The Basement Yard - #503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

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Welcome back to the bas- BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS Welcome back to the basement yard, I'm here with Frank.

What you suckin' on over there, Frank? What you slurping on, Frank? Cause you're slurping over there. It's tea, baby. You know how I be. Big tea boy. Is that- that means something to you. Trans. Oh! Well I'm not oh I'm not

support love it, but not me personally All right, okay Yeah, yeah, I guess he T. E. A. We knew what you meant Careful some people might not it's true, but I don't want it. You know it is what it is We're gonna skip it over that just dance around. How you doing? I'm doing well Can I ask you a question looking up and down get ahead? How much is that shirt I? Don't know was it too much. Yeah, what's the most you've paid for a t-shirt a t-shirt t-shirt

I mean we know the polo the Gucci polo. We know about Gucci polo. I donated yes, which is crazy What was I gonna do with it? Well hand it down I get it, but like I Don't know. I don't know. I mean, you know how I feel I I I save a lot of I donate a lot of clothes and I save a lot for my kids, right? So some of the shirts that like nicer like shirts like this He saves him for their kids so he can they can get them one day and then donate them It's funny because most of the stuff that I have for my kids is like graphic tees

Yeah, because that stuff always comes back around you know what I'm saying like and think about it graphic tees in the 90s I mean big now Are they yeah, there's a whole cup like companies like culture kings and people that like sell Gravially to like us they're like vintage like vintage yeah I mean us is like the people we were a kid at that point in time that's like us wearing like a cheers shirt or something you know what I mean bro that's a big market like vintage like that bro I ever tell you I looked up so those you guys that may not know this young Jeezy the rapper hey crazy that you did the accent accent you dressed up like him

for Halloween one year right I did not dress up like young Jeezy but you however had the same closet as him yeah so apparently I had a shirt from him that was a big it was an all-black shirt and it had a like a glitter printed on snowman and it said I got that snowman hindsight I now understand it was referencing cocaine yeah and I will go as far to say that Frank we knew I might have you knew that it was I probably knew but like you back then thought cocaine and selling drugs was so cool not cool for you to do no no but it was like yeah sick well because I was

big pimp because you know what I mean you're like I'm a big pimp who slangs cocaine yeah and then your mom you know not fair I'm not I was I mean that's this I mean I probably here's probably what happened I like 101 I like that's great so I like young GZ the rapper yeah I went and bought the shirt from the place that I went and bought my graphic like you know large tees mm-hmm you know and then after I learned that it was probably that I like then learned it was about cocaine right that right I then wore it even more frequently to feel cooler why are we talking about young Jeezy because I went to look up I had that shirt and I went to go look up to buy it and it's

expensive now it was like 200 bucks for like an XL shirt. $200 for an I got that snow? I got that snowman shirt but like no I didn't no I didn't buy it. Frank if you walked in here with that t-shirt. I would be Excited like I was low as an adult father Wear a shirt about doing coke First of all your kids will not know what it means they will eventually be like daddy What is that no one's asking you to wear it to the family barbecue? They're asking me to wear it on the internet where it will be forever I'd rather wear to the family barbecue also you like, I can't be a dad doing...

You- I saw- This morning, I opened up TikTok, there's a picture of you... Playing with fucking whatever those are. What do you think you want your kids seeing you do more often? Playing with toys or referencing cocaine on a shirt? Come on! Well, first of all, I'm not asking you to snort cocaine. I once went to a family gathering the person shall remain nameless and someone not ironically like seriously because they thought it was a sick shirt showed up

wearing a shirt that was like it said like strippers and cocaine or something like that that's it was it an ampersand I don't know I apparently it's like a brand or something maybe maybe I'm brand is ampersand? I don't know. Apparently it's like a brand or something. Maybe, maybe a brand is strippers and cocaine. I don't know if it's strippers and cocaine. Like specifically, it might be like hookers and cocaine. Just, it's a variation of a lady of the night. Yeah.

And, and drugs. And drugs in powder form. Right. Just, you know, you could put them together however you choose. Right. But yeah, dude. so my kids are gonna inherit shirts that might be worth like three four hundred dollars in a couple years They're not going to sell them. I know They'll hold on to them and then what they gain more value, but you but you're not gonna sell it

I I'm gonna give it to my kids. I'm aware of that, but you're are they gonna sell it no Exactly, so what about you matter. I don't know I just want my kids to open up, and I'll be like you know I'm like a 55 year old man, and I'm just like these are shirts from when I was 18 here These are for you, and they go whoa Yeah, it's gonna go exactly like that. Is that a daredevil logo? It is yes correct. No way frosted flake shirt. That's so sick, and you're like that is that a daredevil logo it is yes correct no way frosted flake shirt that's so sick and you're like that careful I bought that for $25 that's 28

hey careful with that spider-man tee it's vintage it's a collector's item now yeah what have you saved for your potential children one day nothing nothing but money which is hindsight a good idea Nothing said it nothing, but money No, you know I don't have that yet where I have like a sentimental attachment to like Material things are like items or something like I I understand it I'm sure and I know that there will be times in my life where I will have sentimental stuff that I probably keep, but I don't know. It's hard to imagine. Like now I'm getting closer to the idea of like, okay, I get it, but like five years ago, I was like, I don't, there's nothing in my life.

Whenever someone would ask you like, what's the first thing you would grab or like what's the three things that you would grab if there was a fire in your apartment my mind would just go to like what's the most expensive stuff so it's easy to replace it was never like oh there's this something that's really important to me like a pen or some shit crazy crazy I've been collecting things meaningful to me my whole life I know I guess you're just you don't care about stuff I mean I wouldn't say that I just think that you I think the obvious answer is the most important thing you would grab is Charlie.

Oh, we're not counting humans and pets. Like how you said it with humans. I thought you were gonna go, we're not counting people. I was gonna say, then that dog died. No, yeah. I just, I think like there's something, like I always look at like, even like some like old shoes that I have,

I'll be like, wow, this will be cool cool like seeing my kids like run around in them one day Being like that was daddy's, but do you think they will do that? I think what certain stuff they will like obviously old shoes Yeah, like shoes and socks and stuff like I think they will socks you're gonna give your kids your old socks Frank they're not gonna wear those I I Mean me that here's my socks. No, it's not like ones that I currently wear It's like socks that I had previously worn that I saved for them Yeah, no, that's what I'm talking about

That you have old song. I don't wear them all the time now there and they're in storage I think they could be in the Smithsonian protected. It wouldn't matter old socks that you wore What is your what is your attachment to these socks? Some of them just have a story to them, like when I got them, what they are. Is there one that stands out, like here's a story about these pair of socks that I can't wait to pass on? Not at the moment, but I'm hoping that something will come to me before, and like if I see them, you know how they say you need to feel the energy of something when you hold it, and it's just like, oh! Like you know you're going to name your baby, and then you hold it and you're like, oh, this is the name.

Yeah, exactly. But do you feel that way about your old socks? Well, yeah. Right. I have, just so you're in agreement, Becca also feels that I shouldn't have a bin full of socks saved for our kids. Bin?

How many pairs of socks? How many pairs of socks are just like in your house that are yours? Mine? At least at least 200. 200? I would say. For yourself? Frank, do you have a sock drawer? Yep. Is it just socks in there? Yep. Do you have a sock drawer with just socks? Socks and underwear. Yeah. Oh, I have an underwear drawer and then so

it's mine is... Hold on. How many pairs of... Let me ask you on how many pairs of let me ask you how many pairs of underwear do you currently have in rotation maybe like 30 or 40 30 or 40 too much how many do you have 13 that's a normal answer I was gonna say anywhere from 13 to like 20 and I only really get to like nine of them. Oh All right, 40 40 pairs of underwear So I get why women have between like what I have and then what's in storage women have an unbelievable amount of underwear But like it's in their ass, bro It's in their ass like you need a lot because you those things are like they're cool and colorful and it's like this one's lazy

Oh, shut up bitch. I got some cool and colorful. I'm sorry. I bitched again Yeah, that's a cool and colorful underwear, too I get that but it's less of an accessory for men in my opinion That is true. That is we don't like they've got matching sets and like that looks nice. We don't because yeah Well, there's no there's no fucking we don't have a bra No, yeah, well like what are we gonna? Well like there's no what's it called? Like what you get a Victoria's Secret. What's it called again? It's the word is escaping me penis. No, that's not what you get there lingerie Oh, really men's lingerie. You know what I mean like that's a big industry so

That's why women have like cooler like underwears and stuff. I I mean, I don't I guess now that you guys are years of underwears. I would say maybe 30 That's so crazy. But also I never run out. So like I never I'm never like, oh my god I don't run out. I mean you must if you only wear nine. Oh, you only have I'm sorry You I thought you saying you only I have I have like a top five that if they're clean, I'll go out of my way to wear those. So like, if they're not clean though, then I go to the other ones, but then I'll do laundry.

Yeah, I just- But like, do you wear 40 or 30 rather? Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes I'm a little late on- Always flipping them around. I'm wearing, you know, one per day and I do laundry. Didn't you switch to like tidy whiteys too? No, see, this is why you have to be careful with what you say. I have not switched to tidy whitey's I

Accidentally bought underwear, but you wore them Yeah, they're very comfortable. Yeah, and they're not white and they were gray and I have a gray and a blue The gray is crazy gray and blue blue's fine. Why is gray crazy? Good leave evidence. Of what? Crap. Is that what you're worried about? Anything, I mean, it's a- Can I ask you a serious question? You've got two holes with stuff- What, you think I'm just like leaking piss out of my pee-pee? Frank, you're a human- you're a human being, okay? Everyone's penis has deceived

them one day, okay? Fair, fair, fair okay fair fair fair fair fair fair I did it yesterday can I ask you a serious question yes and I know this might be a little gross for some people legit yeah when's the last time you had a skid mark in any form of underwear you've worn in the last 365 days it's disgusting I know that's gross but it's not every day I mean it's not like gross control your butthole dude it's I know that's gross, but it's not every day. I mean it's not like gross control your butthole dude It's I know I mean what it actually honestly how accidents what like I oh like you you play you you flew too close to The Sun no well that did happen to when I had fucking food poisoning Yeah, okay, that was fucking crazy too close to the Sun and he was like

well, no well yeah, I had food poisoning and I was just like And he was like, oh, oh, oh. Well, no. Well, yeah, I had food poisoning. And I was just like literally dying. I had a neurovirus. And I was just like shitting every box. Neurovirus are food poisoning. There are holes in this story.

Just like apparently in your penis. Apparently it's crazy. If we all have one. We all have one. We need that. We need the hole. But yeah, just like an accident, you know? Or like just like a little.

I'm not saying I'm shitting my pants, and I'm like I got I mean in theory If you have skid marks you're shitting your pants. Why wouldn't you wear white underwear though? Because I am an adult male because but like also because like bro just in case you know honestly And if I was younger not me I I couldn't tell you the last time there was like something I just went like You know I mean it's it's not it's it's like having car insurance No, one of those is required by law. No, so what it's like having car insurance to me because it's like I'm not saying that Because I have car I'm getting car insurance because I get into accidents all the time It's just in the event of an accident. I'm not saying that because I have car, I'm getting car insurance because I get into accidents all the time.

It's just in the event of an accident, I'm covered. So I'm not going to wear white, I'm not going to wear gray, I'm going to wear dark colors just in case there's an accident. Then there's nothing crazy going on. I guess, I guess. I'm, you're working really hard to get me to follow you there. And you know what? That's fine.

I just, I don't see. Honestly, do yourself a favor. Go out and pop Go out and buy yourself underwear like legit like underwear You know what I'm talking about whitey's not doesn't need to be white it could be any color you want Wear it and tell me like it's not kind of fire I'll be honest with you. I'm over this Why'd you do this? Because like they come up around the thighs Those are whites

No, they- you're just- there's more- they don't need to be white, Joey I'm just saying like, tidy- Tidy whitey, it could be tidy blueys Sure, sure, sure You know what I'm saying? Those to me are tidy whitey is like the shape Oh, like granny panties is like the term? For women

Yeah, alright, just tidies Okay Just call them tidies Go out and buy yourself tidies and tell me that they aren't kind of superior Let me ask you this or actually now let me ask you anything put that finger or maybe I'm am I telling you something? Do you know I'm asking do you think? Granny panties would be comfortable to wear bro. We've we spoke about this recently if I was a woman No, no, no, I'm saying as a man right now if you put on a pair of granny panties

Do you think it'd be what's granny panties if not tighties just thinner, but also the material? But I just said thinner. I just beat the fuck out of me that material. I said I said that thinner No, no, no, it's like a am I crazy when I'm thinking of a granny panty I'm thinking something like shiny like silk or like like some shit. Oh, no, that's just like- You got silk underwear? Uh, no. No, I don't. In all those 40, you don't have one pair of silk? Oh, fucking forgive me, giant cock!

I forgot about that! No, I- I do not have any silk. I have like a silk, like- I'm pretty sure it's silk smoking jacket Why is it like it's crazy? I don't have silk underwear I don't have I don't have silk underwear. I have a silk smoke. What is a smoking jacket? Yeah, I think it's exactly what it sounds like it's meant to be smoked in But what do you? What does it look like like a robe you kind of it kind of looks like pajamas? Okay, it kind of just looks like put like I have a set. It's the pants and there's smoking pants

I'll wear one day silk. I think they are silk. They're like a shiny layer. They're shiny. It's good Oh, yeah, it does. Yeah, yeah, I'll wear them in one day silk hot I've heard that silk under the under heat doesn't do well because I remember I looked into getting a silk shirt for Radio City Frank now that this moment has passed. Okay now Go ahead. I'll do it you got it go go go Frankie when we were doing Radio City he's like oh we gotta wear something nice or whatever and then he showed me this shirt and I was like oh you're gonna get that and he's like yeah I'm thinking about it he's like it's super expensive or whatever it's Radio City blah blah blah

Frank I didn't say this at the time but that is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen in a while. No way Frank It is worse than the polo It is it's infinitely worse. It's louder. I Frank it is a flashbang. Okay, you would have fucking deafened the audience with this I I almost would have probably been like I don't know that you should wear that Shoot can we pull a picture of it? I mean yeah, if you can find it. I don't what's well Let's start here. Just go to the Versace website You know what anyone who's familiar with the Versace just go to the way those underwear

You know what anyone who's familiar with the Savers achieve just go to the way those underwear It's crazy sad carp is here, dude What am I I just scroll to men's shirts? While he gets that up type Let me defend myself okay really quick Where am I going it wasn't those you're getting closer. It's a black Keep going that's close keep going. Oh, that's all they got they might have removed On the right yes this yes, that's not black first of all first of all Wow, the shirt that he was going to wear. Wow. Let's read off the price.

Yeah, uh... It's a couple bucks. Was it this one or this one? Uh, $990. I wasn't wearing long sleeve, babe. Okay, I'm so sorry. Hear me out. Hear me out. Yeah, okay.

You wanna do this? Yeah, what? We're gonna get heard out then. If we're airing this out, if you're fucking... If I've gone through all 40 of my underwear and we got dirty laundry, let's air this shit out. I didn't get it. In hindsight, it was not... like what was I thinking? Yes. However, however, however, it was a big occasion and I wanted something to memorialize

the event do me a favor memorialize ask me if you think I ever would have wore this shirt again ever, ever! Frank I know the answer it was going in a frame in a frame yeah people frame shirts like they frame jerseys what are you Aaron Rodgers? it's not going in a frame did you frame shirts like they frame jerseys you Aaron Rogers it's not going in a frame did you frame the clothes that you wore no I actually just put them away though and I said like all right like all right wait like put them

away in the winter like for like their winter clothes or like fall it's not like you put them down you took them out to the backyard. Alright, you've served your purpose. JUST LOOK AT THE FLOWERS! HAHAHAHA Now, but that's such a crazy... Who would do that? Who would buy something to memorialize an event? Did you buy anything to memorialize Radio City?

Yeah. What'd you buy? A watch. AHHH! PFFT! Frank, that's- How much was was that the watch was very expensive. Yes, it's the most expensive thing I've ever bought in my entire life. However One let's go. Let's go We're going one. It wasn't gloves out. Let's go. No, no, no the watch. Yep. I Don't think the issue that I have with this thing that you bought we're planning on buying was the price okay?

the issue was What it was what it was the item okay? What it looked like listen? Joey me You see that there Hurt, I'm a little confused. You see that there you see those veins. Yeah, what runs through those veins? Blood and what does blood make me a human? I'm a little confused by what you're doing. You see that there? You see those veins? Yeah. Guess what runs through those veins? Blood. And what does blood make me? A human. I'm only human, babe.

I make mistakes. We make mistakes. Okay? And... We only... We can only do what's best for us as humans in those situations at the time. He's doing one of his rants that don't make sense, but it's a lot of words. Hindsight, the benefit of hindsight on our side,

hindsight is always 20-20. Of course we can look back and say, that was a dumb idea. You think that's true? I don't think it's true. I think sometimes I look back and I go, what? I don't know. Well, you look at it like that because you have the benefit of hindsight on your side.

You can look back and say, at the time, you're like, yeah, I was gung ho about it, hindsight now I don't know gung-ho damn right I'm just saying I was trying to memorialize what was professionally our biggest achievement right okay but but I know and I wanted to do it with Versace with me okay with a silver side you sure don't tell with Donna tell of Versace with me, okay? With a silk Versace shirt. With Donatello Versace. With Donatello Versace on by my side. You know what? I will say this.

I will say this. I don't like it, right? I don't like the shirt. But I will say this. I think that if you did wear it, of course I'm joking, I would have never been like, Ew, Frank, don't buy that. If you wore it, I honestly think that you could pull it off. Thank you.

And I think that it would have looked good. It honestly would not have voted well for you though. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To be like, hey Frank, all of the jokes that you make about me. Scroll down, there were some other ones that I had contemplated. Yeah, there were some other considerations. There was a white one that I almost got.

You can keep going And I'll tell you if it comes up some of these are just like these are hideous These are some of them are that white and black one and that golden and blue one were up there, too These two yeah, you know one time actually walked into a Versace store Or someone I was with maybe I was with Danny or something but like i think someone wanted to buy a versace um swimsuit trunks or whatever the fuck and some of the shit there is just like when i picture these these things it's all like older rich dudes in mi mm-hmm with white pants mm-hmm and they're wearing that shirt yep absolutely you know what I mean

low we white pants too you don't really see a lot of younger people in in I just again more of the more like the time my mentality was just like these are my mentality was just like let's memorialize this with something that is so insane. Cause you know me, I like loud shirts. You know me. It's not like loud. I know this is not loud, but like it's louder than what you're normally used to.

You know, like you're not a loud shirt guy. If you were to say, is Frankie a muted style person or a loud style person, you would obviously say power rangers or something like that. Yeah. Louder. loud style person you would obviously say power rangers or something like that louder I thought in my head it's almost become like a part of the show that like Hawaiian shirts loud clothing you haven't worn Hawaiian shirts in very long Frank can't remember last time I wore them but I wear them the Batman one you've worn but like besides that I wear them every now and then but like

You see me twice a week Normally, you know yeah, but I've seen pictures of you, but also I mean not regardless We're splitting peas here. I Just think that it would have been like this is Frankie at the pinnacle of being Frankie on stage at Radio City. So you think in order to be the peak of yourself, your shirt needs to be just 400 decibels. Listen Joey, a worry that people might have about you and I is that along this road that we call life There it is. Which is a long winding road. The long and winding road

Is windy a word? Windy? I think so or I know it's winding in that song. Yeah, but like if something is windy Fuck yeah, dude But like if something is windy In the path of windy Oh fuck yeah dude Yeah In a circle You go low The circle of life Doom! The lion king

You know what I'm talking about They held that motherfucker up. Imagine that was real, like the animal kingdom, like a monkey's gonna hold up a cub and all the animals line up And then they're fucking- and the- the- what are they called? The ones- the gazelles are just like, hell yeah Yeah, I'm fucking bout this shit. Bro, also the gazelles aren't gonna be there. Those things get eaten by fucking everybody. Well, that was a- that was a thing that they said in the movie. It's just don't we eat these animals. It was just like yeah, but everyone it's the circle of life We all it's like we're having an assembly everyone chill. Yeah, dude Yeah, bro that soundtrack

Go back and raise go back and watch that fucking movie you open up with circle of life Just can't wait to be king Be prepared Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata? Is that like the pinnacle of Disney soundtracks? Not my answer, but it's one or two. I recently, Finny texted me and he was like, yo I just saw a video where it was like top 10 movie soundtracks or something,

or maybe it was Disney soundtracks, and he's like, Tarzan is 10. I was like, that movie soundtracks or something, or maybe it was Disney soundtracks, and he's like, Tarzan is ten. I was like, that's fucking illegal. We can debate this one day on a Patreon episode, but I think Lion King is definitely in the top five. With, without question. Bro, you're forgetting so many other fucking movies that are just absolutely-

I mean, Aladdin's probably number one. Aladdin is in there, Little Mermaid is in there. OOOOH, LITTLE MERMAID! Pocahontas is in there, Mulan is in there, bro, people go- people ride for Mulan, dude. Tarzan, man. Tarzan, exactly. Tarzan, bro.

Mulan- not Mulan, uh, Pocahontas is like... It's got one. Colors of the Wind? That's it. Yeah, that's a problematic movie now that we think about it a lot of them often I don't even know the story of that move. I don't even know what I mean. It's just like What is going on white guy falls in love with her? Yeah, and then like his big like dude It's just like nah fuck that this is our shit now

And she's like no, but the real what makes it problematic is like what the real story was It was like at the like the real Pocahontas was like 11 You there's some stuff Is such a cool name by the way that was like my first crush Pocahontas yeah Pocahontas I could see that I was in love with Pocahontas. You know you know my answer Christina Ricci and Casper that's it that's another one. Yeah, you know see I didn't have the same kind of crush on Christina Ricci that I had on Pocahontas Pocahontas I was like fucking Roxanne in a goofy movie are you kidding me I know when

I was younger too I was like I'll never I'll never be able to be good enough for Roxanne Nala we did years ago we did an episode where I think we did a bracket of like the best looking animated characters might be time to revisit that uh Yeah, some goodies there. Anyway, we do have some sponsors for today. Hello Mama So the first one being how you doing better help the show is sponsored by better help. Okay, that is online therapy So if you're going through something traumatic or even if you're not if you're going to you know If you just have a lot of life decisions coming up or anything, I suggest you get into therapy. I've been in therapy for a number of years.

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We finally pushed to over 34,000 patrons. Unbelievable. We were just talking about it and it's, it's. And he agreed to run a half marathon because of that. So we thank you guys so much. No I did not. In November. We did not.

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announced that we are the The new tour new tour from the basement to the world tour the basement yard boys are getting back after it Yes, sir If you guys for some reason haven't seen everything that we have been talking about or posting about go to the basement yard dot com All of our information is going to be on there if you're seeing this early on patreon may 13th If you're seeing this early on Patreon, May 13th at 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time is when the tickets go live for pre-sale with the pre-sale code BASEMENT. If you're not a patron and you've seen it after that, still go check, see if we're still available in whatever cities are close to you or in your city. So go check it out at thebasementyard.com. We're excited. Go get your tickets. Come see your boys. And this is, you know, if you came last year, new show.

Yeah. We got new stuff. Yeah. We want to make it so it doesn't feel like last year and you're not, you know, you're getting new stuff. Yeah. So go check it out. Thank you guys.

We love you. We wouldn't be able to do this without you. Yes. Amazing. Let me ask you a question. Oh you I don't know. Can I I don't know why I hate the pointing so much like it's not a bit I just don't like it It's not like you're doing anything wrong like we're in a show we pointed each other we talked

But like you just did that and I was like, oh, maybe you got something Like what I I don't know you got something like what I don't know from but you but you do the way that you react to like poop conversations and mustard and me pointing apparently is pretty pretty the same it's pretty like it's similar to how you reacted to when that shirt popped up on the screen that I was gonna buy what were you gonna ask me babe go ahead well the question that and he kind of proposed to us before this Yikes! What were you going to ask me, babe? Go ahead. Well, the question that Ant, he kind of proposed to us before this, so I wanted to bring it back up, but it was like, if you had a full day to hide a paperclip?

A paperclip. A paperclip from the FBI. Five agents? Sure. Five detectives are going to raid your house. You have to hide a paperclip somewhere in your house. Do you think that you could fool them? And you could successfully hide it? What...

What equipment do they have? Bro, I don't work there. I don't fucking know. I mean, do they have like X-ray? Do they have like stuff that can detect metal? No, that's cheating. That's cheating. Do they have a metal detector and stuff like that? Uh... Or are they just looking like good old gumshoe tactics? Like, are they just going with their hands and they're looking around?

Let's say that Okay, yes, I can hide 40 of those fucking paper clips. Okay. That's insane. No, bro one I'm gonna find I'd hide them all I'd hide them all in the same place. That's that's trick Joey That's not a trick. Okay. Well, where would you hide a paperclip? I mean the easiest way that I know they're not getting it as I swallow it Where'd you hide a paperclip? I mean, the easiest way that I know they're not getting it is I swallow it. Um... They'll know!

How? They're gonna check ya. Well, they said they don't have a metal scanner, so what are they gonna do? They're just gonna poke my belly and, like, you know, put their ear to it and stuff like that? Also, I don't know what's gonna happen to you. You already got a little sensey tummy. You'd just swallow a piece of sharp metal. Yeah, it won't work Well, but if because let me tell you something here's the thing. It's gonna be a red wedding when here's the thing

here's the thing that Aunt said that if they successfully don't find it, I win a billion dollars. Oh, is that the thing? Yeah, but if they don't find it they die, but if they don't find it they die if they find it do I die? No, you're so gonna if they don't find it, they die. But if they don't find it, they die? What if they find it? Do I die? No, you just don't get a billion dollars. If they don't find it, they die, and I get a billion dollars. So they're gonna shove their hands down your throat and up your ass to try and find this thing.

They could try, bitch, but they ain't getting very far. It'll be in my belly. The first place they'll check is definitely some sort of wand to make sure it's not in you. Regardless, there's no way they're finding this thing. Where would you put it then if you weren't there? What would you do? Do you know? I have no idea. I- Here's what I would do.

Okay, walk us through. I'm a detective. You ever, uh- OWWWW-WHAA- Well, you're gonna have to be tougher than that, detective. Uh... Open up, Joe. It's me. We're not doing role play. Why not? Because...

People like it. So... Ha ha ha ha ha Um... You know when you get like a scratch in your wall or something and then you like take soap and then you paint over it? Soap? Yeah, you never done that?

What the fuck are you talking about? Like if you get like a little nick in your wall or something or like the molding you can take like soap and you keep going over a bar of so yeah like to fill it in yeah Oh, I thought you meant like to clean the mark out. Okay. I meant like that okay, so my thought process is like shave a part of the molding out and Then put the paper clip like open it and then put it like that and then do the soap over it and then paint over it. It'll just look like part of the mold. That's actually

that's a really good one. That's really really good. If they have metal detectors maybe I would shove it deep in a TV or something. Well here's the thing if they have metal detectors they're gonna find it. What is deep in a TV? They're flat screens. I'm saying I would take it apart and put it in somewhere deep. Because if they have a metal detector, maybe that'll throw it off. So you're hoping, like, you need something like lead in order to protect from seeing through. That's what's famously, Superman can't see through lead. So, Superman works for the FBI.

Yeah. No, I, if we're saying like metal detectors, they're gonna find it. Does it need to remain in paperclip form? Could I like melt it? Can I like melt it down and make it into a ring? You're hiding a paperclip I'm hiding a paperclip make it into a ring Just think it out loud here. Um What all right? I think like the easy answer is like hide it in the piping somewhere. So like most bathrooms have like copper piping and stuff like that and like hide it in the piping somewhere. So like most bathrooms have like copper piping

and stuff like that and like put it down the drain. You have to be able to get it. No, he didn't say that. That was not spoken. Oh, I mean, I'm assuming you have to like be able to access it. You can't just flush it. Well, then it wouldn't be in your house. That's why I didn't say flush it.

I said like put it in the drain and like tape it to the side or something. No, they'll find that. You think so? I think so. There's the spot that we have in our house. So technically our house has a chimney and but there's no fireplace or anything. I guess it's just like a chimney for some reason. And in the attic, there's a spot between the brick chimney and the like attic and there's just a hole and I don't know where it goes throw it down there and it's not like big enough that like they can fit down there and get it they would have to like send a drone what if I took it and I wore a rubber glove and I shoved it in a

socket electrified it so even if they find it, it's like, I can't do it. Oh, you know, they could just put on the rubber glove and remove it. Oof, didn't even think of that at all. Uh... I think, like, I definitely think, also, we have young kids, there's like a ton of like little toys that like, you can hide shit in. They're gonna just smash them all. But could they? I like in a pipe.

I like it. I was not bad or like a so like, you know, how like bike tires like that you have to like it's like a tire and then a tube on the inside. Put it in between. Yep. You know, the tube and the tire. Yeah, I like that. You know, that's not bad. Does your yard yard count can we bury this fucker ooh? Sure, oh, then they're never finding it. Yeah, I'm burying this thing 40 feet down

I'm burying it probably hit China I Believe that when I was a kid I legitimately believed at the beach that if I dug far enough I would end up in China. Yeah, you should fucking stupid. Yes, you are dumb Yes, and go and try it right now and let those walls cave in and take the oxygen and your life with you. I Think that there is if you get how much prep time do I have if you tell me like they're coming tomorrow Yeah, like okay, so like then I could definitely do it But if you're like they're coming in an hour, I'd be like, oh fuck if you dug 40 feet You can tell oh someone just dug there in a day. What if I took a cucumber and I just shoved it in slow, brother

I'm going that's the easiest thing to see something metallic in a cucumber They would have to crack open the cucumber. Done! Bing! There it is! Oh yeah, I guess I'm making them up. Come on, babe! I'm not doing that, yeah. Ooh!

What if... I know what I would do. I know exactly how I would do this. I would... buy... a truck's worth of... needles. And I would throw the paperclip in the needles needle

in a haystack Frank I believe that's a paperclip in a needle stack exactly so I mean if they knew that best case scenario yeah damn I thought I'd get him Frank Frank out again! Bang bang boom! best scenario, they're sitting there sifting through that or I got another one. I buy the big needle stack. And you tell them it's in there. And I don't tell them it's in there but they think, well, that's where he must have put it. It's elsewhere. You fill your house with needles and then you hide it in a good place anyway.

Or! Needles fucking everywhere. I'm on it. I'm on it. Remember the movie Saw II? Hear me out. Remember Saw II? Where are we going?

You saw Saw II, right? Yeah. Remember where the girl gets thrown into the big hole in the floor with the syringes? Literally my least favorite part of all of the Saw Wars. That's a bad one. Ew. What if I had a pit like that? You don't. But what if I did? I'll buy a kiddie pool. Are you saying if you had a pit of syringes? Yes. In your house? Yep. And I turn the paper, I open the paper clip so it looks like the needle part of a syringe and I put it in there.

The whole pit of syringes was so like not needed for you to like do that. Um, hmmm. Ooh! What if, this is good, I think it's good. Alright, hear me. Hmm? No, you're supposed to listen. Alright, hear me. You're supposed to listen. Alright, hear me.

Somehow, okay, you take it, you take the paper clip and you make it flat and then you put it into a tube of toothpaste and you get it all the way onto the side. So you could just use it normally and it's like toothpaste. Like there's nothing in there. If you get it all the way in and then you put it off to the side Then it'll just act as toothpaste bro. I'm sorry if I have 24 hours, and I'm a detective Everything that could have something in it is getting torn open and cut open and searched thoroughly I think the molding is a good answer What if while they're in there I slip it in their pocket?

They're gonna walk away with it you dumbass Well, they're staying in the house for 24 hours unless they- But if they can't find it, they're like, ah, I guess we're leaving. As soon as they walk out, they're like, wait, I have it. Exactly, it's over. The 24 hours is over. But they'll have it on their- in their possession. But they didn't find it. Yeah, but they didn't find it during the time- the allotted time that they had to find it. This is a horrible idea.

Yeah. All the- they're gonna be like damn and be like oh yeah I think hiding it in something or under something is the easiest answer like you could get an urn mmm yeah they can really dump out grandpa let's be honest that's fair that's true I was thinking what about you know um I think I got it okay you have hardwood flooring in your house you Oh, grandpa, yeah. What about, you know, I think I got it. Okay. You have hardwood flooring in your house?

You guys had hardwood flooring in your house. You know, there's like the nails in the hardwood flooring? Yeah. What if I make it look like it's one of the nails? I just like drill in and put it in and then like make it look like a nail. I think it would stick out unless you're gonna put that like floor glaze on.

I would make it look good. I would do my best to like make it look good yeah you know or like in you know you know how like floors that have carpeting they have a like ugly throw-up colored carpeting it's just like the spongy foam underneath it yeah what if you just shove it in there like in in the in the throw-up carpet I mean this is another thing I think they're probably just gonna rip up the same way that you said anything packaged. I think we can do it. What if we put it in a pot of boiling hot water?

Gotcha, gotcha. Come on, or watch this. Turn it off, just look inside and let it cool down. I feel like if I drill a hole into a door and then put it in there and plug that up, how are they really fine? Can I can I can I you'll tell that there's a there was a hole in a door. Can I alter this paperclip at all? Yeah, you can make you just can't melt it.

You can't melt it. You can. So I can I can make I can bend it. I can paint painted a different color Yeah, yeah, sure, okay I just wanted to check I think that there's a possibility that Why don't we do this bro? Why don't we just put it like when you first walk in the house? There's molding above your door and do the thing that I said right by the front of your door. I think that's tough because that's the first place they're gonna check, like any good detective.

Bro, shove it, get a giant ladder, right? Climb up to your roof, and shove it somewhere. He said in the house, not on the house. Ooh, so does it count as in the house if I put it in the brick outside? Mmm brick boys Like what if I'm like pointing the house you know you get rid of the old um shit the concrete between the bricks you put it in and then you point the house Boom

I was gonna say in a paver I'd say the driveway In the driveway in a paver Tar You cut a little like a little section of it and you put it in there, and then you put it down just make it look like the paper never came up Yeah, I was gonna say just under a tile in your house. How are they getting that? Here's the thing yeah, so here's the thing Pure regardless of there's five of them if you put it somewhere where they're just the timing doesn't make sense that they would Get to something like that. Yeah, like by the time they got through every single paver

I'll take those chances for a billion dollars Unless they just yeah, yeah, no, you're right billion dollars. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way they're finding it There's no not a single fucking way. Oh What fucking detectives do you know clue? So who do you know wait? What if they have a dog and the dog knows what paperclips smell? Dogs can't smell metal. They smell bombs and drugs and kids. But if they smell me, they'll know I- you have to have someone else place the paperclips. Hey brother, it's your house. Everything smells like you.

Not outside in that one brick. It's your house! The place probably smells like you, period. Dogs can't smell a brick in the air? In the air? That's like if you were just like, well if I murdered someone in my house my fingerprints are on the all over the place it's like yeah cuz it's your house same thing your scent is everywhere do you think you could hide like a I'm trying to think of like something like bigger than a paperclip. A baseball.

No. No, baseball they'll find that tough. That's impossible. That's really tough, yeah. Literally impossible. I can't hide it in the wall. Also, if I'm the agent and I'm gonna die, I'm walking in here with a sledgehammer, the walls are coming down.

Everything's down. Everything, I'm dismantling that place piece by piece. That'll make it harder if you start knocking the walls down. I mean, they'll have to go through it, take it out, not in there, go through it. they'd have to do it in a Smart way this is like not the conversation. We're having but like you're moving into a new house soon Do you ever like and I don't mean to ruin this for you here. We go. It's done Yeah, I'm not I'm but you ever think about like that there could be stuff in the walls

Like like a body I've never thought about it, but thank you for this now right or like haunted have you ever spent the night there? Do you know haunt? I don't think you know how buying houses work, but they don't like give you like a one-night trial I can't sleep over. Yeah, just like if you don't like it. You know satisfaction guarantee. You'll get a full return No, you basically the first when you when you get the place is when you stay in it I always think about that when I like in my new apartments the first night. I'm like fuck. I hope it's not haunted So I don't know I don't have my realtors license So I can't with confidence say where this happens or like the minutiae of it But like Frank to my under the fuck on you said minutiae four times today, Frank. Four. Four minutiae.

When have I said minutiae? He minutiaed in the video we shot before. You minutiaed on the call earlier. Did I minutiae? You minutiaed. I don't remember any minutiae in the video. I honestly don't remember minutiae. When you guys see the video, you'll know he minutiaed, and you're minutiae now, and then you minutiaed on the call. Did you just learn minutiae?

No, I've always known minutiae. Well, now it's very popular now, and it's been four minutiae? No, I've always known men now. It's very popular now, and it's been for me It's a popular word It's gonna be pretty laborious for me to take that out of my fucking vocabulary bring that back either And I'm giving you a point on purpose. I think Frank also can I be? You know you know I I you don't know I don't know all right. What is it? so like wait what are you talking about minutiae oh just like the little parts of something like minute yeah like minutiae like like like the little like little things little details

little details but what I was gonna say is that some places some states that might be different state to state or or whatever but you need to like if there's a known crime like a murder or something that has happened or like if it it's suspected of being haunted like I'm not thinking I'm not saying like known crimes I'm saying like this kind of covered up unknown crime yeah yeah hey listen man out of sight out of mind ignorance is bliss could be all bodies in the wall They could the walls could be this house could be being propped up like that by skeletons I wouldn't know yes, and I'd be more worried that someone sees an open house sign, and then they're just living in there Like squatters that's that happens do you ever see those videos of people are all that my bunch of bananas is gone

I don't know what it is. Oh my god and there's like that's like a small Asian woman that crawls out of like a Cupboard and they've been living there for like four years or some shit. That's kind of what I'm sorry That shit terrifies me I don't know where this happened, but like I saw a video once and it was just like I've noticed like things have gone missing so I set up a camera And then there's just like someone that like crawls out of a cupboard you've heard about this you might be I'm talking up Look at video what the fuck you've never seen this but like in that situation

Wait, what are you talking? Why are you saying open house? That's like when people are showing their house right and they're Wait, what are you talking? Why are you saying open house? That's like when people are showing their house, right? Yeah, but they're go ahead and then they see that okay This house is gonna be vacant they get in there and then when the family moves in they're just secretly living in the house son that can happen I'm sure it has happened and like Shit like that. I'm sure I'm like Beating this person like they're a demon Because I wouldn't believe that they're human it's it's pretty crazy it it happened in my house a person crawling

out of a cupboard I can't even see a banana you need to and you need to pull this out and like they would like fun they like found the area and there was like quilts and like pillows set up and shit like that and like food wrappers and like this person would sneak down maybe it was like maybe it was like publicity for like a movie or something, but like No, that's terrifying bro. I would I'll take ten dead bodies before I take a human living in my house So you read is that you'd rather the dead? Absolutely, yeah, don't talk. Yeah, that's true. That can't creep around. I mean if they're ghosts. I don't like being jump-scared

That's my thing. Yeah, I know. I would rather someone squat and be in a living room like, and let's have an argument in court or something. Yeah. But don't sneak out in the middle of the night and steal the cookies. Well, you know, sometimes when people show houses in open houses, like it's someone's house that's currently living there and then they move out after it's sold.

So like, they might, people might not have the opportunity, but I'm sure like new build construction, people just go in. It's also a thing with like the like steel piping and shit like that. Copper piping isn't cheap. Right. I don't know if you know the law, the rules around this, but like. How does squatting make any sense? Bro, it's like you I don't know either, but like I've heard stories of like people just show up

They have like a bank statement like send them mail there, and it's like well. I got mail here. It's mine now I'm a squatter and there's like rules and regulations that people are like landlords are like please fucking help me I can't get this person out I Can't understand that like I don't know the law. I think in theory it was set up to protect so the landlord just didn't kick people out for no fucking reason. But it has now become the opposite of that. If there's no contract where you're living there or something like that, then... You know what I mean?

Yeah. So this guy was missing things and then he set up a camera, and then he saw this I Can't see shit. It's it's very dark because it was night time, but someone crawls out of the huh and Then starts living their life while they're sleeping steals things a Deranged woman living in the attic is what it says a broke all my god ceiling thing and this is so scary you know i i don't even know what i would do i think i would have been in my house but in my house i take

i'm not gonna say what i would do because it because i'll say it though if i will go to the middle of the night and there was a dark figure shadowy figure in my fucking kitchen grabbing shit it's fucking on it is so on

here comes Ken Griffey Jr. you're swinging away baby and I'm screaming at an octave I'd be embarrassed of because it'd be very loud be honest with me, would it be like screaming or would it be like ya ya can ya ya ya it would be that barking a little

it would be that but the second they turn around and come at me I feel like do you really think like? Have you I've thought of this before like do you really think you could beat someone up with a bat? Like what do you ask like if you had a bat right now and I charged at you you think you can kick my ass right now and I charged at you you think you can kick my ass are you saying like I feel like people think it's easier that because they think it's like a stationary target they're gonna swing him once and knock them out I'm gonna knock your block off what are you talking about

watch this so then you did you get hit with a bat though no cuz I ducked right but like swing lower. I imagine that like, it's not as easy as you think. I think people think like, you know those people that have bats by their bed, if someone breaks in and they run down like that, like, bro I think- It's better than not having one. Correct. But I think people think that I'm going to swing at a stationary target and I'm going

to hit them square in the head where it's gonna knock them out immediately. I mean, if you have a weapon and someone runs at you and you do end up connecting with their head, they're probably dead. Yeah, but their head is, you know, what, 8% of the length of their body or something like that. Definitely more than 8. It's more than 8. But you know what I'm saying. Is there a sock on the bat? What the what the hell that mean a sock on the bat it mean like so if you swing at somebody What is it like you put people put socks on their doorknobs like they're having sex in their room Are you fucking a bat if you swing at somebody and they grab the bat if there's a sock on it when you pull the sock Comes off you got another chance that's incredible wow really good

we called you stupid for a sec well the camera just shit its pants so we had we you know we got we jumped right to here well good thing it wasn't wearing tighty-whities full circle see that baby. Not a half circle. Brought it back. Brought it back. But a full circle. You're welcome. We do have some sponsors for today. More sponsors. More sponsors. Alright folks, what do we got here? What do we got here? Who do we got here? What do we got here? We have Lightstrike, okay? Lightstrike prepare to be struck by the light. That's not there. It's it's light strike it's a hard refresher okay an excellent source of 5% alcohol okay I'll eat it right here it says light strike is not a hydration product it's a hard refresher that hits different okay

it's got some alcohol in it I took a sip of of it, I love it. It's nice, okay? 5% ABV, it's got coconut water, okay? It's got sea salt. It's nice, it's very tasty. And I like the name, Lightstrike. Frank, you like that? Lightstrike. Strike, strike, lightstrike. Strike! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And I'm about that. I'm not one of these guys, you know, that needs a drink that's gonna make me go like oh

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Don't be illegal. Okay. We don't need that But yeah, go check out light strike. It's beautiful. We also have here Seeky, okay Seeky Listen, this is where I buy all my tickets. All right So if you want to go to a you know, a Yankee game a Mets game something like that You're gonna want to get it with with your Seeky. Okay, you want to go to a concert like that, you're going to want to get it with your SeatGeek. OK, you want to go to a concert, anything like that. The summer's right here, so go to a baseball game,

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El nuevo padre. El nuevo padre. Isn't he American? Yeah. But apparently it's like another country is trying to take credit for him too. But We got a Chicago pope. He's from Chicago? He's from Chicago. He's a Cubs fan? He's like, yeah, fucking, what's the place called? The hot dog place?

Oh, I don't know. I don't remember. Some dogs? I don't remember, but he's gonna be like, naming a father to shine and Jordan dropping 84. drop in 84 yeah I think the internet is ablaze now because I think this is the first American Pope ever is it and you might need a price even though that Pope's could be American why not they're from they were all like it'll I was gonna say all Italy last one Pope Frankie was from oh yeah he was like from Argentina or something and then before that German he was like German? He was from Argentina or something? And then before that... German. He was German. Right.

There was some stuff. Uh, John Paul, where was he? JP? I mean, I imagine Italy. Oh, so is this the first American Pope? Never in the history of the Roman Catholic Church has there been an American Pope. Wow. We're back up.

We're back up, baby. Trump's gonna take fucking credit for this. Listen, I mean, he take fucking credit for this listen I mean he could take credit for whatever he wants and often makes the Vatican America again That's kind of great, bro imagine a guy up there. This is kind of weird, bro I don't know if I want a pope that is American yeah, we got to know which way He's moving I like an American because American American Are you American if you're living in the Vatican dollars a different conch I mean technically yeah I mean I don't think he

was living in the Vatican he was part of like the boys he was just like he was there on like a weekend bender and he was no I'm Pope now guys no he's not like I was just like a priest and then your Pope he was a cardinal we've talked yeah bro being a cardinal is like you got to put in some years you got to do your time you know you start in the years. You got to do your time You know you start in the mail room, but what's that called? He grit his teeth? What do they call it cut your teeth grit grit that he grit his teeth. He was getting after it Yeah, he did he put in it I wish they could do like for whatever the new popes are they have like you know like stats like tail of the tapes for

Them and stuff like that, and it'll be like Pope this guy 15 time Pope of the Year Like tail the tapes for them and stuff like that and it'll be like Pope this guy 15 time pope of the year 15 time priest of the year 22 year Cardinal, you know 38 38 inch wingspan over a hundred thousand Hail Mary's hailed I Just think This could be the turning of the tide to bring America back to a place of just like oh shit. Okay Or it could be real bad. I wonder what what they how do they how do they vote on who to who to Pope? I think they go up there, and they're just like yo, what do you think that you know anybody cure blindness? There's that movie conclave. I haven't watched it. I haven't either and I had a trailer and I was like

Why is Voldemort telling me who should be the pope? You know what I'm saying? What is this? I heard it was a good movie. I haven't watched it. But John Lithgow's in it. So what does that do for you? Nothing. I mean he's an actor. I don't know how they choose it. Is it just like, cause you've never been been in like fraternity like election board meetings and stuff like that where it's like everyone gets To vote it's basically like they vote. I know they get they vote and also the smoke thing Fires so sick just edging the Italians out there. So it's like alright send out the smoke But don't not even the Italians the Catholics dude just like they're out there, and they're just like oh

White smoke, it's white. It's white And I feel like old Italian women are crying in the streets, and they're like he's calm or something I don't know Papa is a key yeah Bro the Twitter has been absolutely electric It's like you know like the I don't know the name of the song, cause I know there's an actual name, but like the bulls walk out music. Yeah. And it's like, this is what the new Pope is coming out to.

And he's just like, you know, I that's crazy. Does he get new, like drip bro? If we don't get like a Cubs pinstripe. Bro. Also, I didn't know that they get to choose their own name well yeah you got to choose your own communion name his name's like robert but he's like pope leo you got to choose your own communion name i imagine it's the same shit like what was your name again

like frederick no nicholas nicholas okay well there you go it's the same idea i think they probably do that in order to be in line with like tradition not just traditions but like probably so they like fine like they're kind of like In line with maybe who they're taking the name after oh like who you're most like Yeah, like who they want to most follow and being in the poping is there like 15 John Pope John Paul's well No, I think there's only two John Paul Pope John Paul the second That that were they with a back-to-back no I don't know I know JP to yeah I know CMC I know Benedict what about JP the OG JP the OG I don't know anything about these guys to be honest I mean either we should probably be careful so we don't

blaspheme we're only just talking about their names we're're okay. We're not blasting anything. We're okay. They're just names. Yeah, what are you worried about? Are you scared of God? You're not even a God guy. We are doing a show in Chicago. Do we invite the pope? Do we invite the pope to the show? Just like, yo, bless our show. Do you think that we could sell out a theater at the Vatican? What is the Vatican? Have you been to the Vatican? I have. What is it like? Like what's the surrounding? Cause it's like one big church. Isn't it like the only country that's entirely in another country or something like that? I don't know the facts about it. But it is also the smallest country in the world too. It is. That's also

true. But like what, how big is it? It's just big big pretty church also. There's catacombs down there Speaking of buried on top of dead bodies is that where they put all the Pope's I? Think so they throw all the bones down there Is the is the bad row the boat is down there? I think that is the is the Vatican this is probably a very stupid question But like the Vatican is not just that building It's like a little city. Yeah, Vatican City is the name of the country like what is that like? They got like a dog. Oh those gift shops probably all hard so many gift shop. Oh my god

Really so many gift shops you can buy everything holy waters probably you can fuck It's from the brook! It's right there! You know what I mean? That's like taking a cup of water from a river, go to the Vatican... You're getting it straight from the source. That's some pure spring water. You know what I'm saying?

You could kill a guy and drink the fucking holy water there and it would be totally fine. Can you drink holy water? It's water. Yeah. What'd you think holy water was? I thought it was something different. I'll be honest. No, be honest just water that someone was like That's it one more time. That's what that's what it is. Can we make this holy light strike? Yeah, we make it holy

Like speaking of holy water Holy light strike. I've been stricken by the light of God yeah, I I think Of like all like the chain restaurants, you know What do you think would make the most sense to be in Vatican City? Chick-fil-a They have been pretty consistent so yeah

They're like You know they're like yo, we're so holy that we hate gay people and won't open on Sundays. Isn't that what they say? I could think of one. I'm pretty sure. I might upset some people. I'll tell you offline. Wait, you could think of one.

I could think of one that would line up with some stuff that has happened in the past. What? Oh. I know your answer. Yeah yeah right yeah little Caesars Caesar Roman no all right I don't know what you're at we're coming off the heels of subway that was like what are you talking about that's fair if they did I mean subway would have great marketing if they did it like it was like a foot long if it was like five dollar foot long but it was in a cross oh a five dollar cross long yeah yeah

that would be good because you can get two different sandwiches let me get that pizza yola chicken pizza yola I used to order that from someone I know that's what you used to get I remember very clearly that thing was soaking wet with sauce that you were I used to sauce it was until I keep gone yeah when I got this thing I would douse mine in oil and vinegar listen up I still like dirty talk to the so basically I'm dirty talking to the people at Subway when I'm like oh make it fucking oh my god more more more toasted but leave it in leave it in toward cheese more more yeah you can't order from Subway without it sounding a little sexual like

It's just like what kind of bread do you want? It's just like oh? Garlic herb yeah, oh let me get that garlic herb, and then they open it up, and there's like They like split it open for you. They're like they literally yeah, yeah this bread yeah This one you want a six inch or a foot long. It's like the fuck. What do you think I'm here for? Get the fucking foot long. What do you what do you want you want some oil on it? Oh? Yeah, give me some more oil and vinegar on them more You know anyone who walked into a subway in ordered a six inch is a fucking bitch. Yo, I've never in my life, ever in my life, ever, gotten anything other than a foot long subway sandwich. Six inch. Who are you? A bitch?

Or the kids one? Bro, if you bring your kids to eat at Subway. That motherfucker better get a foot long too. I don't give a fuck. Just bring them to McDonald's dude. Just bring them. Six inch. This is crazy America dumbass yeah and now we got the fucking the Pope now what now what now what we got a Chicago Pope hell yeah what's gonna know what are you gonna say Chicago Pope is that day he's like hey I really want to hear him talk really do is he an old fuck I'll be honest I don't want to hear him talk is he an old bastard he looks like he's in his like 60s. Oh, that's young. Yeah, it looks kind of young

He's a young guy from Chicago get the fuck he looks like he's in his 60s Maybe 70s, but like I might go visit this dude. I mean you're not you're not gonna Why not who you do what are you gonna? Go visit the boat? I want to see the Vatican Okay, you could see visit him though is different I'm not gonna like fucking go have dinner with the guy But if he drives by in the pop mobile shit if the Pope hit us up tomorrow I was just like y'all let's I want to have dinner with you guys and bless your show Frank I'm we're going and I'm asking him about how much he loves Chris Bryant

Former Chicago He's 69 years old All the crazy number to get it 69! American and they're just like you're the new pope 69 year old pope you know pope fucking coach ditka bro if he was the first American pope and he was voted in on April 20th, and he's age 69 My head would have exploded And imagine he came out and his like robes were just like weed socks 420

Jokes aside. What does the Pope do? Can he like do some shit? I'm sure I think it's it's like a liaison You know between the Catholic Church in different countries and stuff like that. I do, in all jokes aside... So he's an ambassador. Kind of, yeah. I think, I hope that this creates more of a sense of love and happiness and inclusion on behalf of the Catholic Church. Because there have been some times where they've not been those things. Sometimes. Yeah, most of the time they have not been those things.

Eee, probs that's crazy though dude shout out to Chicago just getting the Pope dude they probably lost it oh man that fucking river is gonna run green why green when they run it red Chicago when they run it red I don't know why whatever why does that mean well red green is for st. Patrick's Day yeah red it would be would be for the Pope be white. I think white I feel like you got a better chance of making it Probably white yeah, you can dump like milk or something in it See what happened like I told one of the worst jokes of all time and then the conversation was just horrible I'm sorry guys. I think I was struck by the life

What did you even just say well there you have it folks I think that's all we can do legally okay me and Frank you're gonna take you know at some point during the tour we do have some time off so we are going to go to the Vatican and have hot dogs with the Pope. Brother, no. In Chicago. If we in Chicago have a hot dog with the Pope... You can't go back to the hood, dude. Imagine they were like, this is the Pope, he's from Oblok. Fucking Chief Keef up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. That's fire, though.

Hey, man. Let's hope this is good for the Catholic Church because America as a whole ain't been doing so hot I wonder if he was doing his time in Chicago like he was just like a pastor at like a you know I don't even know what a pastor is to be honest with you but like yeah I don't know he was a priest or something I don't know that like the I don't know the way like the the the track toward Pope ship because if you're a cardinal I'm assuming it's like all right you don't have to be at the little churches will put you know I think that the Pope needs to be Cardinals so like it's like Cardinal is like Pope jr. yeah so like then it's like oh shit there's an opening maybe you

could jump like maybe like bro can you imagine how fucking mad you would be if you worked your whole life to be the Pope and then it's open and then it's like nope someone else pokes someone else is getting poked first I'd be fucking tight also apparently he had like there's like betting odds on it yeah and he had a 1% chance at winning at the beginning under eyes just lit up the guy were in a par late to winning probably a lot of plus money Someone would insider trading because you know that's corrupt Someone's probably like on the inside like oh Well, yeah, it's just Robert from Chicago is gonna win the whole thing listen up listen up

You didn't hear it from me. You didn't hear it from me, but Wrigley is a great place during this time of the year Yeah, it's like, huh? Damn, that's crazy. So all the Cardinals. Yo, how hype would you be if he sings Take Me Out to the Ball Game at like the next Cubs game? I just want him to get at that because I'm used to the Pope just being so old that you could barely understand them and then they're all they also like You know, I'm just I'm just not expecting a 60 year old fucking guy from Chicago out there. You're not a very- I wouldn't define you by any stretch of the imagination as a religious person. You couldn't tell from the last 20 minutes?

But if this guy, in his first like, official press conference as Pope, if he does this, tell me if you're completely back in if he's just like Feed up So my plan is by the end of the year 20,000 Hail Marys Supplement within our father Like how pumped would you be and then he just like cracks open a light strike This is like the perfect way to get out of a bad joke He just go right to the lights right and just cracked it open. I've done it twice and he's just like You know like hell like when people crack open it like a what would he do if the Pope sat down with a 40 and

Like just not do a pack of cigs. I Don't even know dude. I mean him kicking his feet up would probably be enough for me I'd be like damn this guy's really honest. I'm he's like we gotta change something. We gotta change this the whole thing around I don't know. What if he makes it, will you go back to church if he was just like, at every Sunday mass, every person that comes in gets a hot dog? And crinkle fries, I'll go. And crinkle fries.

If he throws in a crinkle fry, I'll go. Best fry, I'm not having this conversation. We don't need to because all fries. Best fry, go. Steak fry. Yep. Yo, yeah. I was gearing up to yellow. I'll go steak fries

I don't like I love a fries are one of the most overrated steak fries. I think fries period are overrated I remember you said that you like onion rings. I think that shoe string fries. I would literally rather eat my legs nice try Ladies and gentlemen I think that is all we have for today Frank we're gonna find you yeah also you guys like friends that Frank said earlier go to the basemear.com our shows are posted there so if you're coming out to the shows also don't forget to go to the basemear.com slash submit and submit your stuff to our show.

And sometimes we read those things out at the end of the show and we have conversations with people in the crowd. So come out, come see your boys. Our time is going to be split between the tour and the Vatican now at this point. So come out to our shows, go to thebasementyard.com, get tickets. And yeah, that is all. See you guys next time