you say that? Oh, so if she did that, you'd be like, don't. I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, next time we can just get sushi. Well, she was trying to have fun.
Starting point is 01:04:26 I know, and I'm about fun. Clearly not. Don't. She was trying to have fun, and you were just like, oh. I'm all about fun. I'm all about fun. I'm a fun guy. I'm 100% fun.
Starting point is 01:04:35 What? I'm coming from Mr. Fun. You're not fun. You're not fun, you bitch. You're not fun. You don't have 30 pounds of seafood in your free cereal. You're not fun, dude.
Starting point is 01:04:47 All right. Well, let's get out of here. We have a show to do. We have to get on the road tomorrow. Frank, where can they find you? At all right, on Twitter on the week, Frank Albury is another little forum and social media. Go check out the Patreon.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Patreon. Patreon. TikTok and Instagram. Go follow me at Joe Sanigado. Go hit that Patreon. Patreon.com slash the Basement Yard. We are currently ranked the 12th biggest Patreon on the entire site. And eight for podcasts.
Starting point is 01:05:17 And eight for podcasts. Insane. And it's still going up. We appreciate you guys so much. It's fucking crazy. But thank you guys so much. And if you're, I mean, I guess this is coming out afterwards. But see you in New Haven.
Starting point is 01:05:30 Also, we'll see you in Medford, Massachusetts. Also, maybe we'll see you if we announce more shows. Yeah. I mean, we are going to announce more shows. So we'll see you out there. All right. Thank you guys so much for the support. We love you guys.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Thank you so much. See you next time.

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