The Basement Yard - #439 - The Brand Wars

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

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Welcome back to the basement yard. What the hell are you doing Frank? First of all, I'm congested because I've been crying so much. I'm in mourning, so just talk really quick. Why are you in mourning? Oh, singing Creed is not how you pray. I'm pretty sure that if I'm gonna start praying, I'm gonna use some Creed in there, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's not how you do it. Not at all? There's specific ways to pray.

That doesn't seem... Actually, maybe not. I don't know. I don't like that. But I think you have to write a letter. If I'm gonna pray, if I'm gonna have a conversation with God, That's fair. It should be within the parameters of whatever the hell I want.

Like, don't tell me it needs to be like, you have to pray this way. But you have to like, at least say like, dear God, and then you have to end it with amen. And then you can sing your creed in the middle of it. What the fuck do you want to do? Like, dear God. Dear God, with arms wide open.

Oh, God, that's fun. Oh, lie. And then amen. Amen. Or amen. Yeah, it wouldn't be very Christian or Catholic-like if they're going to just confine me to strict things I can and can't do. You got to amen or amen, which I don't know the difference.

I had to mourn. I've been crying so hard. And you know, just I had to get it out there. Because of our boy? I'm kidding. First of all, I'm a little congesty-testy, you know what I mean? I can hear it. Daddy's a little backed up up here. I'm kidding. First of all, I'm a little congesty-testy. You know what I mean? I can hear it. That daddy's a little backed up up here up here. Yeah. Yeah backed up down there. Everything's okay Are you backed up down there?

No, regularly pooping. I'm I'm doing I'm doing well. Well now that we know that about you. Yeah You asked. I don't know why you asked by the way. I gotta say love the outfit. Do you yeah, seriously? I'm all about it. Thanks. I haven't worn a red shirt in a while, I feel like. Don't you like that when you wear a color you don't normally wear and you're just like, wait a sec. I do like that. I'm kind of a bit of a fucking red guy, you know what I'm saying?

Am I gonna fashion East to all of a sudden? Yeah. Because I'm wearing red. I wore a yellow shirt one time and I went, this is a new color and then I went, I don't love it. Really? Yeah, I don't know that. I don't think that yellow is my color.

It makes me look like I have like- Red works, I would say red works. Blue also works on you. I like when I don't love it. Really? Yeah, I don't know that. I don't think that yellow is my color. It makes me look like I have like red works. I will say red works. Blue, blue also works on you. I like when I wear a green. I was gonna say, I don't wear enough green. I don't wearing the hat right now. Yeah, I like when I wear a green.

But I feel like I need more green. And just like blue. Like when is the last time you wore blue? Blue. Like a shirt blue? Yeah. I wear blue. But like blue. What kind of blue you talking about? Navy blue? I wear blue but like blue what kind of blue you

talking about Navy blue talking like fucking bull top of that bottle water blue water blue ocean blue yeah Pacific blue cerulean um not often I don't have it feels like a childish color but you got to work it in somehow I feel like like regular like colors are like out now. People wear like pastels more and like earth tones though. They're dressed like they're like part like they're made of rocks or something. Yeah, I don't like that. Or like they work in a garden or something. I don't like that. Yeah, if you're gonna like let's let's bring back colors. Let's bring colors back Joey. Yeah, I think that's something that we can, is the basement boys. Yeah, we can do

going into the spring in the summer. No more pastels Right, no more earth tones. Let's bring a vibrant green back some neon fucking like why does green need to be just held Entirely to st. Patrick's day. Can we have it back for like the rest of the year? I feel like green had a big year to be honest did it like Kelly green was like a very popular color What's those that it's like super it's like similar to that color. There's a green screen over there But it's like less fucking but I want like I want to bring that back like I want to bring like Fucking punchy in the bud green like you walk down the street. You're like, I can't even see you're so bright I kind of say with red. I feel like that red is really working. This is red as shit

That's very red devil red devil's pussy red. Well, well, no, I got excited double got a pussy or a cock It depends how how you're talking to him devils got a dick I said him though the Bible says him so maybe they if we're going strictly by what the Bible is saying I'm sure you almost sang a kid rock songs now if you're going share with the public about the bank today If we're going by the Bible, yeah, I think that like he they say him. He's a guy Well, who knows the root of all evil is men Maybe I would say well woman made a man

So maybe she if she didn't exist but who made the woman Another woman who you're really starting to really get into it, huh? But a woman is like chicken and the egg egg but a woman has to make the man. Yeah but a woman can't make a man without a man. That's true too and the man puts the thing in the woman and the woman's just a victim in that case. Well we're gonna get into it. Well not like scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary I'm not like scary, scary. It's not what I mean. I mean, she's just standing there like I have eggs, but she can't just make a person. The man makes the man. Yeah, we're talking just general health science here.

Yeah, yeah. But I'm saying if we had to root it back, so then it is a man, because he's the one who starts the whole process of this shit. I mean, but the process wouldn't be starting. You could sit there and argue either way. I would say because the world has been predominantly built off of men and every, you know, facet of our society has been constructed for and by men, then

maybe there is one of those things that are a little, you know, more prevalent. Shout out to men, dude. Speaking of, the reason I'm mourning and so can Jesse Tessie. Speaking of men, we lost our boy. Oh yeah,, our boy our boy bill post bill. What's his name Billy will post I don't know bill post the founder of Pop-tarts has died and founder the creator Oh the creator of the pop tart died and I gotta be honest you this is the first time I've seen a picture of this Joker Exactly looks just like someone who would make a pop. He looks like a pop tart guy He looks like like someone who would make a pop. He looks like a pop tart guy. He looks like an inventor of

Something he looks like he just kind of like stumbled into doing something and he was just like I Am God now, you know what he kind of reminds me of and I don't mean to speak like this on the dead And I'm not saying this is insulting, but he does kind of be very insulting folks It looks like he's like a bird, but you press them up against glass there. It is that's exactly But it feels like that. He's a a very rich man he made the pop tarts was he was he rich was he rich he made pop tarts I don't know dude horsey maybe fucking made pop tarts look at other people that have made stuff they don't end up becoming rich because of it look at Bill Finger but you don't know about that motherfucker do you what did he invent Batman Bill Finger Bob is the

man who invented Batman so it was Bob Kane. Bill Finger? Is the man who invented Batman. So it was Bob Kane and Bill Finger. Oh, but this is gonna turn into a whole thing. I don't want to even hear it. But then Bob Kane was like, no, no, no, I did it all by myself and Bill Finger like died in squalor. Bill Finger is a ridiculous name.

That's a porno name. Bob Kane? Bob Kane. Also kind of ridiculous. Kane's fingers, what's going on here? There's a lot, but. What was his name? William Post. Bill Post? Billy here? There's a lot, but what was his name William post bill post Billy P Frank you don't get to call him that I could get where we're basically so listen over as Joey's look at this up over

The last couple of episodes we have been a Little critical of Pop Tarts wait what is happening? I Typed in William post Into the thing and and his William Post is the name of the guy Bill also. Yeah is the name of the guy who whatever but in the corner There's like Wikipedia. Yeah, and it says William Post William Bud Post was the winner of the Pennsylvania lottery jackpot worth 16.2 million shortly afterward his brother tried to have him murdered for the inheritance

Could be could be the same yo it's a bad day to be a Bill post. Guys winning all money, getting killed by people, and then this guy's dying from being an old bag. Different Bill posts, I assume. Different Bill posts. OK, I was a little confused there. Yeah. But we've been at odds with Pop Tarts lately,

because we have felt that they left us high and dry. They met us out at the club took us home for a good 40 minutes of fun And then afterward they didn't call back. Oh, I was like what one night stand Joey. I'm a yeah That's what I was 40 minutes. Good for you. I'm gonna say you want me to make it more your speed You're fucking six minutes First of all, we've been on record you saying like oh, oh fucking I will say that it doesn't matter how long Can we can we can we can we as long as we're gonna rewrite history to be fun as long as like the job gets done like you're not paid by the hour you're paid

by the job I agree I agree if you can get it done both ways in ten minutes yeah four minutes I'm saying forty 45 minutes a long time I think that you're doing okay for yourself what happened to work smarter not harder you're out there fucking exactly exactly what happened you're shutting down two lanes of traffic just to get one job done like what are we doing as long as as long as and don't we hate when jobs take too long yours like yo they've been built in this highway for a fucking four years. What if they built it in four minutes?

Exactly. Wouldn't you be really excited about that? You'd be pretty pumped. If you got your fucking rocks off and a brand new highway, at the drop of a dime. Oh. You know what I'm saying? Yo, how much do you, this is like completely,

not completely off, but like, how much do you love when you're driving and all of a sudden you're like this is a brand new street oh I love you're like oh my god it's still like black but then I get hard it's like nice paint you're like oh it's so new but then I get pissed when I'm driving your tires when I'm driving and I go over that and then I go over the old one it's like to to yeah I don't like that yeah I don't like that shit I don't like that don't fucking cock tease me with new asphalt and not

deliver they eventually you're gonna hit some old rickety street you're like this fucking neighborhood sucks but then you hit that fresh street oh that's like your tires it's like it's so like the car feels more aerodynamic. Yes, yes. Uhhh. Like that's your tires, dude. No, for real, like it's nice. I love a new street.

I love it. I did not expect to be so turned on by like, new roads. Dude. Like, new- Fucking love it. Like, when, when, when like, there is like new clean roads or paint a paint also But also also I

Kind of fuck with cobblestone when you're over it. It's like It's like playing a beat on your fucking bot. Are you talking about driving over? Yeah? Yeah, I don't mind driving But like slow walking on it though. It's like what are we doing? I feel like a fucking like a charlatan. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't like that shit. I don't know if you know the definition of that word clearly You know you know what I mean guys but walking on like cobblestone is Like what I imagine it looks like you know and you sometimes you see a really drunk girl And she's wearing high heels that are Probably a little bit too high and she's never worn them before and she's probably a little inebriated

And she's given it one of these yep. Yep. That's how I feel on cobblestone. I'm like I'm gonna catch an ankle and go down here Yeah, no you can't you can't walk on cobblestone and not look annihilated. Yeah, especially especially because like on this side of What if like a stone is like this on this side? You're down here, then you're up here, and then you're down here, and they're not and they're all misshapen There's no I don't like that. It's part of the appeal. I guess but like don't care back I do want to hear horses walk around. I like that that I'm telling you right now one of my favorite sounds if I hear that like I Love it on fucking cobblestone. I do love it. I've never ridden a horse in a long time. That's not how you say that.

I've never ridden a horse in a long time. Technically. Technically I'm not wrong. That was a D minus. So technically, technically I'm not wrong. I've never ridden a horse in a long time. Have you ridden a horse? Yeah. But not in a long time. So I've never ridden one in a really long time. Well, I'm not going to go into semantics, but that is incorrect.

I think it works here. Wrong. But what you like an actual like full horse or like a pony. Are you out here riding different species of horse? A pony is not a horse. A pony is like a fucking horse. A horse or a pony. Pony. Pony.

I haven't ridden a horse. We rode ponies together. In pre-k. We were pony boys. We were pony boys. Yeah. Or was that? It was a pony.

It was a birthday party for someone No, it was a field trip. I remember we wrote it There was a there was a girl in our class whose birthday party we went to I believe she had horseback riding Who I'll let it fly don't don't give me a first name I'm gonna just give you a hint owl Owl yeah, oh, yeah got it got it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Got it. Got it. Yeah. Yeah I'm pretty sure we went to her birthday party It was like out of ranch and we like rode horses and I think that's the last It's lived in the same neighborhood as us and she had horses at her shit

I think it was the party was elsewhere Joey still that's expensive stuff. I mean back in the 90s No one fucking cared about price Like you want to ride a horse give us a hundred bucks and show up with as many people as you want I guess they didn't give a fuck one time. I almost I almost Rented out I see why Pia made a I remember for petties you and I looked up I could I could rent a camel for rides and it was like not even a thousand dollars I remember you looking that up because you wanted to do it for Keith's birthday. This is like his 30th birthday I think I mean it was like his 31st birthday. Whatever it was.

Like a stupid birthday. I remember you saying, because I remember you very clearly astonished at how much it was to get a camel. Yeah. I was like, there's no way it's only this much money to get a camel to drive up. The guy had it in like Virginia and was gonna drive it up to these baseball fields.

It would have been sick. It would have been fire. We've been at odds with Pop Tarts because they left us high and dry. to these baseball fields. They're different. They're different. They're different. Fire. We've been at odds with Pop Tarts because they left us high and dry. And we said, listen, we didn't get an invite to the Pop Tart Bowl.

Pop Tart Bowl. Where have you guys been? Taco Bell was waiting in the wings for their chance to come on here and be. You know what? I feel like you by yourself have decided that you're going to push this Taco Bell thing. I'm not pushing anything.

I'm just kind of just stating facts here. This is a third episode. But the reason, the reason Pop-Tarts has been a little distant. Probably. They were going through some hardship. Yeah, they lost the guy. The founder of Pop-Tarts is gone.

Bill Poe. And now how are we, as Pop-Tart efficient autos, supposed to react? Well, here's the thing, Frank. The head honcho goes down. Somebody's got to step up. Oh, someone's got to step up. And if Pop Tarts, I'm not saying actually do this, but I'm just saying it would be a

cool campaign. If you let the two basement boys run the company for half a day. Half a day and we come up with 10 flavors I Was more thinking of like five flavors I was just thinking like like a cool like we go there and like cut a ribbon or something just like hear me out pop tarts We have such great ideas. By the way, these are all trademarked so you can't take them and if you do you get sued Now you don't we would start a campaign suit

No, you don't we would start a campaign Bring back pop tarts to the forefront where they deserve to be of pop culture Okay, pop poll pop culture pop tarts right we're gonna synergy here. All right, awesome business Joe over here by the way How are you CEO power Joe? And you know what we'll bring Greg in okay he could be ideas guy Greg yeah because but that's what pop tarts don't have ideas cheese and that we get I mean there's got to be something in there that's cheesy you know no milk or something I don't know I don't know I'm like milk's not cheese what am I saying milk is dairy though yeah cheese made of is cheese made of? No, but he eats dairy.

Does he? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He doesn't eat cheese, but he'll eat, he'll drink milk or have milk? What's the fucking logic in that? If you're not having cheese, it's because of the dairy. I don't know. Wait, I don't know.

Does he eat cheese? He doesn't eat cheese. I mean, not cheese. What am I saying? Milk. Yo, what's going on? Do we get him on the horn? Can you get him on the horn real quick? I don't even want to he eat cheese? Kid doesn't eat cheese. I mean, not cheese. What am I saying? Milk. Yo, what's going on? Do we get him on the horn? Can you get him on the horn real quick?

I don't even want to know. Is it going to upset me? I don't want to know that he doesn't drink milk. But PopTarts will bring in idea guy Greg. Yeah. Ahmed the hype man will come on. Right. He'll just make everyone in the office.

We're a package deal here at San Agados Studios. We are. And you have the chance to be back at the forefront of pop culture. Back. We'll bring five flavors that guaranteed to sell out This is quite a pitch. I'm just saying so pop-tarts. You're back on the clock Right, you're the draft pick has been relinquished Taco Bell is still waiting in the wings. See this is what I'm saying

You keep bringing them up and I feel like you're trying to sneak in a fucking like sponsorship here I'm not trying to sneak in anything. We've also seen other companies. I'm gonna get this guy cheesy gordita Yeah, well, I know I know my nose body well Yeah meat please Can I get a cheesy gordita extra meat? Listen. Double extra, is that a thing? It will be once I go.

Triple meat, yo, we should just go to Taco Bell and order something that like isn't allowed. Let me get a cheesy gordita Crunchwrap Supreme. Triple meat. Triple. And just watch the guy go, what? No, well, the guy, someone tweeted at us and they said like, I work or worked at Taco Bell and they use the same portion of meat for anything you get, whether it be a singular taco or a Crunchwraps Supreme.

Yeah, it's probably just like a plastic scoop. It's like a metal scoop thing, but you're fucking up Taco Bell. Don't make us come for you. Yeah. Taco Bell, this could be your chance too. You guys have popped hearts. Frankie's now creating a bidding war

between two companies that are not interested. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Why is that happening because I'm not talking about popped hearts got a very vulnerable state right now because big daddy Pop tart mr. Pop tart himself. He shouldn't even post a tart no Instead of pop tart. I guess it pops it pops out of the and it's a tart. I'm a fucking isn't a tart It's the one that when they had jelly like the one like the strawberry one was like the first one now strudel Look at yeah, I know is that what is that? What is a tart? It's just like a it's a pastry that has like a tart filling tart We're gonna look up this the way you say tart is very interesting art an open pastry case containing a filling Yeah, okay, so it's a pop a pop pop tart

Okay, so it's a pop a pop pop tart Yeah, they pop out of the fucking toaster You know the toasters were like getting a lot of burn back in the 90s I don't even use one anymore. We have one haven't used it. I'm saying unless you're gonna make toast But like how often you know we have you ever use toast at an air fryer make toast in an air fryer It comes out great the air fry dude. That's crazy the air fryer? Make toast in an air fryer? It comes out great. The air fryer, dude, that's crazy. The air fryer shit all over the toaster. They've done, they've completely destroyed toasters. And air, and like toaster ovens.

Dude, I wanna talk about that. And I don't know why. And maybe this is just me being a piece of shit. It probably is. But when I go to someone's house. Oh, here we are. And they have one of those. I'm like. You judge them. Yeah, I'm like what is this like where it's like you open the thing and it's like a little mini oven You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's not like it's not an air fryer

It's like an actual mini oven that has like the squiggly hot wires. I'm like what the fuck I know exactly what you're talking about microwave it I Do tend to be- What is that called? It's a toaster oven. Oh yeah, fuck those. I tend to be a little judgmental of toaster ovens because show me one that has ever worked properly

and not looked like fucking Hiroshima after making a single piece of toast in there. Yikes, dude. Dude. Very too soon for that, dude. Yeah. Too big? We were just getting over that. Were we? I don't know. I don't know

Well, but they're just like they're they are the most dirty things ever like a normal oven doesn't get that dirty Why is this little baby oven? That's on my countertop because you only use it when you're fucking hammer, dude I've only ever seen people use it to make pizza rolls. That's literally it. Elio's Pizza. Pizza rolls. Bagel bites. Oh, you want to rank those? Yeah. Wait, so who we go? Elio's Pizza. Who's goo? Elio's Pizza. Elio's Pizza. Yeah. Pizza Rolls. Pizza Rolls. Bagel Bites and for the fart. What the fart? Hot Pockets. Give me those top four. That's so hard.

What's last? Personally? Yeah. Personally. I'm gonna upset some people here. Pizza, pizza, pizza rolls are last. Um, that's not crazy. I just think like they are just little balls of molten hot magma.

They are hot as fucking shit or fucking ice cold. Yeah. Nothing is warm. It's steaming hot. Yeah. Smoldering hot or freezing. I think an easy number one for me is Elio's Pizza. Yes, yes, I agree. Elio's Pizza is an easy one.

I don't like that it's perforated, like, loosely. Yeah, why? Like, why the fuck is it perforated on the bottom? I'm not tearing this. I'm taking the whole, I'm taking the whole thing, like a Shakespearean skull, and I'm injecting it into my mouth I'm not cutting this up. This is going in the face hole. Yes. If you do get Elio's pizzas for like sharing

That's crazy. That's a lot. I used to make two at a time. Oh, yeah You don't make one easy easy It's like Pringles once you pop you just kind of stop It's like Pringles once you pop you just can't stop One ellios to hot pot hot pockets to I hot pockets are incredible by the way incredible I will say hot as shit to and they fuck my stomach up. Do they oh Boy, I don't like how they fart I Know like when you put them in the in the microwave and then like it starts fart now

It starts farting out all the cheese and then you go to pick it up and cheese hit your hand And they burn it. Oh, yeah I don't like that you make me put it in like a nuclear radioactive fucking sleeve I like the same thing they put on my chest when they take x-rays at the fucking dentist No, I like that you got to put a bulletproof vest on this thing just I like that because then you can pick it up And you just slide it onto the plate. Yes, I don't like that. I kind of keep I keep it in the vest You cut those right? No, I don't you don't cut a hot pot. I don't that's the thing Oh, I cut it in half. I don't cut it. That's probably not right

I do it because it's not like it's too hot. I mean you you do it out of necessity. I do it Well, I don't do it because I'm just stupid correct, yeah No, I think that's how you're supposed to eat. It's how they eat in the commercials. I don't really care. They also tear open Snickers bars like that in the commercial. Yeah, that's kind of insane. And I've never done that. Me neither. But one L. E. O.'s, two Hot Pockets, three Bagel Bites, four Pizza Rolls.

Bagel Bites are like super okay, though. Because I hate when you get a Bagel bite and and like the sauce and cheese has shifted like this way. So it's like three quarters bagel. It's like what are you doing bagel bites? Also, I don't like like just just give me the mozzarella cheese. You don't have to throw in these little like yellow squares. Yeah, who wants cheddar on their pizza? What the hell are we doing? Figure it out. Like figure it inside and out. Poptarts we know that you're hurting and very vulnerable right now. We're here and we're ready to help you through this tough time. Taco Bell? Keep that donut on the bat and swing away while on deck. Franky's just like let's just keep an open line of communication. We haven't talked to Taco Bell.

Keep the emails coming Taco Bell. It's just crazy that we have not gotten more like Pop Tarts did their due diligence and they came in and they were like Yo, listen, let's do this debate box. Yeah. Yeah, love that. Yeah Nobody else nobody else bro. We have pushed hot dogs more than fucking Kobayashi. That makes more sense. Nathan's, you fuck you, not fuck, but definitely freak. And also, Nathan's, you might be out, and you might see this and just be like,

these two fucking- Who's the other hot dog? There's Sibrette, there's Hebrew national. Sibrette. There's ballpark Franks. He's Frank. I'm Frank. He's in, he likes ballparks.

And I do like baseball. I love it. You know, he loves it too Yeah, we're ballpark boys. Yeah, and we'll go to a game I need a hundred if you need us to or something honestly, we should eat a two-foot hot dog on The show and meet in the middle unbroken edited, you know what unbroken edit Just us eating a two-foot hot dog and meeting in the middle. I'm not gonna Meet you in the middle. I was kidding Thumans who's that another hot dog boar's head they've got hot dogs. Oh, yeah, I don't know about that I'll do it. I feel like I'm eating a whole bear care. They're so what is a hot dog baloney? Oh, I

I'm too afraid to ask if I'm being really on a cigarette. There's cigarette, there's like a lot of shit in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like rat poison. I don't care. You ever see a product like that, like a hot dog and on the packaging, it's like this was made in a facility with like nuts and I'm like, why? Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,

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look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, Not my favorite are the people that post and it's like once you see this you'll never want to chicken dung it again And it's like fucking spoiler alert want them even more now. Just saw it scroll past it Line up the hot dogs. Okay. Listen. We learned that hot dogs take like five minutes off your life or something like that And we had like 20 in a season Very committed so yeah, that was after we found out that information. On the podium. Boom. Pop-tarts.

Yeah. Taco Bell. Okay. Any of the hot dog brands. Yeah, yeah. This could be a- I would say, you know what? We're gonna hit up our father, Greg.

Our father, did you say our father God? Our father who are in heaven. And I'll be like, yo, just reach out and fucking hot dogs. Like, let's get some fucking hot dogs. Anyone. And it doesn't need to be anything crazy. Have us host the 4th of July. That is crazy.

Nothing crazy. We'll host the Coney Island hot dog eating. Who does it now? A guy in a stupid fucking short paper hat. Yes. I don't want that It should be us. He's been doing it for a hundred years. He's not that old He's not he's not that old it feels like a hundred years. Listen. We're already in Brooklyn True. I love hot dogs. We're only complete opposite side. It's okay. It's all right We love why do you say opposite like that?

Opposite complete opposite side Why do you say opposite like that? Opposite. You said complete opposite side. We love hot dogs. We're already in Brooklyn. Catch up. Our cholesterol is already questionably high. Just do with that as you may.

Is that what it is? That sentence beat the shit out of you. Do with that in the month of May. My head feels like a balloon. Yeah and I noticed that you have painted nails again. Yes Ruby wanted to paint both of my hands this time. It's gay. No. You know what? I'm playing to our other crowd. Oh the other crowd? Where they're like oh this guy's a little cuck. Libby cuck. What's the cuck lord? Cuck lord soy boy.Libby-Cock. What's the- Cuck-Lord? Cuck-Lord soyboy. Cuck-L-Libby-Cock.

Yeah, soyboy. That's the one. Right? What? And I'm wearing red. Let's go. Yeah. Um, we do have some sponsors for today, folks.

You know what I'm saying? People gotta get paid. Someone's gotta pay for all the, you know... What? What? What? That? What? That wasn't like a joke. Never mind, I actually had an exhale.

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Anything that you previously was on there, hundreds of episodes, you can go back and watch. So that means me getting my balls waxed, you could watch. Joe trying an edema, was that on there? Yeah. It's on there, go try it. And he does a full fucking balloon knot. No, don't.

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You know, it's just nice email so Go to the basement yard calm check it out and thank you so much for all the love and support. You're a piece of shit. What are you doing? You're lining up, you're counting. What are you doing? Pop tarts. I'm done talking about that.

No, no, no, we're done talking about that. I'm not gonna talk about it. No, can No, no, no, we're done talking about that. I'm not talking about it. No, can we please get to something that we have written down? We did half a show on brand deals and now you want to be taking it serious, Joe? We did half a show talking about- You did half a show on brand deals. I didn't bring up Taco Bell. I could get it into Cheese and Cork Theater though. But can we talk about please what I have written down right here which is Asian woman uses tampon as a weapon? Yeah. We gotta pay the bills.

We gotta keep the lights on here. What about this Asian woman using a tampon as a weapon? You brought it up! I did. I did. I saw a video. So you saw a video? Oh yeah. You saw a video of an Asian woman pulling a tampon out and swinging it around like a fucking like a What's this thing? What's the thing with the ball in the chain a mace bang? You ready? Yeah, you ready wait Am I gonna watch it? Oh, you want to is it bloody? Uh? I'll I don't I didn't look that hard. I just I saw what she pulled out. It read her white I mean you would know no not that easy. Maybe she had a like a light flow. He's not like her third fourth day

Oh, let's talk about like flows for women We're the right ones to talk about that right yeah ah Wait, did you was she fighting a man or a woman a woman? She was fighting a woman. Oh No, she's dating around she's this point. It takes way too long for her to wow like you have time to get out of there Oh, wow, she's back. Oh, wow. She pulled it out like a nun. She picked it back up. Oh It's bounce over it. It's red brother. It's a bounce over head. It's red dude Did that bounce off of her head? She's using it like a chunk of This Asian woman was digging around in her purse pulled out her lady say her

will hurt her her juicy purse I will say that's a big tampon I've seen so I believe it's a pad there you can see it action that's a red okay cuz I was gonna say that's a giant fucking tampon I don't know how that's pretty big we're not tampon shaming here Joey I'm not the business of tampon shaming I am just saying it was bigger than I had thought. Have you ever like held one? Why'd you go like this? Like I was holding it like it was a dead bird.

Have you ever held one? No. Yeah, of course. What do you mean, of course? I mean, I have a sister. I've seen tampons before. Oh, so you're holding your sister's tampons? Okay, not like when they're out and about.

You're saying, of course, like it's a normal thing. Obviously not pre or post usage, but like in a box, out of a box or something. Yeah. Why is that an of course? Because I don't know, you grew up around someone who's got tampons in. Correct.

Yeah. I guess that wasn't a top. We shared a bathroom, there was one bathroom. Six of us. He always talked about this one bathroom thing because it was IBS. Oh, I Grew up in a household of women. I never held a tampon until you had the same amount of women in your house as me Still I grew up in a house of women So outnumbered the women we had two bathrooms though. You did. Maybe that was the difference. Yeah maybe there was a tampon bathroom. Maybe one of them was a

strictly tampon bathroom. Listen at the end of the day this is what I saw with my own eyes. A fucking Asian woman who was started digging in her juicy purse pulled out a tampon, threw it at someone and then they picked it up, threw it back at her and it jumped off her head. Listen, if you in a fight, listen, I've been in one physical fight in my whole life. How many mental? Oh, one physical fight, many mental fights. Hundreds, thousands of mental fights.

If you're in a fight, just a word of advice. I don't encourage violence or physical altercations. But if you see someone go in their pants and rummaging around like that. Time to go home. Whatever is coming out is not good. I'm calling my mom to pick me up. Don't stay to find out what it is,

cause it's either a gun. It's either pee pee poo poo or like being banned. Or pew pew. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, pew pew, pee pee, or poo poo. Yeah. And no matter what it saying? Pew Pew, pee pee, or poo poo. Yeah. And no matter what it is that's coming out of there, don't stick around to find out.

I don't care how big your pride is, get the hell out of dodge. Get out of dodge? Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm out, I'm out. I'm not sticking around for that. I mean, and it's crazy how many of those things exist in the world that are like,

it's so actually easy to neutralize a fight. Cause all you have to do is like get naked or like piss your pants Or like piss your pants. That's shit your pants or something bro If I'm trying to fight someone and they poop themselves They're crazier than anything I could ever like you have to announce it though You have to be like I'll fucking shit myself right now. What's up? And you're like wait are you threatening me with that and then they shit themselves? You're like I'm out humans are a lot like dogs where when we get into fight we just want that fencing between us We want to show like we're bike. We're barking. You know like my right. We don't want to actually go through and bite

So if someone's telling you there's nothing holding me back, and I'm gonna fucking defecate on myself Yeah, they're insane Shitting in your own hand and throwing it out a person is a surefire way to win a fight I Could beat up anyone because of that you realize that yeah Unless they're they're crazier than you if you better hope they're not because if you throw shit at someone and then they continue to walk toward you You dead is that like biological warfare like that is probably that's a different level of crime Right. Yeah, I think that's like that's probably like really illegal Is it like what what's the like what kind of crime do you think it is assault with it can't be deadly weapon?

Do you could die from a poop? Like if I threw shit at your face and you got shit in your eyes and your mouth and shit you could get like I don't know Is something is throwing poop a Crime what is this show dude is throwing poop a crime if so lock up the monkeys I've seen them throw poop is it I'm not getting a straight answer it's just saying like if you throw your dogs poop is throwing what about that too if I threw a dog if I got into a fight on the street and I was walking my dog and I had a shitbag with me And I was filled with poop and I threw it at someone am I going to this lammer the so I got you the OCC

J.E. Which stands for? Who cares I don't know or care It refers to it as a bodily fluid assault Right you can't like piss fight someone. It's a well, I don't think anyone is calling it a piss fight, but like, uh, cause I think this happens. You never saw the show Oz, right? No. It's a great show. You should watch it. It's fucked up. In one episode there is, uh, someone I believe they're

something, someone you wouldn't define as like a bad criminal on your end, like an Aryan or something. You feel for them, right? But someone literally throws a cup full of stuff at them and it's identified as being piss, shit, cum, and throw up. No, no, no. And it's I have that. That's a body bomb. That's a body, that's exactly what it is.

That's a body bomb. What does that smell like? Well, think of what piss smells like. Okay. So you have pee-pee smell. Right, no. I know what these individually smell like. I'm talking about mixed.

Put them together. It smells like mustard probably. What color do you think it is? Brown. Yeah. The shit is the like oh, yeah the fucking heavy weight the banana of that smoothie Yeah, you can always taste the banana Exactly, dude exactly. Yeah. Yeah ill fuck, but like that's that got to be a crime like if you're pulling out your bloody Like if you're pulling out your bloody pad or tampon

and using it as a weapon, yeah, wild. Yeah, no, that's straight to jail shit. I would say like, yeah, that's it. That's it, you need to be on the cocktail. No bail, no bail. You need to be on the cocktail if you get hit with that. What does that mean? Oh, that rock. The cocktail, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like for people to prevent like HIV and stuff like that. You said that and I want a margarita. Could have went anywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that. And one of the fucking people performing, they said, like, can you just go grab something for my bag and she put their hand in their bag to grab something and she felt a pinch and look, she got poked on a needle. Who carries around raw needles? Fucking people that are shooting up. Jesus Christ, dude.

And she told, she, like, I remember her telling me, she's like, I had to take a cocktail and it was like It was like seven pills or some ridiculous amount three times a day. Oh my god, which is why dude That's terrifying Could you I thought you were gonna go somewhere else with that because like when you started saying concert and shit I remember seeing a video of like I think we may have talked about it Remember that it was like a woman was like a rock band and she just took the fattest piss all over some Dudes face. Yes But he has wrong with the whites the white is wrong with the white it is the whites

It is the whites they are they are all over the place Jesus piss on each other's faces You're you're a pee pee guy You definitely are not you definitely are dude the right person comes along and asks you to fucking piss on them or them to the right person you're doing it dude don't even sit there I know you because I here's a serious question I asked Joey a couple weeks ago I was like oh here's a serious question says a statement I said to Joey a couple weeks ago I was like yo so and so wants to peg you are you doing it he was like yeah wait what so wants to peg you are you doing it? He was like yeah Wait what I asked if you would get pegged if the right person came along. I did not say and you said yeah

No, I don't want to get my butt banged ever Someone asked you to crap on them No, not a fucking chance. You're lying. I'm not you're fucking unless a guy in Dubai is like yo 10 billion I'd be like 10 bills. I'm not you're fucking unless a guy in Dubai is like yo ten billion. I'd be like ten bills I'm fucking unloading. Yeah, that might be sponsored by 40,000 Patrons are good at Dubai and shit on our prints if they ask us to

Serious serious. No, if we get an email, yeah, like we'll give you guys a bill. I wouldn't believe it a billion dollars each I wouldn't believe I'd say we have to have I'd like yo send half now And then we get the half half a million dollars shows up my bank account billy half a billion half up dude I said half a million yeah Half a billion dollar shows up my bank account. I will go there with the fullest tummy Oh, Joey's and do him a favor joey's letting it rip you have no idea he's got you have you my that's it let me tell you something if someone pays me a billion dollars for me to crap on them they're getting the best crap that I've

ever produced I'm trying to make him a repeat customer you understand what I'm saying big business Joe so you got to really take it hey Pop Tarts you still watching you see this is the mentality This is what we need top of the food. This is what we need This is what we need people that are willing to make crappers like repeat Customers we also have some sponsors for today The first one being Seekie. Okay, you want to go to a nice baseball game or like a hockey game or whatever it is I mean football is over but that's okay.

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That's where I get all my tickets for years. Everyone knows that okay, so seek geek download it Put in that code basement save $20 on your first purchase. You're welcome. Have a great night And this podcast is sponsored by better help so better help is online therapy If you want to start doing therapy, this is a great way to do it. I have been an advocate for therapy for years now. I've been in it for a while and it is amazing. And I honestly, before I started doing it, was like,

I don't know, or I was just kind of like, a little bit nervous about what the hell it would be like anyway, but it was one of the best choices ever. It's amazing. I definitely think that everyone should be in it. Even if you don't have anything traumatic going on in your life, it's good to have someone to talk to that's not someone you have to see all the time, like out there in the world, and will judge you for certain things. Because we all don't tell everyone everything. But it's nice to have someone in your life that it's just kind of like a person

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and enjoy your therapy, okay? Which you will probably need if you get crapped on. Well, I actually know that might be like, I imagine if you're into crapping That's like a release for you You know what I'm saying like you know like the like two seconds after you sneeze It's like you're the you felt the greatest you've ever felt in your whole life Yeah, but I feel that way when I pee but I don't feel like

Dude like when you take it when you when you finally can pee When you've been holding a pee and then you're like oh, yeah, it's such a good feeling I feel like I'm floating and pissing what feels better That mm-hmm or Orgasming Orgasming Or gasping. Um, uh, coming, yeah. Really?

I think that's number one. Okay. It's very cool to come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Super dope. I'm just checking. You're all over the place with you. No, I'm not.

No, I just want to make sure because sometimes you... By the way, speaking of piss, I saw a thing that, uh, Rainn Wilson, who if you guys don't know, he plays Dwight on The Office. Great show, great guy. He said... Maybe, I don't know he plays Dwight on the office great show great guy he said yeah cool ever his book is pretty cool yeah yeah good but I heard that he's he said something like he doesn't wash his hands after he pisses most of the time do you wash your hands after you pee are you ahead you let's just hold on let me paint the scene okay? All right paint the scene I'm gonna close my eyes you're in your house. Yes, you're like oh, no bladder all filled up

I don't know why you're talking like that. Yeah, why don't I but then you go to the bathroom and you take a piss Then what I'll be honest with you. There are don't be fucking on I am being very honest There are many variables at play here Don't complicate it. I'm not complicating it, but if other people are over Yes, because I don't want them to know that normally I wouldn't oh, so you wash your hands when you're there Yeah, okay, so if you're alone in your house if I'm alone in my house. Yeah, like most days most days I'm alone in my house. I'm going and fucking Pissing pissing and then don't get mad. I'm getting the my house. I'm going and fucking pissing, pissing.

And then don't get mad. I'm getting the hell out. Unless I get pee-pee on my hands. Which how the hell do you do that? Well. It's not flying around like a fire hose. Don't talk about my dick, all right? Yeah.

You don't know what's going on. You don't know my dick. You don't know my cock. If there's like people around, like if my in-laws are over or like we have company of any sort, I'm at least turning the water on and making it sound like I'm washing my hands.

Hold on, no, no, no, hold on, hold on. Have you ever? Sometimes. So you've gone to the bathroom and you're like, I know these people run inside my door, but for some reason you just don't wanna wash your hands. I don't give a fart about washing my hands. So you just go, and then you just so you just I just go

And then you stand there and I just stand there look at myself And you also like have I'll even go as far as to like get water on my hands like you know like put a little on my like face Or something, but but no soap absolutely not why I don't know I'm with you you're with you do the same thing when I was younger my parents be like go take a shower I would go to the bathroom turn the shower on not get in and then wet my hair in the sink. That's why that's crazy I love showering well. I'm always young. I was a young children. I don't know why though Why don't kids why don't kids like to fucking sleep eat or bathe? This doesn't make any fucking sense to me. It doesn't make sense. Those are arguably three of my favorite things on the planet.

Okay? Sleeping, bathing. Eating. Eating. Oh yeah, those are great. Like three of the happiest times of my day are when I'm doing one, if not all three of those things. So why the fuck won't kids just do it?

I don't know, man. But yes, if I know I have people over and there's a chance that someone's waiting for the bathroom outside the door Yeah, I I throw You see you do a show you do I put on a show for myself. It's funny. I like that just because I appreciate the honesty I'm being honest. You're being vulnerable. I am being honest and true to myself And you're not wrong and there's other people have done shit like that that yeah now listen i've probably done that if i'm crapping i'm watching i'm washing my hands like they're crap like i'm going into fucking brain surgery let me ask you another question i need this honesty yeah have you ever you're gonna get it have you ever taken a crap, and then you're like I'm good. I'll just flush this have I in my life

Yes, in many years no so like recently no no no no yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah if if if I'm putting my ass in a toilet bowl at my hand How do you shit and my head put it in the bowl? Well technically you do Technically you sit on top. Yeah, but like it goes in. Oh, I forgot I'm working with fucking flat ass over here. Hey, watch it bud! You're not working with anything. Joey spreads his ass and then sits down so his just his fucking His asshole is just like exposed. No, I don't. That's how he craps so fast. No.

That's what he does I'm telling you Okay, so you wash your hands when you correct. Yes, I have to so not beep be right. Yeah, we're back to piss yep Let's say you're out somewhere Is it every time? You wash your hands when you post COVID. Yeah post COVID absolutely pre-COVID You're getting dapped up with piss hands, baby. Absolutely Absolutely, dude. I don't care. Yeah

Yeah, I mean in my car Oh, oh, yeah, you just hand sanitize everything hand sanitize. That's right. Yeah, that's a little pee gets on the steering wheel hand sanitize It's all good on the steering wheel It's all good on the steering wheel Well, you know sometimes it gets a little messy you pee it up like what's going on So here's what I do. I don't want to know what you're gonna find out. No, I'm not watch watch cuz you will So I'm driving right. I like to be in a slightly bit of a reclined Situation when I'm driving. Yeah So what I do is I,

you're going back even further. I push my feet, most of the time I push my car seat real far up and then I push my feet up against like, you know what I'm talking about? It's like a pedal but it's not. Yeah, I push my foot there. So I'm like.

You're suspended in the air. I'm like that. So then. So I'm like you're suspended in there like that so then So the bottles above the steering wheel, so I hold the bottle Good I don't know I hold the bottle so it's like Like that because if it's like this the water pee excuse me not water. Yeah, no, no, it's this Yeah, it's gonna settle here right you need it at a slight angle. That's just that's just physics Exactly, exactly what? What forensics fluid ounces yes, I so and then I

Come up. Yeah And I do a kind of filter filter it in jam it in Do you put the tip in I put the whole try to shove it in there's there's some really small Like bottles are not I don't know if you know this bottles are not made to be piston So like the hole are small are small. Yeah, but but now if I work this is when they're soft though are like mice You can jam them into small places like you can. The exterminator said, well if you can get your pinky in it, you can get it, a mouse can get through it.

That's what I'm saying. Pretty true about a dick too, alright? So do you shove it in? Yeah, but here's the thing. Do you get pea girth? Oh, sometimes my- You get pea girth. If I'm holding a piss for a bit-

You get pe- it's like a water balloon. My dick gets, yeah. It's like a water balloon my dick gets yeah It's like a water balloon so start putting on some weight. Yeah, so I I I Guide it to do its thing and then when I'm done I like pinch it off Mm-hmm, and I just make sure I get as much out because how do you do that that you can't do that? You do it just in the air? Yeah. And every now and then a little comes out on my pants, on the steering wheel, on the chair.

So at some point on the Garden State Parkway, you're driving and you're holding your penis and you're shaking it and pissing it off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now you're making me sound like a creep. I'm pulled over. Look at how it's better. So you're flicking your dick and there's piss sometimes that flies everywhere. Got it. No, no, no, no, no. You're what you're doing this. That's not a flick Joey.

I'm just I'm just I'm like well no you're you're baptizing. All right. I don't like I don't like you. Oh suddenly he doesn't want to talk about it. I don't like how you're trying to make me sound here. Okay. You I don't like it. Oh because I'm repeating what you said Don't like how you're making me sound here Joey. Anyway, I

Also don't wash my hands every single time I piss you can't yeah We're we've got too much to do as New Yorkers were always on the go And you know what's funny sometime and I see a lot of people do this also I've been in public bathrooms many times. Dudes will pee, they'll walk over, and just put water on their hands, and that's it. Won't do soap. I will say this.

That does nothing. I have in the past washed only one of my hands. How do you wash one hand without washing the other? How many hands do you soap in the hand? What are the hand and does that why that's so much harder than doing this? No it's not. No it's not. And then you just wash that hand that you use. Are you how? How am I the idiot? Why did you do that though? To wash the hand that I used. The other hand was elsewhere. Yeah.

But that's the hand that was used. So you put soap in that one hand and you go like this under the water. Yeah. It's unbelievable. The things that we do in this world. You're gonna turn it. But that one I've never done. Bullshit. I'm calling big old fat old bullshit.

You think I'm washing one hand? I've also been in a ton of bathrooms and seen people do this and that. Some people just walk right out. Some people just put water. What is this and that? Like some people just walk right out or they put water on their hands and that's it. Or some people fully wash their hands. I have never seen a person walking over doing this.

You haven't been to the bathroom clean up. And I know that because I would go, what the fuck are you doing? What is that guy doing? Listen, I'm an innovator in many things. Claps. Yeah. The way I eat chips of white cookie blasts.

And the way I wash my hands. I don't know about it. We need to move forward. We can't just be using the same techniques that we've used for hundreds of years to do things. Some things. No. Here's to the crazy ones.

The innovators, the misfits. Are you doing a monologue? What the fuck? Or is this like a pink song or something? I'm just letting you know. Here's for the misfit. You think you're a misfit because you wash your one hand at a time? Yeah.

I don't even know what to say to you. You're confined. I'm not, Frank. You often refer to yourself as very conservative and you're confined to the way that things have been done and are being done. Sometimes when people dare to see the world in a different light, maybe they are better off. You wish that made sense. You wish. You fucking wish that made any type of sense, don't you? I said my peace.

Yeah. By the way, I didn't know that was peace as in a piece of I thought it was peace no but but it's a piece yeah brother like stop here you're all over the place I thought it was I said my peace no I said my piece of this conversation that makes so much more sense than me thinking peace yeah also what's the last time someone hit that piece I do it every now then do you view please yeah I've stopped doing like the Asians love the peace. I've stopped careful now. I've stopped doing yikes I've stopped doing the wave in the car for like thank you and I do peace now

Because this could be I do this. What is this close to this is a four same right here? What is this close to this is a foreseeing right here? Yeah, thank you. Oh, I should I think I do that too. Yeah, oh god. Thank you, brother Yeah, that's it. That's such a more like thank you. It's not really this is like do you when you say it when you say Thank you do in the car. Do you just say thank you or make a noise you you don't do you say, huh? Yeah? Yeah, oh, I say thank you, brother. Thank you. Thank you You say I thank you in your car out loud. Yeah No, I because if God is watching I want him to know that I met and did the right thing Right because what if that person thinks like were you flipping me off? It's like no ask God, right?

I'm safe here. You ever heard that like Jeep people who own Jeeps they all like Say hi to each other because they all own Jeeps. Oh like a cult basically. Yeah, and like I've seen people on Instagram in their bios They do like a capital oh and then lines and then another capital Oh because it looks like the front of a Jeep because they have a Jeep Have you reported every single person you've seen do that we should blow up the company I'm just telling you right now. Like that's insane. If I if I witnessed people be like Jeep, Jeep, I would fucking, I'm getting a new car. I'm gonna forget a car. I'm blowing up wherever we are that establishment. Yeah, I'm probably. Crash range. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah. Well, we're going to end with some violence, I guess.

Frank, where can they find you, bud? If Alvarez885 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez, and all the forms of social media, then go check out the patreon, patreon.com, slash the basement yard. And guess what? While you're at it, the basement yard on all forms of social media, folks.

Yeah, go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. Go follow me at JoeSanagato, and that is all. By the way, like Frank said earlier, go to the basementyard.com. on on tiktok and instagram go follow me at Joe Sanigato and that is all by the way Like Frank said earlier go to the base me our calm sign up for the newsletter So you guys find out when these shows are coming because they are coming soon and that is all see you guys next They're coming like Joe quick and before you know it