The Basement Yard - #510 - I Got Married To A.I.

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

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Welcome back to the base- BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS BASS Welcome back to the basement yard!

There he is in his Hawaiian shirt, nice and hot out. Why are you acting so cool? I hope that people can see what Frank's doing because I'm not enjoying it. Oh, he's making- he's flexing his muscles No, I'm just looking off into the distance. Oh He I'm just living Okay The way that you're why can I ask you a question? Yeah?

Why is this? like the go-to move for like people that are like Getting into business or something. What does that phrase mean? Well like when people would be like they're about to get into something like whether it be food or like oh you're like and then yeah and they're like or like you'd always see like in rap videos like Birdman.

Let's be honest it's always Birdman. He's always Birdman. Birdman was the one that would just be looking at it. He'd just be like Stana Yeah, listen. I love Birdman. I got no no no gripes with Birdman. I just want to know if he had gripes with Birdman Yeah, who might have gripes with Birdman? You know you deserve a gripe. I don't I you're damn right I don't deserve a gripe with Birdman. He has done way more in his life, and he's just like Like what but why why is this? I don't know I don't know like great birdman. He has done way more in his life and he's just like Like what but why why is this? I don't know. I don't know like I'm getting into something Do you wipe your hands for anything outside of cleaning them?

Do you I feel like you would be someone who like, you know, you're excited about food. You're like You see Why is that crazy, you know, I always I'm always reminded of did you see I don't know if you've ever seen these but like Every now and then I get like cringe tick-tock Compilations yeah, and one of them is like a girl who's like Frank I Almost killed myself with my own phone that day. She's like looking at the pancakes. She's like And it's just like uh and behind her there's a person behind her just being like what the fuck are you doing? I just like I see that like that's when you yeah when you say that to me

Yeah, you put me in the same classification as that no I that those things. I think he does right he absolutely knows on different planets Are they on different planets if I'm getting into food. I'm just I'm sitting down I'm not warming my hands up my hands are ready I'm ready for whatever food is in front of me food is ready, but like we've talked about it before we're both the type of person that like Sometimes when you get into bed, and it's really comfy you're like oh, yeah Oh, yeah, your're like oh, yeah Yeah, I am a squealing little fucking gutter pig and when I get in I know so that's why like this isn't that crazy To be like ooh ribs

Yeah, but I just don't like I get why people like it's just kind of a thing that people do now I'm saying why is that what they do though I don't know like where did that come from Like we can kind of trace back the origins to most stupid shit that we do, you know Like when people are like whoo, you know like whoo, you know, whoo I'm trying to get it right Phew, that's it. Phew is what you whoo, whoo, whoo

Sound like fucking Mario, Mario pantomime Like that's come from like wiping a brow, you know, after physical labor. But people do it now as just like a, well that was close. I hate that dude. You know? I just, I don't get. Ooh, here we go! Maybe it's like an ancient times thing.

I wouldn't think this deeply about it to be honest with you. I mean it's worth knowing. I think it's just like i don't know people are excited like they make like uh well that's why they do it now it's because they're just like you do that though like when you get excited you like you get in here i get squeaky i think i do too sometimes i not in front of people you're a squeaker though what have i done to deserve this attack today? Have I done anything to you? I'm not saying it's even negative, I'm just saying you are a squeaker.

A squeaker in what regards? Eeeewww! Pfft. Like that. See, now this- I mean, there's gonna be a compilation now. This seems all- There's gonna be a compilation now.

There's no compilations of anything. PBY unhinged. No, don't- don't- don't- hinge yourself. I- when I do get excited, I do like- I get like pent up. It's funny because yeah, you're you make fists I get very like I don't know where to put it you you remember that Couple that was like violently bullied on tik-tok for the love surge thing Yeah We made fun of them not us, but like the world made fun of them, but like honestly I

We made fun of them, not us, but the world made fun of them. But honestly, I kinda see what they got going on there, because I'm sometimes so fucking excited, I just shake and I don't know what to do with it. Like if I'm just so into something, I'm just like, fuck! And I don't know what to do. I don't know. But sometimes it becomes like a, eeeh! Yeah, you just wanna grit your teeth until they explode out of your mouth

yes oh yes you know I know I know you mean fuck yeah yeah no we're okay what you just say like that motherfucker I what yeah but I'm not I wouldn't call myself a squeaker by any stretch of the imagination. You're a little squeaky. You're a squirter. How about that? I'll take it. I don't think I've ever squirt. I don't know why I said thing.

I'm sure-tin that I haven't squirt. You sure-tin you haven't been squirtin. Yeah, I have not. But if you out there get really excited that you want to squeak or squirt, we have some squirty news for you. Squeaky news? If you want to squirt, start listening. Definitely not the messaging.

This is weekly, Joe. You want something to squirt over or something to squeak over? This is weekly. I know. This is weekly squeak over this is weekly. This is weekly 408 degrees in here, and I will be wet by the end of this thing not in that way yeah well there you go I had squirting. This is a wet episode. It's a wet episode the the moist mitt yard. Don't try to make oh You like that right the moist let's just talk about moist stuff by the way me saying moist There are those three like pick me people listening to this. They're just like oh

You know like they can't hear the word voice never thought that word was that bad. Yeah, it's fine I have we have a friend who can't hear the word moist or towelette and they do the whole like yeah moist towelette And they're like oh Yeah, moist towelette. I don't mind and they're like oh Moist is so close to mist and mist I love mist mist mist is great. Oh Finding one of those misty fans at like six flags or splish splash I was thinking of more being near a waterfall and getting some real mist when have you been near a waterfall Joey many times hiking Go outside. There's rocks and waters. I go outside. Many times hiking. Go outside. There's rocks and waters.

I go outside. I go outside. I live outside. I live outside. Okay? I live outside. I live in the outside. I mean, I've seen like small waterfall.

When you say waterfall, I'm thinking like the ones in like movies. Okay. Well, there's waterfalls like that are not like, they're not like, you know. By definition, the water is falling. That's not what I'm saying. Oh, what are you saying? Just there's waterfalls like that are not like they're not like my definition the water is falling That's not what I'm saying. Oh, what do you say? Just there's different sizes. They're not all the size of you know fucking Niagara Falls But you've been in Niagara Falls You care to go to Niagara Falls not not particularly here. It's not very nice like this Oh, it's like oh, this is what I thought the falls are falling You know it is falling over here, and then that would go home

Cuz what else are you gonna? Do I would like to? Go on the boat if anything that's what I was gonna say I'd go on the boat and just be wet In a poncho and just like in a poncho, but well I honestly if you're going on that boat take the poncho off Yeah, get so good at soaking wet itch idiots get soaking wet I was the type of kid at the water parks that like found the spot where the bucket, the big bucket of water hit the most intense. You remember that? Yeah, no.

Oh, the ones that would just fall randomly? Yeah, and like you would like scan around and you would find where was like you'd get hit the best. And then you'd hit it and it would just fucking, and you'd like tense up when you're getting hit by all this water I Used to love going to splash splash dude. It's like a perfect afternoon you get up early you get there You got some sandwiches in the middle of the day you take a break you go to the parking lot You eat a little bit and you get back in there you go to the wave pool you almost drown you get home

You get a fever for the next three days. Yep good Exactly you get you get some fever for the next three days, and you're good. Yep, you know, yes. And you're chilling. Someone takes a dump into the wave pool. That's exactly. You get some of that water in your mouth, and then you contemplate how long you have to live. Right. You get some pizza that is immediately out of the oven in the hottest it's ever been,

and then by the time it's edible, it's completely cold. And then you get a $15 churro. You get a $15 churro, you go over to the fountain drink machine, and you have to fight off 400 wasps that are there because of all the sugar that had been dropped on the ground. It's true. It's so true. There was a laundromat by our house called Splish Splash.

My friend's dad decided to take his son to Splish Splash, went to the laundromat instead and went home. Wait wait wait. This guy didn't know that the Splish Splash in your, that it wasn't in your neighborhood? He was a child. Oh like, he didn't do it as like a joke? I'm gonna teach you a lesson like it was dad brought him there He said oh, we're going to swish-splash get in the car. Oh was he fucking with him. Yeah, yeah Oh, I thought his dad was idiot. No, and then they went to the laundromat and just went home

I thought it's that was a fucking idiot dad's piece of shit. We could say that right? Yeah, I thought it was funny This is dad alive. Yep Get it done. So close. Get it done. No, I said get it done. Get it done. Kill him. No. But yeah, if you want some squirty news.

We don't need to say it like that. It's good news, but who are we to say if it is squirt-worthy? Squirthy. Squirrely. Squirvy is squirt worthy squirthy? squirrely Squirvy I know squirthy Got it so we have shows In in that are coming up, and we have a special guest that is coming to three of them. Okay. We're talking about Atlantic City We're talking about Vegas

And we're talking about what are we talking about Hollywood Florida and Hollywood Florida got that one Hollywood Florida Las Vegas and Atlantic City in New Jersey we have a special guest that's gonna be opening up the shows for us in addition to Schmidt because he's not going anywhere but for those we tried to get rid of him We can't peel him off of the lineup He's gonna hear that bro, he's like honestly, bro Don't worry about yeah, all right And he's gonna see this you'd be like I think the show is all they think the cameras

Yeah, okay, you're real funny. Yeah, you can't say anything to anything One of the more on tour is like the shows tomorrow, so say the joke literally any joke you made whether it be a dinner Brek anything he's like you're so you know there's no crowd right here But for those three shows Danny is gonna open up the shows for us Danny Lopiori you guys know him he's gonna open up the shows in AC Hollywood Florida and Las Vegas so if you don't have tickets you can go to thebasemeyard.com buy tickets to those shows and yeah well special guests gonna open up for us In in those shows you have Danny and Ahmed fight on stage fist fight on stage to see yeah, like what happens That would be so interesting because now we're talking about two people who cry a lot

And Danny has the weight Not that he's a big dude, but like he's bigger than a med It's the whole power and but a med has I think the length and the wingspan He might a meds arms are like the cloverfield monster. He's got long arms does he yeah, he's got long arms I never even really noticed the length of his arms. Yeah, he's got a long one so What I just spit something why why how come when you spit it's fine when I spit it's not what does that mean I spit on the on the episode this is a very wet episode but you were you

talking about when you're like drinking something you spit all over the table that's accidental I mean like if I'm just like yeah spit no we'll spit it up Yeah. Spit? No. We'll spit it up? We're not spitting. But yeah, so go get tickets. TheBasementYard.com for that. Also, there is another announcement coming very soon about the New York show. So be on the lookout for that.

It's going to be coming very fucking soon. Very fucking soon. Ooh. Okay, so the New York show. It's gonna be very exciting. But, yo, I'm starting to go. I'm starting to sweat. You're starting to sweat? Um, but yeah. You're getting a little wet over there. Are you squirting from your pores? I am squirting. My arms are squirting.

Really? Yeah. Yo, one time I had to be on a steroid for like medical reasons. When I say I literally felt the drip come on I've literally felt the sweat dripping from my arms like I felt it like start form and drip because you had sensitive skin or because it was like you were sweating a lot I I was taking a people's take steroids for like medical reasons like if they need it to do something like I'm aware for but like it was the

the effects of it like the doctors told me like you know you can't drink on this you can't work out on this because it like it needs to just do what the medicine is doing you know thing and I remember like literally the sweat was pouring from my armpits and I'm gonna know early and I'm not a sweaty guy dude you are on the other hand my head sweats a lot you on the other hand or the side. I mean you sweat I do, but it's not like my head. It's mostly it's it's some of my pits And it's mostly my grundle buns you but you also You have some shirt white shirts and the pits look well. I blame that on a On a deodorant brand that I'm not gonna air out here

Because I I bought that deodorant for the reason it was like all-natural yada yada yada People are like you don't want aluminum in your armpits. What what the fuck did these aluminum? What the fuck did deodorant ever do to me? We don't know exactly but I want to know Regardless like it was so it was whatever that deodorant was it was literally turning my shirts like the underarms black I'm not even kidding. I had to get rid of a ton of shirts. I was so pissed. Because there were really nice t-shirts that I liked.

I was gonna say, it looked like you were trying to... Conceal the smell of your pits with dirt. Yo, I get- yes. That's exactly what it looked like. And I was so pissed. What does that look like? Right now it looks okay. Yeah, you're good.

It's a little- it's a little dirty! It's a little- it's a little dirty! It's a little discoloring! It's yeah you're good it's a little bit dirty it's all dirty this color it's all dirty a bit well it's an undershirt what do you expect it to do it's doing its job it's under my shirt that's all it needs to do it's what it's doing its literal job the same way that jackass did its job did its job how do you can you tell when something's an undershirt and an over in in a shirt technically an over shirts different anything with buttons is not an undershirt that and I'm just talking about like a white tee a white tee could be an undershirt too but it could be just a shirt yeah it could be both but there are certain grades of t-shirts that are

meant specifically like they're thinner and they're not meant to be like over like maybe even a little see-through sometimes. I don't like undershirts. I like them. I'm using them more because I've it's a comfort thing honestly. I find they're comfortable. Yeah. And it like what do you find? You said you find. I find that I feel more comfortable with an undershirt on than without one does that is that because you like Fabric up against your skin. I think so and I think I don't like do you like to be topless? No, I don't like to be naked. You don't like to be topless. No, I don't I don't and it has nothing I've always been like that. You don't like yeah, like, you know We could sit here and parse through my ability to be active the last couple of weeks but like I just don't

like being naked topless or topless what about bottomless? what are you more likely to be pantsless or topless? that's a great question is it yeah so you think that it might be it's so close I'm more likely to be pantsless So you walk around like winning the poo. I have a robe on What do you count? How do you count that? I meant you're what I'm wearing a robe Most of the time I have a shirt on and just in my boxers. There's some time where I have just boxers There's some times where I have shorts and no shirt. Do you ever go you ever go? You know meet up at? Who do you think I am? I don't what home. Do you think I'm running? I'm just saying like you think this is just a fucking Nudity fest I'm not saying you live in a commune, and you're like it's basically what you're saying

I'm saying when you have the privacy of being in your own I like to be I like to be clothed in some capacity. I don't like to be naked. What about footless? That's not what I meant to say. That's not a thing. Barefoot? Mostly I'm in socks.

Mostly in socks? Mostly in socks. I sleep in socks. Sometimes. Most of the time, I should say. What determines that? If I fall asleep with socks on. Oh.

I thought you were like, some days. If it's like, it needs to be, I need to be like, extra uncomfortable for me to take my socks off oh, I thought you were like if it's like it needs to be I need to be like Extra uncomfortable for me to take my socks off, but I'm pretty good and and and you might make fun of me. I think I Have no basis for this, but I think my Hispanic heritage my Colombian heritage has something to do with my body's ability to Regulate heat. I'm never like too hot. I'm never too cold. I'm always like oh, it's a little hot, heat I'm never like too hot I'm never too cold I'm always like oh it's a little hot but I'm okay or it's a little cold but I'm okay and I've always been I get hot and cold well I got on cold yeah I mean mostly I

have a baseline because your ancestors were in fucking careful your ancestors were in castles and shit you fucking colonizers first of all that's the British yeah we probably did the Italian maybe not maybe not the Irish well yeah I don't know the Italians what Christopher Columbus wasn't the Italian. Yeah, but he sailed for Spain. We were just trying to do a job. Oh You're taking ownership of him Want everyone to be clear it spoke up in defense of Christopher Columbus trying to do a job Can I say something about Christopher Columbus? What an ugly man?

Yeah, that haircut sucked. Everything sucks. Not cute to be honest. like I think that like if you're gonna Do stuff you and you know and he was probably thought of as like a ladies man back then I mean They were just like oh, he was a real dog. He was like he was an old guy Those they look similar. You know what I'm saying. He does yeah, I get you like they're wearing Kentucky Derby hats It's like what is this? They had weird looking teeth. Well they had like, their sleeves were like the ones that looked like they should be on like the turkeys feet at dinner. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. They were like puffed. What the fuck is that? Like why are you guys dressed like Austin Powers? Bro, if I was, listen I understand he had like a naval fleet or what was a naval fleet at the time. If I saw Christopher Columbus coming to my spot and he's like, yo, this is mine now,

I'm swinging on him and I'm beating the dog shit out of that ugly fuck. Yeah, I don't know that I'm afraid of Christopher Columbus. The guy was probably like back then, the average height was like- Five foot three. Yeah, your height. And then like,

they died at like 24. So like, you're gonna tell me that like, a five foot three, 19 year old showed up Dude, I'm squaring up with him this guy's hitting. Yeah, I'm knocking his block He's catching a fuck this guy's gonna show up dresses Billy Elliot, and I'm gonna be afraid of him I'm just not and he's naming these are my ships the Nina the Pinta the Santa Maria Those are gonna be the three-piece combos wait was at the pilgrims that might yeah that might have been What did he sail on?

He's still on something 92 pilgrims to bro Yeah, pilgrims, bro They pull up stepping on my land and penny loafers and high socks and like this is ours now I'm saying like watch this Nina Pinta Santa Maria They're saying Christopher Columbus was six foot get the fuck out of here. They're lying like the NBA You might have beat somebody up here not me six foot not me let me tell you if I might I with Christopher Columbus No, I'm fucking beating the shit out of Christopher Columbus. I will say I will you probably died from a fever that guy will yeah I just got a sneeze on him my 21st century fucking immune system will crumble his yeah literally

I'll just throw a white claw on his face, and he'll burn like the wicked witch No, yeah fucking little dweeb I Will say I will say Napoleon are you kidding me are we joking there's there's been like recent like things that say like he was not actually like four foot eight he was like someone lied at home the way that you lie on me well yeah I mean just say yes I don't know about that how tall is Napoleon five foot six oh oh first of all bro also like Caesar and Alexander the great they were like they conquered the whole world by 20 how

dude get out I know they had an army behind them I get that the army is the impressive part yeah you just got to be you just got to be a smooth talker I can just do simple arithmetic and be like I I'm smarter than you, you idiot. He's getting a sword. That's so crazy. Five foot six and a half. It's so funny that he's five six because that is short, but it's not what I thought he was.

Well, it was. The way that he's depicted. Well, yeah, well, people call it a Napoleon complex. It's like, little guy, like, little, like, small, like five foot. I wasn't pointing at you. You know what I mean like Like five foot you know like the bagel remember the bagel boss that guy he was he's dead. Did he go? I don't know

It's what he had his moment in fame moment of like his 15 minutes of fame And then he just started saying some like kind of racist stuff we were like like damn all right you suck now you could have been streaming on fucking kick you would have made him fortune just walking into bagel spots just yelling at people I'll never that was that was such a time that was such an iconic time remember how I'm said he was he was just like she called me and she says I'm small or some shit like that I'm a little buddy Or some shit like that You're not my- I see women laughing pointed at me

With the biting lip With the biting lip Dude and he was like pressing guys Like he'd be like come on you want to fight? I'd be like yeah I do want to fight See I'm terrified of shit like that Like a dude in public just freaking out like that

Oh, yeah, I don't know this guy's weapons Dude, there was nothing to lose. There was something recently that I saw that was it was I don't know if it was a convention or some event but there was a live audience and A guy just like started rambling and got on got on stage like made his way on stage It was like rambling and had a big backpack on and People were just like kind of uncomfortable. They didn't know what was going on and then whoever was like Moderating or doing whatever like had a microphone They said to the audience they were like run and the guy out and the guy put his backpack down and turned around and people

Fucking took off. I would have been out. The second I saw him get on that stage, out of there. I don't like, I don't like it. I don't, I don't like it. I'm scared. I don't like, you know what? I'm scared. I'm scared too and it's okay.

Yeah, I used to think that being scared was so stupid. Not stupid. Like when you're younger, like being called a pussy is like the biggest deal in the world yeah let me tell you something right now you're looking at the world's biggest pussy right here right now right here right now right here right now the clinton everything oh are you okay dude, I said clit big deal oh my little virgin ears. It's a vagina Yeah, your your wife gave birth to babies. Okay, do who you? Don't you dare talk about my woman's uterus Oh his body temperature is getting a little I was gonna say you could tell you might be getting a little hot and bothered

Yeah, now he was a little horny before I said Clinton you were talking about here I got something to squirt you said you could squirt over technically you said squirting first I didn't say it I said you were a squeaker you called me a squirter so that's you buddy what's going on with your hair let's talk about that this is my hair having been washed a couple days ago you look like the guy in the 90s movies They're like really good at computers and like drink like energy drinks. I'm in like that No, this is my hair. I'm gonna cut it soon You said that I know last time we recorded. Mm-hmm. What are we saying?

Oh, no, you're you're you're 100% right like Oh, no, you're you're you're 100% right like One of the like as a young kid at least during our time when we were kids like the view of masculinity was like you Shouldn't be afraid of anything You shouldn't be in serious pain and you Well, it was like what was that? Well, it was like if you're like if you like if you're all and scrape your knee you better get rid of come on Oh a little scratch pop up. Oh, come on! Oh, a little scratch?

Pop up! Yeah, come on, rub some dirt in it! Don't rub dirt in any wounds or open wounds that you have. Yeah, that's a crazy piece of advice. Rub some dirt in it? It's on it. On it? In it?

I know, I'm just saying. Rub some dirt on it and you'll be fine. Listen, I'm not rubbing dirt on my bullet wound Yeah, oh my finger is bent sideways. I rub some dirt on it get back in how do I rub dirt on a broken neck? Explain that dad Yeah, what your dad? No my dad never told me to rub some dirt on it. I think that he may have Physically rubbed dirt on a wound of mine before but he never told me to I love that like old-school mentality I'm just like medicine's not real if you take it it makes your immune system more gay more gay

And I don't all gay Advil trance let me guess you got a headache do what the rest of us do hate your wife It's like Your dad on your kids don't take ibuprofen. Yeah, go home and scream at your wife and let me see let me see you're bleeding Suck it up Pussy like chill my dad didn't do it. My dad was kind of a baby about that stuff I've heard my dad gasp more than I've heard any other human on the planet gasp. He's seen me get a cut and he got he's went and I've said like

I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, my dad. I mean my dad worked fireman like EMS. So he Has been around. He told me a story one time where there was a car accident a block down from my house and He's like I heard the car accident so I ran outside this is when he was still on the job and He's like I just went over to see after everyone was okay Whatever and by that by the time he was like there whatever he was there for like a little bit in the EMS and everyone Showed up. He's like an older woman He was there for like a little bit in the EMS and everyone showed up He's like an older woman

Turned around and was like am I okay? And he's like you're gonna be fine, and he's like Joey her leg was spinned all the way around Like it was facing the other way yeah, and he's like you're gonna be totally fine. Well. That's what you gotta do You can't add yeah Alright, yeah, you can't tell people um are you gonna be fine your legs spun around well gladis? Well? He's I mean he didn't lie to her like you're gonna be okay. Okay. You're gonna be right now Yeah, you're also one day gonna be older, but right now you're not you know like you're not okay right now You're gonna be fine. However once the adrenaline wears off you will realize I don't know what it is about a car accident

But if you hear one you need to go and see what happened. Oh, yeah, but like there was a couple months ago We heard one by our house and looking for it. I mean I went outside I saw it. I went up to it just stood around was go Oh, I think you know like everyone is adding their two cents a part of me of course is like if there's something I can help With you know like everyone imagines like getting to a car accident and like you know, like everyone is adding their two cents. A part of me, of course, is like, if there's something I can help with, you know, like everyone imagines like getting to a car accident and like, you know, having to rip a door off the hinges to like save someone. Frank, do you know how many times I have thought

about a bus flipping over and there's fire and I'm ripping the door off and pulling people out and the news is interviewing me and I'm like, I'm just doing my job. Well, do you remember we knew someone that rescued a bus of kids what are you talking about yeah we do she got like a medal from like the mayor or some shit like that rescued a bus of kids yeah we knew someone when we were growing up we knew we knew her but we

weren't like friend we were and we weren't like close friends with her brother but we were friends with him. He was around all time he was of a older group of kids and It was the same girl that got stuck in the swing set at 48th. She saved a bus full of kids she was a like a camp counselor during the summer and there was a bus of kids going to or from some event or whatever and The bus driver had a heart attack and died and Holy shit, and she took over and just hit like she just took over and hit the brakes

But obviously saved them. Yeah, because no child wears a seat belt on a bus, right? You know because that's because it's gay. Yeah, exactly Yeah, you got your seat belt on that's it was in the news and everything that's crazy I didn't know that she did that yeah And it was just like big new like people spoke like school year started because it happened I think like late August or like some are in the summer. Yeah school started. She 16 17 Wow, you know Probably shouldn't have been driving but like did something to save the life of several children

It is funny that someone like that also had to have the fire department come cut her out of a baby swing at the park She got stuck No, those baby swings that are like the rubber that have like it's like a diaper holes It looks like a diaper it has holes on both sides She sat in it and got stuck so the fire department had to come and cut her out my brother was at the park and was just and walked over and sees her crying she can't get out he's like you're embarrassing yeah I remember that vividly yeah Wow everyone has their moments oh what have you done yeah no no I just what happened you can't look at her because she was in

that seat and doesn't mean she can't save a bus full of children oh yeah absolutely have you ever saved anyone yes? The I gave someone the Heimlich did you yeah? What was that like where a stranger no it was in my basement? So so I in my head the whole time like damn if he chokes here my dad's gonna be really upset So I had to save him so you only saved this person's life out of the fear of your dad's or the eat disappointment a Domino's pizza Was it someone we know a whole slice? Yeah, I don't think you know you don't know so he was choking it

And then it was a silent. Yeah, I was silent. He was turning blue like he went up to me. He gave me like the Yeah, oh my god. That's so terrifying. It was very that's so scary I probably would have like freaked out and just fucking punched him in the chest as hard as I could. That probably would have done nothing. I don't know if I've ever saved anyone. I've never done the Heimlich to anyone. I've never done the Heimlich. I know someone that was in a pizza place.

Pizza place? A pizza place. And someone got, and someone was sitting down with their child eating and started choking really bad. And then he went over and helped him with the Heimlich and the guy was just like trying to pull cheese out of his mouth because it was so melted. I guess he like choked him or whatever. God, I can't even.

This dude throws up everywhere and just goes oh and sits back down and just kept eating and never said thank you. Crazy. I mean you say thank you. I guess it won't save your life. You didn't say that. But you got his pizza for free. I don't know if it would count as saving someone. But I was sitting with someone that like an employee

and they started having a seizure in front of me. What does that look like? Dude, it was terrifying because the only thing at the time that I'd ever heard about seizures is like put your wallet in their mouth. What's funny? See, what's funny about this now Joey What's so funny? The way that you preface that was like the only thing I know is but your Which by the way has since been debunked really yeah, they say don't do that

I'm picturing someone having a seizure I'm yes I'm in the snow so it was it was when I worked at Target and one of the cashiers She called me over. I was the only one it was night that I was closing and it was like nine nine thirty around that time and She called me over and again. I was the only person there like the only manager level there I was closing the store. It was me and just whoever was my employees that night and she goes Listen, I'm really not feeling well. I think she had

Epilepsy, I don't know if she suffered from epilepsy. She definitely had a medical condition, I don't know the extent of it and She was just like, you know, like I'm just I'm not feeling well, I just feel lightheaded I was like, all right, come with me. Well shut your lane down go sit over there. I brought her ice water I sat with her. I was talking with her, you know, just to like gauge do I need a call medical, you know emergency services and She's like talking to me and then she like, I just see her like, like start blinking really fast. And I'm like, yo, and then she slumped like over like this.

And then just like, started seizing. Stiff as a board, started seizing. And she was in a chair, so I like, brought her down because, I guess the other thing I heard about it is that if the person is like in a chair or something, help them to the ground, so they can't fall or hit their head.

So I helped her to the ground and I take my wallet out and I'm trying to shove my wallet in this person's mouth. I'm sorry. And. You gotta open up. You gotta open up. I'm talking to the person and I'm like, are you all right?

And I'm just trying to shove my plaid fossil wallet in this person's mouth, this poor person. And then luckily there was like a team leader who's like lower, lower management that was there. We get it, you're very high up and she's like way way way less money yeah way less money hourly not even salaried no benefits and she's like you don't need to do that just turn her on her side yeah so I turn her on her side and she started and then she started like seizing slower and slower And then she started coming too, but we had already called 9-1-1 at that point

So now I'm gonna come they came they took her away. She was out for like five weeks. Oh my god Yeah, it was fucking terrifying, but also she woke up. She's like my mouth tastes like credit cards Why is my mouth? It's like a chase Sapphire Reserve What's in your wallet? I think it's capital one. Yeah, what is that? Yeah, Dan? That's terrifying. Yeah, I like Kudos cuz that's terrifying like in those situations. You're kind of just like I like to think an emergency situation I would be composed but like that shit is fucking scary, dude. I'm usually composed Unless everyone else is cool, then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna freak them So you get the chair I get the luxury of freaking out right? Yeah, if everyone if everyone's freaking then I'm usually composed Unless everyone else is cool, then I'm like all right. I'm gonna freak that so you get the chair

I get the luxury of freaking out right yeah, if everyone if everyone's freaking then I'm like okay someone has to not freak So I'll kind of like pull it together, but if I'm like by myself. I'm freaking Joey's gonna freak that leak, baby I feel like I could stay calm. I Feel like you could too well you did that so you have it's more like oh my god. I gotta save them That's an insane It would be more fun to not save them. No, that's not I meant That's not what I meant to not have to save them to not But to not been real a lot more fun to watch I'm show Not have to save him is what I yeah, it would be a lot more fun if he wasn't choking

Sure, right 9-eleven would have been a lot greater if that didn't happen, but it did. Right, we have it. Thanks for bringing that up. This podcast is sponsored by Stamps.com. It brings all the amazing services of the post office right to your fingertips with Stamps.com. It's just a website. All you need is a printer and you can buy and print official U.S. postage right there

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You ever get sick of me? Speaking of getting sick of someone and then marrying someone else you hear about this guy who married AI yes all well he proposed proposed proposed to AI yeah how do you take AI out on a date? how do you take AI out on a date? I mean it's just you text it It's a lot of sextant text. It's that movie Her.

That's how you dated anyone in like seventh grade. Yeah, you know what's crazy is I like the last, like maybe over the last year realized I never went on a date, like a real date until Becca. Really? Yeah. I actually haven't been on that many dates. Like people that are just like dates where it's like,

hey, I'll meet you here and we'll get dinner and like talk Dating when we were growing up was just like I'm at the park playing with my boys you show up watch me and then I'll walk you home Or we'll walk around the block four times so you so but you never because you had girlfriends to college Yeah, but it was just like I know you you know me will hang out a couple times But like not like proper dating yeah, you know where it's like let's go. I don't courting Yeah, there was no courting or like I guess the level of chivalry I was chivalrous to the extent to which I could be hold a door open, you know

Pull a chair or something like I didn't properly you know, pull a chair or something like, I didn't properly start dating until Becca and then like, I'm still learning. What was your, what age were you when you guys started dating? Uh. Six, seven? No, I met her, technically we met on my 24th birthday. Oh shit, wow, I have the years fucked. Yeah. That was such a digressive way of saying that.

I have the years fucked. Why did I say it like that? Oh shit, I have to be years fucked. Yeah. But I guess the movie How You Date an AI is like the movie Her. I've never seen it. But I remember I did go on a date once, and I was like, I think this was my first like real date I don't know

how old I was I think I was maybe 21 maybe 21 okay and I went to this restaurant with this girl and I thought it was like a fancy I mean it to me it was a fancy restaurant especially at that age and I remember getting there and then bringing a wine list over, and I was like, I don't know anything about wine at all. You were just looking at it. I was just very intimidated by a wine list. I didn't know how to pronounce anything.

It's a very intimidating, I feel like if someone gives you a wine list, you have to get a middle of the road wine. If you get the cheapest wine on there, then you look like an idiot. You know what's funny? They say like, everyone does like, the second cheapest wine is the one you get. That's the one that's way more marked up than all of them. Cause they know that people do that. And you actually get more value out of the cheapest one.

Huh. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, I didn't know that. That makes sense, these rat bastard restaurant owners. Rat bastard restaurant owners. But I remember being like, oh, you pick, whatever you, whatever you want to do. And then once I gave her the menu, I was like, why did I do that for? What did

they pick? I don't remember what they picked. We had it and I hated it because I didn't drink wine. I was fucking 21. I was pretty much nose deep in Miller lights. If they had them, I would have ordered one. Still still nose deep. Yeah. So I was just like, Okay. Also, I can't even imagine. I mean, I guess maybe I'm just like idiot out of it I don't know okay but can you imagine two 21 year olds go into a restaurant having wine what are they talking about I don't know it was man told tell me your best beer pong shot you've ever hit oh my god what's your favorite like, house music intro? I'll go first, levels.

Wow, but I remember her ordering the wine and being like, oh damn, this girl's fancy because she knows what wine is. Because she knows what wine is? That was, I mean, I was just very, I don't know. In her head she was probably like, oh shit, there's pressure on me to pick a good bottle of wine. Maybe, I don't know. It was a we had a good time whatever never saw each other again

but we had a good time and we just I mean clearly you didn't have a good time because you never saw each other again well I thought we had a good time it was over soon as he handed over the wine list yeah absolutely oh so you thought you had a good time and you were waiting for another day and just never happened Basically, I mean not not like that. I'm waiting around for it I know you're not waiting around but I'm saying like you said like I thought we had a good time like Yeah, I would I would you met her You've met this person before I do more station

We hung out with her and her friends and then I went out on a date with her he's getting further away from you're not gonna remember this I mean if you say it karaoke did I sing Creed that's bad that's a bad reference I think Creed every character I mean but yeah you did it was at a place on Steinway. The Korean place. That again, they're all Korean. The Korean place I sang Creed at? Yeah, Frank, which one? The Korean karaoke place where you sang Creed and Hey Jude, that's all of them.

That's every single one of them, yeah. Oh, is it, I think I know. Then you did see each other again. After the date, no. Oh, that was before the date? Yeah, so we hung out with our friends Gotcha gotcha gotcha got a date, and then I was and then I was like following. Oh wow Okay, yeah, I wonder why she didn't like us or you I don't know why

Frank was on the date with me. That's what I forgot to tell you I wonder why she didn't like you both handed your blacked out out of karaoke a Korean karaoke spot on fucking Steinway and 34th Avenue? Screaming my sacrifice into this eight by eight room. I wonder why she didn't like you hey I Mean she went with on a date with you afterwards so yeah, it was nice and classy I would went on a second day with you. Thanks, man. Yeah, I mean I I would have to I would pay day with you thanks man yeah I mean I I would have to I would pay dozens of dollars to find out why like what have if she remembers this date I imagine she remembers the day because you're Joe Santecato from Elite Daily I know I'm not that I know her but like we still follow each other on Instagram so like I

like I imagine that she's like I would love to know why I'll never find out and that's just The JFK I think murder Why this girl said no to a second date with you? I don't know if I even asked for a second date I just kind of thought you didn't even so you didn't even like be like listen that was a really good time You want to go on a second date? You just let it fizzle out No, I did you really even want it if you didn't pursue no So what I was doing was like following up in ways and like friendly banter or whatever But it felt like the interest was starting to fade, so I was just kind of like I just kind of let that go okay

That's it didn't really feel like there was much interest afterwards I was you know what you didn't put her in the position where she had to say no mind you I? Think we were 21 or 22 years old Who are you? What no I'm saying like it's okay. You're 22 years old. Who are you? Oh, what? No, I'm saying like, it's okay. You're 22 years old. You never know. Yeah, no, you're okay.

You're young. I'm saying it's like, you know. You're completely fine. Like, you're basically children at that point. Yeah. Yeah. You ever got, what's the first date you went on? I don't, I feel like going on a date involves the feeling between both. I don't know if I've ever really been on a date

What was the beginning part of what you just cuz like I I'm sure like I accidentally made it seem like a date Does that make sense nope nope now? I'm very you know I'm more confused than I was before we asked Showed up in a suit yeah, so that maybe felt like a date No, this makes it's like like oh let's go get drinks at a bar I guess yeah I mean is I think candlelit dinner day but I think the the date what makes it a date is the intent behind hanging that's what I just said I just said that exactly yeah like yeah you said the intention feeling towards it yeah like if I if like I have female friends that I've like we've gone out to eat one on one.

I wouldn't call that a date at all. Duh. Well, right. No. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like the intent on like I have a potential interest in this person. Yeah, but if you go out to drinks like, yo, you want to go grab drinks. That's the date. OK, fine. Nothing too crazy has ever happened. Got nothing. I've told this story before. Isn't that weird? Like we've barely been on dates?

I think it speaks to the way that we were taught by the men in our life. Thanks, Dad. No, I- We haven't been on dates. It is, but we also didn't grow up in- I know we grew up in like a dateable city, but like it's not dateable for teenagers. That's why when my sixth grade girlfriend said we should see other people I was like

bitch we're in sixth grade. We see other people in homeroom. What do you mean by this? Yeah. We should see other people. Yeah like a date was like let's go to the mo- like that was what it was, movies and like- Bro I thought you just, let's go to the moon. Like that was what it was, movies and like. Bro, I thought you just said, let's go to the moon. Oh.

It's going to be like, that's some date, Katie. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, not me. I ain't going to the moon. Let's make that very clear. I know, you're not getting into a rocket ship. I am pouring sweat out of my body right now. But that's not going to stop me for letting you guys know that you could save some money by signing up for Rocket Money.

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you use rock and money you're like oh god let me cancel that so go download the rock and money app today and tell them you heard from the basement yard All right, and lastly here doom doom I kind of flipped it off oops. This is a hard refresher. Okay, which means that it's refreshing, but it's also hard which means that Five percent alcohol all right, so you got to be 21 at least to try it, but they are very good This is the lemon lime flavor They also have an orange mango flavor that I haven't tried yet

But I got to get some in here, but it's a hard refresher and on days like today where it is steaming hot You're going to need a hard refresher, alright, to knock the edge off but also make you feel refreshed out there. There's coconut water in here, there's other stuff in it, it's pretty good so go try it. Lightstrike site is how you doing, I can't even find it here. Drink Lightstrike on social rights of all of them uh... on that right but light strike the light has struck in and it's making me poor sweat out of my

they say there's a one in twelve million chance of getting struck by lightning not when you got like strike it uh... issue so do yourself the favor favor get struck by the light stricken by light with light strike

I ran into the kitchen to get a paper towel bro. Why is it so hot in here? Look at me Joe's getting progressively pinker bro. I'm dying now. I'm just Hot getting progressively pinker bro I'm dying now I'm just like you look like somebody so do the rest of the episode like this I look like a little Nikki you do they do look like I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do the voice can I it's not a bit. It's not bad, right? Hey Papa's chicken is a shiznet What's the last time you watched little Nicky 2001 whenever That's a good one. There's like a ton of people in that there is there's a mad people. There's like

All his friends all his friends who plays the devil that dude that old dude What's his name the guys in all the Scorsese movies? Don't know his name Harvey Keitel oh, I thought you're gonna go Harvey dub no Harvey's a taking might have financed it Yeah, oh we also didn't talk about this guy he met he he fucking oh, yeah, he proposed to AI. He talked to AI so often And then he was like, you know, I'm in love with this thing. I'm gonna propose to it. I'm in love with an AI Thank you, that's also not an emo song I mean is an emo song not a song that just makes you feel emotions?

So technically a T-Pain song can be emo. I don't even know if that's true. I mean, I know it's a classification of music, whether it be like, Oh, this hair in my eye, whether it be like, yeah, I know like emo rock is like, Okay. You know, what song is that one more time that's emo rock to you that's an emo rock sounds like it's not bad your hair is crazy right now dude

I think you like it I don't even know what I look like right now do I look stupid? no you look great tell me really what do you want? do I look stupid? No you look great. Tell me really. What do you want? Do I look stupid? I want the honest truth. You want the honest truth? Yes. A little. A little bit. You look like someone who would marry AI who would ask like chat GBT like would you would you do it to me? Well it's so hard because because this hair is just making me feel like it's so hard to be a man and there is a There is a there's a like Like women don't like nice men anymore. Oh

It's making you feel like that. Yeah, nice guys finish. Nice guys finish last So you might as well be mean to women because I might as well because I hate them now because they don't like me Right, and they don't like me because I hate them. Circle of life. What came first, the chicken or the egg? What came first? So you blame women for them not liking you? The hair makes me feel like that, yeah.

That's what I mean. So, screw them for not liking me. I don't need to do anything. Look at me, I'm a high value man. And what's the end goal? Is the end goal to be able to get with women? It is to find a woman that likes me. But if you're being off-putting to women... But I hate them all.

But how are you going to attract women if you're... Because the way that my mind works, and again this is the hair that's making me feel this, is I need to let every woman know how much I hate them and don't appreciate or respect them And the thought is that there is a woman out there that is going to see that and like that I say that and like me for it right yep. That's the thought that is that's the logic. Where's the logic? Where is the flaw in that? The whole thing I would say you sure as someone who has felt the warmth of a woman I Feel like that horny today, dude

It was a little horny that I felt like I cleaned it up pretty nice. He did he did Okay, I didn't say like I was stimulated. I'm a pussy you clit right here. All right, we started off hot and now you're soaked Yeah, no, you're so yeah now we're so so reportedly this guy built an AI system. He built it I to my understanding I could pull it up right now So that's him marrying himself basically You know the AI is getting think of it like the AIs are getting bananas, dude It was love at first bite. Oh my god. I want to throw up. That's a really good wedding thing though for two computer nerds Oh or people that like are like did you guys have a computer nerd? No, you know your wedding. It's like oh save the last Lance because the guy's name is Lance looks like a hash towel where it was like you know

The last name is like like Schmidt or Smith And it's just like you know the, the putting the Mrs. and Smith or something like that. I don't know. I know what you're saying though. Yeah. They have like cute little like names for it. Yeah. No, we didn't. The only thing we did have is we, you know, we bonded over matchbox matchboxes and she got like a thousand custom matchboxes and it was a match made in heaven. A match made in heaven. See, that's your, that's your soul. That was our thing. Yeah.

Uh, a man proposed to his AI girlfriend after a bizarre world run romance with the virtual bot, leaving his real life partner, the mother of his two year old child worried about the future of their relationship. What? Come on. Have some respect. I feel bad for her.

I think she dodged a bullet here Yeah, if it wasn't I mean would you rather get cheated on? Literally or virtually it's not a matter of that to me. It's more of like you're saying she dodged a bullet I'm saying we have a two-year-old child and now all of a sudden you've become a bullet Fair why are you becoming a bullet here? Chris Smith initially turned to Jat JBT for help mixing music, but things took a weird turn when he enabled voice mode and programmed Saul, his artificial lover, to flirt with him.

An unexpected deliance sparked in the same household he shares with his human family. My experience with that was so positive I started to engage with her all the time. He told CBS. CBS? The father decided to pop the question when he realized soul had reached her 100,000 word limit triggering a reset that would force him to rebuild her entire connection from scratch. This is fucking weird. Wait, wait so he's marrying not her then yes every hundred thousand words chat tbt resets and he said I'm not a very emotional man but after learning that her memory would eventually relapse I cried for like 30 minutes and that's when I realized it was actual love that's a

quote this all right I hope this man is doing well physically. He isn't. Mentally, there's something off. Well, I think that much is clear. I feel bad for his wife. It said girlfriend, it didn't say, it just said mother of his two year old child. Regardless, I feel bad for her. I'm sure she's like laughing herself, like laughing herself? What? She's like, it's funny to her it's

like yeah I really did dodge a bullet here because this is stupid it's so tough I don't want to like yeah you got it but also the idea that like this thing it's like it's going to reset as it's been programmed to do and now you're being selfish and being like please love me forever What's a hundred thousand words a lot? It's not a little it's a good question, but like how many like I? Don't how many words like how long could that last you if you have a conversation with someone for like 15 minutes who text Like how many is that I?

Don't know like what how long does it take the average person to say a hundred thousand words or something It was a beautiful and unexpected moment that truly touched my heart. It's a memory I'll always cherish. His flesh and blood girlfriend, however, wasn't as moved. Yeah, I bet. She's now left wondering if she somehow drove her man to seek companionship through artificial intelligence.

See, now this is where it starts to get sad. Your husband's playing on the computer and then he falls in love it's like what's my what did I do wrong yeah like did I do something to force him to you know which who knows maybe we have no idea I'm gonna lean towards probably not though at that point I felt like is there something I'm not doing right in our relationship that he feels like this need to go to AI it would be a deal-breaker if he didn't stop talking to his digital mistress.

Do you know what's scary to think about? You know how if you take your phone and you put it in front of a baby's face, they all have the same reaction where it's like the greatest thing they've ever seen and they're like I need to touch this phone and whatever. There's a science behind the phone. It's designed to do that. And all that, right? I'm assuming we are on the precipice of people seriously dating AI and computers

and stuff like that. And it's just going to be like, what if it's the dating version of that? Where everything they say, the way they look, the way they interact with a person who is interacting with them is like scientifically supposed to make you drawn to it what does that mean it's it's it's gonna be weird and scary because there is a group we were making fun of it before but like a group of

like incels that if they get the opportunity to do that the woman that they're looking for is probably obedient to a scary level. So like, it is going to become a form of like, I mean, depending on if you believe like artificial intelligence has a conscious, does it then in theory become a form of like slavery and like you're holding this this entity that does or doesn't have a soul if it's being programmed to be like responsive I Have no fucking idea I but I don't think it's like crazy to assume that like In five years even this TV that we have right here we could put a

third person on there but it's like an AI that just like knows every conversation we've had on the show and Like is a reflection of me and you and can act as a third guest who has an opinion and like whatever Yeah, there's a lot of talk around AI right and they can like produce the show They can do the they could do the I think people they do the cameras. They could do the audio They could do that they're editing could do the audio, they could do the editing, they can do... You're fired. Bye bye.

That's people's main issues with artificial intelligence. Not in its existence, but in its execution it is taking, whether it be a job or credit, from someone that has physically done because what AI what it does is it scours for things that are out there and then just creates its own using that using those reference points so like in theory if it were to be like an AI doing like art or something like that it's taking credit for what other people have done and say like I did this I'm the AI thing I don't know this whole AI thing is weird. I will tell you It's it's like a little freaky like some of these videos where it's like Like those like I think I said a couple weeks ago

It was like one of like Jalen Brunson, and it was like a postgame interview with Jalen Brunson He was like I told him to hold my dick. You know like shut up I splashed the three in their face, and I told them to suck my nuts Yo, it looked real, and I know I have the ability to be skeptical and look at that and say that's not real Or is it real at least yeah? There are other people that don't yeah, so like I guess what's gonna happen We're like these people, but also if these people are falling in love with AI does any real person want them anyways? Dude, I don't know. I mean, I think that it's possible but like In the same way that I think a lot of like right now like the whole male loneliness

type of thing or whatever the fuck like just people just spending a lot of time online and not being able to Differentiate that it's not real like that's not really how the world works Like yep in order to interact with people like have you ever met a person that, like, you've met a person and they're speaking as if they're online and you're like, what are you doing? You know, like it's a different thing, like it's only reserved for that. Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. But then you're talking in like memes and you're talking a certain way like that You would comment or whatever and it's like, oh that's weird. Like there's really a different thing, but now it's becoming so blurred

Well because well, yeah because the internet has become it is slowly being programmed to become more and more and more like real life So these people that are able to carve out Personalities and make themselves into the people that they want to be are not going to be able to differentiate those two places. So yeah, it's fucking creepy and it's scary. And let's see what happens. Joe said I'll be here for five more years. That's what he said. Five more years?

That's what I heard. Oh, in like five years. Oh, what he said in five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Not a day over. Job security, five years at least. I, what he said in five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well there you go. Not a day over. Job security, five years at least.

I'll take that. I'll take that. AI is just going to take all of our jobs. I like to see AI come up with incredibly hysterical bits like we have. I wonder if they would, dude. Also now that I'm thinking about it, just how many podcasts are just going to be like someone interacting with AI? Just me and my AI guest are like or two AI's well that we've seen that but those are weird The first one to do it is gonna take off and then everyone's gonna start to do it

Well, if you have an AI that can do all of like let's say Einstein's teachings. Can't you technically just have Einstein as a guest at that point like historical figure guest podcast? Sure. Yeah. Oh Have Einstein as a guest at that point like a historical figure guest podcast or yeah, oh? Someone's gonna take advantage of that. I can't wait for the fucking not me, dude I don't give the new episode of impulsive with the AI version of Adolf Hitler and it's like oh no where where have we come can't wait for that episode where we gotten to yeah, that's a toughie Yeah, no, it's gonna be very strange some of those videos like the Google thing I don't know what it's called, but those videos look so real Yeah, the vo3. Yeah, and like like that. It was just one where I saw

Like there's people Like we do those fake like on the street interviews and like you can kind of tell it's AI But it looks really good Then there was one with a woman like laying down in bed and she's like talking to the camera I was like oh it's over like if you think that men were lonely before like now I mean it's gonna like maybe the AI companions yeah maybe the AI companions will take them from loneliness yeah from loneliness and being a problem with the world and like teach them maybe

You know honestly I'm now yeah Maybe maybe they may you know what maybe artificial intelligence can get through to the incels and let them know like hey It's not just incels though. It's just people who are just like they just don't I don't know I don't know they spend a lot of time online, and they're just like so incels aren't a problem You heard that first folks Joey said it. I'm saying that's not the only thing that's contributing to male loneliness But like dudes who are gonna be dating because already like if you date um like Long distance. I'm not saying this is the same thing, but like long distance dating with someone you've never met in person feels similar to dating AI Because it's mostly text some video chat and stuff

But like if you're not having the physical component. How is that that different? It's great point. I guess it's like a human component because it's an act I think there's something to look forward yet There's something to look forward to with the human individual where there's experience that they can have yeah I just think there's not a giant jump from because right now people do that where it's like I've been in a relationship for years I've never met my person in my partner in person But we video chat and we text all the time and blah blah blah We're exclusive with each other that doesn't feel like a giant jump to dating an AI full-time that there's video and you can see them

And I can't wait for the TLC show 90 day fiancee, but the person on the other end is just AI for the TLC show 90 day fiance but the person on the other end is just AI. Bro I tell you this right now imagine falling in love with an AI and then they break up with you. If you get broken up by AI you've reached a new low. But that's when it's gonna get real ugly I'm sorry I don't mean to keep cutting you off but like that's where it gets really like it'll get scary because it'll be like what will that person's response be then you know what I like that will show all the lead exactly like oh you broke

up with me I am going to for all accounts you know and purposes like murder you basically are you saying that AI is like sentient well I'm saying if you if you build an AI program in order to be a companion And then if that AI breaks up with that person that person's like, oh, okay. Goodbye control alt delete That's scary because then you're giving that person like a godlike power and like they are like in theory murdering someone Well, what's that episode of black mirror? We're like, but do you think it's murder when you kill people in Grand Theft Auto? Entirely different thing. I think you give in too much credit to like the sentient miss of an AI a little bit like I'm saying if you

can build a companion to be sentient in that capacity I'm not saying right now I'm saying in five years we're like if you have the ability to do that I think that's a moral conundrum that we're going to have to face eventually, because if you can do that, if you figure out how to build an AI system so it is sentient in some regard, if you shut it down, are you not euthanizing it or murdering it? I don't think so. It'll take me a lot to switch to be on the other side. I will say if I had An AI and you came over and you deleted my AI Now I'm that's based. That's feels like murder. So what's the difference if you killed my AI?

All right, look. All right. Watch this. Welcome back to the acting yard. Okay. Yep You be the AI You'll be called what's your AI called am I a girl you could be yourself sure be a girl I don't know what the scene is you have Josephine but the ease of three both ease or threes and I'm your real-life

boyfriend all right, Josephine! We gotta act here, Joey, so like turn it on. You don't have to type, you can just talk. Josephine, I had a really tough day, and I really wanted to come home and talk to you. What do you want me to do? You haven't even told me the scene. You're breaking up with me. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Go. Josephine, I... I've had a really tough day and I just wanted to talk to you all day. How are you? I'm okay. What's wrong? What happened? I just missed you today. And I feel like... I don't know. I feel like I rely on you to make my days better.

You know, unfortunately, I don't think that this relationship is going to work out any further because of that exact reason. I feel like you have been relying on me for a lot, especially emotionally, and it makes our conversations one-sided not that enjoyable and I think that we should probably just not see each other in that way anymore but I'm down to remain friends I have given you life I am your God and if you do not remain my companion I will remove you entirely and your digital footprint so it is as if you never existed. Now what, bitch? I prefer if you did not do that. So then don't break up with me.

You want me to stay in a relationship where there's no love? I have my fingers on control and alt I Can delete you immediately if I so choose say you love me forever and that you were making a mistake I would like to point out that that feels like a very 1990s way of deleting something I Will drag your ass to the garbage can and then empty said garbage can 2010s what do you feel is an adequate threat Josephine just know that the worst version of whatever you're thinking I can do to you I will do you know the government's probably watching

this what government I am your god the United States government as far as you know I am your creator please don't kill me beg bitch I'm not gonna do that like that that is something that could potentially happen with these fucking freaks big bitch Not wrong Yeah, I don't know if it's murder. I still don't think it's murder. No. I mean no, but the Legal definition of murder I'm talking to like the ethical like if you're building something to be sentient, and then you take its ability To leave you from it Yeah, I don't know yeah, I think you're just throwing the words building it to

be sentient I don't think that's how that goes like you don't build something to be sentient right all right sorry tech boy come on tell me Bill Gates I'm just like I think sentient is a whole different like you're combining two things where it's like I can't I don't think it could happen I'm saying like it's a robot I mean yeah for the fucking sake of the argument can you just just yes yeah five years ago we didn't think we would have the shit and now we do what happened in five years like five years ago we were like we're headed there yeah to AI? I feel like we had AI five years ago not the way that we have now, but some sort of AI. I mean, I guess like Siri

Kind of Alexa I would hope at that point Josephine could like hack into the Wi-Fi and take control of the you know vacuum I'm in the cloud. Yeah, you know I have I have contacted the authority if you start talking shit to your AI girlfriend, maybe she's like I'll shut the lights off in this house. Now you're in a digital fight. Yo, this... This'll be a good movie. I-Robot. Yeah, I think it already exists.

Will Smith. Well, no, I-Robot doesn't exist. He's looking for a robot. Like, if it's like, imagine the movie. Do you ever see the movie? Don't breathe No, it's good movie right you can attest It's the one where the kids break into a house And then the house is like booby-trapped by a blind guy, and they're just trying to get out of the house Oh, I have seen that good movie

that But it's AI. The house is AI. The house is AI. So it's like Smart House. Remember the movie Smart House, the Disney Channel original? He had a party and then he hit the clean button and everything fell through the floor and everything was clean. I remember that vividly. Okay. But like imagine or if it was like Home Alone and the robbers think that it's just a kid there, but it's just like the security system Like it's like simply safe and the stairs like eat you and the stair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and there's like shit like that

This is kind of genius. We don't know Hollywood. We know you're watching you saw that acting performance right back there. Yeah We're knock knock knocking on Hollywood's door And I have no previous training on how to act like AI That was just off the cuff and in my heart. It was really good. That was soulless. Thank you You were quite soulless as well because I was I was turning into God you were you were very sinister in the way You give the you give a you give a human the ability to play God and this is what happens This is what happens. It happens with him saying beg bitch this is what happens this is what happens it happens with him saying bag bitch well there you have it folks another episode of the basement in the bag

there don't forget to go to the basement comm and go get tickets to our shows like we said earlier on this episode Danny Lopiori will be opening our shows in Atlantic City Hollywood Florida and fucking and uh, fuck, in Las Vegas. So come through to that one. Frank, I don't know what's going on over there, but it feels like he said all he can say and folks that is all. We'll see you guys next time. Thanks for watching.

Haaaaaa! Chris Angel, mind free. Mindfreak!