The Basement Yard - #508 - Turning Into A Vampire

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Francis? Good. All right. Francis, I don't like I don't mess with Francis. Francis Coe, I like, obviously, because it's my name. You said Francis Coe.

Francisco. Yeah. I'm saying like the like Francis, just as it is. Don't work for me. Yeah. If you can have any other name outside of Joey or Joseph Mm-hmm there any that you're just like that's a sick one None off the top of my head Well try to find one now Joey all the names that are coming to my mind are so weird like Nathan and Arthur I'm mad and I hate both of them Yeah, I think Joseph is Arthur's significantly cooler than Nathan or Arthur Arthur's like a trees name or something Yeah, I feel like Arthur would be someone that like studies books. You know what I'm saying? Yeah You know what I'm saying studies books is very funny. It's just like someone that just like is just like this is a book yeah like this is an older book do people like research

books cuz you're like reading books about other books yeah dude people write books about other books so weird which is so strange to me I once stumbled upon a tick-tock and it was like a guy I don't know if it was like a bookshop or a library or what and he was just like coming to the vault And you could see like the cool books that we have take it easy some of them were cool, dude Wait, was it like old Bibles? Well, there was one that was like the oldest known like Bible It's like King Henry or King George's or one of the fucking old by all that's in Yale. Isn't it? Is it Yale? Yeah Oh the oldest Bible King James. I believe King James

Oh, he's guy. He knows is you know you know old Bibles father son Oh, thanks, no, we're a thing. You're a knower of things know where things you know nothing. That's what you know But it was like oh, this is a first edition hardcover The Hobbit and I was like oh cool okay stuff like that at school yeah I thought it was just like oh we really like these books it's like bro you don't have to put it do you still have your Harry Potter books I have one I only ever had one oh really I only had the Sorcerer's Stone oh I got seven pages into that I was too young I was like I'm good oh I read them I read them

and I got caught reading them by like our like elementary school I've told this story before yeah they did like a thing it was like, I'm good. Oh, I read them. I read them and I got caught reading them by like our like elementary school I've told this story before yeah They did like a thing it was like get caught reading and then like if they announce your name over the loudspeaker And you won and I was like, oh fuck. I won. I got caught reading. What is get caught? What wait, what was this it we were in fifth grade? I think this was when you were in school with me Yes, what is get caught reading? It was like a program They did where it was just like, Get caught reading! Go out there and, you know, read, and if someone catches you and tells,

you know, we'll pull your name out of a raffle, uh, you know, and then if you win, you win a prize. So would you like read out in the hallway or something? No, I would like, I was legitimately, I wasn't doing it to win. I was reading fucking... But like where? Where are they catching you? You remember how like when it's raining out before school school you'd go in and like sit in the lunch room Got it, but like at lunch, you know or something like that

And I remember I got my name called over the loudspeaker and they were just like alright and Frank Frankie Alvarez, you know from probably hype five three two seven got caught reading and I was just like Frankie You're welcome. Hold on. You're welcome. Was that our class? Yeah, what you remember the class? Yeah? Five three two seven I feel like that just rang in my head. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you're welcome You remember that course I feel That is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude getting your name over the loudspeaker when you're in that age is well Basically like being on national television. I was so hype and guess what the prize was it was a fucking wishbone book. I was gonna say is it another book? It was a book! They gifted it for reading I thought it was gonna be

like yo like we got you like moon shoes or like we got you like a trip to space camp. Yeah, sketch or something. I was watching a lot of double dare at the time. Duh. You know but no nothing it was just fucking a of Doubledare at the time. Duh. You know, but no nothing. It was just fucking a book a book, dude I remember the first time that I was in the office when they were doing the announcements and I was like, oh my god I'm here for this thing. You're seeing like the sausage. They used to yeah, they used to play a xylophone you remember Yeah, yeah, yes to do that and I thought it was just something they played but the guy actually played it, duration Yeah, yeah, so you saw the principal making sausage in his office

You don't really have to say that especially when I'm in like fourth grade at the time But he like did that and I was like, yo, what the fuck like this is crazy And then he would do the announcements. I don't even think I said anything I'm just watching I love doing the announcements was like the earliest form of like It's a talk show It was a radio show for us. You're famous We were well we weren't but like whoever did it and whoever did it was so lucky, you know, I remember I It's a very famous story that we've told it a dozen times

I did it once a couple times in high school and I got banned from it pretty quickly Yeah, but I just wish like how cool would a school be like I always thought like it when we would watch movies And like the morning announcements were like a talk show Like it was like a video we had that in high school Get the fuck out in high school there was a say like today. It's eight hell marys. Give us your daily bread Was it called daily bread? Please tell me it was called daily bread. It was called channel one You guys probably had it. We had it. Yeah, so down say Francis prep when I when I was in the school. There was a kid who was older than me and He created it and then I guess it lived on I wonder if they still do it now

But like I imagine now that that's a that's a way How what are we four years apart? Yeah, you were born in twenty five five years apart. Okay. Yeah, so I missed you He so it like lived on but he would do this he would make a show I don't think it was every day I mean it may have been once a week where he made a show and it was like a news show and it was about Like stuff but also like interviewing some people and stuff like that and they would play it for everyone. That's cool I think they should do that more. Yeah, I don't know if they do they probably do

I went to Bryant high school where like if you would put a camera and said film something to someone in that school Chances are it would have been sex related. Oh is that boring? Yeah, it would have been in the staircase bro Exactly. Yeah, I mean you can't do that in that school people are pregnant for God's sakes in there I mean careful what people were pregnant and say for instance prep to That's very true. So there you go girl. You're under me was pregnant. I remember it was a big thing I don't want to say her name and wanted to beat me up what yeah the boyfriend wanted to beat you up Yeah, and he was on steroids. I almost got beat up by a guy in steroids, too. Look at us

Wait did the girl like you no? Oh, he just wanted to beat you up. I So here's what happened well, those things didn't happen at the same time he was dating some other girl was in my class at the time and The teacher said to me like oh you look like you've been working out to me, right? Damn and I was like that You're not beating those sausage allegations. Let me tell you. Oh, oh, oh. I was like, where are you going with that?

Let me see. Take your shirt off. Let me see your, wow, you look like you've been working out. That's crazy. But I don't even know if that's what they said. But they said something like that. Or maybe they were referring to sports or something. And then the girl chirped in from the back like yeah right he doesn't work out or something

like that and I was like yo she's just steroids like your fucking boyfriend and then everyone went oh and like that's bad because I wasn't I didn't mean for it to be like that no I thought that it would just be like because like I knew her I was friends with her oh you thought it'd be like a ha ha ha ha yeah but the fact that everyone goes oh then it's like now you're a person like now you're done offended by that. Yeah her jaw just dropped And I was like man. I'm fucked why is she offended by it? I don't know, but then her boyfriend found out he's like I'm gonna fuck you up, and I was like I'm do I know I know the girl no you don't know either of them. I just asked and you said no to both yeah

Yeah, yeah, you don't know yeah Oh mine was because there was a girl in Long Island that we knew you actually might have been like in the know of this whole situation because you know the girl and She was dating this kid, but they were like on again off again, and he was like a fucking roided out freak and Roided out freak he's an ROF and she liked me and He found out several times messaged me like I'm going to fucking kill you. Yeah, you know just like that But you know we're good at ducking and diving you know a lot of people I wanted to beat us up, but we never got beat up. You know how people are like you

I'm not hard to find I am very hard to find. Especially when I know someone wants to beat me up, dude. I'm like, I'm mad. Now. But like back in the day, we were easy to find. And I remember the one time that there was a group of people that were just like, yo, we're going to fuck them up. I remember I was just like, you know where to find us.

And they never found us. And we saw them often. I remember when I was younger, someone was like, yo, come to the park right now. We're going to jump you. Yeah. That was stupid. I'm not going there.

I was like, I'm literally going anywhere else. I remember that call specifically. Yeah. R.I.P. Yeah, he's the one who called me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's gone. Just kids being kids. But anyway, speaking of dying, I watched Sinners yesterday for the first time.

Oh, I watched it the other day too its it's and you could like buy it now I bought it. Yeah, watched it what you bought it or rented it. I bought it to own. Yeah, so now you own this movie. Yeah Could you just rented it buddy? I could have but I feel like everyone's talking about has such a great movie So yeah, I'll probably come back to so rent it and then wait till it goes on streaming which it's gonna happen I'm just gonna have it forever. So rent it and then wait until it goes on streaming, which is going to happen. I'm just going to have it forever. So hold on. Hold on, hold on. You purchased the digital version of this movie.

Yep. When it's going to be available for streaming in two weeks possibly. No, it's like, what do you mean? You just wasted your money. How? Because you own a thing that is going to be readily available and accessible for the foreseeable future. Those things go in and out of being owned by those platforms. Some of them do, some of them don't for the most part.

Anything over, I mean, it depends on like what it is. Like Harry Potter is jumping between Peacock and HBO Max every other day. I mean, I own those movies too. I own all the Harry Potter jumping between peacock and HBO Max every other day. I mean I own those movies, too Like all the Harry Potter like digitally yeah That's crazy right. I don't think so. I'm a physical media guy to this day if I buy a video game I'm buying a hard copy of it. I mean used to buy I don't want to chase things around and try to find it in whatever like oh, Oh! You just Google where it is and you go there brother Yeah that's what I mean

Let me guess you have all the streaming services I don't know if I do but like I've bought it it's easy to access You got Disney? Uh yeah You got Hulu? Yeah You got HBO Max? Yep

You can watch 90 Netflix? What is your issue? I have to say like you just you made a silly little mistake, and I want to let you find it. All right, I don't even think it's a mistake. I think that if it goes onto streaming platforms, it could come off at some time, or whatever, changes platforms or whatever.

And I don't know. It's just easier. There's a bunch of movies that I've bought over the years. Like you see them on your, what do you have? There's like a library. You have Apple TV, right? Yeah? Yeah There's like a bunch of you know first movie ever bought on there was a wedding singer. I don't know great movie I was like I'm cheating god. So long start is this I don't know if I've ever the girls like Ruby

Accidentally or miles accidentally purchased dumb and dumber which I don't hate I'm very happy about that one It's a good one, but I that's that's just silly. Like, why it accidentally? It was on like the HBO, not HBO. It was on like Verizon and like, oh, like on a channel. Yeah. And they went and did it. And I guess it wasn't like password protected or something. And they bought it.

Yeah. So I saw on the bill one week one month, I was just like, did you buy dumb and Dumber? Beck was like, no. Buying movies off, like, the TV guide is insane. Yeah, well, that happened. So now we are Unless it's like porn. On Verizon Fios, the owner of Dumb and Dumber. I've never bought porn on the, like...

Have you ever bought porn at a hotel? No. Oh, I don't know why you said like I'm crazy That's a that's a very like but you strike me as someone I'm a traveling husband thing to do like you strike me as someone that's just like It's something that like it has happened like it's like a thing that people do so like I'll try it out once No, no, I mean also like it shows up on your bill like at the front like your room like they know that you're like watching naughty nurses too yeah some shit there was one time where

our my old landlord we shared cable and they bought porn and it was like on the TV wait how the fuck do you share cable with your neighbor it's a long story but it happened and they you guys had the same bill you charge them I mean we probably paid like a like a half of half of it or something it's a long story and I'm not gonna get into the details of it but we were like on the TV and we saw it was just like you know like a Wild West themed softcore porno how did you see that because like when you on the TV and we saw it was just like you know like a wild west themed Softcore porno, how did you see that because like when you turn the TV on it like the main menu pops up What was the name wait you guys are sharing a screen essentially in theory yeah?

But like we said it was like a wild west themed porno. Did you watch? Becca and I were like, you should put it on. We need to see what this is. Yeah. And we put it on and the guy had just like a wild cough. Like the guy, it was just like this old white guy. Wait, I feel like I faintly remember you saying.

I probably have told you this story in confidence or on a show before. Yeah. You sang I probably have told you this story in confidence or on a show before yeah, and It was like he was just like a softcore porno guy And he was an old white guy and he just had a wildly bad cough And then once we saw it was starting to get into the whole like you know like I'll get you out of jail for a price and then it's like Nanny and like this cowboys is railing each other. We were like we need to turn this off was it gay I I don't think I got far enough to see if there was any gay stuff But from what we where we turned off it appeared it was going in the root of hetero. Oh, okay

Yeah, it was going in hetero sex land. Yeah watching porn on your television That's bananas. Yeah, I remember back in the day day my dad had direct TV and I knew the channel for the playboy channel I had a legal cable it was like channel like 69 no it was like 65 65 ice TV that's what it was that's what it was back one time I put it on while my dad was in the dining room that my dining room and the living room is separated by nothing. Nothing. Nothing. It physically like it could there's no way it could be harder for him to like, I'm sorry, easier for him to see what's going on in it.

And I was like, I'm just gonna go to real quick. And I remember bro, I remember this clear as day. I he's in the dining room, but his back is turned towards me and I'm like, I'm just gonna flip and see a tit real quick. And I get to the channel, and all you see is just bush. Just straight up bush. It took up the whole television. And I was like, oh my God, and I got out of there.

But I was like, yo, this thing is burned in my memory this bush burned in my memory yeah burning bush that was a different crazy that was a different bus crazy he saw that in high school well that bush was my religion at that time so what an incredible wordplay I remember that so like vividly yeah yeah yeah or I remember because the illegal cable box that we had it was the one that had just the three buttons on channel up channel down it was just brown and it was brown and it was like light gray button yeah and it had the red numbers yes how is that so how how

do we all have how did everyone have an illegal cable box how and like no one? How did we get it? I don't know but like how did it? How is it not a bigger thing like it was such a protected thing now? Yeah, and I remember when I found out all its illegal cable And say our cable us your cable. Yeah, I don't know what would even happen I don't know that's that's that's very strange that like everyone in New York everyone that I knew had it Yeah, and they all have the same channels channel 6 was Nickelodeon channel 22 was Cartoon Network, bro. Yes Yeah, your memory is disgusting. Yeah, it got there 22. I remember. I yes. Oh my god. That's so crazy and 65 was spice channel

I do remember and it was Tits brother it was tits and bush tits and fucking jazz Yeah, yeah, this was playing this was saxophones when we were kids when it was like First of all you could you also like you couldn't lower the TV enough you had like so like even at his lowest setting you Would hear like? It was like oh You know like yeah tits yeah, was that careless whisper it was careless whisper Also like the cable box used to get a little fucked up sometimes like if it was like a rainstorm or something So if you went to that channel specifically which I have done during a rainstorm

It was fuzzy uh it was fuzzy it was fuzzy so I'd be like I'd be looking at like black and white fuzzy trying to make out the curvature of a tit hell yeah you guys don't even know yeah kids you guys are so spoiled now 4k tits dude 4k 65 inch TV's fuzzy fuzzy I had to slap the side of the TV and be like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he's slapping it and just trying to make this fucking signal where you guys don't get it you don't understand you don't

understand dude used to have to spank my TV yeah so weekly yeah it is weekly weekly all right weekly anyway I was watching sinners. Yeah Good movie. I liked it a lot. I liked it vampires and shit and that I mean spoiler I guess for the people watching it. I mean I think well I was just telling this to aunt before because I asked him if you watch it because I watched it and I said like Yo, they really like spoiled a big part of that movie in the trailers Like with one of the characters being a vampire Yep, because like and here's the thing is it like I?

Saw that character and was like oh, I know where they end up But like who that character was like the turn was crazy. I was like, oh fuck You know what? I mean? Like yeah, it was bigger than what I imagined that they would want to spoil. I think the whole movie was more of like to be interpreted and it wasn't really about vampires. Yeah, I mean a lot of- That's why I think they could gave it away. A lot of critics have come out and said that it's symbolic of cultural appropriation and the stealing of black culture and music. That much was-

Pretty evident. Yeah, I think he actually one time Remix says like I want your music. appropriation and the stealing of black culture and music that much was pretty evident yeah I think he actually one time Remix says like I want your music yeah he does yeah multiple times well yeah several times but I thought it was a good movie but like at one point it's like vampires at one point there's vampires and I guess if you really are like crazy about spoilers I'm not really giving anything away and be as vague as possible But like the vampires are trying to convince the people who aren't vampires like yo be vampires will live forever Yeah, and I was like bro. I

Feel like I probably would be like yeah, go for it. No Why not first of all you see some of these motherfuckers? I don't think that being a vampire is all that bad also when I was younger if you got my wanted tea Yeah, I know I know you're dead what I'm saying here is like You're thinking that they're gonna be like a little cute nibble like a little and they're gonna turn to a part dude, bro They're gonna fuck your shit up. Yeah, but then I have the forever bro a little pain But like we make an omelet you crack a few eggs for what did What did it heal though? Does it heal? I don't think so. So bite my back. Oh Shit Joey, where the hell did you go?

I'm just saying bite somewhere that like you can't really see so you want them I think one of the characters they got bit on like the shoulder. Yeah like that. I don't know man I'm not doing that. Well, you want to live? Forever you're not living for- I mean you're living. And then you just have this insatiable thirst for blood. So now you gotta go kill other people. That I didn't really think about. Yeah, killing is rough. Also...

Can I kill animals? Can I eat animals? Cause that doesn't really change. I think the whole lore about vampires is that the insatiable lust is for human blood Yeah, but you could bite and not kill right you just take a little little blood Yeah, but then they become a vampire and then they are no longer alive So you can't like eat your vampire boys the world would be very populated with them That's what I'm saying like this is like this is like those like you know like I'm fires actually survive forever because like you can't just keep killing people. I think everyone is a vampire There's a great point eventually. They won't be able to feed. It's just like those like multi multi marketing

Multi-level marketing schemes like Advocare and fit tea or whatever yeah, you go out get to yeah You go out get to you go out get to you go out And it's like they can only do that like ten times before the whole world is a vampire Yeah, and this specific example though out of my get just by my shit Whatever really I'm with all my people that I know in this small town and bro You're nuts you do all the people around you are going to grow old and die Not if we fucking but like that you're gonna convince the people in your life to be like yo be a vampire with me What if those like no I went to st. Francis prep

I would shoot them a text first and I'd be like yo we all vamp all vamping and like, let's just vamp and then we can chill. You think vampires can actually like, take a selfie? No, because they can't see the reflection. I don't need to take a selfie, I just need to send a text message or just pick up a phone. And be like, yo, you're cool if I, if I vamp right now, can I come through and vamp you guys and then we'll be chilling? Eww, no, why? Bro, you're like, you're then, you're being a bad guy.

Why? We're all just like chillin'. What if they say no? What if you have children? Yeah. And, like, I can't- I'll bite my dog. I can't- I'll bite the fuck out of my dog. Well, he doesn't turn-

Dog lives forever? Dog vampire? Doesn't turn into a dog vampire. No? I don't think so. I've never seen a dog vampire. No? I don't think so. I've never seen a dog vampire. Have you? No, but that'd be kind of scary. Introducing TurboTax Business, a brand new way to file your own T2 return all while getting

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Completely different so you're a hundred percent all right so how about this that you could turn three people into a vampire with you and they like they will say yes and raising his hand you want it you want a van I'll do it why do you want a vamp so hard why do you not want to vamp so hard because the idea of living forever sounds but you're not living forever because I could just you know wouldn't stake in your shit and it's a wrap yeah but then I need to be like cool with you killing me and it doesn't I mean you saw the movie doesn't look like it's very painless to get steak stuck steak

I'm sure that sucks. Oh, you can get shot with a silver bullet. It's silver Is that or garlic I think so dude garlic. I'm you know more garlic for you. That would be heartbreaking for me I love garlic. I do love garlic and also all the food in the world. You can't have ever again I could eat it. It just won't do anything for me. No. I don't think you can I think it makes you sick I've watched true blood right some food already makes him sick anything makes him fucking diadoodle cha-cha-cha first of all I think you're talking about yourself no you're not the only thing I can't eat is shrimp big whoop yeah that's true you gotta lay off the garlic bread maybe Maybe all right. Dude, you're losing garlic bread, garlic knots.

Any pasta that has garlic. Any... Honestly, all food. You're gone. Also, now that I'm thinking about it, the biggest thing that would suck is no sunlight. Eww. Yeah, you won't be able to see the sun. I would have to get like a really good European tan, and then I would vamp. Because then I don't want to be like...

Just like a white bitch. I mean, that's the other thing don't want to be like, just like a white, I mean that's the other thing is you're dead. You'd be a white little pale bitch. No, I think that like I could be, How? I think you just, because like Haley's, I mean, and then you know, whoever, whoever in that movie becomes,

they look the similar as they did. Yeah, but they're dead. So the pigmentation in their skin is slowly fading away and you can't see the sun. So how are you going to get a tan? And you're not going to go to fake tanning because that uses UV UV UV rays which is what is dangerous to vampires I'm very caught up in my vampire lore yeah I know but I don't know it doesn't sound that bad to

vamp no also to have like really cool teeth the teeth would be I would only be cool if they were retractable like in true blood where they can just be like And then you sweat can be that would be sick. You never watched true blood. Did you know? I've heard it's just like blood and blowjobs That's what I've heard you should watch it It's a bit late. No you can watch it. I'm it's all on HBO You could go and watch it and report back after you watch the first season Let it let it let me know what you think because they they be fucking sucking drinking blood

You know Also, can I just like have I'm gonna do bad things if I'm a vampire Can I just get like let's say for instance instance, right? I hire and I yell and pay you 200 K a year. Okay. No, no, no. I'm going to, I'm going to pay you less. Okay. Okay. I'll take that. Okay. Right up. Yes. Um, so I pay you whatever I pay you something good. And then like, you know, once a week I like drain a little bit out of you. Yeah, but you can't do that then. The time you bite him he turns.

No, I'm not gonna bite him, I'm just gonna drink his blood. Yeah, I have to do it myself, get him my blood. Yeah, like you're my little blood bag. I'll do that. You know what I mean? So he's your prostitute basically. No, I wouldn't like to be called the little blood bag. He's like my lifeline. I'm not gonna call you my little blood bag, but you will be that also once a week is crazy

Is that a lot of you need to eat food once a day? Yeah, I mean I have a few of him okay. Oh well now now you're not his special little blood bag No, you're just one of my number one. No no no no no This is what they this is what they say to all of them. You're not number one. You're just another one of the blood bags. Oh, it's like, what's it called? Mad Max, where they have blood bags.

Did they have blood bags? Yeah, they were like having the blood from those people. You make me a vampire. I'll get five blood bags. I'll be in charge of it. You'll be fine. Now we're talking about a real pyramid scheme. Now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. He's going to manage my blood bags. You drink one of this, you'll lose all of your weight. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna have a blood bag manager. But like, this way I don't have to go out and kill. I could just be like, yo, just give me your blood. Well, like, you'd have to. I technically don't have to pay you. Well, like, what they did in, uh,

what they did in, uh, in True Blood is they learned how to synthesize it and bottle it and sell it to vampires. There you go. But we're not in True Blood. Could be. If we are are then you're in trouble because they like fucking suck and fuck and like they take the vampires as like sex slaves and shit like that why gotta watch I watch true blood well then at the opposite no you don't remember they would have I don't want to spoil oh I remember your hundred years

old they were doing experiments on them. It's a whole thing It's not exactly accurate. Well. I know is that I can get some blood bags Yeah, well because it'd be like oh my god. That's Joe Santegado, and it'd be like yeah, you'd be like yo Thank you like and subscribe and send your type Is that like a thing in true blood like there's like certain blood they like taste better I think so unless I'm mistaken. I think they bottled it and it's like this is a beam plus this is a minus You know the real blood tastes better than the synthetic blood. Yes, obviously. I mean that's that's nature, baby Yeah, you know it's like processed foods actually it's the opposite for our food

It'd be cool at a you think processed foods taste better than real food in theory like people are like oh god This is the sugar and whatever I like people are like oh god this is the sugar and whatever I see what he's saying. Gotcha yeah like glu- like sucralose and shit like that. Yeah like it's supposed to make things taste better yeah I don't think I would ever be a vampire because like I would I would see like my friends and family like grow up and not if you vamped them. But what if they say no? What if they say no? I would be just try to be

convincing what they say no if they say listen I want to grow up and like see life through the lens of an aging individual because you then because what's what is never too crazy so crazy it's never too late to that Joey is always the first one where we're just like you're a billion dollars You get this is like you become aimless you have no purpose Why would I want a billion dollars if if life is endless? Does that not take the meaning out of life if you have the ability to live forever does that not? Absolutely take it from you because the beauty of life is the fact that it ends

That is what a beauty of life is and things Within the scope of our world, okay? What what makes a wine delicious is that it will go bad eventually? That's not why it's what makes milk so delicious because that will go bad eventually Is milk delicious a flower is so beautiful because it is it is crafted and then it will eventually will die and have to grow back is so beautiful because it is it is crafted and then it'll eventually will die and have to grow back okay if if your life is just never-ending eternal uh-huh well it could end you're leaving that part out it could end by a certain word which we won't say in theory red rum mmm well that way but I'm saying if you were to choose to, end it.

Sue? Yeah. Oh, vampires can sue them? I mean is that not what you're saying? Is that not what you're saying? No, I'm saying like if someone could attack me and do it. You probably would have to deal with some vampire hunters eventually. For shurs.

Okay. Do you really think that you could not overpower vampire hunters? I don't know. I think so. I'd have to live in a dark castle. The biggest selling point for me is like no sunlight. That's tough. No sunlight. No food. I'm crazy. It's crazy. You can't eat food. No, I don't think you can. I think like food makes them sick. So what're gonna take a bite of a cheeseburger just to then throw it up violently No, I think I would just eat it and be like oh, I still need some blood extra rare Extra rare, but that's cows blood It probably doesn't not do anything

Not keep up to date. I mean we're drinking cow milk. That's not us. You also need to feed off of like Eventually dude. I have blood bags. Are you not listening? I got my little blood your little blood boy. Yeah Blood boy, where are you draining it from? That's not for me. That's my choice. That's your Where are you draining it from his veins gotcha I? Think Frankie would do it. No, I would not That's my choice. Were you draining it from his veins? Gotcha. I think Frankie would do it. No, I would not. No, I would not. Unless I could like confirm, take my most beloved friends and family with me.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But like if they say no, then I'm then what? Then what if they were like, yo, I want to grow old and be like, all right, when you get old, we'll vamp you. Also when they're sick, you know, in the the old age eventually they'll be like alright that may all right yeah but then you have a you never see like an old like an old person vampire it's always like a young person or like in their like 30s you know like those are the vampires you also never see like like a morbidly obese vampire well they don't have a lot to eat it's just blood

you wanna talk about ozampic? if you were a vampire ovampic ovampic hehehehe I hate that we said that yeah it was not one of our better ones I also don't love blood

that's the other thing I don't like it but I think I would love it though you're I would love it though your I would love it obviously no but like you would need it just because you would need it doesn't mean you would love it no they love that's like for instance you've never seen have you seen a vampire drink blood dude they're already for it yeah because they need it not because they like it they drink and they're like

oh it's probably like doing age we're going to age now it It looks like it. That's what they look like. One of the things in true blood is that if you drink the vampire's blood, it's a drug. It's called V, right? Is that what it's called? Yeah. Would you be a little blood bag for him? Little blood boy? What's he paying? What are you doing? Just an even exchange Christmas bonus. Yeah. Yeah. Oh you want a blood bag each other? Yeah, you want a blood bag for bag, you know bag bought bag just a little bit You guys are bad boys duffel bag boys going back and forth. Yeah, there it is your word plays Outstanding this episode we're going back and forth with bags. Wait, so who's the vampire? Me or you?

You. And then he's his... I can't drink a vampire's blood. No, you give your blood to him. It's like a little drug for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little taste of that. A little good good, you know? Take some. Get you hooked.

Then I start making you pay me. So I can make some back of that salary. That sounds yuck. What? Drinking blood. Disgusting. Like out of a cup? Aren't you one of those guys who drinks blood? You drink your own blood, like you suck your blood out

of your finger. Oh, like if I have a cut, I'll do that. Yeah, that's nasty. But like, I'm not drinking it like, oop, oop, oop. Frank. Go crazy. I'm going to be serious when I say this. Great.

I'm going to leave. When I say this right now. I'm going to leave. Frank, hold on. You don't need to say it. I'm going to say, out of all the When I say this right now, Frank, hold on. I'm gonna say, out of all the things that you've done in your life, that was the most impressive thing that you've ever done. I cannot believe that the volume at which you did that,

and the accuracy of cartoon swallowing, this is the guy that you need. Pixar, whoever, whatever big company, Disney, this man is born to do cartoon swallowing sounds that was incredible Great thing I've ever seen in my entire life that was like watching fucking the comeback You know what I mean when the when the Patriots beat the fucking Falcons that was unbelievable Couldn't believe it. I was just watching I'm real. Oh my god. God bless watching. Oh my god. God bless. How long? But you do suck your blood. Yeah how long you have to be bleeding until you're like okay I'm sucking too much blood. I don't bleed very long guys. I don't know what you think is happening over here. I don't bleed long. I have working anti-quagalent or what is it called?

Not anti-quagalent. I want coagulants. Yeah you got a quag. I want my quags. You got a quag I have my my blood is good It quags it quags when it needs to and it doesn't quag when it's not supposed to I have not yet Experienced a situation where my blood is not needed to quag. So quag good We also have sponsors Hope you're hungry because we got Factor here. Factor Meals, they arrive fresh and ready to eat, perfect for any active lifestyle over summer and beyond.

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Don't know you're a big mama's boy. I know you're bringing mom not necessarily But it's about who you want doesn't matter about them. They don't get a choice You just said that's the whole point. I know what I'm saying in this situation. I don't know I think that like I would probably not Like if I could get the people I know to be like you let's just all live like this You could start like a commune of vampires. I'm thinking about though I don't know if I could do no sunlight also you're gonna have to live the rest of your life with some of these people Yeah, well no I could move But like they're tied to you, so they'll be like I've found you

What I don't know I? Pick I what about wizardry? What about it I? Don't even know what I meant by that all right. I love to be a wizard. Oh, this is would be cool Would you go to Hogwarts? Would I have gone to Hogwarts would you have helped Harry Potter I probably don't you know chill I'd be like yo there's a lot going on like yeah I'm just trying to learn you know Wingardium Leviosa right here I got class you want to fight giant snakes and wizard I'm good yeah I mean I think

eventually I would stand up because I tend to want to be on the right side of history with my moral beliefs so like I would eventually be like you know what here we go captain courageous over here He's gonna fight Voldemort people won't even say this guy's name, and you're fucking 11. You're gonna be like yeah, let's go fight him You went to one class where they pulled a fucking plan out of a fucking pot and all of a sudden you're equipped to fight the The darkest wizard who is ever wizard. I don't know about that. I don't know about that I'd be like Harry you got the scar you know you're protected by something here I don't know about me, bro. Let's see this right here I don't know about me see this rich white man with blue eyes and a clan hood

You think we know where what side he's fighting on doesn't have blue eyes Crazy that you went with the blue eyes first why that what was the other things you said? blue eyes first why that was the other things you said I said clan but oh I'm not gonna dignify that with a response yeah because you don't want to upset your buddies I think that I would I would fight I would be like nah you know what guys get out of you Voldemort listen dude get out of it and then he'd have a good ever me and I'd be like I'm gone I'd catch a vodka cap. You know you'd be shameless. Dude. You have shit blown up in your face all the time I mean he was eventually he was heroic he fought on the right side. Did he yeah?

He was part of them. He was hanging well. They had no choice at a certain point I'm saying like a choice look at mouth boy. He had a choice and eventually he made it but eventually beginning he didn't what oh I was like what the fuck that confused me no but like when the first year this dude's like yo we have to go into this room that's guarded by a three-headed dog it's like bro we don't I feel like no we don't yeah that's like once the fucking wizard Nazis are invading the school I'll be like all right now Oh, yeah, I'm saying that first where it's just like there's a fucking snake. We got to go underwater and find it I'd be like that's what I mean take it easy

He's like yo There's a there's a book and I'm trying to figure out all these riddles so I can go to the Dark Lord I'd like dude. Let's just like go to school. Yeah Let's go to lunch dude. Why do we need to do all this? Yeah? Yeah, have you ridden the stairs they I will say that's fun enough. I will say this a part of Harry Potter that they obviously didn't include that place would have had so much sex and so much hooking up Frank I

Think they didn't depict that for a reason I know One thing that they left out was that no one got fucking fingered. No, I'm just saying like... It's so not true! If you had a bunch of fucking kids going through puberty living together, they would all be hooking up. Mm-hmm. Right. No? This is what they left

what they left out was doggy style there wasn't enough dog there was a three headed dog no doggy style this is fake I'm just saying obviously they're not putting that in the book although you know what with the way that JK Rowling is going she might throw some stuff in there eventually

there was that one scene that like Ron was seeing a vision of like Harry and Hermione like fucking making out mad hard. Yeah dude in the last movie where they're like naked kissing hard. Yeah that was so weird. Yeah very strange. I don't like- And they're like yo yo shame drone. And they're like talking shit to him you remember that? Yeah.

They were just like you'll never be good enough for me. Yeah you'll never be good enough for me here's me and a moini yeah yeah yeah that was that was a strange one yeah what's that weird what's weird it's the whole yeah yeah the whole like kissing scene was weird that was weird and also they looked very like white I think the idea was they were supposed to be like ghosts ghosty looking yeah Because it was like a smoke thing from like the the Horcrux I It is really crazy how much of this show just eventually divulges into us talking about Harry Potter It's kind of wild but the idea of a child being like I'm gonna take on the worst

Well, let's talk about a series of unfortunate events. I don't wanna talk about that movie with that one guy, Lemony Snicket, he's got fuckin' ear hair. First of all, the author was Lemony Snicket. Oh. The character that you're referencing was Count Olaf. Got it. And he was played expertly by Jim Carrey.

Didn't his house have like, it was like. Rickety? Yeah. Yeah, well it had some rickets. Is that a thing? What is a ricket? It's almost a cricket. No, but like when someone says something is rickety, you know what it is. It's like old and like, creepy. So then what's a ricket? I don't, I don't, I don't think that's like the origin of the word Well if I say something is rickety is the origin yeah rickety But like in order to be rickety there needs to be a basis for what rickety is which is a rick it I don't know that that's true like if I were to say that you're yeah, well you're describing a like adding ly is No, you're don't want to pull it out language arts on an adverb ice No. Don't start pulling out language arts on me.

Adverbs, throat like all this shit. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. But I'm saying like... You know what's crazy? The rise of pronouns and everything has really helped me with that. Understand what a pronoun and adverb is. Because a noun you know, an adjective you know, but like a pronoun... Once you start adding like there's two syllable words Pronoun adverb I'm like all right. We all know what an adjective is it's a person place your thing

I know what a pronoun is we all know what a noun is it's Person place or thing that's an adjective no, that's describing a person place your thing and now is a person place your thing We all knew that wait. What are you wait? wait what are you talking about just I just wanted to make sure you knew knew what what a noun was I know what a noun is good we all know that you didn't know what a noun was nice try what's a what's a what's a ad verb you know well break it down you can get this I would have heard it I'll be a verb it's what you do I remember those commercial you got back in the day so then what would an adverb be

is doing what you do what yeah it's describing what you do yeah like an example exactly no what is an example well you give me an example mr. King smart well I'm I know what I write let's say the same time there could be any number of alright so let's say if the verb is Climbing an adverb is quickly yeah Yeah, it describes the way that you do the verse exactly. That's exactly what it is and then a proper noun obviously Is that just like a name of a thing? Well, you tell me.

I'm trying. I don't know. Is that just like the name of like St. Patrick's Cathedral? Why is that? Why? This has been a heavy religious kind of talk. Religious and vampires? Top 3 cathedrals I've seen. St. Patrick's.

I went to Notre Dame. I like St. Patrick's better. Yeah? I mean, I'm gonna give it to Notre Dame. I'm like St. Patrick's better. Yeah, I mean I'm gonna give it to Notre Dame because it's older Yeah, I'm like a couple years old. I'm in France. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but Notre Dame or Notre Dame I think it's Notre Dame probably But you know the other day Becca said Notre Dame and I said That's wrong. You don't get to be both That's wrong. She's like you sure I was like yeah Yeah, no, but yeah, that's definitely top three cathedrals. I've been in two

st. Patrick's st. Notre That ain't it. What is Notre Dom mean I? Don't know that it hasn't I thought it was just like a- that's what it is. Well, Dame is like a- like it's for a woman. Our Lady. That's what it means? Our Lady.

Look at me. What? I'm fucking genius, bro. You don't even know what an adverb is. I knew what it was, I just wanted to make sure you knew. We- oh. What makes us good as a duo is we hold each other to high standards. And my standard for you is understanding what an adverb is.

Is what you understand, exactly. Also, you brought up before that like there's like banned names. Can you- can you- I want to know what they are. Yes! So I saw this thing that came out that there is a list of names that have been banned oh I said it like that and I want to see some of these are pretty good I don't think I like they're not normal names some of them are like Trevor no sure you could still call yourself Trevor although we probably shouldn't it's wrong with Trevor?

Just a name. Yeah, I thought there was a reason why I'm saying that. So one of the ones there, I'm going to go one further, not only are they banned, apparently they're illegal. You can get in trouble if you try to name your kid this. So one of them is 1069. 1069? 1069, yeah. I don't, what's that, is that like a hip thing in the some community who the fuck is naming their child I mean, I guess Elon Musk, but like who else is name

I think Elon Musk goes to like a shooting range and like fires a gun at like a series of iron plates And then names his child that I think he farts on a calculator and then just goes this This is what I'm naming my kid. What was it like the one that was just like X AE That's what I'm referring to Omega. What was it, like the one that was just like X-A-E? That's what I'm referring to. Omega N, and it was like, their name is Eric. And it was like, come on, man, what are you doing? But 1069?

That feels like a specific number. Why don't we just outlaw all numbers? Does anyone, do you know anyone with a number name? Their name was seven, but it was spelled. That's a sick name. That was spelled, it wasn't spelled the number seven right but like also 1069 what what is that and why not just do like 420 69? If you had to name your kid a number that wasn't seven, what would you which one? 11 Top out. I mean you asked a question. All right, uh

90 I Don't even know you just said 90 90 90 are you saying 90 because it's spelled with a T you pronounce that 90 I mean I think for this the conversation I pronounce it 90 but like normally I'll Oh, yeah. 90. 90. That's interesting. Like this is my kid nine. 90. So like thousand.

Thousand. Thousand. Millie. Million. And then just be Millie. That's a good one. Okay. Thousand.

I was thinking like. Or billion, Billy. Yeah, like the big num, like the full. Amy or Kid kid billion is crazy There I'm sure bad names though billion a million. I mean 90s not bad either. I'm very good at this 60 Yeah, all right fucked up. Yeah Why does seven sound like such a good name sevens great seven, but the seven

That's probably what it was it was probably like originally like seven. There's like seven, and then it just stuck Yeah, I like Ten a good name ten or one so you criticized sixty and you hate you you're going with ten I'm like I'm trying it on I'm not like committing to ten Eleven's a good one eleven is a really good one It's like it's nothing in the fives or fours so like four five is five. It's like oh, this is 58 58 is crazy. Yeah sucks 70 is good so like 78 oh It's just 78

78 anything with an and you got to toss that like a hundred and one yeah not a hundred one no that's stupid no 78 71 70 70 70 is not bad yeah all right we do it. So 10 69. The next one is at just the the a with the circle around it. What are we doing? What are we doing? If I ever I'm not even kidding. If I met someone and they were like, this is my name and they wrote it out like that, I would I'd be like, just on principle and I can't know you at. Hi, I'm at. I'd be like, no, you're not. You're I'm going to call you Carl. Yeah, I would like call them something. Not that Addy. Oh, I guess that kind of works Addy Addy works Addy

at That's crazy. Uh next one is three, but it's just the Roman numeral for three. I I I I I I oh, yeah, yeah, I Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I Guess if this child was named after alpha 5 from mighty Morphin Power Rangers that would be their name All right didn't understand that one at all Yeah, you know oh yeah, yeah, it's laughing Did you know what that was? Wait too hard at that

It's so bad that it's good right no three is not great. All right next one Messiah That's kind of a cool name I agree I kind of like this one I get the religious like not like Yeah, wanting people to be named Messiah, but but like yeah I I don't mind this one like why you can name your kid Jesus can't even Messiah next one on here Jesus Christ yeah you can name Jesus but not Jesus Christ right but like can you can you do Jesus Christopher hey you're good over Jesus Christ and the book Messiah is a good one can I say something Jesus Christ is a great name that's just a good sounding name it's all right nah dude it was always gonna be Jesus if I was to rename Jesus Christ, I'd name him like...

Max Shrek! I don't even know what he says. Was there Shrek in there? I heard Mat-sa Shrek. Is that what you said, Mat-sa? Master Shrek? Max. But now that I think about it it max Shrek was the name of Christopher Walken's character and Batman return his name was Max Shrek

that's just for me that's just clearly I think Jesus Christ is such a good name it's such a power it's it feels like they're light on it you know I think Jesus Christ is such a good name. It's such a power. It's it feels like there's light on it You know I think Max Shrek Or like something sharper than Jesus Christ. How do you feel about the about the name God? I don't think it's that good. Where does it come from? I feel like Yeah, I feel like God should be named like something cooler something Cooler than God what's cooler than God Jesus Christ Jesus Christ yeah that's like better or like have two names knife

knife yeah no I wouldn't name God knife this is our this is the one above all what's their name stalactite that's not bad yeah cuz but that feels Greek Greeks would probably be like this is this is stalactite and you like yeah yeah yeah all right yeah stole the Sun from like you know someone or some shit yeah or like you know I instead of scissor I'm just thinking of sharp things. Very sharp. Yeah. I was thinking, I was thinking lesbians. Okay. And God forbid we had a god named after lesbians, right? Yeah, a lesbian god. What about like stone? Ooh, okay. Stone? It's too earthly.

Well, what is God if not of this earth? He is partly of earth. He? Crazy. But they call him him. Well, it what is God if not of this earth he is partly of earth he crazy But they call him him don't they where's that Jesus Christ still back to that great name. That's back it Next both on here king and queen Separate names you definitely named. I mean king is obviously just for like pit bulls You could definitely name- I mean, King is obviously just for like pitbulls. Hahahaha

Everyone knows- Those are pitbull names! Those are pitbull names! It's my dog King! This is King! And I walk him with a leash, but the leash is a chain. It's a bike chain! Yeah, it's a bike chain, and that's how I walk him, and he eats raw meat.

Only. Hahahaha Come with me to get ready to feed my fucking pitbull human bone and watch how I take a picture with him with my Legs spread out, and he's standing in front of me like this. This is King Yeah, sometimes I like to pretend I'm DMX yeah Yeah, well I'm gonna sit on my car hood and take a picture with my dog who's also on my car hood And my dog for some reason has the biggest balls ever yep Yep. Dude people who have like I think there's a correlation between people who

Use those big-ass chains for their dogs and the dogs balls. I was gonna say usually There's a poodle in my building The fattest balls. I'm like what is that? I was gonna say there's probably a correlation between Fattest balls. I'm like what is that? I was gonna say there's probably a correlation between fat nuts on a dog tiny cock on the male owner of that dog I Don't know dude. It's so rare that you see balls, and I saw balls in the wild and I was like Yeah On a poodle nonetheless I feel like I would never think a poodle was a with it was a boy dog

It's literally like I feel weird seeing it Yeah, I should be seeing this you shouldn't ants on this dog Damn, I think that if your dog has giant balls, you should put shorts on isn't that? Yeah, I agree They should wear something. I don't want to see your dog's nuts everywhere because they don't look they look like Balls dog like they do their dog balls dog yeah like it looks like a dude's fucking balls yeah and like we're just out here on the street I was walking home and this tiny woman was walking this gigantic pit bull and I was just like if this dog wants a problem we're both in trouble that's that yeah dude got big balls no yes I'll be honest if I'm attacked by a dog I'd prefer it

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Okay, firmly. I said if I'm gonna get attacked by a dog. I'd prefer to be one with big testicles So I could have like a clear like well when you play a video game Let's play Zelda let's play Zelda together and You see the big like the area on the boss that you need to hit with your weapons Then it's like alright like this is doable I know what I need to do here if a dog bites me and it's got nuts. I know where to kick Easy is that the comparison you just made is so funny Easy is that man? Yeah, you know I don't need to wonder how I'm gonna defeat this thing I

Easy as that man. Yeah, you know I don't need to wonder how I'm gonna defeat this thing. I see the weak spot and it's and it's the dog nuts. Bro, you know what happened to me? I was almost attacked by an animal. I was walking my dog and there was a goose and it was like They like they do like they like hiss or they go thief thief see your dad, but they have their tongue out. Yeah Yes, that's better. I don't know what I'm doing. You're not bad I'll be honest, but like they were like honking at me and then hissing at me, and I was like you're lucky There's a fence in between me. I'll fuck you up Well, you remember my story when I almost had a fistfight a swan this thing was big

I got bit by swan at the zoo. I would have killed it it got my finger a little bit I liked it though I wish yeah well hey I don't know just getting bit by this one was foaming at the mouth and I knew one yeah I'm gonna get fucked by a raccoon how's that happen I don't know this stuff happens maybe got attacked while it was out there yeah I don't like ducks are cute from a distance brother like cute over there like I don't like ducks are cute from a distance brother like cute over there like I don't need to when I went to when we were in London I took a walk to whatever that park is called but they had a bunch of swans and they were like right up on me yeah I don't fuck with that they were cool though they were

chill no one honked? Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. Did you see the video that we were getting tagged in on TikTok where it's like you're walking alone at night? It says like an owl on you going like, whoo, whoo, whoo.

And there's like a bunch of different ones that we were doing. I saw the one that was like us, but it was the story of Lion King. What? I missed that oh it's a good one it's a really good one I'll show you after we record but it's like I don't know how people have the time to do this thank you but also crazy you were about to tell me what it was like and then you stopped you like it's like it's like I can't explain it it's like, it's like, it's like. I can't explain it. It's just like, it's us like talking and then the roar is in there.

And then. You being a cat. I think both of us being a cat are in there. Oh no, I was a cat, that's right. I think like, you're talking about like, you're talking shit about Timon and Pumbaa. It's all in there. I saw one in Basin Yard but it's only animals.

Yeah, the best one that I've seen and it was one that we sent each other was the building a house. Bro. Peng peng peng, beng beng. I was dying when I saw that. Some other names that we have on here. Oh, yeah. Also band Majesty I don't know why that's a kind of a cool name. Bro. I know a kid that is a teacher and there was a kid in his class

whose name was Y.A. Majesty. Ya Majesty. That was his first name. I like that. Ya Majesty. I like that one. I'm like, yo. You don't like it?

I think it's heavy. It's really heavy It's heavy cuz it's like bros is it like now you have to be like a royal dude Yeah, or you can just be yourself. I know but like your name is your majesty. Hmm. I like your majesty I think it's a cool one your majesty Who are we to judge? You're Joseph First of all no one's saying it's a bad name. I'm saying you don't hear that name.

I know, you don't. You absolutely don't. Do you remember anyone that you went to school with? The only person I can remember was... I guess I can't remember them. You mean like a weird name? I don't think I had anyone. Oh, Treasure. But that's not that weird. I had a princess in high school.

I had a prince and princess, brother, sister, which makes it cooler. That kind of does. What are the parents? But then what if you have a third child? What do you name them? Jester? I think there's other.

Yeah, there's probably, there's other ones probably. Duke is a good one. Duke. You go back around probably, Queen, King. Prince and princess. Yeah, we had a princess in high school. I don't think there was anything else that was like. I think there was one kid named Shufcott, but everyone just called him Shovecock.

Shovecock is crazy. Yeah. There was kids in my high school that Him his brother who was he older than us and their dad had the same name like same first name last name What was like George Foreman George? Yeah named all of his kids George Foreman Which is that that just doesn't make any sense. I don't even get the strap. Yeah, like you're all George Foreman This is my daughter George Foreman. Yeah weird two more on here one of them. I think you will obviously not like

Nutella Nutella, oh, that's a beautiful. I think it's a great name. Why tell your kid Nutella? It's gotta be like the brand was just like don't do that. They're Italian. Mm-hmm. Are they also? Luigi Italian mm-hmm are they also Luigi what was that I don't know that I don't know that's how I love it I love that name tella I like double double L into an a names are great you like those yeah I'm trying to think of like other vert like Isabella I like Isabella Angela as Merelda Michaela where's the double L Michaela I've never seen it with double L's no but like anything that's like love I think you mean phonetically like that yeah yeah that's such a like Italian girl thing like Maria Angela Bella Bella I don't like that shit you remember that back in the my space day every girl was Bella something yeah you know Anna Maria Bella la la la la la you know la Bella Stephanie like that was what it was even funnier when it was just like a clearly not Italian name like it was just like Michelle Simpson

and they were just like la Bella Fuccina Michelle Simpson there was a girl growing up that her I think it was like her MySpace name was like her name and then Bella and still to this day I refer to her as that. Yeah, she's still referred, like we don't, I don't think we ever used her last name. No. She's so and so Bella. Like everyone knows who we're talking about. Yeah.

Like because of her MySpace name it's like oh that's, I don't want to say her name but like. Yeah. And then do you remember there was like a select few Italian guys that called themselves Bello and we call and they were they're out roasted One of them I know that we called him bellow cuz he did it on his my yeah Yeah, he was I don't call him that anymore though. I've seen him. Oh, I haven't seen him I think I also wouldn't call him that I would probably just call him by his regular name

But like back in the day he was like I'm bellow bellow so-and-so. I'm not gonna say his name I almost looked up you saw that yeah I like bello actually as a dude's name yeah it sounds kind of cool bello and bello I'm sure there's dudes named bello Santa Claus can't call your kid Santa Claus that seems disrespectful that feels crazy I'm paying respect to one of my favorites this is my son's Santa Claus that's so crazy that would be awesome that would be the coolest kid in I'm paying respect to one of my favorites. This is my son's Santa Claus? That's so crazy. That would be awesome.

That would be the coolest kid in school if we were kids. What would your daughter's name be? Easter Bunny? Could be. Maybe they're named off for maybe that Santa Claus could be named after when they were conceived. So like the next kid could be like Cinco de Mayo. Yeah, but like, yeah, but they can't clearly they can't go with the Christ part of it.

So they're just like, this is Santa Claus. And it's like, why are all of our kids named after like generally like holidays? Like here is St. Patrick. Here is Cinco de Mayo. Here is Arbor Day. Here is Santa Claus. Arbor Day. Christmas is a way better name than Santa Claus. I disagree. I like the last name Christmas. There's people with that last name. Isn't there like a football player recently with the last name Christmas?

I don't know. Couldn't tell you. But I like the last name Christmas. Lloyd Christmas from Dun & Mer. Oh, Lloyd Christmas, that's a good one, yeah. And the last one here is obviously Adolf Hitler. Oh, Lord Christmas, that's a good one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And the last one here is obviously Adolf Hitler. You added that one. No, I did not. Wow, it's on there. It's on there.

Yeah, that feels like a without, like, you don't have to say it. You know what's sad is that people have tried to use that one Probably more than the others What like there's some I'm sure there's people that are just like we're gonna. We're gonna Why does he get to ruin the name you know well? I think that you could probably still use Adolf like that's a popular name. Yeah, but people probably I would probably steer clear Just good. I would I would avoid it because of the association Yeah, I would even just avoid Adolf That's what oh, that's what you're saying. That's what I'm referring to

You're not gonna be like hey, this is my son are there still people with the last name Hitler cuz like that is such a specific. It's maybe a dumb thing to say Was that his real name? I think. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know why, but I felt like maybe that wouldn't be his actual name. I don't think it's a dumb question. I don't think it's a dumb question either. I think you're okay with asking that. Okay. But like...

Yep. Boy. Absolutely. It was his name. It was his last name. Did he have any other names? like a middle name or some? no I don't I don't know Hitler's middle name

what is this show? what is it? no I don't know yeah I think we retire that one not retire it, I think we can piss on it yeah, we could pee on it, bury it yeah, you know also, Adolf not just not a great name yeah, it's sharp

and the back end of it, Hitler definitely not a great name don't like that yeah well, yeah talk about something yeah before we get out of here you know I'm really glad that we saved that for after the ads because I'm sure they wouldn't be happy about that what did you say oh the dog with the balls I think you've never been attacked by a dog I have like in real life yeah are you okay you okay? Yep. Um, I

When I was younger, I was going to sign my deli I was with my mom and there was a dog outside and he was a big dog but I was also like a kid but I do remember this and he broke the chain and Just like jumped on me. He didn't like bite my face But he like jumped on me and knocked me down and my mom screamed and the guy's how did they not ruin dogs for you forever? I feel like if that happened I mean if you mauled my face I'd probably be like all right I don't really trust dogs yeah but I'm saying like still that would like terrify you one of our friends dogs snapped at me and like I think like just grazed me but like it wasn't bad who it

was our remember our friend Shane had two dogs? It was like Dolly or Molly or something like that? What kind of- were they sheps? They were- no, I think they were white and fluffy. Oh. Dude. They were bigger dogs. Oh, were they? Yeah, they weren't small.

And- well maybe- I don't know, maybe because we were young, so maybe they- you know, it's possible, but- Yeah, I remember they snapped and I was just like, oh shit. Some little white dogs are fucking assholes bro small dogs They're kind of dicks. They're the scariest dog. I've ever met my entire life was a Pomeranian this thing was when I say vicious That would be a good word for it. It was pretty vicious I Hate when like I see videos on the internet of people's dogs and they're like Like touching their feet or something like and they're like showing their teeth and they're like oh, that's how he plays and I'm like This dog is gonna kill you one. Yeah, like it's not normal. We always forget that animals like even domesticated animals are still animals

if when my dog was a puppy and They're finding out like how much they could bite you or whatever the fuck or sometimes he would like snap at you when they're puppies I would get in this guy's face like a football coach. What are you gonna do? Huh? Do it? Do it if you're gonna do it Shame this dog and literally I think I could just end it right now if you want to What would you do seriously? seriously, if you had a child and Charlie like Frank bit and latched on to tell you something

I thought about this like if a dog like attack one of my kids like I'm gonna say to Becca like take the kids inside It's gonna get messy out here Frank I would like I Love my fucking dog I Would kill with my bare hands. Yeah That's what I thought that's what you should really snap it's not yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it would depend What it what happened like if if like a kid walked over and like pulled the tail of the dog like mad hard And it turned around and like bit their hand or something then like I'm not

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying this thing out of nowhere like this thing latches on and No reason fuck a reason dude. I think that matters, but bro Okay, it pulled its tail, but it latched on and it has its fucking canines in this thing's arm And it's not letting go I mean you kick it as hard as you can but then my point is like here I'm murdering that dog. There's dogs that just snap one day and attack. In that case, like I'm killing the dog where it lays. But like I'm saying if a child like pulled on a dog's tail or something like that and it was like whatever, I'd be less inclined to be like alright there's something wrong with

this dog like you know whatever but some dogs that just snap and they're like attack I can't you know I've seen videos of it's like dogs just snapping and like going after one of the kids yeah I can't I can't even put myself in the mentality of what I would do because it's fucking heartbreaking so weird question dude I'm sorry go no we. Do dogs like get dementia and stuff? Like the dogs that snap like eventually are they like just losing it mentally? I don't know why they do it but it does happen for whatever reason. I don't know why. I think that maybe they get territorial and there's a new baby so it feels like

this is a threat to their din- I don't know but like it's definitely happened and I remember because my my brother has a dog that Like has killed like rabbits in their backyard. So they were nervous about having a baby because of this dog. He's a husky So they were just kind of like dude. Do we even like take it's even worth this risk or whatever the fuck We're just kind of like dude do we even like take is even worth this risk or whatever the fuck But the dogs like super chill nice dog like nothing ever happened But like it's a concern because that does happen like especially with dogs I mean my dog the breed is not like typically at least I don't think or like Charlie's the biggest bitch in the world by the way, but like

there are certain breeds that are more susceptible to being like they could do damage and like hurt people and like have a tendency to do stuff like that or also if they were like in a pound and have some sort of PTSD or something like that and something could set them off it's terrifying bro terrifying but I've also seen videos of dogs like saving kids yeah I've seen those and those are nuts yeah where it's like there's like a like a wild dog I've also seen videos of dogs like saving kids. I've seen those. And those are nuts. Yeah, where it's like there's like a wild dog

runs across the street and this thing like runs in and tackles the dogs. That's so crazy. Yeah, that is cool. It's so interesting, dude. Now we gotta end on this. Should we go back to talking about Hitler? Probably not.

I feel like this is probably better, to be honest with you. Anyway, I think that is all for today, folks. Thank you so much. Like Frank said earlier, go to TheBasementYard.com, get yourself some tickets to our live shows. We are coming very soon to a city near you. And if you're coming to the shows,

go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit and submit some stuff so that we can talk to you during the shows, alright? That is all, Frank. Where can they find you? You know, go! Exactly. And that is all. See you guys next time. See you.