The Basement Yard - #443 - The Princess Is Missing!

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the base- BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS Welcome back to the basement, y'all.
Starting point is 00:00:08 I'm just Frankie, anywhere else I'd be a three. Standing next to you, you have abs and I have a beer belly. I put that together right now. Right now. Can you believe that? Well, I don't have abs You have more closer to abs than I do What the fuck? That sentence kicked the shit out of you
Starting point is 00:00:33 Sorry, I watched the Oscars Sunday, and I'm just I can't that I'm just Ken performance fucking rock my balls off I did see it. You got crushed it. Yeah, it pisses me off though Why like because he's just like yeah He could sing too. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, Brian got the fuck out. Just listen. You've got the looks you've got the acting ability He's got please he has to have a small set of fucking balls and cock like he's need to have probably not dude even Mendez She's not she you know what are you about to say? I'm just saying I'll come over there and slap your glasses off you want to know exactly what I was Mendez? She's not, she's, you know. What are you about to say? I was gonna say.
Starting point is 00:01:05 I'll come over there and slap your glasses off. You wanna know exactly what I was gonna say? What? She's not probably caring about dick and balls size. Oh, oh. I thought you were gonna say that she's not that hot. I was gonna say I'm gonna take your head off. No, even Mendez is a beautiful woman. Beautiful! But, just a little fucked down.
Starting point is 00:01:17 She's a beautiful woman. Jesus Christ, get off your fucking horse. You came in horned up. Joey walked to the studio today and I knew the energy he was bringing with him today. Sorry. I knew it I know that when you do anything like like energy wise like act active before we record you come in here fucking full cock Testosterone pumping ready to go. I don't know. It's funny. I got an email Remember I said like you get emails like oh, we'd love to work with you with you know, these cool brands Yeah, or come to this really cool event.
Starting point is 00:01:45 I got one for like testosterone boosters. I was like, what the hell? We see how estrogen up you are. Yeah, it's like people are looking at me and they're like, male enhancement is exceptionally important. And your audience needs to know. And it's like, what the fuck does that mean?
Starting point is 00:02:02 That's funny, I like that. But yeah, this guy, Ryan Gosling just goes out there and just fucking crosses it I didn't know you could sing like that. I'm sure it's it's helped. I'm sure it's not I'm sure it's helped I'm sure it's helped still. I mean you got to be a little tone I mean when you have the like Highest paid fucking people teaching you and walking you through singing of course. That's fair. I'm sure you could do it I mean... I just watched, uh, oh, Crazy Stupid Love the other day.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Favorite rom-com ever. What? Yeah. Aw, it's okay. Takes his shirt off in that too, on my wall. He does. That's a great cast, too. You got Julianne Moore, Steve Carell, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Is Marissa Tomei in that? She is in that. Shady? Oh my god, I love her. Love Marissa Tomei. I'm in love with Marissa Tomei in that? She is in that. Shady? Oh my god, I love her. Love Marissa Tomei. I'm in love with Marissa Tomei. The first time I saw her and my cousin Vinny, I was just like, what is this? Right.
Starting point is 00:02:51 And then I heard her talk about- And also what's happening? You know what I mean? Oh, you thought I was doing boner talk. That's what you thought, brother. You thought I was talking boner talk. You didn't think that she was attractive in that movie? Of course she's a good looking person. I'm not saying that by any stretch. What were you saying, brother. You thought I was talking boner talk. You didn't think that she was attractive in that movie? Of course she's a good looking person. I'm not saying that by any stretch. What were you saying, what is that then?
Starting point is 00:03:08 Just saying like, what, like this is like, it's an insane package. Oh, it's a new type of woman that you've never seen. And she came out and she was Mona Lisa Vito. Yep. And then when she told us about the 1967 Buick Skylark. Yeah, how's your Chinese food? Bro, that movie, when they do like the whole like the ticking time bomb my clock is ticking away
Starting point is 00:03:28 Yeah, I almost pissed my not to mention your Biological clock that movie if you guys have not watched my cousin Vinnie do yourself. You're not a citizen and get out That felt like that charged politically 2024 Oh, that felt like that charged politically 2024 Yeah, but and you watched Barbie right wrong you haven't watched Barbie I haven't seen it now I'm boycotting it because of women. Oh, yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. No, I just haven't seen I haven't seen Oppenheimer either I haven't seen Oppenheimer yet either. I heard it was the movie of the year Well by by award standards, it literally was given movie of the year. Well, by award standards,
Starting point is 00:04:06 it literally was given movie of the year. So yeah, you heard correct. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who won anything. That's not true. I saw that Emma Stone won for something. Fucking chill, dude. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:04:18 What's going on? He came in with fat cock energy today. I'm letting you guys know. That's who won. I don't know. I do. Okay, relax. You're very sensitive. That's who won. I don't know. I do. Okay, relax. You're very sensitive.
Starting point is 00:04:26 But I saw that Emma Stone won for some movie and then I was on Hulu and I saw it. So I watched the trailer. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. I have no desire to watch it. It's crazy to me that movies like that,
Starting point is 00:04:40 like people win awards for movies like that because I'm like, I haven't even seen a commercial for this. I'd heard of it when it was coming out But you know I have my ear to the ground a little closer than you do yeah It's like movies and stuff But like well the foe's got a deformed face in this thing, and I don't know I should know about it Will the folk you hear he's playing us for Ratu
Starting point is 00:04:58 That makes sense. He looks like a vampire. He looks like a bat he He does. He does. Willem Dafoe looks like a bat. You ever seen the clip of him that's gone viral where he's like trying to explain someone, he's like, he's in the classical music and he's gay. He does look like a vampire. Yeah, she won lead actress for her role in poor things
Starting point is 00:05:25 Yeah, which is directed by a guy the Greek is name. I've ever heard your ghost Lanthro most Jesus That sounds like a good dish with a lot of feathers Like there'd be a Greek grape leaf stuck on top of him, you know, yeah Yeah, like a whole fuck it by the way Greek salad the fuck is saying salad cuz fuck you. That's the best salad I love that. So Caesar's up there Fuck you, that's the best salad on the planet. I love that salad. SAAA, Caesar's up there. Yeah. You ever had real Caesar though?
Starting point is 00:05:48 Yeah, when they mixed the fucking- I wanna- I wanna do it. You wanna- you wanna crush up a fucking anchovy? Well, hold on. I wanna have real Caesar salad. So do I. I don't want like this Newman's Own garbage. Yeah, no. That's not real.
Starting point is 00:05:59 I've been to a restaurant where they make it next year. Paul. Paul. Newman. I'm on to you. He's dead. He's gone. Yeah. Wait, Paul Newman? Newman's Own. Is he one with from the movies. Are you fucking kidding me? He's the one who made Caesar salad. Hold on. Hold on. Are you stupid? He's not the one who made Caesar He's not Caesar, but he's that's his he's a sound Newman's own the popcorn the dressing. That's Paul Newman Paul Newman the actor
Starting point is 00:06:22 The guy with the fucking watch. Yes. Yes. Yes. This guy's got an empire. Oh, you had? Long dead. Super dead, yeah. But I'm being serious. You- oh, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:06:32 You didn't know that- No! Next you're not gonna- you don't know who Orville Redenbacher is. He's popcorn. He's popcorn. But I don't know who that is. Are you kidding me? Why are you making it seem like I don't know the popcorn guy, so that's crazy. Wait, you I don't know who that is. Are you kidding me? Why are you making it seem like I don't know
Starting point is 00:06:45 the popcorn guy so that's crazy. Wait, you really don't know. No, who's Orville Redford? Oh no, you're making it up. I know, Orville, I'm making it up. Newman's own is legitimately Paul Newman though. Really? Yeah, that's his like whole, like that was his like,
Starting point is 00:06:55 I'm an actor, I'm in the score, I'm in like Butch Cassidy, Sundance Kid, right? I think that one, him and Robert Redford. I've never seen like anything. Robert Redford. People say I look like a young Robert Redford. I've never seen like anything Robert Redford People say I look like a young Robert Redford Dude, look it up. Look it up. I'm not looking anything up. Please. Nope. All right But yeah, you didn't know that he was so I want like real Caesar salad not like Paul Newman Caesar salad, right? Yeah, you know you've had it. I've had it. It's good. It's great
Starting point is 00:07:20 I love what I love a good fresh salad when you go to a restaurant Especially if you go to like a steakhouse or something and then they they bring out like a cold salad dude like a cold one my favorite part of red lobster is When you piece of trash My favorite part of red lobster as well. I haven't I love the biscuits. I love red lobster as well. I haven't loved the biscuits. I love my best kids I haven't been in a number of years, but when I would go when I knew that that Caesar salad was coming out on a plate that you could have sworn just got flown in from the Arctic Yeah, I love a cold cold
Starting point is 00:07:57 Salads give me your top three salads and like traditional salads not like a fucking you know like you're going to like it They have like a weird one. I like a Caesar salad grilled chicken bingo, but I but I do love a Greek salad as well. Yeah Love but like traditionally Greek or like Romaine Greek no no no like traditionally Greek so just I've never had a Romaine Greek salad Yes, you definitely have with Romaine lettuce. Yeah, any Greek salad I've ever had and this is the point that I was getting to. Greek salad, I don't know that you could call yourself a salad. Tomato, cucumber, onion, and just tons of feta. Yeah, but there's no like leaf. But that's why it doesn't need to be.
Starting point is 00:08:34 Because, that's what I'm saying, it's barely a leaf. A fruit salad doesn't have leaves, but you call it a fruit salad, right? That's another bullshit thing though. No, it's not, Joey. It can't be a salad without the lettuce. Big salad is trying to take control of the fact that they need greenery I like a salad. I like a cop chicken salad all that shit is food a salad all that shit is disgusting You're fucking stupid tuna salad shrimp salad chicken set shit to shrimp salad
Starting point is 00:09:01 All that shit is nasty to me chicken Chicken salad, tuna salad, tuna fish, egg salad. Disgusting. You're crazy Joey. You're crazy. You're eating eggs and mayo. Like just move. Oh, it's so deli- Out of a container. First of all, out of a container. You stupid fucking inbred bitch. Okay. You're not inbred I know your parents I don't first of all you're closer to inbred than me your uncle your cousin or whatever my uncle's aren't fucking any of my cousins okay cousins are fucking themselves yeah not my uncles or aunts or anyone in direct got it got it um Becca are we on salad she makes the like chicken salad egg salad tuna salad shrimp salad I swear to God I swear to God it's the greatest
Starting point is 00:09:55 thing on the planet I'm not doing it because I Becca once made a bowl of like oh like a party size of egg salad I I ate the whole thing. She goes just so you know, there's like ten eggs in there You're trying to take back salad fruit salad, I like a cob Comp-salad? Comp-salad. It's okay. Something with a It's okay. Something has like a like a bacon crumble in it No, because most of that is bacon bits bits which is not even real bacon. What? Bacon bits. What is it? It's like bacon dust. No, no, no. Real bacon bits are real bacon, but like you go to the store you get like fucking like bacon bits it's like fake not bacon. Oh, I don't make a Cobb salad. Okay, I hope wherever you're getting it from. I don't know. I don't
Starting point is 00:10:42 want bacon on my salad because if I'm getting a salad, it's because I'm trying to make a responsible, healthy decision. Oh, no, I just want something like cold before I eat a hot. You know what I'm saying? I kind of do, yeah. That's why it's like getting a cold salad
Starting point is 00:10:56 like at a steakhouse is like, I know I'm about to eat some hot steak meat. Get me cold first. Listen, so Becca and I recently discovered and went to a fucking Turkish restaurant It would fuck your ass like it was It was the food was unbelievable. I can't speak highly like a higher about it. Mm-hmm They came out with a salad. I'm not a big fruit in my salad type of guy Like neither I'm getting the salad. I want greens and and vegetables
Starting point is 00:11:26 I don't want fruit. You could pull like a little slice of like a mango in there, but it's pretty much shit this First of all arugula, which is top top three underrated lettuce, baby arugula top three greens For me personally. Yeah, no, I like it and then it like kale. I don't like kale. It's so okay though Yeah, but it was baby arugula, Uh huh. Whole stalks of cilantro. Stalks? Stalks of it. Jesus. Like just like literally someone took it and just went and threw it in.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Okay. Lemon, oil, vinegar. Yeah. You don't, I don't know if you, you ever had like Cassetti cheese? It's like a Greek cheese. It's like soft but kind of sharp. Probably. It's like, it's like Probalone almost. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Um, that walnuts, not a big nuts in my salad guy. Right. Yeah. Pomegranate and orange, dude. Pomegranate fruit. Yeah. Slices. Yep.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Slices or the seeds. Yeah. There you go. And then like, it's about to destroy you for not first Paul Newman, not pomegranates. And then, uh, slices you for not first Paul Newman up pomegranates and then slices of oranges dude Unbelievable, but number one for me is gotta be Greek salad to cease Caesar Yeah, yeah, yeah, Caesar's up there for sure, but I do like it Greek salad Dude, oh like a big block of fucking stupid feather in there. They got a chop up and mix around
Starting point is 00:13:02 You know, it's crazy. You've never had good Feta I went to Greece and had fair I've been to bed. Okay, so now you know everything right? Yeah, yeah I've had some real like cream cuz like the Feta you get that's dog shit. It's like a block of rubber No, no, I get the crumbles. No. Yeah, you want Feta that's like creamy. When you put it in your mouth, it melts. Dude, I was on the podcast, Are You Garbage? And they- Free plug, go ahead. We were talking about it.
Starting point is 00:13:31 And I was like, cause I buy a thing like this and it comes in like a little thing with a flap. I know what you're talking about. You don't want that. Of course he was gonna say that. I could have said literally anything. I buy a goat and I make it. He's like, you don't want that goat. But- I got the guy but I got the guy for their crumbles. Yeah, he's got a guy
Starting point is 00:13:48 I got a guy. He's got a crab guy. He's got a no. It's crazy. I got a Greek cheese guy I do I actually do I found one in fucking Jersey But the crumbles I used to throw him in like zins in the morning like hell Yeah, just put it in my lip and just walk around you know what I would have for breakfast sometimes You're gonna call me a little crazy for this you ready? Peter bread toast it up a little bit. Oh Thin layer of hummus or tzatziki. I'm in all right like whatever it is. I know where you're gonna be out Crumble feta on top. I'm getting fucking horny word and then I know you're gonna be out here, but I did this
Starting point is 00:14:24 Greek olives kalamata olives. I know you're not a big olive guy. Don't love I call it a Greek pizza Unbelievable for breakfast, dude None of that is a breakfast food Who's eating olives at fucking 8 a.m. Yeah, I know that I Am yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. Oh, there's a great don't ask me why they're good for you, but they are yeah Maybe I don't really know I don't know something about olives. I don't really but olive oil love that stuff. That's good stuff, babe Yeah, you everyone needs a good batch of olive oil. You know I'm saying yeah Not like this like store-bought nonsense like you need some like high quality like from the fucking from the orchards from the trees
Starting point is 00:15:02 You ever seen how they make them dude? I went to when I was in fucking oh yeah he went to Greece so he knows everything no oil and Feta now actually I'm well traveled this is in Portugal but we were in Dural Valley they'd make all the wineries make wine and olive oil so they have olive trees oh they like sell it and it's yeah this was me slamming a bottle on the table of They fucking sell it. They sell it. You see they like turn the thing and it like presses it and it just oil, oil. Did I tell you when I was out there one of the wineries on their list said they have like a wine that was only stopped by women.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Did you know that? And you didn't buy that one just because you didn't want to support them. Well, we did like a tasting thing. You hear that? Oh, you tasted it just to give them a little. No, no, we did a tasting. So we like, that wasn't part of our thing that we. What if, hear me out.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Yeah. Okay. You've got a great rating on your like, find my foot pic or whatever it is.com. Whatever it is. Yeah. Fuck my feet. I don't know what it is feet feet my bat feet my balls
Starting point is 00:16:06 Yeah What if? Secret handshake food Co great. I already know you're gonna say Let me say it got it, and then you can respond. That's how podcasts were right, okay secret handshake food Co You guys are looking to branch out outside of maybe more, you know, more hot sauces, more other stuff. You make wine or olive oil and they're mashed with your dirty stinky piggies. My feet?
Starting point is 00:16:34 Your fucking little piggies. Yeah. And they stink. What stinks? Your feet. No they don't! I'm just saying. Like, people would love your fucking-
Starting point is 00:16:42 You know what wine that smells like foot? Some people would, I guess. You know what wine that smells like foot? Some people would I guess. Some people do Joey! There is a certain like funk that people like in food. Funk has like a ca- it has like a place in like high-end food. Well cheese, although we're talking about funk here. We're talking about dirty fucking fart- farty cheese. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:01 That wine, remember that wine you tasted? The guy was like, it's a little farty. Yeah, the woman was like, you try it, guy was like, it's a little farty. Yeah, the woman was like, you try it, you smell it, it's a little farty. And I was like, are you saying a word that I don't know? It was like pH, farty? People like tea. Fungus, think about like different types of like, what's the fungus that you like?
Starting point is 00:17:18 The truffle, people like it, it'll be a little smelly. Yeah, but those don't smell like feet. But they smell funky, that's the point. People like the funk. Yeah. So just make a foot wine by Joe. Yeah. No. I'm not gonna do that. Okay. But anyway, I just thought it was interesting they were like only women. So then dudes are like, here, give me that. Dudes crushing my butt. It exposes the freaks out there. Dude, that's it sounded so cool too, because the woman who was giving us our tour, they showed us this like big concrete thing, and she's like, we fill all that with,
Starting point is 00:17:51 and they were filling it at the time, but like they fill it with all these grapes, and she's like, and then at night, for like two hours they have to do this. Like it's like a party, like they just drink wine and they're stomping the grapes, I'm like, that sounds fire. Do you know how bad I want to walk on? Like I want to stop.
Starting point is 00:18:07 I want to walk on grapes. You know what I want to go in? Where? Where the fucking cranberries are. Where you wear like overalls and you what? No. Why? No, you don't.
Starting point is 00:18:16 First of all, like I've driven through the cranberry fields in Jersey. How did you do that? Cause they're- I'm talking about where it's like water. Yeah, brother. Let me, let me talk and then you'll get all the information you need You haven't heard of the spiders What? Oh, yeah, what spiders the spiders, dude?
Starting point is 00:18:32 So those cranberry fields what they do for those of you guys that don't know cranberry cranberry juice cranberry vodka cranberry Cranberries cranberry vodka is a cocktail. I know you know what i'm talking about The way that they harvest them is they fill them up with water and the cranberries that are ready break off and float to the top but the spiders that run through the cranberry field float on top of them. So as you're wading through cranberries and gathering all the cranberries you're getting crawled on by I think they're called wolf spiders or something like that listen hear me out hold on spiders are in and of them I'm not afraid of spiders don't want to fuck with them though no if you give them the name of a notoriously pack
Starting point is 00:19:17 animal that people also fear yeah double scary any sort of animal that has another animals name in its animal name I I don't fuck with. Horseflies? No. Wild. Wild. Wolf spiders? Wild. Look them up. Look up cranberry field spider. And you will see... I'm gonna throw my computer. I... Yo... Ugh! Yeah, yeah. I was having a good day! So imagine you're wading through a field of like, crimson. And it looks beautiful.
Starting point is 00:19:43 And then there's 20 of these fucking spiders crawling all over your balls dude, I'm telling you. Pull it up. You think I'm fucking lying here? Ew! Yeah babe. Disgusting shit. Let's just stomp grapes.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Yeah let's do that. Let's go stomp. I don't wanna fall like remember that woman Those like one of the first viral videos I remember downloading that on lime wire I remember that as well. Yeah, and that just goes to show you kids if you're gonna cheat That's what happens you fall down your and you lose your air. I Don't know I Have no idea what's going on.
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Starting point is 00:21:52 websites folks, because I know that everyone has a little like side hustle, whatever they you know, do. And you need a good website for it. Trust me, it's important. It's like your first impression as a business. So get good websites. Go to squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay. And we also have liquid IV. Okay. Liquid IV. I just popped one this morning. All right. Um, but basically it's going to keep you hydrated, more hydrated than water. It has like three times the amount of electrolytes as the leading sports drink. But you just get 16 ounces of water,
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Starting point is 00:23:13 if you go to liquidiv.com and use the code basement at checkout, okay? I suggest you do it, love Liquid IV, tastes really good, makes you feel good. Liquidiv.com, use that code basement for 20% off And if you're still thirsty if you need something to quench that thirst well listen up baby. Just like Rob Thomas I don't want to be lonely no more and how's that gonna happen by going over to the patreon? That's right patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you so much
Starting point is 00:23:40 We are literally setting and breaking records for podcasts on much we are literally setting and breaking records for podcasts on Patreon. And it's because of people like you and you and you and you. And then guess what? You and you and you that may not have the opportunity to do it right now. Maybe do it next week. You're looking for a gift for that special someone Mother's Day, Father's Day, whatever kind of day is coming up. Patreon.
Starting point is 00:23:59 That's a great gift. And now listen, Frank, why do I get Patreon? Well, these weekly episodes, you get them seven whole days in advance. That's right, seven. Count to eight, minus one, count to six, go up one. That's seven, baby. You get these weekly episodes seven days in advance before anybody else.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Or before you little club of patrons over at patreon.com slash the basement yard. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes. Exclusive, X, exclusive with three X's. That's right. Joey's bringing out his balls over on patreon.com slash the basement yard. So go check it out. Thank you so much for everyone that has gotten us to over 29,000 as of this day of recording.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Who knows if we make 30,000 Joe already said he's going to let me piss on him. So you never know. Maybe maybe it will happen. He didn't say anything to it after five seconds. So guess what? That means it's happening. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Go check it out.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Thank you guys so much. And if you don't know how to spell patreon.com, I could tell you, but actually I'm going to leave a little trail of breadcrumbs for you. A little trail of Reese's pieces where your ugly ass ET head can follow. Okay. Now you can go. What are you even saying right now? Get out of there. I don't remember ET.
Starting point is 00:25:09 I remember ET. Reese's Pieces. Yeah. You remember that? Well listen, Reese's Pieces over at thebasementyard.com. I don't know how those things connect, but I don't need them to connect. Go check it out where you can find links to our Patreon, our merch, and you'll find, if you sign up for that little newsletter at the bottom Maybe you'll get information on those upcoming shows that may or might not be out
Starting point is 00:25:34 Dot-com all right don't don't you love hearing yourself talk? First of all don't don't you fucking, okay? Don't you even dare. Yeah. You sick bastard. Speaking of sick bastards... Who? Who's sick? I don't know if this is a sick bastard thing. Bro, Kate Middleton's missing.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Where the hell is this woman? Where is this white bitch? What's her title? I don't know. She's like the... She's not the queen. She's a princess. She's the Duke I Don't think that she's the Duke baby the Duke of Ellington. Nope. That's Duke Ellington. Okay, you're thinking He's thinking of Duke Ellington, which is a completely different thing jazz guy. Yeah, jazz guy. Okay. Oh Duchess Which is probably the opposite of Duke. I think so, but what does it mean?
Starting point is 00:26:28 Duchess Yeah, just repeating the word doesn't make it she definitely she is the Duchess of whatever she is. She's missing Millboro It that sounds like it's over there sounds like a white trash town in the middle of the country So I mean it probably is yeah But yeah, Kate Milton, here's the thing. Heard that she was missing and I was like, who knows? Who knows? Really? You know, several kids, maybe some privacy at home. I heard that she was in the hospital for something. Oh shit. What happened? I don't know. I think that,
Starting point is 00:26:58 I mean, I think that's like documented. She was like in the hospital for you. Okay. I mean, is she okay? Yeah. Uh, but she was in the hospital for something okay I mean she okay yeah but she was in the hospital for something and then no one has seen her and then they put out this fucking picture that was weird as fuck because it was like her and her kids and she's like we're a happy family all of the kids have their fingers crossed in the photo what yeah it's be doing weird shit like that though all of them kids are weird no and also one of them had them twisted the fuck up. I saw one that was like the wrist was like yeah It was clearly photo photo and she someone tweeted from like her account or like release a statement for her saying like I'm so
Starting point is 00:27:38 I'm not gonna. I'm just not gonna do the don't I'm saying like I'm sorry. I am an I'm an amateur photo editor And I messed it up. Oh My god, dude with this one. Do you think we're fucking stupid listen? It's the age of like conspiracies You think that some Dutch that would she Dutchess Dutchess of she's going on her laptop Downloaded Photoshop be like let me make this pretty that ain't happening isn't it like well documented that like the like the the the the Crown and the the royal princes. There's a lot of missus the castle Yeah, they called as a house how the royal family the royal family. That's right. I couldn't figure that out
Starting point is 00:28:16 They are like shady. Yeah, so like no one knows who goes on in those castle walls. What the hell I Thought you were I thought you were referencing this on castle walls by sticks, but never mind. All right No most obscure I know one stick song. That's it. It's a good renegade. It's a really good song. I believe it's on the same album, but I just did this woman like where she's I she's not here hear me out Remember years ago there was the movement to storm area 51 You remember that right? I do you guys might have forgotten about it. The government's like we are going to snipe you and they're like we got it Go
Starting point is 00:29:01 going to snipe you. And they're like, we gotta go! Can't get all of us! Dude! Guys literally said they can't get all of us. If someone told me, if you come here, I'm gonna snipe you, I'm gonna go anywhere else. But also, the idea of like, they can't get all of us, yes they can.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Yes they can, dude. Let me tell you, what they literally are planning to do, get all of us, every single one of us. They can get all of us. They can get every one of us. And not even be there. Like machines will get you. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Like give me a break. But take that idea. Storming area 51. And go to the castle. Oh. Because hear me out. I'm talking about revolution now. Hear me out. I know, we've done it before yeah, okay
Starting point is 00:29:47 Well, we have I'm they could do it over there over here. We're just gonna watch you know popcorn Yeah, yeah be fat slobs die slowly because our food is poisoned extra butter pop extra extra cholesterol yeah Because they you ever seen the the Royal Guards When they're walking around with guns from 1909! Yeah, what is that thing? You gonna get me with that? You think you can stab me with a bayonet?
Starting point is 00:30:11 Who are you? Where are you hiding? You big furry headed bastards. Get the fuck outta here! You think I'm gonna... are you kidding me? You literally... you ever play video games? Yes you have. We played together a whole lot. Their hitbox is so big.
Starting point is 00:30:24 That big ass furry hat. You hit that that you're knocking them down at least yeah, dude We and also these are the guards a couple of nutcrackers, dude Yeah, this is Christmas time just a fucking mowing them down. We'll find out Where Kate is I'm going we we gotta get her. We gotta. Operation Save Kate. Ap, op, did I say operation? Operation. Did I say, what did I say?
Starting point is 00:30:50 I don't know. I don't know either. Operation Save Kate. Yeah. Listen, Kate, I'm talking directly to you now. If you can hear me from your cell. I don't know, I don't know where she is. I think that she's hurt.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I hope she's not. I hope she's okay. Cause this is in the Haas. We're abbreviating hospital now, huh? Kate Middleton timeline. There we go. We're gonna solve it. As you're pulling that up.
Starting point is 00:31:15 We're gonna crack the case. As you're pulling that up, let me do this. All right, you ready? Listen, it's been busy over here. We paid a lot of attention to these brands that are really fighting for us. Are you just follow listen bread crumbs, babe I'm leaving them here right here like good bread. She's the princess of what? We said she's not a princess yet. Yeah She is listen as pop tarts and Taco bell and like all those brands are battling over us
Starting point is 00:31:46 help Will like send us some money and we'll help you Just a thought, you know, just an idea. That was the whole thing She was admitted to the hospital and underwent a planned abdominal surgery Okay A statement says she was expected to remain in the hospital for between 10 to 14 days and would take an absence from her public role,
Starting point is 00:32:10 expected to last until after Easter. Here's the thing. Bro, not even 10 to 12 days, what the fuck? No matter what the conspiracy is, we're not, no matter, this woman could come out tomorrow, literally, and like shake hands in the middle of Piccadilly Circus, and people would just be like, that's a robot.
Starting point is 00:32:29 They've made up their minds about the conspiracy. Yeah, they're working on the mask right now, like a realistic looking mask. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This is wild. Yeah, I don't know, but this photo is so fucking weird, bro. Like all the kids have their shit crossed like look at this kid's hands. Let me see What is that?
Starting point is 00:32:54 Why I'm gonna defend the kids here kids be doing weird stuff with their hands all the time, but she's Hiding across you see that hiding across see she's like she's like, oh don't see that? Hiding a cross? See, she's like, oh don't look at it, but I'm doing it too. I'm not, I'm not, it's the wrist. The wrist is the one. Look at that wrist. Yeah, yeah, the left wrist. The wrist is all fucked.
Starting point is 00:33:14 This is all fucked too. That left wrist, that's the one. But then this fucker's doing it too. Look. Wait, that doesn't look like him. No, no, no. These fingers are crossed. Yeah, that's a stretch there for crossed fingers, Joey.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Fine, but we got two crosses, and I saw another one that this face that she has in this picture is an old face. That's the one I saw too, is that like it's a- It's an old picture. It's like from an old photo shoot. Listen, we are keeping our ear to the ground now. Where's the goddamn fucking princess, dude? We are so at the forefront of breaking... Like, open, breaking wide open news. Yeah. That now, that the basement yard knows about this,
Starting point is 00:33:56 can't hide. Gee, can't. We're on the case. It's a big castle. It has like 400 rooms or some nonsense. I got time. Do you? You go 400 rooms? You got time for 400 rooms or some nonsense. I got time. Do you go 400 rooms?
Starting point is 00:34:06 You got time for 400 rooms. You think they have a lot of like laser You know like in movies were like there's lasers and you got to like dance in order to get I don't know I don't know because here's the thing with old buildings like that They don't want to put that stuff in there because it'll like You know, they've got they they're like happy with like the way it was like these are the original flows from when King Henry Shot his fucking wank all over Yeah, the princess of dottingham, you know like that's they care more about that than they do about lasers Oh my god, I wish I can know more about them
Starting point is 00:34:40 Like I want to know cuz they cuz I know the Queen for what you wish for bro Queen We used to be like like I've like heard this before that she has these uh Hand gestures that like mean shit and so like her got her what a wild concept you mean sign language you idiot No, you yeah, she's fucking deaf No, Joey, but you're saying like she has like hand gestures that like mean things No, no like yeah, you ever watch one fucking baseball game? They do too, it's not that hard of a concept. Heater.
Starting point is 00:35:08 No, I was saying, but she'll be in a conversation and she'll just do something very slight with her hand or her fingers or whatever, and then the fucking guys will know, okay, come with me, and bring her somewhere. It's kind of wild. She's got a playbook, she's got a playbook. She's gone. Yeah, she had a playbook she's got a playbook. She's gone.
Starting point is 00:35:25 Yeah, she had a playbook. She had a playbook. She had a playbook. Well, I imagine if you're the most important person to them, like... By the way, I don't want to jump too far off, but I swear to God this happened, I'm not making this up.
Starting point is 00:35:39 The other day, yesterday, I was in the car, and I'm parked and I look to my left, and there's a car that just pulls up. The queen. No, and there's two people and they're having a sign language fight. I thought it was a fight or maybe they were just really excited but the hands were flying and I was like I've never seen this before in my life really. Like How often do you see people doing sign language to each other? Very rarely, if ever.
Starting point is 00:36:07 That's what I'm saying. So I looked and I'm like, oh my God, they're just signing the shit out of stuff. Well, I don't know what I just said. Now you've got a couple people, the royal family's mad at us, probably a couple different gangs after what you just did. No, I was mixing it up.
Starting point is 00:36:22 But I think that's super cool. You know what I love? I love when people who have... What a fucking ally you are, Joey. Way to go. I was going to get to my point. All right, go ahead. I was gonna say I love when people who like,
Starting point is 00:36:35 have people in their life that are like, deaf and they do sign language, and then they learn it, even though they don't need to learn it. I'm kinda jealous. You can take American Sign Language classes? I mean, it's, it's, uh, you took like a 12-year-old psychology class from Yale Online. I'm sure if you want to do something beneficial with your time, you can take a sign language class.
Starting point is 00:36:56 I feel like, you think that's harder than speaking a lang- like, you know what I mean? Is that like- I don't know. That's a really great question because- How would you know what I mean? Is that like? I don't know. That's a really great question because. How would you know all the things? I mean, I think there's like, it's like court stenographers. There's like a place to start. And then like there are general branches that you can go to get the point across. Like it's not a one-to-one translation with most words.
Starting point is 00:37:17 Yeah. You know, so I don't know, try it out. You never know. You might find out that you're just like a, that would make our show even more accessible to the general public Mmm, is if we had a little bubble right here of us just signing what we're saying This means bullshit. I Think honestly I might be wrong now
Starting point is 00:37:39 Or poop maybe that maybe that's poop Which is the butt in that case? I think this is the poop and this is the butthole. Oh and it comes out of the poop comes out of the book I think actually yeah, I think you're right. I think you pull this down instead of pulling this up. Oh, I'm not sure Whatever, but I think it is poop. All right. We're on we're on Princess watch. Yeah, we're on Princess watch We're gonna figure this thing out and we're gonna we're gonna figure it out. No big deal also, I wanted to talk about this too. I I Got a new bed recently. Yeah, and they have to call to like schedule the delivery. I ordered this shit months ago. Mm-hmm and
Starting point is 00:38:18 And I missed the call for them when they were calling to like, oh we got to schedule the delivery or whatever So the guy leaves me a voicemail. Okay with like a He's talking like a fucking i'm waiting for this incredibly interesting story to have some How about I throw a grenade at you? How about that honestly i'd catch it throw it right back at you and then we're both in trouble No, because I would throw it back at you after that. We're in such a small room that both of us are in big old fat trouble Do you think if a grenade blew up in the corner of that room and we were in the corner of this room huddled up that we would be fine?
Starting point is 00:38:50 No. I think we'd be fine. I mean, fine, we'd get hurt in some capacity. Of course we'd be hurt. Because it's shrapnel, brother. Yeah, we would have stuff in our backs that would hurt. Oh, just the back, nothing you need it for. Yeah, but like, cover, we'll cover up.
Starting point is 00:39:04 I think I'll bear with what with what? What if I was wearing a sweater? That's kind of far now. You know what you're right because when they created Grenades they didn't even take into account that people might be wearing clothing great way to go Joey Yeah, I don't know the blast radius of a grenade if you put it in that corner Which is from me probably like 10 to 12 feet away, bro. You're in trouble. What's the blast radius of? Grenade probably 25 feet More
Starting point is 00:39:39 So for those you guys that have not been following we have been wildly off with our estimations lately So the first one was how long until whales need to come up for, or whales or whales need to come up for air. We said it was like two days. Turns out it's two hours. Then it was how much meat do polar bears eat? We said 600 pounds. It turns out it's like six.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Now Joey, what is the blast radius of a grenade? What did you say? I said 25 feet. 50 feet? Okay. The lethal, the killing distance of a grenade without body armor or protection, so maybe a hoodie is a protection, a single grenade can kill an individual up to 10 meters away. That's 30 feet.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Is it? That's, a meter away. That's 30 feet. Is it? That's a meter is about three, three and change feet. That's so much further than I thought. Yeah. What did you think? And you know, it doesn't like explode with like a fireball. It's shrapnel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:37 That's why they look like that. That's why grenades had looked like that, where it looks like, you know, like the ribbed ribs because those are the weak points and they then they shrap at the weak points I don't even know I don't say I don't know what a grenade is is I don't know if there's there's like pieces of shit in there I know what shrapnel is well no the the casing itself is what breaks oh and I think there's pieces inside that also break like little ball bearings or something Interesting but not all grenades look like that. There's circular like black ones. You guys came here
Starting point is 00:41:16 For talk on the royal family and grenades grenades and salads boy We have the episode for you Grenades and salads. I one day want someone I need to throw a grenade in my life need need to throw it you know I think it was World War two they purposefully made them look like baseballs because the average American male was comfortable throwing a baseball smart to me very smart smart smart I need someone while you're pulling up whatever the hell nonsense you're pulling on now I'm just like not doing I need someone literally to make a chart a Chart on where literally a snake chart. What are they called snake sure? That's not what they're called
Starting point is 00:41:55 I don't even know what you're referring like it's episode starts and we go topic by topic and you watch us where we go Until the very end I need to see how that that happens. Yeah I mean it's it's bananas. But yeah there is some explosive material in there that's for sure and these grenades. Yeah. Wow you never really think about that you know you just throw them. Back to your riveting conversation about your bed. Don't shit on my story before the story starts. But anyway so I'm getting a new bed, I got a voicemail from the guy and it's basically like, I'll call us back to whatever. This is how he leaves the voicemail. Let me guess you fucking piece of shit, the bed doubles as a treadmill.
Starting point is 00:42:34 No, it's a bed. Okay. Water bed? Water bed? What is it? 1971? You get in a waterbed? No. You ever been on a waterbed? I don't think so I have once water That's what it feels like it just feels like you're laying on water not not comfortable at all I feel like when I was younger it was like a cool not a cool Yeah, well we were it was like a big 90s thing no but like wasn't it also like oh having sex on a waterbed was Like so sought-after for some, that would honestly be impossible. Not only impossible, not kind of fun, kind of not fun. Yeah, like now I'm fighting the tide.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't think that's the best for us. That's a really good question. Because when I'm, when you are humping. Yeah, that's it. That's your creating. You really put your whole body into your hump. That's how you're humping. But when you're humping, you're humping. Yeah, that's it. You really put your whole body into your hump. That's how you're humping?
Starting point is 00:43:26 No, but when you're humping, you're creating waves. But when they hit the headboard, they're coming back at you. You know what I mean? Oh, you mean on a waterbed? Yeah. I thought you meant literally like in your current sexual capacity. No, no, I'm saying when you're on a waterbed,
Starting point is 00:43:41 like you make a wave, it has to come back. It's like being in like a small pool. Remember the one person in the middle just jumps up and down and it just fucking Yeah, like yeah, I don't think that would be nice Yeah, go buy a waterbed sex in it and then tell me how it is. I'm not gonna do that. But anyway, listen to this Hey, is that your order? Hey, early as convenience, can you please give us a call at 1-888-413-72? I can't call an A to D for 1-387-2. Are you fucking kidding me, bro? Play it again, play it again.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Bro, this is your job. Wait, so that was the guy, the delivery man, leaving a number. He works for fucking West Elm. Okay, tell him where you got it from while you're at it. What's gonna happen? You never know. But the guy, he works for West Elm, so I have to just call to schedule when they come to
Starting point is 00:44:27 my apartment to give me the bed. And you're supposed to say it clearly. And he says it twice and both of them are, even it's like one eight eight eight and he says one eight eight eight, one eight eight eight. And even that I'm like, what are we doing? Well here's the thing. Honestly, in today's society where you call from a number and it's most likely the number
Starting point is 00:44:48 that you're leaving in a voicemail, he didn't need to. Well, it's not. You're the problem here. It's not the number. I have the number right here. It's a 1-800 number. Oh. Obviously I can look at that number, you dumb ass.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Well, I got like not scolded once, but like I was told, cause I worked in my old job. I had to leave detailed messages and I would always leave my voicemail number at the end twice. It was like my callback number twice. And you're just saying like, again, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. But I said it very clearly, but then someone said to me,
Starting point is 00:45:16 they're like, your number comes up on the caller ID. You don't need to do that. I mean, this one is different. And also it's bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Yeah, it's not, it's not bop,-up bup-up-up bup-up-up Yeah, it's that's what it is. I'm up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up It's convenient, can you please give us a call at one eight eight for one three 72. Tiny Tim? He said, what I heard was one eight eight for three 72. Sign it Tim. Or seven eight two. Sign it Tim.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Definitely didn't hear a different, like now we're missing digits. All right, here, the appropriate way to leave a call back number. Or give out your number. Bop, bop, bop, area code first, you bop it. Unless you're in other countries where it's like plus one, eight, four, three, divide a voice, six.
Starting point is 00:46:07 Like when you're giving me like a fucking like algebra algorithm and you know, like I don't need that shit. I don't want that. It needs to be bop bop bop. Yes. Bop bop bop. It's a double bop bop bop.
Starting point is 00:46:20 Two bops and then bop bop, bop bop. Yeah, up and then down. Bop bop bop bop bop, bop bop. Yeah, up and then down. Bop bop, bop bop. Bop bop. Bop bop. Don't you. This shit. And it better be individual digits.
Starting point is 00:46:30 It better not be. Call 888-461-8002. Yeah, I hate that. No! Yeah, no. Don't. 11800, what? What?
Starting point is 00:46:42 What? I hate that. I hate that so. The fuck are you talking about? Don't do that where there's like, 11800 what what? Don't do that where this like oh you can call me at 468 no no Make it easy when when when you're giving a phone number you have to imagine the person on the other on the receiving end is the dumbest person on 438 119 what ha it's so it's so bad dude. you got a pop up up to two pop up ups up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up But like I had to call. Is it a nice bed? I haven't gotten, I don't have the bed. Well you said we got the bed. Oh, like I talked to the guy, I'm like, you know.
Starting point is 00:47:29 I had to call West Elm and be like, I don't know where to go. Headboard? Yeah. Okay. There are people that don't do headboards. I'm a headboard king, I agree with headboards. Why, what would you do?
Starting point is 00:47:42 Just have your fucking head hitting your wall like you're in college still? Had a headboard my whole life that ain't true at all. I've had a headboard No, I know I we've reached the interesting part of the conversation We do have some more sponsors for today. We have Stamps calm yes You can get all the amazing services of the US Post Office right at your fingertips, at your computer, at home.
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Starting point is 00:49:47 It's nice to just have people to just talk to, even if you have nothing super traumatic or if you don't think anything is going on in your life, that's like, you know, whatever. It's just nice to put your stuff on someone else and get some feedback. It feels good, keeps you sharp. But yeah, you can go to betterhelp.com to save some money because also therapy,
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Starting point is 00:50:33 All right. Do it, do it, do it, do it. You know what I mean? I could do it, do it and do it, do it, do it, do it. Remember that? Shut up, bro. You know what song I heard today on the way in that I haven't legitimately heard since 2008? Remember ASAP by TI? ASAP. ASAP. ASAP. I mean, you
Starting point is 00:50:54 didn't hear it on the radio clearly. It was on your iPod. No, it was on. It was on SiriusXM. Yeah, bro. Sirius. Absolutely free plug because they don't need our help. Yeah. They have one fucking channel that's all just hip hop from 2000 to 2010. What channel? Or 2020. It's called like Flex 2K. Okay. Unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:51:15 I gotta get on that. It's so good. Like that's where like literally one day it was like, it was like fucking like them franchise boys. And then right after it was like a little wet like but like not just like hits like you go on like these like deal cuts Deep cuts they put a subs a D cut a subs a D cut they put on stunt man by them franchise boys or D4L Sorry D4L's I got money man. I got money man. Stunt man. I was fucking damn what the fuck I was throwing my ass back in a Kia.
Starting point is 00:51:46 In your fa- Let me be very clear. Everyone's getting free plug, serious, Kia, it's all good. Oh yeah, just don't mention a brand ever again. What are we fucking, Amazon bro? We'll be fine. This company's not making money because we said their name. You never know, Kia might be like, hey we want to sponsor you guys, here is a new car. You already, Joey doesn't care, he's big fucking, I'm to sponsor you guys. Here is a new car. Hmm. You already eat. Joey doesn't care. He's big fucking. I'm luxury car, Joe. What are you doing with your arms?
Starting point is 00:52:12 What is that? That's me. That's me. A hundred percent. Also, you have a brand new car. I do, but it's a sensible car that gets 40 miles to the gallon. And that's why I took it. On the highway? Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:24 You know how much I averaged on the way here? 43 miles a gallon. Ooh. Dude. You did the math. No, no, no, in my car, it has a gauge and it tells you however you're driving, it tells you how much you average.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Oh, nice. So from the start of my trip to the end of it. Yeah. 43. That's pretty good. That's really good. Yeah. You kidding me? What is your dumb ass car again, like four? I don, 43. That's pretty good. That's really good. Yeah, you kidding What do you what is your dumbass car get like for I don't know it ain't for you remember in like the mid-2000s people
Starting point is 00:52:51 We're just like we're gonna have gas guzzlers that get like 13 gallons, you know miles per hummers How dumb are hummers dumber hummer? That's why they're gone. Did these are called blowjobs hummers? What is that? Wait, wait, wait, what Someone I when I went to high school Someone's like oh, she gave you a hummer. I was like what are you talking about? Hold on what who the hell was sucking dick in your school people in high school people are sucking and fucking But they're calling them hummers well someone said that I was sexually repressed for those fucking priests in your school where oh That's why they couldn't talk about what was actually happening. No you idiot I'm always gonna bring up that you went to a Catholic school.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Yeah, and you're always gonna bring up that. You were maybe fingered. No. Definitely fingered? No. Oh, okay. Or I got a- Please. I got an urban dictionary.
Starting point is 00:53:39 What Hummer means now. I'm pretty sure it means like blowjob. All right, urban. I don't know why. Or someone said like a gum, gummer? Gummer might make sense. Like your g sure it means like blowjob. Alright. I don't know why or someone said like a gum gummer gummer might make sense like your gums but like because of yeah because of oh like an old woman with no person yeah yeah yeah do you think that would be good i don't know that it would you know old old head oh but like you know it's like, she took out her dentures. You know what I mean? And it's like, I don't know that gums feel that good,
Starting point is 00:54:07 but I don't know. Oh shit. What? Hummer on urban dictionary. The second definition is one of the least fuel efficient vehicles on earth. We knew that. One, even better than a blow job.
Starting point is 00:54:21 It's when the person actually hums, vibrates their lips while their mouth is around your cock. Wait. How hard can you hum? Yeah, there you go. Put your finger around, like put your finger in your mouth and hum as hard as you can. And see, like, do you think it'd be sick?
Starting point is 00:54:39 Hmm. Hmm. I don't think anyone wants to get blown in here, sound imagine someone just going to town on your tiny dick and they're just like There's like just like vibrating like a phone Yeah You do it Yeah, you don't want to do it. Do you? No, I don't I don't want to pantomime
Starting point is 00:55:05 No, I'm saying a man. Yeah, you don't want to do it. Do you? No, I don't I don't want to pantomime No, I'm saying a man. Yeah, I don't know there was like a there was like a whole Thing back in the day where it was like all this was like ice in your mouth would make a blowjob I heard about the ice in the mouth I heard there was always those wild like fucking pop-brop and this is before you could really validate it with the internet. So like People would just... Make shit up. They would spread it like wildfire. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Yeah, I saw... Fuck. Ice cubes on him like a nipple though. Not your nipple. I know, well, I wasn't afraid, but coming from... You are afraid of nipples. Coming from big nipple guy over here. No one's big nipple guy.
Starting point is 00:55:41 You're big nipple, dude. People, people touch nipples. I touch nipples. Okay? Let big nipple guy. You're a big nipple dude. People touch nipples. I touch nipples. Okay, let's be very clear. All right. Yeah, I mean. My wife and I have a great sex life. We have a great nipple life. And nipples are a part of it. I'm not going to get too much into the woodwork of it because that's between her and I. I agree. But nipples are included, not mine. Right. Not mine. My nipples are out the gate.
Starting point is 00:56:07 You have high walls. Hell yeah. You have a better chance. Not a compliment. You have a better chance of getting into area 51 than to suck my nipples. Can't get all of us. I just, you're a big nipple guy.
Starting point is 00:56:23 You're playing with them for pictures. You're talking about they're sucking on your nipples You are it is well documented on the show well documented it is absolutely well documented on the show disagree with me no You're so you're gonna agree with me But that was a disagreement. I said disagree with me. And I said no. So you're agreeing with me.
Starting point is 00:56:50 No that's a disagreement. If you asked me to disagree with you and then I- wait. Exactly. Oh no if I'm saying I don't- wait hold on. You're asking- No I got you, listen. Listen bitch! The nipple talk is too much for big fucking Joey nips. You told me disagree with me. You're a The nipple talk is too much for big fucking Joey nips. You told me disagree with me, right?
Starting point is 00:57:06 You're a big nipple guy. And you said, and I said disagree with me. And you said, no, you won't disagree with me. My turn. You said disagree with me. And I said, no. Which means what? Which means what?
Starting point is 00:57:16 Which means you're not going to disagree with me. And I was saying you're big nipple guy. So you won't refute what I'm saying. And you will admit that you're a big nipple guy. Yes, but then that also yeah But that he said yes, but that means that we disagreed. No. Yes. No you asked me to disagree I said i'm not going to know the no is a confirmation of of not disagreeing So you are confirming you are in agreement with my ability to ask you to disagree
Starting point is 00:57:42 I was saying you're a big nipple guy. I'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna lay it out on the table for you I said you're a big nipple guy. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to lay it out on the table for you. I said you're a big nipple guy. And then you were saying no. And I said, yes, you are disagree with me. But then I didn't disagree with you. And then you said no, meaning no, I'm not going to disagree with you. Right. So that's a disagreement. But that, but that's a, that, but that is an agreement with the original agreement. They're two negatives, they cancel each other out. I disagree. No, don't. Who's on first? You were disagreeing when I asked you to disagree,
Starting point is 00:58:18 which means you were in agreement with the original statement, which means you are affirming and confirming that you are big nipple Joe Joey nips Joey areolas pointy Joey are you know pointy Joe pointy nipple Joe bumpy boy Joe you can stop also before we get out of here, can you bring up the entrepreneur guy? No. Okay. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:58:53 No, I saw something that was just like, because we often laugh about these like fucking TikTok entrepreneurs or like Twitter guys that are just like reinventing the wheel that are just saying like, I figured it out. If you're not working three eight hour shifts a day, you are losing. And it's like, that's just like reinventing the wheel that are just saying like I figured it out If you're not working three eight-hour shifts a day you are losing and it's like that's just the day There's even worse shit that I've been saying there are like you found ones that were just like it's like yo when you read What are you doing? What are you reading? People like words and he's like words, right? So words are a
Starting point is 00:59:20 symbol of translation so if you try to understand and I'm like No, the best will be like, if you have trouble reading quickly, you can read 10 times more and be more efficient and make $30 more per day. But look at the words and break them down per letter. And if you look at it like that, you are fundamentally breaking down
Starting point is 00:59:38 the way that this is constructed and you are finding yourself more efficient. It's like, dude, just eat a pizza. Like, shut up. There's some Twitter fucking entrepreneur who claims to have invented something called bottle night. And he's like, have you ever heard of bottle night? Bet you haven't, my girlfriend and I made it up.
Starting point is 00:59:55 We take a night where we drink wine and we don't be on our phones and we talk. That's called being in a relationship. It's like how low is the bar for men that we have to just pretend we've invented speaking to our partners. Bet you never thought of this. Have a glass of wine and talk to your wife. Hey men, I have a great life hack for you.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Talk to that bitch. And see what happens. You will be more efficient and women will want to be in your fucking ass. Dude, it's like, what are we talking about? How stupid, how dumb. Did you say it was like during the pandemic? No, I think he said it was during a blizzard last year. Oh, okay. Last year. Last, it was like during a blizzard in Buffalo last year. Last it was like during a blizzard in Buffalo last year. We invented this thing where we talk How miserable I? Am an inventor okay? I was snowed in and I'm like I'm not going to let this time go to waste
Starting point is 01:01:01 I'm gonna come up with a thing that the world hasn't seen and then it hit me Men I'm gonna talk to her. You know how stupid men are. Men, if men believe they figured out like- Anything at this point. Anything, they'll run with it. If it ain't software, it's been done. I can't, I wish I was this man's girlfriend.
Starting point is 01:01:21 I don't, what a wild thing to say, but like- I wish. man's girlfriend. I don't. What a wild thing to say. But like, I just like, imagine he's just like, honey, I figured it out. Here's what we have nothing else we can do. I'm going to talk to you. Yeah. And you're going to talk to me. Yes. And I think if we do it correctly, we'll be better off. It will be connected How insanely dumb are men are well just shit she might idiots But also she might be an equally fucking stupid person to go oh
Starting point is 01:01:58 No, that sounds amazing here would be here's what probably happened realistically she wanted to fucking stroke his ego So he showed She just went like Honey You figured it out. That's amazing. We're back to my cousin Vinny where he's like, oh my god, honey You cracked the case it's dog shit. Yeah. No, I mean there's I mean who knows It's just how like people are so dumb It is so insane that like the bar for men is so low that women just need to be like you figured out I feel like you're throwing man. Like I do agree with you. But also I think there's another person a part of this here
Starting point is 01:02:40 She's kind of dumb. She's she's done by association. She's done by association. She's just like Yeah No, but here's where I'll give her the out. I'll give her an out and she gets a defense Show us the text thread the night that your boyfriend came up with that with your girlfriends because if she was being like He is so smart. Then she's just dumb if she's like idiot, like that's where the truth will be in the text thread with her girlies. Hey man, you're not allowed to say girlies. That's just, that's just the rules.
Starting point is 01:03:15 Show us the receipts! We want to know. Give us Kate Middleton. We want to know where she is. We want to know where she is. Let's not forget that she is. The princess of Duchess. What is it? The Princess of where?
Starting point is 01:03:26 The Princess of the Wales. Of Orcas. The gay Wales that we spoke about last week. Those are humpbacks. The Princess of Humps. The Princess of Wales. I'm pretty sure the Princess of Humps is Fergie. That's Fergie. Um, but doesn't it sound like the Princess of Wales has something to do with Aquaman?
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's like, that's the sequel to the Moana movie. Moana 2, the Princess of Wales. Where is she? We gotta go get her. I had never seen Moana, I heard it was great. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Oh well, I'm not kidding. I am impressed sometimes at the absolute shallow depth of your knowledge sometimes. You could know about like 20 million dollar watches, but you've never seen an already iconic piece of Disney animation.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Listen, bitch, it's a one, let's get this out of the way, child's movie. Like fuck you don't be one of those elitist pricks an animated movie I'm not I saw Luca. It's not I saw Luca. It's the same shit I've seen fucking not inherently and it's not inherently a child's movie It is for everyone got thought it is for everyone and that's a good one, too Incredible it is for everyone and it is not just for children. I know that but you're making it seem like it's crazy I also haven't seen Barbie and Oppenheimer, but that's the type of that's the type of mentality that you old white bastards Oh do I are doing that that limits and puts a glass ceiling on the performance and the popularity of animated movies
Starting point is 01:04:58 They're not they're not children's movies They can be geared toward children But if you fucking take off your stupid-ass glasses and you look at them do the lens of some like an adult with experiences you'll see there's something for you there too you bastard sign off at F Alvarez 885 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez all foreign souls media get out of here can I say something no about you no you suck okay you suck all right okay that whole thing so I'll take that today, I'll take it. Honestly, I'll let it.
Starting point is 01:05:25 I feel like I haven't seen every fucking Pixar movie there ever is. Have you? Relax. Have you? Clearly not. Wait, is that Pixar? You so stupid.
Starting point is 01:05:34 You are so stupid. It's not Pixar? It's not Pixar. What is that? Moana is just Disney animation. I love all that. Get him out. You guys can go follow me at JoeSanagato
Starting point is 01:05:44 on all platforms. Go follow the show at the basement yard on Tick tock and Instagram and also go to the basement yard comm I know we keep fucking saying this and I'm just as annoyed as you but we're trying to figure out one these guys Throwing these dates are coming. Jesus Christ the dates for the tour are coming, but they are coming Don't worry about it sometime in April will be on the road See you guys out there. Who knows? But anyway, see you guys next time. Bye.

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