The Basement Yard - #462 - Getting Intimate With A Couch

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

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Welcome back to the basement. Hi, welcome back to the basement yard. It is I Frank. Uh, I want to tell you a little better episode today. It's good to have some laughs. Going to have some, maybe some arguments, right Joe? And most importantly, at the end of the day, it's going to make you feel something one way or another.

So some insightful conversations. You never know what you you're gonna get out of this episode so welcome come along come on this journey with us i'm here with my co-host well thank god you have me honestly because i don't know if that's gonna work for me why not come along on this journey what are you mr rogers i am mr rogers you can't mr. Rogers? Why not because he's very old and unsuspecting in white first of all he's dead. He's gone He's shipped up to Boston. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, no dead. Yeah, Boston is dead in this and you know analogy God, I got it would be cool. Why did that guy always change his shoes is that like I think you know about that I first of all there's movies about him that I'm afraid to watch because it will make me cry and I'll Be damned if I cry over another white man watch it I

Watched the documentary on him and immediately I was like I'm I'm like the biggest piece of shit. Yeah He's like the nicest guy in the world like yeah, I think there's really was through and through yeah and like There's like so much it like comes out about him That's just like god damn it like you can't make fun of this person. I saw one that it was like, blind girl watches this show. She was like, I'm blind and I watch a blind girl? Yeah.

Why do you have me say it again? Next part, go. Watches, well, Joey. That's what I mean, yeah. No, I'm just confused. Watch, you can use different things to watch. You can use other, your ears to watch or listens, whatever. I'm sorry.

I love that I said the thing, but now you're dealing with this. You're digging the hole. First and foremost, I am sorry. So a blind girl was watching. So a blind girl was listening to the show, consuming it however she felt she was able to. Agreed.

And she said that like, you know, there are points in the show where you're quiet and I don't know what you're doing. So can you just tell, like say what you're doing? you know, there are points in the show where you're quiet and I don't know what you're doing So can you just tell like say what you're doing? So like that's why in the show he'll be like and now I'm putting on my jacket this beautiful yellow jacket It's like damn it. That's good for this one. This guy. Yeah. Well, she never know She might have changed the landscape. So like other people felt like it was a more inclusive show I fucked with it dude. He made like cardigans look cool

It was right before our time. Like it was in like the early to mid 80s, right? I've seen it before my house growing up. I've never, I don't think I've ever really watched it. We were not like a big like children's programming home. We had tapes. We didn't, we watched like tapes. Oh really?

Yeah, yeah. We were big at, we were big tape family. VHS was fucking hitting every day. Yeah V. Yeah VHS is where she used to overheat Really? Yeah. Well you had there was four you guys in there all trying to watch probably different stuff crazy Thomas was probably trying to watch like, you know, like Larry Bird highlights on tape big athlete that dude Yeah, Shannon was probably watching like, you know Little Mermaid. I also Little Mermaid Clarissa explains it all tapes Remember that show that was on TV. It wasn't tapes of course they had tapes for it well you don't remember the Nickelodeon orange tapes I never had any of those oh we were a big Nickelodeon home I just said we weren't a

big child program now I'm recanting that we were Nickelodeon I mean like educational child programming I may have have asked you this before. Have you ever bought anything off the TV? Like those like zoo book commercials or like, you know, like, but have you ever been like, yo mom, I really need this thing. Call a number, buy it. I don't remember if I did that, but I remember my mom once, I forget what the name of it was, but it looked like,

it looked like a binder and you open it up and there were two like plastic pieces that came out like that and you put put paper on one side and you put like the image on the other side and it Would like reflect the image so you can trace it. I don't remember what it was called She bought it off the TV. She bought I'm pretty sure she got it off TV It's the only place I saw it have you ever bought something off a TV like QVC or some shit Yeah, no, I feel like I shouldn't watch QVC because I might buy a couple things. Yeah, you would. You kind of strike me as like the demo.

What the hell does that mean? That seems like that was- Impulsive, like the right mood you're like- I'm not impulsive. You think I am impulsive? Not all the time. I think that you have moods. You're like, oh, that'd be dope.

I'm going to get it. I mean, I'm very impulsive as well. I was going to say, that's fucking pot, kettle, black. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? No, I know, I'm very impulsive, yeah. Yeah, you're definitely, I would say that there are times where I'll remember something

and then I'll remember that I have steady income and then I'll buy it. You need some, you need, you know, realizations to happen at the same time. The stars need to align. Correct. But no, I don't think I ever like zoo books or anything like that.

I don't either, but I remember when I turned 18, that was one of the first thoughts in my head because at the end of all those commercials like have to be 18 or older to Order and I was like now I can order I'm 18 really that was what you thought when you were 18 What a fucking square ass birthday you had. Oh, I'm 18 now I can buy fucking hooked on phonics way to go Joey. You're 31 buying these things No, you're buying fucking Dr. Ooze. I am, I have not- And slime, you spent $100 on slime, sir.

Like you can't tell me, I was 18. That was for the children. That was for the kids in my home. We had a slime night. For the children, for the children. It was, we had a slime night in our home. It was one of the best. What is a slime night? We put Maeve was one of the best. What is what is a

slime night? We put Maeve down to sleep which when she goes down, it's a **** party in the home because she's still a handful. Slime night. Put her down. We all sat at the table. I opened a big box of slimes and then we all played with slimes and then what does that mean? You just have the table all doing this? Yeah, like dude, you I you're you're trying to learn how to slime. All right, I'm gonna walk you there.

Come on. You love to tell long stories with not a big deal. I do, I do. I just wanna know how to slime. We got some time to fill here, bitch, okay? We have other stuff. We do have other stuff, often stuff that we don't get to.

But you take slime out and you can let it ooze out, you can fold it in on itself and make a big slime bubble and then book it. You know what I'm saying? Have you never, have you never, a slime? Oh, I've farted slime. Oh, dude. You make a slime little queef slime. Oh, I love queefy slimes, dude.

Me too. There is one slime, I believe it's called bingsu. Feels. I know, I know, I know, I know, Iu feels I know I know I know don't forget it if you do if you like air it out and then you fucking farted in on itself and it gets all queefy yeah oh I love that you ever take an action figure and then put the slime if you like oh stop you get covered in lava or something he's so stuck when I was a kid I I used to do that. I remember I had a

Remember the 1998 Godzilla movie Yeah, the one with like fucking like Careful, it was the one with like Hank Azaria and like you know who I'm talking about. No, dude, just go Matthew Broderick, I don't care But I would put him sitting down like we're standing up on the floor and then I would put slime on the counter. Godzilla? Yeah, and I would be watching him like, oh shit, the slime's in Godzilla, watch out! Yeah.

And then they would fight underneath the slime and then he'd knock out another, and then the slime would get him, dude. I would put slime on my face sometimes. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said that at all, yeah. So you were just sitting there dreaming of getting slimed on my face sometimes. Oh yeah, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said that at all. Yeah. So you were just sitting there dreaming

of getting slimed on your face. No I was not. Yeah you were. Don't make this about Jizz. After watching, I have to say, after watching the Nickelodeon documentary, which is real fucking dark, it makes me look at all that shit differently.

We literally, it was like, oh kids, come on the TV and come on the show and get fucking slined everywhere. And it's like, this doesn't, this seems, seems like it's coming from a bad place. I do want to get to a place like in our career where we could be at the Nickelodeon Choice Awards and just get fucking torched by the slime.

Let me tell you something right now. Wouldn't that be cool? It would be. Remember when they you something right now. I'm wouldn't that be cool It would be remember when they fucking the mom Katie Perry, Katie Perry got punched in the face by side. Oh, they're like The fucking psi up to fucking 400. I was gonna say there's no chance However, however the weekend for the song can't feel my face one like song of the year a couple years ago about cocaine all about it all about doing that Yeah, that old dad that stuff that thing. Yeah that you do in your nose. Yeah, if he can win the song of the year Maybe we win favorite podcast. There are children listen to podcast

They do but I don't think they're gonna give us that I don't think they're gonna bring us. I wish they had an adult Like I wish TRL was still around We would we wouldn't even be on that. It's music. Why not? We would be on TRL They had bad celebrities on there all the time jackass was on there. You think jackass was doing music We're not Johnny Knoxville and Steve. Oh you idiot not for a lack of trying. Let me tell you we did We did do a lot of jackass shit younger going back. I I think my household was more of a Sesame Street household and we barely watched that.

We never watched it. Dude, me and Snuffleufagus, like this at a point in our lives. Really? Dude, I loved Snuffleufagus. Are you kidding me? I never watched Sesame Street ever. We've watched it a lot now. It's incredible.

Big Bird freaks me the fuck out, dude. That's like a 10 foot tall fucking bird. Bro, it's a giant ass- With crack head eyes. With crack head eyes? Yeah, the eyes are like fucking- They blink now, don't they? Yeah.

I think now they're like, they blink and they have that. I don't know, I didn't fuck with it really. I love, like now getting to share that with the kids. Bro, Sesame Street's incredible dude. There's another thing! What the hell, we haven't been on Sesame Street! It's right over here! Come and play, let's go hang out! What's Sesame Street?

Sesame Street. What is that? It's like an actual street in Manhattan. Is it? It's like West 60th or something like that. Is it like? There's a sign for it that says Sesame Street and it's like done up.

I used to have one. So cool, right? Do you remember that? It was like hung up in the basement. Vaguely, no. It said like Sesame Way or, I don't know, Sesame, I don't know. Well, that's bootleg. It was Sesame Street.

That sounds like that's like the fucking- I don't know why I said that. That sounds like it's like the Canal Street version of Sesame Street. Come on down, Sesame Way. Did you go through the phase two where like the first time you got your own room- Signs.

Immediately I'm like, I need as many street signs in here as possible and I'm gonna get a custom when this is like Joe's Street. Do you remember the fuck? Do you remember? Construction zone stay out! Yeah yeah yeah merge ahead. My dad would have kicked the fucking door in. Do you remember the sign I had on my door as a teenager? Please. I know it's bad I don't know I don't remember what it is but you're gonna jog my memory but but I know it's bad. My sister, I'm pretty sure my sister got it for me.

So you can blame her. But it was a purple, like street sign looking thing and it said Pimp Avenue. Bro, I remember this. I remember this. And it was hanging up on the door, you remember that? Pimp Avenue. Yeah, baby, I lived on Pimp Avenue.

I didn't. You didn't. Just so we're all clear. I was not to pimp Avenue. I didn't. You didn't. Just so we're all clear. Yeah, it wasn't. I was not to pimp. It was across the street from a church. Yeah. With the opposite of Pimp Avenue.

I did not live on Pimp Avenue. Right. I was not, by any definition, a pimp, both in the literal and figurative definition. Yeah. But, yeah, street signs were weird, man. Pimp Avenue, that is great. I remember I stole a bus stop sign.

What's like people's like obsession with just like. I don't know. Municipality signs, like government issued. I've thought about, this is serious, I've thought about going and stealing the signs on the corner of my childhood block. Like I've looked at like the bolts and stuff that they're used to like be in there and just like,

oh, I could. We're idiots. I think it's like maybe a millennial thing to do that. Yeah. You know what? I've gone so far to be like, I wish I could get my hands on a whole traffic light and turn it into like a light in your room.

Like a fucking disco ball. Like a chandelier. First of all, those things are like 200 pounds. I know, but I'm a young idiot. You are. Like that would be sick. I'm an idiot, bro. Well, people had the like,

I've seen people in their rooms have like the one that's on a stand. Like not the ones that, because in New York, most of them hang from a fucking, from an arm. But they have ones that are like, or the one that I've seen before, like a railroad crossing ones

What are we doing? Who cares of your room? There's no train in your room, and you ain't plowing anyone idiot Yeah, well you're not in pimp Avenue, so I'm not on pimp Avenue. That's fair. You know it's funny whenever you see pictures of like here's a Like a man cave to me is so corny. Yeah, like to, oh, here's my man cave. Because all the signs are basically. Yeah, it's just like, get the hell out of here. It's time for beer. Yeah, it's like the male equivalent of like. Live, laugh, love.

Live, laugh, love, wine. It's wine o'clock, it's five o'clock somewhere, Margaritaville, eat. We've fully turned the idea of having like a man cave into like a full industry now. It's horrific. People like make money off of like literally designing man caves and it's just like we're gonna put a sign on the wall that says parking for jet fans only yeah also there's like a whole beanbag chair first of all beanbag chair you're

45 shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up love sack you're gonna defend beanbag chair. Shut up. Shut up. That's shaped like a baseball glove. Shut up. Love sack. You're gonna defend beanbags? Love sack. If you're watching this, I'd love a giant 10-foot beanbag chair. He'd love a sack. Someone give him a sack he can jump into. See, now he's making fun of you, love sack. I am not. I am fully accepting any and all free gifts that you're giving me. You're a whore. Dude, gaming in a beanbag chair hits fucking different, I will say that. Yeah, it hits your lower back different. You can try to climb out of that thing. Dude gaming at a beanbag chair hits fucking different I will say that. Yeah it hits your lower back different. You can try to climb out of that thing. It hits your sciatica.

Yeah. Makes your sciatica hit different. And now they've turned, now women have gained control. Of what? Now there's like man caves and girls are like I want a she shed. Have you heard those? No. Yeah.

She shed? She shed. It's like turning like a shed into like a woman cave I'm not gonna not trying to like be like super but that I that sucks to and no it's not like pronouns that you were Oh, yeah, I go by she shed. Yeah, that's my she shed over there. Wait. What it's a shed outside That was the idea. It's like she it's like men have their cave because being a man is being in the dirt And then women have a shed that's the the idea that has been the prevailing. Is that a room or is it like an outdoor? I think it's become like, there's like, because I remember we've seen in looking for houses

in Jersey, we've seen people have literally been like, this is the man cave. And then it'll be like a designated spot in the garage. And it'll be like the she shed. And it's like the idea of like, there's like an art studio out there and shit like that. And it's like, listen, if you're a smart man, your entire house is a she shed.

You're not gonna be able to make good aesthetically pleasing decisions on what furniture should go into this place. The whole thing should kind of look like a she shed. I will say, I will say, if this whole Debacle you got going on here goes down You have a you have a future in being an interior designer. That's because I go online Oh, we Pinterest Joey guys. I kid you not as if this guy needs more reasons to be fucking the Internet's darling

He is legitimately great at designing like his apartments have like a real good like feng shui to them and like you find like good Everything dude, like it's it's honestly like very impressive like people think of like, you know I'll go into this man's fucking apartment and it's gonna be like I have a fucking lawn chair and a TV and beer in the fridge No, like he has like a well-balanced nice Decor, it's really impressive. You're not as good as Becca though, so fuck you. Well, okay. But I go on Pinterest and I just put in like,

I don't even know, like wood and white. That's it. And you don't get any pictures of like boners or anything? It's Pinterest, so. I'm sure you can find it. It's not Google, you're not gonna go to Google. I think I used Pinterest like once in college, and then someone was like, pretty gay,

and I was just like, well I guess like, not my whole personality is trying to. It's basically a vision board. My whole personality was trying to avoid being called gay, you know, so I had to get off of Pinterest. Yeah, yeah, I mean it was 2010 for Christ's sake. It was, well what were we doing, you know so I had to get off of Pinterest. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it was 2010 for Christ's sake.

It was, well what were we doing? You know? Yeah. But uh... It is so stupid. How dumb are we as a society? I don't know but... Alright guys, come into my man cave, pimp my ride, fuck that up. I mean that was the dumbest show ever but... I saw one the other day that was like, I know you want to talk I'm not gonna let you I know that it was a It was a band that had a slot machine on the outside On the outside on the outside it was like in order to get in you need to pull the lever He's like try to open the door and he tried to open it and exhibits like not open it

And then he's like pull the lever and it fuck it was like a custom slot machine and that unlocked the door Why? Why do we need that? And there was a piano in his car. I Heard you like piano dog. I heard you once took piano lessons. So we put a whole piano on the back of your van Yeah, so stupid, but I will say I have seen videos of people who clearly have money but have like a big backyard and like they have like a I guess like a pool house but they've turned it into like a legit

bar like it looks like a like a dive bar cool if you're an alcoholic you know what I'm saying like yeah or if you have if you live in one of those neighborhoods where I'm picturing like Long Island because I feel bro I went went to a bar in Long Island one time and that was the first, this was a while ago, it was the first time that I saw White Claw at a bar. So I was like, oh my God, that's how long ago it was. But I went there, it's called Dublin Deck, for those of you in Long Island who are probably like,

oh my fucking God, I've been there, we are the same person, Joe and I. But I went and there was a band setting up, so I was like, oh dude, let's stay. This'll be dope. So we stayed. Bro, a lot of the people, by the way, full parking lot, then the parking lot's empty.

No one is not drinking in that place. Just letting everyone out. If you're a cop and you need to make some quotas, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. All the cars. Dublin deck, go ahead. But most of the, it felt like most of the people there were like 47.

Okay. And I was like, where are all the children? Like they turned 12 and they're like, their mom was going out! Which I respect. So I was gonna say, if you live- Turned 12? What?

You said that you said- Once the kids turn 12. Oh, like the mom is leaving. Yeah. Okay. I'm going out. I'm going to party. You can watch yourself.

You're old enough. Same thing to say. Where are all the children? Oh, no, I was thinking. I know. I know what you're saying. I know. Where are your kids?

If you're here. Yeah. But if you live in a neighborhood like that, where it's like, okay, everyone is sort of around the same age and it's like the kids are at that age where it's like they can kind of watch themselves or whatever, so the parents like to party, then having a bar in your backyard is actually kind of nice.

Yeah, I mean, I've seen, the extent to which I've seen, again, looking for houses have been like tiki bars. Hate that. I think that's, but not like, it's not like tiki theme. That's just what they call them. Because they're like. I don't like when the roof is like hairy. Yeah.

You know what I mean? That's a specific. Unless we're in a tropical place. That's a traditional Tiki bar, but I'm saying like they just call them Tiki bars and it's just an outdoor bar. It has a fridge, it has a TV, it has a bar and some stools. That I think is pretty cool.

But like, if you're basing your whole like decor, like over like Yacht Rock and like fucking Jimmy Buffet, maybe listen, RIP to the white king, but maybe don't do that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. It was just Margaritaville sign in your backyard. Also having like, I'm thinking from a parent perspective,

I know what we were like when we were 15 and there was alcohol in the house. If there was a bar in my home when we were that age, I would have been, I guess I was drunk a lot as a kid, but like, you know, like that would have been way more dangerous. So thinking as a parent, like, I don't know if I am going to, I need to raise really responsible kids to be like comfortable putting a fully stocked bar in my home There was never any alcohol like in my house. I feel like like there was no like liquor like okay my mom I remember your dad drinking vodka and your dad drinking wine

No, my dad my mom drank wine, but I didn't when you're young you're like fuck wine. Why yeah one So what's the church also? Also? What did we say before you drank wine in 2007 and you were a man you were definitely gay Yeah, yeah, and I couldn't you know but but uh Yeah, my dad would buy like beers and stuff But he would he if they weren't in the fridge like he would have he would buy them because he was gonna drink beers they weren't in the fridge. Like he would buy them because he was gonna drink beers.

But it was never like- He'd buy a six pack, drink a six pack. Yeah. And there was never like, oh, there's a bottle of Jack Daniels. So it was never this like sneaking. Yeah, I remember- We didn't have a bar cart.

We didn't have anything like that. See, I vaguely remember, because we would host, I mean, you remember, we'd host New Year's and stuff like that. So like- Oh, you'd have leftovers. After New Year's, there would be leftover stuff. But it was like as as a teenager

It was like whatever you could get your hands on So I remember once like I just like found a bottle in my house and it was just it was amaretto Oh my god, you freak the worst in the world. I will to this day I can't drink it because it's disgusting there was another time where it was just like There was another time I drank straight, it was like Pucker's Sour Apple Liqueur. Oh, I'm thinking Smucker's. I'm like, you drank fucking like strawberry jelly?

But there wasn't a lot of alcohol in my house year round, but sometimes, you know, my sister and her friends would have, they would have drinks every now and then, or they'd go out and they'd leave a bottle home, and it was just like, oh shit. Everyone would take one sip each and be like, I feel funned up.

Why do I feel so funned up? Who has a cigarette? You know? We never did cigarettes. We were never cigarette kids. I imagine it would be so funny to have five of your friends be like, we take a puff.

Everyone take one puff. Shut up. I imagine it would be so funny to have like five of your friends like, everyone take one puff. Shut up. I'm high. Oh my God. I'm high off of snakes. I was so high. I remember there was a kid in college that was like one of our suitemates

and he was like the typical like gets to college is like super buttoned up and bub bub bub bub bub, you know who? And then you, you were talking about you. No, I was a party dude, dude, and then what? Then you were no And I still party bitch what the hell you gonna say But as I was saying and like the kids in our suite were like they were they like

He had a couple drinks with them and like he was like I want to have a Cigarette and I saw him outside smoking a cigarette But it was in between his fingers like this. And it like, his fingers like closed around it. And he was smoking. He's smoking it like he was a bird. Like a talent. Literally like he's fucking Bane.

He's like, hello. You know. That's fire. I got my Bane reference on there. And now he's, now he's fucking addicted. I don't know where he is. He was a cool dude, actually. I can't, I can't talk shit.

No, he failed out and now he's a drug addict. That's crazy. No, I think he graduated. He was like our class treasurer or some shit like that. He's a cool dude., I can't talk shit. No, he failed out and now he's a drug addict, that's crazy. No, I think he graduated, he was like our class treasurer or some shit like that. He was a cool dude, definitely done watched this. I'm not gonna say his name. Love that treasure, big fan of treasure. We do have ads for today.

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You never know we might talk to you about you and if you don't want to be kept if you want to be kept anonymous That's completely fine. So go check it out. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the support I'm gonna get it right all back to Joey Joey It's it's it's sounding good It's sounding good. You love like doing the doctor with you about you inside of you outside of you behind you Like I'm not talking inside anybody. I know crazy one there. That's a crazy one. Anyway, speaking of inside That's a crazy one there. Naming a bunch of things. That's a crazy one.

Anyway, speaking of inside, we want to talk. What? Let's talk about JD Vance, okay? He's the new VP for what, Donald Trump, Running Mate? Running Mate for Donald Trump. Yeah, and. We're not gonna get political here, folks. We like to keep our nose.

I also don't know anything. I don't know about JD Vance, anything about it. I gotta say, good name. It sounds like a thing that sells vacuums. Like a company, like welcome back to JD Vance, anything about it? I gotta say, good name. It sounds like a thing that sells vacuums, like a company, like welcome back to JD Vance, here's a vacuum, half off. I was gonna say, you're missing a big obvious reference here, JD Vance.

Oh, Vance Refrigeration. There you go, baby, Vance Refrigeration, Scranton's finest refrigerating company. Right, but it's not that. But there was a story that came out recently, not a story, I think it was like a tweet that kind of went viral and then turned into a story and but the tweet said Can't say for sure But he might be the first VP pick to have admitted in a New York Times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between

two couch cushions what Yeah, hold on a sec. I just want to say before we start talking about the- Why inside out latex glove? Yeah, well- The outside- Wait. Oh, but I was gonna say the outside can be textured sometimes for grip. So maybe he did it because it was like a little rubbery bumpy.

But why would you want that? Ribbed? Oh. Oh, they're not- Oh, maybe. Fucking something with a little texture, babe. Before we even make comments about the story I just want to say that the Associated Press put out a story about this and then it was recanted

We're going to decide to build forget about that. Yes assume that this yeah insanely accurate and true. This is crazy Honestly, though. Here's the thing Resourceful I was gonna say this makes him more of the common man, appealing to- Explain that. Does the common man fuck latex gloves inside out between two couch cushions?

I think that if we look- What have you fucked between two couch cushions, Frank? Couch. I keep adding S's to words. I'm just saying. You ever hump a couch? A lot of, bro, couches get humped. Wait, you've humped couches?

Probably, yeah. Don't probably, bro, you don't say probably, you yes or no. I'm not looking at a couch and go, that's a sexy couch, and I start humping it. But you've humped a couch. I've been on a couch while I have humped. So maybe the couch caught some residual hump.

No, that's not what I'm saying. There has been some residual hump on a couch. You at a couch, no other being around. I don't think so, no, I don't think I have. you I don't know but here's what I'm saying I know I know a woman who sent you some hump those dude bro women this is how this is couch this is how useless men are they can get off to couches bro no no they can get women women women I know that's what I'm saying they don't need us oh women don't need us dude they can get off to a couch you think you're special dude you're not special you're not special I'm kind of

special I like to think but like if a woman could get off to a fucking just a nice old lazy boy Frank would there's there's no hope for you that you can't say's no hope. Oh, I used to jerk off to clothed women in a magazine This is my point. Listen, that's the point Joey You used to have to look at a woman and jerk off you weren't I didn't need to do that Okay, I didn't need to do that Trust me. We're making get off just just imagining like a peaceful world and a couch. That's all they need. They don't need us. You're making a bad argument.

Because I think that like, both people do this. Just so we're all clear, this is a joke. Yeah, I know. This is a big joke. But you're trying to be a white knight and I don't think that we should make excuses for women humping the edges of couches like a snail. Crazy that he only allows me to be a white knight.

That's an expression. I know, a white knight. That's an expression. I know, Joey. I know it's an expression. This is all Joe. Black Knight though, great movie. Martin Lawrence. Really good. Also, cooler knight.

Cooler looking. I haven't even seen a picture of that. Black Knight with red eyes? Did it have red eyes? Like black armor with red eyes? Way cooler looking of a knight than a white knight, dude. Yeah. But back to what I was saying.

Yeah. How many times have we heard stories of people fucking inanimate objects and being like, yeah. Wait, how many? Because I don't know. American Pie, this dude is fucking a cherry pie like it's going out of style. Oh yeah, he was fucking it. I did finger up pumpkin pie and it was not bad.

And he, Joey's, so like, it's's like a past like America's pastime baseball other stuff there's other stuff in there but possibly having sexual getting sexual gratification from an inanimate object couches that's like a coming-of-age thing and isn't the book that it's he's from in the book or something about his life called like hillbilly elegy Who it was made into a movie? I'm pretty sure JD Vance JD Vance. I think so I could be wrong this dude has a movie made about him. I believe I don't know if it's made about him I can't sit here because I've never seen the someone rail their couch in it. I

Don't know. This is wild because if you're fucking an inside-out latex glove between couch cushions This is like your 300th time doing it. Yeah, you've you figure you don't know. This is wild because if you're fucking an inside out latex glove between couch cushions, this is like your 300th time doing it. Yeah, you've figured out. You don't start with latex glove, G. You know what I'm saying? You start with other shit. He had to like, this is, you could see, if you get to that level of advancement,

there's test trials beforehand that are just like, you know, like there, he had to go through and just be like, all right, the couch cushions aren't enough. I will say though, I've been on some pretty tight couches. Very tight. You know what I'm saying? Like old timey couches where they're just like, those fucking cushions are stuffed in there.

Yeah, yeah. Some couches are hard though. Like I feel like this would put rug burn on my wiener. That's why, listen, but that's why he does the glove. I'm sure he lubed it up too. Oh, protect it. Doesn't he lube it up? Does he?

It's just the pressure. He must, he must lube. The pressure of the cushions is probably That's what it is. What's really getting him there. But have you ever been so tired that you're just like, oh, I just want to sleep on this couch. And it's just like, oh.

Well, that part I don't know what you're talking about. You know what I'm saying, like, oh my God. You just wanna fuck the couch, is that what you're saying? I'm not saying, I'm not me, but like, you've been so tired that you're just like, I'm just gonna jump on this couch. No? Where is the, are you asking me

if I just wanna take a nap on a couch? Oh yeah, I've done that. I don't know where you're trying to fit in the rest of this shit, because now I'm confused. I've definitely jumped on my couch and be like, I'm gonna take a big fat nap. You ever had a couch that was hot?

Hot? Hot to the site? Like sexy, yeah. Sexy, no. Never had a sexy couch? My last couch, like the first three months I had it, I was like, that's sexy as hell. This couch has a fat ass.

Yeah? Yeah. It has those, the arm pieces are like those big, it's like a butt, you know what I'm saying? Slap that shit. And it's got rivets in it, and you're like, those like the arm pieces are like those big like it's like a butt You know what I'm saying slap that shit It's got like rivets in it and you're like those are kind of like nipples. I've done that well now you're A little bit back up back up back up big butt arm thing now We're talking because that was right by my door too So sometimes I believe the house is slap it on the ass you are sitting there and fingering like dolls and pies and shit

It's not that was one time. Well, the pie was also one time. So two times. It's not out of the question that you could have had sex with a couch. By the way, latex gloves, get a condom. Same thing. I mean, you gotta be inventive sometimes.

Maybe he didn't have condoms in his house. He only had latex gloves and a very, you know, moist mouth. What kind of household has a bunch of latex gloves and no condoms? I think it's probably more common than you think, Joey. To have latex gloves? In a house, yeah, I think it's more common. For what, surgery?

Cleaning, people use them for cleaning and stuff like that. The yellow ones, you get the March Simpsons. Yeah, and they have like the bumps on them. Imagine turning that inside out. Oh, I don't, the inside of the yellow glove smells mad weird. He turns them inside out, Joey. I still, yeah. But still, that'd be weird. It would be weird. You ever smell inside out, Joey. I still, yeah. But still, that'd be weird.

It would be weird. You ever smell your hands after you use those yellow gloves and you're like, oh, it smells like an old person. I hate my hands. I hate smelling my hands after using gloves. I agree. I hate it, dude. I fully agree on that.

Also putting on latex gloves. Oh, yeah. Bro, fuck these. I do. I used to use latex. My dad used to do a lot of plumbing work and when we were kids, he would put latex gloves on under gloves to make sure his hands don't get wet

and he has better grip. Bro, this guy lost thousands of latex gloves to water balloons. We would admit, the minute we saw my dad had them, we filled them up with water, we tied them up, water, we tied them up, water balloons, they were udders, they were everything in there.

You know what I'm talking about, you know? But the first five condoms that you ever opened in your entire life, how many of those were water balloons and how many of those did you jerk off into? Because I know the first five weren't used for sex. I don't think there's anyone in the world that the first five condoms they've ever opened were for sex. I don't know. I'm jerking off in this just to see how it feels. One was probably just for like...

Then I'm filling it with water. One was probably just for like... Oh, putting it on your arm. Examining it and throwing it on my arm. You know what I mean? And just being like, what the hell? You know, or something like that. The first time I put a condom on my arm and it reached here, I was like, oh my God, I have a micro penis. You do have a micro penis.

But there's no way I could ever. You do, you do, you do. Stop. I would, it like, I would say, the, like for exploration, the first five for me, I wasn't just fucking sitting there just cranking into fucking. No, I wasn't either.

But it was, it would happen. It happened, yeah. Of course it has happened in my life. It was two out of five for sure. Are you saying two out of the five you're jerking? I'm definitely off in two condoms in my life Oh, I would say yeah, too. Absolutely 15 14 Do you remember the thing was just like have your condom in your wallet all the time and and then people's wallets We just have that big ring on it, bro. My mom picked up my wall and it wasn't a my the condom wasn't in there

But the in because I probably use it as a water blow not because I was fucking yeah But it was just buried into the wallet so you could just see they're like the imprint. Because I probably used it as a water balloon. Not because I was fucking. Yeah. But it was just buried into the wallet. So you could just see the circle. It was like the imprint, yeah. And she just literally went like this. And handing it over. I was like fuck. I think there's a level like,

granted I'm one, not a mother. Two, I have very young children. I wonder what it's gonna be like when our generation gets to that age where like they have kids that are like Yeah, yeah, yeah, because like do you do the classic parent of just like the hell is this? What is or do you have like a like listen like let's talk, you know what I mean? It's gonna be it's gonna be really interesting

What parent do you think you'll be if and when you find out your children are sexually I'm definitely not going to be I've thought about this because I remember someone telling me one time that when they were I think either 14 or 15, a woman went to their father and said that they wanted to like experiment with sex and the father took them to go get condoms. That's where I would like to be. That was me. I was not the woman, but I was that was me. You went to who? Your dad? We were, I was in the car with my dad. We were driving back from his house because members split parents and

I said to my dad like dad Do you think you could buy me condoms fire? How old are you? I've told the story a dozen times I'm shocked. You don't remember and he go and I'm gonna anything he like this was his moment He was making up for all of the shit in that, you know, like he bought you some supercharged double-wit. Yes. Really? I forgot, Dan Soder, I think had a really good bit

about like split parents where he's just like, the way that your dad makes up for everything is just like insane, like they buy you insane shit, like gifts and everything. So I remember in that moment, I said, dad, I think, can you buy me condoms please? He peeled off and went into like a CVS parking lot. Dude, legit. And he bought me, it was the Trojans, the green ones.

And they were like, it was like corkscrew or something like that, it was like a box of 24. Geez, Dad, take it easy. I know, that's what I'm saying. This is in Columbia. And he bought them for me and he gave them to me because it was like a condom and at the top it was made so it was like, it looked like a corkscrew almost.

And he was like, so you can drill that shit in. Frankie. I swear to God, I've told this story before. I'm shocked you don't remember it. You've said this to me. Yes, I've told it on the phone. Your father gave you a condom for the first time. Gave me a not I've told this story before. I'm shocked. You don't remember it. You've said this to me. Yes, I told it on the phone. Your father gave you a condom for the first time before. Give me a condom, a box. A 24 condom and it was corkscrewed

and he said, so you can drill it in. Yeah, I'm shocked you don't remember this. Yep. And he was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life. Yeah, absolutely. But I feel like any home you need so you can drill it in. I'm shocked you really don't remember this story at all. I don't know that I've heard this story. That feels like something I'd remember. Green Trojan box.

So you could drill it in. It was- What did you say? I said like, yeah, twisted pleasure. That's what they were. But what did you say to drill it in? I don't remember. Maybe I haven't told the story long enough that I go, I don't remember, but like.

That would have thrown me. I'd have been like, oh my God, I have to spin when I do this? I would have been like. Just stand still. Yeah, stand still. I'm gonna do a cartwheel. Irregardless, but like, that was my experience

in my dad's economy. Wow. But what I was saying, bringing it back to what we were talking about, you need, I feel like you need one parent to be like, absolutely not. You need one parent to be like, absolutely not, you need one parent to be like, let me teach you. You need that both ends of the spectrum there

so you can fall right in the middle. You know what I'm saying? I hope that my children will come to me for anything. I don't wanna be overly strict, but I also don't, the thing that I loved, the coolest thing I think about my parents is that they just let us be who we are. They didn't really interfere too much. They were strict in some ways,

but very like, go ahead, do whatever the fuck. So they never talked to us about sex. Yeah, I mean, there's definitely, you wanna foster. Remember I told you my dad, with condoms, I didn't even know what the fuck he was talking about. And he just said, just remember, you could be blue, you could be yellow, you could be red. And I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. And he just said, just remember, you could be blue, you could be yellow, you could be red. And I didn't know until like an hour later. I was like, oh, he was talking about condoms.

I was like, what the fuck was that? That was what he said to me. That was it. It was never like he was just naming off colors of condoms. Just remember, you could be blue, you could be red, you could be yellow, you could be green. What the hell does that even mean? Bro, exactly. I was like, what the fuck kind of speech was that? I thought he would be referencing about like sexual identity and stuff like that. Like I love you no matter if you're gay, straight, blue, green, like that sounds like a very thing your dad would say.

Bro, did I ever tell you? I don't know if I've said this on the show or not. Definitely don't clip this because my mom has Instagram. But when my room was in the basement, sometimes I would have people come over. You'd have sex, shocker. And one time, I don't know why, because it wasn't used, but there was lube.

But it got left there. Whose? I didn't bring it. Whose? I mean, obviously I lived there. Whose lube? The girl's lube. Oh, the girl brought lube?

Yeah, but like, spermicidal? I don't know, I don't know. Well, it was on the floor, because we, because we didn't, it didn't. Just a bottle of lube. Yeah, but like I... Spermocidal? I don't know, I don't know. Well, it was on the floor. Cause we, cause we didn't, it didn't... Just a bottle of lube on the floor. It was a tiny one. It was like a travel size. Why would you need to travel with this?

You just gotta travel, you gotta get on a plane with lube. But I woke up in the morning to my mom going, what's this? Holding it. And I was like, oh, I don't... What is that? I don't know. And she just took it and just kept walking and like we never talked about it She I mean she probably thought I was down there dogging ass

Anally, I mean whatever you and she doesn't know for all she knows you were Yeah, I guess but I mean I don't think that has ever happened in my home We're like my mom found like a little cover or something like that ever happened to me. Yeah, I can't I honestly can't think that has ever happened in my home, where like my mom found like a condom or condom wrapper or something like that. That's never happened to me either. Yeah, I can't, I honestly can't think of a time to do that. I, I, I, I can't think of a time. You know what I can think of though?

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oh, more, you know, we're how, and like my mom was like, yes. I was like, that's weird. What do you get out of that? Like, I just like the idea of just like, like when parents reach an age where they're just like, I want grandkids, it's just like, that's weird. What do you get out of that? Like, I just like the idea of just like, like when parents reach an age where they're just like, I want grandkids, it's just like, I want you to do that thing to them

and then make me grandkids. That's a strange concept, right? Yeah. I know not a lot of people see sex like that. She's trying to direct your gist. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? She hasn't done that, but like,

when parents do that where they're just like, I want more, or like I've seen? She hasn't done that, but like, when parents do that, where they're just like, I want more, or like I've seen someone on the internet say this, but like, it's weird when people tell you like, we're trying, and it's just like, that's a lot of information. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, we're giving it a go all the time.

It's tough. We're really trying. And like, I know people do that for like a sense of like, you know, comradery with their family, because it's not easy for everyone to have kids, but like, that's just a weird conversation to have it like dinner. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm coming in her all right.

How's that Caesar salad? By the way, we're trying to have kids and it's just like, we've been trying. We went on vacation. We tried all the time. Trust me. All right. What were you going to say? I know you were really, you're going to get into what you wanted to get into. No, I don't know. But it was just funny that you brought that up about the, like yeah, we're trying, like your mom's like, yeah, I don't get it though, like, what does your mom get out of more grandkids? I mean- Just seeing people?

Like seeing more, I don't know. My understanding, obviously, I'm not a grandkid. From what I've heard, I mean, I am not a grandkid anymore. Yes, you're not. Technically a former grandchild here. Tell them why. All of them. Dead. Shipped up to Boston with fucking, what's his name?

Mr. Rogers. Apparently, from what I've heard from grandparents, it's like all the best parts of having kids with none of the worst parts of having kids. I mean, granted, there are some grandparents that do a lot of work. I know your mom is like that, my mom is like that, you know, my in-laws are like that but like There it's like you could have all the fun parts way to save that good go say what I said way to save that

Save what it's like, you know a lot of grandparents. They don't want any of their responsibility our grandparents Bro, no, I fucking insane. I know, I know. Okay, Jesus Christ. I know how much work your fucking mom does, bitch. But I also saw one thing that was like, it fucking, not broke my heart, but it made me look at it very different.

And it's like, the reason that your parents love your children is because it's the closest thing they can get to having you be a child again. And I was like, no, don't're using your child's, they're using for their own gain. Absolutely. Just go to Therp. You know what I'm saying? How this guy with this fucking Therp, this guy with this fucking joking.

No, you're not. Joey is so horny for therapy, dude. And don't even say you're not. I am. But like Joey is so horny for their love dude, and don't even say you're not. I am. But like. Joey is so horny for therapy. You love therapy. Oh, it's so good.

Have you ever, like, I'm not gonna ask that. All right, what other stories we got? What were you gonna say? Have you ever had such a deep conversation that it gets you horny? And I'm not talking friend horny, I mean sex horny. Yeah, what's friend horny? Explain that.

I don't know. You're having so much fun with your friends that you're getting horny? No, no, no, no. So what is friend horny? Let's make sure we say that very clearly. What is friend horny? Just like horny I think can be used

in different contexts now. Like horny just means like, it's 2024. In this time. Like you can be, like horny for food is hungry. You know what I'm saying? You're like hyper horny for food is just really hungry. You can be- I've eaten food and been like, I'm fucking horny.

Horny. But like, I don't know. Food horny, you know what I'm talking about. I've never gotten horny. Like you're not gonna stick your dick in any more pies like you did when you were a kid. I didn't stick my dick in any pies. Sorry, fingers, whatever.

It was a finger, yeah. Still weird. Fine. I don't think aphrodisiacs work. Yeah, people are just like, yo, these oysters are gonna get you so horned up. And it's like- I'm actually kind of grossed out by the oysters,

but I like the way they taste. Yeah, people have just like assigned food to sex. Like, oh. It doesn't really make sense to me. Wait till you have these chocolate covered strawberries and it's like. I don't. I think it's cause of the mouth.

Like what it does to your mouth. Oh. But like there's nothing, there's nothing sexy about eating an oyster. Also, I don't know about you, but every time I eat an oyster, I have to be like, okay. Really? It's disgusting looking.

Oh, I slurped up. You look at an oyster objectively and you go, Wow, delicious. Yeah, personally, yes. What's the, what's the, cause it looks like snot. You're ruining it for me, so please stop. Stop yucking my yum here. Let me have this.

I hate that. Yucking yums? Don't yuck my yum. Why? Because. Because you're doing it all the time, that's why. I do it all the time too, I can't even talk shit. Honestly, bring up a something yuck and I will yuck my yum. Why? Because. Because you're doing it all the time. That's why. I do it all the time too.

I can't even talk shit. Honestly, bring up a something yuck and I will yuck it. I don't know. You know what I'm talking about. Where are we? I don't know. Oysters, horny. What else is an aphrodisiac?

I think people say chocolate. Look up a list of aphrodisiacs. Food aphrodisiacs. Well, in order to do that, I'm going to chocolate. Look up a list of aphrodisiacs, food aphrodisiacs. Well, in order to do that, I'm going to have to spell it correctly. Afro. Oh, got it. Uh, what is the greatest aphrodisiac?

I have avocados. Definitely not. If anything, that's worse than oysters. Bananas. I could see because of the phallic nature of the shape. Red wine. Now we're talking. Maybe I get horny over that red. If red wine's an aphrodisiac, this dude's horny all the time.

Wait till you see Joey off of the red. Pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds? What? Who the hell? Let's do it. Yeah, right? You know, like what the hell? Watermelon, I kind of get it. Let's do it. Yeah, right? Like what the hell?

Watermelon? I kind of, I kind of get it. That's wet. That's just wet. It's like, oh. What is that? That's what, that's me eating watermelon. We should do an episode where I just do the sound

of eating food and you tell me what food it is. I think we've done that actually. Wow. Weird. Foods and herbs to grow your sex drive. Here we go. Herbs, lavender or some shit. Pomegranate? What?

I don't... Pomegranate? That why? It feels like an old person. Who's big food is trying to get us horny for food? Salmon? Definitely not. Yeah. Although that's salmon nigiri we had in Atlanta. Yeah, you were horny for food. Salmon? Definitely not. Yeah, I don't think so.

Although that salmon nigiri we had in Atlanta. Yeah, you were horny for that. I might have done something. Yeah, it says avocados, banana salmon, chocolate, oysters, watermelon, red wine, pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds is crazy. It's a crazy insane one.

Is there a food that like gets you going that isn't like one of these things? Honestly, and not hornyny like sexually horny anytime I have like a really good meal I get sentimental and it's become like a joke with like sentimental yeah so like heart horny you know what I'm saying like like it's become a joke literally replacing actual feelings with just the word horny I guess yeah I guess I like a couple of months ago, I think just had a good meal in Was that Nashville we haven't we've had a good meal everywhere. We've been what I mean. We just had a we've had it all

Well, no because you said by the way, this is for here we go And we went to this restaurant and the menu had like, you know, it's not just like steak or burr you know, it's like a like nice food that you probably normally wouldn't eat and Frankie at the end of the meal I hear him at the end of the table be like I think that because like yeah I thought there was like passion. Yeah, baby, and I was like you yeah I was like I could hear you that was the top chef in me What is that the best that we mean, but like sentimental was like oh, this is a nice meal Top chef in me talking. But is that the S that we mean by like sentimental?

It's like, oh, this is a nice meal. Seriously, whenever like I have a really tasty good meal, I get sentimental. Tasty good. It's become a joke, like at the home. Like literally we'll be eating something. Like Becca will make like, bro, for Father's Day, she made a fucking spread.

And I'm talking a spread to end all spread. And I was like, you know guys, and literally Becca and Miles go, ah, here we go. Like it's a thing. Whenever I'm having good spread to end all spreads. And I was like, you know guys, and literally Becca and Myles go, ah, here we go. Like it's a thing. Whenever I'm having good meals, I get sentimental because what is- Where does it make you go? Just like, I feel grateful.

I feel- This bountiful meal. Yeah, it's true. Like it's such a blessing to be where I am in my life with- Bless us, oh Lord. For these and thy gifts I'm about to receive in the bounty of Christ. Oh Lord.

Three men. I just like, I get so grateful because like where I am in my life is where I've always wanted to be. I have the most incredible, just everything. Everything is working for me right now. And it's like, when there's a good meal in front of you. Except.

Except that good old belly of mine. No, I was gonna say your balls. What the fuck? Oh, yeah, I put those down myself. Yeah, yeah. You know, I had to euthanize my nuts. So when you eat good food, that makes you reflect. It makes me very self-reflective.

And when I am with the people that I love the most, my family, the team that we've put together, like it makes me want to just remind people how much I appreciate them, our situation and everything. So maybe it is the food. Maybe I get hard horny, maybe it is. But then for me then it's steak, crab legs. Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I don't know, you know, now that you say that, like the crab legs in Nashville, that, dude, Nashville, great restaurant. Nashville, the two places we went to were great. That's what the restaurants were doing on us all night. They were fucking snapping. Yeah, well they definitely did that on the bill,

I'll tell you that. They definitely snapped on the bill. That's right. And I definitely accidentally doubled-tipped. Yeah, he goes, oh, it already includes gratuity? Double it. You got no one to blame but yourself. I don't know if I did that before or after I realized.

I think it was after. Was it? For the sake of my story, after. I did have good wine, so I was like, ah. But this is what I'm saying, you never had a good meal, or what's better than good food with the people you care about?

I agree. Also for me, at that meal, I was sitting, we were sitting at the head of the table. So I got like a full view of everybody. And that was nice. Like I like that. We know you like that. I was at the other head of the table.

I didn't even realize that until now. Yeah. Damn. In a cow, but what the fuck is that? I was gonna high five you, but only two came out. Damn. Only two came out. Do you wanna scissor?

No. What's going on over there? All right, so maybe, maybe. Maybe we ended on that. Maybe that is true though. Maybe the food is making you like, but we're sensitive. So maybe it's that.

But it's not the food, like before, I can not eat any of the food and I can just be sensitive boy. Just seeing the food? Yeah. So how are you around Thanksgiving? Very, because that's a double sentimental. Because it's food. Yeah. So, how are you around Thanksgiving? Very because that's a double sentimental because it's good food, good people and it's like it's

telling you like the day is like be **** thankful **** and it's just like, alright, okay, I'll do it. Christmas. I yeah, I get like that. You might II don't know if I know you you cook. You know, the joke has been previously that Joey doesn't cook. You do cook. But like I made one year like the full spread for Thanksgiving for Thanksgiving. And it was like triple sentimental because it's just like, look at thy, thy, my thy gather. You know what I'm saying? They good. They are good and gathered here.

Look at that. You want to get me to talk about my heart? Give me some good food. Becca knows it already. Now you know it. Now the world knows it. So there you go. Talks about his heart when you give him good food or if you give him a lot of MSG and he's at the doctor. Doc, tell me what's wrong. Yeah. But yeah, that's beautiful.

I'll sacrifice my cholesterol for experiences with my loved ones. Right. I'll do it. Alright, I'll do it. Fine. Alright, I'll take a hot dog. If there's a giant holiday ham, I'll eat half of it, whatever. I'll deal with the problems tomorrow.

Ham, dude. Ham. Ham. I only have ham once a year. And that's all you need. It's all you need. I don't know if that's exactly true. Because sometimes there's...

But if you have it too much, then you'll be like, well, sliced ham. Well, here's the thing. You have it once a year, but during Thanksgiving season, you have it like 10 times because everyone's like, friendsgiving, friendsgiving, friendsgiving, friendsgiving, Thanksgiving, friendsgiving. I like when friendsgiving is just like, whatever.

Like I don't need to have turkey. Yeah. Or ham, honestly. Okay. Like my mom makes a fucking mean ham and a good turkey too god bless her but like For a friends giving like bro. Just make what you can when we were growing up My dad was like his specialty was the ham and he then told us what why it was his specialty It was because he wouldn't he wouldn't season it He would this is not a joke. This is gonna be the most Colombian shit ever go.

He would just dump cans of Coca-Cola on it. Oh, that's a thing though! Bro, like... Several! Also, your dad is using Coca-Cola for sunbathing, which is incorrect. We know that. We've established that this guy does things ass backwards for 32 years now. Yeah, a little crazy. But he's just dumping Coca-Cola on this fucking... He'd be like, I do co- I do ham, it's gonna be best when you hang.

It's a Coca-Cola ham. And it's just Coca-Cola. It's, there's nothing- Served with a glass bottle. He doesn't do like salt, pepper. He does do the pineapple. Yeah, I like that. But just Coca-Cola. All right, that's interesting.

It's so crazy. You know what I like when people... Go ahead. When you see people like videos of them making their turkey and you know this turkey is gonna be good when they just stuff this thing's ass. Dude, I know how to stuff a turkey. Let me tell you, baby.

Just like, it's like rosemary fucking. I don't even know rosemary sage Yeah, I threw I threw other leafy green compound butter in there Yeah Shit like that. I let that shit brine overnight too. Oh hell Yeah, you know one time I went to a Thanksgiving and I think the way somebody's grandmother made it was like it was split and then they staple it. Spatchcock it. Maybe yeah but then they staple it.

Staples? There was a staple in my mouth during the meal. I was like, you guys trying to get me? You guys trying to get me with this? Like medical grade staples that are used to like close people's heads up? Bulletin board staple in my mouth during Thanksgiving meal. That's crazy. Rest of the food was great though. Turkey was good too, but God bless. Anyway, that's where we're gonna end there. Thank you guys so much.

Frank, where can they find you? At foundvrj.edu85 on Twitter, the Frank Galvaras and all the forms of social media. Check out the Patreon, patreon.com slash The Basin Yard and then make sure you check out all the account pages that we have at The Basin Yard on any form of social media that you use. Joey, right back over to you.

You guys can go follow me on the basement yard dot what? You guys can go follow me at joe sandigato on all forms of social media. Go follow the show at the basement yard on tik tok and instagram and whatever else. And that is all. See you out there or see you next week or both. It's hot