The Basement Yard - #440 - We're Tryna Get Slimed!

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

We WILL get slimed! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the bass... Welcome back to the bass minyard Frank. How's it going chief? Uh sounds...shhh. You hear that? Hmm. Roli Frank is here today. Roli Frank. No, Roli Frank is... He only comes out on very very special occasions. What's the occasion?

Well the only occasion he's been out was the night after our first show in Montclair. Okay. And he has not shown his face since. Who knows when he'll come back. Is he, he's today, he's here? No, no, no, no. I don't think he's here today.

Roli Frank is not just wearing the Rolex. It's a mentality. It's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle, it's a mentality, it's a- Is that why you bought $100 worth of slime off of TikTok? Hold on. Because Frank just told me before we started recording that he bought $100 worth of slime, of Tik Tok. Hold on. Because Frank just told me before we started recording that he bought $100 worth of slime,

not for children. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Don't you know no no did you know you didn't know I didn't know I didn't know yes I did ask if you know not twice Joey Joey definitely more than that there was zero moans that left my mouth Zero Frank zero moans. So what's this? Oh? Whoa, that's what it was. It was a whoa. It was an active. It was no whoa It was it was just it was it there was no one moment of adoration and just like absolute like bliss and looking at slime Fuck you by the way. I'm trying to fucking bring me down. I don't like this. Where's my girl gypsy Rose get him He's next what the Jesus I'm gonna get a sicker on me

Jesus. I'm just, are you gonna get a sicker on me? Like a dog? Get him, get him, I sick him. I'm just saying like, you're like, what the fuck is wrong with that? First of all, it was, it is a family thing for all of us to do. Put your fucking fingers down.

$100 worth of slime is an insane amount of slime. I was, all right, here's what was going on. I was scrolling TikTok as I be doing sometimes. Okay. And all of these fucking TikTok accounts Here's what was going on. I was scrolling TikTok as I be doing sometimes Okay And all of these fucking TikTok accounts come up where it's like them using an ice cream scoop and scooping slime Have you never seen them? No, dude. I swear to God. You ever look at something and want to eat it food Not just food, but just like like something something that's not edible, like chalk.

Or like women. A whole time. Not like a silence of the lambs type of way. I'm like, I'm not. You did speak about fava beans the other day. I did. And now you're speaking about eating women. You are getting very dangerously close

to fucking Hannibal Lecter style. No one's gonna eat a person's leg, alright? Well, let's relax. You specified legs if you've thought about this before. I mean, where else would you go for the thigh? Or actually the butt, then the thigh. I'd say butt boobs die. If we're doing just women.

The boobs I think would be too chewy. Men, men is thighs, buys, tries. Honestly, I'd go for the showy muscles. No. I'm just thinking out loud here. I'd go for the showy muscles. No. I'm just thinking out loud here. I'd go for the showy muscles. The showy muscles.

I don't feel like they have to work out the muscles. So we are gonna have a cannibal conversation. You wanna keep going? Back to slime. Okay. No, I was scrolling and bro, and if you have not, all right, I know your phone's listening to you, it's listening to me.

Slime for Joey, slime for Joey slime for Joey now It's gonna start putting some slime videos in your algorithm. Okay, so I saw them and I was like goddamn like they look so good To eat but just also to play with to go like this with bro They they like do videos of them just like taking a slime out and they just fucking crush it in between their hand and like slime Like pops through yeah, they're fucking knuckles for sure and like oh Because then they have have different types of slime. They have clear slimes, water slimes, bingsu slimes, snow fizz. Like, there's so many different.

It's a world of slime. This is absolutely insane what you're doing, right? Snow fizz. What is that? It's just, just, what is snow fizz? It's like a, I don't know. It's a white, dusty slime? No, well, it could be.

It's just the texture at which they refer to it. Maybe we need to get some slime on an episode so you can rate and play with slime. Yeah. You know what would be cool? What? We'll put this out in the universe. And I don't know if this is like possible,

but like Nickelodeon award thing and we get to get slime or something. We just talked about eating boobs, butts, buys and tries. I don't think Nickelodeon. They're not gonna put us on Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon's putting us on the kids' choice awards. No, they slime a bunch of people. We just talked about eating boobs butts buys and tries Putting us on the kids choice awards No, they sign a bunch of awards when we get you know, we were just like oh sweet like say like oh hey Thanks for coming and like is fucking the next thing Joey and then they slime

They have people like fucking you know like I was gonna say Drake and Josh One of those people is not doing many many things now. It's got some stuff There's some stuff. Yeah, but like they have like fucking like Nate Brelson and like fucking Kel Mitchell hosting Yeah, we're not gonna host the whole thing. You just said oh, I mean like I mean like we walk out we say hey How's it going kids the next they'll never do that? They'll never do that we are not the nickel now if they were to do like a we're not the Nickelodeon demigrafing people's choice awards I think that's a little more they don't By the way by the way, what's the one with the snow not the snowboard the surfboard which by the way? Who green let that listen who let him be like instead of giving out little for awards the VMM

TV it's MTV TV their awards, their video music awards. MTV. I'm not bringing that. Surfboard? I don't want to win. Surfboard? A board. A surfboard?

I will want to win the one that has like, it's like the golden like popcorn bucket because that popcorn on top looks really cool to like touch. Yeah. Like a little brain. Yeah. Like a metal brain. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I know you mean. But like, then no one's going to want us.

Joey, I will say this. Maybe we want us Joey I will say this maybe I will say this yeah listen listen up don't say never never no I know I'm not saying never but there's people who've been on that stage who've been slim who curse pop tarts Taco Bell this is crazy and no hot dogs and no like Like and like internet movie like internet podcast awards have hit us up Whatever I see I see like shorties or like internet dorties or you know Podcast Emmys or yeah. Yeah, Streamies. Well, no one I'll put on a suit and get up there And play a thanks guy, but like even if we don't win I just want my name to be in a kind of thing

It's some dog shit that you have James Corden and Cowarpool karaoke winning for fucking seven years in a row and the basement boys We don't even get a not a sniff. No sniff. No sniff. Give us a sniff We're not listen. We're not gonna do anything. We don't want to win We just want a sniff and maybe go to an award show. Yeah, that would be kind of cool Man, just give us, we're not, listen, we're not gonna do anything. We don't wanna win, we just wanna sniff. And maybe go to an award show? Yeah. That would be kinda cool. I wanna walk a red carpet and have people go,

yeah, over here. Well, yeah, apparently what they do is before you walk out, they hold up your name on a sign. So the people know who you are, cause let's be honest. There's not, yeah. Not a single one. Not one pop, Rod, Steve, like, oh, these guys. You know what's funny is a couple weeks ago,

I went to dinner with some friends and they were like, oh yeah, we got invited to go to like, this thing for like the Sopranos 25th anniversary. It's like, did it. What the fuck? Did it with them and they're like, what about you? And I was like, hey man, I just got invited to the premiere of Good Burger 2.

And Percy Jackson in the Olympics. Yeah, what the fuck? Like, I'm not, no, no, no knock. I'm a big good burger guy. All right. I don't even know Percy Jackson. Percy Jackson in the Olympians. I like Creek mythology and I hear the show is pretty good.

I'm gonna watch it one day, but I wanted to walk. They said, oh, come walk the orange carpet. Orange. Nickelodeon brother for Good Burger 2. Brother. Okay. Like not a sniff. For Good Burger too. Brother. Okay. Like not a sniff. Yeah, we don't want a sniff.

Not a sniff for us. You know what? 2024, we would like some sniffs and award shows. If you work for a company that does award shows, whatever, we just want to be sniffs. We don't want to win. We don't listen. Winning would be cool,

but that would probably be dangerous to get us up there because you normally be hopped up on marks. Listen. And you know, Fergie's gonna be hopped up on a little bit of Mark's too. And we're gonna get up there and win probably games. Did you say Mark's? Are we sniffing Markers?

No, no, no, Mark's. Margaritas. Margaritas. I was like, I didn't know that. Markers? I didn't know you were saying it hopped up on Mark's. I was like, oh shit. Unless you wanna. Are sniffing fucking Sharpies now?

Unless you wanna. I mean, I don't hate the smell of a marker. I've never gotten high off sniffing markers. That's kind of insane to me. I think that's just like a thing that happened in like the mid 2000. I don't think they're made with that like drugs anymore I'll tell you what if a marker has some dangerous stuff in it and its flavored peach I would get high off of it he's going up it'll be hard to get it out of my cold hard

hands it's good yeah yeah I don't know what that's drug That's drug addiction, brother. Okay, got it. That's what that looks like, all right? Okay. I just, we're simple boys. We wanna be dominated. We like hot dogs. Very simple things, hot dogs. Hot dogs. Uh, music. Okay. We like music.

We do. We like sports. Slime, apparently. We do. Do you care folks that had a tinge of judgment to it? Financially invested in slime. I will get back to slime. Don't you worry bitch, correct? But like

Maybe we just want to be recognized Maybe we just want someone to pat us on the back and say you guys doing a good job Now that's not why we do it. We pat ourselves on the back Joe's been patting me and fucking on the back on the front all day, but Just just Taco Bell and pop tarts are kind of in a war right now. They're trying to, it's a big bidding war guys. Bidding war, the company bidding war for the basement yard. Say that five times fast.

Big brand basement yard bidding war. That's what it's about. Big brand basement yard bidding war. Easy, get the fuck outta here. But back to the slime. I was scrolling TikTok, saw the slimes. Becca saw them, because we liked it at the end of the day we cuddle up, we scroll TikTok, we show each other.

It's like homework, we show each other like ones we've liked for each other that we think will make the other person laugh. One of my favorite things. It's so cute. And we saw the slime and we were like, oh shit. This would be sick to just like, just fucking put in your hands and play with.

And we were like, oh, like Becca was like, maybe we should like get some. She didn't, I- I know that it was you, Frankie. And then Becca was like, we should probably spend $100 on this. And you were like, oh, I don't know, feels like a lot. Okay.

Becca, no, Becca, I was sitting there, I was like, I want to get some. And she's like, yeah, that'd be cool. And I was like, I'll get some for like, so we can feels like a lot, okay. But, no, Becca, I was sitting there, I was like, I wanna get some. And she's like, yeah, that'd be cool. And I was like, I'll get some for like, so we can have like a family slime thing. Oh, okay. Because Ruby liked slime, and I was like, slime. I'll be honest with you guys, like,

I don't know if you guys are buying this, but I know how it went. They were scrolling, and Frankie started going, ugh. And then Becca's just looking at him like this, and he's like, we should buy some. And then she's just looking at him, and he's like, right? Yeah, for the whole family

All right, so I went I bought some slime and I was like, which one should I buy and then I saw it was like a slime starter kit and I was like I'm a seasoned slime vet. I am a seasoned veteran. I grew up in the late 90s early 2000 slime Gak, you know, all that shit was fucking readily of flow, readily available in Casa de Alvarez, okay? What's that other kinetic sand? That's kind of like what's the similar consistency to snowfizz. I fuck with that.

Is that the shit that feels like it's like sticky styrofoam? Yeah, a flow. That's like, flow. That's flow. Flow. Where it's like styrofoam in slime. No, no, no. it's not slimy. It's just like little circles that connect.

Like stickily. They connect stickily. I don't know, you're not making sense. Is that not, I don't know what it is. Stickily is not a word. Well, you get what I'm saying though, right? Yeah, so that's enough of being a word for me. But it looks like, it just looks like a bunch of ordered for me, but like it looks like a

It just looks like a bunch of little circles that are like connected and it's like sticky and you can like make stuff Whoa, look it up brother. If I hear another brother. I'm going to lose my fucking mind. Floam, FL-O-A-M I just want to make sure- Thank God you're here. Well, you said stickily quite a bit, so I want to make sure we're on the same planet Is that it? Is that it? Yes, yeah, I told you yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm good old flow. That's good stuff. I'm telling you I like that stuff. So we I got a couple I'll say this though I'm all about supporting small business because they're small business. I don't want to give them a free plug unless actually no, all right

But they put the what the prices they're going crazy. Yeah, well, they know. But they put the, what, the prices, they're going crazy with you? Well, they know they got some fucking more on the other end. It's like a cup like this big and it's like 15 bucks. But they come with like cute little like, they're like DIY kits. So it'll be like, you know, like, this is like cactus fun and it'll be like little cactus charms and like a mason slime.

Are you gonna put it in your hair? No. Or like on your arm hair? No. I do that. Why? Just to see that. Floem, you do that.

Not slime will fucking stick. I know. Why? I don't, why would you do that? I feel like it would be cool to watch like, when I, I don't know. When I have, when I have stuff like that, I put it on my hair and then I watch it like either like take my hair or it's like it moves it. You know

Yo, that's do it don't do it and like tell me that you don't but is it so you could see through it, right? Yeah, okay, some of them some of them some of them some of them when I was a kid I you say you know again Ivan ooze, you know, like Ooze, Ooze, Slime, Gack, Floam. I love how you said again, and then you said Ivan Ooze. Like, we've been talking about it. But like, it was a big, like, we were the years of like Ooze, Slime, Gack, Floam, Slime. And I remember I would always get like toys and slime,

and I would make it so like, oh, and you slime the hell yeah. But what I did, I actually got in a lot of trouble and my parents stopped buying me slime was, do you remember upstairs in like, like, we had like the, like, it's not, it's like carpet like this, but it's like more like, like fake, not like real, it's like neat, like nylon, like all the yesterday, you know what, you know what I'm talking about, right? It's like cheap turf. Yeah, exactly, yes.

It's just, you had that carpet. Yeah. And I remember I like put my toys at the base of my dresser and I was, and I put slime at the top. Oh, you got him so good. I fucking put it at the top and I just left it and I was like, I'm gonna wake up in the morning and they're gonna be fucking slimed. And fucking sly and boy were they you went to sleep

The reason I remember so how is it moving though it goes so slow so viscous oh So viscous so you like I don't have that kind of time I don't know so I like put it like this and like it just like like falls out like just like it's gonna get them Oh, you know and then eventually and I remember the reason I remember is because I had two Godzilla toys that I loved so much one was from the 1998 Roland Emmerich one the one with Matthew Broderick unnecessary details for sure before firestein and the other one was a you're not this is the deepest of cut that you'll never get one One person watching this will get it.

His name was Gigan. He was a fucking Godzilla villain who had like hooks for hands and like laser eyes and spikes on his back. Pretty sick. Okay. But I was like, oh, this line is gonna get them. Yeah.

Woke up the next morning. It got him. Yeah. Also got the carpet. Oh, and then it come out. It was there to the day that carpet got torn up. Wow. Yeah. Did it stain or was it just in the carpet. Oh, didn't it come out? It was there to the day that carpet got torn up. Wow. Yeah, it was, did it stain or was it just in the carpet? It was in the carpet and then it dries and you can't, at the time, no one knew how to get it out now. We know. How do we get it out?

Vinegar. Oh, it breaks it down. I, Ruby, one day played with slime and got it all over like a pair of pajamas or hers, like bad. It's got slime in its house. And I just put it in a bowl, filled the bowl with vinegar, came out like this, lickety split. Yeah. Yeah. So. Mr. Slime, Frank Slime Alvarez. This is just Slime Boy.

I'm Slime Boy Alvarez. You're a slime ball. Don't! Don't. So, you know, I got it. There's the one the one popular slime brand on there It's what they're called like peachy babies or something like that peachy babies Yeah, Kim Kardashian bought slime from them. So now we're like me and Kim K. Or like Slime brothers. We're

Slime slime boy connected by slime connected by slime remember like they had like the Nickelodeon TRL was called slime time live I Do not I guess that sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah, it was it was wild There's also a documentary coming out about Nickelodeon people. Yeah, that one dude. It was like I'm trying to sniff all these kids' feet Go watch it. Yeah, well watch the trailer. I don't know. It was it was Schneider wasn't it? It's not Dan Snyder I think, or Schneider. One of them. Which one was the owner of the commanders? Snyder.

So maybe it's Schneider. Yeah. Dan Snyder is the owner of the. Not a good couple of years for Dan Snyder's. The Snyder's and the Snyder's are like, you know. They're really not having a good couple of years. But yes, there's something else that I saw that, I don't know if you remember, do you remember a couple months ago we spoke about a Penn State professor who got caught fucking

dogs in a park? Do you remember? I'll say this. Yeah, yeah, I just thought something, you forget. Is this something you forget? No, it's not. The amount of shit we talk about on the show No, I know but I'm not gonna forget a guy banging it

Yeah, he got fired because he was caught like in a park fucking a dog as he should you can't just as he should fuck dogs As he should get fired No, I'm saying of course you should be fired you were going with that as he should fuck No, I'm saying of course you should be fired. I thought you were going with it as you should fuck go. No, no, no. He got fired. Did he go to J? He went to J or P?

J out of prison? I figured, I was picking up what you were putting down with J and P, Joey. I think there's like an ongoing investigation because... What is, what is, proof? Well, it's not, the burden of proof relies on the state or the prosecution in that part. It feels like an open shut case for me Honestly, well, you never you never never don't make me a judge first of all guy Greek man not doing us Greeks any favors Yeah, okay because but I have a story pulled up here. Wait. Why are we talking about this guy?

For fun Joey. Well, why do you think there's more news about mr. Oh? Yeah, first of all, so his name them is Matsukas Matsukas Matsukas. Oh, this sounds like a Greek and Japanese guy at the same time Yo, if I were first of all it the name looks very Greek, but he looks very Greek and Japanese at the max Matsuka It sounds like Matsui That's the guy. That's the guy looking looking guy why don't you show fuck a woman well he apparently it was or a man more into yeah whatever how about this a human anything anything yeah anything that is above age of what is that consent yes yes yes I'm glad you went there also a living with them with

a pulse right we have to do all this because this guy's out of here fucking dog so you have to make sure that because this guy's out of your fucking dog So you have to make sure that he knows the problem in parks Like in state parks. Yeah, I'm not condoning having sex with the dog, but definitely don't do it at a park Yeah, double definite there double definitely don't do either definitely don't do either them But like also definitely don't but our boys back in our boys back in the news your boy really I almost went to Penn State fun fact I like they kept you didn't fun fact I hope you all had fun so an after David which you

obviously know what that is I actually do how. How do you spell it? A-F-F-A-F-A-F-A-D-I-V-A-T. Wow. Wrong. I know what it is. That is right. A-F-F-I-D-A-V-I-T. It's enough of a mistake where I can make you feel like I can belittle you. Thank you.

But so they went through, because of the investigation, they went through his iPad and they found 55 videos on there. Oh no, dude. Don't tell me this. Uh, he was in a kennel filmed at the time. That would be the, at least it would be indoors if it's in a kennel. Yeah, but it's a bunch of dogs. Oh, you mean like a building kennel?

Yeah. Isn't that what that's called? A kennel is like the small crate. I thought a kennel could also be like the whole thing. Well, I think so. A collection of kennels. So a lot of the videos were filmed around his initial arrest back in June of last year.

And they paint, as it says here, a harrowing picture depicting the academic donning a ski mask in no pants while getting into some risky business. Ski mask? Honestly, honestly. Serious question. Yeah. Ski mask? Honestly, honestly. Serious question. Yeah. Ski masks. Are they even used for skiing anymore?

I've never. Have you ever seen a ski mask on someone and just go like, they're gonna go skiing? I'm afraid of ski masks. They've become like a part of pop culture that like they're no longer for skiing. They're like associated with like what the movies believe criminals look like or like a rolled up black beanie.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, that's just a ski mask that they've raised, I think. Oh. Skye. I'm sorry, I'm not in touch with the fucking ski mask community. You've seen movies with criminals. Can't figure it out?

Yeah. But yeah, ski mask, I don't think I've ever even worn one to be honest with you. So in addition to the obvious, you know, criminality behind the fucking dogs, there is videos of him jerking off onto various park items, including a picnic table and a watercraft. What's a watercraft about? A boat? I think it's maybe not a... Like a tube?

Maybe not a full, maybe a tube, maybe it's a paddle boat. A jet ski? How would you do that? A jet ski, not a full maybe a tube. Maybe a maybe it's a paddle boat I do that a jet ski not a park skit skied on a jet ski. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that, but also Parks parks. Why park items like you jerking off on the monkey bars? So I'm just guy shoot this guy real hard. What's up? You did monkey bars? last time I did Monkey Bars? 10 years ago. 10 years? I don't know.

Nice try, Joey. What? Is that wrong? There are also clips of a bit more concerning showing him shoving lollipops and tree branches up his ass. Bro. Lollipop. Fine. Fine. I could see a place for a lollipop. You could see someone pop and their shit would have popped.

But a tree branch might do. Bro, tree, that sounds like some evil dead horny wild shit. Yeah. What are you doing? Tree branches? Have you ever seen a tree branch and look at it and just go like that would fit my ass great No, not one tree not a single one a tree branch. Oh, yeah, and also like Bent I'll say this lollipop. I know there are freaks out there

You know there are freaks out there that are like shovel lollipop in your ass and then put it in my mouth Right. Yeah, that I feel like that probably happens all the time What kind of lollipop you hoping it was? Strawberry blow pop. Or a watermelon. Watermelon. I don't want any of those like, if they were lollipops that you get at like a bank

where they're like white and green and orange, they're good. But don't, those aren't meant for assholes. Yeah, no, they're too flat. Like. Well, they're not meant for assholes because of the fact that they're lollipops. They're lollipops, they're not neither none of them are Butt holes, oh hear me out. Okay

Sugar daddies Kind of like kind of asshole shaped. Yeah, but it's like poop But it's caramel. I know you love those things do why do you love? Sugar daddy's not like the pop not like Frank loves having a sugar daddy You also said like you love those right after we said asshole, and it was like I'm indifferent on assholes. I guess yeah Sugar daddy's yeah kind of if you're thinking about I would say a blow pop is probably like the best Tootsie pop Push pop.

Okay. Kind of dildo shaped? It's yeah, it's the shape of like a doctor's finger. And you can wear it on your hand. Fair. You could wear it, you could have a whole hand of push pop. I've done that, you've done it? I think I have, but I can't recall.

You know what I miss? Do you remember the push pop that was three? I do oh Not a normal not a not a normal reaction Literally not thinking about the slide So I think they were called like triple action push pops and that's fucking sexual as hell red green and blue I do I do fucking slide one up and you can fucking suck the green and then you can slide it down, go for red. Yeah. Oh God.

I remember that. And it reminds me of those pens where it had like different colors. Different colors. Oh, there was like all of them at the top. Yeah, and you just like press it down. It's like, oh, I have a green pen. If I red pen, I have a blue pen.

Yeah, but like, that was stupid. No, it was very, uh. We could agree, right? No, I liked it. I liked having that pen. Bro, do you remember that it was like 2003, like our fifth grade year? We are unable to stay on any topic

Can you remember they came out with like it was like a pen Mechanical pencils stylus and it was like a like a big bitch. I Remember like all like the Asian kids we knew showed up with them and I was like I need to have this They always had the best fucking pencil bro What if I saw Alan Dixon and Tiffany with it? Oh, I was like this is the new cool thing that I need bro unbelievable shit You don't remember those I don't wait. It was a pencil as a mechanical pencil. It was three and one It was a stylist. It was like what's your stylist stylus bro. Like for like a pet like a yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there was no iPads back then they had it for the pencil Okay, and then you turn it and it was a mechanical pencil

Turn it again. Oh, yeah, it was like a turning it would be like it would go. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes God those things are sick. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did all the Asian kids have all the cool pencils? Bro, they would, I would be like, I'd feel so cool because I'd get like the big mechanical pencils. And they'd come in with the fucking- And then they would come in with one that had like gel like on the finger.

And I was like, let me live. Yeah, it's like a little fish tank in the middle of it. I'm like, what is this? They did have six pencils. Like, how the fuck is this? Although those pencils where if you lost the piece of the lead, it was ruined. You know the ones that like, you kind of? He did have six pencils. Like, how the fuck is this? Although those pencils where if you lost a piece of the lead, it was ruined, you know the ones that like,

you kind of like reload like a fucking AR. I love those by the way. Yeah, I want, you know, it's crazy you mentioned Tiffany. I remember asking her for pencils multiple times. She always told me no. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's true. She was trying to quarter the pencil market.

I think that she was, well, I don't think she was selling them. Be honest. What? You would have stole it. I wouldn't have stole it. You would have given her her pencil back. No one how sick Pencil she oh, yeah, I know I'm leaving with the pencil. That's what I'm saying She probably knew that she had them all like fucking perfectly like Like right on her desk and she had like four and I was like can I get one? She was like no

I was like bitch you gonna break three. I gotta say life was sick When like you can like have like I gotta say, life was sick when you can have a cool binder. You know, like that was like, now kids are going to school with Stanley Cups and fucking, you know, like- I bet- Vera Bradley, Perces, and fucking- Vera Bradley makes Perces?

I think so. I thought they were just like, Duffels. I don't know, but- I hear you. Yeah. Pencil cases, but I hear you. Yeah. Pencil cases I fucked with hard pencil cases, binders, dude, a new pair of scissors. Love that.

Bro crayons, markers. The box of crayons was like sharpen this crayon. I was like, I didn't even think that six crayons could be sharpened. Bro, the 64 box of crayons was such a flex. If someone pulled that out, you immediately thought how you were gonna steal it. Oh my God. Bro, we like recently,

like there's like a bunch of people that like do like, you know, like they leave garbage on the curb for people to like, you know, take it or get picked up or whatever. Yeah, that's a society, Frank. That's what we all do. I'm saying, we found a box of crayons, like legit a briefcase and you open it

crayon crayons dude Sick, I didn't know there was that many colors. It was like a thousand crayons. How many colors do you think there are? In the world like a thousand. I think there's way more than that But people are making up colors all the time now. They'll be like oh, it's a different shade Then it has to be a different color. How many well there's that big like graph? You know like when you go on a computer Yeah, how many colors are there in the world? I'll give you a fucking hint ain't a thousand

I'm looking because you know there's like when you go on like a Like oh, no, I'm gonna need an answer. Can you listen to me? I'm gonna tell you how I'm gonna, because you know there's like, when you go on like a... Oh no, I'm gonna need an answer though. But can you listen to me? I'm gonna tell you how I'm gonna help get to that. When you go on like a computer and you can like pick the color and it has like a... It has like a... It's like a big rectangle. Yeah, and you can draw it. And it has like the... Yeah, it has like black over here, white over here, then everything in between. Right.

100,000. 100,000. First it said probably 10 million, and then it's like realistically probably infinite. Probably, right? Yeah. Because like, why are you saying probably right when you said a number that was so wrong? I'm just thinking like,

like you're on my side. To the naked eye, you could probably make the distinction between maybe 10,000 or 100,000 colors. colors But like if it's like the pigment is like point 001 different from that one then technically yes, you can get into the infinite discussion right right But no you can I think you can see 10,000 10 million different colors So you've ever been to a paint shop, bro They have a bunch of chips with a bunch of different fucking paints speaking of lollipops remember lollipop paint shop

Do you remember that shit? Can't do it you remember Do I yeah, it was a fucking lollipop that was shaped like a paintbrush that you dunked in sugar in a bucket of sugar I'm gonna sugar that it was attached to and then shove it in your stupid mouth And I remember the commercials it was like first you gotta lick it, you lick it, then you dip it. Oh god. I love those. Baby bottle pops? Baby bottle pop.

Baby pop pop. Baby bottle pop. Lick the bottle, dip it and shake it. Then lick it again. Yo baby bottle pops, that shit is hard. I'm just saying we lived in the prime of like lollipops Yo, you know you loved me when we were younger what stupid as fucking candy ever Franky loved this shit He would have it by the pens of packs, but it would just be a spray. Oh

Yeah, it's sour and it's just a spray. He would be like Yeah And I would and it was like a like a lunchroom party trick that I would spray it in my eyes and that I would Then we would fill up the cap with as much as we could and so you can take a shot without getting like without win Oh, I swear to God. I completely forgot Frankie would spray it. He's like, yeah, look at this You remember the other party the other party trick I had? No. You remember Denteen Ice, the little liquid balls?

Yeah. I would lick them and pop them in my eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, I mean unbelievable. We're in the presence of greatness right now. We also have Spots to get to. That's crazy. I just remembered. We'll get back to this guy fucking you know oak trees a word from our sponsors a word from our sponsors so we do have square space here square space is where you're gonna want to build your website okay if you got an e-commerce business or a small business or you make content or you wanna create a website,

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That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement. Okay. So yeah, if you're looking to find a new doctor and you don't know how to do it and you don't know who takes your insurance, here you go. Go to ZockDoc.com slash basement, plug it all in if you're a holistic health expert, okay, we got some holistic, natural, good medicine for you. Over on Patreon, patreon.com. What cures your illnesses better than a little laughs, a little chuckles and giggles?

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I'm very, I just spit it. I just spit a ton. Yeah, so this guy's fucking lollipops. No, we were talking about how you were spraying sour candy into your eyes. We were, but back to him fucking lollipops. Oh. Oh yeah.

And tree branches, I think. The tree branches is the wild, I mean, the criminality is obviously, apparently he's doing this in the park. By the way, if you to get fucked by a tree Don't record it Well, you know fuck a tree. I mean this are you allowed to fuck trees? You could fuck branches take him to your house. I mean if you bring him home

Yeah, you gotta bring him home obviously at a park. I mean you can't pull out your bunghole at a park I will say this I've seen some parts of a tree that look like yeah they look like yeah you know bro I've seen some trees we got some fat asses dude. Fucking ass bro I'm talking like a like a like a like a flimpe. Oh like they got vaginas? Yeah dude. Oh I've seen that too. You had a vagina tree on your block. Whoa whoa whoa whoa chill chill chill hold on take it easy before you're gonna do it was a tree on Frankie's block that's went off like this and then we used to go over to him be like and like we're rubbing it's

busy in the middle it just like you know yeah, so it's like we were rubbing a tree's puss well like oh listen man Before four on four phones you had to do anything you could there was no porn for us We just had trees that had seemingly vaginas. No there was porn there was but we didn't have access. No, we did okay But like it was hard when it was so hard We did, but like it was hard. When it was so hard to get your hands on porn back then. Or because you can't watch porn because the only way you can get it is-

Was in the family computer, which was in the middle of the living room. Yeah. Literally where it was like everyone was watching. So like, it was hard. So you had to find your thing. God forbid. God forbid?

God forbid. I was gonna say God forbid my dad was out and my mom was like taking a bath. I'd be like, oh my God, this is a perfect time. your thing godf-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f Yeah, I mean, you know you gotta watch porn in your own living room trees wait living room When your computer was there you never did my computer was never in my living I would always Google like fucking girls or something When you're young you're like, I don't know what to look for so you're like girls Just go girls shirts I wish I wish I wish I wish there was like a way to see like the family computer 2003 search history because well like you didn't know how to look up porn so Big boobies naked wet yeah No, it's just like or the way that you had to do it back then before it was like readily available was like

Fucking line wire and yeah, I'm bear share just shit like that Yeah, typing in like wet t-shirt contest Cancun and then downloading the first three videos. And then you'd always get one that was just like, do you remember, I don't know if you remember it, I think we've spoken about it on the show, but like you download your music there, you would give, you would basically give your whole computer

like the most wild fucking virus. Uncurable venereal disease on the planet. 100%. But then there was always like, you download a version of whether it be a Porto or whatever and it was like, someone trying to sound like Bill Clinton. Yeah, it was like a political like-

It was like, I did not vote in this primary. It was like spam. What do you do? I just want- I'm here for porn, not Bill. I just want to hear, you know, some fucking Natasha Bet I dude. I just I just want to hear you know some fucking Natasha beddingfield I don't want to have to hear this. Oh, yeah that I was talking about when you download porn either way Yeah, porn Natasha beddingfield same shit. Yeah different stuff. Well different, but shat's in Natasha beddingfield by the way great songs

Which ones? Unwritten pocketful of sunshine. Pocketful sunshine. These words? These words are my own from my heart so Bang, bang, ba-bang. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. Damn, she had-

Shit is crazy, yeah. We had a- a- a game for the Wii growing up that was American Idol. Do you remember that? No. And that song was on there. Yeah Natasha Benningfield's got hits dude. She does. The Shady hits too. She's also got a full bag of laundry as well. I think we've talked about

Natasha Benningfield I think quite a bit. She popped up on my thing the other day on like Tick Tock. Oh she was like singing a song and like running through a field and then the commas were like- Good for her. The commas were like, yo, what the fuck? She's got a pocket full of sunshine! She had a pocket full of sunshine. Two pockets! Well, you know what's funny is I'm having the ultimate fucking form of like, deja vu right now.

I think we've had this exact conversation. Probably, I mean exact conversation. She's a beautiful woman. We respect you and your music. But, unwritten by the way, could be top 50 all-time songs. I think I've ever heard I would need to hear it again Unwritten sing it babe staring at the blank page before you looking up That shit is so hard that's I thought that was not calling written. I thought it was I didn't I didn't know yeah, the rest is still on written is how that ends

Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, you did a little Hamilton to it at the end there. You know, I respect it. The Hamilton did? Yeah, like Hamilton like to play. Oh, I know. Yeah. But how did I do that?

I don't know. Like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah We're doing all these terms, vibrato, take it easy. So here's the question I pose you. Obviously we're not doing types of trees or whatever because we don't know many types. I don't know any. I know some. Spruce. Spruce. No, I know what they look like.

A spruce is a Christmas tree, right? Or a Douglas fir. Douglas fir. It sounds like an insurance company. You're gonna have spruce's fur's, balsam fur, you know? Why do you, sometimes when you say words it sounds like your mouth is circular.

It's like, boss over home. My mouth is circular, Joey. Well, like, you know what I mean? It's bulbous. It's like a circle fur, Yeah, like you do that. Oh, fuck it, forgive me. How should I talk please Douglas fur? I like Douglas. Okay. Okay. Okay

Douglas fire. Okay, you fucking loser. Thank you if you can have sex with three candies Candy or lollipops? lollipops Candy, I don't know like Which ones you doing I how am I going to Like, which one's you doing? How am I going to answer that? Which kind of- peach rings.

There it is, that's how you answer it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, peach rings, peach rings. Peach rings? Maybe if you warmed them up a little. Ill? They melt. That'll fucking- A little, a little warm up.

No dude. Not full warm. Like put them in your back pocket and sit down for an hour. No, like throwing the microwave for like five or like a six. You know, get a little warm. get a little well you're the sugar melt. I'm telling you you're getting dangerous sugar melt becomes lava No, I never see you ever seen those videos of people making candy pillows and stuff like that That fucking sugar is a thousand degrees. Well, that's what happens when you melt it I'm talking about putting it in for six seconds sugar has a low melting point, dude. Oh, what is it? Whoa? Sugar has a low melting point dude. Oh, what is it? Whoa?

It ain't that low it's low I'm just want to make it a little soft and then maybe slide in and out of it really yeah, I put it on like a cock ring Well, is do you have a different answer? Oh, I thought you were going like you know big fat putsy roll Oh, I thought you were going like, you know, big fat tootsie roll. I would like her. What? That's just like Clay. Well, to the to the uninitiated asshole like yours. Like mine too. Oh, you're talking about.

Oh, wait, first of all, you're talking about getting fucked by something. Or fucking either way. Yeah. I chose something that I was going to bang. You're choosing some choosing something that's going to bang you. Bubblegum. But like chewed bubblegum No

Do you think that if you put a water if you have like hubba bubble yeah, right? He ate like four of them big league chew that's that's my favorite. Okay. Okay, so let's say you got like a whole watermelon No one cares But you have a whole bunch of that right and you chew it up and then you put it on your butt And then you farted would it make a bowl? I'm 32 years old I'm literally 32. I just turned 32 and I asked that question. Yeah as it left my mouth. I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah, I would say we got to try it We don't we do I just want to put it out there because then maybe someone will be like yeah

This happened no Steve oh you gotta be careful because you're gonna get a bunch of DMs of people shoving bubblegum up their ass and just farting out fucking You know I won't and if I do the block button is gonna be going crazy Yeah, I'm just not gonna open DMs ever again feeling it's filled with bubblegum I can't I think it could happen Of course. Do you think you're a good bubble blower? and be like, it's filled with bubblegum, I can't. I think it could happen. Of course. Do you think you're a good bubble blower? I'm okay. Really?

I'm okay. I'm not bad, there's people who are pathetic at it. Yeah, I'm really a good bubble blower. You are, for some reason. You used to take your gum out of your mouth and like blow a bubble and then be like, yeah, wave it around. Like it was a balloon.

You love doing that for some reason I do especially in the cold Cuz it gets a little it gets a little hard. Yeah, you ever eat ice while you're chewing bubblegum. Love it, dude Why try it? Well, I don't know that it's hear me out. Okay. Go home. I don't need a lot of gum. All right. Well do it It's gum dude. I yeah get like a good bubblegum gum. Alright, well do it. It's gum, dude. Yeah. Get like a good bubble gum gum. What's a good bubble? Bubble yum. Those are both not bubble yum is good. Bubble yum, bubble, bubble. Bubble bubble is not great. Bubble tape. What's the double bubble? Double bubble, double bubble, double bubble. That's all but that's the one that you get in like

Halloween bags and it's good for a minute and then it's gone. And it's garbage, yeah, exactly. Um, bazooka. Bazooka. A big league chew. You love that shit. Oh my god, it's so good. It's okay. No, it's so good.

That's your favorite gum? I would say without a doubt my favorite gum. I mean, listen. Pop-tarts. Taco Bell. They don't make gum. Listen. Oh, and then hubba-bubba. Hear me out. Oh, no, big league chew. Pop-tarts. Taco Bell. They don't make gum. Listen. Oh, and then Hubba Bubble.

Hear me out. Oh, no, Big League Chew. Pop Tarts. Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Heated Battle right now. Very neck and neck. Neck and neck.

Neck and neck. It's crazy. Yeah, our lawyers are going insane. Big League Chew. Everyone loves an underdog. Everyone was really excited about the Arizona Diamondbacks, you know, sneaking their way into the World Series last year. Who doesn't like the Detroit Lions? You're naming baseball teams. Football teams, too.

Undo dogs is what I'm talking about here. There's a big league, there's a chance you could get in on the great baseman yard branding battle battle war? What was it? I don't know brand war right big brand basement yard branding big bidding war that Definitely isn't it and I'm not even certain, but I know that you there's a place for you That's all I'm gonna say in his house. There's also in our house. I mean, I would eat it you would it's not my first gum choice What's your first gum choice Joey Joey? I'm just putting this out there. I'm putting this out there. I also do like dentine ice cubes. They're good. Oh But I like those two the ones have like the little little like little balls in them. Yeah

I'm glad you said it if you sit here and give me like my favorite gum You know orbit. I'm gonna kill you. No, it's definitely not orbit. I'm gonna murder you. No, but what kind of gum? Are we talking about gum for like? I want, forget like, don't give me a gum that you like clean your teeth with. Yeah, that's what I mean.

I want like you, you're indulging. Getting some stupid gum. Yeah. It's the darker, what the fuck, what's the one with the duck on it? Bubble yum. It's the darker one of that. It's like a, like a,

The grape? It's not grape, no. It's like the, still the pink bubble gum flavor. But for some reason it's like, oh, maybe it's cotton canned. Ill. Ill. Ill. No, dude.

Ill, ill, ill. No, it's good. Cotton cape, cotton, cotton, C-cape? C-cape. Cotton capes. Candy flavored gum. It's good.

It's a good gum. I also like watermelon, bubble, bubble, bubble, whatever it is, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble. Yeah. I think if you put it on your ass real tight, you could fart and blow a bubble. Real tight. You could do it.

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use that code basement for the first deposit match. You're welcome. What were we talking about? I don't remember. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, right. Oh, the big brand bidding war. The basement yard, big brand bidding war of 2024. Wow, that all kind of like rhymes.

You like that, right? I don't. I'd be rhyming sometimes. I'm off the top of the dome. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to go down there. No, come on. Come on.

Go ahead. What do you want me to rhyme about? Nothing. I don't want you to. That's the whole point. What do you want me to rap about, though? Nothing. Give me a topic or a word you want me to include.

Bananas. Bananas. Bananas in pajamas of running down the stairs. Bananas and pajamas of chasing teddy bears. That's just the cartoon theme song. Wait, is that how that goes? That's the second line? Yeah, bananas and pajamas are coming down the stairs.

Bananas and pajamas are chasing teddy bears. That's kind of freaky. Who wrote that up? Let's put bananas and pajamas Oh, the Australians are on like they're like kid show fucking like shit really Bananas and pajamas never watch an episode by the way Teletubbies never watch an episode of that pretty sure that was past our like kid years, but pretty sure that's Australian the Wiggles I don't isn't that the teletubbies no different dude, but the same the Wiggles is you were just middle-aged men that's Australian the Wiggles. I don't isn't that the telly-tubbies? No different dude

But the same the Wiggles is you were just middle-aged men that's saying And now there's a woman in there bluey Big bluey fans over at the dog. Yes big bluey fans. Is that blue's clues? But like no separate separate This is Australian dogs just playing. What's Pete the Cat? You know, do you do that? I do do, we've done Pete the Cat

but I don't not big Pete the Cat fans. Okay. What are you doing? I mean, I don't... Oh, that's you don't have kids so you're not big. Well, I'm over there and like they do... Blippi. Love Blippi.

Blippi and Mika. We've come back. Who's Mika? It's Blippi's friend, Mika. Oh, they're boys? Yeah, they're cool. Love Blippi. Blippi and Mika. We've come back. Who's Mika? It's Blippi's friend, Mika. Oh, they're boys? Yeah, they're cool. They're like best friends. Miss Rachel.

Miss Rachel, big Miss Rachel fans in our house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Love Miss Rachel. Yeah. Is there any other like YouTube competitors to her? Pop-Tart. Frankie. Taco.

Taco. We should have Miss Rachel come in and ex- There was a zero percent chance that Miss Rachel comes into this fucking studio. We would destroy her reputation. We would absolutely. I don't wanna be on that fucking show with those idiots.

She's on like the today show, like saying how beautiful it is to make kids smile. And then we're sitting here talking about shoving popsicles up your ass. A lollipop. Oh, we didn't do it. That guy did I did yeah, that's not fair. We're talking. We're talking about it. We are we're guilty by Associates not on his crimes, but like yeah, we're talking about that stuff Listen, it'd be funny if miss Rachel wanted to like transition into like you know more like fun like adult humor Chances that ain't gonna happen. No, she seems like a very nice woman. She does. She does, but

she's got it. She knows she's got a down pat. She knows her brand and you know at this point she's probably become big enough that she has publicists and people working with her. Yeah, they're gonna say listen. People who will throw us into a van and like kill us probably, yeah. Is that what they do? I think, I don't know. What? That was just the thing I said. That was just the thing. Yeah, I didn't know if you knew something I didn't know. That was just a thing I said. That was just a thing. I didn't know if you knew something I didn't know. No, I have no idea actually. But Joey, speaking of children's programming,

we actually have one other thing to speak about today. Not what I don't know. It was a story. So there was someone that came out online, I don't know if it was Reddit or TikTok, or one of those. One of the ones. Where people just feel like they can just tell

everyone all their secrets. Yeah, and they had worked as a person like in costume at like Disneyland or Disney World like people that dress up like Mickey Minnie They're like performers. Yeah, and she said that Middle-aged drunk women love to go to Disney and grop Mickey Mouse Middle-aged drunk women love to go to Disney and grope Mickey Mouse. Make so much sense, honestly. But like, in the story she was telling, she was like, yeah, they were telling me like their hotel room and like their numbers and to show up and fuck them and stuff like that.

Dude, honestly, that's how I picture like a lot of like mid, like I would say like 48 year old Bob White wine moms are at Disney being like, I want to get drilled by Daffy Duck. Daffy? I don't know. I'm not saying me. I'm saying them. Goofy's probably got a fucking hammer on him, bro.

Yeah, Goofy's got a stupid silly one. Are you kidding me? He's probably got a long, silly one. The hook? And he's got a fucking, you know he's got that yuhuck downtown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably no. You don't make your mouth his first name? Michael. He's got a fucking you know, he's got that you'll hook downtown

You don't make your mouth's first name Michael no, dude What is it Mortimer? What is he a grease you what is like what is that? It's like something you protect your deck with it's like I put more tomorrow on it if it rains it's fine the fuck yeah just rub shove into Mortimer in on that shower it'll be nice and see Mortimer what a name dude it was all those names back in the 20s where it would be like ah the best boy name in this year Mortimer the second one Eustace yeah that sucks Ulysses like what the fuck are we saying hold on I come back around on Ulysses a pretty cool name. No, it's not.

No? It's not. Any name that begins with a U, like what are we doing here? Ursula? That's not bad. That's a cool name. That's not bad. Your big sea witch.

Ursula. It does sound like a good dish. Ursula? What other U names are there? Ulysses? I was about to say Eugene. I mean I guess That's an E though. Um, what other you names are there? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. It should as whack. Oh Uganda or I think you mean Uganda and that's a country

No That's a country Unger hunger that's I know someone that's their last name that sucks. They're pretty cool dude I want to look up you names what it's gonna be like fucking just communicated like whales back there Did you hear that? Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh. Uh, names that start with you. It's going to be like, you, you, you, you Ulysses. We just said that one.

Ulysses. Yeah. Uh, Urban. Urban. Like Urban Meyer. Oh, okay. I guess. Uh, Ulrich.

Oh, like Skeet Ulrich? Yeah. That's a, that's a last name, bro. Skeet is not a first name. I don't think it's, I don't think it's a real name is Skeet Ulrich. Yeah, that's a first. That's a last name bro. Skeet is not a first name He that both of those names. I don't think his real name is Skeet That's a bad nickname to have to there's the 90s. No one cared. You're Raya. I don't hate that I don't like that's actually I like that one umar Never heard of a new more, but I guess that works

Ugo Ugo go go come on. I don Ugo. Ugo. Come on. I don't want to make fun of them in case that they're like, you know, names of like, religions I don't understand, but... Ugo? Yeah, kind of. Uh, and then we have Uma. Uma Thurman. Uma?

Uma. Which is that stupid to me. It's so close to Puma, which is a sick name. That is, Puma is, Puma's are dope. Puma's are really sick. They're quick, aren't they? They're all, they're all cats. Not the question. The cats are all quick.

That's what I'm saying. Are they? They're a slow cat. Garfield. Well, he's a fat cat. Yeah, fat cats. They get fat. But he's succumbed to obesity.

I'm saying like, if you you get like a cat in not fat They're all think about it Fastest cats lions tigers Puma's Jaguars cheetahs leopards minks is links is Ocelots Ocelots all fat. It's like a big you never seen an ocelot. They're like domesticated cheetahs. Oh Oh, I have seen that they have big teeth big bitches. I want to they've got like the extra hair on their ears I would get one Are they safe? I don't know. Try it out. I don't know. I don't know. That thing will murder Charlie in its sleep. Well yeah, Charlie, I mean.

A bee could kill that dog. He's just like the softest, like cuddly little guy. You know what they say, they take the personality of their owner. Yeah, I'm a little cuddly, soft guy. You know what? You turned that around on me and I really like how you did that. You thought I was gonna defend my position. Now I look like the asshole. Yeah, like, you're so hard. Good job. You thought I was gonna defend my position. Now I look like the asshole. Yeah, you're so hard. Good job. Tough, honestly, good job.

Thank you, Dad. I don't even know what. Yeah, so these fucking middle-aged women are going and they wanna jerk off Mickey Mouse. So someone was on Reddit being like, yo, I work at Mickey Mouse. The weirdest part is that it was a woman and she was just like- Oh, it was a woman?

They think that it's like the male characters are all men are men and the female characters are all women and it's like anyone could do either I guess it would make more sense for female to do male than it but nonetheless like imagine like groping Mickey Mouse yeah very weird what is that first of all these Disney I love Chardonnays bro shark, Chart, Chardonnays. Making Mouse starts like, yeah, Chardonnays. Chardonnays, horny goatweed for ladies. Yeah, it is. It is. It is 100%. Cialis for middle-aged women.

It is. Yeah. Fucking, it's the lady, she Viagra, Chiagra. Yeah, it is. Chardonnay. Unbelievable. I've seen a video of a woman, she goes, she goes, Jesus. She goes to take a picture with Gaston. Now, if we're gropin'. So she went like this, right? To him, she was taking a picture and then she turned around and she went like this to his pecs.

Yeah. And the guy got pissed. He's like, get the fuck out of here. No. Yeah, he sent her off and she's like, no, I'm just kidding. He's like, no, I'm fucking, get out. I don't think they can talk. It's like a rule that like they're not supposed to talk in there.

He wasn't wearing a hat. He was a dude. He was a. Oh, a real life guy. I don't think they can talk. It's like a rule that like they're not supposed to talk He wasn't wearing a head. He was a dude. He was a oh a real life guy Was the soup no, he was oh you can't you can't grow up a real person. Oh, don't grow up anyone. No, he was wearing like Like that very clear He was wearing like a styrofoam suit that made him like look bigger But it was like his actual face and like yeah, don't do that lady So she went like this and he was he was like get out of here Well, he's known to be an asshole this time he's not like now

well they they're under strict rules to I know dude they're like I actually I know someone that's working at Disney right now I should probably ask him about like what this stuff like what the rules actually are but like apparently it's like they can't talk they can't make noise yeah they can't like don't take your head off and smoke a sig yeah like, like you need to be deep in the catacombs of Disney in order to get that done. But like that's why you see them in like, you know, like they use their hands so much

because they can't talk or make noise. Dude, it was actually funny. The last time I was there, I was there with my whole family and my sister just wanted to take a picture with, I think Winnie the Pooh. Honestly, yeah. But Winnie the Pooh, it was like a celebrity was walking by

because he has security guards. Cause like you can only take pictures with those characters, specific characters. And like specific areas. At areas, cause there's like a line that's. Yeah, I remember. I mean, it's been a while since I've been, but I remember that.

So he was walking and Shannon's like, oh, I wanna, and they were like, no. But then someone was just taking pictures of her or whatever, so she ended up like getting it anyway, but it wasn't like they posed, she just got a picture. Dude, I remember when the last time I've been to Disney World was I think like 2000, 2001. And I remember, yeah, yeah, it's tough here. It was before Q4, I hope so. It was before Q3. Oh, that's and I remember, yeah, it was tough year.

It was before Q4. Yeah, it was before Q3. Oh, that's what I mean, yeah. Yeah, and I remember, like, because we had, we got like the autograph books and we were like so excited and everything. One character who was a real asshole to us. Snoop.

Snoop? Snoopy, I was gonna say, but that's not. Snoopy is not a Disney character. Yeah, who? not a Disney character. Yeah, who? Take a wild guess. Uh... Who just gives off a little bit of chaotic, kind of not fun vibe.

Tasmanian devil. Again, not a Disney character. Really? You've somehow guessed two non-Disney characters. Many. No, she was, from what I remember, fine. Okay. Rafiki.

Wasn't about us, dude. And I was like what the hell dude like you're cool I love how you crack open that fucking thing. Yeah, and you paint for a paint forehead Just not a big he was like nah, yeah, he was just like did he have a stick He had the staff damn he did so we had a you know we were young kids We were afraid didn't want to get fucking everybody hit someone the head I do remember that shit that could hurt a Young boy it could kill it. It could it be it hurt a lion and they are meant to take a little bit more of a beating than us of course so

Damn sorry about that. Yeah, well ruined it forever hasn't been back maybe one day though I haven't maybe I don't know I want to go with the kids one day But I have to wait until they're a little older because it you You have to wait until you have $10 billion to afford it. Because it's- Fuck affording, just like the absolute nightmare of going to Disney with children. I can't even imagine it. It's, you need like a full,

like my sister did it with the kids and like she had like both my parents there with their significant others, like it was like a job. Yeah, I can't. It was work, vacations with kids a job. Yeah, it was work. Vacations with kids is not vacations, it's work. Yeah, just work outside the house. I got a Hampton house like last summer for my family and afterwards my sister was just kind of like I appreciate it and like whatever but like this isn't a vacation. It's not

because it just makes it hard. You have to have all the shit. Don't forget about having it, but just like, something that you'll maybe see one day when you have kids is like, when the kids are out of their element, it's just like a fucking, it's like a new world for them. They don't give a shit.

They won't sleep. They won't eat. They won't do anything because it's just like, where is this? We're on another planet Yeah, having a dog is a little similar except they just shut up. They just pee and throw up on stuff Anyway, that's that's what humans do too Joey. That's all for this week's episode Frank Where can they find you at the alberta did a panel on Twitter the Frank Albers and all the forms of social media

And you go check out the basement yard on all forms of social media forms of social media and you go check out the basement yard on all forms of social media. Patreon.com slash the basement yard the basement yard.com Joe Sannegato, Sannegato Studios, every guy, every guy, everywhere. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at the basement yard and that is all. See you guys next time.