The Basement Yard - #448 - The World Is JoJo Siwa's

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

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Welcome back to the base Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. How's it going buddy? We're wearing the same outfit. We are we're looking like twinsies today I gotta pop it out pop that little fucking little whore out. Oh, I see random me I'll see comments on tic-tac knot in yours a knot. I think there's a knot in yours. Maybe Damn this guy get the knot out bro. What's wrong with you? yours maybe damn this guy get the knot out bro what's wrong with you dude chill fuck you now fix it I'm going back now buy us more jewelry fuck you buy our rings pinky rings okay no why not because we're not Colombian drug dealers that's why that seems racist feels it doesn't know I just whenever a picture

like rings I like pinky rings I'm like alright someone's like either a pimp or like they're dealing drugs I was recently eating a sandwich and I noticed like my you've said this and my pinkies were out like this and I was Like this would be a perfect Like moment to have just fat fucking pinky rings double Well double ring. I don't know about double. Double would be a little too much, but like I need at least one on this hand. Cause I got the wedding band.

I need one over here. Is it gonna be iced? It has to be right? I would think so. You have, and like if it's a ring. Danny's got a pinky ring. I just noticed that. Does he?

I went to dinner the other day and I was like is that a fucking pinky ring? I can't have it. Why? Because I'm not Danny. What do you think and I was like, is that a fucking pinky ring? I can't have it. Why? Because I'm not Danny. What do you think? He's the only person who has a pinky ring? No, it's funny.

I was scrolling something, I think TikTok the other day and there was like a compilation of like basement yard stuff and there was a comment on it and it was like, what was Frank before the basement yard? And then. What was he? The comment was he the comment was Danny he was Danny Yeah, but I think just one just like just stupid fat ring Yeah, like I never got like a high school graduation ring. I never biggest

Scam is it bro paying money for any sort of graduation ring? I have to admit, I always wanted one. Bro, paying- I wanted people to know- For what? That I graduated high school. You know? But also you get them in like middle school.

They did have them in middle school too. I didn't get them. Bro, I- you know I had a- my dad had got me a ring from Columbia when I was a kid. When we were like- Let me guess. Fourth grade. It was gold. White gold from Columbia when I was a kid. When we were in like fourth grade. Let me guess, it was steel. It was gold. White gold? No, it was gold gold.

Oh, I was gonna say. But I lost it during a game of, I think, kickball. A ring? Yeah. You kick with your feet. I know. How'd you lose it? I think like going to catch,

and it went like that and it came off my finger or something. But since then, you know, since then the only ring I've had is my wedding ring, which obviously I love, and it just feels like this is, He's lonely. He's lonely, he's a lonely boy. And he's friends. Exactly. Right.

Why don't you wear a pointer finger ring or something? Pointer finger ring, I don't know. I feel like a pinky ring would just kinda like, you know, like when I put my hand down, people would be like, you'll hear it. You just want to hear some clanging metal. I want a clinking clang. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You would love that, wouldn't you? Or like, you'd probably be thinking about something on like a metal set, like, bink, bink, bink, bink. Yeah, just like, oh, what was I thinking about? It's like, or you do a lot of this, now you're like, oh, what was I thinking about? It's like, or you do a lot of this, now you're like, oh, you know. Can I ask you a serious question? Yes.

When you're on a long drive in the car, what do you do with your arms and your hands? Drive the vehicle. But you don't drive like fucking, No, I don't. like this the whole time. Like, do you do this? Do you do this? You like do you do this? Do you do this? I you know what I do sometimes you do this I put this yeah, I'm driving a fucking semi

No, bro With this like sometimes I'll drive hold the I sometimes I do hold the drive sometimes I put my hand back here like this I Swear to God behind your head like your son baby. Yeah, Sometimes I put my hand back here like this. I swear to God. You put your hand behind your head like you're sunbathing? Yeah, sometimes I put it, so like, you know how, you're gonna think I'm an absolute psycho. You put it behind the headrest? So you know how like the chair is behind, you know,

the seat's behind here and then there's like where your belt comes from. And then there's like, it's like a, it like comes out like that a little bit. I put my arm behind that and I stretch a little bit just to get a good stretch. I swear to God. But I noticed the other day I was driving and normally when I come on long drives to and from here, the studio, I have a cup in my hand, my spittoon, my sunflower seed cup.

Okay. But the other day I was driving and I was driving. Okay. And I was just like this the whole time. Pfft. And I realized, I was like, wait, what am I doing? You were driving like this? Yeah.

Who are you? I don't know. And what are you? I don't know, but I'm asking, do you do anything weird when you drive your car? Nothing like too strange, like sometimes I'll like have my hand on the gear shift and I'll just like click the button.

Oh, that's a little... Don't... Oh shit. That's not what I'm doing. That's a little dirty dude. Sometimes I'll just like click the button. One hand on that steering wheel, other hand on the... Pussy.

Yeah. Whatever he says, he says he's pussy? I mean, you said it, not me. the... Pussy. Yeah. Whatever he says. He says he's pussy? I mean, you said it. I don't mean... I think he says pussy. Who is he? Two chains?

That is two chains, yeah. Titty boy. Double-chained titty boy, yeah. That's right. But yeah, I don't do anything like crazy. I don't like reach back. I'm not stretching. Bouncing a basketball.

When you drive, you keep a hand on like this? Or do you like, honestly, I two-finger it around four o'clock. I do that. I two-finger it right it around four o'clock. I do that. I two figure it right here around four o'clock. I even do this sometimes. I swear to God. You drive like this? Yeah.

Sometimes. You don't drive like this. Sometimes, Joey. I mean, I'm telling you what I do sometimes. Okay. Do you ever grab the steering wheel with both hands? Sometimes I do that. I'm like, this is so stupid.

I do. Sometimes when I'm really like, I'm feeling playful when I'm driving I just drive holding the like horn You hold it like this Yeah, you're gonna get into an accident aren't you a big fiery one you dumbass hold the steering wheel Don't drive like this Not like what I'm like turning and shit, but like just like on the highway when you're going 80

Let me explain something my car has smart cruise control where basically all I needed it has lane assist I just need to put my hand on the steering lane assist doesn't mean it drives the car. It means it goes It keeps you in the lanes. It keeps you from going out of the lane. Don't trust it. I do trust it idiot from going out of the lane. Don't trust it. I do trust it. Idiot. No, it's not stupid. Yes it is.

No it's not. Bro, okay, let your steamboat go all the way home. No, no, no, no, no, I keep a hand on it. I don't let it go. Yeah, like this. Sometimes I put my knee on it. I knee it, I knee it. I will do that, I will knee.

I remember my dad doing that growing up and I was just like, I wanna do that one day. And I did. Was it everything you hoped it would be? It was everything. I do that too, I keep my knee Was it everything you hoped? It was everything. It would be. I do that too. I keep my knee on it just to keep it secure and stop. You know what I'm saying?

When you're checking someone in the mirror or you're grabbing a piece of gum or something. Yeah. Yeah. But usually I, you know, do you turn sometimes? Usually I'll turn, I'll press my palm and I'll go like this. Yes, yeah, yeah. Usually. You're that excited. And I'll turn like I'll press my palm and I'll go like this. Yes, yeah, yeah.

Usually, yeah. And I love it when I stop the turn and I'm straightening out and I just let it go and it just, shh. And it comes back through my hands. I like that. I do like that. Jeeps though, you have to manually. Fuck Jeeps.

Hate that. Fuck Jeeps. I do like Jeeps. No, fuck them. Fuck these stupid cars. Okay, I don't know what you have against Jeeps, but that's weird. But sometimes though, when I turn, I do this where I reach through and I pull down like you're fucking like on a ship Yeah, sometimes I'm like, oh making a left oh

I like that sometimes, you know Like the steering wheel has that like part underneath where it's just like a little it's like a little hole it's like a little hole in the steering wheel sometimes I put underneath where it's just like a little, it's like a little. A hole. It's like a little hole in the steering wheel. Sometimes I put my whole hand through that and I, uh oh. First of all, danger. The one in my, I don't even know if my car has that now, but I have never done that.

I've done it. Where you're driving with your arm like that. Basically, yeah. It's all right. We're idiots. Listen, life is about doing things a little differently where's your left foot because sometimes I put that shit up here oh I don't do that that's dangerous you get into an

accident you're eating your knees babe eat my whole body split in half no I starting at my ass I do so when I put the cruise control on I'll just like kind of like sit I cross a little bit Like I'm like a dapper baby. Like you're what? Like I'm dapper. Like I'm sitting there like, oh, driving with my legs crossed. And then I get a little scared and then I stop.

Yeah. You know, but I also put it on like the left, you know. Yeah. The little thing. But sometimes I literally like where there's like a vent here. Yes. Foot's right up on that like crazy? Absolutely crazy. I don't do it like that's still crazy. Is it is nuts Plus I'll sit on my leg. That's also stupid

I'm gonna go for that last thing. I said me one leg to drive Well, I could do whatever I want the other one I was gonna make fun of them, but I have to admit I am impressed by people that could drive with both feet That's incorrect. What do you mean impressed? I've met people that learn to drive with gas break gas break who taught her how to drive a fucking idiot They were dumb as a person they were dumb. I started driving that way and my dad's like what are you doing? Well, yes, he I he had taken me out like twice to go driving

and I was driving with two feet because he never said anything to me. He just assumed I knew one foot. I'm like, two pedals, two feet, this is what I'm driving. Driving is one of those things that you see people do enough where you're just like, I can do this. Like it's not as hard as people think. It's just scary.

It's scary because of the highways. I'll admit that. The first time I was asked to go on a highway by my driving instructor, I like pretended to not hear. So you just got out of it? So I just didn't go on the highway. It was by where the Boulevard building is in Astoria or I guess Jackson Heights.

Yeah. And it was like, you go that way to go toward that like roundabout that brings you back to Ditmars. Yeah. Or, and then- That's like Northern and then like Grand Central. Yes, back to Ditmar's. Yeah. Or and then. That's like northern and then the Grand Central. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And he was like, all right, just get on here.

I was like, what? And I just kept driving. He was like, oh, I want, all right, nevermind. I was like, oh, I fucking forgot. What? I'm so sorry. Why my ear? Stupid.

That's funny. The first time I, my dad was like, all right, get on the highway, was one of the first times I was driving. He was just trying to get me to be like, don't be scared, we're gonna do everything. Yeah, throw you in the pool, figure out how to swim. I literally was like, don't wanna drive on this specific road, but it's the one at the top that separates the avenues.

You know what I'm talking about? It's a road, like at the top of my boat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like, it's a skinnier road, so that scares me, because I don't wanna hit the cars on either side. Yeah, I understand. Immediately made me drive there.

Yeah. And I got through fine. But then when I got on the highway, I was so like, yeah. Looking all the way back and not paying attention, I drove right onto the grass on like where he- Like the side, like the shoulder. And also we just started passing. And he didn't say anything.

He's looking at me like this, and we're just bouncing around dude, it was mad funny. It's alright, you know. What are you gonna do? That's how you learn how to drive. That is how you learn how to drive. Anyway, um, I think we'd be remiss if we didn't talk about Jojo Siwa. Yeah. Fucking the fifth member of Kiss apparently? Shout out to Jojo Siwa, Rich's shit. Is she? When she was younger, which's shit. Is she? When she was younger, which is crazy. She was like a hyper Nickelodeon star.

She's like 19 I think or something right now. No, is she? Bro, she's young as fucking sheesh. Go Bobs. How old the hell are we? Jojo Siwa age. Weird thing to be type 20. Wow.

She's 20 years old. Loaded, absolutely loaded. She started on that show Dance Moms, right? Yeah, something like that. Net Worth, let's see what, 20 macaronis. That's nothing compared to big Billy boys over here. Let me tell you right now.

20 macaronis. Joey has watches that weigh more than that. Weigh? Yeah, way more than... Horrible. Sorry. Anyway, Jojo Siwa, that fucking... Yeah, what the hell was that? I guess she's going through like a re-brand.

A re-brand. Yeah. Because the JoJo Siwa that we knew... But she's also, it sounds like she's running through packs of cigarettes. Yeah. The way that she's, DREAM GUESS I'M A FART GUESS! You know who she sounds like?

The fucking, the chocolate thing from SpongeBob. Chocolate! What are they selling? Drink and get to my podcast! She was like such a teeny bopper, like fucking like, like ponytail to the side. Rainbow like dancing type of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now all of a sudden we got. Now she's just like. Yeah. Drink and get to my podcast! And she's like damn bro. And she's like, she has like a tattoos now too, doesn't she? I don't know, cause sometimes I see her with tattoos

and I'm like there's a lot of tattoos, but then I see her and I'm like no tattoos. No tattoos. So maybe they're temporary ones? I don't know. It could be, honestly, they could be. What I do know is. She's going through the rebrand and like.

Yeah. It's like, first of all, there's all this stuff about like the song that she released apparently it's been plagiarized that's plagiarized we're talking about the music industry by the way I love when people find out that people don't write their own songs nobody's doing that the only person that does do that is this guy right here and that guy right there we write around we never had any ghostwriter like people aren't writing their songs like pop stars and shit like you ever look at dog because they're fucking plugged into a computer and they

Fucking an AI program churns out the most like hit worthy song that you think anyone what come on? Give me a break. So that's not a big deal If someone sat down and wrote baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby. No for Justin Bieber. They should fucking Someone did though. That's crazy. Absolutely crazy group wrote that that's wild Things happen, but yeah, she's like I love that the clip that's going everywhere dream. Yes, though my poor I guess I love that. She thought that she says I'm in like the tabloids are gonna run like this and she was like Let's spice it up one of my exes as soon as the fire

bro if you spoke to any of my exes at 20 it would be such a stupid conversation because they'd be like all he cared about was fucking call of duty and zombies and the ray gun and his chad johnson jersey yeah yeah yeah like all he cares about is how fast champ Bailey can run and it's like What the fuck are you gonna get from them? Yeah, I don't know you know we have to like it's not fair It is honestly it isn't fair because these people are 20 years old when I was 20 years old It was way worse if I was in her position to like the the cringy things I would have been doing yes

And that I have done do you did yeah take it easy did but like it's just so funny to see those moments I just I feel like there's probably she's probably stuck in like this weird loop of like she grew up a child star Yeah, so like there's pressure to be like you have to you need to reinvent I mean like look at like Miley Cyrus fucking Hannah Montana you just want to rebel hard and then she she did the hardest 180 into like fucking drugs and Grinding on Robin Thicke that like I imagine. Oh, yeah, that was remember that right? Yeah. Yeah, she was like grinding on him hard, dude Remember this it was always this Yeah, yeah, it was like everything. I like Miley Cyrus a lot that song though. We can't stop

bang bang, bang, bang! Yo, that song, crazy. Yo, Miley Cyrus has heat. All I'm gonna say is, you know, after the Super Bowl this year, Becca and I were like, who is still, who is iconic and has the catalog that would be able to put on a good Super Bowl show?

Crazy. Miley Cyrus kinda could, kind of good dude bang bang bang Can't stop Recce party party in the USA. Yeah, I'll punch a window out every time I hear that and she could do some covers You can go out there with Dolly Parton fuck cover. Oh, that would be cool. You ever heard of her. Jolene Jolene you heard that shit. She fucking crushed that shit hand bone bing bangerang I don't know if I said this on the podcast or not, but Dolly Parton She like showed her face like pretty recently would knock the dust off it. Yeah, you're still going for it, huh?

Yeah, if she would have me now, you know I'm saying well That's a little bit of ageism that you said not to dust off her Maybe why cuz she's old you fucking cheap bastard literally exactly why and I'm sorry, but that's what came out of my mouth But yo, what's the song bro? She had the movie that she was in oh It's the climb Is crazy that song is a fucking big time. It's like I don't know but now we're gonna look at you. Oh, okay. What do you look at you? Say we'll look it up and sing it. Oh damn. I wish we could play the music

You just look up the lyrics, babe. That's all I need. I don't I know the lyrics I don't care about anything but the lyrics. Okay. I just sang it and you don't recognize it What do you want to do? You want to follow the new one that she had the one that got like a billion listens last year What the hell? Flowers. I can buy my flowers. And then flowers are just falling from the sky. Bro, Pepsi, Apple, whoever does the Apple fucking Super Bowl shows now, hire us.

She's out there singing flowers and then there's just hundreds of fucking flowers everywhere. And there's trees everywhere. And she's doing it in, on sand, write my name in the sand, and then it pans up and it's the flower petals falling on the word Miley written in the sand. Okay.

And then I could also go into party in the USA because that feels like a beachy song to me. And then because she could, you know, yeah, absolutely. And then she'll be like, and then she'll parachute in like hopped off the plane to LAX. She'll get- When is the Super Bowl back in LA?

I don't know, but it's not soon enough. Now for this idea Now for this I did first of all NFL you bastards. I know you're listening We know that you've been really heavily in on this big brand war for the basement boys. Yeah, good. Oh, we know you're watching we're gonna Raji It's not a nickname for Roger BJ Raji's who I was talking to Who's that again? You don't remember the defensive lineman BJ Raji? Oh, that's who it is. From fucking Green Bay?

Yeah, yeah. Listen. That's a good pull, man. I'm coming up with pulls all day. BJ Raji is wild. Where else did you think you were gonna hear a champ Bailey and a BJ Raji fucking pull in the same episode?

Listen, NFL, we know that you are really looking to get like a finger back on the polls with a young crowd because your demographic is understandably people within probably 35 to 65. Right, yeah. We can help you. We can help. We've got it down packed here.

You said packed? Down packed. Yeah, at PACT though. Yes, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just come. That took me years to figure that out But I kind of feel bad for Jojo see why because she's doing 20 bro. Come on I mean, I don't feel bad for the bank account

I think that no, but like I also think that like this makes a lot of sense cuz like you said she was young She's got fucking multicolored rivers in her hair. She's making all types of merch. She's fucking killing it. She was dancing hard, dude It's going crazy. She's getting sick. I'm gonna sweat and Now it's like yo, I'm gonna completely rebrand but I'm gonna throw it the entire other way So she she like she's like coming out now and she's like, yeah Yeah, she's got like like black and glitter and like a horn and like, you know what I mean? Like she's like, yeah, we're gonna turn this whole thing around. And I think she's like, I saw like a video of her like introducing the song to like,

I guess like her release party. And then she's like, you know, like, she's trying to be like, kind of like sexy. Oh yeah, she's like, oh, there's a subliminal in this. Which is like. It's not that it's, I don't think that she was trying to be sexy. It was more like she's being edgy.

Edgy, like they said I'm crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like some shit, it's like all right, go for it JoJo. Does she at any point in time drop the Siwa? Or does she drop the JoJo and just go like. What is her name? Joanna? JoJo, that's JoJo, the one who broke my heart

and broke up with you. Broke up with me. Fucking she is, there are very few women on this planet that can say they broke both of our hearts. Crushed us, man. And honestly, that's one of them. Yeah. Jojo Siwa.

Real name. Oh, Jessalyn. What a, of course. Of course. Oh no, that's her mom's name. Oh yeah. Jessalyn is her mom's name. That makes sense.

Jessalyn. Jessalyn. I'm Jessalyn, my daughter's name. That makes sense. Jessalyn! Jessalyn! I'm Jessalyn! My daughter's dancing! That's JoJo! That's what she's doing! That's what she's so good at. Jessalyn! Hi Jessalyn, nice to meet you.

Hi, I'm Jessalyn, how's it doosie? Oh my god, my girl. Her name is Joelle Joanie. Where the hell does the Siwa come from? I feel like that's like cultural. Their last name is Siwa. Oh! You said Joleen, Jojo, Joleen? She said Jojo, bro, two Joes, what do you mean?

I got Joel and Joanie. Oh, so Jojo, last name Siwa. Yeah, what did you think? I thought her last name was the middle one that you said. Oh, no, no, no. Joanie. No, her last name was Siwa. Oh, okay.

All right. I mean, listen, Jojo? Tom Siwa, Jessalyn Siwa, she has a brother, Jay is Siwa. Oh, okay. All right. I mean, listen, Jojo. Tom Siwa, Jessalyn Siwa, she has a brother, Jaden Siwa. What's with these J's? Oh, I hate that. I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't like that. Really? I don't. And I told my sister,

I told my sister because I was like, you can't have three and they all have the same letter. I can't do this. Like the Kardashians yeah Chris it's like oh my Kim she's got like directions as children here's fucking east I'm saying there's west no they all their names like Courtney can't all K's and my sisters they're both M and I was like yeah yeah and then isn't the brother crazy isn't the brother Rob it's's like, here's Courtney, Chloe, Kim, Rob.

Rob. You know? Yeah. Damn. Give him like a Christian or something. I wish the best for Jojo Siwa because I can understand. No, I can't. I could imagine the pressures growing up as a child star

and having all that money. I can understand being a massive deal, bro. And then it like you feel like you need to reinvent yourself. She's probably getting pressure from everywhere being like you need to figure it out or else you are gonna be dead in the water. And I figuratively speaking. I also yeah Jesus I also want to say this. Go ahead. It's the the moment was funny to me to watch because I think it's like you're 20 years old obviously you're gonna do stupid shit sometimes in your

life. Bro. I find myself singing that fucking song though. I haven't heard it. I heard, it's called Karma. Karma's a bitch. That's like, oh, okay. It's a pop song.

All right, good. Which is in my head though, so Jojo Siwa. I think of Jojo Siwa like this. Joelle, what is it? Joelle Joelle. Don't get her, don't call her government dude. You do that when you know people, when you're cool with them.

I thought we were cool. If someone came up to you and they were like, Joseph Adolf Sanagato. That's not my name. It is? No. What's your middle name? Get, you know bro.

OJ. Whatever. No, I think of it like this. I think she's gonna be okay because, and hear me out, she's pretty similar to Tom Hanks. Frankie, stop with this! Did you do this on Patreon or on the other episode?

Frankie's trying to compare everything to Tom Hanks now. Tom Hanks started off in a very specific position. Tom Hanks' first acting gig was actually in a Christian PSA about Dungeons and Dragons against the demonic, you know, forces and satanic panic as people call it. And then as he decided that he needed to evolve, he became known as America's dad. I think JoJo Siwa pivots into being America's,

I think she's gay, like pop star friend. Oh, that she's gay? She could end up eventually like Tom Hanks. And I think that is a good place that she can eventually be. Oh, really listening, because like, who cares, you know, like about this thing that you appreciated. That you're trying to compare Jojo Siwa and Thomas Hanks close your eyes you know what they still don't seem similar what else can you I just like let me stand at one foot fucking relax okay Jojo Siwa

shout out song it's kind of a bang bang I'll have to listen to it yo you I'm big on this Miley Cyrus Super Bowl thing though. Honestly, if, I'm telling you right now. Sorry. If she does get the Super Bowl soon. I'm going. Okay. But they better ask her like walking out

like intro to her performance, have this fucking clip. Now here's Miley. What do you think? Who do you think? What do you think she would open up with? Party in the USA. That's the natural opening. Oh you should have. Broom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And she's like, ha da da ba da da da da.

And then you can have, I mean NFL loves their fucking iconic American symbolism. So you can have just fuckin' Ram Trucks just drive on the field and fuckin' do a donut. And then she- Yeah, and then she pops out the back. You know? Hopped out the floor.

You know what we could do? If she does it in the middle of her set, and it says, and it's party in the U. USA! We got Bruce Springsteen in there. Dude, you guys, I saw a video of Bruce recently he ain't looking so hot. Let me tell ya. He's a little frail.

Or, or if she's singing flowers and she's like, you know, at one point like and the song flowers, I think she mentions the word heart or something like that. And it's like doon, don't tell my heart, my achy breaky, here comes her dad Billy Ray

and then father the first father daughter duo at the Super Bowl I'm gonna spit I don't think she fucked with her dad actually oh but that could be a reunion big reunion now we're talking about like WrestleMania now we're talking about Billy Ray's back they killed the beef and he back. And then you hear the fucking gong and the Undertaker rises up and chokeslams Billy Ray. I'm about it. That's all I'm saying. This could be iconic. A wrecking ball comes just knocks him off the stage. Yes. Oh my god. Think of like in a legit wrecking ball. That would kill a person. We're having fun. But like she's, it's like a clear plexiglass wrecking ball and she's in it singing and it hits a wall

and the wall is like Liam Hemsworth's face because that's who she wrote the song for. Right, I got it. He cheated apparently, maybe. Something, yeah. Or his brother. I don't know. I don't know, honestly.

I don't know. We're not gonna peer into people's personal lives. All I know is he should have bought her flowers. Yeah. Because she bought her, no, now she can buy herself flowers. Yeah, she doesn't need anyone to buy flowers. She can do that. She can write her own name in the sand.

Of course, easily. You know what else she could do? What? Talk to herself for hours. Yeah, that one is like, that's a long time. And also, I wouldn't boast about that. That seems like you're very close on a mental break. I can talk to myself for 15 hours straight.

That's funny. People aren't going, oh. People are going, are you OK? What's going on? There's some people who live under trains that do this. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the difference there?

You know, I can take myself dancing. Yeah, you can. Enjoy it. Dancing is more fun with other yeah, yeah. What's the difference there? I can take myself dancing. Yeah, you can. Enjoy it. Dancing is more fun with other people though. We can agree to that. Not always. She can hold her own hand. Is this holding hands or is it just like, yes.

That's how you hold hands? You do the cup method? No, I just- I interlock. Okay, good. But now this isn't holding hands. This is me like- Praying. Please God. Well, people't holding hands. This is me like praying Please God people pray like this

But this is like an informal pray when you get here It gets a little more serious when you get here the energy of Jesus is spitting out of your fingertips Like this is just like a casual conversation. This is like, God please. Throw me a bone. This is like, okay God. And then this is like, BEEEW! Like there's a fucking, fucking beam. This is like lights around you.

This is a sky beam shooting from your fingers. A direct line, you know? Yeah, this is a direct call to Jesus H right. Yeah, I need you now. What the fuck? Yeah, there are different levels of prayer. That's why they used to that's why old people go like this because like back then there was like You know, it was polio and shit. There was a lot more problems So they they had a straightened their fingers just to make sure because back then they had like polio and like the measles and shit So like everything was getting like all curled up and shit So they had a show like these are pin straight fingers, baby. I got nothing no iron lungs for this guy over here

Piece of shit. Oh god. That was fucking funny. Shout out to Miley Cyrus though. Miley Cyrus and Jojo Siwa. Yes Icons two icons of the game frogs and toads Okay, I guess so. We got, anyway, you know what? We gotta get some sponsors for today. The first one being Squarespace. Do you wanna build a website or do you have some content or something

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So you can't lick it but you can go over there and you can maybe enjoy what you see go to patreon.com Slash or basement yard guys. We went and made 30,000 paid patrons. It is Unbelievable that we crossed that. It is something Joey and I legitimately are grateful for and talk about, and we are baffled by the love and support. So thank you guys so much. And we are continuing to grow and it's because of people like you. So thank you. We really appreciate it. Uh, if you join, you get that first tier, you get all the weekly episodes a week in advance. Okay. So you get to be up and in on the hip lingo before everybody else

does. And then that second tier, well, that's where you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So that means Monday and Friday, you start and end your normal traditional work week with the basement yard. And guess what? Listen, I know what you're thinking. Like, Oh, I'll just get what's new. No, no, no. Any episode that has ever been on there from the inception of this when there was another potentially overweight Hispanic man on this show, you could see all of those going back to then. So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and sign up today and thank you.

And guys, the basement yard experience, we did it. We sold out all of our shows, which is wild, but this is a message for you guys that were able to come to the shows to get tickets. If you go to the basement yard.com slash submit, you let us know what show you're coming to and you submit a questionnaire. And these are crazy stories that we use for our first three episodes and we use them to interact with you guys. So we highly encourage it. You could be kept anonymous if you want, maybe, you know, at the Boston show, we had someone come on stage and reveal to her dad that she had gotten a really dumb looking tattoo. So anything could happen. Okay. We want these shows to be curated and crazy for your guys enjoyment and entertainment. So go to thebasementyard.com

slash submit, submit your questionnaire and get ready because the basement yard coming out the basement to a city near you. Good job. I'm kind of, you know, it's like I've done this before. You do it all the time. I do. Right? Yeah. So there was something else that happened. The British rowing team.

Yes. So this is every now and then I come to Joey with a story or something that happened. And it's really, it's a, it's a Frankie thing because I think it's hysterical and Joey will be like all right I'll entertain you you throw me a bone you kind of you look at me and you know you know how like dog owners will just like throw a dog bowl and he's like here that's what you do in these situations so there's a British rowing team which is the widest sentence ever an insane have you ever done like British rowing team have you ever done like British rowing team Have you ever done like or met people that did like crew or road or anything like that never I was on a train with

Them once a train yeah who we said with them the yeah The Yale rowing team. Oh are they strong dudes dude? Holy shit massive fuckers not not massive, just like, it was. Solid. Bro, solid dude. Like their. Backs. Let me, let me.

Let me. Their arms were cut the fuck up. Yeah. Just like, and the amount, cause like I hate that machine at the gym. The rower. I hate it so much. But these dudes were yoked.

Yeah. And also kind of douchebags, but that's neither here nor there. They went to Yale. Well, you said it. We have friends that went to Yale. Not douchebags. Not one of them.

Oh shit. No jokers. They don't listen to this, they're not gonna, they will never know that you said that. Ever, dude, ever. Unless it's clipped. But they were rowing through, the spelling is weird, but I made sure I know how you said that. Unless it's clipped. But they were rowing through, the spelling is weird,

but I made sure I know how to pronounce it. Rivetims, which is in London. What is that? It's like their river. It's like their Hudson. Oh, okay. But apparently it's like just inundated with sewage. Poop.

Well, yeah. And pee. Poop, pee. What? Let me ask you a question. Yeah, not normally in either of those things. Yeah, I mean. You flushed in a lot of blood, Joey?

No, I'm saying a city would. I didn't even think about this. Women. Women blood. Women blood. Women, yeah. Women, because of menstruation. Egg blood.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't wanna touch that one. What? I don't wanna talk about menstruation. Why not? Because I don't want to touch that one. What I don't want to talk about menstruation Why not because I don't know much about it and I don't want to come off. Oh, we know that stupid No, it bleeds it happens. Yeah, of course it happens. It must suck It does. Yeah, I don't know why I'm saying it does What do you know? I know that it sucks for women. I've witnessed the sucking.

Yeah, well, I share my life with a woman. I grew up in a home with two of them. Exactly. I could see that it is not fun. Not a good time at all. So I hate bleeding. We stand with you. We stand.

Fuck menstruation. We're anti-blood. Oh, I don't want to say that because then it makes me sound like affiliated with somebody that we're talking about. We are, we, we are, we stand with you because of how difficult it is and we are sorry. Support you. Support.

And we're sorry if we did anything. And but we're also sorry that we can't experience it too. If I can menstruate for women, I wouldn't, but I'd. But I still would. In the world that we currently live in, where we can't, we would. But if we could, we wouldn't. We probably wouldn't.

Yeah. Yeah, if I had the option, I would say no, but I don't have the option, so I'm gonna say I would. Yeah. I think that counts for not nothing. I'm sorry. I'm also Yeah. I think that counts for not nothing. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry. It is crazy that like, half the population is just like in excruciating pain

once a month, and the other half were just like, oh man. Is it always excruciating? Cause some people- The pain of being a man. It's like, what the fuck? What do we got? I did see a comment the other day of being like Being straight is like a crime now. I don't like Bro, I hate I hate that the war on straight men. Being straight is a crime. Yeah the war on straight. Ah My favorite my favorite did you see the

The line like something like Nick Offerman for that episode of the last of us. Yeah, got an award. The gay one? My favorite, my favorite, did you see the line, like Nick Offerman for that episode of The Last of Us? Got an award. The gay one? Yeah. Dude, they were kissing so in lovely gayness. I know, it was wild. But someone said to him, why did it need to be a gay story?

And he was like, because of fucking idiots like yeah Yeah, like it's a love story, right? I also Like if it was just a straight couple there's no like you would never know I mean you would know if it was a straight couple you'd be like, oh they're gonna like end up together But this was like came out nowhere. Yeah. Well because like the lonely guys They played on like the fucking like this is a fucking hermit man You know like yeah, and you know there's no way this bearded man is gonna kiss this guy and he fucking smooches this But yeah, those are my or my favorite is just like oh I don't want to see it and it's like look at any fucking billboard in Manhattan and it's just fucking scantily clad men and women

Yes, I said scantily clad. Okay. Did you ride in on your horse? Take it easy Scythily clad just like it's funny cuz it's like I don't want to see it and it's like fucking everyone sees basically regular porn It's also bullshit too because like bro We're talking about the end of civilization in this show the people are not in you know what I'm saying like there's no more people and these two dudes like fell in love or like fucked a couple or whatever I think oh they they were together they were pounding here they're not in time they were fucking they were going nuts but like I mean, this happens in prison

for less years. And also- And it's prison. Also prison. They were in the open world. Yeah, but also like, there's no one around. Like- You're going, you're a post-apocalyptic gay?

You're- I'm not saying, but I don't, who knows? I would with confidence say I'm not. I can with, I know, I know myself. How can you say that though? Because you're always the person who's like, oh, you don't know until you're in that situation. When it comes to anything else, that's what you say.

I'm talking about you, you're, you haven't seen a person in 13 years. I'm pretty comfortable, you know what? I am very comfortable in my sexuality that like, I don't think it's just something where it's just like, Who's around? Mister, get over here! I'm not saying that either. You're doing the timeline thing. What am I doing timeline? You made it seem like you stumbled upon a man and you start kissing him. I'm not fucking gay.

Did you watch the episode Joey? Yeah. They were together a while. Before they kissed? But they were both gay! The one guy was gay that guy was gay from birth. You could tell he was gay the one he like found Right. He was like, you know in a dirt hole or whatever. He like got trapped or something. He's like this guy was gay then Nick Offerman had a wife, didn't he? I think that's the point is that maybe he was gay with a wife that happened That's of course it happens, you know The point is that maybe he was gay with a wife. That happened.

Of course it happens. You know? He's been always been gay. And he found like the true love of like his wife, like whatever, she got eaten or whatever. Eat? No, she got bit. How does that work?

I forgot that whole show. You should watch it again. It's very good. You never played the games, right? No, I didn't. So do you know what happens in the second game? They're gay in the game. Oh I mean so the character Frank is in the first game. Which one's Frank? Nick Offerman. Got it

And there is not like an outright saying like hey, I'm gay. It's very Closely alluded to. Okay. But I'm saying like just the last of us has a story do you know what happens in the second game no boy you like the first season yeah gear the fuck up there's some shit coming your way that oh in the show they like kill themselves what didn't they like kill themselves or something with poison they both did they put yeah, they oh the guy was like Oh, I'm doing it too as like a yeah, bro. That's that's one of the best Episodes of TV I've ever seen in my entire life. It was really good. It is incredible

Yeah, it's up there with like breaking bad episodes. I will say I Wish there was more like in that episode. I'm, these two dudes now are shacked up full gay and like let some zombies get through the fence and like let's fucking tear them up. They do. I forgot the episode. You clearly don't remember this fucking show at all. I forgot the episode.

You don't, first of all, they're infected with the cordyceps fungus, which is a real fungus, but it's like they're like raiders that get through and stuff like that. Oh, which is a real fungus. But it's like, there are like Raiders that get through and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, guys, if you didn't watch Last of Us, legitimately, it was a great first season.

Yeah. The games were great. Don't spoil it. I mean, we already spoiled that they're gay. That was the biggest twist of the whole episode. No, for me, I was like, what? It happens very quick. Does it? Is it like the first night he's there?

Yeah. Oh wow. Oh yeah, no that's... You know, remember he's playing Linda Ronstadt on the piano? Oh yeah. And he's just like... Nothing like a little piano to get gayness going. Kick off the gayness with a little piano. We are, we are skeetin' on some thin ice here, Joey.

Why? It's gay love. We started with menstruation and now we're here Like who knows I hope we don't offend anyone Jojo see you off back there. Jojo. Yes. She's gay. What a gay episode and And Miley Cyrus is like bisexual I don't know. We don't want to label anything We don't want people to know that. We know that she can buy herself flowers.

We do know that. And she can love whoever she wants. I don't think that's a lyric in it, but she can do that. Yeah. Shout out to the last of us. What the fuck were we talking about? The British Royalty.

But, so they were fucking going through poo poop and pee pee in the water got sick and let me ask you a question mm-hmm you get sick from poop for yeah bacterial infection sinus infection whatever but it's poop like I how are you curing yourself and type by ah antibiotics right I would go to the doctor and I would get some pills I you don't all right you don't do that though I'm at home remedies what are you doing to like kind of like treat yourself a Yeah, I would go to the doctor and I would get some pills. You don't, all right. You don't do that though. At home remedies, what are you doing to like,

kind of like treat yourself a little bit? Bath, shower, big scrubbing. No Joey, you're already sick. Oh. Are you over the counter meds? I'm saying, are you like stupid today? What happened to you? Like are you taking any at-home remedies and herbal remedies like herbal remedies? What do you think? I live with monks I don't we mean I'm gonna drink a tea that's gonna fix

Diarrhea bacteria in me that's how they did it That's how they did it years and years and years ago before modern science fucking revolutionized the game years ago That's when they died of diarrhea So let's see how far the tea got ya. But like there are fucking roots and herbal remedies and tisanes and stuff like that. You think I know that? I would think that you have a brain

and you have fucking explored the world outside of medicine, Joey. Time, time, time. Explain to me how you crush up a little plant root and you make this and you make a little tea and it fixes your diarrhea. Explain! No, no, no, no. Clearly Joey didn't grow up in a house. Clearly you make this, you make a little tea and it fixes your diarrhea. Explain! No, no, no, no.

Clearly Joey didn't grow up in a house, clearly Joey didn't grow up in a house where the first thing that someone did when they were not feeling well was drink ginger ale. No, no, no. And then, and then some soup. It's a soda, bro. Real ginger ale.

I know now. Schweppes, Schweppes. Listen. I know Schweppes. Schweppes is now high fructose corn syrup For a second you asked me if I got sick from diarrhea in my mouth, right? If I got sick from that You're upset that I didn't go well, I'd make a soup

What do you think that's gonna do? People do because our fucking rigged ass fucking healthcare system is charging people thousands of dollars to go get an antibiotic. A soup isn't killing any diarrhea. Some people believe that you can. They're wrong! No, no, no. I'm not, I'm not fighting you here. I'm not-

So you'd make a soup, eat a chicken noodle, the diarrhea goes away. What are you saying over there? Joey, there are people, myself included, that to an extent believe that you can use food and herbal remedies to fucking, to get around some things. I believe that too. The joke is that these fucking idiot British people use Coca-Cola. That's the joke.

Wait, what? Yeah. Who do you mean Coca-Cola? They drank a bunch of Coca-Cola? They said in the thing that in order to get rid of the bacteria, they wanted to kill it with Coca-Cola, so they drank Coca-Cola? They said in the thing that in order to get rid of the bacteria they wanted to kill it with Coca-Cola, so they drank Coca-Cola What's going on?

Did your dad give him that advice? Using a suntan lotion is like are you shit Coca-Cola? I want a nice tan and I'm not feeling well Two stones one bird That's what my dad would say you Exactly. Two stones, one bird. That's what my dad would say. You can kill two stones with one pigeon. You could do that if you want. That's the thing is that they believe that they could use fucking Coca-Cola to kill. Bro, Coca-Cola, what does that say about what people believe your brand is, dude?

What does that say, dude? Yeah, I don't know. First it was cocaine, now it's like, let's kill this fucking diarrhea that's in my system. Yeah, what does it do otherwise? Like if you're drinking it to kill bacteria that's inside you. Maybe that's why Ahmed doesn't get sick that much.

This kid loves Coca-Cola, bro. He does love Coca-Cola. He'll never get E. coli. He'll get it. It will never exist. He was counting the Coca-Colas he was drinking at, in Austin when we were there. He'd be like, yo, yo, yo. Three.

Number three, yeah. He's a big beverage guy. I love Coca-Cola too, I will say. But I've been out with him and it's like water, Moscow mule, black coffee, Coca-Cola. What the fuck? All at the same time? At the same time. Does he swig from each and then just that's a great question

I don't know no wonder his stomachs and fucking shambles I mean he's trying to digest black coffee high fructose corn syrup water and fucking alcohol the exact same time His stomachs looking up and I'm like, bro. Yeah, you're not doing me What do you want for me? I'm working double overtime shifts, bro. What are you doing? Dude, but there's no part of you that like growing up like your family would be like, oh, you're not feeling well here Have a ginger ale. Yeah, if I had like an upset stomach not if I had equal I May be thinking is that if I mean, yeah, she my mom used to give us like ginger ale sometimes But like I does that actually work. I know that like ginger. I mean ginger is an herbal remedy

Joey like is there trace amounts of ginger in a ginger ale? You know what I mean? I think the idea is that there should be, but. That's what I'm saying, like is it actually helping or is it just like this, what's that called? Placebo effect. I don't know, honestly. I think, there he is.

I think that there is ginger in ginger ale. I do too, but it might be like. Well not like. A little slice. Let's call it how we see it. You know, the Canada Dry and Schweppes, the big brands are probably, there's no real ginger in those.

But like, you can get like a legit ginger ale or ginger beer, excuse me, and it might have like real ginger in it. Or, or, what's the other one that you love all the time? Booch. The Booch. Get the Booch. Yeah, I don't know. Get some? Booch. The Booch. Get the Booch. Yeah, I don't know.

Get some Kimbooch. Some Booch. You know? Or you know what you could get? Seat Geek. You could get some Seat Geek, guys. Listen, Seat Geek, that's where I get all my tickets. You wanna go to a baseball game,

you wanna go to a concert, you wanna go to a Broadway play, you wanna go to a Munchetruck rally, you wanna go to like anything that has tickets, you wanna go to the Basement Yard actually. I looked it up on Seat Geek by the way. The Basement Yard experience on Seat Geakeak so people are reselling tickets on there If you see the prices, we're not making those prices

Okay, those are what people are reselling them for the prices are way lower for us, but we're on Seakeak too So if you have Seakeak, all right Or actually if you don't have Seakeak, you're gonna need it. It's where I get everything. I love their interface It tells you when it's a good ticket and a bad ticket. It all color-coded. It has everything that you can imagine on there and usually what happens is they give you some money off if it's your first time purchasing but No longer the case. We're getting a little crazy now Everyone could use the new code basement 10 for 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek So even if you have bought tickets before on SeatGeek,

I know previously we've said like if it's your first purchase then you get this discount or whatever. This is for anybody. Basement 10, 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek. So if you're going to anything use that basement 10 get 10% off. It's a nice little 10% that you get to keep in your pocket. Okay. So yeah, go to go download the Seageek app use the code basement10 for 10% off tickets on Seageek Okay, go outside go enjoy something take a little nice little somebody do something. All right And lastly here this show is sponsored by better help better help is online therapy If you want to start talking to a therapist, which I recommend you do, I recommend everybody gets into therapy. I love it, it's done wonders for me.

And I think that everyone should be in it and definitely like try it out. It's like scary to sign up for it first and you're like, I don't even know what I would talk about, but trust me, eventually, you know, once you get into the flow of it, it is very helpful and therapeutic. So for anyone that wants to get into, you know into therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp.

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at betterhelp.com slash BasementYard, okay? B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash BasementYard. Get 10% off your first month and enjoy, folks. get 10% off your first month and enjoy folks. As you're reading the ad, I just, the thing on my Facebook and it was a memory from 14 years ago. Question, I'm reading the advertisements, you log onto Facebook?

I just, I had it like, I hate seeing the little red number notification thing. So I just go on and just to get it out. Me too. But I saw it, like, I hate seeing the little red number notification thing, so I just go on, I just get it out. Me too. But I saw, it was like memory from 14 years ago, and I know how much you love how stupid I was 14, 15 years ago. It's unbelievable.

And it's just a status that says, who went to Dublin's last night and is a girl? And your comment, you're the first comment that says, what the fuck is going on So we were doing this 14 years ago. Yeah, what's a dub? Dublin's was like a bar a disgusting It was like a dive. That was the one in city field, right? No, that was uh It was the same one in the city. What was the one the city McFadden'sden's. McFadden's, that's what it was. McFadden's.

Dublin's was the one all the way out on Long Island. Oh, shit! Yeah, yeah. Who was at Dublin last night? That was next to Dizzy Lizards. And is a girl. Like, who's gonna see that and go, me, I'm a girl, and I was at Dublin's. You were looking for a specific girl?

Yeah, I think, and it's funny, because the other comment on there was from another one of our friends, and he was like, I found her, don't worry. Oh, so you were looking for a specific girl? Yeah, I think and it's funny because the other comment on there was from another one of our friends And he's like I found her don't worry. Oh, so you were looking for someone. I was trying to help my boy. Oh I thought you were you were looking for a girl. Oh no no no I was not looking for a girl for me So the way that you decided to help your friend is like and this is a huge bar by the way It's big multiple rooms like And he said who went and is a girl? Those are the only requirements. Who was there and it was a girl. Right.

You know, but it was next to Dizzy Lizards, wasn't it? I've never been there. I went a couple of times and it was, legitimately they had a night that was a quarter beers. Was it, it wasn't full beer. It was like Dixie cups of beers, but a quarter. It wouldn't matter, yeah.

A quarter? You show up with five bucks, you a quarter brother. It wouldn't matter, yeah. A quarter? You show up with five bucks, you're livin' it up, baby. Actually no, at that time we were puttin' them back. Five bucks is 20. 20 of these. Yeah, that's true. 20 of these. But still enough beer though.

Which is like three to a regular beer. So like that's three, six, nine, 12, 15, 18. Yeah, we were probably a little drunk. Yeah. I don't know. We were tanks back then. Yeah. You ever think about legitimately like insane, how insane it was, how much we were able to drink.

Disgusting. Disgusting. And it's not even because of like, you're able to drink it and not get drunk. It was like just the sheer calories are like oh Oh, here's fucking big health Joe like the caloric intake and the fucking output of energy We needed in order to remain a bit of bit of fucking loser idiot loser What a sad way to think of alcohol? No, we drank so many calories

Well, that's crazy. We also fucking played football and basketball and soccer and baseball every day. Yeah, but I'm saying like, I'm saying like how are you able to keep that in here? Because your metabolism is like a fucking well-oiled machine at that age. Yeah, but like it takes time. Like you drink 20 beers.

One, I feel like if I drank 20 beers now, I would literally just be like, like that. And, like the like that. And, like the bloating. What is the most beers right now you think you can drink until you're just like, I gotta stop. Just like Bud Light cans?

Yeah, gotta stop. Or I'll even make it a little easier on you. How long do I have? Natty Ice. Natty Light. How many, how long do I have? A full day. Oh, a day?

Yeah. Definitely could crush a case in a day. You could crush a whole case. I think so could you I Think you could drink a case quicker than me. Probably what does that mean though bitch? That I don't know that you could you also can burp like I can't burp. Yeah, Joey's convinced. So I have to like stop He's like Like no fucking burp you loser don't make fun of my trainer disorder something suffocates the burp Fucking idiot. Yeah, I mean Yeah, I mean you don't think you drink 30 beers in a day

Day, dude, that's a lot of beers. It is but like it takes an hour to burn off one beer Now look who's going to burn off I'm saying in the morning, right bro think about when we went to Pennsylvania We were playing beer games. How many beers did we drink that day? That wasn't that long ago? I don't think it was the beers that did us in it was also the Jameson and the jello shots and you know I'm saying I found a video of you on like one of those swings that like rock back and forth and I'm standing there like this Getting it into my fucking balls Yeah, that was one of the most balls that was one of the most drunk I've ever been

Yeah, that was that was a tough one. We kept winning so we couldn't stop. How do you stop? We played six games of beer ball in a matter of an hour Which for those you guys that's six beers in an hour, which is not a little bit. Yeah. I love beer ball so much. That game is so fucking fun. Yeah. I'm shocked we haven't done like a studio beer tournament

or like beer Olympics or something. First of all, that would be just a absolute massacre. How? If we were on a team for like a beer Olympics? We would be good at it. In here? We would be good at it. I don't know how we haven't done that. I don't know you have three kids. Yeah that's true. When we have to pick out the time for us to get blacked. That is true yeah. I would lose two days. But you know what we're talking about? Rowing and shit. Yeah, rowing and shit. Coca-Cola and your dad giving the British rowing team some advice. Drink some

Coca-Cola you should be fine. That is a very my dad thing to do. Or like a 1920s doctor. It's like, ah, you got a headache? A couple cigarettes you'll be alright. Yeah, exactly. Back then and that's when Coca-Cola had like cocaine in it and stuff like that. Is that a real thing or is that a room? I believe it was a real thing. I mean, if you look it up, you'll be able to get more information on it, which you have the computer, you're not gonna, you're not gonna.

I'm not gonna do that. I used to have this like big mirror in my basement for some reason. The Coca-Cola one. Yeah, you remember that? It was a mirror that had all this shit on it. And it was like etched in Coca-Cola. And there was a woman on it, who was that?

The Coca-Cola lady. That was a guess. That was a Coca-Cola. You there was a woman on it, who was that? The Coca-Cola lady. That was a guess. That was a Coca-Cola. You said it was such like- But that was back when it was just like every big brand had a lady as their branding. It's like, oh, the St. Pauli girl, here she is. The fucking Coca-Cola broad.

Double mint, you like gum? Here's twins with tits. It's just like, okay. You like hot hot girls how about two that look exactly the same and are related yeah I just want this better I just want some gum man I don't know I'm not trying to have a threesome I want my breath sucks do you ever have someone go yell your breath stinks yes I was very embarrassed. It was in a public? It was, so I did a, I did a, for college, I did an internship

with a police department. And there was one officer that I did several ride-alongs with. Uh-huh. And he was- Did you get a gun? I wore a Kevlar vest, I didn't wear a gun. I wore a bulletproof vest. That was such a stupid question. You wore get a gun? I wore a Kevlar vest, I didn't wear a gun. I wore a bullet.

That was such a stupid question. You wore a vest though? I wore a bulletproof vest, yeah. And they were nice, but the officer that I did the ride-along with was a fucking douchebag. Like, typical, like I'm a cop, the world answers to me. Yeah. You know, and I know not all.

You're showing off your cool in front of college kids. Yeah, yeah, like I know not all cops are like that, obviously, but like this guy, like it got to his head. You know what I mean? And he was like, to me, like he was fine. And like we never spoke like close, but we were in a car. And at the end of the internship, I asked like the guy that like I set up the internship with,

I was like, oh, what did you, like how did I do? Any words of advice? He's like, no, no, no, I thought you did great. You know, good job, you know, best of luck. I was like, did anyone what did you, like, how did I do? Any words of advice? He's like, no, no, no, I thought you did great. You know, good job, you know, best of luck. I was like, did anyone like say anything about me? He's like, yeah, so officer so-and-so. And I was like, oh, what did he say? Cause I had went on ride-alongs with this guy,

gave tickets, like nothing that like would require like intense close contact. Yeah, and he was like, ah he He said you have halitosis. I was like, what the fuck what's halitosis? It's like the official term for bad breath And I was not only did he say Yeah, he diagnosed me this bastard. Oh my god. I was very and I was just like really Yeah, homeostasis He's like yeah, I was like do I and he was like oh, I don't I don't think I don't know and I and then I like since then I was like fucking like what the fuck

Yeah, it was weird, but it like he got to you had you bought a bunch of gum hell. Yeah Hell, yeah, he's got Halitosis yeah, I I was just like what the fuck? Did anyone ever tell you you had bad breath? Probably. Like nothing like that stands out. No one's ever had halitosis. They've diagnosed you? Yeah, no one's ever been like yo you have a scientific problem wrong with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're medically bad breath. Alright, take it easy now. Medical grade dog shit mouth. Okay, didn't go that far. Yeah.

I actually don't have like, I've been told that I don't have morning breath. Becca says the same thing to me. Think she's just being nice. Maybe. I think she is. Yeah. Cause I say like, you don't like,

I don't have morning breath. She's like, no, you really don't. She also says sometimes I don't stink. I know you just itch your nose, but like, no, you really don't. Yeah. She also said like, there are days I'll like, when I worked my old job, I'd get home and I stunk. And she'd be like, no you really don't. There are days when I worked my old job,

I'd get home and I stunk, and she'd be like, you really don't? And I was like, this I know it's a lie. Oh okay, yeah. I can't trust you now, you're being too nice. But maybe she really doesn't. If I had bad breath, you'd tell me. Yeah, there have been points in your life

when you've had bad breath, as I'm sure of me. Sure. But there have been points where it smells like you've had bad breath. You know, as I'm sure of me, sure. But like, there have been points where it smells like you chomped on like, human shit. You don't have to detail. You were very clear that you said, my halitosis smelled like dog shit before, so. No, I'm saying. Just need to make sure I volley it back over to you, okay?

You fucking hit that shuttlecock this way, I'm throwing it right back over to you, okay? That is what that's called. Shuttlecock. What a stupid name. Shouldn't be named that. What a stupid sport, and a stupid name in a sport that's already losing

because it's called birdie. Or badminton. Also really dumb. Birdie? No, I thought that was called a birdie. The shuttlecock. It's called a birdie. But the sport is also called birdie.

Or badminton. Minton? Badminton, it's B-A-D-M-I-N-T-O-N, badminton. I always thought it was, you're right, I know that. But I always said badminton. Like an idiot, like a dumbass who said that. It's badminton, not a goodminton, not at all. Anyway, it is folks.

Frank, where can I find you, chief? Yeah, badminton.com, find me, Frank Alvarez, all for social media. And then like I said earlier, I'm not going to mess this one up. TheBasementYard.com slash submit. If you're coming to any of our basement yard experience shows, go submit the questionnaire. Maybe we'll talk to you. Maybe we'll talk about you. If you don't want us to talk, you want to be kept anonymous, that's fine.

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