The Basement Yard - #521 - The First Day Of School
Episode Date: September 22, 2025I'm not ready to cry today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Welcome back to the basement.
Welcome back to the basement yard.
How you doing, Frank?
It's been a day.
It's been a day.
Oh, I just realized you're wearing a Rainforest Cafe shirt.
Sort of.
It says Picky Boys Cafe as a whole.
Enjoy the lawsuit.
Fucking moron.
What are you doing?
They're coming after you for that one, my friend.
Get this guy.
Well, I guess they're like.
on the way out the rainforest cafe so they're probably
i mean he's keeping them fucking yeah you're single-handedly
if anything yeah they should thank me yeah when we were in
Vegas I passed by one in the in the tax in the the the Uber
and I was just I sent the picture to him and he's like I would go with you
a hundred times over a hundred you know like I'm just down I just
is it like it's it's just like a Fridays right like a TGI Fridays
yeah but like way cooler because of the leaves fake leaves yeah and because every like
30 minutes they play thunder and lightning and water sounds yep do they yeah yeah yeah that's the
idea of the rainforest part of it that makes sense and it's just like cheap looking i'd rather go to
chucky cheese brother well this is a horrible battle why i'd rather go to hell than both one of them
probably is like hell i'll let you figure out which one uh yeah it's been it's been it's been a
it's been a day why it was i mean you know why it was uh ruby's first day of school
Yeah. I did wait. I got text this morning from you and Greg.
It was also, yeah, it was Greg's daughter's first day of school.
Yeah.
This was like her first, first.
Yeah. And it was a tough day for daddy.
Yeah, you were out there, just letting it go, crying.
Was she crying? No.
No. I held it together until I got in the car because.
The car on the way there or way home?
Wow.
Which way?
A little bit of both.
Got it.
It started, I woke up, I went, you know, I went to the gym,
and then it started the second I got home from the gym.
Because I was just thinking like, oh, fuck.
It's going to happen today.
And then I set up, I don't know if you guys have seen this,
but like a lot of people have been doing this thing where, like,
kids will go to their first day of school and parents will set up their, like, action figures.
And they're, like, waving by to them.
Oh, to send them off?
To send them off.
All right.
You know what?
Fucking, I don't want to talk about.
about this, never mind.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So.
Oh, okay.
It's going to be one of those.
It's going to be one of those episodes.
I can't imagine.
So, like, all her toys were.
So I didn't do all that, but I set them up to have breakfast with her.
Oh, fuck you.
And it was, like, toys that were, like, the first toys she's ever played with.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
It was, it was, it was, uh, it was a tough one.
So it was like, oh, did, we're all here.
And it was like, the ones that, like, they're here to be, to help you be brave.
Uh-huh.
And it was like, Spider-Man.
and Batman and Mike Wazzowski
and some of her dolls and stuff
Superheroes of that Mike Wazowski
Yeah, as Sully was there
Yeah, the Bluey family was there
The healers as they're called
So she had breakfast
She excited?
Bro, she was pumped
Yeah, she was pumped
I've been like dreading it for a while
But she's been ready for a while
Like she's been so ready to go to school
Like she's like, I want to make friends
I want to learn
and I want to meet my teacher.
She's been ready.
But we haven't been ready.
You know, Becca and I were not ready.
You're so worried about the kids crying and you don't think about it.
Well, bro, the way that I think about it,
and I'm going to try to get through this sentence as best as I can,
is she is the most pure, innocent, kind-hearted little kid.
Yeah.
And, like, the idea.
Fucking goddamn.
four minutes in we got this the idea of sending her into the world and like the world
possibly not being kind to her uh-huh is fucking terrifying to me yeah because like I think is
as a parent like they're yours so like you you you you literally and figuratively hold them
close oh that's a bad oh it's gonna it's gonna fucking and like and like and like
Like, you protect them, but like, there's a little bit of letting go that you have to do.
Right.
Not cool with that.
Yeah, it must be really hard.
Nah, dude.
And last night, it fucking, God, we were on the way back from my brothers because we went for the rehearsal dinner.
And we're in the car and we're like, Ruby, are you so excited?
She's like, yeah, you know, I want to learn, blah, blah, blah.
And then she goes, I'm sad about Mave.
I'm like, why are you sad about Mave?
And she's like, who's Maeve going to play with when I'm gone?
Dude, fucking God, Jesus.
I'm not, like, in that moment, what did you say?
I, I kept quiet.
I kept quiet.
She's like, dad, hold on, just give me a minute.
I let Mommy handle that one.
Yeah.
She was like, Maeve won't know what to play.
Who's she going to play with?
And I was like, fuck.
Yeah.
Just like, the idea.
of like in that moment she just thought about like her sister yeah and like is she going to be
okay like she knew she was going to be okay right and she was just like this is like my best friend like
is she it's so nice too like with children when you can get to a point where there's examples of
this yeah just take it out shoot it um not the children the heart i don't know if the camera was on
yeah let's put the camera on that one but when you have
moments where you're like, oh, I'm doing a good job because my daughter is in this moment.
That's like about her, but she's thinking about someone else.
I mean, just like, that's like such a, that's not a child's mentality.
You know what I mean?
Like that's like, that's a, or a level of emotional maturity you don't expect, or at least I don't expect from a four and a half year old.
Yeah.
You know, like in that moment.
And like, she didn't say this because.
for whatever reason, but like, she wasn't, like, she didn't, I wonder, like, is she thinking about, like, me and Becca and Miles and stuff like that?
Like, is she worried about how we're going to be?
But, like, her first thought to just be like, this is my sister.
We play together every day.
Yeah.
What is she going to do?
Yeah.
That's nice.
Is fucking, dude.
So you dropped her off.
Well, we got it, you know, like, we got her ready.
She was so fucking excited, dude.
Like, she, she wore a special.
like she wore the dress she wanted she had a bow she had a bow very cute we got a problem
on our hand she had those signs that's like first day of school oh I loved it and I'm a big fan
of those signs like children now when they go to school is like first of all they were just like
send us to school yeah I got set goosebumps fucking lunchbox and it's like get out of my hair
get the fuck out of there walk there yeah yeah oh my god we've become our parents now we're
that's our version of I've walked 20 miles uphill to get to school yeah disgusting yeah
but they have the signs now that say like here's my name here's my teacher's
name here's what I want to be when I grow up so it was said you know my name is Ruby it's my first
day of pre-k yeah I am four years old and then it said uh I love school yeah she had ever been to
school and then it said I want to be popular when I grow up it says I want to be blank when I
grow up and she wrote popular it's amazing and I think she did that because she loves like
she loves the song popular from the wicked movie
So, like, I wonder if she sees, like, a pink princess, like, Ariana Grande and was like, I want to be that.
She always says, like, I want to be a princess or something like that.
So I just want to be popular.
Dude, dropping her off.
I got to say, kudos to the school because, like, the moment you walk in, they're like, we're taking the kid.
Like, they're, like, fucking rip the bandaid off.
They don't let, because I'm sure there is a science to, like, I'm getting through this pretty good.
I'm actually pretty surprised.
there's a science to like if you let them wallow in it if you let the family sit in it a little bit
it gets harder and so it's like rip the band-aid take them in let them let them go and do their
thing they're probably doing that for you guys too i imagine yeah but you know mave mayve was
a little upset but it was because there was like a playground outside and she wanted to go on
the playground and we didn't know um miles was surprisingly like emotional uh-huh and
And then Becca was good.
She held it together.
Daddy,
daddy's voice was cracking.
We knew that was happening.
Daddy's voice was cracking.
I said, like, I sat with her and I just like, I, I, I hugged her.
And I, you know, I said, you know, basically just, you know, go enjoy yourself.
Be brave.
Make, you know, do what you, you know, a combination of stuff like that.
And I knew, I think in that moment I knew I had to hold it together because I think of
She saw me upset.
She'd get upset.
Yeah, yeah.
So then when we got to the car, it was...
Good night.
A grenade of emotion.
I was firing them off.
Yeah.
You know, to the point where I'm driving.
And Becca's like, you good?
Are you okay?
Maybe I should drive.
Full over.
It's just said, like, bro, the idea of, like, you...
Like, the love for a child is unlike anything in the world.
I actually heard...
I'm going to give credit where credit is due.
Sal, Volcano
from Impractical Jokers
He put it the best way I've ever heard it put
About having kids
He's like, yo, you have kids at 35, let's say
What do you think it feels like
You just out of nowhere, 35 years of living
You just feel a new emotion
That you've never felt before
You've never felt before
And it's so fucking intense
And like the love for children
And you guys will see it
if and when you have children.
And then the idea of like you need to,
because that's part of life, right?
It's like you need to let them go a little bit.
I think that's why it's so hard for certain parents to,
like sometimes you meet people and they have very overbearing parents.
And it's probably because of exactly what you're saying.
Like it's a necessary part to,
you have to allow your kid to make mistakes and whatever.
Like that's just a part of it.
You have to let them do things that are wrong.
And it's so hard because you're like,
you feel like I know all the answers.
Bingo.
But you don't because the world changes and by the time that they're teenagers,
it's like you know the answers back then.
Yeah, but imagine your parents trying to be like over your shoulder doing everything.
It's also to me though, like a heartbreaking realization that you have to allow the world
to kind of harden your children.
Yeah.
Like that is sad because like you think of like the hurt that you've gone through in your life,
whether it be as an adult as a kid, you know, because when you're a kid,
kid it's little things you know someone takes your fucking juice box or some shit like
but like the fact that you need to experience that to become tougher or or better
on the parents yeah is misery because like that's hard like as a parent your your natural
instinct is you want to help you want to heal you want to fix so like the fact that you kind
of have to just yeah that sucks yeah that sucks I imagine that's very difficult I don't
like it. Call it what you want, whether it be selfish or what. I am completely fine with like
the idea of like, I get helicopter parents now. And I really don't try to be one and I don't think
I am one. But like, I get it. Is that they like always hovering. Yeah, they're always there
always hovering. They fall and they run over. Oh. You know, like, you know, the kids fall. I give
it a beat. See if they're good. You good? You know, if not, I, you know, but like, I get it. Yeah.
I get it entirely. Yeah. It's.
tough because it's like you feel like this is the right thing like I should be there for my kid
but then it's also like the argument of if you try to fix every single one of their problems
you're kind of you're doing them a disservice you're hindering their ability to self-cope and
you know figure things out for themselves which ultimately they will need later you know obviously
and then like because I you know although miles is not my biological son like I don't remember
having this visceral of a reaction when he went to daycare it could be because he's not my
son it could be also the because like at least my mentality might get a little political here
is the world is he's a boy not always kind to women yeah and like this is this
porcelain doll of a daughter that i have yeah and like i'm going to put her into the world that
like may or may not be kind to her specifically to women by other bro i'm tell i'm not even kidding
Beck and I were talking about it before I came in today
Like if we were to find out a boys bullying her
I was like yo I'm gonna be one of those parents
I'm gonna go down into the school and I'm gonna raise hell
Oh of course like like I'll be
Whatever the male version of a Karen is a Gary
I'll be here comes Gary
I'll go in as Gary and I'll fucking raise hell
And just be like yo I'm not fucking dealing with this
Yeah that that is not that's not where you want to fuck around at all
Yeah I mean that that's that's that's
very tough but I think there is a difference when you have boys and you have girls like
girls at least I guess as fathers like if you have a daughter I'd be way more protective of
like a daughter than a son because a son is kind of like you know obviously you want you don't want
your son to be bullied like that's not you know yeah yeah yeah yeah I know absolutely I just think
there's more of an innocence I guess I feel like it's hard to explain and and this might be like
maybe a little too intensive
of a mentality to take
but like
the approach
that I kind of bring to it is just like
you want to teach a boy
to be a good man
and you want
to teach a girl
how to spot bad ones
if that makes any sense
like you're basically
you're teaching a boy to
to be not
bad
evil you know and a girl to spot that and like one of those is scarier because like you could
teach a like this is it's not coming out the way that I'm envisioning in my head right now but like
it's easier to spot like the only way you could spot the bad versions of it if if you're
exposed to it you know what I mean like you can teach there's just more risk with girls at least
the way that I think about it you know what I mean like in terms of like
like, the world being kinder to them.
Like, it's just more risky because you can only control so much.
Yeah.
And I also, like, you know, I think that men probably get away with more shit than
than women do also.
So, I mean, it's very important to, you know, raise good men.
Because there are dudes, like, dudes can abuse the system.
I'm not saying that women can't either, but they have less of an opportunity than
men do.
Like, men are in a lot of important positions.
in the world so like if you raise a bad dude or if they just become a bad dude or whatever the
case is like that is a giant uh that could be a giant um like a negative thing to happen to
like a bunch of people i also think like and this might be just like too much of a like black
and white way of thinking about it but like what happened i love that we've got to this
she's going to pre-game where they're coloring all day yes but i get it but i get it
Kindergarten's going to be tough.
Yeah, yeah.
First grade's going to be tough.
Like, she's getting in there.
It's like, bro, all right, let's sit down at the board meeting.
But, like, I think, like, statistically, like,
women are more likely to be victimized by men than the opposite.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, I mean, that feels right.
I don't know the statistics.
So if someone wants to go crazy with the stats, whatever.
But, like, that feels right.
In my head, I'm, I'm, I'm, it just feels like more of a, like, innocence.
Yeah.
and it and it
it was fucking heartbreaking
and I don't I didn't know
I held it together
she didn't see me upset
I was on the way here
she's only doing two half days right now
uh huh
she did great
she was happy
said they had a great day
I was like how do you guys do
she's like daddy
I don't remember
I'm like okay
but
tough morning
stop asking me dude
basically yeah
tough
don't even
you're not cool enough to know
I'm very popular
by the way
I've gotten my wish
she oh my god
it's
And I'm not worried about Mave
I know I will be worried and it'll be emotional with Mave too
But like
If someone like if someone were to take something from Ruby
Feel bad for the teacher probably
If someone, let's use this as an example
If someone were to take something from Ruby
Ruby would let them take it
Not tell anyone but be upset about it
Yeah
If someone were to take something from Mave
Mave would walk over take it
Throw them to the ground
Yeah
And then stomp away happily about it
Right you know so like
You can curb that
See I think that's the biggest thing
too like it really depends like how your child is too because like my nephew mike he's like such a
sweetheart so the idea of like but he's like a bigger dude so you're not really like worried but
a bigger dude about a five year old but like compared to kids his age i know i know it's just a funny
way to put it harder to bully like a bigger kid but like the idea of like someone doing something
he's just like oh that makes me upset you know and it's like fucking punch this dude's lights out
obviously you're not teaching your kids that yeah no no no you know a part of you is like
dude stand up for yourself but like that's not how you know like in the house it's like this is
your sister you're not going to push your sister you're not going to like you're going to go over to
your mom be like that made me upset you know yeah it's it's it's uh tough day for frank
it was tough it was tough oh and immediately put on like sentimental music when i got in the car
oh you wanted to oh i wanted to turn it i wanted to sit in it dude i love crying and then
crying like hard cry yeah if i'm going like if i'm a little emotional and like something's
getting me a little bit. I'm like, let's fucking
take this to the moan and cry. Yeah, but see
hard crying driving is tough though
because you can't really let loose.
Oh, I do it. Driving?
Hell yeah. That's dangerous, dude.
That's like driving. That's not, I'm not
even going to say it. That's dangerous, dude.
Drunk, I think.
I think that's right. I was like,
what? I, no, I do it.
Like, because music, music sometimes I can, like, get in my head
and, like, just make myself cry
from, like, certain things.
What intensity of cry can you get in a car?
No, I haven't cried like that in a while.
When I'm talking about like crying, though, it's like tears, like actual tears coming down.
Like strong tears coming down.
Yeah.
What the hell was that?
Driving on to the.
Oh, I was like, he was just like, fucking tears coming down.
I thought it was some anime thing because I know how much you're into it.
I was like, I cry tears, senpai.
Yeah, no, I can get myself going.
I've done it in the car a bunch of times on planes pretty much every time.
I've told you guys that.
Planes, I don't think, I've cried maybe once or twice on planes.
Long flights.
Like, if the flight is over five hours, there is a chance that at some point I get welled up,
just for no reason.
I don't know.
It's weird.
No, not me.
I'll do it just to, like, do it.
The airports, like, when I'm, like, waiting to get on a flight and I see, like,
if I'm coming home and I, like, extra miss the kids and Becca, and I see, like, a mom with the kids
or something like that, I have to look down.
I can't look at it.
I can't.
I can't.
because it's it's just like you know yeah it's just like right there in front of you dude you know
what i've noticed that's made me that makes me cry so much is people when they're so happy that
they cry kills me so happy that they cry like when like a you know they're waiting at the
airport with a sign and they finally show up and fucking they just like embrace each other yeah
it's like surprising people with something and they get so happy it's weird like there's like
an age bracket of like crying that gets me emotional like old bastard
Old people crying?
That gets me crazy.
That gets me going because there's power behind those tears.
Old people just sitting alone.
Boom.
Oh, I think there's old people.
No, because I don't like them.
Oh.
See, like, old people, once they start being old at you, I'm like, all right.
Once they start, like, you know, like, back in my day, you kids, you kids.
Exactly.
But, like, if I saw a video once of a girl driving by somewhere and there was an old guy sitting
on like a bench
with his dog next to him
and I was like
I'm gonna lose my mind right now
Really?
Yeah I don't know
Old people with dogs
Gets me
Especially when the dogs are also old
Old men talking about
How much they love their wife
That passed away
Hell yeah
Ruin's me
Hell yeah
Fucking old bastards
Those make me cry like crazy
Yeah the one where it was just
You ever see the fucking
This is my cryptonite
There was a video
Of a soldier coming home
To his daughter
To his daughter
Who's like
Three or something
And she sees him
And she's in class
And she starts running over to him
She goes
Oh daddy
Yes
Yeah
Video
Fucking fucking murdered me
Yeah
No I've seen the ones
Where she's like
Daddy I missed you
Nah
Yeah
Dude
Every time I come home
From one of the shows
Mabe
gives me the biggest husband she goes you came home what the hell she knows what she's doing
she knows what she's doing dude it gets me every single time any of those soldier coming home ones
get me if there's little kids involved turn me into sashimi and eat me on a tuesday 14 14
yeah dude those are those are fucked up i saw another one where it was like it was a it was like a
football one of the captains walked out and they were like shaking hands with the captains but then
the guy took his helmet off and he and it was his dad yeah no the soldier we know we've already
spoken about this a million times the soldiers one gets me but you're right when it's like old sad
old people yeah that gets me where it's just like we were together 70 years she's love of my life
love of my life forever you know and then like that gets me because you know fuck me man did you
see the audition tape of the guy who played
the kid from E.T. talking, like,
auditioning. Yeah, he's good.
You can see the audition tape of the kid?
How would I have, how and when
and where would I have seen the audition tape?
It just went viral recently, and I was watching it. I was like,
that got me. I'm like, damn. The kid was good, man.
He got it right on the spot. He's like, literally, the guy goes,
congratulations kids, you got it. At the fucking audition.
Really? Yeah. Dude, it was the guy.
His name is Spielberg.
Was it Steve?
Yes. Was it Steve Spilgs? Stevie Spee.
The guy, yeah, one of the most prolific directors of our time.
I don't know if it was a casting director, I don't know.
It probably was a casting director.
But, no, yeah, no, no, no, I haven't seen that.
I don't like, if it, I, we spoke about it recently on an episode where it's just like old people finding out their like grandson or granddaughter is named after them.
And it's just like, no, man.
See, I like crying, though.
My mom just had my, my new niece is named after her.
Oh, God, your mom must have fucking lost it.
Yeah.
And then, you know, she would have turned into a show, too.
I'd be like, Nance, calm down.
Nancy used to get after it every new year.
She would cry our eyes out.
Oh, every New Year's.
Yeah.
She put on a show yesterday at my brother's rehearsal dinner.
I mean, I imagine, too.
She was like, and I'm like, Mom.
And she'd be like, what?
Like, in a split second, you know?
Yeah, take it, take it easy.
And she'd be like, fuck you.
Yeah, fuck, oh, fuck you.
Sorry for crying.
Oh, whoa, I'm not allowed.
I'm not allowed.
I'm not allowed to.
show any mention.
Fuck you.
And then she'd go,
hey, Frank,
hey Frank.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish I had a dollar
for every time
your mom gave me the finger.
Oh,
I mean,
then you'd have another
billion dollars.
Yeah,
no.
Speaking of old
goddamn broads.
Were we on all goddamn broad?
We were talking about
old people.
Yeah.
You know,
there's old broad
at the baseball game.
Oh,
let me get to the ads
first before we get into
that old bag.
Yeah.
Yeah,
because that really,
that really pissed
That begged your piss.
What was that?
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about nutrient dense roots.
Self praise, better than no praise.
Hell yeah, baby.
That's what I'm talking about.
Self-love?
It's good love.
It's good love.
Good love.
Yeah, so about this dumb old white broad.
Here's what I'll say about this woman.
The haircut.
Well, she's not doing it.
Listen.
She's really fulfilling a stereotype here.
It's her prophecy.
If you're going to have that hat,
you're going to,
go, it's going to happen.
Well, here's a thing.
Karen has become such a big, like, thing that, like, white women, you need to protect
yourself.
It's a disease.
It is a disease.
Yeah.
God damn it.
Being a Karen is a disease.
You know the haircut, dude.
You know the haircut.
You know the way.
You know the self-entitlement.
You know the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know,
these things.
So why do you contribute to it?
I don't know, but there was a woman who's fucking basically took a baseball from a child at a Philly's game.
Just play the video.
Yeah, I got you.
And then we'll kind of talk about it.
We'll get into the rules of.
So it's a little, uh, it replays like a little bit, but the whole thing's here.
Okay.
Just give it a second.
Yeah, so see her haircut, you know what I'm saying?
Like, not good.
Everyone's just kind of like, oh, I got to say this.
The dad looks a little afraid here.
But, but, oh.
scanning she went marching off dude not a good look for the dad i will say that if someone
taps on you at a game and you yeah yeah that's a little that's uh not a great look for him the
the being scared here or whatever that was yeah i don't know i'm that very confused by that
here's what happens right so a ball gets hit into the stands now when a ball usually gets
hit into a stands at a baseball game everyone's scrambling for this ball they want the ball
the rules are there's no rules
okay you don't hit anybody
but everyone's grabbing for this thing
it's kind of like a fumble
okay pretty much like whoever gets palm on ball
first it's there they've basically got it
yeah but you got to pull it to you
if you've got the ball like this
and you catch it like that
and there's a bunch of hands around
and someone pulls it out of your hand it's their ball
no that I disagree with
that I disagree with
if you as soon as ball
and palm make contact
no way because it hits that hand it could fall out but okay so make like you need a what do they say
you need a football move once once you get the closing and it's like in your hand once you've
wrapped your fucking sausage fingers around it it's yours i don't i don't agree i think that if like
you if the ball's being hit in the air right and everyone's jumping up for the ball and you get it
in your hand like this and you're still in this motion if you have it if you're like yeah if you can
celebrate with it, then it's your
ball. But if it's like in that motion and people
are going for it and you lose it, you lost it.
The best version of this that I've ever seen.
Did you ever see when Barry Bonds
hit the 756 home run?
Yeah. It was a dude from Queens who
caught it and just went
like a fucking like
Thundercat. Yeah. You can't
rob anyone once they have it.
That's why if you grab it, you're supposed to pull it in.
Yeah, you're supposed to. And
there is a respect of just like, all right,
you give up at that point. It's like, all right, they got it.
But a lot of times what happens is it'll land in a spot where no one caught it, so it's on the ground, and everyone's making a mad dash for it.
And sometimes a bunch of hands get on it, but it's whoever pulls it out of there that gets you.
That's kind of what happened here.
Well, no, in the video, which it wasn't in this video, but I saw the OG-O-G.
She's on the aisle above where the ball lands.
So it hits and it rolls down onto a new level.
Yeah. And then at that point, the dad scoops it up. Uncontested, by the way.
It looked like she was going for it too. Can you go? I think I have it here.
Yeah, pull it up because like they were like both there. It was below her. It was like the seat below.
So look, she's in the aisle and it goes below. Yeah. And he snags it. And it goes under the seats and he got it. And look, takes it.
Excited. Gives it to his kid. Gives it to his kid. And then oh my. And she's like, hey, that was my ball.
Bro, it's a fucking baseball. Also, bro.
Here's another rule that I have for you people out there.
If you're at a baseball game and you catch a foul ball, give it to a child.
Yes, dude.
Give it to a fucking child.
Dude, unless it's like a, like a worth them.
No foul ball is worth anything.
Well, that was a home run.
Yeah, that was, if it was like a valuable home run, like, yeah, yeah, like when judge hit it or like Jeter's 3,000 or bonds.
Shit like that.
Dude, give it to a child.
Give it to a child.
You know how pumped they're going to be?
Yeah.
That's going to be, like, that might be the moment they're just like, yo, I want to become a baseball,
when I come older and like you're etched in their memory is like this person did this kind
thing for me like that video is everything that I feel is fucking wrong with the world right now
like this woman felt the sense of like fucking like it's mine because it landed in front of me
and someone else like fuck you yeah dude this woman sacrifice the body you gotta dive down there
you want it you want it let's see put the body on the line dive over have we I'm sure the
internet, and I'm not going to ask this for, like,
I don't want to ask this question, because I'm sure this woman is
probably getting bullied. Oh, she's getting
her fucking, yeah, she's getting torched.
Whatever. But
just, just, just, just, like,
you're, and she's clearly, like,
in her mid to late 50s, you would say,
maybe early 60s. I don't know.
She's, she's, she's, I think that's a dye job, dude.
I don't think she has a white hair.
She's seen some stuff. Give the ball to the kid.
Yeah, that to me is insane. Like, it'd be one thing if you're going to walk over
to like, you know,
27-year-old dudes and be like, what the fuck?
But, like, there's a, it's in a child's glove.
Yeah, it literally.
So he goes over to his son, puts it in his son's glove.
He's, like, hugging him, like, I got you a ball.
Isn't this so cool?
He's a Phillies fan.
The Phillies hit the home run.
And then this woman, he handled that well.
I will say that.
I probably would have done the same thing.
He eventually gave her the ball.
He was like, here, take the ball.
And he went like this.
He's like, get the fuck out of here.
Like, stop screaming at me and my kids.
Jokes on, what were you going to say?
I feel like you wouldn't give the ball up.
that but it'd be funnier if I'm like this ball and threw it back launch it back that
no because then everyone loses cut the yeah cut the baby in half but that everyone but then everyone
loses I'm fine with that I would be like no because I would rather I'd rather my kid win
yeah but if you hand it back well he wound up winning because there's more of the story but
I'm saying in that moment you handing it back you are losing I'd rather all right if I have to
lose every no I think there's a level of high like he took the high road she looks like a
maniac a little bit there have been people that have like put this into
a i and made her into like gollum from lord of the ring
where she's like my precious you know yeah i that was so dumb to pretty poor pretty
poor gallum impression i'm sorry about that it wasn't that bad can i try again
good i need a precious someone give me like what
wow i stabbed my finger with that you okay i unclicked it you should be
No, it clicked in my finger
Oh
I passed out
He's like
My precious
It was worse than the first time
Really? I think so
I think the first time is better yeah
Really
I really need that pen
Now it's literally on the back wall
That's as far as it
Go get that pen now bitch
Wow that's crazy
That was the little nuts
Yeah I'm sorry
Go get it and Mr. Bitch
You kind of good boyed me now I can't get it
Oh no no no I'm sorry I'm sorry you want me to get it
for you, during the next round of bads, I'll get it.
Yeah, but you can't do this, bro.
Like, I, I would be like,
yo, you want it so bad?
Take it from my fucking son's glove, then, you maniac.
Ooh, put her in the position that she needs to rip it from the kid's hands?
Yeah, like, take it from them.
But you know, this woman has the idea of, like, it was mine.
I'm getting to, I don't care.
You're making me be the bad guy.
Take it from your son.
I'll do it.
Like, no one agrees with you.
I got to say something.
If this was my family.
First of all, this woman's getting a verbal argument out of me.
She's, because he gave it up pretty quick.
Yeah, yeah.
She's getting a what?
You dumb, dumbass?
What would you realistically do?
I almost went dumb bitch.
You dumb bitch!
What would you do, though, if, first of all, if I'm in that situation and that woman comes
storming up to me and she's using foul language, look out.
All bets are off.
I'm going to be the biggest little bitch in the world.
Yeah, I'm going to be fucking, I'm saying some crazy shit.
but she if like what would you do realistically like really put yourself there don't be like
I'd flip back like really if if you're at a baseball game and that happens you get a ball you give
it to miles and your fucking daughters are there too yo it's miles is but like what do you do
you're like yo just get out of here go the fuck away go away at a certain point if this woman is
super intense I'm gonna look at Becca and be like we're gonna have to you're gonna have to start
swinging because I'm not you know just
like if this woman starts like pushing and shit that's when i step back and i let you know yeah
old freehold beka will come through and she'll be like squaring up with people and shit
i'll be in the back like get her ass me yeah she's old enough she knows the golden rule of
finders keepers dude this woman sucks so bad i think like you're like here's the thing
is even though you got the ball you took it from a child yeah like how could you like if
i'm her how can you enjoy that if i'm her i would
I would almost like have a moment.
Like if I'm mad enough that I'm going to walk over there and be like,
you took that from me, blah, blah, blah.
And then he takes it out of the kid's glove and gives it to me.
There's no way I'm walking away with that.
Because now I look like a maniac.
Like you don't have a come to Jesus moment of like, oh shit.
I just took this from a kid and now everyone has seen that.
Like give it to the kid, but you're an asshole.
Like if you want to do that, like fine.
But bro, you walk away with the ball is so crazy.
I feel like there is a certain, because I love watching videos of like Karen's
getting owned you know what I'm talking about
where you know like the one that I love is
settle down oh my god
calm down and the or
like the one where like you know white
women like old Karens will like yell
something at like a person of color
and then turn around and fall in their face
you ever see the video of the dude who like pulls up
like next to those girls
and he's like screaming shit
and she goes you're bald and he goes
he just doesn't have
many of the same like freezes
no the one that I love and I
I actually think it might be fake because it kind of looks a little staged where, like, the girl, it's like an old woman.
And she's like, that's my bag.
I'm first in line.
He's like, congrats, you're first in line at Chili's.
Oh, yeah.
And she's like, I don't like your attitude.
Yeah.
I love that.
I pray for someone to be a smart ass to me in public.
I really don't wish for that.
So do you give, you said you would give the ball back?
If you're with your son, little, what were you, Walrus?
Mm-hmm.
Walrus, your son, a little walrus, you catch a home run ball of a team that he's a fan of.
Yeah.
Like, the only way I could see being like, no, fuck that.
It's the kid's ball.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that, like, it would be tough.
I would probably, like, try to put it in perspective for her being like, you're going to take the ball from the kid?
Like, what are you doing?
She probably said, like, well, you took the ball from an old woman.
But I would get that.
I'd be like, okay, if you think I'm an asshole, that's one thing, like, fine.
Like, I don't care, but, like, you're literally going to take this ball from him.
Like, even if you caught the ball, you should give it to him.
Like, that's what we do out here.
Yeah.
We catch balls and we give them to the children.
At this point in my life, it would need to be a really cool ball for me to not give it to a kid.
Judge's home run, like, his record ball.
Yeah.
Just so we're all on the same page here.
This woman is wrong.
Had that been judge's home run record-breaking home-run ball,
I will throw a foot.
I will throw a high kick to anyone who's around for that ball.
Can I ask you a question?
Because this is a popular topic of conversation in the world of sports.
Are you selling that ball?
Danny makes fun of me forever for this.
You may have been there as well who's making fun of me too.
Are you giving it for free?
Are you selling it?
Are you holding on to it?
Because, like, this is, like, a lot of people have, like, differing opinions.
People, like, there are some people that are like, yo, it's Aaron Judge's ball.
He worked for it.
He could take it Scott Free.
I'm pretty sure at one point in time that was my mentality.
Me too.
Now, at one point, I said to Danny, and Danny was like, you're a fucking idiot.
Because he was, I was like, I think it was Jeter's 3,000th hit.
And I was like, I would give it to him.
Like, it's his ball.
Like, it's his whole career.
It's like this ball.
I'm going to hold on to it because I'm greedy and I need money.
But I feel like I change my tune as you learn more about like, if they want that ball,
they're going to get it.
Yeah.
They're going to get that ball.
I mean, here's a thing is if Aaron Judge were to hit, like, let's use that as an example.
Aaron Judge broke the single season American League home run record a couple of years ago.
Let's say the ball is worth $3 million.
If Aaron, I'm more, if the Yankees organization was like, we want.
the ball. I would first of all have a high ask. What's your ask? I'm getting season tickets for a number
of years. Okay. Several years. You also have to go to the games though. I don't have to. But at least I
get it. Sure. Like I could go to the games. But like that's worth it to you? You know how much Yankee
season tickets are? No, I know. There are a couple hundred thousand. Yeah. Depending on where you
are. Legend sweet access. Like I'm going to be like, yo, you're the Yankees.
blank check but that's never been what people have got I know because they're just like no
and then the people end up selling it on the like the ad auction basically for millions of dollars
on end and there have also been instances where people just give it to the athlete yeah and the
athlete won't do it like maybe sometimes they'll be like here's a sign jersey and a sign bat
and whatever yeah I think the the the honest moral
high moral person in me says give it to them they earned it
the realistic person in me though the american yeah says hold that shit sell it for
five million at auction baby yeah like i'm like it's tough it would be tough to
i think because we're in a blessed position to be doing the job that we're doing and we're
paid well i'm more inclined to just give it to them yes but like for for an athlete to
expect someone who's sitting in in the bleachers who caught this home run to not change their
life with it i mean i would encourage that if i'm judged to be like bro you're going to get three
million dollars for that ball bro i mean it's just going to be a baseball you know i'm taking
no matter what position i'm in i'm taking three million dollars no i know i'm saying i'm in a very
blessed position i'm very very well aware of that i'm not in that bliss of a position well i'm
taking that three million dollars maybe i'm not saying that i would absolutely
Absolutely, blah, blah, blah.
It would also would have to be an athlete that I'm like,
if it was a team that I'm not a fan of,
you'd have to kill me for the ball.
Oh, like, if it were like you caught like fucking...
If it was like a Jets touchdown,
I'd be like, I'm keeping this fucking ball for every.
Why would you have it?
It's more like, how can they have it?
No, like they score a touchdown and they give you the ball.
Oh, fuck you!
I see what you did there, bitch.
What?
Slimy fucking bitch.
What, what, what?
The joke is they can't score a touchdown.
That's the joke.
That's the joke.
No, let's say if it were a home run hit by
Anyone who is not on the Yankees, I'm keeping it
If I went to like a Yankees
Red Sock game or a Yankees
Bro, if I went to a Yankees Astros game
And I caught like a historic Astro home run
I am going to be the dumbest little
Slimy worm for this ball
I'd be like, oh yeah
Fold your whole team and admit your cheaters
You fucks
Admit it! Admit it! You slimy bastards!
Yeah, like I am going to be
such a little prick about it. Yeah. Same with the Red Sox. Red Sox, I'll just be like,
you want it? Give me season tickets and then they give it to me and I'll be like, oh, I lost it
in the river. You know? I just, I can't. I think the realistic thing to do is to ask for them,
especially if it's like a big one. Like, who's going to really want like the 100th career
home run of fucking Jose Altuve? Yeah. But like if it's, if it's a record breaking home run,
it's like, bro, you hold on to that. Pull up the video of Barry Bond's
historic home run and the guy that, the guy, it was a dude from Queens that caught it.
I think he's in a Mets jersey and he just throws, I watched it live, dude.
And I was just like, yo, that guy's probably, at the time I was just like, you know,
he's probably going to make like a million dollars.
Yeah.
If he had held on to that ball until today, forget it, five million, 10 million.
Probs.
I don't know if we're going to be able to like see the crowd though.
No, you can.
You can see it right there.
In this one?
Yeah, look.
All right.
I got you.
MLB, please, we love you.
Don't strike us.
Look at that.
They definitely will.
Yep.
And then watch this.
The guy throws his arm up right in the air.
That's a crazy home run to catch, too.
7.56.
Oh, and I guess.
They're not going to show it.
This is what I imagine would be going to show the crowd.
Okay.
Demonitized now for no reason.
It's right.
Whatever.
But, yeah, catching that ball, you're like, your life's changed.
You're a millionaire now.
Yeah, but I'm sure Uncle Sam comes in knocking.
Cares.
He's still a millionaire.
You saw someone won the 1.8 bills.
Yeah.
Did they?
One person?
Two.
Two.
One in Texas.
One in Missouri.
Wow, dude
I bought a couple tickets
Did you?
You bought a couple tickets?
No, I was gonna
But then I forgot
That mentality is so stupid to me
What?
Not buying lot of tickets?
In that situation
I don't buy lot of tickets
Unless it's over a billion dollars
What kind of rule is that?
It gets me excited
You're like maybe
Yeah
And then all of my TikTok
Like fucking feed
Was just like
Here's what you do
if you win the mega million powerball yeah one sign the back of the car take pictures with it
photo like if it's over a bill i'll play under a bill i'll be i won't you have more chances under
the bill i can't even imagine what you would be like after like winning that like i feel like you
would be so scared dude yeah you would be like yo i'm not going outside someone knocked on my
door it's like his mailman no no serious thing i don't think i don't think i don't think i
I wouldn't tell a single soul.
I've thought about this.
Because I used to be like, yeah, I'd tell my friends and family.
No one will know.
If you hit the jackpot, right?
You immediately go into hiding.
I wonder how it is.
I don't know about...
They just wire it?
I don't know about hiding.
I'm sure you have to give, like, where you want the money to end up and stuff like that.
I don't know about hiding, but I am, like, for several months going to remain.
low. Like, not hiding, but like, I really, if I were to tell people, because I really don't think
I would, it would take a while. So, because they were, they were, they were, they were saying like
this, with the 1.8 billion, it was like after original, after basically all the taxes and all the
fees, it would be like $400 million. And then like the next year. Wait, hold on. What'd you say?
1.8? Mm-hmm. And it would be 400 million if you take lump.
If you take lump.
Half of it immediately gone.
Yeah.
And then...
And then there's more income tax and stuff like that.
And then lump is another like 40 gone.
Or maybe that was when it was 1.1.
1.8, it's 400 makes no.
I think it's around 7.
Let's say, so like lump something.
I mean, look it out.
You can find that pretty quick.
Let's call it 500 million.
Let's call it 500 million.
You will never work a day in your life if you chose not to.
Of course.
It's generational wealth forever.
I mean, untaxed.
you put it in the market, you're getting $50 to $60 million untaxed a year.
Crazy.
I really, really, really don't think I would tell a soul for a very long time.
Because I would be afraid.
But what would you, but what, so what would you do with it?
I mean, I'm hiring security.
For what?
What do the fuck you mean for what?
Now you're in, you're a, almost a billion.
You just said no one knows.
I know.
So, yeah, I guess the security.
I guess the security will be...
I go to Frankshouse.
There's guards with guns.
I'm like, what's this about?
Nothing.
There would be signs, like I said.
Yeah.
What was it?
It's $800.
Lump sum.
Yeah.
You saw $400 because it was two winners.
It's split.
All right.
So basically, after taxes, it will probably be around $600.
I thought the taxes was the $50%.
I think that's what they walk away with.
I think that's everything.
Taxes is the $50%.
$800 million.
$800 million.
Crazy.
to just wake up
to just go like this
and you're a new person
is crazy
I'm I would have to like
all the other times
the jackpots have been this high
we've talked about this
I'm sitting down and having a couple drinks
in quiet
you would need to hire a lot of people
to tell you what to do with your money
that's too much money
well they say they say that you
the first thing you should do is contact a lawyer
and a like a basically like a money
financial advisor
and then
our financial advisor
would be very happy
but like even that
what do you do as a financial advisor
when you get that much money
you diversify
I know but I'm saying like
I imagine like that's an intense amount of money
to have in your control
sure I mean I
think you do like a mix of things
I think it's a slow deployment
of the funds like obviously you could put
some in the market. You're not going to put all of it in the market, though.
Like, you would buy real estate. You would buy, you know. That's, that's all nice. That first
month, I'm partying, dude. First month, I'm going crazy. But like, well, so what does that
look like, though, to you? For him? Twisted tea fountain shup fucking funneled into his ass. I'll be
honest. It'll probably look about the same until I really realize I have all this, and then it'll
be. Oh, man, those parlays that you'll be throwing. No, I can. I can. You would. I mean, it would be
no reason to gamble if you have
800 million dollars. Yeah, like you gambled to like
trying to get that. I was going to say you're also
a lot of people that are like gambling addicts
say they didn't gamble to win. They gambled for the
feeling of yeah, that's true. You know, so like
they're still going to gamble.
It's just the amount they're gambling with is changing.
Yeah. I, dude,
I would go live in like Europe somewhere or some
shit. You just completely up and dip.
Yeah. Thanks man. I mean, no, I would still do this.
I would still do this. What about the people
that earn a living fucking no no no i mean obviously like that but i'm saying like
i know what you would do yeah i would just kind of like we would record one day a week
10 episodes 10 episodes and then you'd come in for that one day fly from fucking europe on your
private jet and then you'd go right back and live in a villa and fucking on the amalfi coast
not there but somewhere for sure oh it's the the athors oh that would be nice the athors or
or Espagna
Do I love a little bit of Spain
Where they don't even eat dinner
Until like midnight
Who says that?
You never heard that?
I have but I didn't say that
It's like all that they always make fun
Of the people that like study abroad
Where they come back and they're just like
8.30? What? That's so
We don't even eat dinner until like midnight
Dude
I hate that by the way
I hate that idea
Where it's like tapas
Fuck tapas
Well I don't like eating
It's super late
The absolute latest
and I'll only do this if it's a really nice restaurant at 10 o'clock.
Absolute latest.
10.30, I'm like, nah.
Interesting.
I haven't even thought about that.
Like, what's the latest?
I mean, obviously, like, the best, depending on where you're going,
if I'm going to a really nice restaurant,
I probably will favor, like, 8.30.9.
Yo.
I just thought of one of the things I would do if I won the jackpot.
It should be good.
Richie Rich style
I'm putting a restaurant
in my crib
and it may not be a McDonald's
but like
I'm putting a restaurant
my crib dude
okay
and like
it could be
no it won't be a functional right
it'll just be for me
right
one table
one table
you know
you don't need a full menu
just what I want
why not just get a chef
yeah that's a good point
you could get like a team of chefs
that's a good point
I like cooking, though.
You ever see really rich people's houses and they have like a chef's kitchen?
That's so far.
Dude.
There's like a kitchen and then a chef's kitchen.
I like cooking, but you know what?
At that much money, I'm just going to be a little, like, what do you want for dinner?
I'd be like, yo, I would, I don't think I'd survive, Joe.
A chef is a fucking sick one.
I don't think I would survive because I would be like every night, Tomahawks.
Every night.
Tomahawks.
Every night Tomahawks and fucking.
oysters and october
Tommy Tuesday
Tommy Thursday
Dude Tommy tomorrow
Tommy tomorrow
Yeah
It's a Tommy weekend
Yeah it's Tommy time
Tommy today
Tommy time
What's like the one thing
That you would be like
I'm gonna indulge a little bit
Oh I know what you
All of it
Joey
This Joey's sign would be
He'd show up with like a fucking
Platinum Daytona
No
I
Probably
Like really
nice real estate.
I honestly have no interest in like,
not that I have no interest.
Like I get from a investing perspective,
like real estate,
but like a sick house.
Like I would love that.
I mean,
you're gonna have a sick house as it is, bitch.
I meant like if you have $800 million and being like,
I can just get like,
or multiple.
Yeah, but like at what point is that just like,
who cares?
Too much.
You know what I mean?
A house?
Yeah, like what are you going to get?
Like a house with like 20 bedrooms?
for what reason?
No, I would see, yeah, I don't like that.
I actually think that's mad creepy.
It's just like parts of your house that like, there are people that are like,
yo, I've only been in that part of the house once since I bought the house.
And I've lived here for 15 years.
Yeah, that's strange.
I would rather, like, property and like a decent sized house that's like homie and like, you know,
in-laws and your family and stuff, like everyone has their own rooms.
Which now that sounds like a lot of bedrooms.
But something like that.
But then, like, the outdoor space.
Like, the entertaining spaces are large.
Dude, my backyard.
Like the living rooms and the backyard.
My backyard would be fire.
Lazy river.
Lazy river.
Yeah.
You know, you could throw in some fucking, you know, a bar.
See, if I had 800 million, though, I would be doing dumb shit.
Like, I would do, like, I would have an, like I said, the entertaining spaces of my house, I think would be big because I like being around people and hosting and stuff like that.
So those things.
But also, I would be like.
We're hiring whoever's the best, like, sushi chef in New York City to come and do it here.
Oh, my God.
And also hiring, like, a famous singer or something.
Like, come sing a song.
Yeah, like Taylor Swift is going to sing my daughter's birthday.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Like shit like that.
That might be, too.
That might still be out of budget after a while.
It might be, yeah.
If you had.
Taylor Swift.
One a year.
One a year.
$800 million, dude.
First of all, Taylor Swift's not picking up the fucking phone, dude.
For $800 million?
Well, I wouldn't offer everything.
If I said Taylor Swift, come and for $2 million, just sing, do a little concert, hang with the kids.
I bet you would do it.
Two million?
Two million is a lot.
Two million is a lot of money.
For a fucking dinner.
And not only is it a lot, but it's so low-lift.
Like, she's probably making three to five mil for her shows, and those are three hours of singing and dancing nonstop.
Yeah.
I'd be like, yo, come at your leisure, do some songs and have food and drinks.
you know through mill bring Travis we'll throw the pigskin around I gotta admit I'm kind of upset
that no billionaires are fans at the basement yard because they just be like yo name the price
come come do a show in my backyard would you do it honestly that would be terrifying
why to to to go in someone's backyard and be responsible for a dinner party
dude if someone hit us up let me make something very good shut the fuck up
obviously the answer is yes okay thank you yeah if someone hit us up it was just like
Listen, I'm a billionaire.
My kids love your show.
Hello, I'm a billionaire.
It's their birthday party.
Just come and just like mingle and emcee the birthday party and have fun.
Yeah.
First of all, what are you asking for realistically?
I wouldn't.
I would make them offer.
Smart.
Let them offer and then you say too low.
Well, and then you go up.
Say too low no matter what on their first.
So if they say like, we'll give you a million dollars.
You're like, sorry, that's too low.
All right.
Two million.
Okay, you know, then you walk away with $2 million.
It's mad excited.
I mean, one million, because we'd split it 50-50.
He's mad excited.
You're not coming, bitch.
Where am I seeing this?
Sorry.
Can't do nothing.
I can't do nothing.
He's like, I produce the show.
Who's going to produce?
I wish you could just get money from people and the government doesn't take it, dude.
I'm so sick.
Me too.
There is a way now.
Yeah, apparently.
Streamers.
Yeah.
They just released this new tax thing where streamers, tips and donations.
up to 25K, tax-free?
Up to 25K, though, that's fucking nothing.
25K is definitely not.
I know it's a lot of...
The first 25,000 being...
But I'm saying, like, you think of, like,
Kai and the other streamers...
They're too big for a team and count.
That's a different tax code all in general.
$25,000 tax-free is gigantic.
That's a lot of money, you know, I agree.
But it starts there, so, like, after that is...
If they were to say, like, no tips or gifts
that you receive from streaming is tax...
I'm going home.
streaming tonight.
You know what I'm saying?
It's fair, but they got to get money at some point.
But why?
Like, why does a government need a piece of everything?
The idea is that they're, you know, building the infrastructure.
But they're not, dude.
They are and aren't.
They're not doing enough, I will say.
But they are the ones who, like, they fix the potholes.
I wish they would be like this.
I wish it would be like this.
You can choose where to put your tax.
Yeah, but then, because if it was just like you could, but like, it's only like a certain amount.
Like once you do a certain amount in this place, then you have to pick another option.
So like, say it's like you can either give it to the government and they'll divvy it up or you can give it to the school system or you can give it to the, you know, public works, you know, sewage, electrical, all that.
Well, just some places probably just need less money than others.
Also, if you really want it, like Florida, like no income tax.
Yeah, but that's a, that's, that's, that's, that's, yes, they have no income tax, but they have other taxes where your money goes to. I, I just debunked this with someone that I know. In New York, you have every tax. Yeah, every that. Oh, no, no, I know. City, state, federal. And you're talking to someone that works in one state and lives in another. So guess who gets double butt fucked. Oh. That's an intense way to put that. Yeah, that was very intense, but I get it. You know what I'm saying. I think he calls for dramatics though. It does. Yeah. But like, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
It's tough
But someone
But then there was
If there wasn't that
Then you'd be responsible
To be like
Collecting money
To be like
We gotta fix this road
Or just go fix it
Yourself
You can fix the highway
No
I can't
And I won't
Was it you who told me
If you do the adopt a highway
You're like responsible for that
Not me
That can't be true
Yeah you're like
You have to
I think
I think you sponsor it
So I'm sure they're like
Looking at
for like you need to contribute to some
in some capacity but like
I don't think if you adopt it you owe them
like you're responsible for everything
no I meant like to keep it clean or something
then why would I ever
adopt a highway why would I ever
be like yeah sure let me take this part
of the highway I don't know I remember like
hearing something about the adopt a highway and I was like
that is a significant catch
also I've spoken openly about this
having roads or bridges
or tunnels named after me I would never want
because then people hate you and curse
your name without even knowing it's you. You know what I mean? Like, yes, people love George Washington,
but how many people have cursed him because of the bridge? I'm not cursing him. I think the bridge
should go down. Yeah, but you should be like, fuck the George Washington. You're right, which is,
which part? About the, if you adopt a highway through a volunteer program, you're responsible for
agreed upon maintenance such as litter cleanup and sometimes landscaping. Yeah, see?
Why ever adopt a highway? I have no idea. Never in a million years will I ever do that, no.
I have no idea, like, what the point of that is.
The big infrastructure stuff, the government will still do, but for the little things, yeah, you are responsible.
Yo, we should, we should see if they'll name 48th Street Park after us.
It's named after someone.
Yeah, it's like Paul Raimanda or some shit.
Who the fuck is that idiot?
I couldn't tell you.
Exactly.
But it sounds like he's making a donation every year to keep it clean.
No, he's probably long dead.
I mean, I wouldn't know.
It was still being a foundation.
It wasn't Paul Remanda when we were younger.
I know, it was just the part.
And then it was Paul Riemund.
So what if it was...
It's the Joe and Frank Park.
How much you're willing to put up for that?
Nothing.
They just give it to us.
Right.
You would need last night.
That's the issue.
They would say they should just give it to us because it's what I am deserved,
which, like, that white woman would deserve, that baseball.
Exactly.
That's how you tell you back in.
First and full circle.
Yeah, getting a plaque at a park.
That would be nice.
Maybe if you make a big enough donation, they'll put a plaque up.
You either need to be really, like, give a lot of money or die.
In order to be named after a park?
Yeah.
Yeah?
I imagine.
Look, look it up in New York, in New York City, how to get a park named after you.
This might be a cool thing to do.
The Joe and Frank, the Joe, the Joe, San Diego, Frank Alvarez, Park of Fun.
No, not kidding.
We're going to work on the name and also.
I think park of, or fun park.
Right.
You putting up zero dollars is like a little blemish on this idea that you have here.
I feel like you and I can both put up zero dollars, though, and we can get it done.
For what, and then what?
So we're putting our names on the park and not doing anything?
Yeah.
It's not our job.
You have to donate money or the land.
All right.
How much money?
I have to donate the land.
If you own the land, you could subsidize a substantial piece of land.
How much to get a plaque at this part?
How much to get?
I'm just thinking like, we could, say it's a couple hundred bucks.
I'm doing it.
It's 100% not a couple hundred bucks.
Why not?
Because everyone would do it.
But you need to be someone.
They need to accept your $100.
I don't think that's true.
It's a donation.
They'd be like, oh my God, like this was their park.
And people would go and they'd be like, look, this is their park.
It's tough to find an exact number.
Yeah.
But for a plaque on a park bench, $10,000.
$10,000.
Park bench, why?
So some fucking kids could come and drink 40s on me?
No thanks.
Actually, it sounds pretty cool.
What would you like?
Where do you want it to be on the entrance of the park?
Let's see, Frank Alvarez Park.
Frank Alvarez, Joe Sanagado, Park of Fun.
right you know this is where they
some subtext
they didn't contribute but they
contributed with the amount of fun they had at this
park during their life
that is some delusion you're living in right now
I don't think it's a delusion I think that it's something
that I thought of and now I want it
you're in it for recognition to me right
I've thought of it so now it's owed to me
you're in it for the recognition but you
would like the park to not
I would like to
do no work right have
no responsibility right and
be given exactly what I'm asking
for. Got it. I don't
think that's a big ask. Yeah, I mean,
I'm looking here to get a bench
or a tree named after you, it's in between
5 and 10,000 or sometimes
more. So the whole entire park
I can't, I can't imagine
it's quite a bit.
I mean, but this is a small park in a story.
If you could rename that park.
The Joe Sanagato and Frank Alvarez
Park of Fun. And
that costs $10,000. Would you put $5,000
towards that? I think,
there is uh that's a yes or no I think um uh sure can I get my name
I know you know what you know it's never gonna happen so so sure yeah I would
I mean maybe he said my name on there no sorry we grew up going to this park
you're not a you were never at that park with us then I'll pay 5,001 get your
name off it well could happen you're you're a little snake you're a slimy
snake today you want to play that game oh yeah
go play that game with Joey
go ahead
I got my
look who I got
in my corner bitch
5,0001
yeah
just the problem
just do me a favor
just do me a favor
if they ever
offered a name that park after you
just be like
it's us
who the park department
the New York City
Department of Parks
they're not going to come to me
and say hey man
how do you know dude
we have fans everywhere
we're very kind and lucky
but like
what if they did
no
I'd rather be named
48th Street
Park. And not Paul Ramunda, whoever that is. It's probably a nice gentleman who donated a bunch of
money, but regardless. I mean, you probably donated the money in the 70s, so he paid like $40 to get his
name on the flag. Fucking way to go. It's not 10 racks anymore, Paul. Give us the park. Give us the
Paul. What? Huh? Give us the park, Paul. Yeah. All right. Well, there you have it, folks.
That's all we have for this week's episode, Frank. Where can they find you? All over the socials.
You know where to find me on the block disobeying the law. Yeah.
Yeah, and the Frank Alvers everywhere.
And then go check out the Patreon.
Patreon.com slash the basement yard.
If you want to come to any shows,
the basemanyard.com, look for the shows,
see what's available, see if you can come.
And then if you're coming to any of those shows,
go to the basemeyer.com slash submit, baby.
Submit, the exact same thing that Aunt loves doing every single night.
Well, you guys are going to follow the show at the basement yard
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And that is all.
See you guys next time.
Thank you.
