The Basement Yard - #442 - The Saddest Songs In The World
Episode Date: March 18, 2024These Songs are tear jerkers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the bas-
BASSMEN YARD
Welcome back to the Basement Yard.
What are you doing?
I'm tipping my cap toed him, yeah!
Okay.
I have to- I'm running out of ways to open the shows.
I open them.
Oh, but I kinda- I think people look forward to me more than you.
Probably, I'm not gonna lie.
I hope so. Please, please, please, please, please.
I feel like, let's see what Frank's wearing today or something.
Well, normal clothes. What are you? Are you okay? What? Blue head to toe? What's going
on? No, I'm just, yeah.
Grey pants though. But blue background, blue hat. You're really liking that hat. That's
like a third day that you've worn in the last two weeks.
Really? I don't know. I just grabbed it because it's
like the light blue and the light blue. Just wear more hats. Just get more hats.
I have other hats. then just wear other ones. I okay. It's not that hard I matched
Too much too matchy though. Yeah, would you agree?
Maybe I saw your eyes dart toward my shirt you were ready to start making fun of what I'm wearing
I was just gonna say that you're not matching
It's a loose match. It's a loose match. No, it's not.
What?
What?
The shoes?
This whole outfit, Frank, it's all over the place.
I highly disagree.
I'm wearing a navy blue shirt.
I can see that.
A green hat.
Correct.
Greens and blues go together.
What's with the bracelet, by the way?
Is your daughter making that or something?
Yes, yes, actually.
Well, actually, this one was made by my wife, but my daughter also made me one.
And you left that one at home. I just, I'm such a little like, you know, like.
Oh, I have a question for you.
Okay, your turn.
Absolutely.
Yeah, well, I started that.
Everything.
I'm canceling that turn.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
There was a question on TikTok.
It was like, wife, daughter, mom,
in what order, or like, what's the order of importance?
Ooh, like overall importance?
Yeah, just like if you had to rank them.
You're asking me to upsettle like, you know.
No, no, no, I think that they're-
Personally, because you have one of those things right now.
Yeah, you have one that we know of.
Maybe there's some little- There isn't.
Yeah, you never know. little Josephine's running around
Just gonna rock
You know, okay
I mean importance that's such a weird. No, it's a input. It's just like rank them. No, no like fuck Mary kill
It's a joke Joey
It's a joke Joey
Yeah, it is a full joke um okay
Let's say Like rank burning house down who's in first?
Am I throwing people into that?
That's not
Feed the fire someone's gotta go in no, but it was like oh right
I forgot how they proposed the question, but it was something like I know you're saying
It's like when when when you have all three as a man. What's where they fall where do they fall I think I?
Love my mother my mom is last of course she's my mom is last of course
I love her so much unless you're Italian and you live in her basement. Well they would say
Italian and you live in her basement, they would say one. Italians, my mother, my mother.
That's out of fear because their mother,
at the fucking age of 32,
will still beat the dog shit out of them.
Props, props, props.
Mom is last.
I would say daughter first and wife second.
That's my answer too.
That's my answer too.
Because, I mean, that's not discrediting Becca
in any capacity but like first of
all take your actual family out of this we're talking about hypotheticals here I
don't want to actually have this conversation. You want me to murder my wife?
That's not what I'm saying. No no no I know it's just like I like and I I've asked
Becca this too like who do you love more me or the kids and it's a different
type of love but obviously the answer is the kids yeah and that's okay well I't think it's about love. I know like you have it's like you're fucking I do it
It's a character. I do if I'm being honest, I play like hyper alpha male, bro
Oh, yeah, it's like if you fucking like anyone other than me
I swear to God like yeah, you will never send a text message ever again
I've seen some people who say like their mother first their mother over their wife. I'm like, that's bananas
I think that's I did that or bananas if I did that my mom would be
like you're a fucking idiot I would hope so yeah and also your wife would be like
you're a fucking idiot yeah definitely hurt no I think like it's as your family
gets so I've learned like as your family your immediate family gets bigger it
also gets smaller you know what I mean? Like as your core, like you get married,
whether it be to man, woman, however you identify,
and then you have children, it's like the walls close in.
The most important thing is what's in those fucking four
walls of your home.
And then, you know, I'll save,
not save you, but I'll save this.
Save me, what am I gonna do?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
What I'm saying is, I think that it's your child.
Actually, I don't know if I mean what I'm about to say.
I would say your child is first.
Yeah.
Not even just daughter, child.
Until they're like 30,
and then you're switching back to your wife first.
I don't know, I mean, I was like, I don't know if I believe that.
I'm not there, I'm not there yet, obviously. But like, I feel like you can't ever, like, the love for a child is so specific and so
like fucking compact and like just so dense and rich that like you can't, it's true.
Like I don't know how else to explain it.
It's describing bread, basically. You can't it's true. Like I don't know how else to explain it bribing bread Loving a child is like a really fucking pound boys
It's dancin rich. Yeah, you can't like I love the kids in ways. I'll never be able to love Becca
Obviously vice versa. I would hope so. Yeah
But like you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, it's just it's too it's too much
I know I thought it was an interesting question though because there is a wrong answer and it is putting mom first
I said back. I was watching weird transition. I was watching Deadpool 2 the other day and
Have you seen it? Yeah, it's good. You should watch them. The third one comes out in the summer, but
This guy working on the film
Third one comes out. Ryan Reynolds is currently on board to possibly be a big brand big investor and Hugh
Mr. Jackman Hugh mr. Jack look at that seed listen
Give us your workout plan. It's online. It's ridiculous
It's like boiled chicken five times a day and it's like 60 grams of protein per it's stupid
60 grams of protein is not that much. Per meal.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
Like six times a day.
Yeah, no.
Oh my God, what are you, big poops.
Poops, his ass smells so shitty.
Yeah.
He's got the shittiest smelling ass.
But I'm watching, I'm watching Deadpool 2,
and without spoiling anything,
there is a scene where someone talks to someone
that is in the afterlife.
And like, I'm sitting there and I'm getting emotional.
I've been a big emotion, Frank, lately.
Me too.
I don't know what's in the water.
I don't know either.
I think this is how like Russia and trying to get us.
You know what I think?
I think it's the cucklib soy boys.
It is the cuck.
That they've infected us.
And now we're.
Too much veganism.
That's what it is.
And now.
Not enough red meat, not enough drop shipping or stocks.
Joe Biden is so invested in soy
and now we're all getting like super emotional for it.
Yeah, I think that's what's going on.
That's how they do, they come for the men first.
I've cried a lot this year, Elson.
Bro, I cried, I told you,
I cried with the pacifier thing with Ruby.
Well, that's a cryable offense.
I would be a mess.
It was pretty cryable. But watching Deadpool 2, he's talking about,
you know, meeting his,
someone is talking about meeting someone in the afterlife.
And I'm getting emotional.
And I said, I was like, it's hard for me to say this,
but like, I'm struggling with the idea that like,
if we die, like we might never see each other again.
I'm saying this to Becca.
And I'm imagining she's gonna be like,
sincere and sweet.
Did she shit on you?
So I'm imagining she's gonna be sincere and sweet.
Like at first she's like, yeah, well like you don't,
you know, what do you believe in?
And I was like, honestly, I don't know.
I think I'm finding out I'm more agnostic.
And she goes, I was like, yeah, like,
I don't even know where we're gonna be.
And she goes, I know where I'll be.
And I was like, am I going to hell?
That was the big guy told you? She's like, I know where I'll be and I was like, am I going to hell? That was the big guy told you?
She's like, I know where I'll be.
And I was like, God fucking damn.
So I guess I now I need to get my soul saved.
Oh my God, go to the South and get dunked in a river.
If we do basement yard experience shows,
which I don't know, honestly, they might be out,
but if we do a show and it happens to be within
the southern bible belt part of the United States can we go to like a like you can't just do a walk
in baptism you can do you can walk into a church and say save me they're gonna fucking roll out
the red white carpet whatever the carpets are for Jesus I actually don't know bro and then they're
gonna like fucking like and you're gonna be like Oh my god
I would commit to the bits
Have you ever seen the video of the girl going
She's in like one of those big churches
And she goes
I haven't had no sex
And then everyone starts clapping
And she's just like
And then she just starts running
Really? And running down the aisle
My favorite clip that has ever come out of any of those churches is the
I'm not gay no more.
Gay man being like, I'm not gay no more.
I'm delivered.
I don't like mens no more. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, an interview with him 10 years after, he's like, I am happily married to a man.
Gay as hell.
Yeah, but yeah, she fucking like told me
I might go to hell.
Nice.
You need that.
Do I?
It's like, she keeps you honest.
You know what?
She's like, hey, get better, you know,
or like have a, start getting a relationship.
Well, you know what?
Maybe after that line, maybe she's,
yeah, maybe she's below.
Speaking of gay, the whales are gay
So that's right something that we just found out recently on Twitter
I was scrolling and all of a sudden they're like by the way humpback whales gay and I was like what finally
I told you it's in the water. Wait. Oh, wait, do they have?
butts
Apparently they were fucking gay fucking yeah, how do I just let's just call it sex
Well, it's yeah, it's gay sex right they were like humpback whales for the first time in recorded history gay
Whaleness were being we're just fucking each other's butts. I'm gonna look this up. So like this is this is I love this
humpback whales caught
enjoying gay sex romp got him
You were trying to do it in private. We had a dive. Yeah, we got we got you two gay balls. I
Just love like now
Yo, yeah
Yeah, yeah, and it looks like a little
little interracial
Look at that. Little interracial?
Looks like two different shades of whale dude.
Gay interracial.
I don't think whales have races. They just have species.
I'm being comedy funny.
I know, I know.
I'm being comedy funny.
Fuck.
But yeah, it does look like we're knocking down walls.
Barriers. Multiple here.
Love this. So interracial, gay shit. Let's be honest. It does look like we're knocking down walls barriers multiple here love this so now racial gay
Let's be honest shit sounds like some of the cooler animals we have on this planet are gay
Honestly, if I had to pick one of the species of whale to be gay humpback. Yeah, it's like broke backs
It's in the it's in the name. It's in the name. Are you kidding me?
But now now we have confirmed cases of whales
dogs dogs
Penguins weird. Yeah, but weird I was getting on the
Elevator this morning when I had Charlie and there was a guy he had a dog and he was like
I was like, oh is he like friendly and he's a gaze friendly too friendly. He might be gay
I was like
I was like, what the fuck? He said, I don't even know you.
Yeah.
I was like, what?
This guy's outing his dog.
His dog probably looked up and he was like, bitch.
He's like, yo, what the fuck?
He's like, yeah, real friendly, could be gay.
I was like, what did that even begin to mean?
Don't you hate when people try to be like hyper,
they look at you and they think like now is the time
to be like hyper bro.
And they just think like, I, that drives me up a wall
when they try to do like hyper stereotypical,
like bro bro bro code
You know fucking like oh tits and it's like dude. What are you doing new development here? I'm sorry
This is this is this is breaking news breaking news breaking news with the gay whales a healthy adult man
This is what the caption is dude. Okay a healthy adult
is dude okay a healthy adult adult what the fuck am I saying a healthy adult male humpback was observed penetrating a weak and injured male humpback oh no this
doesn't sound doesn't sound like well doesn't sound I mean hey it could be love
there are humans that are injured sexual you know activities with injured other
humans I yeah but when you define them as injured and weak that sounds that humans that engage in sexual activities with injured other humans. I, yeah.
But when you define them as injured and weak, that sounds, that doesn't sound-
Yeah, and also weak and in- like now you're writing a porn title.
You know what I mean?
Little weak injured whale gets blowhole blown to bits.
Big, big, big-
Little weak injured humpback gets blown to bits. Big hung humpback goes after innocent little tight blowhole.
You might as well, who wrote this?
The fucking big hunky humpback with large dung dung penetrates the blowhole of a little tight white barely legal humpback whale injured.
BANG BANG
Gone wrong.
HAHAHAHA
Insane dude.
POV, humpback cock. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA destroys Little innocent little teeny tiny blowhole of an injured weak helpless bitch
24 New York Post there you go scientists believe that the healthy male may have penetrated the ailing male in a show of dominance
Damn, so this wasn't this is a full- on not love. It's a male dominating male.
Feels like a-
It's like a don't, don't, don't, don't even say it.
But it feels like something else.
What is wine made of?
Right.
You know, just throw that out there.
Fermented that takeaway.
We're on one, yeah.
You know.
That's what it feels like.
And that's fucked up because I thought this was love. I don't, I, you know that's what it feels like and that's fucked up because I thought this was love
I don't I you know what I was gonna be so happy for like
gay love and
Like you know like equality when it's like see like it's in nature, too
Yeah, it's in nature all these people that he's like is not natural fucking being in pong
Yeah, no, it's in the real world
But now this is not now once once the Bible Belt gets ahold of this,
it's gonna be like, see,
I told you what Biden's putting in that fucking water,
him and the Clintons,
they conspired to make sure that humpback whales
and the frogs, Alex Jones,
as minute he gets ahold of this, it's over.
Yeah.
The frogs are gay!
Scientists do not know of similar similar sexual behavior would or has occurred between two healthy male humpbacks
But sexual encounters between same-sex pairs have been documented in a wide range of species including other marine mammals like walruses
common bottlenose dolphins killer whales and gray seals
so
That's crazy. I just...
Walruses kind of look a little like...
A little hunky. Like a bear. Like a bear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you little scruffy with big teeth.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah, bro.
You know what I mean? Just like... Walruses are
fucking wild though. You ever see them fight?
They fucking just tusk
each other. What are those for? You can't
chill with that. They they they have to like hunt
Well, how do they they're also probably for defense because they're big chunky babes
Yeah, so, you know, there are some polar bears or someone out there like damn I get a walrus. I'll eat for a week
Yeah, well, they don't longer. Well, no, they eat a lot
They like 600 pounds of food a day or some holy fuck I. I could buy, just so you know, just so you know,
threw that number out there with zero scientific backing.
600, it's probably insanely wrong.
Just what animal were you saying?
A polar bear.
Polar bear.
How much a polar bear is eat a day?
Yeah, oh yeah.
I know that laugh I am off baby
Four and a half pounds of fat in a day all right hey
Listen sometimes you miss the shots if you're not dribbling and taking them you know what I'm saying
That's not it doesn't apply to you making shit up. I
Could have been right and you would have been astonished with me knowing that 600 pounds is an insane amount
It's a lot of food. I don't know that you could anything can eat that. Oh
I mean if you're like a blue whale
600 pounds a krill I
Get they got huge mouths.
They do.
Dude, I went down a rabbit hole one day with whales.
Yeah, you just look at them big mouths.
No.
Big humpback gaping mouth,
filled by little innocent, tinky-tweeny krill.
Little crawfish stands no chance of Ben's big whale mouth
No, no
What was I say? Oh, I saw a rabbit hole of mouths. Well, no, I didn't but I saw a video
Which I appreciated but I was also like why does this exist it was
Explaining and like it was like a cartoon showing what would happen if you
Found yourself in the mouth of a whale
Like what would happen you'd get swallowed? Yeah, and like but like along the way and I could describe you grab on anything. I
Guess you could try but like I'm scratching the whole way down. Yeah, I mean
Dude, we whales throw up?
Probably not.
Everything throws up.
You gotta imagine it.
Yeah, if you got a throat.
Yeah, if you got a throat, you throw.
Yeah.
They were describing like the tongue or whatever
and then like getting to the stomach
and this would like, this acid would burn your bones.
I don't know, some shit like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you'd be like-
I watched it though and I was like, not me.
Like I'll get out.
No, you wouldn't, no you would not. those videos and people getting swallowed by like fucking whales trying to crawl
For whom this is why this is why people that go kayaking on like the open ocean. Oh, that's insane
You deserve every every bit of murder coming there some like I believe very hot guy
Who's like in Australia or New Zealand or something
and he goes out in a car and on like a canoe I guess or a kayak that's see-through
nope and he sees all kinds of shit no no no and he sees like sea snakes which
why are you there yeah like be a snake if you're gonna be a
be a land snake Don't don't yeah
Don't do this out in the fucking water with the shit
but then also whales and like other animals and shit like it's and
He's just like out there with them. I saw I saw someone the other day
I saw someone the other day posting a thing
we actually brought the kids to the aquarium last week and
I saw someone posting and it was like them in a kayak
and they're like, oh my God, this is so cool.
And it's a family of orcas surrounding them.
Fuck that.
Bro, not cool.
Not cool.
Not cool because you are then guess what?
A treat, you're a little fucking dangly little beep, beep,
beep, you're a little hanging in front of their door.
You're that carrot on the stick in front,
you know what I'm saying?
Like you are dead.
I don't know that expression.
Never heard this expression like dangling a carrot
in front of someone.
Who's chasing carrots?
I love carrots.
Wouldn't be hard to kidnap Frank,
just leave fucking carrots all over the side.
I was on Xbox last night,
and I was out there with someone,
and they were like,
you still on your like holistic journey?
If you are, I got a great granola bar for you. I was like, fucking no, I'll stick to eggs. And they were like, you still on your holistic journey? If you are, I got a great granola bar for you.
I was like, fucking no, I'll stick to eggs.
And they were like, so what do you eat to snack?
And I was like, carrots.
And someone just comes in and they were like,
are you a fucking rabbit?
I love carrots, dude.
Someone asked you if you were on your holistic journey?
Yeah, cause last time I had spoken to them on Xbox,
we were just kind of sharing like,
you know, like healthy foods back and forth.
Okay.
It doesn't holistic not mean that?
Yeah, no. Well, I think you know just like healthy
shit you know. Going back to the internet baby. Holistic babe.
Holistic relating to or concerned with holes? No. Like holes. Or with complete
systems rather than with the individual parts. I know further now. Like holes? Or with complete systems rather than
with the individual parts.
I know further now.
Like I don't know what that means.
It's not, it has nothing to do with what I'm-
Holistic meaning in simple terms.
It means encompassing the whole of a thing.
That doesn't make sense.
And not just a part.
Holistic medicine looks at the whole person for answers.
Oh, a whole with a W.
Yeah.
I'm thinking holistic with an H.
Yeah, I'm saying whole, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, wait.
What?
I'm saying holistic is with the H.
Yeah.
But whole, when I say whole, it's W,
like the whole thing.
Yeah.
So it's saying like, holistic means encompassing of
the whole of the thing. Did I say holistic?
I meant like health. Yeah, but that's, I'm saying Did I say holistic? I meant like health.
Yeah, but that's, I'm saying,
I don't think it's like health.
What's the health word?
I thought holistic was like spiritual healing or something.
Oh, I just thought it was just like,
just pure, like pure and healthy.
I don't, maybe.
You might have heard of holistic medicine,
which tries to treat someone as mind, body,
instead of treating only the part of the patient that is most sick
Okay, so maybe that could mean what you're saying. Maybe I don't know. It's like if you I gotta be honest
We've gotten to a point in this conversation. I
Don't care. I honestly don't care
Understanding what it means because I thought it meant like fucking like, you know monks and shit
I don't care but like you know, I mean? I have some questions for you now
Roger
I don't know if there is evidence of this stuff
But if you're gonna pick three more animals to record being gay to like help like be like yeah see being gay is natural
Yeah
Which ones you picking?
Ssssss
They gotta be cool ones too. I don't want to hear about like an antelope
Elephants?
Love that.
Love a big gay elephant.
Tigers, tigers.
I think cats have been known to be gay.
Okay.
Like lions.
Are they?
I think they're gay lions.
Gorillas.
I believe there's also gay monkeys.
Well, I don't have a Rolodex of which ones have done.
I'm just naming animals.
All right, so what was the first one you said?
Elephants, that's a good one.
Yeah. Sharks. Give me a gay great one you said elephants? That's a good one. Yeah sharks
Give me a gay great white. It's a rap for a straight. Yeah a gate white
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Do that. All right back to Joey
One day one day I'm gonna get you to go.
That was good. I feel like I have said that.
I don't think so.
I think I'd remember something like that.
Oh, yeah, because it means so much.
Don't, you're not supposed to tell me
what means a lot to me.
I'm not saying that.
Yeah.
What did you just say?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was it.
By the way, you know, I would like to talk about,
I don't know if you have seen it, I'm pulling it up.
Uh oh, uh oh.
But the video of the girl crying outside
of the Taylor Swift concert.
You know, I've seen, I think,
someone react into it. I hope you're nice about it
because I feel like I'm not.
You're not gonna be nice, oh boy. I said that I'm not nice
I heard this was a topic I heard this was a topic of conversation
I heard like I saw like a reaction to it, but I didn't see the thing itself
Are you pulling it up? Here's what's okay. Is it what background do I need to know?
Give me back in background info. Give me the back. Give me back of it. Oh, can I
It's a girl who is like sitting outside
I think this was in like Australia or something. Okay. What the fuck was that? Oh you know what it
is. When it's in certain places you like if I were to say it was in Alabama you'd go oh all right.
I don't even know. It comes with it comes with some baggage. I don't know how to interpret that.
But it was it was in uh I think, Australia or something like that.
And the girl was sitting outside with her two friends,
I think outside of the stadium,
because she couldn't go to it.
Because I heard that people do this.
They can't get into the stadium, so they tailgate,
and they just listen to the music, because it's so loud.
Which is like, good.
Honestly, way smarter than going to the show.
Dude, when you go out to Jones Beach, and if you're at the beach, there's like a day cut or I think maybe when they do soundcheck or something
You can hear perfectly from the beach. I haven't been at Jones Beach in
15 years, maybe honestly well
Learn something new she did cry pretty fucking hard, and I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna play okay, but no context
Oh, there was a song that came on
that like meant a lot to her.
Okay.
And she got emotional.
But she got emotional.
Okay, all right, let me hear this.
I'm off, hold on, let me just play it.
Oh, my volume's off, so forgive me.
Look at this this podcasting 101
There's the song she doesn't know yet, you'll know when she knows
Sounds like Creed. Ready?
Not done.
Bro, I'm like getting emotional.
That's an insane-
I'm like getting emotional that's an insane I'm getting emotional
that's a wild reaction and look you can't do that you set it up to be funny
bitch I what do you mean the song means a lot to her you that's all you know I
looked up because I was like me I hope that I'm not gonna you're gonna get you're gonna get this girl
And so I was I want to offend too much if it like there's something connected to it
But I also think that like that's a wild reaction for like anything connection. You know what I mean
I have you know I swear to God when I heard that that like in my heart is like if you find like a loved one
Dead on the floor like after getting hit by a truck. Yeah my heart is like, if you find like a loved one dead on the floor,
like after getting hit by a truck.
Yeah, I was gonna say, if you watched with your eyes,
one of your relatives gets steamrolled and just flat.
Oh, like literally steamrolled.
By a steamroller.
By a legit steamroller.
Like that's like a reaction that I would have,
that feels. That is a hard cry
You know it sounds like you ever see the the sound bit on tik-tok and it's like it looks like a somewhere in Europe cop
He's like
No
You've never seen that shit
No, but what?
Those when Trump got elected no not the woman that was crying.
It's like, it's an- it's like a white guy-
OHHH! It's a reenactment, that guy!
Is it that guy? It's like a white guy and his eyes are like-
Yes, yes.
But like fucking popping out of his head.
No, yeah, no, that guy does reenactments
where he like pretends that his child has drowned in a pool
and he has his kid like-
This guy.
Pretend he's drowning.
a pool and he has his kid like pretend he's drowning. You know what that's good that you said that because I thought I saw that and I was just
like who recorded this poor man in the most like.
From a tree.
Yeah from a tree.
Like the most like emotionally charged moment.
No he makes these wild reenactments where it's like oh you just found your child drowning
in a pool and it's like who's this for who?
Was this I don't even want to put myself in the brain capacity to think of something like that one thing
I will say about this girl. I think that she's very nice. All right. Oh, here we go. This is this is deleted
She's I'm sure she's really nice. No, no torture. No, I'm not torturing anybody not torturing torch
Oh, no, no, I'm not gonna do that either
Why do you go torture first? I heard you said torture. I said torture. I thought you said torture
but I thought I
I hear songs and the shit makes me cry. It definitely happens. I
Don't know if I've ever cried like that. That's a that's a wild. Have you ever cried like that?
And listen to not not not maybe when I was a
toddler and I was driving a fucking fit and I'm a sensitive bitch I am right
there I am a full I'm being honest finger on the emotional pulse here I am
a bitch full stop well I mean don't say that because then that is okay and
people equating feeling emotions to acting like, you know, feeling lesser than.
So stop that.
How about you're in touch with your emotions, bitch.
First of all, you just call me a bitch.
I'm not in touch.
I'm in bed cuddling.
Yeah, you're face fucking your emotions.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, okay.
Your finger in your emotion.
I'm reaming them, dude.
Ooh, big. Ooh. But yeah.
Big white Tampa, big white big white baseball cowboy
face fucks such hardship.
But my idea is I watch that video and I'm like,
what are we doing?
Yeah.
Here's the thing, and you know how I've said this
about other things in the past?
It's staged.
It's staged. I in the past It's staged
It's staged. I don't it's staged. She claimed that's not okay
They were filming though, but you staged that for a very specific reason you had to have known you had to have known
and like It's staged like it is it is staged like that's that's the part that gets me is like listen
You want to react that way you feel so passionate about something whether regardless of whatever the reason is feel it
But then if you're gonna record it and put it out there
That's where it gets that's where the cynic in me takes over and I'm just like that's where I think it's a little bit
Of bullshit now listen if this person wants to say like I want to you know
Allow people to feel comfortable feeling their emotions fine that's that
was a show if that's why they put it out there she claims it's not a show I read
her Rolling Stone interview I skimmed Rolling Stone interview yeah they did
what she went she went insanely viral because everyone's like look at this
fucking idiot Adam Levine the Rolling Stones Yeah Kim Kardashian and
this person this girl she's crying yes, but they interviewed her and
She just said cuz I was like looking it up to be like all right if this is like connected to something like really serious
then like Maybe I won't like but I mean I think I was burning it up regardless
But like I think you know whatever at least I would know that going in like okay
Let's cut her some slack here. This is like but in the interview
she just says like it's a song that means a lot to her and like
It like helps distract her or whatever and to be fair
She did say in that interview that she like also thinks like it's funny
You know like she's a good sport about it that look at me. I'm being a psycho good good
I mean, I'm sure she just had to have I don't even know what song it was I've had to have I'm sure
she's had to have thick skin because people probably saw that and immediately
started cyberbullying her which is wrong don't do that unless you're Joey he could take it
I'm not loves taking it I will just say this first of all I just said I'm very
sensitive I am full-on in agreement if something means that much to you be have a connection with it that's fine that's wild you're close I'm very sensitive. I am full on in agreement if something means that much to you
Be have a connection with it. That's fine. That's wild. You're close. I have very strong connections to songs
None that would elicit that response. What would you do?
I'll be honest with you If you had that reaction to something other than like the death of someone very close because even one of your aunts and uncles
I'd be like chill what?
because even one of your aunts and uncles, I'd be like, chill.
What the fuck? It would have to be a very, very, very close relative.
Or if you had some sort of Peter Parker and Mayra, like relationship with your aunt,
then like boiler brother. What? Spoiler alert.
Spider-Man came out in 1901, probably.
We know the story. I believe it's 16.
Here's another spoiler. He's a photographer.
It's Peter Parker.
Yeah, yeah, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair.
Yeah, I would be a little,
I'd get a little second-hand.
I'd do like the rub on your back
and just be like, chill, chill.
Yeah.
Like you'd get like a, you'd get a moment of just like,
oh, are you all right?
And then it would immediately turn into like fucking stop.
I'd be like, but just this, right?
It's just, shh.
You're making a scene, you're making a scene.
Yeah, yeah. You know what, so I've heard, I hate scenes. Bro, I've It's just like shh. You're making a scene, you're making a scene. Like, you know what, so I've heard Todd.
I hate scenes, I hate scenes.
I've heard toddlers react like that.
Yeah.
One of, Bekah and I were still,
were we engaged at the time?
No, I think we were just still dating at the time.
And we took, we went to a restaurant with Miles.
I think it was for like her dad's engagement,
engagement, her dad's engagement engagement her retirement party and
On the way he was such a nightmare at this restaurant miles
Yeah
But like he was also old enough to know not to do stuff like you give kids a bit of a break because they're kids
But like he was just like really really tough
So we were on the drive home and he was just throwing the fucking fit to end all fits like just just
Just going nuts.
And I'm driving the car and he had this pack of tic tacs that his grandmother got him.
Oh, please tell me what you're about to tell me.
And he wanted him so bad and she's crying.
So Becca is, I can see in her face because I'm sure you'll, if you don't already know
this, you will learn this.
Children's screaming does something differently for men and women. Children's screaming for men, it's like an instant,
it's like an instant of like, I can help,
and then it's immediately like, you're fucking annoying.
For women, it's all the time, like, nurture, I wanna help.
And it's like nails on a chalkboard for them.
And he's like screaming, crying,
just throwing like, ah, like that.
Because he wants to take time
No because because we told him we were gonna go to his grandmother's after the restaurant
And then we said we're not because of how bad he was what flavor take tax by the way. It was a multi-pack
green huge red yellow orange orange is the one the best one and
He's just and I see Becca out of the corner my eyes
She's starting to fume and she goes miles and then it gets quiet and she grabs the tic tacs and she looks at him shakes them
Rolls down the window
Launches it out the window. That's so so ganger, bro. I tell I always tell this story
She's a great mom
But I tell this story and I'm like I felt so much harder in love with you that day
Cuz that was some thug shit and he's a full pack though
full
He screamed like that
Because she threw them out
Like what like just fucking
Unloaded tic-tacs unloaded it was fucking it was great. Unloaded, it was fucking, it was great.
But that's like that as a toddler,
that's an appropriate response.
This is a fully grown.
That's a grown woman.
It's fully grown.
Well, I don't know how old this person is.
She's 20, I believe.
Okay, then kind of grown.
Full, I would say.
Close to full.
I mean.
90% full.
Women mature at different rates than men do.
Would you have called.
Quicker. Well, yeah, way quicker, but but also would you have called yourself fully mature by 25?
Hell yeah, I would have said that I would be ton ton dream
Happen to you? Where'd you go?
I tried to say totally
I would be Tundri
Tundri
Bro, and you like said yourself
Bro, I would be a Tundri
I said it twice I think
What is wrong with me man? No, I would be a tangerine. I said it twice. I think
Now we're totally wrong. Yeah, exactly and fucking 15. I was probably like I know what I'm doing
Yeah, you know is there any song what's the closest a song would have to having you react that way?
Chain hang low by jibs
No, maybe you but no no no if you buck freestyle rap from Lil Wayne
Don't say it's a rap from Lil Wayne and sound 400 years old seriously
What is a song that if you throw it on right now, it'll get you teary-eyed
Give me as minutes to think about that, but we do have some more sponsors for today. We have
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And uh.
So my question.
Yeah, what were you asking me?
What song is the one that would get you the closest
to having an emotional reaction like that?
If any song, cause that's a big task.
The song from Toy Story.
Oh, the fucking Sarah McLachlan?
When somebody loves you,
everything was beautiful.
That shit.
That shit gets you.
But like, if I just hear the song, that's one thing.
But to watch the video of the doll being like,
you're growing up.
And then she gets so excited.
I kid you not, I'm getting goosebumps.
Nah bro, I can.
She's getting so excited
because she puts her hand down to look for it.
Yeah.
You ever heard the conspiracy
that that girl was Andy's mom?
Because at the end of the movie.
Yo, my whole body just lit up.
Right?
At the end of the movie.
Why do you start with your nipples there?
Did I? I went like this. You say you like my whole body. First of right at the end of the movie. Why do you start with your nipples there? Did I I went like this you you say you're like my whole body first of all my nipples aren't there mine are oh your thumbs
I would go like this if anything well you just brought your fingertips to your thumbs
I wasn't doing that but the the conspiracy is that
At the end of the movie because she has like a like the girl has like similar attributes like you know
I'm granted they all kind of look the same in Toy Story the human characters at least at the end of the movie, because she has like a, like the girl has like similar attributes, like, you know, I mean, granted,
they all kind of look the same in Toy Story,
the human characters at least,
but she has similar attributes to the girl,
like that had Jessie.
And then at the end of the movie,
when Jessie's like super happy,
her mom was just like,
hey, I had one of those growing up.
Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got two songs I could think of that get me.
That shit makes me mad sad though.
Like dogs, not dogs, what am I saying?
Like the toys when they're like,
oh, you don't wanna play with me anymore?
Nah.
And remember we talked about the Toys R Us thing?
We were like, oh, I guess there's no more Toys R Us kids.
They're all grown up.
Bro, I almost cried.
I kid you not, I almost cried about like two weeks ago
because I was, Maeve was sleeping sleeping which I was very happy about and then
Ruby and miles were sitting on the floor playing with Megazords and I just look over and I was like goddamn
Yeah, and then on the TV was a spider-man show that Ruby loves to watch and I was just like fuck
Yes, but two songs two songs that get me there. Okay
Well, all right two songs and apart from a movie,
cause yours was kinda more about apart from a movie, but like,
Yeah, yeah.
The opening to Up,
Son.
Stab, turn, turn, up, down, this way, that way, it guts me completely.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, there's nothing left.
My insides are on the floor.
Old people...
fucking kills me.
I could stare at an old person and cry.
Really?
For some reason.
That's kind of fucked
No, like when all the oh this poor fucking old bastard
No, but like especially when they're upset about something like old people being upset like murders me
Like that's like in my top three. Yeah, I like an old person being like, I you know
I look at a lot of them. I look at a lot of them and just go
Where were they during the civil rights movement, you know what I look at a lot of them, I look at a lot of them and just go, ah, but where were they during the civil rights movement?
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I mean?
Where are you on the right side of history?
Where are you on?
I don't want to be sad for a fucking racist.
Yeah, were you?
Two songs that get me there.
You ready?
One, Vienna by Billy Joel.
It's a great song.
Gets me.
Slow down, you're doing fine.
You know what gets me even more about that song?
And I'm gonna like seriously seriously like try not to get
choked up talking about it is I looked up what the song means and Billy Joel said that like his dad
always envisioned retiring and going and living in Vienna because apparently in Vienna it's like
it's an old person you just like sweep your lawn and you just live a happy life and like the story
this whole song is about like,
just like enjoy like your youth, like slow down.
Like Vienna is gonna wait, like your happiness,
your retirement will wait for you.
I don't, oh my God, gets me every time.
Two, recent edition.
It's a good song.
Not really, it's been out for a number of years, but.
Fuck, what's the name of it?
It's the, it's from the new A Star Is Born, not Shallow.
It's the one, I'll always remember us this way.
I don't know that song.
Oh!
The air is on the sky,
bing, bing, burning in your eyes,
bing, bing, and look at me,
and babe I wanna get on fire. Let Her Go used to make me cry let her go. Which one is that?
Well, you only need the light when it's burning. Oh get the fuck out of here
It hits me what what don't tell me what documentary song made you cry you fucking also fix you by Coldplay that she used to get
Me to fix you
You don't remember that I don't remember that one it It was like in the 9-Eleven movie.
I got, Jesus Joey.
I saw a TikTok the other day, you see this TikTok trend where people would just describe the ultimate, you just had to be there to get it.
And someone said 9-Eleven?
It was a swipe and it was just 9-Eleven.
And I was like, that's so fucked up.
I love when people say, oh the song Imagine by John Lennon.
I'm like, that song sucks song imagined by John Lennon. I'm like song sucks
No, that's always great. But I will say this gal Gadot ruin that song. Yeah, of course
She like yo imagine was like I guess this is a hot that's a good song
It's not a bad song, but it's like the way that it's revered. I'm like, it's not that crazy to me
I think John Lennon wrote better songs. I mean
Name another name another John Lennon song he wrote that's better, Joey.
Frank, I have other things to do right now.
Don't name one.
I just feel like you wrote another one.
Which one?
Yeah, exactly.
No, I just think that when Gal Gadot and Kristen Wiig and other celebrities try to put out
this heartfelt thing on social media during COVID, when people are fucking losing their
family members and the first thing, the first thing,
I understand what the song is about.
The first thing that Gal Gadot looks in the camera
and says is like, imagine there's no heaven.
And it's like, come on, Gal.
Come on.
Come on, Gal.
What's your name?
It's not Gal.
Gal.
Can't be Gal.
Gal.
Short for Gallant.
Gallant, her name is Gallant.
I was looking up like-
Look it up, look it up.
What's Gal's first name?
I'll say Gal Gadot.
Come on.
Hmm?
It's Gal, all right.
And she's Gal, huh?
She's Gal.
She's Israeli, she's Israeli.
She was Miss Israel.
She was, yeah, and she was also like a special forces.
There's some stuff about her political affiliation.
Maybe we shouldn't get into it, but you know.
But they all, if you're an Israeli woman, you have to serve in the IDF.
I know, but she like made her way through the ranks.
Sneakily?
You know, I'm not gonna sit here and pontificate on it.
Oh, you're throwing one of those words out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I liked all the songs that make you cry and like none of them are really that good.
Dude, but that song from Stars Born, listen to it when you get the chance.
Because it's just like right now like where we are in our life
I'm gonna remember this like I'm gonna remember us like just as we are right now and there's a part of the song where she's
like
fuck I can't remember it but it was like. I've cried to a lot of Noah Khan songs so I know you don't know who he is.
I don't I don't I'm sorry. I'm not discrediting him. I've cried to a lot of Noah Con songs, which I know you don't know who he is. I don't, I don't, I'm sorry.
I'm not discrediting him, I just think you're an idiot,
not him. He's incredible.
But like, and I'm all choked up and I can't find the words
every time you say goodbye, baby, it hurts.
And it's just like, ooh.
And then there's one part where she's like,
a part of me that's you will never die.
And I'm just like,
ffff.
Criss cross, applesauce, shoot me in the fucking asshole.
And like. Ha ha ha. Just kill me right there. Chris Cross, Applesauce, shoot me in the fucking asshole.
Just kill me right there.
You know, there's another song by John Mayer called
You're Gonna Live Forever With Me, that also made me cry.
Oh, I need to hear that.
It's a good one.
Because, you know, like, I have music that reminds me of my family, you know,
and I'm trying to put together a playlist of all the songs.
I'm still trying to find one for Maeve
because she's been a hard one year old.
I mean, give it some time.
Give it some time.
When she goes away to college, you'll cry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like, got my song for Miles, Ruby, my mom, Becca.
You know what's gonna happen?
You're gonna cry the most for Maeve
because she's the hardest.
Like, you're gonna have this thing where it's like,
she's put you through hell or whatever the fuck and then eventually you're gonna have this like thing where it's like she she's put you through like hell or whatever the fuck
and then eventually you're gonna be like
You're gonna look back on it like way more fondly than now and I think it's gonna make you
But
it's gonna you know, I I'm very excited for you to have children because
I'll just be crying the The love, like there's physically,
I know there's a Greek word for it,
but like you cannot, the word love just doesn't fit.
Agapimou?
But like, no, there's like philophilia and stuff like that.
Like there's different words of love in the Greek language.
They mean different things.
Like one is like romantic love, one is brotherly love,
one is like familiar love, one is like romantic love one is brotherly love one is like familiar love one is like children love I
Am like well, where do you think the word pedophilia comes from?
lover of children
You don't remember that and Sasha Baron Cohen show we are America and he's like we want to take this word back
Yeah, just like I'm not fucking doing that. That is the craziest thing I've ever seen
in my entire life.
That show, yeah, it's pretty nuts.
That was wild.
Also, I mean, this isn't really funny,
but I just kinda wanna bring it up because you just,
Uh-oh.
You said the word, put it up.
But I saw this video and it's so fucking disturbing
and I kinda just wanna say it just so,
I guess people kind of keep this in mind. I don't know. There was a TikTok account that
it's like this little girl.
Uh oh. Do I want to hear this?
No, there's nothing crazy that's happening. Nothing happened to her.
You can't go from talking about...
Well, it kind of goes with that. So like there's a TikTok account where it's like this girl and her mother and she's like
this cute little girl and she's probably like four or something like that.
And there's all these like videos that she posts about her and they have mad followers
and shit.
And there are certain videos where there's something like just a little off, you know,
like there's a video,
like if you go on the page and you scroll,
there was a video of her holding two apples like this,
the little girl, and that one has like a bunch of like saves.
And then like the comments are like, dudes.
So it's like, you know what I mean?
Like, you know what I'm saying here you don't see what I'm saying here?
There's a lot of that going on.
Let me explain to you.
I will go to prison.
I will.
I'm not kidding.
For dismemberment on live TV.
Literally, I will cut your head off.
I will, like, and I don't care, you know?
I get so like, there's like those TikTok accounts
that are like the people that like pose as like 13 year olds and they go and they find these people and they're all like, please, like, there's like those TikTok accounts that are like the, like the people that like pose
as like 13 year olds and they go and they find these people
and they're all like, please don't ruin my life.
And it's like, you deserve right now
to just get the worst thing to happen.
I know this girl's like four.
Murder.
And it's like, you're like ill.
And like, there's like these random comments
and shit and like, whatever.
Not like that.
Like there was a comment from a guy,
I don't know, I remember some guy wrote something
and then someone said, why are you here?
And then that was a guy who said that.
And then that dude replied, same reason as you.
And I'm like, ew, bro.
All right.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
We can't end on this.
We can't end on this.
All right.
Have a good week.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we can't end on this. I got a question for you.
If you can have your dick and balls taste like one candy
in the world, what would it be?
Skittles.
Ooh, what color skittle?
You can't have them taste like all the skittles.
You know what?
No, I would have them taste like a lemon ice.
That probably tastes like sweat.
It's like sweaty and gross.
No, lemony.
It's like if-
You want lemony fresh dick?
Yeah, like a, it's refreshing.
No, no, no, no.
You know when you drink like a really cold glass of water
and it's like infused maybe with some fruit.
Okay, okay, okay.
And it's like ooh, or like a seltzer that's like,
you know?
Yeah.
So like that.
So that's why I'm saying like a lemon ice.
It would be like refreshing.
Saying watermelon, big league chew.
Gum?
Hell yeah.
You want your dick to taste like gum.
That wouldn't be that bad of an idea.
Okay.
All right guys, so how did you dig that out of your,
well you had to dig us out of the pedophilia hole.
Yeah, well there it is.
You brought the word back up. this show this episode got demonetized
you feel ya that it there are people named Ophelia Ophelia what a what does
it mean just love Ophelia oh shit you know what is the word Ophelia what is
the word also I don't really love when people know what their name means to be
honest and I'm not really crazy on that.
It's like, oh, my name's this.
And it means like, King of Gods.
And it's like, you work at a store.
Oh, wow. Ophelia is a Greek girl's name meaning help.
Ophelia!
Help? It says help help aid or advantage
Interesting best known for the tragic heroine in William Shakespeare's Hamlet although Ophelia stories heartbreaking and poignant the name also represents beauty and selflessness
I guess I like to think it means help. It's a good lumineer song, too. I'm sure there's a song of Noah Cahan
fucking
Luminers Coldplay, I like that just give in I just give in to a lot
Where's that puka shell necklace that you took off before we show it means I'm gonna go live in the woods and wear wooden shoes
Bonnie Vare I'm sure you listen to also not really yeah, I bet you do you sleepy bastard sleepy
Yeah, I do like music though like that that makes me feel like like like in front of a fireplace
Oh, yeah, you know I like to listen to in front of a fireplace
Bow Wow crowd
Don't
crackling fire
Love that love it when it just when it just randomly just
Like it fucking that was incredible that the second one sucked. The first one was amazing
Don't try to recreate it.
Go out on top.
I remember when I was on that trip in Washington,
there was one fire that went through.
The wood was so dry.
Cracky.
This thing wouldn't shut up.
Oh.
The wood was on fire.
Oh, I love the talky fire.
Dude, I was like, this thing's popping.
Oh, I love that.
I have a video.
I don't care to the level of watching a video.
I apologize.
I apologize.
I apologize.
I believe and trust your story.
I don't need validation, Joey.
Okay?
Just don't say it again.
But a crackly fire.
I do one that spits at you every now and then.
I like that.
Just like, you can see it.
And you can see it like fucking fire off
like an old like fucking like a Lord of the Rings like.
Like a flare.
Flaming like boulder.
Like someone stuck in the fire
and trying to get out shooting a flare.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you ignore it and you let it burn.
Well, what the fuck?
You know what I mean?
No, that's what I mean.
No, that was kind of dark.
I know.
But it's not real.
But it's imagined to be real in your head.
I don't know, but like.
No, you know. I don't., but like. No, you know.
I don't.
Oh, all right.
And staring at fires.
Dude, a level of like,
you experience a level of clarity staring at fires
that you just can't find anywhere else.
Also, the heat from a fire is unlike any other heat.
It's not hot, but it's,
it's hugging me. It is.
Like, I could feel, like,
if I'm looking at a fire like this,
I could feel it like tickling my back.
Like it's like a little like back tickle.
Or it feels like someone's just like,
yes, yes, yes.
You know what I mean?
But like a heater is like,
Heater's just like,
yeah, it's like someone's blowing hot air.
A fire is just like,
and it comes around you.
Yeah, and it comes around,
it's like a big fat guy just like laying on you.
Well, you had to give it a gender, Joe.
I don't want to be hugged by some just random big man.
If he's fire, I'll take it.
I've been hugged by like a fire before, so.
All right.
I like that feeling though.
And bonfires being outside, it's like,
oh, I'm cold, my feet are hot.
Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
When was the last time you roasted a marshmallow?
A week ago?
On a fire. Hell. Yeah, brother. Where backyard? Oh, you got a fire pit. Hell. Yeah, brother
Fucking did I how many did you eat?
for Minimum and they were the fucking her she's her she's her she's her she's oh's they were the big assholes the big like big fat big fat big dumps
Yeah, big dump of a marshmallow. Oh, you got the okay. Oh, but you can't do the little ones
People that do just the singular one. No, I want the big dump ones. I
Can't really eat that much marshmallow. Oh, I know of marshmallows. I'm like over it
Especially a like I want one that's like like coming out like looking like fucking
Burnt to it crisp. Yeah. Yeah, I want that too. I want it to be like melting all over my hands
Yeah, it's burning my finger. I want to take the like light first layer of skin off and then there's just that ooey gooey
Let me
Gooey, do you put it on a stick or do you put it on a like a pike?
I like putting it on a stick cuz it's like I'm eating that I'm earthing it yeah exactly like I feel like there's
a level of dirty it is it is a little dirty but also like you know maybe
that's why I don't get colds as often as everyone else that I know probably not
you know but yeah anyway thank you guys so much for sticking around for this
episode of the basement yard Frank we're gonna find you if however is eight zero
eight five on Twitter the Frank hours in all the forms of social media,
then go check out the page,
patreon.com slash The Basement Yard,
The Basement Yard in all forms of social media,
thebasementyard.com.
So much, so much goodies for you, bitch.
You can follow me at Joe Santagato,
go follow the show on TikTok at The Basement Yard,
TikTok and Instagram. And that is as all see you guys next time
Don't do that