The Basement Yard - #507 - We're Going To The Major Leagues

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

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Starting point is 00:00:24 Find an agent today at DesjDen.com slash business coverage welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard I'm here with Padre Frank I don't know why that works and you're trying to use that as a yeah right I am a Padre Frank. I don't know why that works. And you're trying to use that as a, yeah. Right. I am a Padre by definition. True.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Because I am a dad. And Hispanic as well. And see, yeah. That's a layered thing that I said there. Listen man, we have layered jokes here. Our comedy doesn't just hit the surface. It goes deep. It's like an onion.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Well, now that you say that goes deep, mine doesn't make sense. No way. It goes deep like an onion. Yeah, now that you say that goes deep mine doesn't make sense It goes deep like an onion. Yeah, yeah, it has layers sure but like our comedy Like it goes deep like what's something that goes deep big penises in when I see I didn't in women I didn't I mean they go in men. Can you really get that deep in there though? I don't know This is a wild way to start Even a minute in how in God's name have we dug this hole for? How deep do you think a vagina is? I?
Starting point is 00:01:30 Let's just like get it out there. What's the ultimate max? uh Just a guess how deep can we get in there? I don't know dude. I know how do we can get in there I'm not talking about us we We're not talking about why are we we're talking about what's an absolute? Biological are we going by what are we doing are we I mean it's biological so we need to go centimeters So now I don't know you've lost me well two point five four centimeters is one inch You know okay, so so how many Sims?
Starting point is 00:02:04 So I would say because you could get stuff in there I would say like 10 Sims Frankie it's like five inches no is it think that's the old no it ain't no it ain't no it ain't yeah no no no it's more it's a 20 20 Sims yeah that's like I don't know if that's right. That's like what eight what's the ultimate depth? That's It's not five inches. I don't know sir Should we go I feel like we should pay more respect and we should go by like another unit of measurement not Cms or inches like fathoms or something what's fathoms? It's fathoms you guys know fathoms. You know fathoms or something. What's fathoms? It's fathoms. You guys know fathoms. You know fathoms, right?
Starting point is 00:02:45 I know what the word fathom mean, but I don't know as like- Like 20,000 fathoms, 20,000 leagues under the sea, and there's fathom, a fathom. We're pirates now? I mean, you know, I feel like a woman's berganga is, it should be spoken of in more reverence than just something like inches and CMs and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Who's being disrespectful? I'm saying biologically, how far does it go? I, first of all, we've already established that I speak for women on this show. Okay. And I'm telling them, I'm telling you, not them, I don't tell them, I tell them to. He's being disrespectful. I don't even know what you're saying. What is a fathom? It is a unit of measurement, I know that. But...
Starting point is 00:03:23 To who? Shakespeare? I think to like Moby Dick or someone, well that's the whale. That is the whale. What is a fathom? It is a unit of measurement, I know that. But to who? Shakespeare? I think to like Moby Dick or someone. That's the whale. That is the whale. Captain Ahab is the guy who might use fathoms. I don't know what that is. I would say like eight inches is like the like, but like there's like-
Starting point is 00:03:37 Do you have an answer? I have an answer. I know, yeah. I don't think it's eight, I think it's more. I think it's like, you've been to the lake house, right? How are you gonna make it a comparison? The end of the lake house, have you ever gone kayaking all the way
Starting point is 00:03:53 at the end of the lake house? Yeah. You know how it's like the water, it comes to like, and then it like further goes more like a brook. So maybe it's just like, it's like vagina, and then it's just like there's like Pathways in the back to a point alleyways in the back. It comes to a point I don't know if point is the right way. I don't really know what that is a Delta is the opening of a river
Starting point is 00:04:14 I think into the yeah into the sea crazy, we know that I mean, I Wonder if women even know the answer to this I think it's an interesting question I would think that they would know better than us sure but like if you ask me a question a biological question about a penis I'd be like well because I think maybe is there
Starting point is 00:04:37 a mostly uniform answer for women's vaginas because I'm sure there's men's pee-pees men's pee-pees are yeah, they're different Difference okay, yeah some some minor differences some major differences right for some of us right some of us Some of us don't don't don't do that don't do that. I'm itchy. Yeah, all right. I'm sure But like is it like a So there's like an answer of like a roundabout it's an average it's an average I'm gonna say I'm gonna say eight I'm gonna say 11 whoa dude that's a half a foot that's a you're in belly button territory now oh
Starting point is 00:05:15 I was talking about inches oh I'm saying I actually was talking it's a foot that's about a foot yeah belly button territory You were saying what I was saying eight eight Inches yeah, okay. Yeah, what do we got? It's? Okay, it's sexual arousal. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa sexual arousal Oh, so it can expand a little bit, but it reaches depths of about four point seven inches No, it doesn't Sexual arousal this thing is just like fucking like pulling like a it's like I'm It's like you okay there, buddy Wait, it's like a fucking rabbit in a man a hat and a magician's hat and she like that about like
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah, that's not true. That's what it says Certain people are different. It could pretty much max go up to seven, but that's rare That can't be true. I I am opting to believe it because That's why I don't think that's true. I mean then how bro, I mean, let's just like seriously like how bro How how did like you know with with like maybe maybe it's kind of like one of those avenues that like turns Into a different Avenue like random yeah like at the end of like I 95 it becomes like route 386 exactly like maybe that's like Oh, that's that's that's yeah, maybe after a while. It's no longer the vagina and now it's like now We're now we're in different territory. I'm talking about full depth dude to be clear here, right?
Starting point is 00:06:44 We've all seen a bit of porn in our lives. Those dudes don't have orange penises and their penises are all the way in there. They're in there. That's what I'm saying. So it can't be four. I just, at what point does it become like, like, you're just like, digging, you're making a new hole in there. Right. Like you're. I don't think that's POS. Well POS well like I imagine like if it's a finite amount of space and stuff gotta go in places what happens it's really just a miracle organ kind of here's the thing just like it could it could it could just do it all it could just do it all I mean it is. It is. I'm not trying to blow smoke up anybody right now. I'm not trying to blow smoke up your vagina. What an amazing thing.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Really, really cool. Cool? Frank, we are beyond cool. I mean really sick. I mean really sick. We're I Mean really sick. I mean like what are we talking like bro? That's the closest thing that we have to magic It's a portal. It is support. It is a life-creating portal Like you only see what like bro video games dude, bro See now I have this at least once a year where I'm like how are we doing that? How's that happen? Oh women are how are they doing that bro, and it fucks you up
Starting point is 00:08:07 Once you experience your partner having children It's like that came out of that. Yo you were there and like you were nothing and then she made you something With this and then you grow tall and then you grow this and these and these and he looks like this You and this and one of these sometimes you know obviously and I always and I always think about how like a Baby is born and it's got that stuff. It's already got it all it doesn't have it all I mean, but it's in there It's in there to get it all if I just got to earth Got it got to the earth, and then you put a naked woman in front of me like a baby comes there. Where does it come from? That's like bottom three places. I'm gonna guess that's number one place
Starting point is 00:08:51 Well, if you didn't know anything about like bird if it was bottom three places Their toes immediately I would say mouth. I don't know Sure. Yeah, you know It is crazy like right like every person person you know was grown in another person What the hell was hmm? What do you think? Yeah? What do you know fucking Mr.. Bio? It's just aren't there new ones that don't need to be made in a person Aren't there what like the hell does what the hell are you say are you're a fuck? Oh, I hear what he's saying are you talking about like c-sections or something like a lab one?
Starting point is 00:09:26 He's talking about there are lab humans if there are there's one and it's Elon Musk. I don't know about anyone else though He does look like he spends a lot of time in water. I will his chest is way too puffed up. Mm-hmm Yeah, why is he built like that? I don't know like what's the the whale and spongebob pearl? built like that like I don't know like what's the the whale and SpongeBob pearl oh no he's built like Larry the lobster yes that's who he's built like that works too I mean minus the muscle I don't know don't hit us Elon minus the color and the color very white he is quite right quite right um yeah I don't know women women and like that that whole fucking process is legit magic, dude It's magic and I refuse to see it as anything else
Starting point is 00:10:10 We just call it science because we don't want to call it magic because it'll freak out people. It's magic Also like or what does Thor say? From your world. It's called magic from mine. It's called science That was my Chris Hemsworth Thor impression that wasn't bad right that was Thor one I believe came out 2000 I want to say a no that was first Avenger right 2010 it might have been spent time working this out because he was talking with Natalie Portman's character dr. Jane Foster I was kidding the last minute I haven't cared about
Starting point is 00:10:42 kidding the last minute I haven't cared about um directed by Kenneth Barana just want to throw that out there esteemed thespian awarded thespian Kenneth Barana who I think holds the record for playing Hamlet the most you know Kenneth Barana
Starting point is 00:10:58 let's take a poll of the room about who cares hands up if you give a shit you know why you care about Kenneth Barana cause he played that horny guy in the wheelchair in Waa W while West that's two weeks a while while West Mentions first of all I remember there being a horny guy in a wheelchair that turns into the spider with the swirly twirly mustache Where he's like oh, and he punches him. He's like and he spins around Do your impression of a guy in a wheelchair again? I'm not doing an impression of a guy in a wheelchair.
Starting point is 00:11:25 I'm doing an impression of Kenneth Branagh in Wild Wild West. Who just so happened to be in a wheelchair that also became a spider. Your brain can do so many things. It really can. Not more things than the vagina though. The vagina is amazing and it's definitely deeper than four inches. Let's get that out of the way. He's trying to convince himself there.
Starting point is 00:11:43 He said twelve. I know yeah, bro 12 bro, you'd be in there. There'd be room for a fucking furniture in there I'm not saying that like it's just 12 all the time But yeah, you said you said during sexual arousal like they're like what is that like they open up like the mouth of a predator Yeah, four play open up a little bit, right? Yeah, but Don't make hand gestures During four play you know during during like for player you know you open up slender yeah like you could
Starting point is 00:12:16 like definitely find ways to open it it's crazy now I'm like you open the pants and then put something in the dead You know in my head I put grapes in there don't ask why in where the pants you put grapes in the pants Yeah, I'll say this this is weird But now I'm really thinking about it if I had tight underwear on you want you filled them with great You'd be pump feel like that would be a nice you'd be pumped I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I don't absolutely want to Put grapes in your pants dudes like roll around in grapes like all those people that stomp grapes
Starting point is 00:12:53 And they're like I can't get them all dude. How you're a human Use your feet to fuck up these grapes. You just said all those people I have never heard anyone say that what are you consuming? I've seen videos of people stomping grapes, and they're all like I can't get all the great. Yeah, cuz there's a lot of grapes Bro, put me in a vat of grapes. I'm going through that vat in two minutes tops. You're just gonna stop around Oh, yeah, you're gonna tell me you wouldn't stop grapes with me. Hell. Yeah, there's got to be a vineyard somewhere in the metropolitan area Whether it be Long Island, Jersey. I think I told you, but in Portugal, they have a wine that is only stepped on by women.
Starting point is 00:13:31 I was like, that's crazy. There's a lot of- It says it on the menu, women's stepped only. There's a lot of tea, specifically white tea, that like, the tradition is that it's only picked by like, virgin Chinese women Don't I'm not saying I agree with that have a cup of tea without all this without sex being involved You know are like we can't have a glass of wine without being like oh feet come on
Starting point is 00:13:58 Well, I mean you you've had wines that you have described as farty so like there's of all the waitress said that what if I got it big business for I already know you're about a business Frank is back a vineyard and all of the wine has been crushed by vaginas okay you okay? how does one crush a grape with their vaginas? so like they'll put it in underwear and then like run against the wall or something? and you're gonna sell this to... the method in which it is being done I might
Starting point is 00:14:40 not have down packed but the idea bro people are making beers with their this is crazy by the way that I'm seeing Yeah, you're fine they're making beers that are like made with like the yeast like vaginal yeast and shit like that Yeah, are they? Yeah, there was a streamer that did that a couple years ago streamer that did that a couple years ago. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's face of such defeat knowing he has to look up vagina wine. Let me check this out. Make sure. Vagina beer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:11 I think, and it doesn't necessarily need to be like vagina crushing, but like, if it's like, you're going to tell me, bro, it's going to happen. What? Because we have other stuff that we wanted to talk about this episode where like, this is most likely going to happen happen where it's like this wine all the grapes were crushed under the weight of Jennifer Aniston sitting on them you think that's not gonna happen sure I mean, I don't think specifically Maybe not specifically Jennifer Aniston. She does well for herself. She probably doesn't need that
Starting point is 00:15:40 I think that it might be harder to crush grapes efficiently in that way, but when you can get sitting on them But like just getting a bunch of women to like stop the grapes like you normally would They have stomping parties do that at this no at this venue. That's what they said They like the girls giving us the tour was like they have They have like parties, so it's like at midnight, like after everything, and they just like drink wine, they stomp the grapes. I'm like, that sounds fire. What do they have to do when they have to pee? Go to the bathroom?
Starting point is 00:16:11 Yeah, but like how do they get out and then get back in? They're covered in grape juice. Their feet are? Yeah. So what do they get out and walk to the bathroom and then come back. I imagine there's some like foot prep. Hose off. But like if it's a very sought after grape, then you're losing that grape juice. Maybe they can hold it. I don't know how long, that's such a weird question to even ask.
Starting point is 00:16:37 I don't think they're peeing into the grapes. If that's your concern. You might've just opened up a new business because you know that there are people that are gonna be pumped about that These are grapes that were stopped by women and then men pissed in them So well don't know about that, but you know what I do know about But do you know about a spring our boys are back on tour, baby?
Starting point is 00:16:55 We're back the basement yard is well. We're not back yet. Well, we're close. We're on the close. We're on the clothes We're on the clothes. We're going going back. We're on the close. We're going back. We're opening up in Kansas City and St. Louis over in Missouri. Yeah. Or, how, they say it differently out there. Missouri-ah. That's what my... Is that, let me guess, your dad said that. Your dad just... No, not my dad. My, uh, like, my history teacher from like seventh grade used to say Missouri-ah, and Victoria, and Winder Soder
Starting point is 00:17:27 Are you better off for having known that now and? You don't get to do that. I guess you just said that whole thing Remember I had to do it. What did I say about no idea? That's how pointless it was well you Wild West Wild Wild West well while good movie right it's really not that good Wild Wild West. Wild Wild West. It was a good movie. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:45 It's really not that good. He was making fun of people in a wheelchair? He did. No! Don't do that! I didn't make fun of anyone in wheelchairs. No, I didn't. I was just making sure.
Starting point is 00:17:57 No, no, no. But yeah, we're back. We're back. We're back at it. For those of you guys that have not seen, go check it out. You can get tickets to the shows. There are some shows that still have tickets available go to the basement yard comm We're very excited Going to cities that we didn't do last year returning to some cities that that we did do last year
Starting point is 00:18:16 Uh-huh, and then a lot of people been asking about the New York show Deets are coming. Listen, these are are coming. We're cooking, okay? We're ordering the groceries. You get what I'm saying? More stuff that you're creating on the spot, I can tell. So go check it out and then if you are coming to any of those shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit a portion of the shows we like them to be interactive. We like to talk to you about you, with you, or people that you know.
Starting point is 00:18:43 It's fun. What? Say that every time we like to talk with you about you at you or whatever you say well? It's true some people some people also don't like that some people like I want to tell the story But keep me anonymous we won't ask for and you could be kept anonymous Do you say talk at you or try to make that up? With you I said with you about you and to you I Think at was in there. I don't think think so I think you just threw at in there and now you're trying to gaslight me I could have I don't know but I don't know about the gas lighting do you think
Starting point is 00:19:13 that's overused in today's society sliding I'd never really use it I'm back on manipulate oh you're back on that you've given up on gaslight in your yeah I'm just like I'm not gonna use that I only use it in like a joking way Gotcha, but well, let's I only say it to you But like I'll just say I'd rather say manipulate never say that to me Roll the tape the joke sure there's a fucking the joke is that I just did it. Oh, that's the joke That's the joke and we did it remember. I told you about how deep our comedy goes That's that's seven inches deeper than four inches
Starting point is 00:19:49 Yeah, yeah, you say a max seven fuck yeah, but yeah, so go check it out the basement. Err comm slash submit We're I'm excited. Yeah, and we're going to Missouri never been there never been in Missouri. decided to go there I have heard I've heard things I can't I don't know you but I'm excited I'm excited apparently the barbecue gonna have to do we're gonna have to gonna have to do the barbecue if there is if a city is known for barbecue daddy's daddy's up and up that cholesterol score you know what I'm saying Frank's gonna chew on a bone. That was crazy. That's not even nice.
Starting point is 00:20:26 You could have said it any other way. I don't even know what I meant to say. Frank's going to take your meat. Also a bad way to say it. You know that was worse than what I said. No, honestly, I did. Chew on a bone is way better than take your meat. Yeah, there are worse ways to have said it.
Starting point is 00:20:42 But oddly enough, we are going to San Diego. That's our second trip The boys we're getting called up we're getting called up from a 14 year old league was the last time we played baseball Also last year we had our we are stint in the minors Oh, we had a stint in the minors your first pitch for the Bowie Bay Sox. Yep Thank you, and those pitches went so well. I think there were scouts there and we didn't know that there were we clearly forgot Yeah, how many scouts were there right and then we got the call up to the to the to the show this year as they say Exactly. And now the San Diego Padres Padres reached out to us and they were like you guys when I throw out the
Starting point is 00:21:27 first pitch and I was like yeah yeah yeah I do and I'm gonna burn this one in there so I can confirm that I have at least been doing stretches I need to have a better showing last year this is the majors now we don't know who may be watching we we do know but like we don't know like there are some players that might be there and just be like yo like these guys like legit give him an at bat I'm trying to well we're gonna be throwing a pitch I know but like maybe they'll see us be like if you could throw so well maybe you could also hit real well that's what they're gonna that's what they're gonna think I think I'm hoping for that like
Starting point is 00:22:03 rookie of the year moment where I just throw a burner and they go, whoa, let's give this guy like a look. And you want to get, wait, so just to be clear. Yeah. You want to leave your current position to become a major league baseball pitcher. Closer, Frank. Close, oh, gotcha. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:19 So you want to make your life significantly harder than what it currently is. I don't want to Be the closer. I want to be a closer You know what closer is a pie closer is you could be a setup man you could be a middle reliever long reliever. Yeah But like I'll mostly just eat seeds You know so you you know what I want to hang in the dugout with the other guys and just munch seeds Yeah, and just munch seeds. Yeah. And just, you know, with people, you know, how there's people around, there's like all over the field, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:22:51 Spitting seeds in nature. If it's not littering is sick in nature is hilarious. But yeah, the Padres are really hooking it up and we've never thrown out a first bitch out of major league baseball game before. And this is like insane. Yeah. Super huge honor. We we are Really really excited. Shout out to the Padres and if you're in the area come to the game, dude
Starting point is 00:23:12 Come to the game. I don't know where we're gonna be sitting But I will say this it is you have our permission to buy Frank hot dogs. Hold on They have our permission for that I'm just first of all, it's straw hat night. Sighted about it. So pumped, dude. I'm not even kidding. If I get a straw hat, I'm going to scream. Chances are we're getting a straw hat.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Should. But yeah, it was when we did it with the Bay Sox. They were like that was so fun. So we are so excited for this. Like, it's just it's it's insane. Like you grow up watching But we grew up massive baseball fans and like ESPN always covers like oh look at this first pitch Okay, we have an opportunity. We do we do I think like right now. I want to burn one in there I think but but but but but but we we could do something cooler than that we could throw a
Starting point is 00:24:04 Horrible pitch and that'll be on ESPN. We could... Whether it's a family member, friend, or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muscogee or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Condition supply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Also like do something like Simone Biles will go out there and do a flip and then throw a pitch. Right. We could go out there. I'll get on your shoulders! What if we pitch this to the Padres? What if we had them set up a desk with two mics and we throw the first pitch like from this angle? Ugh, two on the note. Doo doo doo doo. Two on the notes? Ooh, doo doo doo doo doo. What if I get on your shoulders? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Right? Mm-hmm. And then they get a catcher and then the other catcher gets on his shoulders. And we throw at the same time? Yeah. To each each of the catchers right that's not a bad idea That's a horrible idea, but I kind of like it. Yeah, no no no I let's just to be clear I'm not confident. I can hold you on my shoulders Do you think they do any like flyovers that we like jump out of a plane and like land on third base or something? It's a good question one that I thought about quite a bit. I think the answer is yes
Starting point is 00:25:23 Oh, or maybe they have an eagle that flies around. Let's be very clear about something. The food is going to get demolished. Oh, God, the food! I looked up the food at the table. I looked it up, too! There is some... We're gonna eat well.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I haven't been... I just went to a baseball game. I haven't gotten to, like like that many in my life I mean I have but like I guess I haven't indulged in this part of the baseball experience in a while well the desserts at baseball games I know they are stepping it up they know what they're doing I don't know what they're with their with their you know who they're hiring for this type of thing, but. I mean, you know, a lot of, I mean, we did a whole patron episode about baseball stadium food.
Starting point is 00:26:11 I know I've never seen any of that in the, in the, in the wild, in the real life, in the flesh, in the flesh. It's become like a mat, like now it's like a big thing. Before it was just like, you have a guy walking around screaming at you with hot dogs wrapped in foil that are Probably mush at this point. Yeah, you know you could get like a fucking wagyu cheeseburger, right? I usually you go to a game you get crackerjacks you get you know cotton candy Soda hot dog you go home, and you have diarrhea, but like now they have like really good stuff now
Starting point is 00:26:39 You go you get like three hot dogs. Yeah, and well yeah some of us still get diarrhea But that could be because of the amount of hot dogs oh careful absolutely be careful I don't like the way I'm just I I think we and I could speak on both of our behalf here we took we we we we were we had a lot of fun with the Maryland game with the Bowie Bay Sox game Okay, we need to take this serious. This is a huge step. This could be Sports center den and then and then you know what I'm saying like in the not top ten plays of the day or the top Ten plans plays of the day right it could be such a boring day across sports. Should I throw a knuckler I? Don't think anyone calls it that I
Starting point is 00:27:22 Should I throw a knuckler? I don't think anyone calls it that. I think we have a real cool opportunity here. And we need to hit this out of the park. What pitch are you gonna throw? The only one I can. Four seam? Yeah. What do you think I'm throwing?
Starting point is 00:27:38 You think I...bro...if you think I could throw anything other than a four seam... I'm gonna throw a cutter. I'm just gonna Google it. I think you could throw a cutter It's probably not that hard to throw a cutter I threw a cutter once in my entire life a good cutters probably hard it's the only pitch I've ever thrown with movement and But our boss taught me how to throw it oddly enough I've thrown a lot of pitches with movement, but the movement is usually when the better hits the ball and it moves
Starting point is 00:28:08 Them all yeah, you know what you're right yeah most pitches I've thrown that have movement the movement is from my hand into the ground. The movement is me to the dugout because I've been pulled by the coach. Yeah I was put in to pitch one game in my entire time playing baseball as a kid. Really? Yeah. Yep it was when I played for the Elm Jack White Sox in Pony. There you go. I did so happen to have a custom White Sox jersey, which was the ultimate try hard thing to wear to my games.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Yeah. Checks? Yeah. Was this a start or were you like in the mid? No, start. Oh, you started this game? Yep. So you got, how far through this, how many outs?
Starting point is 00:28:42 Four batters. Four batters? Yeah., they all hit home runs Good I walked every single one of them. I Walked every single one. That's it. And guess how many pitches I threw in total Say 16 it was 16. So four straight walks Literally after the third walk for the last my like for the last batter my coach came out and he was just like just like you're playing toss so I just started throwing like I was playing toss and I still walk them it wasn't
Starting point is 00:29:14 good their coaches probably like nobody swing that I mean yeah he's why would you swing yeah why would you swing I I don't think we won that game but we had a fun time doing it maybe you did no no I didn't sure your teammates. I was very upset. You know I've never hit a home run in my life Doesn't matter though because I'm throwing out a first pitch and I'm burning that bitch Yeah, hey to the our friends over at the San Diego Padres Yeah, they sent us these jerseys which you know me. This is my third Padres Jersey Yeah, and my second Padres hat Second but we really appreciate it. We're really excited to be out there guys if you're coming. It's the game on July 9th
Starting point is 00:29:58 I believe Mm-hmm. It's the game against the Diamondbacks Come out. See us go to a baseball game. We're Padres fans. Have a hot dog. We're excited. We hope you're excited. Thank you to our friends at the Padres and we'll see you in San Diego.
Starting point is 00:30:15 San Diego. We do have some sponsors to get to. Oh my god. Sanhub! We have some sponsors to get to. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. We have some sponsors to get to. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, so BetterHelp is online therapy for those of you who don't know.
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Starting point is 00:35:08 Apple takes a little bit extra from you. Go check it out. Thank you to all the people that have helped us get to where we are. Over 34,000 paid patrons. It means the world to us. And also, like I said at the top of the show, we're doing those shows, the live shows this year, so there are some tickets that still are available in some cities.
Starting point is 00:35:24 So go check them out, thebasementyard yard comm and if you're coming to any of those shows already gear up we're getting ready it's gonna be a good time the basement yard comm slash submit all right we'll see you folks out there it's gonna be a big old party yeah I mean we should probably talk about the fact that Sydney Sweeney is selling her bath water via soap. Yeah. Which I- Can I say this? Genius.
Starting point is 00:35:50 A lot of people talk this shit on the internet being like, Oh, I would love to buy her bath water. Fucking pony up, where's the bread now? Well, hold up. Here's the thing is, I can see both sides of the argument. I- Where I- What I truly believe is like, You know what, girl? Fucking good for you. Exploit these fucking losers that are gonna buy this shit.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Woah, with the losers. Now we're judging. Joey? I- hold on. Hold on. First of all, it released and sold out already. Duh. It was like a thousand bars. I got two bars on the way. Shut the fuck up. Oh my god, dude. See what I mean by losers? That would have been the fuck up. Oh my god dude.
Starting point is 00:36:26 See what I mean by losers? I tried, I tried. Did you really try? Just for the story, right? Yeah, I tried. You're not like, cause see then you're the outlier. Most of the people that are buying this are fucking losers. Wow. Sorry, I said most. So if it's you you that bought this maybe I'm not talking about you
Starting point is 00:36:53 Not you the other people a great way to say but like they're not buying it for soap they're buying it for being horny yeah If I did get it and brought it in you smell it I Mean yeah, so I'm also convinced like do it did she really get in the bath so Apparently she took a bath and then like they just used the water in the soap mixture. Yeah. That's hilarious. I honestly, like I said, this is a great idea. Good for her. For fucking...
Starting point is 00:37:14 Like... Good for them too! Here's the thing, I'm gonna get on my soap box for a sec. Okay. You ready? These fucking companies are sexualizing her and profiting off of her sexuality anyways, so she's able to strike a deal where she could fucking profit off of that shit. Yeah good for her over
Starting point is 00:37:31 That's what I'm saying like if you're gonna talk about that shit on the internet like oh, I'd buy your bathwater Let's see bro be honest for a second now get that soap out The people that bought this yeah What losers right i don't know like good for her but like i don't know i don't know these people i would i buy someone's bath i know for comedy though for comedy though they losers
Starting point is 00:37:58 you know say alright joey's taking the you know oh joey's taking it the king of all i don't know if it! The king! Oh, I don't know if we can talk about that! Oh, I don't- Now all of a sudden... Forgive me for calling... These people losers. Let me ask you- Let me ask you this- Because like, they're not doing it to get soap!
Starting point is 00:38:21 They're doing it because they're just... Like, this is their way of being like, sexually connected to Sydney Sweeney how many that's weird how many bars I think they only made like a thousand bars a thousand bars and I answer you think yeah he's pretending like he doesn't know exactly how many of those people do you think bought it as like a joke a hundred fifty people I think there's definitely people out there like I need this thing and I need like a joke. 150 people. I think there's definitely people out there like I need this thing and I need to chew on it. I can imagine.
Starting point is 00:38:51 What? I don't know. Listen, I don't think there's anyone on the planet. I Becca is so hot to me. But if she was like, here's a cup of my bath water, I'd be like, like, what am I supposed to do? Drink this? Cups a lot. That's weird. What'd you say? A cup's a lot. A shot?
Starting point is 00:39:08 That's better. Yeah, I mean definitely better than a cup. Yeah. Mm-hmm. There was a streamer that how much money to drink a Shot of my bath water not enough. What's not enough? I haven't even said no. I want to drink more what's not enough i haven't said no i want to drink more no honestly yeah who's paying you or like the people what does that mean because i'll probably love all them but i want more money from you i don't even know how to interpret that no like it's if let's just yet
Starting point is 00:39:42 there's like a cash amount that will appear. Hundred thousand dollars. Alright, but let's be-let's be realistic about something. Okay. It is a shot. Okay. And you wouldn't take it if there was fifty thousand dollars cash. Let me be something very clear. Fifty thousand dollars cash?
Starting point is 00:39:55 What? Let me be something very clear. Like a window pane. Or a windshield. Let me be abundantly clear here. Yeah. The internet thinks that we are Gaga for each other's balls right now. or a windshield let me be abundantly clear here yeah the internet thinks that we are gaga for each others balls right now you did that
Starting point is 00:40:12 me? yes no i did not joey how have i done this because you do this thing where you like you over there and you like you do this and then you say stuff i mean that's a playing up a character like i'm not like Actually there I have no sexual feelings toward you
Starting point is 00:40:31 But but if I it won't do it on the show but fifty thousand dollars cash for a shot You'll do mine for 50 G's for 50 G's no I'm not doing under 75, but I would do it probably. Bro, I would do it probably for less than that. Not doing under 75. 10. I would do it for less than 50. 10. You're doing 10, brother. I'll do it for 10. He would easily do it for 10.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Yeah, they'd be drinking like chimpanzee piss. He heard shot. He was like, I'll do it. Yeah. Whatever it is. I don't. I can't. I can't because I wouldn't be able to...
Starting point is 00:41:02 I would throw up. And... It would probably just taste like water. Yeah No, why not bath water now? What are we talking? How long is the soakage because that's a legitimate question? Like is it just like I get in I get out or am I like no no you got a steep You got a steep like tea. Yeah What's the steeping time?
Starting point is 00:41:23 Bath like you got bro. You've taken a bath and you, with no soap or anything, and you've stood up. That water's cloudy, my man. Wait, what? If I've gotten in a bath, and just stood... And you've sat in there for 40 minutes, that water's not coming out clear. 40 minutes? That's a long bath, baby. I've taken long baths, yeah. I don't know if I've done 40 minutes.
Starting point is 00:41:41 I've taken some fun, like long baths. I don't know why fun was in there. I've taken some fun like long bats. I don't know why fun was in there I've taken some fun bats with toys I've taken some fun bats, but it's the water's coming out cloud. I'll say 20 minutes But you have to figure some of that tastes like a soap or something. No. I just said no so I'll just get in and just yeah, dude. All right, whatever. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, like I would honestly like if someone had fifteen thousand dollars in cash. I would do it That's bananas. I'm not doing it for anything under 75 because that's so wild because one It's your money. I'll take it. I'll take it right
Starting point is 00:42:19 I'll believe you're like you want more of my money, but like strangers who you don't know you don't want theirs But you're gonna give them a were like, you want more of my money, but like strangers who you don't know, you don't want theirs. Like you're gonna give them a deal. Yeah, well they're kind. What am I? No, no, no, obviously I'm joking. Not a penny under 60. You see how I chopped 40% off of this price already?
Starting point is 00:42:43 I feel like you can keep going. We can get them down. No, no, no, no. I'm standing firm. It's someone you know, at least. Yeah. That's worse, dude. It's not worse. It's way worse.
Starting point is 00:42:51 I'm doing it. Because every time I see you, I'm gonna have to think I tasted you. Jesus. That's why it's miserable. I mean, I'm not thinking about it like that. That's like a very weird, I wouldn't be like, yo, I tasted you.
Starting point is 00:43:04 That's the way it is though. So if I drank your bath water, you'd walk in here like, yo, you've tasted me, you little bitch. No, I wouldn't throw it in your fucking, no, I wouldn't do that. But like, for instance, if you were to have a cup of coffee from a company, if someone were to say like, oh, this company,
Starting point is 00:43:22 oh, I've had their coffee. They, you know, like, I've had their food, I've been to their, you know like yeah I've had their food I'm into there you know him but I don't think that's gonna come up in conversation like oh you know Frank but yeah I've had his bath water it's not gonna come up I think not a penny under 60 but even if someone asks you'd be like why'd you do that like oh yeah I got 20 racks oh all right yeah you went up to 20. What was I at? I think you said 15 all right crazy. Would you do it for a hundred bucks? No no no I wouldn't I wouldn't eat anything for a hundred dollars. You wouldn't eat a steak for a hundred dollars
Starting point is 00:43:55 Well that I would eat for so there you go. What if that steak was sloppy with bath water? Sloppy's a slobber. You know that's coming um No No, we're talking about like you know thousands of dollars here Slavies of Slav-a-lots! You know that's coming. Um, no. No, we're talking about like, you know, thousands of dollars here. But I would much rather do yours than a person who I don't know. I am shocked you haven't at least thought about the idea of selling your bathwater. That's shocking to you? Yeah, I mean, you could, you'll do well for yourself.
Starting point is 00:44:24 You don't think you could sell some bathwater you could, you'll do well for yourself. You don't think you could sell some bath water over there? Not nearly as much as you. Regardless. Whether that's true or not, we don't know. I think the reality of the situation, and I'm not like baiting people to be like, no, let's drink Frank's bath water. I think that you would probably just have a more marketable bath water.
Starting point is 00:44:42 It's all about pricing, baby. Fair. It's all about pricing. But if we price stars at the exact same amount $50 for a pint Whoa a pint Yeah, bro. You could take you could take four bats a day and you could make what the hell are you talking about? Sell that take four bats a day. Yeah I'd be a pruney. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:45:06 But you can market them as different stuff. So this is like the morning batch. You know how coffee roasters will be like, this is our exclusive roast. Someone's creating a marketing deck over there. You need the after workout batch. Yeah, of course. Need that one.
Starting point is 00:45:21 You can do a morning brew. Oh, god. Now when you say it like that, it's disgusting. You could do a morning brew, you know. Oh god, that's disgusting. Now when you say it like that it's disgusting. You can do a post-workout recovery brew. Post-workout shake, yeah. Then you could do like a dinner and then like a late night. A dessert. A dessert one where you throw like a, you throw like Epsom salt in there. Right. Although you probably shouldn't drink Epsom salt. How much like that a shot I'm asking you now is $75,000 is insane all right a shot of Frank's bathwater for eight thousand
Starting point is 00:45:59 dollars cash cash cash untraceable not on camera not on camera no yeah what about on camera I would want a couple a little more okay a little more like 95 come on you can work with me you can get to ten so ten ten yeah ten ten seems like a good number even though I feel like he would hold it over me more than you so that's why I need a little more right yeah Yeah, that's true. I mean no if you in confidence He wants it he what he yeah, he would use it. He was like cup people with you know you drink Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, I I would if it happened off cameras in confidence. No one would ever know about it I'm I would be a steel trap. Okay, but if I'll be you did it on an episode us. No
Starting point is 00:46:46 No Okay, but if all but you did it on an episode us no No, let's go drink my bath water. Oh see this is this is not this is Why is he shaking his head? Yes, and I'm saying it. He doesn't owe me. What's to whoa dude? Well, don't look at me now You're in a heated argument Frankie would definitely go why don't you just go drink my bath? No hundred percent No, I would not there's way more of a chance of you saying that than me. What was the last time you argued with me? I'm very that's our job Serious setting I'm not saying you would I'm saying there's just more a chance sure one in a billion one in a billion point one Whatever helps you sleep, baby. I figured this he's gonna need an extra two thousand
Starting point is 00:47:33 Frankie I'm just trying to get more what about this? I support you and you know what yeah, I would bring it up Because we're doing this apparently we're not doing this All I wanted to say about this was that- The Sydney Sweeney, now we're back on that? We're back on the Sydney Sweeney thing. Good for her. How much was the soap? Oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:52 I don't know. I think it was like $8 a bar or something like that. Oh, that's a steal. Good for her for getting the bag. Good for her. The people that are buying this, if I, like if you legitimately told me, like I'm a huge fan of Sydney Sweeney And I bought it because there are people out there. That's what most of the people buying it are. It's we don't know that though
Starting point is 00:48:12 You're right. We're assuming you're right. I think a lot of people I think you'd be like Like I think it would be funny if we like if that's why I was excited when you said you got two bars I tried I was like that would be funny to have it was easier to get the switch than the Like I'm not gonna get. Because there was only like a thousand made of the soap. Yeah, it's very hard. It's harder to get this soap. Like I'm not saying I'm excited to get it
Starting point is 00:48:32 because I wanna smell it and gnaw on it. But I think if you were to ask me, based off of who she is in pop culture, she's known as like a Good looking icon. Yes, I Think it's a fair assumption to make yeah that I will say 80% of the people that are buying these Bars of soap are doing it with like sexual gratification in mind Do you think that you really think that's unfair I
Starting point is 00:49:06 Just think there's no way to tell Yes, Joey. I know you're taking like a legitimate approach. I'm for the sake of I mean I think that like there's a there's an equal he he's ha ha's for the sake of that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying That's why people would just don't know I mean, how do we measure something like this? Do we have the proper synergistic methods of measurement? Fucking business guy over here, bro It's crazy. I feel like we flip-flop personalities on this episode I'm saying I'm saying I'm not ready to say that there wasn't a lot of people that bought that I was like
Starting point is 00:49:37 This is gonna be a funny thing or like I think a more realistic is like people bought it They know they could resell it now fair the res resale market, that might be 90%! I wonder! Google that! Google the resale markets. It's in between 80 and 150 dollars a bar. And that's lower than I thought it would be. I honestly was expecting in the 3s. I think the people need to get the bar first because they have to, you know, it's kind of they're selling the pre-sale, you know what I mean? Got you! Create some distance from the whole thing. the here is what does it smell like you think it smells like legs I'm so glad you brought that up because the scent that it has on
Starting point is 00:50:15 the thing first of all can I just listen I they sponsor they were dr. squash yeah first of all this is a genius thing that they're doing. Yes, just get that out of the way Yeah, yeah, they probably pitched her on and be like, you know That's like a tongue-in-cheek type of thing and being like it would be funny if you did this and she was like fuck Yeah, let's do it She's like I've worked on cars. Oh Is it like post working on a car? She's like a mechanic isn't so the the the whoever wrote the blurb for it It says the perfect combination of the two best places on the planet
Starting point is 00:50:52 the outdoors and Sydney Sweeney's bathtub Come on Come on and Tong in she I know but like come on and then it says here it's first of all grit level medium what does that even begin to mean I love dr. squatches soaps oh I love how they have the grit yeah dude there's one that has like oatmeal in it what's that called the pine tar one oh yes yes they have one that has like full-on pieces of oats in it I love I love dr. squatches so I love putting a bar on me I actually love their deodorant too I
Starting point is 00:51:27 use their deodorant yo I don't really fuck with like body wash I do like I use it but like I would much rather a bar like a bar feels like I'm getting clean I both so I it's a part of my body wash routine I start with a bar and then I end with body wash for the fragrance on the same place well I bought it so I
Starting point is 00:51:43 body wash with I bar wash bar wash the whole body and then I wash it off. And then you do? And then I do body wash. Interesting. So you double wash. Oh yeah, hell yeah. You can't be, you gotta be careful. The smell is uh
Starting point is 00:52:05 no frills delivers get groceries delivered to your door from no frills with pc express shop online and get 15 in pc optimum points on your first five orders shop now at no frills dot ca morning wood naturally, naturally i will say this, minus the whole like Sydney Sweeties bathwater part of it it's it sounds like it smells good smells like it's not so it sounds like it smells great what is it pine yep Douglas fur and earthy moss
Starting point is 00:52:39 earthy moss just like an earthy clean smell to it. I love a fur. I love pine So are they confirmed that like she actually got in a bath like that in the ingredients list it says a touch of Sydney Sweeney's bath water yeah, I Mean I imagine that it has to and if it doesn't touch Cuz well If you're if you're one of those losers right if I'm buying this thing, if I'm buying this thing. If you're if you're one of those losers, right if I'm buying this thing You know, I assume you want some sort of like forgive me funk Maybe that's the earthy part of it. I
Starting point is 00:53:18 Was expecting more Sweeney on the nose, right? What is what does that smell like like they could call anything this smells like Sydney Sweeney and no one would know but the People close to her he's talking about like your palate like oh, I'm getting Sydney Sweeney on the nose You're smelling it you could smell Sydney Sweeney Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying how would anyone know what she smells like you can do anything and say this is what Sydney Sweeney smells Like well, it was a comedy joke. I think oh Now we're not doing comedy jokes comedy joke I think oh now we're not doing comedy now we're now we're doing comedy jokes mr. well I can't tell how many people that bought them are losers
Starting point is 00:53:52 well I know anything you're like 80% of the people who bought this no I said I said it's a fair assumption to make of course I don't think our people that listen I love people I don't think people are losers. Everyone has a story that I love and I get behind. Unless they are buying soap because it is specifically marketed as having been steeped with Sydney Sweeney. That's the thing. It better be steeped. Like if I'm gonna if I'm gonna get to the point where like you know fuck it. I'm about to buy bath water. Better be bath water in this thing and not like a molecule of bath water I've been duped now by the system but we don't know this is crazy just no way to
Starting point is 00:54:34 tell we're gonna find out how you're gonna buy it off a secondary market I can't yeah what I'm gonna do I'm a smell ago is it smells like shit not only would I not buy this but could you imagine like if you're a couple and like You're bathing with it, and you're significant others like what the hell is that? Bro if I if like because like there are times where I'm in the shower and Becca will walk in and like, you know, brush her teeth or whatever. And I'm like, oh I'm just washing myself with Sydney Sweeney's bath water. That's weird, right?
Starting point is 00:55:13 I don't think you lead with that. I also think that like if you're actually using it that you live alone. Or you live in the basement apartment of your mom. So now you're leaning into the losers. I'm saying if you're actually using it. it my point was that like I think there's a lot of people buying it as a joke Yeah, I think that the chances all right because it is a big fat joke You're saying you know it is a big fat on everyone But dr. Squatch and Sydney Sweeney cuz they're breaking it in they're caking I mean, they're not really caking like dr. Squatch They only made two two thousand bars. They sell more. Let's say they made but yeah, but what's the margie caked? She probably caked but what's the margin on the bars doesn't matter. It's only two thousand
Starting point is 00:55:54 Yes, it does matter. They're eight dollars the revenue dollars. So if they 16 thousand dollars change the company It's about the publicity You know what? I didn't even think it is. Yeah, it's only 16 grand but it's not, but like... It's less than that. It's about the pub. She probably got paid, right? She probably got a couple thousand.
Starting point is 00:56:16 I would say she probably got at least 100k. Easily. I would say she's a very popular... She's an A-lister, I would say. She probably got at least yeah at least 250 And it's probably worth it for them too. Yeah, I mean good for them. I mean we're talking about them for 40 minutes Talk about a best-of is baby. Oh shit We're talking about we don't even
Starting point is 00:56:43 Talking about but we do have some more sponsors here, the first one being, how you doing SeatGeek? Okay, so if you want tickets to something, you want to go to a baseball game, alright? If you want to come to the Padres game that me and Frank are going to be at, you can get those tickets on SeatGeek, okay? So go to SeatGeek, go download that app, it's the number one rated ticketing app in the app store, so you can go to a baseball game, or you can go to a football game or you can go to a football game and go to a concert or whatever the case is, it's the summer get out there into the sun and let it hit your face and buy your tickets on SeatGeek. Not just because it's a cool app with a really cool interface that shows you if you have a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket, but we could save you some money
Starting point is 00:57:22 on these tickets okay uh if you download the app right now and use the code basement 2025 you will get 10 off any tickets on Seakeak okay so whenever you buy tickets or something go download the app uh go download the Seakeak app and use that code basement 2025 for 10 off of your tickets save some money all right but get out there for 10% off of your tickets, save some money. All right, but get out there, go run around and enjoy, okay? And lastly here, we have Kickoff, okay? Kickoff is a credit building app. You could start building your credit immediately
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Starting point is 00:58:55 getkickoff.com slash basement today. That is G-E-T-K-I-K-O-F-F dot com slash basement. You must sign up via getkickoff.com slash basement to activate the offer. The offer applies to new kickoff customers first month only subject to approval, offer subject to change, average first year credit score impact of plus 84 points between January 2023 and January 2024 for kickoff credit account users who started with a score below 600 who paid on time and who had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during the period late payments may negatively impact your credit score individual results may vary. Love that. I do have something written down here about I think you brought it up
Starting point is 00:59:41 before the show but the vibe checks., so apparently it is a trend that Like the current generation of kids that are turned like 21 22 within that age bracket What are they Jen alpha Jen Z or Jen Z Jen Z? I'm sorry forgive me They are reportedly Calling up bars before they go to bars to get a vibe check. I like that. Stop it. I think calling up a bar and being like, yo, is it lit in there?
Starting point is 01:00:15 What? Why? Because I want to know. But what, so what answer makes you not like, what are they going to say? It's dead. Why would they say that? Why would a responsible business owner be like? Yeah, no, it's empty. Well. It wouldn't be the owner picking up the phone
Starting point is 01:00:29 It would be like a bartender Why would any bro if I was an owner of a bar and I heard that people were calling I would tell my bartenders Tell him it's fucking awesome in here. I guess it would make no sense to say like yeah, it's dead. Don't come Yeah, because then you're literally literally telling people not to come to your fucking business. I always wish that like I Can go on Instagram and you know how like places have? Instagram accounts and if I like clicked on their story I would know what it looks like in there that night so that I would know like oh it looks cool in there or or it's
Starting point is 01:01:02 Too packed I don't want to go there. Let go somewhere else I know that there's like some stuff on Google Maps that I'll plug in I don't know how real that is I know very busy busy it's busy it's like not very busy or like you know they save themselves because they say like usually busy yeah like I see it mostly with like when I'm driving it'll say like oh it's worse than average or like this is the it'll show you a graph and it's like this is the best time to leave and stuff like that I hate this just like go if you're if you're going to if you're going to go out go and then if it's not what you like go elsewhere like that's the thing is like why do we need saving the time like maybe the place that you would go second.
Starting point is 01:01:46 But the experience is about going. It's not about like, like just go, just go. What do you mean the experience is about going? Like the experience is about going to the place and then seeing it and then if you don't like it you go somewhere else. Like that's how you learn. If you call up and you're just like yeah, no. Like also bro if I was a bartender and someone said hey
Starting point is 01:02:06 Give me a vibe check. I'd say Come get a drink you fucking loser I'm on one today. I don't know that that would get them there That would work that would guarantee to not get them in the door. I think like as As the person who's going to I get why it doesn't make sense for the bartender to be like, no it sucks, don't come. But like as the person who like wants to know, I don't think there's anything wrong with
Starting point is 01:02:31 like wanting to be like, yo, we want to go out, we want to go to a place and like socialize with some people, if there's no one there, I don't want to go there. Here's the only way I think this is acceptable. Because really, you put a camera in the corner so that we could tap into it and be like, oh wow, it's packed in there Just give people more opportunity to stalk each other. Why not right? It was a bad idea I just I think the only version of this that is acceptable is like if You guys go out to a bar and you're I text you I'm like, oh, what do you guys do and you're like?
Starting point is 01:03:00 Oh, we're at fucking McLoons I Would say oh, what's at fucking McLoons. I would say, oh, what's it like? Is it, should I come? Yeah. When, when other people are there, that's fine, bro. These people behind the bar are working hard to serve drinks and like, to have them take time out of their, say they get five calls a night, like this bar sucks,
Starting point is 01:03:22 dude, but like, you know what I I'm saying like that's taking time from them Taking time from them. What do you mean bro? If there's a packed bar and you're calling a bar to see a vibe check is it like a good thing if they don't answer or A bad thing if they don't answer it's probably a good thing if they don't answer They don't have the time to answer then it's it's packed but like from the perspective of the person calling I'm not also calling to I've never done this, but I'm saying like if a place is like overrun I don't want to go there and think about this if I want to go to a bar That's like yo be cool if we went to this place
Starting point is 01:03:55 I went like last month and it was sick and you get all the way there It's in Hudson Yards, and you get all the way there And it's like it's either packed or it's like dead then you're like all right we're not gonna go now it's like fuck where else do we go and then maybe anywhere else that there are bars which is I mean I know New York is that but a lot of people don't just walk into places it's like let's go to places that we know will be cool and I want to go there so you so then if you want to go there why do you need to know the vibe if you just want to go to that place I just want to make sure that's not super packed or super dead
Starting point is 01:04:27 But if you want to go to the place regardless of I don't know I don't want to socialize I guess for me. I'm just seeing like bro if I want to go to McLoons, I don't know why that's the first place. That's such a weird name That is a bar right is it I think loons. It's I'm sure it is all right let's uh what was one Bonnie okay or dib our station no the diddy better one okay I don't know why I'm doing this I mean either okay well what if I want to go there yeah I want to go there I don't necessarily care about the vibe whether there's a lot of people or not a lot of people So you're saying if you were like I want like let's go to the diddy we get to the diddy and it's fucking
Starting point is 01:05:13 Wall to wall you're gonna go in. Oh, then I'll just be like ah alright. I'll go elsewhere That's the point that I'm making but I don't I feel like that changes whether you go or not but I feel like you're the going is the part that like... I don't know, I think I'm being an idiot right now. The going is the part... The Uber to the bar is what I'm saying. Just like the idea, like I want to go and just see it. You want to go and see the outside of the bar?
Starting point is 01:05:42 Like if I go... I think my brain is breaking right now. Me too. If I want to go and see the outside of the bar? Like if I go... I think my brain is breaking right now. Me too. If I want to go to the Diddy. Yeah. And I... I... Even if I call them and they say,
Starting point is 01:05:53 Oh my God, it's packed wall to wall. I don't know if I'll believe it. I would need to see it. I would need to go there and physically see it. Or I'll do you one better. Sometimes places have lines. Like they get so packed that there's a line. I don't want to wait in a line.
Starting point is 01:06:10 You know what? I'm going to recant. I'm going to pull back a little bit. I spoke about losers earlier. I'm apologizing to the losers. It's not their choice for being losers. Feels like you're doubling down now. I'm obviously coming from the perspective of someone that grew up
Starting point is 01:06:26 Where oh the bar here is not good. You can go to the 50 other that are around the corner Sure, i'm not looking from the perspective of people that like it's their only night that they can go out And there's maybe like one good place in this town But it's also like what you want like like bars are just. Like if you're just going to go to a dive bar, yeah, you could go anywhere. But like, if you if you want to go to a cocktail bar, or you want to go to like a lounge kind of area, like, those are not typically like right next door to each other. And there's places that have like better drinks or better, you know, this or if you want to go watch a sports game, like there's just bars for different shit. Yeah, you're right. I don't think I'm recanting
Starting point is 01:07:04 and I'm taking it back I'm dialing back a little bit. How about this? How do you guys feel about this and I don't know why This feels not embarrassing But it's an interesting feeling when you call a place and make a reservation and you show up and there's no one in there Do you tell the person that you made a reservation yeah you just walk in yeah I do because you don't know why there's no one in there could it be because they're like expecting like a big party what all right but like that would be a big wedding big party but like I always tell the front because I
Starting point is 01:07:39 don't want to get like the only thing that's going through my head is like I'm gonna tell them that it's I have a reservation So that I don't get charged like you didn't show up. Yeah exactly. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes But like if it's empty, I'm gonna do it anyways. Don't you feel like a little silly being like, yeah Why no, I feel like I hear what you're saying in that cuz that's happened to me a ton Yeah, me too where I'll just be like, oh, I just made a I made a reservation Like I didn't need to clearly but like I did none of This is like outward. Oh, I in my I'm like I've walked into places where there's literally one other table, and it's like oh, I made a reservation
Starting point is 01:08:14 They're like alright come this way bro. You know what drives me up the wall When you go into a restaurant, and there's not a lot of people sitting down and they seat you next to people put me on the other side of this place yeah why am i sitting next to people i also don't like restaurants and i get why they have to do it but as a consumer i don't like my tables here and their tables yeah i don't like that it's like now i have to like whisper because i'm like i'm having a conversation i don't want these people to like yeah I'm with you my conversation with your elbow if you have the space use it explore the space a little bit Yeah, why do you got to put me? I know I know that there's probably an answer for this like people in the service industry here is the answer
Starting point is 01:08:56 But I don't like the answer move one of these tables. Let's move over. Give me like three more inches also If it's just two people it needs whatever all right Whatever the party is that you're going with the table needs to be plus one So like if it's just me and you going to dinner this needs to be a table for at least three people Because crazy because we're ordering. Because we're ordering food, and we're ordering food. So it'll be plate, plate, and then stuff in the middle. Right.
Starting point is 01:09:31 It can't be a small table. Am I making sense here? Wait, why do you need there to be an extra? Because I order a lot of food. Oh, you're saying tables aren't big enough to fit all the food? No, they're not for me. Because then we got to do this weird thing where I'm just like, I pick it up and they put it there
Starting point is 01:09:45 And then I need to move this over here and put this down here I don't really love that either maybe that's why they do it in like we're gonna bring this out then bring this out bring that uh, I Yeah, but I don't care about that but like I for instance back, and I went to dinner the other day And too many plates we got two appetizers, and we got oysters Three plates that's three plates. What were the other ones? Wagyu meatball Yeah, and it seared scallops in a
Starting point is 01:10:18 butter corn sauce Joey Yeah sauce Joey yeah and that would you best and that by the way that wagyu meatball yeah sauce and a whipped ricotta on top of it I love ricotta oh my god I love that and those oysters by the way good don't know what that means incredible oysters nice okay so you have three plates out there, then you have your two plates. Then we have the two plates for us. Like it's just not a lot of space. Yeah, that's why the perfect number to go out to dinner with to me is an odd number. So you always get that extra seat because most tables are for four or six. Really good point. Sometimes you get lucky. I've gotten lucky and
Starting point is 01:11:03 they'll put you in like a corner Because if you have the corner, then you could like you usually get something. I don't like corner spots. I like them You don't like being in the middle. You know my dad is one of those people that like has to have his like facing the door For like robbers, I don't know what it's for but i had robbers yet it's a stick up record right now i want to be in front of a place to rob our restaurant yeah uh... maybe thinks he's pablo eskimo i'd yeah i don't know but like anytime we
Starting point is 01:11:37 would go out to eat he'd always be like no no it's my seat and he always want to sit at the back with his back to the wall. Right. I don't know who my dad thinks he is or was. Anyway, I think that's all we have for today. But yeah, like Frank said earlier, if you haven't gotten tickets yet to the Basemeard show, hit us up. Go to thebasemeard.com. Tour's starting up soon, so get tickets if they're available still in your area. So get tickets if they're available still in your area. Our first show is in Kansas City. There's some tickets available there. So go check that out. And go to thebasementyard.com slash submit.
Starting point is 01:12:14 And keep writing in for the shows that you're coming to so that we could possibly maybe get you on stage, talk to you. We have no idea what the hell's going on. But that's all we got. Frank, where can they find you. And go find in there and you guys can go follow the show at the base me out on tick tock and Instagram and we'll see you next time patron did you say that pitch.

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