The Basement Yard - #495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

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Welcome back to the base- BASS MENYARD Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, you seem like you're focused on something. Well Joey, I am the danger. I am the one who knocks. Frank's watching Breaking Bad at home and that's pretty evident. Frank's watching Breaking Bad at home and that's pretty evident. It is a problem. I'll admit it. When I get into shows they become my whole personality sometimes.

And that's okay. So you're gonna start cooking meth? I'm not gonna start cooking meth. Do you think you'd be good at cooking meth? No, because I have no knowledge of chemistry. Although, I will say this. It's probably just like cooking. I am confident enough. What are you doing?

You're looking at us like something's going on because you guys were talking about cooking Yeah, oh I think it's just similar to cooking if you're good cook. I think you're a good cook No, but I think like there's like titration and like what's that? polymerization and That's a Pokemon card No, you might have been you yeah, yeah, but like polymerization and chemistry. I don't know enough about chemistry I am confident though that if I did want to learn chemistry. I'd be able to do it I

Don't think you need to learn chemistry, bro. The other guy became really good at it, and he's an idiot Well cuz he was watching him and he was a fucking master chemist. He was cooking his own You could cook good enough meth. I don't don't be down on yourself. You can come in I'm not trying to cook my you think that very good. You do a great job. They're very clear I'm not cooking meth. I'm not I don't have it in me to cook meth. I wouldn't be a good meth cooker I wouldn't do it because I heard it explodes. Well isn't be a good meth cooker. I wouldn't do it because I heard it explodes. Well isn't it like- If you're bad. I heard that it's like one little switch and it's like you make mustard gas instead of meth or something like that.

That's what I mean, yeah you die. Well that's not good. Yeah, but I would like to wear a gas mask. Those are cool. Oh I'm trying to think if I ever wore a gas mask. Bro, I used to think that gas masks were so cool Well because you were like a Banksy You know kid who like you know Let me guess you love the picture of Banksy throwing the flowers and you want a gas mask because it's culture and it's anti-art

And Virgil Abloh would like it because of off-white I'm shocked. You know that Virgil like did off-white I'm shocked you know that Virgil like did off-white but RIP yeah make that very clear I'm not speaking ill of this man no I when I was like very young I think I was just really into that I mean from like ninjas to like gas masks masks a lot of masks yeah I could see that I can see why you know I think it probably is like an inner personality trait. Like it's something that you want to find a new mask to wear because the masks that

we wear are what we allow people to see of us. And there are the masks that we don't wear at home or when we're feeling the most comfortable with our loved ones, with the people in our lives that enjoy us the most, that see us as we naturally really truly are like for instance, uh-huh is Batman The mask or is Bruce Wayne the mask. That's a great question, Joey And I love that you can't come up with an example that isn't a comic book reference. All right Let's let's let's use another the flash Superman. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Stanley Ipkiss

Who is the mask there? Is it Stanley Ipkiss or is it the Loki mask that he finds at the bottom of the water? For those of you who don't know what Frank's talking about. He is referencing the 1997 yikes five yikes eight yikes. Am I warm? You're in the 90s 94 Yikes am I warm? You're in the 90s 94 Yeah, give me the year yeah, 94 and before you 94 smash hit Jim Carrey in the mask the mask he had three movies that year the mask dumb and dumber and

The first is Ventura. What a year. What a year big year for big old teeth Jim Well, he didn't have big teeth, just think. No, he's got. Do you think if you were to be, uh, make, uh, like create your own drug, we're back to the drugs by the way, are you doing meth? Are you going something a little less? You just said create your own drug. Oh, you mean like cook it? Like you can cook it or make it, you know? Oh! I saw once there was a video of Gordon Ramsay when people were making cocaine. You know how like certain people get to it's just like

Gordon Ramsay was making cocaine? He was with people that were making cocaine. He was with people making cocaine? Yeah, it was like one of those- You ever see those like documentaries? I'm picturing him! You dickhead! You pink-

It's raw! It's raw cocaine! It's raw cocaine! let me take it's frozen nobody this is fucking garbage no I coffee boy doesn't go big because hey because he goes donkey don't don't keep well he was like you fucking donkey cut it up feed you easy oh And he gets he always like he's like so defeated by oh Like I saw one where wolfgang puck was there. He's like oh, it's wolfgang Yeah, you know I saw that recently at someone served him a steak at his own and walking puck was like a butt is this

This is not I have no idea what is it? It's too raw. It was pork. That's what it might. Oh poor. You don't want raw pork I can be a little dangerous when I was in Europe. I ordered pork and the guy's like We order we we do it red here. Yes. I know what get that. He's like. He's like, yeah I'm just letting you know. No, I was like, I don't have the stomach. I'm an American Yeah, so cook the fuck out of red pork. Yeah, that's how they serve it there. No, no, I was like I don't have the stomach. I'm an American. Yeah, so cook the fuck out of red pork Yeah, they that's how they serve it there. No no I was too afraid. I was like I like that, bro I did see what there was like a place in like Japan that did like chicken sashimi

You're you you have a better chance of bananas of eating me eating a whole thing of mustard like I'm not that's crazy But back to the wait one second on Japan. I don't know if it's Japan feels like Japan Mm-hmm you ever see the videos of them making that omelet. That's like wet hell. Yeah, it's a cool video, but I'm like I've tried it and I what where in my home. What do you mean where oh? I thought you went and tried it at a restaurant no no no I've tried to make it because it's like you make you a chopsticks they I tried using chopsticks and How many attempts three own one attempt because it failed? gloriously, but like they like cook it and then they like fold and they roll it and they like

Rice cutting it is very apparently that's like a like the originator of it the founder of those omelets. Yeah Like the originator of it the founder of those omelets. Yeah He apparently it's like a super exclusive restaurant to get into so like I know if you go to Japan that's on your no I'm not I'm not no. I don't like soaking wet eggs. I Don't like dry eggs, but like something in between but those are like well, they're cooked. They're safe. Like you're you're you're okay Maybe I would do it. You ever had to go. I remember I told you about the Gordon Ramsay eggs, right in Atnozium you've done that. Oh my god. They're so good a little bit of creme fraiche I do a little sour cream cuz I'm not often you got creme fraiche at your shop, right? I'm fresh would be great

You know, but then like you have like the the chives or a little green onion You know get really into it and you just keep it Pat on off on the heat off the heat on the heat off the heat chives is a decoration doesn't really add it's a decoration bro it's a decoration it doesn't add anything I don't even know how you're getting that out of Mariah Carey Jesus no they definitely have like a garlicky buttery taste absolutely and please for the love of God no they suck not that even suck but like garlicky buttery is so nuts that's what they that's what they do I garlicky oniony buttery to them yeah absolutely what do you know what it chives fucking?

mild onion like flavor subtle hint of garlic and fresh crappy are a grassy herb, okay, maybe not buttery, but like Everything else I said yeah, that's pretty close onion is what I assume but garlicky. It's garlic I Love oh man. I love green onion and chives and Just just like I love I love I love herbs. I love cooking. I like a lot of shit I'm like, you know what I'm having a renaissance with Big cilantro house right now Becca has been crushing the cilantro dishes Why does the earth hate cilantro because there's like half of the earth that is just absolute stupid and they taste cilantro as like soap Are you like that? Yeah, really? Yeah, that's devastating earth that is just absolute stupid and they taste cilantro as like soap are you like that yeah really yeah that's devastating I've never tasted that nor

have ever had cilantro being like oh what is that well I don't even like it's like a gene it's like the the asparagus pee thing like not everyone smells it's like a certain gene in their body there's some people on this earth who will eat asparagus and pee normally yeah Yeah. Weird. Be honest with me. Stinks. It stinks of asparagus. Is that what you're gonna ask me? If I have a single stick of asparagus,

I'm basically eating it later when I'm peeing. And like, instantly too. Bro. Coffee, same thing. If I take it really? Bro, I'm pissing. Your piss smells like coffee? If I have a coffee, the next time that I pee,

which is usually not that far after It smells like I'm brewing a bowl a cup That's a bowl of coffee. I can smell coffee in my piss. Really? Yeah, I've never heard of that But I don't think that's a well-known thing. Are you a coffee drinker? I don't think I've ever seen you drink coffee I like coffee. Do you have you ever smell coffee piss? I don't think I've ever seen you drink coffee. I like coffee. Do you have you ever smelled coffee piss? I don't think I've ever smelled coffee piss no that that might my you you might be honestly We might have found something out about you. Yeah, I just very his piss whoo It's think it's wet and it's hot you think there's any freaks out there that are just like pee on me But asparagus pee on me a hundred percent

What do you mean? Yeah, we you think but I think that if you were into piss you'd be like I want this to be pissed I don't want to be some like whack shit I mean, that's a great question you on other people's lives you need to talk to someone that's into peepee play I'm sure I have see like like yo like do they charge like this is an untapped market And we might be into a business thing here one thing I've learned doing other people's lives. It is so tapped. I'm gonna promise you it's tapped you sure a hundred percent because like you can get really I mean look at what we saw last week. Dr. Dan, okay? Yeah, Dr. Dan is really he's a smart businessman So like is there a way to be more playful with peepee?

So like alright asparagus pee is an extra like five bucks asparagus ain't a cheap vegetable You know there's an extra surcharge of let's say five bucks 100% you know and then like we could do like a really dehydrated pee like a yellowy Frothy bastard this is what I mean is like if I was into piss I would want it to be like give me your like don't drink for three days whack piss like make it stink but if I'm well like like stale pee stale like day old pee that's so disgusting like off the side of the bqe and I hate more than day old pee. When I would go to Connecticut with you guys and you would pee on your piss, and the piss would just sit there, I would flush it every time. Oh, pee on pee- oh, you were the flusher!

Yeah. I couldn't piss on this piss. For those of you guys that don't know what Joey's referencing, at the lake house that we grew up going to, they all work they're all ran on like early 1900 septic tank systems like they are not good and the rule there is just like they have like a little jingle in this aisle of fun and son we never flush our number one yeah and then I would pee and then leave it there the next person would pee on that pee and they would be and I go in there I'm like I'm not pissing on this old-ass piss and I flush it What's the why what's it's like because I've done it before and it just kicks up a smell that I'm not I feel it Doesn't stale piece stinks, and it feels like it gets on me. It's still a pinky It's still a pinky

Like I don't I don't like that I don't like when it's something stinks so much It feels like it gets on me, and then I'm like I got I can't oh really yeah But then you just jump in the water, and you're good Yeah, cuz you've pissed in the water right next to someone so hard Do you like try to like play it off because I remember when I was a kid and everyone would be like are you? Pissed in the lake, and I'd be like no so like I made it so like when I am peeing I'm like more talkative because normally people are just like they'll be like talking and like And then they'll keep going like oh, that's when you peed, but I would just be like yeah

So like what's everyone ever thinking about right now like we're gonna have a really fun night playing manhunt or something piss the whole time Yeah, you know I've pissed that like many a time. What is the most you'll pee on a pee before you flush it? Cuz you let the lake we've gotten to like I'm talking like iced tea levels of dark. I'm not that is so gross You're disgusting. I I won't do it on one piss if someone is You don't paying attention. You don't think it's like a level of like I

Want up to you my pee is on your pee now, bitch. Are you a dog? You're going out there and you're pissing on other people's piss. I just think like what I like the times I've been to like Restaurant bathrooms or something and like someone doesn't flush or bars that happens. Oh, yeah I've I've can honestly say I've never experienced that well a lot of places now have automated things on bathrooms or something and like someone doesn't flush or bars that happens oh yeah I've I've can honestly say I've never experienced that well a lot of places now have automated things so like when the person is done they walk away flushes automatically but like I've been to places where it's just like there's just piss that's crazy and you have something to contribute to the piss talk there's a good amount of times where I don't flush at a bar

are you fucking insane I saw you too yeah fire no no no you don't do it times where I don't flush at a bar. Are you fucking insane? I saw- I- You too? Fired. No, no, no! You don't do it at bars? I didn't say that! What's the thaw process? I saw a video of like, they flush a to- I know you do-

They flush a toilet. I did not say me too. And it all like, sprays up at you. Yeah! Bro, that's every toilet that you use ever. Yeah, but not as bad as- No, but some of them- I refuse to believe that like, toilets that have a weaker flush are

Spraying piss and shit everywhere now. I've been to some toilets that are like the cedar Rapids Let me make that very clear airplane toilets. Nothing's getting out of that It sucks everything it sucks your fuck yeah, bro I don't like automated toilets like in the airport airport, if you have to use the bathroom, which I've had to do against my will, I will sit there and it will flush in the middle of me sitting there. And it's such a scary moment. Yeah, because then your butt is all pee-pee pooped on.

No, I'm it feels like it's going to suck all my insides out of my asshole. That's crazy. That is pretty crazy. I don't like that. I have a thing where like I like to like you ever seen like a movie about like the mob or some like organized crime and like whenever they like whack someone they like or like the shot in Inglorious bastards after they kill the guy one of the guys one of the Nazis that Well for not to monetize before I Don't know the way the world's working we might

get more money they said Nazis give them the money like you know how they like kneel down and they're like standing over them and it's like the point of view shot I kind of like to like after I use the bathroom to like look it's like see what I did wait what you you pee in a toilet and then I stand over and I look at it like look what you did You filthy pisser Therapy dude like I can't even suggest Frank that's not a normal thing to be doing in the world. Why not? Why are you looking at your piss like look what you did well like just it's a sense of

like what is that it's hurting over there just like looking down at it like and just walking away like i i job complete like i pissed in you you know mission mission complete i did what i had to do here fucking you do that whenever you go to the bathroom? No! Yeah, pretty much. I would say almost every time. Wow. I also, you know, I know I've told you this before. Right.

But I had a little race between the toilet and my piss. I do that too. Just for fun, man. Yeah, like when you're getting near the end, you're like, I'm gonna flush this thing and then I'm gonna... Just to see who finishes first. You or the toilet. It, it's always a competition Classic you do all this time. Sorry. I was crying. Okay

I think like when you're peeing into a toilet when you get near the end of your piss you like I'm gonna flush this and I'm gonna finish my pee before it's done flushing. No cuz of the spray up thing. I like reach over Are you why don't you hey brother watch this? You need to down close the toilet seat down dude in my own home I'll do that are you like a germaphobe I'm starting to figure out I think I am I mean that's okay that's okay to be a little afraid of a jar I listen public bathrooms you couldn't convince me to eat in there you're talking all Frankie dry hands over there well there's a lot of hand sanitizer that goes on those things yeah you know how I Anytime, and I've been in some disgusting public bathrooms. I have too. Let me be very clear.

There was one one time where I was in like, I was driving through like for like my old job, like a shipping, like a very industrial area where there's like a lot of like shipping and like 18 wheelers loading up and stuff like that. And I looked on my phone like bathrooms near me and it was without exaggeration just a stone building in the middle of like New ark New Jersey perfect and I went in there and it was a sight what you would imagine a murder to be

imagine a murder to be staged for. Like it was like ridiculous. You raw dog toilets? No, I prefer not to. What does I prefer not to mean? I mean, if the setup is gonna be just as difficult, you know what I mean? So you won't make a little, you know, like a bird's nest and then take a shit on that?

Yeah, no, I don't like that wait is it you oh? God he got him don't do that. Oh wait. Is it you you're the pisser? No, no you don't you do this thing where you throw a bunch of toilet paper in the toilet? Yeah, tell him tell him wait what he'll throw a bunch of toilet paper into the toilet You said tell him and then you decided to tell me I wrote the rules Okay, go ahead go. Oh, so like I throw a bunch of toilet paper in and then I decided to tell me I wrote the rules Okay, go oh, I thought you were good Oh, so like I throw a bunch of toilet paper in and then I take a boop because so the water doesn't splash But back up at me genius very smart makes a little bed for it. I want that stinky though that it no it's not it's paper

Oh, yeah, raw dogging your your shit is in the air brother. That's what I'm saying shit. You have air shit I see like if it's in the water it kind of masks the smell a little bit. A little bit. You're over here just letting, your shit in your hand. You have big mud pies out in the open. You're literally just holding it like this. You might as well, you might as well shit and then put your face next to it. Literally.

I courtesy flush. You're not worried about the air of your shit. You courtesy flush raw shit what are you talking I'm saying like in it in there like it's like so you've established this is the grossest episode also a weekly episode can we add yeah so you go in and you full-on make a damn like a poop beaver yeah and then you crap on top of it, yes, so it's just airborne crap yeah, and then You flush and it's like Might be close because sometimes when you flush it comes up and goes down a little bit. So like

What is your concern? What is out when I flush are you trying to say it's not out when I flush no no I'm saying the water the water levels like they like fill up a little bit and then they go down oh you think that the poops gonna hit it might hit your ass well that ain't you might get you you might get how do you think he's a Tyrannosaurus Rex on to write this look how much dung do you think dung beetles by the way, cool but ill. I mean I applaud their determination and work ethic.

I can't say much about, you know. You ever think about a dog and how it loves piss and shit? Because the thing that you just said, right? Like I think about this all the time when I'm walking my dog. He loves to pee on other dogs pee is that like graffiti it's like a fucking this is my because they because it's like graffiti you know like they say like not just really and you go yeah disrespect so yeah disrespecting like hell yeah because that's their scent that's how they mark their territory so you take my piss and's like, this is my fucking hydrant now.

And then someone else does it, and you're just like, Dan, that's not mine anymore. Bro, dogs are like members of the cartel. You know what I'm saying? Like, you impede on their territory. They're gonna get upset about it, you know? I have watched numerous times. A dog will walk over to a tree, pee on it,

my dog will see that, run right over, piss right on it. Yeah, and they always, dogs always have, I remember when we times a dog will walk over to a tree pee on it my dog will see that run right over piss right on it Yeah And they always dogs always have I remember when we had a dog like they always have a little bit of piss to spare just Enough to like just be like little little petty little bitches You know if he doesn't have piss he'll go through the motions and just be like leg up got nothing keep going But it's that's good enough for me piss is very potent with its odor, but you know piss will come out He'll just lift his no, but even one even one drop You know what they say one drop of blood in the ocean

They'll shark will smell it one drop of dog piss on a park bench The other dogs will know you're not hearing what I'm saying. I'm saying no piss comes out I'm saying that you're probably not inspecting close enough, or you're wrong I'm saying that you're probably not inspecting close enough, or you're wrong. It's possible. Highly unlikely. Because I'm walking the dog every day and I see it. Highly unlikely that I'm wrong. Right, it's unlikely.

But it's possible, and I respect the possibility, but I also honor the improbability of my being wrong. I don't even know how to do, like, do all, I don't know how to unpack what you just said. Love that sweater. Thank you. Really good sweater. You got a new chain. What is that? Is that a cat? Yeah, Ruby gave it to me? Roo

She went to the jewelry store and watch you some jewelry She got like kids like playtime jewelry, and she gave me it's a kitty cat. It's a little unicorn Oh, it's a unicorn. It's a unicorn. You know what I thought that was at first What you know like the the namaste hand thing oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought it was that I okay something going on here with the high in the middle What if I just came in and had radically different like you were just like yeah, yeah I mean, I think that would be very interesting Yeah, I we've never I've never been a very spiritual person so like if I come in and I start talking about like God or

Something like you know shock me Yeah, I mean maybe one day in my life. I think there will come a time probably because I'm afraid right That's what I'm yeah, I'm afraid of a lot of things Yeah, I think you're gonna be like one day I have to like I have to I have to because if I don't then I'm in trouble yeah, because if I think about Not not then my father-in-law put it best my father and my father-in-law has a really strong connection to his faith And he says like if I'm wrong I lived life as a good person anyways And I was like good for you. You know there's some certain beliefs. I don't like but like

Maybe one day that's everyone's problem with religion. I don't know we'll cross that down the road Yeah, now that we've talked about religion. How about we'll cross the- That's everyone's problem with religion, honestly. We'll cross that down the road. Yeah, now that we've talked about religion, how about we get to the ad? Oh, and religion, and Nazis, and drugs. Forgot about all that stuff. What an episode. Anyway, Squarespace. You guys want to build a website, you're going to do that with Squarespace. Trust me, okay? It is the best platform to create your website.

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Are killing the population of Perra. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa cookies are killing the population apparently. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Allegedly. Allegedly, oh my god. I don't want to be served by the girls. He's done. The girls are getting him. The scouts.

Oh my god. What would you do if they hand delivered a subpoena as fully dressed up as girls? Can you imagine? I never understood that, where it's like you got served. People just like escape. Oh, I used to do it for my old job all the time. Why are people escaping that?

Dude, you're going gonna get these papers I I've served a lot of people but like they run away from you so all the times that I did it was at their home so You basically like I would go up. I would knock on the door and I would say hi. I'm looking for Joe Santagato, and if it's Joe be like yeah, it's Joe, he'd be like, yeah, it's me. He'd be like, I have the subpoena for you. I didn't do the, you're being served. I was never told I had to.

I think I might have said it at points, but like. You've never like just walked up to someone on the street and be like, Roger, here you go, Roger. No, no, no, no, no, it was all like homes and stuff. And then there were times where it was like, you know, like I had driven like two and a half hours to wherever I had to be and I told my boss like, I can't sit here and wait for the person to get home.

And it's like, all right, well then you give it to, whoever you give it to, get their name and their information. And then you have to provide something called an affidavit of service. Which basically just says like, I served this subpoena on your behalf to this person. And I think there was like one or two times where the person was just like, I'm this subpoena on your behalf to this person and I think there was like one or two times where the person was just like I'm not fucking

touching this and I'm just and what I was taught was just like okay you don't need to I am giving it to you you don't have to take it I'm leaving it here what you choose to do with it is on you I would love to serve somebody it was not as the glamorous as you thought like you would I would love to serve somebody. It was not as glamorous as you thought. Like you would. I'd make it glamorous. You'd be like a little bit. I'd stalk. You'd be a little bit about it. Not stalk. That's crazy. I would, I would stake out is what I meant. I would be like. I did a surveillance. A couple coffee and a cigarette just outside like when he gets home. I, so it wasn't my job traditionally, but I was one time asked to do a surveillance

and like it was literally like sit here like a private investigator it was just so it was for a subpoena but it was sit here wait until this person gets home and then when they get home hit them with the subpoena and it was cool on july 3rd of the year and i was trying to like i learned about it that morning we were going to be leaving to go to the lake oh and i was just like hopefully they come home they did not i got out of there by like five or six because they never showed up damn yeah they probably spotted you dude you were followed I was good I was good I was inconspicuous anyway apparently this thing came out you know Girl Scout cookies very popular but apparently they did a test on the cookies and in a hundred percent of the samples

They were some form of metal. Oh Well, like and not good allegedly allegedly Allegedly allegedly Allegedly we don't know what the deal is We don't know if this is true or if it's not true or what the deal is but there is an ongoing Investigation and there's a hundred percent of the samples. They're saying have Traces yeah traces of I will say this if you would ask me I would have said they had traces of crack because boy. Oh boy once I pop I cannot stop

This is just my opinion I honestly think I think Girl Scout cookies are overrated your bananas I don't think they're bad I think they're overrated I think you're like all I need 10 boxes they're fine well it's because the boxes are cheap ish I guess and I don't know dude you're trying to like support little kids I will say who whoever you're not supporting I will say whoever was just like let's get these little kids to pet all the cookies

People will be more inclined. Yeah, I'll be real honest give him a badge I Recently bought Girl Scout cookies for like a family member. What's your favorite one? I was gonna say the old name but apparently they're not called Samoas anymore mm-hmm they're called caramel delights and then they have these little ones that are like French toast what whoa dude yeah hell yeah I'm into French hell yeah do you like Girl Scout cookies a couple I don't like thin mints they can go ahead and die a fiery death thin mints Suck double so much triple suck. It's insane that and they're probably the most popular people love them They are just I think we've did an episode. Oh, we did a video a setting out a studio's video What was more popular than well before and no it was him no

Yeah, cuz it was like the one where it was like the rock and it's like zero or one Or something like that. I was there for that dumber than a box of rocks something like that or or maybe it was another one But I forgot what is I did a tate No, no, but I'm saying we did an episode in something and it was just like Thin mints are the most popular true or false or something like that Yeah, they're whack, but I mean mean anything chocolate and mint flavored can go ahead and just do what it needs to do mint chocolate chip ice cream garbage garbage absolute pee pee

absolutely masura yeah see no I think caramel delights are the best those are good tag alongs are good what the hell is a tag along? It's the peanut butter ones. Hell no. Yeah, you hate that combination, but it's good. Hell no. What the fuck is Adventurefuls? Adventurefuls? These cookies are newer edition featuring a crispy cookie with a caramel and peanut butter filling.

I... Don't hate that. I will say they did a great job naming them except the Samoans were upset about that. Do-si-dos! Those are good. Are peanut are good What's with all the peanut butter guys? Why are we all with all the peanut butter? Look up the french toast ones Those are fucking bananas Also, can you just type in Girl Scout flavors? Girl Scout cookie flavors

Girl Scout cookie flavors I think everyone knew what you meant Alright, thank you You never know, out of context You know what's good and I know I'm going to get shit for this Everyone knew what you meant. All right. Thank you You never know out of context. Yeah You know what's good, and I know I'm gonna get shit meat the cookies way to go girl scouts I can't wait why are we attacking girls? We is crazy. I feel like you were saying adventure falls The dosy does are great caramel delights are those are good caramel chocolate chip. I've never had Adventure falls look interesting. Where are the s'mores?

had adventure falls look interesting where are the s'mores surprisingly not great dude really lemonades I'd rather go to hell I hate lemon flavored baked good I hate I hate it because it's not it's just overly lemony like it's not like a hint of lemon yeah don't like me some zest. Zest me. But don't fucking lie. I love a good zest. Eat no lemon. Zest all over me. Yeah. Go down. Gotcha.

There's the, there's the Toastier. Toastier. That looks good. Toffee Tastic! What? Where'd you go? Toffee Tastic is good. I don't want ones that look like women. I don't want to eat cookies that look like women. Which one look like women?

The tree foals. How does that look like women? Those are it look like women those are women's faces? Those are women's faces are they not yeah, I think he's right a little silhouette here. Those are good though I think that's like the Girl Scout logo. Triforce are good toffee tastic is mad good Thin Mints Thin Mints Fuck you Thin Mints suck. How about you? How about you and me shut up together and I fight you thin mints What does that even mean? I don't even know what the hell is toffee though? Is it just like British sweets? I don't know. I like toffee-fee which I think we recently brought. What the fuck is that? It sounds like a cat's name It's a really cool little candy

Wait hold on. I'm sorry. I gotta back up a little bit. You said they're overrated. Yeah, yeah. You're nuts, dude. I just think that that like some of the like some of them are good, but I think the way that people talk about them, it's like, bro, I legitimately don't need them. Well, they have a really smart marketing and business strategy. The reason that they're great is because they're good cookies that you can only get in a short window of time from a little drug dealing child that basically sells it to you. Right. You know?

So like, exclusivity. You love that. Exclusivity? They make a billion dollars every year. Yeah, because they have a lot, but like, I don't know. I don't think they're overrated. That's crazy. The world's going to punch you.

Probably. Maybe the Samoans that were upset can attack you too. Samoas. You don't want to mess with me. I don't think they're called Samoans are that were upset can attack you too Samoas. You don't want to mess I don't think they're called Samoans I know what I'm saying the Samoans were probably the ones that were upset about them calling being called You know don't also those they're good. They're not a coconut guys It's the perfect balance of chewy and cookie you know Yeah, I I'm all about caramel. I like caramel. I'm big yo some I don't like old people caramel

Oh like Werther's like no cuz those aren't bad But there's like a certain there's a certain type of caramel that I've had that I'm like this is garbage like give me the sugary I've had one thing with caramel that I fully believe is the worst use of caramel I've ever seen and listen mad respect to M&M's but the caramel M&M's are fucking garbage. I thought you were gonna say M&M's. Oh well he he he oh mad respect yo. He can get some respect too absolutely respect M&M's. Yeah and caramel M&M are caramel M&Ms heard dumpster PP. Yeah, you know, we're doing a lot of peepee talk today basura Yeah, but I love it a dog

Cat piss I would say caramel. Whoa, that's the worst piss. Yeah disgusting could disgusting piss, bro My house used to reek of cat piss This is the worst piss because we had she I remember You know, I remember cat piss my first foray into cat piss. Because you had a cat. We had a cat, but one, I saw her peeing and she was shaking. Your cat? Yeah.

And then, she, I had a Triple H wrestling figure. And she pissed on it? And she, no, even worse. He came with like, you know how, remember how Triple H used to wear those giant denim jackets? Yeah. He came with that as like an accessory, and I took it off for his match. Duh.

And my cat somehow got it and pissed on it, so like- Pissed on his jacket? Pissed on his jacket, dude. And like, Triple H. So that's why you hate cat piss. Not because it smells like piss. It smells bad. But you watch your cat shake and piss all over Triple H's denim jacket.

It looked sick and she probably was. The signs were there. I mean yeah. But yeah, no. And cat piss smells like worse piss than any piss. I hate that. Eminem pretzels. Those are incredible. Yeah. And I'm not even big on... Like I like pretzels but like, not and I'm not even big on like I like pretzels but like not like that those are a great oh yeah M&M's best M&M peanut M&M's are

the best and then the original yeah I will fully oh well there was an M&M in the early 2000s that were M&M crunchies they were like like you know how like oh it was like you know like crispy shit yeah like a malted milk ball yeah and it was em peanut the nut peanut the pretzel ones are good I don't hate them like them how do you feel about whoppers here's the thing whoppers as like first of all coming in a milk jug what are you doing whoppers as like first of all coming in a milk jug. What are you doing whoppers? What whoppers come in milk jugs? Oh, I have seen that yeah, but The outside is too like the chocolate is too soft so I go from soft to crunch and I don't like that but

Where tis the season? Whoppers makes their Robbins eggs Tis the season. Whoppers makes their Robins eggs? Shoot everyone! No, don't do that. Jesus. Robins eggs are the best version of that. I recently sent you a picture when I was on my way in and I was like, got my lunch,

and it was my sunflower seeds and a bag of Robins eggs. Whoppers are very bad like maybe the like no out of the Halloween candy whenever I get those I'm like I'm never eating this is it's disgusting. I'll eat them if I'm feeling dangerous. I'll eat way other like Well, you know what makes your Robin's eggs really good one Robin's eggs are not bad Easter great. The chocolatey, the candy coating on the outside. Those are a great coat. The perfect amount. You look legit Robin. And just put bird eggs up here. But like the candy coating is perfectly thin and they're delicious. Yeah those are really, wait it's Cadbury. No. No no no. Oh no I've only had the Cadbury ones

which are very good. No no no no no no no. had the Cadbury ones which are very good. No no no Robin's eggs They're they're a whopper brand see no okay this I haven't had oh Yeah, no, I don't I'll bring them in no cuz I have gone on record, and I will say this Cadbury's a top three chocolate shut up Of the holiday candies Like holidays themed candy For like whatever like Halloween they have like pumpkins And like Halloween candy, spooky, guts and pee-pee

Everything's orange Yeah Christmas has what it has obviously Easter has the best assortment of holiday candy Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap candy clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap you said it? yeah i think you're right i think you're right

said it? it's like cause like when when christmas i mean it's like well christmas everyone do do do do do do uh uh uh

uh uh peppermint peppermint peppermint peppermint stick no i only like candy canes i like it but like shut up peppermint i don't like when other shit is peppermint like just leave leave

leave peppermint candy canes fucking alone to be But like everything else and like think of Easter Easter. We have like Robin's eggs. We have Jelly beans I know I'm not gonna sit here and argue about the jelly beans peeps Bang top tier yeah peeps bang Trash peeps are so good um Peep, if you're watching this, I will be your, if you wanna have a Super Bowl commercial next year, I'm in.

Super Bowl commercial? I hope that company goes belly up. My mom would be upset about that. She loves Peeps. I love Peeps. But yeah, so I'm shocked that you're not more of a, when's the last time you bought a box of Girl Scout cookies Like

Four years ago You need new ones. Where am I gonna get him? I've never seen a Girl Scout in my life They don't like go door-to-door anymore. I know but like actually that's not true. They went door-to-door in my neighborhood once That makes sense in like a suburban area, but like, I- there's no Girl Scout cookies- Well if you- I mean, you don't know people with kids, but like- I've ordered them online, that's the only time that I've had them. Yeah, so like a lot of kids now will have like their own page. Bro.

This just led me to fuck Girl Scout cookies for a second. You know what's a thousand times better than that when children are selling the chocolate bars? I love that chocolate. That is such an underrated chocolate. The chocolate bar like on the subway like they have that box. It's called world's greatest chocolate. Yeah, it's good chocolate. It's a good name for a company too. Yeah, that was a that was big when we were in like middle school.

I would make my dad buy the whole box and then I would eat it. Oh Really? Y-hundo. You know what I recently got gypped into and yet Gypt is the right word to use here really cuz I feel like that might be a sleaze a little slurs Gypt to this to the seas to the seas Isn't that like a that's the isn't that the oh I see you know I'm saying I don't know no jib I don't know whatever you had oh what'd you get roped into I get roped you got roped I got you know what I got I got the rug pulled out from under me from I got I got I'm trying to think other one I got... I got... I'm trying to think of another one.

I got finagled by a child. Your own? No. A strange child. A family member's child. Okay. Was doing a fundraiser. Here we go.

Here we go. They always got stuff. I'm gonna get you. They always got things. And I'm not gonna say their names, but they know who they are. Yeah they will. They won't watch this. What were they selling?

What were they peddling? You ready for this? It's a fundraiser and you get crispy cream donuts. Alright, hold on, I'm back in. No, right? Right. Listen, honestly, I am always kinda apprehensive because there's like a weird level of like how much do you give you know? blah blah blah

crispy cream donuts I'm like alright. I have to buy three boxes Frankie listen to me Listen you don't have to do no But they didn't have and I'll tell you why because they didn't have the option to like buy one box and add a Tip for like an extra for a bigger donation. How much was a box? I think they were like Like 12 bucks 13 bucks each or something like that 15 maybe 15. I think it was 15 actually and This is a good pyramid scheme

You ready for this? I'm like, alright, I'm gonna do it to support, be a good you know member of my community. I do it and I'm like I notice that as I'm doing it I don't put in my address information and I'm like how the hell am I getting these Krispy Kreme donuts? They go great thanks for the donation print this voucher out and go to a authorized Krispy Kreme location and pick up your boxes give me my money back give me this fucking money back I kid you not out of my full Tony soprano where is my money

I was furious here's a voucher if you're gonna make me donate my money and then get up and go to a crispy cream Authorized crispy cream what is that even? Well, they have crispy cream has storefronts special ones that are authorized Their crispy cream. That's what I'm saying walking any cream is is different but I'm also not going there oh I was mad that's the audacity that's

to make me pay my money I'm gonna say harder about the adjective yeah but it is your money it is my money and then tell me to do an extra step if I'm committing to this first of all ship them to my home or hand deliver them to me the thing that you messed up is this it needs to be one of these okay you're right here's the money right don't it coming the other way you're right you're on you know what I mean that's why if you ever a kid scenario If you're ever in a kidnap scenario you gotta be like wait I want to see I got fucking bamboozled you were my boozled was BAMMED Bing bam boom sold

All right, I You gotta make sure you see the product in person. I can't have I can't and this is why I don't like shopping online This is why because then there was another instance where I bought something online I told you we got you something for your birthday And I and it was like ships fast. This is great to do I buy it and they're like This doesn't ship till April and I was a bad Angry man that day I honestly Like this is happening with I the TV that we have

I wanted to put I needed the original legs for it so I don't want to hang it up on a on a what's it called a bracket yeah so I just want to put on the legs so I had to go to the company and be like can you ship me the legs they're like yeah they're like good news they're in stock cool as soon as I got the email that like your order is confirmed they went back order I'm like what happened to in stock now there's no ETA and if you're going to do that fine but send me an extra pair so I could beat those with a back because I'm furious with this like if you're gonna say I am for a

month after send me an extra pair so I can throw them in the ocean. This is why I don't like shopping online. Because you never get a straight answer. You go to a store, I want this, here's my money, here's the thing, thank you, I'm leaving. I really, I much prefer that. I can't even tell you.

But I like opening boxes. I love opening boxes. That's what I'm saying, when you buy online, you're like, ooh, my clothes are here. I know, but tell you like opening boxes I love opening boxes that's what I'm saying when you buy online you're like oh my clothes are here I know but if you know what it is like my issue my my toxic trait is I fully expect boxes just show up at my house but I hate shopping online right so when Becca gets something I'm like is it for me I was like do you mind if I open it you haven't opened anything she's like yes you can open it and I open it I'm like whoa what is this yeah you but bro. I recently bought something for Becca for Valentine's Day and

I bought it again ships fast within you know, two days if you place your order between you know before whatever I Fucking buy it ten minutes later. I get an email. It's back order I can't and I'm like and it's like we'll let you know when your your shipment is ready and then this it showed up two days later figure out your system figure out your goddamn system you damn dirty horse yeah you damn dirty bastard horse bitch horse if you're in if you're in stock I make the order and now it's the back order you're telling me I've I'm the one I'm on the back or The world they yeah, yeah, you you put it you put it onto the back. They bare-backed you I've been bare-backed

You've been better Hate that I just I hate what is back order. I just spit well that order is that the demand? What is backorder? I just spit. Well backorder is that the demand exceeds the supply. So they're like, you know what? We fucked up. Fuck you! Take it off! I'm not gonna buy it if there's nothing in stock. What happened to sold out? What happened to that? Preorders! Preorders get me. Preorders get me so bad bitch.

They get me so angry. At least be transparent if it's a preorder. Tell me when. If I'm not expecting this, I'm not getting till summer. Make a pre-order. I'm fine with that. I hate when people use like business terms when they're like pre-order this ship's Q1. And it's like, fucking tell me what month. Don't do this. Don't narrow it down to a fucking 25% of the year. If you're gonna do a pre-order, be transparent with me. Tell me how many weeks. Tell me if it's gonna be months. Or if I'm gonna get this in 2035. I just want some transparency. Don't tell me like, pre-order, we'll figure it out. I can't do this. But also, and I know I'm probably gonna get flack for this,

because I know that there's like actual like logistics that go into this. If I pre-order something, there's no reason that you should cap the pre-order, unless you're like doing it for like art purposes. What does that mean like I I remember there was a company I was looking at they had a really cool watch and it was like on pre-order okay and it was like oh our pre-orders have exceeded the limit and it's like order more order more well they're making them I know but order more have a make more I know never happens to Santa Claus I know is there no preorder about him. It's making him by hand literally by hand him and his elves

Is that offensive to or toward no it's fine. Okay him and his The Elven mail the Elven well and women can contribute if they don't win women you know I'm assuming the Elven women do a lot over there Well boy, what's that mean mean what do you mean is that okay to say that elven women are working hard in the North Pole yeah why would that be bad to say I don't know I just want to be careful make sure we're not accidentally offending the elves in the North Pole well they have a very important job Why are you keep looking behind me? You're freaking me out Is there a spider?

What's going on here? I don't like it. If it's pre-ordered There's no reason If you get more than what you thought If you only make 500 And you get 600 Holy shit! Make more Right away!

Make them! They're pre--ordered months out as it is But they're also probably doing a pre-order, and I know there's an actual answer for this I know that but you don't it's not your problem I'm the customer I get to be angry the customer is always right rule one rule two rule two if it's in stock And then suddenly becomes back order give me a discount Because I bought this on the false pretenses if this was back ordered. I wouldn't even dream of oh my god back buying something backorder give me a discount because I bought this on the false pretenses if this was back ordered I wouldn't even dream of oh my god back buying something

back order what do you think I am a bitch yeah dude you think I'm gonna wait you think I'm gonna wait I don't wait please stop when it comes here tell me or like I'm some cuck send it to me when you get the chance you have my money and have my dignity they're cucking you what else that's what they're doing they're fucking your wife in front of you, Joey

They're like we'll let you know when we're done or it's like oh you want this you could totally have it I give them money to say well hey company decide when they get it to you the companies We're on to you, and we're not we're gonna be the one to break the fucking snake oil Salesman pieces is shit. Oh, yeah No dignity, no respect, or loyalty to your customers. And I'm gonna do you one better, you goddamn whore bastard bitches. If you have a thing on your website that's like, sign up for alerts of when it comes back in stock. I better get one email from your company.

And it better be when it's back in stock. Because I see an email that's just like we also have I'm not only going to Unsubscribe from your email chain. I might find the company and spit at it Spit It will email you when it's back in stock Go to hell Don't send me an email don't ever go out of stock you know business people call them let them know we're on to them let them know

that we have figured them out on your fucking heels we're on your heels damn right we have ads we're flying today baby. We are ahead. Speaking of companies. Cut me off while I'm singing High School Musical bananas. Just go. You look like Dylan Efron today. Who's that? Zac Efron's brother.

Don't know him. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, BetterHelp is online therapy. If you want to get into therapy, you can do so with better help. They make it customizable. They make it very easy to talk to a therapist just under 48 hours. So it's a quick turnaround. They also make it very easy for you to jump from therapist to therapist so that you could find the right fit for you. That is a very important part of the onboarding process. You can't just talk to someone who you're kind of uncomfortable with.

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Give you a stomach ache because the elastic band is like super tight or anything like that. It's nice um and Skims, you know for a while people thought this is just for women But it looks very comfortable wish they were for men boom they are Okay, and i'm telling you, I've worn them, Frankie's worn them, aunt's worn them, everybody's wearing them. All the cool kids are doing it with the Skims.

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Yelled. Oh my god. I want to ask you a question Let's just, let's just, where were we by the way? Oh, we yelled about it. Oh my god, I want to ask you a question. Oh my god, okay. I saw this thing on TikTok, and stop me if you've seen it. Okay. Stop me if you've seen it, be fucking honest. I'll stop you. Alright, okay.

Fuck, whoa, Jesus. Let me ask you a precursor. There's a lot of questions being thrown at me right now. There's only going to be two. One, how much do you think you pee a day? We're back on piss. Heavy on the piss. This on the big pee episode. Yes huge boys be pissing This is the thumbnail right now the pissing dogs don't do that pissing boys no How much do you think you pee a day fluid ounces or pints or gallons?

I Would say I probably pee a gallon of piss a day and that's crazy. I've been really good with my water intake nice for like the last couple months I've been consistently drinking at least a gallon of water every day Wow good for you. Thank you That's why I always have that smart water bottle because it's a court Okay, so for those for those day So for those for those day. That's it, Ben. Now, let me ask you, OK? Just so you know, I don't know where my tick tock algorithm has led me.

It definitely has not led me to piss. So I think we're safe. Really, baby, we're here right now. I'm going to put this right here so I can make sure that I'm reading everything. OK. Frank, how long do you think it would take to fill up the Grand Canyon with piss if every single person on earth was pissing into it at the same time? That's billions of people, dude.

It's eight billion, I believe. Are we at eight already? I thought it was six. 8.2. Wow. Too many people. That's a ton of people. That's way too many. Yeah.

Everyone at the same time pissing. I've never seen or been to the Grand Canyon. Like a normal pee too, so like. I know. Yeah, not like a. If you in one, like, you know, one day. Not like an Austin Powers wake up piss. Like just a normal average like pee. Yeah. Oh man, how big is the Grand Canyon? I don't even know how to answer that. Big? Big is my answer. Alright, uh, I would say if everyone on Earth, they're on the edge of the Grand Canyon, we're all pissing. And we're assuming that the Grand Canyon is lined with a

non-absorbent material, so it's not like evaporation. So it's gonna be, it's like a pool liner. Yeah. How long would it take to fill up the Grand Canyon if it had a pool liner with human piss right I? would say Billion people man. I would say eight billion eight billion people yeah, yeah, uh I would say Maybe like a month right? That's what I thought yeah Hey, it's shaking is all show me a piss my way. Have you seen the video? I didn't see the video, but I know the question

You're telling me there's a viral video going around, but you know about this piss-filled You know like thing here's a piss guy. Just a piss guy dude So the amount that you can fit in the Grand Canyon is 1.2 Quadrillion gallons is that 24 zeros or I don't even fathom that being a number that we're going to entertain That's a circus number so if every person 8 billion gallons a day That's a lot of gallons. Oh, no no so on average apparently people piss a half gallon which is still a lot of pee yeah I would imagine I pee probably a half gallon too because I retain some of the water I drink hopefully yeah I think so this is what this says is

the math 100% correct not for me to to decide here. I mean, you're not a mathematician. Also, this is about piss, so... Correct. They said... What's quadrillion? If people on average piss a half gallon a day, it would take... not a month,

but 800,000 years. What? Why? 800,000? What was your answer that you knew? I was gonna say a thousand years, maybe Shut up. What is the maybe you made it seem like oh, I know this question Yeah, I made a thousand years you either here's the thing with questions like this You're either criminally under what the answer is like we are with a month or you're

Outlandishly over here's the 1,000 years sounds way more like realistic. 800,000 years? I feel like I could fill it in at 800,000. That's so much time. No, brother. Too much piss? Well, first of all, you ain't living to be 800,000, Joey. Second of all.

I'm saying in a wizard life where I could live that long and pee. That's a lot of years bro Hey, I guess everyone on earth bro. How big is a Grand Canyon dude apparently fucking massive It's taking this long to fill with piss it can't be that big they've got to be doing some math correctly I Did go on reddit because I was like let's see oh it must be real on there No, no, this is a video that went viral so I went on reddit and I to see Or I was like looking it up to like make sure I was I had the numbers correct And then I saw a reddit link and then someone did math

And they were like I think this thing is off And even they came up with like 700 and something years. But that still seems way longer than I think. Well, billions. Bro, eight billion people peeing into the Grand Canyon. You're going to tell me that's not going to take a solstice at most. I don't know. I mean, you'll probably see some like water accumulation. Hell, yeah. But like, isn't it isn't it oh boy isn't it like Grand Canyon also deep too it's a canyon yeah well what's what

classifies a canyon from just a hole that's great I mean you know I mean we can talk about years it's what what are talking? I was gonna make a joke about your Canyon like asshole Insinuating that you normally get it got it. Yeah Estimated volume of the Grand Canyon is four point one seven trillion cubic meters, which what is that? I don't even know what a cubic meter is a cubic meter is a meter That's a square by a meter by a meter that's been so like six feet by six feet by six feet roughly or no three feet sorry a meter is about three feet and change right yes I like how I'm acting and like he knows you're the

mother who's been to school the most recently so I knew there are 8.2 billion people on the planet before our purposes will only include people over the ages of 15 why why baby's piss brother I'm saying was person doing so equally roughly six point five billion people even that one cubic meter is a thousand liters so we'll need I can't even read that number it's an insane number each person produces roughly 1.4 liters of urine a day with six point five billion people that's 9.1 billion liters a day at that rate it would take 458 thousand two hundred forty one days to fill the Grand Canyon which is how many years I don't know divide that by 365

twelve twelve hundred years That's quick math. I don't know I hope that's not even close 458 to I hope that's not even close 458 to No, I think you're roughly in the ballpark. Wait hold on. I fucked that up 258. What is it 258? Times 100,000 would be 350 divided by 365 thousand one thousand two hundred fifty five years not bad buddy really great, buddy

One thousand two hundred and fifty five years. She said 1200. Oh wow look at me You don't even remember say with confidence man. Good memory gosh your chest. I'm sorry even 1200 years That's so much longer than I'm even believe I don't even believe that I just think that this is a like I don't think people realize how much piss like the average person piss is a half gallon a day But then you have freaks like Greg who pisses several gallons a day Greg is pissing at an alarming rate I think realistically me. Let's do a social experiment. Let's get a bucket in here one Cubic I'm not doing this and we just peeing it no or dump our piss into we're back to the front You want to you want to piss on piss? That's what that's how you rocks off. You know Steve-O, I don't know, did you ever? You definitely didn't. Steve-O does stand-up

specials now, and he had a stand-up special, and I watched it last year with my brother. It's basically like some stand-up and he mixes in some like stunts and stuff. Like some of them are fucking crazy. I don't wanna give it away because I respect you Mr. Stevo One of them I will give away he collects urine from everyone he knows for like Seven months or six months including the urine that's in his like traveling RV and he puts it in a pool and he dives into the pool like a kiddie pool Good take that in Steve oh by the way you're alive after that bro he's done way crazy shit

I'm swimming in a little piss swimming in a little piss swimming in a little piss baby that is so gross it sounds like that's like a reject Jimmy Buffett song and then in a little piss imagine the smell. Yeah, so like this probably worse a Lot of piss worse. It can't be worse than cat piss I'm sure it's definitely worse. No, I'd rather a pool of human piss than cat piss. Are you crazy? I don't even know if I haven't Yeah, Steve if you're ever in the area

What's up? Go piss on Frank? No, he loved no stop that apparently no hey Steve Oh, if you ever in the area, let's pee on each other's pee no, and you could swim that that doesn't seem alright What about if people crapped? Way longer because the average person is a one day one crapper a day I think the real problem is that the difference between a billion and a trillion is just so big It's a million billion, right? It's just so big. It's a million quadrillion exactly what? clown numbers Did you ever see the thing that was just like the richest man in history was like some like African?

King or or something and it was like he valued his what the land was or like Genghis Khan and it was like some like African king or something and it was like he valued his what the land was or like Genghis Khan and it was like what the land was valued that he had conquered was like trillions and trillions of dollars or something like that probably that's crazy I don't so what a billion is nine hundred nine a billion is a thousand a trillion is a thousand billions or a million billions How do these numbers exist I remember what's that what's a Google is that a hundred zeros Why did we even get that high? They're not even usable to use these numbers I mean they are when you talk about stuff like space travel and shit like that and piss and piss

One oh What am I looking at here can you zoom in on this stuff one trillion that's bonamers not one there we go one trillion dollars visualized those are double and by the way those are double stacked double stack pallets like that so this is what I'm saying so this is one here's the thing. This is the person down here. Oh fuck. That's what that is I was literally gonna be like a trillion dollars. I thought it'd be more than no like this is the human God it's really and this is the bit That's what I'm like, that's why it takes a long time to piss in the grand game. Yo, honestly But what that hundred million was size bill is not what I thought it was gonna be I

Thought that was gonna be way more. That's it. I really struggle when people are just like you wouldn't be able to carry This much money in a bag because it's too heavy. I struggle with that. It's just paper, and I know like it's like a Hundred dollars a hundred pounds of paper You know like they say like what's heavy or a hundred pounds of bricks or a hundred pounds of feathers and it's like brother They're both a hundred pounds of paper, you know, like they say like what's heavier 100 pounds of bricks or 100 pounds of feathers And it's like brother. They're both 100 pounds, bro if you give me a backpack and My clothing and like some janko jeans or whatever you're wearing like recently. I'm walking out of there with at least 50 million dollars because it's paper. I

Don't think that you could do that just cuz like I think that's like more than you think but like Were those? How heavy is how much it weigh about 22 pounds? I don't think the pounds is the problem 22 pounds Dude it weigh about 22 pounds you could easily fit a million dollars into a briefcase backpack or duffel bag yo Well 50 million weighs 500 kilograms about half a ton yeah that can't be I didn't think this was right I think bro 50 million dollars weighing half a ton I think that's right really yeah well what if it's hundred dollar bills how much is a million? 45 pounds

A million dollars is 45 bro. I think that money is like heavier than you think but like Nah 50 million I refuse to believe that I refuse I I actually believe it. I think it makes sense paper is heavy If you're a paper is heavy. If you're... Paper is heavy. Bro. Remember we had to haul...did you bring any of those fucking stacks of paper out? No! I was in here when you guys said you got it. Bro, those are heavy.

Well, they're little reams of paper. Yeah, but those are like not... How much would one of those be in money? 500 sheets. How would I even make a guess? 500 sheets on four bills. I'm just saying, give me a duffel bag. I'm leaving with at least You I mean you weren't there for this video, but remember those ten thousand dollar things

Yep, like those are obviously very light ten of them though is a hundred grand only yeah And then only ten times no, but I'm saying like that's a hundred grand and like that's like a lot of space Like to fit that in something I think is difficult and it probably wouldn't be heavy and that's only a hundred grand. I got it I'd be good. You're not carrying fifty million dollars, bro. Put me here. I have a great video idea for you Put me in an enclosed room and say you can whatever you you put as much money as you have in there whatever you can walk out with you could keep and I'm easily bankrupting you. How much money you think I have? You think I have 50 million fucking dollars? I've seen your bank accounts I know that you have

at least 400 million dollars. Imagine I would be living in Tuscany right now. I'll be honest I think about it often what having that much money 400 million dollars yeah it'd be I would quit well before that did you fart no no imagine you just let a fart rip like I need more reasons give me more reasons hey don't know it but we're gonna get out of here before that continues Like I need more reasons. Give me more reasons. Give me one reason to stay here. You know that song? Don't know it, but we're gonna get out of here before that continues. Why? Frank, where can they find you?

No, don't cut me off when I'm singing. You don't even know what song it was. Give me one reason to stay here by Tracy Chapman. Give me one reason. Oh. You know, Tracy Chapman. Yeah. I guess we're getting out of here. FAlvarez8085 on Twitter, TheFrankAlvarez on all other forms of social media, that being Instagram and TikTok. Go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard.

Go check out The Basement Yard at The Basement Yard everywhere you enjoy us. Thank you for the love, support, everything that I could have think of. I'm a little fried right now. I'm kind of hungry. It's totally fine. Food's on the way. And that is all see you guys next time