The Basement Yard - #477 - The World's Sexiest Podcast Hosts

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the base- Music Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going? Ah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh your thumbs out just right here what is this hitchhiking hitchhiking craziness dude my father-in-law tells me all the time he's like yeah I used to do it a lot and I'm like why how has he not been killed because he's a white man no one wants to kill white men that's true they didn't want to kill white men back then they needed them they were like we need you yeah Ronald Reagan was out there that was a little later I guess.
Starting point is 00:00:45 What? Ronald Reagan was later on. What is Ronald, oh did he say that? I mean, I imagine when people think of like, white men in the US, they close their eyes, they see Ronald Reagan. That's what you see? Personally?
Starting point is 00:01:00 I don't even know what I see. I mean, I mean. Well yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do I see? Don't even know what I said, I mean I mean You see it I said yes, but like I think of Met I think men of a certain generation or people of a certain generation when they think of like the prototypical Close your eyes see an American white man. It's you know, man, it's fucking leather face Ronald Reagan. He's long dead by the way. He's not still alive. Ronald Reagan?
Starting point is 00:01:31 Ronald Reagan, Ronnie Riggs? Yeah, yeah. He died. Yeah. I think, right? You said long dead, so now I don't. When did Ronnie Riggs die? Look that shit up, bitch.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I always get him confused with Richard Nixon. Very, very, very easy to make the distinction. Ronald Reagan, dead? Question. Ronald Reagan, Nixon, right? 2004, dude, he's super. Bro, Ronald Reagan was born in 1911. Yeah, man, that's an old bastard.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Older than my fucking old dead grandma. Both of them. Both of our grandmothers. Yeah, yeah. 29 I think. Mine was 29 too, yeah. What the hell? That's really crazy.
Starting point is 00:02:10 That is weird. Actually no, mine was 26. And this is a serious, serious way that I remember it because 9-11. Frank. You remember what year your grandma was born? Because of 9-11. Tell us the mnemonic device that you created. Tell us. Well because we did a 75th birthday party for her and we had it on tape and on tape are my mom, my aunt,
Starting point is 00:02:41 my uncle and they're talking about like the devastation of 9-11. On her birthday tape? Yeah. You're telling me it's a bunch of people being like, happy birthday, ya ya. And then it cuts to your mom being like, we're at war now. They were just saying the world is a really scary place
Starting point is 00:02:58 and it's nice to come together and stuff like that. And that's how I remember what year she was born because of, it's a weird like this is not a joke wait But I'm confused what's confusing was how soon after 9-eleven did you have this birthday party? Through less than three months oh Because my grandmother's birthday was December 1st, and it was her 75th birthday And it was a math you know I I remember yeah so it was somewhere within you know Larry it was like my they like it was a big I remember it was like a
Starting point is 00:03:30 big family thing I brought a plastic you're gonna laugh hysterically at me I'm sure I will go ahead first of all one this is when I tried out my breakdancing on the video there's it like I have to get this video wait you were doing you went through a break dancing phase yeah yeah I tried I tried maybe I just don't remember you don't remember it I probably did too and I've since told you any ripaway pants I'm in I did have a ripaway pants with the buttons yeah that was I think those two things might have been mutually exclusive right not entirely lined up yeah but on the, like, they did, like, remember, like, we had that, like, family thing where
Starting point is 00:04:08 they would, like, film parties? And that was, like, a whole industry of, like, party filming. Yeah, with the big fucking cameras. With the big fucking camera. And it was always the same bald white guy. He, like, did my baptism. I don't remember his name, but. Oh, my mom filmed ours.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Oh, we had, like, a- You hired? There was someone hired, dude. Yeah. And he would like cut and edit the whole thing and put like graphics over it. Remember those like 90s graphics where it was just like the film rolling down?
Starting point is 00:04:34 Yeah, yeah. And it was like, you know, Gloria's 75th birthday. Damn. And then it's just, you know, an hour of people at a table talking and then a mic being handed to them. They're like
Starting point is 00:04:48 Happy birthday, Gloria. We wish you the best We hope you're doing well to 75 more I do Yeah, they would hand it off to somebody else and they would I've seen that for weddings But you guys were doing that for birthday parties For my grandmother 75th, I need to find this tape. And like, it was a big thing. And it was- And you were break dancing on it? I was break dancing on the dance floor, babe. And I had brought with me, I remember very clearly, I brought with me a plastic bag.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Good old plastic bags, by the way, of wrestling figures. So like, if I got bored, I was just, I would go under the table and have like a Hell in a Cell match underneath a banquet table I mean yeah isn't fourth grade though too old for that yeah yeah yeah I feel like toys are eternal babe okay but like if you go to a like a fucking party or something. You're not bringing toys for miles Fourth graders now are different than when we were in fourth grade we could we could say that tell yourself that I Mean, they're probably smarter, but like I can openly say that yeah, but I think bringing a bunch of Plastic bag full of toys dude. Can I say something really quick? Yeah, I'm ready for the backlash Right. Are you ready for what the backlash of?
Starting point is 00:06:12 Toys no America let me talk to you. You need someone to talk for you right now. So let me do it. Okay Plastic bags are just better than any other type of bag. That was... Paper bags are trash. Reusable? You know how many reusable bags I have now? We've openly just had to give them away to people.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Yeah, I have mad reusable bags. No, and, cause any time I go... Cause I'm not reusing it. Bro, plastic bags were not only great bags Minus the whole pollution and stuff that was bad. I Frank. That's the whole thing There's no other reason why we got rid of them, but plastic bags became so much more than just plastic bags they became Like Dog shitter picker-upper. What are they called? No they make dog bags
Starting point is 00:07:04 I know but those are not as cool as a just a giant trade fair plastic bag. No, I don't want to pick up dog shit with a giant Trader Joe's bag. Trader Joe's never had plastic bags. Well, you know what I mean. A trade fair, whatever. Trade fair, that's it. You don't do that. I get a little thing now. It goes on the on the- I know what it goes on. We had those. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Those are great. Having a place in your house that had thousands of plastic bags. You get a little thing now, it goes on the leash. I know what it goes on, we had those. Those are great. I'm just saying, having a place in your house that had thousands of plastic bags. Yeah. From the fucking- My mom still has that. From the 80s, that is a relic.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Do you realize you are sitting on like fucking history, babe. Yeah, I mean, that's a little crazy. I feel like you're going on the wall with plastic bags. I'm just saying, like, I am all on board. Big Oil convinced us that we were fucking up the world with plastic bags I feel like you're going a little while. I'm just saying like I am I am all on board big oil Convinced us that we were fucking up the world with plastic bags when they were sitting there drilling into the fucking third layer of the earth's mantle and crust So they were like you spilling it all over the ducks guys I'm just telling you as there's fucking oil all over these poor damn ducks
Starting point is 00:07:59 Yeah, gotta get rid of plastic straws. You gotta get rid of plastic bags I will say this whoever is working in the marketing department for over at dawn and was like, you know Let's just go over there and start washing the seals and put that on TV You're a genius and you deserve everything you have. I will say I will I will agree to that I mean, I think I think there's a I think Big Soap and Big Oil have gotten together and they're just like, make us look bad, but help sell some of your stuff and we'll get people's attention away from the fact
Starting point is 00:08:32 that we are draining the world of its natural resources. Frank, I think exactly the opposite is happening. Dawn is like raising awareness of the fact that these idiots are spilling oil into the fucking ocean. Are they, or is it just a big conspiracy? Why would they make big soap? We're onto you. Don't don't be confused.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Don't think I'm not onto anything. I believe in so Joe is with me here. I know I'm not I believe in soap, but I believe in good soaps natural soaps. I'm not going to give out any free plugs right here unless some companies want to start sending me some free stuff Frank is now You're a whore is what you are. They say he's a whore Whore I'm a slut for soap. Okay good. So how's that better?
Starting point is 00:09:14 Whore you get nothing in return slut Here's and live in the dream, baby And I've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones so like whores been throwing around a lot. Oh you're rewatching Game of Thrones? Yeah. Is it that dark of a time in our country's fucking history that you want to watch one of the most gray and dark shows ever put on TV? Peter Bailesh. Oh he's such a little, he's such a rascal. Yeah. He's such a rascal. You're mad horny when you use that word. I feel like no no no
Starting point is 00:09:46 I wasn't what was his name in the show? Peter Bailish. Yeah, but what's his like nickname? Oh little finger little fingers Yeah, yeah rascal. Yeah And he's always scheming and stuff like that. He is that's a testament to the actor. Yeah, he's good He's very very good in that show you all up to date on penguin Yes Unbelievable, right? Ah He's very very good in that show you all up to date on penguin. Yes Unbelievable. Yes. Ah My god, that's a good penguin penguin penguin. So
Starting point is 00:10:18 Didn't it wasn't wasn't watching any of that. I mean the other day obviously I was watching the election one word to describe the election reactions One word Scared cool. I was gonna go with yikes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was gonna go with. I was gonna go with yikes. There's a bit of a yikes in there somewhere. Big yikes.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Um... is what it is. Uh, I guess. And, uh... Fucking jeez. I went to bed that night... I don't know if these things are related. Went to bed that night woke up at 5 o 2 a.m. and I had a very that's a very presidential hour I just want to
Starting point is 00:10:50 throw that out well I had a very vivid dream of my mom being racist yeah good I'm gonna go out on the slightest of limbs here okay okay that's there might be a little relation right there. I think it was like, I was like. They're not like brother sister relation. Wait, what are we talking about here? Because my mom's not racist. I know your mom's not racist.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I'm saying the way that your brain was operating. Oh yeah, I was just like. Your mom is an old white woman though. I know, but she's a saint. She loves everybody. She is, your mom is a great woman with a good heart. I immediately texted her and told her by the way. And what did she respond back? She said did she show you her like voting slip? No.
Starting point is 00:11:31 I forgot what she said, but she was not happy. But I- Your mom was mad that you- why can I ask you a serious question? Cuz I think that people- I don't care about your mom. No hold on just listen to what she said. What she said was- hold on I gotta remember cuz I wrote't care. I don't care about your mom. No, hold on. Just listen to what she said. What she said was, hold on, I gotta remember it because I wrote it down. It's great. It was great podcasting, great entertainment for the folks that are watching this right now. What?
Starting point is 00:11:51 That you're sitting there just trying to find something. Are you fucking crazy? You, out of all people. Oh, yo, hold on. Let me look this up. 15 minutes go by and you're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, you're just making noise like that. You shut the fuck up. I found it already Okay So the very tense couple days I don't there was like a whole like stuff going on in the stream But the only part that I remember was that I wrote this in the family group chat I said I had a dream that mom was racist at
Starting point is 00:12:27 one point she just says I really just don't think you can learn anything from minorities and I shot up from my seat like are you fucking insane and then I woke up I imagine your mom's reaction was like what do you think of me? I don't know what she said. No, she just wrote, quite the contrary. I just, I get very fired up when like, I'll be very honest with you. I don't remember my dreams 99.999% of the time. You're a big dream guy. You wake up, you immediately start writing. But what does that mean that you can remember dreams is that I don't know I
Starting point is 00:13:06 sleeping I'm sleeping better I don't know honestly I mean you take melatonin I don't take melatonin have you ever yeah does it then you dream I'll tell you something right now seriously yeah I have not slept well in maybe a year and I've been open I've told you about that I just can't sleep I don't know what's wrong with me but take a fat tone in I did in that in. And I've been open, I've told you about that. I just can't sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. But take a fat tone in. I, in that time, I've taken, I've toned. You've taken?
Starting point is 00:13:30 I've taken and toned. I've even started taking other stuff that people are like, this is also good for sleep. NyQuil, randomly? Magnesium threonate. What the fuck is that? Yeah, babe, I'm drugged up over here. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Try to sleep well. Wait, threonate or threonate? Threonate. Oh, threonate. There have been claims that like, it helps you with sleep, wait three and eight or three and eight three oh Nate Oh three oh there have been claims that like it helps you with sleep like and got it Um, I can't speak for other people only could speak for myself. All right, not helping me with a goddamn thing Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still taking it because I paid a couple bucks for the bottle, dude I could take 10 milligrams of melatonin and it will I will have it be having motion pictures You know what? I'm gonna do tonight. I'm gonna go home and 50 milligramsatonin and I will be having motion pictures. You know what I'm gonna do?
Starting point is 00:14:05 Tonight, I'm gonna go home. 10, 50 milligrams, I don't know what's a safe amount. Yeah, I don't know, it might hurt me, but I also have young kids, I don't want to, God forbid there's like an intruder or something, I don't want to be like fast asleep. Wake up. Wake up.
Starting point is 00:14:19 So I'm gonna, like, I don't know, there's no way around this, but I'm gonna try to not overdose on melatonin, but like I'm gonna see what's an unhealthy amount and I'm gonna get right below that, right below that threshold. The daily recommended and be like, we'll take that. Well, I have the extra strength gummies.
Starting point is 00:14:38 And it's like- Oh, you got gum. And it's like two gummies is like, I think it's like 10 milligrams. Gummies are great. Like some of the best shit we've ever done in this world is like impl I think it's like 10 milligrams. Gummies are great. Like some of the best shit we've ever done in this world is like implanted things in gummies. Can I say something really quick?
Starting point is 00:14:50 Like protein gummies. Can I say something real quick? Mm-hmm. I have been, you know, I've spoken with you candidly, I'm on a bit of a health journey, okay? Okay. I am trying to be a healthier version of myself. Not because I'm normally unhealthy,
Starting point is 00:15:04 but just because I wanna feel good about myself, right Whom is to blame for greens powder Oh that at the athletic greens whether it be that I don't want to name any companies in particular because Want it for free? No, no, I'm just saying you hate them. I hate them all because they taste like shit because they're getting in trouble. You want it for free. No, no, no, I'm just saying. You hate them. I hate them all. Well, because they taste like shit? Because they're just like, they're delicious. They're a part of your-
Starting point is 00:15:29 They're not delicious. They are not. They taste like chalk and grass, fucked, and then they're secretly cousins, and you have their inbred child in your mouth right now. Okay? Who in the fuck is just like, oh. Yeah, nah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:45 No, they're not good. You have a great solution. I know there are companies now that are starting to put them into gummies, but I don't trust those either. No, I have, wait, what? There are companies now that are doing like- Protein gummies?
Starting point is 00:15:57 They're greens, the green gummies. Oh. And again, I don't wanna name companies because I wanna upset people, but like- You don't trust them. I don't trust them. companies that I want to upset people but like you don't trust them I don't trust them been burned by greens Well, I had they're just like put a put this into a cup of a glass of water It doesn't even look good and watch your diet change completely
Starting point is 00:16:15 The only thing that has changed is the amount of toilet paper. We've had to buy in our It's so good and you drink it and you're like, you like choke it down. Does it make you, like your colon blow up? I don't know what it does, but whatever it's doing doesn't feel good. Right. You know? I'm usually like, like protein for whatever reason I can't, there's only one protein that works for me.
Starting point is 00:16:44 And it's like, it's like these shakes, honestly honestly I'll free plug them because I like them, but that's called Owen Owin only what you need But it's like oh, I've heard of those. It's like plant brace braced Pran brace protein But it's like plant based bro, bro, what the fuck? What the fuck? Well, I'll say it, you just continue. Plant-based protein. Boom.
Starting point is 00:17:12 And then, um, plant-based protein. Thank you, God. And then, uh, there's like some fiber in it, whatever, and it's like, I think it's like 20 grams of protein. But like, those are the only things that don't fuck me up. But if I just take regular, like, whey protein... I do well with whey protein. My issue is now I'm being, again,
Starting point is 00:17:28 I'm being more health aware and cognizant is I'll look at it and it'll be like, this is the best quality. Dude, I went to, I'm not gonna say it because I don't want to insult the guy, but I went to like a supplement shop not long ago and it was the most dude bro guy in the world. And he was just like, what do you got today? Just went to the gym. Fucking awesome, bro guy in the world and he was just like what do you got today just went to the gym fucking awesome bro like he was
Starting point is 00:17:49 just like what are you looking for and I was like this he's like honestly this is super yummy like just like okay I'm talking about but all of them have just artificial flavoring and I'm afraid of that stuff because like, you love hot dogs. You're afraid of protein. Well, I, first of all, there's no rebuttal. A hot dog is much worse. I'm just a little more aware of, I'm a little more scared of artificial flavoring when I have a protein that's just like,
Starting point is 00:18:21 what flavor of this? This is crunchy berry, fat tits flavor. And it really tastes like fucking giant knockers. What store is this? Shit. What are you doing? Oh, here we go. I'm not doing this.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Frank's got another idea. Big business. Actually, you know what? I'm gonna save it. I just pitched you a Patreon episode that you'll have to watch in order to get it. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. I'm gonna write this in my phone right now,
Starting point is 00:18:52 but your mom may be racist. Definitely not. She's not. Definitely not, yeah. No, but also like whenever there's like proteins that are like, this one's flavored fruity pebbles. I'm like, this feels like someone came into a bowl of fruity pebbles Dude, this is doesn't taste like fruity pebbles. This is disgusting
Starting point is 00:19:09 No a lot of them but see that's the thing is that a lot of them do scarily Actually taste like what they are, but they're not like related to like they're not officially branded I don't like the the like film that it leaves in the film. There's a film and I don't like that either. I'm with you there. I don't like that feeling, but I get the same thing from Captain Crunch. That film, I don't like that. Oh man, I'll-
Starting point is 00:19:33 I love Captain Crunch. There's a new study that came out that was like Captain Crunch is the most unhealthy. Bro, by the way, can we like, it's Captain Crunch. I know it says cap in crunch Oh, but who's pronouncing it nobody and if you ever meet anyone that correct me, I'm gonna cut your head off And honestly, I'll be right there with the saw. Okay, I'll hand you this saw to cut the head Oh, I was gonna do with a sword. I've been watching Game of Thrones. There it is. That's right. Yeah sword
Starting point is 00:20:01 It's stock Valerian steel man. I maybe I know I don't want to rewatch that yeah I wish that we could go back to the days of like 2011 when pre-workout was basically just drugs or they were all named after shit that explodes. It was like TNT. No XC for no explode TNT sodium bicarbonate What are you drinking? Oh me I'm drinking nitroglycerin XL the pussy crusher. Yeah Bro I used to hit fire. Yeah, why are you drinking that or they get like demonic with it? Like I remember there was one that was called like the curse That's crazy. Oh one time. This is the though
Starting point is 00:20:52 I took I've only taken pre-workout like a handful of times the first time I ever took it in my life I was like maybe 23 years old and it was called assault. Yeah Literally called assault and I thought my fucking heart was gonna dude burst out of my chest one there was one that was called like the demon and I and I remember Danny and I had taken it my brother-in-law and he was I actively texted him like I blacked out for 40 minutes and I woke up at the end of a fucking Insanity video. Yeah, like it's crazy there
Starting point is 00:21:30 Why I could feel every hair on my body and just be like I'm fucking Jesus dude. I I swear to God I I've actively said out loud like this is what I imagine Emperor Palpatine feels like See and this is what you gotta do you gotta fucking say Star Wars shit in the middle of this because like I remember I would feel like Electricity coming in bro in that moment Do it! whether it was because of the possible traces of amphetamines in the pre-workout which there were a lot There were some or because of my inability to grow up I felt like I could shoot electricity out of my hands
Starting point is 00:22:09 Do it Seriously, I'm telling you, you know, but uh, yeah No, I go just circling back your mom is a very kind person. Clearly your dream was had a dream I will say it was probably related to Some things that may or may not have been said about certain people that might have been running for office in certain parts of this country or the whole country certain, you know but Yeah, so
Starting point is 00:22:32 You know, I don't even know that is After what happened with the Yankees was the last was the last dream you had that you can remember Don't fucking lie and make something up. No, I'm honestly I'm serious right now When was the last dream you had that you can remember? Man. Don't fucking lie and make something up. No, I'm honestly, I'm serious right now. I really can't remember much. Oddly enough, the ones that I can remember are the ones that are like nightmares.
Starting point is 00:22:54 Like I wake up scared. Oh. But. Sometimes I have dreams that like aren't cool. Like it was like I had a dream that I was like on my couch and then I wake up and be like, I wasn't on my couch. Yeah. Like that's so stupid.
Starting point is 00:23:04 That is very stupid. And I'll go one my couch and then I wake up and be like I wasn't on my couch Yeah, like that's so stupid that is very stupid and I'll go one step further and say Have better dreams, dude. I know like that that makes me feel like there's something wrong with I get really worked up when I do Have a dream and I'll tell someone about it and they'll be like, what do you think of me? And it's like I don't actively think anything about you. Yeah sort like your mom, right? You know, You know, I don't think I've ever dreamed of your mom. You fucking better not. But like what I'm saying is like, in that situation, like your mom could be like, what do you think of me?
Starting point is 00:23:35 And it's like, I'm not thinking you're a racist at all. Yeah, you think I'm implanting this inception style in my head? I think there was one time I had a dream about you and you said, said and I told you And you were like, what do you think of me? And I was just like Nothing bad, but just like oh, oh, but that was crazy. Which one was it? Do you remember? I think I don't remember exactly what it was
Starting point is 00:23:55 But like I think you you had a dream that I called you like disgusting or something like something ridiculous Yeah, it might have been but like again, I don't think you're a bad person but like maybe it's my fears Maybe I'm afraid you're secretly a bad person. There's a dream expert just being like ooh and just going crazy Oh my god There are people there are people that love horoscopes right now that are just like well wait until you find out what happens if you Have teeth in your dream. Yeah, you know which I used to have that dream a lot. Yeah, you're I had a dream once That like I was eating and like my tooth, my teeth like chipped or something I was like, oh fuck, so I went to the mirror and I'm like this and then all my side teeth were like
Starting point is 00:24:31 welded together like it was one big tooth. Fucking debunk that! I gotta say that sounds kind of cool dude. To have one big side mouth tooth? If, all right, so there are like three, four parts of your teeth, okay? Are you about to give me a lesson on teeth, Dr. Alvarez? Yes, I am, patient bitch. Um. Ha!
Starting point is 00:24:56 Ha! Tell me about the four parts of my teeth, and if you say, if you say top or bottom, I'm gonna come over there and if you say if you say top or bottom I'm gonna come over there and assault you. Alright so I won't say top or bottom. Don't say roots either. Okay I won't say roots baby. Good. Okay different parts of your mouth have different purposes okay. Oh no. Okay the front part of your teeth right here they're called incisors because they're meant to scissor they're meant to say I'm cutting the ice, you know when you bite something you cut it with this. You know your canine you have them sharp
Starting point is 00:25:34 I know I got sharp canine kind of cool though. I gotta be honest. I could buy beers open. You could be like Yeah, I don't you could I guess But those are meant to puncture. So it'll puncture and they'll start the incisors. And then, so maybe it's three parts of the teeth. Mollers. And the Mollers are meant to grind them into a paste. Damn, dude.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Look at you're doing. You're grinding on nipples right now. That's what you're doing. That's it, right? Are you a, how many fingers on nipples are you going? Are you going two? Are you going three? Are you going more? I don't go like this. What am I? Tony soprano like begging for nipple. I don't wanna be a chicken
Starting point is 00:26:20 I Don't know I Feel like I'm more like saying hi you're more. Oh, you're more. Well, I'm't know. I feel like I'm more like saying hi. You're more, oh you're more like- Well I'm not waxing on and off, I'm not doing this. You're more Mr. Miyagi. I don't know. I think you're-
Starting point is 00:26:34 Sometimes I'll, you know? I can't speak from, I can't speak from experience with you because you've never rubbed nipples in front of me and you've never touched my nipples. Right, well I can't get close to your nipples. Yeah, you're damn right you can't- You've got an electric fence around in front of me and you've never touched my nipples. Right. Well, I can't get close to your nipples. You're damn right you can't pinch. You've got an electric fence around those things. You're damn right.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Yeah. So like I imagine- I've probably pinched your nipples. You're like a, you're like a, you know, you're like a, you're like a, you're like a white man that doesn't know how to salsa dance. What is this? You know, like that's what I imagine you are. Frank, why would I be doing this?
Starting point is 00:27:05 You're like a Doctor Strange. No, that's not what I'm doing. I feel like you would do that. No, I... Yeah, you would, Mr. Comic Books. Oh. Fucking guy. Raaah!
Starting point is 00:27:18 The Book of Ashanti plays with your titties! I don't even know what that means. The Book of Ashanti? Oh, hi! I'm jacked up today. I can tell I took the curse Had some assault before I got here speaking of Nothing brands I guess we do have some sponsors the first one being how you doing rocket money Okay, rocket money is an all-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your
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Starting point is 00:30:32 We love and appreciate all of our patrons. We love and appreciate everyone that even if you're not a patron, but you get a little extra love from us. We're kidding. We love you all equally. Thank you so much for all the patrons that have gone to Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard and supported us because that's exactly what that is doing is that is supporting us that is supporting me that is supporting Joe that is supporting this studio.
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Starting point is 00:31:59 for the first time. Because I don't think you're allowed to watch porn in North Korea. No, North Korea is pretty strict on their no internet access no POR and we're not saying anything about them who North Korea I mean we're not there it's fine no I know they got that's true if they saw that Seth Rogen James Franco movie you think they're not seeing us that's true oh no wait what are those yeah those in theaters. So like once a podcast,
Starting point is 00:32:28 but also that was their balloon, wasn't it? Am I making that up? I can't remember. I think it was China. Oh, it was China's balloon. I think it was China's balloon. I can't remember. You, isn't that crazy?
Starting point is 00:32:38 Doesn't that speak to how insane our world is that there is a balloon maybe from China, just like hanging out above our country. And then we just- Not one balloon above our country and then not one balloon well And then we just forget about it. Yeah Stuff's happening these days. There's some stuff. I'm just the shit is burning. It's happening Yeah, we're you know the reason that yeah, so the North Korean soldiers were sent to assist in the Ukraine and Russian war
Starting point is 00:33:02 Which we're not gonna touch on that but and Russian war, which we're not gonna touch on that. But now they have access to the internet for the first time and apparently they've been going porn crazy. Right, yeah. Which they have unrestricted internet access in Russia and the first thing they do when they get there, they're just like big tits. It's fucking crazy.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Do you think a Well jerked-off soldier is a better soldier or worse soldier Frank? I'm not even going to dignify that question with a response Because what are you talking about? Well like it like let's use the logic of alright. Let's go back to Ancient Greece ancient Greece, ancient Rome. Okay. Too far back? No, I just don't know. What are you asking me? I'm saying, do you think like their mentality is just like if they are celibate and they don't masturbate, they don't have sex, they're a better soldier or a worse soldier? Like would you want someone that's just fat balls? I have no idea bro You don't know?
Starting point is 00:34:08 No I don't know that plays a part in it I mean I'm gonna say it probably I just think it's interesting I think it's interesting that like the second you get unrestricted access to the internet it's like that's like that is that like innate in people because when you're younger and you're like 11 or something or 12
Starting point is 00:34:24 or I don't know when we started looking at porn But like as soon as you get like a computer that you're like no one's around you're like you Google like girls with see-through shirts Wet t-shirt contest you go to wet white t-shirts calm Bro, I'm not kidding when I was younger. I would look up wet t-shirt contest. Why would I not just look at no shirt? Stuff yeah, but I was like wet t-shirt contest. I'm like that was cool That's a weird thing. Do you remember if you would just stay watching TV up until a certain time? You'd see the commercials for girls gone wild. Do you remember? I don't remember that what I honestly don't remember I've never seen girls gone wild ever. I mean, I've never seen it either, but I remember it would be like midnight
Starting point is 00:35:07 or 1 a.m. watching TV. Midnight or 1 a.m.? How old, Frank? I mean- Because my father- I was like 13 maybe, like 12, 13, 14, around that age. And like, it would be like, order today. This is when you had to, listen, if you were addicted to porn in the early in the late 90s early
Starting point is 00:35:27 2000s you were working. Yeah Better have a good job. You had to fucking mail in a check you had to call this number Yeah, mail in like four checks for like 1608 each Yeah, get back a tape. Yeah, that was just like Having tapes of porn to me is so bananas crazy have an actual Actual physical porn is a fully ripe banana. Well that was before like the internet now I know but like a box of porn dude like the internet now. I know, but like a box of porn, dude, relax.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Yeah, that was the thing back then is that you had a porn collection. Yeah. What movie was that? 40 year old virgin. 40 year old virgin. He's just like, here's my porn collection, it's yours now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Crazy, like, do you remember there was a video store in our neighborhood that we would sneak into the back, the porn section of it? And they had XXX. And they had like, it would be like, you would see just the back of the porn section of it and they had xxx and they had like it would be like you would see just the name at the top and there was like a black card in front of the picture and you would move the black card and it was just like yeah girls go well you don't remember those commercials where it was just like we went to the craziest college
Starting point is 00:36:45 New Orleans! Yeah. Or-ling. What did I just say? I don't know. I said New Orleans. We went to New Orleans! They would do like seasonal tapes.
Starting point is 00:36:55 They'd be like, guess what's out? The Mardi Gras tape. The Girls Gone Wild, volume 8, Mardi Gras mamas. How did that start, by the way? We're going to give you beads if you show us your tits. How is that an even trade? Google that, baby. Where did tits for beads come from? I mean, because honestly,
Starting point is 00:37:16 if I'm dumping it out, I want to see. I want something better than beads. Yeah, I want like something that I can get at any fucking bar mitzvah I go to. Bar mitzvah. Yeah, I've never been to a bar. I miss her. I was the king of bar mitzvah I know you had a lot of Jewish friends bar and Bob mitzvahs man. I was those are like the first Jewish people I had ever seen Do you know that I'm serious your Jewish friends were the only Jewish people I knew isn't that weird Yeah, but there's no there's no Jews in our neighborhood
Starting point is 00:37:43 There were not any Jewish people in our neighborhood that we knew of maybe they were hiding like they were like afraid to be open about their religion it's possible there are people like that but not in our neighborhood how do you know because it was a nice neighborhood oh you say that you never know yeah I guess that's the whole idea if they're afraid to say that they're They're afraid to be openly Jewish because they were afraid there was no synagogues in our neighborhood either That is correct, but that doesn't mean they can't travel for them. Yeah, I'm just saying what uh, what was I typing in? Where did boobs for Mardi Gras come from?
Starting point is 00:38:22 boobs for beads Mardi Gras a lot while you're looking that up. I need to give a shout out to those I think their podcast called like almost Friday or something like that Yeah, you ever seen the videos they do where the guy just grabs a Roku remote and speaks into it I fucking love that shit. He's like stinky sticky tits stinky tits Reese Witherspoon kicked off of set for having just stinky tits Reese Witherspoon kicked off of set for having just stinky tits Yeah, it's like stink lines cartoonishly coming from just giant tits The tradition of flashing from Mardi Gras is beginning 1970s So there's there's people who are named that were
Starting point is 00:39:00 The credited with this. Oh like the founders of tits for beads basically, who are they 1976 and Lena Curtis a 19 year old artist from Jackson Square may have been the first to flash for beads She sat on her friend's shoulders above the crowds and stretched down her bare chest to the riders Straight Oh stretched it down to show her there, bro I'm thinking what yeah stretch them down If you're gonna if you're gonna knock your tits out. Yeah, are you going up or are you going down? That's a good question if it was me
Starting point is 00:39:37 Cuz I probably go up I would go up to going downs like But that's when women wore more like blouses and stuff like teach crewneck t-shirts are a lot more popular with I think if you got big Knock bags you got to go up well You can't get a man ruin it you'll ruin a shirt ruin the neck of the shirt in the neck of a shirt Yeah, you know so yeah, but if you got oh if you got cool little ones He's like fucking you know I mean Or it depends what kind of shirt you're wearing yeah, if it is a blouse it is a blouse. If it's a structured neck, you gotta go up.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Yeah, you're gonna ruin the shirt. What feels more like... Just go, just go. Wait, why did someone see a pair of tits and then just give her beats? I don't know. I don't know. And then it says in 1975, This is Alex Allen and Robert Spencer These like made-up names Robert Spencer Some Ronald Reagan is coming to mind right now. No, that's wrong
Starting point is 00:40:33 Allen and Spencer witnessed a young woman on a balcony flashing for beads in 1975. So oh, oh no, those are different years So I was gonna say maybe they saw and Curtis or whatever the fuck Some say the practice started in the gay community and spread in popularity stole it from the gays Classic stealing from the gaze coolest thing comes from the gaze. I'm telling you right now other thing name one other thing go Really like fruity drinks What
Starting point is 00:41:01 What? Those are good. Those right? I saw a TikTok the other day. It's mad funny. It was like a girl like out on a date. A guy over there and he's like drinking. It just says like, stop ordering an old fashioned. We know you don't like it.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Just get the strawberry daiquiri. Yeah dude. I was like, bro. I am NOT like that I'm getting the motherfucking like Flamingo the the flying flamingo. I watched Joey get a glass of wine in a glass bird With a straw in its ass Are you that I fucking drank the shit out of it dude and I'll be honest with you. It looked way cooler than any Manhattan I've ever had in my entire fun. Yeah, that was good. You know oh, there's an orange peel and muddled cherry cool
Starting point is 00:41:53 Give me the one that has mango and fucking salt pineapple or something Hell yeah, it comes in a hollowed-out coconut uh-huh. I've done that before That's a lot of fun one time I got a coconut and it had the circular ice in it and the drink in there but it was like this is the best and then of course you know like everyone was just like no I'm not gonna drink that yet you know give me just give me an ice cold lager stop yeah Yeah. Man pissed off. Love that.
Starting point is 00:42:27 But yeah, I guess. Stole it from the gays. Stole it from the gays. I don't know how, but who's flashing? What gays are showing their tits? To others. I mean, wait, what? But like, lesbians?
Starting point is 00:42:38 Lesbians? Yeah. You know what, actually no, I guess that makes sense. I was gonna say, like, gay is just like gay men, you think of gay men. Yeah. But gay is also lesbian, like lesbians. Gay is lesbian. So they... but what is the origin of that word? Lesbian? And gay, I guess. We have the world at our fingertips right there!
Starting point is 00:43:00 How does it start from gay? Because, like like homosexual sounds like a scientist made that up. Exactly. That's the Latin term for it, you know. How did the word gay? Because gay used to be like, dude like Sinatra was saying it and something tells me he wasn't really, you know, an ally. So I imagine that someone just like took it and just be like oh overly happy. That's the gay people Oh cuz gays are happy. I mean they were pretty not happy They were probably not very happy when they were being pelted with insults Look at how happy they are that I'm pointing at them and trying to kill them What the fuck this says the word gay originated in the 12th century from the old French word gay, which meant full of joy or mirth.
Starting point is 00:43:49 Mirth? Mirth? What is mirth? I don't know, I'm assuming like- What the hell is mirth? Is mirth the way to say happy? Google mirth. Mirth. We're in a deep rabbit hole now. This rabbit hole, you could find the fucking cup of tea on the table in this one.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Alice in Wonderland. Okay. Mirth. Amusement, especially as expressed in laughter. His six-foot frame shook with Murth. Hold on. What? So you're telling me we took words that describe just absolute happiness and joy and used them as slurs for fucking people that were just sucking and fucking? No, that wasn't the slur
Starting point is 00:44:26 But gay gay isn't as well. I was used they were using it as like no back then They're saying the original word of gay meant like that's what it meant it meant full of joy Yeah, so you're so they were calling a group of people that they know bro the word gay Listen to me. You're not listening. I am listening, but it's my turn to listen, to you to listen to me. Okay. I understand that gay meant mirth. Full of mirth.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Full of mirth, which everything that you've read about the word gay sounds happy, joyful, laughing a ton. Mirth. And now they're using that. Right. Joyful laughing a ton birth and now they're using that right people use that yeah as like a slur to homosexuals yeah, you're so happy you're so happy and full of joy and laughter here You have so much mirth. Yeah, Jesus Christ. What's wrong with this world? I've never heard the word mirth before never have not once look up look up where lesbians come from like the word
Starting point is 00:45:28 When do they get here we know we know where they come from where do they come from Frank farms Farms yeah, when you think of lesbians you think of farms. Yeah, I don't Water back well How did the word lesbian come about Hmm the word lesbian comes from the Greek island of Lesbos I've heard of this. Oh my god, dude. I thought you guessed that no No, you would have had me going sounds familiar now that you said that less boss And it was like a mythological island of women and stuff like that, right?
Starting point is 00:46:12 It's basically where like the idea of Wonder Woman came from So much lesbian research done No, it was yeah, it was called like Lesbos. And it was like a mythical island of like warrior women. Now that I now that you've said that it like now I remember it. Wow, interesting. Yeah. You by the way, you ever hear about where like the origins of Wonder Woman? The character? Guess. Well, it's actually, it was made into a movie. It was called like Doctor Something and the Wonder Woman or something like that. But am I going to care about this?
Starting point is 00:46:51 Do you know? I mean, it's interesting. Okay. She was made to be like a symbol of like BDSM and like, yeah, like submissiveness, the whip. Yeah. It's a rope. It's not lasso. Excuse me. Lasso. The lasissiveness, the whip, yeah. It's a rope, it's not a rope. Lasso, excuse me, lasso, it's the lasso of truth. Yeah, whip, take it easy.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Yeah, sorry. The paddle. No, but like, it's like Dr. Martin and the Wonder Women or something like that. He made them to be like, this is a powerful submissive woman. And people were like- Is she submissive if she's got the lasso and stuff?
Starting point is 00:47:21 Well, no, it was re, they took it back and they were just like, oh yeah, bitch. Oh. We're from Lethbos. Well, now it was, it was re they took it back and they were just like, oh yeah, bitch. Oh. We're from Lethbos. Yeah, yeah. That's funny. We do have some more sponsors. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Before we continue on the Greek islands. We go back to the island of lesbians. Yeah, exactly. Okay. We do have prize picks, prize picks. It's a best place to get real money sports action. Okay, with over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, it has made
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Starting point is 00:50:49 And Frank, what? Why are you shaking your head? There are a few moments in history that really rob you of what you feel is the validation you deserve. This better be good. Whatever you're setting up better be good. We didn't get named the sexiest podcast host of 2024, Joey. What?
Starting point is 00:51:23 We didn't get named the sexiest podcast host of 2024. Oh yeah that was two weeks ago that that happened and it came out I was pretty devastated too. First of all I don't think we were even on the list. Act? What am I doing? Act with me? No. The directors might be watching. They might be watching. Okay. Let's use a real voice though because we're doing a podcast and stop whispering so because I can barely hear you. What do we need to do to be sexier? Be quieter? I don't know. Fucking... Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelsey they were named the podcast, the sexiest podcast of 2024, hosts of 2024. We didn't get runner up. We didn't get, not only did we of 2024 hosts of 2024 we didn't get runner-up We didn't get not only did we not get ready and get bronze we weren't even on the podium, babe
Starting point is 00:52:10 We I don't think we were in the voting number two was or or they beat out a pen Badgley Who's that? you What you? You What you You Know what is Penn Badgley you kidding me. Who is that you? Yes? What do you do not watch Frank now? You're fucking no. I'm not do you not what you? Please tell me I was in a show called About the killer guy.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Yeah! Oh, you did the who's on first thing to me. No, I did not. Yeah, you got me. You could have said it was a show. You could just admit to the fact that you were fucking too stupid to have picked up what I was putting down. No, I didn't. You had a bread basket of knowledge put in front of you, and you're a dumb gluten-free idiot.
Starting point is 00:53:01 You didn't pick it up. Shut up. Who's third? Josh Peck bro listen what listen listen and then the other one I saw the name of the other they not see Frank shirt you're not gonna put this guy in a list Josh Peck that was my Josh Peck impression that one more time Josh Peck impression. That? One more time. Josh Peck! Frank, that's no one.
Starting point is 00:53:30 That's not an impression. And the other one that was on was TJ Holmes. He's a good looking guy. Who the fuck is that? I gotta admit, he's a pretty good looking dude. That makes sense, that one. He's got a man's jaw, you know what I mean? He's got everything about him
Starting point is 00:53:44 and he's got like a little salt and pepper Like I know you're so horny for that well. I'm not horny for any man. You're very honest I'm saying you're horny for men. I am not full of mirth. Yeah, you're fear worthy No, I'm not you are I'm girthy not Murphy. Okay. Whoa barely okay? Okay, whoa barely, okay But like listen yeah, I'm not calling Josh Peck or Penn Badgley or definitely not that guy ugly right we just want to bid I just I think this imagine audience close your eyes
Starting point is 00:54:23 Imagine draft Travis and Jay's and Kelsey. You're gonna say imagine dragons. Imagine dragons. Radioactive. Lightning and a dunder. Yeah, yeah. Dunder, dunder, dunder. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Lightning and a dunder. I can't tell if I love or hate that band. I don't know what they are. Are they a band? Are they DJs? Are they people? I don't know are they it's an interesting genre Have you ever seen imagine dragons and like you could say like that's them I've seen that I've seen videos of the lead singer Can you point them out in a crowd no I can't point anybody out in a crowd basically point Selena Gomez out in a crowd Yes, I can can you point Tyler the Creator out in a crowd probably exactly you can't point out imagine dragons okay they're like like
Starting point is 00:55:08 no one really knows what they it's how many are there who's the one not how many dragons are there remember I think there's like five dragons really I think so they play instruments yeah no they play instruments they do so they're a band of dragon oh there are yes they're a band of dragon. No, they're yes. They're a band of dragons I don't know about but it's kind of like not that it's like this but you remember like What's the name of that band? Gorillas where those like all the gorillas their cartoons Keep love that fucking that's a good song
Starting point is 00:55:46 That's all I know. We got his every tongue, we don't know back. And he's just like, he looks like every emo kid, like the cartoon is like a cartoon drawing. Yeah, it's all cartoons. The kids that spent way too much time at Hot Topic and like, grew up and had a nightmare on Elm Street. No, nightmare before Christmas
Starting point is 00:56:02 tattoo. Mmm, I was almost you. Uh, but, why was I even, oh, what were you saying? Imagine Dragons. Not Imagine Dragons. Who, remember- You said close your eyes, imagine to people. Are Imagine Dragons fun? Fun?
Starting point is 00:56:18 Yeah. What does that mean? Are they fun? Are they fun? Like, are they the same? What the fuck does that even mean? You gotta be kidding me, it's gotta be another bit of yours. Are they fun? Are they fun? Like are they the same? Or are they different?
Starting point is 00:56:34 Who? Frankie. Imagine dragons and fun. Oh, okay, now I see what you're... Why are you trying to set me up again? I'm not trying to set you up! Frank, you know that I would get confused with that! I forget that there's a fucking band named Fun! Oh, oh, oop, forgive me
Starting point is 00:56:48 fucking- You're a music mogul! You're sitting there and you have all the fucking people- Oh, don't you dare, bitch! You said, are Imagine Dragons Fun? Are they the same? If I said, is Bruce Springsteen Billy Joel? You would get that right immediately! Frank, you know that fun is an adjective.
Starting point is 00:57:04 You know that. Frank you know that fun is an adjective You know I do know that I forgive me for thinking and know they're vastly different very very High standard for your intellect that you are clearly just trying to fucking chip away that you do I'm just saying are they not the same? No, absolutely not. Are you sure Frank, they don't even sound similar in the slightest. Well one is just a little more like, you know, like I'm going to sing on like a Call of Duty game and one is like I'm going to sing on like a, you know, Just Dance game. I base most musicians off of where their music comes from.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Video games, clearly. Video games. They're completely different, not even close genres. Are you sure? Yep Okay, haven't heard it have fun song in a while, but they were great. Well, we know that their big one was tonight We are young that's a banger. What's the moment was like? I was doing coke in the bathroom and the Empire State buildings outside or something like that My friend my friend what was it it was like doing cocaine
Starting point is 00:58:04 No, what? No, my my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State What did I say my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State my love and she's waiting for me Just across the bar. I think that's the we are young song Yeah, I think so. I think so. Did I ever tell you I saw my dad cry listening to that song? What? Your Colombian dad, who I've only heard listen to Colombian radio, heard a fun song and
Starting point is 00:58:37 cried? At which part of the song? It was Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve. Tonight we are young. It was Christmas Eve and my dad was driving us. My brothers my sister and I to I can't make fun of him too much for this, but I will because it's just like the weird parts of being a parent but we he was driving us to his brother's house
Starting point is 00:59:06 for Christmas Eve, because we would spend Christmas Eve with my dad, and it was on, and he was driving in the Denali, windows down, December 24th. I get that from my dad. No matter the weather outside, I like the windows down. But, and we were all in the car, myself, my brother, my sister, and the song was on, and he was driving us, and we're listening to the song, probably singing along to it, and
Starting point is 00:59:33 I look over at my dad and he's crying. Oh, because he's like, my kids are young? My kids are here and they're singing. That's amazing. Crazy, right? Wow. But yeah, what is the other fun song? I don't know, but you told a lot of details just to say your dad cried to a song.
Starting point is 00:59:48 You told us the windows were down. What the fuck does that have to do with the story? It was Christmas Eve. Most, I'll be honest, most of my memories in the car with my dad, the windows are down. I remember- When I found out that my middle school principal got hit by a bus, we were listening to How We Do by The Game and 50 Cent, Windows Down. Good song, bad principal, by the way and 50 cent windows down good song bad principal By the way that principal great song great, you know That was supposed to be so bad yeah, I know I like I got it
Starting point is 01:00:17 Was what was his he kind of looked like a like a not a loo-hoo a who who whoville No, no, no fucking oh the principal yeah He did he was a little yeah, he had like a slick back. He's slick back here, and he had voice. I remember that Yeah, yeah, squirrely voice squirrely voice I think he got in trouble for embezzlement, and he got hit by a bus and people cheered Yeah, I do remember people cheering people cheered I remember he yelled at me one time because I went to go like pick you guys up from school, not pick you guys up, but like meet up you guys after school.
Starting point is 01:00:50 And he was like yelling at me. I was like, I don't even go here. Yeah. Oh, whatever. But, um, so what I was getting to before we got into imagine dragons and fun, close your eyes audience. Oh, their eyes are still closed. Open them. We've been talking the whole time. Close them again. No Oh, their eyes are still closed. Open them. We've been talking the whole time close them again
Starting point is 01:01:06 No one close their eyes It's fine Imagine Travis Kelsey. Mm-hmm and Jason Kelsey, right? without having ever played sports at a very competitive level right and with a couple few dollars That's us baby a couple less dollars less. Yeah, you were dollars few dollars. That's us, baby. A couple less dollars. Less, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:28 A couple fewer dollars. Yeah. That's us. A big fat couple. I'm a big burly dad. So you're Jason. I'm Jason. I am, we are.
Starting point is 01:01:38 And I'm Travis. You're Travis. Dude, you look like him when you smile. I'm serious. No, no, no. When you do like your actual smile. That smile that like people could see the resemblance and if I just had a long beard right And you were like a hundred pounds heavier of solid muscle
Starting point is 01:01:56 Not a hundred pounds careful. Okay, cuz you said solid muscle and you didn't know he's like a fucking he's yoked it's funny that I said that because I just got a just got a cramp from just shrugging yeah no I mean that's not bad I mean you're probably closer to Jason Kelsey than I am to Travis Kelsey no I think Frank I would need to grow a whole foot okay let's start with that correct he's only 6'2 so you are right how tall is he no he's like 6'6 I think. He's gotta be a big guy. Yeah he probably I think he's like 6'6 and like 260. Travis, Travis Kelsey's not 260 dude. He's 6'5 so he's got inches on me. He's got a whole foot on you that's crazy. Shut up. You said it. Let's go Travis Kelsey weight Holy shit, he's 250 pounds told you
Starting point is 01:02:47 Big guy. Yeah We are the poor man's new heights. We are the old depth poor poor men We are all men of them. We should just call our show old heights old depths. No old shorts Depth old weights height weight The opposite of heights are depths. Valleys. Peaks. What are you not getting there? I'm trying out other words. Old depths is a great word. I don't like the word depths. Why? I'm also you're mispronouncing it somehow. Well you want it to be mirth? That's a great word. That is a pretty good word. Pretty mirth. I'm just saying like I understand we might not be their level of sexy well they get it this year I
Starting point is 01:03:28 just want to be on the ballot for 20 just like a write-in like you know how like like people jokingly voted right yeah like Harambe got like 6% of votes in Ohio like yeah just we just want to see People magazine who are our friends at this point in time we have established a relationship with true. We have established. I don't need to be called sexy make it just like people's guys Bro, two guys two guys podcast like yeah who won the most two guys who won the most like we're just guys We're just guys and and and it doesn't need to be like it doesn't need to say like the most or anything it just needs to be this yeah It's just be like picture you can see most these guys the most that could be the name of the award
Starting point is 01:04:14 It's like these guys. Yes, you know most these guys of podcasts We're the most like these guys well not even just the most like these guys But the most like those guys right the most like see that's what we are I think we are you know like when people are like oh do you feel famous or whatever I'm like I'm not I just feel like people go that guy no guy you know what I mean you're y'all I got Travis Kelsey it's like that guy oh it's like oh those guys right that guy those guys oh you're that guy that guy. That's what I feel like exactly I don't feel famous and I define what we are experiencing is fame, right?
Starting point is 01:04:49 I experience it as just like oh you those guys Yeah, because anytime someone recognizes me and they just go like you're that guy and yeah, that's what we're experiencing Yeah, so people magazine Make it make it we'd like to win an award. For something. I don't even care what it is! It doesn't even need to be a physical award. I doubt anyone's giving a physical award to Jason and Travis Kelty for being sexy.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I'll stop you there. I'd love a physical award. Oh, okay. You can have it. I have a physical award to determine how sexy I am, and that is my wife. Now I recant that Wow not an object Oh my god. There it is. Oh my god. She makes me feel sexy. Here we go He said she's a there's that she's probably an award bitch She is a she is an absolute award that I consider every single day of my life You're trying to save it, but you called her an object
Starting point is 01:05:41 Wow Get him. Uh... Me? Why me? There's other people to get right now. Merth. Get them. Get other people. There's some other people that might need getting goted. We're feeling Merth-y today. I think. Can I say that? That's honestly...
Starting point is 01:05:57 I don't know how to use it. That sounds a little mean too. How to get... how to use Merth. Cheeriness. I am full of mirth So it's like usage of the word mirth in the 1800s had a moment yeah steady decline up until
Starting point is 01:06:17 1950 but then it starts moving up are we bringing mirth back? Well, I don't What do you touch? That's weird. What? It's like so, but look you see how it's like there's a dip in 1980. No one's mirthing. Well everyone was on coke and they wore, they for some reason wore suits and rolled up the sleeves.
Starting point is 01:06:38 But mirth is on the rise dude. We can do it. We have brought back, Joey look at me, seriously. Look at me. We can do it. We have brought back, Joey look at me, seriously. Look at me. We can do it. Look at me. With our show, with our words, we have brought back crap. I don't know about crap.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Liborius. That came and went. We can do it. It had a moment though. We brought Red Lobster straight out of bankruptcy and don't get don't get me wrong I see you guys tagging us and trying to use our juju to bring TGI Fridays out of bankruptcy TGI Fridays You need to earn it earn it Earn our earn it and we'll get we'll pull you out just like we did red lobster and just like we're doing with mirth
Starting point is 01:07:22 I I'm trying to look up Red Lobster and just like we're doing with mirth I I'm trying to look up laborious like the usage of that one and get this chart because if there was a fucking like a Then I then it that would be great. I'm just saying listen. I know people are gonna say you know I went to school I understand the use of statistics. I took a Quantitative analysis of statistics in criminal justice. This is all stuff that I did study and got a degree in I just want to say yes
Starting point is 01:07:48 Causation does not necessarily mean causation but In this situation we're going to We have revived some different stuff. Um There's a tick give me a tick Show me a tick. It only goes up to 2019. So that was those. What did you think? We started using it after that? Yeah way after that honestly, but oh wait, hold on 1800s to let me get let me get to 2023 That's oh 2022
Starting point is 01:08:21 There's a very steady decline from the year 2010 to 2019. So, but there's no more data. But I will say that- Data, data, data, do you data? Yes, yes, yes. What's data? Data and data, data and data. But when do you use the one and the other?
Starting point is 01:08:38 Data, data is like computer, oh no, that's data. Data is number, data is computers. Technology is data, numbers is data. Data, wait, that's data data's number data is computers technologies data numbers is data Data wait, which one's data don't care. Why are we focusing on this data? All I'm saying is the numbers could They're promising we have brought back laborious crap Red lobster our words have power. Okay, right, you know they say our words our Lobster our words have power. Okay, right, you know they say our words our
Starting point is 01:09:22 Our words good pronounce have power. Good, pronounce. Have power. Yeah. Okay. Yes. What do they say? The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both. Our tongue has revived.
Starting point is 01:09:38 Did you make that up? No, baby. Revived laborious. It has revived crap. Red lobster. TGI Fridays You have a chance to do something really cool and maybe we'll get on board and help you out here TGI Friday Yeah, they just filed for bankruptcy. They're looking got it. Now people are tagging us like you guys know what to do
Starting point is 01:09:54 We need your help here. I've never even been inside one. Okay, I have and I've had some good times in TGI Fridays. So Has anyone ever like can you look a sword by the way can you yes absolutely you can look a sword I'm looking and ask how you know that but think of think of a sigh you know what a sigh is a mini like the mini swords that like a Raphael has because he holds them like oh those things yeah they have like the you know like yeah those are called called sighs. They're just mini swords You've never seen like someone like it up
Starting point is 01:10:33 No, I've never seen them in person either. You've not played enough Mortal Kombat, babe. You're right. Yeah Because you know who uses sighs in Mortal Kombat Melina Carmen Electra no well yeah well she's Electra you know well no wait a sec Carmen Electra is the act the model Electra is the act the model Electra yeah played Did common election play her no you play like a miss garner feels like a missed opportunity it was but also probably not right But she has sighs correct. You know and she punches sandbags Mm-hmm she had sandbags, but then also Molina for Mortal Kombat who is the failed clone between... Too far, too far, too far
Starting point is 01:11:15 Too much, we're gonna be here all day, we're gonna fucking listen He doesn't want me to get into the Tarkatan army, but we're not gonna do that today. The Tarkata? Tarkat? Tarkat? Well, it depends if we're going pre Mortal Kombat 1 Ooh, ooh, ooh, and we gotta go, We ran out of time. We ran out of time. Frank, where can they find you? Okay, FAlver's at 85 on Twitter. These Frank Alvarez on all the forms of social media, Instagram, TikTok, bingo, bango. Check it out. And then check out Patreon, patreon.com slash The Basin of an Art.
Starting point is 01:11:43 We love that you folks have been helping us grow on there and we want to keep growing so tell your friends the holidays are Coming up if you want to gift a patreon subscription. That's a great idea. Go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard Yep, you guys can go follow me at Joe Sanagato go follow the show at the base me aren't on tik-tok and Instagram and that is all See you guys next time so pre-mortal combat one the Tarkatans were an actual race. I'm ending I'm stopping it. Okay.

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