The Basement Yard - #481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Welcome back to the basement yard. Welcome back to the basement yard. Welcome back to the basement yard. It is I, Frank Alvarez. Thanks for joining me on this adventure of laughs, love, and maybe a little bit of
Starting point is 00:00:16 self reflection. Can I guess your favorite color? Red. Red is what I was going to say. Yeah, bitch, well guess what? It's purple, I know, relax. Guess what, bitch? It's Frank Alvarez. Here I am joined today by Monochrome Mikey. Sorry, One Tone Terry. Oh, you wrote down a bunch of jokes? Bland Brian. That's you today too, bitch.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Or Carl the Cream Looking Cuck. That's you, bitch, your cream head to toe. What the fuck is wrong? Stand stand up show him the whole outfit Show him the whole outfit show him okay show them. I will but no no no no before okay Yeah, look at this nice sweater the exact same look and then show him the shoes show the shoes look at you You'd be invisible in a blizzard you fucking loser Frank. Use flair at some pop pizzazz oh how about my Bucky's football shirt hell yeah jersey don't you dare disrespect
Starting point is 00:01:12 jerseys yeah I said football shirt did say football shirt because Frank you're wearing one color too I'm not bitch I'm wearing several colors three oh four five this is the day you choose to say a joke about me and I look good sorry do Real colors! Three! Oh, four! Five! This is the day you choose to say a joke about me. And I look good. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:01:29 You do look good! I apologize. This is- you know what this is? Yeah. This is me defending the fact that you can just sit there and wear one color. You can walk straight out of the pink tile at fucking Lowe's and you can look passable! Oh. And what do you look like?
Starting point is 00:01:42 I look great. I look like the everyman. I look like someone that people look at and they're like, that's a bro that I'd like to have a beer with. You know what you look like I look great I look like the everyman I look like someone that people look at they're like that's a bro that I'd like to have a beer With you know what you look like you look like you came straight out of a fucking eyes wide shut party where people are fucking each Other with giant dildos on their noses. I don't know have you seen the movie. Yeah, I don't think you have Time since I've seen that. Yeah. Well, you know, are you wearing a watch at least that adds a little color?
Starting point is 00:02:08 That's not. Ah, I'm not. No. I said it's not. It's not. So you're just committing to cream today. The cream commitment from Joey. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:16 He's committing to cream all over his body. And you're committing to red. And black and white. Red, black and white. A classic combination. White, cream and beige. You're gonna tell me red and black isn white a classic combination white cream and beige You're gonna tell me red and black isn't a great color combination in eighth grade I used to think it was the coolest thing like oh, it's so cool
Starting point is 00:02:32 What was your like do you remember on aim how you could make it so like anytime you typed it was like The font color and then it was highlighted in a different color. Do you remember what you're my gosh? You remember what yours was green and black I think oh Okay, you're gonna hate mine. It Oh, okay. You're gonna hate mine. It's like alien-ish. You're gonna hate mine. Sure I will. It was lime green and red.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Lime green and red? Why, because you love the watermelon? Because I was different, brother. Because I was being so different, down to my font. You know? That's just the way it was. it's just the way it was that's just the way it is good link good link good link things will never be the same that's a great song man I see no changes wake up in a moment and I ask myself is
Starting point is 00:03:19 life worth living should I blast myself well there we go demonetization immediately but you say blast yourself I don't think that you get in trouble Yeah, unaliving is good blasting is good even better. I would say finger blasting. I think might get you demonetized Also a wild way to describe what you're doing say blast is having the comeback year that like crap had last year Finger blast blast me in the face, you know You act like people are like saying that I have seen more me in the face. You know what I'm talking about? You act like people are saying that in abundance. I think I have seen more blasting in the last year than I have in the previous 31 of my life.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I don't think. Not like, I mean like on, I should probably, I mean in text or verbiage, not like in actual action. I was just gonna say something so weird. Go ahead. I don't know if I should say it now. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Well now you should. It's gonna sound weird, but you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Don't don't please don't throw me in a hole here. Listen, we're in this hole together if you're going down. I was gonna say that I feel like the younger generation doesn't talk about Yeah Listen I have no choice. You know how that was such a big deal for us when we were younger. I know I You know what we're in this together. We go down with the ship together, baby. Hop on, babe. Here we go, the SS Titanic that Berg just hit
Starting point is 00:04:32 and we're swimming right now. Yeah. That was the thing back in the day. It was, yeah. I can't confirm nor deny. Actually, I'll go as far as, I don't know how many people are talking about it now. Yeah, me neither.
Starting point is 00:04:47 I don't have an ear to the ground. I'm just not tapped in. I'm not tapped into the finger blasting community. I don't have the finger blasting statistics in front of me. Where do you think that term came from? The blasting? Yeah. Do you think someone was doing it
Starting point is 00:05:01 and they were just like pew pew? No, I don't think that. Not everything is Star Wars, Frank. It's time to grow up. Take the jersey off. Uh. I can't believe it. You had the audacity to walk in here like the fucking poster boy for Williams and Sonoma
Starting point is 00:05:18 and you're going to make fun of me for my incredibly cool. It's a cool company. Incredibly cool jersey. I like the jersey. Yeah. What if we got a sponsorship by Buc-E's? What if we are the first podcast they sponsor? It wouldn't be us.
Starting point is 00:05:32 First of all, get Greg on the motherfucking horn. Yeah, Greg. Cause that would be awesome. Greg, if you have ever done work here, now is the time. Yeah. Now is the time. Get on the horn and make something happen. Show me your value.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Family-owned business, they might find... Maybe they like us. They might find us appealing when they find out that we went to four Buc-E's in a matter of 24 hours. That's a disgusting amount. We spent collectively probably $2,000 at a Buc-E's. Yeah, we paid for a car payment over there or something. We paid for one of their very well-paid employees
Starting point is 00:06:04 to have lunch or something like that hundred percent because that's another thing if you guys have been to a Bucky's look at that sign that tells you what they get paid good for them yeah they make bank good for them and and I'll tell you someone that worked in retail they deserve every fucking penny of it because that is a hellhole of an industry yeah it is and especially around this time of the year did you ever work a lot? I mean did you ever work in retail to the point where you had to like fold clothes? Yeah, so really so
Starting point is 00:06:31 Just to give you I can't speak for what the breakdown and like the fucking structural shit is good Because if you were gonna go through your resume, I was gonna walk out of here No, no, no, no, but the way that target was organized when I was there is there was a, like the store manager, and then there was like the assistant managers, but the store manager was called like the store team lead, and then the people that were in my position were the executive team leaders. So like it was just kind of like, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:59 and we were, we had our like work, you know, like center, like what we were doing. Mine my was asset protection other was like guest experience sales floor But you still had to fold but you kind of just had to do whatever the job required So there were days where I spent 10 hours without exaggeration just folding t-shirts And it was are you good at it? I'm a pretty good t-shirt folder. I don't mean I get yo I don't know how I still to this day. I'm not good at folding long-sleeve t-shirts. And it was- Are you good at it? I'm a pretty good t-shirt folder. I don't mean to- I'm not good. I don't know how, still to this day,
Starting point is 00:07:27 I'm not good at folding long sleeve t-shirts. Long sleeves suck, but you have to fold the sleeves and then fold them up on themselves like a full Nelson. Yeah, I just, I don't do that. Yeah. You want to know how I fold them? Here we go, here we go, here we go. So I take how you would fold a t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Here, no, just go, just go. It doesn't matter. Uh, here we go, here we go, here we go. So I take how you would fold a t-shirt. Here. Uh, no, just go, just go. It doesn't matter. Yeah, here! Um, I just like, so this is a t- This is the thing with the long sleeves. I just fold the t-shirt in half. So now it's like- And you fold the sleeve like in itself.
Starting point is 00:07:57 And then I just- That's fine, that's not bad. Oh, that's cool. I think so. I'm not, I mean, I am not the folding police. That's true. So- I mean, you're usually the police for everything around here.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Well... Brazil and I meet for everything. Someone needs to be. This is a lawless organization where people just run amok and make people get Brazilian waxes. Okay, that was ten years ago! Two, but who's counting? Someone is. My bonge is counting, I'll tell you that. I bet you wish it was more slick than it is now.
Starting point is 00:08:20 I will bet you any amount of money that I'll never do that again in my entire life. I mean... But, uh, yeah, I think that's'll never do that again in my entire life. I mean, but Yeah, I think that's that's a fine way to do it But like the way that I was taught was like you hold it up you fold the sides in Mmm, and then you like do a little flip on the bottom and then a flip over the top Got it. And then you know, of course when I was there our store then decided to get like the like table Oh, yeah, cut cut cut cut. I wish brother. That's cool. I might get one of those at home. Fuck it I've gone down deep rabbit holes of watching Asian women fold clothes before what there's those tick tocks where it's just like
Starting point is 00:08:57 Grab this grab this grab this folded and I'm just like you're a wizard I'm literally watching that and I'm like yo, this is so crazy That's the closest we'll get to Hogwarts is being able to fold shirts like that, but it's like yeah Oh, hi, and I can't I can't understand it It's it's like you know like contortionists and shit like that like they it's like they're like oh Yeah, and I'm like how the fuck doesn't make sense and I'll be honest. I'm a little pissed off about it But you know What do you ever watch on Netflix?
Starting point is 00:09:27 There's that woman who like comes into your house and like organizes the shit I've never watched it, but if I hear one more thing about it was the Asian woman right yeah We're on to you. Okay organization and folding and math and math yeah and and tech Innovation yeah, but math and math yeah um oh and and tech innovation yeah but I'm just saying like squid everyone there was a like an eight okay there was like an eight month period where all I heard about was that shit yeah and it was just like fucking enough I like people were just like walk into a closet, touch a shirt. If you don't feel anything, throw it out. And it was like, Oh, it was like energy. Yeah. It was like, Oh, I didn't see that.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Oh yeah. That was a big one. No, that was a big one. I feel nothing when I hold every piece of clothing because it's cool. It's clothing. Exactly. I'm not like, mom, but see, I am the opposite end where I'll, I'll see it and I'll be like, I wore this the first day of ninth grade And I remember that was the day that Paulette said that she might have a crush on me. Yeah, and you know you uh Would be that woman's worst nightmare. I would yeah, I would be like, you know, like those could you Frank? Oh my god Do you think if we sent someone into your house to throw out like 10% of your stuff that you would make it out alive
Starting point is 00:10:49 No, I would be like you ever see that little like that little like southern fat kid that was like piss that the woman came in To get rid of all like the bacon in his house. Yeah show where he's just like Yeah, I would be I would be very upset And it wouldn't make for a good video because Oh it would. It would not. Oh my god dude that would be so funny. But see now, you're like in hoarders Stop that! Stop that bitch!
Starting point is 00:11:16 No you're not as bad as them obviously. There was a woman though that I saw who was hoarding shit feces feces I think that's the multiple of feces one is a feces several is feces feces feci yeah yeah not to be confused with fetuses there was none of those there no one's having sex with the woman who's hoarding shit in her house human shit you would be surprised I would be shocked but she had all this shit and then the guys like yo we gotta and she's
Starting point is 00:11:45 like stop yeah that's a that's an obvious mental health issue I mine is not tied to any confirmed cases of mental health but I just I feel like I feel like a deep sense of connection to things that I have because I have a very vivid memory I'll be honest with you. Recently, I've gone through and gotten rid of a lot of stuff because. Not because of me. I have just, no.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Thank God. Nothing I do is because of you. Okay. I've just like put myself in a position where I am like my, I forget some of the stuff where like I like recently remembered a story and it was like, I almost forgot that forever. We've been watching a lot of Inside Out
Starting point is 00:12:27 and it's been fucking me up mentally. You haven't watched it. You don't. I've seen that scene and I like, The Bing Bong, right? Yeah. Yeah, don't. We're talking to the character,
Starting point is 00:12:36 not the obvious relation to a flaccid thing that we have spoken about before. Oh, oh. Pretty sure on our show we've called. I don't think anyone was making that connection. I'm pretty sure on our show, we've called a penis a bing-bong before we've called it everything yeah well but I Have gotten I've been getting better at it, okay?
Starting point is 00:12:54 I also live with someone who's the polar opposite who will just must have throw everything out not everything but like She's pretty good at getting rid of things like like getting rid of stuff I I don't you like new stuff I do like new stuff But you know it's even better than new stuff new stuff on top of you already having this also cool stuff, you know old stuff yeah Well, you say old I say storied. That's the way that I story That's the way I approach it. That's a cute way of well seasoned Right. You know think of well when you're talking about underwear
Starting point is 00:13:25 And then you're saying seasoned. It's disgusting because I have a better connection to the earth and You know just a sense of spirituality than technically because you're not littering because you're not throwing out your old underwear I think like I have 25 year old underwear. You know that no I have 20 year old underwear okay You know that no, I have 20-year-old underwear. Okay, not 25 shout out to whoever made that by the way holding up like holding up for no No, it is not it is tattered your body you wearing. No, no, no, no, no, it is in storage You don't wear it. Yeah, of course, is it framed it is it is in storage at the moment It is tattered. It has gotten to a point where the elastic is like if I pull it it will turn into dust. Yeah, so um,
Starting point is 00:14:08 You know that's insane dude. Well, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do throw it out speaking of insane? Okay, I God, thank god. I remember to show you this there was a guy that tweeted at us. I am firmly assuming gender here, uh, but Luke schultz Shout out to our friend on twitter ex. I am firmly assuming gender here. But Luke Schultz, shout out to our friend on Twitter, X, I don't care. But he's like, all right, we talked about AI recently. And he's like, yo, I was fucking around with AI one day and I asked them to make a script and audio for you guys, for your show. And it- Oh, like an AI version of our show?
Starting point is 00:14:46 An AI version of our show. It is like 90 seconds long, so it is not long at all. But it is, and I listened to it. Joey has not seen it yet. Please. I texted him saying, don't check your Twitter mentions. And he said, I don't anyways. So I need to play this for you.
Starting point is 00:15:04 90 seconds, it's us. It is a fucking world doesn't sound like us. Honestly, kind of that's freaky but like you can hear it and you hear like something is off. Okay, like the you know, it's just weird. So this is not this is like our actual intro. Welcome back to the basement yard, the podcast where we sit in a basement and talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Today I'm joined by my co-host, Frankie. What's up, Joe? What the hell are you doing?
Starting point is 00:15:34 What do you mean? You look like you just escaped from a mental institution. And hey. So that's us. That's opening. Already accurate. Oh, very accurate. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:15:43 Just fighting off the bat. You're immediately offending me and like it's scary It sounds like I love that. It's AI saying like this is a show about us in a basement I probably wrote that I'm like a bio some that was probably the very first episode where it's just like a show where we like Just like basement chats Which could be like very strange, but yeah, so you immediately start off making fun of me, right? Which is what you did today? Uh, yeah, we will we exchange blows. We exchange we exchange We're blowing each other blowing each other so you one day you're blowing at me I'm blowing you
Starting point is 00:16:20 It's a good old blow fest Sometimes we blow at each other at the same time and he gets caught in the middle and we get there's yeah There's like that like like thing in the middle where like Voldemort and Harry Potter are squared off We're just exchanging blows and it's just like melting in between us comic book Frank taking it to the next level here We go comic book bitch What do you mean? You look like you just escaped from a mental institution. Hey, that's not a nice thing to say I'm sorry, but it's true. You know what joe? Our fathers don't love us Hey, man, that's not nice, you know what our fathers I mean the the immediate pivot I think maybe ai if I'm putting myself in the brain of this wildly
Starting point is 00:17:09 Intellectual algorithm artificial intelligence. I think I think I'm doing three fingers for thinking I'm doing three fingers for thinking. Okay, I think that it is connecting our ability to blow each other, go back and forth, with our lack of love from our fathers. Maybe it's just drawing the, maybe that we're so defensive and like to make fun of each other
Starting point is 00:17:37 because we saw love as being made fun of from our fathers. Which is not accurate, if we're being honest. Our fathers love us. Our fathers love. We just like to make that joke. It took a while, yeah. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:17:49 Yeah. Yeah, so like maybe it's connecting those two things. And it's just saying like, you know, maybe, I don't know. Maybe they're. I don't know how, that was a wild segue, I will say that. Okay. Not that we're good at segues, but like that was pretty bad. We're not good at segues, AI is not, definitely not good. It's capturing how bad we are at segues. Maybe that that was pretty we're not good at segues AI is not definitely not it's capturing
Starting point is 00:18:06 How bad we are in segues? Maybe that's what it is That first of all was the best Greatest place on the planet love a story. Hey, I correct yourself. Yeah, I'm not gonna say bitch because I don't want them We don't know we don't know yet. Yeah, we've seen I robot. We've seen And Terminator yeah, and maybe we just oh wow didn't even think about Terminator. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you should probably That's like physical intelligence. That's like it's not order. it starts in one place. I've gotten to move to the other You know I mean what what you know, what's the difference but? We did grow up with parents and had very strong opinions on things sure
Starting point is 00:18:53 But that has just created us that have strong opinions on things mm-hmm Right the end part of that and then it was just oh we grew up in a story up in his story Which was like not the, not the best experience. I had a great time. The greatest time. Yeah, I had a good time. I, it's not a bad neighborhood. I mean, I don't know what it is now
Starting point is 00:19:12 cause I haven't lived there. I feel like it's way safer now and then it was then it was safe then. I mean, it was great. It's Astoria is if we- I actually don't know if any of that's true. Yeah, that's why you're sitting there making like, you know, fucking.
Starting point is 00:19:25 I'm going off a field. You are. And honestly, I would much prefer a world that goes off field than actual crime statistics. Right, well. Yeah, that's what you did, bitch. Okay. So, greatest place on the planet to grow up.
Starting point is 00:19:37 We had the greatest childhood. I will ride that until I am dead. Ride it. Which isn't, okay. All right. Yeah, Astoria was a crap hole, but we made it out of there and now we're living in the greatest city in the world,
Starting point is 00:19:53 New York City. AI. Hey bitch. Fuck, I did it. Don't do that. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Bitch.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Astoria is in New York City. Crap hole. Yeah, it is. And also not a York City. Crap hole. Yeah it is. And also, not a crap hole. Also, crap hole. Maybe AI didn't want a curse for us. Okay. Because normally when you insult me I don't say, that's not very nice, I say go fuck yourself.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Right, you say something of that effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Crap hole. And now we live in the greatest city in the world, New York City. Same place. Yeah. Yeah. One of New York City's little smaller towns. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that. Yeah. Yeah. What's that? Um, 9-11.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I'm just joking, man. This AI is good! He knows us pretty well, dude. There's still one big fat problem. 9-11. Also, big fat problem. Nine eleven. Also a big fat problem. Big fat problem is that, that's a goodie. That's a good one.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Yeah, big fat problem. Nine eleven. We have coined that. We coined. We have a coin. We have a coin now. We have a coin. We are the originators of big fat problem.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Just like the Rock is the originator of SmackDown. What a, who else made words? uh I don't know it hit on me yeah there's still one big problem one big fat problem and why did I go uh 9-eleven? I wasn't sure this is awesome I will say that is a big problem I would yeah I would say it's still we are we are saying still to this day feeling the effects of it That is true Yeah, you know so Honestly AI is kind of not missed yet No, no, no, go ahead. No, I was gonna say I wasn't gonna say anything interesting. You weren't gonna say anything interesting
Starting point is 00:22:02 I told you that yeah, I Keep rewinding a little bit. It's okay. What's that? Um, 9-11. Right. Oh, come on, Joe. That's not funny. I'm just joking, man. The NYPD can handle it.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Yeah, they can. What? The NYPD can handle it? You know, the famously thick-skinned police department in the city of New York I'm just kidding man the NYPD can handle it. Why am I the NYPD? Yeah, what did I say just now? That is so fucking funny because Why like can they can they hit like then not only that but where is AI going that that's what you come up with Yeah, like they can handle they could take the joke and I like that they have put me as the moral high ground of the show
Starting point is 00:22:53 Consistent that's what that means. Yeah, like they can take a joke. I thought it was like the NYPD can handle 9-eleven I mean they did they I mean in addition to the FDNY, Portable, other you know neighboring you know places and offices but like I didn't know it was the joke that it was referring to. It was saying like I was like oh that's not nice and you're like they can handle it. Okay yeah. I'll be honest with you. It's mad funny. If anyone were to hear our 9-eleven jokes I don't think the NYPD it's not like we're making jokes about 9-eleven. Mm-hmm, but like I don't think they would handle it I'll do you one better. I know the FDNY won't because
Starting point is 00:23:35 There is one that I have made 9-eleven jokes to and he's not he's not yeah No, I can imagine he's not pumped dude. He saw a clip where we made a 9-eleven joke and he did not No, no, I can imagine he's not pumped about dude. He saw a clip where we made a 9-eleven joke and he did not He was just like it's not funny It is not funny. We know it's not but what we for just let's clear the air real quick. Yeah We're not making jokes about it happening. We're making it work People use it as like the soapbox to stand on like oh, yeah You think there's a there's a current war and this and these people and they're treated bad What about 9-eleven and it's just like yes, that was bad like they use it as like a red herring
Starting point is 00:24:13 She's just like kind of draw attention away. I mean I Don't know. I also tell my dad to like my dad. Come on You've made worse jokes Yeah, yeah, I've heard some jokes. Yeah, come on. I've heard some jokes, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah, I remember I was one time in,
Starting point is 00:24:31 like your dad had drove me home and it was on the car clock, it was 9-11. And I saw it and I did the sign of the cross. Like that was something, no, but that was something I legitimately did for years afterward. And your dad stopped the car and would not let me out to talk to me. Like he talked to me for like 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:24:54 About 9-11? Just like, you know, like that's, you know, he loves it. He's so passionate. Your dad not only is so passionate, but he's just blown away by viewing small acts of compassion in other people He's a very soft and compassionate guy. So when you do something like that, he's like, oh Your dad is like the ultimate like SNL years ago did a sketch which I thought was so funny where it was like NYPD officers like giving a speech at like their daughter's birthday and it was just like, you know, I'm rough and tough, but like, don't get me, you know, he's that.
Starting point is 00:25:27 And he is that to a T. The guy for lack of better, maybe even literal ways has sandpaper thick skin. But the minute you crack something that makes him emotional, he's a very emotional guy. And like, Joe, it's just, it's a wrap. He's he's a very emotional guy and like Joe, it's just it's so nice. It like calls me and tells me that. He's so like he is so like on a human level like amazed at compassion. Yeah. Like can you believe they yelled the door open for me? Like yeah
Starting point is 00:25:59 that's a pretty standard thing to do but like it's it's just nice. That's what I'll say. My dad on the other hand, skin level understanding. Dad they held the door open for you. Yeah okay you know you know just like okay. You talk to him about like building a chair though he'll light up like a Christmas tree. Oh my god yeah the moment you talk about like lathers and like you know fucking pipe fitters the guy will cry you a river. What are those chairs called that are like? Adirondack. Yeah Adirondack. He called me. Oh Adirondack. You put a you want to put a fridge in it? He put a cooler in everything. A cooler in everything. Everything. I remember I was in college and he would call me I was in college and he would call me three times a week to tell me about when he would build Adirondack chairs. He loves them.
Starting point is 00:26:50 And what was the most annoying is that he would call them Adirondack. And I'm like, you know that that's wrong, dad. Adirondack. The Adirondack chairs. What you gotta do is I can make it for you. I was like, dad, please stop. When Twitter was like a popular thing, my dad would be like, twat that. I'd be like, you know it's not called that.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Like, you know it's not called that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, remind me, I gotta tell you a funny joke about my dad in social media. Here we go. Adirondack chairs, by the way, love them. Yeah, they're okay. I like them.
Starting point is 00:27:19 What's that? 9-Eleven. Oh, come on, Joe, that's not funny. I'm just joking, man. The NYPD can handle it. Yeah, they got this. But seriously, I've got something to share with you guys. I've invented an everything bagel hot sauce. That's great, Joe.
Starting point is 00:27:30 What's next? I don't know. Maybe you can pitch me some ideas for a new product we can invent and sell. How about a hat that doubles as a toaster? That's ridiculous. What about a pair of shoes that can clean the toilet? You're insane, Frank. I'm not going to do that.
Starting point is 00:27:38 I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. You can pitch me some ideas for a new product we can invent and sell How about a hat that doubles as a toaster? That's ridiculous What about a pair of shoes that can clean the toilet? You're insane
Starting point is 00:27:49 So oh so the AI is picking up on how you have bad ideas Yeah I have no defense there. Is there mics in here? Yes, there are they're in front of our faces. I'm in secret mic secret little mics They also just absolutely picked up on the fact that you're a shill for anything you make What do you mean? You're a shill for anything you make which is like I don't know what a shill is I know shillings. Well when you shill for, you're just like a like a just you will just put out for it basically. Like, you know, so you're a shill for your hot sauce, which you posted
Starting point is 00:28:32 on social media, the new hot sauce didn't tell you fire. I know. I'm not saying the flavor. Okay, don't worry. I am big secret guy over here. Don't worry about it. Okay. You know me BSG big secret guy. BSGG Frank as someone that has not only tried it but bought several bottles of it very good congratulations you guys take a victory lap bitch like I can't as soon as I started I was like I'm here and I gotta keep going and I hated it the whole time. Oh, fuck. So, yeah, so then it went into my... Call me crazy. Shoes that can clean a toilet don't sound like a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:29:16 That should exist. If it doesn't already. It's easier to get your foot in the toilet. You don't want to get your hand into a toilet, so you just shove your toes in it. You could just get a thing. They make scrubbers better. Yeah but even those those things are fucking just caves of bacteria. Yeah I don't but I don't like when people have like blue water I hate that. Oh why? Because it reminds me of like my aunt's house or something. Gotcha. Which what happened there Joey? Nothing. give anything to tell the the room no, I just read just like I don't know
Starting point is 00:29:48 It's just like whack like I'd rather have white water like clear water The bowl is like You uh Where that outfit so you got to be really careful. All right, let me finish this hood on this Yeah, I know we cut it off. Let's get to, let's finish this so we can get to the ad. Frankie, I know, but that's why you love me. Speaking of love, do you remember that time
Starting point is 00:30:13 when you tried to gaslight me into believing that I said something very, very offensive about African-Americans and the Jews? Oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh I'm gonna throw up It's right it is right, but I don't think I've ever guessed that you and is saying something about about I mean Probably I just said we cut off your hood, you white bastard! Yeah, exactly! You fucker! That's crazy! That's insane! They have picked up on what I think makes
Starting point is 00:30:56 certain things that people like seeing What is with the inflections? There was one point where I went, I don't know I think that's just a weird AI thing that they can't- There's just a weird AI thing that like they can't, like there's just certain parts of like human speech that you can't replicate. I guess like, and the juice?
Starting point is 00:31:11 Yeah. What is that? And it's just like, hey Joe, that's nice. Yeah, weird. It's just, it's working the king's out. It's like the voice version of like when AI has like an extra finger. You ever see those pictures?
Starting point is 00:31:21 Oh yeah. It's gross. Or those ones that I know you love where it's just like the animals and like the Chernobyl sewers and stuff like that oh do they show you another one no I saw one the other day that might haunt you legitimately to the day you die I will close my eyes it was a giant spider with a dog's mouth okay I think I'm hey Frank don't even attempt to show me that because I'm not gonna look Yeah, that's it that's it. Oh we ended it with that Luke
Starting point is 00:31:52 What? Gotta say good stuff crazy. I mean listen if more people tend to do this, please don't maybe don't but like Maybe we'll look at them. Maybe they're good. Maybe they're funny I mean it would be interesting to see like what AI comes up with, but that's terrifying. I mean, it's gonna be hard. They just set a real clear benchmark. That was pretty good.
Starting point is 00:32:14 So go ahead, speaking of- We had 9-11 and gaslighting in it, I mean. And our dad's not loving us, and divorced parents. Those are the three pillars of- Now I just feel like a hack. You know, cause buildings were famous- Like every episode is about those things. Buildings were famously are the three pillars of... Now I just feel like a hack. You know, because buildings were famous. Buildings were famously made with three pillars. What's the fourth pillar of our episode?
Starting point is 00:32:32 Me gaslighting you into trying to convince the world that you're a horrible person. Fathers. Fathers not loving us, divorced parents, 9-11. Yeah, I guess those four things, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe there's a there's a like famously buildings were built with four pillars okay but what do I know anyway we do have some ads for today the set hut the first one being fit bod fit bod is a lovely way to get in shape. They're going to create
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Starting point is 00:34:10 And it's also more affordable than a personal trainer. You can get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbot.me slash basement. So if you want to try jumping into the world of fitness, even if you have never done it before or you don't know too much, there's over a thousand demonstration videos so you can learn a lot from this as well.
Starting point is 00:34:29 But yeah, get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbod.me slash basement spelled F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash basement. Go try it right now. Also this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy, okay? If you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so with BetterHelp. In just 48 hours, they will connect you to a therapist. They also make it very easy to switch from, you know,
Starting point is 00:34:56 different therapists to different ones so that you can find the right fit for you, because that is a big portion of it. You know, you don't want to be telling all your secrets to someone you don't really vibe with, so it's important to find the right fit for you. And I've been in therapy for years. I think that therapy is very important and everyone should be in it at some point in their life, if not all the time.
Starting point is 00:35:18 So yeah, I think that it's very helpful, especially in ways that you don't even really know. Like even if you feel like, I'm good, I don't really have anything, I'm pretty happy and blah, blah, blah. Like it's good. Starting there is a good starting point and you can kind of probably unlock some stuff. It's very helpful. It feels like organizing your life.
Starting point is 00:35:35 It's nice. So if you wanna get started with BetterHelp, you can go to betterhelp.com slash basement yard and you would get 10% off of your first month, okay? So that is betterhelp.com slash basement yard to get 10% off of that first month. All right, enjoy Well, you're taking that self love self help journey Why don't you do me a favor and go to patreon.com and take a journey with us a journey into more of us, baby I don't mean to assimilate both things to being the same but you never know
Starting point is 00:35:59 Maybe you need some more time to smile happy all that stuff So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard where we continue to tell you guys and thank you guys for all the love and support. You signed up today and that first year you get these weekly episodes one week in advance and that second year you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with the basement yard. You guys have continued to support us and help us grow. And you know, I know this is something Joe has spoken about on our Patreon episodes, but we're currently in transition into a new
Starting point is 00:36:28 studio and it's because of people like you, uh, that have helped and supported us. Also, if you're looking for a last minute gift for the basement yard fan in your life or someone that you want to get into the show or said, Hey, I've been wanting to get into a show. Patreon is a great, great, great holiday gift idea. So check it out, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you guys so much patreon.com slash the base video art. Thank you guys so much. We appreciate you. We love you.
Starting point is 00:36:48 And we're really excited for 2025. Speaking of the new studio, I have to thank you for the carte blanche that you have given me to really just build out the studio to be, you know, I'm going to stop you there. One, I don't know what carte blanche means to know whatever you're saying I haven't done yes you have you said you heart lunch you said what is that yeah what language is that Latin come on Joey it's French look it up if you don't understand it you don't know don't you look up carte blanche you don't know Joey I know what it means you don't know look up carte blanche Joey Look up carte blanche, Joey. No, I know Cate Blanchette.
Starting point is 00:37:26 She is, so she is a descendant of Mr. Carte Blanche. You must think so low of me that I would believe that. No, I think high of you that you're gonna check that. I'm not. And you know, teach yourself. But I had a conversation with Greg and he told me that you said that I'm good to like build out a T-section in the new studio. That never happened.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Yeah it did. Tea section? Yeah like a whole section of like now you will be able to enjoy quality teas in the new studio. Yeah. Yeah. Are you going to get a really cool teapot? I'm going to, again carte blanche, so I'm going to get everything from the bottom up. I'm talking quality teas, good tea, you know, a nice little tea table, some cups.
Starting point is 00:38:07 You can do whatever you want. I just don't know. You know, I think it's going to have a really tough time getting expense. No, no, no. I think that's going to be tough. Well, Greg gave me the number for the credit card. I'll read it here if you want. Yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Read it. But like, I appreciate it. I appreciate you allowing us your, as you have referred to us, as your underlings, to really take- I never said that. Sorry, I mean, I can't say the exact word that you used. Oh, here we go, okay. But take ownership in the space
Starting point is 00:38:33 that we are using to create, because we want to feel at home in this space. So you're gonna bring a bunch of oolongs. Oh, no, no, no, I'm gonna buy a bunch of oolongs. Right. On your dime. Right. On our dime, because we are in this together. Can't reach there.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Come on. But it doesn't feel like that with what you're saying. I think it does feel like that. I think there have been some great ideas for the studio that you have done nothing but shoot down. Bro, Greg has, and this is not a joke, Greg has had maybe the worst ideas he's ever come up with when it comes to the studio. I don't think that's true. And both of you have ran away with this idea
Starting point is 00:39:15 where like suddenly they forgot that we have a job and it's like, we could do this, this, and this. I'm like, there will be no room left if you wanna make this a fucking, Greg has pitched a basketball hoop eight different ways and one of them Legitimately he was like he's like dude. You're probably gonna say no so like for whatever, but he's trying he was at me with the Keith He's like you probably won't like this, but like here. Oh, man. That's the Keith move of all kids Yeah, he's like no you probably won't like it. You're probably gonna say no. I was like, I think he's the dumbest thing you've ever heard. I was like, Greg, I'm going to say no, but tell me.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And he's like, that room in the back there, like if we just put down like hardwood and a basketball hoop, I was like, I think it's a great idea. Good, you guys could fucking do it. So we're not putting, no, we're not doing it. Okay. It's a big room and they want to put a half court there. I think that hardwood What do we need that joey as someone like you who consistently reads books about different business and setups and stuff like that
Starting point is 00:40:17 I think you have to acknowledge that the approach to business that the approach to businesses nowadays have been more playful and they engage in, you know, feng shui that promote more of a placement for creativity. So for instance, when I worked as an electrician for a couple of years, uh, I, uh, one of the, one of the sites I was at was the LinkedIn headquarters. And this is serious, in Manhattan. I don't know if it still uses the LinkedIn headquarters, but they had a whole room. Hold on, hold on.
Starting point is 00:40:56 They have a whole room of like, arcade games and like, you know, like just like fun, fun creative spaces. Fun, fun, yeah. Like fun creative spaces fun fun yeah like fun startups that now they have like the ping-pong table you know there's a beer taps well get drunk turn the day 90% of startups fail 90 90% well I don't I don't even consider what we're doing a startup my idea is low I thought it'd be higher I think that we are a well-seasoned story.
Starting point is 00:41:25 We are seasoned. We are seasoned well. And I know the- We are seasoned well. The step, you know, adding in people like myself, Ahmed, I've allowed the seasoning to be just more diverse. Seasoned. You guys are the seasoning.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Because I think you would admit that you and Greg are more of a salt and pepper. And, and, and the addition of myself, Ahmed, we add a little more. Speaking of the devil, he just walked by the window. POCs. Yes. We add pox. We add, that's what you've referred to was as a pox on the industry. What does that mean? Never heard that saying.
Starting point is 00:42:03 No. A pox on the industry is just like the death of the industry or something like that. Is it really? Yeah, you've never heard that saying no a pox on the industry is just like the the death of the industry or something Is it really you've never heard wait? Is that like sure for like people of color? They just called POCs They go pox is like small pox large pox. Oh, whatever is in between monkey pox I don't think that large pox is all pox dog pox is also is anything dolphin pox dolphin pox. No, I made that up. Oh, how many pox's are there? Chicken, I know pocky's those are good Love pocky's. I love pocky's love underrated. You remember you used to have those right also Asian I remember he used to have those all the time Tiffany wins our girl
Starting point is 00:42:40 Haven't spoken her in 21 years, but what's up Tiffany? We've talked about Tiffany mad times on this show. We have talked about Tiffany when? I mean, we're here, we're here. Like a lot. Yeah. And we just want her to know, we haven't spoken to her in 21 years. But she's made an impact.
Starting point is 00:42:56 She is a member of the basement yard lore at this point in time. She is, yeah. And she had all the pencils. We hope she's well. She did not share them. We hope, first of all, hope she's alive. Could you imagine if she's like, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:43:07 If she has left us, that'd be heartbreaking. Left us. If she left us. We wish you well. Do you think anyone from our fifth grade graduation class? I can name one person with a certainty that has. Has passed away?
Starting point is 00:43:21 Yes. Well, yeah, our friend in fourth grade. No, fifth grade. Who? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah our friend in fourth grade. No fifth grade who oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's sad. Yeah. Yeah, it was really sad. I don't think anyone else though I heard I hope everyone's thriving thriving doing well Dan getting by today. I wonder if they even realize like Or they hate it like if they are yeah they're just like please shut the fuck up shut these two fucking idiots up I will say this we are due
Starting point is 00:43:51 for a like return to our elementary school what the holes nobody knows us there anymore Frank that's not true probably true actually my mom's not there actually there's like three women in the office that probably know us really probably still there First and last baby first. I mean I don't know first and last miss RG is there ah yeah I think miss Watkins is still there hey Yeah, she's awesome um I think Miss Y is there Were you smart smart smart not saying her name?
Starting point is 00:44:29 Dormas is there. There's the one that we said don't the name of the one that we said don't say She came to our ready city show said hi to her. She did. She told me I look like a porn star Strange thing to hear from your fourth grade teacher. She's like you look like a porn star I was like that's exactly what I was going for. I was not going for that. I didn't know what else to say in that moment. Listen, just to kind of revert back, Greg is not listening to this,
Starting point is 00:44:53 but he will probably get a clip of this or tagged in something. Greg, I support you. I understand that you have a thriving business acumen that is trying to push the status quo forward and with synergy and understanding. It's not how you use synergy this time.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Understanding that a happy atmosphere creates a thriving atmosphere. Greg is just trying to do best by us. Greg also was like, we should get a sauna. And I was like, what a great idea. There isn't a shower and also I'm not getting a sauna. I mean, maybe a sauna I mean you want me to you want me to put a couple of wipes pipes pipes oh pipes you could do an electric so I'm not allowed legally to put a shower in there electric sauna
Starting point is 00:45:35 oh Frank I'm not worried about that you can it's the sauna would run on infrared regardless no you could do a steam one, or you could do an electric one. That would be a steam room. Yeah, no, there are steam powered, hot water powered saunas, and there's electric ones. Whatever, the point is you'd be sweating. I love that. And then no shower, that's my point. I mean, sometimes Joe, in business,
Starting point is 00:46:00 you need to get a little dirty. No, you don't have to use a sauna to go record a podcast How many of our ideas do you think would have just gotten better if they were discussed in a sauna zero? About that yes a lot of the things that I think about my life happened when I'm in a steam room or sauna Okay, that's just it's a it's a breeding ground for ingenuity Synergy we're not getting a sauna. Okay. That's not happening.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Okay. There was the basketball hoop, there was air hockey table. That's a good one too. I do like air hockey, but like, no one's gonna use it. I said we should get those like, tables that it's like half a pool table, and then it's a ping pong table, and then it's a shuffleboard table.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Like it's just a bunch of tables. But like, when is anyone gonna do this you never know Joey you do know though you never know I feel like everyone who owns a pool table or any of those types of tables they used it for like the first month that they had it and they never touch it again speak for yourself bitch no I'm speaking from experience when did you own a pool table I had a pool not a pool table? I had a pool. Not a pool table, Joey. I mean, it's still. As someone that lived in a building
Starting point is 00:47:09 that had a pool table readily accessible, I had the time of my life. I used it all the time. Several times a week. What, where'd you wear it? My first year college residence hall. And my second year. And then my fifth year.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Frank, you were 18 years old. And 19. And you had to congregate somewhere. I am 21, Joey. Yeah. And I would play play pool a lot did you have one of those gloves I didn't have one of those gloves it's gonna say may have prevented you from intermingling with the women you guys see my glove I did well for myself bitch oh man anyway I want to talk about a dream that I had Back dream dream Joe is back. Yeah dream Joe's back. This one wasn't a cool one. We should have a cool like
Starting point is 00:47:53 Like song way of like doing this like a segment like introducing a segment dream Joe's back dream Joe's back, but it should be the song Dream Weaver dream we've I don't know what's that song dream dream dream it was from like the 60s where all the songs were about like screwing underage people and like they were dude where they go listen to Dancing Queen was 17 that was in the 70s listen to like Chuck Berry and it's just like, I love you, you're so beautiful, my sweet 16 year old. Yeah dude, it is weird. Ew, Chuck.
Starting point is 00:48:30 It is weird. Fucking Chuck. It is, there is a lot of like, it's like, she's the girl of my dreams and I wanna sing to her and take her out for a milkshake and a egg cream and she's 14 years old. And it's just like, hey, Bobby Darin, cut it the fuck out. You know, an egg cream is disgusting.
Starting point is 00:48:48 I've never had one of you. My mom likes them, and I wanted to slap it out of her hand. Good thing you went with out of that hand, not slap your mother. I would never slap my mother, are you kidding me? I'm good, well good, good. I put a stick in my eye before I would do that. But I had a dream.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Dream, dream, dream. we're past the intro all right hey but it was a crazy dream sweet dreams are made of me who am I to disagree but I had a dream that I was at a restaurant and there was this weird waiter there and I'm not gonna lie who was the waiter I don't know it was a true do you think I'm lying no but your brain is incapable of making new faces so like whoever the waiter is is someone whose face you've seen you guys you guys ready this is what's like being with friends with Frankie you heard that one day didn't look it up
Starting point is 00:49:47 No, I have looked it up. I have looked it up Is it true? I I all I've also heard that but I don't I don't know. Are you attacking then? Yeah, because I don't know to be true. You're sitting over there like your Bobby dream No, I I have I have I have looked into it more to the point. I have Confidence that it is true. Whatever. Trust the guy in a Bucky's jersey. You can't...
Starting point is 00:50:10 Come on. Yeah, but you can't like... I've heard it too. You can't create a face in a dream. It has to be a face you've seen before. But it could have been a face that you've seen in passing. That's what I've heard. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:50:20 I'm not saying like it's someone in your life that like you remember. You asked me who it is. I'm like, I don't know. You said, that's not true. I was like, I'm not saying like it's someone in your life that like you remember. But I literally, you asked me who it is. I'm like, I don't know. You said, that's not true. I was like, I don't know. But it was this very blonde guy. Like he had like platinum blonde hair. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:33 And he was weird looking. So you're having dreams about Aryans. Continue. So he, I'm at a dinner, I guess, but there's a bunch of people there. There's like maybe five people, but there's a bunch of people there. There's like maybe five people, but I don't remember who was there. And the waiter comes over and he like hands me my food
Starting point is 00:50:51 and then he gets down and kisses me on my hip. Oh, oh. Like it was, but my hip was like exposed. What? Was I wearing low rise jeans? What the hell? I don't know what I was wearing, but my hip was exposed and this guy smooched it.
Starting point is 00:51:06 He was like, and I flipped. I was like, I was like, what the fuck are you doing? I will say this, hold on. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And he gets up and he's like, and he's just looking at me like this, like I like it. I was like, yo, get the fuck out of here. Oh, and then he turned kind of sinister.
Starting point is 00:51:22 And holy shit. And then he looks at me and he goes you look terrified and I got out of my chair and I got in his face and I was like where? get the fuck out of here oh I thought I thought you meant like where are you gonna kiss me next
Starting point is 00:51:38 heh what's next? I'm gonna go as far as to say this kissing on the Hip kiss my hip way more sexual than any other kissing mouth penis and Frank come on neck Neck is the nape. Yeah. Yeah, what the hell is that nape of the neck? Isn't it just the neck? Yeah, you know
Starting point is 00:52:03 But just chess is chess. I've already named five the neck isn't it just the neck baby yeah you know but chest chest is chest I've already named five but like hip is crazy what are you wearing are you wearing like a crop top and low-rise jeans and this guy was just able to just go I don't know but he kissed it and I was just like what what did you want you doing what did you order I don't remember any other detail you don't remember any other I remember the table, what do you order could have invited... Frank, if it was Afrodisiacs and I ordered only oysters. Maybe it was was it like one of those like themed restaurants where it's like Haha, the waiters are mean to you. It's just called like instead of like dick slash resort
Starting point is 00:52:38 It's called like we kiss your bare hip. Yeah. Wow. So that was the payoff for the joke was that okay good kiss your bare hip. Yeah. Wow. So that was the payoff for the joke was that. Okay, good. But yeah, I had a dream and I woke up and I was just like, did I just get S-A'd? I mean, in a way, yeah, you did.
Starting point is 00:52:55 I was very pissed off. I mean, yeah, I can understand that. And I didn't like that he was like, you look terrified. And I was like, I will fucking kill you. As someone who was on the receiving end of a, I told you, the guy in my legs And stuff like that. I was there for that. Yes, you were yeah, and you remember how mad I was yeah
Starting point is 00:53:10 It's an invasion of privacy, you know, so he's in your private. He was literally invading my private Yeah on top of the pants. Let's be very but that's great Did you hit him or like did you then wake up cuz you know, he walked away. He walked away I will I woke up shortly after that. Yeah, or maybe I didn't but that's great. Did you hit him or like did you then wake up cuz you know he walked away I will I woke up shortly after that. Yeah, or maybe I didn't but that's all I remember damn Yeah, it was weird. It was a very weird dream, dude. That's insane. Yeah, it was such a strange feeling What is that? You know the dream people are back and they're just like this means that you feel a total lack of control in your I Don't know. Yeah yeah and I was like watching Seinfeld before I went to sleep so I don't was it Jerry Seinfeld that kissed
Starting point is 00:53:50 your what's the deal with this cute looking hip low-rise jeans at a dinner come on What is that? I don't even know. We have more ads. Oh. We also have Kickoff, folks. Kickoff is great. There we go. Kickoff is a smart credit building app that's going to help you build your credit. Okay. So if you screw up your credit at some point in your life, which I'm not gonna say we all have but I have you know you put a
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Starting point is 00:57:06 That is Aura, A-U-R-A, frames.com. And the promo code is Basement. This deal is exclusive to our listeners who get yours now and time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply, okay? So $35 off with that code Basement at AuraFrames.com. Go give them a nice little gift, folks. Yeah, Aura Frames was kind enough to send us
Starting point is 00:57:24 and without exaggeration, easy and our favorite, like our favorite, Bec and I just sit there and just watch and it's incredible. Your background, your phone does that too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does. You're all about that interchanging photos. Let me tell you right now, and we have kids and see our kids all the time every day.
Starting point is 00:57:40 So imagine like the one one in your life doesn't get to see you or your friend, it's a great gift. There you go. Now they get to see them age. Don't do that. Sorry. Don't, why, like, I.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Give me a break, I got kissed on my hip last night. I can't. By a man. I stared at a picture of Ruby the other day and my eyes welled and I was just like, I need to get this off of my phone right now. I wanna see what's the picture right now. Is that your favorite?
Starting point is 00:58:04 Again, it's not the same picture. Is Rubu your favorite child? I don't have a favorite child, Joey. I tried to. No, I see what you're doing there. I tried to get ya. You know why you're doing that. You know the only people that ask that
Starting point is 00:58:13 is because they know they weren't their parents' favorite child. Well, that makes two of us. Uh. I was, you know what was funny is like, someone was like, recently, you were a middle child like you have middle child syndrome and I was what is the syndrome it's like a thing where you know I don't want to it's it's just one of those things where like people just make up things that are wrong about
Starting point is 00:58:35 someone she's like middle child syndrome but like oh dude that sounds exactly what something you would do middle child syndrome is a hypothetical condition that suggests middle children develop different personality traits in their siblings based on the idea that parents treat middle children differently. That said a whole lot of nothing. What are those characteristics? A high sense of independence.
Starting point is 00:58:56 I you know, you could say what you want about me, but I think I have that. Feelings of alienation, competitive, risk taking. Definitely not me. He's not a risk taker. I'm not a risk taker. Strong social skills, strong sharing behaviors, peacemakers, low self-esteem, flexible friendship skills. You are very flexible. You could get your leg all the way up. I don't think he meant physically flexible. Friendship skills, peacemakers. I'm a violent guy.
Starting point is 00:59:23 I think... Were you about to say I'm a violent guy. Were you about to say you're a violent guy? I was, but I'm not. Frank, you're definitely not. I'm not, I'm a big teddy bear. Yeah. But I think some of those I have, you know? And you're the baby of your family.
Starting point is 00:59:37 What does that mean, I'm desperate for attention or something? No, I think you were probably, there's all these dynamic things, it's like the oldest gets treated this way. The baby gets like to do whatever they want. Characteristics of the last born child. Well, there goes the backspace of the youngest child.
Starting point is 00:59:58 Independent, creative, social, attention seeking, fun loving, easy going. That's very good. Yeah, I think that's pretty on-brand. Charming, confident, manipul- What does it say, please? Manipulative. Did you hear how I tried to say-
Starting point is 01:00:17 Manipulative. Manipulative. Persistent, problem-solvers. Okay, this is just insane. This just sounds great. Mine is just like, you're an idiot. You're stupid. You're weak. And yours are like smart, kind, really easy going. Really super easy.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Well, the reason that I technically fall into the middle child syndrome is because my younger brothers are twins. So it's like they're treated as one. Right. You know, but there definitely was in our house, the dynamic of like my my my parents were stricter with my sister They lose really oh, yeah They loosened up on you know me in terms of their rules and then with my pair my brothers It was just like who gives a fuck they were so tired at that I mean, this is probably very obvious, but I have no idea how like we we all know that my parents love Tom Yeah, yeah, like the first child they love Tom. He's the golden child so like that we know that but like I think for the rest Of us they weren't really like super strict about most things. How were they with Shannon because she's the only girl
Starting point is 01:01:18 So I imagine I imagine your dad just being like you're not dating until you 98 No, my dad actually was not like that at all really okay but he like he would he know what you're right because I remember your sister's like boyfriends would be over friends would be they'd come over frequently yeah but my dad loved making fun of them though like he would give him a hard time just like he gave everyone a hard time Joey it's not like they were special everyone got made fun of by your father we would have dinner with my family and then like her boyfriend would be there and he'd be like, yeah You're gonna do the dishes tonight or I'd handle that. Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:50 Like you would have to help but he'd be like do the dishes Your dad's favorite thing. I remember when we'd come over for dinners is yelling at me every time I'd forget to not eat before grace Well, I would know yeah race and he'd be like And I'd be like do you remember grace? Yes, because Keith would rush through it. And he'd be like, ah, yeah, and I'd be like. Do you remember grace? Yes, because Keith would rush through it. I've heard this a million times. It would always be,
Starting point is 01:02:11 I guess it's the way that the cards fell. Keith was always the one to do it. Yeah, you just get, my dad would sit at the end of the table. He's never done it, but he would nominate everyone else. Do it, do grace. And it was always Keith and he'd go,
Starting point is 01:02:23 ah, bless the Lord for these I guess I'm about of even the party going so hard. Okay, come on We eat Lord for these thigh gifts. I'm about to receive in the bounty of Christ. Oh lord. Amen. That's a you're janky with it But you're there. I mean, I mean for someone that is never yeah, you know. That's so funny that you remember that. Yeah. Always Keith, always, always, always. Yeah, Keith, I was like, you're gonna get fucking all right.
Starting point is 01:02:51 All right. Eat. And then I could fucking just like swallow the rigatoni I have already chewed up in my mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was within fork range, so if I forgot. Dude, I remember when we started to wean that out, it felt so weird to be like, we could just eat.
Starting point is 01:03:05 I still have that in me. Really? When I'm at other people's houses, you wait? I don't like, I don't know. Like I don't know the right time to eat. Becca's family is big into prayer. Not prayer, but saying grace. And it's always like, yeah, oh, actual like southern style grace is like, you gotta give a speech.
Starting point is 01:03:26 So Becca's dad will like, you know, he'll just be like- He'll see that people are like getting- and there's kids involved, so he just does like a blanket grace over the house. He'll just be like, thank you for this food, we appreciate the blessings in our life. You know, like, one that I could get behind more than just- While people are still going? Like right before. Oh, could get behind while people are still gone like right before like He tends to wait but like he does like a blanket grace just like thank you. We appreciate it good get home safe Yeah, basically, you know tip you waitress. I don't know he doesn't do that
Starting point is 01:03:57 Yeah, you know, it's fine, you know, but like the ones where you guys were doing full-on prayers like well We just do that one. We would never do like well, you know, it's been a good year I would love to go to like a like a legit southern dinner where they're just like Lord, baby Jesus Do you have given us this bounty? You know and just see you my spell in a bucket of cream. They one of the mice drown two mice fell in a bucket of milk one mouse drowned the other became butter no it's cream and he turned that but he turned that cream in a butter and he walked out I wonder how long they get
Starting point is 01:04:37 there's someone watching this that is from the south and they're just like yeah so long I would if I get if I'm ever in the south and I have to like give it grace I'm doing the two mice in the south and I have to like give it grace, I'm doing the two mice and the bugger cream. I would love to like, you know how, remember in the first Borat movie, he goes to like an etiquette, not an etiquette school, but it's like a Southern gentleman thing
Starting point is 01:04:56 where he like goes to a dinner. Yeah. I would love to see that and us there, but like also we would be taking the piss out of it a little so maybe they'd get upset. I mean I'd be alright. I'd be upset and I wouldn't be okay for a couple reasons. I just remembered I also had a dream last night that I shaved my face and dude I looked
Starting point is 01:05:18 very bad. Yeah don't do it dude. I had like a goggle in there. A lot of your charm is your facial hair because we know how shitty your bare naked faces It's true Mine too. I'm not I'm not free of I didn't want to say it. I'll say it. I'm a naked-faced ugly idiot Wow
Starting point is 01:05:41 You crying No, but I so weird I just remember that too. I was like, what the fuck? Why would I do that? I would say like a year and change ago you committed to this whole like prominent mustache, scruffy, unkempt facial hair thing. It's worked wonders for you Joey, I have to say. You're doing well for yourself. You should be proud. I'm so proud of myself dude. For being unkept. I mean, I just think that like you know what works for you.
Starting point is 01:06:11 But I do miss, you know, double-breasted shirt, bare-faced Joe who took pictures. That was... Frank, you took the same ones. No, no Frankie no I did Frankie no I did not Frankie No, I did not show me one bitch Yeah, that's bad. It's not Tanktop, you know fucking snapback. Oh, you know the tank top says something like you know it's a fucking Tasmanian devil and and it says like devilish, and you're like That was you Frank you
Starting point is 01:06:51 Probably still have this in your 32 year old drawer you probably still have that t-shirt in there. I don't yes you do It's like all the monsters in space Jam put all my grand says slam magazine All my graphic tees into storage. So what about your, your gas station football jerseys? Where are those? Oh, Oh God. You're lucky it's Bucky's.
Starting point is 01:07:25 One day, one day, one, we're gonna physically assault each other on this show. Yeah. You know, just to see what happens. Maybe we should. Maybe we should do a boxing match. Maybe get us on the next card, Netflix. We'll take a couple million dollars. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:43 I'll take a dive if you need me to. Let me explain something very quickly. People were so up in arms about this Tyson versus Paul fight. Yeah. For the money he got, you could say whatever you wanted to about me on the internet. I am taking, you want me to take a dive? I'm diving.
Starting point is 01:08:01 I'm going head first into the canvas. I'll break my neck into the canvas. I don't know about that Yeah, I won't do that either I will if they're like hey You need to make him look good and you need to let this go the distance put on a show and he wins I will say No fucking problem. Yeah, no problem. Yeah Netflix Come on, babe. Let us let us yeah, I Think if you took all the people listen to our show the opportunity to pledge like a dollar or two...
Starting point is 01:08:31 To do what? To, like, we would be able to raise enough money to get you and I to box! We don't have to raise money for us to box. Joey! Oh. You're being a capitalistic pig. Damn right, bitch! Learn from the best. Yeah, exactly. You added that little thing.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Mirror, meet Frank, meet reflection. I don't know what I'm saying yet. But I tried to say... Mirror, meet Frank, meet reflection. Who are you? You project onto me, but it's really you talking to yourself because you think I'm you who's me. Listen, baby. Birds of a Feather. We flock together.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Flock. Make sure that the internet picks that L up. Really? Flock, not fuck each other. We're not fucking, alright? Birds of a Feather. What's that song? Birds of a Feather.
Starting point is 01:09:18 Leaves the world together with me. I don't know the words. I don't know. It's a Billie Eilish song, I think. It is a Billie Eilish song. Is it Billie Eilish? Yeah, it is. Oh, I don't... Yeah, it is't know the words. I don't know. It's a Billy. I was song. I think it is a Billy. I was song It's a Billy. I wish yeah, it is. Oh Yeah, it is Billy. I can't set me up like shot to Billy. I was yeah, friend of the show finish up Billy Billy come talk with us dude Billy goats gruff be cool as hell Billy goats gruff. Why'd I say that?
Starting point is 01:09:39 I don't know, but you might have just forget what he said You know to do with Yeah just forget what he said. Josh, you know what to do with what he said. I think that would be a fun episode. I think so too. So, no pressure. We'll sing. We'll sing songs. We'll sing. And we'll talk to her about like singing. Cause I'm sure that's what she wants to come on the show and talk about. Everyone talks to her about singing. We won't, how about this, Billy, we won't talk to you about singing at all. We'll talk to her about bugs. likes bugs the office. I don't know she wears a lot of the office. I love we I love the office I don't know where you wear outfits, and I'm like this person looks like they're into bugs
Starting point is 01:10:12 Yeah, we'll talk about bandanas. She wears bandanas sometimes how much how much how much can you say about bandanas? You give me the right amount of time bitch. I'll fill time with bandana talk. Okay. I guess it's gotta be careful About bandana talk, okay? I guess. We just gotta be careful. About bandana, oh yeah. We gotta be real careful. Be careful which one you're aware and talk about. Yeah, that too. Anyway, geez, right off target.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Off target, off track. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. I'll talk, I'll talk. What am I talking about? Are we done? Yeah, we're done, we're done. I'm done with this, I'm done with this. I'm losing my mind, I think if Alvarez 8085 on Twitter
Starting point is 01:10:49 See it was confidence with conviction If Alvarez 8085 on Twitter The Frank Alvarez and all other forms of social media follow the basement yard be like Billy Eilish who follows the show just on tick tock I think she still does but I'm not sure and also the Rizler Huh? He does what's up? Being excited about a billy eilish the Rizler we're connected we have rain We've got rain show check it out social media the basement yard on everything. Thank you for love and support Basement yard a patreon.com has a base. We know we love you. We appreciate you. We can't really love you.
Starting point is 01:11:26 We can't really love you. Yeah. You guys can go follow me at Joe Sinegal. Go follow the show the basement on a tick tock and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.

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