The Basement Yard - #452 - Put Us On The Food Network

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

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Welcome back to the base. Welcome back. Sorry, I was doing welcome back to the basement yard. That's all welcome back to the basement. Thank you. Why'd you clap? I clapped for Josh to line up the audio. It's a it's an industry move, Joey. I'm becoming big podcast boy.

I know. First of all, that's like not just podcasting. It's anything with audio. But you remember you had the opportunity to actually use the slate and you bitched out I was a little afraid we were on the set for the door dash shoot and The girl who was the director was like oh and he goes oh is that the thing and she's like yep Do you want to do it? He's like no. Yeah, I was like you bitch. It's just you know when you what it's like what's the Close your hands for God's sake

Sorry, I'm freaking out holding the world It's like the idea of like, you know what the Joker said in a dark night It's like a dog chases a car and then when it catches it doesn't know what to do with it Same same concept here me and the Joker No, that was Guys are docking While that people might actually do that but what I mean they have to there's a term there's doing. You guys are docking? No, no, no. Wild that people might actually do that. But.

Well, I mean, they have to. There's a term. There's like a coined term docking. I wouldn't, I mean, I'm not gay. So I wouldn't get like. I don't know that this would ever make anyone happy. That's what I'm saying. Like, who does that work for?

Yeah, I don't know. That's weird. But as I was going to say, I just, you know, like I crumbled in a little bit of pressure. I did a podcast, Stash Club Wrestling, cool dudes. I did their podcast and afterward they were like, hey, do you wanna like review the episode? And like, trying to be like professional,

I was just like, oh, no. Like, I don't care, you know? But, yeah. I want- What the fuck does that have to do with the slate? I wanna help be professional here. Oh, oh, oh. Also, we didn't plan this. Green boys?

I'm olive green because I love olives. You're mint green because you had mint in your drink. Mint in my drink? Yeah, remember we went to that restaurant together and you had mint in your drink and I took it and ate it? Joey, they put a fucking bushel of mint in this drink. I took it and ate it. Joey they put a fucking bushel of mint in this drink. Yeah you were eating it like a fucking- It's delicious you don't eat mint? Brancosaurus what's those things called? Brachiosaurus. Brachiosaurus. I know it was a bee. There is a bee

in there. Brancosaurus honestly might be a dinosaur. I can't believe you bitched out of the slate though that's very disappointing. I will get another opportunity in my life. Hopefully Yeah, I mean we could get one in here. I'm gonna slam. She had a good one though. It was like metal Yeah, it was metal and also it kind of had some like wear and tear on it Yeah, which you don't want like a knee a new clean looking one Yeah, you gotta beat it up you one that looks like you know You want one that looks like it's it's it's been to Vietnam and came back different probably a different more, but yeah Yeah, no No It's been to Vietnam and came back different. Probably a different war, but yeah. Yeah. No?

What'd you say? No. Anyway, I had an interesting night last night. Stumbled accidentally into a gay bar. Oh, hold on. Type, type, type, type, type. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. First of all, you're-

Because I knew this was gonna happen, go ahead. You're not beating the gala-gallegations here. I'm definitely not. And I also was thinking while I was in there, I was like, if anybody in here recognizes me, there's no way I'm beating the gay. Oh my god first of all yeah, you've lost the gay allegations Like you're losing the battle like you're you're right. You're not winning the war because as soon as I say like no, I'm straight It's like well, that's okay. That's what gay people. Yeah exactly. You know the DL exactly

Yeah, is that a're DL. Exactly. DL, is that a term for you guys? Down low, Frank, come on. I don't know. See, you even know the terms. Did I tell you one time I was out to dinner and I think it was for Ahmed's birthday and the waiter at the end of the night when we were leaving, he was like, he said, gosh, I want to let you know, and he was like a gay guy.

And he's like, how do you know all those terms? And I was like, he called me off guard. And I was like, he called you out. I was like, I don't know, I just got gay friends. I don't know. Do you have gay friends? I mean, I just, you know, most of it came from Pat from Barstool.

Oh, gotcha, yeah, that makes sense. He like went through his grinder and they categorize it by like legitimate body types. It's like you can search for otters or like jock and. Scruff, twinks. Scruff. I don't know. I imagine that would be one.

Bear, I know bears are one. Yeah, those are like hairy, bigger dudes. Yeah, I have friends that are, you know, gay. And the way you said that. Sorry. But anyway. There's no disdain behind the way I said it. I know. But hold on, so. Yeah, stumbled in. St disdain behind the way I said it. I know.

But hold on, so. Yeah, stumbled in. Stumbled in. I was, I went to a bar. The name didn't give the place away because sometimes these gay bars have names where it's just like, okay, sometimes they don't. They're a little kind of ambiguous.

Well, it wasn't called gay bar, come on in. Well, you know. It wasn't called that. I'm sure there are some where it's called like you know buckle me down. No. No. No. It was uh there was one actually one time we were like looking this was way back in the day we were looking for a bar to watch uh-huh like in the city to watch a sports something so we're like sports bars in the city okay and there was one called boxers. And we're like, oh, what about this one?

And then you look into it. You're thinking Boxers like fucking like this. Yeah, but it is a sports bar, but it's a gay sports bar. The sport is fucking tonsil hockey, with cock and balls. No, but I think it was called Boxers because I think someone said like the bartenders

are just like in their Boxers or something. But there was one time, I was at a bar next door to that. That's not fair, you can't be a sports bar, that's like my name. Boxers. Yeah, my name was sports bar ping pong balls. Yeah. And it's like, oh, it's a ping pong themed bar, but it's just. That place is. Shaved white balls.

Bro, that place was jumping by the way. Yeah. Because there was a bar next door to that that I was at one time and I was like, oh shit, boxers. Like, remember that story, blah, blah, blah. There was people like, it was packed. Anyway, so yesterday like, oh shit boxers. Like remember that story, blah, blah, blah. There was people like, like it was packed. Anyway, so yesterday I ended up at this place. The name. I was gonna say, what was the name?

Cause that should have given it away. Just so people know the way I ended up at this place, which not gonna lie, I don't feel uncomfortable going to gate bars, but I feel like they don't want me in here, you know what I'm saying? No, they do want you in there. No, you know, but they don't want me in here. But they don't want you in there as like a sleeper cell. They don't want me in here. You know what I'm saying? No, they do want you in there. No, but they don't want me in here. But they don't want you in there as like a sleeper cell.

They don't want you in there as like undercover. Yeah, you know what I mean? You know, whatever. But I was at a Broadway play and then I was just looking for food. So I went, there was a bar around the corner. So I was like, all right, we'll go here. And I walked in because I'm like,

I'm thinking it's a divey bar, right? Because it looked like that in the pictures. Yeah. And then when we're walking up, I can hear a lot of music and there's like, not a crystal, not a crystal ball, like a disco ball sort of, but like lights. Yeah. I have, you have to slow down this story

because I have so many questions. Go ahead. So just to be clear, you went to a Broadway show and then stumbled into a gay bar. Okay, one. Two, that had a visible disco ball. It was invisible. I mean, I did see the lights. Two, what was the music that was playing?

I don't know. Was it Ricky Martin? No, no, no. It was like a... Beyonce? No, it was like an EDM version of some popular song that I don't remember, but... Okay. Yeah. Go on. Continue. Yo, actually, when I was at that place, they played like this like techno remix of Fortnite by Taylor Swift and the shit was crazy.

I took out Shazam, but it didn't find it. Fortnite? Yeah. It's off her new album. Oh, okay. But it's like her and Post Malone, but there was like an EDM version I'm like yo this shit. Okay again you're you're bearing the lead here because I have a feeling it's going to be kind of self-incriminating. No no no. What was the name of the place? So that's the thing right when I looked at the name I'm like this is whatever I wasn't even thinking gay bar at all then when you get in you're like oh this is a gay bar at all. Then when you get in you're like, oh this is a gay bar. Then you're like, oh the place that the name was called, The Dickens. Isn't that funny? I was like, oh

I'm thinking Charles Dickens. I'm like, there might be a lot of books in here, but it was like Dickens. Like Dickens. But see, but see you, you're, that's, that's. Dickens butts. Dickens. Dickens. Dickens, Dickens faces faces and butts That was wishful thinking on your end because Charles Dickens. Oh, I don't know you think there's a bar named after Charles Dickens There's a bar for everything in this city But then also if there was you think it would have a disco ball and be playing fucking EDM It was too late. I was already drunk. You were already a little drunk. No, I wasn't. You were sober! dudes

Sober thoughts. I had one I had a beer at the play I know you though in your in your old age now You've gotten to be a little bit of a like a lightweight with your alcohol intake No, I got in and I was like, oh, this is and then I noticed there was just only dudes sitting at the bar and I was like, oh, this is a this is a gay bar And then I was like, okay. Okay. Now I have follow-up questions Yeah, I know you stayed for a couple drinks because you're not a you're used to be like, all right. I'm here it's good vibes. The drink menu is what I

Talked to you about because they had Names. Okay, give me what the drink actually is like before I say anything the standard name before I say anything Before I say anything. What was the theme? What do you these questions mean nothing? I mean, I'm wondering if it's called no thing and it's like a great expectations They have a drink called ms. Havish am like give me walk me I don't even know what those words meant. Whatever you just said meant zero to me. There was no theme It's just a bar. Okay, so I walk in right and then I'm like by the sorry

This is what I wanted to say you remember a few episodes ago when I said the gay or a drink is the better it is way better The drinks at this place were phenomenal, of course, let me go to the next of course, so I'm looking at Dude by the way, you didn't need to tell me that I would have assumed Let me go to the next. Of course. So I'm looking at... By the way, you didn't need to tell me that. I would have assumed that they were the best drinks you've had in a while. Crazy. So they had a drink called Drag on Top.

Got it, hold on. Yeah. So obviously they pour something on top of this drink. Not everything's a riddle. Maybe just let me talk and you're like, got it, wait. I'll tell you the fucking ingredients dick, okay? Drag on top that's dragon fruit syrup. Well. Where do you see that? Nowhere, I love it love it love it love it love it love it lemon grass gin

I don't even I love gin and I love lemon and grass. I'm okay with And there was lemon and then some other shit in there I think egg white, but it was it was a cool drink. I didn't get that one egg white they have one called blowing bubbles whose bubbles that's what I'm saying I don't know yeah yeah but then they had one it comes in like a tiki wait what was in blowing bubbles tequila orange liqueur and like I don't know I can almost guarantee that's what Joey got no I didn't get that okay then they almost guarantee I got this one, I didn't get that. Okay. Then they... I said almost guarantee. Let's make that clear. I got this one because I thought it was the funniest.

It comes in a Tiki cup. Love that. And it has like a dude's, not a dude's face, but like that. Like a... That's not a dude's face. That's like a... What's the shit called?

Like a, what's that shit called? Oh, man. Fuck. It's escaping me. Not a talisman, not a... Bro, the fact that you pulled out talisman is insane. But what's the thing? I know what you're referencing.

It's like a thing of like, it's like they're stacked. Yeah. And then they're like one full, and they always spin in video games and stuff. What? Stacked Tiki pole. Tiki totem. Tiki totem.

Yeah, so it looks like a Tiki totem. Okay. And there's red banana rum. Oh! And then like a bunch of other stuff. It's called a rum job. Yeah. Okay. That's really. So I was like I gotta get the rum job. Obviously get the gay sounding one in here. You were not, I swear. It was incredible too. Oh dude that sounds unbelievable. And then I got another one, I forgot what it were not, I swear. It was incredible too. Oh dude that sounds unbelievable. And then I got another one, I forgot what it was called, I think it was called like Montero or something. Which is Lil Nas X's name. That's right, that I knew. And that had mezcal in it and that

shit was fire. Now I have to look up like gay cocktails because. Why? I don't know. Nah, but it was a good time. It was a good place. Also I will say this, went to the bathroom in that place, a dude walked in, went to the stall, took a piss, didn't wash his hands, just walked out right by me. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? It's a bar, babe. Oh, maybe he just like went like this? Dude, you gotta wash your hands if you get a piss, right? In a bar? In a bar, yes. I mean, you know.

We're not in your apartment. We're remembering pre-COVID bars though. You have to put yourself in a different mind state. You know, that was... people didn't do that. I'm sure there were- Wash their hands? I'm sure there were times you went into a bar pissed and just walked out. Never.

Joey. I wash my hands in every single bar. At home, different story. You're gonna tell me every time you've ever been into a bar and peed, you've washed your hands every time. Yes. Mostly because of, there's people in here. And I don't want anyone to be like,

a guy didn't wash his hands. A judge man says, hey, I want to see you. Which is what I did to that guy. He walked out and I was like, bro. You got pee-pee bar hands. You know what I mean? I mean, people went like pee-pee bar hands. Whom?

Maybe he needed better grip. On what? That is something I won't be able to answer. You probably, if you looked around, you might have been able to get the answer. Yeah, no. Honestly. That place played bangers, by the way.

Of course, dude, of course. I mean, the only gay bars that I've been to were in New Haven, and they were gay. Like, they were like, oh no, that's not true, Key West. Key West. Key West was gay, I mean. That was in a, that was in a- The guys had their dicks out.

No, and like, people like- It was our gay friends bachelor party. You think, like, people think like, oh the guys had their dicks out No, and like people like it was our gay friends bachelor party think like people think like oh they had their dicks out like They're walking around in speedos. No, they're no no no no no the bartender had his cock out like out No, I couldn't see oh also out like just You know like when you're standing in a shower how naked you are just like just not wet at a bar As far as I know. Completely dry naked man, serving me Miller lights. Literally, literally just like, let me get him.

What do you got? And he was, and I told this, we've told this story on a previous episode, but for those of you who don't know this, like one of my friends is gay, he had a bachelor party and we're like, oh, we're gonna go to Key West. So let's go. And we found this bar, and then in the back,

there was a door that said boys only, I was like, that's where we gotta go. The front part of the bar was gay. Yeah, it was a gay bar. It was like a dive bar. But the back part, it was like a backyard with a pool, a stage. A stage, that's right.

Sand, a lot of sand. They had giant stilettos. You you might have like stiletto seats. It was a And we were at the bar and the bartenders Facing the other way Serving people because it was just like a square bar so you can go all around it So he's serving the other way and his ass is out and he has like it looks like a jock strap on so I was like Okay, ass out, but then he turned around like dick out. Yeah, it looks like a jock strap on. So I was like, okay, ass out. But then he turned around and I'm like, dick out too. It was just a belt.

He was wearing just a belt. It wasn't holding up any pants or anything. It was just wearing a belt. It couldn't have been holding up, physically couldn't have been holding up less. Not yet. It was crazy. And then he turned around and he was still a bartender.

So he was like, what do you want? I was like, yeah, like a very, like just like casual, like what do you want? We have Miller Lite. I was like, can I get eight Miller lights? He's like, okay, I got you. Yeah It was pretty nuts, it was pretty nuts Not pretty nuts. Yeah Yeah, but oh well good for you now Are you gonna be like accidentally stumbling into any other gay bars?

No, but if I do I'm going right to the cocktail list because they were phenomenal. Ah, dude. Duh. It's great Well good friend also, you know, I'm not kidding The music in there was fire like like they were remixing popular songs But I've never heard I'm on Shazam and the Shazam is like, you know, I don't know what the fuck this is So there's some fucking hidden You know DJ going up and putting these songs on that are brand new or some shit. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I've ever listened,

I guess at the gay bars that I've been to, but like I imagine a gay DJ just has the fucking bangers. I don't know if it was a DJ or just like a playlist or something, but. Either way, I mean. Also had a grilled chicken sandwich, it's pretty good. Covering all bases here, You're getting a drink you're getting food and you're getting Give it a full review. You were also getting probably I fucked dude. You walked in and like you were like no relax I'm just saying you know like

People go to gay bars that people go to bars to meet people there. They're fucking talking to each other. No one's like, oh, look at this guy. Joey, you're being modest here. I'm not being modest. You're being modest here. Maybe people look at you and you're like, oh, maybe he's coming to try something different. Maybe bat from the left side of the plate.

I see what you're saying. New euphemism, baby. No, that's not what happened at all. But had a good time, had a good few cocktails, so. Good for you, good for you. Did you happen to, this is a weird segue because I have no other way to segue into it. Did you happen to see the Tom Brady roast?

Going from one, from a gay bar to maybe, maybe Tom was hanging out a gay boys You never know. I could be feel like you we would know Would we I think TMZ would know would they? Bro, I watched enough of the morning show to know that people could pay to get things buried I've never watched an episode of that as a kid. You should watch it. Yeah, it's pretty good show. Okay, I Like it. Wait, did you watch it? I watched some of it It was a mess, dude Okay. I like it. Did you watch it? Uh, I watched some of it.

It was a mess, dude. Also, it was eight hours long? What was that? Yeah, it was mad long, first of all. Second of all, Netflix is clearly just throwing every fucking penny that they have to just make the most, because people watched it. It was like an insane turnout. I forgot what the exact number was,

but like, it was a live roast. Dude, they did it in a stadium. Dude. And they, well, first of all, they had like the biggest names there in comedy. I'm sure there are bigger names that weren't there, but like you had fucking like Tom and Burt were there, pretty big names in comedy. Kevin Hart is a fucking megastar. Kevin Hart like usually hosts them, I think.

I don't know if he usually does. He's done a couple. Yeah. But I can't say like usually, but like the last roast they did was of the Jonas Brothers. They did that? Yeah. You don't remember that? No. Yeah.

I thought it was weird that like these people don't even know Tom Brady. Dude. And they're roasting him like that's mad. And they're also being like, your wife's getting drilled right now. And he's just like ha ha ha dude You could tell first of all he came out in an interview and full-on said he regrets doing it, bro

You could tell with him sitting there Cuz like he got torn up and I mean there were some jokes about like you know Tom Brady Cheating and stuff like that. You know, like Randy Moss's whole set was, which wasn't very good. No. But basically was just about like, why didn't you cheat when I was there?

Like I, we didn't win and then I left and like, we could have cheated well. Yeah. But, 85% of it was not good. Yeah. I couldn't really watch a lot of it. For those of you guys that didn't watch it, Tom Brady went through a very public and open divorce with Giselle Bunchen. And basically it was not like said, but the story is like, she was like, listen, I've taken over duties of being

a parent while you played football like stop retire Yeah, and we can have our life together and he said no, I'm gonna go back went back for one more year They didn't do well one like seven games. Yeah, they went seven to nine. I think was their their actual record and Left them as a result. Yeah, and then everyone got up there I was just like your wife's getting drilled by a fucking jujitsu teacher or whatever the fuck yeah also like it's one thing if like You're a comedian or like an actor in a comedian comedic space Like remember was like the Rose of James Franco and then like all his friends are like Alec Baldwin

You know like at least there there's that but it's like, you know You're just Tom Brady who plays sports and shit Not necessarily like a funny dude or anything And then you have these people who you don't know who are comedians just tearing you apart like I would be uncomfortable, too I would rather people who know me. Well, I mean like they had some people there that knew him like I had like, you know They had Gronk Julian Edelman was there. Yeah, you like some people, but like, bro, if you are not thick skinned to be in that setting to begin with, do not ask people like fucking Jeff Ross, bro, Nikki Glaser cooked this guy and like, it was uncomfortable to watch.

It was uncomfortable to watch. Like you can't put yourself in that setting and not expect, like what realistically, what would he, like what was he thinking? Thinking that those weren't gonna be jokes? They probably just dropped a bag on his head and that's why he said yes to it. But like he was probably like, oh people will be nice and there's not much to make fun of me for.

But then you go through this divorce and whatever and it's like, you don't have much to like make fun of Tom Brady for so when you have this thing it's like of course people are going to talk about your wife and I'm surprised no one was like you know you kiss your kids on the mouth yeah well I'm sure like kids are like off limits oh yeah that makes sense that's what I would assume. But I mean, it was. Kisses his dad on the mouth too. Yeah, that would have been,

that would have been my first joke. Yeah, I'd have been like, do you make out with your dad after this? Yeah, it's just like, your wife left you. So who do you kiss now? Your dad? You know, that would have been my first joke. But I just, I don't understand how,

like who thought that was a good idea? I mean, it was a good idea from a business standpoint. Like, a lot, everyone's still talking about it, and it was a week and a half ago. But like, he also just got, like, undressed. Bro, publicly. Ugh. And then, like, it made it worse that it was live,

because they couldn't edit out... Yeah, any of the shit. Any of it. Also, like... Ugh. Kim Kardashian was out. Yeah, any of the shit. Any of it. Also like. Kim Kardashian was there. Yeah. Tony Hinchcliffe just went and just fucking eviscerated

every person up there. Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah, no, I don't know. Would you ever really truly open yourself to something like that? Hell no. And I would be uncomfortable to even be, like some of the jokes that are made like I'm not even

Brave enough to say that tell them. Yeah, because like it's too Like someone's Well, I'm like it just happened it's not like ten years ago like, you know, I think the thing that I forgot who I think it was I think it was Jeff Ross. What are the people that were there, they had said like, it's easy when you know someone to tell these jokes because they come up from a place of like Joyful playful pain like banter. Yeah, but like those jokes since you don't know tom brady just come from a place of just like evil Malevolence, but also you know how to make fun of people that you know, you're like, you know certain things that really bother them

You know, whatever but if you don't know them you just have to pull from like Random shit that you know on the internet or whatever the fuck like this is gonna only go bad Yeah, and and and he probably he probably didn't expect that at all Well, I think there have been people come that came out afterward that were just like he was not happy like afterward he was like very uncomfortable because like no matter what, and it's also, he's out of his element. Like Tom Brady is Tom Brady

because of who he is in sports. Like yeah, if you fuck with Tom Brady on the football field, he'll come back and throw for fucking 550 yards and six TDs. But like, if you make fun of Tom Brady, he's not the Tom Brady of roasts, you know what I mean? Like he can't, like how does he like then go back? Oh, I just, I can't even imagine bro.

Like him coming off of that stage and being like, fuck that, would have been like. Yeah, it's not. It makes me like scared, like I don't wanna look. You know, oh, like you're like, it's like secondhand embarrassment is what they call it. Yeah, like I would be like oh my god get him off the stage Let's end this right now, and then when he told Jeff Ross not to make jokes about Robert Kraft Right I thought he was kidding

Apparently not apparently he was very not kidding Don't say that shit again. Jeff Ross like all right Like also Jeff Ross who's been doing this for probably 25, 30 years. I think that maybe he thought people would be like, oh, you know, your wife left you because you know, but a metrosexual or something. Yeah, but I don't, Tom Brady, why do you look like the gay version of Tom Brady? But he's got nice boots. Where'd you get him in the divorce?

Yeah. Yeah. But like, I don't think that he expected people to be like, your wife's getting fucked right now. Like, that's crazy to say. The one that I heard that was wild. And it's crazy because like, I guess you forget, you see Kevin Hart as like, funny, playful with the rock in movies, Kevin Hart. You forget that he was a popular stand-up comic before he got into his movie role. I don't think anyone's forgetting that. I mean, honestly, I do.

Like, you forget kind of like where they come from. Like you forget, like one of the reasons I think like, this might not work for you, but like one of the reasons that like I think the rock and the storyline he had in wrestling with like Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes hit so well is because people forgot like, oh, it's the fucking rock. Like he built his name off of being an incredible wrestler. But like, bro, for like Kevin Hart to come out and say like, fuck you Tom Brady, like your wife is out there getting fucking dog walk.

Did he say that? He said, fuck you Tom Brady several times. And he definitely made- Well, yeah, that's fine. I mean, it's like whatever. Nikki Glaser had the line of the night. night yeah or where she said uh it's fucked up do i repeat it yeah yeah all right who cares i'm not Tom Brady

he's not watching this he said she's like how does it feel that your wife is you can't even like the guy that's fucking your wife could beat your ass while he's eating hers yeah Yeah. Insane, dude. I'd be like, well, you know, why don't you just step on my head while I'm drowning. Yeah. Anyway, we do have some ads for today. Oh, well, okay. Is this a good segue? I don't think so. Wait.

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And Squarespace, it helps a bunch of different organizations and businesses because you save time, not only time, but you save money as well. There's exclusive savings that you can only do through the website. So not only saving time, but you're also saving some money. Rates that you can't find anywhere else, like 89% off USPS and UPS rates. Insane. So yeah, you can sign up with the promo code Basement for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free

digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts or anything like that. But if you are doing a lot of shipping, if you have a business, or if you're just someone who ships a lot, definitely use Squarespace. I mean, sorry, definitely use Stamps.com. Go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and enter the code BASEMENT, okay? That is Stamps.com. Click on the microphone at the top of the page and enter the code BASEMENT and you'll get that four week trial free postage and a free digital scale. Okay. Get it.

Stamps.com. But yeah, patreon.com. That's what I got to say. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Folks. Hey, it's Frank, Frank Alvarez, the guy that has been speaking to you about general nonsense for quite a while now. Not long enough.

Some people may say, but you know, here we are. I'm here to tell you about patreon.com slash the page, which is our account page, you know, where we give you guys more of us, a little bit of us a little sooner. And then, you know, a lot of bit of funny laughs, ha ha's he he's giggly time, good times. So go check it out at patreon.com slash the page. We thank you guys for getting us consistently breaking records. I am, we are, Joey and I talk about this often. We don't understand it. We are so appreciative of it and we can't thank you guys as individuals.

So here, a blanket thank you, blank, blank thank you, thank you. So better than the blanket that your people had made that time. Stop. So I am here to tell you about it. If you sign up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, well that's where you can get exclusive episodes every Friday morning, Friday, 7 a.m. Monday, 7 a.m. The boys are that we're here for you at the beginning and end of every week. Who wants to start the week without us? Nobody who wants to end the week without us? Nobody.

So go check it out. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. And listen up folks, listen, if you, for some reason, the P, the A, the T don't work on your keyboard, you can go to thebasementyard.com. But the T is in that and the A is in that too. So what am I saying? If just the P button doesn't work, go to thebasementyard.com and you'll find more information on us. Okay. You'll find info on merch. You'll find info information on us. Okay. You'll find info on merch. You'll find info on

live shows. All that fun stuff is going to be right there at our new, sweet, sparkling, clean website. Okay. So, uh, if you're coming to any of the shows, go to thebasementyard.com slash submit input, which show you're coming to and answer the questionnaire. We'd like these shows. We have a little bit of twists and turns and bits and bops, and we want to make the shows interactive so you guys feel like it's an experience that you get only at the show. So if you submit that questionnaire, we'll be able to use those answers. Maybe we'll talk to you. If you want to be kept anonymous, sure. We can just talk about the thing. We could call you up. You never know. So go to thebasementyard.com slash submit, submit that

questionnaire. We'll see you at the basement yard experience shows We are so fucking excited. We hope that you're so fucking excited and Keep keep keep keep your little ears peeled because there might be an announcement of something else You don't keep your ears peeled. You keep your eyes peeled and your ears open. What do you mean peeled though? Do you ever understood that one keep your eyes peeled? What do you mean peeled though? Do you ever understood that one? Keep your eyes peeled? I don't know. But like peel, like, does peeling something make it like better at seeing?

I don't know. I haven't really thought about that. That makes sense, right? Keep your eyes peeled. Keep your eyes peeled. Peeled what? Peeled open? Yeah, but, oh yeah, peel them open. But like you're not peeling them open. Keep them open. But like you have to peel your eyelids back. No you don't. Why do you just close them? Because I'm trying doing the action and trying to see like what that's

like. Hmm. What are you doing? What are you doing? Try it again. What am I doing? Oh you want me to? Oh we're doing a bit now? Ask me again. What am I doing? Oh, you want me to, oh we're doing a bit now? Ask me again. Okay, what am I? Wait, wait, wait. What do you want me to ask you? Let me get sad again.

And then ask me again, what are you doing? Okay, go. Wait, I'm not sad yet. You should keep laughing. Come on, I gotta think of something. Stop laughing. I gotta think of something sad. What the fuck did you think of?

No, see, you laughed. So I became not sad. Because you, look at you're doing. Give me a chance to be sad. When you get sad, by the way, no one's a bigger Creed fan than you. I've just come up with the conclusion. You can't stop singing it. It's so good.

All four songs of theirs that I know and really like. Higher, With Arms Wide Open. What's the other? Hold Me Now, I'm 60 From the Edge and I'm thinking My Tacker Pie. Yeah, what's that song called again? What? Six feet from the end. I'll tell you, if you give 30 second. I'm not gonna play it. I don't care

I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not why you don't care you ask the question You love picking up your phone and searching at the worst times like things that are so irrelevant Like let me figure it out one last breath. See how quick that was who cares See me. So I'm gonna be sad again. Okay. Okay, just help me. Okay, okay What's wrong I See me. So I'm gonna be sad again. Let's, just help me here. Okay, go. What's wrong? I don't. Come on, tell me what's wrong. You won't care.

You're probably right, but I still wanna know. I'm curious. Come on! What's wrong? Feed me here, feed me. What are you saying here? Like feed me so I can like. Oh, okay, ready? Feed me, feed me goodness. Feed me lines, feed me. What are you saying here? Like feed me so I can like. Oh, okay ready?

You know feed me, feed me goodness. Feed me lines, all right? Now I have to get sad again, Joey. I'm sorry. Go. I'm done. Fucking pink. What?

Fucking pink, what's pink? My skin? I'm so pink. You are. All right, go. What's wrong Frank? You don't care. No tell me what's wrong. I just heard. Nope. Just tell me what's wrong. What's wrong? We are losing an icon of the community. Which community? Ow. Fucking what community? Our community, Joey.

Oh, oh, oh. You said the community. Yeah, our community. The community. Oh. The community that we, the shared space that we fucking... See, this is why I get angry. We haven't even gotten to the point yet. What the fuck are you talking about? The news today. Stop.

Just tell me. Why? We can't get the strike if I'm singing it. Just tell me what the fuck it is. You're just dragging this out. We're on the wild bomb. Under. Red Lobster's filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy.

You did that whole thing to tell me that Red Lobster is closing? Let's all clap for Frankie's sick fucking bit. His 10 minute bit about Red Lobster. Wait, they're bankrupt? Their banks have been erupted. Their banks are erupting. Their banks are erupting. Okay with negative cash flow Yeah, apparently people don't want to go and get red lobster anymore Shocking to me it is it's not this is a bigger more important issue that we should discuss

this is the death of like local business, you know This is the death of like local business, you know? Red Lobster is not a local business. It's a nationwide chain. It's a staple of like, you know, like your life. When was the last time you had Red Lobster, Frank? Maybe like 2018. How, really?

Yeah. I was expecting like 2011. No, no, no, 2018. 2018? There's one not far from. That was still six years ago though. I know, but there's one not, I just haven't gotten the chance. 2018 was six years ago? It fucks me up, it fuck no, 2018. 2018? There's one not far from. That was still six years ago though. I know, but there's one not far from. I just haven't gotten the chance. Bro, 2018 was six years ago?

It fucks me up, it fucks me up. What? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 2018 feels like right there. Yeah, bro, 2019 was five years ago. Math. Congrats, yeah, I know. That one fucks me up too.

The pandemic, four years ago. That's banana pants. That's banana pants, right? Yeah, that's panances on the bananas. Pan, banana, Jesus. Pan, banana pants. What the hell is going on? And it's also the saying is banana sandwich.

Whatever it is. I'm just, you know, like I think this is something that is big because Red Lobster has been a staple in communities bringing people together. When you're there, you're family, but fish family, you know? That's Olive Garden. I know, but like fish family, that's like their thing.

That's not their thing. Now it could be. What is their tagline? Red Lobster. Pfft. Claws on us. No, what the hell? You don't even know? What?

Now you gotta look it up. Yeah, I have to. You just have to specify. I have to. For those of you guys that don't, didn't get to experience, and I know they're not all closing, but like it's coming to a halt.

What's their tagline? Seafood differently. But like seafood. Seafood differently. Because when you're there, you're seafood family. No. Now you're combining things. Yes you are.

When you're here, you're family. That's Olive Garden. But when you're here, you see food differently. Also completely untrue. Yeah. When you're here, you've given up. I think we made that joke on a previous episode. When you're here, it's a wrap.

It's not going well. When you're here, divorce is imminent. When you're here, mommy and daddy have been fighting a lot. Yeah, they drove separately. Did you notice that? You can't fix your marriage with breadsticks, okay? When you're here, you notice your parents took separate cars. When you're here, mommy and daddy

haven't slept in the same bed in three years. Yeah. When you're here, you often see dad in the morning walking with a pillow and blanket How do you feel about? uh couples having separate bedrooms but like in love What a stupid thing no, but like I I think that's like a thing i've heard that With people that are gonna murder each other. That's not. No, no, no. Like that they're in a happy relationship,

but they're like, oh, I just wanna have my own space. So at night we say, muah, and we go in our separate rooms and we sleep. I mean, whatever, but stupid, you know? Like. You wouldn't do that. I would never do that. Like, it's, for Becca and I, like it's such a nice thing at the end of the night

to get in bed together and like kick your feet. We kick our feet, we laugh. We full on wrestled the other night. It was fun. Sexually? You know, there's always a little bit of- Eventually.

I can't do anything without a sexual charge for that fucking smoke show, you know what I mean? Like. Jeez dude, you're gonna get all horny on me. I'm not getting horny. Also you went like this, chill out. Fuckin'. It's like, fuckin' like,

what every fuckin' middle-aged dad, like, did you guys, you know, did you fuckin' Fuckin', you know, took it to town, you know what I'm sayin'? Took it to the gas station and filled the room. This is something. Yo, that was so disgusting, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you just talked about my wife. I did, but I talked about you. You talked about me being a gas pump, my wife being a car. I think I did but I talked about you you talked about me being a gas pump My wife being a car. I Don't like that I'm only allowed to talk about her like that, okay No, I just I think this is a big like we're gonna look back like Planet of the Apes

Terminator, you know like All movies about the future you could look back and like there's like a pivotal moment ininator, you know, like, all movies about the future, you could look back and like there's like a pivotal moment in history when you could say like, oh, that was a big moment that things started to turn. And Red Lobster closing is that? I think so, I think this is the death of like, mid casual cuisine in the United States.

Cuisine. You know? Bonefish Grill on the way out. That one's a good one. Bonesaw. Wow, yeah. Bonefish Grill is also on the way out. That one is I'm okay with, because that place sucks balls.

But. Bonesaw. I just think that, like Red Lobster was like such like a place that like carried elegance. What? Yeah, it did. For like the 90s early to show you

Chillies is also closing which we could talk about if you choose, but I've never been inside of the chilies I've been inside of a chilies. I've been inside a TGA Fridays. It's basically TGI Fridays with like a southwestern Kick kick. Yeah. Yeah, like it's just like oh you want we're gonna call our fucking wings like you know Pequito pollo bites, you know like oh, there's like a there's like yeah, it's like a like a southwestern like that's why it's called chilies I Mean they just say chilies what you're saying is a chilies I say chillies Okay, the way you should say it, But I mean you don't say that. I don't know why you're...

But Joey, this is a big thing. I know you're not a big Red Lobster guy. I mean I would love to go and get some biscuits before they close. It's worth... Bro, there's the Red Lobster that was in like that like Queens, like the Queens Mall adjacent, you know what I'm talking about? The one that had like, it was like, it had like six stores. I think that's the one that I went to with you.

Probably for my birthday. Yeah. Yeah. So like years ago, you were probably turning nine. If those walls could talk. No, actually, because when I turned nine, I went to WWF New York. I was also there. Yeah. And we watched. Wow. We watched the Rock. Holy shit.

Yeah. You're getting that. Isn't it crazy? We watched the Rock return. And Test was there. Test was there and yeah. And we're like, yo, big boot me. Yeah, he didn't big boot me. Mainly because I was like- Wow, WWE New York. Yeah, you remember that?

Did you come to my birthday at Dr. Jekyll? By the way, just so you know, we have shows coming up. Joe, you better figure out talking before those shows. It ain't gonna happen, chief. Dr. What is it called? J's? No, no, no, you better figure out talking before those shows. They ain't gonna happen, chief. Yeah. Um, Dr. What is it called? J's? No, no, no. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's or some shit like that.

It's like- I know the novel. Yeah, but it's like, so it's based off of that and it's like a horror dinner thing. I don't think I did, no. No? Damn. WWF New York. That place was sick.

Remember the Mars place? Planet Hollywood? I mean, why do I even speak to you? Mars? Mars place? I said one thing. It was like a, no it wasn't called Mars place, but it was like a restaurant that was like, it takes place on Mars. You don't remember that?

I don't remember that. Now you gotta look that up, cause I have no clue. Your sister would probably remember. Cause it was like a little kind of like. I just, I feel like, yes, these chain restaurants, people like that, they're like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't remember that? I don't remember that. Now you gotta look that up, because I have no clue. Your sister would probably remember, because it was like a little kind of like... I feel like, yes, these chain restaurants, people have spoken about, you know,

maybe they're not like... Mars 2112. You don't remember this? No, I don't remember that at all. Dude, it was massive. I remember like... Look at this place. Planet Hollywood, like you walk in and it's like,

oh, it's Sylvester Stallone's jacket. Like it was like you're on Mars, but in a restaurant. No, I don't really care for that. I don't need to be on another planet to eat. I'm fine eating on this one, you fucking idiot. Or Planet Hollywood, that's the only acceptable planet. No, that's not true. But like, you gotta understand.

Families like ours that didn't come from money, these like middle of the pack, middle of the road casual dining restaurant experiences were like, that was like our fine dining. So like, we're losing that now. So now, now Joey. You just have to go to regular restaurants. It's not that crazy.

Now, shut the fuck up. Now, you either have places that are like, oh, you go and you fucking knock on a door at a bodega and you get like a fucking A5 Wagyu beef chopped cheese because now we're just completely stealing all forms of fucking culture. Or it's like these ones that you go to where it's just like, oh, here comes my fucking

deconstructed chicken liver mousse bafon-thong. And it's like, we need something in the middle for the people I mean, I don't I wouldn't say red lobsters in the middle I think it's that you can go to restaurants that aren't fine dining and those are in the middle what you're describing is I Think we're on Joey that that that Casual dining experience and local dining experiences are we're not seeing that What we are seeing is that it's hard to keep any chain going forever. What? Well, fuckin' way to go, Economist. Fuckin' thank you. Thank God we have Joe Rome here.

We do have some more ads for today. Oh, right under the ads? You're not even gonna to let me fucking mourn my boys at Red Lobster? We can get back to your mourning But we have Seakeek Seakeek if you want to get tickets to anything else Anything in the world You want to go to a concert, you want to go to a Broadway play like me You want to go to

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savings and enjoy yourself and we also have hex clad here we go folks hex clad Frankie just lit up he loves hex clad. Pots and pans. Pots and pans Frankie loves pots and pans mostly pans but definitely pots as well usually when selecting pans you must choose between the performance of stainless steel, the durability of cast iron, and the convenience of nonstick. But with hex clad, you can get it all, okay? Because it does all of that. So you need nice new pans that can do it all? You're gonna want to do it with hex clad. And it's not just us saying this, okay? Gordon Ramsay. Probably the most like... Most cook. Most cook of cooks cook Joe most cook most cook of cooks He's the most cook of cook cooks, but he's a very judgmental guy and this guy trusts has hex clad

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Get some new hex clads in there that are gonna really make you look like a chef. Oh, yeah Gordon Ramsay says so so go to hex cloud comm slash basement get that 10% off. You're welcome. Yeah. Oh man I can I can I've been watching a ton of Top Chef Have you? Dude, I watched the baking championships Have you? Dude. I watched the baking championships. Fuck that.

Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. I, like, you would love Top Chef. I really think you would because they're, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. The only thing that gets me a little frustrated about these shows though is like, they always do like fine dining. I don't like that.

Dishes, like, bro, be like, you know what? I made chicken tenders Yeah, give me a fat pizza or so dude. That's what I'm talking about like yes, they're incredibly impressive and I know like they have to kind of cook for like the chefs but like You know if it's like someone gives you potato chips. Don't make like a poivre out of it You know what I'm saying, you know, I don't even know what any of this shit is That's why I like the spring baking championship because it's just cakes. I'm gonna eat all of this.

That's why, you know what? Buttercream, fucking ganache, I don't even know the difference, but they're fucking great. It doesn't matter, there is no difference probably, but I don't care. Dude, you know what I like? They make cakes and then they have like a,

they're like, oh, this is a passion fruit, whatever, liquid. And pour it on. Well, sometimes they do that, but they take a brush and they just brush. Brush, brush, brush. And then it like seeps in. they do that, but they take a brush and they just brush. Brush, brush, brush. And then it like seeps in. I'm like, oh, I wanna eat this thing.

That's like a tres leches, like it's very wet and moist. Three milks. Three milks. Congrats. At least two words in Spanish. That's why, if you like, like that's why I fell in love. Yeah. In love so hard with guys' grocery games. He loved that dude

Yeah, this fucking guy comes out and he's just all about he's just like listen up motherfuckers You know, he doesn't say that but he's just like they should be allowed to come and they come out and they're just like yo I made a pizza dude. He'll be like, yo make chicken tenders and they'll come out and I'd be like, oh by the way You can't use chicken You know and they're fucking cooking right there Binging bang boom dude. It is such I went I am NOT being exact like I am NOT exaggerating here I watched nothing but guys guys grocery games for like a week and a half straight for like And and I was the happiest I've ever been in my life food network is

The best channel on TV because you you don't gotta deal with the nonsense and stupidity of other shit. But every show is good. Yeah. There's no show that I'm watching and I'm like, this sucks. Like everything, when people are making food, you're like, fuck.

Because you'll get like Guy Fieri coming in and he's like, all right, dude, we're gonna fucking throw barbecue sauce on here and just fucking big old fried nuts. And it's like, yeah. And then the next show will be like, welcome to Barefoot Contessa. And we're gonna like enjoy a little sip of wine

while we make some roasted artichokes. And it's like, they got range for all of that shit. Both of these, absolutely. Like mostly, I like watching baking shit because I'll eat all of it. Like sometimes you get- Like the cooking. Yeah, like the fine dining stuff that they do,

that's a little tougher, because I'm like, one, I don't know the entire ingredient. Yeah. You know? And it's just like more so for like show and it's like artwork, which I can appreciate, but like not for now. I'm not gonna be filled up, dude.

Yeah, I'm sick. Maybe fill up food, babe. Also, there was a show, I forget the name of it, but they pair a chef with with an architect or some shit. And they build cakes that are animatronic. Dude, I like the cake ones, but I feel like I would feel guilt. Like, what was the one?

There's so many cake shows now. And honestly, cake shows gotta take a fucking backseat to cooking shows. It's a lot. But they'll make something and it's so beautiful. And it's like, I don't want to eat this. I just want to stare at it. You know, like there's that guy on TikTok

that makes like fucking deer out of chocolate. Yeah. That's a good, I don't know. I don't want to eat that. I just want someone to be like, you know what I made chef? Here's a burger. This thing is spitting as fucking much as it could.

Yeah. You know? And then Guy Fieri walks over with just Guy Fieried out and he's just like, this got fucking finger licking donkey sauce on it. You know? Yeah. That's what I want. Yeah, dude.

I actually love those. Cause like all these French terms, they mess me up. Yeah. It makes me feel less, less than. And I want to see something and be like, you know what? Like I've actually seen ingredients and been like, yo, I'm going to go get those and be like, you know what, like I've actually seen ingredients and been like, yo, I'm going to go get those and try to cook some stuff.

You know what's actually good? I forget the name of it, but it's like this one guy, his name is Noah cap, by the way. No, no cap. That's kind of, he knew what he was doing. He, he goes to carnivals and tries all these like different carnival foods. And some of them are just ridiculous. Oh, it's like, here's a waffle. You're going to dunk it and you put sprinkles, dunk it again. these like different carnival foods. And some of them are just ridiculous.

It's like, here's a waffle, you're gonna dunk it and you put sprinkles, dunk it again, and then breadcrumbs, dunk it again, deep fry it, and then syrup, and I'm like, bro! You're into the sweets, you're into the sweets. And I appreciate the sweets, but like, I want the savory and the salty more than the sweet. Of course, I'm talking about just get some flavor, bro.

I'm talking about like, look. Slow down, slow down. Get a bunch of different things. I appreciate it. just get some flavor bro. I'm talking about like look. Slow down. Slow down. Get a bunch of different things. I appreciate it and they do desserts in Guy grocery games. They cover all bases. They do appetizers. They do entree. They do dessert. Bro, I chopped. I was trying to put on uh diner. What is it? Diners, drive-ins, dives baby. So, I went to go put that on like the new season but it played from the very first episode so about it

glasses on Today I'm gonna fuck. Yo he stops at a place that it's a Shack mm-hmm on the side of the road hell yeah, and they make like barbecue And it's just like one fridge, and there's one lady and her name's like Tabitha no, it's like Dylan or something like and her name's like Tabitha no it's like Dylan or something like you know I think I saw the exact one and you you're talking about and she like an old white woman right yeah well she's not like that but like she makes like these ribs and whatever and like people just show up and she's making these ribs and I'm like this doesn't look up to code at all but I'm into that I was so into guys grocery'm telling you, I'm telling you, it will change your life if you just sit and watch. Because it is so good. Also, they had an episode,

because one of the celebrity chefs that came on did pass away and they did a fucking tribute episode of him. Bro, it pulled me in all emotions. I was hungry, I was horny, I was excited, I was fucking sad. I was waiting for sad. Horny for food, horny for sad. I was waiting for sad. I was like- Horny for food, horny for food.

I should have specified that. But, man. I love those fucking shows, man. Oh, God, dude. And just for the record, if any TV execs are watching, because we know how much you guys do watch. Please. We can't be on them.

What? Dude, it's like- I'll be a guest judge. That's what I mean. Oh, yeah, I'll be a guest judge. It's a goal of mine to be a guest judge, but I also feel like Because when I watch the shows and they have like ooh celebrity guest judge

and Then like a part of me is like what the fuck is this Actor gonna say to a chef like here's Patton Oswald. What do you think of the wash? Oh, good thing I think that if you just cook the chicken a little longer they'd be more like flavor and they're always like respectful they're like yes yes i think so thank you i would be like listen pat shut the fuck up like i'll make the food you make the movies that's it yeah absolutely absolutely but i

would take it mad serious i would take it bro i would take it mad seriously. I would take it, bro, I would take it so seriously. I'd be like, honestly, there is a really good balance of texture and I can see there's enough of the fucking. People just, oh, you know what they say? They go, I wish I had a little more almond. A little more. I wish you gave me a little more almond. Yeah, I love when they do that because it's like,

we never would have known there was almonds in it. Absolutely not. You know, but like a little more, give me a little more. But also like, I feel like a lot of those, like the actual chefs, because I only know people that are in that industry. I don't really know many chefs, like, but I know people that have worked in it.

And they say like, it's all ego. Like it's all like, I am the best. And like a lot of those, like competitions, the chefs will say something. And it's just so out of control and people will just be like, yes, well, I thought that too. So I was gonna say it, but I didn't because you said it first, you know what I mean?

My favorite is like when everyone's going around the table and then it turns into American Idol where like, oh, I think this is great, this is great. And there's one guy and he's just like your buttercream is loose or something like it's not good you know like yeah you know it was and it's like fuck the or the the one that where they go like they'll be like you know what I think and it'll like big day like the music and it's like I think it was wonderful and it's like

Yeah, like there's like okay. All right. Thank you so much. Thank you chef. Yes, chef. Yes The chef is like a cult thing. Can we say that people that work in the food industry? It's kind of culty bro, you remember the fucking restaurant we went to and they were all like in unison like I was like I Started cheering up, chanting along. Cause if you've seen the menu, you know why that's like. Weird.

Sort of triggering. But we were sitting in a restaurant. Mind you, I've never heard this in a restaurant ever. The other one that we heard was in Austin, Young P. Oh, Young P. shot in the city, yeah. But that was so, yeah, they're like greeting people. But this one, like every so often you hear like, Concentrate, it's a whole site!

And like, I was like, yo, what the fuck is happening? No, I know what it was. They were saying, they were saying, plating, and then they would respond like, ready to plate! Like it was like shit, like it was fucking like, military camp. Like they were like, plating, plating, plating, plating! You know, it was like, oh fuck. Yeah, I was like. It's gonna waiting You know, it's like oh, yeah I was like it's gonna be triggering for some people Jesus dude. Yeah. Oh man, dude go

I'm telling you you want to make your week turn around if you're having a bad week or a bad day guys grocery games diners drive-ins and dives good to I love when they have like a burger or something and then they, there's so much on it that they have to stick to, pikes. Pikes? Spikes. No, what's the word? Yeah, either one, either one is okay. Pikes.

There's something about it that's uncomfortable. Toothpicks. Toothpicks but toothpick, tooth, tooth, tooth. Yeah, these are like. Skewers. Skewers is the word, dude. Pikes. I mean a pike is like what they put like heads on

in Game of Thrones. Right, okay, yeah, so it's like that. So it can work. Yeah, but I love that and you're like, oh, this is gonna fall apart, be messy. I know, I know. Or when they just like, they take a bite of something and it's just like, it's an explosion of flavor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that's what I'm talking about. And you're like, there's no way you're gonna keep that sandwich together after the third bite. Yeah, hell yeah. And it's just like, and then they get upset and there's like, it's falling apart on me. You, if, a well put together sandwich has never done well for the world. Yeah, no, it's gotta fall apart.

It's gotta fall apart. Yeah. That means that there's- That's why you gotta eat on a plate and get a little fuller. Yeah, no one likes like, I shouldn't say no one, there is a place for like neat and tidy food. Yeah, but- People like that.

I have a problem with tomatoes. They're too slippery. Okay. No people like that. I have a problem with tomatoes too slippery Okay, no because like I have a problem with tomatoes due to you, bro And tomato tomatoes are like they're they just they run away when you try to do them They do run it like bothers me because the rest of the sandwich wants to stay and be a sandwich Well, no, it depends on the layering. It depends on the layering I know but when you bite into it the tomatoes like I'm out of here. I'm trying to slide out I'm like, well get back. I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking help you here all right and it's a new tactic that I recently have taken okay.

I make burgers. Where's the tactic? I know that you're about to like give me this long-winded thing about how you put the tomato somewhere else. Where does it go? So save me the, spare me the fucking time and the long-winded, so I do this and I do that. You put the tomato where? Underneath the patty. I just saved everyone a fucking 10 minute rant

about you put it under the patty. Thank you. And that's a good idea because the roughness of the patty. It keeps it in place. My holder. It keeps it in place It's also you also need to be careful where you put that lettuce and what type of lettuce are you shredding the lettuce? Are you doing leaves of lettuce? I would rather shred it because Leaves are those are another ones that they start slipping and sliding people put like a mayo on something or a ketchup

I mean we're putting lube now on an already slippery thing. It's fucking all over the yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. Oh, food, man. Food. Food, brother. Put us on a... Yo, you know what I would do to be a judge on a show? And I won't do anything crazy. I'll just tell you what's good. No, no, no.

Here's the thing is we're not going to come and be like funny jokey ha ha's. We're going to be so fucking serious. Oh yeah. Like hyper serious. Like, oh, okay. I, you know, oh, okay. I, you know, like umami. You know, like I'm ready.

By the way. Don't know what umami is. I know. I do now, but I thought it was an ingredient. I mean, there are ingredients that will elicit umami. Did you ever do the science experiment in like sixth grade or something where it's like you take Q-tips with like different flavors on them and you put them on different parts of your tongue? Because your tongue literally is sectioned off to get flavors better or worse than other

parts. I have seen that. I haven't done it though. Do it. It's fun. I've seen like the diagram of like sugar, salty, sweet. Yeah, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just Do it. It's fun. I've seen like the diagram of like sugar salty sweet. Yeah, I think yeah Yeah, you just try it. It's it's a mommy It's kind of like yeah

At the gay bar there was another drink called you poppy Just be a little careful. Okay. Oh mommy. It will just a little careful. What are you worried about? Well, umami is a typically from like Japanese Cuisine so much just be a little careful. Why oh do I sound Japanese? You miss I was trying to sound like a may interpret it as like you're being like purposely offensive Oh, I was trying to be like a horny girl like ooh mommy, which why would she be saying? Well cuz she could be gay dude, oh yeah call back why I started with the gay story Yeah Well, because she could be gay, dude. Oh, yeah. Call back! Started with the gay story. Yeah.

Maybe if it was like a lesbian Hispanic couple. Like, ooh, mommy. Which they exist, so yeah. Or it could be, you know, just like, I don't know. You know, I don't know. Could be anything. Could be anything. Anything at all.

Anything we accept at all, we're cool with it all. Anyway, I think that is all for today folks. Frank, where can they find you? Hopefully on the panel in the next Grazzi's Grocery Games. Oh my god, we would do anything. Dude, we would be so fun. I'm just saying that. I just want to eat a bunch of stuff that... Or dude, like, can we call him Guy? Are we on a first name basis with him? With Guy?

Yeah. Fieri? Fieri? Or Mr. Fieri? Yeah. I mean, I don't know him. Mr. Fieri. Yeah.

If you happen to just be in the neck of the woods of, you know, Jersey, New York, his general area. If you ever get desperate to have a guest. If you're ever looking for people that could also say like that's bomb-tits donkey sauce You know Well, I promise you we'll give you good like we'll give you good footage I will make up terms. I will show up dressed like you

Frosted tips and all he'll have his sunglasses on his head I'll have mine behind his head behind the head yeah with a visor and we will have good names for these sauces oh man it's like the saltiness the balance of flavor this is some big titty nipple sauce you know yeah like this we were here mr. Fieri yeah, you guys can follow us at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. Go to thebasementyard.com for all tickets. There's still some tickets available for Frankie's late night show on his birthday in AC, July 27th.

Shit, I forgot. July 27th, you can go get your tickets at thebasementyard.com. The Late Show is still there. It's gonna be a lot of fun. We're super excited for that. But yeah, and also if you're coming to the shows, go to thebasementyard.com slash submit,

fill out the form, send it in, and we'll see you guys out there, all right? See you next time. On Diner's Drive-Ins and the Basement Yard.