The Basement Yard - #477 - The World's Sexiest Podcast Hosts
Episode Date: November 18, 2024We're bringing sexy back! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Welcome back to the base-
Music
Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going? Ah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh your thumbs out just right here what is this hitchhiking hitchhiking craziness
dude my father-in-law tells me all the time he's like yeah I used to do it a
lot and I'm like why how has he not been killed because he's a white man no one
wants to kill white men that's true they didn't want to kill white men back then
they needed them they were like we need you yeah Ronald Reagan was out there
that was a little later I guess.
What?
Ronald Reagan was later on.
What is Ronald, oh did he say that?
I mean, I imagine when people think of like,
white men in the US, they close their eyes,
they see Ronald Reagan.
That's what you see?
Personally?
I don't even know what I see.
I mean, I mean.
Well yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do I see? Don't even know what I said, I mean I mean
You see it I said yes, but like I think of
Met I think men of a certain generation or people of a certain generation when they think of like the prototypical
Close your eyes see an American white man. It's you know, man, it's fucking leather face Ronald Reagan. He's long dead by the way.
He's not still alive.
Ronald Reagan?
Ronald Reagan, Ronnie Riggs?
Yeah, yeah.
He died.
Yeah.
I think, right?
You said long dead, so now I don't.
When did Ronnie Riggs die?
Look that shit up, bitch.
I always get him confused with Richard Nixon.
Very, very, very easy to make the distinction.
Ronald Reagan, dead?
Question.
Ronald Reagan, Nixon, right?
2004, dude, he's super.
Bro, Ronald Reagan was born in 1911.
Yeah, man, that's an old bastard.
Older than my fucking old dead grandma.
Both of them.
Both of our grandmothers.
Yeah, yeah.
29 I think.
Mine was 29 too, yeah.
What the hell?
That's really crazy.
That is weird.
Actually no, mine was 26.
And this is a serious, serious way that I remember it
because 9-11.
Frank.
You remember what year your grandma was born? Because of 9-11.
Tell us the mnemonic device that you created. Tell us. Well because we did a
75th birthday party for her and we had it on tape and on tape are my mom, my aunt,
my uncle and they're talking about like the devastation of 9-11.
On her birthday tape?
Yeah.
You're telling me it's a bunch of people being like,
happy birthday, ya ya.
And then it cuts to your mom being like,
we're at war now.
They were just saying the world is a really scary place
and it's nice to come together and stuff like that.
And that's how I remember what year she was born
because of, it's a weird like this is not a joke wait
But I'm confused what's confusing was how soon after 9-eleven did you have this birthday party?
Through less than three months oh
Because my grandmother's birthday was December 1st, and it was her 75th birthday
And it was a math you know I I remember yeah so it was somewhere within
you know Larry it was like my they like it was a big I remember it was like a
big family thing I brought a plastic you're gonna laugh hysterically at me
I'm sure I will go ahead first of all one this is when I tried out my
breakdancing on the video there's it like I have to get this video wait you
were doing you went through a break dancing phase yeah yeah I tried I tried
maybe I just don't remember you don't remember it I probably did too and I've
since told you any ripaway pants I'm in I did have a ripaway pants with the
buttons yeah that was I think those two things might have been mutually
exclusive right not entirely lined up yeah but on the, like, they did, like, remember, like, we had that, like, family thing where
they would, like, film parties?
And that was, like, a whole industry of, like, party filming.
Yeah, with the big fucking cameras.
With the big fucking camera.
And it was always the same bald white guy.
He, like, did my baptism.
I don't remember his name, but.
Oh, my mom filmed ours.
Oh, we had, like, a-
You hired?
There was someone hired, dude.
Yeah.
And he would like cut and edit the whole thing
and put like graphics over it.
Remember those like 90s graphics
where it was just like the film rolling down?
Yeah, yeah.
And it was like, you know,
Gloria's 75th birthday.
Damn.
And then it's just, you know,
an hour of people at a table talking
and then a mic being handed to them.
They're like
Happy birthday, Gloria. We wish you the best
We hope you're doing well to 75 more I do
Yeah, they would hand it off to somebody else and they would I've seen that for weddings But you guys were doing that for birthday parties
For my grandmother 75th, I need to find this tape. And like, it was a big thing.
And it was-
And you were break dancing on it?
I was break dancing on the dance floor, babe.
And I had brought with me, I remember very clearly, I brought with me a plastic bag.
Good old plastic bags, by the way, of wrestling figures.
So like, if I got bored, I was just, I would go under the table and have like a Hell in a Cell match underneath a banquet table I mean yeah isn't fourth
grade though too old for that yeah yeah yeah I feel like toys are eternal babe
okay but like if you go to a like a fucking party or something. You're not bringing toys for miles
Fourth graders now are different than when we were in fourth grade we could we could say that tell yourself that I
Mean, they're probably smarter, but like I can openly say that yeah, but I think bringing a bunch of
Plastic bag full of toys dude. Can I say something really quick? Yeah, I'm ready for the backlash
Right. Are you ready for what the backlash of?
Toys no
America let me talk to you. You need someone to talk for you right now. So let me do it. Okay
Plastic bags are just better than any other type of bag.
That was...
Paper bags are trash.
Reusable?
You know how many reusable bags I have now?
We've openly just had to give them away to people.
Yeah, I have mad reusable bags.
No, and, cause any time I go...
Cause I'm not reusing it.
Bro, plastic bags were not only great bags
Minus the whole pollution and stuff that was bad. I Frank. That's the whole thing
There's no other reason why we got rid of them, but plastic bags became so much more than just plastic bags they became
Like
Dog shitter picker-upper. What are they called? No they make dog bags
I know but those are not as cool as a just a giant trade fair plastic bag.
No, I don't want to pick up dog shit with a giant Trader Joe's bag.
Trader Joe's never had plastic bags.
Well, you know what I mean. A trade fair, whatever.
Trade fair, that's it.
You don't do that.
I get a little thing now. It goes on the on the-
I know what it goes on. We had those. I'm just saying.
Those are great.
Having a place in your house that had thousands of plastic bags. You get a little thing now, it goes on the leash. I know what it goes on, we had those. Those are great.
I'm just saying, having a place in your house that had
thousands of plastic bags.
Yeah.
From the fucking-
My mom still has that.
From the 80s, that is a relic.
Do you realize you are sitting on like
fucking history, babe.
Yeah, I mean, that's a little crazy. I feel like you're going on the wall with plastic bags.
I'm just saying, like, I am all on board.
Big Oil convinced us that we were fucking up the world with plastic bags I feel like you're going a little while. I'm just saying like I am I am all on board big oil
Convinced us that we were fucking up the world with plastic bags when they were sitting there drilling into the fucking third layer of the earth's
mantle and crust So they were like you spilling it all over the ducks guys
I'm just telling you as there's fucking oil all over these poor damn ducks
Yeah, gotta get rid of plastic straws. You gotta get rid of plastic bags
I will say this whoever is working in the marketing department for over at dawn and was like, you know
Let's just go over there and start washing the seals and put that on TV
You're a genius and you deserve everything you have. I will say I will I will agree to that
I mean, I think I think there's a I think Big Soap and Big Oil have gotten together
and they're just like, make us look bad,
but help sell some of your stuff
and we'll get people's attention away from the fact
that we are draining the world of its natural resources.
Frank, I think exactly the opposite is happening.
Dawn is like raising awareness of the fact
that these idiots are spilling oil into the fucking ocean.
Are they, or is it just a big conspiracy?
Why would they make big soap?
We're onto you.
Don't don't be confused.
Don't think I'm not onto anything.
I believe in so Joe is with me here.
I know I'm not I believe in soap, but I believe in good soaps
natural soaps.
I'm not going to give out any free plugs right here unless some
companies want to start sending me some free stuff Frank is now
You're a whore is what you are. They say he's a whore
Whore I'm a slut for soap. Okay good. So how's that better?
Whore you get nothing in return
slut
Here's and live in the dream, baby
And I've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones so like whores been throwing around a lot. Oh you're rewatching Game of Thrones? Yeah.
Is it that dark of a time in our country's fucking history that you want
to watch one of the most gray and dark shows ever put on TV? Peter Bailesh.
Oh he's such a little, he's such a rascal. Yeah. He's such a rascal. You're
mad horny when you use that word. I feel like no no no
I wasn't what was his name in the show? Peter Bailish. Yeah, but what's his like nickname? Oh little finger little fingers
Yeah, yeah rascal. Yeah
And he's always scheming and stuff like that. He is that's a testament to the actor. Yeah, he's good
He's very very good in that show you all up to date on penguin
Yes
Unbelievable, right? Ah He's very very good in that show you all up to date on penguin. Yes
Unbelievable. Yes. Ah
My god, that's a good penguin penguin penguin. So
Didn't it wasn't wasn't watching any of that. I mean the other day obviously I was watching the election one word to describe the election
reactions
One word Scared cool. I was gonna go with yikes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what I was gonna go with.
I was gonna go with yikes.
There's a bit of a yikes in there somewhere.
Big yikes.
Um... is what it is.
Uh, I guess.
And, uh...
Fucking jeez.
I went to bed that night...
I don't know if these things are related.
Went to bed that night woke
up at 5 o 2 a.m. and I had a very that's a very presidential hour I just want to
throw that out well I had a very vivid dream of my mom being racist yeah good
I'm gonna go out on the slightest of limbs here okay okay that's there might
be a little relation right there.
I think it was like, I was like.
They're not like brother sister relation.
Wait, what are we talking about here?
Because my mom's not racist.
I know your mom's not racist.
I'm saying the way that your brain was operating.
Oh yeah, I was just like.
Your mom is an old white woman though.
I know, but she's a saint.
She loves everybody.
She is, your mom is a great woman with a good heart.
I immediately texted her and told her by the way. And what did she respond back? She said did she show you her like voting slip?
No.
I forgot what she said, but she was not happy.
But I- Your mom was mad that you- why can I ask you a serious question?
Cuz I think that people- I don't care about your mom. No hold on just listen to what she said.
What she said was- hold on I gotta remember cuz I wrote't care. I don't care about your mom. No, hold on. Just listen to what she said. What she said was, hold on, I gotta remember it because I wrote it down.
It's great. It was great podcasting,
great entertainment for the folks
that are watching this right now.
What?
That you're sitting there just trying to find something.
Are you fucking crazy?
You, out of all people.
Oh, yo, hold on. Let me look this up.
15 minutes go by and you're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, you're just making noise like that. You shut the fuck up. I found it already
Okay
So the very tense couple days
I don't there was like a whole like stuff going on in the stream But the only part that I remember was that I wrote this in the family group chat I said I had a dream that mom was racist at
one point she just says I really just don't think you can learn anything from
minorities and I shot up from my seat like are you fucking insane and then I
woke up I imagine your mom's reaction was like what do you think of me? I don't know what she said. No, she just wrote, quite the contrary.
I just, I get very fired up when like, I'll be very honest with you.
I don't remember my dreams 99.999% of the time.
You're a big dream guy.
You wake up, you immediately start writing.
But what does that mean that you can remember dreams is that I don't know I
sleeping I'm sleeping better I don't know honestly I mean you take
melatonin I don't take melatonin have you ever yeah does it then you dream I'll
tell you something right now seriously yeah I have not slept well in maybe a
year and I've been open I've told you about that I just can't sleep I don't
know what's wrong with me but take a fat tone in I did in that in. And I've been open, I've told you about that. I just can't sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore.
But take a fat tone in.
I, in that time, I've taken, I've toned.
You've taken?
I've taken and toned.
I've even started taking other stuff
that people are like, this is also good for sleep.
NyQuil, randomly?
Magnesium threonate.
What the fuck is that?
Yeah, babe, I'm drugged up over here.
Wow.
Try to sleep well.
Wait, threonate or threonate?
Threonate.
Oh, threonate. There have been claims that like, it helps you with sleep, wait three and eight or three and eight three oh Nate Oh three oh there have been claims that like it helps you with sleep like and got it
Um, I can't speak for other people only could speak for myself. All right, not helping me with a goddamn thing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still taking it because I paid a couple bucks for the bottle, dude
I could take 10 milligrams of melatonin and it will I will have it be having motion pictures
You know what? I'm gonna do tonight. I'm gonna go home and 50 milligramsatonin and I will be having motion pictures. You know what I'm gonna do?
Tonight, I'm gonna go home.
10, 50 milligrams, I don't know what's a safe amount.
Yeah, I don't know, it might hurt me,
but I also have young kids, I don't want to,
God forbid there's like an intruder or something,
I don't want to be like fast asleep.
Wake up.
Wake up.
So I'm gonna, like, I don't know,
there's no way around this,
but I'm gonna try to not overdose on melatonin,
but like I'm gonna see what's an unhealthy amount
and I'm gonna get right below that,
right below that threshold.
The daily recommended and be like, we'll take that.
Well, I have the extra strength gummies.
And it's like-
Oh, you got gum.
And it's like two gummies is like,
I think it's like 10 milligrams.
Gummies are great. Like some of the best shit we've ever done in this world is like impl I think it's like 10 milligrams. Gummies are great.
Like some of the best shit we've ever done in this world
is like implanted things in gummies.
Can I say something really quick?
Like protein gummies.
Can I say something real quick?
Mm-hmm.
I have been, you know, I've spoken with you candidly,
I'm on a bit of a health journey, okay?
Okay.
I am trying to be a healthier version of myself.
Not because I'm normally unhealthy,
but just because I wanna feel good about myself, right
Whom is to blame for greens powder
Oh that at the athletic greens whether it be that I don't want to name any companies in particular because
Want it for free? No, no, I'm just saying you hate them. I hate them all because they taste like shit because they're getting in trouble. You want it for free. No, no, no, I'm just saying. You hate them.
I hate them all.
Well, because they taste like shit?
Because they're just like, they're delicious.
They're a part of your-
They're not delicious.
They are not.
They taste like chalk and grass, fucked,
and then they're secretly cousins,
and you have their inbred child in your mouth right now.
Okay?
Who in the fuck is just like, oh.
Yeah, nah, yeah.
No, they're not good.
You have a great solution.
I know there are companies now
that are starting to put them into gummies,
but I don't trust those either.
No, I have, wait, what?
There are companies now that are doing like-
Protein gummies?
They're greens, the green gummies.
Oh.
And again, I don't wanna name companies
because I wanna upset people, but like-
You don't trust them.
I don't trust them. companies that I want to upset people but like you don't trust them I don't trust them been burned by greens
Well, I had they're just like put a put this into a cup of a glass of water
It doesn't even look good and watch your diet change completely
The only thing that has changed is the amount of toilet paper. We've had to buy in our
It's so good and you drink it and you're like, you like choke it down.
Does it make you, like your colon blow up?
I don't know what it does, but whatever it's doing doesn't feel good.
Right.
You know?
I'm usually like, like protein for whatever reason I can't, there's only one protein that
works for me.
And it's like, it's like these shakes, honestly honestly I'll free plug them because I like them, but that's called Owen
Owin only what you need
But it's like oh, I've heard of those. It's like plant brace braced
Pran brace protein
But it's like plant based bro, bro, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
Well, I'll say it, you just continue. Plant-based protein.
Boom.
And then, um, plant-based protein.
Thank you, God.
And then, uh, there's like some fiber in it,
whatever, and it's like, I think it's like 20 grams of protein.
But like, those are the only things that don't fuck me up.
But if I just take regular, like, whey protein...
I do well with whey protein.
My issue is now I'm being, again,
I'm being more health aware and cognizant
is I'll look at it and it'll be like,
this is the best quality.
Dude, I went to, I'm not gonna say it
because I don't want to insult the guy,
but I went to like a supplement shop not long ago
and it was the most dude bro guy in the world.
And he was just like, what do you got today? Just went to the gym. Fucking awesome, bro guy in the world and he was just like what do you got today just went to the gym fucking awesome bro like he was
just like what are you looking for and I was like this he's like honestly this is
super yummy like just like okay I'm talking about but all of them have just
artificial flavoring and I'm afraid of that stuff because like, you love hot dogs. You're afraid of protein.
Well, I, first of all, there's no rebuttal.
A hot dog is much worse.
I'm just a little more aware of,
I'm a little more scared of artificial flavoring
when I have a protein that's just like,
what flavor of this?
This is crunchy berry, fat tits flavor.
And it really tastes like fucking giant knockers.
What store is this?
Shit.
What are you doing?
Oh, here we go.
I'm not doing this.
Frank's got another idea.
Big business.
Actually, you know what?
I'm gonna save it.
I just pitched you a Patreon episode
that you'll have to watch in order to get it.
Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard.
I'm gonna write this in my phone right now,
but your mom may be racist.
Definitely not.
She's not.
Definitely not, yeah.
No, but also like whenever there's like proteins
that are like, this one's flavored fruity pebbles.
I'm like, this feels like someone came into a bowl of fruity pebbles
Dude, this is doesn't taste like fruity pebbles. This is disgusting
No a lot of them but see that's the thing is that a lot of them do scarily
Actually taste like what they are, but they're not like related to like they're not officially branded
I don't like the the like film that it leaves in the film. There's a film and I don't like that either.
I'm with you there.
I don't like that feeling,
but I get the same thing from Captain Crunch.
That film, I don't like that.
Oh man, I'll-
I love Captain Crunch.
There's a new study that came out
that was like Captain Crunch is the most unhealthy.
Bro, by the way, can we like, it's Captain Crunch.
I know it says cap in crunch
Oh, but who's pronouncing it nobody and if you ever meet anyone that correct me, I'm gonna cut your head off
And honestly, I'll be right there with the saw. Okay, I'll hand you this saw to cut the head
Oh, I was gonna do with a sword. I've been watching Game of Thrones. There it is. That's right. Yeah sword
It's stock
Valerian steel man. I maybe I know I don't want to
rewatch that yeah I wish that we could go back to the days of like 2011 when
pre-workout was basically just drugs or they were all named after shit that explodes. It was like TNT. No XC for no explode
TNT sodium bicarbonate
What are you drinking? Oh me I'm drinking nitroglycerin XL the pussy crusher. Yeah
Bro I used to hit fire. Yeah, why are you drinking that or they get like demonic with it? Like I remember there was one that was called like the curse
That's crazy. Oh one time. This is the though
I took I've only taken pre-workout like a handful of times the first time I ever took it in my life
I was like maybe 23 years old and it was called assault. Yeah
Literally called assault and I thought
my fucking heart was gonna dude burst out of my chest one there was one that
was called like the demon and I and I remember Danny and I had taken it my
brother-in-law and he was I actively texted him like I blacked out for 40
minutes and I woke up at the end of a fucking
Insanity video. Yeah, like it's crazy there
Why I could feel every hair on my body and just be like I'm fucking Jesus dude. I I swear to God I
I've actively said out loud like this is what I imagine Emperor Palpatine feels like
See and this is what you gotta do you gotta fucking say Star Wars shit in the middle of this because like I remember I would
feel like
Electricity coming in bro in that moment
Do it! whether it was because of the possible traces of amphetamines in the pre-workout which there were a lot
There were some or because of my inability to grow up
I felt like I could shoot electricity out of my hands
Do it
Seriously, I'm telling you, you know, but uh, yeah
No, I go just circling back your mom is a very kind person. Clearly your dream was had a dream
I will say it was probably related to
Some things that may or may not have been said about certain people that might have been running for office in certain parts of this country
or the whole country certain, you know
but
Yeah, so
You know, I don't even know that is
After what happened with the Yankees was the last was the last dream you had that you can remember
Don't fucking lie and make something up. No, I'm honestly I'm serious right now When was the last dream you had that you can remember? Man.
Don't fucking lie and make something up.
No, I'm honestly, I'm serious right now.
I really can't remember much.
Oddly enough, the ones that I can remember
are the ones that are like nightmares.
Like I wake up scared.
Oh.
But.
Sometimes I have dreams that like aren't cool.
Like it was like I had a dream that I was like on my couch
and then I wake up and be like, I wasn't on my couch.
Yeah.
Like that's so stupid.
That is very stupid. And I'll go one my couch and then I wake up and be like I wasn't on my couch Yeah, like that's so stupid that is very stupid and I'll go one step further and say
Have better dreams, dude. I know like that that makes me feel like there's something wrong with I get really worked up when I do
Have a dream and I'll tell someone about it and they'll be like, what do you think of me?
And it's like I don't actively think anything about you. Yeah sort like your mom, right? You know, You know, I don't think I've ever dreamed of your mom.
You fucking better not.
But like what I'm saying is like,
in that situation, like your mom could be like,
what do you think of me?
And it's like, I'm not thinking you're a racist at all.
Yeah, you think I'm implanting this
inception style in my head?
I think there was one time I had a dream about you
and you said, said and I told you
And you were like, what do you think of me? And I was just like
Nothing bad, but just like oh, oh, but that was crazy. Which one was it? Do you remember?
I think I don't remember exactly what it was
But like I think you you had a dream that I called you like disgusting or something like something ridiculous
Yeah, it might have been but like again, I don't think you're a bad person but like maybe it's my fears
Maybe I'm afraid you're secretly a bad person. There's a dream expert just being like ooh and just going crazy
Oh my god
There are people there are people that love horoscopes right now that are just like well wait until you find out what happens if you
Have teeth in your dream. Yeah, you know which I used to have that dream a lot. Yeah, you're I had a dream once
That like I was eating and like my tooth, my teeth like chipped or
something I was like, oh fuck, so I went to the mirror and I'm like this and then all my side teeth were like
welded together like it was one big tooth.
Fucking debunk that!
I gotta say that sounds kind of cool dude. To have one big side mouth tooth? If, all right, so there are like three,
four parts of your teeth, okay?
Are you about to give me a lesson on teeth, Dr. Alvarez?
Yes, I am, patient bitch.
Um.
Ha!
Ha!
Tell me about the four parts of my teeth,
and if you say, if you say top or bottom, I'm gonna come over there and if you say if you say top or bottom I'm gonna come over
there and assault you. Alright so I won't say top or bottom. Don't say roots either.
Okay I won't say roots baby. Good. Okay different parts of your mouth have
different purposes okay. Oh no. Okay the front part of your teeth right here
they're called incisors because they're meant to scissor they're meant to say
I'm cutting the ice, you know when you bite something you cut it with this. You know your canine you have them sharp
I know I got sharp canine kind of cool though. I gotta be honest. I could buy beers open. You could be like
Yeah, I don't you could I guess
But those are meant to puncture.
So it'll puncture and they'll start the incisors.
And then, so maybe it's three parts of the teeth.
Mollers.
And the Mollers are meant to grind them into a paste.
Damn, dude.
Look at you're doing.
You're grinding on nipples right now.
That's what you're doing.
That's it, right?
Are you a, how many fingers on nipples are you going?
Are you going two? Are you going three? Are you going more?
I don't go like this. What am I?
Tony soprano like begging for nipple. I don't wanna be a chicken
I
Don't know I
Feel like I'm more like saying hi you're more. Oh, you're more. Well, I'm't know. I feel like I'm more like saying hi.
You're more, oh you're more like-
Well I'm not waxing on and off, I'm not doing this.
You're more Mr. Miyagi.
I don't know.
I think you're-
Sometimes I'll, you know?
I can't speak from, I can't speak from experience with you because you've never rubbed nipples
in front of me and you've never touched my nipples.
Right, well I can't get close to your nipples. Yeah, you're damn right you can't- You've got an electric fence around in front of me and you've never touched my nipples. Right.
Well, I can't get close to your nipples.
You're damn right you can't pinch.
You've got an electric fence around those things.
You're damn right.
Yeah.
So like I imagine-
I've probably pinched your nipples.
You're like a, you're like a, you know, you're like a, you're like a, you're like a white
man that doesn't know how to salsa dance.
What is this?
You know, like that's what I imagine you are.
Frank, why would I be doing this?
You're like a Doctor Strange.
No, that's not what I'm doing.
I feel like you would do that.
No, I...
Yeah, you would, Mr. Comic Books.
Oh.
Fucking guy.
Raaah!
The Book of Ashanti plays with your titties!
I don't even know what that means.
The Book of Ashanti?
Oh, hi! I'm jacked up today. I can tell I took the curse
Had some assault before I got here
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Well, I think that this story, I think someone sent it to me and they were like, this feels
like a base mirror topic and like they're not wrong.
Apparently the North Korean soldiers are addicted to porn because they just got access to it
for the first time.
Because I don't think you're allowed to watch porn in North Korea.
No, North Korea is pretty strict on their no internet access no POR and we're not
saying anything about them who North Korea I mean we're not there it's fine
no I know they got that's true if they saw that Seth Rogen James Franco movie
you think they're not seeing us that's true oh no wait what are those yeah
those in theaters.
So like once a podcast,
but also that was their balloon, wasn't it?
Am I making that up?
I can't remember.
I think it was China.
Oh, it was China's balloon.
I think it was China's balloon.
I can't remember.
You, isn't that crazy?
Doesn't that speak to how insane our world is
that there is a balloon maybe from China,
just like hanging out above our country.
And then we just- Not one balloon above our country and then not one balloon well
And then we just forget about it. Yeah
Stuff's happening these days. There's some stuff. I'm just the shit is burning. It's happening
Yeah, we're you know the reason that yeah, so the North Korean soldiers were sent to assist in the Ukraine and Russian
war
Which we're not gonna touch on that
but and Russian war, which we're not gonna touch on that.
But now they have access to the internet for the first time and apparently they've been going porn crazy.
Right, yeah.
Which they have unrestricted internet access in Russia
and the first thing they do when they get there,
they're just like big tits.
It's fucking crazy.
Do you think a
Well jerked-off soldier is a better soldier or worse soldier Frank? I'm not even going to dignify that question with a response
Because what are you talking about? Well like it like let's use the logic of alright. Let's go back to
Ancient Greece ancient Greece, ancient Rome. Okay. Too far back? No, I just don't know. What are
you asking me? I'm saying, do you think like their mentality is just like if they are celibate
and they don't masturbate, they don't have sex, they're a better soldier or a worse soldier?
Like would you want someone that's just fat balls? I have no idea bro
You don't know?
No I don't know that plays a part in it
I mean I'm gonna say it probably
I just think it's interesting
I think it's interesting that like
the second you get unrestricted access to the internet
it's like that's like that is that like innate in people
because when you're younger
and you're like 11 or something or 12
or I don't know when we started looking at porn
But like as soon as you get like a computer that you're like no one's around you're like you Google like girls with see-through shirts
Wet t-shirt contest you go to wet white t-shirts calm
Bro, I'm not kidding when I was younger. I would look up wet t-shirt contest. Why would I not just look at no shirt?
Stuff yeah, but I was like wet t-shirt contest. I'm like that was cool
That's a weird thing. Do you remember if you would just stay watching TV up until a certain time?
You'd see the commercials for girls gone wild. Do you remember? I don't remember that what I honestly don't remember
I've never seen girls gone wild ever. I mean, I've never seen it either, but I remember it would be like midnight
or 1 a.m. watching TV.
Midnight or 1 a.m.?
How old, Frank?
I mean- Because my father-
I was like 13 maybe, like 12, 13, 14, around that age.
And like, it would be like, order today.
This is when you had to, listen,
if you were addicted to porn in the early in the late 90s early
2000s you were working. Yeah
Better have a good job. You had to fucking mail in a check you had to call this number
Yeah, mail in like four checks for like 1608 each
Yeah, get back a tape. Yeah, that was just like
Having tapes of porn to me is so bananas crazy have an actual
Actual physical porn is a fully ripe banana. Well that was before like the internet now
I know but like a box of porn dude
like the internet now. I know, but like a box of porn, dude, relax.
Yeah, that was the thing back then
is that you had a porn collection.
Yeah.
What movie was that?
40 year old virgin. 40 year old virgin.
He's just like, here's my porn collection,
it's yours now.
Yeah.
Crazy, like, do you remember there was a video store
in our neighborhood that we would sneak into the back,
the porn section of it?
And they had XXX.
And they had like, it would be like, you would see just the back of the porn section of it and they had xxx and they had like it would be like you would see just the name at the top and there
was like a black card in front of the picture and you would move the black
card and it was just like yeah girls go well you don't remember those
commercials where it was just like we went to the craziest college
New Orleans!
Yeah.
Or-ling.
What did I just say?
I don't know.
I said New Orleans.
We went to New Orleans!
They would do like seasonal tapes.
They'd be like, guess what's out?
The Mardi Gras tape.
The Girls Gone Wild, volume 8, Mardi Gras mamas.
How did that start, by the way? We're going to give you beads if you show us your tits.
How is that an even trade?
Google that, baby.
Where did tits for beads come from?
I mean, because honestly,
if I'm dumping it out, I want to see.
I want something better than beads.
Yeah, I want like something that I can get at any fucking bar mitzvah I go to.
Bar mitzvah. Yeah, I've never been to a bar. I miss her. I was the king of bar mitzvah
I know you had a lot of Jewish friends bar and Bob mitzvahs man. I was those are like the first Jewish people
I had ever seen
Do you know that I'm serious your Jewish friends were the only Jewish people I knew isn't that weird
Yeah, but there's no there's no Jews in our neighborhood
There were not any Jewish people in our neighborhood that we knew of maybe they were hiding
like they were like afraid to be open about their religion it's possible there
are people like that but not in our neighborhood how do you know because it
was a nice neighborhood oh you say that you never know yeah I guess that's the
whole idea if they're afraid to say that they're
They're afraid to be openly Jewish because they were afraid there was no synagogues in our neighborhood either
That is correct, but that doesn't mean they can't travel for them. Yeah, I'm just saying what uh, what was I typing in?
Where did boobs for Mardi Gras come from?
boobs for beads
Mardi Gras a lot while you're looking that up. I need to give a shout out to those I think their podcast called like almost Friday or something like that
Yeah, you ever seen the videos they do where the guy just grabs a Roku remote and speaks into it
I fucking love that shit. He's like stinky sticky tits stinky tits Reese Witherspoon kicked off of set for having just
stinky tits Reese Witherspoon kicked off of set for having just stinky tits
Yeah, it's like stink lines cartoonishly coming from just giant tits
The tradition of flashing from Mardi Gras is beginning 1970s
So there's there's people who are named that were
The credited with this. Oh like the founders of tits for beads
basically, who are they 1976 and
Lena Curtis a 19 year old artist from Jackson Square may have been the first to flash for beads
She sat on her friend's shoulders above the crowds and stretched down her bare chest to the riders
Straight Oh stretched it down to show her there, bro
I'm thinking what yeah stretch them down
If you're gonna if you're gonna knock your tits out. Yeah, are you going up or are you going down?
That's a good question if it was me
Cuz I probably go up I would go up to going downs like
But that's when women wore more like blouses and stuff like teach crewneck t-shirts are a lot more popular with
I think if you got big
Knock bags you got to go up well
You can't get a man ruin it you'll ruin a shirt ruin the neck of the shirt in the neck of a shirt
Yeah, you know so yeah, but if you got oh if you got cool little ones
He's like fucking you know I mean
Or it depends what kind of shirt you're wearing yeah, if it is a blouse it is a blouse. If it's a structured neck, you gotta go up.
Yeah, you're gonna ruin the shirt.
What feels more like...
Just go, just go.
Wait, why did someone see a pair of tits and then just give her beats?
I don't know. I don't know.
And then it says in 1975, This is Alex Allen and Robert Spencer
These like made-up names Robert Spencer
Some Ronald Reagan is coming to mind right now. No, that's wrong
Allen and Spencer witnessed a young woman on a balcony flashing for beads in 1975. So oh, oh no, those are different years
So I was gonna say maybe they saw
and
Curtis or whatever the fuck
Some say the practice started in the gay community and spread in popularity stole it from the gays
Classic stealing from the gaze coolest thing comes from the gaze. I'm telling you right now other thing name one other thing go
Really like fruity drinks
What
What? Those are good.
Those right?
I saw a TikTok the other day.
It's mad funny.
It was like a girl like out on a date.
A guy over there and he's like drinking.
It just says like, stop ordering an old fashioned.
We know you don't like it.
Just get the strawberry daiquiri.
Yeah dude.
I was like, bro. I am NOT like that
I'm getting the motherfucking like
Flamingo the the flying flamingo. I watched Joey get a glass of wine in a glass bird
With a straw in its ass
Are you that I fucking drank the shit out of it dude and I'll be honest with you. It looked way cooler than any
Manhattan I've ever had in my entire fun. Yeah, that was good. You know oh, there's an orange peel and muddled cherry cool
Give me the one that has mango and fucking salt pineapple or something
Hell yeah, it comes in a hollowed-out coconut uh-huh. I've done that before
That's a lot of fun
one time I got a coconut and it had the circular ice in it and the drink in
there but it was like this is the best and then of course you know like
everyone was just like no I'm not gonna drink that yet you know give me just
give me an ice cold lager stop yeah Yeah. Man pissed off.
Love that.
But yeah, I guess.
Stole it from the gays.
Stole it from the gays.
I don't know how, but who's flashing?
What gays are showing their tits?
To others.
I mean, wait, what?
But like, lesbians?
Lesbians?
Yeah.
You know what, actually no, I guess that makes sense.
I was gonna say, like, gay is just like gay men, you think of gay men.
Yeah. But gay is also lesbian, like lesbians. Gay is lesbian.
So they... but what is the origin of that word?
Lesbian? And gay, I guess.
We have the world at our fingertips right there!
How does it start from gay? Because, like like homosexual sounds like a scientist made that up.
Exactly. That's the Latin term for it, you know. How did the word gay? Because gay used to be like,
dude like Sinatra was saying it and something tells me he wasn't really, you know, an ally.
So I imagine that someone just like took it and just be like oh overly happy. That's the gay people
Oh cuz gays are happy. I mean they were pretty not happy
They were probably not very happy when they were being pelted with insults
Look at how happy they are that I'm pointing at them and trying to kill them
What the fuck this says the word gay originated in the 12th century from the old French word gay, which meant full of joy or mirth.
Mirth?
Mirth? What is mirth?
I don't know, I'm assuming like-
What the hell is mirth?
Is mirth the way to say happy?
Google mirth.
Mirth. We're in a deep rabbit hole now.
This rabbit hole, you could find the fucking cup of tea on the table in this one.
Alice in Wonderland.
Okay. Mirth. Amusement, especially as expressed in laughter.
His six-foot frame shook with Murth.
Hold on.
What?
So you're telling me we took words that describe just absolute happiness and joy and used them
as slurs for fucking people that were just sucking and fucking?
No, that wasn't the slur
But gay gay isn't as well. I was used they were using it as like no back then
They're saying the original word of gay meant like that's what it meant it meant full of joy
Yeah, so you're so they were calling a group of people that they know bro the word gay
Listen to me. You're not listening. I am listening, but it's my turn to listen,
to you to listen to me.
Okay.
I understand that gay meant mirth.
Full of mirth.
Full of mirth, which everything that you've read
about the word gay sounds happy, joyful, laughing a ton.
Mirth.
And now they're using that.
Right. Joyful laughing a ton birth and now they're using that right people use that yeah as like a slur to
homosexuals yeah, you're so happy you're so happy and full of joy and laughter here
You have so much mirth. Yeah, Jesus Christ. What's wrong with this world?
I've never heard the word mirth before never have not once look up look up where lesbians come from like the word
When do they get here we know we know where they come from where do they come from Frank farms
Farms yeah, when you think of lesbians you think of farms. Yeah, I don't
Water back well
How did the word lesbian come about
Hmm the word lesbian comes from the Greek island of
Lesbos
I've heard of this. Oh my god, dude. I thought you guessed that no No, you would have had me going sounds familiar now that you said that less boss
And it was like a mythological island of women and stuff like that, right?
It's basically where like the idea of Wonder Woman came from
So much lesbian research done
No, it was yeah, it was called like Lesbos. And it was like a mythical island
of like warrior women. Now that I now that you've said that it like now I remember it.
Wow, interesting. Yeah. You by the way, you ever hear about where like the origins of
Wonder Woman? The character? Guess. Well, it's actually, it was made into a movie.
It was called like Doctor Something and the Wonder Woman or something like that.
But am I going to care about this?
Do you know?
I mean, it's interesting.
Okay.
She was made to be like a symbol of like BDSM and like, yeah, like submissiveness, the whip.
Yeah.
It's a rope.
It's not lasso. Excuse me. Lasso. The lasissiveness, the whip, yeah. It's a rope, it's not a rope. Lasso, excuse me, lasso, it's the lasso of truth.
Yeah, whip, take it easy.
Yeah, sorry.
The paddle.
No, but like, it's like Dr. Martin
and the Wonder Women or something like that.
He made them to be like,
this is a powerful submissive woman.
And people were like- Is she submissive
if she's got the lasso and stuff?
Well, no, it was re, they took it back
and they were just like, oh yeah, bitch.
Oh. We're from Lethbos. Well, now it was, it was re they took it back and they were just like, oh yeah, bitch. Oh.
We're from Lethbos.
Yeah, yeah.
That's funny.
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Oh, okay.
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Yeah, exactly.
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And Frank, what? Why are you shaking your head?
There are a few moments in history
that really rob you of what you feel
is the validation you deserve.
This better be good.
Whatever you're setting up better be good.
We didn't get named the sexiest podcast host of 2024, Joey.
What?
We didn't get named the sexiest podcast host of 2024.
Oh yeah that was two weeks ago that that happened and it came out I was pretty devastated too.
First of all I don't think we were even on the list. Act? What am I doing? Act with me? No.
The directors might be watching. They might be watching. Okay. Let's use a real voice though because
we're doing a podcast and stop whispering so because I can barely hear you. What do
we need to do to be sexier? Be quieter? I don't know. Fucking... Jason Kelsey and Travis
Kelsey they were named the podcast, the sexiest podcast of 2024, hosts of 2024. We didn't get runner up. We didn't get, not only did we of 2024 hosts of 2024 we didn't get runner-up
We didn't get not only did we not get ready and get bronze we weren't even on the podium, babe
We I don't think we were in the voting number two was or or they beat out a pen Badgley
Who's that?
you
What you?
You What you You Know what is Penn Badgley you kidding me. Who is that you? Yes? What do you do not watch Frank now?
You're fucking no. I'm not do you not what you?
Please tell me I was in a show called
About the killer guy.
Yeah!
Oh, you did the who's on first thing to me.
No, I did not.
Yeah, you got me.
You could have said it was a show.
You could just admit to the fact that you were fucking too stupid to have picked up what I was putting down.
No, I didn't.
You had a bread basket of knowledge put in front of you, and you're a dumb gluten-free idiot.
You didn't pick it up.
Shut up.
Who's third?
Josh Peck
bro listen what listen listen and then the other one I saw the name of the
other they not see Frank shirt you're not gonna put this guy in a list Josh
Peck that was my Josh Peck impression that one more time Josh Peck impression. That? One more time.
Josh Peck! Frank, that's no one.
That's not an impression.
And the other one that was on was TJ Holmes.
He's a good looking guy.
Who the fuck is that?
I gotta admit, he's a pretty good looking dude.
That makes sense, that one.
He's got a man's jaw, you know what I mean?
He's got everything about him
and he's got like a little salt and pepper
Like I know you're so horny for that well. I'm not horny for any man. You're very honest
I'm saying you're horny for men. I am not full of mirth. Yeah, you're fear worthy
No, I'm not you are I'm girthy not Murphy. Okay. Whoa barely okay?
Okay, whoa barely, okay
But like listen yeah, I'm not calling Josh Peck or
Penn Badgley or definitely not that guy ugly right we just want to bid I just I think this
imagine audience close your eyes
Imagine draft Travis and Jay's and Kelsey.
You're gonna say imagine dragons.
Imagine dragons.
Radioactive.
Lightning and a dunder.
Yeah, yeah.
Dunder, dunder, dunder.
Yeah.
Lightning and a dunder.
I can't tell if I love or hate that band.
I don't know what they are.
Are they a band? Are they DJs? Are they people? I don't know are they it's an interesting genre
Have you ever seen imagine dragons and like you could say like that's them
I've seen that I've seen videos of the lead singer
Can you point them out in a crowd no I can't point anybody out in a crowd basically point Selena Gomez out in a crowd
Yes, I can can you point Tyler the Creator out in a crowd probably exactly you can't point out imagine dragons okay they're like like
no one really knows what they it's how many are there who's the one not how
many dragons are there remember I think there's like five dragons really I
think so they play instruments yeah no they play instruments they do so they're
a band of dragon oh there are yes they're a band of dragon. No, they're yes. They're a band of dragons
I don't know about but it's kind of like not that it's like this but you remember like
What's the name of that band?
Gorillas where those like all the gorillas their cartoons
Keep love that fucking that's a good song
That's all I know.
We got his every tongue, we don't know
back. And he's just like, he looks like
every emo kid, like the cartoon
is like a cartoon drawing. Yeah, it's all cartoons.
The kids that spent way too much time at Hot Topic
and like, grew up and had a nightmare
on Elm Street. No, nightmare before Christmas
tattoo. Mmm, I was almost
you. Uh, but, why was I even, oh, what were you saying?
Imagine Dragons.
Not Imagine Dragons.
Who, remember-
You said close your eyes, imagine to people.
Are Imagine Dragons fun?
Fun?
Yeah.
What does that mean? Are they fun?
Are they fun? Like, are they the same?
What the fuck does that even mean?
You gotta be kidding me, it's gotta be another bit of yours.
Are they fun?
Are they fun? Like are they the same?
Or are they different?
Who? Frankie.
Imagine dragons and fun.
Oh, okay, now I see what you're...
Why are you trying to set me up again?
I'm not trying to set you up!
Frank, you know that I would get confused with that!
I forget that there's a fucking band named Fun!
Oh, oh, oop, forgive me
fucking-
You're a music mogul! You're sitting there and you have all the fucking people-
Oh, don't you dare, bitch!
You said, are Imagine Dragons Fun?
Are they the same?
If I said, is Bruce Springsteen Billy Joel?
You would get that right immediately!
Frank, you know that fun is an adjective.
You know that. Frank you know that fun is an adjective
You know I do know that I forgive me for thinking and know they're vastly different very very
High standard for your intellect that you are clearly just trying to fucking chip away that you do
I'm just saying are they not the same?
No, absolutely not. Are you sure Frank, they don't even sound similar in the slightest.
Well one is just a little more like, you know, like I'm going to sing on like a Call of Duty
game and one is like I'm going to sing on like a, you know, Just Dance game.
I base most musicians off of where their music comes from.
Video games, clearly.
Video games.
They're completely different, not even close genres.
Are you sure? Yep
Okay, haven't heard it have fun song in a while, but they were great. Well, we know that their big one was tonight
We are young that's a banger. What's the moment was like?
I was doing coke in the bathroom and the Empire State buildings outside or something like that
My friend my friend what was it it was like doing cocaine
No, what?
No, my my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State
What did I say my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State my love and she's waiting for me
Just across the bar. I think that's the we are young song
Yeah, I think so. I think so.
Did I ever tell you I saw my dad cry listening to that song?
What?
Your Colombian dad, who I've only heard listen to Colombian radio, heard a fun song and
cried?
At which part of the song?
It was Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve.
Tonight we are young.
It was Christmas Eve and my dad was driving us.
My brothers my sister and I to I can't make fun of him too much for this, but I will because it's just like the weird
parts of being a parent but we he was driving us to his brother's house
for Christmas Eve,
because we would spend Christmas Eve with my dad,
and it was on, and he was driving in the Denali,
windows down, December 24th.
I get that from my dad.
No matter the weather outside, I like the windows down.
But, and we were all in the car, myself, my brother, my sister, and the song was on, and
he was driving us, and we're listening to the song, probably singing along to it, and
I look over at my dad and he's crying.
Oh, because he's like, my kids are young?
My kids are here and they're singing.
That's amazing.
Crazy, right?
Wow.
But yeah, what is the other fun song?
I don't know, but you told a lot of details just to say your dad cried to a song.
You told us the windows were down. What the fuck does that have to do with the story?
It was Christmas Eve.
Most, I'll be honest, most of my memories in the car with my dad, the windows are down.
I remember- When I found out that my middle school
principal got hit by a bus, we were listening to How We Do by The Game and 50 Cent, Windows Down.
Good song, bad principal, by the way and 50 cent windows down good song bad principal
By the way that principal great song great, you know
That was supposed to be so bad yeah, I know I like I got it
Was what was his he kind of looked like a like a not a loo-hoo a who who whoville
No, no, no fucking oh the principal yeah
He did he was a little yeah, he had like a slick back. He's slick back here, and he had voice. I remember that
Yeah, yeah, squirrely voice squirrely voice
I think he got in trouble for embezzlement, and he got hit by a bus and people cheered
Yeah, I do remember people cheering people cheered
I remember he yelled at me one time because I went to go like pick you guys up from school,
not pick you guys up, but like meet up you guys after school.
And he was like yelling at me.
I was like, I don't even go here.
Yeah.
Oh, whatever.
But, um, so what I was getting to before we got into imagine dragons and fun, close your
eyes audience.
Oh, their eyes are still closed.
Open them. We've been talking the whole time. Close them again. No Oh, their eyes are still closed. Open them. We've been talking the whole time close them again
No one close their eyes
It's fine
Imagine Travis Kelsey. Mm-hmm and Jason Kelsey, right?
without having ever played sports at a very competitive level right and
with a couple few dollars
That's us baby a couple less dollars less. Yeah, you were dollars few dollars. That's us, baby.
A couple less dollars.
Less, yeah, yeah.
A couple fewer dollars.
Yeah.
That's us.
A big fat couple.
I'm a big burly dad.
So you're Jason.
I'm Jason.
I am, we are.
And I'm Travis.
You're Travis.
Dude, you look like him when you smile.
I'm serious.
No, no, no.
When you do like your actual smile. That smile that like people could see the resemblance and if I just had a long beard
right
And you were like a hundred pounds heavier of solid muscle
Not a hundred pounds careful. Okay, cuz you said solid muscle and you didn't know he's like a fucking he's yoked
it's funny that I said that because
I just got a just got a cramp from just shrugging yeah no I mean that's not bad I mean you're
probably closer to Jason Kelsey than I am to Travis Kelsey no I think Frank I would
need to grow a whole foot okay let's start with that correct he's only 6'2 so you are
right how tall is he no he's like 6'6 I think. He's gotta be a big guy.
Yeah he probably I think he's like 6'6 and like 260. Travis, Travis Kelsey's not 260 dude. He's
6'5 so he's got inches on me. He's got a whole foot on you that's crazy. Shut up. You said it. Let's go Travis Kelsey weight Holy shit, he's 250 pounds told you
Big guy. Yeah
We are the poor man's new heights. We are the old depth poor poor men
We are all men of them. We should just call our show old heights old depths. No old shorts
Depth old weights height weight The opposite of heights are depths. Valleys. Peaks. What
are you not getting there? I'm trying out other words. Old depths is a great word. I
don't like the word depths. Why? I'm also you're mispronouncing it somehow. Well you
want it to be mirth? That's a great word. That is a pretty good word. Pretty mirth.
I'm just saying like I understand we might not be their level of sexy well they get it this year I
just want to be on the ballot for 20 just like a write-in like you know how
like like people jokingly voted right yeah like Harambe got like 6% of votes
in Ohio like yeah just we just want to see People magazine who are our friends
at this point in time we have established a relationship with true. We have established. I don't need to be called sexy make it just like people's
guys
Bro, two guys two guys podcast like yeah who won the most two guys who won the most like we're just guys
We're just guys and and and it doesn't need to be like it doesn't need to say like the most or anything it just needs to be this yeah
It's just be like picture you can see most these guys the most that could be the name of the award
It's like these guys. Yes, you know most these guys of podcasts
We're the most like these guys well not even just the most like these guys
But the most like those guys right the most like see that's what we are I think we are you
know like when people are like oh do you feel famous or whatever I'm like I'm not
I just feel like people go that guy no guy you know what I mean
you're y'all I got Travis Kelsey it's like that guy oh it's like oh those guys
right that guy those guys oh you're that guy that guy. That's what I feel like exactly
I don't feel famous and I define what we are experiencing is fame, right?
I experience it as just like oh you those guys
Yeah, because anytime someone recognizes me and they just go like you're that guy and yeah, that's what we're experiencing
Yeah, so people magazine
Make it make it we'd like to win an award.
For something.
I don't even care what it is!
It doesn't even need to be a physical award.
I doubt anyone's giving a physical award to Jason and Travis Kelty for being sexy.
I'll stop you there. I'd love a physical award.
Oh, okay. You can have it.
I have a physical award to determine how sexy I am, and that is my wife.
Now I recant that Wow not an object
Oh my god. There it is. Oh my god. She makes me feel sexy. Here we go
He said she's a there's that she's probably an award bitch
She is a she is an absolute award that I consider every single day of my life
You're trying to save it, but you called her an object
Wow
Get him. Uh...
Me? Why me? There's other people to get right now.
Merth.
Get them. Get other people. There's some other people that might need getting goted.
We're feeling Merth-y today.
I think. Can I say that?
That's honestly...
I don't know how to use it.
That sounds a little mean too.
How to get... how to use Merth.
Cheeriness.
I am full of mirth
So it's like usage of the word mirth in the 1800s
had a moment yeah
steady decline up until
1950 but then it starts moving up are we bringing mirth back? Well, I don't
What do you touch?
That's weird.
What?
It's like so, but look you see how it's like there's a dip in 1980.
No one's mirthing.
Well everyone was on coke and they wore, they for some reason wore suits and rolled up the
sleeves.
But mirth is on the rise dude.
We can do it.
We have brought back, Joey look at me, seriously. Look at me. We can do it. We have brought back, Joey look at me, seriously.
Look at me.
We can do it.
Look at me.
With our show, with our words, we have brought back crap.
I don't know about crap.
Liborius.
That came and went.
We can do it.
It had a moment though.
We brought Red Lobster straight out of bankruptcy and don't get don't get me wrong
I see you guys tagging us and trying to use our juju to bring TGI Fridays out of bankruptcy TGI Fridays
You need to earn it earn it
Earn our earn it and we'll get we'll pull you out just like we did red lobster and just like we're doing with mirth
I I'm trying to look up
Red Lobster and just like we're doing with mirth I
I'm trying to look up laborious like the usage of that one and get this chart because if there was a fucking like a
Then I then it that would be great. I'm just saying listen. I know people are gonna say you know I went to school
I understand the use of statistics. I took
a
Quantitative analysis of statistics in criminal justice. This is all stuff that I did study and got a degree in
I just want to say yes
Causation does not necessarily mean causation
but
In this situation we're going to
We have revived some different stuff. Um
There's a tick give me a tick
Show me a tick. It only goes up to 2019. So that was those. What did you think? We started using it after that?
Yeah way after that honestly, but oh wait, hold on 1800s to let me get let me get to 2023
That's oh 2022
There's a very steady decline from the year 2010 to 2019.
So, but there's no more data.
But I will say that-
Data, data, data, do you data?
Yes, yes, yes.
What's data?
Data and data, data and data.
But when do you use the one and the other?
Data, data is like computer, oh no, that's data.
Data is number, data is computers.
Technology is data, numbers is data. Data, wait, that's data data's number data is computers technologies data numbers is data
Data wait, which one's data don't care. Why are we focusing on this data? All I'm saying is
the numbers could
They're promising we have brought back laborious crap
Red lobster our words have power. Okay, right, you know they say our words
our Lobster our words have power. Okay, right, you know they say our words our
Our words good pronounce have power. Good, pronounce. Have power.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
What do they say?
The pen is mightier than the sword,
but the tongue can lick them both.
Our tongue has revived.
Did you make that up?
No, baby.
Revived laborious.
It has revived crap.
Red lobster.
TGI Fridays
You have a chance to do something really cool and maybe we'll get on board and help you out here TGI Friday
Yeah, they just filed for bankruptcy. They're looking got it. Now people are tagging us like you guys know what to do
We need your help here. I've never even been inside one. Okay, I have and
I've had some good times in TGI Fridays. So
Has anyone ever like can you look a sword by the way can you
yes absolutely you can look a sword I'm looking and ask how you know that but
think of think of a sigh you know what a sigh is a mini like the mini swords that
like a Raphael has because he holds them like oh those things yeah they have like
the you know like yeah those are called called sighs. They're just mini swords
You've never seen like someone like it up
No, I've never seen them in person either. You've not played enough Mortal Kombat, babe. You're right. Yeah
Because you know who uses sighs in Mortal Kombat
Melina Carmen Electra no well yeah well she's Electra you know well no wait a sec Carmen Electra is the
act the model Electra is the act the model
Electra yeah played
Did common election play her no you play like a miss garner feels like a missed opportunity it was but also probably not right
But she has sighs correct. You know and she punches sandbags
Mm-hmm she had sandbags, but then also Molina for Mortal Kombat who is the failed clone between... Too far, too far, too far
Too much, we're gonna be here all day, we're gonna fucking listen He doesn't want me to get into the Tarkatan army, but we're not gonna do that today. The Tarkata?
Tarkat? Tarkat? Well, it depends if we're going pre Mortal Kombat 1
Ooh, ooh, ooh, and we gotta go, We ran out of time. We ran out of time.
Frank, where can they find you?
Okay, FAlver's at 85 on Twitter.
These Frank Alvarez on all the forms of social media, Instagram, TikTok,
bingo, bango. Check it out.
And then check out Patreon, patreon.com slash The Basin of an Art.
We love that you folks have been helping us grow on there and we want to keep growing so tell your friends the holidays are
Coming up if you want to gift a patreon subscription. That's a great idea. Go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard
Yep, you guys can go follow me at
Joe Sanagato go follow the show at the base me aren't on tik-tok and Instagram and that is all
See you guys next time so pre-mortal combat one the Tarkatans were an actual race. I'm ending I'm stopping it. Okay.