The Basement Yard - #488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

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Welcome back to the base Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. How's it going? Are you did you just wake up? What's going on? Honestly, I just got tired dude. You just got a tire. I just got tired one tired a single tired Do you do that thing where you're tired where you do this? Have you ever actually done this? Uh, I don't do this but but I do this. You do that? I like kind of rub it like a clit. Oh, Jesus Christ. I whispered it.

There was a sect of the internet right now that was just like, what do you think? You know, you know. Yeah, I see, yeah. But like, who, like does anyone actually wake up like a cartoon character just like, oh, yeah, no like yeah you know no one does that shit babies kind of do it babies they kind of go like this well

they rub their eyes but like I don't know baby babies or like what is the thing when people cry like way fucking dumbass bitches crying like that yeah I cry without my hands on my face do you cry like you make it a point to? No, I cry and whenever I start getting myself going bro, I'm crying at the drop of a hat lately Man wait till you have kids. I watched a movie that like Wasn't even sad. Yeah, I just Recently remember I told you I watch home alone. I was like shit shit, this almost got me. Dude, so Miles and I finally finished the Harry Potter watch along.

Okay. And this little guy. Did he cry? No, someone did. There were two people in the room. Miles didn't cry. Who did? I don't know.

Somebody figure this out. But like, not gonna spoil it for just in case because someone once was just like how dare you spoil Harry Potter 20 years old. Mm-hmm After everything that get that happens with Snape, yes, he goes pause it Explain that to me just so I make sure I understand I'm like Well Wait, you were explaining the plot and you cried? Well like, bro, I just watched everything that happens with Snape. Yeah.

The Pensive memory and everything. Right. And then Miles was like, I just want to make sure I understand what he said. And then you cried. And what happened? What did he say when you started crying? I didn't, I wasn't like bawling crying, but like I would be like. Choked.

So what happened? You know, like I would like pull it together and I slowed up the conversation did he say Kiki what are you doing he was just like I he was intently watching I think he's at an age now where he's not gonna point out me crying cuz it happens probably way too often but he was just like okay yeah alright I'm gonna stop asking okay Okay. You know, he was like, alright, whatever, watch the movie. Jeez. Put it back on! But like, at the end I was just like, it was power love, you know? Oh my god, Frank, pull it together. No, bitch. I feel things, bitch. You fucking try it. Bro, I'm mad sensitive,

but we're talking about a movie that you've seen maybe eight times. Doesn't matter. That's that speaks to the strength of the storytelling. Honestly, it was my favorite. And acting. Good acting. Oh my god. Good acting. All those people gotta stop dying from Harry Potter.

Anyway, we do have announcements. We have an announcement if you didn't hear already on the last episode. But we are coming to the UK. Do it. The boys are going across the pond. Do it, do it, do it. The boys are going across the pole Tickets are on sale right now at the base me are comm if you guys don't know here's where we're going March 25th

We're in Scotland do it That shoes gonna be great That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. My favorite thing that you do. Yeah. The 25th we're being in Glasgow in Scotland. The 27th we're gonna be in London. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. Oh yeah, you say it was Tuesday. Is it a Tuesday? I don't know. Oh, okay. No, it's a Thursday. Oh. Thursday. And, Thursday. And then on the 31st we're gonna be in Dublin. Yeah

Can't do the Irish. I mean, I think I could if ask me to talk about it like I'm fixing wood or something Hey, can you talk about it like you're fixing wood? Well, this is a piece of oak. Nope. See I lost it I mean, it's not bad. Well, it's oak. It's very not no no I had it we just did an episode a couple weeks ago and I had it. I mean it's not bad. Well, it's oak. It's very not no no I had it we just did an episode a couple weeks ago, and I had it yeah You did now I fucked up, but anyway. We're going across the pond. We're gonna be in the UK So we're going to Glasgow London and Dublin for the Dublin show There may be a second show if that show sells well the same thing for the London show the London show sells out pretty quickly We'll add a second show But yeah for that's so that's what it is right The boys are gonna come and do a couple shows over there

in the Uke. But yeah, pop out. Tickets are available at thebasemeyard.com if they're not sold out already, which I hope they are. We hope people like us. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. We're gonna go there, have some food. What are we gonna eat it's the food over there notoriously is not very good that's what people have said I mean I didn't really have an issue with the food when I was there I'm crushing beans on toast I'm letting you know right it's good dude I'm you know how I feel about beans you love beans beans bangers put them anywhere you want bangers and mash bangers wait what's the I thought the bangers were the mash. No. What's bangers?

Bangers are sausage, babe. You bang the sausage. Wait, why do they call them bangers? Because of banging? Like banging sausages? Do I look it up or do you look it up? I don't think either of us look it up. I think we just guessed. That's probably a very scary Google search.

Why do they call sausage bangers? Why do they call it bang Bangers and mush. Bangers. Bangers. Why do they call it bangers? I imagine because they like you bite into them and the flavor bangs your fucking throat Definitely. That's not a good way to say it. There's a thousand infinite other ways. Honestly, yeah infinite several several billion Yeah, but we're excited to be there We're gonna try and like see the sights Frank's never been to the UK oh I recently just went to Scotland I've never been to London never been to Dublin two places that I've wanted to go in my life so really cool that the first

time is gonna be these shows it's uh it's gonna be something we might be a little sleepy getting over there cuz a jet lag jet lag yeah jet lag don't it jet lag what's that I don't know I keep saying it yeah go check it out the basement air dark ah man ah what's that oh can we go can we can we see platform nine and three quarters um it isn't a train set at King's Cross in it it yeah is it I don't know where it is it has to be in London. It has to Okay, I mean might as well start right? What do you mean? Oh, we go do yeah

We go there's probably a bunch of like Americans that show up and they're like, oh here's where drive your car Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, absolutely a hundred percent. Will you take a cart and drive it into the wall? They I think the thing that they have there is it like they have a cart half Pushing like sticking out the wall and you can like that's they have there is that like they have a cart half pushing like sticking out the wall and you can like. That's so cool. Pretend that you're pushing it and stuff like that. Yeah.

There's gonna, we're gonna be probably annoying Americans. Hell yeah. Of those places. Yeah I don't think we have a choice. Um, maybe. Yeah I don't know. It's just in our blood. I mean it is just who we are baby.

It's coursing. As a peep. Through our veins heap through our veins through our veins so They thought it it thought yeah. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna be really excited, bro. I hope you do the entire Scotland show on the accent that'd be great. Uh, I don't know dude We get to interact with the Scottish crowd and hear their voices Yeah, what do you think their laughs sound different too? Cuz like here in America their laughs are like ha ha ha ha Oh, they're like In London they're like oh, ho ho this is Donnie this is nice. This is nice. Yeah, we're all bunk yeah oh

Man, they're not gonna be happy with us probably they're just gonna be like what are you guys mostly you I would say no Do you remember I can't do the accent oh yeah, yeah We talked about the royal wedding. Yeah, dad. I Don't think anyone's fucking with this guy Who is the guy King? With his sausage fingers. We probably should not talk about the king dad. Look come get us. What's he gonna do? Probably several there's a several hundred years of history that suggests he might do something Yeah, he's gonna send his army of horses at us? Come on. You wouldn't be shook if you just woke up and there were several horses running in your direction?

I'd be terrified. With lances and swords and all that? You'd be scared. I'm re-watching Game of Thrones and it's honestly crazy that like people on horseback could kill, like you know what I'm saying how hard is it to kill a guy on a horse why is that hard because it's happening very fast yeah but just cut the horse's leg like now I feel like I think that's what you I think that's what they do in the show is like they like take the horses out and then like isn't that what happens in Battle of the Bastards yeah they like cut a horse's leg and he comes down and he fucking, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, that show I've seen it once, never need to see it again. I'm so okay. Unbelievable show. Yeah, I mean, it's, I think it definitely is a great show. It is not one of the greatest shows of all time. Easily. I stand by that. Easily.

Not even top five. Easily, that's insane. No. Um, I'm not even gonna ask you top five cuz I don't care But the reason that you love it so much is because of the production value What no it isn't? How do you do something like that? What goes through your head that you you're just so used to saying things that you're like, here's why you like I the way

Have I ever said that so why do you like it the storylines Joey? Tell me one storyline Frank. Oh you like watching brothers and sisters fucking little bop bing bang bing bang bangers and mash Yeah, that's not why I think it's such an incredible show because there's like nine different storylines going on the production value That's not production value dumbass the fact that they can interweave all right the writing you're a big fan of George R. R. Martin Frank that's the reason why anyone likes any show and the acting is great acting's good I will say that it is good I think that a lot of people they see that show that show set a benchmark for TV after that now shows are 50 million dollar projects and each episode is a million dollars and not severance

Which is coming out has a hundred rotten tomatoes. You're saying oh, I haven't seen any of severance. It's good It's good. It's I don't want to like act like it's like insane, but the reviews for the second Season which is coming out like next week or some shit are like a hundred like it's getting like praise like well one of The best seasons of a show ever which is like I think it's a good show okay, but if this and second season is like great then it definitely could be like yo, okay? Alright, we're not gonna talk about shows the whole time anyway. We could baby. We can sit here and talk shows all day I'm a show. I'm a show talker. I know I love shows as well Here's a more basement yard topic we We got more. You brought this up to me. Mm-hmm.

And all I did was write down what you said. Yeah. And it says, son of OnlyFans star explains why he takes pics for his mother. Yeah. Now it's your turn to tell me what? Um, or I can just sit here and hold out and make you squirm like a little piggy. I don't even know how to respond you don't respond to it That's that's how you cuz you're cuz I'm gonna put a ball gag in your mouth you dirty little what's going on with you over there?

Kid woke up horny on the other horny side of the no no no no I'm not horny right now No, I'm not horny right now. No, no apparently there is a an OnlyFans creator or content creator. What do you call them? Creators. Models? Creators. Creators? That's what they call them. Okay, who's they?

The Earth. Gotcha, okay. OnlyFans creators. Because OnlyFans is a product of the Earth. Correct. Yeah, but apparently, I don't know what her name is, I have the information on my phone but I don't care to look at it. Her son is the one that is the photographer behind the...

There goes that photographer again. Come on. Behind the camera taking the pictures and presumably videos for his mother. Is she... wait. I haven't seen... I don't know... Is this not against the law is there not a little like hey why why would I mean I I think it should be but

why would it be because that's like child abuse he's old he's of age I think he's in his like 20s okay then he should be in jail or they should lock them both up separately so yeah together that you never know what would happen fuck No, but so people said like that's weird weird. It's disgusting. We agree right of course if your mom Frank Okay, don't finish your stuff. Okay, but if your mom fuck you Okay, but you ever know I'm saying like if you don't point at me Frankie. Yeah, sorry your mom Was asking you,

Hey, I'm gonna take these photos. Or I'm gonna, I need you to take these photos. I'd be pissed if you told me in the first place. Right. Do it on your own time. Right. I don't need to know about this. I understand now is a different place than the world.

We're in a different place in the world now. Oh, we're not that different place. That you're gonna be taking naked pictures for your mother. Bro, could you imagine? No. Never in a million years? I don't care how close I am with my parents or my children like that it ain't happening I wouldn't do that for my friend

Joey what Joey you what I? Don't like that you turn towards me If I called you and said yo I don't like that you turned towards me. If I called you and said, yo, take pictures of my dong, dong sack butt, I'm throwing it online. You're not going to be like, I support you. That's not what you're asking. And take the pictures for you?

I am not taking the photos. Why? I don't need to. Just to be clear, I'm not taking them for you either. But I would expect more, I would expect more respect than I give you. Respect? Then I give you I'm not taking the photos I'd be like here's a link to a tripod set it up with a timer but I'm not gonna be there five inches from your heesh-esh taking photos of it. I'll show you a tripod. Yeah, I bet you won't. No, I, that's bananas though.

It is, it is ridiculous. There's no, there's no excuse for taking naked photos of your mom. So someone asked him like, hey, what the hell? Sure. Yeah. Fair question. I just, you know, I have a question.

Um, what the, yes. My first question is what the fuck? Man in the back, man in the black shirt. I Already did the thing. Oh do it again. Well, let's get ready To be like, all right. We'll be fielding some questions. Hold on one second. I have a question Okay. Yes, man in the black shirt. Go ahead. What the fuck is going on? What the shithole so he said he was just like I it's just it's not weird for me because I don't get horny It's I consider it work and

Then after when he goes oh and also cuz it's my mom I'm not attracted. Yeah, see you kicked that one under the dirt What am I saying kicked it under the rubber you you are me I am you mean you and me What? Yeah, no, that's disgusting. You can't be doing that What? Uh, yeah, no, that's disgusting. You can't be doing that. Uh, ill. That should be illegal though.

You shouldn't, you shouldn't. The first part should be like, yeah, I, I, it is, I'm not attracted to my mom. Let's make that very clear. Like burying that underneath the first part is the weird, you know, like they're not beating the allegations there. How do you as a parent approach your son like with this. Hey, can you take some pictures for me? I imagine, all right, let's role play here.

I'm daddy, you're my son. Okay, you ready? You're not daddy, let's get that clear. All right, what do you call your dad? Dad. Okay, I am daddy. Let's get that clear. All right, all right. What do you call your dad? Dad. Okay, I am daddy. Go ahead. Go ahead.

No. Oh, it's on me to initiate. I'm sitting in my room. Hey, hey sport. Need to talk to you for a sec. You mind coming and sit down? Right here on Papa's lap. I am 24.

Okay, you're 24 again. In this situation. All right, all right, no, I'm joking around. Just joshing you, ha ha. Skirt. Okay. Skirt? How would you bring that up?

I would say, hey listen, I have to take some pictures for work, but I really don't have anyone to take. I don't have a tripod and I need to get them done soon. Do you mind helping me out? What kind of pictures? Stuff for work, nothing crazy. What am I taking pictures of?

Me, it's just me. Oh, just like a headshot? Nope, a little more, like head to toe. Full body shot. Yes, yeah, yeah, only like three or four of them, nothing crazy. Okay. All right

What are you doing? What are you doing? Um, what? What are you? Why are you taking your shirt off? Oh, well, I'm not gonna be wearing this for my My my are you gonna wear a different shirt? Look what I'm wearing. You're gonna wear a different shirt. I'm sorry What'd you say? I couldn't hear you. You're gonna wear a different shirt. No You're gonna be a shirtless. What are you doing? What are you doing? I just I'm not I'm not I can't wear I just said I can't wear this for what are you? Where why are you taking your clothes? Quick? We gotta get this done. I'm not taking underwear photos of you dad And your pants are coming off. Are you changing your pants? Why are you taking your pants off? Are you changing your pants? Why are you taking your pants off like that?

Shaking your butt off? I just, I can't wear this. You understand. I don't understand. Let's get that clear. Let's get this done. I gotta send this. Do you and your underwear?

It's already like midnight in Tokyo, come on. You're selling these to Japanese people? So that's how you do it. Yeah, but are you naked now? Yeah. Oh I'm running out of it. Really? Yeah no.

Just just just just just quick I already locked the doors just stay. You locked the door? Yeah yeah yeah you're not gonna eat just take the pictures. I'm not gonna eat? Just take the pictures or the shackles go back on. What? It's weird. That's what we're joking about.

Haha jokes. It's weird. Yeah no that's a little crazy This dude should be questioned by the FBI Maybe oh, I don't think it's in this country. I Think it's I think it was in Brazil Brazil. Yeah So what how would they sound if the mom asked?

No idea. I don't know how to eat you too cool they sound if the mom asked. I don't know how to eat chuchu cool. Okay. No, I don't know what that means. It means like a little cutie boy. Does it? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I remember that. You remember that? Yeah. I did. Who called you a little cutie boy? I dated a Brazilian girl and she called you that. She called me to chuchu cool.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What does that mean? Little cutie-boy? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't get any nicknames growing up, so... Yeah, you've never, like...

Got nicknames? Never got nicknames. No. Like, no one called you, like, anything. You called yourself a lot of things. Agent Zero, you called yourself... Let's see, what else? You called yourself a proud boy for years. Oh that's alright you're right you're still calling yourself that. Right yeah okay. Yeah that's it. If you could honestly go back to when you were a teenager

if you could have a nickname what would it be I remember actually this is gonna sound so fucking stupid yeah yeah well that's the show welcome back to the basement yard where everything sounds really stupid I maybe I don't know if you felt this way too but like you wanted a cool nickname hell yeah that was just like not your name at all hell yeah and I remember watching the Friday Night Lights movie What was his name and and one of the running the running back who gets hurt his name his nickname was booby booby miles And I was like damn I wish people you want people to call you booby because you were so boobies booby booby yeah, why?

That was his nickname, and it just felt mad sure that's all like that's like... I wanted to be Booby. I don't think that I ever like brought that to our friend group and be like, yo how about Booby? Like I never did that but I was like hoping that you guys would. Like just out of nowhere. You know we would accidentally call you Booby and you're just like Yup! Yes! Y'all huh? Yeah!

Say my name again! I was like I wanted my nickname to be Booby for some reason. Booby, that's a weird one. I't think yeah I mean you know our our nicknames were Joey and Frankie yeah like that was the closest thing I don't think I had like there was one person that we knew that called me facts who? Chelsea. I was like, I know it was back in the day, but don't say that. I know. Well, there was someone that we knew that, that, that you'd some bad words. Wait, Chelsea called you facts?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yikes. I mean, I didn't hate it. I know you loved it. We went to the Splash Splash and Frank He got a tattoo across his chest and said FAX. It was Fax2. It was squared. Fax squared. Which is so many faxes. We had that was our that was our tag that we never once tagged

anywhere ever ever you were Joe Mud I was faxed too. There was other kids in our class that like wanted one. I remember once my brother Nick was like, yo, like do you think you can come up with a cool nickname for me? And there were these toys that came out at the time and they were like little like, they looked like stick figures but they were made of blocks and you could like change the way that oh, yeah You know you remember what I'm talking about weren't those like always in like dentist office or some shit No, kind of but like you can change the way that they were so you could stack them in like a building Okay, okay, and they were called knickknacks. So you called your brother Nick. So my brother was knickknack

And then yeah, I can't remember anyone else. Yeah, I, I remember my sister when she was like an eighth grade maybe. She was dating some kid and I remember sitting outside on my stoop and his name was Joseph, right? Or maybe this was a little older. But I remember sitting outside on the stoop, and this was like before he knew my name, and she was standing there with him, and I think I was asking him, like, oh, why do you go by Joseph? Because to me, that was like something

my grandma would call me, Joseph. And he's like, because the nickname Joey is gay. And that's what everyone called me. And I literally was like, hmm. And I never said a word. But you know what's funny is he obviously knew your name. No, I don't think he knew my name. He was dating your sister.

I'm sure that there was some conversation about it. I have a little brother. Bro, they're in eighth grade. They don't talk about like, so what do you do for work? I mean, they just enjoy chocolate milk or whatever the fuck. Maybe I'm underestimating how old eighth grade is. Definitely. Yeah, they talk about their siblings and stuff.

See, so he was pressing me. He was definitely, it was like a moment of like, I'm the man of this house now. Got it. Because Thomas was probably in college at that point, right? Yeah. Or like about to go, so he had to re-establish himself, or establish himself in your home. Right. As like, I'm the alpha male here.

You know, Keith was on RuneScape, you know, he was busy. So he was like, yo, you got a gay nickname, Joey. Yeah, just to let you know, like I am, like you changed it, I'm the only Joe in this house now. I didn't really see it that way. I thought that he just didn't know my name is Joey. So I was just like, oh yeah. That was a power play.

Yeah, that's crazy, yo, that is gay. Oh, you know what, I had a code name, I guess not a nickname. I think I've told you this you're not a secret agent Well, it was name. No, it was when I was in sixth grade my sixth grade girlfriend I would write like notes back and forth, but and your name was Chester Chester White is same ever. I don't know. I think we did you pick Chester. Maybe I'm not sure it's quite possible What was her name? I can't remember off the top of my head. Damn it. Yeah, I know but you know, like I was Chester I forgot what was the reason for having a code name? Well, you pass notes explaining how much you liked someone and it would be forget about it

If a teacher caught that that you know, they do one of the whole like let's read this out loud That happened to me miss Barberio's class. I was passing a note to Jamie and she took it She didn't read it in front of the class But she read it and she was just like smiling that she gave back to me and I was like that what did it say? I Don't know it was something about I may have like passed it through you I was so that was the thing that was so difficult for me is like I was the intermediary between both of you and I would be Like oh, what is it you guys like each other cool?

Yeah, no one fucking No one wrote for me in fifth grade dog first of all I have a ride or die like you did in fifth grade No one fucking I have a ride or die either. Yeah, she didn't ride or die for you That's what I'm saying, you know, but then you made out with her Well, you know I Will never forget that Forget it The whole part of it like you finding out that I will never forget cuz you were fighting out

I told you yeah, but you were not happy Investigation no, but like I just I'll never forget telling you that in your response. You were not happy. Yeah. No, it was not good but I'll never forget that it is seared into my brain Yeah, but I don't even know why I brother Oh cuz the passing notes but I was in Miss Barrios class and You remember they made us like walk down the hall back. Oh, this is what high school This is what sixth grade is gonna be you walk 20 feet to your next class. Yeah. Well, I think cuz they had

They had like switched up for math to put like the kids that are strongest at math all together and then weakest together. And you know, and that's why we were in, we were in the same math class and we were both good at math. Back then. Back then. I was always great at math.

Yeah. But believe it or not, me and Frankie were good students. Yeah. We're only dumb now. We're academically probably still very gifted. Yeah. And gifted in other ways. Not wieners I'm saying like you know like well. Why did you say wieners? Because some people say like he's got gifts he's gifted you know well endowed. Oh I don't know why I went to wieners first I'll be be honest. Okay, maybe therapy look into that But yes, miss Barbera's class. I was passing a note and then she took it and she saw I was like fuck

I also very vividly remember that day because that was the day the Mount Carmel dance and Frankie I remember it. I remember that dance too and you it was like you and Jamie were gonna dance together. We didn't I know But everyone was just like, oh shit, what's gonna happen? And I remember, cause where was that school? It's on like 30th Avenue. If you had asked me, that school was in upstate New York. Bro, dead ass. Hours away.

Like anywhere that I had to get in a car, I'm like, oh my God, we might be in Pennsylvania. Yeah, yeah. Swear to God, I thought the I'd be in Pennsylvania. Yeah. Yeah swear to god I thought the exact same thing crazy. Yeah, but I remember I remember going and being like damn like everyone's so tall Cuz we were like young Yeah, cuz they and they but they were only like three years older than us Like it's not like they were like like those three years are insane

Yeah, like for growth of like your actual physical and you would see them I remember there was a kid in our neighborhood that I think was only a year older than us But I saw him dancing with a girl and I was just like that's what I'm gonna be like when I grow up like that Like that like as a kid you see people like older people doing stuff and yours like whoa That's so fire. That's so sick like kissing girls is so this is what the future holds Yeah, maybe even less than a year old like a calendar year like six months Yeah, that was dancing with girls was so bro. Do you remember? Alex the girls birthday at her crib and in the basement they put on like Spanish music and I was like fuck

Yeah, I was mad scared. I was I remember around that time is when yeah by Usher came out and like that was the thing that like people just threw that on repeat and it would be like fucking like Ludicrous yeah by Usher yeah and like That shit came on like I was scared man, and they shut all the lights off yes And there was like a light machine yes I like did like multicolor lights And I remember it was her birthday, and we went into her parents like let us be down there just chillin. Yeah like Crazy put on put on these lights put on music

And I was already mad nervous to like dance with girls or do whatever and then fucking daddy He came on and almost had a fucking panic attack And I was like if someone puts their ass on me. I'm literally Joey heard a romp a one time and it was very Like no No, I hear you. I and I think you danced with someone that day and I was like damn good for Frank Listen, man, I was I was the mentality of like just go for it, dude You know like I we did a 180 in so many ways like that time. I was like life is short

I was 12 right let's Sure, let's just do it now live for the moment now. I'm like let's take very calculated risk right making sure you know yeah I Remember yo, that's so funny. Yo dancing with girls that was such a kissing them was like I So funny, you know, dancing with girls. That was such a kissing them was like, I don't know if I've ever felt panic like that. I really like, and I am not looking forward to that part of parenting, but like, I wonder what, this is a weird way to say this, but like,

that was like a, like a rite of passage when we were kids. Like our parents kind of let us experience life and didn't really talk to us about stuff like that. At all. My parents did not. Me neither. Your parents did not. But like I see the relationship

that Becca and I have with Miles and it is very heavily based off of communication and like how are you feeling and understanding and like I have a crush on this person, blah, blah, blah. So like what is that going to be like when our kids at that age are like, I have a crush on a boy. Like bro, Ruby comes home, tells me she has a crush on them like bro Ruby comes home tells

him she has a crush on a boy I I'm not kidding I might kill a child no you just gotta do a background check not hit not her him or her whatever she's into right but like that is gonna be so weird to navigate I'm gonna I'll tell you this we're gonna have a lot of material for this show boy yeah yeah because there's my god dude can you imagine I can't I like ah yeah teenagers oh god and you know what you know what will be nice though I like my kids are at a couple years older than your kids because you have zero yeah so like I'll be able to like walk you through it I'll be big bro again what was the first time? Say those ads. Go ahead read those ads. We have

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We are so absolutely appreciative and in love with you guys for helping us do this and live our dreams. So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard, sign up for that first tier and you get weekly episodes one week in advance. And then second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So guess what? You double the amount of content that you get from the boys every single week. That's right. Basement yard on Mondays and then exclusive episodes on Friday

So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard. You guys got us to over 33,000 paid patrons Unbelievable can't it's truly truly remarkable and we are so thankful and appreciative And even if you can't be a patron, we love you and we are so appreciative and excited for 2025 So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard. Joey, back to you. Joey, back to you. I think that just kind of coming back to the conversation like we were having before,

there is a lot about parenting that like, I remember my parents saying to me like, wait until you got to deal with this. And now I am terrified of it. You know, like. Oh, like teenagers? Yeah, dude. Like, bro, they're nuts.

Kids are nuts. Even when they're not, they're crazy, you know? If they're not nuts, they're crazy. That's what I'm saying. Like, if they're like, and then like, if they're not crazy, you're like, wait a sec. What is wrong with my kid? Like, why aren't they a little nuts?

You know? So like, I don't know. Do I want my kids to be crazy or nuts? I don't know. I think that you are maybe causing yourself some anxiety there with judging by the sentence that you just gave. No, I'm excited, but also I'm cool.

It's fine, it's fine. I'm a cool dad. Yeah. You know, I am gonna do my best, my goddamn best to embarrass these kids though. You're one of those dads. I'm gonna have to be hey kids No, no, no, no, no, but like they're having their friends over music while you pick them up from high school Oh, yeah, when they're they're having their friends over door open or I'll rip it off its hinges You know, oh like don't close the door. Yeah. Hell. Yeah. What are you guys talking about? No phones. Let me see it

No phones. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like you have because you have to establish Like everyone always thinks you're gonna be a cool dad, you know cool dad. Yeah, I'm chill You know like yeah, and then these kids come home with you know, and they're engaged to be married at 18 years old You know I'm saying wouldn't that be a good thing? And they're engaged to be married at 18 years old you know I'm saying wouldn't that be a good thing Well if you went home at 18 Mom dad oh and like not like I married this person in Vegas or something yep. Yeah, no that's insane Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I thought you meant I don't know I don't really really know. I was picturing like, oh,

because our parents got married young. Who was like your childhood crush at 18? Not childhood, but like celebrity crush at 18? Maybe like Katy Perry or something? Yeah, okay. Yeah. Which who I would have married at 18. So if Katy Perry has said,

don't think about it too much, but you just turned 18 and I wanna marry you. Yeah. I wouldn't have thought about why that's weird until probably today. But yeah. Yeah. I probably would.

I remember being upset that Katy Perry didn't know I existed. I'm saying didn't know like she does now. Yeah. She doesn't. There's a better chance that she knows you now. Sure. You know.

Oh, there was a less than zero at 18 Like now she might have just been like who's a loser that Exactly. You know what I'm saying? That's what I mean. So like maybe she saw my face at some point But I did have a huge crush on her. I mean, but she's also with California girls Katy Perry. Whoa. She's with Orlando Bloom So I know I can't she she'd see your face and just go fuck this guy. You know, she's with Legolas Yeah, it's true. You know unless I beat him in a sword fight. Well, he was never great with swords, obviously He was great with he was good with his sword, but his not Legolas, bro I'm talking about Pirates of the Caribbean now. Oh

Will Turner yes, we'll turn it well turn it. Yeah, he was not great with his sword either He was just always in the right place in the right time. No, apparently he was good with his sword He was like a blacksmith or whatever. Yeah, that's mean you're great with his sword either. He was just always in the right place in the right time. No, apparently he was good with his sword. He was like a blacksmith or whatever. Yeah, that doesn't mean you're good with a sword. It means you're good at making them. He was good with a sword though. Like him as an individual? That was a whole thing. That whole scene of him fighting Jack Sparrow with the sword and Jack Sparrow was like, oh this guy's pretty good. That's like part of the movie.

Really? I don't remember that. I haven't watched that. I would like to re-watch that. I haven't watched those in a while, but I remember a lot of them being dog shit. No! Some of them got a little too was great. First one was good. Second one was good And then they after that they started going I feel like I fell off with Jack Sparrow wakes up in like the middle of like nowhere That's like everyone. That's like a third one. He gets swallowed by the crack and remember and the second one I Don't remember his dad has barnacles on his face. Yeah, she was cool ugly though. Yeah. Well duh

If you could pick to be in like the Lord of the Rings franchise Hear me out go you can exist as a character and not like a loser character a cool one a cool character in either Lord of the Rings Pirates of the Caribbean, I think this my next is gonna easily give you an answer, but whatever Or I'll do this Star Wars Lord of the Rings Pirates of the Caribbean because if I if I ask Harry Potter I know exactly where you're going Harry fucking Potter, but I'm not I'm not asking Harry Potter because we know you'd be a Hufflepuff Yeah, right

You'd be a Hufflepuff. No, no the hats gotta be it didn't fit where I know I'd be I'd probably be a Slytherin because I'm cunning Frank you Wish you were a Slytherin bitch wish bitch Go on go on Pottermore right now. Let's figure this the fuck out go on Pottermore Pottermore You can get your Patronus. You can get your house What does that mean? Wait? Hold on? Is this a website? Yeah, it's run by the Harry Potter people Pottermore, babe So you're just putting in names well like they'll ask you'll take a quiz and it'll be like this is what your patronus animal will be This is what your house would be

Pottermore find out house be this is what your house would be potter more find out house the official Hogwarts house on yeah okay yeah but get sorted now get sorted but start the sorting okay all right okay okay all right I'm doing me all right when's your birthday we know your birthday oh it's it's month first. Oh, wait, that's how it works normally. I thought they were doing this. I know, I thought they were stupid. OK, email address. One of these, one of these.

You can put mine in if you don't feel, you know. Just do it. But you didn't answer. As you're filling this stuff out, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Star Wars? It's gonna be very difficult not to like... That's tough, right? Isn't Duffy dumb?

Maybe Star Wars. Really? You can travel to different planets? Terrifying. Yeah, but not if you live in the world. Yeah, but then you're also under the regime of like space Hitler. Regime, yeah. Yeah. So maybe Pir live in the world. Yeah, but then you're also under the regime of like space Hitler regime. Yeah So maybe maybe parts of the Caribbean. Yeah, like it's warm because it's just it's just like it's not fantastical

I mean there is some fantastical stuff. Why are you saying fantastical? Like it's like Lord of the Rings. There's orcs and wizards. Here we go. All right Dawn or dusk? You are more, probably I would say you are a dusk guy. No, I like the dawn. Really? The dawn of a new day, dawn. Okay, all right, okay.

Early morning. Okay, okay, okay. Boom, what are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts? What are the options? All about magical creatures and how to befriend and care for them. You do like that one, you like animals.

Flying in a broomstick? That's a good one, too Apparation and I'm not even gonna read that too many shades shins Being able to materialize and de materialize that no secrets about the castle kind of cool. That is cool, but I Transfiguration turning one object into another you know we know what that means Joey You don't need to like read that part of it hexes and jinxes. Ooh Every area of magic I can I think you would want to be a well-rounded man I want to be well-rounded well-rounded. Yeah choose a category to continue

Cats toads or owls cats fuck you toads. Ew owls. I'll take the outside. Yeah, Joey's an owl guy Which pet will you choose barn owl tawny owl? Snowy owl snowy owl, screech owl, brown owl. Wait, hold on. Brown owl is pretty cool and for diversity reasons you should pick that. If you don't you are a racist. But I like the tawny. He's brown though. Oh, there are pictures of these owls? Yeah, yeah. That's a tawny owl.

Oh, that one looks smart. That looks like it's going to feed. Look at that one though! The brown one looks like it will be a professor. This one looks like the one that ate all the the tawny one looks like it would be like a like a professor and he would say something like you know like we are doomed to repeat history if we do not acknowledge it. Yeah, okay which of the following do you find most difficult to deal with? Loneliness. You like you like being alone sometimes but like too much loneliness boredom hunger being ignored cold what are those that you can't deal with these like to find the most difficult to deal with I'll say boredom well Joey lives in a 40 million dollar mansion so when you're cold you

just go into your hot tub your swimming pool size hot tub which road tempts you the most? temps the twisting leaf-strewn path through the woods? these people don't realize i'm a puss the wide sunny grassy lane that sounds beautiful you do like woods though yeah but not dark woods

did it say dark or did it say winding? dark and whiny windy twisty leaf strewn path through the woods. Oh, okay. It doesn't say dark. It doesn't look dark The narrow dark lantern it lit alley No, absolutely not. We grew up in enough alleys. We're okay the cobbled street lined with ancient buildings That one's kind of cool. I'm gonna say the wide sunny grassy lane. That sounds alright Yeah buildings. That one's kind of cool. I'm gonna say the wide sunny grassy lane. That sounds about right. Yeah. Once every century the flutterbee bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. That's mad words I can't. If it lured you it would smell of... okay so what would lure me? The scent. Money. The sea. I do like the smell of money. Attention.

And books. And oh yes books. So if books is an answer I'm taking that. This one I do like the smell of money attention and and books and oh Yes smell books. So if books is an answer, I'm taking that this one says the sea who is tempted by that What a see the sea smells good the salty air. I don't hate that. Am I a fish home? That's that is subjective home smell is subjective a crackling log fire Love that you like the smell of fire though, or do you just like the sound of of it I think that no I like both I like the smell okay all right good fresh parchment that's book baby that's book but as close to book as you're getting but it's parchment I think of scrolls yeah what do you think books were made of back then Joey no I'm gonna say a crackling log fire okay

whatever you want after you have died what would you most like people to do when they hear your name ask for more stories about your adventures? Miss you, but smile oh Think of think with admiration of your achievements. I don't care what people think of me after I'm dead It's what they think of me while I'm alive that counts that one that one sucks I'm gonna say Jesus Christ. This is getting morbid. Ask for more stories about your adventure. What adventures have you been on, Joey? None, but... You've drank in several countries.

Those are not adventures. Those just prove that you have possibly a little... Oh, look at Lewis and Clark over here! Relax! Ha ha ha. Heads or tails? Heads! Oh! Ha ha ha! Okay, okay. heads or tails? HEAD oh

okay okay are you getting your answer? turn it to me the sorting hat is ready to make his decision alright turn to me and don't look don't look did it do it? GRIFFINDOR yes way to go Joey!

Way to go! Congratulations! And I'm here I am. You know what I mean? There you are babe, now you know. That's crazy. I'm not going to do mine because either I get Gryffindor and I'm happy or I get someone else and I'm pissed. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh my god. I would love to be a wizard though.

Besides the point, I'm picking pirate. I would would love to be a wizard though besides the point. I'm picking pirate I would still like to be a pirate for like a month But like a good pirate like a nice pirate like no I'd like to rob but maybe other pirates I'd like to rob not oh, so that's pretty good I mean I'm saying like you're you're like you're you're the pirates pirate You know like you're going after the booty boot like of for sure of the other pirates. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And rum, there's that alcohol. There it is. There it is.

Right, and wine. Yeah. Ah, that one's tough because of all the, you know. I don't really like being out at sea though. Being on this, being known as like someone that lives out on the sea is miserable. Kind of crazy. Let me tell you, that- I probably have a really good tan. Yeah, and you'd also have a really good couple spots they needed to probably cut out of your skin because of the potential melanoma. Yeah I probably

definitely get that. Yeah you'd be an old leathery hag. Yeah but I have a cool hat and probably a pet monkey. Let's just get why can't we just dress like pirates? Why can't? You live in Brooklyn most people dress that way anyway. Let's just get why can't we just dress like pirates? Why can't you live in Brooklyn? Most people dress that way anyways. That's fair. You know, we could like pirate chic, which is just pirates. I mean, you would need earrings, which you have none of you would need longer hair and I would need mascara, not mascara, eyelinereliner. I mean, whatever, that's fine. A golden tooth, that'd be cool. You know what's crazy is all, you know, like collectively all of our success, neither of us have gotten grills.

You think that's crazy? That we haven't? Is that what you're saying? Why not? Wait, you want grills? I mean- Frank, I know that there was a point in your life where you desperately wanted them.

I mean, hear me out. Would you hate it? If I had grills? Yeah. I don't know that it would go with my whole life. Really? It doesn't match my life. Grills?

Yeah. Or at least one gold tooth. Like what's his name? Like one of the wet bandits? Mar? No Harry. Yeah, you know Yeah Do it why not? I? Don't know. I don't think I can I think you can pull it off. I don't know. I don't know You probably can't pull off a grill. What about you? Would you get like a would you get like a diamond chain?

Like a big one not like I'm not even gonna lie to you. I've recently been looking up getting more jewelry. Okay, well, because one of the gifts like Becky got me for Christmas was a watch box and there's like slots for like jewelry and stuff like that. Like obviously you got to fill it up. Okay, but are you going to get like diamonds? No. So I'll show you after I'll show you some of the rings that I've been looking at. Rings? Yeah, oh yeah.

Are you gonna fill up your hands? Not like fully, but like, there's gonna be at least two on this hand. Okay. But like not at all times. Shiny, diamondy? Different colors, different colors, you know? You're a ring guy.

I think I am a ring guy. Okay. You know? But like this hand, I like it just being my wedding band. Like it stays on its own. It's nice. You know, it does its thing. This hand on the other hand. Fill it up being my wedding band like it stays on its own It's nice You know it does its thing this hand on the other hand fill it up is gonna be filled Yeah, you know and then I looked into like bracelets

and I saw because we know someone who is just an absolute Menace to society who got like a like a Cuban link bracelet, and I was like I can't ever do that a Cuban link bracelet Yeah Okay So but would you get a chain? Cuban link bracelet and I was like I can't ever do that a Cuban link bracelet. Yeah Okay So but would you get a chain? That got me a change for Christmas I'm talking about like a like a like a big old one not like a big giant one, but like something egregious No

No, I wouldn't I think the one that Becca got me is pretty, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm filling this hand up. I said very clearly I'm not filling it up, but I am going to put some stuff on there. Yeah. You know? Okay.

Just a couple different, you know. Maybe take the tape off of your thumb, and that would make it look a little better. Be? Yeah. No, but like. Fill it up with tape. If I come in and I have a ring for each hand. That would be insane.

For each finger, you know? Right. You just think you're Thanos with that? Yo, I didn't even think of that don't spend too much it's not very cool I would say I wasn't even thinking of getting a thumb ring but now that you said that I've put a ring on my thumb before where else have you put a ring we have more ads. The first one being hello ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors so you can choose the right fit for you.

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Rocketmoney.com slash basement, all right? Ooh, very good, very good. Ooh, very good. Dude, we have to talk about, uh, I'm down a rabbit hole. This dude on tick tock who, uh, is like addicted to soda and he drinks like around the clock. I opened up his fridge and it was just filled with soda. I saw that. And then he's like, people ask me if I have water. And then he's like at the gym, he's like, of course I've drank water, but I also, and he holds up like two Pepsi's and I'm like, bro. I also saw that like he'll like pour, like, cause I was watching it too. I know what you're referencing and he opened it and there was like Fresca.

And I was like, oh, okay. Fresca is not like one of the worst. What is Fresca? I think it's just like, it's like LaCroix. Oh, okay. You know, like that. I could be wrong, but I don't care to find out. Right.

But then I saw he'd like pour a fresca and I'm like, all right That's not bad. And then he'd put like Three pumps of like like Starbucks sugar. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I have seen that dude Not good. I mean he said he can go through like several 12 packs a weekend Yeah, it said he can claims you can drink three 12 packs in a weekend. That's insane. That's a lot of sugar that's like Four times the amount of soda I drink in a year. I didn't what does this person look like? Are they not like

Well, maybe maybe outside they look okay, but on the inside they probably are not doing so hot even with the sugar content of of a They probably are not doing so hot even with the sugar content of a soda like bro the bubbies That's a lot of bubbles. Well, some of us are adults and our insides know how to deal with carbonation unlike your fucking You know toddler insides. So the bubbies are not the problem It's the sugar content Frank the human body if you drink a lot of carbonated shit. Mm-hmm will get bloated Yeah, and you go like this, bop. That's it. Bop.

Sorry Joey, I haven't burped in 20 years. Bop. Bop. Bop. I have a condition. Which is called what? There is a name for it. Oh really?

I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought it was just like a little jokey thing. What did you think I was doing? I thought it was like a little like. I can't burp. So now you're going to bully me. Oh, is it like a little jokey. What'd you think I was doing? I thought it was like a little like I can't burp So now you're gonna bully me. Oh, it's like a serious medical condition. I didn't know that a serious medical. Are you okay? Don't act like you give a fuck now everyone now he just guilted me into saying that so now everyone sit around And let's talk with him. Are you okay? This is what you wanted right bitch. No, it's not little bitch

You're mean You're mean. You're mean. And you're a bastard. Not in like the literal sense, but you're a bastard. Being a bastard. Being a bastard. Yes. You have a father.

I'll wear that. I do. I do. And he's a very like present. Yes. That's a lot. Three 12 packs in a weekend. You know what?

I used to love soda, but then like what was your favorite soda? Coca-Cola. Oh, yeah, I knew that yeah, you've made fun of me for that before was it. What's your favorite so does? What? Like you're like top five oh Coca-Cola love sprite Love sprite orange soda. That's like the worst one. Who loves orange soda? Frankie loves orange soda. Okay.

Is it true? Mm-hmm. I do, I do, I do, I do. Ooh. Okay, fired. Are you wearing yellow socks? No. Why are you wearing yellow socks?

I'm not. Those are cool. Oh, yeah, I am. They're like not just yellow, they're like Easter yellow. Yeah, baby, pastels. I'm exploring my color palette with my clothing a little bit. They're socks.

They're colorful socks though, bitch. Yeah. Sorry. I'm kind of hungry. I'm kind of hungry. Yeah, I get angry when I'm hungry That's what I was saying. Yeah, so those are those sodas are up there. I like those sodas. Mm-hmm You know, but like I don't like really hate. Oh, I hate cream soda and I hate root beer Right and anyone that likes those do you like a canned Hawaiian punch?

No, it feels wrong that It does. You know? I need to drink this out of plastic. Same with brisk. Although brisk- No, I like it in a can. I will say, yeah, I recanted that. Brisk and nest tea, the one that had the cool looking, you know, like the cool looking snowman on it.

Yes. That's it. Fucked with that. That was so good. Also- Iced tea is great. Not real. It was-

Yeah. Sure. I remember the first time I had iced tea that was iced tea and I was like, what the fuck is this? This sucks. Cause I was drinking. Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember my dad used to get the powdered iced tea at the lake house. Yeah. You remember this, right? I would dump. No. So growing up, we had like the big pitcher. I'm sure everyone had the same look and the top spins Yes, like one that has like it goes through like this and the other is ice in there Yeah So we had that and like if you the rule of my house was like if you finish it

Then you have to make the new one and we would just pray to God that Keith wouldn't finish it because when this kid Oh, yeah Half the bucket is going in real that's there'd be an inch of sugar on the bottom of thing even if you start it like crazy that's not surprising crazy that is not darkest iced tea ever or with lemonade Forget it. Yeah all those powdered drinks, but my dad would do it and I remember I he's like hey Can you make it and I went and I read the instruction and it was just like three scoops and I did it and I was like It's just brown water and then my I was like, it's just brown water. And then my dad was like, what is this?

And I was like, I made the iced tea. And he's like, go make it the right way. I'm like, how many scoops do you do? I swear to God, he told me 16 scoops. I swear. How is there any powder left? I don't know. 16.

Yeah, dude, it was like 16 scoops. And I was like, dad, how is this possible? And he was just like, that's how it tastes good. I'm like, you're just drinking sugar at this point. Yeah. That is an insane amount of scoops. Yeah, my dad would say 16 scoops. But yeah, I can't, the iced,

if it's in a can, it needs to be carbonated for me. I can't do like fruit punch in a can, except iced tea, they get a pass only because of the cool logos. A snowboarding snowman? Yeah, dude. That's fine. He was like a skeleton snowman. Yeah, he was skeletony. He was skeletony. What the fuck is that? You know, but like, I don't know any soda that I could drink that much and not forget about the health concerns, just like not hate, you know? Three 12 packs in a weekend. That's insane, dude. When I was like 21. I couldn't do that with beer. Yes, you could

Yes, you absolutely could I probably could in the at the lake Yo, we should do that for a San Agato studios video a case race. I Can't drink a case of beer anymore Frank. I think you can I can't drink 30 beers. Are you insane? Teams me and you on a team. Oh, this is two other people that would also be very tough to drink 15 fucking beers I think you could do it in a day in a day. Yeah, it also depends on the way in which you're consuming it If we were playing drinking games Yeah, we would be able to do it But if we were just sitting down drinking out of a can we might not 15 is so insane. We could do it

I don't think I've ever drank a case of beer. That's just like why. I have there in college. You drank a case of beer. There was a day, I'll never forget. We woke up at like 9 a.m. and started drinking and drank all day until like 3 a.m. Yeah.

Good Lord. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a tough day. A lot of fun. You probably woke up the next day like, I'm good. I remember, because this was weird, this is when the state of Connecticut was weird with their alcohol laws. Who? The state of Connecticut.

Oh, oh. Where like you couldn't get it after 5 p.m. during the weekdays or some shit and then you couldn't get it at all on like Sundays. So we, I remember me and a bunch of my buddies in college drove to the New York, Connecticut border and bought beer and then drove back to drink it. Wow. Probably drank on the way home like, yeah!

I used to do that. I know. I know. No, you were allowed to drink. I don't, I still I still don't promise you that was a lot because I looked it up All right, so then not in New York State, but I know it crossed the border into Connecticut. I was like bang Yeah, I was just open up beers not driving. Let's make that no no I was a passenger He was not in the driver's seat or probably even in the front seat You were probably all the way in the back our friend who I won't say his name to incriminate him because he has a career

even in the front seat you were probably all the way in the back our friend who I won't say his name to incriminate him because he has a career he he didn't like when I did it I don't say that it's terrifying yeah I wasn't sitting in the passenger seat it was a big truck and I'd be in the back and then I would just stare at my phone and we would cross the border into Connecticut and then you just hear and he'd like yo yeah I'm already back here. You made it like a thing that like you were cracking it. You'd go, you know, but like trying to about drinking. I will say, I think I looked it up like within the last five years and I think it has changed.

Well, honestly, probably good, but it's kind of a crazy law to begin with. Passengers over 21 can have open containers of alcohol in a vehicle still that's what it says here according to that Gemini the AI thing that like told the guy to kill himself right? Which allegedly passengers over 21 can have open containers each passenger can have only one open container at a time drivers cannot Right have alcohol containers while driving same law. Yeah, that's stupid. There's no reason why you need to be drinking in a car. Drivers can't have open alcohol containers in parking lots with 10 or more cars? That makes no sense. So they can in an empty one? Let's go to

the parking lot of the stop and shop that's closed and it's still. I think maybe if the car is in park and off, I don't know. That's weird. There is a law that like you can drink in your car as long as your keys aren't in your ignition. Well, now with, yes, I know what you're referencing. Now it's not even about just in the ignition. Like you can't even be sitting in the front seat

because now most cars are pushed to start. You know, like, isn't that crazy? Our kids will never understand turning it like a car on like that. Bro. Do you remember how fucking cool it was when those first came out of like push to start you're like, yo, that is like luxury. Yeah. I remember when I got my Nissan, it had it in there and I was just like, yeah,

no keys pushed to start. Yeah. You know what it is. Everything I do, dude, big. Yeah. Uh huh. Screaming. What did you scream? That's something. That's nothing. When I pulled off a lot, they stunting that's stunting. That's stunting. Uh, but yeah, I remember push to Start when it first came around. I don't like it. I like turning a key. I kind of do too because you can do it angrily. But also just like when a car doesn't start it's like, sa sa sa sa sa sa.

I like to, I don't mind both of them. My old car, like the very first car I had, like I had to like rock in the front seat to get the starter going sometimes. That's how much of a piece of shit it rock in the front seat to get the starter going sometimes. That's how much of a piece of shit it was. How would that help get the starter going? Because with the start, if someone has a bad starter, they say move the car because that might get it going. Okay.

You know? So you'd be in your car. I literally would be in my car rocking back and forth trying to, until you'd see the car from the outside shaking and it worked sometimes. What was your first car? A 2001 Nissan Altima. 2001 Nissan Altima.

All black, murdered out. When did you get it? Murdered out is insane. Like a Nissan Altima. It's just a black car. No, but it had black, illegal tints, black rims. You had illegal tints? Yeah. Why did I didn't get,

so I bought it from a Dominican kid in like Bayside for a thousand dollars. And it had the entertainment screen on it. I got it with like 134,000 miles on it. Bro, I thought you were gonna say 134, it had 134,000 miles on it? What do you think was a thousand dollars? It was also 12 years old when I got it, Joey. That's so insane. say 134, it had 134,000 miles on it. What do you think it was, $1,000?

It was also 12 years old when I got it, Joey. That's so insane. Yeah, I rode that thing until it was dust. I remember that car. Dust, I remember the day I traded it in, I didn't have, the tires were like deflated, there was a broken flex pipe underneath. Probably pissed in that car. You know, that's a a great question I don't remember peeing in that car mm-hmm

that was something he only did as an adult got it okay I remember once a Espo and I were driving to the lake house and I hit something on the road and it broke a pipe underneath so I would drive and you'd hear and you literally look under and you would see the pipe like that and I brought it to a Where I lived at the time right next door was a mechanic and he's like this is gonna cost like $1,200 to fix or I can just tie it up and I was like just tie it just tie it up And he told me he's like, okay But you can't drive with the windows up because like the fumes can get in the car and you could pass out.

And you were like, that's fine. I'll just. That's fine. That's fine. Windows down. Yeah. I remember my mom's car. I was driving to go get like sandwiches with Keith or something and we were listening to a song and I was looking at him and I didn't realize I was drifting and I drove over like the shoulder and we were bouncing around dude and I pulled over finally and I looked under and there was like this metal part and it was just like these giant cuts in it oh yeah I was like I fucked this car up I uh I one time pulled into ironically a liquor store and they were doing work on like the the entrance from to the parking lot from the street and I guess I had taken my eye off the road for a

sec and I hit something it wasn't anything living right I was already a dead person no no and then I got I went I like parked went into the store bought us you everything I was buying came back and there was a puddle of oil. Like, and I had fucked up the oil pan underneath the car. Of your, oh my God. So I drove it to like the mechanic the next morning because on the way home, it was smoking bad. Smoking?

Oh yeah, it was smoking. Bad, dude. Yeah. That's fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My first car was like, it was nice, it was good. Yeah, that's fire. Yeah. Yeah. My first car was like it was nice. It was good Yeah, no one was not a Mazda 3. I think it was nice It was like it must be nice being you hundred and nineteen dollars a month must be nice. I paid a thousand dollars cash For what can only be described as the biggest piece of shit car on the planet But I have a soft spot in that in my heart for that place that car like it it did

It's all shocked that you missed your old car piece of shit that they was a piece of shit I'm surprised you gave it back Don't keep I I'll just keep it in my garage. I dropped it off. I dropped it off at the dealership I traded it in they gave me fifteen hundred dollars for it You made money on that car? Somehow. How many miles did it have when you came back? I mean, technically no, because I fucked up that pipe. Wait, how many miles did it have?

Oh, 200,000? Probably, yeah. What the fuck, that's insane. Probably 200,000 miles on it. And they gave me $1,500 for it. And they didn't even, like, they didn't say, like, let's go see the condition. They were just like, we'll give, yeah,

we'll just give you the, for the parts. Yeah, little did they know those parts were dust Yeah, you know they were tied up. They're held together by literal strength literally not an exaggeration Joey But yeah, I told you with my car when it got fucking smashed Yeah, and the guy was like, oh, can you just pull it down the street? I'm like dude, I'm scared that I'm gonna turn the car and it's gonna explode. I literally couldn't shut the door and I had to drive it down the block. That's the other thing is I bent the door backwards

on that one. How did you do that? Oh no, no, not backwards. So I was pulling out of, remember the gas station up the block from us in Astoria? I pulled out and I was like, I guess I looked back for something and there was a street sign, like a no parking street sign and

where the Front I don't know how it explains but like where the door hinges and where the front bumper meets there's like a crease right there, uh-huh it hit there and Bent it backwards so my car door couldn't open more than like this So then I brought it to, I brought it to the guy that both of our dads know, the mechanic that was on 23rd Avenue. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Joe's garage. Joe, yeah. Yeah. And he used some tool on it, where he like put a crowbar in and there was like a thing on a track and he like, it was like a weight

and he threw the weight back and it popped the thing out and he was like, you're good. Damn, fire. So sick. Being a mechanic is sick, but also socks. Yeah I love the idea of just having dirty hands all the time and a face and just like a and my wife beaters all fucked up Yeah, and he just like and also you wear the same thing to work every single day And it has a cool little your name on your name. You know right there. Yeah, she's me. I You know Yeah, it's no problem. I know you daddy's your buddy of mine. Don't worry about buddy. yeah, she's me. I You know

Yeah, it's no problem. I know you dad. He's your buddy of mine. Don't worry about buddy. Oh, he's a buddy He's always a buddy. Love that Anyway, folks, those are our shitty cars Well, one of us had a shitty car. I had a nice car. I did drive my dad's minivan for a very long time and that was filled with sandwiches and and that was filled with sandwiches and newspapers. Yeah, that was a strange place. Yeah, it was. We knew someone growing up that had a big, giant red van

that just didn't have seats in the back, and we would drive places just sitting in the car. Hello, you're looking at him. That was me. No, there was somebody else too. Mine was a red minivan. I know, this was a red work van. There was no windows.

Who the fuck was it? I'll tell you after. I don't wanna say any person's name say in a person's straight because there was no seats in my dad's car Oh nothing no bench. No nothing like not even like you could see the rivets or where they took it out It was just not there. Yeah, those same thing with my dad's van. It was weird. I delivered pizzas in that Yeah, I I would sit back there on the way to like Jones Beach It was so weird, bro weird place weird place things happen. Anyway, where can they find you Frank? Go find it guys go follow the show at the basement yard on tik-tok and Instagram. It's gonna tick tock is still if we don't even know Yeah, but also patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard. Yeah exactly. But yeah, that is all thank you guys so much for the support

See you guys next time.