The Basement Yard - #505 - Would You Fly "Standing Room" On An Airplane

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

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Welcome back to the basement yard there he is twiddling his thumbs I think I can you do that how fast have you ever thought about like how fast you can move those my thumbs Just any finger I remember one time you were like trying to do this or something really well if you get going on that it Feels like a force of like nature like it doesn't feel like the white people roll dance. Yeah, I hate White people need to like get back together figure call a meeting. Yep, and go back over Well, I don't know about a meeting because like yeah, they call them rallies. I think Frank They're not meetings well depends on what you wear to the meeting It's true and where the meeting is because you could wear normal clothes

But if you do it inside a government protected building right some people will call one thing some people call it another right? You know. But- But if you're out in the middle of the woods. If you're out in the middle of the woods, that's also scary. Right. You know. But like, do this as fast as you can, and tell me it doesn't feel like there's just a force of nature in like, you are like creating like a, like a, like a, like a, like an atomic bomb level amount of energy. I, I did try this on the show and it didn't feel that way. It didn't feel like that? I also hit my knuckles against each other and that like did you just break your hand hit my hand but I'm okay it feels like there's just something there you

look like you're doing that boxing thing I never be bad ever been able to do that I can do it like not insanely fast here's big cock McGee can fucking do it. Yeah Some I would say it's easy actually you by the way I just want to point out this you know come follow the NBA this fucking piece of shit showed up today wearing an Indiana Pacers fucking crewneck, and I should punch you in the face What's what's more crucial is that this is being recorded after game one? Yeah, that's even more crucial that I know that there's comments. Oh, they're so mean to and sometimes or whatever I want to ball up all the energy I have and take it out on you like a rabid Wolverine

They don't they don't understand that we have literally made a living and even before that off a rag on each other friend banter Bing bang Bing bang boom you know so like He comes in here trying to poke the bear and not get a response out of us He's come in with by the way I want to tell you what has Celtic shirts pacer shirts I came in here and his office is like off to the side, and I literally just put my middle finger Over there, and he goes you didn't even see my shirt, and I start walking I hear me goes

I'm gonna chase you I'm gonna chase you and I sit down in my office He opens up the door and he's wearing that he started with the finger so really he started it You have you have you came with I don't have weapons if I had ninja stars dude. They'd be in you oh That's unsexual have weapons. If I had ninja stars dude they'd be in you. Oh. That sounds sexual. I would throw them into your skin. Right. I think Ant, he's clearly poking the bear. We asked him earlier, we were just like you know who are you like a sport like a fan of and he's just like sports. And he's like the game. And he's like the game. He's like my dad. He's like I'm a better sports fan than you guys Just wanna see a good game Oh, I'm sorry

You're fucking, I said it before and I'll say it again, you're that meme of Rob Lowe sitting at a game with just an NFL hat, like that's who you are Let's go refs You know, you remember those fitteds back in the day that were like, it had like the MLB logo

and then it had a patch for every single MLB team they had him for football and basketball as well. That's what we should get over the pants Remember the big pants. I don't remember the pants. I remember that I don't wait hold on before we go any further guys We do have some major major news about the tour Ticket sales Going unbelievably we've already sold more tickets than we sold all of last year major news about the tour uh ticket sales going unbelievably, we've already sold more tickets than we sold all of last year uh, it's been incredible

and one place in particular has supported us so much and like every single show that we have listed in this city has sold out in literal seconds, so we're adding a third show to Toronto. Free! Free! City has sold out in literal seconds, so we're adding a Third show to Toronto free free pick number three my lord So we're gonna add another show a third show on August 5th in Toronto tickets for that show go on sale right now

Well not right now technically if you're watching this at 7 a.m. Today June 2nd Noon okay, Eastern time so at noon June 2nd noon okay Eastern time so at noon June 2nd which is today when this is going out to the public so at noon get your tickets our third show there and if that sells out in seconds I don't even know what to do I don't even know we're gonna have to move to Scosche we'll have to move to the bank. We'll do the show, if we sell that third one out, we will do a show where Ant is entirely covered in tin bits. We'll tape an entire... Hanging upside down.

Hanging upside down. We'll tape... Covered in some sort of oil or adhesive? Well tin bits. But they're stuck to his body. They're stuck to him. Because of the adhesive. You know, but they're but they're stuck to his stuck to him because I'm gonna tape them or glue them But we will we will adhere How many tin bits it takes to adhere to his skin if we sell out this third show, right?

I think that's a no-brainer. I think it's a no-brainer as well And he's also a huge fan of any team that ever has existed in toronto leafs fan big leafs raptors blue jays fan You know Um, but yeah, so go to TheBasementYard.com. There's no code or anything. Just go to TheBasementYard.com at noon today, June 2nd. You will get tickets to that third Toronto show. Thank you to Toronto specifically for being so supportive over the years. And thank you to everybody.

As Joey said, the tickets have sold incredibly well. There's still some available, so go to TheBasementYard.com. Click and see if they're available in the area you're coming to if not if you feel so inclined and you want to take a trip somewhere it's gonna be a good fun time yeah what was that I was stretching with them I was doing like a turtle what's your what's your go-to stretch in the morning that's a great so you wake up you wake up out. Will you wake up? Yeah walk me through? Are you still in bed for your stretch? You get up and stretch out of bed?

What are you insane people stretch in bed? Yeah me? Oh you you stand up and stretch? Yeah, I get up and I alright so show me your go-to morning. You must you probably stretch like a cartoon Definitely makes a noise yeah you definitely mean my yokey bear no no what a good slumber if I wake up any noises I make during the stretch are completely involuntary I want to make that very clear I'm not little tired. If I wake up, any noises I make during the stretch are completely involuntary. I want to make that very clear. I'm not waking up and going like, la la la la.

Like, I'm not like, it's not like a cute stretch. My stretches get ugly. That's it. How do you stretch? What do you do? My stretches are like, they like start here and then they like, like don't know what part of my body that was but everything popped and cracked I think I I don't do like cute

stretches no I mean either I go back you go back I go back I'm laying down oh so like do you like arch your back like a good little bitch? Okay? That's insane That's not what happens at all But I go back and I think I go like my face always contorts I go like oh Yeah, you're pushing you're pushing through and then I go out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're pushing through the stretch, so it's like Yeah, and then but then I get them I get in here and I push my tits together you push your titties and then I and then I stretch down so

you go so you're right out wide I go down pop your cleavage arch your back mmm yeah and then you just moan through it yeah you're horny no it's funny because like I think the internet like movies again it's all movies they've made it so. Um... No, it's funny because like, I think the internet, like movies, again, it's all movies. They've made it so like, you wake up and it's like, ah, wow, good morning. Like, no, my morning stretches are like, I'm kind of like a little bit of a gremlin in them. You know what I'm saying?

I'm just like, argh! Sometimes my hands do stuff and I'm like, what was that? Like I'm like, I come up, like I'm like what was that like I'm like I come up like I'm like Pull up yeah like my arm just like Like what am I doing okay? And you don't you don't do like I don't stand up and stretch us banana. I do stand stretch I'm yawning I Do stand stretch. I'm up here and like sometimes I get up a little too fast, and I have to stop I'm like That hasn't happened to me in a while. I used to do that on purpose as a kid

Stand up really fast. Yeah I would lay down on the couch upside down and then get up as fast as I could and how do you lay down? Upside down like you lay like with your head hanging off the couch Oh, so like literally my feet are my head my head is my feet and I lay there and then I quickly stand up and I'm like That did it for you, huh? It's like whippets without the drugs. You know I'm very glad you're not into heroin This is crazy thing to be doing Yeah, I didn't do that. I just you know you didn't have any like cute like kid things that you did in terms sure I did I just but I did sit on a couch normally

I think I also sat on my couch normally don't try to turn this into like I was just a psychopath I mean you got off on like just standing up real fast you know getting off is going down weird territory I didn't get your rocks off I didn't get my rocks off my rocks were right where they needed to be we're on my rocks were on tight just needed to be. They were on tight. My rocks were on tight. Fastened. Just like those Timbits that are going to be on air if we sell that third Toronto show. I need one. Oh, that's nice.

Wait, you'd eat them off of him? One. Can I ask you a serious question? Can I ask you a serious question? Yeah, I love Timbits. I love it. No, no, yeah, those are good. Whatever, fine. If you went to a party and there was one of those like Naked Asian naked sushi situation. Yeah, are you even gonna?

If I had to No one's holding a gun to your head. No, I know but I'm saying like I think I like I Think the answer is no Oh I think the answer is no unless it's prosciutto. Oh It's a shark I've always seen it as sushi well one I'd walk in I'd see the naked girl with the with the food all Over her and I'd be like oh, I'm in one of those parties I'm gonna get killed you're gonna get you gotta go or bribed or blackmailed. Yeah, yeah, that's what happens those Oh, yeah, those freak offs as they call them right yeah, fo's

But I I would not opt for that if I had to though I'd probably try to stay like up here like get a shoulder shoulders a shoulder Okay, but like I would even go for a boob But I'm not I don't know once we start venturing on top of nipple or are you going for like upper boob I? Think we're staying as high as we can I Think once you get around to that belly button a a belly button I feel like is like a pool. Things pool there. It's a cesspool, it is.

Belly buttons are kinda like little gross septic tanks. Like, you know, you could, I don't know. Have you ever done a body shot? I don't think I have. I feel like I've done a body shot. If I have, I've completely forgotten. I think I did a body shot at your house. Off of whom? one of our friends

Who was a girl? Who was a girl who? You don't need to say their name One of our like friends there are actual friends that I'm still friends with her oh Okay, she doesn't live here anymore. Gotcha. Yeah, I got it. That's a s- really? It was just like a-

That's honestly knowing how this- this person was a little like... kinda conservative, now with her political views. Yeah. But like, with just like, being the life of the party. So like, that sounds a little surprising. I think it was just like a- We were like, oh, it would be funny- funny be funny funny joke it'd be hysterical if no one else in this room knew about this and you did it by yourself it was literally

on your kitchen counter don't remember that I also remember like immediately afterwards I was like why did I do that what was it a shot up probably something disgusting Jameson yeah sorry Jose Cuervo or so. Oh, yeah, we're never gonna get a deal with Cuervo so You let that fly, but it was something like that and then immediately after I was like Why the hell did I do that? Because then I just started thinking about belly buttons and I was like mine belly buttons brother. Yeah, I like found actually like finding crumbs in my belly But do you eat them? Do I eat them? What am I nine?

You like finding crumbs in your belly, but I don't know the extent of no I never ate burgers I never ate my belly button crumbs or any of that yeah I as like a little little kid a book two years old or something a bird yeah I mean everyone here old maybe maybe three or four but like as soon as I started sentient that two years as soon as I started getting grossed out by it like that's One of those things that like I see videos of people eating boogers, and it's just sense chills down my spine Yeah, it's the scum sentient at two years old. You don't know who I was at two years old bitch

Bro people who do you when you blow your nose? Do you check it you look at it you go no No, I don't want to see the mess in that I take a peek the mess in that I take a peek just to make sure I'm not like blowing out some weird shit, but I don't like go there and go oh, no actually that's a lie Sometimes I'll blow my nose, and I'm like oh my god There's so much coming out you got that from your dad your dad used to do that You told me that your dad would like inspect his tissues first of all my dad doesn't blow his nose into tissues Are you insane? That's fair, yeah. He would inspect his hands or your childhood blankets or something.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen my dad use a tissue. Nor do I think they would work against his face. You would need a paper towel for that sort of thing. Well, if I blow a nose, I'm starting a fucking small hurricane somewhere. This thing... You're always with this giant nose thing. I have a big nose, and I'm proud of it. I don't think you have a big nose.

It is a powerful nose. I think it's proportionate to your face. Then I also have a big face because I have a big nose. Can we see a side profile? I've got a big face. I feel like I got a big head. I saw a picture of me at like 14 and I was like, damn, that nose is my current nose at my then size.

Maybe it was big then. Maybe it was big then, yeah. You've grown into your nose. I think so so I feel like I have such a big face I don't think your face is that it's getting smaller you know what you're lucky you're lucky you have it like your your face goes your profile goes back the people whose face like open up like this what people have triangular face like they're just like wide-ass heads and

face a wide face yeah like they suck you don't know you're pretty good I've seen pictures of myself oh how many of us are in here I've seen pictures of myself from like a year ago and I'm like look at my head I saw a picture of you from like five years ago and I was just like that hair thank God he fixed it. Bro, yeah.

Because you look great now. You know what you got working for you is. Thanks. But like at the time I was just like huh. Yeah, yeah. I mean you know one of the unfortunate things about being white is that usually your hairline isn't all that. Yeah and you age like spoiled milk.

I don't need to be reminded of that But I was like Why would I be doing that hairstyle if it's like it's crazy because like you're probably at your peak of good-looking this now Wow, and then You're only getting uglier from here every day Every day you're getting ugly and then I'm probably gonna look my best when I'm in my late 40s, mid to late 40s, early 50s. Hispanic, I, you know.

I feel like I'm offended by what you're saying. You shouldn't be. I'm not saying that you're ugly. I'm saying you're gonna be ugly pretty quickly. Right, and you'll be better looking for long. We'll swap, we'll swap spots. I'm not ugly right now but like I'm only getting better looking with age right and I'm falling off a cliff I falling off a cliff is dramatic I would say

you're rapidly driving downhill so I'm driving off a cliff no the cliff there's no cliff you're not like here gone It's like you're just steadily getting up there. Getting worse. Which is okay. It feels like it isn't. But I will bring it up in therapy, I think. And we'll see what she thinks. Oh no. Did I actually hurt your feelings? Hand me an Academy Award if I tricked you. That was very good

That was quite impressive honestly. I could have got some tears going probably You could have you should honestly rolled with it and told me yes, so I can lose sleep over can you fake cry? No, I can but I need like a full two minutes What I know I like try to make myself yawn and I get it going. Oh, you just said it you know I hear that thing that's like if you yawn and then someone else doesn't yawn at your yawn then they're a- A psychopath or something like that? Yeah, like a serial killer or something.

People are trying so hard to find like serial killers now that it's just like they'll look at anything. It'll be like, well if a dog doesn't like you it means you're a murderer. And it's like, or it's just a dog that doesn't like you. Yeah, dogs they can sense evil. Yeah, I've heard that. My brother, cause I was so afraid of tornadoes when I was younger We live in a very very very obvious thing to be afraid of I was so scared of tornadoes first I grew up in New York City

Yeah, so every time it rained or like a thunderstorm or it got like gray I'd be like oh my god tornadoes are coming Yeah, and I'll always be looking the clouds thinking there was tornadoes well We grew up in the age of twister that was one of the biggest movies from when we were kids That's exactly what did it and I remember my brother was like we had birds Marty and Molly they survived two years, but in those two years I remember my brother used to be like if the birds are going crazy And like that's when you should worry when because they can sense weather like bad weather see I've heard of that yeah, but they're Domesticated parakeets yeah, but there is a certain evolutionary instinct that they don't miss. I tell you what the only thing that made those fucking

Birds squeak were food. Nothing else. Well they say if you look sometimes You could tell like whether if you look at like certain trees and plants So like there are trees by where we live that they say that when it rains they turn upside the leaves turn upside down and if you look the tree will be green like the leaves will be green and then because they're called it's called a silver maple is the type of tree because the under part of it kind of looks like whitish silvery and sometimes when it rains they turn a little bit it's crazy man fascinating aren't trees fucking wild yeah Yeah, they're like alive. But like also they're just like...

Not. What is that? What are they? And then they're just like, yo we're gonna die for a couple months. Also like, we breathe with you. You know what I'm saying? We're cycling breath with you. Circle of life, Elton John. Like if you... I used to... And when I found out that I was breathing... Tree piss. I mean,i- Like tree piss. I mean tree breath. Tree piss. Like, I'm like, so if I'm in a jungle, is there just more oxygen?

And I'm like breathing really well. That's a really good point. That's a really good point. But think about where there's no oxygen, and there's no trees. Space. And? Osh. Osh.

Yeah. So yeah, maybe like if you go take a deep breath... But there is oxygen in water though. There's a lot. But it's mixed with two hydrogen... compounds. Yeah. That's why it's water.

And I actually heard that it's technically... Isn't it H2O2 is water? I don't need to not know what water is right now. I think I saw something one time... It's technically, isn't it H2O2 is water? I don't need to not know what water is right now. I think I saw something one time that it was just like, water isn't just H2O, apparently it's like technically H2O2. Good chance I'm wrong. And I also wouldn't make a dent in my life. What am I gonna do?

Wouldn't care. I'm still jumping in the pool. Wouldn't care. So that's a good, we should do that as an experiment. Let'm still jumping in the pool. Wouldn't care. So that's a good we should do that as an experiment Let's fly you to the Amazon No, give you like 10 hours or just go take as many deep breaths in the middle of the jungle And then test my like and then just see if you get more air my pulse ox Yeah, we'll find out my blood oxygen level and it's got something. It's saying h2o2

Hello h2o2 is hydrogen peroxide. Oh. I'm wrong. You know what would be funny? I'm going to turn this podcast into one of those Jubilee videos that every time we make a claim there's like a fact check in the corner. It's like, no, that's wrong. Just have a lower third and just say like, actually. It pops up.

It's like, that's not it. That would not do. It would be mostly that at the bottom of the stream. Hydrogen peroxide. I Put that in my ears sometimes. They say yeah, they say yeah Yeah, like when my ears get clogged I throw it in there and it bubbles up. Oh, does it feel bubbly? I don't love it. Throw some champagne in that bitch. Why not? I know that the champagne the champagne wouldn't do the same thing, but like if you're going for bubbles I'm not there for the bubbles. I mean it doesn't fucking like give you an ear infection. Just putting liquid in your ears

It's like no. I mean I hope well. I was told by a An old Irish woman to do it so then it's got to be real. Yeah, it was my or it's meant or it's meant to like Exacerbate the fucking like Catholic Irish guilt that you know maybe they did it back in the day I threw it in there you ever get soap in the mouth no my parents didn't do that you got it once so do you yeah because I said like fuck or pussy or cock or something damn dude you said pussy I don't think I said pussy until I was like 17 but like accidentally in front of our bro you definitely said pussy until I was like 17 but like accidentally in front of us, bro

You definitely said pussy before well not pussy in the vagina sense Definitely did no way Joey pussy 17 ah that may be an exaggeration, but but in but like 16 no way Bro, I would call that you're a pussy, but I know no no that's a pussy I'm looking at no you but you would say You look at lovely pussy. I you pussy way earlier than 16. No way earlier. No I didn't oh So you were a good Catholic boy about being as everyone else around us was pussy And you were just like not me no I just it's not about me being that I just didn't I just I don't know Why I feel like I never use that word really I feel like I can't wait

Until the technology comes out that we could talk to our ourselves at 12, and then just see how bullshit Because I'm honest. I was a little piece of shit Joey was like I you'd go home and pray and Mommy and daddy would help me clean my ears with hydrogen peroxide And I was like yo me D4L dem franchise boys pussy shit all day you know? I hope you guys know how flawed that is it's insane

one didn't pray, two cleaned my ears by myself two what are you this big cool guy? no! cuz you're gonna fucking shake that laffy taffy? no no dude you were gaslighting girls into thinking you were crying no when you weren't once with your away messages once once I all of your away no the the the tear on the paper I guess I'll just walk until I can't walk anymore because who cares no one even

cares oh Joey let's not talk about away messages Joey would just be like damn broken heart that's what Joey was doing and he'd get flooded I would do that get flooded what I would do I would use lyrics but I was never like you oh yeah I feel like nobody gives a shit you know what we were two coins what we were two sides of the same coin Joey that's what we were really no no no and then Joey would write a fucking like song lyric like we're are yet sorry with a broken heart and people should be like oh my god what's wrong with Joey

Frank would change his away message to like my chest hurts from crying so hard no I'm like that no you bullshitter hurt my ankle that's the last thing I need after all the pain I've been in my whole life We were two sides of the same coin I was just probably a little more of a piece of shit about the way I was getting it asking for attention A hug is not well that wasn't me that was that was somebody else that was somebody else who made their hug is nothing I want mode and the days of like

That was somebody else who made their hug is nothing I want mode and the days of like People are always just like oh my god like being passive aggressive started with Twitter, bro You forgot my space your your full name on my space sometimes as a paragraph someone that we know I Guess was dating this girl seeing this girl And then like they were leaving each other and they hugged each other and then went home And then he changed his myspace name to a hug is nuttin I went mode in debt Moe den dad Who doesn't want mode in that dough?

Cuz let's be honest a hug is nuttin Hug is something I agree, but like what this person was clearly looking for they wanted mo They wanted mode and that then dat being the hug Not dat right you know but more than more more than to hug dat and referencing more than what he got yeah Won't you shake that laughy-taffy that one of them was shake that laughy-taffy One of them was do you remember a Josh? He's gonna be editing it so he probably just like jumped out of his chair screaming it like he was just like

One of them was when I like got together with like a girl that I previously broken up with and it was like finally sheesh Like I have I don't remember last time we brought it up before like years after that would always just say like finally sheesh Oh sheesh sheesh oh sheesh finally some say yeah what are you gonna do we were we were children do my mom get super pissed at me because one time I made my way message like running around running around the house naked like catch me if you can my mom's like the fuck is that see what I'm saying like that's what yours were you know where I got mine were just like damn like heartbreak means something to me, and yours were just like I'm naked

Like oh, I'm showering. Oh Like oh my god. It's so sweaty after that basketball game where I scored 500 points Like that's what he would do and then I am the psycho I was First of all you you make it seem you were like oh man my heart's so broken It's like one your heart wasn't broken you were lying No, I probably was heartbroken over for for what four hours. I mean Back then heartbreak was so different than what it is now now we have the benefit of maturity and responsibility different than what it is now. Now we have the benefit of maturity and responsibility on our side. The benefit of maturity. We do. Back then, that four hour heartbreak was the

worst four hours of your entire life, Joey. Got that right. Damn right. Oh man. But we do have some sponsors to start to talk about here, okay? So we can't have the show without Stamps.com. Stamps.com, it brings all the amazing services of the post office right to your fingertips. All you have to do is go on their website. You can buy and print official US postage right there in your own home. You can do it in your underwear at 3 a.m. if you like. I don't know why you'd be doing that.

It sounds kind of sus, but you could if you wanted to, theoretically. But go to stamps.com and you can save some time. You don't have to drive to the post office, maybe wait in a line or something like that. It's convenient, so you can do that. Also, it's very useful for people who have e-commerce businesses and you're mailing stuff all the time, stamps.com. You also get rates that you wouldn't get anywhere else, so you can save some money as well, like up to 88% off USPS and UPS rates. Massive, okay? So big savings there and you're saving time. It's a no-brainer. So sign up at stamps.com slash basement for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale

No long-term commitments or contracts or anything like that. Just go to stamps.com slash basement and Yeah, you'll get that special offer and this podcast is also sponsored by better help better help is is also sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. It is customizable so you can talk with a therapist at whatever frequency you like. You want to do it once a week or once every other week. You can do that, customize it the way that you want. It's a fraction of the price of in-person therapy, which is probably the biggest deterrent I would say. There was also a study recently that like 26% of people felt like the thing that deterred them away from therapy was the fact that they'd be judged. But in my experience as someone who's felt like that before and then turned to therapy, it's just not

true. So if anyone out there is feeling like, oh, I don't want to be judged or be uncomfortable or whatever, I'm telling you it's going gonna be a really good experience and you should definitely jump in. And if you want to, you can do so with BetterHelp. Like I said, they're more affordable than in-person therapy, so you can save some money. And you can also save 10% off your first month when you go to betterhelp.com slash basementyard, okay? That is B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basementyard.

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Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard on a web browser, whether it be on a desktop or you use, you know, the web browser on your phone and sign up that way. If you use the app, it's going to charge you a little bit more. So patreon.com slash the basement yard we thank you guys we love you guys we support you guys you support us let's keep this party going he's party going oh and also sorry I'm out of breath as Joey said at the top of the show we're adding a third Toronto show okay which is gonna be on August 5th yep so go check that out also if you're coming to any of the other shows, or if you're not coming to any of the other shows, go check out. Tickets are still available in some cities. So go to TheBasementYard.com and you'll see the list of shows

and then check out which one you might want to take a trip to or it's in a city near you. Go check it out, okay? If you are coming to any of those shows, we do like a part of these shows to be interactive. We want to talk to you, about you, with you, all that fun stuff. So go to thebasementyard.com slash submit, S-U-B-M-I-T, in order to submit your responses to some of the prompts and questions that we have in there, okay?

A lot of these places have been pretty crazy and wild, and they've made some really fun interactive experiences for everyone at the show. So go check it out, thebasementyard.com slash submit. You're not gonna feel bad about it. You're not gonna feel good about it. You're really just doing okay. It's the ending part of that. I have a question for you.

Go. Have you seen this whole nonsense about airplanes now offering, well next year offering standing seats on certain flights? Yeah, I think I would do it if it was like a short flight. Duh! A short flight is what? Like from here to Toronto. It's like an hour. You'd stand for an hour on a flight? I just stood for an hour. Can I ask, how does that not like, do you need to be seated for takeoff and landing?

Because I know like they see like you like the fucking rules or you need to be here You need to be put this needs to be closing yeah, you have to yeah, but like so like what do you do in that situation? Fucking I think you strap in like a what's it called like a roller coaster? Yeah kind of got me on board there now I do love a good roller coaster., I'm like you just you just chill so what is let's say the climb might be weird though Very weird. That's why I'm wondering like what are you gonna be sitting or standing? I feel like I could stand right now on a plane and be like I'm good What's the longest a flight would be for you to not do standing? Or sure I guess I should be sure shorter than the worst way i could have asked that question

not long um... i don't know like two and a half hours might be too long so i would depend it would depend on the situation so like i and uh... travel snob at this point in my life really i don mean you would know better than I would well like I I don't like I

Like to spend on travel like if I'm gonna travel I was like okay I want to be as I comfortable as possible that makes sense, but like if if a Standing but to a certain degree so like that's what I'm saying like a flight to Toronto like I'm not booking a first-class ticket to a flight for Toronto. You don't even like I'm not doing that Yes, that makes sense. What is like the rate? So like let's say if it's like main cabin box. Let's say main cabin is $200 okay, and then standing is Like a hundred seventy five is it worth the 25?

no alright it's a- oh no no what's worth the 25? is it worth only the 25 dollar difference? oh to do standing? yeah no so it needs to be like significantly cheaper

yeah yeah yeah so like like if i'm gonna stand bro then like if seats are 200 then standing room would be like 60 bucks oh wow that's a lot cheaper dude i mean i'm fucking standing here that's a lot cheaper dude I mean I'm

fucking standing here that's a lot cheaper yeah I don't know like clearly the people that are coming up with these designs have forgotten about the mid two thousands and party buses because clearly the people have not been on a party bus you're gonna strap you in though bro do you remember how chaotic party buses were everyone was holding on Yeah, clearly the people have not been on a party bus. You're gonna strap you in though

Bro, do you remember how chaotic party buses were? Everyone was holding on and then would just they would try to dance at a red light and then it would move and they were Yeah I'd be all over the place. You know like this shit is like That shit is dangerous. Yeah, but So, you know, it's funny like a while ago I saw a video of the CEO of Ryanair which is like an affordable airline in in Europe talking about standing only and he had made the they were like how safe is that he's like it's actually incredibly safe and I don't know the reasons why or the

research that's all I have to say But if someone like that who Ryanair famously, zero plane crashes, their whole airline, but if that dude is saying like it is safe, I also believe that it's safe. I just, I don't- Like to stand there, landing in the air. First of all, Europe, brother, the longest flight that's there is what an hour tops unless they're coming here

Yeah, well then I mean if someone took bro and someone's gonna do or Africa I mean they have pretty big access to Africa right there well northern tip of Africa I mean the rest of Africa is ginormous I'm saying they could get flights that are like four hours five hours and shit, bro You would do a four or five hour flight standing only? Nah, that's crazy. I don't think, it's gonna, like someone's gonna do it. Crazy to me. What happens if you get tired?

Like can I just like take a little seat? So when I saw the seats, they're like, they look like they're in like the seating position. Yeah, can you pull up a picture of them? Like they're in the seating position and then the like bottom falls out and it's like a, it's more like a lean like a healthy lean almost I'm healthy like it's not entirely like on a bus like people stand and shit like that a lean seat

Yeah, see like is this Ryanair cuz those are yellow. I don't I don't know Whatever click on it. I'm not sure but these are the designs like they're kind of pseudo Standing first of all that looks way harder than just standing. Yeah're squatting you're doing wall sits on this yeah what the fuck I changed my answer to 45 seconds there they're that's standing this is what that's not I don't think the one that I was like way harder left this is what they're considering the top left is the one that I saw that like like that and it like it starts in like a seated position And then it opens up a little more It looks the same as these I would have to get in it you would have to strap

I would need to be either my crotch like a baby like those old baby seats. Yeah like that I would need to be either completely standing or completely sitting this whole like Half in half out bullshit. Yeah yeah come on not gonna work for me I'm not doing this bent knee oh maybe they do that because I heard that like if you're straight-legged for an like an extended you could pass out yeah like the it's like your circulation yeah I've heard it I've heard and like I I've not seen people do that but like I've heard of people the first-hand accounts I read here that it says that they're pretty much not gonna be on flights over

two hours like it's designed for planes to go under two hours. Yeah, that's smart I would I would consider I would definitely do it for this story too like just to say today I would do it you have to go and raw dog it. Yeah, that's fine. I think hear me out Whoa, I got an idea turbulence like that is probably better I'm standing up. No because then you have no like at least when I'm seated I feel like I can just be in my seat like if I'm standing up. It's like I have nowhere to go but down Hey, that's the reality anyway, but I know what I mean like in terms of standing it could be double down like I could fall And then be down

What if because a lot of airlines, airlines, are you listening? Big plane. They're looking for like the next evolution in like air travel and like making things more luxurious and shit like that. And I'm not talking like the ultra luxury brands. Like I was about to say something ultra luxurious. Like no, not like Virgin or, or Qatar, like airlines. That's, that's one, right? Yeah. I would say Virgin is like airlines. That's that's one right yeah, I'm gonna say virgin is like Crazy, oh, I don't know Emirates. I know is yeah one Like they're like the mom-and-pop brands hold on not mom-and-pop brands Delta United JetBlue Them okay

They make it Bless you they make it HEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww seats at a bar on a plane and like that's your standing seat but it's at a bar on a stool but no no the standing one is at a bar it's like you could sit at the bar on the flight that'd be fire and it's like I mean if they have a bar on the plane then you could just wait till it gets up there and then you can walk around no fuck that but your seat is at the bar if you're a real alcoholic yeah you know and you're just like so they have like you know like like let's use Delta as an example They have Delta one okay. That's like Premium yeah, you know like bang then they have like extra plus or whatever or whatever

It's called yeah, and they have like comfort and then they have main cabin get rid of extra plus Okay, and just put a bar. And the seats are just at the bar. Yeah. And like there's a bartender on like one of those like, you know how like VR games, they like strap them in and they can like turn and walk around and stuff like that? Yep.

Put them in one of those so they're safe. It's not necessary. So not safe what you're saying they're safe yeah right I trumped it there I don't know why and then they're just like you're sitting at the bar for two hours for your flight I was thinking that I can't believe they don't you know like the ultra rich people don't do this where it's like if you got a flight all Australia, bro Just put me under Wake me up when we get there. I mean people do that with like they like

Allergy medicine and shit like that when they get on planes don't know I'm saying like anesthesia Oh like gas my room and then like I'll fall asleep bro gas the cabin put us all out and then Fucking wake us up. I don't like that because sometimes you need the passengers. Like is there a doctor on board? We have an emergency. No emergencies if everyone's taking a snooze. Or someone has a bad reaction to anesthesia. That too.

Does that happen? You're the one that said you're afraid of that movie Awake. I am. I've never been put under. I've been put under. I talk all this shit like that I would but I would never do that on a fucking plane my like

unconscious body What if it? Ain't happen bro one time by the way. I've been doing this thing where I don't wear my seat belt when we land Bro, I'm gonna tell you something Where you should wear it? because I tell you something. Wear it. You should wear it. Because I did it once and it was I guess I just had a really good flight. I don't actually like do this all the time but I did do it the first time I did it by accident the second time I did it on

purpose. The first time I didn't realize that we were landing and we landed perfectly and I was like why do they make you wear your seat belt is that just like because of insurance or they have to so they could say I like I was some stupid shit that I was Thinking this is the whole where like the approach where you take where it's just like you don't need to check out of hotels That's all the myth. I Don't check out of hotels. Do you check out at hotels? No, honestly Frank Frank like has to check out

Yeah, because it's courtesy because these people need to know that I'm gone But I'm usually leaving at the time that I have to leave anyway. Sometimes you may not. But I'm still not checking out. Crazy. But go ahead. I just don't.

But anyway. What was I even saying? The whole like, when the plane lands and stuff like that. Oh, so the second time that this happened, I was like, I'm not gonna wear my seatbelt, like whatever, last time I was chilling. I almost went under the fucking seat because when you hit the ground and then they hit the brakes bro laws of motion almost

fucking flew under yeah I mean you think about it you're going from when you're landing probably slower 300 miles per hour to so like yeah your body's gonna keep moving same idea with a car crash well it's it's it's not until that they hit the brakes like you're already on the floor And then they hit the brakes really hard And you're kind of like like that over I almost slid underneath the seat in front of me And I was like you're never doing that again That's such a row did I ever tell you the story about the old Asian dude who took my seatbelt? Yeah, you did I was on a flight and there was this old Asian guy sitting next to me and I had a middle seat.

So I was a little confused about where my seat belt was because I couldn't find it. I found, I was like, okay, I have one of them and then I look over. He's buckled in and he's holding mine. Like he's bracing himself basically. So I was kind of like this guy seems like he's nervous to fly like I'm not gonna like take his thing from him or whatever, but he held on to it. So I was just kind of like this guy seems like he's nervous to fly like I'm not gonna like Take his thing from him or whatever, but he held on to it, so I was just kind of like Be like hey, can I have it back, please? Yeah, I just figured the dude was like scared to fly or something cuz he was holding on to that clearly He knew he took my belt, and he was just like no. I'm scared which I'm sympathetic to because

I used to be very afraid of flying good for you there was another time our girl came on my flight I thought I was gonna have a free seat next to me this is in Vegas going home she got on the flight her sandal was blown to shit and she was sweating like crazy and I was like oh she just ran for the plane but then she sits down and she's fucking terrified of flying and she's audibly when the plane's just like driving on the runway like on the tarmac she's like not having a good time we're climbing and she's freaking oh no and I this was already like this is like one of my first kind of flights and shit like that so I'm just like yo shut up

like in my head I'm saying like yo, please stop you're making this worse for me, but I couldn't say anything She's going whoa like that. It's like it's at night. It was a red eye, bro. I was up I couldn't it was terrifying like think about how much worse that makes it when someone else oh oh You know how I am anytime someone brings up like something happened on the flight. I'm like shut up. Yeah Frank just goes into a zone he's like turbulence not anymore yeah in my head it's it doesn't exist anymore yeah you're like nope it's fine yeah I'm literally in a truck yeah or I'm in jello that's not what I say that's what the internet says which makes no sense but you ever been on one of those flights that has a full bar like

you go walk up to it like never like the very big airplanes. No never I think you can only do that if you're gonna Be a big dick McGee you have no I have not oh yeah I just like have you ever done it shy have you ever done that well guess who has this guy with the 10-inch flaccid Yeah, no I haven't that would be lovely though or like take a shower which is kind of dumb But I mean yeah There are those flights that are like 20 hour flights and you can pay like $30,000 to have basically like a studio apartment on a plane Which if I if I had that like money to just blow $20,000

First of all I don't think I'll ever be getting on a flight. That's longer than five or six hours But like you have six hours to Europe. Oh But you would you've already been there if you were a little further it'd be seven hours. I don't I don't like it's scary I don't like that. I live on there. You know then I'd like seven hours. Yeah, it's like this is too long Hawaii's long, but I wouldn't do Hawaii It's like this is too long Hawaii's long, but I wouldn't do Hawaii You refuse to get on a flight longer than six hours I don't refuse but the idea of it is something I would need to be coerced into what is it about the time?

That's scary. It's just too long But what does that mean? I just don't like it. What do you mean? It's not I know I get like turbulence and like, you know You're just oh when you're like you're just in the air too long Our bodies are not made to be there to be in the air too long. Our bodies are not made to be there. We're supposed to like every now and then like touch down. Just like check in with the ground. I could do like, it would suck, but if it was like 12 hour trip and it was broken up into like 4 3 hour flights or 3 4 hour flights or 2 6 hour flights or three four-hour flights or two six-hour flights or six two-hour flights enough I would do I would do that okay what about like or

eight one point five hour flights you know yeah that's what I was gonna say imagine that it's like yeah you can go but there's eight layovers. I I would you would never go to like Amsterdam or like Sweden you didn't hear what I said Sure, you had to break it up. Yeah, I could break it up But like these people that are just like oh I flew to Australia and it was a 12-hour flight and then another 12-hour flight And then another 10-hour flight. It's like just don't go dude Just we're just not maybe we're just not meant to go there and that's okay like accept it Cool, we just don't need to do it. I mean the question I guess it begs the question

What are we meant to do? That's a great question. I don't have an answer for it We were meant to live for so much more without no time I Don't remember Okay, so he's like I'll show he is out of the question you're never yeah I have no Japan you want to go to Japan I would like to but I would hope that they figure something out by the time I decide I want to go I'd like to, but I would hope that they figure something out by the time I decide I want to go.

What, we're gonna get an Elon Musk rocket ship? Well, they've said that they have discussed planes that could do the trip from here to London in an hour and a half. Right. Terrifying, but... It'd be blasting through the sky, dude. It's something, right? Like, it's a choice. I'm not saying that like what does that cabin feel like or maybe it feels normal I feel like it'd be like when you're on one of those like not roller coasters, but like remember at the fair they yes Stick to the wall. Yeah, you stick to the wall, and then you could like You know I feel like it'd be that which wouldn't be ideal

But you know so if you were go to Japan or like Australia or whatever, it would have to be like, alright, we're gonna stop in France. I feel like there's no way to get to Australia that isn't at least a 15 hour flight. Probs. Because like, unless it's legit like, 10 flights. You'd have to stop in like France and then like... It would be like, yeah, France, but even that's nine hours, right? No, France is six hours. Okay, so like France and then like Somewhere else

Somewhere else somewhere in between those two but then like like Russia or some shit Oh, you probably have to like I don't even know Russia brother. Russia's just going fucking right away. I forgot who someone in my group chat access this but like I think it was Joe how close? Do you think Russia is to United States in miles like the closest points of those countries? How close are they? Well, there's that that thing that connects Alaska and Russia and it's like a couple miles the Bering St Strait. The Bering Strait. Yeah, isn't that like six miles? That was not the answer I gave but yes, you're right. Oh, I didn't know so I didn't know that was Russia I'm smart, I told you guys. I think the answer is six miles. I'm saying the Bering Strait though is like the thing that connects them

Yes, it's but it's under a hundred miles. I said like four thousand miles. No, yeah, it's very close. The joke, remember the joke that Sarah Palin said? She was like, I could see Rasher from my house. You know? Damn, he sounds just like her. What is it? What is the actual mileage? Did you look it up?

I think it's like forty something. I only know that because of the risk board. I know Alaska and the thing on the other side is connected. What an insanely loserish answer. I know because of the risk board? Goodness gracious. You know, we don't judge where people get their facts. I...

You know what, you're right. Okay. 2.5 miles. Two? Pretty close, yeah. Wait, what did you look up? The closest point the US and Russia are separated by. 2.5 miles, that's crazy. I thought and Russia are separated by two miles. That's crazy

I thought the answer was like 40 or something. That's so sick. Anyway, we do have some more sponsors We have a new one here today, and that's square. Okay squares your all-in-one business partner making your day-to-day Easier, okay, so it's like a POS system a point-of-sale system You know you can use it for payments, inventory, customer tools, brings everything together in one simple platform. Okay and Square is what we use when we go on tour. We're selling merch that's what we use there's like a little machine and then you know you pay for it and blah blah blah it's get everything it got your inventory got the you know the sales and everything you could pay

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his world knowledge from risk forgot about that is there any like worse Forgot about that. Is there any like worse like Board games? I love board games but like in terms of like the worst board game is there anything worse than risk? Monopoly. No way. Monopoly is so fun. Monopoly is incredible. You're also naming very popular boards. There's some bad boys. I know they're popular I'm not saying that they're not popular but like you know who else was popular Hitler How do you feel about that aunt hard-h getting demonetized there? All right?

Who the worst board game name there's some bad ones like this is a board game called diplomacy very bad board game What is that like I imagine it's just like a UN meeting that you need kind of is there's some bad board games Catan's good though What's the whole you guys love? I knew I knew that loves katan. I've yet to play katan I'll tell you what I played at his house the other day They've been all they've all been playing by the wrong rules for about 14 years First of all the first time I played that game was like three years ago second of all

That wasn't the other day that was like last year Was that it was not it year. Was it? It was not, it was not 2025. And I was blacked out on wine. So that's... I think what makes Monopoly fun is like you can kind of like, your inner Tony Soprano could come out, you know what I'm saying? Like you could just be like, lace shit up. You can make deals under the table.

You can strong arm people into certain things. Steal money from the bank. I never, you know, I understand why that's a thing people do that. I like to win legit. You know? We know that the cream of the crop in board games is cranium. Duh. I like cranium, I like trivial pursuit. Trivial pursuit's too smart for me. It depends on what you're going to do. Like it asks about like Anne of Green Gables and shit like that I don't need an updated one. You can't be like, oh this 1970s cartoon. I'm like, all right, bro. What is this? Yeah, there was one actually there's a it made the rounds a couple years ago

It was a trivial pursuit card and it was like the entertainment question on the card and it was like which of these actors has never played Batman and At the time it was accurate and the choices were Michael Keaton Christian Bale Adam West Ben Affleck and Then it was like oh shit. Well. Yeah, someone has played Batman since then damn Risk like my father I've never played risk He keeps trying to get me to play it and I hear it's fun But like it just seems like such a chore is it like armies and yeah My my mom's side of the family used to

play when they were younger every week and it's it could ruin families every week oh dude parche easy bro wait hold up are we skipping over the fact that your family would play risk every week that's cute every week they got they got together I wasn't around yet it was a while ago and it would risk every week is banana there I think it's a very common thing that families do like board game night every week We used to do that growing. Okay, so I mean I'm saying risk every week is insane Yeah, that might be a little much we used to play a lot of Scrabble. Oh Hate really nice scrabble. I really dislike smart board games

Why because I don't want to be smart when I'm having fun. Cranium and there's trivia. I know but it's just like fun trivia. Like you need to be smart for Scrabble. You need to have like knowledge outside of just general nonsense knowledge. It's words. I know but like certain words like people get too into it and I don't like

that. I don't like when people start doing the two-letter words like oh QI triple letter and I'm like fuck you yeah I just I feel like risk is one of those I'm just not a big a big fan of but sorry trouble sorry is underrated you know what was underrated you know what I recently played and it's a lot of fun you remember perfection oh were you taking the pieces out of the no you need to put them in the recently played and it's a lot of fun. Do you remember perfection? Oh, were you taking the pieces out of the- No, you need to put them in the thing. And it's like, it's popping up or like the timer's going and then it pops up at the end. That shit is fun as hell.

Wait, oh I was thinking operation. Oh yeah, operation's fine. Similar game, but- It's okay. It would just like be the, heh. Oh, it would, it would, it would, heh. Yeah. That shit was intense. What's the one- oh, you know you know I loved I've never played an actual round of this, but I just liked fucking with it mousetrap

We have mousetrap the pieces might be destroyed somewhere, but it's okay Yo, I love videos of like anything that's like dominoes but it goes on for like ten minutes or it's like dominoes, but it goes on for like 10 minutes, or it's like a marble that like lands in this thing and the thing spins and drops it in here. What are those called? Oh, Rube Goldberg, Rube Goldberg are what those are called. Rube Goldberg?

Yeah, they're like, it'll be like to make coffee and it like starts with a marble and all that shit. I love that, it's so cool. I saw one where a guy had a whole machine to like help him get into bed and it like brushed his teeth and like made his bed. I was like, this is so cool. Yeah, one where a guy had a whole machine to like help him get into bed And it like brushed his teeth and like made his bed. I was like this is so yeah That's a little too much it always reminds me of that scene in Casper. Yes. Oh, I love Casper, but they I'm okay with Rube Goldbergs They're cool, but like setting them up as such I imagine a chore. Oh, I don't do that

I just want to like watch you just want to see them already done Yeah I love when people do the dominoes and it's like a big domino thing of like Mario riding Luigi and it just like in one you never seen that Mario riding Luigi I meant Yoshi you know what I'm sure the right parts of the internet that one exists too you know what I love when dominoes reveal a picture of two brothers fucking each other. Two cartoon brothers having at it. Going crazy on each other. I misspoke. Forgive me. Before we started recording Aunt asked a question and it was a really good one that I don't particularly know if I have any more answers to. But the

question was if you could have a billion dollars, but you can only buy things with that start with the letter that your name starts with. So you can only buy things starting in J. Right. F. A. Jungle juice. Oh, why would you buy that? My snap answer was jewelry jewelry but that's a good one I said fruit yeah you could buy that now I know million dollars how much fruit you buy a lot of fruit I could buy there's expensive fruit too those like Japanese melons and shit like that

jellyfish why would you buy jellyfish I don't know but he can he can I can get one for my good bank you could buy a jet a Jet you can buy yet. That's great. I could buy an f1 car or an f1 racing team. Oh Are they gonna say like an f150? No, I'm not a good truck. I guess but I guess but not not for a billion. You know I'm not a A good truck, I guess, but I guess but not not for a billion, you know, I'm not a An f1 racing team. That's not bad. Right? Awesome. Would a billion dollars get me? That's a good question I don't know any part of it because it's owned by a Ferrari and sure you would you know, who else owns them Ferrari? Someone else I know so much, you know what it is. I know so much about f1 Ferrari Red Bull Aston Martin Williams What else you got? I?

Know so much about f1. I know me to keep up with tough Well, I mean out he's become or Cadillac well Cadillac is like slowly trying to get themselves in right you know, but You know What else aunt aunt said he'd buy an airplane. You also said an air hanger. Well, I would need that for my airplane, obviously. That's fair. Honestly, he's kinda right. What can I get? What else can I...

You could just buy air... Jungle Cat! I could buy a Jungle Cat! But like... But what are you gonna put them in? What am I gonna put them in? Yeah. A cage? Can't buy a cage. Oh, it's like everything everything everything babe how do I survive I can only eat jelly beans jambalaya jambalaya

great I'm chillin jalapenos jalapenos in your jambalaya those are all I didn't even think of things with silent J's yeah jalapenos yeah others go ahead how jambalaya jolly fruits jolly be jolly bees Japanese food Japanese are you chilling brother you're chilling can i buy i could buy finished food which is probably like fermented shark or something

probes i could buy frankfurter frankfurter i'm living on hot dogs baby hell yeah I'm dead in a month yep if I oh hot dogs and fruit have me jumble I open jelly beans I mean I mean Japanese food they got some stuff in there that's true yeah F I can I can have a steak in French fries French fries I can have a steak in Frankfurt Germany that's not how fries, I can have a steak in Frankfurt, Germany. That's not how that works. I think you can buy part of a city, can't you?

For a billion? Bro, I thought you meant a steak that you would eat. Oh, no, no, no. I was like, you can't eat steak. No, like I can own a piece of Frankfurt, Germany. What's J? I mean, fried foods I could eat. I'm gonna be dead very quickly.

Nothing that I could like, you could buy like jogging equipment a Jeep shoes a jet ski a jet ski Jogging equipment I mean Yeah, I mean any or like nipple like you guys love getting your nipples fucked up taped up, right? I have two shirts that don't make my nipples hurt. Okay, so you could buy jogging equipment. Shirts fall into that. Um... I could buy...

Jersey mics! Ooh! Not the worst sandwiches in the world. No, honestly, I had them once and I was like, This is what Subway should be, minus a lot of stuff that Subway is, you know? Yeah. What about... should be minus a lot of stuff that subway is you know yeah what about jumping jacks jump rope jack in the boxes mm-hmm rope I'm sorry apartment building for myself I'm buying that by the way yeah an apartment building can't get a house though I can't get a house oh well you could buy like a buy

apples you could buy anal beads or you could buy you could buy steak in Apple that's a good one that's a good one Apple yeah you could buy an and you could buy a ton of air pods back to Apple Apple iPhone Apple laptop, anus, yes technically. I don't know. Oh, Frankie factory, buy a factory. I can buy a factory that makes what though? I've bought nothing. Frankfurters.

You know, I could buy fort. I could buy a fort. That's where I'll live. In the fort? I'll live in a fort. Where am I going to live? In the jet? Like you could buy like fort,'s where I'll live in the fort I'll live in a fort Where am I gonna live in the fort like that you could buy like for like Netflix just bought Fort Monmouth I could buy fort anything what if I bought a You can buy several coffee Lopez

No, well Jen Rannison Again, I don't think the person was the issue. I think maybe the purchasing humans was Again, I don't think the person was the issue. I think maybe the purchasing humans was You could buy several copies of the 1997 classic jingle all the way Right. I could buy any movie that starts in F, you know Fast and the Furious. I hate those movies, but like enjoy buddy Can own it. Yeah, I could buy ginger um Jar Jar Binks

Jar Jar Binks lifelike statue. Yeah, see how much that gets you. Oh No, you'll only dip into your billion dollars and you'll have nine mil 999 million nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine dollars left Everyone better that I made that joke yes I feel like after the second round of 99s. I would buy fire fire Fireplace fireplace fire for my fort fire firewood fire starters by a firefighter firestone tire a fire department I could buy a fire department for what reason just

think I could buy firefighters I could buy your dad he's not a firefighter and he was once once and always brother it's a brotherhood it is and it's for life you can have a jacuzzi ooh jacuzzi a jet ski and a jet but nowhere to live nowhere I mean you could live in like a jungle house Okay, you can live in a oh Yeah, you could buy Jenko jeans Joey's goodbye Jenko Jenga you could buy a lot of Jenga I could buy What this is

Fucked up piece of shit I fucked up piece of shit I could buy film studios oh yeah why not billion dollar I don't know I mean you can probably buy a steak in them yeah more steak that's all I got I mean I think J is a bad name bad letter so J is a good one A is a really good one too feel like.

Jewelry, and then I could pawn that, but then I would have more money that I can't buy stuff. I could buy fancy stuff. If I just put fancy in front of it, can I buy it? It's like, oh, that's a fancy car. Oh, that's a fancy house. No. If you could do that, then I could do,

can I buy a house, a water bottle? But A is, fancy is an adjective. A is just. and then I could do like I don't get to that I get a job just just just just the house just do whatever I want oh if your name is Walter can you get whatever I want I mean if we're avoiding just a house that's true but I got nothing Walter that's the name you went with I name another W name Whitney male William William yeah sorry one more Walrus Walrus this is my son Walrus if I had a child and I named them Walrus. This is my son Walrus. If I had a child and I named them Walrus, what would you say?

To my face. Well how did you land on Walrus? Alright, do we do another like turn in the San Agato Studios acting course? We'll do an acting thing. Alright, I'm naming my kid something insane and then you're just what's your name? Give me backstory no. Oh, we're just acting now. Okay. Yeah, right. Oh my god first of all she they them What are we going with pronouns for this baby? It's a boy walrus frank. Okay, so I'm telling I'm telling you I'm coming. Oh, I'm not meeting the baby I'm coming into the scene. I have the baby you have the baby with you. Okay. It's not a walrus right no It's a baby named walrus gotcha. Yeah, all right. I'm coming into the scene. I have the baby. You have the baby with you. Okay. It's not a walrus, right? No, it's a baby name. All right. I'm in all right, okay, and this is you're in the hospital Okay, so I'm coming out. I'm like, why are you coming out of the hospital?

I'm coming out of the room with the baby. Okay, and you're meeting me in the hallway You didn't even invite me into the room. Yes, my wife's in there. She's fucking opened up She's you know, give her some space for God's sakes. Oh, so this is immediately after... Yeah. So in this situation... Yes. This is immediately after the caesarian... Yes.

You go from taking your child out... No, I was naturally born. Oh, well you said opened up. I mean, like, her shit was opened by a baby. Okay. I mean, they recover. Yeah, I know. Okay.

But I'm saying, like, she's, she's still, she's open. She doesn't want you as visitors. I respect that. Yeah. Okay, that's fine. No problem. So I'm walking out with's still she's she doesn't want you visitors. I respect that okay. That's fine No, so I'm walking out with this very fresh, baby. Okay. You know yeah, but he's been he's been hosed off He's been hosed off and the you know he's he's good. You know yes So I know I'm coming all right. You're coming out of the room. Are you opening the doors? Is it a sliding? Automatic? Meet?

Oh my god! Walrus. Wow! We named him Walrus Santigato. Wow! Hold the hat. Oh my god! He is- how's everyone doing is she's she's doing doing okay? Yeah, you know oh my god. He's Incredible can I hold him? Yeah? Yeah? Oh my god. You're already yeah

Where do you get the name from we like it's her favorite animal It's her favorite animal and like I don't know I just think like the name walrus just kind of like sounds cool We're gonna call him Wally Okay, yeah You don't like it. I know listen man. It doesn't matter what I'm gonna Love this bundle of joy no matter what his name is right, but what do you think of the name? I think it's a choice I Support it though so cool Wally Wally West the flash and

Walruses are cool animals. Why'd you say it's a choice? Well, it's it is it is by you don't like it. No, I do I think it's so I think it hold on you might give me my baby. I just I just had hold on hold on give me my fucking baby Security give my fucking baby now. He yelling at me this is not his baby Frank give me my baby you son of a bitch we're gonna be okay we won't name you Walter that's a newborn we won't make you all this anymore and scene incredible acting yeah I would rescue your child named walrus

The way you were running and slamming a newborn Unbelievable not naming my child walrus, so there's that but Let me ask serious question. Okay, how much money? Would it take to give me the naming rights to your firstborn child? There's not an amount of money. Oh, so like for free? The other way. So like you'll pay me?

No, I feel like you're ignoring the obvious one that I'm saying, which is there isn't enough an amount. You don't trust me to name your child? I don't want you to name my child. It's not about wanting. It's not about trust. It is trust. It isn't trust Do you think I would name him something or her?

Uh-huh. Oh my god. I said him first though Do you think pregnant? Do you think I Would pick a good name It's not about that I'm asking that though. Do I think you would pick a good name yeah your kids have good names thank you would you let them do the middle name hmm no would you let me do that was more intense than the first

name and yeah why is the middle name more important because it's like that like that changes something like it's naming a child mm-hmm got it Joey's that's the overall reason why it's gonna be the most like traditional white names for children. Like it'll be like, you know, like Maria Angelina and like Joseph William. He's looking at me, isn't he? He is looking at you. You're talking about my unborn children

in a disrespectful way. No. And I told you that your kids have great names. My kids do have great names and I appreciate that. I'm just, I need to protect. Right. Protect what? Your kids from you. Right.

Let's see. This kid's gonna be... Can I just see him? You have him apparently. Oh that's right. Stop running. Anyway, I think that's all we have for today. But guys, don't forget, like we said,

we are adding a third show in Toronto on August 5. Tickets go on sale at noon June 2, which should be today, if you're watching it on YouTube on the day this comes out. June 2, thebasemeyard.com. Tickets go on sale at noon. August 5th, we'll see you there in Toronto. And also, there's tickets to other shows that are available as well.

Go to thebasemeyard.com, get your tickets there. Fill out the forms so that we can interact with you guys during the show. Thebasemeyard.com slash submit to do any of that. And yeah, we're going to find you. With your baby somewhere. You know thebasementyard.com slash submit to do any of that and yeah We're gonna find you With your baby somewhere. Yeah, I have your child walrus with me I'll try to get Frank to act out a scene where I have a weird name of a baby, and then he's kidnapped it I don't know how we got there things happen things absolutely have it

You know where to find me f-alvers885 on Twitter X Whatever the Frank Calverary's everywhere else. And then the basement yard. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Go see the shows, go bang, bang, boom. Bang, bang, bang, boom. Walrus and I are gonna start a new life in my purchased property in Frankfurt, Germany.

Enjoy that. I hear it's actually kind of nice, Frankfurt, Germany. All right. Yeah, so you're just letting me leave with your kid? That's all. We'll see you guys next time. I have a jet and I'm coming over with a jungle cat and a jet ski and I'm gonna kill you. I mean, the jungle cat won't be able to differentiate me from the baby. It'll probably eat the baby first because that's quicker. We'll see you guys next time.