The Basement Yard - #460 - How Vanilla Are You?

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, that is a lovely hat you had on. Thank you so much. It's those new Santa Gata Studios brunch club hats, baby, that are available now at shop.santagatastudios.com as well as our new brunch club t-shirts.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Wow, look at you, you're plugging away. I be plugging, you know? Plug it, plug it up. What are you saying? I don't know. Yeah'd be plugging. Yeah. You know, plug it, plug it up. What are you saying? I don't know. Yeah. Plugs. Right.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Anyway, guys, by the time this comes out. We don't know. You will have known that we decided to do. You know. You definitely know. That we have a second show at Radio City. Ah! Crazy.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Was that your reaction? Huh? Oh, now I'm boring you at Radio City. Ah! Crazy. Was that your reaction? Ha! Oh, now I'm boring you. Radio City's boring, fuck you. Been up since four, bitch. Oh yeah, children. No. I got up to go to the gym.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Nightmares? Got up to go to the gym. Most of the, oh! Gimme that, gimme that, baby. Gotta get after it, gotta get after it. Just wait till Poppy pops out. Too much, who's that? You, I'm Poppy?
Starting point is 00:01:04 Yeah, if you pop out like Poppy, what's up, bitch? Oh, I didn't know I'd be Poppy like that. Of course, I mean, I can't, look at me. Well, oh, is Poppy because I'm Hispanic? Right. Gotcha, so how does Poppy be poppin'? What? What am I gonna be poppin' out?
Starting point is 00:01:18 What, what, Poppy be poppin'? No, I just mean like, you know, pop out, like you poppin' out, like I'm here. Poppin' out where? Like just like, on the, like in life, like I'm poppin' out. But I be, I don't need to go to the gym to be poppin' out. I be poppin' out. Asping out where? Like just like in life. I'd be popping out. But I don't need to go to the gym to be popping out. I'd be popping out. As I'm saying, I'm popping out this summer.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I'm popping, you know what I'm saying? No. I'm pulling up, what's up? I'm not pulling up. Frankie. I don't know that you know what I'm saying. I don't. I'm saying, I'm trying to compliment you
Starting point is 00:01:40 and now you're making me. Thank you, thank you. Scrambled eggs, I'm getting scrambled eggs in here. Yeah, well. Anyway. A child's way of eating eggs. I'm getting scrambled eggs in here. Yeah, well. Anyway. A child's way of eating eggs. Can we throw that in there, right? I'll get back to you on that. Radio City, we're doing another show
Starting point is 00:01:54 the day after tickets went on sale October 2nd. That's not true, the show was October 2nd. The tickets go on sale, whatever the fuck this is, July 10th. July 10th they went on sale, but you can get them at thebasemear.com or on Ticketmaster if there's some left. We hope there isn't.
Starting point is 00:02:14 By the time you're watching this, we hope it sold out. We do finger crosses. We do this. We're saying it anyway on the show because we're scared. Yeah, we're not sure, honestly, because things have been a little crazy. I heard you. There's a squeak in there.
Starting point is 00:02:29 You're like, a little crazy. A little crazy. Try to make the squeakiest noise you've ever made in your life. Ah! That's fucking, that's good. No? I'm gonna go higher.
Starting point is 00:02:45 I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try and go, go loud though, go loud. Give me a loud. Don't scream. Hold on, don't do that. Okay, go. I can't, it's because it's so tight. Ah!
Starting point is 00:03:01 Ah! That sounded like a balloon. A big balloon. It did. And my throat hurts. Mine too. I got like a vibration in the back of my neck and I don't know if that's good or bad. You got to tighten up those vocal cords in order to... Go, go, go.
Starting point is 00:03:18 You're letting too much air out now. I know. Okay. I don't know if I... I hate this. You gotta have it. Okay. What? I don't know if I- What? I hate this. Also, I just remembered that people are listening and they're probably not happy.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Some fucking awesome guy who got us, by the way. What'd he say? Tweeted at us like, next time don't fucking scream, you lost subscriber. See ya. Fucking nerd. If he didn't leave last time he's definitely Bye-bye. Yeah, you know
Starting point is 00:03:50 Anyway, yeah, go get the tickets to base me our comm there's no pre-sale code or any of that Just go get your tickets To show to Radio City so that you know, we can Don't know what is that? What is our lives? What's going on? Lose our mind a little bit more. I haven't, so I woke up at 4 a.m. I'm trying to get after it, you know, trying to be more healthy
Starting point is 00:04:10 because I have been eating quite a bit of hot dogs. Right, things happen. Things happen. Oh, it was the 4th of July, so it was a hot dog eating celebration. Extravaganza. I actually didn't have one on the 4th of July. There wasn't any afoot.
Starting point is 00:04:21 You know, I'm gonna start. Rosé though, Rosé though. You know, I'm gonna start Rosé though Rosé though You have You're a fake dog sucking season supporter you What? I'm just calling it how I see it bitch. No, how many hot dogs have you had this year? Oh, you think I'll keep it count? I yeah, I hope you would over Over or under 10? Over 10. Really?
Starting point is 00:04:46 All right, I recant my statement previously. Yeah, I almost threw this thing at you. I wanna make sure that... I had like three at the game with you? Okay, not enough, I had like eight. I also went to a football, a baseball game not too long ago. Dogged. Dogged it up.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Dogs are life, honestly. So I just wanted to make sure because I Know last year you were just like oh, I didn't I didn't I'll be having a lot of salad I had a bad season last you did have a bad season last year. It was it was your off year This is a contract year, so yeah, I got a step in a numbers to get that fucking free agent contracts exactly Did you watch the hot dog eating contest? Of course I watched it, dude. I actually raced home to watch it.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Where were you? And why were you not fucking pre-gaming the hot dog eating competition? I was, you know what I did? I went to a crumble cookie. So you, all right, so you put some form of garbage in your system in order to watch other people put other forms of garbage.
Starting point is 00:05:44 I'll be honest with you Kind of addicted to that shit now hot dogs or crumble cookies or both. The answer is yes The answer is yes Affirmative, but there isn't any I've never had a crumble cookie. First of all, they're not cookies. They're cakes Yeah, just big literally one of the things that were in it was like a strawberry short cake. It came in a little pan. I don't care for strawberry short cakes. This thing was wet.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Like a fucking, like a wet cave. The moisture content in which a strawberry short cake might bring with it does not depend on if I am supporting it or not. Strawberry short cake, don't care. It's like icing? There was like a- I don't, you're not going to convince me. I said I don't care it's like icing there was like I don't you're not gonna convince me I said I don't care fuck you it's not it's it's the lowest they had a cornbread one stupid Frankie stupid Frankie cornbread is not a cookie and
Starting point is 00:06:36 nor shall it be cornbread is mid at best well you sounded old saying that no but you you that's the whole point of these ridiculous cookie places is that you make... What do you do? Get a chocolate chip? Gars! Yes. Get that anywhere. Why?
Starting point is 00:06:55 Why? Why must you? Why can't you just go get a good... How vanilla are you? Call me Vanilla Joe. You're vanilla. Chocolate chip. With my cookies, with my cookies, I'll be Vanilla Frank.
Starting point is 00:07:03 That's completely fine. Chocolate chip, don't get me started. Don't get me started on snickerdoodle. Don't get me started on snickerdoodle. Don't get me started. You know what? You might disagree with me on this one. Cinnamon raisin, a very good cookie.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I like cinnamon. Cinnamon is incredible, an incredible. Includable, includable cookie. Hit me as hard as you can with your hand. No problem. But yeah, no, I love cinnamon, but like, I don clad-able go again. Hit me as hard as you can with your hands. No problem. But yeah, no, I love cinnamon, but like, I don't, raisins are just like. I like raisins.
Starting point is 00:07:30 They're like not good. That's crazy. You're turning your back on grapes after they've been dried. You're a big fucking wine guy, but the moment that they fucking lose their, you're a fat shamer, that's what you are. Fat shamer? Yeah, well no, I guess that would be the other way.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Grapes are fat. Grapes are fat. So you're a skinny Shamer That piece of shit. I feel like there's a better name for that grapes are just fucking I mean raisins are just grapes on Ozempic That's all it is. No, they're just like old Like I like grapes raisins look like my my grandma's knuckles. I'll tell you this though right now White raisins do look like old women's hands just just even the other ones I can look at a raisin you're like this looks like a old I'll tell you this
Starting point is 00:08:11 I've looked at an old woman's legs, and I've seen raisins. You know what I'm saying. What is it about old white people's legs? That's so bad, dude It's just like once they hit a certain age blood just stops flowing below the way and then what their legs turn into a deli meat What is that? It turns into like you know like in the 90s how they had those like monster balls that you like squish and like an eye pops out and like you could see veins. Yeah. That's what old lady legs turn into all the time. I don't like it. It's just weird. They start to look like a... their veins go into a white chocolate bar. Yeah their veins become like you know like a fucking radio wave. I don't want to see that shit.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah, it's very squiggly. Ladies. It looks like a hiking trail. Oh, does it look like an app? They do. It does. What is that? It does.
Starting point is 00:08:54 I don't like to look at a fucking topographic map of the Rocky Mountains and be like, that's my grandmother's legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like it. I mean, I do think that people who are above 80 years old deserve to wear shorts because it gets hot for sure. Absolutely not. But I don't I don't want to be around. Take shorts from all old people all of them No
Starting point is 00:09:12 It's like it's like we're staring at a Jackson Pollock painting How are Spanish this is crazy, how are Spanish old people's legs? How are they get there's no hair on them no hair hair, well I don't think that old people are hairy. There's some old hairy people. Oh, it falls out, dude. No. Or it just gets like stringy. Well, so like I'm thinking of like my dad
Starting point is 00:09:34 because although he's only 63 years old, his body is aged like milk in the sun. Right. He's like internally, he's like 98. Okay. And his legs basically, he has like, you can count all the hairs he has left on his legs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:51 And then there's just a part where he had his boots that it just like shaved away at his skin. So it's just like fucking baby smooth. So he's got like a smooth like where his boot was? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like his stirrup, you know what I'm talking about? Okay, but you know that. So how many times have you pet your father's feet?
Starting point is 00:10:07 I've not pet them. I've seen them. But you said they're smooth. That's a touch thing, buddy. You kinda caught me there. I'm not gonna lie, honestly. I know, you guys are- I've touched them by accident.
Starting point is 00:10:17 You're gonna tell me, like, you haven't seen a bald person who immediately wanna touch their head? I've touched my dad's legs just to see how hairless they are. But that's just your dad. Usually your like your aunts and uncles and like grandparents and stuff, their legs are like. I'll tell you this, I don't see enough of my aunts and uncles in order to really tell if their legs are super hairless.
Starting point is 00:10:36 And grandparents, I couldn't remember, I could barely remember their face. You don't even, you don't really see old people's legs that often. Thank God. They start pantsing it up. Thank God. Honestly. My grandma used to rock shorts a lot. And we were all better, worse off for it. Let me say that very clearly.
Starting point is 00:10:54 She was like. And your grandmother was basically translucent. She was. She was like those like, you ever see that episode of SpongeBob where he holds the water bag and his hands under it with the light and he goes Oh twins. Yeah, if I were to grab your grandmother's leg, which at this point is just bone back then circa
Starting point is 00:11:12 2010 just You fucking bastard I can guarantee I can like fucking if I were to put like a note on one side of your grandmother's leg I can read it from the other side. I was going to describe it as like a glass of water, but... Well, no, because... It's more of like if you see... you ever see like a baby bird on the street? Yeah, they're all just dead. But like, but their eyes are closed, but like you can see their eyes still? You can see where their eyes were, like their eyelids are basically see-through.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Yeah, and it's like, okay, I can see through the whole body. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And that's kind of... Put it like this. You ever, like, in like a, you know, some form of an anatomy textbook... We have so many examples. You ever seen an anatomy textbook and they always show, it'll be like, one page it'll be like all of the, you know, the nerve endings in our body and then you...
Starting point is 00:12:03 She's a guy like this? Yeah, and then another page and it's like all the muscles nerve endings in our body and then you. She's a guy like this. Yeah and then another page and it's like all the muscles and then another page. Organs. Organs and then another page it's the skeleton. It's like mostly nerve endings I could see on your grandmother's legs. I remember that pretty clearly.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Yeah. I remember her fingers also being sharp. What? My grandmother had sharp fingers? Yeah, I remember, like, not because of her nails, but like I remember the ends of her fingers were just particularly sharp. Like they came to a point?
Starting point is 00:12:36 Yeah. I don't remember that about her. I remember they were like tiny. Like it was like no meat. Well, yeah. It's just bone. Yeah, it's just bone and not good meat even if there wasn't anything there, right?
Starting point is 00:12:48 Well, I mean, like she was old. She doesn't get that much meat. Yeah, she was all right. Well, yeah. Anyway, yeah, did watch the hot dog eating contest. Did watch that. Also, wait, I took pictures of... That's why I can't get see-through spring rolls. Have you ever seen those with the clear wrapping?
Starting point is 00:13:12 That is a great example. That's exactly what old people legs are. Go to any Asian fusion restaurant and they always have a spring roll or a vegetable roll or egg roll that has a clear wrapping on it and you can see the insides very clearly. That's old people legs. Yeah, you are right.
Starting point is 00:13:31 But while... We just did 10 minutes on old people legs. Well you just couldn't stop. And why do old men's knees just get fat? You know what I'm talking about? I think that's just old Italian guys. No, my dad's knees just get fat. You know what I'm talking about? I think that's just old Italian guys. No, my dad's knees, it looked like someone put a fucking bat in between his legs.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Your dad's not old. Again, internally, 98. We're talking about external, chief. Yeah, his insides believed he was way older than his outsides. Anyway, the hot dog eating contest, I took pictures, because it's so ridiculous to like watch this thing.
Starting point is 00:14:07 It's insane. They give them like walkouts with like, he's done this and that and he's, and I'm like, this is wild. I mean, listen, you gotta commit to the bit. If you're gonna go for it and have belts, like fucking wrestling, commit to it. This one guy, so they have like the guy's name
Starting point is 00:14:21 and his age and height and where he's from. And then under that, just like a little fact Oh, you know whatever this one says once ate 10 pounds of mac and cheese in 20 minutes That's insane Half a pound of mac and cheese. How hard is that actually? Mac and cheese is dense Joey a box of Velveeta is a pound What a box no way? Yeah, it's a pound of pasta With the cheese though? I mean, maybe. With the cheese makes it heavier. Maybe? I mean, hold on. Back on the phone. You see
Starting point is 00:14:52 this kid? He just needs a fucking irrelevant fact and he needs to know. Hold on baby. You need to be serious. Oh no, it's not. It's actually less. Probably with the cheese it's a pound because it's 12 ounces of pasta Maybe I immediately take back what I said then also pasta gets heavier when it's in when I like it's cooked Yes, correct. So like 10 of those in 20 minutes. I'll say I'll say this if it's Velveeta. I might get three pounds down Velveeta is delish. I might get three pounds down because I'll eat it so quick my body won't realize it's in me. I'll be honest with you. If it was the Spongebob Squarepants shaped.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Craft. Craft mac and cheese, I might be able to top this guy's record. Why is mac and cheese better as characters? Because you could blow air and suck through it. There's that sucking thing you do. There it is. It always finds its way into
Starting point is 00:15:46 our shows and it's not it doesn't even need to work laboriously to do it. It just finds its way. You honestly don't relate to that when I say that. You have named enough foods that you suck liquids through that it makes me think that you just might start doing it to penises. No. That's not even how you would suck a penis. Demonstrate. If you give me a piece of mac and cheese, I'll do it. So I'll give you a cucumber and mac and cheese.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Cucumber? No. For being a penis. It needs to be porous. Oh, cucumbers are pretty porous. No, they're not. They're not actually. More definitions you know. But anyway this guy says once ate 10 pounds of
Starting point is 00:16:28 mac and cheese. The next guy I took a picture I just took a picture just that I was sending it to like my group chat being like getting ready whatever and then I the next guy his fact was enjoys bow hunting, hiking, and building computers. Not as cool as 10 pounds of mac and cheese. Also are you even at the right place? Yeah. This as cool as 10 pounds of mac and cheese, to be honest. Also, are you even at the right place? Yeah. This guy's eating 10 pounds of mac and cheese
Starting point is 00:16:49 and you're building computers? Well, that's probably how he trained for it, is he ate like a whole elk. You know what I'm saying? Like he just shot and killed one whole giant elk, which they could be what, like 200 pounds? An elk? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Don't you fucking reach for that thing. Just guess. 200. Elks are big, bro. 200 pounds. I would say like probably yeah I mean 200 probably 200 300 pounds probably they're big I Don't care how much they weigh though. Hey Siri, how much does an elk weigh? No Syrian here or an Alexa? Someone's someone's phone is going off right now. Yeah, yeah, so it's right now. It's like Was that your Alexa that was a Siri actually yeah is going off right now. Yeah, yeah. Someone's right now. Someone's getting the. It's like, oh, mm, mm, mm, mm.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Was that your Alexa impression? That was Siri, actually. Yeah. Did you see also the video of the guy? The lemonade? Yeah, and he just started. Yeah, the poor guy. He's just like, poof.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Bro. So, the, this is so crazy because, it never hit me until like last year that when you watch the hot dog eating contest if you're another country looking at that you're like this is what Americans are yeah a gallon of lemonade yeah honestly if I'm being really honest with you if you were to send me to a remote island that has had no contact with the outside world there's that one they're like cannibals.
Starting point is 00:18:06 I don't know where they are, but they're there. And you were to say, you have to bring 10 things. They could be pieces of media, they could be items, they could be whatever, to show these people to explain what the United States is. Hot dog eating contest is up there. Honestly, in the top five. That's an insane tradition. The fact that people
Starting point is 00:18:26 camp out, we're going to take not by my definition, but by the, what do they know? FDA is definition. One of the most unhealthy foods you can eat and we're going to eat as many as humanly possible in a short period of time. And then we're gonna give a ton of money to the person that does it. We're gonna dunk the bread in water and shove it. That's the worst part for me. So disgusting. The hot dogs I'm all about.
Starting point is 00:18:52 It's the dunking of the wet bread. Have you ever tried to eat two at one time? Like do that? I can't, not consciously. Unconsciously. How would you? I'm just saying like. In your sleep? I haven't like been been like I'm gonna try to do it
Starting point is 00:19:06 I might have done it by like double stuffing a bun or something Whoa, dude, you DP'd a bun and then ate it. I maybe I'm not quite sure it's possible. It has happened in a drunken stupor. I Want to try and do that they do like the wiggle. I don't like the wiggle the wiggle bothers me Now you're fucking with like yeah, like the fact they I don't like the wiggle the wiggle bothers me now. You're fucking with like yeah Like the fact they have it down to a science. I don't like that either like this. We shouldn't be putting as much Science into like the Olympics as we do like the hot dog eating contest that just seems a little out of place Yeah, and also like it should be fun, bro Like you're gonna eat 70 hot dogs the whole crowds like oh alright. What the fuck didn't an Italian guy win it this year?
Starting point is 00:19:43 He was like fucking you know like Gi, what the fuck? Didn't an Italian guy win it this year? He was like fucking, you know, like Giuseppe Bucca di Beppo or something. Yeah, it was like Peter Bonucci or something like that. Damn, the Italians needed this, honestly. He ate 50 something. Yeah, and then didn't fucking, what's his name, chestnut for like charity ate 70 in like half the time.
Starting point is 00:19:59 That is, I don't even know. Just crazy, just absolutely crazy. What is, I don't know. I just don't, if it just absolutely crazy. What is I don't know? I just don't If it were something like nachos I could do nachos We should do an eating contest somewhere. We did on sending out of studios where we face off against Yeah, I know. Oh like if we're like on one of our shows we do like this is the place where you need to eat
Starting point is 00:20:20 Like a four pound burrito. Yeah, like if we if we could do one like together I mean like but like i'm saying like when we go to a city, like before the show, we do it. There's one, fuck, where is it? I think there's a place by me, which we're not doing a show by me, but what I'm saying is like, it's like you have to eat a whole pie of pizza in an hour.
Starting point is 00:20:40 I think it's called like Pete Nelda's is the place, I could be butchering it, but like that sounds way easy. One person, whole pie? That dude, you could do that. Definitely possible. I've eaten like six slices and been like, I gotta stop. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:55 I feel like I could definitely eat four, like without a doubt. And then the, but that's half. So the rest of the four, I would have to like really shovel in. The last two would probably, I would probably peep. You'd be throwing upies? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I don't know how I can do it. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do like, maybe for the Texas shows, like somewhere down there we find like, these are the fucking, you know, tit sucking big fucking boneless wings challenge. And it's like, okay, I think we could do something like that. That'd be a good video I have my picture on the wall at some place cheap burger cheap burger. Yes. Yeah, I think my god, bro I've been trying to remember the name of that fucking place forever. Yeah
Starting point is 00:21:33 Well, I remember because it was an SNL skit, but you know, what do I know cheap? She better get she better get you better get you on I never went to cheap burger cheap burger I know actually I think I had, but I never did the challenge. I was like freshly 18, just got my license, went there. I remember I would always, whenever we'd go to Hooters, I'd be like, give me the 911 wings, thinking that they were gonna put my picture up. It wasn't a challenge.
Starting point is 00:21:56 They weren't putting my picture up. Yeah. I think there's- Also wings at Hooters? Over a- No, no, no, no wings. Believe it or not, Hooters had good wings. They also, I'm not gonna make this stupid joke.
Starting point is 00:22:09 It's from the office where he's just like, can I get the chicken breast? Hold the chicken. No, I remember Hooters had good wings. Joey would show up with $20 for him and Keith and they'd both get like three sodas each and like cheeseburgers and then be like, I don't know. I cannot, guys, I can't even begin to explain how far from the truth that actually is.
Starting point is 00:22:31 No, no, no. It happened once and it didn't happen multiple times. It did not happen. That never happened. Frankie, what you're describing- Can I ask you a question? A serious question. No, you don't get to lie and change the subject.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I'm going to ask you a question. It's about this subject. Go. What gain do I get out of lying about that? All you do is lie. Don't say that. Don't say that. I don't like that because then people watch this and they're just like, he's a liar.
Starting point is 00:22:55 I'm not a liar. Why would I lie about fucking you eating food at Hooters? Because you're trying to make me look bad. No, I don't have to try. Trust me, you do it well enough. I There was a time there was a one time obviously I'm joking I know what you're talking about and it was you make it seem it was me you and Keith who went to Hooters There was 40 people. Yes, other people also did the same thing. I didn't do that
Starting point is 00:23:18 This with other people no one cares about how funny it is at the vino's an idiot They care about how funny it is a urine idiot. Oh And you were just like I have a billion dollars. I have my money. I paid no no no no no I also probably know You're I also probably did it too, but oh it's not funny when I talk about myself Making up stories. I'm not making up stories. This is I remember there was a one time a fiction podcast No, no, no, not fiction podcast. So watch it. Well. I think you're mixing up, oh no, you're right. I always mix up non-fiction and fiction. There was that one time that we went,
Starting point is 00:23:50 that we were legitimately like $120 short. Do you remember that? Yeah, because people were like, I only had four wings. I didn't eat, I was like, we ordered for the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But have you ever skipped out on a bill? I think I told this story. You ran out? Yeah, I think I told this wait. You just ran Yeah, I think I know it have you you tell your story first because it might be better than mine
Starting point is 00:24:13 I did it in a cab once oh You dirty little bitch because back then back then cabs couldn't track you yeah It was just like you get in and they would just which is kind of a stupid system when you think about it. Oh, it's been stupid from get go. So like you would get into a cab, this is so weird that I'm explaining cabs. A lot of people didn't grow up in major metropolitan markets,
Starting point is 00:24:36 so like they don't know. You'd walk to the corner and go, and a car would stop and take you wherever you want. And you'd haggle price. Yeah, and then like when you get to the place that you're going to, like okay, right here, then they have to like, you could give them cash? I think back then it was like just cash.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Oh no. Most of them were just cash, but some of them did have like a card reader in the back. Yeah. But they would say like, it doesn't work. But you'd be like, it's working, I see it. But when you're a fucking idiot and you're 17 or, oh no, you know what I did that was even worse. I felt so bad. You screamed Rachel slurs at the cab driver
Starting point is 00:25:10 No, okay, that's what I was but I was I was I was 18 years old or 19 And I was drunk in a cab. Yep, and I was hanging out with my friends from high school for the first time, like in whatever. So for some reason, like the cab driver's license, like taxi license was right in front of me. So I just took it. And then we left and we paid for the cab and we were walking away. Then the guy got on the phone and he was like, yo, please just like return this thing, like
Starting point is 00:25:43 whatever. And then you felt bad, Joey, such a feel bad. I felt so bad. So I was like,, please just like return this thing like whatever and then You felt bad Joey such a feel bad. I felt so bad So I was like we have to go back so we went back, and I was like we're gonna help you look for it Maybe it came out. I don't know. Oh you lied about taking it 100 okay? All right, and then I did the old like there it is Oh, oh, it was right probably was like thank you you drunken little bitch. Yeah. I almost beat the shit out of you. Yeah. But I felt horrible.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Yeah, well, I mean, you did the right thing at the end. I had to give it back. Yeah, you did. You did. I felt really bad. Mine I felt way worse for because I was at, there was a bar in Astoria. I was closer to like where like Brian is
Starting point is 00:26:20 and it did 25 cent wings on like whatever day it was. You walked out on a 25 cent wing bill? Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. You walked out on an eight dollar bill. Listen, no listen. I went with several people, all of which I will not name because I don't know if they want to be a part of this story. Don't implicate them.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Yeah. And we ordered a ton of wings, but they were, bro, legitimately awful. Like couldn't have been, like, they somehow fucked this up. Like, it was so- They're a quarter! But it was, but like, you would expect that they would at least be somewhat tasty.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Okay. Like, we got, I remember we got like, hot, we got mild, we got like, parm garlic. The parm garlic was literally just like, you know how like, they have those containers of like, minced garlic in water? It was just like, someone put a wing and dipped it in there and put it on the plate it was awful and One of our friends jokingly now, I know jokingly said like yo, let's run out on the bill
Starting point is 00:27:14 Let's run on the bill. Let's run on the bill. I was just like guys we can't do that. It's poor fucking girl They were like, yo, let's run out. Let's run out I was like no and the way that we were positioned was like we were sitting here There was a hallway to a bathroom and then there were two doors like and like there was like something in the middle that like blocked the hallway so like you couldn't see on the other side of it and there were two doors right here so like we're sitting there and I'm like guys I'm not good and they're like fucking with me at this now knowing they're like fucking with me
Starting point is 00:27:42 like yo we're gonna we're gonna run out we're gonna skip out I'm like guys please don't like I could, like this is fucked up. And then we're just like, no, we're going to do it. We're going to do it. And I was just like, Oh God. So I went to, one of the guys went to the bathroom and then I went to the bathroom a couple of minutes after and he looks at me, one person still at the table and he looks at me and he goes, are you ready to run? And I go, no, please don't do this. And I look outside and I see one of our friends walking. I had come to find out they were just walking to get their car, cause they were the DD, they drove.
Starting point is 00:28:12 And I saw them walking outside and I freaked out and I sprinted and ran down the block and like just ran. What did the other person do? One of the other two people that were still in there ran out too and the fucking bar manager ran out and chased us and then one of the persons, like the other person stayed there and they were just like, they were just like
Starting point is 00:28:38 watching us run away and they're sitting there and the poor fucking waitress starts crying. Like they're gonna make me pay for this. Like I can't. Oh my God, you fuck. You should go back to that place right now. No, I think it closed. And the remaining friend was just like,
Starting point is 00:28:53 I don't know why they did that, they're assholes. He paid for everything. And then met us at Dipmar Station afterward and was like, you fucking idiot. And I was like, bro, you guys said you were running and I saw one person outside so I took off. And they were like, we were fucking with you. And I just, I felt so bad. I didn't go back obviously.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Yeah. Haven't been back there since. I should probably go back. Zero percent chance a girl still works there. Do you know what it's called? I mean, if I look it up, I could find it. It was on the corner of like 28th Avenue or 30th Avenue and like 46th Street
Starting point is 00:29:22 or something like that. Is it the keys? The keys. It's like a bar. Over something like that. Is it the Keys? The Keys. It's like a bar. Over there? Yeah. I don't think so. I think the place closed down.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I think it is gone, but. Well. I felt bad. I felt bad, I felt bad, I felt bad. I love that you ran out. Everyone's like, what are you doing? Yeah, and then like I freaked out because I saw one of them out there.
Starting point is 00:29:40 And then we all met up at the second bar and I felt bad. I paid like, either I paid for a couple of drinks for the person that paid or like I just paid them back. Yeah. But yeah, it was crazy. Also, it was like cheap. It was like 50 pounds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Yeah, it wasn't that expensive. That's what I'm saying, 25 cent wings, how much could it possibly be? And we all got like two beers each or something like that, or like the non-DD, so like six beers, you know? Not bad. Well, you're gonna make that girl pay for it. I heard she's homeless now, you happy?
Starting point is 00:30:08 I mean, maybe it's something she did. Or something that happened to her. We do have sponsors for today, the first one being Squarespace. You're gonna build your website, you're gonna wanna do that with Squarespace, it's the best platform to do it with, okay? They have lovely templates that are gonna make it
Starting point is 00:30:20 very easy to build a very professional looking website, and listen, your website is your first impression so that's what you're gonna have to put you know all your efforts into here and they make it easy with Squarespace you don't have to hire or outsource for you know building a website it could be very expensive and I don't even know what would go into that honestly but before Squarespace came around I've used other platforms to build out websites and it takes forever it's just it's just they're not as good all right so Squarespace is the one but yeah they're they're sponsors for us a lot of people like I don't say this every time I read this ad but like a lot of people hit me up and they're like yeah I use
Starting point is 00:30:58 Squarespace to build this any of the websites you see us we use Squarespace for all our stuff so yeah Any of the websites you see us, we use Squarespace for all our stuff. So yeah, if you want to try it out, go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay? Again, that is squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. So go check them out, go build your website with them,
Starting point is 00:31:25 and also they have a lot of tools to help you, you know, optimize your traffic. It's really going to be helpful, trust me. So if you have a business or whatever, use Squarespace and use that code. And we also have Seakeek. The MLB season is in full swing, and you know, it's summer. A lot of people are out there having concerts. Maybe go to like an arena or a stadium or even a little theater or something.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Also the basement yard is on Seakeak, so you can check it. I looked it up and I was like, ooh, this is cool. Now I'm on the app. But yeah, I've been using Seakeak for years. It is the app where you get all of your tickets. It is the number one rated ticketing app in the app store. And we are gonna hook you guys up. I mean, everyone can use our new code BASEMENT15
Starting point is 00:32:07 for 15% off any tickets on SeatGeek. All right, so if you're gonna be going to anything, you're gonna wanna use this code. It's 15% off of any ticket on SeatGeek. So if you're going to a concert or a play or whatever it is, if it's on SeatGeek, you're saving 15%, all right use that code basement15 to save it if you're coming to our show if you missed the original uh you know release of tickets
Starting point is 00:32:34 and now it's like now i gotta buy it on this uh secondary market use Seakeak save the 15% come to the basement yard show use basement the code basement 15 and get 15% off when you use the CK cap so go download the app you know and get to it and go buy tickets to our show we'll see you there all right but yeah enjoy guess what since Joey brought it up since Joey put a little crumb down at my feet I'm gonna be the little rat in this room and I'm gonna eat that shit up baby baby. The basement yard experience. We're out. We're about, we're living it up and we're not taking any crap. And that doesn't rhyme. Damn it. But listen, the basement experience, we are after it. We're actually getting, getting ready for a fucking slate of shows that we're
Starting point is 00:33:18 excited for. So we hope you're excited for it. So if you're coming to any of those shows, make sure you go check out thebasementyard.com slash submit a part of the shows. We like them to be interactive. We'd like to talk to you. You talk to us. We'd like to hear from you guys and funny stories, ha ha's he he's and all of that stuff. No cap, no kizzy. So go submit the questionnaire and then maybe we'll talk to you about you with you.
Starting point is 00:33:37 You never know, but you know, you can't do it unless you go to thebasementyard.com slash submit. And then while you're at thebasementyard.com, you might find a link to our Patreon account. That's patreon.com slash the Basement Yard. If you're feeling nasty and you could sign up today. That first year gives you these weekly episodes one week in advance. That second tier gets you, uh, you guess it an extra episode every single Friday morning. You could start and end your week with the Basement Yards. More, more ha ha's and more he he's no kizzy cap all the way down to, uh, thank you for helping us get to if we're not over 32,000 Which is pretty crazy. We're getting there. So thank you guys so much. The love and support is you know
Starting point is 00:34:12 What does it wish many say the love and support never goes unnoticed. Thanks for being our smesties So we appreciate it go check it out and we'll talk to you later Thanks for being our smesties. He's got smesties, baby. I love it. Shout out to a mad man. He did a he did like an IRL stream playing like chandelier with my brothers. Oh, did he? Yeah, I was there that day. But apparently not. Well, I went home. I just went for the day. Yeah, I heard my brothers were like Joey showed up in a fucking thick button
Starting point is 00:34:40 down shirt and it was like 95 degrees. No, it was it wasn't it was a it was like a degrees. No, it was like a breathalyzer. You have an inability to plan your outfit based on the weather. Frank, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about, like 98% of the time. There was one of our shows that we did that you were wearing a pretty thick shirt
Starting point is 00:35:01 and I forgot which one and it was hot hot like a donkey That's not even a fucking expression It was hot hot like a donkey. It was hot like a donkey. No, it was not I think everything was totally fine I was fine. I think it probably was and I brought a bathing suit and a shirt. That's like breathable. That's a button-down bathing suit I went into the water. Oh I thought you were saying at our shows. I was like, why the hell were you wearing a bathing suit at our shows?
Starting point is 00:35:29 No, no. How was the water? Did it feel good? Mad good. Went out on the boat, did a little swimmy swam. Oh, I love swimmy swams. Didn't drink though, cause I had to drive home. That sucks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Why not? Why? Because that, oh, cause Andrew's family was up there. So I was like, well, you know, you didn't you didn't want to push Push it, you know if I'm no I didn't want if I'm in the lake if I'm in the lake I feel incomplete unless there's a drink in my hand. I mean I was in the water and I you know It was all and I and I had one you indulge baby. I have one Man, I remember when there was a time where Danny and I were at the lake. This was like 2013, 2014,
Starting point is 00:36:08 when it was just like literally wake up, drink, like get after it. And him and I were on a raft. And like, you know how my dad has like those floating islands? And one person from the boat was throwing the beers. They were bottles, glass bottles of Presidente. And he was- You were launching glass bottles?
Starting point is 00:36:27 Yeah, if it hits something, it hits the water. But what we didn't find out is that, what we found out was glass bottles sink. Yeah. So, naturally, we got goggles and we went down and we got them. And you drank them? Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:43 What do you mean, and you drank them? What else are you gonna do with them? I didn't know you could even go down that far. It's like 20 or 20 something feet maybe less. Frank you, Frankie This is how you do it. Are you ready? Are you ready? You didn't swim down 20 feet! Listen, you can ask He might not remember it. Your ears would explode. No not 20. All right, maybe it's not 20 feet Maybe it was like 12 feet, but much more believe me. I did I did this I did this this is the best way for those of you guys that want to know how to swim guys Hey, ladies and gentlemen, we have a the the diving team here. He's going to teach us how to do it If you Frank Frank
Starting point is 00:37:22 I love how you thought you were gonna teach an audience something and all you did was this. You know what it is? He's got young children who are like very new to the world and don't know things. He forgets that he's talking to people that have lived the same many years as him and he the world and don't know things. He forgets that he's talking to people that have lived the same many years as him. And he thinks that we don't know fucking anything. You would blow out and you would just do this. And do this and you go down so fast.
Starting point is 00:37:53 I know. And you go down so fast. And then when you're down there, you have like seven, eight seconds to grab something and then go back up. When you get down there, you can see. Goggles, baby. I know, but still it looks like. I mean, once you get closer to the bottom, like it gets you can see. Goggles, baby. I know, but still, it looks like.
Starting point is 00:38:05 I mean, once you get closer to the bottom, like it gets less murky. I don't, ew! I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. Because if I see a fish down there, forget I'm out. Well, when we were younger, that happened where we went underwater with goggles.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Like that's the reason we don't go underwater with goggles in the lake often, because we went underwater with goggles, and the lake has a lot of a fish called walleye. You ever heard of a walleye? Look that shit up. Legitimately, look it up, legitimately a foot from my face. Max.
Starting point is 00:38:33 No, no, no, what, how do you spell it? Wall? Eye. This is funky, what the fuck is this? Fish. Oh, wall, I put the letter I. You're just making fun of me for being an idiot. What?
Starting point is 00:38:52 Yeah, baby. Imagine seeing that fucking mug in yours. This is a big fish. Yeah, dude, they get big. No. They're like protected. They're not allowed to, you can only get like fish for like two a day. Tell you what, you're gonna need an army to protect them if they're a foot away from my face. I'm snapping it in half. Yeah, it's got like spines on its back and shit.
Starting point is 00:39:10 Don't like it. Spines? Yeah, the fin is like spiny a little bit. Are you saying it's like spiky? Yeah, that one too. Spines is just- Spiny. You ever heard of a stonefish?
Starting point is 00:39:25 It's like the most venomous fish. You step on it and it releases a blue toxin into you. Yeah, there's that freak Coyote Peterson, I think is his name. He gets stung by a bunch of bugs and fish and stuff. Guy's a nut job. The way he's up fish is dumb. He's a fucking idiot.
Starting point is 00:39:42 He's a smart guy actually. He uses it for educational purposes. But like, he go bro stone. Look up stone fish needle. Look it up. Look up that shit. Imagine this going into your foot.
Starting point is 00:39:55 Stone fish needle. Yeah. It's a cool color. It is blue. But I don't like it. Yeah, I don't either. You know what part of TikTok I've gone down? The rabbit hole I've gone down?
Starting point is 00:40:11 The people that scuba dive and hunt lionfish. You ever seen those? No. They just have that big spear with like two fucking tongs on it. And they click a button and go. And they just go. Pooch.
Starting point is 00:40:23 And they just fucking. That's cool. And they put them in a big big you know like a big like fucking tube yeah I I I feel like that's probably the most manly thing you could do on earth hunt fish is like be in the water with a wooden spear and then she's like push and then you have you have dinner and then you eat fish that night I know being in the water and poking it is nothing I want to javelin throw this thing. Oh, I'm letting you know right now. If I can figure out how to throw a javelin,
Starting point is 00:40:51 it's over for you guys. Are you talking directly to the fish? Yes. It is over for you wall eyes, dude. Dude, just letting you know, if I can figure out how to throw a javelin, problem. If you're a fish, you're in trouble, baby. Damn how to throw a javelin, problem. If you're a fish, you're in trouble, baby.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Damn, that would be cool, you're right. Like jumping off a deck with a thing in your hand, and be like, oh! And then you come out, you're like, I got it. Bro, if I catch a fish with a javelin, I'll eat it raw, I don't give a fuck. Mm, I care, because I don't wanna get sick. But you could do that.
Starting point is 00:41:24 But what about catching it with your bare hands? Well, like people that noodle crazy Have you ever seen the videos of people that just go into fucking backwater swamps and they go underwater and they're like Oh, I found a catfish den and it's like a tunnel underwater and then they go in and they fucking catch a catfish the size of my fucking dog Don't have a dog, dog's dead. Two, big. I've seen one where it's like,
Starting point is 00:41:48 it was like a girl and her whole arm up to here had the fish on it. And I was like, bro, what? Was this a porn thing you were looking at? It was a, girls can fish, sexism. I'm not, no, this guy loves fucking, oh, I found fucking cake farters. I found fucking-
Starting point is 00:42:05 Let it go. Five years ago, maybe we had that conversation. It's funny, it just came back up on the show, The Boys. Do you watch that show? I have, but I haven't watched the new season. Oh, the new season there. Just a spoiler alert, I guess. There was a cake farter episode
Starting point is 00:42:17 where he was just like fart on it, and he farts, and he's like, oh, it's so hot. Bro, you need to watch that show, it's fucking crazy. Ew. There's like, titty sucking in it. Oh, nice. Dicks like, oh, it's so hot bro. You need to watch that show. It's fucking crazy. There's like titty sucking in it Oh nice dicks like like long dicks. Oh what there's yeah long dicks There's a guy there's a superhero whose name is love watching dragons house of dragons. Don't care for that shit It's got a I don't give a fuck about it. I Don't care about yelling. I don't care bro. I'm coming around and realize Game of Thrones is overrated
Starting point is 00:42:46 No, it's not yes. It is not even top five shows of all time not even top ten You're getting crazy. No. I'm being honest the storytelling is just so there's so much There's so much that what they do is they put fucking dragons and fucking incest and like old-timey talk That's real though they were incesting stupid it's not stupid it's written for porting history joey sitting here defending incest oh you got shit I just defending incest but what do you want them to do you want them to fall in love with the girl down the street no she's a peasant so you gotta fuck your cousin
Starting point is 00:43:23 was also royal to you. You're honestly digging your whole way. What, I said ill. You're saying that he's not gonna fall in love with a peasant and then he went ill. That was a real ill that you did. Because I said you're gonna fuck your royal cousin. No, and then you said like, fall in love with a peasant, ill.
Starting point is 00:43:40 That was a real one that you said. I did not say that. Man. Stupid ears. Remember when you said you don't lie? Lie. Honestly, that might just be one that you said. I did not say that. Man, stupid ears. Remember when you said you don't lie? Lie. Honestly, that might just be I misremembered it. But second, honestly, I am coming around
Starting point is 00:43:52 to seriously thinking that it's a little overrated. And the ending was, I know people are just like, hindsight, it wasn't that bad, not good. No, I don't think the ending was great. Not good. It was just, this is what the show did. This is what the show did. This is why people think it's better.
Starting point is 00:44:04 The ninth season of Incredible TV. This is why people think it's better. This is why people think it's better than it actually is. It was the first show of its kind to have this fucking insane budget, okay? Each episode was like $2 million. Two, it puts fucking sword fights and the unpredictability of anyone could die and fucking dicks getting chopped off
Starting point is 00:44:24 and brothers and sisters fucking each other and dragons. and the unpredictability of anyone could die and fucking dicks getting chopped off and brothers and sisters fucking each other and dragons. And they add 400 characters. What more could you need? 400 characters and people are just like, oh, it's the greatest thing ever. We're gonna look back and just be like, yo, this was too much.
Starting point is 00:44:40 No, they're not. This was too much. Look back, bro, we can do that now. Too much! No. Too much. It, they're not this was too much look back bro. We can do that now too much No too much. It's a good show I'll take you can debate five, but like there's no way you can say it's not out like it's not top ten like there's no way Sopranos don't even start there start at like something that I would be upset at the office The office is a better show
Starting point is 00:45:04 The Game of Thrones. Yes. Yes. You're also naming a different type of show. Okay, fair. The Wire. Why are you starting there? The Wire and Sopranos are regarded as like one-two.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Oh, suddenly so difficult. Season one of Jessica Jones is better than any season of Game of Thrones. Frank, you are a child and I hate you. And I, and I, I, I hope you break your pinky. Bodily harmed. One of my favorite fingers, honestly.
Starting point is 00:45:46 What's your least favorite? Don't even look at that pointer. I was gonna say it might be the pointer. Your least favorite finger is your pointer? Yeah. Don't you dare. I love this ring finger. This one is my least favorite of the 10, I would say.
Starting point is 00:46:00 What is the difference between them? Well, that's the ring finger for like marriage. That's why you like it? Yeah. Symbolic. This ring finger is just pointless. It does nothing. It means nothing, it does nothing.
Starting point is 00:46:11 It definitely doesn't do nothing. It does nothing. It's underappreciated, it sounds like. Maybe show it some love. Doesn't need it. Don't care for it. I don't know what's happening anymore. Pinkies, though.
Starting point is 00:46:24 No, pinkies are sick, dude. What's the show? Oh. Can't hang 10 if you don't know what's happening anymore. Pinkies though. No, pinkies are sick, dude. What's the show, oh. Can't hang 10 if you don't got a pinky. If you got, I've never done that in my life, so I think I'm good. If you, actually you wanna know something funny, when I was on the boat in Connecticut, you know you like drive by people on the boat
Starting point is 00:46:40 and you're like, hey, you tell strangers and they wave back. I went like this, just came out of me. Just came out. And a girl did it back. And I was like, yeah! Remember before he was calling me a liar and he just said he'd never done that in his entire life
Starting point is 00:46:51 and he literally did it within days of this recording. I changed my mind and then told the truth. I, so you went to go lie initially, crazy. Read the second round of ads before I fucking start, you know, unloading on you. Sorry. No, I- start unloading on you. Sorry. No, I- This guy's horny.
Starting point is 00:47:09 All right, we'll get back to the TV show talk after you do that little stupid thing over there. Okay. I should probably not do that. How dare you, Francis. I should probably not do that, honestly. The stupid thing I was gonna talk about is the Everything Bagel Hot Sauce
Starting point is 00:47:20 from Secret Handshake Food Co. It's now in a ton of whole food markets nationwide and a ton of Walmarts nationwide. So what you can do is you can go to either of those websites, type in the, you know, see where you can find it at any shows that are, the fuckin'. Anyway, first of all, you almost legitimately broke the desk.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Yeah. It's already broken. Go get the hot sauce, heatin'this.com, or go get it at Walmart, go get it at Whole Foods, and go get it somewhere else. At the heatcom or go get it at Walmart, go get it at Whole Foods and go get it somewhere else. At the Heatness.com. There you go.
Starting point is 00:47:48 But yeah, this podcast, hello, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. You want to get into therapy? You should, okay? I've been in therapy for years now. I think that it's done wonders for my life and I suggest that everyone should be in it. So go check out BetterHelp. They will connect you with a therapist in just under 48 hours.
Starting point is 00:48:05 So it's a very quick connection. So you don't have to sit around and wait for too long. And maybe you change your mind in that time. It's just two days, get you set up, get you on board and you can start talking to a therapist. And also, if you've never done therapy, you wanna feel it out, see if they're a good match for you.
Starting point is 00:48:19 If you feel like, oh, this person doesn't really understand me or like, eh, they're not really my vibe, then you can switch. They make it very easy to switch therapists so you can find the right fit for you and then you can do it you know it's customizable so you can do it at any frequency you want if you want to buy weekly buy monthly or whenever you want it you can have it with better help and it is more affordable than in-person therapy which is very nice because I think that the cost of in
Starting point is 00:48:40 person therapy is a big deterrent is very expensive if you don't have the right insurance. But we're gonna save you some money. So you can go to betterhub.com slash BasementYard today to get 10% off your first month. Okay, that is B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash BasementYard to save 10% off of your first month today, all right? And lastly here, we have Babbel, okay?
Starting point is 00:49:04 The best way to learn a learn a language babble I Was using battle during the pandemic a lot because I wanted to brush up my Spanish and when I say brush up I mean that I took a couple Spanish classes in school and barely learned anything But with babble it feels like you know, I learned so much more because they make it they put an emphasis on the Conversational parts of a language so you can actually use it. So the things that you would actually ask a person
Starting point is 00:49:30 like on the street or whatever, like those are the type of things they teach you. It's awesome honestly. And they like gamify the experience. Kind of gets addicting honestly, I'm not gonna lie. They have like little, like lessons every day that you do. But I just do a ton like usually because it's just honestly so fun and easy. And when I'm getting it right I'm like oh my god I am like, what's it called when you know, oh fluent.
Starting point is 00:49:54 That's what it is. I feel like I'm fluent in Spanish. But if you want to learn a language and it's not just Spanish on there, it's any language you can think of on Babbel. You can go to Babbel and you will get 50, I'm sorry, 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash basement. That is 60% off at babbel.com slash basement, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash basement. Rules and restrictions may apply. So if you want to learn a language, this might be the way to do it. Okay. So studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others continue to prove
Starting point is 00:50:28 that Babel is better. One found that Babel, using Babel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. And I've done it. Feels like that's correct. All right. So go check out Babel. Go get your 60% off. What an insane amount of savings. And he's done it. Babble, not a full semester of college. Sorry, I had to. That was very funny. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Also, are we going to talk about the big elephant in the room? The Florida man who sneezed and then blew out his asshole? That's a real story, fellas. This is what I fear whenever I sneeze that like something's gonna pop out.
Starting point is 00:51:09 I coughed or sneezed or something happened where something was coming out of my face and my tongue blocked air in my mouth. You almost died. It felt like a pop and I was, I literally was like this. People people are like the day I was, I literally was like this. People, people- For like the day, I was scared. People that like hold in their sneezes and do that. Pew! You know, the, ha, ha, pew, pew!
Starting point is 00:51:31 And I'm like, bro. You're gonna die. Your head is going to explode. Like that's exactly what I imagine happening. I don't know how you learn like that. Like how does it- Because people just like shut that sneeze up and I get that to a degree,
Starting point is 00:51:43 but like you need to let that bitch fly, baby Like boss does that boss is like And I'm just like and he's like he's like a big he's like a built dudes like let that fucking sneeze go Yeah, Frank wants to get sprayed. No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to get sprayed but you know you ever see people who are like It's almost like they never sneeze cuz they're like, huh you And I'm like you're just talk hate that that's not a sneeze a sneeze requires air. I had you my brother speak It's not easy as a quarterbacks do and let you yeah, I don't like I don't like that either
Starting point is 00:52:19 I need to like let that fucking shit go But I guess this is why people say don't do that because then your fucking Butthole falls out but holes falling out crazy dude big fear this sneer Sneer this this sneeze had some fucking power behind it Yeah, could you imagine sneezing to the point where your fucking asshole just opens and just like everything just falls out well I imagine he was older and his asshole was like has given up. Does that happen? I'm assuming. Things get looser. That's right. It's like, you got a little tight butt over there. You know how it's gonna, you know, hard, you have to sneeze and fucking fly out of there. I gotta be honest with you. I kind of don't like you talking about how tight
Starting point is 00:53:01 my butt is, okay? Would you like me to do the opposite? No, I don't want you to talk about my butt and any of its strength. Would you rather it be tight or loose? Duh. Tight. Kind of a question is that. Who wants to be walking around with just a fucking open purse?
Starting point is 00:53:17 You know, that's actually a funny way. So you're like, like homophobic dudes, you'd be like, it's like, what are you fucking talking about? Touch my ass, it's fucking gay. And you're like, all right, but yo, if you had the option, was you rather a tight asshole or a loose one,
Starting point is 00:53:36 they're gonna go tight, tight. Yeah. You know, it's kind of funny. They'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, nothing going in it. Yeah, but you don't want it to be too tight, cause then you can't pull. I think whatever the prerequisite amount of tightness
Starting point is 00:53:51 that's the normal. Yeah, the PSI, whatever the standard PSI. Of butthole tightness. Stick to that, you know? Because there are people that just can't pull it together. It's a thing. What do you mean? Well, there are like, you know,
Starting point is 00:54:05 there are like medical conditions that can like affect the strength of the muscles and like the sphincter. Of course. And like it could fucking, like you can't hold it. Like you can't, like you lose the ability to fucking tighten it up. Yeah, and then it just becomes crap.
Starting point is 00:54:20 It becomes a crap show. Oh my God, that's a fear of mine. Just being unable to control your crap. Yeah. That's not terrifying to you? Yeah, of course. Piss is like whatever up he... Yeah, piss, piss, piss.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Even pissed his pants last week. Oh yeah, you know what's crazy is that same day I also pissed my pants. I just didn't send the picture of it. Wait, was that the day that I talked about how I like peed my pants a little? No, that was a couple weeks ago. Dude, this is not good as a unit.
Starting point is 00:54:47 Why is everyone pissing their pants? No, I think you're finally starting to see that like being piss boys is like the way of life, babe. What the hell does that mean? These guys piss in bottles in here all the time. It's ridiculous. Pissing in the bottles, pissing like you get a little, it's just piss, dude. I know, but- Being a piss boy,
Starting point is 00:55:04 the rock pisses in bottles all the time. he's a piss boy he's a piss boy too he's part of the piss boy club I would not say I'm a PCB baby no PBC there's that dyslexia PBP BBC the piss boy club that should be fucking merch Athena get on that piss boy club piss boy club you're gonna tell me you're not a part of the piss, I mean I don't want to. I don't know what I have to. I don't want to specify it's just for boys. It could be for anyone that identifies as anything, but like the cool pee club, the CPC baby, welcome.
Starting point is 00:55:37 CPC, welcome to the cool pee club. Women pee all the time. Okay. They piss their pants. Boys, we piss our pants too. Women piss their pants all the time! Okay. They piss their pants? Well boys, we piss our pants too! Women piss their pants all the time? Hell yeah! Pregnant ones.
Starting point is 00:55:50 I'm trying to think if Becca pissed her pants pregnant. No, she didn't. She probably wouldn't tell you if she did. She's not going to announce, hey, wet, wet. I do a check. Every night. Let's see it. Let's see it.
Starting point is 00:56:02 You pee? No. Ew! No know yeah piss piss piss yeah, I Want you one time to just piss in a bottle and see how awesome it feels you think I haven't pissed the bottle in my life Like I want you to do a week of pissing in bottles Frank that's an insane request and I don't like peeing in bottles because I feel like what if I run out I like the anxiety Of that is like when you get another bottle or you get a but I can't I don't like peeing in bottles because I feel like what if I run out? I like the anxiety of that is like where I... You should get another bottle or you get a big bottle. I don't do that.
Starting point is 00:56:27 I get a big bottle, get a big, like I had a gallon of water in my, in my, you know, like a big gallon of water in my car that I would pee in for like a week. You had a half gallon of piss swashing around in your fucking passenger seat? It's not in my passenger seat to my defense. Where is it? Behind the passenger seat. It's not in my passenger seat, to my defense. Where is it?
Starting point is 00:56:45 Behind the passenger seat. How is that better? Because it's not out for presentation in the front of the car. Wait till Miles gets in there, apple juice? No, no, I make sure that any time any family members or friends get in my car, I get rid of most of the pee. How delightful.
Starting point is 00:57:02 You have so many manners. Maybe don't piss in a gallon of water. When we had Miles's birthday party at the house, I had to get rid of a couple bottles. Well, because people were just gonna peek into your car. Yeah, I just thought, my windows aren't tinted. So like, I need to like, you know, make sure that there's no pee pee left over.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Question. Anyone? Any questions? Over here. All right, go ahead. Question? Anyone? Any questions? Over here. Alright, go ahead. When you piss in bottles in your car and then you get home, what part physically and mentally prevents you from taking that bottle and throwing it in that garbage?
Starting point is 00:57:43 Because I know the way your house is set up and you have to pass by your garbage cans that are outside in order to get into your house. Well, why do you savor it and let it sit in the heat? What answer do you want, the real answer or the jokey answer? Both. Okay, real answer is, by the time I get home,
Starting point is 00:58:06 I'm so eager to get inside and see my incredible family. No, no, no, you don't get to hide behind your family with this one, buddy. I'm so eager to get in that I leave all the piss in. I'm being honest with you. The jokey answer is, like to see what happens when it sits a day or two. What does the piss look like?
Starting point is 00:58:23 See, I think that's the real answer. I think that you like being like, oh, this is so gross. Oh, ew. No, no. Yeah, I think that you like that it's disgusting. No, I don't. You like it.
Starting point is 00:58:32 You're a sick freak. No, no. You're a piss freak. No. You piss freak. Careful with the labels, okay? I'm not a piss freak. If anyone hears a piss freak.
Starting point is 00:58:43 You're a hot piss freak. I'm not a hot piss freak. I Have wondered if my piss would freeze and I can't remember if it has You throw a bottle in your freezer. No, no, no like in the car leave it overnight. Oh my god That's good the fuck out of me for a second. I'm gonna one day come in here with a bottle of piss for you Cool. What am I gonna do with it? Admire it. I'm not gonna be a piss Cool, what am I gonna do with it? Admire it? I'm not gonna. But yeah piss.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Does piss freeze or is it like alcohol? Which turns into like a syrup. I think it freezes. I'm gonna throw up. What would you do if you accidentally drank a little bit of pee? My pee. I would be so mad. Eh. I would immediately talk about it on here though. Yeah, it would be a great episode
Starting point is 00:59:27 so I'd like bro this kids leaving apple juice and piss around like how am I supposed to tell the difference I I think for a show for Radio City. Why don't we give you a car? Are you insane? I'm not doing that Drinking your piss just a cup crazy. Just a cup. Are you crazy? Just a cup. There is a guy on Instagram that I see who drinks his own piss. That's crazy. Why do you follow him on Instagram?
Starting point is 00:59:50 I don't, it's like this guy, he's been on like, Tom Segura's show before, but I've seen him before, like go viral on like meme pages and stuff, but he has a beard and he has like a bald head and he always talks, he says the most ridiculous shit where he's like, know like you and your boys like got to get together and like your sacks are like Just like filling because of the male energy and you have to release that and then it says like wild hate it
Starting point is 01:00:16 Yeah, it's not great, but then there was a video of him is saying like off-camera Like pissing into a cup, and he's just drinking. He's like, oh, it's so like tart today. I'm like, I'm gonna. Ah, don't like it. Yeah, it's not good. Oh, now you hate it. Once it goes in your mouth, it can go all over your hands
Starting point is 01:00:31 and all over the steering wheel, but once it hits your lips. When you think I'm just willy nilly pissing all over my car, I told you I have a new car. I do not do that anymore. Yeah. I'll go check your car right now.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Is it pissing it? No. I feel like I'm talking to my child. No. Is it pissing the car? If I go to your car right now. If there's piss in it? No. I feel like I'm talking to my child. Is there piss in the car? If I go to the car right now, is there piss in there? No, there's no piss. Well, if there is, you're punished. Where can they find you?
Starting point is 01:00:55 Alvarez885 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez of all the forms of social media. There's piss in his car. You guys can go follow me on Joe Sandero, go follow the show at the Base Me on TikTok and Instagram and that is all. See you guys next time. Bye! See I see you at Radio City. I almost hit it. I almost got it

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