The Basement Yard - #502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

Tickets on sale Tuesday (5/13) at 12pm EST with presale code BASEMENT! Available at https://www.thebasementyard.com/shows Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the bas- MUSIC Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank! Uh... SON SHUT UP! SUNGLASSES SHOW IS BACK! Yes, clearly, and you've got energy, you've got power, you've got power, I've got energy, I've got... You got energy, you got spunk, you got something- More energy

More energy More energy What's that? What's that? Yeah It's some TikTok shit What was that song? You got style you you got funk you you got something all the girls want

I think we listen to different music You gotta tell me no Oh you're fucking Nicki Minaj Your love your love babe your love She's so spunk in that song? Maybe I mean technically Your love, your love, babe, your love, your love. She's so spunk in that song? Maybe. I mean, technically, by definition, you do have spunk. What is spunk?

Oh, is that sperm? I think that's what the- Well, no, spunk is like, you have got like a mojo or something. I know, that's what we think. But also, like over there, they're calling things something different. Oh, in Britain, they're like, spunk is like- In Britain, they're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You didn't need to do that. I was just making sure everyone was on the same page sure that's a white kid wanky you know But yeah, technically You've got style you you've got spunk. Thank you. You've got something Everyone wants apparently oh, which is 40 billion dollars in the bank right? Joey didn't wish I wouldn't want that much money. I wouldn't want that much money because then because then what you're anguish Nothing you're gonna be able to do all the people around you immediately view you as just a piggy bank. We got it Joe I Hope that you have I hope that you have it and then and then then you'll see you know what and then then then then

Both of us. I also hope I have 40 billion dollars. Yeah. And if I get 40 billion dollars, you'll get some money too. How about that? I'd love that. He's going to dangle it. He'll be like, and eat this roach. I don't need to do that.

Anytime we talk with him, he's just like, oh, you think you can eat 40,000 Smarties? I'm like, what's wrong with you? He's got all these questions. Do you think you can drink four gallons of mayonnaise water? And it's like, why do you need to? You guys love doing shit. That's just going to make you throw up. I'm sorry. You know what I love? Doing live shows and we're going back on the road. We're going back on the road, baby! I didn't know where you were going with that.

I was a little scared. Well, I didn't want to bury, you know, too far into the episode. We gotta talk about this shit. We're doing shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing shows. I'm sorry, I'll be honest with you. You surprised me with that, kind of caught me off guard.

I'm a little flustered. My spunk has left my body. Well, you better go and get it. And go grab it and put it back in your pee hole what's up ladies and gentlemen today we're talking about the day immediately demonetized shove your spunk back in your hold see did you need to do that Joey just put it in a this is what glasses Joe does he comes out hot yo you know what's crazy yes yeah I don't know what it is about sunglasses you have that I don't think so I think I'm just a normal person that wears sunglasses when I wear them. You don't have something that like once you, like once you started wearing a pinky ring, did you start walking a little more like?

I did start using my hands differently. You know what I mean? You know, like I found myself just naturally just doing this more. You know? Like you wanna be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, you know, and just like scratch, I found myself scratching my face differently. That's a weird thing, but like, normally you wanna be like, yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, you know, and just like scratch. I found myself scratching my face differently. That's a weird thing, but like, normally I'd be like,

but now I'm like, oh, okay, so that looks very similar. I don't know if it's the sunglasses. Like I will scratch, I'll be like. You're using your pinky more. Yeah, like I just use my pinky more. Definitely eat sandwiches differently. We've talked about this quite a ton.

Yeah, you're like. Yeah, you, I eat sandwiches like like two dogs like two like two shadow Puppet dogs yeah, and I'm just like Enough about your sandwiches guys. We're going back on the road tickets tickets by the way the tickets Pre-sale starts tomorrow whoa if you're watching this not if you're watching on a page. Oh, okay, okay? May 13th pre. I mean you know I can't read all Now with those glass polarized whatever that means. Oh, there's Polaroids in them

Taking pictures too, okay, no that whole a Roy's uncle that means they react differently to sunlight I understand that because they must because my employer got us vision insurance, and I'm very appreciative of that boom Because they must because my employer got us vision insurance, and I'm very appreciative of that boom But you're fucking giggles. He's no longer giggles now. He's big deep laugh boy We need to stop being mean to aunt Joey yeah, you know the comments they were so on your side It's crazy. I don't know what like they think that like I made a comment. We're like abusive people no No, I was I was saying like there I did see like a one it was like one or two comments that were like I don't really like the addition of ant and

I said it in passing on an episode or you said or something and then everyone came to your defense like I love it I was like all right love is crazy I love them too. It sounds like it's a plant. You know and just decided to go on his food tube account and like You know how they say Finsta is fake Instagram Account or his Finsta or his fitter or his facts whatever oh X because it's no longer Twitter. Oh Well, I appreciate it well. Jesus. Did you hear the rumor? I know that you got to get to that We're not that apparently he named it that because he wanted his jump to be the logo

You know how would you jump you know how Elon Musk jumps like a fucking like a telly top like a knickknack Yeah, remember those toys from the early 2000. I actually don't but I feel like You know how Elon Musk jumps like a fucking... Like a tally-tally? Like a knick-knack? Yeah. Remember those toys from the early 2000s? I actually don't, but I feel like... You're right. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. He like did that so like his body jumping could look like...

Dude, I don't know. Dude, did I ever tell you? I don't know. People are like... With baited breath watching this. So, do you remember how like... I'll think of something or I'll have a dream in the middle of the night and then I'll write it down in my notes app? Yep. I wrote down this thing, and I don't know what time I wrote it, but it was like a middle of the night type of thing.

And I wrote, newborn babies look like if you successfully shoved Elon Musk into a water bottle. Come on, Joey. Come on Joe Come on, dude You can't spring that on me and then expect to move off that That's what I said. I will be honest with you right so I went a lot of my life seeing newborn babies and being like Let's give it a second before we with the cute comments. You know cuz like they just got here, let's give them a second to adapt. Yeah, let them adjust. They're a little purple,

they're a little smushed, misshapen type of things. Give it to a- Oh, I get it. You know what I mean? I completely get it. But, like, Greg's newborn and our friend Eleni, both beautiful newborns. I texted Greg that exact thing.

I was like, this is a good looking baby. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. Oh. I didn't get those pictures, that's not fair. I didn't get those pictures. I was like, this is a good looking baby. Yeah, that's what exactly I said. Oh, I didn't get those pictures. That's not fair. I didn't get those. I just wanna look around. Wait, hold on, time out. You don't get to have that reaction

because you're going, oh, I know what you mean. Oh, I know. Yeah, how about you? My fucking newborn daughter is where. But that's what I'm saying. You're saying, oh, I know. What I'm talking about newborns not looking good. No, most newborns look like aliens. I agree. Greg's newborn. I haven't seen a Lenny's I

Fucking what about my daughter's bitch their beautiful children Go back to what when they were newborns. I actually don't remember if I show you right now Will you give them your beautiful fucking cuz I'm pissed now now you got me worked up. Give me the glasses bitch wait What were they beautiful newborns? don't remember I don't know what they look like I can tell you this I could tell you that my own nieces and nephews I've seen some pictures and I was like whoo you know I'm gonna have to let this breathe a little bit you know I'm pulling pictures out because I'm furious now now you got me now you got me I can't give a compliment without you

needing compliments when you're specifically complimenting other people's newborns, I would hope that you feel similar, if not the same, about my newborn daughters. The baby was born three weeks ago. Look at that! That's Maeve. Let me see that. You know what she said. Where you are. I can't see it. Hold the eyes! Hold the eyes! Take your fucking glasses off. That's a beautiful baby.

Thank you so much. One more, bitch. Now we're doing this. I'll, uh... I'm itchy. I don't know why my pack is itchy. I'm going to do this now. Now it's going to be a while. Yeah, it's going to. It's not going to be a while. I don't post enough that I can be like, Oh no, where is everything? Really? Cause it looks like you're swiping the hell out of the thing over there. Ruby. I like me better, but that's a beautiful baby this is crazy this is crazy they were both equally beautiful yeah but you have to say that I'm infuriated right now no I don't that's the thing that's secret is that they don't tell you is that you feel this chemical thing that like no matter what your kids look like

they're beautiful I believe that yeah I'm on the edge. Why? Of fucking pure rage right now. For what? What are you talking about? I don't know. But I'm there. What are you doing? I don't know what I'm about to be enraged about. First of all, I was making a joke that newborn babies look weird. You agree with me.

I agree. I agree. But not mine. Okay. You can have that opinion, that's fine. You just said it. If you don't have that same opinion I'm gonna throw something where you throwing it at you what are you throwing wait if I what I gotta think you're telling my newborn daughters were just as beautiful they're beautiful babies yes you heard the baby's part right you saw the asterisk that he put on it what are they not babies when they're born? We're gonna move on

I'm starting to get I'm starting to get Worked up. I can't make jokes now. It's crazy. No, no, no, no, no, yes You get it. Yeah, I'm echoing what you're saying now You have beautiful daughters and a son who's also beautiful can I say that I can't write yeah I mean some sure yeah mm-hmm now I just feel like a grandma with a handsome anyway can we get to the reason why we're here I feel like we've blueballed you guys enough but we oh there we go okay I thought I deleted everything listen we're going back on the road. Tickets are on presale tomorrow with the code

baseman at thebasemear.com as always, okay? So May 13th presale will start, I believe, at 10 a.m., but didn't ask that question. Let me type that to Greg real quick. Uh, 10 a.m.? Presale starts? Question mark? We're gonna get to the end of that.

Also, is that 10 a.m. our time or 10 a.m. local time? That's a We're gonna get to the end of that. Also is that 10am our time or 10am local time? That's a great question too, I have no fucking idea. We need to figure that out. Um, so, let's go over some dates here, okay? We're opening up this tour... St. Louis, okay? June 28th, we will be in St. Louis, Missouri. Never been there. You been there? Chances are if you have not been, have not been you've been to Missouri nope First time for everybody never been there. I don't even think Greg's been there Greg the old I've been there by the way Oh, yeah, Greg been there ain't that been there seen that

By the way while we were in Europe there was a legitimate series of conversations between you Zack and Greg like in competition with each other about like who's been to the more places. Oh, I've been to the least out of them. I know, but like it was like so interesting to sit there and like listen to that because anything you said Zach was like, yeah I've been there. Zach's been to like 20 countries. Wow, they dragged me into that at dinner. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, because you were like, oh no, 12 and then you counted it was like six haha okay well he's gone to a ruba 55 times so this guy was counting everything at Epcot yeah I went to Morocco

in Florida yeah so I had a drink over in Mexico and then we went over to Finland is that there yeah okay so st. Louis June 28th we'll be in st. Louis, Kansas City We had a date lined up and then I think the venue exploded something like that the HVAC doesn't work God knows what but we're trying to figure out a date then most likely it will be June 27th But by the time you see this the website will be updated So even right now as you're listening to this you can go to the basement.com you will see the dates there But Kansas City we will be there

San Diego, okay, July 10th and 11th, we will be in San Diego. That's in California. Yeah, correct. And then on the 12th, we will be in San Francisco. Francisco. That's a fun word to say. It is a fun word to say. Then we will be in

Atlantic City in New Jersey. Frank's backyard legitimately. Yeah. Well, I live a little a little while away from there. Frank's backyard is Atlantic City. And that will be on July 28th. Then we're going to Minneapolis. Never been there. Been there? No been there? Been there? I connected. About to go. Oh yeah, that's right. been connected about to go. I was oh, yeah, that's right You're about to go I connected I had a flight connection there keeper warm for us because we're gonna be there on July 24th, and then Milwaukee on July 25th Okay, the reason you wanted to go there is because they call it the cream city and Joey's so into that love the cream city Not only that but then on July 26thth We are gonna get some hot dogs in Chicago. Okay, good coming back to Chicago Dad we're going back to Toronto

Okay, August August 6th will be back in Toronto Detroit Detroit what we're going in Toronto Detroit Detroit what we're going to be real careful August 9th okay we're going yeah then we're going to Phoenix August 28th guess how hot it'll be phoenix that's not it that's how you spell it it does that's how I remember it it's gonna be 115 horse degrees out there horse degrees what's a horse degree I don't even know is it like you know plus seven or whatever they do for like dog years why do they measure horses and hands so dumb use them you should use a rule really and they're

like it's five hands whose hands who is this but yeah we're gonna be in Phoenix August 28th Labor Day weekend we're gonna be in Vegas Vegas okay we're gonna be in Phoenix August 28th. Labor Day weekend! We're gonna be in Vegas! Vegas, okay? We're gonna be there, uh, unsure of the date, but it'll be, you know, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, somewhere around there. Still figuring that out. But Labor Day weekend will be in Vegas. Then Columbus, Ohio. Ohio! We are gonna be there September 18th. Pittsburgh, September 20th. We have round three for Pittsburgh. Round three for Pittsburgh. Hopefully we can go to a game.

I don't know if they're there or not. Regardless of what's going on. Pittsburgh, first time I went, amazing. Second time, not so hot. This is going to be the tiebreaker. This is the rubber game. The rubber match. September 27th, Philadelphia.

We're coming back. All right, we're coming back to Philly. Then, South Florida, October 16th. We'll be there, okay? We're gonna go to the Hard Rock. Then, Orlando, October 17th. Tampa, October 19th. Then we're going back to DC October 23rd, we're going

to Boston on November 6th, and then we're ending the tour once again in New York City on November 13th. Okay, so we got a bunch of shows now for the rest of the year and crazy because this is the year 2025 so 25 and 11 plus 13 is 24 and we are one show so you think about that the numbers line up perfectly I'm gonna get a nosebleed trying to figure that out 12 p.m. Eastern for all venues okay pre sale and general on sale like I said pre sale May 13th with the code Baseman at thebasemanyard.com.

General sale, which means you don't need a code. Basemanyard.com on May 16th, okay? And, and, listen. And? For the people whose first response is, oh my God, no Delaware show? Listen guys, there's more that goes in behind the scenes than you'd think so. Let's have a party. Let's have fun time.

Also, I mean, things get added along the way. Things get added along the way. We don't know what's gonna happen. We have no idea. So, whatever. But, these are the shows that we have right here. I'll be honest with you, I don't know about things being added along the way. It's gonna happen, honestly. There's not much time for you guys to get into it. Joey's like, things are added. I'm just like, ugh. I'm looking at it. I'm like there's not any day off. Well, it's the polar bear-ization. That's what it is. That's what it's gotta be. That's what it is.

It's the polar bears. Of these cities, any that you're really excited about? I've heard a lot about barbecue in St. Louis and in Kansas City. Yeah. What are they called though? What are those that's called something? Missouri. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. barbecue in st. Louis and in Kansas City yeah what do they call the what are those is called something Missouri yeah I don't know but like there's some bar I hear that they'd I set hat ping I've heard they had good food over there and I'm excited get a rib fuck don't don't fucking don't rip you know how I feel

about ribs yeah you know how I feel about ribs yeah you know how I feel about like they get them all over your hands and ice while you got one of the best like what are we eating and then this the execution is just stellar you remember how we just talked about how you want we want to be filthy ribs is when you're just oh a good and I'm talking like listen. I understand a dry rub. I get it if If you present a dry rub option to me, I'm presenting an AK 47 to your skull I want this thing to be the stickiest Rippiest

filthy yeah fucking soaking wet yeah, I filthy yeah fucking soaking wet yeah I also everywhere I want to cut it open and then I want to squeeze it and have it piss on me dude when people cut brisket or burgers then they do that thing where they flip it on top of each other and they go like this and it's a thing is just fucking urinating all over my fucking aluminum foil full diaper oh god I want a type I want a diaper a brisket baby that's what I'm talking about yeah overnight diaper so like they have extra moisture absorption no I'm saying to the specifics he's a

dad pull-ups too so you it does the work of blowout cover with the blowout cover you need that blow up protection barrier okay yeah I want listen oh hear me out you just sucked in all the air what if we have a barbecue joint we open a restaurant it's all themed after like diapers So like it'll be like a Curry brisket or curry flavored ribs, and it's in a diaper You want to serve and hold on hold on and then like you get nachos and it's in a diaper yeah or like a kid's toilet wait oh you want to serve nachos in a potty

for some reason right the idea up here was stellar one of the best as it came out your mouth as it made its way through my neurological pathways I don't think that it like I think I think coming this way it didn't hit as well as I thought it was going to I also think that but like I'm just talking about just like a filthy, you know, like the messier you get, the less on your bill. You know what I'm saying? I kinda like that.

Like, if you walk out of there just like a filthy, disgusting bitch, you pay less. Like the cleaner you are, they give you a surcharge. I saw something on the internet the other day Hold on before I get into that just to reiterate We're gonna do this multiple times. There's May 13th, which is tomorrow if you're watching this on YouTube presale starts At noon I almost called it midnight at noon 12 p.m. Eastern Eastern everything looks set your phone You set your phone to New York time, baby Easter wherever you shall be upon this rock that we call earth

The basement yard dot-com the pre-sale code is basement be ready. This is a brand new show, okay? It's not the same show that you saw once before it's a brand new show it is going to be so much fun We are very excited and just to go over the cities again, St. Louis, Kansas City, San Diego, San Francisco, Atlantic City, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago, Toronto, Detroit, Phoenix, Vegas, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Philly, South Florida, Orlando, Tampa, DC, Boston, and of course New York. And if you for some reason forget that the pre-sale code is Basement, just remember that it's where Joey first saw pictures of wieners.'s a pretty easy way to remember that why are you saying that

just if people need help well you get people if people for some reason are like what is the code and then they just remember that the first time that you saw a picture of a wiener whether it had been flaccid fully erect whatever it was in your basement. Why do you say, why, but why, what? I don't know. Just in case they need help remembering. But I don't know if that's true. That they won't remember? I think the chances are. No, that was the first time that I saw a wiener. So where was it? In the bathroom?

I have a brother. I saw his wiener. Insane response. Was it in the basement though? Probably not. Probably peeing. Probably peeing in the ba- we took baths together. Okay, listen Joey. Chances are the first time you saw a penis was in your basement. I think this is a way- You don't get to say that. I think it's a room in your house. I think it's fair that the people, if they for some reason forget, they have that to fall back on. You guys could fall back on the name of the show. name is the base sure that I know all the coats are basement sure that can help to that can help You making up a scenario about me. I'm not making anything up I'm suggesting some form of a student like some some way for the people to have a better understanding and help them remember

Making up is what I'm not making it up. I'm suggesting making up Making up is what? I'm not making it up, I'm suggesting Making up Um, but yeah, May 13th, pre-sale, basement, I was gonna say something and now I forgot I shouldn't have done that I shouldn't- But we have to sell tickets I think, uh, oh, do we go to that like, uh, do we go to a barbecue restaurant where it's just like they just have like a fucking dragon ribs or something? What the hell are you talking like I'm talking like a table of ribs. I want to go to a restaurant that

My favorite restaurants don't have tablecloths on them, and you know what the fuck I mean You know what I mean and like they don't serve your food on plates They put it on paper, or they just give you a metal tray Okay, you know I mean I've only been to a couple places like usually barbecue does that yeah, that's what I'm talking about Yeah, so I think it's so I probably should you said barbecue might be my favorite You know what I want to do. I want to go to one of those restaurants where they call you a bitch No, dude. You know like you like dick like what dick's last resort. What's that? I think that's what the plate the one that would like put a hat on you and it says like

fucking Yeah loves to fucking eat marbles or some shit. Oh, I bet That being the example that you had is so funny have you ever been to one? No, I walked by one a ton when we like used to go to Vegas when we were younger Yeah, and I like it was big. It's like Hooters. It's like the gimmick is just like oh boy What are they gonna say I wait? Didn't you accidentally go to one of these places? When we were in Ireland, oh no, then the guy was like you ordered tea and the guys like that's gay

Yes, but he did it two days in a row, but no the second day I went he wasn't there and I said what happened to him and they said like They're filming a movie across the street, and they told him to leave They were filming I thought he called you gay two days in a row the first day the second day someone else there called me gay It was this is why I'm saying it might be a no No, it wasn't like maybe it was the gimmick, but like it was a little hole in the wall spot in Dublin That was like it was like dicks all over the wall or something there was dicks everywhere brother See this must be one of those places, but no it wasn't a chain

It was just like I looked up like local I like googled like best English not English best Irish breakfast in Dublin and it was like one of the first places that popped up So I like looked at it, and I was like oh shit. This is right Near where we were staying so I was like I'll just walk there, and it was covered in penis No, so outside. I walk up, and it's just an old And it was covered in penis. No, so outside I walk up and it's just an old grumpy Irish man. Nice. And I'm not gonna do the impression because I haven't gotten my Irish impression down yet.

Yeah. But like, he's just like, are you American? I'm like, yeah. He goes, oh fuck, fuck you. Did he really? Yeah! And I'm like, he's like, alright, how many? I was like, oh just me.

He's like, you're dining alone? And you're an American you're a piece of shit like he was going off dude Broke going off. I'm surprised you out of all people sat down there I feel like you'd be like bro. I was by myself, and I was hungry and I was in a good mood Okay, so I sat down at the bar by myself, and he's like all right What can I get you an Irish coffee and bro? They had a giant thing on the wall a ju- like a magnum triple quadruple magnum bottle of Jameson with like a spout underneath it and he's like you want an Irish coffee? I was like no I'll take a tea and he goes you want a tea? I'm like yeah and he goes that's so fucking gay

I'm just like What it's tea was everything else normal the food was normal the atmosphere was normal besides the penis of abundance of cocks everywhere What is with I go? I don't know and we're they actual or then they just looked like penis No, they were like meant to look like penises got it, and I was just like This I don't know if it was like a restaurant gimmick Or if it was just this old man at the door right and he was just he'd go from table to table When you call another people gay yeah, hell yeah everyone in there was gay what yeah, dude

So they legit I'm not kidding they said they were filming a movie across the street and they had to They told him like you need to not be here today for the filming of this movie Wow, I don't know if that meant he was like a fucking problem yeah Chances are he was sounds like it, but yeah, dude and and like the food was great. It was good. The potential. But it was also like, you know like that level of like, that age of men where they're like, they call everything gay but then they act super gay with their buddies. Okay. You know what I'm talking about? Like they were the ones that were like in the showers at football

practice and they were like grabbing each other's balls and stuff like that you've never heard that like he was doing that where he was saying like joking around yeah yeah it's just like well I'll fucking kiss you right now yeah you know like something like that it was said you were gay and he said it I was very confused because like a part of me was just like did you look at your receipt was there like a slur charge I just realized how because like a part of me was just like did you look at your receipt? Was there like a slur charge? I? Just realized how good of a joke that was cuz it sounds like search. Yeah, that was incredible. Yeah in retrospect Yeah, just say that and if that makes it seem like a back pocket that pocket hey Josh

Oh, you don't even get to say anything he gets it. You know see what he's watching but Yeah, dude. I was crazy, but I've never been to one of those where they like verbally berate you I think that would be funny, but I probably get my feelings hurt Here's the thing yeah and you know me I Would be Very good at that so like I

Probably shouldn't go to one of those places because it would just be a verbal spat I would be nervous about going to a place like that with you because I feel like for the most part it would be fine but I think if in a certain mood or a certain thing that someone said and Once Frank starts going like okay, all right, then I'm gonna be like we got to leave now Because this is gonna turn to Frank being like all right. I've had enough of this thing. I'm like okay, okay, okay? I'm like fuck if I if like Hindsight moving back in time if I could have picked my first ever job, and I knew that police existed Right I should have taken that job

What was your construction your first job? No? No? No? I was a groundskeeper at Elmjack. That's right. You did tell me Yeah, yeah, and then like a couple years later. I worked at like a medical like a sports therapy place just like filing paperwork Yo, basically I would show up and we'd be out the night before until like 4 a.m. And I'd show up in scrubs. Yeah, I would love a pair of scrubs I think that scrubs are so cool such an underrated part of that world when dudes are walking around the city that are like Nurses or doctors or whatever and they have scrubs on I'm like no no no no no no this is cool I don't like that what I don't like that. I think that's awesome. You should Let me tell them how to do their thing yeah, go ahead scrubs should be because in my mind

The reason they're doing that is one it appears like it's a medical thing You know what I mean like it's only using that in that off field So like the idea to me is that it should appear to be like it's sterile and like they're only wearing it within the Confines of where they are Bro, if it's like seeing your teacher during the day if I'm out and I see someone in scrubs I am immediately take it's like seeing like Mickey Mouse take his fucking helmet off You know what I'm just like you're a fucking teacher at the movies, and you're like you're not allowed to watch Yes, what the hell yeah, dude. Yeah, I don't like it

All right I mean I get what you're saying, cause like maybe you're like, Dude, the scrubs that you're wearing in the surgery, you're like walking through Central Park with those on? I imagine that they can't do that, yeah. I imagine that like they have to wear special gear. Maybe it's just after work, it's like, oh I'm off my shift, I'm gonna walk to the bar, get a beer with some scrubs on. I'll tell you this. Single guy with scrubs in the city? Forget about it. I'll tell you this. Single guy with scrubs in the city? Forget about it. I'll tell you this.

The rolling out of bed and throwing scrubs on and going to work is phenomenal. Don't even have to think about the outfit. Not even think about the outfit, but like, it's comfortable. Yeah. I mean, you should wear like an undershirt under the top because the top just looks like it's it's like a like a like a small hockey jersey. You know right but You know what I like wearing You know when you gotta get a an x-ray you gotta wear the big jacket Do you like it? Do you like weighted blankets? Yeah, but I don't like owning it because like I can't fold it you like and fold a weighted blanket, bro

I mean unless you have the strength of ten men, what do you mean? It's the same amount of weight. It's just- As a blanket? Wrong. No, no, no. It's not like folding it makes it a heavier blanket. No, it's just like annoying. It's hard to fold things that heavy.

Really? I've never had a weighted blanket so I can't confirm. I had one and like laying with it is great. Like it helps you sleep and not move and shit. But then when I'm up and I wake up, it's like, here's all right. Here's the thing. I am going if I'm going to get a weighted blanket, I'm getting the heaviest weighted blanket I could find. I'm not doing like a a 10 pound for like a little bit of a hug.

I want like a 75 pound weighted blanket Because I like if I'm gonna feel brah, I'm a bigger dude. You know what I'm saying like I'm massive. I'm jump so big You don't need that much to like but it's also done. They also would job the job of holding you down in bed. I Don't know if I'm gonna be held down. That's what the blankets know It's meant to just feel like someone is holding you. Not holding you down, dude. I don't wanna be like fucking- Bro, you get a 75 thing that you, you fucking, you're down. Well, it's also, they say that you need to be very careful

with kids in the house having weighted blankets because like, that could be a nightmare. Also, like, if you pick this thing up and you drop it on a child, dead cur splat. Well, bro, if you drop anything 75 pounds on anyone, they're not 75 pounds. I think the one I had was like 10. Well, no, I've seen they have ones that go up to like 50, 60, 70. Who are those for? Giants? I'm telling you, you can look that up. They're, but they're expensive too. They're like a couple hundred bucks. 60 pounds is insane. Why?

Not necessary. And also like, where do you put that? You know what's- How do you make your bed at 60 pounds? You know what's funny is a couple years ago, I got Becca a quadruple X, like the biggest blanket that you can imagine from this company. Because Becca, you know, when we do like,

when we like lay around and watch stuff, we like being cozy cuddly you understand oh yeah you know you're big cozy cuddly guy and it was like a 10 foot by 10 foot blanket or like 12 feet by 12 feet oh so you're all fucking tucked in a cocoon bro dude you can literally fit all of us under it and then some like I can't start the only thing I didn't realize though Is that folding it is the most yeah difficult thing in the world? I hate it. You know But but just to get all wrapped up like a flower in a bouquet

That's what I'm talking about. Just circle around. That's what I'm talking about I hate throw blankets that are just short enough that like when I put it on my body I either have to decide between it being here or in my toes being out or my toes being out and my nipples being out No hate that yeah, I need my nipples covered. You know what we need here. We go big business guys back Are you about to create a blanket? No, I'm gonna do what the rest of the world is seemingly doing. I'm gonna take the exact same product. Yeah.

And I'm gonna put splashy words in front of it and market it only to men. So men think like, what the hell? Not this fucking target blanket. Okay. You know how they'll be like, here's a bar of soap, but we're gonna call it thick soap. Yes. Smoky gun. Yes. SMOKY GUN. Yes.

SMOKING GUN SOAP. Yeah, well it'll be the exact same product, but we're gonna put flashy marketing toward men words in front of it. For just a blanket? Yeah, it'll be like, Five O'Clock Shadow Throw Blanket. And- I think men think throw blankets... ...brankets? Throw blankets are like gay

which is why there's such a Demand for men's throw blankets yeah, and it could be like this throw blanket is made with like ox tail fur Yeah, and like it's it's scented with cigarettes and titties. Yeah. Yeah You know what I'm talking about? Cigarettes. It's just, it's a market that has not yet been cornered. And we need to get to it before the rock does.

Okay, because this guy, he took skincare and just put his face on it. And now it's a multimillion dollar industry for him. You know? That's the tough part, yeah. So. I love a good throw blanket, man. I love a blanket. You know what I like Actually, I don't even know if I like them, but I like a part of them

You know the blankets that are like knitted by old women quilts. No, those are different. I can get it blanket I know you're like crocheted blanket a crochet blanket. Yep Sometimes I like having that and then I put my toes I know I knew it I knew you could do that you put your toes through the holes and you're like well where I knew you you flare your feet out and then I wear the blanket like a sandal I feel good I don't like that they have such a draft what I don't wear it what's that thing we're like it's like I like there's a phobia that's there's a phobia that like people are afraid of like when there's too many little circles next to each other

Oh, yeah, I tripped up trip. You have the opposite of that where it makes you want to suck it and fuck it no This anytime you have honeycombs you yeah Anytime you had those like diner mints you would let them get porous suck them Uh-huh you that you see holes in a blanket you shove everything you got in them not everything be very honest with me, okay? No, I've never been in one of the okay How do you know giggle giggle he goes yeah, right? Yeah, I've seen it bang the blanket you ever bang a blanket. I've tried JD Vans mine What is I've tried wait wait? What is I've tried? What is I've tried?

What is that more failed? Well, it's in order to fail at something you need to try but like what do you mean? You're too big for the crochet blanket. You couldn't even fit it in Yeah, no well the only way to fail banging a blanket is to just not bang it right so chances are you banged it would you do? I think he might be referencing the conclusion of that of said banging Maybe it didn't get you to where you needed to go mm-hmm so you bang the blanket and you consider that the Not finishing is the failure

Yes Correct all right um I don't want to ask more questions because so moving on was it what color was the blanket maybe why do you know because he remembers it's his story what do you mean why do you know he's like was oh, maybe. Was it your blanket or was it a family blanket? Was it the one that got away is my question. I got another business idea.

I got another business idea. We're going to wait on that. We do have some sponsors for today. The first one being Kickoff, OK? If your credit isn't perfect, you can really feel like the system is stacked against you, but Kickoff is going to help you build your credit immediately for only $1 for your first month, okay? AutoPay helps you build credit while you sleep and never worry about missing a payment.

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anime pillows that people marry You know what I'm talking about you know I know that that has happened I don't know that they're made to I don't know if they're made to be married But they but none of us are technically made to be married but along the way we figure know that they're made to be I don't know if they're made to be married But they but right none of us are technically made to be married But along the way we figure out that we're going to marry I mean tell that to the Christians, dude Okay, I'm not gonna talk to them. I think that you've tuned out of this show a long time ago. Okay. Yeah Hear me out Marriable or

like the same thing with pillows, but they're blankets and like when you fold them It's like you know like me like this But like standing up and then you open the fold and it'll be mean fucking buck naked and it's and it's knitted so like You know what I'm talking about yeah it doesn't work because I don't have a vagina but like say yeah say it was someone that does have a vagina okay yeah the blanket is knitted so you know how you like to fuck your blankets you too you just pointed me saying that well you you don't fuck

your blankets is what you're doing no I wear it like a sandal that's so different. Okay. What's the difference wearing a sandal and having sex? If you don't know the difference Just I think that this could be a multi-million dollar industry. I know that you think that well Why not million dollar industry I know that you think that well why not what the fuck you got glasses on too why are yours purple you look like a fly oh you do doesn't it like a fly yeah like fly bro flies by the way low-key if you get really close to one fuck them they're weird looking yeah fuck fuck fly do you ever see the two big eyes are mad I I ever seen a like an a it really up close. They're like

Their mouths are like vertical. I know they go. I don't think have pincer well They have mandibles. I think is what you're referencing right, but like I think they also have like mouths like us oh Yeah, you know what I'm saying, but like flies Do they have like a bunch of eyes am I making that up? Or they got to I think they have two eyes, but like in the eyes It's like a honeycomb looking shape right and it's like they could see a bunch right, but they got two big goggles What's it? What are you doing? Oh, you're gonna keep going on okay? What what what are you talking about? Yeah, no, I I don't know shaded glasses is a choice, I will say that. I love that, love that choice.

I once had a t-shirt with purple shaded glasses on it. And what is that for? It was Stewie Griffin. You had a Stewie Griffin t-shirt? I had a Stewie Griffin t-shirt and it was his face and he had on aviators and I'm pretty sure, maybe the shirt was purple, but Stewie Griffin had on aviators on my shirt best shirt I've ever worn obviously. I mean, that's the best

What did it did say anything on it? No, I think about it. I had a lot of Family Guy t-shirts Yeah, you did I had I like what did the shirt say nothing it just had Yeah, I could find the picture, but I might have to just send it to aunt after I don't need to see I don't need to see the photo Sure yeah, it was a pretty cool shirt now that I think about it. Yeah, I know you had that you had a lot of Serial t-shirts I have a question good, and this is a serious question. Oh, okay. Hold on good Is there a problem with me liking to match What does that mean?

Because like we were recording something the other day and Greg was just like Oh Hey man You're very matchy You're very matchy and I was like yeah I like to match and he's like what did he say something along the lines of just like it's not 2009 anymore

or something along those lines Something like it's time to grow up It's time to grow up Yeah yeah yeah What's the issue with matching because yeah, cuz you I think he was representing like your shirt your hat your shoes and maybe your pants Well, it's funny because he is a I like Greg sense of style. I think he has a good sense of style Uh-huh. I would also define his as matchy though It's matchy. I Mean isn't it's a pot kettle, right?

Yeah It's matchy. I mean isn't it supposed to- Pot! Kettle! Bang! Yeah. Yeah. I think that it's supposed to match in some capacity, right? Yeah, I don't know if it was just like a- Supposed to go together. If it was just like a I'm out. Because I understand I am not always up to date with fashion trends, music trends. You don't have to listen. You can just say everything. Okay. Fashion trends, music trends, music trends. You don't have to list things, you can just say everything. Okay.

Fashion trends, music trends, pop culture. Like recently, Lynch also told me, he's like, hey man, don't ever let anyone tell you that skinny jeans are out of style. I like my skinny jeans. I like my clothes to be a little form fitting. Do you wear skinny jeans? Yeah. Sometimes, yes I do.

And I have no problem with it. Sometimes you do have jeans that are like whoa well, that's because That daddy's put on a quit quite a little bit of thunder You know what I'm saying. You're just storming right now. It's it the the forecast is Frank. Here's the thing It's not you didn't put anything on you its power is what it is. That's what I think I mean I anything on you its power is what it is that's what I think I mean I'm I'm I it's also about how I feel right but you feel powerful I don't feel as powerful I can look exactly the same right and be active every day and I feel like I could move a brick house if I wanted yeah but it is the power right I don't consider

myself out of shape I consider myself powerful or not powerful. Right. Does that make sense? It does in Star Wars, I think. They talk a lot about power. Forceful? That's not a good word at all. That's not something I'm gonna call myself ever.

I'm very forceful! That's a very different podcast. Not us. Although your glasses indoors definitely seems to suggest that you're on that show. Okay, relax. I... With... Of... The force coursing through you is what you're referencing.

Right. Yeah. Pivoting. Mm-hmm. So there was a story that came out recently. Yeah. And I wanted to talk to you about it. There was a truck carrying...

$800,000 worth of dimes like the coins yeah and it's and it and it I didn't think it was eight hundred thousand hot women just absolute yeah it's not 2009 we don't refer to women as objects anymore 2009 we don't refer to women as objects anymore Well, we don't right other people might I'm sure it does happen yeah and It flipped over or it crashed and the money went everywhere. Okay, so thousand times my question for you is How much money if you saw this on the side of the road how much money can you get away with? How much money if you saw this on the side of the road how much money can you get away with?

And we're talking was it was it eight hundred thousand dollars worth of dimes, okay? So not eight hundred thousand dimes right eight hundred thousand dollars worth of dimes It's like the argument where it's like what's heavier a pound of feathers or a pound of brick So basically you're saying if there's eight hundred thousand dollars worth of dimes right here how much can I get away with yes is it just on my person well it's on the side of the road so okay but you have can I like funnel it into my car so you have you have 60 seconds okay 60 seconds of stuff 67 it's basically you load up and then you go to your car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, what do you think you can carry at a time?

Yeah, you're not over there like taking a bucket and throwing it in your backseat type of shit. Yeah. It's just what you can get. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if I walk over there, if I got a hoodie on... Hmph. Hoodie?

Oh! Neck? Well... You didn't fill up my hoodie! You did! That's what I'm thinking! Well, I was gonna say like I would take a piece of cloth

oh you know what I would do? take my pants off tie the bottom? but you're wearing jeans what does that mean? you can tie the bottom of your jeans Joey who are you? yeah well

you wear jeans more often than not or shorts and in that case you're triple fun yeah okay well how how many dimes can I hold let's do some I will shove some in my pockets duh I could probably get like close to a hundred bucks in my pocket right how much well how much I don't know how much a dime weighs forget about how much a dime weighs forget about how much a dime weighs I dimes are small I can probably fit like 10 dimes is a dollar for those of you guys that want to D for fighting baby are in the

United States I can fit like 60 $65 of dimes in a pocket for those of you guys that are not in the United States and may not be familiar with our currency system a dime 10 cents 10 cents 10 of those make a dollar a hundred cents make $1 So you're thinking you could shove your pockets and walk away with $100. How many is that six? How many? 650 dimes no what?

It would be a thousand How many is that? Six- how many? Six hundred and fifty dimes? No. What? How many dimes? It would be a thousand. Sixty five hundred dimes is Six hundred fifty dollars. Yeah. Right? Oh no, I'm saying sixty five Sixty five dollars, which times ten. Yeah, yeah, so six hundred and fifty dimes I could definitely put that in my pocket.

You think so? I think so. Bro I'm getting way more than that. In one pocket that in my pocket. You think so? I think so. Bro, I'm getting way more than that in one pocket in one pocket I'm first of all I wear deeper pockets cuz I'm a powerful man. I'm more powerful And it's gonna walk away with the most money cuz he's got I got pockets on my knees jokes on us the pockets on this boy I mean those shorts are you're walking away a multi-millionaire I'll tell you take off my shirt and then try to like Tie the holes of the thing and just shove mad time you're by the time you got those things

I said you have 60 seconds by the time you have those things tied you don't have the time You've never seen me tie a shirt hole tie it right now Tie a shirt right I've never done it exactly so technically you're right I've never seen you do it but you've also never seen you do it I think that if there's all those dimes I could probably walk away with like 600 bucks 600 bucks what do you think that weighs five pounds I haven't even thought of that no way cuz that diamonds also light they're not like they're thin and they're skinny like what are you what are you thinking bro I'm walking away with at least five grand yeah are you don't think so why they're

like I thought dude you have to carry five thousand dollars worth of dimes That's 50,000. I think I have shoes that I could fill with dimes socks I could fill with dimes I have pockets. I could fill with dimes. I have hands That I could fill with dimes I have all your hands bro. I could fill my mouth up with times who said I can't Frank you can fit $13 in your mouth I Would say we should try this that would be very dangerous let the piggy boys do that All right guys today. We're gonna see how many times we could shove in our mouth

How how many how much money you think you're walking away with with my pants? Yeah, Oh Multi-millionaire this guy I could probably get because I get all of it I probably get a thousand pounds I'm nope a thousand dollars thousand dollars we're Britain now yeah all right maybe five thousand was a bit of an exaggeration I imagine a bit first of all that's an exaggeration I get a thousand dollars all right I would say let's let's go by because they're light how much does a $100 worth of dimes weigh? Am I guessing? I have no idea. Let's guess, let's guess.

$100 worth of dimes, that's a thousand dimes, I would say that probably weighs like, four pounds. That's wrong. So you can't walk away with 400 pounds? It's not about the weight, it's just about like how much I could fit in a pocket like that you can't fit that many in a pocket. I could pick up all the... That's a good point. We didn't we didn't we didn't calculate volume here. I'm going purely... We? I'm going purely... I did. I'm going purely based off of weight. I don't care about volume. I can carry a lot more dimes than I could like walk away in that situation. You don't have that many pockets. Those people that pay

for like parking tickets and like buckets of coins And shit like that. Yeah, I think how much is it wait? How much is a hundred dollars worth of dimes I? Would say like a quarter of a pound Bro, it's that's in all right all right a fucking a at most a pound. I'm actually gonna change my answer to like 10 pounds You think you can get 10 pounds worth of no? I think that a hundred dollars worth of dimes probably weighs somewhere from 8 to 10 pounds, bro They're small. They're the smallest coin, but it's a thousand of them. Yeah, but they're small in their light How much does it weigh it weighs five pounds a?

Quarter of a pound okay, what do you think of their made out of air it'll get there yeah so so we saw a hundred dollars is five pounds oh dude I am walking away with so your five thousand dollars would be 250 pounds five thousand dollars 250 pounds yeah I could do that okay are you 250 pounds bro I can do that I got a 1000% do that. Bro that's carrying a Watch this. Big guy. Watch this. Draped all over your body. Watch this. 100 pounds on my shoulders Like I could squat you could squat 100 pounds. How you what do you mean on your shoulders like how would you get dimes on your shoulders? I'll stack them.

What are you talking about? Let's say I have like a like if I just have like a sack in my car, I could put it on my shoulder. Your Santa Claus? Sure. I could put that on my shoulders. And then it's another 150 pounds. 75 in a bucket, 75 in a bucket.

You can't deadlift 75 pounds on each hand. Frank, I'll throw it against the ceiling if I want to. That's what I'm saying I Think I could walk away with a couple grand. It's not about weight It's about like first of all you're just changing the rules as we go now you have buckets Now you could just fill up two buckets like that would take all right. You're right. You're right You're right What am I if we're wearing what we're wearing right now if we're wearing what we're wearing right now, you're in trouble I'm in huge disarray you're in a big ol fat probably

and still has he's gotten more he does have any time he walks in we should we should do like a line on how many pockets today set the line every day at like every day you know or no just my numbers three and a half five and a half. Yeah I would say right like this. I'd probably get like Not that much, dude. I probably get like Maybe a hundred fifty bucks Because I got Like this I have pockets oh those look deep though, and you have butts there I see a zipper pocket in there where there's a zip is there no, okay?

Oh There is a little like you got it down the leg long. It doesn't matter that helps dude I can fit four bucks in there Maybe I mean four bucks baby, and then if I could take my shoes off and carry my shoes I can do that and your socks babe and socks and socks you catch me on a day where I'm wearing loafers and flowy pants yeah we got a problem I can't carry that many times though I think I get $500 realistically I think how are you carrying $500 I always wear hats I always

wear hats you can't have this I don't have shoes. That's a problem That is right. You do not you are wearing sandals flip-flops I think I do it I take this off tie it together the arms I get all right thousand dimes the fuck yeah Yeah, if you were able to tie that together. Yeah, oh if I was wearing a turtleneck if I had prep time I'd wear the right clothes turtleneck Turtleneck you joggers way to a recital and then a truck flipped over all these time. I'd wear Construction boots the sketch or boots bring those back. No I wear rain boots Just get all galoshes sure. What's that? Those are rain boots or like waiters. What if I were waiters?

I don't even know what that is. Waiters are like people that like... Yeah they are. Like the people that uh... Like they fish and they like stand in the water. And they have that rubber like overalls. The cranberry field guys. Yes, yes, in the bogs. Fill that shit up. Overalls is a good answer. Overalls is a great answer.

No, but waiters are smart because the boots are built in. Yeah. The boots are built in so wear waders Yeah, but if you fill that up you can't move It's rubber you ever go to someone's house and have all this change in it in a giant thing like if you can move it It's yours, and you can't move it. Oh, I've tap it to me. I once I had I at Ralph's house Didn't you guys have one of those like a five gallon water jug where it was like a ton of change?

It was like a water jug like that that Ralph had, I think it was made out of glass. Five gallon filled. And then it was like, his dad was like, if you can move it, it's yours. I was like, it was in the basement, bro. Don't give me that challenge because I'll move it and then you're gonna owe me the money.

Bro, fill up a fucking five gallon jug with coins. The heaviest coins you could think I'm moving it moving in what capacity shift it tilt it get it from a to b I could do it you're just gonna have to I don't know why that made me the heaviest cause you could think we have choices of four maybe like I'm gorgeous nickels nickels bro get the fuck out of here. Pennies? What a bitch ass coin. Pennies are cooler than nickels. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, dollars, half dollars. Half dollars. Half dollars are cool. Nickels bro. Dumb.

Half dollars are cool because they were the only one I could fit in my eye. And like, go like that, like I was wearing a monocle. You, what a diamond? What do you put a half a half dollar half dollar? Yeah, I yes Okay, they were big too. Remember the size of those bitches. Yeah, I mean I haven't seen one in a long time Who's on that JFK? I think JFK. Yeah John Jacob's on those. Yeah, John fake up King libra Schmidt Frederick, I believe but I don't know Fitz Fitzgerald is his name. John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Yeah. Yeah. Junior? Was he junior? Yeah JFK Jr. Bro. Who is the one that that was the president?

JFK Jr.? That's a good question now that I'm thinking about it. Because I know RFK Jr. Jr. wasn't no. It was just- if K was the president and then he had his sting You know gotten rid of bang bang. Yeah, that was that was something I Have a I have a half dollar that my grandmother I I don't I can't I can't go I've watched the assassination frame by frame Multiple times the Zapruder film as it's called I have seen that ooh, and we drove by it

Did we drive by it in Dallas? I drove over the spot where he was shot. Oh really yep when when we were in Dallas, but like were we all in the car or Was there two cars? You know what it might have you know what it might have been because remember I went and got a haircut and then you guys went to that somewhere and then the mall after and I met you at the mall? Yeah, I don't think you were with us to be honest with you. I just have to say that's the best fucking haircut I've gotten in my entire life. In Dallas? In Dallas, Texas.

Wow. And technically it was outside of Dallas. I don't remember. What was the name of that area? Arlington maybe? Nope. I don't know. It was not Arlington. I don't know, bro. I've been there once. Yeah, all right, but I drove over the X and I was like But I can't I can't get into conspiracies I just I don't have the time for it dude I love it, but we do have some more ads This is a long episode mama's home. Okay, here we go. ZocDoc, how you doing? Guys, if you want to find some doctors appointments, you're

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frank I love that you saw that because I know you bought that at Target no this is way pre-target. I mean you could still shop at Target. No, I must I must have gotten it from like you know That store that used to be in the mall that carried all those graphic tees of pexon No, no, no It was like not a name-brand store where it was like you can get like the cookie monster tea And then it was one that says like the man the myth the legend and point out your penis and it pointed out your dick

Do you remember there was a guy who came to one of our shows and it said? Like Frank Alvarez Joe Santagato or opposite. I don't know. No what a weird picture that maybe I don't remember I don't know what it means. I meant to ask. Yeah, what the hell does that mean? I don't know First of all, yeah, I think we could agree Hold on What do we agree on? Your face would be the face Why you got a great face? I like my face, but like you're the money-making face

You think my face is better than your face Yeah Because I don't say that you keep up with it more sometimes my face yeah what does that mean like you you groom and shave more you're getting haircuts more frequently mm-hmm I haven't gotten a haircut since October you got a great face I like my face your hairline well that's crazy all right so if we could put together the ideal face between our faces. Okay? Yeah yeah. It's gonna be your facial hair. We can agree to that.

Banana's facial hair. Okay. I'll take it but I don't know if that's even okay. My bottom lip. What? I thought I was gonna... You have a good one but your top lip is stronger than my bottom lip. My top lip is better than your top lip. Way better than my top lip. Yeah, okay. Okay. Whose eyes? Whose eyes? I think I have good eyes. You have great eyes, Joey. You have blue eyes, dude.

Or like, hazel. Your hairline and hair... Duh. I'm sorry. Can I have this? Can I have this? Frank, take it. How about this? I'll take the hairline and the hair, give me your hair color. You don't like your hair color? I like my hair color.

Wait, is it black, yours is? Well, technically no hair color is naturally black, it's just dark brown. But like, the salt and pepper you got going on, you know it's working. You're so horny for that. Horny is a weird word. Who's got better ears? I don't even know what my ears look like. Who's got better ears, Ant? Look at know what my ears look like He's got better ears and look at me dead on Frankie dead on

Yeah, why why did on well because I gotta see it for like how wide they are as well So now we know how judge bases ears yeah Look at me Joe. I Think Frankie has better ears. Okay, so we got Frank don't hate that Frank's hair and hairline Frank's ears Frank's bottom lip Joe's top lip Joe's eyes Yeah, what can we how do we feel about my eyebrows and nose? I think I think I think remember what I was saying powerful before yeah I think my nose carries quite a bit of power and strength. I don't feel any way.

Becca tells me that all the time. She's like, I love your nose. And I've always I've been fine with it. But now that my wife likes it, I'm great with it. Okay. You know, she's instilled confidence in you. That's the way it works, baby. Right. Marry someone that brings you up. Yeah. My nose. Yeah. You're cool with that. Cool. I don't feel any way about my nose.

I think we're going to I'm going to have to take eyebrows from you though. For me from you. Oh, like your gonna have to take eyebrows from you though. From me? From you. Oh, like your eyebrows are nicer, but can you do this? Ooh. Ooh. What is that? What is that? What is that?

What? Watch, watch, watch. Well, can you do that? Both, bitch. Nope. No, I can't. It depends, honestly, it depends on the style style if we're talking early 2000s super skinny Rachel Weiss in the mummy eyebrows you win. I don't even know that I don't even know

You know what about compromise his eyebrows your eyebrow dexterity? Oh? We're getting into dexterity who's Dexter know what that means That oh my movement. Yeah, so I'm moving an emote Ability okay. I'm fine with that. Yeah, okay, so I Need someone who animates the show to make to make this okay, whose neck? Cuz I got a big one, and I don't know if that's good or bad. What size is your neck? Cuz I got a big one, and I don't know if that's good or bad. What size is your neck? It's at like an 18 right now. What yeah, dude. No it is I think so oh

Well last I got last I got fitted for a shirt. It was like 18 or maybe 17 and a half I'm 16 and a half. I think you have a baby neck dude. Well mine I feel like mine's so thick maybe you should have a small head well you do you work out your traps quite a bit I have it oh I used to when I was younger okay I think man I mean who's who who is the judge of this and about what our neck who's neck turns you on more a facial hair excluded wait why are we doing turning him on more why why is that and and now it's probably Joe's neck but wait but wait my neck has built in strangulation defenses watch this someone comes to strangle me oh that's

pretty good can't strangle that no but that's that's pretty good too look at this look at that I can do that I could also at this look at that. I can do that. I could also do this What was that I can move my throat It's a crazy thing to say you know we you know we need that skill for the for the setup Yeah, just like okay Joe's question you see it. Do you have to first of all that's gross? Okay, do you have back dimples I? Don't know honestly caught myself in the mirror, and I got him The internet's going wild I like your feeder everywhere you got back dimples I was like walking by and have a mirror like this. Oh, and I looked I was like

That's crazy. I got a little back dimple. That's crazy. Like two of them. I might. I don't know. I'll have to ask Becca. Turn around, let's see your- I'm not gonna open it up. I'm not gonna show- If I do have back dimples, they're for one person only, bitch. And it ain't Joe Sanna-gado. Pfft.

I'm gonna see them. That's crazy. I'm gonna see those back dimples. That's- You got back dimples? No. I don't think so. You're so confident! No! I have no idea.

Uh, alright. Someone build that face, confident. No, I have no idea. Someone build that face though. Build that face. Skin tone. Come on. Yeah, yeah. No, you understand. I'm just saying we want to give all the information.

Tongue? Tongue? My tongue, here's the thing. My tongue is often, the other day we're recording middle Greg goes why is your tongue so green I Had some big league chew on the way to the office sue me it wasn't that it was green it was that it was like a like You're you have a big ass crack in the middle of your mouth Unlike your tongue. Yeah, I thought you were talking is that? You have a big ass crack in the middle of your mouth. Unlike your tongue.

I thought you were talking about my ass crack. I was like, what? No, no, no, no, no. In your tongue, you have a big ridge. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Someone build that face.

Yeah, build the face. Build the face. I think it's not a bad face. It'd be so funny to see that. Someone's gonna do it, and we're gonna be mortified. Maybe Manu can do it, who knows. Building our perfect face? Building the perfect face is a... that's a toughie.

You know? Can you just name the episode? Well, that came at the very end. I imagine we wouldn't name it that, because people would be like, where do they talk about this? Yeah, I don't know. Well, they have to wait to find out. It's obviously gonna be about the tour dates though yeah okay sure he's already forgotten that's happening yeah yeah yeah which by the way

I don't know that we're here again if you want to enjoy a sloppy stinky rack of ribs in a diaper yeah come on down to Frank's and Dipes Barbecue and is that crap no barbecue sauce Is that a crap blowout in that diaper? No, it's the rack of ribs rib meat shoved into a hot dog bun I've seen that I've seen that where they put a rib in there with like a bone. Bro! You ever see a guy- I know who you're talking about. Yeah! If it doesn't slide off it's

free? Well no, yes obviously that guy. But no there was one where it's like there's a sandwich and it's wrapped up in aluminum foil and there's a bone sticking out of it. And he yanks that. And he just goes. And then you open it. It's a beautiful sandwich. I Love say I have to say I'm into all types of cuisines. I don't know if I get Excited for any food more than I do just just like sloppy fucking disgusting barbecue Yeah, and like if I have a squirt bottle ever I'll let you know right now as a society. Here's a warning to all cooks out there.

The moment we start doing elevated barbecue, like you try to open like a fine dining barbecue restaurant. I'm going to burn your place to the ground. That's crazy. Yeah, I understand. But like if I see someone with like a white guy with like gauges in Brooklyn and he's just like, you know, elevated. You know what I'm saying? Like, listen up guys, we're doing fine dining barbecue. Can't.

You better hope those windows are bulletproof. Because I'm sending a Molotov cocktail at Fourth Room, OK? What would be the point of it being bulletproof? I guess that would stop a Molotov cocktail. If it could stop bullets, I imagine it could stop a cocktail. Can we make a Molotov cocktail? Is that legal? Can we just make one?

No. Why not? Because it's dangerous. Who's stopping you? Oh, yeah. Who's stopping you? Who's stopping you? Good ol' Uncle Sam I imagine is stopping you. Hypothetically, right? This is a great question. It's not like building a bomb. That clearly is the weird fucking demonetized as shit now.

After me saying that. But like, if that I know is illegal. But like, can I just put what is it like alcohol a rag in a bottle I think technically good technically it would be considered an improvised explosive device an IED which is you can't answer that Sam you can't make that what if I just wanted to like make one to throw at my fireplace to like I imagine like make one to throw at my fireplace to like turn it off i imagine like no one's going to police that unless you're like in like a an area where wildfires are prevalent bro if i get like an upstate house one day and there's

an outdoor fireplace i'm just gonna make a molotov cocktail and just well set the fire the the throwing it is the the spreading of it is the issue. You would have to throw this thing. It's in a concrete. It's in a concrete. Yeah, but Joey you don't think stuff sprays back at the person once it hits? Of course it does. So how far back are you gonna be with this fucking incredible aim that you have? Which you and I both know you don't have great aim. What the? We both don't know that. I have fantastic aim, Frank.

With a Molotov cocktail? I've never tried to throw one. great aim what do we both don't know that I have fantastic game Frank with a Molotov cocktail I've never tried to throw one first of all I think it is illegal yeah I think it might be too which sucks cuz they seem fun yeah honestly I think that we're you know hold on yeah I think this might exist already so I'm not even going to say it. You've had progressively worse... I don't know why every time you're like, I have a business idea and it's the most outlandish thing I've ever heard. Joey, I think you understand as Big Business Joe that sometimes it's not about having the great idea.

It's about the ethos. The ethos, exactly. So like, you know how many how many times you think bill gates had to go Through Microsoft before he came up with Microsoft. You know what I'm saying probably like twice I don't think he ever landed on like diaper barbecue and then got to Microsoft. I don't think that's the Never know I mean you never knew you only hear what do they say you only hear about the successes you don't see the failures They scream my failures failures and they whisper my Accomplishments, I don't know whatever it is. You know whatever whatever you know a high school quote like oh Oh your yearbook quote. Oh, I don't remember it. Do you did you have I remember mine? Yeah, this should be good

You're gonna hate it. It's gonna be what Batman saying something no no well somehow not as bad it was it was screw chasing my dreams I'm gonna find out where they'll be in 10 years and meet up with them then what that's chasing your dreams what did you mean? screw chasing my dreams I'm gonna go get them in 10 years bro that's chasing your dreams I'm paraphrasing, I don't think

technically that's not chasing, chasing is you're always keeping up with it I'm just saying like yo dreams where are you gonna be in 10 years I'll see you then that's kinda what happened that's exactly what happened that is exactly what happened that is exactly what happened that's insane holy shit that's crazy

mine was probably horrendous yours was probably like a mac miller quote and then like an emoji that you somehow got in there but the emoji was like or like a vinyl record emoji or something like that i don't even know I wish I know. Joey's was probably... Wait do we have that? Joey's was probably just like whatever

That's probably what it was. Sick joke. Ants was probably like the more pockets the better. Because we went to the same high school But obviously different years you're 11. I'm 33 You're right, but did you guys have like superlatives by the time you left because we didn't have that what's that work like most likely to yeah we had that did you but it was like it was because you guys went to a Catholic school so it was just like everyone's most likely to fall into Corinthians 16 8 they didn't give it to us because they were like oh no people are gonna get because it's like you know like one of the seven deadly sins like whatever it is or yours were just

like as voted by the the staff sexiest oh all right no they yeah I got you guys got it yeah they gave the cores a list and you voted on like a predetermined also everyone got one. Yeah. Yeah. So the way that ours did, I actually, my senior year, I counted the votes with my friend. And it was, there was like an initial round of voting. So like write-ins and then of those write-ins, you take the two most popular or four most popular in some cases, and then you distribute it again for another round of voting. Bro, people at our school campaigned like for like best dress

yes dude like what we best dressed like I swear to God it was like a thing I'll tell you what there's a surefire way to get me to not know for you and it's that way yeah yeah what did you win any there wasn't any for my oh did you win any no okay they were loser Yeah loser all right even not even most likely to succeed No, I had the valedictorian in my core. Oh And they always yeah, they always win it By the time the voting comes out they always know who's gonna be the valedictorian stuff. Were you a good student?

I was great student. What's great? fantastic numbers Numbers numbers greats then what's great fantastic numbers numbers numbers like a plus all right baby I said numbers he said a plus so different school grading might be different we had we had like GPAs like that I think it was a GPA it was on like a grade point not a great point average that's GPA 99 like you had like a 99 average or something. Oh yeah, 97. Damn dude. I didn't have that. My senior year I had a 101.3 average.

I crushed that shit. Wow. Did you win valedictorian? I did not win valedictorian. Were you like in the MVP voting? I don't think I was. It was like the girl that won in our year was like all four years averaged like a rush 15 or something like what is what is number yeah they take Italian or language and you get extra credit yeah well and then it was literally like if they get extra

credit they can factor that in that's horseshit well they need to one because they need to they need to go over 100 because like if there's a cap and five people get a hundred How are you gonna dictate who wins fight to the death? Okay? Alright, I did get a hundred and twenty in Italian that kind of helped me out. What do you speak Italian like that? No What was your best 120 yeah, well, that was your dad. So obviously yeah, I was your best. What was your life Joey and be honest lunch? No, Jim. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. It was phys ed and I was in English. Oh Okay. Yeah, you're you're well spoken. I can see that. Absolutely, but

Like every science besides earth science rocks Yeah, you know what I mean? mean yeah yeah chemistry and bio my first year did you guys do that too yep yeah absolutely like my teacher did me a favor by not putting me in summer school yeah dude I remember the the year that was really tough for the people in our like when I was in there was chemistry yeah and physics a lot of people struggled with physics physics I don't think I was like wait yeah you know my physics wasn't bad bio and chem was horrific okay I can see that physics and math for me science and math what was your worst subject history oh boy do I hate history I did well in it because like it was a station 2010 it was like I if

you're cool so I had a deal our I don't know if he's still alive I hope he is he was a really nice guy really cool guy old he was I was up there probably not up there but like he was there you know he's dead he was the coach of the basketball team he's probably dead as fuck I don't Jesus Christ dude but he gave me 15 points of extra credit every marking period because I would write The lesson on the board in the morning, so he's like come into class every day It was my first period is that come into class every day ten minutes early Write the bullet points on the board, and I'll give you 15 15 points every marking period What's 15 points like if you've got an 80, you're 95?

Yes. Oh my god. Is that even legal? That's insane! Bro, it was high school in the 2010s. They didn't dig, they did whatever the fuck they want. That's crazy. Yeah, dude. Yeah. And that was a wild deal. It also helped that my mom was a very popular person at my high school. Not only that, but was it passing? I like earned my grades, but like... Was it passing in your school like 55 it was originally like

65 and then I think they had to lower just 55 Passing is 55 this guy's willing to give you 15 Listen dog. I was cool like yeah, I was like. I don't think you realize you were that cool You're showing up to class 10 minutes early. Well, no- Hahahaha God damn it. I was saying, like, I don't think you realize how cool I was with the teachers and staff in my school. When I came to your school that one time, you're like the mayor, dude.

Like, it's getting to everybody. But also, not only because, like, and I say this a lot, like, my mom worked there. Yeah. But, like, I was also good as a student, you know what I mean? Like, if my mom worked there and I was a was also good as a student you know what I mean like if my mom worked there and I was a piece of shit they'd be like fuck this kid but even before that school I feel like in your other school it was still like that you were cool with all the teachers I was cool with them I actually spoke to my buddy the other day about it I was cool with them but like I

wasn't as good of a student so people Like basically like it was like a give-and-take a little bit, but what are you gonna do? Geez Listen we're gonna run over these dates one more time the guys again tomorrow at noon, okay, noon Eastern, 12 p.m. Eastern, pre-sale starts with the code Basement. Say what tomorrow is. Tomorrow is May 13th. May 13th, pre-sale code Basement at thebasemeyard.com. You can get all the tickets. St. Louis, June 28th, Kansas City is gonna be around there too, possibly the 27th I would say. San Diego July 10th and 11th.

San Francisco July 12th. Atlantic City July 18th. Minneapolis July 24th. Milwaukee July 25th. Chicago July 26th. Toronto August 9th. Detroit oh Toronto August 6th. Detroit August 9th. Phoenix August 28th. Vegas Labor Day weekend. Columbus September 18th. Pittsburgh September 20th. Philly on September 27th. South Florida October 16th. Orlando October 17th. Tampa October 19th. DC October 23rd. Boston November 6th. And New York City November 13th. Okay again May 13th. Pre-sale code is basement at thebasementyard.com. General sale which just means that you don't need codes at that point will be May 16th also at thebasementyard.com. Come out to the shows like I said it's

gonna be a brand new show. It's a lot of fun. We like workshopped some stuff over in the UK and we're very excited about where the show is and bringing it back to the States. so hopefully we see you guys out there We're really excited, and thank you for all the support. Yeah, all right. We'll see you guys Later see you next time. Oh, that was a big one