The Basement Yard - #469 - The Great Debate!

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. You have a big, what's that called? A flapper? No. No. The thing that holds tongue tie? No.

What is that called? The thing that's holding your tongue down. Stick your tongue out. Lift it. No, no, no. Open your mouth. Oh, and that, yeah, see, your your tongue's. Lift it. No, no, no. Open your mouth. Oh, and that, yeah, see? Your tongue's pussy, basically. Don't do that.

No, the clit of your tongue. First of all, put that finger away. I don't know what it is, but you pointing that finger at me is fucking triggering. You think it would feel good if I went like this to your tongue tie? Absolutely not. You want to try? No. I don't want those dirty fucking hands in my mouth.

First of all, I wash my hands a lot. Have you washed it since you've been here? No. Well, there you go. I don't want your fucking dirty ass hands in my mouth. I don't like putting my own hands in my mouth. I've seen you suck your fingers down to the bone. It's different when there's food on them.

Oh, so when you eat and there's just covered in barbecue sauce, you're like, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. First of all, if anyone has anything with barbecue sauce on it and they don't suck their fingers fucking to clean, they're stupid. You clean your hands, all that flavor that's being lost in that fucking napkin.

I don't, I eat the shit that I'm eating. Yeah, and then you're covered in, and then you're just like, this is so good, it's finger licking good. There's a whole saying about it. And then you, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. No. Yeah. No, No no no.

I just... In that fucking household of yours You never had anything that was delicious enough to lick those fucking little piggies you got there on the end of your wrist. Yeah okay. Your mom is a very good cook. Yeah give me a break. But I will say Don't talk about my undertongue.

Why not? It's just like it's a private little petticoat Private do I have a good one? No, yours looks yours does look like a pussy That's kind of fire I want to see your tongue looks like a just a fucking mine's thick. Yeah, you got a thick tongue pussy You have a thin tongue pussy. That's well, you know, I would beat the fuck out of yours Take it easy my fucking first of all, you know pound it's like by ratio The tongue is the strongest muscle on your body might like blue my tongue would fuck your tongue up, bro

Mike if our tongues boxed Yeah, I have a strong tongue. I've tried this like I've done stuff with how would you do? I've like had like paper in my mouth and like I'll hold it in my teeth. Ah a punch through with my fucking tongue You've had paper in your Frankie. You've had paper in your mouth and you've punched through it with your tongue Yeah, so that means you think your tongue could beat the shit out of my you ain't doing anything cool with your tongue, dude I ain't so many sunflower seeds do this thing is like fucking trained like iron mic I eat so many sunflower seeds dude this thing is like fucking trained like iron mic You know how many times- Can you make your tongue stronger? It's a muscle why can't you? Can do tongue ups?

I'm trying to know I don't know You ever look at your tongue like really look at your tongue. Yeah, I'm a little upset by it. It's disgusting Yeah, it is and under your tongue is kind of gross. Under my tongue is way cooler than the top of my tongue The top of my tongue is gross. Can I see yours again. No, let me see your little busy Show me your busy That's kind of crazy to say You got some blue in there, too. There is a little bit of blue. Yeah But I like you like all the food and stuff that get on my tongue I scraped that bad boy and it's still like it's a little I don't have a tongue scraper. I should get that

Probably should yeah I mean a lot of a lot scraper, I should get that. You probably should, yeah. I mean a lot of, a lot of um, I have one, yeah, it looks like, it just looks like a, I don't know how to explain what it looks like. It looks like a baseball diamond, and then you scrape it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, a lot of toothbrushes

now come with like a part of the toothbrush so you can scrub your tongue. Yeah. I don't know. I'm gonna tell you this right now. Do it. I have a pathetic gag reflex. You do. We've tested this quite a bit. I've like brushed, I'll be honest with you,

I don't brush my tongue every day. Oh, neither do I. It's okay, it's all right. I know that you should. This is a safe spot. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna judge you for that. Thank you, I know that they're going crazy right now. Yeah, you know there's some-

Also, bullshit, all of you out there are clicking at your tongue every day. Get the fuck out of here. All these fucking hero dental assistant and people that dental hygienist fuck you I get it I should be doing it But I don't but but it's because I I've almost thrown up in my sink mad times And I thought I had the worst but uh in Scotland on Espos bachelor party I don't know who it was to this day

But I was texting the chat that we were all in I was like who's throwing up in the bathroom? Because my room was right next to the bathroom when I just hear someone like throwing up Yeah, yeah So we were on a bus to go to like a distillery and I was like, yo who's throwing up in the bathroom this morning? No one took credit and then You know zach, right? I've been him a couple times. So zach was just like He's like, I mean I was brushing him a couple times. So Zach was just like, he's like, I mean, I was brushing my teeth,

but I wasn't throwing up. I was like, dude, it's sad. Like he has probably like, he's brushing his teeth and almost vomiting. Dude. Like people that fucking throw down a ton of pee-pees must have great dental hygiene, you know, because they don't gotta worry about any of that stuff.

I don't know if you're throwing a bunch of cocks in your face. I'm just saying like, if there is a correlation between being able to... A gag reflex? A good gag reflex like I if I had a great gag reflex, but mine is not bad. Wait, if you have no gag reflex, is that good or bad? Probably medically bad because I think a gag reflex is meant to like protect you. Yeah.

Like in case something like is going down your throat Yeah, you shouldn't be able to just eat a whole banana in one shot like that's dangerous Yeah, that is a that is a little crazy fire though. Also scary dude. Bananas are fragile You move the wrong way that thing ain't coming back up Dude when those horny Instagram girls make videos where they take a whole banana They're like all I'm thinking about is like yo yo, that could break and you're gonna choke. I'm terrified. You're gonna choke.

You're gonna choke. I have, why have we not figured out like if people are choking to just shove the, like something that'll just shove the food all the way down. That would be very, I mean, it's shorter to come this way, no? Yes, but like if it's lodged this way and it's not coming up this way,

it's like, all right, second plan is just up this way. He's like, all right second plan It's just throw it back. Yeah, like a like a pipe cleaner and just yeah Yeah, just like a reverse plunger like a snake a snake a throat snake, right? You know, it doesn't need to be a big one. That's on like the fucking that people put on the drills and shit like that Yeah, but like a throat snake So when someone's choking you can just fucking get it in there and just put a snake And you need those plumber gloves You know which one I'm talking about like yeah like cloth gloves that are like conductors gloves. Yeah, he's like

Yeah, but a snake snakes up, but a snake pushes through in order to pull out This whole conversation is crazy. Yeah, no, that is terrifying. They do make a plunger for like a baby's face. I've seen that. We have one. We have that. The life vac?

God forbid. Bro, I've seen TikToks of that. God forbid. Went down a rabbit hole and I was like, this thing is sick. Bro, God forbid we have it in the house. May I never have to use that ever in my life? But I think, um, be vacuuming my child if they're choking. Well, I think, I think what's his name? Uh, the situation from Jersey shore. I think he had to use it and

they used him as like a pro, like a promo, bro. Let me tell you something. I went down a rabbit hole of parents using having to use the life vac. It's so scary. I don't, I'm, I, I, whatever, listen, I value whatever- No, no, no, no, no, hold on, hold on. You're gonna like it. I just wanna say something really quick. I value you and whatever you say normally.

As a parent, currently, I don't wanna hear any of this. No, it's good. Okay. What do you think I'm gonna say? There's dead babies I'm watching videos of? No, no, no, just, alright, go ahead. But like, I, even the idea of my kid like choking and me saving them, I don't want that to ever happen. No, it's good. Okay. What do you think I'm gonna say? There's dead babies. I'm watching videos I'll just alright go ahead But like I even the idea of my kid like choking and me saving them. I don't want to happen

I don't want that to happen. No one's wishing that upon you. I know you're not wishing but I'm superstitious There's a superstitious here. Okay, but I'm not like saying anything about that I'm saying I've seen videos and one thing I wanted to say is that obviously that's a very scary thing to the point where This kid doesn't want to talk about it Because he thinks that like I don't know magic tricks in the air Wait, you have fucking kids Joey. So so No, but the thing that I wanted to say is that Like

some of these parents are so gangster like Clearly like something's going on that is like high stress, whatever, and like, you just see like, either the father or the mother, like, getting up realizing one of the parents is usually like kind of frantic,

and the other one just... Baby's good. It's like, whoa! A lot of... It's so cool. And I can't say a lot of. That's not cool. I'm saying it's cool. I cool. I'm saying the parents gonna

Fucking get shit done. Yes Standing on business, you know what I'm saying don't ever ever do that again, okay, I Can't speak for most households, but I can say in our household. Who's the panicker? most of the time me household. Who's the panicker? Most of the time me. That makes a lot of sense. Most of the time I'm the panicker.

But there's like a weird like, if someone, if their immediate reaction is to panic between Becca and I, the other person's reaction is just to be like, I got this. Yeah. You know, so like there have been instances where like something has happened in Becca panics and I'm like, you know.

You have to. And vice versa. You know what I mean? So there's just a weird, like it's just a feeling and there's like a dynamic in the home that like, in that moment you know your role and shut your mouth. Know your role, shut your mouth. I know, I know, the rock, yeah I know.

Dwayne The Rock Johnson. But like there's just an unwritten like dynamic when it happens, one person knows like this is my time to panic, the other person's like, I fucking got this. Right. And most of the time I'm the panicker. If, and also I think if I'm alone,

I'd be way more prone to panicking for anything. Yeah, dude. But when there's, yo, even, do you remember when I almost blew up my apartment? Yes, I do remember that. Because I put the mug in it. Yeah, the mug, yeah. I put a mug that had a metal thing in it

and it looked just like a mug that didn't have that. It was the ones that heat up on their own. On like a little hot plate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I put that in the microwave because I was gonna make hot chocolate. Yeah. And it fucking went up in flames.

And the whole, and like I was watching TV and I don't even know why I think I heard something and I look over at my microwave and there's just going and I was like huh and immediately I got like scared and I think Charlie knew I was scared so he started panicking and all I needed was that to be like I must save this place because I think I would have just ran out of there I am threw into the balcony. Yeah off the balcony too. No, I did I threw it just on it on I remember like we recorded that day and I showed up and you were telling me because it smelled like it smelled like fire

Probably and I remember and you were like or it was the night before yeah Okay, cuz I wasn't gonna judge you for making hot chocolate at 10 a.m. In the morning No, but I remember and you were like yeah, look it's right there. There was just a melted cup Yeah on your back. Yeah, cuz it was fine. It was a fireball. I'm the type also were like something Startling happens. I can't just be like alright. It's done. Let's immediately laugh and smile about it I need to like I get to a level of like fight or flight that my brain is just like a fucking firing

on all cylinders. And then I need to like gradually come down. Like I need to be left alone and like no one talked to me. Really? Yeah, when we, we had an incident last, I'm pretty sure it was last summer where we were at Becca's parents' house and we couldn't find Ruby.

I remember this. We couldn't find her. Spoiler alert, we found her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As you can tell. But she was hiding like, and she'd probably fallen asleep in my in-law's bed behind the pillows.

But. You know what that reminded me of? What? Remember when Keith ruined manhunt because he fell asleep in a fucking bush and no one could find him? Like you ruined the fucking game and he's like, find me. And Ruby's doing the same thing to you guys years later.

But I like afterward, I had to be left alone. I needed to calm down and chill because I can't just be like, all right, it's done. And I thought honestly, it was just me, but then I talked to Greg about this because there was an incident a couple months ago where Maeve in the house, we had mopped the floors and she slipped and hit her head on the floor.

And I said to like, you know, we made sure Maeve was okay, like, you know, nothing lasting or bad. And I said to Bekah, I was like, I need to just like go in the other room for a little bit. And I told Greg about it Maeve was okay, like, you know, nothing lasting or bad. And I said to Becca, I was like, I need to just like go in the other room for a little bit. And I told Greg about it and he's like, yo, like it's not just you. I'm like, really? He's like, yeah.

He's like, there have been instances where like Iris has like, you know, tripped and scraped her knee or something and I start punching walls. I'm like, I don't do that, Greg. Yeah, right? I was like, I wanna throw that out there. He's like, really? I was like, yeah, but the same general sentiment,

like it's just like, I get so like, here I go, you know? And then I need to just like fucking ease out of it. Like I need to be like ironed, like a nice, beautiful blanket. I don't think you iron blankets. You can, all right, maybe not a blanket, you know what I'm talking about, but like. Can I ask you a question that's completely unrelated

to the story you just told? I'm afraid to say yes but I will what's the difference between a blanket and a quilt quilts are old-timey and they suck that's not the right answer I mean I know but I'm telling you what my perceived answer is good I'd rather have a blanket a thousand times over than one fucking quilt. Because what do you think? I'm laying on some like ceremonial bed where there's like little pictures on my blanket?

No, I want a nice comfy blanket that keeps me warm and maybe even a little cold. You want a blanket that keeps you cold? But like it has like that material, like almost like down material where it's like it's cold to the touch, but it keeps you warm. You know what I'm saying?

Like a controlled cold. Got it. I understand what you're saying sort of fuck quilts though Yeah, I mean Close your eyes. I got a quilt for you You're not happy. I imagining a lot of patchwork and like frilled. Yeah, I don't want that shit Yeah, I want like a very Betsy Ross something. No, no hell no Do you guys have it? You probably have this, but like do you have anything that's like, Oh, this is my special blanket. Like when I was a baby I had it so I keep it still. No, I don't. No, I don't. Does Becca have?

No. I think Shannon has. I mean, you know, a lot of kids, like Ruby has, we call it her cozy, and it's like a little like, it's not a blanket, it's like this big and it came with like a stuffed animal on it and the stuffed animal's gone and it's just like a little like it's not a blanket It's like this big and it came with like a stuffed animal on it and the stuffed animals gone And it's just like a little flowery thing that she just holds and it brings her comfort But like I knew people like that that like had their like childhood blanket and shit like that right Yeah, you know what I had as a kid. I was never a big blankie kid and I never like you know like stuffed animals, but My like comfort thing was I had a mommy shirt and a daddy shirt

And my mom what do you mean? It was my mom's shirt that I took and it was like my comfort thing and saying you were wearing your mom's shirt I wasn't where I I'm sure I did wear them, but like it was just like to carry around and have as a comfort thing So it was mommy shirt and daddy shirt and have as a comfort thing. So it was mommy shirt and daddy shirt. Just fucking guys cross-dressing as a kid? What the fuck? What did you have, bitch?

I don't know. Exactly, nothing. You were in the fucking basement. Not yet, I was still upstairs at that point. I was doing front flips off at the top bunk. Joey, I don't know if you saw, there was the first presidential debate for the anticipated election that we're having in November here in the United States.

I forgot that the debate was on and I was like, it was like nine o'clock or something and I was like getting ready to go walk Charlie and because I usually take him out around eight so it's like nine so I'm like, oh shit, So I better take him out, but then I realized the bait was on Didn't have walking this dog until like 1030 cuz I was like I have to watch this I put it on dude Some unbelievable stuff coming there was some did you watch it? I saw I didn't watch it. I didn't I didn't want to Visually, let's agree on something. Okay, Donald Trump needs to stop with the face paint, dude. It's a little tough. It's not even close anymore.

It's not even like he has, there's no more plausible deniability. It's just like obviously, and there's not, I mean listen, everyone wears a little makeup and cover up and stuff. They all do. He goes from white to Garfield. Bro, it starts bro. It starts here It's like where his eye ends is one color and then it's just come on. I can see you're old here. Yeah Listen, we're not gonna get into the politics of you know where we stand, you know, it was no politics. I know

The Trump used to be entertaining to watch Because it was kind of funny like the way he'd poke the bear and shit like that and Just like some of the shit he'd say it has gotten to a point of just like Full like it sounds like a lot of it is just kind of Delusion at this point. I well, yeah, I mean, I mean the whole the whole event is Just nuts bro and Kamala was she wanted to call him like a motherfucker So bad. Yeah, like there was one clip that I saw where she was Just like and this former

She was like and this Former president, you know, like she wanted killing her she wanted to like cock back and just fucking backhand this motherfucker, bro It's such a weird Just a weird thing. Also, I wanna read a quote here, my favorite quote from the night. Oh, you have some quotes. Well, it's just the one that like went super viral now

on TikTok and you're seeing it all the time. But he said, in Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in, they're eating the cats, they're eating the pets of the people. And this what's happening in our country, and it's a shame He's referring to Haitian migrants by the way. They're coming in. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the pets They're eating the cats and dogs yeah, and at one point he was just like Kamala said she wasn't black and now she's black It's like Kamala said she wasn't black and now she's black.

We're just like what? There was another line that I don't remember who said it or well, obviously you could probably narrow down who said it but it or someone else might have said it around like the conversation of the debate but it was just like the aliens in prison are getting trans surgeries. Oh my God, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's been so many people like

posting like pictures of like the xenomorph from Alien and ET and like you know uh cross-dress. What he said, where's the quote? Now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens who are in prison. I don't, how is that even an actual sentence? How is that a thing that's being said? Like that's a wild sentence. I also can't figure out what it means. So the aliens, obviously they're referring to migrants. That's what they're referring to as aliens. You know, apparently the Dems, dirty Dems,

are paying for them to get transition, in prison? Transitioning surgery in prison? Damn. Dude, if you're in prison, I feel like that's the last thing you need. I have a question. Go ahead.

If you're in prison, so you're an illegal alien here, okay? Okay. Yeah. You're in prison. I am. I pay for you to get, you know, top surgery, bottom surgery surgery whatever one you want

Why am I getting it in the well? That's what that's what they're saying is happening. Do you then get? Transferred transferred to be with your yeah, you can't be enough my old ten defied Yeah Because I don't know that's a tough question right. I don't know well. I do know if it was me any if I even if I wanted to transition to Have like top sergeant. I'm not coming back to a male prison with tits now. That's not happening Oh, those those tits will get banged to hell. It's a wrap for my tits dude. Your tits are getting

Throttled. No, I'm not doing that. That would be, you know, I'm putting a target on my chest. For funds, would you get like breast implants just to play with your own tits? Um, yes. I've never been put under and I'm scared. Oh, that's why? Well, that's the start, like the starting part. A big part of it is, that's not the not the big part of it is I'm not putting Tits on my body for no reason so that I could do this

This is pretty cool. You look like you're having a blast. I am having a blast. Yeah No, I mean, it's just entertaining like what do other people from other countries look at us and think you know what? I mean like at what point are they just like is it just for entertainment purposes at this point? I think so. It's like a car crash. Because it used to be like a debate on policy and now it's like, she's not even black. Yeah.

It's awesome. I don't know enough about Kamala Harris to make any sort of statement about that. I think she's black and Indian. There was also something that was like, I have the concepts of a plan That's another one that's going all over the place Yeah, I forget what that was about. I was watching that concepts of a plan is so

Incredibly like yeah, it's like okay That was like Kamala Harris is earring It then someone so it was like her earring, like whatever the fuck it looked like. It was like a pearl and like a gold thing. And then right next to that,

it was like someone posted this, like right next to that was this like advertisement for like a microphone. So people were like, yo, she's getting fucking answers in her ear. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. They think she was cheating. Kamala's cheating on this thing

like it's a fucking SAT test which I did cheat on Cheated on the SATs she well, no, I mean it didn't get a good Joe you cheated yourself into a fucking like 600 No back then it was it was out of like 21 I don't remember because I recently told someone my score and they were like no way and I was like I guess I Misremembering like I I don't remember what this score because then they were just like we got to do away with Standardized testing of course after we took it of course they got to do that after right yeah, of course You know and then it was like oh

We're only counting two of the three or three of the four and it's just like I shouldn't need to do Percentages in order to understand my score. I got a 1480, but it wasn't out of 1600 Yeah, cuz I remember I told someone I was like I got a 1500 and they were like, holy shit Yeah, but then I was they were like was that both parts or three parts and I was like I thought it was good Like the way it was like originally they were just like I think it's like very very okay, like the score that we got Possibly if you had a 1500 and you go to UNH. What does that mean, bitch? It's not, like you could have gone to a better school.

I chose the school I wanted to go to. The hell does that mean? You could have went to a better school if you got a 1500 out of 1600 on the SATs. I could have gone to any school I wanted. The fucking world was my oyster, okay? Don't you ever forget about it. Don't understand that expression, by the way.

I don't either, I guess because you can hold an oyster in one hand. I can hold anything, like most things in my hand, right? That's why I pick my oyster so disgusting. It's not also. I didn't know actually I did know this but I didn't realize how like Whatever. What's the thing that has pearls clams? Don't oysters. I don't know. I think oysters maybe oysters. Maybe they're clams too. But like they actually have pearls Yeah, where the fuck are you? I know stupid no

I knew that they had that but I like when I saw like a video of someone like opening it up and like I'm Like wow, it's like just looks like a pearl done like it. I thought they're like Shit though. They're like they got to like squeeze them out of their fucking butts or whatever. They got in there You've never seen people they like do clams fuck each other They got in there You've never seen people they like do clams fuck each other Dude I know that's gonna stupid question, but you don't think about that our claims fucking other reproduce Let's see clam penis right now. Yeah, go ahead I think maybe they just release some shit in the water and then it like for lives clams. How do clams?

reproduce there it is Releasing eggs and sperm into the water god damn or a sexually through her mafrot ism crazy these are the aliens is it you got the clams in prison getting section there a prison in their own shell that's what it is damn so they they make their own wait how though they're just like you know what? I'm gonna do my own kids. But where does the shell come from? The shells I think it forms around them Or maybe they fuck dude. This is so crazy. I don't fucking know right?

I don't know is it like hermit crabs where they go and they find a sick pad and they're like oh shack up here here we go Yeah, that's right like yeah, cuz those are given birth to like crabs And then crabs got to find their own little rocks like their own thing like like turtles are born with shells and they have to Form yeah, so like so so so so pearl So what are they called clams and scallops and oysters? They're like you know what I'm gonna make this for myself bro this is fucking crazy so what happens is clams will spit jizz in the water yeah right yep external fertilization then there's some free swimming the free swimming stage gotcha for five to sixteen weeks right so like

there's just so the ocean is basically mostly just clam come I Don't know the the percentage yeah, but then I think they just form into Like they eventually get this just naturally just no someone's got to accept it There has to be a host They are the they're so they're not shooting out Oh, I guess they are sperm because sperm is alive and then they bond to the water and they're just like, you know what? Make a I'll make a rock out of this clam right now. Yeah, that's kind of not and then it ends up on my plate And then I eat it in a nice white wine sauce gonna say a seared scallop. Oh

What's up, nope you ever had a set like a scallop? Oh. What's up? Nope. Have you ever had a scallop crudite or tartare or anything like that? Isn't crudite like... Are you thinking, yeah. I might be, yeah. Yeah, I thought crudite was just like celery and...

Probably. You know what I mean? You just like dip it in shit. Well, have you ever had it with scallop? I know this because I went to a restaurant and I ordered the crudite and it was just Just vegetables? Like radish, like whatever, but no dip.

I love radish. I'm like why would I order this with no dips? Give me the dips. Yeah, yeah, you need to dip it up. Give me something to dip in this. I agree, there needs to be a little bit of dip. Yeah. Crazy, I never know.

You ever open an oyster? You ever shucked your own oyster? I think so. Some motherfuckers are in there, bro. They're in there, dude. Bro, and also some oysters... disgusting looking. Dude. Well, most of them are disgusting looking, but others are when you're like,

okay, what happened to that one? Dude, years ago, um, for, I don't remember if it was Becca's birthday or what, but I went and I bought oysters. And I went to, and I got like a shucker to shuck them at home so her and I can have like oysters You know with our dinner or something like that and I the first one I opened up that pooping it No, there was a live crab in it in it In it that's kind of like sick, but also scary and I just I threw out the whole batch

You're more likely than you think I find something alive in my fucking oysters. I'm going that's was a mistake But I didn't throw it out in like the garbage we lived that's when we lived on the water I went in the back and I just dumped them in the water So they might have lived a very healthy life or they might have got gobbled up by somebody else I mean this crap was doing a number on one of them do how to get in there I have no idea, but like I I think years later or actually recently I brought that up And they were just like oh, that's like a delicacy, and I was like it looked like a little spider

Like it looked like it was like a like a young spider It's just a Just a baby boy spider. A baby boy spider. And I was just like, how is this thing just living in there? And they were like, sometimes that happens. The whole $70 down the drain. You know, I also couldn't, I didn't even think about this. Crabs, they can spend all of their time underwater. I think so, crabs. But also land?

Yeah, they're crabs. They probably need to go back in and just check in. But are they a double breathing thing? They're crustaceans. I know that's not the right term. Well, you ever see them blow bubbles? Like Krabby and Kingler? They can blow bubbles.

The Pokemon, yeah. Oh, I know the Pokemon. But I feel like are you describing an attack? There's also Crab Brawler. He's another Pokemon. Can crab breathe on? They have gills. Yeah, I've seen I've seen their gills. I've seen them. They're there. You've seen a gill? Yeah, we've gotten like blue shell crabs and we have to like cook them and open them and clean the gills out and shit Bro, this is crazy. They can they can oh it depends on the type, but I think they could just Spend the whole I guess that's not crazy

But I will say crabbing kind of fun. I've never miles tells me all the crap Yeah, I mean you can't see pull them out, and there's a cage of crab and they're like oh, how do I get in here? Cuz they're like eating like a little stupid fish you ever see you fuck the fish did you ever see the video of Gordon Ramsay going crabbing for colossal king crab Those are big mothers dude He goes into like I don't remember where if it was like freshwater or what? I'm presumably saltwater because you know crab and he digs down and he's like yo, they're an infestation you look around Millions of them. I can't do that million and he picks one up and this thing is like this dude

Can't do that million and he picks one up and this thing it's like this dude You got to look that shit up my guy goes down there takes a bunch and he fucking gets out of there Well, he dove he dove I'm not diving he dove and he was the guy said he's like you got to be careful because like They'll grab you they'll take off fingers. No way. Have you seen the size of these things, dude? I'd have to wear a Well, he's male. He's like he's like I have? I'd have to wear a, uh, all-heem-mail. He's like, he's like, I have to wear, I have to wear, this is Mike Gordon Ramsay. He does repeat a lot. I have to wear, I have to wear, I have to wear, have to wear, um, a wetsuit,

because if I don't, they're gonna buy off my digit, you know? My digit? That's his thing. I know. You know what I'm saying? What is he talking about? His cock, brother. Got it, we do have ads for today by the way We have ads for today the first one being better help you guys want some online therapy

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Go check it out, thebasementyard.com slash submit. Thank you to all you guys for consistently supporting us. It warms our heart and our barnacles. I'm not going to tell you where those are, but you can imagine.. Back to you Joe. What is a barnacle? It's like a living organism. It's like it's like a wart on these fucking... On whales? I don't know if it's on whales. It's on like crustaceans. Like I've seen so many videos of people like, alright, I don't know why they're all British. That sounded Australian to me. Whatever they are.

But like they get a, what's it called, like a lobster. They get a lobster, like a big motherfucker, and they're like, we're just gonna clean these barnacles off because they're probably bothering. You ever see barnacles? They're like the little like volcano thing, and in it there's a little, it fucking freaks me out, I hate that.

People eat them, you eat them? I hate that shit. You eat a barnacle? I don't think you can eat a barnacle. I don't think they're very good. If people have maybe. Bro, think about this. You know what I think about?

My turn. There's a parasite that will go into a fish's mouth, cut off its tongue, and then be its tongue. And then, and then anytime the fish eats, the fish doesn't eat, the tongue eats. It's crazy, dude! It's crazy! What the mother fuck are you talking about? Tell me what you fucked up.

How do I even look that up? Parasite that becomes the tongue? Parasite fish tongue. Parasite fish tongue. Alright, hold on, we're gonna get to the fucking bottom. Parasite becomes tongue. All right, we're gonna get to the fucking bottom parasite parasite becomes fish tongue Told you I told you Simon Thor eggs go ah that's a good one

That probably means something offensive in some language that I don't know Yeah, no, we're gonna we're gonna get it We're gonna it like cuts off the tongue and it becomes the tongue and it's just like yo like it enters a fish Through the gills the female attaches to the tongue while the male. This is a Bonnie and Clyde situation shit really and they're going in They're robbing the bank together. Yeah, so the the female goes Attaches herself to the tongue of course Yeah I'll distract them. I'll make out them. Yeah, exactly fucking little fish tongue make it a whatever didn't even

Female attaches to the tongue while the male attaches to the gill arches beneath and behind the female. Oh shit Damn, he's dogging her shit What's going on in the fish mouth? damn, can these guys do this to me? they're fucking double humping your tongue you little fucking fishy bastard arch it, hold on let me go back show them how you arch your back

wrong, oh my god there's pictures bro, you're right I told you it's called simothoa ex-gua that's not it Okay, so the female attaches to the tongue while the male attaches to the gill arches beneath and Behind the female starts gets in gets in business position the parasite severs the blood vessels in the fish's tongue

causing the tongue to fall off so that's kind of like in tongue causing the tongue to fall off. So that's kind of like in Ocean's Eleven when you like go into the sewer and cut off the electricity. Yeah. And then the camera shut off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they do, except the tongue falls out. The tongue falls out.

It's like when they say like Thai floss over like a fucking skin tag or something. Eventually it just dies and fall off. Exactly. Fucked up, this poor fucking fish. It then attaches itself to the remaining stub of the tongue and the parasite itself Effectively serves as the fish's new tongue crazy, dude. Fuck the ocean. Wait, where's the female? She's still there of course. What do you think? Oh, did they become one?

I think that they're just like together many of the species have been identified the only Cymethoid isopods that are known to consume and replace the host's organs. Crazy, dude. Fuck you, Ocean. Wow. I know who- I know you're listening. Pacific, Atlantic... Bro. For obvious reasons, I'm not gonna say fuck the Indian Ocean because that would be...

Yeah, I mean, don't say that. Don't you say it! Arctic, fuck you double because you're cold. Very cold. I'll say the Atlantic's you say it! Arctic, fuck you double, cause you're cold. Very cold. I'll say the Atlantic's cold too. But fuck all you guys. They're all cold. And everything you got going on inside ya.

The Mediterranean Sea is nice, it's warm. I've heard, but it's a sea, not an ocean. It's fair. But all the oceans are probably like, so cold. Frogs and toads. Because there's so much water, dude. You ever see that TikTok? What are the oceans? Pacific, Atlantic.

Atlantic. I almost said ocean. Arctic. Arctic. Indian. Indian. Is that it? Four. I think there's six. I think there's four.

Really? Look them up. How many oceans are there? That's a good question. I think there's four. Five. What is Adriatic? No, I guess a stupid guess Adriatic

What is um? No, there's it says four I guess. Oh, there's a new one the Southern Ocean fuck you You just fucking decided you want to be a you taken from the other rest of these hard-working oceans You think you're just gonna come on our planet and take your own for these hard-working oceans and call it yours the aliens Are getting trans surgeries? Our neighbors have to be like what the hell goes on The Southern Ocean is the newest named ocean I don't But I don't even know where this bitch is. That sounds like a racist ass ocean. Oh, it's down by the bay.

Where the watermelons grow. Back to my home. I dare not go. For if I do. Oh, it's off the coast of South America my mother will say the Arctic was down there that is a no art you know I know the Arctic is now on top it's a it's not flat you understand oh hot take oh he's lost three viewers what did he say yeah got him to you

Simon though eggs go can we I'm gonna type this in see if we can get a pronunciation How do you pronounce this Okay, bro, I think I was right Exit I wasn't Exeggcua Exodia Simothoa Exigua Exigua Exodia Simothoa Exigua Simothoa Exigua

Exigua sounds pretty cool Damn that's like a cool like name This is my son Exigua Crazy I don't know how this transitions or why I made me think of it Nicocado, avocado.

Why are you saying it like that? That's how you say it. Say it again. Nicocado, avocado. Toh, kapatoh. Oh yeah, I did it, I did it. Dude, for those of you guys that haven't seen, Nicocado.

Frankie, say it in your normal. How do I say, how do I say? I don't know. I'm serious, I'm not, this isn't a bit. But you're putting on an accent. Nicocado. No? But say avocado. I'm not fun. This isn't a bit but you're putting on an accent Nico Cato No, but say avocado say the whole fado. Yeah, Nika Cato. Yeah, but you say Nika Cato at the photo You like do these like hard DS

Nico Cato avocado. There you go. Okay Did I even say it right? I think so. Okay For those you guys who don't know who that is, they're like a mukbang influencer. Yeah. He- YouTuber. YouTuber. Did a lot of mukbangs.

Lots of mukbangs. Just tons of bangs of muck. Bangin' muck. Yeah, like definitely bangin' a lot of muck. And like crazy shit too. Yeah. Like, as a result of all the mukbanging gained like 300 pounds He was banging the muk and then the muk time. Yeah, the muk the muk bang them right back. You make them right back. Yeah and

Put out a new video like a week and a half ago of him as his very large self And then the next week put out one that was just like I'm two steps ahead or some shit Yeah, he was wearing a panda head. He yeah He was also because he had lost 250 pounds more than two steps probably several hundred thousand steps Yeah, I would say ten thousand steps a day at least And like lost all this weight and apparently had filmed all the banging of mucks, right? in like a month time Previously filmed bangs and then all those he put the bangs out every day or every week and now is just like in

Incredible shape. Yeah, he like lost a bunch of weight now 250 pounds. Yeah, it's kind of wild Honestly, thank God good for him. Yeah, I'll be honest with you I think I've made this comment on this podcast before but seeing his videos like genuinely upset me Yeah, cuz I'm like this is like and I'd like you can tell that he's like doing a character when he's like doing it He's making it more ridiculous than it is, but you're still eating all that Here's the thing that gets me is I love food. You know me I love food. I You know me, I love food. Anyone, no matter who they are or what they look like, eating food to that degree, it's disgusting to me.

Like Joey Chestnut, I love hot dogs. Disgusting. Absolutely gross human being. It depends on the food, it depends on the food. Also, what the hell is with his jaw? This guy's got a jaw like fucking. He's got stuff Something's going on you might there is something going on with Joey chestnut careful. They'll come for you whoo Joey chestnut

What is he gonna do eat your fingers? Yeah, no, I mean I'll be honest with you I I'm not a big banger of muck, right? I'm not into that. But for whatever reason, and this is just, listen, this is the content that shows up sometimes in my TikTok, but this one I don't mind for some reason. It's, I need to hear this. I don't know what he's talking about, so. I'm glad we're learning this today.

Sometimes my, you know your algorithm goes in and out of things sometimes? Yes. But when I get to food, it always kind of circles back to, to uh, black women just eating the shit out of like crab legs. And dipping it in a bowl that is the biggest bowl I've ever seen. Biggest bowl that you've ever seen and also the most butter that has ever been in a bowl Dude I will say this

I'll give Black women have that fucking market corner Corner In a scared little corner Absolutely Please Before as I was saying I can't see people eating that food it's disgusting That's the exception to the rule

Asians have the noodles They crush noodles Dude I'm saying The mukbang, the mukbang. Tiptoe. I'm not tiptoeing. Tiptoe ever so lightly here. Bro, every single time. If I see a black woman dog and crab, I'm pumped. I know. But then, so there's these, so I don't understand what's going on in the video because

I can't read any of the language or whatever But it's usually these tiny Asian women and they eat the most Food and then there's big eggs There's like seven eggs and she eats all the eggs to a lot of eggs. Where does it go? I don't know. How is she eating all that? I don't know dude I do not know but and I love the little they have a like a scoop Spoon the ones like you get it like I love those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hear what you're saying those I've stolen a couple of those spoons. I'll be honest. It's crazy, but I don't really know What the whites have cornered?

Racism no no no in mukbang. Oh and mukbang. I don't think I mean clearly hot dogs look at Joey chestnut this dude He's got hot. He's got hot. Yeah. Yeah, he's got hot dogs begging for life. That's true. That's what I'm saying yeah, you know, but I Gotta admit I'm like a little part of me is just like proud of Nikocado avocado a little I mean anyone who loses fucking 200 pounds. That's like insane, dude I was one of those people just like yo this guy is like killing himself for our entertainment Yeah, not even I'm not like watching it. So like I imagine his fan base Yeah, and now he's just like but I will say this the whole like

I'm one step ahead like yeah, are you being dramatic? Yeah, it's a little need the theatrics. That's from me King theatric Yeah Yeah, that is that is from him, it's a little you don't need the theatrics. That's from me King theatric. Yeah Yeah, that is that is from him. That's a big statement coming from you You just don't need it there like you you're supposed to be spooky or cool Yeah, you're like whispering and making like your Darth Vader like are you gonna like kill us? Oh Darth Vader James O'Jones Crazy that guy's voice yeah Darth Vader? Yeah, alright PR boy. Oh, James O'Jones. Literally as I left here I heard it the other day. Yeah. I was very upset.

Crazy that guy's voice. Yeah. Don't. That was my impression. That was horrible. It was. We do have some sponsors for today. We can't get out of here without talking about them.

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Okay, so go enjoy that. What were you talking about? We have like out of first no reason outside of just pure happenstance Have spoken about tongues on two different occasions in this episode When we're talking about so talking about our strong tongue thing under our tongue your tongue, but pussy whatever you call it Oh, and then the tongue and parasite that's crazy. then the tongue, parasite. That's crazy. Yeah. And now we're talking about Nikkata Vukavutu. Yeah, remember, they would, I remember,

like we were around, but they would always say, like in ancient Egypt, they would cut off people's tongues when they wouldn't talk and stuff like that. Yeah. That's crazy, right? It's also gross. I feel like the tongue would bleed a lot. Well, yeah, I don't think they're doing it for...

Yeah, you gotta be crazy to be able to cut a tongue off or a finger off. Like if I needed to cut my finger off because to save my life or something. What finger are you going with? Pink's. I was gonna say. Maybe the ring finger? I would say that, you know, not my wedding ring finger,

but like this one, I would I you could take it I don't give a fuck about it even a middle finger. I don't care I can lose a middle finger if any yeah actually maybe the middle finger Yeah, if anything it's worse to get flipped off by someone who doesn't have a middle finger there because it's just like There's a story there story there actually a maybe the middle finger I would I don't know, but I don't think I could do it because I'd be gross out I'd be like well both middle. I mean you wouldn't know but I don't think I could do it cuz I'd be grossed out. I'd be like well both middle I mean you wouldn't saw it Joe you'd have to just like fucking sis ice it You know make it like one big swat one big old swing, you know, just like that and just fucking

Ow, why did I do I don't know? Yeah, I think so you would have to just like slam it Middle finger, right? But I would be grossed out like I don't want to look at it. Like, patch it up and then I'm good. Oh, like you wouldn't want to see your severed finger? I kinda would. I'd want to see it and just be like, bye buddy. I would keep it in like a glass case above the mantle.

Oh, you already have a mantle. Here lies my fucking middle finger. Yeah, you know you just lean on it and drink whiskey and look at your old finger This is gonna sound fucking stupid, but like I get sentimental with stuff like that You know fingers well like my own stuff You know what I mean like go like if I like get rid of a pair of socks or something I'm just like damn like what had those socks been through? Really? Yeah, I do. I really really do. We're very opposite when it comes to that We are

and I've noticed Becca's like you. Like Becca's just like oh throw everything out. I love throwing shit out. Well she she keeps stuff that are sentimental but like there's other like I know I'm over the top with it you know what I mean like it's an issue for me. Do you keep all of like your birthday and Christmas cards and stuff? Yes. You have all of them. Most, I'm sure during these. So how do you decide which ones to throw out? I don't. You just said most. I've accidentally lost some, or misplaced some.

It's not like I actively go like, all right, this one isn't making the cut. So a random uncle sends you a card, you have that. Probably, yeah. I just, you know. It's also weird to like I remember this might not make any sense to you because you don't care for your like

grandparents, but I Like I Remember my grandparents like my grandmother's handwriting was fucking like a work of art unbelievable old people like handwriting was fucking like a work of art. Unbelievable. Dude, old people, like handwriting used to be art because they'd get beat in school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then beat at home. Right, yeah.

Pretty much beat anywhere they went. Exactly. But now, like, think about it. Do you have anything with your grandparents handwriting on it? Like my, I've seen stuff, like my mom has it. But like that's... Unbelievable handwriting. Cool.

You know what I mean? My mom has unbelievable handwriting too. My mom too. My mom is... It's like a typewriter.writer my dad on the other hand the dumbest handwriting I've ever I've never seen my dad use a lowercase letter in his life Massive and like my dad used to sign Reports or whatever from school in print capital letters. No signatures Joe in print capital letters no signatures Joe they'd be like clearly you wrote this I'm like no my dad's the one I okay not me remember I don't remember my my dad's signature but my mom is a pretty nice handwriting and but like handwriting is

no longer a thing that people care about like which is crazy it is kind of crazy I will say I maybe I'm being an old bastard here yeah but like have nice handwriting people. It is fair to say, right? We agree that you shouldn't, teachers shouldn't be beating children and parents probably should not be beating their kids at home.

But in a world where there's a lot of beating going on of children, there's amazing handwriting going on. So, the penmanship versus the beating. They went in the right direction. Now listen, correlation may not mean causation, but we don't know until we test it out. I'm going to choose to believe that if you do hit your child, they have better handwriting.

Possibly, I'm not gonna go that far. But I'm not gonna go that far either because Keith was hit and his handwriting sucks. It looks like if I'm using my left hand and I'm drunk and my eyes are closed. Gotcha, okay. But like, do you ever think about that? Like one day you won't have, like these people will be gone.

Who? Oh, the really good handwriting people. Well, not just that, I'm saying your life. Oh. One day your aunts and uncles and parents will be gone and like, do you have anything with your handwriting on it to like, because that's like a piece of history,

you know what I mean? Like, so like that's one of the reasons I hold onto this stuff, just as like a keepsake, you know? But like Becca one day pulled out a letter that she had from her grandmother and she was like I'll never get rid of this because it's the only piece of handwriting I have and I was like damn, that's like,

that's like, I cool. That's like I'm gonna cry. You know what I mean? Like that's that's that's awesome I'm like I hope my kids are like that one day like they want to keep something with my handwriting your dog shit handwriting Don't don't kill I have better handwriting than you they're like did a bird write this I will say this I will say this I will say this you do have very nice big fat bubbly letters But overall my handwriting is way cooler than yours Are you drunk and high? Oh, I'm very serious we can test this bitch right now if you want me to grab that if yours is cooler

What does that mean? I just think I have cooler handwriting. It's more memorable yours It's just like oh who wrote that fucking a typewriter mine has personality what does yours have Joey it's a very good way of thinking all right I'm gonna get this and I'm gonna show you what my handwriting sure okay and you're gonna show me what yours looks like okay but where are we writing? you can write whatever word you feel so comfortable writing any word not any word okay all right we're both gonna write the word Any word. Not any word. Okay. Alright.

We're both gonna write the word. Write down your favorite slur. What are we writing? Write down the word friend. Okay. Seriously. Like not trying to do anything different. Just write down the word friend. I'm gonna. Are you gonna play by those rules? Yes, of course I will. My handwriting has personality. No, it does. Seriously. Are you gonna play by those rules of course I will my handwriting has personality seriously Way cooler than you are oh Look at your white rice handwriting you fucking banana. What's this you stupid fucking idiot? That's how I read my ass you're an idiot

Yes, you are I'm not an idiot whack Yes you are. I'm not an idiot and fuck you. I'm not an idiot. Whack. Write the word, write the word matrimony. Frank, give me a word that I can spell. No. Matrimony. How did you get to that word?

Write the word. Matrimony. Write the word Pikachu. Okay? Okay. That's true. Write the word Pikachu. Okay. Look at how cool my Pikachu is. And look at how just fucking like salt and pepper yours is.

You said don't do anything different and then you're over here attaching three, four letters together. No, no, no, Joey. This is not, this is not me trying different That's legit how I write and you know that too. You've known me long enough Like if I were to write give me another word to write and I'll write it right here and you and I won't like do Anything doctored you'll see me write it go quartet

well Padre what Padre? Oh, okay. All right Padre? Oh, okay, alright. Yeah, bitch! What do you have? Hula, let's watch Joey write his Pikachu. A lot of silence here. Pikachu!

What's the ending letter that you wrote there? Because that's not a... That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there.

That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there.

That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you wrote there. That's a letter that you what's what's the ending letter that you wrote there because that's not a I don't know why you added this thing to it you this is Joey's dumbass fucking bitch ass handwriting and that's mine you're where you're just a hater seasoning seasoning I'm not a hater you're a hater. Flare. You're just a hater. Seasoning. Seasoning. I'm not a hater. You're a hater with stupid handwriting. Fuck you. Alright. That's what I think. It bounced back at me. Karma. Because you are rubber, I am, no, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you, whatever. Frank, where can they find you? F.Alberts885 on Twitter, DeFrankAlberts on all the forms of social media go check out the Patreon.

Patreon.com slash TheBaseBanyard to continue to support us and then folks go check out The Basement Yard on all forms of social media we love all the love and support and engagement that we get on that so keep it up Joey right back at you. Yeah go follow me at JoeSantagato on all So keep it up Joey right back at you. Yeah, go follow me at Joe Santagato on all Platforms and then go follow the show at the basement yard on tik-tok and Instagram Yeah, okay and honestly you talk a lot of shit about my handwriting but I want to say one thing I remember Like clear as fucking day. It was one of the first days of school in second grade and you got screamed at by miss Mac You know because everything in bubble letters We had to write down the homework and he was doing it in a bubble letters and she walked over and

Flamed you yeah, well cuz I'm what do you think we're all just gonna wait for you to be done I like to be inventive. I like to be fun playful happy. What do you like Joey mr.? Fucking typewriter fuck you and your handwriting I'm sorry. I love you. You see the way that he speaks to me. This is abuse. This is not I'm abusing It's not abuse. I'm being a not it's love. I'm being abused But you guys can go follow me at Joe standing out a father show a tick tock and it's great But that is all see you guys next time later