The Basement Yard - #500 - Cheers To 500!

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

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Welcome back to the bas- BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS Welcome back to the Basement Yard, our 500th episode.

That's ten. That- It's double five. A five for me, a five for you. So five over here, five over here. That should be- Or you do- you do- Five zero zero. Or you do you do

500 so this Correct yes, okay for the audio listeners you have no idea what's going on with no no no it's our 500th episode also for the Audio listeners you can't see this But Frankie's dream has come to fruition we have two big fat Towers, I don't know if it's my dream this thing's coming out like yes Yeah, look I mean this is a I think this also speaks to the level of hydration that we both regularly keep where yours looks A lot more healthy and mine looks like I am about to die Did we run these through like a dishwasher? Oh, I mean it's beer. It's alcohol sanitize. It's beer beer towers 500 episode 500 Cheers to us I mean, it's beer. It's alcohol sanitizers. It's beer beer towers 500 episode 500

Cheers to us clink me dink me Throw it in my stink pee Man Michelob Ultra, that's what you bought. I feel like I'm on a golf course right now Frank's not drinking Michelob Ultra, but. I made myself a vodka diet. Yeah, so right.

A vodka diet. That sounds miserable. Right before we started recording, we noticed Ant was really sheepishly quiet in the corner over there. And then I just hear the ice clinking in the glass as he's walking over. And it was clear he couldn't not be involved in the celebration had to drink right had to

drink and you made yourself a vodka and diet coke yes that sucks on so many levels mmm okay you really are 21 aren't you I'm a young girl at heart no so am I though I wonder if episodes 500 episode episodes. That's bananas. That is bananas. This is uh, what? I joined in 200 area? 250 something. I thought I had a burp. Oh, don't puke? I don't think, I don't think it's that. Do you think we're gonna finish this whole tower? I, if we do, this is gonna be the messiest episode we've ever done in our entire lives oh yeah it's alright um 500 episodes doesn't feel like it right you know what's like the podcast record of episodes Joe Rogan they're at like 1,100 or something right we can go out there that's a long time

52 episodes a year yeah yeah that's how numbers work I mean technically we do double that because we do a patreon episode every week too right so if we start counting those Rogan count your fucking lucky stars bitch yeah dude in 15 years you might be in trouble yeah yeah so we got the beer towers I haven't seen one of these bad boys in... Couldn't tell you how long. It's been a while. It's been a while. Since I had...

Oh my head of high. I'm so glad that I can sing because I've been like losing my voice kinda cause I was like sick. Yeah. Like five days ago. So we filmed yesterday and I made a joke you sounded a little like RFK Jr. Right. Not because of what you were saying. Yeah. Not because of what you were saying. Let's make that very clear. Right not because of what you were saying yeah, what you were saying

Let's make that very clear. Yeah, but just because of how you sounded yeah, and yeah, I wasn't like Oreos are making your kids autistic If you feed you okay, I don't want to do the impression that's kind of fucked up. I'll do it. I'm not good I already did yeah Well, he's just like you know saying shit like Goldfish will turn your kids gay and then they'll be transgender for New Year's or something Yeah, I mean goldfish are a gateway fish to gayness. Let's be honest Are they they have rainbow ones so I imagine that like rainbow fish are fucking cool. Don't even I'm not I'm not I'm on I'm on board, baby. I'm imagining. You know it's an overrated fish the fighting fish. I'm good the hell are fighting fish What are those called beta fish beta fish? What's a fight?

Why did why are they I had them when I was younger? Oh, you mean the actual fish? What you think what I thought you mentioned the rainbow goldfish, and then what's that they have goldfish? They have a bag of rainbow flavored gold left flavored, but rainbow color. I'm talking about animals. You're talking about snacks Well, I started with goldfish. I thought you were talking about the rainbow fish the book with the with the scale that's holographic. Oh Bye, I know who you're talking I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, I was talking snacks, baby. Oh Full snacks goldfish are fine pizza flavored good. Yeah, what? Let me guess you're also a freak that likes combos?

Like a real inc- I don't hate combos. Like a real incel? You think that, first of all, you are not going to pass combos over to the incel community? They have, incels have Mountain Dew, Monster Energy, combos. We're really fighting to keep Beef Jerky on our side, the non-insel side of one of us is fighting for that apparently I love beef jerky. You don't like beef jerky. It's good, but I don't need it Crazy, you're just gonna give that to the incels willy-nilly

You're about to give combos combos. They take it. They've taken it. No. I don't like combos. They're kind of gross No, I like them. I like them. What would you prefer combos or those ritz? Sandwiches that had the cheese in the middle god you're making me. I'm picking a favorite child here Which you don't have one because you don't have any children that we know of We get it. I'll say I'll say The Ritz. Yeah, that's the crackers. That's the that dusty cheese is good, dude I like that dusty cheese when I put my mouth on that cheese and it evaporates

Into what can only be described as you know me I do you know that I like to like you love to suck things I don't suck these you you what yeah, yeah, I knew it I knew it this freak Joey likes it for those of you guys that are audio listeners. He takes his tongue He makes it sharp those you guys. I't know, Joey's got a sharp tongue that has quite the butt crack on it. Does it? Yeah, you've got a butt crack right down the middle of your tongue. Look at that shit! Look at it! No, don't look at my ass tongue. My butt tongue. But, and then he just like, for some reason, just like, uses your strong tongue to just punch the shit out of this fucking cracker

Well, no, that's not what I was gonna say. I do do that sometimes especially with Oreos scrape I can scrape an Oreo clean dude. Yeah, I can do that But the the little crackers the Ritz crackers and cheese I'll like put the whole thing in my mouth and then kind of open it eat the one side of the cracker bullshit You know, I get what you're're saying you know what I like to do you haven't you I haven't even gotten to the meat and potatoes of what I'm saying here go ahead I'm sorry you're right I get it down yeah now I just have cracker and then cheese and then I take the cheese and I try to get it off of

the cracker and then I take the cheese and I rub it on the top of my mouth with my tongue and then it just like gets all dusty on the top of my mouth, and then I eat it Anybody else do that There's dead you can hear a pit drop in here I don't think you realize how borderline insane it sounds like To do that yeah, you just chew them up and eat them Yeah Yeah, yeah, you don't take my I might you don't take the cheese in like

No, I do that. I sometimes I'll like separate You know like I separate the cracker in my mouth where I'm like you go over there cracker you and the cheese go over there segregation, you know stop that Men over here women and children first Yeah, you know and then I eat it like that. But the only thing that I think I have a weird separation thing with when I eat is peanut M&Ms. Peanut M&Ms. I like cracking those bitches open.

I crack the shell, I remove the whole shell, I remove the whole chocolate, and then I got just the peanut in my mouth, and I like to find the seam, and I like to split that shit. And then that little, you know, that little like bean bean on the top of the yes the peanut I love to take that it is sharp and I go and I get it all out of there And then I crack that bitch right down the middle. Yes. Yes. Yes. I I love that I love that also Robin's eggs the shells on those I love cracking that shit in my mouth Unbelievable Robin's eggs are a tier, top tier candy. Which is why I stand by, Easter might have the best seasonal candy of any holiday.

It's very, very, very possible. It's very probable and possible. But in true Basement Yard fashion, we completely got away from what we were doing. 500 episodes. 500. I think we celebrated 300. First of all, she's, you hear her? She's screaming at you? She's yelling at me, look.

Careful. She's yelling at me. You almost took that shit onto your fucking brand new computer, which by the way, Joey has used this thing more than any computer's been used in history. It's true. To justify buying it. It's so true. But in true baseball fashion, we got off the topic. Yeah. 500 episodes. Uh huh-huh is this cuz you started the the show is this where you imagine the show would be I'm sitting here with Barbara Walters. Thank you for that question um oh I thought you were just gonna slam wham-bam maybe the next one

Oh, I thought you were just gonna slam, wham, bam. Maybe the next one? What? I like what you got going on here. I'm a big fan of cream and green. The cream and green is good. I don't know what it is lately, but like I'm greened out, baby. Bro, me too.

Ant was just talking shit. He's like, everything you do is green. Green phone? Bro, I got a green phone too! Green face? Ooh! Green pants? How's your undies?

Whoa, oh, you're green. How are my undies today? How are you? Are you wearing tighty-whities like before? No. Oh, you green face. Oh green pants. How's your undies? Whoa? Oh you're green And these today. How are you wearing tighty-whities like before no? Oh you would hate these why they're and they're not cream They're not green or are they multicolored no cream on these boxers by the way gotta say that in a better way There's no cream in these boxers Frank showed up to the the shoot yesterday The socks that this man had on. You know, enough! A very, very bright orange.

Enough! I was like, well they were orange and blue, right? They were orange and blue or green, I can't remember. I have several pairs. Of those specific? Enough! They're socks! Enough! Enough with all the socks, Lander! Socks are meant to be fun and playful. They're the only article of clothing you can be really super playful with for only yourself.

Shirts, everyone else sees it. Everyone else sees it. So like you wear a playful shirt, people are just gonna be like, oh my god, enough. Boxers and boxers, underwear for those that wear underwear. And socks. For those who wear underwear? like I mean like tight underwear because like women wear like strings

not boxers yeah you know I'm just you know they have underwear if you were to wear women's underwear what kind do you think you would wear? would you thong? listen or would you wear panties? listen up real quick

ladies, let me speak on your behalf okay? I'm gonna protect you here. Thongs, they're sick, but if I was a woman, I wouldn't be wearing them. Unless it was like sexy time here, we'd go bing bang boom. Okay. So if you were a woman, you wouldn't wear thongs? I would wear them like if I'm trying to like, if I know I'm getting myself into some shenanigans later. Okay. But like, if it's- if I'm going straight comfort baby, these panties is gonna be grannies.

You're going granny panties? I'm going underwears, babe. What about, uh, what's it called, booty shorts or something? I don't know. Like Spanx? But those are like on an un- Not top of thing, aren't they? Spanx. Spanx are like they're like shapewear I think yeah, I'm talking about like a They're like shorts kind of I'm gonna bottom of your butt sure now

I just the idea of wearing a thong and always having this thread in your asshole You probably don't feel it though. I mean yeah, they've probably probably at, you know, through their life warm enough, but like, you're gonna tell me that's made for comfort? Apparently, everyone's wearing them. It's all the rage these days. It's all the rage? Those kids are wearing the thongs! The kids love the thongs!

No, I would. Ew, that was disgusting. Yeah, disgusting. Here we go! Make sure you edit that. It yells at you, right? Look at your hands. Look at your hands. Hang that up.

Also, I had a very interesting... I went back to the vet for my dog. Oh my god, just let this dog die already. Jesus christmas. He's alive and well This dog is just trying to die on you, and you just won't let it happen dude. What was the last time you went to the vet? Oh No couple beers

You are a heartless pig that's what you are can't call smash man a pig I guess you can actually I guess you can nowadays. I don't even know nowadays Where's the connection here we go? Geez would you fill that with vodka in there the fuck's going on over here here we are You have a stash damn right. I do yep There is welcome Back to the basement yard perfect I went back to the vet and it's because I saw that my dog was like licking his penis a lot Does that mean like it's because I saw that my dog was like licking his penis a lot.

Does that mean like, I could, I, serious questions here. Yep. I remember you talked about the hot spots that dogs get because they lick them so in your head were you like my dog's penis is a real hot spot right now? Technically yeah. Okay. Technically I had to refer to my dog's penis as a hot spot. Also, I had to get in there and check it out. You jerked off your dog?

That's not how you check it out. So, he was licking his dog- Hey, Giggles! Sorry. What the fuck? When we got back from Europe, I picked up my dog and my mom was like hey He's been licking his penis a lot and I was like maybe he's just like in that kind of mood I don't know I would like you know me or huh There's several you would you we would

Frank what if you could I don't know Frank. What are you even saying? Anyway, I pick up the dog I heard he left like this even saying anyway I pick up the dog I pick up the dog and she's like he's looking his penis a lot of my okay so then I notice him doing it and then I'm in my apartment so I go over I'm expect I'm inspecting this dog's penis yeah right and he's looking at me like Are you gonna walk me through how? Well looking at it. I don't what do you want me? What do you want me to do? I didn't well dogs dogs have retractable dicks. It's not on the on his actual like oh red rocket penis It's like the sheath the sheath incredible. I was ready to attack you, but I love that go ahead

So I just saw something there. I was ready to attack you but I love that go ahead so I just saw something there I was like oh, yeah, it looks a little red gonna take him to the vet So I take him to the vet wait his penis looks a little red There's like a thing that looks like a cut so I'm like oh, it's probably a hotspot You know cuz I could think it cut they start licking it and then they could spread back whatever so it looked a little infected I go to the I go to the Ants look at me like I was the one licking it like he was looking his own. I mean, I mean nothing I wasn't okay. I get to the doctor and He's like, oh, what you know what's going on?

It's like I think there's a hot spot on my dog's penis He's like, okay, we'll kind of check it out or you know whatever and he's a super nice guy and then technically it was your dog's foreskin it wasn't i don't know what i don't know what to call it to be honest with you it's like the the protective barrier yeah so it's like the wall what is the point of what this interjection that you just had what are you trying to establish that you don't already know? I'm gonna hear myself talk. I know She's whistling So I go in there, and I'm like oh, there's something wrong with my dog's penis or whatever and then he's like okay cool

We'll check it out and Then he tells me he's like by the way, I just want you know I don't want to cuz I was in the lobby and I don't want to tell you I'm a huge fan of you I'm huge fan of yours and you know, whatever. I love the podcast. I was like, oh, thank you, man I appreciate it. This is the same guy that give you discount last time No, so I went to a different one and he actually made a comment He was like, oh, you know, we were jealous that you went to the other one and I was like, oh I don't even know how they fuck they knew that I think cuz maybe the records yeah the records so he says that and I'm

like okay cool and he leaves the room for a second to go get the doctor I look down my fly could not be more gaped it's's so open. And I'm like, it's so embarrassing now. You know what's so funny is you've openly told me that's something that you always check for. Because I, yeah, because I'm like always, before we go on stage, I'm like checking to see if that is open. But it was so, dude, I'm not kidding, so cavernous. It was so open. Just like, what kind of pants were you wearing? Jeans? I was wearing pants like, kind of like these, like a... Whatever. But like, I think the way that I was sitting, it just didn't help. And it was so opened, and I'm like, this guy's getting a look at my penis and the dog's penis.

So he's seeing one of them is a real hot spot, and the other one is just... Just a spot. Playfully infected. Just a spot, just a dot. Yeah, and I was like a spot, just a dot. Yeah, and I was like, oh, OK, thanks. But that was like no discount. But you know, they did a good job.

He should have gave you the I'm a fan of you plus the dick discount. That would have been sick. I was totally OK with that. I mean, it wasn't a huge bill. The other one was a pretty big bill. So getting clipped in the balls. Well, yeah, last time you had to get him milked or whatever

the hell you said. You don't even listen when I talk. Cause nobody is gonna milk my dog, Frank. Didn't you say they milk his anal glands or something? They express them. Oh. But it's a form of milking. Yes. Yes it is, I guess.

So it's just not the type of milking your dog would prefer or you would prefer probably I would not want my anal gland expressed Because I don't even think that's something we could do. I don't think we have that. I don't think we got that shit I'm fine with that. I'm cool with not having that that's funny that you brought that up though Cuz I went to the DMV to get that fucking real ID thing I Don't want to do that oh yeah you probably have to is it was it a did it take long I had to literally like like I was getting fucking Zane Malik tickets like go on at like 8 a.m. one morning and

get an appointment and it was like the only appointment that was left uh-huh and first of all naturally go there they lost power the DMV yeah they lost power so they allowed they were they lost power and they were waiting for the what's it called to come back up the internet so I got there and they're like you're here for real ID I'm like yeah and they're like ah bad news I'm like what and they told me so they're like listen you can take this sheet and come back anytime you want in the next two weeks and we'll take you right in. Or you can wait and then try your luck to see, because Verizon was just here, see if it'll come back on. And then if not, you can come back and we'll give you that sheet again.

And I'm like, all right, you know what? I was like, I might as well wait a little bit, just to fucking test my luck. And I sat there, I sat down, and I'm like, all right, I'm giving myself 45 minutes. I was like, if I don't even hear that the internet is back, like if they don't take someone in front of me in that time, I'm just gonna leave and come back another day. So I'm sitting there, sitting there waiting, whatever. When's the last time you physically went to the DMV?

When I got my permit. Dude, I don't know what it is. It's all old people. It's not- What did they do in there? I don't know, but it was all- Oh, maybe it expired. Well, so one guy was there and it was just like,

he needed to get this changed and blah, blah, blah, blah, but like, it was all, it was, I was the youngest person in there by 25 years Like do old people just like the DMV. I don't maybe she's like a hotspot for them a hotspot Well, this is a hotspot episode it is um Possibly because that's the only place people talk to them because they're you may be like old decrepit losers You've got so much karma you coming your way it's insane but so I'm there I'm waiting I'm like alright I see you I'm watching you know looking at

the time and it gets to 45 minutes but I notice Verizon is like coming in and out of the building mmm so I look over like the server room and they're in there and I'm like alright you know what they're hacking the mainframe right now yeah hacking they'll have it up I'm in yeah you know I'm thinking, all right, you know what? They're hacking the mainframe right now. Yeah, hacking the mainframe. They'll have it up. I'm in. Yeah. You know, I'm thinking like, might as well just give it another few minutes,

unless there's a sign that I should get out of here. Like from the Lord of both? I don't know. I don't, you know how I feel. I'm pretty like in the middle agnostic. So like, I'll be like, send me a sign. Exactly, I'm superstitious. That's I think the best thing.

And then I'm like, unless there's a sign exactly. I'm superstitious. That's I think the best thing and then I'm like unless there's a sign At this volume there's an old man directly in front of me Scrolling through like Facebook Not Instagram is reals tick tock. I don't know what the tick tocks are called I guess tick tocks, but like what's the Facebook one called? I have no idea. The short little video formats. I think we get what you're saying. Stories or whatever?

Whatever it is. He's scrolling through them. And it's like, you know, like, oh, five signs to see if your, you know, house foundation is messed up. And then one is just like, if you're using these roofing nails, stop right now. You know? And then he gets on one and it's a clear AI voice

Like Mike they told me you know you know that how it sounds how it's kind of tell me This is like oh my big fat tits or something. It was it would say bro the guy I Couldn't I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe what I was listening to, so I put my phone down to listen more and looked around me and other people were just like... It starts playing on his phone and it's like... I gave my stepson these pills to help him with his cock growth. I couldn't believe the results, so I had a test it out for myself what yo I

couldn't he's watching boring watching porn in the DMV out loud like louder than you would like first of all I know this is a pet peeve yours but people in public scrolling on their phone you're either at no volume or you either have headphones on or you're at one yes two is jailed if anyone else can hear you crazy yeah

but it's on full volume honestly to the point I might have thought to myself like does he have a speaker in his pocket or something because it was loud and it was like my my son's dick yes and I've got to try it out yes what yes and I thought got to try it out. Yes What yes, and and I thought anyone's say hey, bro. I thought for a second might have been like I

Gave this old man watching porn in public the benefit of the doubt. Did you see his phone? No? So I like I thought for a sec like many of the doubt. What is it? The benefit of the doubt of thinking like I gave them the pills so then I took the pills to try it on myself But that's the benefit But then I listened and it was a female voice and Then she started getting more sexual It was just like I unzipped his pants and couldn't believe it. This guy's listening to a smut book.

Bro, I couldn't- I was sitting there flabbergasted at this fucking guy. And not only watching porn in public, but like, blasting it. Not only blasting and watching porn in public, but it was like, my stepson? Which is fucking disgusting. I said, I literally put my phone in my pocket, I put my papers by my side, that was my sign, I got the fuck up and left. Oh, so you didn't get it? I just got up and left. So that was your sign?

That was my sign. Damn dude, you should have been like, this will be good for the podcast, and walked over and be like, Hey Rusty What are you watching? The fuck is this you wanted me to like inquire and just be like let's sit down and analyze this together I mean, I don't have that in me I could never do that to a stranger and walk up and be like are you blasting audio porn right now? What's going on sir? I like I looked over there was a

Woman like four seats to my right and she was just like You know that look you know what I mean? It's like is he watching step mom shoot he I couldn't like at what level of not giving a fuck Do you allow something like that to happen bro? You know it's crazy like obviously that's ridiculous there's Those videos that exist and you said that one was like AI or something It sounded like it like the cadence was very AI like you know what I mean probably was and he was like oh I can only imagine what he was watching. Oh god. I've been getting these like

Tik Tok shop fucking ads or something, bro, but they're so weird it's like a girl in the middle of telling a story about oh My boyfriend has never clapped my cheeks As hard as he has this past weekend, and then she's selling some product like ashwagandha pills or something It's like yo my boyfriend like was clapping the thunder clapping the shit out of my cheeks and I'm like this is what advertising is now? This is what sells apparently.

So someone a dude is watching that being like oh if he thunderclap her shit then I'm gonna thunderclap some cat I can take. See this is the way if you're gonna sell fake cock pills the way to do it is at a bodega on a rack right next to like you know a Hundred grand bar, and it says something like rhino fuck or like jackhammered cock time Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. They never tell you what I went to I when I lived in a story

I went to the deli and I got a sandwich and I'm I'm paying for it and the dude goes He starts pointing to like cuz there's like it's right next to the yeah I know it's all really as you're paying it's right here Yeah, and literally it's like giraffe tits or so you know what I'm saying? Yes hard giraffe dick or whatever It's called and it's like something like that, and he's like, yo, you want, you need this? And I was like, no, I'm good. He's like, no, bro, I see.

He's like, you need it. And I'm like, what's going on? I'm trying to buy a sandwich from you. I'm trying to like help out. What about you gave off lip dick energy? Yeah. I was like, yo, why do you think that I need some, you know, turbo hyena dick or whatever the fuck?

Like what vibes am I giving off that you think I need that? I can't imagine now listen I understand You know there are people that suffer from erectile dysfunction And you take whatever supplements and pills you need to work with like take something like last like that's what I'm saying That was crazy. That was not that's what I'm saying like go go get a blue chew if you feel so inclined That's what I'm saying. Like, go get a blue chew if you feel so inclined. See Alice. Something from a doctor. Uh, what's the Viagra? Bro, if you're getting your cock pills from the same place that you buy loose cigarettes,

you're fucking up in life. Yeah, come on, bro. Maybe you did some irreversible damage to that fucking yang. I imagine, though. Like, there's gotta be. saw one on when I was like scrolling I I follow this account that like tweets crazy things that like I screenshot and we use for the episodes And one of them was just like the new viral sex chocolate, and it's like What is going on dude like chocolate to make me horny? I mean apparently chocolates and aphrodisiac in and of itself Nothing has ever, I've eaten anything and been like, it's go time Really? It's never happened to me

Yeah they say that about like strawberries, chocolate, oysters Never I will say this I've eaten quite a ton of oysters Never I can't imagine that the oysters are what made me horned up Right It's usually just women

Yeah That's usually what does it- That's usually what does it what did the trick was women not not not the Hershey bar I ate on the way over okay like maybe that's what our next business venture needs to be maybe if you guys make another hot sauce, Secret Handshake Food Co. Did I say that right? Secret Handshake Food Co? Yeah. It felt wrong when you said it. But it was right.

You have the Everything Bagel hot sauce, you have the Bloody Mary hot sauce. What if your next hot sauce is an aphrodac hot sauce that like is like laced with like hints of chocolate strawberry as other foods that are Horny foods, so it's a horny hot sauce It's good name horny hot sauce horny hot sauce. I'm giving you that for free by the way We're not gonna market a horny hot sauce everyone else is doing it. I don't get in there thunderclaps Tied down and bang bang theang. I know. You might as well. I know

it is kind of crazy that those are like a thing and and again we're not saying there's an issue with people who have ED. I get it. Correct. People have erectile dysfunction that's totally fine but if you're going to buy your pills Right next to where you would buy a lighter a lighter with fucking Like a lighter with like a skeleton like this on I'm just saying maybe you've made mistakes if you get breakfast sandwiches from the same place you buy your your dick pills You need to reevaluate that yeah, fuck that motherfucker that was pawning off the pill yeah that's crazy that I needed them I mean they always had horny goat

weed was the one they had by us horny goat weed which there's a hyena one that I saw though and I was hyena Humpher I don't know what it's called I don't know either but I imagine I mean they're all animal base and they're all like goats are the one that they put in there though. It's also about like going fast and then an animal. So it would be like nitrous oxide hyena dick fucker. We'll workshop the name. We're coming up with stuff. But we do have some ads.

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So it helps us out directly so go to patreon.com slash the basement yard on the web browser sign up there And it'll continue to support us. Thank you guys. We'll see you next time. Oh, we're not going anywhere Oh, you're I don't hear screaming there she goes Bro, I've done a number on this I'm at just below two holy shit. This is 1.5 liters. Yeah, I'm not finishing this you got it You got that's banana pants Frankie was beating Joe, but now Joe took the lead You got it you got it banana pants Frankie was beating Joe, but now Joe took the lead Why are they yelling there's so much yelling going on a little there's little oh my god um so stinky winky

Whose winky is stinky? Oh Not my dogs your dogs is fucking hot no I fixed it That's crazy. He just had my dog hot spot, baby baby No, I know you meant hot spot. I know you said um I have a question Ask me Did you see this video of this snake in Thailand? This is a very wiener episode today. Do I see a snake in Thailand? Well you never been in Thailand no today. Did I see a snake in Thailand? Well you've never been in Thailand. No. Would you? Hell yeah. Yeah? Oh you haven't watched White Lotus. No I haven't but they have elephant sanctuaries out there and I would love to pet an elephant. Would you

like an elephant if it were like would you like to like pet it would ride it I would but I feel like not if they're mean to the elephants hmmm you know what I mean? well like they need to be a little mean to horses who? when you're riding a horse

when's the last time you rode a horse? I've never ridden a horse what? you should ride a horse man I've rode a horse with you and pre-k Yeah, those are we went over donkeys we are so we rode horses Becca and I for our anniversary and Becca bleeding heart Love her, but she was like a the woman was just like all right Give him a little kick in order to like move faster Oh, you got to kick him and Becca was just like I don't want to and she's like they have very thick like Actual thick skin bro also a I could never hurt a horse even if I wanted to I feel you can hit a horse with a

Baseball bat they'd be like hello. I mean yeah, maybe I don't know they look strong as fuck they thought that I would do that That's psychotic, but bro You don't understand the power of a horse until you're on one I don't know why that was Until you were riding this thing Horsepower Oh I felt horsepower buddy You ever get into Mustang?

Yeah I felt it I got a Ford F-150 packed in the backyard But y'all did you see this snake in Thailand? No It might make you want to rethink it Ant pull this shit up So apparently there have been some floods over there We hope everyone's okay and

What the fuck is that? So this video came out and it's a python This isn't it may be fake, but who cares we're not the way is it did it eat? It was it did it eat dude that looks like it ate a fat man That's what they I mean. I think there's no way that's real pro why refuse dude there's you ever heard the story of the Amazon that there was like it was like the late 1800s or something yeah what I can't I'm not I'm not ready to speak words yet because of how what. The fuck. That's a big bitch. If there are things in the world that exist like that, we don't have a big enough military then. We definitely don't.

Can you imagine? I mean we do spend a lot of money. You know it's crazy. We have a big military. We have a big military. Yeah, but I don't trust them. I trust the military I Don't trust the people who control the military is what I wanted to say Episode this is because I keep drinking Dude what would you do if you came in and that was just like hanging from here a giant?

There's nothing you could do you would be spider you'd be dead giant There's nothing you could do you would be spider you'd be dead Well, how much should I drink already? Yeah, no, I'm not excited about that at all. I mean if I saw a snake I'm not like afraid of snakes, but anything that big I'm afraid of anything that big you're afraid of elephants See I'm when it comes to animals like that. I'm in the same way. I'm like We're dumb in different ways who's we mean you oh, we're done in different ways No, no, so like you think you could like beat animals up. I I think well actually no

This is similar because with you and gorillas where you're like, oh, I'll kind of like whatever I think well actually no this is similar because with you and gorillas where you're like oh, I'll kind of like whatever I think that I Have something in me yep That when animals see me they know that like I'm their bowl You're not a threat and not that I'm not even a threat that I'm just like that I get them like they see me and they're like oh like a doctor do I'm dead ass. I think this Yeah, I know no no no this is like they feel their vibes, and they're like this guy is not a threat So I'm just gonna do my animal thing over here when I am walking on the street

And I see a dog and we make eye contact. I really think that they see me and they in their mind They're like oh, yeah, no, that's a good. That's good Like I don't like I think that they understand like a dog barking or whatever I would I feel like I would walk up to it, and it would stop barking I'm an idiot. You're like Cesar Millan basically is what you're saying. What I am is fucking stupid. Yeah, we know that. That's the thing Yeah, yeah, but I but I feel like that so But I would say giant snakes. I don't feel that way with I don't think elephants an angry elephant who's doing the thing I don't feel that way with I don't think elephants an angry elephant who's doing the thing

if I walked up to them, and I just felt like I could like Comet if I just look if it's if it you know I you gotta get the side of them But you'd put your look at his eye here you do that well I was looking to his eye, and I'd be like it's okay big fella And it would chill gotcha, and I don't know if that's real, but I feel that in my heart big fella I don't know if that's real, but I feel that in my heart big fella I don't know if I would use that language. Yeah, well what if you angered it even more because it was like Did you just assume my gender? I'm a big elephant. That's true crazy And you could tell elephants genders pretty easily you just go around the back big swinging dicks the dicks are big the vaginas are big

Really, they're just big animals. You know that I've seen an elephant vagina in my day, but I mean neither have I but they're big animals I imagine that they got they gotta have it. They gotta have it. You know they gotta they gotta have a walk-in closet back there Yeah, yeah exactly um I watched a video of a rhino taking a dump the other day All right I'll tell you this They produce a lot of dump a lot. Yeah, good a lot. Yeah, dude. Have you ever seen the one of? the elephant the hippo dumping and It's just like its tail is like acting like a fan. Yeah, it's like slapping it around. Yeah, that is dumb

Yeah, dumb design also like you know hippos don't even need tails. Yeah, I agree They have really dumb stupid tail. You're so big you have this very thin and it's like it has like a little thing at the end It's just like four. It's like a little Homer Simpson hairs at the end of the tail I don't like that shit, although have you seen an elephant tail up close? Dude, I can't I can't oh no. they're big it looks like a mace those hairs look like if they hit you they'll pierce you they're sharp hair dude I mean they just thick hairs and do me a favor look up as he's doing that we're gonna talk look up elephant tail up close okay a lot of animals have tails that don't need a

bears why the fuck do bears have tail I'd like a tail though. I would not hate one. I would like a tail just to like... Just to wag it? Yeah. Just to have it? Eww. Or like if it was big enough that I could like pick stuff up. Go to that first picture, babe.

This? Yeah. Like I wish I had a- Whaaaaat? Yeah, dude. That's an elephant's tail? Hell yeah. Look, there's one of it crapping right below it. Yeah, don't don't click on that

That's an elephant's tail. That's so weird. Look at how thick that hair is that's like brush brush That's like yeah, it looks like you clean your grill with it That does look like that that does I have another question since we're just asking questions today. Let's come fly Why why is everyone so mad at Katy Perry oh? Yeah, they did the blue origin that blue origin space thing before we get into Katy Perry Do you think that's real or is it fake? I? Don't know I think a lot of people now are saying that it's fake like they're suggesting that it's fake I I haven't looked in enough to be able to

plant my flag in either side of the argument. But. Would you do it? No. The fattest no that I could ever imagine. That's a scary one, dude. No, I hate getting in a plane. That's true, yeah.

You think I would be like, let's go to space where there's nothing You're you're in are you in space or are you like? That's a good question. I think technically you you leave if I can see that's the thing first of all I'm with you No, no no no no not doing it, but like the idea that I could be Above the earth looking at it and then also look into space for a second Is so crazy. I can't yeah, I can't even imagine I I'm I almost feel like It can't be real because

if that was me and I went into space and I saw the earth in front of me and then I saw space behind me and I landed back on earth I would be like different person because it would just like I'm not even kidding I think I would just look at life differently because when you see like how big it is not even not even how big it is but like when you see like every person you've ever met every interaction everything is just right there and then nothing I'd be like nothing matters to anything and I've ever ever nothing no how do you get down and you hold up a flower and you promote your album like I'd be like bro I'm not me anymore yo I would not I wouldn't be do you get down and you hold up a flower and you promote your album like I'd be like bro I'm not me anymore. Yeah, I would not I wouldn't be able to get down and talk with people about anything other than like Nothing is real Nothing is real dude if I go and I see this thing and I you you'd be doing the Jim Carrey thing you ever see His interviews. He's like I'm not me. I'm a fictional character of a- You know, I could- I would lose my mind because the idea of seeing

The earth the earth in like such a way that makes it feel so insignificant Bro, it's not like I couldn't handle that like yeah, and then looking and seeing the Sun the Sun the Sun the sun the sun you think you could just look at the Sun and be fucking like okay dude can we see the Sun we see it from here babe that's not what I mean I mean like if you're in space if you look at

the Sun what does it look like the Sun but like so you can't look at the Sun though is my point but it's so far away that you can look at it and just go like yeah that's the Sun isn't that wild that the Sun is like the Sun dude son the Sun is just the Sun the Sun is it's crazy. It's big Big bro also the Sun Is really the father really if it decides yeah, I'm not going to work today. We're all dead what also Who named it the sun?

Like, why didn't they call it something way cooler? S-U-N? Call it a cooler thing. What, bitch? Uh, how many Earths do you think can fit inside the sun? Millions. I would say 150 million Earths. Yeah, it's a lot. I would say... Honestly, Joey, I'm gonna... You know what? I would say a hundred and fifty million Earth's yeah, it's a lot. I would say Honestly Joey I'm gonna you know what co-sign 500 episodes 150 mil 150 million Earth's

1.3 million Earth's but still We kind of we kind of I'm excited that we were I mean 1.3 million is still a lot of million. That's a big burning Star it's a star. It's just gas dude. Yes. I don't think there's a surface to it. I think it's just like yes How is it burning still it's been so long ask someone might realize you're like yeah, actually you know what click turn this shit off It would take eight minutes wait Wait How is the Sun in? You're like, yeah, actually, you know what? Click, turn this shit off. It would take eight minutes. Wait. Wait. Here we go. How is the sun in space burning so hot that it warms the earth, but as we know it,

fire needs oxygen. Without oxygen, there can't be fire. But in space, there's no oxygen fire maybe it's not a there's no oxygen maybe it's not actual oxygen maybe it's a maybe it's it's burning the hydrogen or something I don't know but like how is that happening that the Sun is like hydrogen is important it's fire we know it's fire but is it real like is it fire like we know it this isn't like a fucking like when you go a fire in lighter that has like a weed Sock on it. Yeah, you know like this is like space fire, so I think it's like different fire

Okay, so it's not like fire. It's just like burning gas That doesn't need oxygen maybe I don't know like that's so interesting And it's just there like it's just like a constant It's got so much of itself that it's just like we're just good forever hopefully Eight minutes is all we have babe. Yeah. Yeah, I saw one video and it was just like here's what would happen if the earth If the Sun just burnt out tomorrow and it's like I'm not you don't want to know

burnt out tomorrow and it's like I'm not you don't want to know that well it would take not long it would basically be like a couple months more dead yeah probably cuz it's like the first week like you'd go into like a winter oh and then it like things will just like the ocean will freeze like everything we go ice skating that would be good no I'm not ice skating on the ocean will freeze like everything that'd be cool if we go ice skating that would be co- no I'm not ice skating on the ocean get the hell out of here haha I would I wouldn't like that

ice skating on the ocean dude what if it cracks and you fall through it won't what if it does dead? yeah I'll be dead in a week anyway no I mean we'd probably survive off of like

I would say three I would, I mean we'd probably survive off of like, I would say three, I would say eight months we'd survive. With no Sun. Yeah. I don't know about that chief. No? Just in complete darkness? I mean think of science. Science has now allowed us to figure out heat, figure out light. Think about science. Think about that. I'm thinking about science now. No? We, I mean most of the food in America is chemically grown anyways. You could survive on beans. You could survive- I mean I think beans need to grow. Beans are plants.

Canned beans I mean. What do you think those are? Beans? Yeah, but we have a bunch of cans. Yeah, but then we won't. Right. Then we won't have them. That's a good point.

You know? And then- and then what? And then what do we eat? All the fucking- it would become a all the fucking it would become a desert the earth would become a desert basically a Tundra tundra desert this is a who do you think's eating somebody first? Maybe we shouldn't talk about the end of the earth apocalypse because I don't I don't you know I don't want to go there I'm having a good day. Okay, so back to my original question though Why is everyone so upset with Katy Perry? Like Wendy's like tweeted at her like Kesha's got beef with her

Kesha's got beef with Katy Perry she cuz Kesha went to the went to Wendy's and was like ha ha ha and she posted a picture Wait what yeah, there's why is Wendy's always like for you know we're the beef boys, and we're all over beef I just I saw people are like We're the beef boys, and we're all over beef. I just I saw people are like Upset a Katy Perry, and this is not me saying like I don't get it What did she I'm saying like I just don't know I don't know either like I mean I don't know about the beef between Kesha and Katy Perry either, but apparently there is one It's got to do with that guy that did all Kesha's music What wasn't there a guy that like was in charge of all the Kesha's music or something like that?

I'm not familiar. of all of Kesha's music or something like that? I'm not familiar. I know that Kesha... Something happened to Kesha. Something not cool. I don't know if that has something to do with this. I have no idea. I honestly don't know. All I know is that people are like,

ooh, Kesha's shading fucking Katy Perry. Yeah, cause Katy... They posted like a picture and it's like, Katy Perry's made it back from space. And then, Wendy's, the official account for the fast-food chain Wendy's tweeted like can we send her back yeah that's wild that's a wild like I just don't and then like there have been a ton of people that have been saying like fuck Katy Perry

like let her say and I think people's issue with the Blue Origin space thing is that like it undermines like the work that is being done by like Space engineers and stuff like that doesn't like that's what I've seen people posting like I've seen people just salty like we're rich We can go to the moon. Bah bah bah bah bah. Oh, yeah that you know it's it's like tone deaf I Heard that Katy Perry was like I recommend this to everyone and it's like we can't do that what you talking about that we can go do that it was like her Gail King and yeah other people oh I saw the video then like walking on and Gail

did not look happy I mean I wouldn't be happy going into space me either I'd be shaking I mean did she did they sign up it? Did they have to like buy into it? I don't know. How did they choose Katy Perry? No offense to Katy Perry. Katy Perry is, I mean, a big person. I mean, she is no longer what she was 10 years ago. Like Katy Perry 10 years ago was like A-lister,

ton of music coming out. She's absolutely an A-lister still. Like she's still like an A-lisp pop fuckin' fucking like Borderline yeah, dude. She's a giant follow. What does she say she releasing new music? I don't know I'm not the demo so I don't really know I mean you you you have your ear to the ground more than I do with this Stuff yeah, you know I just don't like people are like upset and do you know why people are so upset at Katy Perry? I think it's just what he said just rich people going to the moon Like tone-deaf shit. But like before that people were upset with her for something. I here's what I'll say. I Don't know if there's a reason to hate Katy Perry. That'd be fun. I love hating people

right, but I Think if there isn't a legitimate reason to hate Katy Perry right and she got back from space and Wendy's was just like send that bitch back That's fucking hilarious. It is it is what if I'm Katy Perry, bro? Well, I'm Katy Perry. I'm going on Twitter and be like suck my dick, bro I'm beefing with Wendy's if there's nothing if there's nothing is what I'm saying. If Wendy's just like Just jumped off the porch like yo fuck Katy Perry. Bro this is not the first time Yeah, if like Katy Perry is under fire, and this is us just saying we legitimately don't know. I'm trying to picture it. If she's under fire for something like

heinous and ugly like yeah, fuck her absolutely, but we don't know. We don't know but like why from Wendy's I'm trying to I'm trying to put myself in Katy Perry shoes If I went to space and came back and was like such a crazy moment for me And then Wendy's was like yo send his ass back. I'd be like suck my dick Wendy's This isn't the first time that Wendy's has like Just tried roasting people on social media like damn Wendy's it's not it doesn't make sense and can you look up other times Wendy's done this but like out of all places like it just Wendy's like it would make sense

it is funny though to be like a fast food restaurant bro if I was getting if I was beefing with a fast food restaurant on fucking social media actually that would be kind of sick that's how i got my start oh with taco bell you know i've seen people like reenact our interaction trophy nuts but oh like trying to take it to be your their own

like yeah like being like that was like 2010 yeah which is crazy i i was hyped that a verified account even replied to I am forever I got hype once with because Chipotle like responded to me. I got hyped and they like I Don't know. I was it was so cool, and I loved Chipotle at the time now not so much speaking of brands We do have more sponsors that I would have forgot about but Listen Mother's Day is coming up brands we do have more sponsors that I would have forgot about but listen Mother's Day is coming up you know what that means I have the greatest gift in

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Just go to stamps.com and use the code basement for that special offer. Okay? Boom. Boom. All right. So, it looks like Ant pulled up other times that Wendy's roasted people on Twitter. This is going back, oh this is only a couple years. I feel like this is way older though.

Embassy Suites by Hilton, replying to someone, roast us next, tell your dad to get off Twitter. They roasted other companies here. So is it like their thing, is Wendy's now like the official roaster of people on social media? This is stupid. It's like monster energy, top drink of choice for when you hate yourself And so does your English teacher like it's a little intense that is true

But that's not a roast when you're just exposing the truth. Have you ever drank a Monster's energy? No, have you I have never but I feel like if I did I would immediately like just start wearing Tap out shirts all the time. I feel like that too I feel like if I didn't want to have sex with women then I would probably love it like if you wanted to hate them yeah like if your approach to women was just like I'm gonna be mean to them and then when they don't like me I'm gonna hate them for it bro I'm glad that them for it. Bro. I'm glad that you brought that up. Okay, oh boy.

Are we going after incels today? Yeah. Every day, get them! There was a tweet that I saw, and it was a dude, and like, I mean obviously it's the internet, so who knows if this is like real, but it was a dude's

like Tinder profile. Starts it off with trigger warning. Yeah, you've already- you've already lost. You're already- If you write your own trigger warning to like your bio or like, Oh, I might say something offensive. Or if it's like, me and my boy, if we started a podcast, we get canceled immediately. Cancelled immediately. Yeah. Yo, you guys are sick, dude. Or if it's like me and my boy if we started a podcast we get canceled immediately immediately yeah You guys are sick, dude

Just say you're racist It says let me guess you're 25 with three kids. This is how he's starting off wait. Who's he saying? This is a random person. Oh, this is bio his tinder bio Oh, so he thinks he's attracting a certain clientele. Let me guess. Let me guess. You're 25 with three kids. And you've done, and you've done, had your fun. Now you don't want that. You want a real man to settle down with and take care of you and your kids because you let a loser nut inside you.

Jesus Christ. Then the ultimate, I'm six foot even. We're starting off with a height. That's when you know. That's what you guys do. I mean, when you start off with your height, or if your height is in your bio, then your dick is. Tiny.

Tiny. I'm six foot even, have my own house, two vehicles. Vehicles. Technically a bike is a vehicle. And I make over 75K a year. Whoa! I mean, I know it's hard out there for people, but like... To put it on here like it's like, yeah.

What do you bring to the table? If the answer is someone else's kids, then go kick rocks. No man will ever want you. Stop saying you're thick. You're obese. Also, you're not a dog mom. You're a pet owner. I will say that last, the very last line I am fully on board with You're not a dog mom, you're a pet owner

That kinda goes hard But does it- No it doesn't, fuck you No, you call yourself dog dad? No If anyone says you have any kids you say yeah And he has four paws No

If you did Joey, tell me right now Because I will shoot you in the back of the head we got down to the bottom here this is kind of insane um no I wouldn't say that but what you know I'm definitely beating you. My thing is like I don't understand why there's men on the internet thinking like if your objective is to attract women why is the thought process like I'm going to insult them first? Well I think there's this mentality that it's just like women want a man that's a real man that tells them like, where's my fucking dinner and fuck you and your opinions, I'm gonna handle everything.

Like they think that's what people want. Do they all sound like Stone Cold? I mean, I don't know. But don't disrespect Stone Cold, C. Boston by the way. Not in my fucking house. Are you kidding me? It's my dream to get fucking stunnered. We can make that happen. I would love to make that happen.

Oh my god, it would be so sick. No, I think it's because like, society tells them like, Men are not men anymore. Now they wear dresses and they drink soy lattes and they have, you know, Friends that are women that they're not fucking. You know, like- Even straight guys are gay! Yeah, basically.

So like, they feel like the people that are unable to formulate any opinion outside of what they're being told by the media think like, Okay, so in order to appeal to the women that I want, I need to be a piece of shit. But like, I understand that. My, my, what I'm saying is like, it's interesting for me to see guys thinking that in order to make myself look desirable, I have to be mean. Or I have to say negative things about women and like,

this is what I bring to the table So and you don't right? It's it's not necessarily about making yourself be like, okay If you want to be successful you want to be in shape you want to do all those things. That's great That's a great thing You don't need to then put down women at the same time because that hurts your chances at being attractive I don't get the idea that you that hurts your chances at being attractive. I don't get the idea that you're like you're not an idiot. Why not?

Not a moron. That's why you don't get it. That's why I've stopped even trying to understand it. When I say like I don't get why these people are so stupid. It's because I'm not putting myself in the idiotic mindset to even try to comprehend it. That's why you don't get it. What so you, I know how you are Joey, you try to

understand things that you don't get. Sometimes if you don't get it and you don't understand it just let it fucking be dumb and idiotic by itself. I'm just saying I think that if the objective is to be like a high value man the value like oh my god hold on so listen right I just want to get this out this is it by the way like four millers deep this is

what we're talking yeah I know those are Michelob's we're on a golf course Yeah. Did you expense those? Yeah. Oh yeah. Um. I'm saying like If the objective is to be attractive to women, right? And even the term high value man. I hate that shit so much. Same, but Who determines the value?

I think... If you're talking about the dating market, the person who makes the value is the opposite person. You know what I mean? Like, you're only a high value man if women see you as a high value man. Not if men see you as a high value man

because that's not the market! You know, I'm not going to say their names, but now all these fucking, like, women see you as a high value man. Not if men see you as a high value man because that's not the market. You know, I'm not gonna say their names, but now all these fucking like pro men podcasters that sit there and just be like, you're high value because you're strong. You're high value because you are, your ancestors killed saber tooth tigers.

They have convinced people that are sitting in their fucking basement and playing video games for 20 hours a day, which I'm not saying anything bad about that. I love video games. But like they have convinced those people that like they they need to go out and grab respect by the fucking horns and rain it rain it in. Yeah. Without giving the respect to other people. No, and like that's my point. Like I'm saying the term high value man, like who determines the value?

It makes more sense to me to be like, well you're a high value man because a lot of women want you. Not because a lot of dudes want you like if you're a straight guy Yeah, and that's cool. Well. Yeah, no, that's not what I'm talking about though But like in if you're a straight guy if you're a high value man That means that women are determining the value because those are the people that are choosing you know what I mean a supply and demand Baby, I completely get it so like you're saying you want to be a high value man Because other men think that you're high value or something like you're trying to prove a point to other men like that

Doesn't but that doesn't like you're you're isolating. This is what this is. I know that I'm not confused I'm just like talking but you are confused and I'm not confused. You're stupid What are you talking about? I think so Joey right before we were recording was saying that he believes he is a high value man and that people should be impressed when he walked into the room. Like Joey said, he's like, when I walk to the room people say like, oh my god, that's a guy that means more than anyone else in here. What are you talking about?

I know, I'm talking out of my ass, honestly. Now, yeah, now, I was getting to a point and you just did your job back. I know, and I appreciate your point, but I also think that this is a comedy show that we talk a lot about comedy sorry catch up go ahead start catch up you don't want to talk about that what do you want to talk about you talking about I'm fucking around Jesus Christ Joey I was in the middle of a thing good for you you were in the middle of you think you made your point that these people are idiots We cross that bridge back at fucking Timbuktu. Okay, so go ahead. Sorry. How's your day going?

It was going good Can someone explain how this these things always are bubbling What is carbonation Carbonation is gas. Oh, too. Yeah, it's carbon dioxide. Is it co2. I think so Carbonation is gas. CO2. Yeah, it's carbon dioxide. Is it CO2? I think so. Yeah, that they pump into it But there's always bubbles you ever have a glass of champagne and there's one It's like one bubble. It's getting like bigger and it just goes one line straight up. Oh, yeah What the fuck is that? How is that a thing? Where does it choose to go? Why are we asking Anton as if he knows this is the guy that walked over with a vodka diet coke

Crushed it too. Good for you. Yeah, I was debating getting another one you should Should get another one. No, it's okay. You should butt-chug another one. Okay. How many days a week do you think you drink? Can't answer that on here. Can I yes you can because your parents aren't listening probably like four That's more than half of the days of the three that's less than half to be honest though for Four days a week Let me ask you another question. So I'll ask you to then I'll get to you because I know your answer is double If you're going out mm-hmm Like let's say work we're set the scene set the scene for me because going out and like okay

I'm not gonna say look. Let's let's say that like Becca and the kids are like Somewhere else they went on a vacation somewhere, and you're not there without me. Okay. Okay at home I'm trying to set a scene where it's like you don't have like responsibilities to go back to or anything like that. I can come out with me and I have no responsibilities. Bro, that's not what I'm saying. My, you'll see what I'm saying.

If you don't have like that whole thing and it's like, okay, you're gonna, you're, me and you are gonna go out. And get after it? Um, I guess? How many drinks do you think that you would usually have on a night out like that? Well, again, like, Emma, are we getting after it or are we just like, casually, just like a dinner? Um, okay, so it's like a dinner and then we'll go to a cocktail bar after. Maybe like three. Maybe three. I would say one at dinner, maybe two at dinner, and then one at the cocktail bar. But like if we're going for it and it's like... What is going for it? Like I don't know like the... 2011... It's not 2011, it's

today. Okay, yeah I would say three. Three drinks. Yeah, I would say. How many would you say? I feel like my answer is kind of boring. I would just match whoever's drinking the most. Yeah, like you can't Whoever's drinking the most out of the group. That's all I'll match. I'll find my buddy and we'll go after. Yeah, so if we go out so dinner and cocktails we're talking about let's say dinner's at Yeah, so if we go out so dinner and cocktails. We're talking about let's say dinners at 730 and we go out for cocktails or and we're done by like 11, okay, so that's three and a half hours Yeah, so like a drink an hour. Yeah, I would say That's not my answer. What's yours more my answer is as much as Joe drinks

I think like again like it you have to match the atmosphere if the people at the table are just like yo We're gonna have a night, then- then it's like, alright. It's not about having a night, because like, if you drink a drink an hour, there's never, uh- Oh, it's going down. Oh, Frank, Frank, Frank! He wasn't looking at the cup. Just wanna- Um, no, I- cause, I don't know. I was just curious. How many- how many would you you how many do you order I?

Think then when I go out with my friends if we're going out if I go out at like 7 o'clock I'll usually have like five Okay, I'm not going to a place in ordering one. I'm not doing I think like I could do one I mean, yeah, well, yeah, I'm just saying like why am I here? I just I can't do alcohol the way I used to I I just can't like this is This is crazy I don't know how we used to do this and then be like let's get another I've had back then you were like I want to say worse and make it like that, but like you could drink a lot of beer.

Dude, I, this is not an exaggeration. If we're going like college, I could have drank this and then another. That's insane. And don't get me wrong, I would have been very drunk. Yeah. But like I would have been able to get through it. Bro, I don't think you realize, cause like we also drank the way that we were drinking was different now We're like casual. You know what I mean like we're poor one. We're like, well, it's another like it was just it was a lot more Binge drinking like back then than it is now. Yeah, and it was also the way at which we were bro

We would drink think about this. We would play fucking Ten games of beer pong a night That's a beer in those two beers in those cups That's a one beer per person and we would have a drink in our hand while we were doing it. Yeah like You know, that's a lot of fucking alcohol it's kind of crazy. It's a little when you think about it Yeah, dude. I bro we have if I go out and it's just dinner It's a little date night. Okay to

Yeah, something like that one or two. I don't see my friends that often so like maybe like I Don't know like every other weekend on average maybe something like that But there's like times where I don't I don't see my friends for like a month or something like that But if I'm going out like it's usually like five or six drinks If it's that sort of if the idea is to go out and and enjoy like a drinking Day drinking I can drink all day. Well. That's what I'm saying like if you're like. Oh, we're going to this thing at noon That's a mistake my issue is

burpee no no no you're burpee boy I am I well you're sorry you're a yeah because I have that thing I have a disease people told me I have a disease you do it's called like something ours are PD or are you have you have P Diddy no I don't have PD it's our a c3po or R2d2 R2d2 didi but it's something where it's like you can't burp so it doesn't... There he goes. Oh hiccups? Oh no. No.

Yeah, I don't know how to pronounce that. It's like retrograde crocopharyngeal? Everyone's got fucking college degrees over here. Derees now. College dungarees. Derees. RCPD. You got everyone's got fucking college degree degrees or degrees now college dungarees deris RC PD I Got the c3. That's it like I was talking about on the show someone messaged me like this is what it is I have it too, and then I started getting like fed a bunch of tik-toks about it. Yeah, I don't care so I'm just

One more beer is gonna start swinging I'm not gonna start swinging. I'm gonna start crying. Oh, I'm an emotional drunk. Don't do that You know you you used to be Joey Muscles back in the day. They're referring to like 2013. Yep That's why I said back in the day. Yeah, 12 years ago. Yes, absolutely people change No, I know that obviously but like back in the day you used to be Joey Muscles. I've always been a very happy, fun drunk. That's something I hold in very high regard, because we know people that when they drink it's like, this is the worst person to be around in the world. Yeah. Do you think that we'll get to a point in life where it's like drinking is like cigarettes to us?

Yeah, absolutely. Right? I think, and honestly, I think we're pretty close. There was a study that came out a couple years ago that like the generation that's like turning 21. Z doesn't drink, yeah. They are drinking significantly less. Right. And we, we, we, when we did the Penn State show, we joked about that and they

were like, no, we're drinking brother, but like that's a college crowd. But I do think that alcohol is becoming less popular, you know, with the current generation. Yeah. I think eventually there'll just be a pill that you take beforehand and it like just gets rid of the effects anyway Like I think eventually everyone's gonna be able to do whatever they want. I think people are not drinking because of Hangovers, I think they're not drinking because it's like not good. Well, there is no I mean like he means like there's there'll be a Yeah, like you could feel drunk there it's called drugs brother

They have those They absolutely have the drugs my guy. Mm have those. They have those. They absolutely have them already. It's called drugs, my guy. So that's what that is. But yeah, I mean, we got so close. Well... Some of us got closer. Some of us... Are you closer than me? Yeah, a little. Oh, no.

You know, I did picture this is how this would end Frank is trying someone's got to throw up I'm below you I beat you you're in the middle. No just take from the spout Oh wow I spilled a little damn all right you win you win I can't do this he has always said if that's kind of crazy I I sorry mom anyway mom said like don't be drunk on the internet no oh well cuz I'm said like don't be drunk on the internet. No. Oh well cuz I'm Sorry Liz my mom. Sorry Nancy's her name Frank But yet 500 episode next time we'll do this with vodka no You would do something like that would it would do it that would be the piggy boys like we're doing vodka towers

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you guys are sickos you are sickos thank you just wanna say 500 episodes of the base me yard very crazy I can say as you know I when I started the podcast I thought of it as a thing that was very supplementary to what I was doing at the time and just being like you know this is cool I like to I always the first time I heard myself on a microphone it sounds really cool to hear your voice in headphones and through a microphone or whatever I don't like it I don't like it we abandoned the headphones but I did I was like oh this

wow this feels like very professional or whatever and it was like cool to me and but it never felt like the thing and now it's just brought so much to my life so I appreciate it 500 episodes of the show and it's really cool I'm really proud of it I'm glad that you're here doing the thing with me too and also happy we're doing it together he thought I was gonna say something negative I thought you're here doing the thing with me too. And also happy that you're here. We're doing it together. You thought I was going to say something negative? I thought you were going to say, I am. No, no, no.

I'm happy Ant's here too. Oh. Yeah, we are. You've been great. Some people hate the addition of you. I'll say that. Yeah, that's life. It's fine.

That's life. That's life. That's what all them people say. You're flying high in April shot down in May But I know I'm gonna play that tune When I'm back on top back on top in June And they say that's life. That's I

Can't deny it Thank you guys so much for being around for 500 episodes Hopefully you're around for 500 more at least a couple more At least tell your friends But not even gonna do a regular sign off, but we appreciate you guys. Thank you so much But not even gonna do a regular sign off, but we appreciate you guys. Thank you so much Love it what a ride having a great time love it guys so much of it fibs and fubs it see you next time