The Basement Yard - #443 - The Princess Is Missing!
Episode Date: March 25, 2024Has anyone seen her?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Welcome back to the base-
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Welcome back to the basement, y'all.
I'm just Frankie, anywhere else I'd be a three.
Standing next to you, you have abs and I have a beer belly.
I put that together right now.
Right now.
Can you believe that?
Well, I don't have abs
You have more closer to abs than I do
What the fuck? That sentence kicked the shit out of you
Sorry, I watched the Oscars Sunday, and I'm just I can't that I'm just Ken performance fucking rock my balls off
I did see it. You got crushed it. Yeah, it pisses me off though
Why like because he's just like yeah
He could sing too. Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Brian got the fuck out. Just listen. You've got the looks you've got the acting ability
He's got please he has to have a small set of fucking balls and cock like he's need to have probably not dude even Mendez
She's not she you know what are you about to say?
I'm just saying I'll come over there and slap your glasses off you want to know exactly what I was Mendez? She's not, she's, you know. What are you about to say? I was gonna say.
I'll come over there and slap your glasses off.
You wanna know exactly what I was gonna say?
What?
She's not probably caring about dick and balls size.
Oh, oh. I thought you were gonna say that she's not that hot. I was gonna say I'm gonna take your head off.
No, even Mendez is a beautiful woman.
Beautiful!
But, just a little fucked down.
She's a beautiful woman.
Jesus Christ, get off your fucking horse. You came in horned up.
Joey walked to the studio today and I knew the energy he was bringing with him today.
Sorry. I knew it
I know that when you do anything like like energy wise like act active before we record you come in here fucking full cock
Testosterone pumping ready to go. I don't know. It's funny. I got an email
Remember I said like you get emails like oh, we'd love to work with you with you know, these cool brands
Yeah, or come to this really cool event.
I got one for like testosterone boosters.
I was like, what the hell?
We see how estrogen up you are.
Yeah, it's like people are looking at me
and they're like, male enhancement
is exceptionally important.
And your audience needs to know.
And it's like, what the fuck does that mean?
That's funny, I like that.
But yeah, this guy, Ryan Gosling just goes out there and just fucking crosses it
I didn't know you could sing like that. I'm sure it's it's helped. I'm sure it's not I'm sure it's helped
I'm sure it's helped still. I mean you got to be a little tone
I mean when you have the like
Highest paid fucking people teaching you and walking you through singing of course. That's fair. I'm sure you could do it
I mean...
I just watched, uh, oh, Crazy Stupid Love the other day.
Favorite rom-com ever.
What?
Yeah.
Aw, it's okay.
Takes his shirt off in that too, on my wall.
He does.
That's a great cast, too.
You got Julianne Moore, Steve Carell, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling.
Is Marissa Tomei in that?
She is in that.
Shady?
Oh my god, I love her. Love Marissa Tomei. I'm in love with Marissa Tomei in that? She is in that. Shady? Oh my god, I love her.
Love Marissa Tomei.
I'm in love with Marissa Tomei.
The first time I saw her and my cousin Vinny, I was just like, what is this?
Right.
And then I heard her talk about-
And also what's happening? You know what I mean?
Oh, you thought I was doing boner talk. That's what you thought, brother.
You thought I was talking boner talk.
You didn't think that she was attractive in that movie?
Of course she's a good looking person. I'm not saying that by any stretch. What were you saying, brother. You thought I was talking boner talk. You didn't think that she was attractive in that movie? Of course she's a good looking person.
I'm not saying that by any stretch.
What were you saying, what is that then?
Just saying like, what, like this is like,
it's an insane package.
Oh, it's a new type of woman that you've never seen.
And she came out and she was Mona Lisa Vito.
Yep.
And then when she told us about the 1967 Buick Skylark.
Yeah, how's your Chinese food?
Bro, that movie, when they do like the whole like the ticking time bomb my clock is ticking away
Yeah, I almost pissed my not to mention your
Biological clock that movie if you guys have not watched my cousin Vinnie do yourself. You're not a citizen and get out
That felt like that charged politically
2024 Oh, that felt like that charged politically 2024
Yeah, but and you watched Barbie right wrong you haven't watched Barbie I haven't seen it now
I'm boycotting it because of women. Oh, yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. No, I just haven't seen I haven't seen Oppenheimer either
I haven't seen Oppenheimer yet either. I heard it was the movie of the year
Well by by award standards, it literally was given movie of the year. Well, by award standards,
it literally was given movie of the year.
So yeah, you heard correct.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know who won anything.
That's not true.
I saw that Emma Stone won for something.
Fucking chill, dude.
Sorry.
What's going on?
He came in with fat cock energy today.
I'm letting you guys know.
That's who won.
I don't know.
I do. Okay, relax. You're very sensitive. That's who won. I don't know. I do.
Okay, relax.
You're very sensitive.
But I saw that Emma Stone won for some movie
and then I was on Hulu and I saw it.
So I watched the trailer.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no.
I have no desire to watch it.
It's crazy to me that movies like that,
like people win awards for movies like that
because I'm like, I haven't even seen a commercial
for this.
I'd heard of it when it was coming out
But you know I have my ear to the ground a little closer than you do yeah
It's like movies and stuff
But like well the foe's got a deformed face in this thing, and I don't know I should know about it
Will the folk you hear he's playing us for Ratu
That makes sense. He looks like a vampire. He looks like a bat he
He does.
He does. Willem Dafoe looks like a bat.
You ever seen the clip of him that's gone viral
where he's like trying to explain someone,
he's like, he's in the classical music and he's gay.
He does look like a vampire.
Yeah, she won lead actress for her role in poor things
Yeah, which is directed by a guy the Greek is name. I've ever heard your ghost Lanthro most Jesus
That sounds like a good dish with a lot of feathers
Like there'd be a Greek grape leaf stuck on top of him, you know, yeah
Yeah, like a whole fuck it by the way Greek salad the fuck is saying salad cuz fuck you. That's the best salad
I love that. So Caesar's up there Fuck you, that's the best salad on the planet. I love that salad.
SAAA, Caesar's up there.
Yeah.
You ever had real Caesar though?
Yeah, when they mixed the fucking-
I wanna- I wanna do it.
You wanna- you wanna crush up a fucking anchovy?
Well, hold on. I wanna have real Caesar salad.
So do I.
I don't want like this Newman's Own garbage.
Yeah, no.
That's not real.
I've been to a restaurant where they make it next year.
Paul. Paul. Newman. I'm on to you.
He's dead. He's gone.
Yeah.
Wait, Paul Newman? Newman's Own. Is he one with from the movies. Are you fucking kidding me?
He's the one who made Caesar salad. Hold on. Hold on. Are you stupid? He's not the one who made Caesar
He's not Caesar, but he's that's his he's a sound Newman's own the popcorn the dressing. That's Paul Newman
Paul Newman the actor
The guy with the fucking watch. Yes. Yes.
Yes.
This guy's got an empire.
Oh, you had?
Long dead.
Super dead, yeah.
But I'm being serious.
You- oh, no, no, no, no.
You didn't know that-
No!
Next you're not gonna- you don't know who Orville Redenbacher is.
He's popcorn.
He's popcorn.
But I don't know who that is.
Are you kidding me?
Why are you making it seem like I don't know the popcorn guy, so that's crazy. Wait, you I don't know who that is. Are you kidding me? Why are you making it seem like I don't know
the popcorn guy so that's crazy.
Wait, you really don't know.
No, who's Orville Redford?
Oh no, you're making it up.
I know, Orville, I'm making it up.
Newman's own is legitimately Paul Newman though.
Really?
Yeah, that's his like whole, like that was his like,
I'm an actor, I'm in the score,
I'm in like Butch Cassidy, Sundance Kid, right?
I think that one, him and Robert Redford.
I've never seen like anything.
Robert Redford. People say I look like a young Robert Redford. I've never seen like anything Robert Redford People say I look like a young Robert Redford
Dude, look it up. Look it up. I'm not looking anything up. Please. Nope. All right
But yeah, you didn't know that he was so I want like real Caesar salad not like Paul Newman Caesar salad, right?
Yeah, you know you've had it. I've had it. It's good. It's great
I love what I love a good fresh salad when you go to a restaurant
Especially if you go to like a steakhouse or something and then they they bring out like a cold salad dude like a cold one
my favorite part of
red lobster is
When you piece of trash
My favorite part of red lobster as well. I haven't I love the biscuits. I love red lobster as well. I haven't loved the biscuits. I love my best kids I haven't been in a number of years, but when I would go when I knew that that
Caesar salad was coming out on a plate that you could have sworn just got flown in from the Arctic
Yeah, I love a cold cold
Salads give me your top three salads and like traditional salads not like a fucking you know like you're going to like it
They have like a weird one. I like a Caesar salad grilled chicken bingo, but I but I do love a Greek salad as well. Yeah
Love but like traditionally Greek or like Romaine Greek no no no like traditionally Greek so just I've never had a Romaine Greek salad
Yes, you definitely have with Romaine lettuce. Yeah, any Greek salad
I've ever had and this is the point that I was getting to. Greek salad, I don't know that you could call yourself a salad.
Tomato, cucumber, onion, and just tons of feta.
Yeah, but there's no like leaf.
But that's why it doesn't need to be.
Because, that's what I'm saying, it's barely a leaf.
A fruit salad doesn't have leaves, but you call it a fruit salad, right?
That's another bullshit thing though.
No, it's not, Joey.
It can't be a salad without the lettuce.
Big salad is trying to take control of the fact that they need greenery
I like a salad. I like a cop chicken salad all that shit is food a salad all that shit is disgusting
You're fucking stupid tuna salad shrimp salad chicken set shit to shrimp salad
All that shit is nasty to me chicken Chicken salad, tuna salad, tuna fish, egg salad.
Disgusting. You're crazy Joey. You're crazy. You're eating eggs and mayo. Like just move.
Oh, it's so deli- Out of a container. First of all, out of a container. You stupid fucking inbred bitch.
Okay. You're not inbred I know your parents I don't first of all you're
closer to inbred than me your uncle your cousin or whatever my uncle's aren't
fucking any of my cousins okay cousins are fucking themselves yeah not my
uncles or aunts or anyone in direct got it got it um Becca are we on salad she makes the like chicken salad egg
salad tuna salad shrimp salad I swear to God I swear to God it's the greatest
thing on the planet I'm not doing it because I Becca once made a bowl of
like oh like a party size of egg salad I I ate the whole thing. She goes just so you know, there's like ten eggs in there
You're trying to take back salad fruit salad, I like a cob
Comp-salad? Comp-salad. It's okay. Something with a
It's okay. Something has like a like a bacon crumble in it
No, because most of that is bacon bits bits which is not even real bacon. What? Bacon bits. What is it? It's like bacon dust. No, no, no. Real bacon bits are real bacon,
but like you go to the store you get like fucking like bacon bits it's like fake not bacon. Oh,
I don't make a Cobb salad. Okay, I hope wherever you're getting it from. I don't know. I don't
want bacon on my salad because if I'm getting a salad,
it's because I'm trying to make
a responsible, healthy decision.
Oh, no, I just want something like cold
before I eat a hot.
You know what I'm saying?
I kind of do, yeah.
That's why it's like getting a cold salad
like at a steakhouse is like,
I know I'm about to eat some hot steak meat.
Get me cold first.
Listen, so Becca and I recently discovered and went to a fucking Turkish restaurant
It would fuck your ass like it was
It was the food was unbelievable. I can't speak highly like a higher about it. Mm-hmm
They came out with a salad. I'm not a big fruit in my salad type of guy
Like neither I'm getting the salad. I want greens and and vegetables
I don't want fruit. You could pull like a little slice of like a mango in there, but it's pretty much shit this
First of all arugula, which is top top three underrated lettuce, baby arugula top three greens
For me personally. Yeah, no, I like it and then it like kale. I don't like kale. It's so okay though
Yeah, but it was baby arugula, Uh huh. Whole stalks of cilantro.
Stalks?
Stalks of it.
Jesus.
Like just like literally someone took it and just went and threw it in.
Okay.
Lemon, oil, vinegar.
Yeah.
You don't, I don't know if you, you ever had like Cassetti cheese?
It's like a Greek cheese.
It's like soft but kind of sharp.
Probably.
It's like, it's like Probalone almost. Okay.
Um, that walnuts, not a big nuts in my salad guy.
Right.
Yeah.
Pomegranate and orange, dude.
Pomegranate fruit.
Yeah.
Slices.
Yep.
Slices or the seeds.
Yeah.
There you go.
And then like, it's about to destroy you for not first Paul Newman, not pomegranates.
And then, uh, slices you for not first Paul Newman up pomegranates and then
slices of oranges dude
Unbelievable, but number one for me is gotta be Greek salad to cease Caesar
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Caesar's up there for sure, but I do like it Greek salad Dude, oh like a big block of fucking stupid feather in there. They got a chop up and mix around
You know, it's crazy. You've never had good Feta I went to Greece and had fair
I've been to bed. Okay, so now you know everything right? Yeah, yeah
I've had some real like cream cuz like the Feta you get that's dog shit. It's like a block of rubber
No, no, I get the crumbles. No. Yeah, you want Feta that's like creamy. When you put it in your mouth, it melts.
Dude, I was on the podcast, Are You Garbage?
And they-
Free plug, go ahead.
We were talking about it.
And I was like, cause I buy a thing like this
and it comes in like a little thing with a flap.
I know what you're talking about.
You don't want that.
Of course he was gonna say that.
I could have said literally anything.
I buy a goat and I make it.
He's like, you don't want that goat. But- I got the guy but I got the guy for their crumbles. Yeah, he's got a guy
I got a guy. He's got a crab guy. He's got a no. It's crazy. I got a Greek cheese guy
I do I actually do I found one in fucking Jersey
But the crumbles I used to throw him in like zins in the morning like hell
Yeah, just put it in my lip and just walk around you know what I would have for breakfast sometimes
You're gonna call me a little crazy for this you ready?
Peter bread toast it up a little bit. Oh
Thin layer of hummus or tzatziki. I'm in all right like whatever it is. I know where you're gonna be out
Crumble feta on top. I'm getting fucking horny word and then I know you're gonna be out here, but I did this
Greek olives kalamata olives. I know you're not a big olive guy. Don't love I call it a Greek pizza
Unbelievable for breakfast, dude
None of that is a breakfast food
Who's eating olives at fucking 8 a.m. Yeah, I know that I
Am yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. Oh, there's a great don't ask me why they're good for you, but they are yeah
Maybe I don't really know I don't know something about olives. I don't really but olive oil love that stuff. That's good stuff, babe
Yeah, you everyone needs a good batch of olive oil. You know I'm saying yeah
Not like this like store-bought nonsense like you need some like high quality like from the fucking from the orchards from the trees
You ever seen how they make them dude? I went to when I was in fucking oh yeah he went to Greece so he knows everything
no oil and Feta now actually I'm well traveled this is in Portugal but we were
in Dural Valley they'd make all the wineries make wine and olive oil so they
have olive trees oh they like sell it and it's yeah this was me slamming a
bottle on the table of They fucking sell it.
They sell it.
You see they like turn the thing and it like presses it and it just oil, oil.
Did I tell you when I was out there one of the wineries on their list said they have like a wine that was only stopped by women.
Did you know that?
And you didn't buy that one just because you didn't want to support them.
Well, we did like a tasting thing.
You hear that?
Oh, you tasted it just to give them a little.
No, no, we did a tasting.
So we like, that wasn't part of our thing that we.
What if, hear me out.
Yeah.
Okay.
You've got a great rating on your like,
find my foot pic or whatever it is.com.
Whatever it is.
Yeah.
Fuck my feet.
I don't know what it is feet feet my bat feet my balls
Yeah
What if?
Secret handshake food Co great. I already know you're gonna say
Let me say it got it, and then you can respond. That's how podcasts were right, okay
secret handshake food Co
You guys are looking to branch out outside of maybe more, you know, more hot sauces, more other stuff.
You make wine or olive oil and they're mashed with your dirty stinky piggies.
My feet?
Your fucking little piggies.
Yeah.
And they stink.
What stinks?
Your feet.
No they don't!
I'm just saying.
Like, people would love your fucking-
You know what wine that smells like foot?
Some people would, I guess. You know what wine that smells like foot?
Some people would I guess. Some people do Joey!
There is a certain like funk that people like in food.
Funk has like a ca- it has like a place in like high-end food.
Well cheese, although we're talking about funk here.
We're talking about dirty fucking fart- farty cheese.
Yeah.
That wine, remember that wine you tasted? The guy was like, it's a little farty.
Yeah, the woman was like, you try it, guy was like, it's a little farty. Yeah, the woman was like, you try it, you smell it,
it's a little farty.
And I was like, are you saying a word that I don't know?
It was like pH, farty?
People like tea.
Fungus, think about like different types of like,
what's the fungus that you like?
The truffle, people like it, it'll be a little smelly.
Yeah, but those don't smell like feet.
But they smell funky, that's the point. People like the funk. Yeah. So just make a foot wine by Joe. Yeah. No. I'm not
gonna do that. Okay. But anyway, I just thought it was interesting they were like only women.
So then dudes are like, here, give me that. Dudes crushing my butt. It exposes the freaks
out there. Dude, that's it sounded so cool too, because the woman who was giving us our tour,
they showed us this like big concrete thing,
and she's like, we fill all that with,
and they were filling it at the time,
but like they fill it with all these grapes,
and she's like, and then at night,
for like two hours they have to do this.
Like it's like a party, like they just drink wine
and they're stomping the grapes, I'm like, that sounds fire.
Do you know how bad I want to walk on?
Like I want to stop.
I want to walk on grapes.
You know what I want to go in?
Where?
Where the fucking cranberries are.
Where you wear like overalls and you what?
No.
Why?
No, you don't.
First of all, like I've driven through the cranberry fields in Jersey.
How did you do that?
Cause they're-
I'm talking about where it's like water.
Yeah, brother.
Let me, let me talk and then you'll get all the information you need
You haven't heard of the spiders
What? Oh, yeah, what spiders the spiders, dude?
So those cranberry fields what they do for those of you guys that don't know cranberry cranberry juice cranberry vodka cranberry
Cranberries cranberry vodka is a cocktail. I know you know what i'm talking about
The way that they
harvest them is they fill them up with water and the cranberries that are ready break off and float
to the top but the spiders that run through the cranberry field float on top of them. So as you're
wading through cranberries and gathering all the cranberries you're getting crawled on by I think they're called wolf spiders or something like that listen
hear me out hold on spiders are in and of them I'm not afraid of spiders don't
want to fuck with them though no if you give them the name of a notoriously pack
animal that people also fear yeah double scary any sort of animal that has
another animals name in its animal name I I don't fuck with. Horseflies? No. Wild. Wild. Wolf spiders? Wild.
Look them up. Look up cranberry field spider.
And you will see... I'm gonna throw my computer.
I... Yo...
Ugh! Yeah, yeah. I was having a good day!
So imagine you're wading through a field of like, crimson.
And it looks beautiful.
And then there's 20 of these fucking spiders
crawling all over your balls dude, I'm telling you.
Pull it up.
You think I'm fucking lying here?
Ew!
Yeah babe.
Disgusting shit.
Let's just stomp grapes.
Yeah let's do that.
Let's go stomp.
I don't wanna fall like remember that woman
Those like one of the first viral videos I remember downloading that on lime wire
I remember that as well. Yeah, and that just goes to show you kids if you're gonna cheat
That's what happens you fall down your and you lose your air. I
Don't know I
Have no idea what's going on.
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Okay.
Now you can go. What are you even saying right now?
Get out of there.
I don't remember ET.
I remember ET.
Reese's Pieces.
Yeah.
You remember that?
Well listen, Reese's Pieces over at thebasementyard.com.
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Dot-com all right don't don't you love hearing yourself talk?
First of all don't don't you fucking, okay? Don't you even dare.
Yeah.
You sick bastard.
Speaking of sick bastards...
Who? Who's sick?
I don't know if this is a sick bastard thing.
Bro, Kate Middleton's missing.
Where the hell is this woman?
Where is this white bitch?
What's her title?
I don't know. She's like the...
She's not the queen. She's a princess. She's the Duke I
Don't think that she's the Duke baby the Duke of Ellington. Nope. That's Duke Ellington. Okay, you're thinking
He's thinking of Duke Ellington, which is a completely different thing jazz guy. Yeah, jazz guy. Okay. Oh Duchess
Which is probably the opposite of Duke. I think so, but what does it mean?
Duchess
Yeah, just repeating the word doesn't make it she definitely she is the Duchess of whatever she is. She's missing Millboro
It that sounds like it's over there sounds like a white trash town in the middle of the country
So I mean it probably is yeah
But yeah,
Kate Milton, here's the thing. Heard that she was missing and I was like, who knows?
Who knows? Really? You know, several kids, maybe some privacy at home. I heard that she
was in the hospital for something. Oh shit. What happened? I don't know. I think that,
I mean, I think that's like documented. She was like in the hospital for you. Okay. I
mean, is she okay? Yeah. Uh, but she was in the hospital for something okay I mean she okay yeah but she was in the hospital
for something and then no one has seen her and then they put out this fucking
picture that was weird as fuck because it was like her and her kids and she's
like we're a happy family all of the kids have their fingers crossed in the
photo what yeah it's be doing weird shit like that though all of them kids are
weird no and also one of them had them twisted the fuck up. I saw one that was like the wrist was like yeah
It was clearly photo photo and she someone tweeted from like her account or like release a statement for her saying like I'm so
I'm not gonna. I'm just not gonna do the don't I'm saying like I'm sorry. I am an I'm an amateur photo editor
And I messed it up. Oh
My god, dude with this one. Do you think we're fucking stupid listen? It's the age of like conspiracies
You think that some Dutch that would she Dutchess Dutchess of she's going on her laptop
Downloaded Photoshop be like let me make this pretty that ain't happening
isn't it like well documented that like the like the the the the
Crown and the the royal princes. There's a lot of missus the castle
Yeah, they called as a house how the royal family the royal family. That's right. I couldn't figure that out
They are like shady. Yeah, so like no one knows who goes on in those castle walls. What the hell I
Thought you were I thought you were referencing this on castle walls by sticks, but never mind. All right
No most obscure
I know one stick song. That's it. It's a good renegade. It's a really good song. I believe it's on the same album, but
I just did this woman like where she's I she's not here hear me out
Remember years ago there was the movement to storm area 51
You remember that right? I do you guys might have forgotten about it. The government's like we are going to snipe you and they're like we got it
Go
going to snipe you. And they're like, we gotta go!
Can't get all of us!
Dude!
Guys literally said they can't get all of us.
If someone told me, if you come here, I'm gonna snipe you,
I'm gonna go anywhere else.
But also, the idea of like, they can't get all of us,
yes they can.
Yes they can, dude.
Let me tell you, what they literally are planning to do,
get all of us, every single one of us.
They can get all of us.
They can get every one of us.
And not even be there.
Like machines will get you.
Yeah, exactly.
Like give me a break.
But take that idea.
Storming area 51.
And go to the castle.
Oh.
Because hear me out.
I'm talking about revolution now.
Hear me out. I know, we've done it before yeah, okay
Well, we have I'm they could do it over there over here. We're just gonna watch you know popcorn
Yeah, yeah be fat slobs die slowly because our food is poisoned
extra butter pop extra
extra cholesterol yeah
Because they you ever seen the the Royal Guards
When they're walking around with guns from 1909!
Yeah, what is that thing? You gonna get me with that?
You think you can stab me with a bayonet?
Who are you? Where are you hiding?
You big furry headed bastards.
Get the fuck outta here!
You think I'm gonna... are you kidding me?
You literally... you ever play video games?
Yes you have.
We played together a whole lot.
Their hitbox is so big.
That big ass furry hat. You hit that that you're knocking them down at least yeah, dude
We and also these are the guards a couple of nutcrackers, dude
Yeah, this is Christmas time just a fucking mowing them down. We'll find out
Where Kate is I'm going we we gotta get her. We gotta.
Operation Save Kate.
Ap, op, did I say operation?
Operation.
Did I say, what did I say?
I don't know.
I don't know either.
Operation Save Kate.
Yeah.
Listen, Kate, I'm talking directly to you now.
If you can hear me from your cell.
I don't know, I don't know where she is.
I think that she's hurt.
I hope she's not.
I hope she's okay.
Cause this is in the Haas.
We're abbreviating hospital now, huh?
Kate Middleton timeline.
There we go.
We're gonna solve it.
As you're pulling that up.
We're gonna crack the case.
As you're pulling that up, let me do this.
All right, you ready?
Listen, it's been busy over here.
We paid a lot of attention to these brands that are really fighting for us. Are you just follow listen bread crumbs, babe
I'm leaving them here right here like good bread. She's the princess of what?
We said she's not a princess yet. Yeah
She is listen as pop tarts and Taco bell and like all those brands are battling over us
help
Will like send us some money and we'll help you
Just a thought, you know, just an idea. That was the whole thing
She was admitted to the hospital and underwent a planned abdominal surgery
Okay
A statement says she was expected to remain in the hospital
for between 10 to 14 days
and would take an absence from her public role,
expected to last until after Easter.
Here's the thing.
Bro, not even 10 to 12 days, what the fuck?
No matter what the conspiracy is,
we're not, no matter,
this woman could come out tomorrow, literally,
and like shake hands in the middle of Piccadilly Circus, and people would just be like,
that's a robot.
They've made up their minds about the conspiracy.
Yeah, they're working on the mask right now,
like a realistic looking mask.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
This is wild.
Yeah, I don't know, but this photo is so fucking weird, bro.
Like all the kids have their shit crossed like look at this kid's hands. Let me see
What is that?
Why I'm gonna defend the kids here kids be doing weird stuff with their hands all the time, but she's
Hiding across you see that hiding across see she's like she's like, oh don't see that? Hiding a cross?
See, she's like, oh don't look at it, but I'm doing it too.
I'm not, I'm not, it's the wrist.
The wrist is the one.
Look at that wrist.
Yeah, yeah, the left wrist.
The wrist is all fucked.
This is all fucked too.
That left wrist, that's the one.
But then this fucker's doing it too.
Look.
Wait, that doesn't look like him.
No, no, no.
These fingers are crossed.
Yeah, that's a stretch there for crossed fingers, Joey.
Fine, but we got two crosses, and I saw another one that this face that she has in this picture is an old face.
That's the one I saw too, is that like it's a-
It's an old picture.
It's like from an old photo shoot. Listen, we are keeping our ear to the ground now.
Where's the goddamn fucking princess, dude? We are so at the forefront of breaking...
Like, open, breaking wide open news.
Yeah.
That now, that the basement yard knows about this,
can't hide.
Gee, can't.
We're on the case.
It's a big castle.
It has like 400 rooms or some nonsense.
I got time.
Do you?
You go 400 rooms? You got time for 400 rooms or some nonsense. I got time. Do you go 400 rooms?
You got time for 400 rooms. You think they have a lot of like laser
You know like in movies were like there's lasers and you got to like dance in order to get I don't know
I don't know because here's the thing with old buildings like that
They don't want to put that stuff in there because it'll like
You know, they've got they they're like happy with like the way it was like these are the original flows from when King Henry
Shot his fucking wank all over
Yeah, the princess of dottingham, you know like that's they care more about that than they do about lasers
Oh my god, I wish I can know more about them
Like I want to know cuz they cuz I know the Queen for what you wish for bro Queen
We used to be like like I've like heard this before that she has these uh
Hand gestures that like mean shit and so like her got her what a wild concept you mean sign language you idiot
No, you yeah, she's fucking deaf
No, Joey, but you're saying like she has like hand gestures that like mean things
No, no like yeah, you ever watch one fucking baseball game?
They do too, it's not that hard of a concept.
Heater.
No, I was saying, but she'll be in a conversation
and she'll just do something very slight
with her hand or her fingers or whatever,
and then the fucking guys will know,
okay, come with me, and bring her somewhere.
It's kind of wild.
She's got a playbook, she's got a playbook.
She's gone. Yeah, she had a playbook she's got a playbook. She's gone.
Yeah, she had a playbook.
She had a playbook.
She had a playbook.
Well, I imagine if you're the most important person to them,
like...
By the way, I don't want to jump too far off,
but I swear to God this happened,
I'm not making this up.
The other day, yesterday, I was in the car,
and I'm parked and I look to my left,
and there's a car that just pulls up. The queen.
No, and there's two people and they're having a sign language fight. I thought it was a fight
or maybe they were just really excited but the hands were flying and I was like I've never seen
this before in my life really. Like How often do you see people doing sign language
to each other?
Very rarely, if ever.
That's what I'm saying.
So I looked and I'm like, oh my God,
they're just signing the shit out of stuff.
Well, I don't know what I just said.
Now you've got a couple people,
the royal family's mad at us,
probably a couple different gangs after what you just did.
No, I was mixing it up.
But I think that's super cool.
You know what I love?
I love when people who have...
What a fucking ally you are, Joey.
Way to go.
I was going to get to my point.
All right, go ahead.
I was gonna say I love when people who like,
have people in their life that are like,
deaf and they do sign language,
and then they learn it,
even though they don't need to learn it.
I'm kinda jealous.
You can take American Sign Language classes?
I mean, it's, it's, uh, you took like a 12-year-old psychology class from Yale Online.
I'm sure if you want to do something beneficial with your time, you can take a sign language class.
I feel like, you think that's harder than speaking a lang- like, you know what I mean? Is that like-
I don't know. That's a really great question because-
How would you know what I mean? Is that like? I don't know. That's a really great question because. How would you know all the things?
I mean, I think there's like, it's like court stenographers.
There's like a place to start.
And then like there are general branches that you can go
to get the point across.
Like it's not a one-to-one translation with most words.
Yeah.
You know, so I don't know, try it out.
You never know.
You might find out that you're just like a,
that would make our show even more accessible to the general public
Mmm, is if we had a little bubble right here of us just signing what we're saying
This means bullshit. I
Think honestly I might be wrong now
Or poop maybe that maybe that's poop
Which is the butt in that case? I think this is the poop and this is the butthole. Oh and it comes out of the poop comes out of the book
I think actually yeah, I think you're right. I think you pull this down instead of pulling this up. Oh, I'm not sure
Whatever, but I think it is poop. All right. We're on we're on Princess watch. Yeah, we're on Princess watch
We're gonna figure this thing out and we're gonna we're gonna figure it out. No big deal
also, I wanted to talk about this too. I
I
Got a new bed recently. Yeah, and they have to call to like schedule the delivery. I ordered this shit months ago. Mm-hmm and
And I missed the call for them when they were calling to like, oh we got to schedule the delivery or whatever
So the guy leaves me a voicemail. Okay with like a
He's talking like a fucking i'm waiting for this incredibly interesting story to have some
How about I throw a grenade at you?
How about that honestly i'd catch it throw it right back at you and then we're both in trouble
No, because I would throw it back at you after that. We're in such a small room that both of us are in big old fat trouble
Do you think if a grenade blew up in the corner of that room and we were in the corner of
this room huddled up that we would be fine?
No.
I think we'd be fine.
I mean, fine, we'd get hurt in some capacity.
Of course we'd be hurt.
Because it's shrapnel, brother.
Yeah, we would have stuff in our backs that would hurt.
Oh, just the back, nothing you need it for.
Yeah, but like, cover, we'll cover up.
I think I'll bear with what with what?
What if I was wearing a sweater?
That's kind of far now. You know what you're right because when they created
Grenades they didn't even take into account that people might be wearing clothing great way to go Joey
Yeah, I don't know the blast radius of a grenade if you put it in that corner
Which is from me probably like 10 to 12 feet away, bro. You're in trouble. What's the blast radius of?
Grenade probably 25 feet
More
So for those you guys that have not been following we have been wildly off with our estimations lately
So the first one was how long until whales need to come up for, or whales or whales need
to come up for air.
We said it was like two days.
Turns out it's two hours.
Then it was how much meat do polar bears eat?
We said 600 pounds.
It turns out it's like six.
Now Joey, what is the blast radius of a grenade?
What did you say?
I said 25 feet.
50 feet?
Okay.
The lethal, the killing distance of a grenade without body armor or protection, so maybe
a hoodie is a protection, a single grenade can kill an individual up to 10 meters away.
That's 30 feet.
Is it? That's, a meter away. That's 30 feet. Is it?
That's a meter is about three, three and change feet.
That's so much further than I thought.
Yeah.
What did you think?
And you know, it doesn't like explode with like a fireball.
It's shrapnel.
Yeah.
That's why they look like that.
That's why grenades had looked like that, where it looks like, you know, like the ribbed
ribs because those are the weak points and they then they shrap at the weak points I don't
even know I don't say I don't know what a grenade is is I don't know if there's
there's like pieces of shit in there I know what shrapnel is well no the the
casing itself is what breaks oh and I think there's pieces inside that also
break like little ball bearings or something
Interesting but not all grenades look like that. There's circular like black ones. You guys came here
For talk on the royal family and grenades grenades and salads boy
We have the episode for you
Grenades and salads. I one day want someone I need to throw a grenade in my life need need to throw it you know I think it was World War two they
purposefully made them look like baseballs because the average American
male was comfortable throwing a baseball smart to me very smart smart smart I
need someone while you're pulling up whatever the hell nonsense you're
pulling on now I'm just like not doing I need someone literally to make a chart a
Chart on where literally a snake chart. What are they called snake sure? That's not what they're called
I don't even know what you're referring like it's episode starts and we go topic by topic and you watch us where we go
Until the very end I need to see how that that happens. Yeah I mean it's it's bananas.
But yeah there is some explosive material in there that's for sure and these grenades. Yeah.
Wow you never really think about that you know you just throw them. Back to your
riveting conversation about your bed. Don't shit on my story before the story starts.
But anyway so I'm getting a new bed,
I got a voicemail from the guy and it's basically like, I'll call us back to whatever. This is how
he leaves the voicemail. Let me guess you fucking piece of shit, the bed doubles as a treadmill.
No, it's a bed. Okay. Water bed? Water bed? What is it? 1971? You get in a waterbed? No.
You ever been on a waterbed? I don't think so I have once water
That's what it feels like it just feels like you're laying on water not not comfortable at all
I feel like when I was younger it was like a cool not a cool
Yeah, well we were it was like a big 90s thing no but like wasn't it also like oh having sex on a waterbed was
Like so sought-after for some, that would honestly be impossible.
Not only impossible, not kind of fun, kind of not fun.
Yeah, like now I'm fighting the tide.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, I don't think that's the best for us.
That's a really good question.
Because when I'm, when you are humping.
Yeah, that's it.
That's your creating.
You really put your whole body into your hump. That's how you're humping. But when you're humping, you're humping. Yeah, that's it. You really put your whole body into your hump.
That's how you're humping?
No, but when you're humping, you're creating waves.
But when they hit the headboard, they're coming back at you.
You know what I mean?
Oh, you mean on a waterbed?
Yeah.
I thought you meant literally
like in your current sexual capacity.
No, no, I'm saying when you're on a waterbed,
like you make a wave, it has to come back.
It's like being in like a small pool. Remember the one person in the middle just jumps up and down and it just fucking
Yeah, like yeah, I don't think that would be nice
Yeah, go buy a waterbed sex in it and then tell me how it is. I'm not gonna do that. But anyway, listen to this Hey, is that your order? Hey, early as convenience, can you please give us a call
at 1-888-413-72?
I can't call an A to D for 1-387-2.
Are you fucking kidding me, bro?
Play it again, play it again.
Bro, this is your job.
Wait, so that was the guy, the delivery man,
leaving a number.
He works for fucking West Elm.
Okay, tell him where you got it from while you're at it.
What's gonna happen?
You never know.
But the guy, he works for West Elm, so I have to just call to schedule when they come to
my apartment to give me the bed.
And you're supposed to say it clearly.
And he says it twice and both of them are, even it's like one eight eight eight and he
says one eight eight eight, one eight eight eight.
And even that I'm like, what are we doing?
Well here's the thing.
Honestly, in today's society where you call from a number
and it's most likely the number
that you're leaving in a voicemail, he didn't need to.
Well, it's not.
You're the problem here.
It's not the number.
I have the number right here.
It's a 1-800 number.
Oh.
Obviously I can look at that number, you dumb ass.
Well, I got like not scolded once,
but like I was told, cause I worked in my old job.
I had to leave detailed
messages and I would always leave my voicemail number
at the end twice.
It was like my callback number twice.
And you're just saying like, again, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
But I said it very clearly, but then someone said to me,
they're like, your number comes up on the caller ID.
You don't need to do that.
I mean, this one is different.
And also it's bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Yeah, it's not, it's not bop,-up bup-up-up bup-up-up
Yeah, it's that's what it is. I'm up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up It's convenient, can you please give us a call at one eight eight for one three 72. Tiny Tim? He said, what I heard was one eight eight for three 72.
Sign it Tim.
Or seven eight two.
Sign it Tim.
Definitely didn't hear a different,
like now we're missing digits.
All right, here, the appropriate way
to leave a call back number.
Or give out your number.
Bop, bop, bop, area code first, you bop it.
Unless you're in other countries where it's like
plus one, eight, four, three, divide a voice, six.
Like when you're giving me like a fucking
like algebra algorithm and you know,
like I don't need that shit.
I don't want that.
It needs to be bop bop bop.
Yes.
Bop bop bop.
It's a double bop bop bop.
Two bops and then bop bop, bop bop.
Yeah, up and then down.
Bop bop bop bop bop, bop bop. Yeah, up and then down. Bop bop, bop bop.
Bop bop.
Bop bop.
Don't you.
This shit.
And it better be individual digits.
It better not be.
Call 888-461-8002.
Yeah, I hate that.
No!
Yeah, no.
Don't.
11800, what?
What?
What?
I hate that.
I hate that so. The fuck are you talking about? Don't do that where there's like, 11800 what what?
Don't do that where this like oh you can call me at 468 no no
Make it easy when when when you're giving a phone number you have to imagine the person on the other on the receiving end is the dumbest person on 438
119 what ha it's so it's so bad dude. you got a pop up up to two pop up ups up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up But like I had to call. Is it a nice bed? I haven't gotten, I don't have the bed.
Well you said we got the bed.
Oh, like I talked to the guy, I'm like, you know.
I had to call West Elm and be like,
I don't know where to go.
Headboard?
Yeah.
Okay.
There are people that don't do headboards.
I'm a headboard king, I agree with headboards.
Why, what would you do?
Just have your fucking head hitting your wall
like you're in college still?
Had a headboard my whole life that ain't true at all. I've had a headboard
No, I know I we've reached the interesting part of the conversation
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Do it, do it, do it, do it.
You know what I mean?
I could do it, do it and do it, do it, do it, do it.
Remember that?
Shut up, bro.
You know what song I heard today on the way in that
I haven't legitimately heard since 2008? Remember ASAP by TI? ASAP. ASAP. ASAP. I mean, you
didn't hear it on the radio clearly. It was on your iPod. No, it was on. It was on SiriusXM.
Yeah, bro. Sirius. Absolutely free plug because they don't need our help. Yeah.
They have one fucking channel that's all just hip hop
from 2000 to 2010.
What channel? Or 2020.
It's called like Flex 2K.
Okay.
Unbelievable.
I gotta get on that.
It's so good.
Like that's where like literally one day it was like,
it was like fucking like them franchise boys.
And then right after it was like a little wet like but like not just like hits like you go on like these like deal cuts
Deep cuts they put a subs a D cut a subs a D cut they put on stunt man by them franchise boys or D4L
Sorry D4L's I got money man. I got money man. Stunt man. I was fucking damn what the fuck
I was throwing my ass back in a Kia.
In your fa-
Let me be very clear. Everyone's getting free plug, serious, Kia, it's all good.
Oh yeah, just don't mention a brand ever again. What are we fucking, Amazon bro? We'll be fine.
This company's not making money because we said their name.
You never know, Kia might be like, hey we want to sponsor you guys, here is a new car.
You already, Joey doesn't care, he's big fucking, I'm to sponsor you guys. Here is a new car. Hmm. You already eat. Joey doesn't care. He's big fucking.
I'm luxury car, Joe.
What are you doing with your arms?
What is that?
That's me.
That's me. A hundred percent.
Also, you have a brand new car.
I do, but it's a sensible car that gets 40 miles to the gallon.
And that's why I took it.
On the highway?
Hell yeah.
You know how much I averaged on the way here?
43 miles a gallon.
Ooh.
Dude.
You did the math.
No, no, no, in my car, it has a gauge
and it tells you however you're driving,
it tells you how much you average.
Oh, nice.
So from the start of my trip to the end of it.
Yeah.
43.
That's pretty good.
That's really good.
Yeah. You kidding me? What is your dumb ass car again, like four? I don, 43. That's pretty good. That's really good. Yeah, you kidding
What do you what is your dumbass car get like for I don't know it ain't for you remember in like the mid-2000s people
We're just like we're gonna have gas guzzlers that get like 13 gallons, you know miles per hummers
How dumb are hummers dumber hummer? That's why they're gone. Did these are called blowjobs hummers? What is that?
Wait, wait, wait, what Someone I when I went to high school
Someone's like oh, she gave you a hummer. I was like what are you talking about?
Hold on what who the hell was sucking dick in your school people in high school people are sucking and fucking
But they're calling them hummers well someone said that I was sexually repressed for those fucking priests in your school where oh
That's why they couldn't talk about what was actually happening. No you idiot
I'm always gonna bring up that you went to a Catholic school.
Yeah, and you're always gonna bring up that.
You were maybe fingered.
No.
Definitely fingered?
No.
Oh, okay.
Or I got a- Please.
I got an urban dictionary.
What Hummer means now.
I'm pretty sure it means like blowjob.
All right, urban.
I don't know why.
Or someone said like a gum, gummer? Gummer might make sense. Like your g sure it means like blowjob. Alright. I don't know why or someone said like a gum gummer
gummer might make sense like your gums but like because of yeah because of oh like an old woman
with no person yeah yeah yeah do you think that would be good i don't know that it would you know
old old head oh but like you know it's like, she took out her dentures. You know what I mean? And it's like, I don't know that gums feel that good,
but I don't know.
Oh shit.
What?
Hummer on urban dictionary.
The second definition is one of the least
fuel efficient vehicles on earth.
We knew that.
One, even better than a blow job.
It's when the person actually hums,
vibrates their lips while their mouth is around your cock.
Wait.
How hard can you hum?
Yeah, there you go.
Put your finger around, like put your finger in your mouth
and hum as hard as you can.
And see, like, do you think it'd be sick?
Hmm.
Hmm.
I don't think anyone wants to get blown in here, sound imagine someone just going to town on your tiny dick and they're just like
There's like just like vibrating like a phone
Yeah
You do it
Yeah, you don't want to do it. Do you?
No, I don't I don't want to pantomime
No, I'm saying a man. Yeah, you don't want to do it. Do you? No, I don't I don't want to pantomime No, I'm saying a man. Yeah, I don't know there was like a there was like a whole
Thing back in the day where it was like all this was like ice in your mouth would make a blowjob
I heard about the ice in the mouth
I heard there was always those wild like fucking pop-brop and this is before you could really validate it with the internet. So like
People would just...
Make shit up.
They would spread it like wildfire. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw...
Fuck.
Ice cubes on him like a nipple though.
Not your nipple.
I know, well, I wasn't afraid, but coming from...
You are afraid of nipples.
Coming from big nipple guy over here.
No one's big nipple guy.
You're big nipple, dude.
People, people touch nipples.
I touch nipples. Okay? Let big nipple guy. You're a big nipple dude. People touch nipples. I touch nipples.
Okay, let's be very clear. All right. Yeah, I mean. My wife and I have a great sex life. We have a
great nipple life. And nipples are a part of it. I'm not going to get too much into the woodwork
of it because that's between her and I. I agree. But nipples are included, not mine. Right.
Not mine.
My nipples are out the gate.
You have high walls.
Hell yeah.
You have a better chance.
Not a compliment.
You have a better chance of getting into area 51
than to suck my nipples.
Can't get all of us.
I just, you're a big nipple guy.
You're playing with them for pictures.
You're talking about they're sucking on your nipples
You are it is well documented on the show well documented it is absolutely well documented on the show
disagree with me no
You're so you're gonna agree with me
But that was a disagreement. I said disagree with me.
And I said no.
So you're agreeing with me.
No that's a disagreement. If you asked me to disagree with you and then I- wait.
Exactly.
Oh no if I'm saying I don't- wait hold on.
You're asking-
No I got you, listen.
Listen bitch!
The nipple talk is too much for big fucking Joey nips.
You told me disagree with me. You're a The nipple talk is too much for big fucking Joey nips. You told me disagree with me, right?
You're a big nipple guy.
And you said, and I said disagree with me.
And you said, no, you won't disagree with me.
My turn.
You said disagree with me.
And I said, no.
Which means what?
Which means what?
Which means you're not going to disagree with me.
And I was saying you're big nipple guy.
So you won't refute what I'm saying.
And you will admit that you're a big nipple guy.
Yes, but then that also yeah
But that he said yes, but that means that we disagreed. No. Yes. No you asked me to disagree
I said i'm not going to know the no is a confirmation of of not disagreeing
So you are confirming you are in agreement with my ability to ask you to disagree
I was saying you're a big nipple guy. I'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna lay it out on the table for you I said you're a big nipple guy. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to lay it out on the table for you. I said you're a big nipple guy. And then you
were saying no. And I said, yes, you are disagree with me. But then I didn't disagree with you.
And then you said no, meaning no, I'm not going to disagree with you. Right. So that's
a disagreement. But that, but that's a, that, but that is an agreement with the original agreement. They're two negatives, they cancel each other out.
I disagree.
No, don't.
Who's on first?
You were disagreeing when I asked you to disagree,
which means you were in agreement
with the original statement,
which means you are affirming and confirming that
you are big nipple Joe Joey nips Joey areolas pointy Joey are you know
pointy Joe pointy nipple Joe bumpy boy Joe you can stop also before we get out of here, can you bring up the entrepreneur guy?
No.
Okay.
Thank you.
No, I saw something that was just like,
because we often laugh about these
like fucking TikTok entrepreneurs
or like Twitter guys that are just like reinventing the wheel
that are just saying like, I figured it out.
If you're not working three eight hour shifts a day, you are losing. And it's like, that's just like reinventing the wheel that are just saying like I figured it out If you're not working three eight-hour shifts a day you are losing and it's like that's just the day
There's even worse shit that I've been saying there are like you found ones that were just like it's like yo when you read
What are you doing? What are you reading? People like words and he's like words, right? So words are a
symbol of translation so if you try to understand and I'm like
No, the best will be like,
if you have trouble reading quickly,
you can read 10 times more and be more efficient
and make $30 more per day.
But look at the words and break them down per letter.
And if you look at it like that,
you are fundamentally breaking down
the way that this is constructed
and you are finding yourself more efficient.
It's like, dude, just eat a pizza.
Like, shut up.
There's some Twitter fucking entrepreneur
who claims to have invented something called bottle night.
And he's like, have you ever heard of bottle night?
Bet you haven't, my girlfriend and I made it up.
We take a night where we drink wine
and we don't be on our phones and we talk.
That's called being in a relationship.
It's like how low is the bar for men
that we have to just pretend we've invented speaking to our partners.
Bet you never thought of this.
Have a glass of wine and talk to your wife.
Hey men, I have a great life hack for you.
Talk to that bitch.
And see what happens. You will be more efficient
and women will want to be in your fucking ass. Dude, it's like, what are we talking about? How
stupid, how dumb. Did you say it was like during the pandemic? No, I think he said it was during
a blizzard last year. Oh, okay. Last year. Last, it was like during a blizzard in Buffalo last year.
Last it was like during a blizzard in Buffalo last year. We invented this thing where we talk
How miserable I?
Am an inventor okay? I was snowed in and I'm like I'm not going to let this time go to waste
I'm gonna come up with a thing that the world hasn't seen and then it hit me
Men I'm gonna talk to her.
You know how stupid men are.
Men, if men believe they figured out like-
Anything at this point.
Anything, they'll run with it.
If it ain't software, it's been done.
I can't, I wish I was this man's girlfriend.
I don't, what a wild thing to say, but like-
I wish.
man's girlfriend. I don't. What a wild thing to say. But like,
I just like, imagine he's just like, honey, I figured it out.
Here's what we have nothing else we can do. I'm going to talk to you. Yeah. And you're going to talk to me. Yes. And I think
if we do it correctly, we'll be better off. It will be connected
How insanely dumb are men are well just shit she might idiots
But also she might be an equally fucking stupid person to go oh
No, that sounds amazing here would be here's what probably happened realistically she wanted to fucking stroke his ego
So he showed She just went like
Honey
You figured it out. That's amazing. We're back to my cousin Vinny where he's like, oh my god, honey
You cracked the case it's dog shit. Yeah. No, I mean there's I mean who knows
It's just how like people are so dumb
It is so insane that like the bar for men is so low that women just need to be like you figured out
I feel like you're throwing man. Like I do agree with you. But also I think there's another person a part of this here
She's kind of dumb. She's she's done by association. She's done by association. She's just like
Yeah
No, but here's where I'll give her the out. I'll give her an out and she gets a defense
Show us the text thread the night that your boyfriend came up with that with your girlfriends because if she was being like
He is so smart. Then she's just dumb if she's like idiot, like that's where the truth will be in the text thread with
her girlies.
Hey man, you're not allowed to say girlies.
That's just, that's just the rules.
Show us the receipts!
We want to know.
Give us Kate Middleton.
We want to know where she is.
We want to know where she is.
Let's not forget that she is.
The princess of Duchess.
What is it? The Princess of where?
The Princess of the Wales. Of Orcas.
The gay Wales that we spoke about last week.
Those are humpbacks.
The Princess of Humps.
The Princess of Wales.
I'm pretty sure the Princess of Humps is Fergie.
That's Fergie.
Um, but doesn't it sound like the Princess of Wales has something to do with Aquaman?
It's like, that's the sequel to the Moana movie.
Moana 2, the Princess of Wales.
Where is she? We gotta go get her.
I had never seen Moana, I heard it was great.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah.
Oh well, I'm not kidding.
I am impressed sometimes at the absolute shallow depth of your knowledge sometimes. You could know about like 20 million dollar watches, but you've never seen an already iconic piece of Disney animation.
Listen, bitch, it's a one, let's get this out of the way, child's movie.
Like fuck you don't be one of those elitist pricks an animated movie
I'm not I saw Luca. It's not I saw Luca. It's the same shit
I've seen fucking not inherently and it's not inherently a child's movie
It is for everyone got thought it is for everyone and that's a good one, too
Incredible it is for everyone and it is not just for children. I know that but you're making it seem like it's crazy
I also haven't seen Barbie and Oppenheimer, but that's the type of that's the type of mentality that you old white bastards
Oh do I are doing that that limits and puts a glass ceiling on the performance and the popularity of animated movies
They're not they're not children's movies
They can be geared toward children
But if you fucking take off your stupid-ass glasses and you look at them do the lens of some like an adult
with experiences you'll see there's something for you there too you bastard
sign off at F Alvarez 885 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez all foreign souls media
get out of here can I say something no about you no you suck okay you suck all
right okay that whole thing so I'll take that today, I'll take it.
Honestly, I'll let it.
I feel like I haven't seen every fucking Pixar movie
there ever is.
Have you?
Relax.
Have you?
Clearly not.
Wait, is that Pixar?
You so stupid.
You are so stupid.
It's not Pixar?
It's not Pixar.
What is that?
Moana is just Disney animation.
I love all that.
Get him out.
You guys can go follow me at JoeSanagato
on all platforms. Go follow the show at the basement yard on
Tick tock and Instagram and also go to the basement yard comm
I know we keep fucking saying this and I'm just as annoyed as you but we're trying to figure out one these guys
Throwing these dates are coming. Jesus Christ the dates for the tour are coming, but they are coming
Don't worry about it sometime in April will be on the road
See you guys out there. Who knows? But anyway,
see you guys next time. Bye.