The Basement Yard - #481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Episode Date: December 16, 2024I'm just not gonna sleep anymore! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the base-
Welcome back to the basement yard.
Welcome back to the basement yard.
Welcome back to the basement yard.
Welcome back to the basement yard.
It is I, Frank Alvarez.
Thanks for joining me on this adventure of laughs,
love, and maybe a little bit of
self reflection.
Can I guess your favorite color?
Red. Red is what I was going to say.
Yeah, bitch, well guess what?
It's purple, I know, relax. Guess what, bitch? It's Frank Alvarez. Here I am joined today by Monochrome Mikey.
Sorry, One Tone Terry.
Oh, you wrote down a bunch of jokes?
Bland Brian. That's you today too, bitch.
Or Carl the Cream Looking Cuck. That's you, bitch, your cream head to toe.
What the fuck is wrong? Stand stand up show him the whole outfit
Show him the whole outfit show him okay show them. I will but no no no no before okay
Yeah, look at this nice sweater the exact same look and then show him the shoes show the shoes look at you
You'd be invisible in a blizzard you fucking loser Frank. Use flair at some pop pizzazz oh how
about my Bucky's football shirt hell
yeah
jersey don't you dare disrespect
jerseys yeah I said football shirt did
say football shirt because Frank you're
wearing one color too I'm not bitch I'm
wearing several colors three oh four
five this is the day you choose to say a joke about me and I look good sorry do Real colors! Three! Oh, four! Five!
This is the day you choose to say a joke about me.
And I look good.
Sorry.
You do look good!
I apologize.
This is- you know what this is?
Yeah.
This is me defending the fact that you can just sit there and wear one color.
You can walk straight out of the pink tile at fucking Lowe's and you can look passable!
Oh.
And what do you look like?
I look great.
I look like the everyman.
I look like someone that people look at and they're like, that's a bro that I'd like to have a beer with. You know what you look like I look great I look like the everyman I look like someone that people look at they're like that's a bro that I'd like to have a beer
With you know what you look like you look like you came straight out of a fucking eyes wide shut party where people are fucking each
Other with giant dildos on their noses. I don't know have you seen the movie. Yeah, I don't think you have
Time since I've seen that. Yeah.
Well, you know, are you wearing a watch at least
that adds a little color?
That's not.
Ah, I'm not.
No.
I said it's not.
It's not.
So you're just committing to cream today.
The cream commitment from Joey.
Yeah.
He's committing to cream all over his body.
And you're committing to red.
And black and white.
Red, black and white.
A classic combination.
White, cream and beige. You're gonna tell me red and black isn white a classic combination white cream and beige
You're gonna tell me red and black isn't a great color combination in eighth grade
I used to think it was the coolest thing like oh, it's so cool
What was your like do you remember on aim how you could make it so like anytime you typed it was like
The font color and then it was highlighted in a different color. Do you remember what you're my gosh?
You remember what yours was green and black I think oh
Okay, you're gonna hate mine. It Oh, okay. You're gonna hate mine.
It's like alien-ish.
You're gonna hate mine.
Sure I will.
It was lime green and red.
Lime green and red?
Why, because you love the watermelon?
Because I was different, brother.
Because I was being so different, down to my font.
You know?
That's just the way it was. it's just the way it was that's
just the way it is good link good link good link things will never be the same
that's a great song man I see no changes wake up in a moment and I ask myself is
life worth living should I blast myself well there we go demonetization
immediately but you say blast yourself I don't think that you get in trouble
Yeah, unaliving is good blasting is good even better. I would say finger blasting. I think might get you demonetized
Also a wild way to describe what you're doing say blast is having the comeback year that like crap had last year
Finger blast blast me in the face, you know
You act like people are like saying that I have seen more me in the face. You know what I'm talking about? You act like people are saying that in abundance.
I think I have seen more blasting in the last year
than I have in the previous 31 of my life.
I don't think.
Not like, I mean like on, I should probably,
I mean in text or verbiage, not like in actual action.
I was just gonna say something so weird.
Go ahead.
I don't know if I should say it now.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Well now you should. It's gonna sound weird, but you know what I mean.
Don't don't please don't throw me in a hole here. Listen, we're in this hole together if you're going down.
I was gonna say that I feel like the younger generation doesn't talk about
Yeah
Listen I have no choice. You know how that was such a big deal for us when we were younger. I know I
You know what we're in this together.
We go down with the ship together, baby.
Hop on, babe.
Here we go, the SS Titanic that Berg just hit
and we're swimming right now.
Yeah.
That was the thing back in the day.
It was, yeah.
I can't confirm nor deny.
Actually, I'll go as far as,
I don't know how many people are talking about it now.
Yeah, me neither.
I don't have an ear to the ground.
I'm just not tapped in.
I'm not tapped into the finger blasting community.
I don't have the finger blasting statistics in front of me.
Where do you think that term came from?
The blasting?
Yeah.
Do you think someone was doing it
and they were just like pew pew?
No, I don't think that.
Not everything is Star Wars, Frank.
It's time to grow up.
Take the jersey off.
Uh.
I can't believe it.
You had the audacity to walk in here like the fucking poster boy for Williams and Sonoma
and you're going to make fun of me for my incredibly cool.
It's a cool company.
Incredibly cool jersey.
I like the jersey.
Yeah.
What if we got a sponsorship by Buc-E's?
What if we are the first podcast they sponsor?
It wouldn't be us.
First of all, get Greg on the motherfucking horn.
Yeah, Greg.
Cause that would be awesome.
Greg, if you have ever done work here, now is the time.
Yeah.
Now is the time.
Get on the horn and make something happen.
Show me your value.
Family-owned business, they might find...
Maybe they like us.
They might find us appealing when they find out
that we went to four Buc-E's in a matter of 24 hours.
That's a disgusting amount.
We spent collectively probably $2,000 at a Buc-E's.
Yeah, we paid for a car payment over there or something.
We paid for one of their very well-paid employees
to have
lunch or something like that hundred percent because that's another thing if
you guys have been to a Bucky's look at that sign that tells you what they get
paid good for them yeah they make bank good for them and and I'll tell you
someone that worked in retail they deserve every fucking penny of it
because that is a hellhole of an industry yeah it is and especially
around this time of the year did you ever work a lot? I mean did you ever work in retail to the point where you had to like fold clothes?
Yeah, so really so
Just to give you I can't speak for what the breakdown and like the fucking structural shit is good
Because if you were gonna go through your resume, I was gonna walk out of here
No, no, no, no, but the way that target was organized when I was there is there was a, like the store manager,
and then there was like the assistant managers,
but the store manager was called like the store team lead,
and then the people that were in my position
were the executive team leaders.
So like it was just kind of like, you know,
and we were, we had our like work, you know,
like center, like what we were doing. Mine my was asset protection other was like guest experience sales floor
But you still had to fold but you kind of just had to do whatever the job required
So there were days where I spent 10 hours without exaggeration just folding t-shirts
And it was are you good at it? I'm a pretty good t-shirt folder. I don't mean I get yo I don't know how I still to this day. I'm not good at folding long-sleeve t-shirts. And it was- Are you good at it? I'm a pretty good t-shirt folder.
I don't mean to-
I'm not good.
I don't know how, still to this day,
I'm not good at folding long sleeve t-shirts.
Long sleeves suck, but you have to fold the sleeves
and then fold them up on themselves like a full Nelson.
Yeah, I just, I don't do that.
Yeah.
You want to know how I fold them?
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
So I take how you would fold a t-shirt.
Here, no, just go, just go. It doesn't matter. Uh, here we go, here we go, here we go. So I take how you would fold a t-shirt. Here. Uh, no, just go, just go.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, here!
Um, I just like, so this is a t-
This is the thing with the long sleeves.
I just fold the t-shirt in half.
So now it's like-
And you fold the sleeve like in itself.
And then I just-
That's fine, that's not bad.
Oh, that's cool.
I think so.
I'm not, I mean, I am not the folding police.
That's true.
So-
I mean, you're usually the police for everything around here.
Well...
Brazil and I meet for everything.
Someone needs to be. This is a lawless organization where people just run amok and make people get Brazilian waxes.
Okay, that was ten years ago!
Two, but who's counting?
Someone is.
My bonge is counting, I'll tell you that.
I bet you wish it was more slick than it is now.
I will bet you any amount of money that I'll never do that again in my entire life.
I mean...
But, uh, yeah, I think that's'll never do that again in my entire life. I mean, but
Yeah, I think that's that's a fine way to do it But like the way that I was taught was like you hold it up you fold the sides in
Mmm, and then you like do a little flip on the bottom and then a flip over the top
Got it. And then you know, of course when I was there our store then decided to get like the like table
Oh, yeah, cut cut cut cut. I wish brother. That's cool. I might get one of those at home. Fuck it
I've gone down deep rabbit holes of watching Asian women fold clothes before what there's those tick tocks where it's just like
Grab this grab this grab this folded and I'm just like you're a wizard
I'm literally watching that and I'm like yo, this is so crazy
That's the closest we'll get to Hogwarts is being able to fold shirts like that, but it's like yeah
Oh, hi, and I can't I can't understand it
It's it's like you know like contortionists and shit like that like they it's like they're like oh
Yeah, and I'm like how the fuck doesn't make sense and I'll be honest. I'm a little pissed off about it
But you know
What do you ever watch on Netflix?
There's that woman who like comes into your house and like organizes the shit
I've never watched it, but if I hear one more thing about it was the Asian woman right yeah
We're on to you. Okay organization and folding and math and math yeah
and and tech
Innovation yeah, but math and math yeah um oh and and tech innovation yeah but I'm just saying like squid everyone there was a like an eight okay there was like an eight month
period where all I heard about was that shit yeah and it was just like fucking
enough I like people were just like walk into a closet, touch a shirt. If you don't feel anything, throw it out.
And it was like, Oh, it was like energy. Yeah. It was like, Oh, I didn't see that.
Oh yeah. That was a big one. No, that was a big one. I feel nothing when I hold
every piece of clothing because it's cool. It's clothing. Exactly. I'm not
like, mom, but see, I am the opposite end where I'll, I'll see it and I'll be
like, I wore this the first day of ninth grade
And I remember that was the day that Paulette said that she might have a crush on me. Yeah, and you know you uh
Would be that woman's worst nightmare. I would yeah, I would be like, you know, like those could you Frank? Oh my god
Do you think if we sent someone into your house to throw out like
10% of your stuff that you would make it out alive
No, I would be like you ever see that little like that little like southern fat kid that was like piss that the woman came in
To get rid of all like the bacon in his house. Yeah show where he's just like
Yeah, I would be I would be very upset And it wouldn't make for a good video because
Oh it would.
It would not.
Oh my god dude that would be so funny.
But see now, you're like in hoarders
Stop that! Stop that bitch!
No you're not as bad as them obviously.
There was a woman though that I saw who was hoarding
shit
feces
feces I think that's the multiple of feces one is a feces several is feces feces feci yeah yeah not to be confused with
fetuses there was none of those there no one's having sex with the woman who's
hoarding shit in her house human shit you would be surprised I would be shocked
but she had all this shit and then the guys like yo we gotta and she's
like stop yeah that's a that's an obvious mental health issue I mine is
not tied to any confirmed cases of mental health but I just I feel like I
feel like a deep sense of connection to things that I have because I have a very
vivid memory I'll be honest with you.
Recently, I've gone through and gotten rid
of a lot of stuff because.
Not because of me.
I have just, no.
Thank God.
Nothing I do is because of you.
Okay.
I've just like put myself in a position
where I am like my, I forget some of the stuff
where like I like recently remembered a story
and it was like, I almost forgot that forever.
We've been watching a lot of Inside Out
and it's been fucking me up mentally.
You haven't watched it.
You don't.
I've seen that scene and I like,
The Bing Bong, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, don't.
We're talking to the character,
not the obvious relation to a flaccid thing
that we have spoken about before.
Oh, oh.
Pretty sure on our show we've called.
I don't think anyone was making that connection.
I'm pretty sure on our show, we've called a penis a bing-bong before we've called it everything yeah well
but I
Have gotten I've been getting better at it, okay?
I also live with someone who's the polar opposite who will just must have throw everything out not everything but like
She's pretty good at getting rid of things like like getting rid of stuff
I I don't you like new stuff
I do like new stuff
But you know it's even better than new stuff new stuff on top of you already having this also cool stuff, you know
old stuff yeah
Well, you say old I say storied. That's the way that I story
That's the way I approach it. That's a cute way of well seasoned Right. You know think of well when you're talking about underwear
And then you're saying seasoned. It's disgusting because I have a better connection to the earth and
You know just a sense of spirituality than technically because you're not littering because you're not throwing out your old underwear
I think like I have 25 year old underwear. You know that no I have
20 year old underwear okay You know that no, I have 20-year-old underwear. Okay, not
25 shout out to whoever made that by the way holding up like holding up for no
No, it is not it is tattered your body you wearing. No, no, no, no, no, it is in storage
You don't wear it. Yeah, of course, is it framed it is it is in storage at the moment
It is tattered. It has gotten to a point where the elastic is like if I pull it it will turn into dust. Yeah, so um,
You know that's insane dude. Well, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do throw it out speaking of insane? Okay, I
God, thank god. I remember to show you this there was a guy that tweeted at us. I am
firmly assuming gender here, uh, but
Luke schultz Shout out to our friend on twitter ex. I am firmly assuming gender here. But Luke Schultz, shout out to our friend
on Twitter, X, I don't care. But he's like, all right, we talked about AI recently. And
he's like, yo, I was fucking around with AI one day and I asked them to make a script
and audio for you guys, for your show. And it-
Oh, like an AI version of our show?
An AI version of our show.
It is like 90 seconds long, so it is not long at all.
But it is, and I listened to it.
Joey has not seen it yet.
Please.
I texted him saying, don't check your Twitter mentions.
And he said, I don't anyways.
So I need to play this for you.
90 seconds, it's us. It is a fucking world
doesn't sound like us. Honestly, kind of that's freaky but like you can hear it and you hear
like something is off. Okay, like the you know, it's just weird. So this is not this
is like our actual intro. Welcome back to the basement yard, the podcast where we sit in a basement and talk about
everything and nothing at the same time.
Today I'm joined by my co-host, Frankie.
What's up, Joe?
What the hell are you doing?
What do you mean?
You look like you just escaped from a mental institution.
And hey.
So that's us.
That's opening.
Already accurate.
Oh, very accurate.
What are you doing?
Just fighting off the bat.
You're immediately offending me and like it's scary
It sounds like I love that. It's AI saying like this is a show about us in a basement
I probably wrote that I'm like a bio some that was probably the very first episode where it's just like a show where we like
Just like basement chats
Which could be like very strange, but yeah, so you immediately start off making fun of me, right?
Which is what you did today? Uh, yeah, we will we exchange blows. We exchange we exchange
We're blowing each other blowing each other so you one day you're blowing at me I'm blowing you
It's a good old blow fest
Sometimes we blow at each other at the same time and he gets caught in the middle and we get there's yeah
There's like that like like thing in the middle where like Voldemort and Harry Potter are squared off
We're just exchanging blows and it's just like melting in between us comic book Frank taking it to the next level here
We go comic book bitch What do you mean? You look like you just escaped from a mental institution. Hey, that's not a nice thing to say I'm sorry, but it's true. You know what joe?
Our fathers don't love us
Hey, man, that's not nice, you know what our fathers
I mean the the immediate pivot I think maybe ai if I'm putting myself in the brain of this wildly
Intellectual algorithm artificial intelligence. I think I think
I'm doing three fingers for thinking I'm doing three fingers for thinking. Okay, I think that it is
connecting our ability
to blow each other, go back and forth,
with our lack of love from our fathers.
Maybe it's just drawing the,
maybe that we're so defensive
and like to make fun of each other
because we saw love as being made fun of from our fathers.
Which is not accurate, if we're being honest.
Our fathers love us.
Our fathers love.
We just like to make that joke.
It took a while, yeah.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah, so like maybe it's connecting those two things.
And it's just saying like, you know, maybe, I don't know.
Maybe they're.
I don't know how, that was a wild segue, I will say that.
Okay.
Not that we're good at segues, but like that was pretty bad.
We're not good at segues, AI is not, definitely not good. It's capturing how bad we are at segues. Maybe that that was pretty we're not good at segues AI is not definitely not it's capturing
How bad we are in segues? Maybe that's what it is
That first of all was the best
Greatest place on the planet love a story. Hey, I correct yourself. Yeah, I'm not gonna say bitch because I don't want them
We don't know we don't know yet. Yeah, we've seen I robot. We've seen
And Terminator yeah, and maybe we just oh wow didn't even think about Terminator. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you should probably
That's like physical intelligence. That's like it's not order. it starts in one place. I've gotten to move to the other
You know I mean what what you know, what's the difference but?
We did grow up with parents and had very strong opinions on things sure
But that has just created us that have strong opinions on things mm-hmm
Right the end part of that and then it was just oh we grew up in a story up in his story
Which was like not the, not the best experience.
I had a great time.
The greatest time.
Yeah, I had a good time.
I, it's not a bad neighborhood.
I mean, I don't know what it is now
cause I haven't lived there.
I feel like it's way safer now
and then it was then it was safe then.
I mean, it was great.
It's Astoria is if we-
I actually don't know if any of that's true.
Yeah, that's why you're sitting there making like,
you know, fucking.
I'm going off a field.
You are.
And honestly, I would much prefer a world
that goes off field than actual crime statistics.
Right, well.
Yeah, that's what you did, bitch.
Okay.
So, greatest place on the planet to grow up.
We had the greatest childhood.
I will ride that until I am dead.
Ride it.
Which isn't, okay.
All right.
Yeah, Astoria was a crap hole,
but we made it out of there
and now we're living in the greatest city in the world,
New York City.
AI.
Hey bitch.
Fuck, I did it.
Don't do that.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Bitch.
Astoria is in New York City.
Crap hole. Yeah, it is. And also not a York City. Crap hole.
Yeah it is.
And also, not a crap hole.
Also, crap hole.
Maybe AI didn't want a curse for us.
Okay.
Because normally when you insult me I don't say, that's not very nice, I say go fuck yourself.
Right, you say something of that effect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Crap hole.
And now we live in the greatest city in the world, New York City.
Same place. Yeah. Yeah. One of New York City's little smaller towns. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that.
Yeah. Yeah. What's that?
Um, 9-11.
I'm just joking, man.
This AI is good!
He knows us pretty well, dude.
There's still one big fat problem.
9-11. Also, big fat problem. Nine eleven.
Also a big fat problem.
Big fat problem is that, that's a goodie.
That's a good one.
Yeah, big fat problem.
Nine eleven.
We have coined that.
We coined.
We have a coin.
We have a coin now.
We have a coin.
We are the originators of big fat problem.
Just like the Rock is the originator of SmackDown.
What a, who else made words? uh I don't know it hit on me yeah there's still one big problem one big fat problem
and why did I go uh 9-eleven?
I wasn't sure this is awesome I will say that is a big problem I would yeah I would say it's still we are we are saying still to this day feeling the effects of it
That is true
Yeah, you know so
Honestly AI is kind of not missed yet
No, no, no, go ahead. No, I was gonna say I wasn't gonna say anything interesting. You weren't gonna say anything interesting
I told you that yeah, I
Keep rewinding a little bit.
It's okay.
What's that?
Um, 9-11.
Right.
Oh, come on, Joe. That's not funny.
I'm just joking, man. The NYPD can handle it.
Yeah, they can.
What?
The NYPD can handle it?
You know, the famously thick-skinned police department in the city of New York
I'm just kidding man the NYPD can handle it. Why am I the NYPD? Yeah, what did I say just now?
That is so fucking funny because
Why like can they can they hit like then not only that but where is AI going that that's what you come up with
Yeah, like they can handle they could take the joke and I like that they have put me as the moral high ground of the show
Consistent that's what that means. Yeah, like they can take a joke. I thought it was like the NYPD can handle 9-eleven
I mean they did they I mean in addition to the FDNY,
Portable, other you know neighboring you know places and offices but
like I didn't know it was the joke that it was referring to. It was saying like I
was like oh that's not nice and you're like they can handle it. Okay yeah. I'll be honest with you.
It's mad funny. If anyone were to hear our 9-eleven jokes
I don't think the NYPD it's not like we're making jokes about 9-eleven. Mm-hmm, but like I don't think they would handle it
I'll do you one better. I know the FDNY won't because
There is one that I have made 9-eleven jokes to and he's not he's not yeah
No, I can imagine he's not pumped dude. He saw a clip where we made a 9-eleven joke and he did not
No, no, I can imagine he's not pumped about dude. He saw a clip where we made a 9-eleven joke and he did not
He was just like it's not funny
It is not funny. We know it's not but what we for just let's clear the air real quick. Yeah
We're not making jokes about it happening. We're making it work
People use it as like the soapbox to stand on like oh, yeah You think there's a there's a current war and this and these people and they're treated bad
What about 9-eleven and it's just like yes, that was bad like they use it as like a red herring
She's just like kind of draw attention away. I mean I
Don't know. I also tell my dad to like my dad. Come on
You've made worse jokes
Yeah, yeah, I've heard some jokes.
Yeah, come on.
I've heard some jokes, it's fine.
It's fine.
Yeah, I remember I was one time in,
like your dad had drove me home
and it was on the car clock, it was 9-11.
And I saw it and I did the sign of the cross.
Like that was something,
no, but that was something I legitimately did
for years afterward.
And your dad stopped the car and would not let me out to talk to me.
Like he talked to me for like 30 minutes.
About 9-11?
Just like, you know, like that's, you know, he loves it.
He's so passionate.
Your dad not only is so passionate, but he's just blown away by viewing small acts of compassion in other people
He's a very soft and compassionate guy. So when you do something like that, he's like, oh
Your dad is like the ultimate like SNL years ago did a sketch which I thought was so funny where it was like
NYPD officers like giving a speech at like their daughter's birthday and it was just like, you know, I'm rough and tough,
but like, don't get me, you know, he's that.
And he is that to a T.
The guy for lack of better, maybe even literal ways
has sandpaper thick skin.
But the minute you crack something
that makes him emotional, he's a very emotional guy.
And like, Joe, it's just, it's a wrap. He's he's a very emotional guy and like Joe, it's just it's so nice.
It like calls me and tells me that. He's so like he is so like on a human level like
amazed at compassion. Yeah. Like can you believe they yelled the door open for me? Like yeah
that's a pretty standard thing to do but like it's it's just nice. That's what I'll say. My dad on the other hand, skin
level understanding. Dad they held the door open for you. Yeah okay you know you know
just like okay. You talk to him about like building a chair though he'll light up like
a Christmas tree. Oh my god yeah the moment you talk about like lathers and like you know fucking pipe fitters the guy will cry you a river. What are those chairs
called that are like? Adirondack. Yeah Adirondack. He called me. Oh Adirondack. You put a you want to put a fridge in it?
He put a cooler in everything. A cooler in everything. Everything. I remember I was in college and he would call me
I was in college and he would call me three times a week to tell me about when he would build Adirondack chairs.
He loves them.
And what was the most annoying is that he would call them Adirondack.
And I'm like, you know that that's wrong, dad.
Adirondack.
The Adirondack chairs.
What you gotta do is I can make it for you.
I was like, dad, please stop.
When Twitter was like a popular thing, my dad would be like, twat that.
I'd be like, you know it's not called that.
Like, you know it's not called that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, remind me, I gotta tell you a funny joke
about my dad in social media.
Here we go.
Adirondack chairs, by the way, love them.
Yeah, they're okay.
I like them.
What's that?
9-Eleven.
Oh, come on, Joe, that's not funny. I'm just joking, man.
The NYPD can handle it.
Yeah, they got this.
But seriously, I've got something to share with you guys.
I've invented an everything bagel hot sauce.
That's great, Joe.
What's next?
I don't know.
Maybe you can pitch me some ideas for a new product we can invent and sell.
How about a hat that doubles as a toaster?
That's ridiculous.
What about a pair of shoes that can clean the toilet?
You're insane, Frank.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. You can pitch me some ideas for a new product we can invent and sell How about a hat that doubles as a toaster? That's ridiculous
What about a pair of shoes that can clean the toilet? You're insane
So oh so the AI is picking up on how you have bad ideas
Yeah
I have no defense there. Is there mics in here?
Yes, there are they're in front of our faces. I'm in secret mic secret little mics
They also just absolutely picked up on the fact that you're a shill for anything you make
What do you mean? You're a shill for anything you make which is like I don't know what a shill is
I know shillings. Well when you shill for, you're just like a like a just you will just put out for it basically. Like,
you know, so you're a shill for your hot sauce, which you posted
on social media, the new hot sauce didn't tell you fire. I
know. I'm not saying the flavor. Okay, don't worry. I am big
secret guy over here. Don't worry about it. Okay. You know
me BSG big secret guy. BSGG Frank as someone that has not only tried it but bought
several bottles of it very good congratulations you guys take a victory lap bitch
like I can't as soon as I started I was like I'm here and I gotta keep going and I hated it the whole time. Oh, fuck. So, yeah, so then it went into my...
Call me crazy.
Shoes that can clean a toilet don't sound like a bad idea.
That should exist.
If it doesn't already.
It's easier to get your foot in the toilet.
You don't want to get your hand into a toilet, so you just shove your toes in it.
You could just get a thing. They make scrubbers better. Yeah but even those those things are fucking
just caves of bacteria. Yeah I don't but I don't like when people have like blue
water I hate that. Oh why? Because it reminds me of like my aunt's house or
something. Gotcha. Which what happened there Joey? Nothing. give anything to tell the the room no, I just read just like I don't know
It's just like whack like I'd rather have white water like clear water
The bowl is like
You uh
Where that outfit so you got to be really careful. All right, let me finish this hood on this
Yeah, I know we cut it off.
Let's get to, let's finish this so we can get to the ad.
Frankie, I know, but that's why you love me.
Speaking of love, do you remember that time
when you tried to gaslight me into believing
that I said something very, very offensive
about African-Americans and the Jews?
Oh man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh
I'm gonna throw up
It's right it is right, but I don't think I've ever guessed that you and is saying something about about I mean
Probably I just said we cut off your hood, you white bastard! Yeah, exactly!
You fucker!
That's crazy!
That's insane!
They have picked up on what I think makes
certain things that people like seeing
What is with the inflections?
There was one point where I went, I don't know
I think that's just a weird AI thing
that they can't- There's just a weird AI thing that like they can't,
like there's just certain parts of like human speech
that you can't replicate.
I guess like, and the juice?
Yeah.
What is that?
And it's just like, hey Joe, that's nice.
Yeah, weird.
It's just, it's working the king's out.
It's like the voice version of like when AI
has like an extra finger.
You ever see those pictures?
Oh yeah.
It's gross.
Or those ones that I know you love
where it's just like the animals and like the Chernobyl sewers and stuff like
that oh do they show you another one no I saw one the other day that might haunt
you legitimately to the day you die I will close my eyes it was a giant spider
with a dog's mouth okay I think I'm hey Frank don't even attempt to show me that because I'm not gonna look
Yeah, that's it that's it. Oh we ended it with that Luke
What?
Gotta say good stuff crazy. I mean listen if more people tend to do this, please don't maybe don't but like
Maybe we'll look at them. Maybe they're good. Maybe they're funny
I mean it would be interesting to see
like what AI comes up with, but that's terrifying.
I mean, it's gonna be hard.
They just set a real clear benchmark.
That was pretty good.
So go ahead, speaking of-
We had 9-11 and gaslighting in it, I mean.
And our dad's not loving us, and divorced parents.
Those are the three pillars of-
Now I just feel like a hack. You know, cause buildings were famous- Like every episode is about those things. Buildings were famously are the three pillars of... Now I just feel like a hack.
You know, because buildings were famous.
Buildings were famously made with three pillars.
What's the fourth pillar of our episode?
Me gaslighting you into trying to convince the world
that you're a horrible person.
Fathers.
Fathers not loving us, divorced parents, 9-11.
Yeah, I guess those four things, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe there's a there's a like famously buildings were built with four
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Well, you're taking that self love self help journey
Why don't you do me a favor and go to patreon.com and take a journey with us a journey into more of us, baby
I don't mean to assimilate both things to being the same but you never know
Maybe you need some more time to smile happy all that stuff
So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard where we continue to tell you guys and thank
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You signed up today and that first year you get these weekly episodes one week in advance
and that second year you get exclusive episodes every single Friday.
So you can start and end your week with the basement yard.
You guys have continued to support us and help us grow.
And you know, I know this is something Joe has spoken about on our Patreon episodes, but we're currently in transition into a new
studio and it's because of people like you, uh, that have helped and supported us. Also,
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Thank you guys so much.
We appreciate you.
We love you.
And we're really excited for 2025.
Speaking of the new studio, I have to thank you for the carte blanche that you have given
me to really just build out the studio to be, you know, I'm going to stop you there.
One, I don't know what carte blanche means to know whatever you're saying I haven't done yes you
have you said you heart lunch you said what is that yeah what language is that
Latin come on Joey it's French look it up if you don't understand it you don't
know don't you look up carte blanche you don't know Joey I know what it means
you don't know look up carte blanche Joey Look up carte blanche, Joey. No, I know Cate Blanchette.
She is, so she is a descendant of Mr. Carte Blanche.
You must think so low of me that I would believe that.
No, I think high of you that you're gonna check that.
I'm not.
And you know, teach yourself.
But I had a conversation with Greg
and he told me that you said that I'm good
to like build out a T-section in the new studio. That never happened.
Yeah it did.
Tea section?
Yeah like a whole section of like now you will be able to enjoy quality teas in the new studio.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you going to get a really cool teapot?
I'm going to, again carte blanche, so I'm going to get everything from the bottom up.
I'm talking quality teas, good tea, you know, a nice little tea table, some cups.
You can do whatever you want.
I just don't know.
You know, I think it's going to have a really tough time getting expense.
No, no, no.
I think that's going to be tough.
Well, Greg gave me the number for the credit card.
I'll read it here if you want.
Yeah, go ahead.
Read it.
But like, I appreciate it.
I appreciate you allowing us your, as you have referred to us,
as your underlings, to really take-
I never said that.
Sorry, I mean, I can't say the exact word that you used.
Oh, here we go, okay.
But take ownership in the space
that we are using to create,
because we want to feel at home in this space.
So you're gonna bring a bunch of oolongs.
Oh, no, no, no, I'm gonna buy a bunch of oolongs.
Right.
On your dime.
Right. On our dime, because we are in this together.
Can't reach there.
Come on.
But it doesn't feel like that with what you're saying.
I think it does feel like that.
I think there have been some great ideas for the studio that you have done nothing but shoot down.
Bro, Greg has, and this is not a joke, Greg has had maybe the worst ideas
he's ever come up with when it comes to the studio.
I don't think that's true.
And both of you have ran away with this idea
where like suddenly they forgot that we have a job
and it's like, we could do this, this, and this.
I'm like, there will be no room left
if you wanna make this a fucking, Greg has pitched a basketball hoop eight different ways and one of them
Legitimately he was like he's like dude. You're probably gonna say no so like for whatever, but he's trying he was at me with the Keith
He's like you probably won't like this, but like here. Oh, man. That's the Keith move of all kids
Yeah, he's like no you probably won't like it. You're probably gonna say no. I was like, I think he's the dumbest thing you've ever heard.
I was like, Greg, I'm going to say no, but tell me.
And he's like, that room in the back there,
like if we just put down like hardwood and a basketball hoop,
I was like, I think it's a great idea.
Good, you guys could fucking do it.
So we're not putting, no, we're not doing it.
Okay.
It's a big room and they want to put a half court there. I think that hardwood
What do we need that joey as someone like you who consistently reads books about different business and setups and stuff like that
I think you have to acknowledge that the approach to business
that the approach to businesses nowadays have been more playful and they engage in, you know, feng shui that promote more of a placement for creativity.
So for instance, when I worked as an electrician for a couple of years, uh, I, uh, one of the,
one of the sites I was at was the LinkedIn headquarters.
And this is serious, in Manhattan.
I don't know if it still uses the LinkedIn headquarters,
but they had a whole room.
Hold on, hold on.
They have a whole room of like,
arcade games and like, you know,
like just like fun, fun creative spaces.
Fun, fun, yeah. Like fun creative spaces fun fun yeah like
fun startups that now they have like the ping-pong table you know there's a beer
taps well get drunk turn the day 90% of startups fail 90 90% well I don't I
don't even consider what we're doing a startup my idea is low I thought it'd be
higher I think that we are a well-seasoned story.
We are seasoned.
We are seasoned well.
And I know the-
We are seasoned well.
The step, you know, adding in people like myself, Ahmed, I've allowed the seasoning
to be just more diverse.
Seasoned.
You guys are the seasoning.
Because I think you would admit that you and Greg are more of a salt and pepper. And, and, and the addition of myself, Ahmed, we add a little more.
Speaking of the devil, he just walked by the window.
POCs.
Yes.
We add pox.
We add, that's what you've referred to was as a pox on the industry.
What does that mean?
Never heard that saying.
No.
A pox on the industry is just like the death of the industry or something like that. Is it really? Yeah, you've never heard that saying no a pox on the industry is just like the the death of the industry or something
Is it really you've never heard wait? Is that like sure for like people of color? They just called POCs
They go pox is like small pox large pox. Oh, whatever is in between monkey pox
I don't think that large pox is all pox dog pox is also is anything dolphin pox dolphin pox. No, I made that up. Oh, how many pox's are there?
Chicken, I know pocky's those are good
Love pocky's. I love pocky's love underrated. You remember you used to have those right also Asian
I remember he used to have those all the time Tiffany wins our girl
Haven't spoken her in 21 years, but what's up Tiffany? We've talked about Tiffany mad times on this show.
We have talked about Tiffany when?
I mean, we're here, we're here.
Like a lot.
Yeah.
And we just want her to know,
we haven't spoken to her in 21 years.
But she's made an impact.
She is a member of the basement yard lore
at this point in time. She is, yeah.
And she had all the pencils.
We hope she's well.
She did not share them.
We hope, first of all, hope she's alive.
Could you imagine if she's like,
Jesus.
If she has left us, that'd be heartbreaking.
Left us.
If she left us.
We wish you well.
Do you think anyone
from our fifth grade graduation class?
I can name one person with a certainty that has.
Has passed away?
Yes.
Well, yeah, our friend in fourth grade.
No, fifth grade. Who? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah our friend in fourth grade. No fifth grade who oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's sad. Yeah. Yeah, it was really sad. I don't think anyone else though
I heard I hope everyone's thriving thriving doing well
Dan getting by today. I wonder if they even realize like
Or they hate it like if they are yeah they're just like please
shut the fuck up shut these two fucking idiots up I will say this we are due
for a like return to our elementary school what the holes nobody knows us
there anymore Frank that's not true probably true actually my mom's not
there actually there's like three women in the office that probably know us really probably still there
First and last baby first. I mean I don't know first and last miss RG is there ah yeah
I think miss Watkins is still there hey
Yeah, she's awesome um I think
Miss Y is there
Were you smart smart smart not saying her name?
Dormas is there. There's the one that we said don't the name of the one that we said don't say
She came to our ready city show said hi to her. She did. She told me I look like a porn star
Strange thing to hear from your fourth grade teacher. She's like you look like a porn star
I was like that's exactly what I was going for.
I was not going for that.
I didn't know what else to say in that moment.
Listen, just to kind of revert back,
Greg is not listening to this,
but he will probably get a clip of this
or tagged in something.
Greg, I support you.
I understand that you have a thriving business acumen
that is trying to push the status quo forward
and with synergy
and understanding.
It's not how you use synergy this time.
Understanding that a happy atmosphere creates a thriving atmosphere.
Greg is just trying to do best by us.
Greg also was like, we should get a sauna.
And I was like, what a great idea.
There isn't a shower and also I'm not getting a sauna.
I mean, maybe a sauna I mean you want
me to you want me to put a couple of wipes pipes pipes oh pipes you could do
an electric so I'm not allowed legally to put a shower in there electric sauna
oh Frank I'm not worried about that you can it's the sauna would run on infrared
regardless no you could do a steam one, or you could do an electric one. That would be a steam room.
Yeah, no, there are steam powered,
hot water powered saunas, and there's electric ones.
Whatever, the point is you'd be sweating.
I love that.
And then no shower, that's my point.
I mean, sometimes Joe, in business,
you need to get a little dirty.
No, you don't have to use a sauna to go record a podcast
How many of our ideas do you think would have just gotten better if they were discussed in a sauna zero?
About that yes a lot of the things that I think about my life happened when I'm in a steam room or sauna
Okay, that's just it's a it's a breeding ground for ingenuity
Synergy we're not getting a sauna.
Okay.
That's not happening.
Okay.
There was the basketball hoop, there was air hockey table.
That's a good one too.
I do like air hockey, but like, no one's gonna use it.
I said we should get those like,
tables that it's like half a pool table,
and then it's a ping pong table,
and then it's a shuffleboard table.
Like it's just a bunch of tables.
But like, when is anyone gonna do this you never know Joey you do know though you
never know I feel like everyone who owns a pool table or any of those types of
tables they used it for like the first month that they had it and they never
touch it again speak for yourself bitch no I'm speaking from experience when did
you own a pool table I had a pool not a pool table? I had a pool. Not a pool table, Joey.
I mean, it's still.
As someone that lived in a building
that had a pool table readily accessible,
I had the time of my life.
I used it all the time.
Several times a week.
What, where'd you wear it?
My first year college residence hall.
And my second year.
And then my fifth year.
Frank, you were 18 years old.
And 19.
And you had to congregate somewhere.
I am 21, Joey. Yeah. And I would play play pool a lot did you have one of those gloves I
didn't have one of those gloves it's gonna say may have prevented you from
intermingling with the women you guys see my glove I did well for myself bitch
oh man anyway I want to talk about a dream that I had
Back dream dream Joe is back. Yeah dream Joe's back. This one wasn't a cool one. We should have a cool like
Like song way of like doing this like a segment like introducing a segment dream
Joe's back dream Joe's back, but it should be the song Dream Weaver dream we've I
don't know what's that song dream dream dream it was from like the 60s where all
the songs were about like screwing underage people and like they were dude
where they go listen to Dancing Queen was 17 that was in the 70s listen to
like Chuck Berry and it's just like, I love you, you're so beautiful, my sweet 16 year old.
Yeah dude, it is weird.
Ew, Chuck.
It is weird.
Fucking Chuck.
It is, there is a lot of like, it's like,
she's the girl of my dreams and I wanna sing to her
and take her out for a milkshake and a egg cream
and she's 14 years old.
And it's just like, hey, Bobby Darin, cut it the fuck out.
You know, an egg cream is disgusting.
I've never had one of you.
My mom likes them, and I wanted to slap it out of her hand.
Good thing you went with out of that hand,
not slap your mother.
I would never slap my mother, are you kidding me?
I'm good, well good, good.
I put a stick in my eye before I would do that.
But I had a dream.
Dream, dream, dream. we're past the intro all
right hey but it was a crazy dream sweet dreams are made of me who am I to
disagree but I had a dream that I was at a restaurant and there was this weird
waiter there and I'm not gonna lie who was the waiter I don't
know it was a true do you think I'm lying no but your brain is incapable of
making new faces so like whoever the waiter is is someone whose face you've
seen you guys you guys ready this is what's like being with friends with
Frankie you heard that one day didn't look it up
No, I have looked it up. I have looked it up
Is it true? I I all I've also heard that but I don't I don't know. Are you attacking then?
Yeah, because I don't know to be true. You're sitting over there like your Bobby dream
No, I I have I have I have looked into it more to the point. I have
Confidence that it is true.
Whatever.
Trust the guy in a Bucky's jersey.
You can't...
Come on.
Yeah, but you can't like...
I've heard it too.
You can't create a face in a dream.
It has to be a face you've seen before.
But it could have been a face that you've seen in passing.
That's what I've heard.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm not saying like it's someone in your life that like you remember.
You asked me who it is. I'm like, I don't know. You said, that's not true. I was like, I'm not saying like it's someone in your life that like you remember. But I literally, you asked me who it is.
I'm like, I don't know.
You said, that's not true.
I was like, I don't know.
But it was this very blonde guy.
Like he had like platinum blonde hair.
Okay.
And he was weird looking.
So you're having dreams about Aryans.
Continue.
So he, I'm at a dinner, I guess,
but there's a bunch of people there.
There's like maybe five people, but there's a bunch of people there. There's like maybe five people,
but I don't remember who was there.
And the waiter comes over and he like hands me my food
and then he gets down and kisses me on my hip.
Oh, oh.
Like it was, but my hip was like exposed.
What?
Was I wearing low rise jeans?
What the hell?
I don't know what I was wearing,
but my hip was exposed and this guy smooched it.
He was like, and I flipped.
I was like, I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
I will say this, hold on.
I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
And he gets up and he's like,
and he's just looking at me like this, like I like it.
I was like, yo, get the fuck out of here.
Oh, and then he turned kind of sinister.
And holy shit.
And then he looks at me and he goes
you look terrified
and I got out of my chair and I got in his face and I was like
where?
get the fuck out of here
oh I thought
I thought you meant like where are you gonna kiss me next
heh
what's next?
I'm gonna go as far as to say this
kissing on the
Hip kiss my hip way more sexual than any other kissing mouth penis and Frank come on
neck
Neck is the nape. Yeah. Yeah, what the hell is that nape of the neck?
Isn't it just the neck? Yeah, you know
But just chess is chess. I've already named five the neck isn't it just the neck baby yeah you know but chest chest is chest
I've already named five but like hip is crazy what are you wearing are you
wearing like a crop top and low-rise jeans and this guy was just able to just
go I don't know but he kissed it and I was just like what what did you want you
doing what did you order I don't remember any other detail you don't
remember any other I remember the table, what do you order could have invited... Frank, if it was
Afrodisiacs and I ordered only oysters. Maybe it was was it like one of those like themed restaurants where it's like
Haha, the waiters are mean to you. It's just called like instead of like dick slash resort
It's called like we kiss your bare hip. Yeah. Wow. So that was the payoff for the joke was that okay good
kiss your bare hip. Yeah.
Wow.
So that was the payoff for the joke was that.
Okay, good.
But yeah, I had a dream and I woke up and I was just like,
did I just get S-A'd?
I mean, in a way, yeah, you did.
I was very pissed off.
I mean, yeah, I can understand that.
And I didn't like that he was like,
you look terrified.
And I was like, I will fucking kill you.
As someone who was on the receiving end of a,
I told you, the guy in my legs
And stuff like that. I was there for that. Yes, you were yeah, and you remember how mad I was yeah
It's an invasion of privacy, you know, so he's in your private. He was literally invading my private
Yeah on top of the pants. Let's be very but that's great
Did you hit him or like did you then wake up cuz you know, he walked away. He walked away I will I woke up shortly after that. Yeah, or maybe I didn't but that's great. Did you hit him or like did you then wake up cuz you know he walked away
I will I woke up shortly after that. Yeah, or maybe I didn't but that's all I remember damn
Yeah, it was weird. It was a very weird dream, dude. That's insane. Yeah, it was such a strange feeling
What is that? You know the dream people are back and they're just like this means that you feel a total lack of control in your I
Don't know. Yeah yeah and I was like watching
Seinfeld before I went to sleep so I don't was it Jerry Seinfeld that kissed
your what's the deal with this cute looking hip low-rise jeans at a dinner
come on
What is that? I don't even know. We have more ads.
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Yeah, Aura Frames was kind enough to send us
and without exaggeration, easy and our favorite,
like our favorite,
Bec and I just sit there and just watch and it's incredible.
Your background, your phone does that too, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does.
You're all about that interchanging photos.
Let me tell you right now,
and we have kids and see our kids all the time every day.
So imagine like the one one in your life
doesn't get to see you or your friend,
it's a great gift.
There you go.
Now they get to see them age.
Don't do that.
Sorry.
Don't, why, like, I.
Give me a break, I got kissed on my hip last night.
I can't.
By a man.
I stared at a picture of Ruby the other day
and my eyes welled and I was just like,
I need to get this off of my phone right now.
I wanna see what's the picture right now.
Is that your favorite?
Again, it's not the same picture.
Is Rubu your favorite child?
I don't have a favorite child, Joey.
I tried to.
No, I see what you're doing there.
I tried to get ya.
You know why you're doing that.
You know the only people that ask that
is because they know they weren't
their parents' favorite child.
Well, that makes two of us.
Uh.
I was, you know what was funny is like,
someone was like, recently, you were a middle child like you have middle child syndrome and I was what is the
syndrome it's like a thing where you know I don't want to it's it's just one
of those things where like people just make up things that are wrong about
someone she's like middle child syndrome but like oh dude that sounds exactly
what something you would do middle child syndrome is a hypothetical condition
that suggests middle children develop different
personality traits in their siblings based on the idea that parents treat middle children
differently.
That said a whole lot of nothing.
What are those characteristics?
A high sense of independence.
I you know, you could say what you want about me, but I think I have that.
Feelings of alienation, competitive, risk taking.
Definitely not me.
He's not a risk taker.
I'm not a risk taker. Strong social skills, strong sharing behaviors, peacemakers,
low self-esteem, flexible friendship skills.
You are very flexible. You could get your leg all the way up.
I don't think he meant physically flexible. Friendship skills, peacemakers. I'm a violent guy.
I think...
Were you about to say I'm a violent guy.
Were you about to say you're a violent guy? I was, but I'm not.
Frank, you're definitely not.
I'm not, I'm a big teddy bear.
Yeah.
But I think some of those I have, you know?
And you're the baby of your family.
What does that mean, I'm desperate for attention
or something?
No, I think you were probably,
there's all these dynamic things,
it's like the oldest gets treated this way.
The baby gets like to do whatever they want.
Characteristics of the last born child.
Well, there goes the backspace of the youngest child.
Independent, creative, social, attention seeking,
fun loving, easy going.
That's very good.
Yeah, I think that's pretty on-brand.
Charming, confident, manipul-
What does it say, please?
Manipulative.
Did you hear how I tried to say-
Manipulative.
Manipulative.
Persistent, problem-solvers.
Okay, this is just insane.
This just sounds great.
Mine is just like, you're an idiot. You're stupid. You're weak.
And yours are like smart, kind, really easy going.
Really super easy.
Well, the reason that I technically fall into the middle child syndrome is because my younger
brothers are twins. So it's like they're treated as one. Right. You know, but there definitely
was in our house, the dynamic of like my my my parents were stricter with my sister
They lose really oh, yeah They loosened up on you know me in terms of their rules and then with my pair my brothers
It was just like who gives a fuck they were so tired at that
I mean, this is probably very obvious, but I have no idea how like we we all know that my parents love Tom
Yeah, yeah, like the first child they love Tom. He's the golden child so like that we know that but like I think for the rest
Of us they weren't really like super strict about most things. How were they with Shannon because she's the only girl
So I imagine I imagine your dad just being like you're not dating until you 98
No, my dad actually was not like that at all really okay but he like he would he know what you're
right because I remember your sister's like boyfriends would be over friends
would be they'd come over frequently yeah but my dad loved making fun of them
though like he would give him a hard time just like he gave everyone a hard
time Joey it's not like they were special everyone got made fun of by your
father we would have dinner with my family and then like her boyfriend would be there and he'd be like, yeah
You're gonna do the dishes tonight or I'd handle that. Yeah
Like you would have to help but he'd be like do the dishes
Your dad's favorite thing. I remember when we'd come over for dinners is yelling at me every time I'd forget to not eat before grace
Well, I would know yeah race and he'd be like
And I'd be like do you remember grace? Yes, because Keith would rush through it. And he'd be like, ah, yeah, and I'd be like.
Do you remember grace?
Yes, because Keith would rush through it.
I've heard this a million times.
It would always be,
I guess it's the way that the cards fell.
Keith was always the one to do it.
Yeah, you just get,
my dad would sit at the end of the table.
He's never done it,
but he would nominate everyone else.
Do it, do grace.
And it was always Keith and he'd go,
ah, bless the Lord for these I guess I'm about of even the party going so hard. Okay, come on
We eat
Lord for these thigh gifts. I'm about to receive in the bounty of Christ. Oh lord. Amen. That's a you're janky with it
But you're there. I mean, I mean for someone that is never yeah, you know. That's so funny that you remember that.
Yeah.
Always Keith, always, always, always.
Yeah, Keith, I was like,
you're gonna get fucking all right.
All right.
Eat.
And then I could fucking just like swallow the rigatoni
I have already chewed up in my mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was within fork range, so if I forgot.
Dude, I remember when we started to wean that out,
it felt so weird to be like, we could just eat.
I still have that in me.
Really?
When I'm at other people's houses, you wait?
I don't like, I don't know.
Like I don't know the right time to eat.
Becca's family is big into prayer.
Not prayer, but saying grace.
And it's always like, yeah, oh, actual like southern style grace is like, you gotta give a speech.
So Becca's dad will like, you know, he'll just be like-
He'll see that people are like getting- and there's kids involved,
so he just does like a blanket grace over the house.
He'll just be like, thank you for this food, we appreciate the blessings in our life.
You know, like, one that I could get behind more than just-
While people are still going? Like right before. Oh, could get behind while people are still gone like right before like
He tends to wait but like he does like a blanket grace just like thank you. We appreciate it good get home safe
Yeah, basically, you know tip you waitress. I don't know he doesn't do that
Yeah, you know, it's fine, you know, but like the ones where you guys were doing full-on prayers like well
We just do that one. We would never do like well, you know, it's been a good year
I would love to go to like a like a legit southern dinner where they're just like Lord, baby Jesus
Do you have given us this bounty?
You know and just see you my spell in a bucket of cream. They one of the mice drown
two mice fell in a bucket of milk
one mouse drowned the other became butter no it's cream and he turned that
but he turned that cream in a butter and he walked out I wonder how long they get
there's someone watching this that is from the south and they're just like
yeah so long I would if I get if I'm ever in the south and I have to like
give it grace I'm doing the two mice in the south and I have to like give it grace,
I'm doing the two mice and the bugger cream.
I would love to like, you know how,
remember in the first Borat movie,
he goes to like an etiquette, not an etiquette school,
but it's like a Southern gentleman thing
where he like goes to a dinner.
Yeah.
I would love to see that and us there,
but like also we would be taking the piss out of it a little
so maybe they'd get upset.
I mean I'd be alright.
I'd be upset and I wouldn't be okay for a couple reasons.
I just remembered I also had a dream last night that I shaved my face and dude I looked
very bad.
Yeah don't do it dude.
I had like a goggle in there.
A lot of your charm is your facial hair because we know how shitty your bare
naked faces
It's true
Mine too. I'm not I'm not free of I didn't want to say it. I'll say it. I'm a naked-faced ugly idiot
Wow
You crying
No, but I so weird I just remember that too.
I was like, what the fuck? Why would I do that?
I would say like a year and change ago you committed to this whole like prominent mustache, scruffy, unkempt facial hair thing.
It's worked wonders for you Joey, I have to say.
You're doing well for yourself. You should be proud.
I'm so proud of myself dude. For being unkept.
I mean, I just think that like you know what works for you.
But I do miss, you know, double-breasted shirt, bare-faced Joe who took pictures.
That was...
Frank, you took the same ones. No, no Frankie no I did Frankie no I did not Frankie
No, I did not show me one bitch
Yeah, that's bad. It's not
Tanktop, you know fucking snapback. Oh, you know the tank top says something like you know
it's a fucking Tasmanian devil and and it says like devilish, and you're like
That was you Frank you
Probably still have this in your 32 year old drawer you probably still have that t-shirt in there. I don't yes you do
It's like all the monsters in space Jam put all my grand says slam magazine
All my graphic tees into storage.
So what about your, your gas station football jerseys?
Where are those?
Oh,
Oh God.
You're lucky it's Bucky's.
One day, one day, one, we're gonna physically assault each other on this show.
Yeah.
You know, just to see what happens.
Maybe we should.
Maybe we should do a boxing match.
Maybe get us on the next card, Netflix.
We'll take a couple million dollars.
Oh yeah.
I'll take a dive if you need me to.
Let me explain something very quickly.
People were so up in arms about this Tyson versus Paul fight.
Yeah.
For the money he got, you could say whatever you wanted to about me
on the internet.
I am taking, you want me to take a dive?
I'm diving.
I'm going head first into the canvas.
I'll break my neck into the canvas. I don't know about that
Yeah, I won't do that either
I will if they're like hey
You need to make him look good and you need to let this go the distance put on a show and he wins I will say
No fucking problem. Yeah, no problem. Yeah Netflix
Come on, babe. Let us let us yeah, I
Think if you took all the people listen to our show the opportunity to pledge like a dollar or two...
To do what?
To, like, we would be able to raise enough money to get you and I to box!
We don't have to raise money for us to box.
Joey!
Oh. You're being a capitalistic pig.
Damn right, bitch!
Learn from the best.
Yeah, exactly. You added that little thing.
Mirror, meet Frank, meet reflection.
I don't know what I'm saying yet.
But I tried to say...
Mirror, meet Frank, meet reflection.
Who are you?
You project onto me, but it's really you talking to yourself because you think I'm you who's me.
Listen, baby. Birds of a Feather.
We flock together.
Flock.
Make sure that the internet picks that L up.
Really?
Flock, not fuck each other.
We're not fucking, alright?
Birds of a Feather.
What's that song?
Birds of a Feather.
Leaves the world together with me.
I don't know the words.
I don't know.
It's a Billie Eilish song, I think.
It is a Billie Eilish song. Is it Billie Eilish? Yeah, it is. Oh, I don't... Yeah, it is't know the words. I don't know. It's a Billy. I was song. I think it is a Billy. I was song
It's a Billy. I wish yeah, it is. Oh
Yeah, it is Billy. I can't set me up like shot to Billy. I was yeah, friend of the show finish up Billy
Billy come talk with us dude Billy goats gruff be cool as hell Billy goats gruff. Why'd I say that?
I don't know, but you might have just forget what he said
You know to do with
Yeah just forget what he said. Josh, you know what to do with what he said. I think that would
be a fun episode. I think so too. So, no pressure. We'll sing. We'll sing songs. We'll sing.
And we'll talk to her about like singing. Cause I'm sure that's what she wants to come
on the show and talk about. Everyone talks to her about singing. We won't, how about
this, Billy, we won't talk to you about singing at all. We'll talk to her about bugs. likes bugs the office. I don't know she wears a lot of the office. I love we I love the office
I don't know where you wear outfits, and I'm like this person looks like they're into bugs
Yeah, we'll talk about bandanas. She wears bandanas sometimes how much how much how much can you say about bandanas?
You give me the right amount of time bitch. I'll fill time with bandana talk. Okay. I guess it's gotta be careful
About bandana talk, okay? I guess. We just gotta be careful.
About bandana, oh yeah.
We gotta be real careful.
Be careful which one you're aware and talk about.
Yeah, that too.
Anyway, geez, right off target.
Off target, off track.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
I'll talk, I'll talk.
What am I talking about?
Are we done?
Yeah, we're done, we're done.
I'm done with this, I'm done with this.
I'm losing my mind, I think if Alvarez 8085 on Twitter
See it was confidence with conviction
If Alvarez 8085 on Twitter
The Frank Alvarez and all other forms of social media follow the basement yard be like Billy Eilish who follows the show just on tick tock
I think she still does but I'm not sure and also the Rizler
Huh? He does what's up?
Being excited about a billy eilish the Rizler we're connected we have rain
We've got rain show check it out social media the basement yard on everything. Thank you for love and support
Basement yard a patreon.com has a base. We know we love you. We appreciate you. We can't really love you.
We can't really love you.
Yeah.
You guys can go follow me at Joe Sinegal.
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See you guys next time.