The Basement Yard - #437 - Welcome To The Diaper Spa!

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

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Welcome back to the basement yard. Welcome back to the basement yard. We're very excited to have you here today. It's episode, what? I don't know. What number is it? Two something? No, we're in threes or fours.

No, we're not. Are we? We're in three. At least three. Oh, yeah, I'm bugging. Where are you all over the place? We have a lot of really good stuff to talk about. Hopefully you stick around, hang out with us, and, you know, get some, get some laughs today.

Oh, wow. Really good intro, Frank. I get a little. Like when you give me too much I can't take it all You know what I'm saying So like I kind of That sounded wildly

Homosexual dude That sounded insanely That is insane That sounded too much Alright alright By the way You threw your hat over there And I swear to God for some reason

Like my contact was like a little blurry for a second And I thought it was a helmet How big is your fucking head It's a hat brother Take it easy right I know but like how big Take it the fuck easy What size hat

What size hat 738 I think it's not that big I don't know about that I honestly don't know off top of my head top of my head oh very good Frank's in rare form right now

listen you know I'm living it up live large in public doing it up hanging out with I can't rap I know I can't rap today Frank's just singing and rapping it's like your whole life is a musical

I watched speaking of musicals I just uh I watched Wanka with our boy Timothy Chau-my Timotei he's our boy now first of all I'm gonna say something right now after watching that fucking movie I fuck with Timmy.

Really? Yeah, I like him, bro. He's kind of too, he's too sharp. He's a sharp looking at. He looks like you hang out with him if he hits you with your elbow. Like, you're going to get a gash. Yeah, you're going to. Like, it is true.

If you kiss him at the wrong angle, it'll slit your throat. There is dangers. There's risks, of course. But I do think that he's a really cool guy, and I like his singing voice a lot. Are we, it's here. You said he's our boy. Like, we're like. He said, I'm just talking here.

I've never met him. I would like to. meet him, maybe give him a dat, go to a Knicks game, drink a beer. Is that what he does? He's like, New York. But he's like too cool now. First of all, no. Timote.

Timote. I don't like that. I also like that he's fluent in French. That's awesome. Kind of, yeah. I was going to say it sucks, but it's honestly more jealous. No, it's fire. More jealousy.

He's like, Timote chilemy. Yeah. You know, be a guy. Be a New Yorker, you know? Like, yo, I'm Tim. Timmy C's. Tim Cham. I'm Tim Cham.

Tim Cham is here. Yeah. I, you watched it? I liked it. I thought that he was a decent singing voice, too. Like, it's good. I didn't like it. It's something soothing about it.

I didn't like it. Why are the umpalupa so small, dude? Yeah. I didn't like that. They weren't that small. They weren't that one movie. In the movie, they were just... A little bigger.

Well, they also heard it was one dude. It was one fucking guy and they just, like, recreated him all the time. I didn't think it was like a whole band of little people. No, no, no. I think in the original, like, you know, uh... Gene Wilder. Gene Wilder, it was several. little people actors.

Again, I don't know what to say. I think, I think, yeah. And then when they had done the remake or whatever it was with Johnny Depp, your other boy. I mean, I like Johnny Depp. I'm not supposed to. Where are we on Johnny Depp? Were you good with him still? He got green stated back in the movies.

He's back in? Yeah, she crapped on his bed and they were like, yeah, get the take the movie back. That's crazy. I didn't know. But that was one actor that they had filmed like hundreds of different times. So then that's the one. redid it. And then now it's just Hugh Grant. Yeah. Like,

is this, all right, I got a question here. Serious question. Serious, serious, serious, serious question. I am seeking the advice of the little people community. Okay. Are they not, like, do they not want the, like, roles of, like, little people or do they want roles of little people? That's a fair question. Because I legitimately don't know, like, if they're like, yo, we're casting oom-poll,

Are little people like, yes, this is what we need to do? Or are they just like, no, that's, I don't like that's, I don't like that's, I don't like that's, I think it's like a typecast. Oh, no, no. I think it's like that. But I do think that. Well, Hollywood's evil, Joey. You know big Hollywood, big evil. I know, but I don't think that Hugh Grant should be taking jobs away from little people.

Yeah. And of all people, Hugh Grant, isn't he like six to? Like, it's a big, it's a big fucker. It's a big British boy. Yeah. He's up there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

So is it like, well, how do they feel about that? I don't know. and I don't want to assume I know here. Right, but you're doing that, and I feel like you're just saying that you don't want to. But I will say that I did like the movie. I thought it was good. I thought Timmy did a good job,

and then I think he could sing too. I didn't like it. I will say, pure imagination. I don't know what it is about that song. Come with me, and you'll be in a world of pure imagination. I don't know the rest of it Kind of kind of I kind of crushed that

We kind of did When you hear the Bing bong I love that shit Dude yeah I love it But like it's It's that

That song for some reason Tugs at my heartstrings Bro I want to cry I want to hear that shit I want to cry that song Because it's like God damn Do I want to live in a world

Of pure imagination It's so bad If you want to view Paradise Simply look around And view it That's good advice That's good advice

But like It's also kind of like simple. It's like, oh, you want this? It's there. Just look for it. That's what I'm saying, but that's how simple it is. I didn't, I wasn't a big fan of it. And I'll tell you what. I liked it. The, the Gene Wilder was kind of a freak, dude. Oh, he was a little weird. It was kind of funny too.

Bro. He was just all over the place. This guy, like, you knew like he had like three oompa lumpas in the back that he was just fucking dog-up-up. Yeah, yeah. He was dogging him out. But like, I didn't get that with, with Timmy's. Like Timmy Shals. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's not his fault. He's not right in the fucking movie. but but but you know there's a little bit of wiggle room like the realized character I feel like we didn't get

the realized Willie Wonka I know it's a prequel and it's like how he gets to be where he wants and the whole thing with the mom cute whatever but like like Gene Walther was just kind of like a horny little bitch he was like spinning and we don't know where we're going and it's like this dude is pretty much jerking off

on his own words right right right right I didn't get that from Timmy Shells I mean no I mean and he didn't write the movie again I think that he, I think he did a good job. And I did like it. And also, I really, I would like chocolate now. I kind of want chocolate now too. Because there's a scene where, like, he has, you remember the scene?

Oh, you saw it, obviously. Where it's like you eat the chocolate and then you can fly and shit. I'm like, bro, I'm trying to get up in the air. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Let me eat a chocolate. There's some chocolates that if you eat them. You'll be flying high.

Yeah, but you can only get him in Amsterdam. Yeah. Or Denver. Yeah. Oh. Or that. Yeah. But yeah, I watched it.

I liked it. I thought it was good. I wasn't a big fan. Yo, Timi, Timote, if you watch this, bro, let's go have a beer in fucking Manhattan, dog. I know you're busy with some shit. I'm just going to say this. Although I wasn't a big fan of your movie. Or, no, I think about it.

I don't know if I've liked any of your movies. Really? I don't. I mean, call me by your name. I haven't seen it in its entirety. What I've seen very good. That's like a... I didn't watch Dune.

I watched Dune. Why do you like get horny at me like that? What? You were like, I watch it. Watch Dune. No, no, no. I didn't do that at all. No, I've seen Dune. I respect him as his, you know, living his dream.

I think he's a great actor. This guy is arting it out there. Yeah, he's very artistic. I swear to God, if he hits you up and I don't get at least a fucking courtesy. I hope he tells you to go fuck yourself. You're dead to me. I hope he tells you to go fuck yourself. That's somehow cooler than having a beer with him.

Somehow, it'd be way cooler if Timothy Shalame is just like, bro, fuck you. I'd be hilarious. You know what? Not only did I deserve that? I kind of like it. I would tell him too. I'd just tell us, dude, just tell us, dude, just suck your dick. It would be hilarious.

No way, dude. And he'd probably do a good job. You'd believe him because you know why? He's a good actor. Oh, yeah, well, he probably believe him. Yeah, well, he's probably actually, maybe he doesn't. Are they good lie? Like, if you're a great actor, are you like a great liar?

Bro, did I ever tell you when I was in middle school? Oh, God, yes. I love when stories come out about how fucking much of an idiot I was in middle school. There was a part after, I think, like, high school musical two came out or something like that. I was, like, full into, like, I want to be a fucking actor. Okay. And there was a point in time where, like, someone was like, why do you want to be an actor? And I was just like, actors are like the best at imagination.

And like, they are the... And then I said, and they were like, what do you mean? And I was just like, actors are the best liars. And that... You're a sick person. You're mentally sick. But like, not that I want to be a liar, but like... You just said...

No, no, no, no, no. Someone said, why do you want to be an actor? You're like, because they're good at lying. No, no, no, no. But, like, I just, like, use it to just be like, actors are so, like, the best liars because they're pretending all the time. And it's just like such a stupid fucking, like, it is stupid. Such a stupid. But it's not true.

Kind of. It's not not true, though. Like, if you're a great actor, then you could, you could lie. Put on performance. Go crazy. But you could also, like, fucking, like, pro poker players that won't make good actors. You know what I mean? They're not lying.

They're just not moving their face. Yeah. Bro, do you ever see what was the big poker player that did, like, sports, science and like beat the lie detector test Nagano? No, what was his name? I have no idea. Negroo. Oh, I know who you're talking about.

But I don't know his name, but definitely not in Gano because that guy's a UFC fighter. I know Francis Ngano. I know him. But like, yeah, I remember at the time, Timothy Shalame might tell me to, but I would know if he's being honest. You know what I mean?

It's true. He's also like 22. No, he's not. Bro, he's down there. He's down there. He's down there. I think he's like 25. Really?

I don't know, bro. I hope he's, he's not 22 because that's Timmy's look up Timmy Shals Timmy Shal But he's 28 You dumb fucking idiot

All right I lost that one 28! All right They also picked a horrible picture of them For his Wikipedia Isn't he dating Kylie Jenner There you go

Yeah he's probably sending her to space All the time Crazy You think That's cold word for sex Oh I got you I got you guys Yeah yeah yeah

You think What He's he's like I don't I don't know you Mr. Shalach I'm ruining your chances here Yeah Yeah you're not helping here

I'm trying to be nice to the guy And you're over here Fucking trying to like... You know when you can look at certain people And you just go like, God damn They've got the motion of the ocean You know what I'm saying? I feel like he's so like

Thin that he might just have a fat Fat punger He might have like a full sausage He's got like an Everlappisting gobstopper Down there He's just wonka bar in it out Bro by the way I know we're getting off topic once again

But in the original Gene Wilder when that fucking kid opens up the chocolate I'm like this looks so fucking good this chocolate looks so fucking yeah fuck the ticket I'm trying to eat some of that fucking chocolate bar dude this chocolate's so good it makes your fucking grandpa walk you know what I'm saying that's what I'm saying

yo don't even get me started on that old oh yeah that fucking old bastard I think it was depression though that's what I think it was you know what I think I think he's a fucking lazy fuck I love the dude was dancing the original one there's a scene I forgot exactly which one it is one of the kids

are doing something he's like no stop please oh no oh yeah just fucking like jean wilder is just so fucking good in that and to like he died i think in like 2017 2018 he lived up in connecticut there was a drive in theater that would play it every year and he would go and do like a q and a

a minute a fucking shittsie gigs man young frankenstein yeah jean wilder man young frankenstein that's a great movie uh you know obviously willie wonka the guy was just fucking it's jean he's just jean just good old jeanie it's jean good old jean Wasn't he the producers, the original producers as well?

Of what? The producers. Oh. I don't know. Oh, I think so. Was it? I don't know. I don't mean either, but it's all right.

It felt like if I agreed with you, it would go away. Speaking of Dune. Yeah. Did you see the popcorn bucket? The popcorn bucket? Here we go! What are you doing? Sorry, I had to...

So inappropriate. I'm sorry. And, like, incorrect way to say. sneeze. It wasn't incorrect. You did? Okay, well, I felt that one of my chest honestly. I guess I'll just... Because you sneeze with your whole body like a psycho. Fucking

You see the Dune popcorn bucket? Dune popcorn bucket? This thing is going to suck your cock better than anything you've ever had. A pop Look it up. Dune popcorn bucket. So you know how like... Oh, for Batman. It was like Batman. Yes, it was the cow.

And for like the Super Mario Brothers movie. It was a question block. They made one for Dune and it's of the sandworms. Okay. For Dune 2? Yes. This is a flashlight. Dude, what the fuck?

A little bit of butter? You're going to tell me... Look at this. You're going to tell me you're not fucking going to town on that thing? I can tell you this. 100% of the men who bought this one home and railed it. Railed the shit out of it. They're bringing this back home and they're full on porno railing.

How does this get like... Like, is no one thinking... I legitimately ask that all the time when there's like stupid marketing campaigns and I'm just like, either the people that are doing this have no sense of what is real or... What happened?

There's a picture here where Jimmy Fallon had it and Timmy's throwing his fucking fist in it. Oh yeah, I think it's Kimmel. I think they were on Kimmel. Yeah, and he was fist in it? On TV? He put his whole hand in that bad boy. Listen, man.

Timmy. Do we need to get one? For science, I think Go see Dune too Go to like a movie and get it But you know these things are gonna be collectibles Of course I mean they're probably You can't find them anywhere

Just put this thing on like a fucking A little bit of butter That's what I'm saying It's a little freaky bitch I'm just I'm only saying What I believe other people have already said in Probably done Yeah they're banging it for 100%

They're bringing this thing home Or you even fuck home They're Peebee Hermaning this bad boy Oh my god illegal stuff They're bringing this right to bro no speaking of pee we herman he's dead i know he's super dead

rip rip um the fact that like there's a whole movie theaters dedicated to porn is like insane to me here's my serious serious serious question why would you want to watch it like that but not only why would you want to watch it like well because it was like it was like

a thing of like the 70s and 80s before you can get it readily available at home what the fuck did you think was going to happen yeah you don't think people are jerking off in there I think it's I think it's fucked up to have that and not let them jerk out. Bro, you're you are legitimately telling me you have a movie theater with comfy seats dark, dark, born. And people and porn on the TV and people are not going to jerk off in there? How could you do that? What is wrong with you?

That's fucked up. There was a porn theater by us. Me and you? Yeah, growing up. Oh, on a fucking. A Story Boulevard. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I never, I never been there either. It was close to the cozy cabin, though, and that place I have been, don't, you can't go, because it's been condemned. Yeah, and it was cozy at the time. If you, by cozy, you're all about just like women that cough and show their boobs. Yeah. Coughing, if you wanted coughing strippers? Naked coughing strippers. You got it, man.

You got to hit the cozy cabin, dude. There's naked coughing strip. Oh, man, the croup on her was just so fucking. It's a coughing strippers. That's hysterical. Naked coughing strippers. Bro. It's like,

it's so true, though. Wait till you hear the fucking... The ventilation in there wasn't great. There's a lot of black mold. I hear they just got a new one with a fucking... With a swollen larynx. Yeah, yeah. You know?

Yeah. But what do you expect, dude? Yeah. Of course. But at the time, Peewey Herman got caught for this. He probably had... money to get some porn at home. Yeah, that's a little confusing.

But I think there's some people that are probably into like, well, I'm being sneaky, no he knows him in here doing this. Gross. Yeah, very weird. I would also be like, I'm Pee Wee Herman. I'm worried about walking out of this place and somebody like, hey, peewee! And I was like, wait, what the fuck, Peewee?

I mean, it might have been a dark time for Mr. Paul Rubens. I'm not quite sure what was going on in his life at the time. But, I mean, he's hamming it up in a fucking movie theater. I mean, there's definitely stuff going on. Also, like, you have to, like, get ready for that. You know what I mean? Like, you can't just show. show up ready to jerk.

You need to wear like certain clothes, a, a, uh, a, uh, a duster coat. Yeah. You're jerking off into a jacket at least, right? I mean, you have to. You can't go there in shorts. You need a jerk off jacket. It's also like a premeditated horniness. Like you're like, I'm going to be horny at 2 p.m. tomorrow, that may.

That's why. You know what I mean? It's, it's the, you know, the criminal mind here. That's what's the worst part of it. Uh, is that you need to premeditation. Premeditate. premeditate your cum shot right it's just wild

yeah it's kind of bananas dude that that exists and I'm sure it exists in other states like there's more of them I I think for the show we need to start getting like collectors items in here to like be more like when people come we can be like that's the fucking jerk off bucket oh this is the fist that you know Joey got you know that remember the fist that popped out of the drawer I do remember that you know like we need to have more collectors items yeah I think think we need the dune popcorn bucket just so you can hump it you get i don't want to hump it

just so you can hump it i don't i would like a lot of popcorn though actually yeah keep the pussy give me the popcorn i just want some popcorn the sandworm butthole give me some fucking good old what's your favorite popcorn white cheddar really smart foods white cheddar insane popcorn god i want to punch you as fucking hard as i can that's mad good popcorn. Smart, smart food. Smart food. That's the company that makes it. Smart food.

It's not like a healthy version. It's just that's what the company's called. It's smart food for a reason. They're trying to be smart about their food. It's white cheddar popcorn. It's not good. I'm talking like Pop Secret. Or are you like an Orville Redenbacher?

I've had Orville Redenbocker like maybe twice in my life. By the way, fuck your name, dude. Yeah. The worst. You sound like a circus. Legitimately, yes. Yeah. I don't want that.

I want, you ready? Yeah. Pop Secret. Yep. Home style. What does that mean? It's just more salt. Okay.

And there's a little bit of butter. Uh-huh. And then I make my own brown butter at home. What's brown butter? You've never had brown butter. Is that just like burnt butter? Yes. Okay.

And you put it on the popcorn. Legitimate. Yeah. Hand job in a bowl. Oh, I like that. You know? I think that if you don't put butter on your popcorn, you don't deserve the popcorn

I don't do movie theater butter because that's not butter that's oil I don't know what that is I don't go for extra butter at that but the people that like go and like press the button

and like that shit comes down I don't do that I just get regular popcorn yeah yeah me too no popcorn was mad good do you remember like the Frito Lay popcorn bags when we were growing up

it was mad yellow the yellow yeah yeah yeah shit was fucking yellow and orange oh yeah yeah that shit was good who makes that I think it was Frito Leigh

okay you know it's funny i just had this conversation with danny and his brother like when i went out for danny's birthday we were talking about popcorn i don't know how it came up that's kind of crazy i'm not a kettle corn guy keep that shit i hate kettle corn keep that shit also cracker jacks i like them i like caramel i don't i do too but like no i just don't understand why they're like an american treasure cracker jacks i don't do that fucking they're trash is what they are i don't i don't fuck with them i wouldn't go with trash they're trash i i wouldn't go that far this is also where

the conversation went too because then we started talking about caramel apples and I'm like this is stupid you ever had one? No well there you go but like why wouldn't I eat an apple on a stick that's ridiculous but it's just with like a little bit of caramel on the outside also candy apples but it's like hard love them you have teeth I don't want to bite a fucking apple in a hard casing of sugar well no no no no listen you dumb bitch the fucking caramel is soft

Like it's not like you're going to bite it and crack your teeth Yeah I'm not saying The candied ones, the red ones You need a little oomph But you have working teeth And a fucking jaw that doesn't suck You can do it So then maybe I'm thinking of candied apples

That If you One second listen to what I just said I just said candy apples I know I'm fucking acknowledging that You fucking relax I used to get candy apples all the time They're mad game

Where do you even get that? I used to get them at late compounds and we would go. Oh, okay. So you can only get that in like a Halloween town. No, no, no. There's a candy store by us

that has them. I think that if you're... I'm bringing a candy apple. I don't want to eat it. You're fucking getting one. I'm not going to eat it. I'll throw it. No, if I cut you off a little piece.

All right. If you cut it off a little piece, I'll tap some. But I'm not, like, I think that if you're going to buy them, like, I'm not, like, this is a serious thought.

And I know it's going to come off as a joke, but this is something I actually feel. When I think of buying, like a candied apple, I always think that a woman dresses a witch is handing it over to her. Like it doesn't feel like Caledron bubble, double, and

yeah, she's got a prosthetic nose and she's got the whole thing on. Well, the witch is it's a real nose. Yeah. Oh, you're playing like it's an imaginary thing. No, this is, what do you, what? Big candy episode here. Wonka. Yeah, I love Wonka though. I just, I think that everything. Imagine going to a store with the entire thing

is fucking candy. Dude, I will. I will say that. When they're in that shop in the first movie and she like bites the little teacup, I'm like, yeah. I love that. Yes. And they bit a teacup in that movie. I don't know if you saw it. At the end, at the very end, yeah. I was like, yo, fuck yes. Yes. I would like an edible teacup.

Edible things that aren't supposed to be edible are cool to me. When we were kids, there was remember how like the scholastic book fairs and like the holiday shops that they would set up at our elementary school? Yeah, and I'm buying mad erasers. I remember Joey used to buy a ton of the pencil, like, what were they called pencil grips?

Yeah, like, it was like a little monster on the top of your pencil. Well, no, that was the pencil toppers. I'm talking about the grips that you'd put, like, about where you... Oh, and then it... Yo, I did like that. Wow, you could put, like, a little foam thing on your pencil, so it, like, makes your finger feel nice. Oh, the Asian kids had them. Yeah, they did.

And they had, like, ones that would, like, help them write better. Yeah, and it helped. And they were all excelling. They were all better. They were all better than us. Yeah. And by the way, this isn't inappropriate.

They were just better than we were. Yeah, I'm not. Okay, I just want to make sure I say that. No, no, no. The Asian kids, they had comfortable pencils and they did really well. Who wasn't that had a bit where they were just like,

is that racist? We're saying that they're better than us. I don't know. Yeah, I don't want to take their bit. It's their bit, not mine. But at one of those holiday shops, they had sold edible paper, and it was like a pen,

and it was like a spy thing, so you could, like, pass notes. and it was like food safe like marker so like you can like write it and give it to someone and they can eat it and it tasted like the fucking Eucharist I remember is very What have you had Eucharist? I've had Eucharist.

Have you? I used to lie about being Catholic. I, okay. So you came to church for me? There's other times I could have gone to church, not with you, Joe. But I'm asking have you ever been to church with me? I don't know if I've been to church with you. Maybe for like wakes and funerals and stuff like that.

But like when we were younger, my sister used to take me and her, we would go Sunday nights for a blip. Yeah. And I would always just say like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was hungry, man. Yeah, the Eucharist tasted like nothing. Literally nothing. I've had a good one, though.

I was at a church one time in the Long Island. And I think it was like a christening or something. And I got some host. It may not have been a christening. I don't know. And I got some of the Eucharist. And I was like, that's a good Eucharist. Really?

I mean, Jesus, is it going to kill you to just like? Put a little like, you know, rosemary and oil in there. Everything badel seasoning on it or something. You know what I mean? A little garlic in your body. A garlic. I like that.

We're not, we're very, well, first of all, we, not me. Yeah. It's a very easy thing, you know? A little spread. You know what I'm saying? Put a little fucking, like, uh, I'm just saying if I was giving my body and saying like the body of Christ or the body of Frank. I want it to be kind of delicious.

Garlic and herb or something. Like a little bit of a spread, you know? Like, you know how you do the Ash Wednesday with the thumb? Do that to the things, but just a little bit on the crack again. Not the going. Nothing crazy. Like, we don't need anything nuts. You know, sour cream and onion.

Right. Cool with that. Cheddar and sour cream. Some dust. Yes. That I like. Listen, Jesus. Who's making the decision?

You should be upset at the person that made your fucking body bland ass crackers. There's got to be. And also, isn't he like Middle Eastern, dude? Let's get some, like, let's get some spices in this thing. Tahini. Yeah. You know, there's some, there's definitely some fucking. This is not meant to be playing.

bread. Yeah. This has got to have some spices. Listen, a little smoke paprika and tahini goes a long way. Thank you. Paprika. Now we're talking about stuff. That's all I'm saying.

Like, you just need something in there. Like, if I, if the body, if I'm ingesting the body of Christ, I want it to be memorable from a taste. I want to, I want it to be so good that I'm dying to come back next week to get a little bit of more of Christ. Listen up, church. Your marketing is all fucking wrong here. Or just have some dips.

Like, maybe some people like a plain thing, but like, have a little. little dip next to when you give me the thing. The body of Christ, I'm like, amen. Ping, ping, pow, you know what I mean? Like, oh, oh, oh. Like, what if the blood of Christ is not just wine, but it's like a Zhu, you know, like a French dip style ju.

Oh, and then it's just like fucking bang and hellem. Yeah, you could do that. That would be sick, dude. Yeah, and I don't, is it white wine? I don't remember. No, the body, the blood of Christ is red wine. Yeah, but I don't, I don't know. I think they were giving us white back then.

Oh, then that's, that's, that's, they were just trying to, get you drunk and fucking. I'm just trying to get a finger your ass, dude. They were just trying to figure your butt, man. Also, I wonder what kind of wine they were drinking. Like, it was like good wine. Here comes wine, Joe. He goes back to church. He's like,

yeah, that's a monseigne. Who makes the wine? Is it holy people? Like, our priests out there? The holy vineyards? Are there any vineyard tours that go there? Is it like Napa Valley, but there's like a holy section of it? Yeah. Like for Christmas, You get us a nice little like, you know, like a Caymus or something.

Yeah. You know, like a nice one. The blood of Christ, you're just like, that's Kianti, bitch. Yeah, right? Like, I want to like, no. Yeah, I want to, I want to taste, you know, I want to see the legs on this bastard, too. Also kind of crazy that we're all drinking from the same cup. Germs.

I mean, I think COVID, COVID got rid of that. Yeah. And also, the guy wasn't really doing anything. People would drink from it. And then he would take a thing and just go, hmm. I'm like, yeah, you're just spreading around. You're just spreading it. Yeah, if anything, you're making it more seasoned.

Maybe that's what it was. No, it wasn't. You're tasting the seasoning. It's like a cast iron skillet, you know? Like you're tasting the food from like 10 fucking cooks ago. Oh, so you want to like get everyone. So like you're getting the holy... You're eating every old lady's lipstick.

You're getting the holy lips of like a fucking 90 year old woman and then like a, you know, a 20 year old kid. Yeah, that's just bananas to me. That's kind of wild. Also, I was able to... That was the first time I've ever sipped wine was in third grade at my communion. Damn. And I was like, yo, this is about to be fire. Like I'm about to be hammered.

And then I took a sip and I was like, this is disgusting. You know what story I was telling the other day? Becca was like, we were just kind of... Hold on, hold. Yep, yep. We have sponsors that we have to get to. Otherwise, we won't get to them. We do have our episode is sponsored by Squarespace.

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20% off, folks. Those are huge savings right there with liquid IV, all right? Enjoy. And you know, I got to piggyback off of Joey right here. I'm going to get right off of his back and right back onto this horse to tell you guys about patreon.com plus the basement yard. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't think you realize what you have helped us do. We as of today, as of recording, okay, are number seventh in the world.

On Patreon. Yeah. Period. That's everything on Patreon. Number seven, baby. Lucky. That's 10. We're seven for podcasts.

10. 10. 7 for podcasts. I'm sorry. Joey's going to go outside and he's going to give me a couple spanking. So whether you like that or not, I still need to tell you about patreon.com. So I said, you can get more of us. You can get more of us sooner.

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You're going to get bedbugs. Yeah. Like the households that we grew up and how like different they were. And Becca was like, I, she's like, as a kid, I had anxiety when I knew people around me were having alcohol. I'm like, really? She's like, yeah, like it would really, really bother me. And I was like, not us. And I remembered when we would be like in like second or third grade and we would do pizza parties,

do you remember we would sit there with like a cup of soda and a pretzel rod and pretend we were smoking cigars and the soda was beer? And we'd be like, oh, it's so junk. I don't think I've ever eaten a pretzel rod and not pretended it was a cigar. It's got to be. Like, to this day, if you give me a pretzel rod, it's a sucking the pretzel dust through the end of the fucking pretzel. Well, that's because Joey has a weird thing about sucking things through things that don't need to be sucked through. No, I like, I like with foods, like doing that. You're a freak with sucking.

No. You are. He's like, oh, honeycombs, I suck the milk through it. I'm not the only fucking person in the world who does that. It's like a oral fixation thing, maybe. What's the, what's the, like, phobia of, like, little small dots or something like that? Oh, it's a, it's a, I don't know. Joey doesn't have a phobia.

It's, like, a sexy thing for you. It's like a kink. You see it, and you want to suck things through it. Don't even lie. No. Don't even lie. No, no, no. When it comes to, like, a bunch of little things, I definitely want to, like, put my hand in it.

Oh, you're like a bowl of M&Ms, yeah, absolutely. Or, like, you ever see, you ever get a cough? Well, you don't drink coffee. But you ever see someone get a coffee and it's like, it's like a bunch of bubbles on top. If it wasn't scolding hot, a part of me is just like, yeah? I don't know what it is. Oh, you know what I do sometimes? When I meant, like, for instance, like if I have a liquid IV or whatever, like I'll throw it in and I'll start mixing it up.

And then there's like bubbles and stuff and I'll take the spoon and I'll scoop out the bubbles and throw it in the sink. What the hell is wrong with you? I don't know. This is weird. You have a weird thing about- You don't do that? No. You don't have like little things like that though that are like probably stupid. I do.

I have a lot of things that are really. really stupid, but I'm not going to... I'll scoop out the bubbles, and I throw them down. I wait until they come up naturally because then they're funny to talk about it. If I give them to you all at once, I'm shooting my wad prematurely all over you, and I don't want to do that. Okay, me neither. I don't want that.

I definitely don't want that, ew. Joey, I don't know if you saw, but our boy is back in the news. Good old Benny Shaps. We talked about Timmy Shouse. Benny Shaps. Yeah. Benny Shaps. Ben Shapiro.

He's a rapper now. He is now a rapper. Yeah. People were tagging us in it. and we saw it, we listened to it. He has a song. Now, listen, we're not going to get into the political messaging of the song because... I also didn't listen to the song.

There's some stuff in there that's not really kind. To whom? A lot of people. I mean, you can just read it yourself. But again, we're not going to get into it because we're not... I think you guys know who we are, where we stand on certain things. But when we hear Ben Shapiro, releases a rap song, you know we need to break that down.

Ben Shapiro rap song lyrics. And I think one of the last times you spoke about him was just... What fuck is Tom McDonald? That's the other guy that made the song. But like one of the last times you spoke about him... Tom McDonald? Yeah, right? My rap name Tom McDonald.

All McDonald. Last time, one of the last times you spoke about him is when he... Or the original time we spoke about him is when he... Yeah? First of all... What the fuck is happening here? He said, so can we just... Can I...

Are you doing the Shapiro verse or are we, doing. Yeah, but this also says Shapiro and Tom McDonald, so I don't know when he comes in. Well, Shapiro's on it, so, but again, Ben Shapiro rapping. Yeah. The first time we spoke in was with the Wop controversy. And that's in here. This, this wet-ass pussy. There might be something wrong if your pussy is that wet. Yeah. My wife told me, she's a doctor. Her pussy's never been wet.

Yeah. It's like, we knew that. We knew that, brother. He says in this rap song, the first thing is, let's look at the stats. I've got the fact. my money like Lizzo, my pockets are fat. Listen. Just like picture him saying that though. Look at the stats. I've got the facts. My money like Lizzo, my pockets are fat.

Yeah. And he was probably like, I'll fucking bars. But this flow reminded me so much of like when the rock hopped on. What was that song he hopped on? Where he was like, it's about drive. It's about power.

Oh yeah. It's the power. It's just like it's so like motivational rap. It was a tech nine song. Okay. respect to Mr. Nine and the rock because I love the rock

but like yeah I don't know about all that that shit was like a fort minor song that's right? 10% look 20% it's like it's about motivation it's about it's about motivation and getting after it and being the best

and working hard waking up early then earlier yeah and he's just like Iron Lion and it's just like yeah chill out but okay Lizzo just catching astray here yeah it's crazy my money like Lizzo my pockets are kind of I have to admit

it's funny kind of a bar then he says homie I'm epic don't be a whap don't be a wet ass pussy or like or is he saying like wop

yikes is that I don't think I think that's WOP oh I think oh that what does it spell this

WAP yeah Wap okay because I was like is he going after Italians right damn he's going to

right everyone's catching astray in this right this is the most hood shit he's ever done it's just dissing every possible person he can he said homie i'm epic don't be a wop oh don't be a wap dog it's a yarmika homie no cap wait what that's what he said dog it's a yamika homie no cap yeah i heard this song

didn't hear it to the point where i would remember that he's that's kind of fire dude look at he wears his yamaca all the time yeah you know sometimes was hair so black that sometimes i don't think he's wearing it bro i swear to god i can't tell it all the time I see it sometimes and I'm like, oh, I forget that he's wearing that thing. Well, it's hard for you to tell being 5'4. That's enough. Look at the graphs. Look at my charts.

You're blowing money on strippers and cars. Well, he just, I mean, yeah. You're going to prison. I'm on television. Dog, no one knows who you are. Who is this about? Yeah, who's this disc track to? It sounds like, so Lizzo is getting the first disc.

Yeah, she got a shot at. And then don't be a wop. So that's a disc. I think, yeah, my grandfather, I think. Oh, Jesus Christ, too. That's a distant Cardi B and Megan, the stallion. Meg the Stallion, yeah.

He's just, he's going after. Dog, it's a Yamika, homie, no cap. That's fire. I got to admit, I can't even front. Listen, Benny Shaps, this guy is kind of spitting here. Keep hating on me on the internet. My comics, comic. My comment section's all woke Karens,

and I make racks, I make racks off a compound interest. Now we're not... All right. Now hold on. Now we're not rhyming anymore. First of all, don't flaunt that you have woke errands just like poked for you. I make racks off a compound interest is the nerdiest thing you could possibly say in a restaurant. I mean, what did he say before? Like, Al, you're doing strippers and...

You're blowing money on strippers and cars. You're blowing money on strippers and cars. You're going to prison. I'm on television. Is he? Is he? I don't think he's on television. Wait a sec.

Is he on television? Like Newsmax, maybe? Or like the Holy Ghosts? channel? No, they're the holy channel. There's like, there's like holy channels. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is he on television? I think that he has his own like network or whatever, but I don't know that it's television. What's it called? What's Ben Shapiro's

network called again? Uh, fuck. I don't know. Something. Ben Shapiro network. Ben Shapiro network. It's like the, not the wire. That's a great show though. You guys should go watch the wire. Yeah, that is a really network. It's something like that. The Daily Daily wire, daily wire. Dude, look at me.

I guess, man. I don't see anything. I see YouTube. Yeah. I see. I mean, guys are an entrepreneur. Who's this about?

Uh-oh. Who's catching it? Oh, bro. Nikki Minaj, he went after her. He went directly after Nikki? He said, keep on hating me on the internet. My comment section is all well,

Cairns, and I make racks off a compound interest. Y'all live with your parents. Well, bought a house for their parents and then they can live with them but number one. Nikki takes some notes. I just did this for fun.

All my people download this. Let's get a billboard number one. What after fucking, yo, Nikki Minaj, better come out with some crazy shit. Well, she's got some stuff going on right now.

Yeah, she was like, she's like beefing with Megastalian. Really? Yeah, they were getting out of each other. What were they doing? I don't know,

but apparently Nikki Minaj's husband is like a, he was like a, like a, careful. He got arrested for some stuff. For some things, yeah. For some things that, like are not cool.

Yeah. So then Magdalian was like bringing that up. Yeah, well, okay. Which is like fair, I guess. I'm going to ask a serious question right here. Yeah. I need you to be a thousand percent. Okay.

Let's put on our rap hats for a sec. Okay. Okay. One, two. Is it worse if she does or doesn't respond to him? You got to throw him a line. You got to throw, what do you say? I don't know.

It's Ben Shapiro. You can say literally anything. There's so much. to make fun of. I mean, you could talk about his wife's dry-up vagina. Could. You could talk about... He already took care of that.

Yeah. He didn't even realize how bad he, like, set himself up for that one. That-da-da-da-da-da-a-da. I got the facts. This is the chorus of the song. This ain't rap. It literally is. I think actually it is.

Literally is. This ain't rap. This ain't money, cars, and clothes. We ain't selling drugs. We ain't gonna overdose. Yikes. But, okay. We ain't pushing guns and promoting

stripper pulls, we won't turn your sons into thugs or your daughters into hose. Uh-oh, this is a little problematic, but okay. We won't turn your sons into thugs or your daughters into hose. Something about this is hilarious to me, though. Yeah, because they're white people. But also, I just like, the dude Tom McDonald is like just like a tatted up white dude. Tom McDonald, it doesn't get more white than that. Like, look at him.

He's a very tatted up white dude. Yeah Weird looking fellow He's only 35 Dude don't Wait he's Canadian That makes this even funny Whoa wait a sec

Is he Canadian Bro apparently Canada is like Down for Trump dude They are We were talking to our videographer Mike yeah he's a Canadian He's from British Columbia Yeah see

Why is he what is this Is that in the country This is not I'm not allowing this to happen I absolutely not If you're gonna be a piece of shit I don't know If this guy's piece of shit

His rap doesn't make him Doesn't do him any justice Being an American piece of shit You know what I'm saying? Yeah like you know Have some skin in the game here But you're Canadian I think too highly of Canadians

Now after working so closely with Mikey And like Yeah he's the best I can't I can't allow this to go on It's pretty funny though I mean but yeah All of his songs are about like

These are the names Fake woke The System Your America American flags Race War Like these are all names And it's like bro You're from Canada though

What Mike, when we, I was asking Mikey one day, I was like, is there like, how bad is he got up there? He's like, oh, there are people in Canada that fly Trump 2024 flags. And I'm like, they realize that does nothing. Yeah, that's like me putting up like, I couldn't name a little another world leader. I don't know why I even started that. Yeah, that's like if I stood ground on like an Australian prime minister, like, yeah, what is that? You know what I mean?

Also, why do we have a president and they have a prime minister? I kind of want a prime minister. That sounds cool. I have to admit that does sound way cooler than president. Yeah. And everyone else has like a prime minister. minister, right? I don't know. Probably not. But like immediately I think... I think Brazil has a president.

Brazil? I'm pretty sure they have a president. What do they got down there? Brazilian food. Buts. They got butts. They got butts. They have carnival.

Yes. Yeah, they got carnival. Yes. They have birds. They have birds. Yeah, it's like a tropical rainforests down there. Oh. They got butts.

Coffee. Coffee? Coffee? The biggest exporter of coffee in the world. Bigger than Columbia? Yeah. Wow. Yeah?

That's how you trick everyone. That's a little fucking trivia question for you. Everyone says Colombia. Now I'm better off, Joey. Fucking thank you. Yeah, it'll come in handy one day, bitch. So is it worse if you respond to Ben Shapiro or if you don't respond? Do you let him just kind of do his thing?

Like, he didn't go after, like, he didn't go after too hard. You know what I mean? He went after Lizzo and Nikki, bro. You guys got to say something. I mean, Lizzo, she's done, dude. Yo, Lizzo would beat the shit out of him. With such, he's crazy, dude. With such ease, dude.

Yeah, yeah. She picked the shit out of me, probably, honestly. Oh, 100%. She's got that flute, just, pah. I don't even think. She just might just, she might just. You ever see her play the flute? Yeah, she was tearing up.

She was tearing it up with James Madison's flute. Remember that? People were all pissed about that, and they were just like, don't you dare. That's an American flute. I don't get why people care about, like, it's a windist. dude that's what I mean like it's like oh you see this this is George Washington's teeth and you're

like why that why would I care about that I don't like yeah I'm I like I think it's interesting to see really old stuff but we're keeping his teeth like I think that's the only thing we have no we have a ton of shit we have like the shit that he wore and like I think it's just crazy because it was in his mouth you know yeah and it was disgusting if you guys haven't watched uh the the what's his name, the Shane Gillis bit online, on Netflix. Yeah. Go watch it. He fucking, the stuff he does in George Washington is

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I, you thought we were going to jump over this, but we're not fucking jumping over this because before we started, Frank just starts reading some headlines, and then he finds one, he's like, oh, there's this place, it's called a diaper spa in New Hampshire, And I was like, and then he tried to go to the next thing.

I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What is that? What's the diaper spa? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I should probably pull it up before I completely butcher this. I'll butcher it. It's a place, because we talked about it briefly, it's a place in New Hampshire that you can go to. And the place is like, it's like a fucking child's room.

So it's in New Hampshire, it's called a diaper spa. And they pride themselves on being a place where you can laugh, love and play all the time. The space is decorated and look like a baby's nursery, complete with small beds, toys, and folded diapers from their website. Services include ABDL, which naturally stands for. Attention back. I don't know.

Close. Adult baby slash diaper. Adult baby slash diaper lover. Adult baby. Adult baby slash diaper lover, nursery spa care, therapeutic support and life coaching. and a 24-hour stay called the diaper B&B. All clients are required to wear adult diapers.

Required? Yeah. Why required? The owner of the spa, Colleen Ann Murphy, is a licensed medical doctor. Not for long. Who is starting the business with the best intentions. The intent is to shit your pants, dude. Yeah, like, I feel like...

So here's the thing. If you have a kink or... I don't want to say that. But if you have something in your head that's like, you know, sometimes I just want to take, you know, an early lunch, go home and act like a baby and wear a diaper and suck on a pacifier. Do your thing. Do it.

I think you should do it. Go crazy. But it helps people process whatever trauma it was, Murphy said, of ABDL and her spa to a website. A lot of times it's childhood trauma when they were in diapers or just getting out of diapers and they want to feel the safety that they had before that. But are they crap in the diapers, though?

What safety? Let me be very clear about something. I'm not... I just want to say... Believe it or not, we're not doctors. I just want to say, sympathetic towards... If something happened and there's trauma. Obviously.

But the thing that I can't get past... Is how is shitting your pants helping you get over trauma? Oh, no. But... Oh, I feel like a baby again. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, like... Why is it required?

Like you should be like if you want to like go and be like I just would like to you know Because whatever I'd like to sleep in a crib for a night weird but you know what? Fine okay you know some some white people like to hollow out a school bus and live in it okay It's not that crazy you guys are nuts for that yeah I actually that does sound interesting to me But like oh here comes school bus Joe 2028 so like whatever there's people do whatever you want to do The fact though that it's required that you wear a diaper makes me believe that a lot of people have started shit in Absolutely insane. Absolutely insane.

Just because, like, they're saying, like, it's a sense of, like, comfort. No way they ain't. It is by definition, the opposite of comfy. Because kids cry. They don't like it. For many reasons. One, a lot of bacteria. You'll get fucking rashes.

Two, do you think I, first of all, don't want to shit my pants. As humans, we actively avoid doing that every single day. I would do it. Stop. I would do it just for like, for, because I, because I could say it that I did it. Like, I went to this place. I slept in a crib and I absolutely ripped one in my diaper. Dude, I don't think, I don't think you'd be able to.

I'd be scared. Your body would tense up. And does it have a blowout back door? What's that called? Oh, like those like flaps? No, no, no. What's the called like the back, the blowout? The blowout support.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The blowout preventer or something like that. It's called a blowout? It's literally what it called. Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, does it have that? I hope. Yeah.

I mean, what are you doing in your pants, dude? Taking a big crap, I don't know. Like, I would save a big crap. I would send you there. I would feed you like... Should we go? Should we go take a crap in New Hampshire? We is a strong thing.

We should not go. You are more than welcome. Let's go to New Hampshire. We'll stay in a crib. I don't want to revert back to when I was a fucking infant and I was crapping my pants. Would you piss in one? Bro, I piss in my. pants sometimes.

I'll fucking, I don't care. I'll piss it. Like, you know, I will say. Didn't you pee on an episode of the Patreon? Didn't you pee in a diaper? That's not either here nor there. I think you did. So listen, I don't know if I could physically crap in a diaper.

It was when we were at your old place. I do remember that. And I think I wore a diaper for a day. You wore a diaper and I think you diddled in it. I didn't shit in it. Pee-pee. I pissed in it. Great.

It was for the experience. I was trying to experience. Can I seriously? Yes. Because I hope you're not like these type of people where it's like you need to experience everything at least once. Why in your, like what unfulfillment do you have that you need to fill it with piss? Peeing your pants.

It's not about that. I think the reason why we did that, why did we do that? I think it was like we had talked to someone on OPL about that like that does the baby thing. and then it just became like funny of like, oh, you should wear a diaper for a day and let me know how it is. And it's not, it could be worse. Like, I'm not going to lie. You didn't shit it though. Absolutely not.

Yeah, well, that's a thing. It's like, I don't know if I could actually piss, actually shit in a diaper. Like my body might not let me, but I could definitely piss in one like immediately. Yeah, no, Pee, I could let it fly wherever whenever, you know, like Shakira, wherever, wherever we're meant to be together. Right. And we, I mean, piss and my pants. Yeah, exactly. How many pisses do you think a diaper can hold, though?

I mean, well, I have kids in diapers, so. If they fill up, like, do they ever like, my piss? No, bro. I'm saying, like, baby piss? No. What are we saying here? Who's piss? Have you ever pulled a diaper off for one of your kids and been like, you pissed in this 100 times?

Bro, yes. There are some mornings where Mave wakes up, and it's like, Like, I'm holding like a wet paper towel in my hand. That's so not cool. It's so wet. It's not chill at all. It's not chill. Maybe be more chill.

Stop doing piss. Stop doing so much piss. Do a little bit of piss. But that's the thing is like, when I piss, I piss a lot. You take big pisses? At least a pint. That's not a lot. Is it?

But I'm saying at least, all right, two pints. Wow. Three? No, no. I don't know. I don't know how much I pissed. But what I'm saying is like, We should test this out.

Who takes bigger pisses? Who takes bigger pisses? I got to pee. As I said the word piss, I got to pee. I can convince myself to piss. Yeah. Like that. Yeah, yeah.

If I stand in front of a urinal, I'll just pee. Really? Yeah, there's been times where I, like, I just go to the bathroom. For comfort. Because I just want to, I don't even have to piss. I just don't want to sit out there by myself. I can't see myself understanding why people would go to this. place.

I mean, there's some trauma there and they have like an, they have like an attachment to these things. I fully fully fully fully. I agree though, crapping in a diaper, I don't know if that's helping anything. I fully support people, you know, whatever they feel they need to do to, you know, solve their trauma. Without poop. But, dude. But, but, but if you find that the only thing that helps your trauma is crapping in your pants, world of question on my end.

And it's not just exclusive to those who want to crap their own pants, because there are people out there that are like, I am not going to be fulfilled unless you crap on me. I'd like to be crapped upon. Can't bring that up right now. People have been crapped upon. I know, but it's in the news about crapping on people right now. Oh, yeah, Vince McMahon, shit on his head.

Don't, we can't, we should not talk about that, especially in a weekly episode. I'm just saying, that's a crazy thing. I'm not like on his side. What do you mean? I'm just saying, you know, it's crazy. I know. You fucking.

Absolutely. That was the first thing I saw. I was like, I think I'm good on reading all of this. Because guys are sick fuck. Yeah. Well, don't get me started. But I just, I think for science, I think you should go. You want me to go there?

I think you should. I think you should spend a night, you know, make sure you load up on crap like foods. You know. Cheeses. Anything your body. ingests you'll crap your pants that's how eating works Frank well no but like

you're you're always texting us saying like my body just turn that into water quick I said that one time like 10 years ago and Frankie hasn't let me live it down it's unbelievable I mean it's what happened no so I'm thinking have a gyro bottle of wine

what the hell have a gyro and a bottle of wine and then go spend a night in the crap In the crap spa. What is it called? The diaper spa. I like that it's required. Actually, no, I don't.

I'm confused that it's required, but I think that's cool. That, like, you would walk in this place. Who changes you? Oh! Oh, maybe you change yourself. Way worse, dude. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

Because at least if you're giving it a space to fall out, it's not like getting smushed around your butt. Now you have a butt, a smushed butt poop. A poop smushed butt. A butt of poop. Stop. Fucking stop. Fuck.

This kid. Every combination of the words he wants to fucking muse. But no. Buts moosh. But smooosh. They said a butt smooch. Smooch and butts. I mean, it's crazy, man.

It's a New Hampshire. That's way worse, dude. Shout to New Hampshire, man. I don't know what's going on over there. I've never even, like, been. I've been there once or twice. For whom? I had a friend that lived in New Hampshire.

Hampshire briefly we went to like party to his house one weekend uh in college i've been to vermont and that just feels like new hampshire have you been anywhere with trees vermont there you go you've been in new hampshire yeah that's what i mean yeah yeah yeah like i imagine all those states kind of look at it and the stupidest shapes also like don't be shaped like that's the worst shaped state i don't like shapes i don't like states that have like i guess like colorado is like just a square also Oklahoma? What is that little thing? The little, it's so, that's so, you know that's so petty of them. Who lives there?

I don't like like fucking, like, Michigan being like here and here. Here we are. Oh, yeah, it's got, I don't like that. But like, yeah, Oklahoma, like, that's actually kind of cool. If you live in like the little skinny part of Oklahoma, you'd be like, yeah, I live right there in a little fucking, I don't like that. This thing. In the gun.

Yeah. In the weaner of Oklahoma. Yeah. I don't like that. I don't know. It's weird. How the hell did they draw the line? lines for states.

It makes no sense. And then how do they take those lines and put them on a map? What does that mean? Like how do they know the lines they drew are actually what's on a map? Maps are crazy, dude. Maps are fucking wild. I can't get into maps today. I'm not ready for maps.

It is interesting, actually, to be like, I guess it's all, I don't know. Who made the first map? Like, that's crazy. How did you do that? To make the first map. I can't do maps. I'm not ready. How did you see the whole United States, dude?

I'm not... The first person who made a map? I don't have the physical ability today to do maps. I can't. I can't. Because the more I think about maps, I get freaked out. Bro, you want to hear something crazy about maps? Lewis and Clark, dude?

Yeah, those guys are bananas. Get the fuck out of here. Uh, you know what's crazy? Treasure maps. Because treasure maps are like, it's literally just dashes and then like a picture of a, of a, like an interesting tree that you know you're on the... And then people find the treasure. Like, how does that happen?

I don't know, dude. I don't know. Maps are fucking insane to me. I can get where it's just like, go do south. They're British, the pirates in my head, by the other. Of course, I mean. Go do south.

And if you see a red barn, you've gone too far. And then it's like, okay, I can kind of get that because you're using landmarks. But like, back with pirates, they had, guess what? Water. Bro. It's kind of crazy. No, like nothing else. Also, how do you bury something and then find it?

Yeah, no. See, I told you. Or someone else finds it. I can't do, I can't do maps today. I don't have the capacity for maps today. He's done with maps. I can't. He can't do it too much for Frankies.

And globes, dude? Globes, dude? Yeah, that's just. When they're like ribbed and shit? Ribbed. When they're like, like, hold. Oh, it's got like, morning, you know? I don't.

I can't. Not right. Not today. At least not today. Another episode, but I can't today. I just realized that you were talking about Ben Shapiro and you have your fucking nails painted. Yeah, he's going to be pissed when he sees that.

He's going to be like, who the fuck is that? He's going to be really angry. I got a young daughter. That's what I got, bitch. What are you going to say? If Benny Schaps, this is me, I'm calling 50 cent and Eminem, and I'm saying, I don't give a fuck.

I'll pay the whole fee out of pocket. Get me in the studio. Oh, you want to make a song? He's getting the hardest disc track. I'll ever come up with. Yeah. If the Shaps comes for me, that would be so funny, dude.

And Ben Shapiro was like, who are these two fucking cucks? Let me guess. Harder libtards. Harder libs. Fingers painted. That checks out. That checks out.

All right. That would be so sick. He kind of looks like the dummy from goosebumps. He looks like a puppet. Right? Like a French twas. look like, yes, yes he does. Okay, at least we're back to shaming him for his physical looks.

He knows that. He knows that. He knows that. Good, good, good. Yeah, anyway. He's also very rich, by the way. He's what? Very rich.

He's got a couple bucks. Yeah, a couple dollars. Yeah. Because his pockets are fat like Lizzo. Do you know what would be hilarious? What? If we, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

His pockets are Lizzo fat. You know what's crazy? I think that if we debated him, there's no way he could win. because we'd be so stupid. Yeah, that he would not know how to answer. His Yonka would catch on fire from the capacity at which his brain would need to operate to deal with our stupidity.

I don't even think two people can be this stupid. Yeah. It would be, you know, that's how we're going to, that's how you start up the engine right there. Yeah. Listen, listen, we weren't able to get on new heights. Right. We may reach out again. We may figure out.

We're going to reach out to them again. Yeah, may figure out a way to get many shafts. Benny Shaps. Anyway, that's all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you? You could find me in the booth, spitting a couple rounds. A couple of bars.

A couple of 16s, you know. F. Alvers 885 on Twitter, the Frank Alras and all the forms of social media. Like I said, go check out the basemanyard.com or you get links to our Patreon or just go straight to patreon.com. Get links to our merch. Get links to sign up for a newsletter so you can find out about upcoming shows. It's all there.

And then TikTok, everything. That's where the basement yard is. social media site except for Zanga and like 4chan i guess basic mn yards on it so check it out yeah forechan um yeah go follow me at joe sanagato and like frank said go follow the show uh at the basemior on ticot and instagram and that is all see you guys next time yeah bye