The Basement Yard - #496 - We Survived A Sandstorm

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

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Welcome back to the base Welcome back to the basement yard explain your shirt Explain the show. Oh, it's uh, it's for my butcher It's for your butcher. It's like it's a Churcher each for your burger. I know name Joey couldn't the other day say ironing for some reason What'd I say? I you said I know ring I know ring you'll get the other day say ironing for some reason what I say ironing you said ironing ironing You'll get to that in a little bit. It's from my butcher. They gave me this shirt It was very kind wait you went in and bought meat and he's like here take a shirt

Yeah, every time I go there's this guy. That's your shovel in meat. Yeah, she's a crazy way to say it Yeah, pretty sure his name is will he's a cool, dude But he's over by the deli and I always walk over bro a good deli is so like you need you need a good deli you need somewhere in your neighborhood where people know your name see walk to the door and I like oh look at the big time is here what do you want you know who cats drag things in with the cat yeah they can't the cat drags a lot of stuff what are they like like animals like mice dude? We used to fight my cat used to kill mice and put them in my sister's shoes birds bats

Dude, we gotta like get rid of cats. I think I thought you I loved it. I loved it It was a cute sense. You loved finding bats in your sneakers. Well. I didn't find them in my sneakers They were mostly in my sister's stuff this ray this true. You trained this cat to prank your sister. No, well, it was like a sign of love. That's what cats do it. They do it as like, we love you. Ha, I brought you a bat. Dogs do that shit too! Dogs don't do- they'll bring you fucking- Dogs never brought me a bat. They'll bring you ducks!

Ducks. You've never seen those duck- duck hunt- duck hunt dog! My brother... Oh, like bloodhounds. Yeah, but I don't think it's just the bloodhounds. I don't know. But my brother's dog, he has a husky. And he used to, when he had a yard at his old house,

and he would bring him outside, and he would have to keep him there, just to show all the animals, like, the dog's coming. Mm-hmm. And they'd run into the fucking bushes. Dude. Because he used to go in the backyard and he would murder rats. They're just like their territory animals by nature I

Know I'm animal talk to me Steve Irwin Damn, all right. What's this? What's his son's name? But yo let's get his fucking son in here doing a reptile bring a fucking giraffe Robert I think it's Robert, and then I think his daughter I think I don't know I don't want to say because I think his daughter's name is Bindi, I think, or Bondi. Oops, if it's offensive. I don't even know, I don't know. I think, look up Steve Irwin's kids now, bitch.

I'm sorry, that was too much, you're not a bitch. I think it's Robert. Dude, the kid, I see them cry over stuff and it makes me want to cry. What's her name? Is it Bondi or Bindi? Robert and Bindi. Okay, alright, good but I don't even know how that's offensive but I don't know I do you we I don't know but I'm a screwing up this person's name I don't want to say something offensive okay um so by nature and these animals

are territorial bro we found they were on two different instances we found kittens in alleyways and brought them home and our cat you remember mystique These animals are territorial bro. We found they were on two different instances. We found Kittens in alleyways and brought them home and our cat you remember mystique sticky Lou she was I Had a cat named mystique and make fun of me. She died of guess what cat mouth cancer So hope you feel good about yourself what she blew No, but she did have like a half. They also named their dog Rogue. These people are obsessed with cartoons. It's ridiculous. We made an agreement as a family. I'm so glad you didn't name your daughters after like fucking... I don't even know, Storm. Actually that's a fire!

We were so close. We were very, very close. Storm's a sick name. We were very close. But as a family, we agreed that any pets that we get would be named after X-Men. So we had Mystique, and we had Rogue. Who's next on the list? Well, we now have our own family, so... That any pets that we get would be named after X-Men so we had Mystique and we had Rogue Who's next on the list? Well, we now have our own family so if you get another cat then it's gonna be like us I mean, I'm all about good You know how I feel about animal names if I get an animal I'm not naming him like Francis or like Robert

I know it's fucking like mark I think it's funny like when people have like a like a pug and it's like who's that it's like oh, that's Arthur There's a job stupid. I hate it. You know what I hate I hate when people have like a like a pug and it's like who's that it's like oh that's Arthur there's a job stupid I hate it you know what I hate I hate when people give their cat names jobs this is dr. Buttersworth yeah I could but it's more playful than fucking like bro we talked about this not like a couple of years ago at this point but like Aaron judge has this beautiful little dog and its name is like Kevin And it's like it's horrible that sucks Kevin's on your pet name needs to be playful

I fully agree though Alfred is a good dog name, but like like that's a stupid name Yeah, like maybe it depends what dog it is. We've gotten past like certain human names like Gertrude and like you know Eustace like those I was alright what severance the other day but like we've gotten past those names suck we all agree that those names suck sorry any girdies out there bill it comes back it's cyclical I know it is cyclical but right now what were old-timey names can be pet names and then what are now like pet names will be old-timey names eventually like imagine you and then what are now like pet names will be old-timey names eventually Like imagine you had like a fat cat. It's like who's that? It's like that's Barbara like that's hilarious

It is but also like I hate it. I would rather that I agree with you because Kevin is you're also going So bad you have the perfect you skirted the line So perfectly with Charlie because it is close it's very close it's a good playful animal named Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie but it's also like that sucks as a name and forgive me for any Charles's or Charlie's out there but it sucks ok I mean you naming your pets after X-Men is way cooler to you I and you're also wearing that shirt which by the way

Speaking of cyclical let's come back around like a circle Frank You got a shirt on that you got from your butcher. It is my butcher which is fine It is cool, and it's a great place, and it's a cool place Lenny's, but turn around but turn around Frankie turn around Because we want to see the back of the shirt We just want to look the shirt the front of the shirt looks so cool it doesn't I'm interested in what the back of the shirt looks like Brahma Bowl like the rock me and the rock do me a favor give me a little spin oh yeah 180 oh you want like a full spin a half spin no not like that? Show the back of this shirt please. Okay. Turn back around before we get demonetized.

I know why you're doing that and I just want to say- Because it's got fat nuts on the back of it. It does have nuts. Well they're bull balls dude. Bull balls are a set- they're a symbol for power and and and strength right and just you know yeah um can anyone can anyone picture what would happen if I wore a shirt like that what

would happen on this show it would be 45 minutes well here's why here's why it would be 45 minutes because yours would be's why. Here's why it would be 45 minutes. Cause yours would be like an... See, and you're doing it and I haven't even worn it. Aim, what is it? Aim de Leon? What was it? Aim-Aimie de Leon? Or, or fucking...

Kith. They'd be kith-bull balls. That's why it would be funny because you would spend money on it. This was a gift from a butcher. Do you not expect a shirt from a butcher to include some form of nudity no here's I have no expectation of what that even could possibly I fully disagree I think that Frank you're wearing a shirt that has animal balls on them and you're like they're a symbol of strength and whatever I don't think that you can hear how much shit you're full of I will be really honest bullshit

That's very good. Good job comedy I'll be very honest with you. I Love this butcher. I threw this shirt on this morning I was like, you know what I am gonna wear it in because I want to support local business good Unlike some people here Joe, by the way, just tried to legally change his middle name to Elon. That's true That's what he tried to do. Let what he tried to do I fucking hate that guy annoys me to no end um but I I if you're wearing a shirt from a butcher you don't expect there to be something obscene on it you know how many if I had told you that one of

the people at the butcher making that connection because they're butchers yeah well that means they're just kind of you making that connection? Because they're butchers! Yeah, what does that mean? They're delis! They're just kinda like they're all, you know, they're sweaty Butchers are not delis. Delis are like... To me, it's two in one! No, what do you mean? Like you walk in there and it's like a bodega? No, that's a bodega So what do you... Okay, like a deli, like it's got like the meats and stuff, you can buy sandwiches?

So yeah, so you walk in By the way is there cows? Yeah, but like you can like but you go in the back and they have like their meat cut out and Lay it out, and it's like here's the chicken is they kill the animals there though I don't think they kill him there, but they but they get them and they cut them up there They get full animals, and they're like we're gonna cut the art This is getting made in a couple of a by she, you should do ribs, this is gonna be all of it. Yo, it's kinda crazy to have it in you to like kill animals all day.

I don't think the butchers kill the animals. They just get the carcasses. I mean, you carve them. That's a crazier part of it. That is pretty crazy. It's like a science. Like, you ever see that thing in any, well, you don't go to butchers

because you're not as elevated as I am. I've been to a butcher before You you're going to a deli. It's not even a butcher. Well. They also have a deli section where they have their This place is the literally Amazing, but I go to this butcher. You know what dead animals on the walls You know how you know how you know and they have a choo-choo train You know how that's a real butcher a cow escapes from it once a year Bro the one on 20th Avenue Dude cows running around all the time

They found a cow on dipmars Boulevard, dude, and it was like yeah, it's escaped from the butcher. That's kind of cool I once saw there was a poultry place, which is a chicken butcher What do you think I'm in second grade you think I'm an idiot? I'm not explaining it to you I'm explaining it to our millennial audience that doesn't even know what a millennial There's that's 30 years old Frank if you don't know poultry by now Jen's a show has killed you Jen Z who's a current one Jen Jen double-a Jen Jen wait Oh, do we go? Where do you go from Jen? You go? You go back to a baby you go double-a Jen alpha They call him Jen double-a or Jen alpha or something like that. No one's watching us. Who's seven years old?

Bro, I get cameo requests. From seven year olds? Bro, and it's like, can you please wish my son a happy birthday? It's his 12th birthday. He loves the show. That's unbelievable. That is crazy. Also- I stand corrected. Don't-

Like, thank you, but like- Yeah. Bull balls. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. They just saw an animal's nuts. I'm just saying here, oh, so the poultry place, it was near where I went to middle school and it was under the train and I watched someone

legitimately, I remember it as clear as day. No. They went to like under the train pigeons, bagged them up and went into, yep up and went into the poultry place swear Swear, that's got to be a leagues If it's not it should it should be I would have called I would have snitched. I mean now listen Pigeon known as squab is a delicacy in other countries not this one if you were to tell me That what I was eating was a

New York pigeon. Forget it. You couldn't. There's no way. I'd rather chew gum that I found under my desk in my public school classroom. Well. Than eat a pigeon. Yeah. But I would go to another country and eat their pigeon. Whose? Whose country do you think has the best pigeons? France. I would love a French pigeon I would because the name itself is already French be young is something going on you keep shushing us oh sorry I'm just no he's just going like oh he's just he's in contemplated

thought I'm so pensive fuck up the name itself is French be shown yeah is it don't don't don't it's not I i think it's just a word look at the word you're saying it with a french accent doesn't make it french on look it up now you have to know if i'm right and i'm right you have to kiss the bull balls on my back what exactly i'm saying is pigeon friend is pigeon where is it with the country of origin have you never watched the spell spelling bee is pigeon french pigeon is a french word. Kiss the balls, bitch. Come on.

I'm not kissing those balls. Kiss these nuts. For a peeping chick? While dove is ultimately a Germanic word possibly referring to the bird's diving flight. Wow. Did you know that? Dude, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the word pigeon is French. Why? Why? Because you just- why? Because you look at it and you see like, oh, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the word pigeon is French What why because you just why because you look at it? And you see like oh it has like similar French spelling to like other like pigeon. I got nothing I mean, I got cutary. I've been completely derailed

Patisserie pigeon I'm right, so you're I know you are your are, your reasoning feels wrong, but you got it right. I'm a little offended that you don't like my... Butcher slash deli shirt. It's not that I don't like it, I think that it's a funny shirt. Thank you. I'm saying if I wore it, we live- I'm saying we live two different lives. I'm held to some standard.

That's right, you are. Because- Because look at what's behind you! A Polaroid picture picture and a fake award. Behind me is Power Rangers T and Game Boy. I'm confused by what point you're making. Because I think people expect a little bit more of eclecticness. Eclecticity? From who? Me or you?

Me. You? You're the eclectic one? You don't think I'm the eclectic one that collects Power Rangers, dude? That's it! And T. And is wearing... and is wearing... You, Frank, you're the one... Uh, uh, uh, uh... First of all...

Yeah. And is wearing a unicorn kitty cat on his neck. Frank, you're the one who always says that, Here we go, this Joe, oh that Joe, oh this Joe, that Joe. That sounds like an eclectic guy. You're... I don't think you are... Eclectic, ec sounds like an eclectic guy. You're I don't think you are like like I think that you're I think Your hobbies are more mainstream hobbies What does that mean? Personal how you're into Marvel the highest grossing movies of all time real mainstream, but bitch. Sorry. Sorry. I'm pulling back the bitch back bitch

We sinned bitches I was into that before all that stuff and you know it I Had the Marvel trading cards and the X-Men trading cards in the 90s. You know it Oh, so comic books and the creation of cartoons isn't mainstream prior to where it currently is sure It's grown it is grown But what I'm saying is like if my if I started getting into that stuff after it became mainstream I could see your argument. What do you like baseball? America's past I'm saying that every hobby I or thing

I like is eclectic But I would think the people generally will agree that I am a little bit more eclectic than you if not significantly more fix your chain Well, they'll believe it because you've created narratives on this show that only exist here. You know what's funny though? Yeah. None of my narratives are fake though. Really?

Frank, you create narratives all the time about how I am a, if I say the words we'll get demonetized. You're right, you're right, you're right. That is obviously fake. But about me and my eclecticity is not fake. It is a legitimate, true, real... I'm the salt of the earth, baby. Like, I am the people's people.

I think that's why people like this show. See, this is the narrative I'm talking about. See, this is the narrative that I'm talking about. So, like, this is where we start to get into, like, alright, I think that's why people enjoy the show because they get... Because you create stuff. They get one percenter... Right. like all right I think that's why people enjoy the show because they get they get one percenter right corporate Joe and then they get an alcoholic I never said

that and I would never I'm saying right now I never said that yeah right today today I didn't yeah but you've created that narrative bro do you know that I saw something online and it was a video of you dancing at the AC show Yeah, that was- And I saw a comment on that and it was like, where is Joe? And someone was like, he was probably getting blackout drunk And I was like What?

Scott Frank's dancing and drinking Grey Goose I'm double fisting a Grey Goose and a champagne bottle Sitting in the back of the thing talking to Zach. Dancing to Bobby Schmurda on a couch. Like, it's a sick video, but like, but like, this is what you've done. Yes.

Yo, Lush, what do you like to do? Drink? I know. The world knows, Joey. Right. And I am a jokester. So all of, but back to what you just said. You are... I am. A very disciplined young man.

Who takes his personal health very seriously See now he's doing this now I'm be- you want- I'm- what I'm saying is my eclecticness, my eclecticity Yeah Is definitely not a narrative that has been spun I'm the worst, you're the best I never said that! And you're the most eclectic

See now you're projecting, you're projecting You see that? Watch, I got him with it, I got him You're projecting I never said that being non-eclectic is is being bad or the worst I just think that no I was referring to the other things those things were are pretty bad right yeah, but you're not those Okay, but I am more eclectic than you okay Now that we have that settled My point is if I wore that shirt it would be over well again

it would be a wrap because you would wear it and it would be a Balenciaga shirt with bull balls on it amber crombie Where are those shoes from? new balance Take them off. What's on the inside? What's on the inside? Amelie on bill it's still new's still New Balance, it's a collab. I'll be really honest with you, I don't know what Amelie on Dior is. It's a brand! I don't know, I didn't know.

Free! Yeah that's right, they gave it to us at the Just For Laughs Bank. We're both wearing free stuff. We're wearing- most of the stuff on me has been gifted. Who's got a more expensive outfit on? You. This? This was a gift a gift what am I wearing? Let's see let's see your wrist Okay, I stole I go I accidentally stole this from the shoot oh I almost took some jewelry from him oops, but I didn't I give it back I got back to the hotel I go I don't think they care maybe they've made it seem like what's that though what's on that one we went too far what Joe is referring to by the way with shoot we we were just out in Palm Springs we won't say who it was for what because I don't know if we're

allowed to yet I don't think so like I wouldn't wouldn't. I'm not gonna that's what I'm saying but we were out in Palm Springs. Yep. California and quite the quite the ride. Interesting way to get there for sure. It was an interesting ride in. Now me and Frank took different flights. We met in Denver and then we took a plane from Denver to Palm Springs. I've never been to Palm Springs It's in the middle of the desert apparently a lot of people go there didn't know that it was an international airport That was shocking and the airport was as big as a baseball field legitimately it was first of all 90% of it was outside. Yeah, and everyone is 65 years old yeah, and and White white as fuck white as hell I now that I'm thinking about it

mm-hmm the only two black people I saw the entire trip were on our set no one in the airport no one in the town yep no one at the restaurant we went to yep yeah so oh he's out there they love it in the in the desert I guess but Palm Springs it's like known as like a I had no idea it's like old Hollywood like cuz there's like Palm Springs pioneer it's like known as like a, I had no idea. It's like old Hollywood, like cause there's like Palm Springs, Pioneer Town, apparently is a huge music place. I had no clue of any of that. We were there and they were just like,

yeah, this is where the Stones recorded this album, and then like, Yeah, the doors and, Yeah. I was like, I, I don't know if I can know. I feel like, But, so we connected in Denver,

and we flew from Denver to Palm Springs, which was longer than I thought it was gonna be, by the way. Yeah, it was like two hours from there and then when we're descending flight was like normal for the most part then we're like descending into Palm Springs and the captain's like we're gonna have the flight attendants sit down because it's gonna get a little choppy. It didn't get a little choppy it got a lot of chop it was a fucking full

on chopped salad I was we were chide chopped our fucking heads off I worst times I've ever been in without a doubt the worst I've been in and you know I have fully explained my mentality getting on a plane Frank hates flying I don't like flying I do it and it's not like when I'm on the plane I'm like I need to like take something or I'm a nervous wreck I'm fine, but like the minute I feel like a little shake a little shake. You're like up. Yep so we're descending and We're bouncing around dude, dude like bad Not like I don't know how to explain it but like roller coaster like not only that but like

Weirdly doing stuff like this. It was like that. And I'm like, I keep seeing the sky and then the floor and then the sky and then the floor. And we're going through clouds. So I start feeling the bounce. Dude, Frankie, I'm like, it starts going. And there was bumps and stuff. And for like five minutes, I'm like, all right, whatever. was like bumps and stuff and it's for like five minutes

I'm like alright Whatever like you know you kind of get through patches of turbulence like that, but it was turbulent So the word that's a great word for like 20 25 minutes something like that and it got just progressively worse until like the last half a minute I was and then we hit the ground. But like we we start going through like a lot of turbulence and I'm like, oh, Frank's probably freaking out.

And I look I look over at Frank. He's sitting right next to me. And I was because I was looking out the window and I was like, I just want to know if it's going to happen. But then I turn around, I look at Frank and he's just like this.

Breaking Bad blasting in his ears, holding his phone, not watching, and just doing this. So I was watching, I downloaded this season of Breaking Bad, which re-watch it. Or watch it for the first time if you haven't, okay? And, science bitch, yeah bitch! And, thank you. Yeah. And I just stopped watching, but it was playing in my ears.

So I'm like sitting there trying to be calm and Walter jr. Is screaming in my ear, and you know I'm not doing that I'm not I'm sure that won't offend anybody do it it will and I'm not gonna so I'm sitting there screaming and then You like a psycho have your window wide open You don't want to watch no. Oh oh I want to I have the windows closed that's why I sit at the window because I like to look nope I know we're high up I'll be honest I even sometimes convince myself like we're actually not really like this is all like a prank and we're not really in the air we're still on the ground but like people are like trying to make it seem like we're flying that's

what you do in your sometime I've done that like when I first started flying like pretty consistently or not even like This was like like eight years ago when I was like getting on planes. I Would sit aisle and I would be like I'm on a bus. Yeah, it's a bumpy road on a bus Yeah, that's exactly and you know like there's this... I don't like hitting the ground without seeing though. No, I know, like I know the feeling of hitting the ground. I'm like good until we're like, you know, close to the ground because I put myself in the mentality of like, we're at a safe fallable distance.

You know what I mean? Like, we're still high and going fast, but like this is a safer distance. But like... He thinks explode. Yeah, so I'm high and going fast. Yeah, like this is a safer distance, but like Yeah, so I'm sitting there eyes closed Walter jr. Do the impression you're doing it I'm not doing you the impressions guy I am but I'm not come on eclectic man do the impression Frank don't do Just doing the face you made. Alright, go. I saw your light flash before you arrived. You're like, no! I mean, this is me worrying for your life.

I know, I know. No, I would never. That's offensive. And we're like going, and I look over, and I look at the window. Yeah. And we're going through a cloud, but I guess there was a light that flashed. It's from the wing.

The flashing light. Well, no, because we were way in front of the wing. It might have been on the front of the plane or something. There was a light that flashed. And the color of the light that flashed made the cloud that we were going through look like fire. So I just went, nope. And I just went nope

I thought about that too because as we were go like when you're going through Or if it's like raining and you get close to the ground and you're going through a cloud the lights from the plane Just make it look like you're going way faster than you are That like as that was happening I'm looking at I was like like oh god That's even creeping me out and look over at Frankie And I just like I didn't see him looking, but I saw him turn his head back, and I was like I really hope he didn't Look, I really hope we didn't see out the window about that. Yeah, so we landed safely. Thank God. Yeah, you know Thank you to the flight crew. I guess I don't know pilot. Yeah pilots. I don't know why I said it like that pilot then again Palm Springs guys desert show of hands here can anyone tell me what they have in the desert almost exclusively anyone that's

right dirt and sand sand that's it so get out, 40 mile per hour winds, and we're getting blasted in the face. Yeah, we're like walking to baggage claim and it's like a fucking college campus. There's like a cafeteria and shit and you get outside and I'm like, oh okay, they weren't kidding about the wind. And like there's dirt in my eyes. I'm eating it. I could feel it between my teeth. And then we get in our Uber and the guy, I think was didn't he say something like he didn't know where we were going. And I was like, dude, something like that. Whatever. But like he was he was awesome. Shout to Dan. He's not watching.

He so he we start driving and I just have my head down. We have a 40 minute drive now. We've been traveling all day Yeah, it's a 12 hour fucking travel day. We have like a 50 minute drive to where our Airbnb is and We're in the car and I just have my head down. I'm just like looking and I just hear Frank go. Oh, whoa. Whoa So I look up and I look out the window and I can't see anything because we are in a sandstorm. Yeah. And not like the cool EDM electronica song, Stamstorm. Da da da da da.

Dan dun da da da da. Yeah, no. And hands over there going. Not the banging. Yeah. But yeah, so we are. A legit like. Sandstorm.

Tatooine. Jacque. A legit, like- Sandstorm. Tatooine. Jacque. You know, sandstorm. Yeah, it was kind of wild. And then the guy even said- So we were asking about him, because it was so windy, like, is it normally windy like this? He's like, yeah, it gets windy sometimes and whatever. Then we're kind of talking about the weather.

It gets real hot or whatever the fuck. So I'm like, okay, this guy's like, spent some time out here. He's a professional driver like whatever and We're driving and We're in the middle of the sandstorm, and I'm like holy shit Dude, we can't see anything out the front of the windshield and he just goes guys this isn't good And I'm like I don't want to hear that yeah And you still by the way through the first like minute of the sandstorm going 85 miles per hour

We were sending you were not and I just click I just put my fucking belt on I was like you hit a rattlesnake in the road. We're going flying. That's the other fucking thing We're as we pull up to the Airbnb after we go through a fucking tornado basically like Dorothy We were at Oz He goes alright just be careful out there we're like for what he's like okay Odie's rattlers I'm like get us in this fucking house it was like we were exhausted at this point there was a charcuterie board waiting for us that was very generous and very kind

that was the first time I've had a charcuterie board at midnight And well midnight fucking Palm Springs Yeah, that was a late cheese that I had yeah sure that haunt you the next morning No, I was fine So I was like great that like that that whole trip like that was surprised like sometimes when I go like on trips and stuff I feel like I get too nervous. Oh and like I'm me gets a little rumbly bumbly or something like that. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but overall it was really cool But it was an awesome experience. We had so much fun on that shoot those people were so fucking cool Yeah, so thank God for that. I was like yeah

When is this shit gonna stop there was us at the set that we were at there was a snake handler Yeah, that was a little scary, and I was like at the end of the day I was like did you find anything she was just, I was like, did you find anything? She was just like, nothing to worry about, just a snake, a gopher snake. Gophers brother. Yeah. Those are- I only know them from Caddyshack.

That's right. And that was a fake one, but I imagine they're similar size. They still got gophers? Yeah, they got them. But yo, so those are the ones, I'm assuming they call them gophers because they do borrowing too because we saw those holes well she what she called it a gopher snake I imagine it's because like they swallow gophers Alright, that was where I went, but probably you're right and there were holes Ever there was like snake-sized holes ever and like every yo aunt yeah everywhere, and I don't do like bad with animals, but like

And like every yo and yeah everywhere, and I don't do like bad with animals, but like Those are we're in their territory, but we were in the desert Yeah, we drove like and the shoot was like not it was like very like decently far into the backyard So like we're in the den yeah, yeah, we also have that collection of rocks. I was like dude. I don't like that Yeah, I was a community. That was a nest yeah, you know it was a nest, but but it was a good experience We had a lot of fun. Thank God we survived no coyotes no coyotes you think you could take a coyote one Yeah, really? Coyotes they're not they're just like little dogs right I could take a coyote it would definitely hurt, but I would get one Yeah, I would get it off me

You get off on it you know I didn't say You know I didn't say that I think one coyote 15 to 45 pounds yeah beating the coyote yeah no problem two coyotes problem problem with a good set of legs like if you if I roll my ankle now this is gonna get tougher I've never met a dog that can like really manhandle me. Are you serious? Yeah, I don't think I have dude There's dogs out there. They just look like Joey knowing Joey. Holy shit gray wolves gray wolves are how big 20 to 50 pounds? 70 pounds no 70 to 115 oh shit fuck that and how tall are they?

Well first of all six and a half feet long bananas? Yeah? No? Yeah? We're not fucking two inches almost three feet coyote I'm fucking beating the hell out of but a wolf a Mexican wolf. What the fuck is that I? Don't know there's so many jokes to be made that we're not gonna touch them. I'm not gonna I heard you go Don't fucking say a word but yeah yeah I was like don't fucking say a word um but yeah gray wolf really quick it looked like gay wolf I was like whoa wait gray wolf isn't that someone's name in gray worm

well I know I remember gray worm but isn't someone like gray oh um in fucking Fenrir Greyback from Harry Potter Fenrir what? Fenrir Greyback from Harry Potter he's the he's a he's a Death Eater the one that has all the snarl like gnarly teeth oh and he's just like oh I'm aware well he's the one that attacked Sirius Black well no I don't think I don't know if he attacks him but in in canon he's the one that gave Remus Lupin the werewolf disease because he attacked him you're saying a lot all

right well we do have advertisements we have to get to those Junkies they're just little puppies no and Joey he'd be like I'll tell you right now. I would give a coyote three tries before I hit it back really if a coyote latched onto my neck as Long as I'm not gushing blood. I'm gonna still be like I'm nice I'm a good boy remind me I just did that like kissing like a like a dog remind me of a story after you read these ads all right so we do have sponsors for today the first one being stamps calm okay they bring all the amazing things of

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But yeah, go check it out. We love you, we appreciate you, and let's keep this party going. Keep this party going. I just did that thing where I was like beckoning a dog. At the shoot that we were at, again, it will remain nameless for now, but we were rapping on one of the takes and they were just like all right let's do something a little more

fun and playful and Joe and I were like all right and Joe walks up to me and I beckoned you like a dog and like kiss at you and then it was silent and they go let's just do one more yeah they were really nice about it when you I think when you like do something a little weird, they're like, all right, we're going to do one more. I'm like, that was great. Yeah. But the best was your necklace.

It was like, what is this? This is so nice. And you're like, oh, my daughter gave it to me. Oh, my god, I love it. Can we just put it behind your neck? Can we just put it behind your neck? It was mad funny. Yeah, it was funny.

That was like a legit shoot. Yeah, it was cool. It was really were that was that was like a legit like shoot. Yeah, it was cool It was it was really really cool. I had a great time. Yeah, I think it's gonna come out great I'm excited for people to see that also I want to bring this up before I forget cuz I have a picture of it in my phone I think someone sent it to me and then you should talk about this. Oh, no, I think it was my sister She sent to me. She's like, this is a basement our topic that you guys should bring up. Okay, what's it? Is it real who knows doesn't matter don't include that we're not listen

Don't put that in the clip Did you know apparently before mating allegedly? That's fine before mating male giraffes headbutt the females in the bladder until they pee Then taste it to see if she's ovulating Kinky Yeah, yeah, dude. Imagine being horny and being like give me your piss That's what people do dude. They just piss. play. There's out there. Oh some oh, okay That's what I'm saying so you're a cake. You know what listen. I I'm not into it

I'm not you're not gonna get me a rap. Oh My dress are awesome dress are cool. Yeah, but also Don't don't don't all right their headbutton bladders and drinking piss over there I say when I was younger. I had once to make myself pee punched my bladder repeatedly Yeah, you're a giraffe. Yeah, that's basically yes. I am trying to see if you're ovulating No, I didn't care about if I was ovulating because I can't I was just trying to make myself pee, but If anyone tries to tell you and kink shame you people you pissers out there you know wherever you may be yeah I'm not I mean if you were I

fully support your love for whatever piss you're into you know I would pay on someone if they wanted me to crazy I don't I don't think I could I'm not gonna judge you I first went crazy it is You wouldn't pee on you wouldn't pee no I can't and thank you for not asking Sorry that was going what I know you say you wouldn't pee on your wife. No. I was yeah, I was like Yeah, thank you for not personalizing it. I appreciate that like all right, but like if she really wanted it Hey, don't talk about my wife. Yeah, okay, but no First of all don't say hey don't talk about my wife like I'm disrespecting her wife. You're asking me to piss on her I'm not asking that you're saying if she was into that I like no I would say

Respectfully right this is not you put on a suit Madam I have a clipboard and I would say, Ma'am? I don't think I can oblige. Yeah, I would tip of the cap. Yeah. And I would say, I just don't think.

I'd get Southern for it obviously. Because that feels like that would be the way to respond. Right. You know, just not me. If you want to let someone down, you do it with a cowboy voice. I just, I don't think I could bring myself to do it. Like you ever, what was that movie? Um, the restaurant movie, right? Waiting. Yeah. Remember the guy in waiting just couldn't piss in a public toilet. Yeah, I would feel like that. Okay. You have like performance anxiety.

For pissing. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do it. Okay, but what I was saying for you kinkers out there I don't know that feels like a slap right for the people into going to kick your foot we just take that out of it's not a slur we look that up make sure good little slurs girl girl don't gargle it. It'll gargle that

For those that are into kinks. Yeah If you let anyone shame you just say it's natural Giraffes are doing it giraffes are doing piss play Yeah, monkeys are doing poop play when you think about it the thing that the giraffes are doing makes a lot of sense It's like they're testing there. They're they're doing what what a what's it called does How do you find if you're pregnant exactly pee on this day pee on it pee on this stick exactly and they're just testing the waters instead of putting the toe in they're putting their tongue

let me ask you a question here I don't know what question you could possibly ask me I it's the ones coming okay so you know how you have to pee on the pregnancy thing and then you wait and then you find out if you're pregnant or not I don't have to no I know but thing and then you wait and then you find out if you're pregnant or not? I don't have to. No, I know. But I'm saying like, so that's a thing. What if there was an extra step? And you had to like put it in your mouth like a thermometer? Crazy. Would you, would you, I mean, would you do it?

Me? Yeah, yeah. Wait, why am I- Like if that was the thing. If it was like that- If like the way to find out if the person's pregnant- You pee on the stick and then you have to- And then your partner needs to put their mouth on it Yeah

Because you need both you need the male you need the female. I should I heard P you got your you know what? I'm gonna I guess it's the least that I can do in that exactly Yeah, I was gonna say my fucking what in this situation wife is going through the insane process of being pregnant If that's what it takes do a little thermometer. I'll do it because she's doing enough. You know what I'm saying? And honestly that it may make the test go faster. We don't know. We definitely know it doesn't. We can say that with confidence. Say it definitely has no effect right now. Yeah. I'm sure there are people that do that. That was a trap and you pass. Good job. I mean, I, yep.

Neither of us can talk. What did I do? I said pistol earlier. Pistol. He's probably not going to be happy about that. They sign up for this company. They'll give you a pistol. Bring your pistol is what you said. Did I say that? I think so.

We can always redo it on the back end. It's no big deal. No, we're fine. Yeah, I hope. But shout out to giraffes, man. I just I think it is a smart way. Are there any animals that do shit like that? Or they're just like, yo, like piss on me so I know if you're pregnant. Look up hyena. Yep. I know this one. I know this one. Do you know? Yeah, with the, yeah. They gave, so the female hyenas basically give birth through whatever their birthing canal is. It looks like a...

Uterus? No, no, no. But it's like some... It's something else. It's like the way it comes out, it looks like... I don't need to see it. I saw it once on Animal Planet. I'm not going to pull up a...

Or discovery. I'm saying type in hyena pregnancy. But they have to like bite open and rip open their... They're like uterus. I think oh my god Yeah, it looks like a basically like a penis. It's only a hundred ten days Wow Jesus What's all right? We want an explanation. We don't want no we don't want I don't want to see it No, why would I want to see it? So you say how how so how I need a how does a hyena? I mean, there's a right there. How's the hyena where there's a right there?

Where a right there? I mean there's a right there. How's the hyena? There's a right there where a right there? That is a me How does it me how does a hyena give birth go ahead? We don't need to show this we can aren't the males the one that are pregnant or something no That's that's seahorses. Well. I know that I don't know why that's such a well-known fact It's one of those random things that we learn in elementary school. Yeah, I never forget how to get out of fucking Yeah, a pseudo penis see? Which they give birth through. The birth canal is only about one inch in diameter. And the suffocation of the cubs is sadly common.

Oh my god, that's heartbreaking. The successful birth will result in one to six cubs weighing around a kilogram each Yeah, they got a like their shit like explodes though Well, they have to like rip it open in order to prevent my god at being an animal is so wild The animal kingdom is just bananas sometimes you know what I'm saying like they're given through birth through penises Yeah, and like headbutting each other's head ding-dong. It's just piss. Yeah pee drinking the pee. What is it in? Hey, I Guess headbutting your your bladder worked right because it works for them I mean, I just pee if you push on a bladder you'll someone will pee I

Don't even know where my bladder is like I know it's like you're like your pubic area like that general area like a little Higher in the front. Yeah. Yeah, yeah This is my bladder. Yeah behind there. I mean, it's not on your you know, it's it's a couple layers back Yeah, yeah, but when I when I had knee surgery in high school I they told me I couldn't leave until I peed but I like the epidural was still in effect Yeah, see the epidural was still in effect. This is a lot of pictures brother. They're medical. Yeah, it's right here. Nice. He was right. It's pretty much. Yeah, your pubic area. But they told me I couldn't leave until

my... Until you pissed. Until I pissed because of the... What's the fucking thing? I just said the word. Epidural. Epidural wore wore off So I had a piece so bad, but like the muscles in the area like I couldn't like release it And did they give you a catheter? No, so I was sitting there Punching my bladder to pee and that were they there for that the nurse saw me Because it literally was like you know when like you know the awesome sound of When you milk a cow into a metal bucket we've talked about this thing ceiling Yeah, you know they heard that because every time I punch my bladder piss would shoot out Oh, you had one of the metal pans. I had it was it was a basically looked like

Like a half gallon like milk jug yeah But they like cut a part of the top out and they heard that and they came over and they're like, what's going on? And they saw me and they reopened my drugs and put me back to sleep because they were like, you need to go back to sleep. Frankie, just to be clear, I don't want to set the scene here. You're telling me that you had surgery and you woke up and you had a pee really bad. So you're punching your bladder and pee is coming out of your penis like that.

Harder. Harder? You want me to show you? No, I don't. What do you mean? No. I don't even know what you were attempting to do just now. And then the nurse puts you back to sleep because it's like this man's psychotic.

Yeah, that's the second time they had to put me back to sleep because I got hurt playing high school football. So the PSAL, which was the public school athletic league for public schools, they paid for everything. And it was like the top of the line doctors. Oh wow. I got my knee surgery at the hospital for special surgeries. It was with the doctor that did all the surgeries for the Jets.

Is this relevant to the story or are you flexing on us. It's relevant to the story So as I was getting ready and prepped for surgery, they're like, hey by the way Obviously this comes at no cost to you. Do you want to wake up during your surgery? I'm like, what do you mean wake up during your surgery? And they're like well We'll give you an epidural and you'll wake up we'll wake you up in the middle of the surgery So you could be awake and see what's going on and they had like a camera A monitor and they're like you could see you could watch a surgery. That's kind of fine. No not for you in Did you wake up you do you don't so I woke up and I was in I was laying down told

I'm like yo wake me up. I said yeah, and both my parents were like what? And I was like yeah, fuck it. Why not? They're probably like no one elects to have they were like I was like it's free So why not I would do that too, so I I woke up. I went to sleep with the anesthesia I woke up obviously I don't know how much longer later, but like there was like a big hood Over like my up like my chest and there was like a big like I couldn't see my legs Mm-hmm, and there was blowing hot air on me Bro in the OR they were like listening to Coldplay

It was they were having the time of their life in there Yeah, like you know I wake up and I hear fucking clocks and I'm like alright Clocks, but I felt a pressure like all I could feel was something It felt like something was like pushing on my leg like that, Ugh. But it was weird because you can't feel below the waist. Right. Weird. I didn't grasp that concept. Could you move?

I could move this. But again, it was under- Did you move this? Yeah! It was under- it was under a- like a- like a thing blowing hot air on me. And then I went to like wiggle my legs and I couldn't. Weird. And mentally I just got freaked out. So I was just like,

and the anesthesiologist was sitting right next to me and I'm like, I can't move my legs. And they're like. You're getting surgery, dumb ass. Well, not only that, but they were like, yeah, that's the epidural. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, no, but like I can't.

And I started like freaking out and wiggling and I could hear they were just like, all right, put them back. So they just like, it was like, no, but like I can't, and I started like freaking out and wiggling. And I could hear they were just like, all right, put them back. Yeah. So they just like, it was like- Knock them out. Basically. So I'm breaking a sweat trying to move my legs.

And they just like released the valve for my anesthesia. And I just literally, I was like, gone. Damn dude. You don't like needles? I just, I can't imagine that. What did they expect to happen? Like what do you I mean? I also think they did expect him to be like And I saw on the screen like it looked like someone was like in like peach colored jelly did they open your

so like My only good I would ask them I bet you're like, yo, are you gonna open it? Or like, you're doing this like microscopic bullshit. So I had four openings. So, cause my knee was basically- Did they cut and open? Look at him. We found his thing. Really?

It's actually hard, yeah. Really? Yeah, I don't know why. Are you afraid of needles? No, I'm not. It's just, I'm picturing, like looking at my own knee being open. I would definitely elect to see that that's crazy

So I if I had no plan, I didn't see that but the way that they did it on me was Normally, it's like three holes that were in my like knee cap because my whole knee was fucked ACL MCL PCL Patella like it was fucking spaghetti in there TLC and then Underneath maybe like you store all those everything would you tear ACL MCL LCL PCL and my patella was fucked what did you do for doors ACL PCL they steer my LPG That's a hole in the... That's great. What happened? Whatever, it doesn't matter.

So they opened the shit and they had to fix everything. So there was three holes and then the opening was a slit. Woah dude! You got a vagina? And they, from there, because they opted, when I was getting the surgery done, they were like, do you want the new ligaments, do you want them to be cadaver

Or do you want them to be your own ligaments get a dead guy's knee in my knee? Well, no, I took my own so the little slit that they do is they had to go into my hamstring and they took some ligaments from my hamstring and use that to Reconstruct my own shit because they said they were like there's a chance that your body rejects the cadaver and then you got a big fucking issue you know it could be haunted you could have a haunted cadaver knee and that's the issue is that basically yeah but yeah and I was fucked damn dude my knee is starting to feel a little weird really I'm not even kidding you don't like needles why do we keep

saying needles I don't think needles was you're very squeamish. No, and I don't like scalpels Scalpels yeah, okay. We're starting to get there. You don't like stabbing I'm a little less cool with that one like I know what you don't like and you're ready for this Well, you don't like when you see that thing that's like prying open skin. Yes that freaks you out That's what I'm picturing and it's starting to affect my actual knee right now. Really? Yeah interesting Yeah, it doesn't bother me It was I still don't have feeling in some of my knee and like you could still see that where they went like the scar Is still there were you on were you producing this show while we had this conversation where I said like I was trying not to sound

Like a serial killer, but watching someone like a doctor do surgery and like cutting open something, I think that's fascinating. Frank, we don't care. That's where they went into my hamstring, right there. Yeah, it's pretty prominent, honestly. And it's still like not, like the feeling is still not back. I think like the scar tissue or something. They're still putting you under. Well, they fed you a lot of anesthesia that day you've never been under anesthesia have no no that's a that's a picky boys video asking right there all right yeah get an anesthesiologist in here oh it's like a thing have you ever seen videos of people fighting anesthesia I would probably do that probably I would 100%

do that you would fail obviously there 100% do that. You would fail, brother. Obviously, I would fail. There are people that fight it for like minutes, and they're like, uh, like, Steve-o. Yeah. There's like, bro, look up people fighting anesthesia. If there's any, what are we going to play the video on this thing? I mean, why not? You can't.

But like, you just don't want to. Eh. You wouldn't do good with like, have you ever seen like a crime scene photo or anything? I'm okay. It's something about the act of it actually, like actively happening. So like a dead person. I think I'd be alright with that.

But what about if they got hit by a train and they're smooshed? I'm okay with that because that's, that's, that's, they're dead. They're gone. It's a result. You know, it's so the it's a result. So they're like in progress. Yes. Of it all so surgery

Yeah, that'd be tough. I try like well, no one's begging you to try Do you say I will try I try to look sometimes if like it crosses my page and I can't What when the hell is surgical procedures crossing your page? I've gotten that like sometimes I've never gotten that have you have you've never been? Under an seizure or gotten surgery. What can you not what what can you not watch like something like that? I have something that's similar to that that I like refused to watch Um, I'll give you time to think mine is like people getting hurt in the gym can't watch it Like you ever see I saw this video like by accident and like now I can't watch videos like Unless it's very obvious that the dude doesn't get hurt and they're just doing like a workout thing

They're like getting backwards or something No, like so I don't have a problem with people like fainting after like deadlifting or something kind of funny, but Someone was like leg pressing and their legs So like because of that I can't watch if I'm looking at a video and it just looks very Raw is not the right thing, but if it looks like that. I won't watch it Yeah, I like yeah, I can't I used to remember that show that was on MTV when we were kids. It was called scarred Yes, I loved that show and they just they had some gnarly shit on there like skateboarders It's like yeah fucking board went right through my neck. I was like what the fuck is I just tell my girlfriend at the time like

No, I might end up on it cuz you're so wild. She was like oh my god stop My legs it could be my leg probably my legs which are mostly scars the people saw it they saw that my legs is you Probably told her like yeah, I submitted my legs, but I'm waiting here back what I submitted my legs to the show No, wait to hear back no scar legs, but I'm waiting to hear back. What? I submitted my legs to the show. No. Waiting to hear back. No. What a good scar. No, but I think, yeah, like something like that.

Any lower body injury? Can't. Sports injuries in general, I can't. Sports injuries are bad. I always think back to that dude from Louisville. Kevin Ware. And then Sean Livingston. Do you remember that one?

That was gruesome. Paul George. A couple years ago, was it Christops Porzingis? Didn't he have Oh George couple years ago was it Chris stops porzingis Didn't you have one a couple years ago? Or someone on the someone on the Celtics the worst one I had I have ever seen I can't It was the tight end for the Bears Was it Zack Miller or Heath Miller? I can't remember but What I'm describing with the leg press that happens him in the end zone and I like I right now I like feels

Well, that's cuz that's how I got hurt was playing football. So like football injuries fucked me up. But like any I think I think yeah I think like you're saying like just like gym injuries or something like that, but mostly the lower body What about pimple you like pimples you like pimple stuff? I don't hate it I don't you like watching a big fucking little squirty pimples? No, no, no, no, that I don't like. But when they're just like- I don't mind them. I'll tell you this though, when they're like...

Dry, and they're not like wet and big and white, you know, like a blackhead. I don't hate that. Oh yeah. I'm not afraid to admit it. I don't go looking for them, but if they pop up, I give it a sec before I swipe away. Yeah, you know what I kinda like? I like when they're like scraping someone's nose and there's like a cheese. Eugh! And you're like, yo, this is disgusting, but like that's up I give it a sec before I swipe away Yeah, you know what I kind of like I like when they're like scraping someone's nose and like there's like a cheese Oh, and you're like yo, this is disgusting, but like that's why I like it

Full transparency you know what I can't watch as you were just saying that boogers Boogers I don't know why but like those videos you ever see those videos of like like it's like one is like the kid at Like his Christmas choir, and he sneezes, and there's just mad giant booger that I can't I can't I don't know why you're not a booger boy. I can well who is I'm not I mean I'm only I wouldn't say I'm a booger boy I can't or like people that like and then eat it I can't do that that I don't get that I've never done that in my Life you ever fucking toddler you did it. I'm sure I did I've never even for five world I've never done that you pick your nose every guy picks our nose all the time pick your nose time

at least At least five days out of the week But like people that pick it and then look at it and eat like I'm not even kidding right now I guess get looking at it. I get looking at it, but I mean I'm not eating this What are you fucking crazy also used to be really difficult for me to watch people throw up, but I'm okay now. Like I remember like, like if you know, 10 years ago if I were watching like Jackass, I would need to. Throwing up makes me laugh.

Not me throwing up, but other people throwing up makes me die. Bro, there was one, I know you can't watch it and I highly I'm not even kidding It's the grossest thing I've ever seen in my entire life it was like cut from one of the jackass movies How'd you see it because they like release it in like one five or two point five or something You know what before you get there cliffhanger we have the man. We have some ads ladies and gentlemen We have how you doing stitch fix stitch fix going to keep you looking stylish, okay? Because they're going to be like your personal stylist. You're going to go on Stitchfix, you're going to fill out your whole style quiz, you're going to tell them what kind of patterns you like, what kind of clothes you wear, what's your height, weight, what kind of fits you like from which brands and whatnot, and then they'll jump right into work those are pulling some items from some brands and they'll send them to you and you only pay for the stuff that you keep okay and you send the rest back free returns no big deal

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skit was called the omelet oh no and he ate like he took bites out of like a potato a block of cheese and onion and Drank were like three raw eggs and then threw them up into a pan and cooked it and tried to eat it Frank what the fuck you know it's the gross like that. That's what I'm saying like I couldn't see that also I don't like seeing like like bugs in skin like ticks or bot flies or something like that But flies I can't do that but flies being in someone's neck, and they're like pulling it out, bro I'm good. Yeah anything in the ear can't do it. Oh, no. I like cleaning ears I don't know why you like that so much like that one. Oh, I'm sorry You said it feels good when you do it right good never I've never felt that before in my life

Have you used one of the cameras? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are great. It's cool But like I've never been like oh, it feels so great like scratching an itch I had or something like it's it's just like whatever It's weird because it like creates the the the itch and then it scratches it at the same time Never get enough you kind of like Edging yourself a little bit. Kinda, sorta yucky. Speaking of food though, in the weirdest way possible, Ant looked up, Ant are you okay over there by the way?

I mentioned that omelet thing and you were just like, No, I'm good, I'm good. Ant pulled up this thing before that we wanted to end the show with and basically it's this idea that like you get a hundred million dollars But you can only eat one food for the rest of your life. Are you doing it? And it's a by the way, it's a random food. It's not like you could pick it Am I eating it every single meal? That's it. Yeah, so wait, it's not random every day

No, it's what you oh I do the random thing and then that's the one every day If it wasn't random if you could pick what food would you think that you could actually I mean the real answer is that nothing? But the real answer is I would get a year into this and blow my head off Okay, yeah, but like is there any food that you love so much that you believe that you can have it for the rest of Your life. I don't think that I would like My favorite food. I think like it would more be like what can I kind of make different versions of like you like pasta you'd be like pasta or sandwich or

something like that because I guess anything could be a sandwich this kids cheating I'm not saying I'm doing sandwich you just said pasta pizza between two breads. That's a sandwich. When we said we were going to bring it up, he before said burrito. So he's cheating. You're the cheater. I think that's cheating too.

I just think that's the chance you take when you select random. You could just have a carrot or you can have an omelet and omelets could be different. That's the chance you take. Carrot, bro. If it was carrot, I'm getting four days into this. I love carrots I also obviously if I get something insane like fucking I don't even know but like it's not gonna kill me yeah you only eat carrots it's a rat probably you'd be all right I don't think so greatest eyes on the planet though

yeah but you would have deficiencies and you'd die. Yeah, you would need to, the assumption is that you're also taking supplements to give yourself what you're missing out on. Can we not do supplements? Can we just like, we just have them? You'll die. No, no, no, I mean like can we just like, let's just be under the assumption the food tastes like this but it gives you everything you need.

That's fair. Okay, we can do it. You know what I mean? But it won't. Well, this isn't a matter of life or death it's so what you're gonna eat a protein packed carrot are you not understanding what I'm saying I am fully understanding what you're saying I'm asking why can't we do that it makes it easier I would absolutely no I could die you know what I'll give you this one what do you want it to be the other way if you get carrot you're dead

in ten days no Frank you can't, you're dead in 10 days. No. Frank, can you survive off of carrots for 10 days? I don't think so. You'd be so deficient. In what? Whatever a carrot doesn't have. Protein, fiber?

I don't even, it probably has fiber, but I don't know. I'm sure you'd be all right. I don't think so. What about everything you eat just tastes like the food you get? So you could still get everything. Nah, the other one, because I don't. That's even worse probably.

No. I don't think you would enjoy, ooh, I have a good one. Okay, go. But we're still gonna do this one. But imagine that every food, how much money would it take for every food that you eat for the rest of your life

just doesn't taste like that. It tastes like something else. Oh, I'm fine with that. That's a weird world to live in. I mean, it would suck. Hamburgers would taste like carrots. Hot dogs would taste like corn. But then you could have an apple that tastes like a hamburger.

Right. That would be cool. So do things just switch? Like you need to find the thing that tastes like steak? Yeah. That's kind of cool. That's kind of cool, right? That would get old quick. If I had to pick a food, like if it was my choice, it would probably be crab legs. I'd be dead in a week because I think there's a lot of cholesterol and crab legs you would eat only crab legs Colossal king crab legs

Hell yeah, they're not satiating enough. You haven't had enough of them brother. I have had enough to fucking satiate my appetite Really yeah, all right, so let's do it so and has a random food generator I think my answer to this question is no, by the way. I mean, I'm still gonna do this. I know, but you're gonna play the game because you're a fun person. Yeah. So, I'll just say this. If the answer was cheese... No, this is... we're gonna select the foods now. I'd be happy, but I would also not make it very long. Yeah. Cheese has protein. It has, like, digestive digestive enzymes right and it's got an

expiration date on you well certain cheeses can age for years no I meant like it'll kill you oh yeah that's true all right so Joe's this is Joe's first so for the sake of the game you're doing it or do I answer let's see what yours I'm doing it all right here we go would you do it would you do it it depends what mood I'm in honestly but I'll do it for I'll do it for here. Okay. This is mine Panzanella salad fuck is pans and Ella's well is that is that like escarole hold on look up? Panzanella salad I'll be honest already not happy yeah, no no I mean there's a meat in there Look yo a salad's probably not a bad

Yeah, because you can you can meet you just like a lot of I know well, that's what I'm saying about sandwich Pansanella is what is that tomatoes cucumber? Yeah, this is probably not a bad Yeah, I think we had this in this I'm in four cups cutting tomatoes of Somewhat dry cucumber basil onion. I got no no meat I mean that sounds delicious I'm this is okay yeah you'll be able to live for a long time with that the thing is too with this you can like choose to just eat like the cucumbers right and just be like oh well now I'm just having cucumbers I got a little mix of things yeah it's a sandwich before and I'm fucking called a cheater. He's eating that salad.

He's not eating any salad in the world. Yeah, but what stops him from putting something in that salad as long as it is still technically a salad? The rules stop him, Frank. What do you mean? All right. You saying a sandwich is like whatever. Oh, panzanella.

Pan means bread. So I think there's some bread in here somewhere. I got crusty bread. Oh, that sounds so good. Okay, I'm happy with that for a hundred. All right, so this is Joe's. So I think there's some bread in here somewhere. I got crusty bread. Oh, that sounds so good, okay I'm happy with that for a hundred alright, so this is Joe's Joe's food is White chicken chili this kid gets a delicious fucking meal Also chicken was going to be part of my answer

I think that's the thing that you and you have eyes really well chili you get the sauce you get The tomatoes you get the beans you get that's pretty good my fibers up my fucking The internet wants him to live forever watch what i get i can guarantee my fucking answer is gonna be dog shit It's gonna be like you get cat food Pad Thai i love that not bad i am super in love with with that bad not a good pad Thai. Oh daddy's hungry now Yeah, I think I could eat a ton of pad Thai and like you can make it spicy some days Or it could be mild some days. I like what it fucking Spicy oh yeah, yeah, you ever had Tom yum soup Tom yum Tom yum

No, dude Oh yeah? Yeah. You ever had Tom Yum soup? Tom Yum? Tom Yum. No. Dude. Unbelievable. It's like a Thai soup. Yeah. Oh, you haven't been watching White Lotus. Have you been watching White Lotus? I have not. I did see the clip of that guy saying he likes to get his, you know. Yeah, there was a clip of that. Saw that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do one more. All right, all right. Ants. Ants next one is. Yeah. 100 million dollars, by the way, eating white chicken chicken chili and pad Thai for the rest of our lives very easy

I mean, it'll be hard, but like if Greg did it or something. Yeah, this is for Greg Yeah for Greg if it's cheese chicken Delicious kill himself by the afternoon. Yeah, it's pretty unhealthy chicken pot pie. It's delicious I haven't I I can't remember the last time I had a pot pie I think back is making this for dinner tonight chicken pot pie so yeah this is getting weird how did it know that imagine the next one is just like we see you Joey all right so that's Greg so what about a med all right a med here we go well chicken tenders well it won't have to change his diet. Wow. Wow. What a perfect chicken tenders and they can only be from

Uber Eats. Yo if I got chicken chicken tenders is like I'd be pumped with that. Super pumped. But it's also a lot of fried food. Yeah. I'd air fry mine. Make it somewhat healthier. It won't be that much but yeah. Alright. That's pretty good. Alright who's next?

Mikey. Chicken. Oh my god, if this is not just a handful of spinach, he's going to... Kiwi! This is weird that it's doing that. I love kiwi, man. You a kiwi guy? You a kiwi boy? That's all right.

I don't really love kiwi. Oh, I love a good kiwi. I think it's probably the most visually appealing fruit. No way, watermelon. He got the worst one. No, kiwi's way cooler looking. What the hell yeah the inside dude you cut open this green ball and it's just candy red did you cut open a brown ball

and it's like green and like liney it's cool but like I think the surprise color of a kiwi is cooler than the surprise color of a watermelon yeah what about the surprise color of a dragon fruit you ever cut open a pink dragon those are weird yeah they're like no neon pink a dragon fruit you ever cut open a pink dragon? Those are weird. Yeah, they're like No neon pink sometimes. Dragon fruit is not good. It's it tastes like zero I don't know why people are like this is so I'm like it tastes like nothing I've never had it and been like delicious and I've had it and just said nothing. It is it is what it is All right, so who else we got Zack

Let's see what Zack's gonna eat for the rest of his life Kiwi's the worst one by the way So far right? Yeah, I wouldn't agree with that. It's actually gonna get chicken tenders. I would say I'd be pumped But I'd be dead honey do love that. That's the worst fruit actually what? No way the worst fruit is honeydew absolutely not no no dragon fruits worse than that way worse You know my honey. Hi is is worse hell yeah papaya tastes gross I also think that like pomegranate is widely over rated I disagree I love pomegranate I don't like dislike it but like I think that people it is a bit of a hassle to eat like I don't want to have a fruit that's crunchy because you got to eat basically this the seed you know the seeds in a honeydew I hate that shit yeah it's just slimy oh what was the movie where the dude was having sex with a honeydew or a

cantaloupe good luck Chuck with what's his name with Dane Cook yeah dude was having sex he'd microwave a cantaloupe and then fuck it that's true crazy doesn't sound like it wouldn't work just saying all right I mean we got to see what yours is again let's do another one for Ant. Oh, I'm going again? Why? Oh. Sausage. Sausage.

I'll take sausage. I mean, that is a pretty blanket statement. Whoa, he's gonna take sausage? Damn it. Whoa! That's a blanket statement. That could be Italian sausage, it could be bratwurst, it could be...

Bratwurst. It could be, what's the other one? The other like European sausage? Bangers? Oh, kielbasa. Kielbasa. It could be technically a hot dog, is it something? I got hot dog, deer, chicken, turkey sausage.

That's right, the meat could be anything. Remember when we had that rabbit sausage that time for your birthday dinner? Was that rabbit sausage? That was really good. Alright, one more for Joe. Frank's having fun. I am having fun. Onion rings.

I'm gonna blow my head off. He'll be dead. I hate onion rings. Good. Joe, you got white. Well, that's what you get, bitch. You had white chicken chili. Now you get a side.

That's tough. Now I get a side of onion rings. I'll say this. Onion rings, way better than french fries as a side of onion rings. I'll say this onion rings way better than french fries as a side way better Are you saying that to just like rile people up? No, I'm saying that you think that onion rings are better than french fries a million times out of a million and please I need something as no you can't you got to be in the mood for onion rings at least I'm always in the mood for onion rings brother friesries are overrated that is so crazy to say why?

that you think onion rings are better you get more flavor with an onion ring than you do a french fry and They're cool rings That's so wild. How is that wild? I? Don't know it's just to me. That's bananas. It's crazy better than every fry. I will say Personally you can season fries Yeah, but you still you can't you can also season onion rings to make them even better you get the flavor of the onion It's too much. You like blooming onions, too I haven't had one in God knows how long a blooming onion is the craziest

Role invention the fact that that's served as a meal dude is bananas dude I know someone that like went this is a true story Where they were like hungry and they like ordered two blooming onions? From out back and just like that was their meal And then they got through the first one and they were like I probably shouldn't eat the second one and they like gave it to their neighbor Or something like that. But I know that they definitely ordered two.

Now I don't know who's crazier, the person who just eats a full blooming onion or someone who's a stranger accepting it from a stranger. Hey, I was going to eat this, but I'm full off my first onion. Listen, I understand. I see the value of fries and I understand that there is a, there is a hierarchy to fries, waffle, crinkle cut, shoestring, steakhouse, you know personally though you'd rather I'm getting an onion ring over a fry any day. Let's see what Frank's side is. Last one

tart tart what is that? That looks that looks like pizza i think the site messed up the words i think that's just pizza heart taffin tart attin i think you got pepperoni pizza plug that into i don't hate that i will be dead quick tarts tattin oh it's a pastry pastry of the site just got its things what stuff oh that looks like it's like an upside down like a pear thing i think i've heard like go to the ingredients it's like a it's like looks like it's like an upside-down like pear thing. I think I've heard like go to the ingredients It's like a it's like a dessert. It's savory I think it's pear and they like cook it and caramelize it or something that looks delicious

What's his name Gordon Ramsay made this once? He's like All right fucking dog. Here's how you make the world's best charcutt and all right fucking baby. Oh, so there's apples I don't like cooked fruit though. I will say that that's not bad I hate cooked fruit Bet you really bet you wish you had another ring. I do can't have it No, you can't have a tartatin bitch. I need we don't exist it until now yeah Anyway, there you have it folks that is all for this week's episode Frank and his bull balls will be back the The bull balls might not make it back.

I will be, hopefully. Right. Where can they find you, Frank? FAlvarez885 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez on all the forms of social media, then go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Base Manyard and The Base Manyard on all forms of social media so you can come hang out with us and live the dream. You guys can follow me at JoeSanagato.

Go follow the show at The Base Many on tiktok and instagram and that is all see you guys next time yeah bye