The Basement Yard - #490 - The Worst Ways To Propose

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

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Welcome back to the bas- BASSMEN YARD Welcome back to the Basemen Yard Frank, you're here with your Hawaiian shirt Dead of the Winter I appreciate the dedication I'm also here with Fred Durst apparently It's a backwards hat, let's relax

Fred Durst owns backwards Fitted hats Yeah If it's not a fitted hat, it's owned by somebody else But it's usually red, okay? Uh, is it only- no, he's had some some black ones in there right now. He's just white I mean he's been white talking about his face. He's gonna say white is snow his hair his facial You're Fred Durst it out right now, but that's not a bad thing. I mean you did it all for the nookie

We've discussed. We've discussed it in brave detail. I think that's what you should go as this year for Halloween. Fred Durst. Fred Durst. Why not? I'm just gonna wear a backwards hat. Backwards hat, just start, you know, telling people, break yourself! I can get a little, what's that called? A soul patch? Is that what that is?

No, no, no, it's like a, not a goe. It's like a like a landing strip, but on your face Landing strip remember when the landing strip was popular with vaginas. Yeah, I did it one year. You don't have a vagina. I know I don't Wait you had a landing strip for your pussy? I don't let's make something very clear. I know your man. You're my boy my no No, no, no, no, no, that's a different. That's your asshole. Yeah Yeah, when I was like it like 18. I would like shave like oh like a landing strip I don't know why I know that you've done other stuff, so what else have you done? I did an F You shaved an F into your pubes. Yeah, you're long time ago long long long long that doesn't help

I mean it doesn't matter what it has yes. It. If my younger self did it, I'm not held responsible. Wrong. Uh, you shaved an F. Yeah. And uh, it was- Did someone enjoy the site- did that- cause I never saw that. Uh, would you have enjoyed that site? Not enjoyed, but I'm assuming you fucking shave an F into your pubes and you're like,

Joe look! I mean, I- maybe I showed you my pubes I mean, I feel like I've seen your landing strip Yeah, probably the landing strip, but I remember when I whether it was the landing strip or the F I got a physical and my doctor saw it and he was just like yeah, I was like yeah, man He's like good for you. He was an old Greek man. He was I got it You know, hey, there's good for you my friend You know put an F in your pubes went to the doctor Greek man he was like I got it you know a in there this good for you my friend you

know put an F in your pubes went to the doctor I didn't realize I honestly forgot that I had a doctor's appointment and I did what about remembering the pubes I would have ran to the bathroom and maybe a little did what did what in the bathroom you do you think I'm carrying around this is before you get to the doctor 2010 Joe you think I'm carrying around fucking micro touches no this is before I mean honestly you could have been because back then you had a drawstring backpack that had like everything it did but that was a Couple of years prior that was a that was a weird time. We don't look we were razor Pubing oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like against the grain too. It was you would against the grain razor your pubes

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was getting sliced that thing up. I remember I had the Gillette fusion razor Did it was the world on in it? It just had a vibrating thing in it like wait? You had a vibrating razor for your pubes yeah You're a horny little girl weird you get horny for your pubes No, I mean I don't play your pubes your horny someone plays with my pubes like plays with your like fat What do you think I'm getting them braes? No, I mean I- Someone plays with your pubes, you're horny? Someone plays with my pubes. Like, plays with your like, fat- What do you think, I'm getting them braided? What do you mean?

Fat! What are you saying? What are you talking about? Well like, what do you mean horny? I'm not like, you think I'm holding my razor to my penis? Why does it need to vibrate? It was like what the Gillettes did at the time. It was the Gillette Fusion, and I thought it was like, well this must be- Because I see commercials for it, this must be a really good razor.

And it was just a razor. That just vibrated. Did you shave your balls? Yeah. You know I never shaved my balls in my life. So your balls, you just have like a Gandalf beard on your nuts? No, no, no. I mean it like, no. That's not what happened. So what happened? I don't know. Like like I mean back in the day

I never shaved them with like a razor. Oh, yeah, I did well I know like certain how'd you do it you like pulled it taut and then you yeah, of course, baby Hold it tight go you know go around. I have a very delicate sack I was gonna say like I can like navigate the area well. Also by the way just remember not patreon Right yeah yeah yeah yeah You're pulling your sack taut and you're shaving it. Well um Sure, I mean I haven't done that in a long time. Let's be very very clear. Yeah, I mean now we're just Buzzboy trim boys. There are certain parts of your body where the hair is like

buzzboy trim boys. There are certain parts of your body where the hair is like chemically or like engineered basically that it will only grow to a certain length. That's why you've never like shaved your legs, right? Right. That's why it doesn't get like wildly long. It stays the length that it is. Right. When new hair comes in, it gets that length and it's like, we're good. Right.

Pubes, I think pubes Facial hair and head hair are the ones that'll just just just just And if you're old and white then your ear hair cuz I've seen some ill Are you scared about that when you become an old dumb white man? I mean, I'm gonna just Clean out my ears. I'm gonna get the shavers. Yeah What do you want me to do? Let it grow out of my fucking ears like a potato? I don't know if I've seen someone live and like in person with like, you know, like hair Oh, I have. jetting out of their ears.

You've never seen like an old white man in brown pants and suspenders with just ear hair? Oh, no, no, no. And it's like, bro, how could you even possibly hear with that? I don't know. You know, now- What's the grossest hair? What's the grossest hair? You're like it. I think nose is worse Like when it's coming if you see nose hair like coming out like it's like fucking like a stalactite. That's miserable

It is crazy. I I don't mind that because I think I don't see like really bad nose hair You'd have to cut that because I feel like I don't see like really bad nose hair. You would have to cut that because it would make you sneezy. Well, no, I think it's there and it's not making you sneezy. It's when something gets in there is that makes you sneezy. I hate back of the neck hair. Really? Yeah, like when people are wearing T-shirts and it's like, dude, it's coming out the back of your neck. Really? Yeah, I hate that. Oh, I don't really care.

I don't know how else to say that like here The hair doesn't really bother me, but like nose would suck. That's hair I know I'm saying like nose would be the one that I'd be like alright This this kind of sucks a lot so someone walked up on you with a hairy ass nose You'd be like bro. I get this fucking nose out of my face. That's what I would say honestly is that what you want? Yeah, but yeah, I just want to know you you you got the Fred Durst thing going on. I do I guess I mean That's not a bad thing. Just live it up. You know yeah, you also I Could have swore you went to a Camp Rock trivia because Nick Jonas and you

You've really sparked the conversation looking like twinsies because we have the same jacket and you guys have the same face So I've heard can you sing like him because he Cause he's very like, you know, like... He's got a falsetto on him that I don't think that I have. Oh, you're saying species of singing. I'm not, I'm not... High, high pitch? Is that, is that alto? No. Baritone is... Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Yeah, exactly Like he's got

I don't know why I put it on who the hell that was that was like a like the Croatian version of Nick Jonas Yeah Nikolai Jonas cough yeah, wow okay there. We go everyone everyone like that joke. Let's wait for the laughter to die down Yeah, I saw that cuz someone tweeted me they were like you're never gonna like beat the allegations because we're both wearing the same Nick's jacket yeah, I saw that because someone tweeted me. They were like, you're never going to beat the allegations because we're both wearing the same Nick's jacket. Yeah. I mean, I always forget that they're from Jersey. Are they from Jersey?

Yeah. Originally they're from Jersey. The Jones Brothers are Jersey trash. That's awesome. Well, why do you have to do that, Joey? That's how you're speaking about my children. They also, they also, and my wife. I'm pissed for everyone. They's how you're speaking about my children. They also they are and my wife You know I'm pissed for everyone they and you let's not forget. Well, technically I'm not Jersey trap

I mean your your grandfathered in I think oh, I'm I've only been there a couple years and now you're grandfathering me in how I've been there This September it'll be seven years. Okay, once you get to ten you're official ten years. I'm fully in the trap Yeah, wait, do you have a jersey license yeah where have you been you're that's treason i want to be very clear about something i wasn't happy when i had to switch it over right but like i had to switch that and my my like the plates on my car and everything because like did i ever tell you when my license got suspended during the pandemic for what what? Some fuckery and chicanery, but I want to make it very clear. I was very upset about it. And you know me, I like to keep an even

keel when I'm talking to like people in like customer service. I don't like being I have I feel too bad because I know they have a hard job. But like I was I was letting them have it. Why did your license get suspended? Something to do with insurance where like I had before the pandemic started back five years ago, I had switched, like started the process

of switching my insurance over. But then the DMVs and everything just shut down. Like New York, New Jersey, like you couldn't get in touch with anyone. So they just suspended my license without telling me.

That's fire. Was it? No, it wasn't. And I was really fucking pissed off. Well you got pulled over and they were like, your license is suspended. No I don't- Get the fuck out! I don't know, you know, I like how because I'm a brown man that's the first place that you would go.

Brown is crazy. Tan. Well it's the winter so you're more just like- I'm darker than you. How hard is that? I'm fucking- You're Fred Durst. Yeah Yeah, it was I don't remember how I found out I think I called them because I got a letter in the mail or Something like that. It was like yeah, you're suspended. I don't remember but I remember I've been suspended from school Almost I almost got suspended that whole you smell thing remember I told you that story where my dad had to come in?

I told you, this is a famous my father story. Wait, you said you told someone they smelled? No, so... I'll give you the... The bridge. Here's the bridge. What is it? Don't laugh at that, bitch. Um, I was in our like tech class and what we had to do was we had to like use, like we were learning coding and like building websites and shit like that and

We were in a group and you can look at people's stuff from other groups and comment on it like feedback and shit like that Okay, and my for disaster go ahead I Will say this at the time at the time. I didn't have a good reputation. Yeah, this is the pinnacle of prank Frank Yeah, prank Frank was out in full force Yeah, this is the pinnacle of prank Frank. Yeah, prank Frank was out in full force. Yeah. And I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and I left my computer open.

Because it was one of those things where like they'd wheel in the laptops and you'd get to take it out. And I left it open. I went to the bathroom. But my defense was it was when you had to sign out. Remember our teachers made us do that? They were just like, you have to sign your name

when you're leaving and when you're coming back. Like they fucking police us. It's prison shit. Yeah, I made sense though because people were pissing all over the toilet paper in the bathrooms But yeah, I have thrown toilet paper soaking wet out the ceiling We do that together in elementary school fun thing to do oh wet wet paper is so sick when you're younger And you're walking into the boys bathroom, and you're like yo Let's just have fun and you crumble a bunch of paper you soak it and you throw it against the ceiling Nothing better. Yeah. Yeah, and then it just starts dripping. That's how we hate that's how we had fun It was fun in boys bathroom. I never shit on the ground or piss. Yeah, no no no no no peeing and so I knew people

I did that that's why I was very upset about it. I never pissed in the sink I spit in the sink I spit in the sink. I didn't piss in the sink. I used I didn't piss in the show. You ever shit in a urinal? I've never crapped in a urinal. Me either. I just want to get that out of my head. That's just mean dude. Like people have to piss in that. Well people have to clean it. I'm not worried about peeing on stuff. Oh, you just pissed the crap away. Yeah. Yeah, I mean eventually yeah. That's what you would do. Like you'd be a hero you piss the crap away. Right. Yeah I mean, eventually, yeah. If no one's gonna clean it up, that's what you have to do.

That's what you would do. Like, you'd be a hero, you'd piss the crap away. Right, yeah. Uh, but I went to the bathroom, and while I was gone, someone on my computer wrote to somebody else, you smell. And came back. That's it? Yeah.

Came back, the girl ran out, and was like really upset, and the teacher like immediately was like, you downstairs, principal's office. I was like, fuck. And they had to like set up a hearing, my dad had to come in the next morning. Because of you smell? Yeah. Geez dude that's pretty like. I don't know what this says about me. Who was the girl? Did she stink? She must have stunk. I don't remember her smelling. You smell? I don't remember if she smelled. I mean clearly

she's self-conscious about that. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't. I'm not trying to victim, I mean, I guess I am. That's exactly what you're doing. I'm victim blaming here. But like, that seems pretty light. Yeah, and that was my argument. During the hearing.

Your argument wasn't, it wasn't me? My argument. Big deal. My argument was multifaceted. One of them was, hey, listen, I was out at the bathroom. Here's when I signed out, in you know whatever the other one was if I'm going to insult someone you said that she's like yo I can do much better than you smell I swear to God I said I was just like yeah if I if I insulted someone it would be a little bit more elaborate than you smell elaborate itaborate? It would! What grade was this?

Eighth, seventh eighth grade, one of those two. Okay. And uh, and they, my dad came in, it was a whole big ordeal. I've told the story probably on the show, but yeah, it was, it was something, but you smell, you know, like that's- But they let you stay. Bro, eighth grade is too late in life. Wait, were you ever like, did you get like in-house suspension?

Yeah. Dad, I got, I got in-house suspended a few times which is just they sit you in a room and they put like these like walls so you can't like look at anyone and then you have to do like work the entire day and they let you go to the bathroom twice a day. Sounds like solitary confinement. Basically. Yeah. Yeah. They only let you go to the bathroom twice a day? Yeah. Yo, I never fucking got that. I never fucking understood that. Teachers hate when you go to the bathroom twice a day. Yeah, I never fucking got that I never fucking understood teachers hate when you go to the bathroom. I mean granted. That's where shit goes down Let's be honest like literally and figuratively but But like teacher would be like you have one trip to the bathroom per day, and it's like

Well, what if I'm just you want me to piss and crap everywhere? I wonder what it's like in schools now because you remember it's like oh, I got to go to the bathroom I'm like here take this and it was like a full chair Attached to a key and I'm like why does it have to be or even worse? And I hope they still don't do this even worse They would be like alright pick someone to go with you and you know if we'd get up and we'd go pick someone to go with you and you get up and we go hmm obviously every time we picked each other right but like and you never and if you did pick somebody else I was here about that for a couple fucking months yeah but like go like we

were in a school dude I totally handled this by myself the bathrooms down the hall it's not like fucking across the street yeah it made no sense it made no sense they take someone with you in case you fall in like why am I taking a spotter I'm taking a shit yeah I don't want I don't know I don't know schools were crazy never dumped in school we really should get one of our old teachers on this show and see if we can ask them like why did you do this I don't think that any of our teachers will remember specific things about us I hope they do I would I would like to think they did fucking 25 years ago. Yeah

I mean, you know, they tend to remember memorable students and I think that yeah Not only were we memorable at the time, but like look at us now Yeah. You know? Do you know that like when I was in middle school in like seventh and eighth grade, I was cool with our vice principal. Yeah, I was cool with the staff too. I like, I would get sent to her office all the time and she was like very nice to me and I thought that we had like a good rapport and I just like I

wasn't emotionally stable back then so I like would just get like very angry very quickly what was oh like you had like a temper yeah I wouldn't define you as ever having had a temper I did then and I don't I don't even know why it's a circle because you were also the smallest little puny It's little baby boy. I know I'm so like who were you scaring bitch. I wasn't trying to scare anyone What the hell was that One more time one more time do me this is me in seventh grade. All right. What are you mad about? Give me a give me the scene someone's accusing me of something, but I didn't do it Well, what I need to know exactly what. Stealing someone's backpack.

Stealing someone's backpack? Or smaller? Pencil. Okay, alright. Go ahead. It'll be like... I don't know why you're... Go ahead. No, I didn't steal no you're good no I see no my painting soon now no I do it my day yeah

as you were wearing your fucking etnies and you were listening to good Charlotte yeah you're probably not back then good Charlotte on your on your mp3 good Charlotte came a little later but yeah middle school that was good Charlotte. That was Prime. Uh, whatever. I mean, regardless. You know? But anyway-

He took the earbud out of his head, and you just hear like in the background like, I just got kidding with his nightmare! He's like, I ain't doing anything! That is a South Park voice. That might be. But you were just like, you had like- And you had big teeth at the time, I remember,

like you were so small. You were like a little- I had big teeth. You were like a hairless, big tooth, little white rodent. You're not very nice. A hairless, big tooth, white little rodent. I mean, it's, but like- What were you?

I was a big nose, skinny, lankyy dumb brown kid. I feel better now Yeah, there you go you were Rufus Did you just google that? You scumbag fired. Honestly honestly fired honestly yeah, not that far off I don't have big buck teeth. He does not he doesn't have big buck teeth But that but the rest of it probably is accurate. Yo, I recently watched Kim Possible. Holds up.

Still good. Never watched an episode of that. What? Yeah. No way. Yes you did. No I didn't. It was like before even Stevens or something. I mean I just didn't watch it. What? Why?

I don't know. Oh man. I also wasn't in... She was your basic average girl. She was just here to save the world. You can't stop her cause she's Kim Possible. No, it's Kim Possible. I had a crush on her though.

I like the pants. I like- Yeah, you're wearing them right now. Yeah. You're trying. You're trying. You're trying. You're trying.

You're trying. You're trying. You're trying. You're trying. You're trying. You're trying. I am wearing Kim Possible pants right now. You're dressed basically like like Kim possible right now. You just need the red gloves Oh, you're dressed like Ron her boy. That's who you look like right?

It wasn't there a guy in the show on this run stoppable Ron stoppable That's you kind of look like that if you had a little bit lighter hair You don't think so? No. Ah. Anyway. I can see it. But anyway, the reason why I brought that up

is because I would go into her office all the time. And we had a good rapport. And I thought that we were cool, whatever. And I remember like two years out of middle school, I had sent an email to her. Like, hey, it's Joe. She had no idea who I was. Two years afterwards.

I'm like, bro, we had like a thing. We knew each other. Well, that's not a way to speak about your that's not what I meant there was nothing like that oh you are bored that sounds weird too yeah she had a legitimate dart board that I would play that I never yeah you honestly just buried I'm yourself a little bit what was her name say it so everyone knows the potential criminal miss Delvalle Well, there you go. Yeah, mr. Vi. I'm so she just forgot you I like to think that there are teachers I know you like to think I

Well people probably remember you cuz your mom worked in the school. Yeah But like bro there were there were like people loved my miss D. Filippi remembers us? I hope so. No way. Well, she can't because she's probably, she's probably six feet deep in her sleep. No pajamas. You know what I'm saying? I know exactly what you mean. I just, I like to think, well, like, my mom had, like, a lot of friends, so, like, they'd

know me as Nancy's son. Right. Bro, I had one teacher who was never my teacher. I never did a class with him, anything. He was like, I want to write you a letter of recommendation. I was like, I don't know you. Who? Oh, in high school. I'm going to say. Yeah. I've just said every name. Montalvo. He was a nice guy, but like never once wanted to hook you up. Never once. I thought he was Googling. I never once like had a class. He just knew me through my mom and he was just like my phone. He's like go to LinkedIn. I never once like had a classic

He just knew me through my mom and he was just like I want to write you a letter of recommendation I was like go to college. Oh, and it was just I don't know about that I know because you never I forged all my blacker. Hello. Wait, what? Yeah, I wrote a letter of recommendation for college But I made it up. Who is it from? I made up a name Wait, I was like, there's no way they're gonna look into this so I just wrote something. So you just made up complete nonsense. Yeah. And what I mean obviously it was not very good because you didn't get into any schools. No I was actually good at writing so I was able to like I didn't want to go to college. It's hysterical. So I remember I told my parents you're supposed to apply for college in like

November December of your senior year, right? Around then yeah, maybe a little early and I told my mom I did and she was like which schools and I just like I was Like oh, I like, you know, like I just started naming like SUNY schools and shit that I'd like heard of I was like, you know work that is school. So she so she's like yeah she probably had some sort of like inkling um and I remember being like I haven't done any of that I never applied for a school and then when it came to like fucking April or something I went to my guidance counselor and she was like you should are you gonna apply because I was honest with her I was like I haven't applied to anything. And she's like, applied to Queensborough Community College and they'll accept you,

but you need a letter of recommendation. So I just wrote one. Bro, without exaggeration, I had like probably like six or seven letters of recommendation written. Well, you also had a plan to actually go to college. I was just like, I'm just trying to get into this school. I'm gonna lie about this.

If they say this is fake and I can't go, cool. I don't care. I wrote a letter of recommendation a couple of times and one of them was not a recommendation for the job It was a you're a piece of shit. I asked you for a letter of recommendation He wrote a bad one and I told them very clearly like listen like because they it was when I was a Like a supervisor and I made it very clear like I don't think you would be right for this position And they said like I can you still like I need a letter of recommendation, and I was just like do you do you know?

The word recommendation is like the big part and you didn't recommend well you a recommendation doesn't need to be in the affirmative It could be in the like I am NOT recommending this person That is astounding of course I told them like I'm going to write something negative. Bro, as a supervisor, let me, let me, let me, let me. As a supervisor, I had to be fucking honest. And I said to them. No you don't. Yes you do.

Don't be fake. No. Yeah. No way, Jose. Yeah. I was very clear. It was someone that I did not have a good working relationship with. I also did not like this person as an individual.

Did you tell them that it was going to be negative? I told them very clearly, like, I don't think you're right for this position. I don't I think you should ask somebody else. And they were just like, I have nobody else to ask. And I was just like, that's so sad. I agree. But also like, bro, it's your reputation. Why were they bad? Not everyone is fucking Quincy the beat bopper whoever you you know wrote as your fake letter of recommendation like these are real people this is my represent you know like it was representing me right and why were they bad they were just like you know I I'm not a good uh like a not a good person or they were just like

they were late to stuff and like just didn't know how to work with people well like couldn't read a room like in Like they couldn't read or write No, no, but like couldn't like just didn't mesh well and people generally didn't like them because they were too intense And that was all feedback. I'd given this person during the year and I had to like that's so fucked. Why is it fucked? It's honest. What if you found out they're homeless? um if The reason is because of the letter of recommendation Yeah, I would feel bad

You know that writing that letter means they are not getting the job like you are solidifying the fact that they're not getting a job uh, I mean maybe but Also, it's not entirely on letters of recommendation. Like if they went out there and they crushed the interview, that was my thinking. I'm like, no one's even going to read this letter of recommendation. I mean, yes, they will.

No, they won't. Yes, they will. It's a community college. No one's reading this. I mean, maybe they see Josie and I got a future YouTube star. I promise look alike lover of Mac Miller, they'd say yeah let's read this. Absolutely.

No one's going to read that. And if they did read it, like, wait hold on, let me go verify that this person actually exists before I, like bro, it's community, like, take it easy. Jobs do that. Like they do. I'm sure they do, I just didn't think that like a community college would. I imagine that, it's like, you need to like, you don't know if they're gonna do it. So like what if they pick you as the person to do it to?

I was like in my head, I'm like I have good grades. Like I'm like overqualified I guess to get into this school. I could definitely get accepted to this school because my grades are good and I'm writing a letter of recommendation. Whatever, who cares? I just kept it very vague in general. I didn't put anything like specific like top of his class scholar I just said like yeah Joe is hard-working and basic shit I don't remember exactly what I wrote but I remember the irony that they prop what

if they did read it and they were just like wow this kid sounds like a really good kid and then you just don't go back well that's what happened I know that's what happened but did you go to college I I did. Where? Baruch in the city. Oh, nice. School of Business. It's a big school of business, right? Finance. Yeah. Did you get your you got your four year degree? Yep. Good for you. So we're we're right here. You know, you and I, all the dummies. We all ended up here. I do want to make one comment. I want to make one comment about that. We've all ended up working for him. You guys happy with your degrees? I don't know the point you're trying to make. Oh, man.

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I don't think I'm going back. I'm just going to wear skims for the rest of my life. Put them on. And you thought they were only for women. And honestly, when they first came out, I think they were just for women. And I was like, that looks very comfortable. And I enjoy the colors.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to put pantyhose on my body, because I think that were just for women and I was like that looks very comfortable and I enjoy the colors unfortunately I'm not going to put pantyhose on my body because I think that would look a little strange but you know I have it it's an it's an insecurity thing but then when they have a men's line now and it's very comfortable I've had it so any fellas out there or any women out there that want to buy it for their fella you guys can do so go to skims.com all right go to skims.com slash basement and Yeah, go shop and then after you purchase everything after you place your order select select podcast in the survey and Select our show in the drop-down menu that follows so let them know that we sent you to skims

All right Like I said for women out there if you want your guy to have nice underwear or for fellas out there you want a nice Pair of underwear which I know as guys it takes a it takes a long time for us to throw underwear away. It's hanging on by a thread, and you're like, no, these are my lucky pair. It's time to upgrade, OK? Go to Skims, get yourself a pair of nice underwear there. skims.com slash basement.

Click on the podcast and the survey and select our show. Let them know that we sent you, all right? Yeah, and if you want something that's not only feeling warm and cozy around your bottom, you want something that's making you feel warm and cozy in your heart, right here in your chest, go to patreon.com slash the basement yard where we're going to have more shows for you. There's going to be us and you and it's going to be a warm, cozy hangout sesh. Okay. Join Patreon and join that first tier and you get these weekly episodes one

week in advance. And then that second tier year you get exclusive episodes every single friday you could start your week and and your week with the basement are that makes me so happy thank you so much uh... you know we are so appreciative and grateful you guys have seen by now i hope uh... we are in a new studio and a huge reason we're getting the opportunity to do this is not only love and support we get from everyone across the board but our friends over on patreon so patreon dotcom slash the basement yard. Thank you guys so much. We love you and guess what? Again, if you didn't see we're going over to Europe. We have some shows in Scotland London and Dublin And if you're coming in any of those shows make sure you go to the basement yard comm slash submit

Let us know what car show you're coming in you know shows make sure you go to the basement yard dot com slash submit let us know what car uh... show you're coming to and submit responses to the questions we have there a big part of the shows we did last year and we want to do it again this year is their interactive we talk to you you talk to us crazy stories being bang boom it's insane it's uh... maybe not if you go and you submit it maybe will pick your car maybe we'll talk to you

about you we can also if you ask to you submit it, maybe we'll pick your card Maybe we'll talk to you about you We can also if you ask to be kept anonymous put that in there whatever but go to the basement yard comm Submit let us know what show you're coming to submit your response and you never know. Maybe we'll talk at the shows. All right back to Joe That was my transition noise Did you like that one's calling me? Oh, who is it? Don't know the number not picking it up. Never scary scary scary scary. I'm scary Don't even tell you I used to like like mess with those scam callers

Uh, I've done that I keep I kept them on the phone for like five ten minutes We were like Hall of Fame prank callers back in the day. I stand by I was a great prank caller prank called one of our friends as a girl saying I wanted to get intimate with them and I'm sure you didn't use that language. Oh no yeah no and do you remember? I remember you. Do you remember? I know that I don't I don't know that specific story about that but I do remember you cyber prank calling one of our friends meaning you created a screen name and we're like flirting calling one of our friends, meaning you created a screen name and we're like flirting with one of our friends via like-

Catfishing, catfishing. Catfishing. And I remember the screen name was Ski'd On My Face XX. X? Oh, was it? Three Xs. Was it? It was Ski'd On My Face, that I know for sure.

I know. And you were like, oh hey, how you doing? You're so hot. And they were like, whoa, what? Really? And the screen name was literally Ski'd On My Face XX and they're like, whoa what really and the screen name was literally skiing on my face I remember I remember the skeeting like then the screen name. Let's make that very clear. We did. Yeah, it was all fun It was just bros hanging in it's just prank

Guys and having fun. All right. I remember one time I prank called one of our friends and I was just like I'm like can I like come in like touch your balls and like he was like with other friends of ours And he was just like yeah, she wants she's she's down you remember everyone would always say like DTF Yeah, you know and then I would like pretended like my boyfriend took the phone And he was just like oh alright come through like let's fight And then you can hear I remember hearing our friend to our other friends say like yo you got the hammer stop And then he said like they're in the cut cuz I said like I'm coming to get you got it and we showed up

And it was you and it was me yeah, yeah, you're an idiot It was so fun Yeah, so fun to be a kid and mess around with your friends have a little bit of good times. You know yeah I do know exactly what you mean, but I was a good prank caller Maybe we should do episodes of prank calling people. I'm not gonna prank call anyone I mean, I'm cuz I'm you know an adult that's part of it. That's a big part of it I would say what's the last time you prank called someone a Very long time

Man well that was the time we remember there was a show crank yankers Yeah, and then you don't remember there was like a puppet. They were like yeah prank calling yeah And then there was the the infamous prank call that you kicked my dog That's like 20 almost 23 year. That is a white guy doing a seemingly Indian man yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Problematic. A little bit and you know, you know, it doesn't- but a classic But a classic. It's not it was it definitely was that was the funniest thing in the world at one point No, the funniest thing in the world was the Arnold Schwarzenegger's pizza shop. Yeah, but not many people know that

I'm shocked. If you want something crazy like pineapple, I'll kill you. I recently brought that up to someone, and they were just like, Arnold's Pizza Shop. And I was just like, sit down. Frank, you lived on whatever fucking website that was. Don't even pretend you don't remember funnyjunk.com. Funnyjunk.

OK? There were some problematic ones on there, too. Like the- Of course. There were some problematic ones on there too. Like the- Of course. There were some ones that were not nice. Right. We know which one we're referencing. Are we referencing the one where someone works in a drive-thru?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they clearly have some sort of issue? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we're just exploring that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember the Numa Numa video? Why was that so-

What is that guy doing? This guy. He's just doing this. He did it. I mean I gotta say incredible karaoke skills Lip-syncing you mean yeah, yeah, I mean oh yeah, that's not karaoke. Yeah, you're right. I mean he crushed that lip-syncing Yeah, he did a great job. Where is the Numa Numa guy? Can you look that up for me? Numa Numa guy man man the new manuma guy always on stage singing in a band good for him names Gary I

is he gonna go to Wikipedia that's always a trusted source. Where is he from? Norway or something? No that looks like that is uh. What do we think here? He's in movies? No, one movie. Oh it's like a student film or something. Where's he from? Newgrounds. It was on newgrounds.com. The fuck is Newgrounds? You don't remember Newgrounds? Ant, you remember Newgrounds, right? I do remember Newgrounds.

Just go to where he is now. I don't care about all this stuff. I'll just type in his name. Just scroll to the bottom of that. It wouldn't tell you? We'll figure it out. I'll look. But the Numa Numa guy if he like went viral now You probably become an internet celebrity and make a bunch of money That's your career and then start a coin and then take our own money and then

Disappear and people are thinking where are you? I'll let everyone who's watching this know right now If we create a I'm giving you the heads up if we create a meme coin I will rug pull so if we create a meme coin don't give us the money at least you're being honest I am going to rug pull it yeah and you will lose money so do not this is what is going to happen if we were like the coin will be called like

BSMT Okay, it'll be called basement coin right don't buy it don't if we release it things have gotten real tough here, but I'm Pulling it I'm rug and let us crash and burn if it gets to a point where we release that coin Let us like you know like oh man like things are not going well let it go Yeah, let it go right where it deserves to be what I'm letting you know right now the rug yeah How much do we know we're obviously I think millions we're referencing Haley Hawk to a Welch

and we're not accusing her of Orchestrating anything, but the evidence doesn't look great. Yeah, I think that there's a... How much did they make off of that coin? Millions, I assume. Bro, she, like, I'm not even kidding. If it comes out like she does get, like, in trouble criminally, the movie about the July to January part of her life is going to be insane dude movie

is crazy maybe a Netflix Netflix doc maybe but like it's kind of crazy though oh you've got to do this how much today it does say that her coin reached a market cap of around 500 million yeah but I don't know what that's yeah but that doesn't mean that it's worth 500 million a market cap dude I don't know what that means though to be honest I don't know what that what yeah, but if that doesn't mean that it's worth 500 million a market cap, dude I don't know what that means though To be honest. I don't know how much she like walked away with I also don't even know what a rug pull I'm sorry. Maybe maybe we do do this. I mean why I'm saying be very clear. It is a crime We're we yeah, I'm admitting to a crime that I may or may not commit in the future I'm just letting you know no that's literally how people get in trouble Don't do that say you're not gonna do it

I'm not gonna create a meme coin. Okay, just want to make sure that the lawyer I'll just go make pizzas before I did that Oh, but I'm just letting everyone know be smart, but if you if you see me making a mean coin It's not going to the moon. It's getting a third of the way there, and then I'm ha and I'm leaving I mean 500 million that's that's to the moon it's getting a third of the way there and then I'm I mean 500 million that's that's to the moon I don't think that means it's worth 500 million bro if if if it was I'm pushing you to create a coin tomorrow yeah well well Frank if I'm rug pulling I'm pulling the wool as well the rugs getting pulled the wool the wool over your eyes you think I'm giving you one dollar I'm pulling the wool as well. The rugs getting pulled? The wool? The wool over your eyes. You think I'm giving you one dollar?

I'm rung pulling innocent people. So you're not getting 500 million. You're why? I'm getting 500 million and I'm running away. Is the rug made of wool? I don't get it. No, you're a rug pull is what that's called. But why are there why is there wool over your eyes? Pulling the wool over your eyes you never heard that expression no, okay? Well welcome to adulthood and planet Earth because that's an expression Everyone's been using for years pulling the wool over someone's eyes How many sheep how many sheep are you talking to that you can just regular like that doesn't make sense? What does that mean Frank you know that exists pull the wool of your eyes?

It's a phrase it means to fool you okay, okay? No, no, no, no, it does sound familiar. To trick or deceive. OK. I'm sorry. I was confused, because you were talking rugs. I'm thinking you have rugs of wool. No. Can you do that?

You can make rugs of anything. Human skin, wool. Human skin? Yeah. No. You don't think so? No. But anyway, we do have some more sponsors.

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Why was she on the flight that he was flying? I don't know. I think it's like a horny thing, maybe, right? You know You know how people like to do like I'm at your place of work and I'm here you know like they do stuff like that. No am I crazy? Is Becca here? What are you talking about? I wish! Yeah I don't know what you're talking about. Oh now that I'm thinking about it that's kind of like like the wedding singer. Like a wedding singer. Remember, oh, Wedding Singer. Remember he, like, he's playing the guitar on a plane?

I don't remember that part. Did you bury him or? I don't remember that part, or care for it. Um, no, yeah, so, I think it's funny because, like, I think the story came out and she said yes, but- Imagine if she said no. Imagine. Bro, imagine being on that flight. Wait, did he propose over the PA no he like walked out to her Planes can like fly themselves like now

There's like autopilot and she like and there's two pilots now bro of course for years you're acting like it's 1901 I mean, I don't know when did they bring out autopilot when did they roll it out? I I'm gonna say I'm gonna say the 70s 70s 100% I'm saying 90s brother no way to be doing that forever really yeah autopilot how hard is that you lock the steering wheel and you just go yeah but like it's way smarter now no it's probably older if anything 1912 no bro that's come on now you dumb idiot It's that says nine now you almost if bro if we've had that since 1912. Oh, what kind of question? Did you type in what does it say just type when I was able to automatically fly?

When was planes automatically flies When was autopilot invented? flies When was autopilot invented? Same answer was invented in 1912 by the spare E the people that made my boots. I don't know why I'm Sperry Corporation Designed to reduce the pilots workload. This doesn't make sense I mean it is 1912 that what why I made the job being like the st same 1901 10 years later. They had it an apology No, fuck you. What you you you did type that like an idiot to be fair also I just fired you back there for pulling up a picture of a naked mole rat. That's true saying that

That is right you would technically you are you're off the clock Wait, no, no, this can't be right like all right look up like now planes can fly by themselves when did that happen? What No, like there's a their autopilot like it might like lock the thing But like now like basically they click a button and it follows a path like when did when did uh I? Guess autopilot You're describing autopilot. I think that's my, that might be what you're doing here.

When, when, when, and there's no other way to ask this question. We're going to get the same page. All right. Type this. Okay. When did planes become as smart as they are? Yo, Frank is AI's worst nightmare. Aircrafts are the 21st century there we go

So that's just a big white guy Big ass we're not reading the Frank the answer is 1912. That's astounding. That's not that doesn't think about it Amelia Earhart that was so long ago. What was that? What was Amelia Earhart? the 30s oh It was it was like 29 or something like that. When was Amelia Earhart? The 30s? Oh it was, it was like 29 or something like that? That was the Great Depression. So people were upset but she was flying planes and that made her happy.

Which is nice, you should find a hobby in the dark times. I have some bad news for the people that something happened on that plane that she took. Well no, she had some good flights. She did, but then she had some one really not good ones. Unfortunately if you have one really bad flight, there's no more good ones. Let's not talk about this as we're about to fly to Vietnam. Well no, she had some good flights. She did, but then she had some one really not good ones. Unfortunately, if you have one really bad flight, there's no more good ones.

Let's not talk about this as we're about to fly to Vancouver. Please, God Almighty. It's totally fine. But anyway, asking, like, getting, like, hello, proposing to your wife on a plane. Well, you're not proposing to your wife, you're proposing to your girlfriend or partner. Right, okay. You know. Technical Frank, here he is.

But that's technical Frank. Not just technical, not just technical, that's just, it's a correction. Technical Frank. Um, one of the worst places to get engaged. What is the worst way to propose to your girlfriend? I mean that's pretty bad because like, what if you're, what if the person being proposed who says no, this pilot needs to go fly this plane I'm creating a clip Frank what is the worst way to get engaged like what's the worst way to propose to your girlfriend

ah oh it's gotta be a flash mob that's a bad one that's so bad dude can we I just get a collection of people dancing I hate that too well unless they're on a stage but but don't be on the floor if you're on what level ground that I am like I can stand face to face with you and you're dancing get the fuck out or you're on hardwood like if you're like a Nick City dancer or something like that's fine but like you know you're in Grand Central Station and you're all dancing bro if I walk they did I got recruited to be in a in a flash mob once

and I respectfully declined how do you get recouped was like a cult someone reached out to me and says I want to do a flash mob you want to be in it we're gonna make it go viral did it go viral no Joey absolutely of course not because that was the thing that people said just to like get people excited in 2010 you know it was like we're gonna make something and it's gonna it has all the key components to go viral so would you have to show up to practice? Because I'm assuming everyone has to learn the dance. You know I said no so I don't I didn't go that far but like I remember it was like in like the

cafeteria like where people like the food hall on campus. Oh my god they wanted to do a flash mob in campus and bro they had a big stairwell coming down so like everyone could see them like it was it was so that everyone can clearly see the people that they don't want to have sex with. Yes absolutely. Flash mob is pretty bad can you imagine it's like will you marry me and then like a 10 people like I'll tell you this if the song marry you by Bruno Mars is involved at all pretty bad just say no yeah and if you're getting proposed to what Disney proposals are pretty bad that would oh here's Mickey Mouse just kidding you got the ring like what are we doing I want you to make me the huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh happiest boy ever. Yeah No, yeah, like just make it like absolutely like, you know, like here comes goofy what's in goofy's hand? Where did you propose?

There's a little beach by where we lived but not public like there wasn't people around right? No, no It was just myself Becca and miles cool. And there was a did you tell miles no because he would have immediately like told her yeah he also you proposed to both of them of course yeah because that's that's what my life was going to become right you know but like was he shocked did he say yes I didn't ask him he was very excited okay you know but it was it was It was I was like I had the ring I had asked her father And I looked outside and it was the craziest sunset I've ever seen in mine to this day the craziest sunset I've ever seen in my entire life like neon pink and purple and orange

Oh, yeah, and I was just like oh fuck like this is this there's no better time So I was like why don't we go walk down to the little beach to see the sunset oh you slick I was a slick little bitch how how much time how long did you hold on to the ring a couple weeks maybe a couple days but it wasn't very long maybe a couple weeks but it wasn't very very long okay you know and I cuz I know like once I have a gift I want to give it to that person yeah what I mean yeah so yeah and I asked and she her response was what babe miles made fun of her after that was there any rules leading up to that but she was like yo don't do it at

a restaurant or anything like that not that like, you know, don't do it at a restaurant or anything like that Not that I remember, you know, I don't know that I would like a restaurant I think I think the public aspect of it puts a lot of pressure on I'll tell you this if anyone's clapping I Am not if I hear You know like Yeah, like if you're like in Central Park and then getting down on the knee and then everyone stops and they're like clapping and there's way I'd be like, dude, sports games, sports, when they pull it up on the jumbotron, it's just like, happy birthday to Sue and Ben. And lastly, Ben's got a question. Michelle, will you marry me? And it cuts to them. And everyone's like, oh, and it's like, there's a guy in a corner and he's got a question as well. Will you marry me? And it cuts to them and everyone's like, I...

And it's like there's a guy in the corner and he's got a popcorn and a hot dog and he's like, oh! Yeah, it's like, oh shit! And everyone's just like, look, look, look. And like, what? That is, that seems... But honestly, it's individual. Some people want the poppin' circumstance. They want it to be big and insane. No, it's individual like some people want the pop and circumstance like they want it to be big and insane no It's so

Would you have you ever thought about any ways of proposing? I mean I would Just I know I've only thought about things that I would not do okay I've only so you're not going to Disney I think we definitely not confidently rule out a flash mob we can confidently rule out I saw a video recently of a guy filming a proposal, but he was not part of it. He was just seeing it happen. Because it was on the beach, and there was a whole thing,

and just rug, and the woman's there, and she's just sitting there, or standing there. And the guy has him and two background dancers and they're doing a choreographed dance and I'm like I've never been more certain that a marriage is not gonna I'll be honest with you Corey out of place choreography terrifies me it makes my skin crawl if though if there's not stage lights on you like why are you dancing so intensely in a park you shouldn't be be doing this! Too much, dude.

And like, over intense choreography, I just see it and I wince a little bit. Yeah, and it's like you can tell that this dude took classes for this. Like he- oh my god. It's tough. He was in on the choreography with the dancers? Yeah! That's bad. It's like, will you marry me?

And then backing up and being like- He's like, will you marry me and then backing up and he's like will you marry me? Yeah Say no before he starts, you know why I think like the current internet age has like ruined choreography for me like like tic-tacs and like, you know like Even that kind of like came and went though Like I think people are over the choreographed dance on I think maybe it's just our algorithm I have a feeling maybe probably still very popular amongst a certain age range of people it could be like bro people got famous off of that like the

What's a girl that had the the McDonald not the McDonald? Oh Charlie de Milio. Yes, the the Dunkin Donuts drink She's the most followed person on the app. I think there you go She got famous doing those dances, right? Well, she yeah, she's like a dead. She's on Broadway. I think yes Yeah, I saw her at the Thanksgiving Day not at there. I wasn't there. I saw it on TV, but like You know what a psychotic thing to go to Parade Thanksgiving Day parade in if you propose to someone at a parade. Oh my god, like if there's a parade float Come on, if there's a parade float Come on If there's like a big inflatable like Elmo making its way down

And you're like quick I need to ask For your hand in marriage You fucked up I do wish that I lived in Manhattan On the path so that I could just see like a giant like If you lived in Manhattan on that path That's like It goes a very specific route

Like it's very expensive to live there, no? I thought it was just, I don't know where it goes, to be honest with you. Doesn't go down 6th Avenue? Sshhh, who the fuck knows? But like, I mean, I don't know, people live there. I mean, that's crazy. If I, bro, if I, what- Imagine a big balloon past your window, that's awesome. That'd be scary. It'd be like Godzilla. And is

that not scary? I don't know. Let me answer for you. It is scary. You know how some people have like a fear of gigantic things? I feel like I have the opposite. You have a you have a fear of little baby little babies? No no no I mean like I like a giant thing but I'm not I don't mean like because there's some people that like oh, I want a big giant woman to step on my head That's not what I mean. I wasn't even going that route. I was going with big giant dongs. Oh, no You like little don't I don't like any dongs, dude I like my own dong and that's where I draw the line at only dong you've ever liked Yeah, no other dongs in the world that you're just like, this isn't the worst dong.

Ding dong ditch, I like that. That is. I saw a tortoise dong recently. Have you seen this thing? A tortoise's penis? Yes, dude. They're like 800 years old. They gotta have crazy ones.

Dude, this thing looks like an alien. Look up tortoise cock. You want me to look up tortoise penis? Yeah. And search for videos. Yo, this thing- Don't search for videos. Yeah, this thing- Don't search for videos. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. That's where I saw it. And it was crazy, dude.

What website were you on? I don't remember where it was, but I saw it. Tortoise. He's typing in- Well, here's the thing. First of all- We just found out that ant can't spell. Ant can't spell. And you guys went to the same high school. Well, this is not going to be able to be shown if we're going to put-

Yeah, no, no, no. This is just for us. This is- Look at videos. Is that- is that what you want is that his leg no well oh my god is that is that looks like a hoof dude look up the video dude you really look up the video what's happening in the video it's just it's doing its dong what does that mean it's new being a dong dude it's scary don't I don't want to watch it whoa you know get that off the screen that's gross scary don't I don't want to watch it whoa you know get that off the screen that's gross Josh don't put this in don't don't put this

in first of all that title said WTF exclamation point wanking tortoise what are you looking at see that video just to make it very clear that's not the video that I saw oh you saw a different one of a tortoise's wiener. Yeah, a different, yeah. That is way bigger than I thought it was gonna be, by the way, just saying. Yeah, but... What other ways are bad to propose? Disney is bad, because you're both wearing Disney ears,

and they're trying to do it with the fucking castle in the background. Yeah. And listen, if you've gotten proposed in any of these ways and it's special to you, that's on you. We're just speaking for everyone else. Yeah, I'm happy for you, I but I hate you I would I would say no so that you ever see the video I mean this is very like progressive I guess

but they were in Disney and it was a I don't don't just say it a person two people yeah uh you know but they were proposing to each other good for them I was like what are the chances of that happen well any any proposal there's you imagine there's been I shouldn't say any the ones that are going to probably say yes there's been conversation about like what kind of ring do you want what kind kind of do you want to ring? What do you think about this? Like, bro, the people that just like say like, you know what, I'm just gonna propose with no conversation. One good on you to you're an idiot. Dude, people who get a no. I would literally if I'm on a knee, and the woman that I'm asking

to marry me says no, I'm just going to stay there until I wither away. Is the relationship over or do you like? The relationship is definitely over. One, two, I may not get up. I'm just probably going to sit. Just going to lie down right there. I'm just going to sit, crisscross applesauce and just wait for the wind to take me.

Smart, honestly. Clean that up. Yeah. Don't yeah yeah I'm not I'm not I'm not getting up I'm just gonna be like okay I'm gonna stay down here you can go oh you're free to go I'm gonna would you even ask why like what do you want you wouldn't want any cuz honestly if I proposed to Becca and she said no, I'd be like, why? That would be the first thing out of my mouth, like, huh? I would... Or maybe, yeah, definitely maybe a what? You just did the most like anime, like, huh?

Huh? Like, excuse? I would immediately think that I'm an idiot. Because I'd be like, I it should have known you'd go into like full Dobby mode like don't be so bad elf and like hit your head on the fucking floor no you know what I've been doing recently from Harry Potter just in my apartment just going he's back I've just been firing those off right been real fun in your apartment lately, huh? I have a lot of fun first of all don't talk to me the person who talks to himself more than anyone

I've ever met first of all yes second of all you know what I've been doing you know I've been noise You know what I've been doing you know what I've been doing tell me I love these yeah I've been doing tell me I love these yeah, this is a good one Well you do that to your children I do I do this to miles all the time he's back Voldemort's back. Oh, do you ever hear Ariana Grande's impression of fucking Emma? Watson Watson where she's like runs been splinched. Yeah, you know she does a really good impression I Feel like we're going a little crazy. Okay. I think I'm more of like a like it's a it's an impression Yeah, I wasn't like oh my god. That sounds like Emma

I thought it was pretty good, but okay, but Yeah, proposing at theme parks Flash mobs bad sports very bad any any like choreographed dance Horrific that's just that's just bad. I don't like that because then how do you dance your way out of a no, you know? You must know by the look in your girlfriend's eyes as you're dancing and being like, oh fuck She's not into this. I've made a grave mistake. You know, like you're like dancing and she's just like horrified and you're like, What do you mean we're not ready?

She's like, I feel like she's not into this the way that I thought she was going to be. I think we could work on it if that's something you want to do. If you're not ready, say that. But it feels like a hard no, are you are just the end of us? Yeah, I've seen it you have to know I've seen in movies people just being like Proposing and they're like what why when we should have talked about this bro. That no bro. That's crazy I think that if you propose and you get a no you're an idiot you have to know that I mean No, there are people that are so stupid that they just don't get it You know I just feel like you have to have some sort of ink like this isn't the time if you have proposed someone

And they said no, I'm not calling you stupid, but there are people that are stupid. I am not saying stupid I'm saying more either You're purposefully being oblivious or you're purposely ignoring signs Well that that is what a lot of people like a lot of people find it easier to just live in the Delusion and world of the relationship in their own head than the reality of what it is That's what I mean is what you do, but not with your relationship with everything else. What the fuck is that? What does that mean? Do you remember when we had that conversation where you're like if I'm driving and my engine's making a lot of noise but no light turns on. That's right that's right because it's a car. That's kind of the same thing. It is. There's no issue

until you find out there's an issue. Hey man, dancing through life, skimming the surface, gliding where turf is smooth. Life's more painless for the brainless. You know what I'm saying? Why think too hard when it's so soothing? Dancing through life, no need to tough it. When you can slough it off, I do.

Nothing matters and knowing nothing matters. It's just life. So keep dancing through. I'm gonna have to hold up a Shazam. What's that from, high school musical or some shit? That's from Wicked, bitch. Got it That's not good. People are not gonna like that. I didn't know that. Uh Can you oh we've looked up the worst the worst ways to get engaged Can you zoom in on this a little bit because I can't see um, where's oh are these other ones?

I think during the recording. Can you zoom in a little bit? I can't Hear I could I could oh what about what about people? ones I think during the recording can you zoom in a little bit I can't hear I could oh what about what about how about what about getting fired for the second time in one episode about that zoom in what about people that do like the proposal in the champagne glass or like in a cupcake or a cookie or something like that if I have to dig first of all if I'm buying a ring for thousands of dollars it's not I'm not going I'm put any champagne going in someone's mouth it's not I'm not running the risk of someone eating it accidentally like all your steak how funny would that be if they ate it I'm

sure that's happened I mean of course it's I'm sure it's happened bro you're like the person's like a dog like you have to put the pill in the steak and then give it to their dog or like you put in the champagne it's like now I have to fish this out of crap oh of champagne I thought you meant like if they swallow it no bro could you imagine you buy a an engagement well so what is the amount you should spend on an engagement ring is it is it still three months salary or three months pay I don't know because like just get a lap let's say all right you're obviously doing well for yourself, Mr. Durst Roland just came out

You know you just relieved you released your new Album chocolate starfish and the hot dog flavored water right? things are going well for you, okay, what if in three months you make a Hundred thousand dollars no you're gonna spend if I'm spending a hundred thousand dollars on a ring I'm not it's not going near anyone's mouth Right, but I also like I mean I think you have to weigh The options like if you're gonna get like an egregious Ring you're making your wife a target. Oh, okay. We're talking about eating cupcakes this one says

My best friend swears he proposed by pretending to find a ring while eating out his girlfriend and asking her whose ring it was he has never wavered from this story if first of all you can ask the person that he's allegedly did this to did this actually happen that's so fire because for him to just be like what the hell is this what is that like what how do you it's like behind your ear and also ripping you out of the moment like where's the magic is gone not only that but I'm such a hypochondriac that I could be convinced that something came out of me and then I'd be like I'm going to the doctor a fucking ring was in me if someone ate you out and they found a ring right?

If someone was eating my butt and was like I would think that someone like put a ring in my food and I ate it. Like that's when I would shit it out? In their face? Yeah. I'd be scared dude. At the wedding you threw them? At the surprise wedding? Oh that's another one. When people propose at someone else's wedding. That is so insane. Yeah, I would be a little, I'd be, I mean, listen, if someone came to me and said, like, I'm thinking about doing this and I thought on it, I was like, all right, go for it. That's different. But if they didn't tell anyone and they just did it, first of all, I'd be like, do you, I'm going to hit you. Don't

it. Don't get engaged. I know I'm saying I would say no but like Maybe it's like a real thoughtful moment where you know I mean wait 24 hours do it at the brunch How about that? But some people I'm just saying some people do allow it to happen I know but if they if they just don't even say anything and they're like, I'm just gonna do that's insane. That's crazy What else do we got show her the ring then put both hands behind your back say pick a hand now Oops wrong hand no proposal this time. I If someone ever does that yeah, that's that's not good. That's way too long. I'm not reading that What is wrong with people they don't have jobs are writing fucking essays is hunting where you're miles away from anybody else That's a little tough. Yeah, that's a little scary

I don't get engaged when there's guns around or out on a boat where there's no one around It's just you two and like it's like you talked about it. That's sweet like then it's magical for your moment, but like Yeah, what if then you yeah, then you're putting the person in the position of like if they say no they might end up over I think that everyone my actual opinion is that everyone should get engaged in A way that is special as a couple don't do anything That's like well I like this so we're gonna do it here like find something that works for you And if that's fucking Disney, and you're both holding churros, and that's what it is fine. Yeah, not for me

honestly a Proposal like the moment it's going to happen should be a surprise But like the way it's happening should be discussed that in my own way You know like yeah at least get it get an inkling an idea listen every couple I don't say this I I'm not gonna say every couple The way the Beck and I did it when we were approaching like that's the next logical step is getting proposed You know getting engaged getting married having a family There's a lot of conversation that goes into it like at least on our end like we were open

So we were just like rings and we talked all that out Then the like then the little minute details you could figure out but like the larger stuff like bro If I was could you imagine? Becca doesn't, like... The idea of her getting on a stage would maybe scare her a little bit. Could you imagine if I proposed to her on stage at, like, Radio City? Like, the pressure you're putting on that person is crazy! Yeah, I mean, at that point, if I'm...

See, that's why I think that's a bad idea, because I would never want to put someone in a position where they feel like they can't say no, if they needed to say no. Yeah, exactly. Cause like, oh, so many people are watching. Like I'd rather just like... Yeah. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it,

but that would be tough. We also did have someone propose at one of our shows, and we kind of coordinated with them. Yes, and she said yes, thank God She said yes, thank God and also the he I think he told us like in communication like we've discussed Weddings and marriage as like it's going to happen. She just doesn't know when got it. You know, but dude Can you imagine first of all selfishly if she did say no the show would have been probably a lot better This is real when we were planning it, we said,

what if we stopped for a second? We were like, oh my god, what if she says no? And then me, you, and Greg at the same time went, that would be hysterical. That would be awesome. That would be awesome. Yeah, it would be not good for the dude, and I would feel really bad for him.

But that would be crazy. It'd be funny, because we'd be like, we still had the graphic ready to go. Congrats. She said yes. She didn't. And then the champagne was coming out. Yeah, we're like, oh, we got champagne.

Man, that's tough. Good times. I would feel really bad. Really good times. This just says, at a funeral, bro. You're not getting engaged at a funeral. That's insane. Dead body in the room, you're gonna be like,

Hey, you wanna do this? Till death do us part? I can see something romantic about it. About getting engaged at a funeral? Yeah. Like if it's like, you know, meemaw went down and it's just like... When one door closes...

When one door closes and another one opens. I can't. I cry at everyone's funeral. Really? Everyone? Yeah. People I don't even know. Will you cry at mine? Bananas question.

That's crazy. Well, will it be a point where, are you going to do the old man route? We had a lot of good memories, and I have nothing to cry about, because we have a lot. Well, I don't sound like that. Well, you might. Hopefully, we're going to live very long. Your accent doesn't change. I mean, old Well, you might. Hopefully, we're going to live very long. Right. Your accent doesn't change.

I mean, old bag, you know? Now you're still cold. Hell yeah! Yeah, right? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that would be sad. What's an old man voice? I remember back in my day.

Yeah. You know? Sure. Are we doing the show at that age? No. 70 years old? No, no, no. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Can you imagine? We're 70 doing the show. I take? No. 70 years old? No, no, no. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank!

Can you imagine? We're 70 doing the show. I take off my oxygen mask. Hey, Joe. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, keep this fucking horse galloping until the crows come singing, you know? It will be 24 then? That would be crazy.

Yeah. It doesn't age? It will be seeing over there. I'd be like, I got fired nine times this month. I would never be able to like but I've been at like our friends grandparents who I've never met like wakes and I've been crying yeah I get I get choked up choked up is a better like I'm not like sobbing but I'm definitely like like I have to like I have to breathe to like yeah fighting a cry in

your face and fight your face when you like don't want to cry you like I I there's a weird part of me that likes the back of the throat cries come in I do that when I can you know like it's back there I was like you know I also like collecting tears in my eyes so that when I blink it just goes oh you like to engineer your cries uh Only when I'm watching movies. Oh just like let it go let it go let it go bang And then like at the right time yeah like I'll stop myself from blinking cuz I know if I blink it'll probably get like a Tear but like a whack tear like I'm trying to get I'm listen. I I love crying

I'm more afraid of being accused of crying when I'm not Because it's like no this doesn't deserve a cry right now like We were watching something back And I were recently watching something and like I like wiped my eye because I was tired and yawning and it wasn't a cry tear You think I'm not I'm very comfortable to say if it was a cry tear clearly not you just said you hate when people say I'm not crying. This is a cry. Well. Yeah when it's not a cry I'll say it's not fine you. Why does that offend you so much? Toxic masculinity.

No, that's not, bitch, my masculinity is so sweet and supple, it's not toxic at all. Drink it and it'll be good for you. Ew. Yeah, that was actually kind of gross. Yeah, that was kind of disgusting. Just sounds like sweat. I haven't cried in a while.

If masculinity were to taste like something, what would it taste like? Trees? Tires. Tires? Like toxic masculinity? I didn't say toxic. Oh.

Masculinity, what does it taste like? Wood. I would say yeah, it tastes like, like, uh, like... Wood. Wood, wood, like the way that wood chips smell. Like sawdust? Sawdust, yeah, yeah, yeah. If sawdust sawdust yeah yeah yeah if sawdust wouldn't kill me I'd probably eat it I don't think it will kill you if

you eat enough of it I mean you need enough of anything it'll kill you but like I think you can eat wood that's deep but I don't think you could eat wood can you eat wood do not look that up please look that up but I don't know that you can eat wood I think you could take a little like a spoonful of sawdust and be okay probably could but it would be very dusty It would be like doing the cinnamon challenge, but with wood. I mean, I know so I don't want to shit wood What what if it's really good for you eating wood? Yeah, what if it's really good? There's no question. It's not why not because we've run tests We're humans. Are you sure? I'm positive about that. Tell me about those tests then, Vic.

Frank, you don't think I've read all the clinical trials of eating wood? I do not think you've read all the clinical trials about eating wood. Yeah, I don't think there's any. But... I mean, honestly, just look up can you eat wood? Have you ever put dirt in your mouth? Yeah. Is it bad? Yeah.

It doesn't taste good? It tastes like dirt. It tastes like just like sediment and sand I put rocks in my mouth when I was younger. Yeah rocks taste good. I can't lie Well, I don't know about no you should not eat wood because it's difficult for humans. Yes. Okay, so maybe we shouldn't eat wood You need to go go to tell him that he couldn't believe me Rocks though rocks. I love how rock don't eat rocks Don't eat them, but they look delicious But when you're younger and you put a rock in like like a little lip like a zin like a rock You're packing lips of fucking pebbles

Yeah, I used to roll up rolly polly. Oh, he's I have a rock in my face like yeah They're the late 90s man. What a good time to be alive sniffing markers licking markers and The late 90s man, what a good time to be alive sniffing markers licking markers and glue I when I was you were just doing drugs for kids basically you were doing kid drugs I remember markers and glue I remember being young and being in the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror and holding on my tongue and and taking an orange washable marker and drawing on my hand Nothing no, I mean it had like a whack taste. You recently put paint on your mouth.

Did you get any with that? I put it on my lips. Did you? I didn't like that. It wasn't a good feeling. It wasn't a good feeling. But I did it. And you regretted it?

You live and you learn. Yeah. The important thing is that we're learning. And that's it. That's it. That's it. Live and learn. You're singing more songs than I know. Yeah, yeah important thing is is that we're learning and that's it. That's it. That's it You're singing more songs that I don't yeah, yeah, that's from Sonic Adventure 2

Well, we're gonna leave you with that folks Frank where can they find you Everywhere go find go find the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard Find me at the Frank Alvarez all over the place. Find The Basement Yard all over the place. Do I get another sign-off? All over the place? Yeah, all social media. OK, let me do my. You guys go follow me at Joe Sandigato. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram

at The Basement Yard. And if you're coming to any upcoming shows, the ones in Vancouver or the ones in the UK and Ireland, those are different things, which I've been told in my DMs and my wills and surprised by angry Irish people. You guys can go to thebasementyard.com slash submit. If you want to be a part of the show, submit your stuff. And we like to get a bunch of responses

so you can pick the best ones. And have a good time. Yeah, yeah, I'm excited. So go ahead, hit them with your sign-off. All right, all right, all right. Hey, it's warm down here. Come back sometime. Am I bad?

I thought you were signing off. Yeah, that's it. That's it. So we're staying in the basement, and they're going upstairs. Yeah, yeah. We'll be here in the basement. Come on down when you want to talk again.

No? All right. No. See you guys next time. We'll be playing in the basement. Say it. What did you say? We'll be playing in the basement.

It'll be just us and you. We're 30. Three. So that's crazy to say. I'm going to get the right one, and it's going to hit like a ton of bricks. But until next time, see you later. See you.