The Basement Yard - #449 - The Big Beef Battle Royale

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Things are about to get a whole lot beefier! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard podcast featuring Joe Santagato and that guy over there. Yeah, I can make up something. I knew you were going to make up something. I just did a little shimmy. Angel Hernandez, not Angel Hernandez. The MLB umpire.

Angel Rivera. That was my fake ID name. That's right. But I would, they would go Angel, I'd go Angel. You know, cause I had to really commit to the bit. Okay, you did get it taken away, so it didn't work. I got it taken away after years of using it though. You know what's funny is I got it taken away

about two months before I turned 21. At McCann's, right? Yeah, it was by a big Asian dude, and I was so angry at him. I remember, because I was inside, I think. Yeah, well you were already 21. You were already 21 at the time. Oh yeah.

And I got it taken away and I was very upset. But I'd use that. Here's the thing is I got that when I think I was like 19. So I used it for at that point, almost two years. The person whose ID I was, first of all, it was found in a deli and given to me by someone perfect and They he was ten years older than me. So like what?

This guy was 30 and you were trying to pass his 30. Yeah, I Swear to God so like I wasn't just like I always think of the thing welcome back I always think of the thing from make love and from super bad I always think of the thing from McLovin from Superbad where he's just like, how many 21 year olds you think there are in this neighborhood? You know, fucking idiot. Oh, that's how you were just finding it. Like yo, if you're 21, he's gonna think it's fake,

but if I'm 30. Yeah, genius. And not when you looked like how you did. It worked all but like once. Every other time it worked and I got away with it Yeah, but also people didn't care. No back then they were just like whatever your money's good in here You know, I feel like now do fake IDs even exist now. Yeah, of course I saw some shit that like apparently the generation of kids that are turning 21 now just don't drink as much. I

Mean good for them probably be healthier healthier. Nah, fucking losers. Yeah, you guys are dweebs, dude. Fucking dweebs, losers. Chug that right now! Yeah, guess what, pledge. Shots. If you don't, you're gay. That's how we grew up.

Basically. Yeah. And even down to what you drank made you cool or gay. Gay. You know? Which is funny because when we were younger and it's like, I loved Mike's hard. That was the first thing I ever drank. Yeah, me and you, we drank them on New Year's.

And then someone was like, you drink Mike's hard? You're gay. I was like, not drinking them. It made you gay. But they're great. Same thing with like twisted teas. I remember when the first time we went to hang out. I've had that like twice.

The first time I ever went to hang out with like the aunt and all those yeah the picky boys They love them love them. They love they've got themed buckets Like they've got it all and I remember they all of them were ripping twisted tees and and a part of me was just like gay, you know But like that was that was beat into me at the age of fucking 16 I've also went full like rebelled against that whole thing because against the homophobia because now like I will go to

a like a cocktail bar and look at like I pick all of my cocktails based on if like there's tequila or mezcal in it but if there's like pineapples oh and like watermelon oh and like you know what I'm saying I want this thing to show up and just look like I bought it and I'm on a swim up bar in the yeah I don't know who decided to give Sexual orientation to drink drinks. It's like oh, it's sweet so but but let's be honest about something Oh my god, the gay are drinks are way better than the straight James, bro. It's not even close.

Also, dude, you're so sick with your whiskey neat. Yeah, like. It sucks. Dude, I like whiskey. I like whiskey too. I like whiskey on the rocks, man. I like whiskey on the rocks. I mean, I like it, Neen.

Listen, I see the appeal in it, but if you're gonna tell me that you're gonna go to a bar and you're gonna get a whiskey neat over like a fucking like a Fucking cum shot on the beach. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're out of your mind dude If I look on a menu and there's a drink that has like a gay name. I'm like Dude also dude and I listen listen I'm not just saying this I'm not just pandering because we went to a meds game one time and it was pride night Well, they had like the pride cocktail and I was like definitely getting that because of this is I like yeah It was phenomenal course it was now. What would fucking straight unhealthy unhealthy. Oh, yeah Not a sugar in there matter red dye in that bitch is probably insane

It looked like it looked like you took a bunch of ice pops that were like not frozen and just dumped them. I like that. I kinda like that. I like it. I love it. I want some Mo of it. I just like, I just don't get it. Why did we need to like, listen, whoever, whatever fucking homophobic loser out there was just like certain drinks are gay, certain drinks are straight. You ruined a whole fucking generation. I could have grown up enjoying this shit. And now I need to find it in my later fucking years when I can't drink like I used to? I wanted to drink a Cosmo in my house too, but I couldn't because I was afraid my dad would find me and then disown me.

And he would. He would have. He would have A hundred percent he would have if my dad my dad didn't like us drinking period He really really didn't because my dad is sober. My dad's been sober for 30 years. I know This is what's crazy. Most of the drinking we did was at his I know this is what's crazy is my dad for years Like didn't know we drank What I swear to God Frank outside until we were like 20 years old He didn't knew that way like he really so funny. I love my dad This is a big dad episode not Father's Day, but here we go my dad for years We would always say because his mom passed away, you know fucking 17 years ago at this who cares move on

Okay, and we would always say like, what was it like with her growing up? And he was like, good mom, really naive. And we're like, naive, neef. And he, are you that? Oh, he thinks it's neef. Neef, yeah. Got it.

But, we were like, what do you mean? He's like, I do all this stuff she never know. And then legitimately, my dad didn't know we drank until we were like 20 years old. Mind you, literally, I would say maybe 27 feet from where he lays his head at night. I have drank 30 beers in a night. 27 is generous, dude. Like six feet from where-

37 beers multiple times. Dude, and he just like legitimately didn't know, and then when he found out he was like, oh. Like you're fucking, you're naive too. But if I, if my dad found out I was drinking, and it was just like a fucking dirty martini, he would have kicked me square in the chest, and be like, don't do that.

Yeah, right? That's for downtown. What does that mean? according to fucking whoever made up geographic locations for the game? Where's gay downtown? Fucking it doesn't make sense, dude Dude Why are we running away from the coolest parts of the thing? The coolest shit! The best cocktails, the best parts of town

They were also, the gays might have been gatekeeping it a little bit too Cause they were just like alright, we don't need to share this stuff with you It's ours now And like damn like yeah Fucking, I didn't want to drink fucking vodka straight out the bottle I wanted to mix it with some fucking Some pineapple juice Juice! Some juice! Juice!

By the way, mimosas, baleenies Mimmi up, belly baby I'm ready for fuckin' all of it, dude Mimmi up, belly baby Hell yeah Yeah Or like even a sangria I feel like that's like old lady stuff, but I love it

Dude, and then like Like, someone, I remember once I think actually it was a family guy joke Or maybe not, whoever They were just like, oh, hollowed out sour actually it was a family guy joke or maybe not, whoever, they were just like, Oh, hollowed out sourdough with a dip in it is gay. And I was just like, What? That's the best way to have dip! Dude, plastic bowls are trash!

Dude, come on, stop doing this. Dude, honestly, the bread bowl up there would fire. As far as like invention yeah like the wheel yeah fire yeah dip in a bread a sourdough bread bowl breaking off a piece of a bowl and dipping it into the thing that the bowl is holding and then eventually the bowl goes away and the dip at the same time I mean magic it's honestly pay top dollar in Vegas for that kind of shit that's something that only like like a genius could have come up with like you have like

J-Robert Oppenheimer and then or Robert J. Oppenheimer. You know who I'm talking about. I don't but I do earlier today Fox and he said And he said, VIVIA A FOX! VIVIA A FOX! Not Vivica Fox! He's like, where are you going to hang out with Vivia A Fox? I was like, who the fuck is that? Yeah, I messed that one up a little bit, but...

Whatever, yeah. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you because I had a dream. Speaking of your dad, I had a... PENG! I had a dream about your dad Well, technically we were all in the way you dreamt about my father. He actually wasn't in I didn't see him Hold on. So you just kept saying his name in your dream. I don't that I don't understand. Okay. No Were you moaning my dad's name? dad so

Big Frank, what were you drinking a Zima? No, what's that? I was apparently a gay beer, dude! A Zima? God, you got a lot. I've never heard of that before. You got a lot to learn. But I had a dream that we were doing a show,

and I remember looking out in the crowd, and I'm like, this crowd is not that big. It looked like there was like 40 people, and there was foldable chairs. Hell, if we ever get there, put a bullet in my fucking head, you know but like there was like foldable chairs out and Like the metal ones that you would crack over each other's heads Joey I I am very well aware what a foldable chair is and if it was metal or plastic

Wouldn't change a thing correct But we were there and we're doing the show and I remember thinking like, what the hell is going on? Like, why is it such a small crowd? And then all of a sudden people started leaving. And I'm like, what? And they're taking their chairs with them. Right?

So there's like- Were you wearing your red, your white hood? That's a joke. Yeah. That's a really good- Is that a Klan joke? That's a really a really good clan. You're only 70 years late Okay, well is that another is that a good number? It's probably earlier than that Clint's been around a little longer than yeah

But so we're on stage doing this show and then all of a sudden I noticed people start leaving and they're picking up their chairs with Them and taking them with them There's just like a hole where they like the collectible chairs that you get it like WWE shows How about I tell the story you shut the fuck up and we'll make some comments afterwards. How's that? All right drink your tea But then so they start taking the chairs I'm like what's going on and then eventually we just like get off stage Right, and then I see you and you're furious and I'm like what's going on and you're like you didn't hear that And I'm like no like why are we're all those people leaving? Where does my dad come into play right now? Oh, and you go you're like you didn't hear that and I'm like I'm like no what and you're like

My dad was in the crowd and he heard some girl talking about her boyfriend and he said yeah, right, honey You don't got a boyfriend you fat fuck And he said yeah, right honey. You don't got a boyfriend you fat fuck Yeah, and then people heard that we're like hey and then started leaving and they got up and they left because of my dad Because of your dad not because some girl a fat fuck all right first of all Not something my dad would say out loud. Maybe he would say it in Spanish in his head Well, no Spanish Spanish is way louder than English Probably louder. Yeah, probably. Come on, dude. Yeah, you can't whisper Spanish you can No, no, you could actually

No, you can know yeah you can but like Yeah, you have to do it's sexy if sexy. If you whisper, you just can't tell secrets that are like dangerous secrets. You can't, you can't whisper and not be sexy in Spanish. You know what I mean? That's yes. Because it like, you can't tell a secret, right? Because it'll just be sexy. It'll be horny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you there. Like someone's going to kill you and it's like, Oh, what? What? Yeah. You know, or they can just say like they shit their pants, but it'd be like, ay, mi pantaloni, es diarrhea. You're like, ooh, ooh, cagar. What is that?

Cagar, I believe, is to shit. Cagar? C-A-G-A-R. What was this? You went to shit. You pulled the plug on your ass, and now you shit. You didn't see my thumb? This is, isn't this in American Sign Language bullshit?

Is it? I thought it was like fuck you. I Don't know now. We need to look this up. Or is this like I think that fucking I think that's bullshit Oh, maybe it is poop. I think it's bullshit. I don't know honestly. I don't know either But someone if someone is you know hard of hearing watching this they're like, what are they doing? Yeah, how would they watch this? Oh? Captions subtitles. Yes., captions subtitles, yeah. Hey. It happens.

But yeah, anyway, so you're dead. I know nothing else in sign language. I was gonna do something and then I realized. This is something. This is definitely something. That's, no, no, no, that's everything. That is everything, yeah. No, this,

brother? Yeah. We're back. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Shannon knows sign language, so I picked up some of it sometimes. Okay, yeah, maybe we can learn.

We probably won't. But probably won't. We probably won't. I saw a video recently of Margot Robbie doing the whole alphabet. I saw that. She was talking to someone that was hard of hearing. Are we not allowed to say deaf?

I did that because I don't know either, and I don't want to like... I don't know. If anything, I feel like, again, not a member of the community, the hard of hearing community, but like... You can definitely hear easily. Deaf sounds way cooler than being called hard of hearing. Hard of hearing, yeah.

Like yo, that's deaf. Hard of hearing, I think of like hard of palm. Like it sounds like a, you know, like a... It sounds like, yeah. Hard of hearing. Like a Yu-Gi-Oh card. Or like something you have to like go get in like Zelda you know you have to go get the heart of yes before you can go into the fire dungeon You need the heart of hearing yeah exactly

Back now to go get the heart of hearing I just got to say you brought up Zelda And I want to keep talking about it, but I understand we got to move past it You know I've never played that game ever well Well, there's several legend of Zelda games joy to any say none of them You've never played any legend of the wild no well. That need none of them. You've never played any Legend of Zelda game. Breath of the Wild, no. Well, that's one of them. Well, that's like the most popular one.

I've never played any of them. Arguably most popular. It's one of the most recent incarnations, but like Ocarina of Time, Lake of the Past, you know. None of them though, none of them, zero. Very good, you should. But they're like, you wouldn't be able to play them like you can't And I guess I do mean this as an insult but like you can't be like stupid and play these games

because Because like you need to be able to like put clues for things together. What do you think of me? I think if With video games, honestly, I think you're probably a little dumb. It's not that I'm dumb You just not like a video game minded person so like you would have to like the first of all 100% insulting okay, okay? That's number one number two the difference between you and me when it comes to video games It's like you enjoy a good, nice, slow storyline.

So like Red Dead Redemption. Yeah, you enjoy being like a fucking hardcore jock and throwing fucking touchdowns to fucking, you know, Terry Holt, Tori Holt. What year do you think it is? Tori Holt hasn't been in the league in 30 years. 20 years. Yeah, like what are you talking about?

Yeah. What were you talking about? I don't know. So like Red Dead Redemption, I'm not gonna play this whole game. But Red Dead Redemption is, if I'm being honest with you, it's not like a smart game. They'll say like- I don't play that. But that's because you're all so stupid.

Like, it'll say like- That's a fucking ass. I'm just saying, like I don't mean it as a straight insult, but like a kind of curved roundabout insult. But like you'll play a game where it'll be like, go to this house and kill this person and you'll do it because you're brain dead. But like if it's just like, hey, you need to figure out how to move this person who's blocking entrance

to the fucking Death Mountain or the dongos cavern then Dodongo's cavern that's a real thing. Let me say sir. You're a genius. Yeah, IQ is Genius level because you play Zelda and you run around with a sword. Is that what I'm I now? I you're cool because you're a genius and you should get a Nobel Peace Prize because you play with You're a genius and you should get a Nobel Peace Prize because you play with elves. Is that what you're telling me? There's magic elves as far as I know there are no elves. Okay, there are humans. There's Kokiri Okay, we could go down the line of the races in the high rule low rule if you really want to get into it But I just think that you tend to your taste in video games tends to be, if we're being honest, simplistic and kind of barbaric.

Okay. Barbaric. Joey, two of your favorite games. Frankie, you used the word brain dead back there. Yeah, I did. Totally different than what you're saying now. All your taste in games is different. It's different than you going,

well, you're brain dead. You like sports. You like games where you run around and like aimlessly kill and shoot. Yeah. You know, you don't like anything with like any form of complexity or puzzle solving. That's not true. Like what? Like, no, no, no, seriously. Like fucking what? Command and Conquer.

Okay, you had a small blip on your radar. That's not true. I played that a lot. Okay, for two years, Joey. 2002 to 2004 when's the last time you played command and conquer and or red faction? 20 years Mac. No, no, I still have it on my Xbox. What do you mean? Okay? That's not answering my question within a calendar year really hundred percent. What the hell is wrong with me? I just do skirmish you could just like it's fun. Okay. I like strategy games. In that, you don't even know me!

In that regard, I will recant part of my statement, but the vast majority of the video games you play are simplistic, barbaric, and kind of hold your hand through the whole thing. Joey, play something a little out the box. You're so pretentious. Unraveled. Frank. Play a little- play-play something a little out the box. Yo, you're so pretentious. Unraveled. Frank- Play a little Unraveled.

See if your brain can comprehend fucking puzzle solving on a micro and macro scale. Listen to fucking Power Rangers and fucking Mario Party over here. Is this kid kidding me? Are you kidding me? Well, I'm just saying, like, Legend of Zelda- You collect stars! Now, you know what you're trying to do now. Mario Party. You're trying to do now. Mario Kart.

You're trying to insult me on a personal level, which is- You are doing that to me! Which is taken away from what I'm saying here. All I'm saying, Joe, is that, maybe broaden your horizons with video games a little bit. Oh, you like NHL, do ya? Champ? Way to fucking go. You're really cracking the case

You're really a fucking all you play right now is MLB the show. It's baseball Correct goodbye bing-bong. We do have ads for today Brain dead, I'm not the one who has a dad who called some girl fat fucking brain dead I'm not the one who has a dad who called some girl fat fuck in your dream you made it up yeah in your dream in my dreams in your dream you were imagining calling someone a fat fuck

and that's why you're that's why no I imagine your dad saying it and you're and it was a litmus test to see if you would want to do it yourself you fat fuck that's an insane thing that would be so fucked up it would I would never in a million years do that.

Don't do it. Yeah. Thanks for- okay. Anyway, we do have some sponsors for today. The first one being... Babbel. You wanna learn another language? Of course you do.

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That's z-o-c-d-o-c dot com slash basement. Go right now. Okay. So if you got a little something going on, you want to get a checkup or you got a little something going on, zocdoc.com slash basement. Enjoy. And listen, although I may not be a doctor, I got the cure for your Sunday blues baby. And that's more of us.

The basement yard, go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. Folks, we gave you guys a couple of years ago, a task with getting us to number one on the Patreon charts and boy, you have not fucking disappointed. We are on our way. Thank you so much to everyone. Everyone that has gotten us to over 30,000 patrons. It's not fucking banana sandwich. Joey don't answer. It is banana sandwich. So thank you. And for those of you uninitiated, what you could do is go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and sign up today if you feel so inclined, if you're nasty that first year you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that next year you get exclusive episodes every

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If any of you freaks and ghouls out there are coming to any of the basement yard experience shows and you submit answers to the questionnaire, listen, these shows that we do, we like them to be interactive. All right. There's a portion of it where we want to talk with you guys. We want you to talk with us. We pulled someone on stage at one of the shows. We call people out all that stuff. You can be kept anonymous if you want, or you can just talk with us during the show if we so choose. So go to thebasicvideor.com slash submit, make sure

you answer the questions, input what show you're going to, and it's going to be a good old grand old time. All right. Thank you guys so much I'm throwing it back to my co-host right over there Joe Santagato That was flawless it was it was good that was pretty Give me more than good great. Thank you. Brilliant. All right, not going higher than that. Come on Anyway, we do have to talk about The big beef right now Yeah, we have to talk about the big beef the big beef yeah

Yeah, who's big big beef? No, I know what you're referencing. Yeah, and it's not Kendrick Drake. I was gonna say it's so funny beef. A lot of beef. There's so much beef right now. Quavo Chris Brown beef. Yeah, Quavo Chris Brown beef. Beef. There's... J. Cole, Kendrick Drake beef. That J. Cole is like, I don't wanna be in this beef so no more beef for him.

But Drake and Kendrick are down for beef. There's so much beef with so many rappers and then on the other side of it. We've got Taylor Swift beefing with the big beef herself Kim Kardashian. Is she the big beef? First of all, she used to have a big beef. A lot. But she got it, she shrunk down her beef. Joey. Joey. Joey. What? I'm talking about her butt. She shrunk her butt? Yeah she shrunk her beef. Her butt beef? Yeah. What the heck? You remember back in the day when Kim Kardashian was like that's clearly a that's fake butt beef. That's fake butt beef. Yeah. They shoved some horse meat in there.

Exactly. Really? That's not butt beef, that's horse beef. Let me ask you a question. No. So then they cut it open later on and they took some of it out because she's like oh this looks a little addictive, it's too much beef. Wow.

So now it's a smaller beef. She had to get rid of all those clothes. She had to get rid of all those clothes. I'm sure she's okay. Yeah they don't fit no more. I'm sure she's okay. Those are probably custom made clothes. People aren't built like that. That's not normal beef. That's wild beef. They don't make clothes for beef like that. That's crazy beef, honestly. The beef you're referencing is between Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. AKA Mommy.

A lot of people refer to her as Mother or Mommy. Something like that. And Kim Kardashian. Right. Now, it is funny that there's like all these rappers that are fucking beefing with each other Yeah, and then she's just like I'm gonna drop a fucking diss track Yeah, Taylor Swift on her new album called like the something about poets the tortured poets the tortured poets department I think it's called that The tortured poets department if it's department that is fucking hysterical I'm pretty sure it's department Alright I'm looking it up right now

The Tortured Poets Department The Song of Paul's Malone is good It's department right? See? I'm a Swiftie Department Is so funny Because it's not funny the word beef that I love to use them now. Because just like, you think of a department, you think of like a part of Target, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Department of Education. Exactly! This is the Department of Tortured Poets. But yes, so she released a song... Called Thank You Amy, but in the title everything is lowercase except the K the high and the M. The word Kim. So Kim Kardashian, Miss Beef. Miss, whoa hold on, Miss Beef? I explained this. She's got a she had a big beef back in the day. Oh you're referring to her as the poster child for beef for back beef.

I mean she is Queen Beef. She's Queen Beef? She is. You have your Queen Bee in Beyonce and then you got Queen Beef in Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Okay, all right, here we go in here. So Taylor Swift put out this song and she was basically like, yo, you fucked me up for a bit there, but look at me now. Well, so I looked into this and.

Oh my God. I have. Before you explain, just so you guys know, Frankie doesn't know anything. I don't. About pop culture. So the fact that you looked into this and now you're going to tell me about it Yeah is excited. Okay. Yes, and I think I actually got a pretty good job. So this actually starts Yeah back at the 2009 MTV VMAs, correct where Kanye what it's now an infamous clip yeah, Kanye West, it's now an infamous clip. Kanye West, as Taylor Swift was accepting the award for best music video, ran on stage, took the mic,

and said, hold on, Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time, I believe it was the Single Ladies video. Which is an iconic video. It's a good video. It's a great video. It's a great song. Great song, great video. Great dance.

Yeah, this thing. This, ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh. Yeah. You know? And he, you know, that was a big thing. You know, like people like, Oh, this is the downfall of Kanye West. Like you can kind of like, you could look at like the part of like where it started and say like bingo, bingo, bongo. Yeah. But then he put out, he put out dark twist of Fanny. I said, I know it was fire. Honestly, Kanye's music after... Wrong. Okay. My Dark Twisted Fanny was fire. Okay. I like, I think two songs on there.

Crazy, anyway. Okay, well. Move it along. I'll be honest with you, I also only know two songs on there. Correct. So. So, um, started there. Beef started there.

Then, a couple years ago, in a song that Kanye released when he was married to Queen Beef. Kim Kardashian, Queen Beef. started there, beef started there. Then a couple years ago in a song that Kanye released when he was married to Queen Beef. Kim Kardashian, Queen Beef. Was called Famous and in the song he said, hold on I got- I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex. I made that bitch famous.

I made that bitch famous. Referencing, first of all, Taylor Swift was on a meteoric rise she was she was already famous as shit you belong with me was a fucking certified Bippity Boppity Boop at that point that was also years before famous came out way before but I'm saying when the VMAs thing happened oh yeah yeah referencing you made her famous because of that clip right right right which is off yeah it's not not that is mother don't speak of mother this yeah we're not I don't want this to get

confused I like Taylor yeah yeah and also I have nothing against Kim Kardashian you know she's Queen beef she's she's she's great yeah you know we support all women there's probably a few that I don't support yeah I don't know what they are right now like Joey's not a few that I don't support, but I don't know how they are right now. Joey's not a big fan of Ava Braun. Neither am I. I don't know why I specifically said- Who's Ava Braun?

She was Hitler's wife. I'm not either, just putting that out there. I don't even know that. But, and then people were like, oh shit! Why would you say that about her? Because it's wild to say on a song like I'm gonna have sex with this woman. Yeah. Like I could still, and then I did my research Joey.

Okay, let's see if you get this right. They released, they said that Taylor Swift agreed and they released a phone call on International Snakes Day which was pointed out by Queen beef herself International snakes day some shit like that. We got a chill with that by the way You don't need a day you're lucky you're still allowed on this earth I agree don't need a day. No like apparently earlier in the day She had acknowledged it was international snakes day and then later released a clip of the phone call where she's reportedly agreeing to the line being used. Right.

Saying like, oh, it's tongue in cheek. It's okay. Bop bop, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. But this reportedly made Taylor like hide because she was getting attacked because people thought she was a liar now Can I interject? Yes, sir. I believe that she knew that he would say that line of like I think me and Taylor might still have sex But he left out I made that bitch famous

So I think that was the part that she had like an issue with so what I read was that later on There was something that came out that was an extended version of the call or whatever, but it basically showed that, although she agreed to a portion of the line, that part of the line, she didn't agree to. So then... Doctored footage. FAKE FUCKING NEWS! Fake news. The Queen Beef is playing Queen Games. Royal families play games. Joey. You could have just went with chess chess Wow That's good Queen's chess. Come on. Yeah, that's good Queen's Gambit. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah, they play chess in there Yeah, the whole show is

But now this new song comes out Taylor's just like yo there's like a bronze statue of you yeah of like fucking and then Taylor so it says some shit like what was that shit she said she's like something about she I changed your name and blah blah blah so it's like she's confirming that like, yo, I'm talking about Amy, but Amy's not your name. Your fucking name is Kim Kardashian. Quickly be. She didn't really make it hard for people to figure that out

when the letters K-I and M. That is such like, like. That's like a third grader could have come up with a better fucking puzzle. Sorry mother, but you knew what you were doing. I think that I've sent Frankie a post-it in third grade that said like, I like capitalized like the word fuck. Like the word like fuck, yeah.

I just wrote like, I have to go to the store and then tried to send a curse word. Yeah, also none of those have F, but whoops. You know what I'm saying. But like, what? Now what happens? Yeah, do they just- Because also, let's be honest, the biggest loser here is Kanye. He's all- he just made Kanye Yeezy porn.

Oh, he said he wants to make Yeezy porn. No, no, no. He said he's making it. Oh, he says a lot of stuff, though. He does. What's your favorite thing he said lately? Lately? Within the last five years. Okay, I know know you're walking to Yeah, I don't I don't know like like

What it's beef dude, and it's on site probably no way. It's on site has to be Who who do you think wins that fight? I think Taylor Swift might kick her head off I don't want to Kim Kardashian small, but she's got a lot of oh She's got fucking power. She's all yeah, she's Queen beef brothers. Come on Yeah, you don't get that name like Mike Tyson would have been at a certain point in time King beef 100% He's like a little fucking she's bobbing and fucking weaving. Yeah, me you know her dad helped fucking OJ dodge some fucking time Yeah, you know she's in the fucking yeah She could probably leave some shit up and leave, but if Taylor Swift's like keeps distance because to me She's like six foot three. I know she's not but she feels like she is okay

She kind of just keeps her distance She could probably like hold on to Kim Kardashian's head like this and just pass this is like if if like Joelle and bead were to fight like Mike Tolbert like Mike Tolbert like Mike Tolbert That's a crazy pull. Oh my god This is what I imagine like Taylor's got to have a good like two feet on her I thought she's got a jab. I've never seen Taylor in real life up close I've seen her in real life from across the stadium. Have you at the check game? I was there she was there

Oh, that's right. She was there Jets chiefs. I've never seen I saw her I never say it was granted it was a quarter mile away, but I saw her did see her did breathe her air The technicality of what you're saying is there it checks out it does But if she had a cold there's a non-zero chance that you could have eaten it I can't confirm how tall she is right, but She looks like she's at least six six. Mm-hmm. You know, she isn't She's probably something along the lines of like 511 taller than you. That's crazy. Yeah

You'll be green. I'm not five. I'm 510. No you ain't Joey. Okay, here we go. Bye. Bye Six five six, that's crazy Kim Kardashian's gotta be five eight What bro she's five two the odds on this on fan dude She's 5'2". The odds on this on Fandirl are gonna be insane. She's got 9 fucking inches on her. That's crazy. That's a crazy reach. Dude, 9 inches is like...

That's a big cock length of height. That's 9 inches, brother. That's right there. I believe that's 9 inches. I think that it could be more. It probably is. But... Yeah, dude.

Just like... We don't want to see two women bring each other down I hope that they handle it amicably or amicably or amicably or shut up amicably amicably yeah or Have people step in as representatives for them to fight Travis Travis Travis Scott Travis Kelsey Travis Kelsey, this is your time. Who's gonna fight for Kim Kardashian? It's not gonna be Kanye.

It can't be Kanye anymore. Who she got over there? I don't know. Who's in her camp? Look it up, Pete Davidson, that's the only most recent one I could think. Travis would tear his head off. People get liars.

Look up who Kim is dating right now. Oh, Odell. What? Yeah, she's dating Odell. This could be the biggest event in fucking football and pop culture history. Have Odell fight Travis Kelsey and winner wins the beef war.

Winner becomes queen beef. It's the beef. The beef belt is on. It's the beef belt is on the line This is the dumbest episode we've ever done well recent history well, we've done some pretty dumb ones I'm gonna choose to ignore them though. Okay Yeah, but there's a lot of beef in the world right now the beef belt will be on the line Yeah, I think this could be a billion dollar, and it could be hosted by the Basement Boys. Listen, Kim and Taylor.

We're sorry if you were offended by anything you just said. First of all, we didn't offend. We're fans of both. Very much so. Yeah. But if you guys are looking to make any investments, we are open for business. That's all I'm saying. We're in the beef business is what we're trying to say.

I think this is... We're trying to get in. We're trying to get in, right? This could be huge. It could start... It's starting as like a small little idea right now. Brinky dink idea. But it can grow into something massive.

Let's talk about scale. kind of like Tom Hanks Humble beginnings simple approach To just capitalizing on stop it popularity and then it could be iconic think of beef battles USA as A paper view you're gonna tell me you wouldn't want to watch that you wouldn't want to watch Kendrick Lamar and Drake box beef it out And maybe they don't have to box just beef in some sort of it could be a beef there could be Queen the Queen beef belt

The big beef belt which is for who's that for? Have super heavyweights. Well like you can have like speaking of beef. Did you hear Meg the stallion is getting sued right now? Because she like watched they made she made her cameraman watch her fuck some woman or something in a car. Yeah, I saw that that's crazy Yeah, you don't force people to do something. Don't do that guys. It's simple. It's very easy. Even though. I knew this is where you were going. I'm just saying, even though. Not saying me.

Say it, say it. I'm not saying me though. Who? Could be anybody. Anybody, yeah. I think there is a portion of the world that would just be like cool with that. But if you're not cool with that,

you shouldn't be forced. You shouldn't, you should not force somebody in that situation. But it sounds cool, but that doesn't mean it is cool. That doesn't mean it is, absolutely correct. It sounds cool to be like, look at that. If you are a hardworking individual and you're being forced to watch somebody else engage in any form of coitus. Right. Not okay. Not cool. Don't be forced. Even though that it sounds like it might be

all right. It's not all right because some people like the beach. Frankie hates the beach. I do. I do hate it. So like you know what I mean? It's about if, because some people like the beach. Frankie hates the beach. I do, I do hate it. So like, you know what I mean? What if one of the undercard bouts on the Beef Brawl USA pay-per-view card. The big beef battle royale. Could be Lizzo versus Meg Thee Stallion. What does Lizzo have to do with anything? She was allegedly forcing people to do sexual things too. That's true.

Who is that? Wait, why would they fight each other? Why not? Okay. And then you could put in like... Who else has beef? Everyone's got beef. Me and you.

Me and you beef it? We'll beef. We should beef. We should. We have to. I feel like all we do is beef though. We do be we beef a little bit We beef a lot of bit a lot of minutes our stick be for only our stick is beef a stick is beef You know it's a

This episode is not for them. Cheers! This is for us. This is the dumbest thing ever. Ow! You bashed my teeth! Are you bleeding? You bashed your teeth into your- I bashed my tooth on this. You bashed your teeth into your teeth! My teeth in my tooth while we're talking about beef sticks!

He bashed his teeth into his teeth! Talking about beef! What?! This is the dumbest fucking episode ever! Oh my god! This might be my favorite episode ever. I knocked my tooth with my tea with my teeth while talking about beef. Oh god, I'm covered in tea.

Whose fault is that? You also spit on the ground. You're lucky we're revamping. Oh, you spoiler bitch. Shit. We're gonna revamp. Yeah. We'll figure it out. We have some sponsors. We got one more sponsor. Only that's it.

Only one more for you fucking peasants. I'm sorry. What's going on with him? I think that hit a nerve when I hit my tooth. Yeah. You hit the- what? There was like- cool. We do have a sponsor for today.

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That is F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash basement. All right, enjoy. Go crazy. basement, alright? Enjoy. Go crazy. Anyway. Where do you go from here, you know? I'm trying to think.

Think about what? Where we go. Oh no, yeah. Where do you wanna go? I don't know. You don't know? Why do you say it like that? Are you lying?

Yeah, why? I said I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Oh. I did I don't know. Yeah. Oh. I did write down Costco guys. Yeah. You know, you ever see those two?

Yeah. The guy and his son? Yeah, yeah, yeah. AJ and Big Justice. Is that their name? Yeah. Damn, that sounds like superheroes. Well, yeah.

Big Justice and his sidekick, AJ. People are like, they're starting to like, challenge our love for Costco because I'm a fucking big Costco boy. I like Costco. Dude, love Costco. I like it and sometimes I'm like, okay, like I just want a jar of mayonnaise and it's like, here's a barrel. Not only, forget that, I want a single thing of ketchup. I don't want a suitcase that includes ketchup ketchup relish Fucking mustard just give me just one ketchup. Yeah, they get a little crazy with the size

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if you guys have seen this on tik-tok But it's like a guy and his son and they go in Costco and they're like we're Costco guys, of course We fucking you know, whatever bake it. What is that? I don't bro First looks like a big bread stick. It does look like a big breadstick. I would love to eat it would you yeah? I am gonna go further and say I wouldn't and I'll tell you why I Once had a hot dog at a Sam's Club, and I almost died and there's a serious true story Why I just I went to a Sam's Club in West Haven, Connecticut I know I know probably not the best place to go and get a fucking hot dog

but There was a Sam's Club right by my college and I went and I got a fucking big fat hot dog Were you going food shopping? Are you I went bought some stuff. I actually think I bought a pillow or two You bought a hot dog when you were a pillow hunting Yeah, But I went I ate the hot dog and my heart was racing immediately after I took my last bite. Does this thing have caffeine in it? I don't know dude but I remember I was with my friend Melissa and I was just like holy shit like I can't calm down. She's like what do you mean? I was like my heart is racing like I was sweating. From a hot dog? From a hot dog.

And you know how I love hot dogs. We all love hot dogs. We all love them. So it hurt me, but you know, I made my way back around to fucking. But that's not Costco. Costco has good samples. Bro, the last two times.

But it's not Costco branded. I guess some of it is Craslow. Is it, are they still doing that? They do do samples. They didn't do samples for a while during the pandemic That's probably why they're back the last two times I went I'm like, where's this sample people dude? I would go up first of all if I didn't take a sample I thought the person like would react like I was gonna spit in their fucking face. I agree if they're like you want to try this

I'm like, I'm okay. They're like fuck you. Yeah, they're not they don't care, but I'm taking all samples It depends like there are certain samples. I'll crush I like things That are like, you know, the little cup that usually put ketchup in yeah But they put like a little like something like a dumpling like a piece of a dumpling. Yeah, I like this I like carrying it around. I like when they do little cups of like coconut water or something Yeah, and they're like and I just throw it back like I'm in fucking you know college again Yeah, you know but oh god. I love Costco Costco Can you get multiple samples or is that you know that's like we I mean the people by us didn't care

We would go around and around oh you were treating it like a fucking Chinese. Yeah, why the fuck does it matter to them? They don't care. They got to sit there and they're not like I mean they got it They got to shell it out to the people and try to sell it you can't just give it to you because you you want A fucking buffet, you know, this isn't golden corral. I'm not kidding There have been occasions where we have gone to Costco hungry and like left like satisfied Who is we my wife and I? Yeah Yes, what are you guys feeling for dinner? You want pizza you want Costco samples? Who is we? My wife and I. Yeah, yes.

What are you guys feeling for dinner? You want pizza, you want Costco samples? I swear to God. And some of the best food I've ever had was in a Costco sample cup. You need to get out more. Yo, you ever see those cups that I'm talking about? I know, the paper ones, you can open them apparently.

When I saw that, I was like I was like yes butterfly him open pussy All of that what yo your dog stinks like shit, bro before bro He sucks right now farted before and I was like what is happening? Yo, he smells awful. Do you not bathe this dude you bring him to get fingered but not fucking bathed first of all It doesn't get finger. Don't say that out of contact. Do they put a finger in his ass? Yes That doesn't it's for medical reasons. Yeah, okay. I'm sure now. Why you get it done, too That what you know yourself. He had an anal gland leaking thing I don't know why happens wild that that happened that happened to you happens the dogs Frank stupid. Oh

Sorry that that honestly there I'll be honest with you for a split second boy Yeah, well He does he was he's been farting though, and I don't know why yesterday I didn't even I gave him what did I give him I did give him a little piece of pizza earlier Oh, you know what it I didn't give him pizza. That was a joke. No, no, it's not that cuz he wouldn't be farting that up already Excuse me. I don't know what he could have Eating I'm trying to think if he ate my food recently and maybe that cuz usually sometimes I'm just gonna say this

I'm just gonna say I'm just gonna say this I already know you're gonna say if you bring this fucking dog here Have him not smell like shit. That's all I'm saying. We are the talent and as we're recording We need to be on our fucking a game. Okay, Frank We just talked about B for literally 47 minutes If that's a game I don't what is B game Beef game beef game the beef games the beef games the beef games now We make Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift race each other. So it's like the Olympics the beef games dude, I Mean come on who's winning that race sponsored by

beef jerky Slim Jim's Who's the other company Jack links? They got they got beef sticks. Yo, they beat the shit out of Slim Jim though. I Don't know about beat Slim Jim's peaked in the 90s that's what I mean like they're like beef links kind of I'll say I love a good slim gym babe isn't like Sasquatch they're like mascot Jack links yeah yeah you believe in Sasquatch probably not no the fuck no but I've heard it's like a species yeah Sasquatch is the name of the species you're talking about big foot you're

talking about Bigfoot correct yeah no. You're talking about Bigfoot. Correct, yeah. Like the guy. I think I believe in like a Sasquatch species. Like I've heard stories of them just like hiding in trees. Like my dad thinks, does. You don't need to follow up with anything. I know my mind has been made up

about whatever your dad thinks. My dad thinks that Sasquatch travel through portals Well Joey like I said you didn't need to elaborate on that I had made up my mind he really does think that I don't know where I stand with like all these like mythological Like animals and creatures in our world like I don't lockness world. Like I don't, Loch Ness Monster, maybe. I don't care. I'm not going to swim in a loch, you know?

Although that would be really cool. What is a loch? It's just a lake. But Scottish? Yeah. Really? I think that's where the term lake comes from. Loch.

Yeah. Now I look it up. The Loch Ness Monster is probably fake. And also probably dead even if it was alive. Yeah, no, this is just giving me the like scientific definition of what a lake is. I don't care. But, Chupacabra.

What's that? That's like a Spanish demon woman? It's like a Spanish, no. It's like some Spanish... That's... It's like a... Demon woman? It's like a Spanish... No. It's like some animal that like sucks blood from like goats and stuff. It's like a big bat. The Jersey Devil, don't know if I believe in that.

Is that a thing? Yeah. You never heard of the myth of the Jersey Devil? No. Yeah, where do you think the game came from? It's a little devil. But the term Jersey Devil, Joey, come on. You really, I have to educate you multiple times during an episode?

Because I don't know mythological demons? I would hope. And also, so much for you educating me, you're googling. It's a mythological creature that has haunted the woods of New Jersey Pine Barren since the 1700s. Oh. All these things are dead, bro. They're not 400 years old. I mean people say that stuff like this still happens today Well, they'll find like a there like a cow of theirs dead and it has been drained of all of its blood overnight

Do you remember when we were kids and people found a dog? No, do you remember down the dumps? I remember the dumps We had an area in our neighborhood growing up where we just called the dumps, which I don't know why, but it was just like a very industrial part of town. Yeah. But remember the Hills? Yes. So the Hills, I heard that there was people that would gather there.

Like weird people with like whatever and they were like burn shit and effigies and shit? What is that? Just keep going And then someone found a dog that was like cut open and like nothing in it Like all its organs and everything were like taken out like a sacrifice Like I was like what? So I never went down there I was mad scared

That's why you became big YouTube because your parents sold their soul for you to become big YouTube boy No Yes How did you get there from that? That's what happens to these like demonic people and stuff like that. Is it like they they will sell they'll be like I'll give you will sacrifice the inorganes of little fucking this dog and then my next born son will be a- Humiliation ritual that's the one I keep seeing now.

Humiliation ritual. You never heard of that? No. What the hell is that? It's like this is why they put guys in dresses is humiliation ritual, that's the one I keep seeing now. Humiliation ritual? You never heard of that? No, what the hell is that? It's like this is why they put guys in dresses, this humiliation ritual. What? Yeah, like in movies and shit,

like dudes would be like in Big Mama's House. Great movie. Yeah, like. Honestly, probably not that great. It's probably a super okay movie, but I loved it back then. But like even John Cena recently at whatever that was, the Academy Awards maybe, where he came out naked. He was naked. And I was like, what's the point of this and people like it's a humiliation ritual

Like he's selling his soul so that he could like be more successful Yeah, John Cena needed all the help in the world. Yeah to be successful. So you got to put on this dress It's a humiliation ritual For that money, I'll fucking I'll wear a thong right now, dude I so I don't know if I believe in this stuff or not. I hope you don't. Jim Brewer recently, listen, listen, Jim Brewer on a podcast recently said that he talked

to Chappelle back in the day. And he said that Chappelle said to him that people visited him. So Chappelle was like, people came to me to try and correct his behavior or something. And it like scared him and eventually he left. Not coming from- What does this mean?

What does that mean? I don't know. Is that like people who are running something? I don't know. The Illuminati, the lizard people. Something. I don't think the Illuminati is like an actual thing like that people think it is.

But I do think there are people who are like, yo, we made the decisions do it this way or like you're fucked You'll never work here again or blah blah blah. All right, so then like have them hit us up. I'd love to be a billionaire Fuck what the hell you need me to put a dress on dude. I'll get fucking real tits shoved in I'll just send them the fucking patreon episode of us in drag and be like done Done, we already did it. Yeah, you know what people are gonna think if we ever become really successful that was our humiliation ritual when really it was two idiots sitting in a fucking room being like this would be fun yeah and it was it was a very good time honestly the eyebrows was not fun I didn't like getting my shit glued down yeah that

wasn't really like awesome but you you know, it was cool. It was cool. A lot of makeup though. Honestly, big respect. Oh my God. Big respect for the drag community. In addition to the societal beating that they have to take from people that think that they are trying

to brainwash people, also the physical parts of it that are very difficult is a lot of respect too. Yeah, probably. But like a drag brunch, I haven't been to one because I'm too scared. I'm afraid I've said it and I was afraid to go I feel like I look too straight. You are I'm gonna get ruined your day. You would get like in this straighty up here Let's make them do a day. Yeah, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm afraid I am afraid because like they'll have not afraid I will never recover from a straight like a Drag brunch. Yeah, cuz they'll flame you. Oh my god crazy on destroyed. Well

Yeah, I'm going crazy. Yeah, right. My wording is off He's a little chill makes less makes it sound a little too nuts. Yeah, but yeah, we should do that though at some point This year go to a drag brunch. See what happens I'm gonna try and why don't we just hire drag queens to come here and we have our own brunch and they just roast us We should do that though at some point this year go to a drag brunch see what happens I'm gonna try and why don't we just hire drag queens to come here and we have our own brunch and they just roast us I don't because i'm afraid and now i'm trapped and I am going to get roasted I just want let's hire three drag queens for one day to come here and we just sit here with mimosas And they just stand there with a mic and a camera and just destroy us I think that would be an incredible page. If you guys want to see that.

All the drag queens are going to hit us up now like yo. At 35,000. And drag kings, and drag kings. That's right at 35,000 patrons. Maybe we'll do that. Also 30,000 patrons you were supposed to do Muay Thai boxing with Josh. You made that up.

He made that up. No. He said, yo, tell, tell a fucking. Proof. Where's the proof? The group chat that I'm in that Josh wrote that in. He said, yo, tell a fucking- Proof, where's the proof? The group chat that I'm in, that Josh wrote that in. Show the people. Whatever.

Show the people, exactly. He was supposed to fight our editor Josh at 30,000 patrons, and now 35,000 patrons, maybe we'll do that as a little drag brunch. That would be so- We'll all go. Or we can have it here. No, we gotta go to a place. We don't, they need a microphone. They got a whole thing that they do. Oh, no, where will they ever find a microphone?

fucking loser Whatever. Anyway, that is all for this week's episode. We appreciate you guys so much Thank you so much and like Frankie said go to the basement yard comm slash submit if you are coming out to the shows We want you to fill out these forms so you can be part of the show at some point. It's a lot of fun if you've never been to a show which most of you haven't because we're coming to different parts of the country that we only had three shows. So thebasemanyard.com slash submit fill out those forms and yeah we'll be super excited to see you guys on the road. You can go follow me at Joe Santa Gato and all platforms and the show at the basement yard Where can they find you?

KevAlvarez and 85 on Twitter, DeFrankAlvarez and all their forums social media and then the basement yard every single goddamn place That is all see you guys next time