The Basement Yard - #491 - Joe's Birthday Episode

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

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Welcome back to the Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. Oh, you look excited. Yeah, you know why Recording not your birthday tomorrow No, no, but it is but is your birthday when this comes out to the pub when it comes out to the pubbies I'll be 33 years old Goddamn, it's divisible by 11, which means you'll be 3 11 year olds Is that weird? Yeah, that's very strange to say but I guess that's why no 3 11 year olds are all 11, dude But like if you stack them on top of each other like Muppet style not how age works

I just add if they're standing on top of their cumulatively if you put the knowledge of three 11 year olds together That's pretty much where you're at it could be high I Don't know I don't know how I feel about being 33 years. This is our it feels old as shit You know what someone fucked with me though one time and they said like you turned to what 33 but you just completed your 33rd Year like this is your 30. Yeah, like now I'm 30. You got to got to do like four technically yeah that's crazy that's we also did get absolutely eviscerated by the student like newspaper people at Penn State that told us that we're basically 40 years like he's close to four-year-old they said these 40 year old men can relate to 20 year old girls. I know it's like that is that hurts. Yeah, that hurt me a deeply

I'm all deep that now you're you're you're this much closer. You're this much closer to 40. How do you feel? Not good. Are you getting any of like the traditional because the minute you turn 30 it's like you're a hundred Are you getting like back pain and all that stuff? No, I actually really need sucks I mean, I hurt my knees skiing. I doesn't suck your knees sucks pretty bad. He's fine Oh, you got you that's right. I was confused you heard it sucking What the fuck are you laughing my birthday? It's good, it's all fun Well, you are we doing anything for your birthday by the way. We just hanging out. I mean we're going to Vancouver

Vancouver that's right. We're gonna be out there for the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival. By the time this comes out, some people might have already been to the show or, you know, but I'm excited. I've never been. You're...

I've never been to Vancouver. So wait, so this is also, we're treating this as like your little birthday trip? We don't have to do that. You hate... I might go to Miami this kid hates well how about you tell people so they can celebrate with you you just want to pick up and go to Miami my birthday's on a Tuesday it's fucking like I mean you know people like to celebrate with you make you do things with you I understand

that you know people want to spend time with you I understand you know now that you're basically 40 years old. Frankie. Also, you're like, how many months behind me? Four. Six. Five. Five months.

Five. Four. Five. Yeah. I'm only five months behind you. So it's not that crazy. I'm not 40, bro. Isn't it weird to think of that, though?

When you were a five-month-old baby, I was just born. Yeah, I was in this world, and you weren't in the world I know it's fucked up like the world the world without me sucks yeah a world without you was like Yeah. Huh? ["El Rincón de Cuatro Añadas"] ["El Rincón de Cuatro Añadas"] ["El Rincón de Cuatro Añadas"] ["El Rincón de Cuatro Añadas"] We came with pleasure and pleasure, happy and happy. What a day you gave us, our sky, oh, how beautiful it is. Wow, I mean

So yeah, I got you a birthday gift this is my birthday Okay, I mean I figured that you know we want you gift? This is your birthday gift? You sent this up? Okay. I mean, I figured that, you know, we want, you don't like celebrating your birthday. Those of you guys don't know Joe. He hates celebrating his birthday. So we had to do something. You know, me, Greg, and we got together. We wanted to do a little something.

I see this kid pick up a fucking camera and I'm like. He was very giddy. So he was like, yeah. But you know, obviously it's your birthday gift. So gentlemen, if you don't mind hit it Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! It was awesome. I mean, out of this world. That was incredible. That was way louder than I had.

Absolutely. This guy's an unbelievable whistler. You heard that whistle. Can you do the whistle? That's unbelievable. I don't know how anyone can whistle like that. Oh my god. That was pretty impressive.

Better than, better than, definitely better than you could sing. My heart rate is probably like 120. Really? Aw, well happy birthday. You know. Did you enjoy it? Did I? Yeah. Oh, I think, oh, is that money? Cause that's, I think he's paid for that. Yeah, yeah, alright, we're paid... Is that money? Because that's...

Yeah, yeah, alright, we're paid for that. Come out this way, guys. That was very good. And loud. If we don't get evicted, that'll be a shot. Yo, that whistle that this guy hit... World record. That's a pretty... And he did the Spanish whistle. The white woman whistle is

You know that one. Can you do that? No, I can't I want to learn though because no I can't people that could do that Whistle it's loud. It's very low bro. I suppose dad That's how he would signal for them to come home and eat all you would hear is just a whistle Yeah, dude, like a fucking like they were cattle Yeah I was gonna say like they're birds or some shit Becca too Becca she said she was like we'd be at the park and we'd hear my mom whistle and that's how we knew it was time to go home how far away from the park did they live I mean a whistle sound travels

that's crazy but he did the Spanish whistle which is just like yeah they just do it here that was incredible that was really really loud that was awesome so there you go you like that as a birthday gift yeah was cool. I didn't know that was on your bucket list You know such a white person bucket list like I want to see a mariachi band Why is that a white bucket list because like you should just do that like no? I'm just saying those are that's something that exists in the world. It'd be cool to experience that was pretty cool Yeah, that was pretty sick. Do you think you could play that horn? the trumpet you mean

It was like it not just a trumpet there was like a another aspect to it I don't know, but I mean I I can't The trumpets cool Louis Armstrong made it fucking cool really cool Yo, you want to hear some shit miles got gifted a saxophone the other day and I kinda wanna- From who? Bill Clinton? Who gives away saxophones? I think his dad was doing like a job and he found like- He got paid in saxophones? I think he got paid in saxophones.

But bro, I'm not even- not even gonna fucking lie. I was so jealous. Is it a child one or like a full one? It's a saxophone brother so that's bigger than his body Kenny G yeah this shit is big and brawling it's got a strap on it it has a it has like three on the strap and then a strap around and then like a full fucking saxophone dude like I feel like they they named that wrong it shouldn't be called a saxophone because it reminds me of a seahorse

ooo seahorsaphone I think sax is good because or like a horn horse it's a sexy horse horn a horse horn? a horse horn no bad one it sounds like your horses are coming towards you with a horse horn well I mean maybe that's what saxophones were originally used for

I'll tell you this right now if there was a horn that existed that you'd blow it and horses come towards you, I'm buying it. I'm sure there is. I mean, they have dog whistles. What does that make dogs do, though? Freak out. I think it's like- But I don't want dogs to freak out. I know. Well, I think it's used- well, there's no magic- Oh, it's like training. Yeah. They use it for like training, like, you know, just another way to torture fucking animals, as if they're not already hating us.

Yeah. Training like you know just another way to torture fucking animals as if they're not already hating us Yeah, but it should be it sounds Saxophones very sexy so it kind of makes any play it Miles was he was ripping some some stuff what nothing crazy. He wasn't fucking Kenny Jean it out Yeah, but like give him some time this kid pick. Yeah, that wasn't really good That's better. That's sounded like Like oh fuck I think a sax give him a couple he'll pick it up very quick me Yeah, give me some time I could also pick it up quick Are you gonna attempt to play the sax if he brings it home? It's at his dad's house right now

But if he brings it home, it's not going back to his father's house Let me make that need to get your own like mouth part read that's what it that's what it's called that's what it's called yeah I think I need to buy like made of wood I think they are they're like balsa wood it's like a thin yeah it's also like that and you have to like type you know type lip it you did that yeah I'm really upset I did that take the dick sucking thing thank you I mean you didn't need a call at that yeah I don't know what what you just called it the dick sucking thing just say the saxophone keep it no come on well I actually did get you another gift No more mariachi bands is there anyone else coming bring in the strippers yeah

No, you're not a stripper guy You're not I'm not I'm not a stripper guy the stripper. I don't get it When I was younger it was like what and now it's just like the idea of it was like cool But I think we're the last generation of people that like like you think strip clubs are fading not in Atlanta Why? Like the strip club capital of the world are they yeah really that in like Montreal or something Do you know I remember with the last time we went to Vegas? We're not the last time but like the time one the last time we went to Vegas, or not the last time, but like the time, one of the times we went to Vegas,

I wanted to go to a strip club out there because it's owned by the Godfather from WWE. That would be the reason why you go. Dude, how cool would it have been if we walk in and he's just fucking doing his Godfather thing and he can hit us with a, I don't think they can call it the Ho Train anymore, right? Why?

Well, I think on purpose he was calling it the Ho Train, like... Yeah, because he would come out with his... As he called them. Hoes. He called this. Well, we saw them as women. We did. I think he did too.

He just saw them... It was an act. I hope so. Yeah. Well, technically it wasn't an act if he owned a strip club. What was it called? Cheetahs I think. That's a strip club. That's definitely a strip club. Yeah, look up if strip clubs are going away.

If okay, I mean- Are less people going to strip clubs nowadays? Okay. We don't we don't know. I don't really know, but I did get you another gift. Actually technically I didn't get it for you. So I was able to get in touch with a good friend of mine who is a three-time slam poetry of the year winner. Oh, okay. Francisco. Yeah. And I, first of all, I hadn't seen him in a while. Right.

He's been pretty upset since sometime in November, a specific Tuesday in November he's been upset about. And then... What does it say on strip clubs ant I'm trying oh There is the American strip club dying out Analysis of the strip club market from 2014 to 2029 from Yahoo Finance, and I clicked that there was nothing on it Yahoo Finance Yahoo Finance doing you know really finding out the answer to that. I'm just gonna say yeah, yeah, okay, okay cool But so three times slam poach of the year, Francisco He I asked him for your 33rd birthday to write you a little poem

Yeah, and he wanted like a 40-minute rant about I have a feeling I'm gonna be offended by this I don't think so. Honestly, I really don't think so. So Francisco wrote you a brief poem He wanted me to read it to you. Okay, and are you gonna perform it as him? I mean, I can't that would be disrespectful. So you're just gonna read it to you okay and are you gonna perform it as him I mean I can't that would be disrespectful so you're just gonna read it I'm just gonna read it as he as he intended it as the Lord intended it okay okay so he said that this poem is called Joey right for you my birthday okay born white as milk Frank I knew that I wasn't gonna like this I just knew it born white as milk you have to perform it I can't I'm not I'm not Francisco I just

do your best impression do an impression of the guy dude I don't have people want to hear the impression I don't have his get up I don't have his getup. I don't have his do it. It's my birthday Born white as milk With hair that's dark, but has since gone gray all Alright, it's a couple of strands on the side. With a best friend whose looks are so astounding, some have even thought, is Joe gay? Did that- oh, gray and gay. I was like, does that even rhyme? Like, okay.

Little freckles. No, little freckles. Little freckles. Little boy playing football, basketball. Oh yay. Sports. Five foot a buck. Do you know there's a lot of discourse now I've seen on on Tiktok with people like, OK, how tall is he, though?

Oh, OK. Five foot, a buck, 10 pounds. His shirts look like dresses. His boxers look like shorts. Hair like silk, skin olive oil, gold. Joe doesn't have this but his best friend Frank has all of those ok yeah so we're using this is this is for my birthday by the way Joey lives life with a pencil dick Frankie what are you laughing at, Giggles? Shut the fuck up back there!

You fucking bullshit! Joey lives life with a pencil dick, where Frank? Garden hose. Yeah! Jalopy Joe? More like Sloppy Joe. He's a carbon copy of his mommy and poppy Joe. Making some pennies delivering pizza and working parties betting on himself. Now we're with Cocky Joe.

Everyone. Okay. Ah, a full media empire. King everyone settle down kids from humble and Nike Dunk fits. That's you. Little twink bitch adjacent instead of being a slut replacement he made videos in his basement now he's old and grey basically ancient trying to mark

the world You fucking bitch! You bastard! Little twink bitch adjacent... I'm gonna start. Yeah, I figured. Little twink bitch adjacent. Instead of being a slut replacement, he made videos in his basement. Now he's old and gray, basically ancient, trying to make his mark across the world like a scratch on pavement. That last part. No one has given me any snaps. Thank scratch on pavement. That last part. No one has given me any snaps.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I'm trying to be like Francisco. Across the world like a scratch on the pavement? Yeah. That makes sense. Why not? I don't know.

What does that mean? Don't play. Francisco wrote this. Right. Yeah, not you. Oh no. We've seen Nuck if you buck from afar, Joe. We've seen the only one that can fuck in a car, Joe. We've seen marathon. Yep picture. We've seen marathon Joe, billionaire Joe and even boxing

Joe too. But now we're here for your least favorite Joe. That's birthday Joe. Happy birthday to you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Francisco, he wanted to make sure you got that in time for your birthday. Right, he did. He did. And I did get it. What was your favorite line? Uh, none of it. Can I say that? Maybe before you just said happy birthday.

What about, I think this one was really really good. Hair like silk, skin olive oil gold, Joe doesn't have this. But his best friend Frank has all of those. Joe lives life with a pencil dick where Frank garden hose. Right, yeah no. Yeah no, that was nice. I mean, I think it was very.

It was thoughtful, it was for sure. You know, I thought it was really kind I do appreciate it it was a nice little gift jalopy Joe more like sloppy Joe he's a carbon copy of his mom and poppy Joe why did you yeah you started dropping bars there you like that right what why did you start calling me jalopy Joe back in the day I don't think I did I think it was a friend of ours at the time Chelsea I think she just started calling you jalopy Joe and a jalopy is like a fucked up car or something is it isn't it? What's a gelato? That was a lemon. Yeah, I'm lemon

Well, let me could be a fucked up anything like you could be like someone sells you a lemon Wait, what you never heard that saying like I got lemon is a jalopy they are now you're getting into a lot of Peter Yeah, an old car or in in dilapidated condition Dilapidated you're dilapidated Joe right which Like fucked up yeah, no, but like when someone says like oh you sold them a lemon like something that Looks like it works, but it doesn't work. I don't know why that why they do that with lemons wait

That's an expression like you sold me a lemon. Yeah. Yeah, you've heard that one, right? Yeah, not to be confused with lemon party. Yeah, right lemon party lemon party org, right which was Old men blowing each other were they blowing each other someone? Yeah, it was sure. Yeah, I ever tell you don't Start I heard tell you about the time? Oh my God. I don't know. I think I might've told you this. I had a family member post on social media, like, hey, I'm trying to put together some

different websites and places to donate to charities and stuff like that. Frankie, do not tell me that you did what I think you're about to say. And I responded like, yeah, I got you. I know of one that like it helps like struggling farmers across the U S or something like that. And you sent them to lemon party.org. No, they didn't

They posted it they posted like thank you to these people check out these websites And it was like thank you, and it was a slide a whole slide was just like lemonparty.org Was there like a photo or it was just the website it was just the website name Oh my god afterward the person contacted me. They were like you're the biggest piece of shit If you don't know by the way lemonparty.org. Pull it up. Is it still available? Don't pull it up Don't put it in the episode don't put it in the episode Josh cut this out Josh Lemon party that work if you go to the website, it's just a picture of old guys blowing each other Oh yeah it's still available and...

whoa we have a that was a fucking virus oops by the way we're not putting it in the episode but like the photo that we were talking about that when we were young people were like oh yo go to lemonparty.org it's a dope website and you would go and there's a picture of an old guy blowing another old guy and another old guy like Just hanging out directing. Yeah

We just went to that and it showed the picture for a second and then it just looked like the matrix And it was like your computer's gonna explode There was a line on there that said something like Eddie you guys drink pedialyte So something hey, what don't don't go back don't go back, but I am curious, but don't go back But yeah, no, that's that's Party what a while what lemon party is that like P? I imagine they were just trying to get something that would just throw people off the scent got me of could you imagine sex has

a smell we agree with that right yeah what does it smell like I don't know it's just like a like a like a just like a smell I can't equate it to a food or anything yeah but it has like a it has like a just like a raw just like I think that it's like if it was possible to be like like a raw piece of human meat okay now like that yeah if you took if you I'm with you here if you took us two sweaty thighs just the meat and just smash them together or like rubbed or rubbed them together. That's what I imagine it smells like I don't like it that much. Oh Do you like it? Yeah, you like a musty? I like it. Well, I don't know why you're calling it musty

When I think of musty I just mean like it's like potent well no musty it means something different I think it means like it's like there's like mildewy wetness to it Oh, that's not what I meant look up musty. We need to stop Musty definition having a state moldy or damp yeah, so yeah damp I guess technically it is musty, but like I don't it gets a little damp You know but Josh you having fun at it in this episode? Yeah, no. We're getting a text from him and he's like,

you guys are out of your fucking mind. You ever have sex in a room and it's like, okay, that was great. And then you walk out maybe to like whatever and then you come back in the room and you're like, whoa. It hits you like a fucking ton of bricks. That's when I'm kind of like, alright, we got to open. This is... Really? Yeah. Hell no, I live in that shit, baby. That's what I'm kind of like all right. We got open this is really yeah. I don't know I live in that shit, baby That's nasty no, right. Yeah, I mean it's a room. I'm not in a fucking box I'm saying this I'm not saying the room is nasty and be like it was just open a window. Let's get this smell out of here I mean

Ventilation people live in places that are you know apparently you walk in and out I Live in a well-ventilated home. I don't know about you bitch. What do you live in a well ventilated home I don't know about you bitch we live in a cigar bar there's always a thing just sucking the air out of the room I wish I lived in a cigar bar do you I'd probably be dead by now Frank I would be dead cigar bars are dangerous place dude we went to one in the city

and it was so cool they had good drinks good cigars but even I had to step out because I was like, holy shit. That was too, too, too, too much. I don't like being in them. I have very sensitive lungs, I think. I almost joined, yeah, I don't know. Please say it.

Go. I almost joined like a cigar, like as a member of a cigar club. Guys, I hope that people are paying attention here. I hope that people are paying attention to the Slowly the slow progression into a into a monster that this kid has become first of all first of all this was way before We started doing this show or anything this happened 2014 2015 This happened 2014, 2015. I was young.

There was a cigar lounge by my college that had just opened up and I went in to buy cigars and I was like, yo, this is sick. There was fucking pool tables. They had like a fucking bar, but like it was like BYOB and shit like that. They had all mixers and stuff. And I asked a guy, I was like, what is it to join? And it was like $50 a month. You get a locker,

you can come in whenever you want, you can bring whatever you want to drink, you get like 20% off of the cigars, and you live it up. What's wrong with that? I wanted to be a part of a group of men, a friend group of like, hang out with boys and friends, you know? In suits and just hang out.

No, no, no, I was gonna go and, you know, normal. Just like Have you ever smoked one of those really long ones church hills? Yeah, hell yeah, baby Or like I'm like bro. You remember one time we went in like, Connecticut and they're like we were just like looking around There was one that literally looked like that. Yeah, there's who's smoke. I've never buy yeah, there were some that were like they were like way too big you know just like an absolute just overkill and Anything more than that is it is not a good smoke It's useless

What's that egregious, and it was legit like as thick as like who's smoking those fucking adult cucumber. Yeah, and Yeah, no no no I've never I've had long ones like long skinny ones crazy that we're talking about Yeah, yeah, get him on the whole way. Have it one stand by But yeah, you know yeah full text across the top. Add some pop back. But, yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What were we talking about? Smoking poles. Whoa.

Smoking poles. And the word musty is still up on the screen. We do have some sponsors. We're going right to the sponsors. I think we have to from there. I mean what better way to transition into the sponsor? Any other ways. Watch this.

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And you know what? While you're cooking with Caraway, why don't you let us cook over at Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. We tell you guys about it every single week and by we, I mean me and by me, I mean hi, how you doing? Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard is another way to continue to support us. As you guys have seen by now, I mean, hi, how you doing? Patreon.com slash the basement yard is another way to continue to support us.

As you guys have seen by now, obviously, we're in a new studio, new digs. And that's because of not only our general support from all the people that love and support us, but also from the people over on Patreon. So patreon.com slash the basement yard, you sign up today, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance, and you sign up for that second tier,

you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with us while you're cooking while you're dancing while you're cleaning while you're driving doesn't matter what you're doing actually it does we don't want to hear about it patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you folks for all the love and all support go check it out and as you guys have seen we're going over to Europe for some shows and if you're coming over to those shows go to patreon excuse me the basement yard comm slash submit in order to fill out the questionnaire that we have there. We ask you guys some, you know, prompts, some

questions and you respond with some stories, fun, cool, crazy, scary, whatever and then maybe we talk to them, you know, to you or about them while we're at our shows. So for the shows that we have in Glasgow, Scotland, in London and in Dublin, go check out the Basementyard comm slash submit submit your responses. Maybe we'll talk to you about you. You never know but go check it out Thanks folks Joey back to you. Thanks Frank. Yeah No problem Well, no problem

It is we started the episode with a full mariachi band and then Francisco three times slam poetry the year winner. It's star-studded. It's a star-studded episode. Star-studded. Wait till you see who we got next Hit it, man We got nothing we've got nothing else I don't know what he wants me to do. Oh, yeah, that's it. By the way, I just found out. Oh, oh yeah. I just found out that at the end of Santa Gata Studios' videos.

Oh, the him? Bro, I had no idea that existed. Really? Apparently it's been going on a while. Quite some time. Yeah, a couple months at least. At the very end of the Santa Gata Studios' videos, which if you don't know,

youtube.com slash Santa Gata Studios be posted every week. But at the end of that, there used to be a song that would play, but apparently it got copyrighted. Yeah. So Ant's just been going at the end and going, ba ba ba da ba ba da ba ba.

Yeah, and he says something. He's like, they did this and da da da. Sometimes I think you put in one where you were like, I tried this food or something like that. There was something we did. He does commentary. Yeah. Bro, I had no idea this existed.

It's been going on a while. And we watched the video that just came out yesterday Well me and Greg on the drive home and then we're just watching it and we're like like laughing at it was the video with me and Keith and then Started playing through the speakers of my car. We were dying Supervisor he doesn't know what was going on under his own nose, dude. Congratulations. You won that one, Ant.

Yeah, he got me. But he but then we were like, is did he just do this for this video? And then we started watching the other ones. So there was like five in a row that we were listening to the end. It's way long. It's been months. Like, I honestly I feel like it was like maybe the summer. It's been a while. Yeah, I didn't know. It's like a super long time. So I'm now like now I'm gonna watch all the way through just to

hear and that that that that that that that that that that that and then do comment honestly you hit that shit I do sometimes dance when you record it a little bit a little bit right sometimes sometimes I send them to the merch store you know okay sometimes look at this guy there you go see he is he's getting it he's getting it. He's getting it. He's like, oh, give some people something for people to look forward to every single week.

What did Ant say this week? Oh yeah, maybe you should start putting in crazy things. Like start like, you know. Whatever that he's about to say is, we'll get you fired. No, it won't. No, it won't. Start saying crazy things. I can give you some stuff to say if you want.

We'll talk offline. I don't know if you saw Joey a couple weeks ago. We spoke about the jerk-off ban that was happening Did we talk about that? I know you've been bringing up to me. I've been telling you because it's a crazy story So yeah, Ohio lawmakers. This is Ohio. I didn't know that it's right here. It's next door, baby It's states away, but state away. It's like 10. No, it's not it's right Joey Ohio's Ohio's not one state away. Yes, it's it's there's one state in between us and Ohio pen Yeah, that's it. Is that truth? Yes. It is truth. Pull up map of truth Wait

Now I think that like No, yes, dude. There's two states in between us. There it is! You just said two now. No, I'm sorry, there's one state in between us. Is that true? Yes! Damn.

Go to Google Maps. Why are you looking up a picture of it? Literally just type... Don't go to Google Maps. There's the maps thing right there. I can see, yeah. It's right, literally right there. I drove to Ohio once but we had to go through West Virginia so I didn't know where that was.

Why did you have to go all the way down?? Don't just go like that sometimes you gotta like that Yeah, but there's why would it that doesn't even make sense you would I don't know I don't know you might have got lost and someone just try to blame it hold on Cuz now looking at this map you see how it kind of looks like veins or whatever yeah, I Saw a video, and I don't know how fucking true This is but I saw a video, and I don't know how fucking true this is, but I saw a video where it's like, I think it was like Japan, or it was an Asian country,

that like there was a fucking, like a bacteria or something, right? That you, can you try and find that? Yeah, I got it, I got it. I know what you're talking about. They mapped their like train system. Through this bacteria. It wasn't bacteria It was like mushrooms like fungus and shit. Yeah, and that's how they mapped

The way that they're like train system efficient way incredible. That is the most ridiculous thing and are you kidding me with that? Wait, is that the actual thing? It is this is what they did. No, that's what they did. I was looking for the videos Oh, yeah, we could like yeah. No, it's what they did. I was looking for the video so you could see it. Oh, yeah. We could like. Yeah, no. It's pretty. I don't know if it was Japan.

Oh, yeah. It was Tokyo. That's a three-minute video. Do the 39-second one right there. I got you. It's like Tokyo. All right, hold on. Let's watch this.

I mean, it's just growing out in a circle. Oh, the veins. I see the veins. So what they did was they put food sources on the specific cities that they want the trains to go to right and Then they use the fungus to map the best way to those food sources aka cities and they wrote that that is Unbelievable mad smart that is unbelievable bro Becca watched like a fucking documentary on mushrooms one day, and it was like They are like connected through the soil across the whole planet

That makes me believe I mean not that I don't believe but like doing mushrooms would probably have like this like well There are people they like swear by psychedelics. Yeah, they they micro dose every day. I can't do that I would I would not not that I've ever done them, so I don't know what the effect is but like I Imagine it's not fun. Why I mean if you do like an insane amount. But what does micro dosing do? It gets you high. Stuff. No, it's not necessarily like a high,

like you don't get like high, but you get like something. It's like it does something. You get high, yeah. You get high. Just say it, brother. No. Yeah.

You don't even know! I know, I don't. No, like it's crazy. That's why like, honestly, Last of Us kind of does scare me a little bit because, like, if the mushrooms, if, like, bacteria decide to turn on us- Well, that shit is real. That strain of fungus is real, cordyceps. And that's actually what it does.

It just doesn't do it to humans. It does it to ants. What does it do? It takes over their brain and then makes them act, like, super aggressively. Why do you look up goo? What? No, I was just going to Google. Don't. Stop. Stop. It takes over their brain and then makes them act like super aggressively. Why do you look up goo? No, I'm just going to Google Goo Yeah, no look there's like spiders and animals that like

Cordyceps will take over their fucking brain and turn them into zombies and shit, bro I can't I can't you get this is real shit, dude. I know that's why I'm talking about it there's no way I'm dying in a zombie apocalypse though I would need guns yeah duh what do you mean you would need guns like you just broke the fucking no like you would need guns oh how would you survive with those bro imagine being in here and we just have ammo but that that that that that yeah but we would need food and the way that Greg we'll run out of food in an hour. Yeah, that's true. This fucking little snack boy.

Yeah, no. But he'd probably be good at finding the crumbs around here. He does eat like a little rodent. He does. He eats like a little rodent. He'll find him. He's like, oh my god. I'm gonna say this.

I picked up his book, because it's over there. Do you see his lips? What are you talking about? He's got, do you see the picture of him? Yeah, he's got an old picture. Yeah, it looks like he just got done. You know I'm on that book. Like, in it? No, like I'm on the cover. Oh, like the picture of you? Yeah, it's like you know what? No, no, no, like you know it's like, oh so-and-so said, yeah. Yeah, so this is the best book I've ever read he's got I'm just gonna say this that picture look at his lips what's wrong with them just looks like he got done doing something very fresh why are they like

thick and small they're a little like I've never seen Greg's lips like that outside of that time that you and him shared that room in Pittsburgh or so dude that's so fucking good and funny. Yeah, but so Ohio introduced it was literally it's a ban on Yeah, contraception begins an erection act, which what does that even Hey, man, we're not going to get into the whole debate along because it could be the law in Ohio, which would make it illegal for men to have sex without intent to make a

baby. So that I fucking this is the Christians have a baby. So that includes- Alright bro, fuck it. The Christians have gone too far with this. That includes jerking off. This is insane. State Representative Anita Samani and Tristan Rader announced their plans in a Blue Sky video explaining the legislation's purpose. It was initially introduced in Mississippi by Senator Bradford Blackmon and is now going

to the legislative floor. The bill will make it illegal to discharge semen or genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo. What is genetic material if not semen? Yeah, that's a great question. OK. No, no, no, no. You don't have to look that up. Don't look that up.

Here are the penalties. OK, go. For the first offense, a thousand dollars. To beat it? Yeah, but like a person of the court has to catch you. Oh, the bill is expected to make clear exceptions for contraceptives, masturbation, and LGBTQIA people. There you go, you dumbass. But still, that means that...

So, but you can't... That means sex. So that means that sex without intent of fertilizing an embryo the first offense is a thousand dollars second offense five thousand dollars so you can any subsequent offense ten thousand dollars yeah I say this right now I'm racking up a bill god damn holy! Clip that! Clip that and put this emoji! The sweating one that's That's the emoji

that they use for you. Oh, the red face one? The red face and it's sweating. Wait, so I'm confused by this. The exceptions are, you said contraceptives? It said contraceptives. So if I'm wearing a condom? I guess so. It says masturbation, so I guess they allow it.'re you're safe

Don't worry jerk off King. No, but you and It says you know people the LGBTQIA plus community are safe as well Oh, so the so gay people don't raw dog each other and it's nothing but the straights Make it harder to be straight in this country and white and straight the weight and having a ton of money The weight of this is getting insane Yeah, yeah, no, but what does this mean that you can't have I imagine yes So like that's what I imagine it would mean is it like if you got forces. I mean if someone reports you I'm telling you right now if we ever do a show

okay where you going with this? Can you imagine just like bro could you imagine like that's crazy right like that is some legit like handmaid's tale shit like they're controlling they're controlling where semen is going right wild right? as bananas some of us will be safe was that what was

that what were you gonna say how do you get caught I'm saying I just someone reports you who your neighbors like peaking like I saw them having raw stuff maybe or like in conversation you know just be like yeah didn't use a condom or something they'll just be like who says that I'm sure they're gonna say if people are like together. I'm assuming they're not using condoms. I mean, I Don't know I say this marry people using condoms kind of kind of crazy people do some people do because they want to avoid I mean, it's not weird. Yeah, Some people want to avoid getting pregnant and you know the woman might not want to go on birth control the man might not Want to get his shit snipped? I'm gonna get killed for that now that I think yeah, you're done. Yeah

Okay, murder for that. Yeah, you're dead. You're dead. Can't have an opinion. No Give me a straight white male with a ton of money and an opinion anymore, huh? We can't see anything Man it is crazy. I think I do think if oh, oh wait no never mind I mean, I imagine the law will write in like how to enforce it and shit like that broke Could you imagine being a cop? Should be like holding up a black light. What's that? What is that? That is, that's weird. I think that's an invasion of pride.

Yeah, duh. Like that's crazy. Absolutely. It's also super weird that like, we're in this weird place in the world, or not the world, the US, where it's just like, make more babies. We're not gonna care for them once they're actually out, and we're not gonna help them survive their whole fucking life but make them and put them into the world so we can take advantage of them and take

their taxes. Let's get that universal healthcare going before we start making some crazy bills like this. I mean or just kill this bill. I thought you were going to go, kill whoever made the bill. No, no, no, no. I don't want to. We'll just kill the legislature. I don't want to say that a kill whoever made the film. No, no, no, no, I don't wanna. I would just kill the legislature.

I don't wanna say that. This is, this is. Yeah, obviously, I mean, does, do you think, I don't, what the fuck? Can't even talk, bro. There's, I can't, I do that so often that there is compilations on TikTok of me just not being able to speak.

Yeah, well, the world is starting to realize how stupid you are. Oh, here we go. The smartest guy. There he is. I mean, I wouldn't say smartest. I would definitely say. I wouldn't either. I would. Not a thing anyone would. I wouldn't sit here and profess to being someone of incredibly higher intellect.

He's trying to say words and shit. You think you could you said cordu said cordial steps before you smart guy? Cordyceps dude you know cordyceps. Yeah, you're the mushroom guy too. I I mean I have mushroom stuff every morning I have a mushroom drink every morning. I do I don't want to say the name of the company I want to give him a free plug, but because you're a money hungry bitch Is that why cuz I'm a cheap bastard cuz I'm a cheap fuck Yeah, it's like a it's like cordyceps Rishi Rishi Rishi you're asking me Chaga lion's mane

What's that a mushroom? Yeah? You never seen it? It looks like a ball with hair on it makes sense why they would call it Yeah, dude. It's pretty good actually you ever this is a weird question, but stay with me all right here We are have you ever bitten a dandelion's head? I've eaten a dandelion, yeah. It's not good. Yeah, it's very bitter. Not that, well I'm not going for that. I meant like, it's so hairy.

Are you talking when it's like in the like the the wisher? Yeah, before you blow your wish, you bite it. And you're like, now I got your hair. No, that I'm not done because- Really? Why would I do that? I was just curious, I was a kid, I'm curious. wish, you bite it. And you're like, now I got your hair. No, that I'm not done because... Really? Why would I do that? I was just curious. I was a kid and curious.

That makes sense, honestly. I've eaten like dandelion greens and stuff like that. No, no, no. And it's very bitter. I'm talking about out of the ground and you're about to make a wish, be like, this looks like Albert Einstein's head. I want to make dandelion wine one day. Actually, I've heard it's pretty good.

Dandelion? That's so weird because the liquor store in my neighborhood is called Dandelion wine. Yeah that's like a real thing it's like I know someone that like growing up they had like a you know a big like farm and they would pick the dandelions and make dandelion wine. Sounds like it would be disgusting. I don't know I've never had it have you had it? No I don't know. Well Greg had it been there seen it made it. One time aunt got me a wine as had it. Have you had it? No. I don't know. Greg, Greg. Had it, been there, seen it, made it. One time, Aunt got me a wine as a gift. Oh my god. What did you get that for me for Christmas or something?

It was a cranberry wine. It was a cranberry wine? I hate cranberries. I was excited because I like. Yeah, you like different types of wine. Yeah, and I was like, oh, cool. I hate cranberries. I hate cranberry juice.

Not for me. That shit was so bad. Really? And I had to text her. I was like, yo, I appreciate the gift. This sucks. I was like, I was just letting you know. I wanted to try like we've had orange wine Yeah, we had that at your place. I want to try like blueberry wine like

Blueberry wine. Yeah, you can make wine out of any fruit basically. Yeah Just stick with the grapes. Yeah. Yeah. I would stick with that. Is there a guy online that makes like wine or something? Mead. Mead. He makes mead out of like Mountain Dew. Yeah, yeah. I would try it. I would take a sip, but I have a feeling I would hate it.

Why? It's just the sugar breaks down and turns into alcohol. It must be insanely alcoholic if it's fucking Mountain Dew. Oh, yeah That's probably a lot of sugar Mountain Dew you a Mountain Dew guy absolutely. Oh, I used to like I haven't tried Baja blast and you know me I'm a big never had and I've never been blasted by the Baja Bahaman yeah Was that comedian that does the whole bit on the Bahaman? We what's the bit?

You know what I'm talking about, right? The Baja Men who let the dogs out? He like did a bit where he's just like how many Baja Men can you name? They've won like 30 Grammys or something like that. No way. I don't know about 30 but they've won a good amount of Grammys. One would be more than I thought they would have. No, they've won, look up how many Grammys have the Baja Men won? Right under Musty, They've won. Look up how many Grammys have the Baja men won? Right under musty, right under. Where's Ohio? Musty and goo. The Baja men.

So it looks like it might be only one. I think it's one. All right. Well, one. Yeah, they have one nomination. They're one for one. Best dance recording. OK, that makes sense. Song was a smash. Why do I think that this person, that they had multiple, isn't that song about ugly,

It's about like ugly women, like who, That's fucked up. You know, it was like the party was nice, the party was jumping, hey, yippie-yay-o, and everyone was having a, ha, ha, ha, ha. I love how you're like, it's something like, you know the lyrics. Yeah, what happened to the Baja man they're

probably still just raking it in probably to that what 1999 that song came out or something like that was it it was at our fifth grade graduation I mean every song was at a Mambo number five was at our fifth grade graduation that also came out like 98 yeah Lou Vega is probably still raking it in who Lou Vega. Oh the guy mambo number five, you know boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom That song fucking still hits 50 year old white people love that song. All right You're gonna be there one day. You'll be an old white. Yeah, you're kind of getting pretty close, right? rank

These old white songs, okay, okay blindly How many you got I'm gonna give you five? Okay, and you tell me what you think about them These old white songs okay, okay? blindly How many you got I'm gonna give you five okay, and you tell me what you think about them, okay? I'm gonna give you the five songs and then you tell me which ones are like your least favorite to favorite okay? mambo number five Who let the dogs out wait no Blind let them dumbass let them put them in a ranking well, then you know the first two then I'll put who let the dogs out at four Wait, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no The Macarena. How does the song go? I'm not going to do it. You got a nice try.

I don't want to offend anyone by trying to sing the Macarena. What language is that? I believe some of it is in Spanish. Then you should be good. I mean, not that good. You know that I can sing the words to the Macarena. I can't remember the beat in my head. I never wanted a Macarena.

You're right, that is offensive. I'm the moon in the me a Macarena. You're right that is offensive I'm in the me a cosa buena That's a good one Alright, I'll put it at two so I have one in five now. Okay, so you gotta go bigger go home Yeah, September by Earth Wind and Fire one. That's a great song is ridiculous. Oh good Yeah, so so so good and then the last one was gonna be the Pudge of Allegiance. So crazy Joe Yeah, you're a star spangled banner. He put last dude. I know Pudge of Allegiance is star spangled banner last They're fucking one in the same in his book. He put it last he put it last

America get him September. That's a good one though. Yeah, that is a really good I love when that song comes on at weddings There's an even better Earth Wind and Fire song called Boogie Wonderland that when that song comes on I am not severance. Frank is gone new guy Frank A shows up and dances to Boogie Wonderland. Love that. You know what song I hate? The electric slide. You can feel it It's electric. Boogie, boogie, boogie. I feel it. It's electric

I like it. I see my aunt. Oh Yeah, oh white people love that and your aunt's white. Yeah, I believe yeah What other or like like all those like wedding song Oh Cotton Eye Joe, dude? Someone recently we talked about it a couple of weeks like months months ago or a year ago, on a previous episode. And we like, thought like, there's gotta be something about it that's racist. And someone looked it up and was like, yeah. Really? I think it has like a...

Badda bing badda badda. No, if it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where'd you come from? Cotton? I Joe? Yeah, I don't know what that means, but it yeah, it feels like there's an undertone There it does feel like there's something there. What are those? What other one cupid shuffle? That's a great That's a good one. Oh, yeah, do the lap do the lap. We're missing the Cha-cha we're gonna get funky See yeah, that one like got played out for me very really I still love it when I was like in fifth and sixth grade

Yo fifth grade was the perfect time to be into the fucking reverse reverse or whatever one when we've Spoken about this Charlie Brown everyone just like what do we it was like? I don't know what the Charlie Brown Yeah, no no no like that's too vague. You're telling us to step to the left and to the right What are all like super popular wedding songs like I I'm sure I? Know we did an episode on this yeah, yeah, we just completely forgot what are the songs available at page? I'm not supposed to be so now go check it out. We have like the ones that are like instructions though Cuz this one's a yeah Like instructional dance roll also. I honestly think there should be a federal law now that we're passing ridiculous laws in this country

Yeah, no jerking off. No coming and yeah, no nothing fucking whatever else we got going on here I think that it should be a federal law written into federal law I want to dance with somebody by when he has every single fuck hold the fuck on YMCA somebody by when he had every single fuck hold the fuck on ymca banger i mean it's kind of been taken now i don't love the most normal people and given to i don't love the ymca i i love it at Yankee games the time warp that i hate love the time you would love that i have danced so hard to the time or more I remember doing it the wobble can kill itself what's the wobble oh my god wobble baby wobble baby wobble dude that song fucking pop out its arsenic tooth and chomp down hard the hokey pokey if I ever go to a

hokey pokey and I hear the chop and I hear that song I'm I'm rescinding whatever gift I've given to that couple. I better be at a kindergarten, like, class party or some shit. Yo, when I was in college, emphasis on the when I was in college, the wobble was like the thing that people did, so like, at all the fraternity and sorority parties, someone would put it on as a joke, and they were like, the cool kids would be like, oh, I can't dance, but I... And I was just like, you guys all suck. I hated it. Hated the Wobba.

They didn't include me. Crank that, that's fire. Soldier boy. Soldier boy, damn. All right. Soldier boy, tell them. Gangnam style, the twist. I've never been to a wedding that has the twist. Oh, I've been to one with the twist, it hits., the twist. I've never been to a wedding that has the twist.

Oh, I've been to one with the twist. It hits. Into the twist. I love the twist. It's good, it's good. Also, a Sanagata wedding favorite, shout. I love how you say a Sanagata, a white wedding favorite. Any white wedding has shout. Yo, I've been to a lot of weddings where they don't have it. I don't think I've been to a single wedding that doesn't have shout Well, you probably know a lot of deep whites then because I've been to white weddings

and they didn't have it and I'm like pissed. Famously we went to a wedding back in October with the Halloween drinks and There's a video. Yeah, there's a video because I had a couple drinks and I was emotional. It was a tough night for me, okay? Frank was... It's a tough night. Crying harder than I've ever seen. Bro, it was crazy. I'm not going to tell why, but there was... I'm not going to tell you why.

It was the... It starts with A and ends with, look, a hole. Look, a hole. But they were... There's a video of them when they did the And people get down and I'm in the background and I my shirts ripped open Yeah, and I'm hanging on my brother, and I'm just like He's like and then there's people

And there are people that are telling because they won't stop doing that until I get down there's people yelling at me They're like get down and I was like yeah I remember yeah it's good time a little bit louder now a little bit louder now what else is boogie what's that that sounds familiar boot scootin boogie what the hell is this what about happy by Pharrell how do you feel about that song I so I don't like it for weddings but like it's one of Ruby's favorite songs to dance to so like because of that I like it she calls it happy dancing that makes sense so she's just like where was the thing like when she was like younger she would go like I go what you go happy day say it was so

fucking cute your daughter was like a weird voice like that yeah like she was fucking oh hell payment you know like know like that you've never seen fucking Hereditary you've seen hereditary. Yeah, I have great move. I actually just forgot about that It's a really really good before we get the chicken dance before we get more into the songs. We do have some more This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so through BetterHelp.

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Okay, so that is 50% off at Omaha Steaks.com and an extra $30 off with the promo code BasementYard at checkout. So you're saving a bunch of money there on these steaks jump on this deal I am telling you right now. Okay. So go get yourself some nice steaks. All right, folks. All right. Lastly, we have to talk about what is probably the most viral thing in the world right now. Yeah. Yeah, we know. We know. We know we were getting to this. Yo, if you guys are living under a rock, Yo, if you guys are living under a rock, allow us to lift it up and skip it across a pond, because this is the greatest thing that's hit the internet,

and I don't even know how long. So it's a Spanish version of basically Temptation Island. And Becca used to watch it. It's like the idea is like couples that are kind of shaky Go on to a show and like the island and like they're supposed to like Have temptation to see if they're strong enough to stay together Yeah, they put them in a house basically they take a couple who's on the rocks They put them in separate houses, and they surround them with hot single people

It's like a recipe for and not only is hot people, but like each other's like significant others too, right? Like I don't really know. I think that everyone's maybe there. Like a lot of the people who are on the show are there doing the same thing, but there's also single people. I think I don't just like they throw them in to just, yeah, just terrorize. And it's like, oh, let's see if there's temptation. Let's see if we actually, which is the dumbest. Let me be very clear about something something I don't care listen. I am well aware. There are different dynamics and different relationships and all that if you're going on this show You shouldn't be together. Yeah Period if the idea is like let's see if we want to fuck other people on TV to see if we'll stay together It is nuts. Let's put a bunch of people in a tropical island house

in underwear all the time and with alcohol and cameras. Yeah, so this thing hit the internet. Unbelievable. This dude Montoya, man, he's really going through it. Basically, for those who don't speak Spanish, I'm raising my hand over here Well, I'm just gonna describe what happens in the video and you guys can kind of see it I'll give you a rundown of what's going on. But just a preface. I don't think we can show this I mean, maybe we could show some of it

Beyond standby Josh be a very careful. Okay. Thank you. Where can I talk to him? What what do you need? Ask him how he's doing. Okay, thank you. Where can I talk to him? What do you need? Ask him how he's doing. How you doing? Good? There's no one there. Oh, okay. So this dude, his girlfriend is in the other house and also what they do on the show

because they are the biggest inscaters in the world, they have security cameras everywhere. Everywhere, bro, in the toilets, basically. So if your partner is talking to someone or they're out on a date with Someone or they're like in the pool and they're getting kind of close or they're kissing or whatever's going on they will show the your their partner a Video of it, and he's watching a video of his partner hooking up with someone else so let's let's talk This is a two-minute clip you are you gonna give the play-by-play? We'll do play-by-play.

Welcome back to San Agato Sports. Frank Alvarez here with my commentary. Joe, how you doing? I'm good. Alright, well we got our boy Montoya here. You wanna just full screen? Actually, no, leave it like that. That's fine.

You can just play it. Not a good look. Just move the mouse. That's Montoya. So, yeah, that's Montoya. That's his girlfriend getting kissed by a man. Well, he didn't kiss her there. He licked her mouth. He licked her mouth. Just put it. Not a good look. Just move the mouse. That's Montoya. So yeah, that's Montoya. That's his girlfriend getting kissed by a man. Well, she didn't kiss her there. He licked her mouth.

Which is worse than a kiss. Way worse than a kiss, dude. Because that has sex behind it. And right now he's screaming at the TV. And she's like, and I think this guy is fucking... I'm getting in his underwear. In his underwear, and I think she says like I want to go to sleep sleep. And he's like, all right, let's turn the lights off. Which is like not what you want here. That woman that you're seeing is like the host of the show. Oh my goodness. Or they might not even be seeing it, but lights go off. Montoya immediately.

Yeah, he's like, I'm out. He's pointing to the water. He's like, I need to go there. He's like, I'm going to go swim across the ocean. He could go. And then they put the night vision on. And then the night vision goes on, of course, and he's still watching. Now, he is very emotional, as you would be if you watched your partner that you presumably love a lot,

about to enter the den of the beast. And there's no way else to describe this as just... Joey, I don't think you've seen steeper hills in Switzerland when you were out there. It's going downhill for a year. This is pretty bad. I, you know, once you start... Well, and there he goes. He's off to the races.

So these houses, by the way, are down the beach from each other. So he's running right now. He's not running. He is in a full sprint. He's in a sprint. And he's running right now. He's not running. He is in a full sprint in a sprint And he's screaming and then the host is yelling at him. My boy up or favor, please come back here Bang a key or favor. Yeah, and he's heading down to the other house to try and stop this hookup from happening Unfortunately, it is too late and let's face

He's pulling up to the house right now and he's screaming they cut to that's what I she is and then there's just other naked people in the hot tub so they keep cutting back as he picks up speed on the beach you can turn it off at this point okay so yeah as he picks up speed on the beach yeah she is now getting rabbit fucked by this other guy. I don't know if she was doing, if she was the rabbit or he was there. It looks like they switched positions. If you go back and we do a play-by-play here, you could see at one point, Joe, you could see at one

point that she is on the receiving end of said rabbit fuck and then does go on top in order to contribute to said it's a rough go for sure. And like, first of all, the editor, that guy, congratulations. Will never be paid enough for this. For what they, I mean, crazy, you immediately went with it, it's a man. Just other naked people. Yeah, I mean, Josh immediately went with them, it's a man. Just other naked people.

Yeah, I mean Josh, don't put that in. Because Ann's got a freeze frame right now. But yeah, it's kind of wild. As he's running on the beach and they cut to her, it's really like a jack hammering going on. And what made it worse is as he's sprinting harder They're going hard. They're going it almost it's almost like his legs are connected to their There was a weird like you know how people say like there's like weird

Universal connections like we have a connection to the stars the moon and just the general feeling of the universe however the moon and just the general feeling of the universe however our creator made us put a very specific connection between this man's sprint speed and them having rabbit rabbit jackhammering coitus it's it sounds like a fucking thunderclap in there like it was it was a lot and and honestly I would like to see because listen Maybe if he didn't run so fast on the beach it

Would have been slower. Do you know what I'm saying or maybe if he started walking backwards none of this would have ever happened You know what I mean? I? There is no possible way that you as a couple make it out of this out of this is and you know what if she we don't know the other side of the story we don't know if he was like a real piece of shit or something it's quite possible I did read something that he like got a lap dance so like this is like payback for that but we don't we don't know I mean how do you quantify a lap dance to like that's your payback that's like someone shooting a BB gun at

you and then you dropping a mega tongue nuke on them but again we don't know maybe maybe this to Montoya deserves I will say this to he technically didn't see the actual sex of it all. He took off. Honestly, good for him. It was a great time to take off. Because if you would have saw the rest of that, that TV is coming off the hinges. Oh my god, and there was another clip

where he like kicks a TV or a screen or something like that. And there's more sex in that clip. And it was intense. Here's what I will say. my heart goes out to these people I hope that they work it out. I don't I hope that they go separate ways We don't know who's right or wrong in this situation. All I know is that the editing is fire. That's all I know It's great TV. Do you think it's like if he's ever like if he ever hears

Like someone loudly having sex he he gets a form of like, maybe, maybe. Like triggers something in him. He'll be reminded. Yeah, and he's just like, oh no. Yeah, yeah. Like rain on a tin roof. You're like, oh God, Isaiah.

This reminds me of when we were on that show. Absolutely crazy. We wish the best for them as individuals separately because this is over. Yeah, I think this- You can't come back from this as a person. Yeah, I think so. I think so, that's a rough one.

You can't not. But we as a person. Yeah, I think so. I think so. That's a rough one. But we we we hope that they're great and good and, you know, it's amazing. Unbelievable. I mean, go watch the show, I guess, because I mean, I think that this show is probably getting like millions and millions of viewers now per episode. These people will be rich forever because of this. I mean not these two people but probably the fucking show producers of the show yeah. I mean no those two people are also probably going to be on like every single show. You know because you

know how I feel I believe all reality tv is staged I really do. Okay. You know that there are American producers of Temptation Island right now that are just like guys on this next season You need to turn it up like they are like we need to create our own Montoya por favor Yeah, you know or they bring this guy on the show. That'd be great. And oh my goodness Yeah, he has been through enough that is they are in the TV Hall of Fame now, is that what that is What the TV Hall of Fame now like that just exists in my head. I just what else is in there? Like Jersey Shore So Jersey Shore and Montoya, Porfavor are the only two things you could think of in the TV Hall of Fame

I'm sure there's more give me more No, okay. Yeah Fair yeah, I don't know It is what it is frank yeah fair yeah I don't know I don't know like I my brain is so mush why bro do you understand it's a rough one like I remember when I was in high school I had heard that my girlfriend like kissed another guy and I the crash out that I probably had good use of some gen Z slang you like that right that's a crash dude that's a fucking ten car pileup crash out that is bad the definition I like I couldn't oh my god yeah like unbelievable unbelievable You can't come back from that

Good on them, I guess. Montoya. All right. Well, I think that's where we can end the video Bigger this is better. This is the basement boys live large raw in the basement birthday episode I this was your birthday episode happy birthday understand. It was your birthday episode. Happy birthday. Thank you. I appreciate the gift. Well, you know, the gift that keeps on giving. That's me. And the poem and everything. If I'm not going to do anything else, I'm going to make you happy for your birthday. Thank you.

I appreciate that. They're still here!