The Basement Yard - #521 - The First Day Of School

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The new Mitsubishi Outlander brings out another side of you. Your regular side listens to classical music. Your adventurous side rocks out with the dynamic sound Yamaha. Regular U owns a library card. Adventurist U owns the road with super all-wheel control. Regular side? Alone time. Adventurous side journeys together with third row seating. The new outlander bring out your adventurous side.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Mitsubishi Motors. Drive your ambition. Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. How you doing, Frank? It's been a day. It's been a day. Oh, I just realized you're wearing a Rainforest Cafe shirt. Sort of.
Starting point is 00:00:49 It says Picky Boys Cafe as a whole. Enjoy the lawsuit. Fucking moron. What are you doing? They're coming after you for that one, my friend. Get this guy. Well, I guess they're like. on the way out the rainforest cafe so they're probably
Starting point is 00:01:02 i mean he's keeping them fucking yeah you're single-handedly if anything yeah they should thank me yeah when we were in Vegas I passed by one in the in the tax in the the the Uber and I was just I sent the picture to him and he's like I would go with you a hundred times over a hundred you know like I'm just down I just is it like it's it's just like a Fridays right like a TGI Fridays yeah but like way cooler because of the leaves fake leaves yeah and because every like 30 minutes they play thunder and lightning and water sounds yep do they yeah yeah yeah that's the
Starting point is 00:01:35 idea of the rainforest part of it that makes sense and it's just like cheap looking i'd rather go to chucky cheese brother well this is a horrible battle why i'd rather go to hell than both one of them probably is like hell i'll let you figure out which one uh yeah it's been it's been it's been a it's been a day why it was i mean you know why it was uh ruby's first day of school Yeah. I did wait. I got text this morning from you and Greg. It was also, yeah, it was Greg's daughter's first day of school. Yeah. This was like her first, first.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Yeah. And it was a tough day for daddy. Yeah, you were out there, just letting it go, crying. Was she crying? No. No. I held it together until I got in the car because. The car on the way there or way home? Wow. Which way? A little bit of both.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Got it. It started, I woke up, I went, you know, I went to the gym, and then it started the second I got home from the gym. Because I was just thinking like, oh, fuck. It's going to happen today. And then I set up, I don't know if you guys have seen this, but like a lot of people have been doing this thing where, like, kids will go to their first day of school and parents will set up their, like, action figures.
Starting point is 00:02:55 And they're, like, waving by to them. Oh, to send them off? To send them off. All right. You know what? Fucking, I don't want to talk about. about this, never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:01 So. Oh, okay. It's going to be one of those. It's going to be one of those episodes. I can't imagine. So, like, all her toys were. So I didn't do all that, but I set them up to have breakfast with her. Oh, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:03:12 And it was, like, toys that were, like, the first toys she's ever played with. Fuck you. Yeah. It was, it was, it was, uh, it was a tough one. So it was like, oh, did, we're all here. And it was like, the ones that, like, they're here to be, to help you be brave. Uh-huh. And it was like, Spider-Man.
Starting point is 00:03:30 and Batman and Mike Wazzowski and some of her dolls and stuff Superheroes of that Mike Wazowski Yeah, as Sully was there Yeah, the Bluey family was there The healers as they're called So she had breakfast She excited?
Starting point is 00:03:46 Bro, she was pumped Yeah, she was pumped I've been like dreading it for a while But she's been ready for a while Like she's been so ready to go to school Like she's like, I want to make friends I want to learn and I want to meet my teacher.
Starting point is 00:04:00 She's been ready. But we haven't been ready. You know, Becca and I were not ready. You're so worried about the kids crying and you don't think about it. Well, bro, the way that I think about it, and I'm going to try to get through this sentence as best as I can, is she is the most pure, innocent, kind-hearted little kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:24 And, like, the idea. Fucking goddamn. four minutes in we got this the idea of sending her into the world and like the world possibly not being kind to her uh-huh is fucking terrifying to me yeah because like I think is as a parent like they're yours so like you you you you literally and figuratively hold them close oh that's a bad oh it's gonna it's gonna fucking and like and like and like Like, you protect them, but like, there's a little bit of letting go that you have to do. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Not cool with that. Yeah, it must be really hard. Nah, dude. And last night, it fucking, God, we were on the way back from my brothers because we went for the rehearsal dinner. And we're in the car and we're like, Ruby, are you so excited? She's like, yeah, you know, I want to learn, blah, blah, blah. And then she goes, I'm sad about Mave. I'm like, why are you sad about Mave?
Starting point is 00:05:27 And she's like, who's Maeve going to play with when I'm gone? Dude, fucking God, Jesus. I'm not, like, in that moment, what did you say? I, I kept quiet. I kept quiet. She's like, dad, hold on, just give me a minute. I let Mommy handle that one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:49 She was like, Maeve won't know what to play. Who's she going to play with? And I was like, fuck. Yeah. Just like, the idea. of like in that moment she just thought about like her sister yeah and like is she going to be okay like she knew she was going to be okay right and she was just like this is like my best friend like is she it's so nice too like with children when you can get to a point where there's examples of
Starting point is 00:06:18 this yeah just take it out shoot it um not the children the heart i don't know if the camera was on yeah let's put the camera on that one but when you have moments where you're like, oh, I'm doing a good job because my daughter is in this moment. That's like about her, but she's thinking about someone else. I mean, just like, that's like such a, that's not a child's mentality. You know what I mean? Like that's like, that's a, or a level of emotional maturity you don't expect, or at least I don't expect from a four and a half year old. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:50 You know, like in that moment. And like, she didn't say this because. for whatever reason, but like, she wasn't, like, she didn't, I wonder, like, is she thinking about, like, me and Becca and Miles and stuff like that? Like, is she worried about how we're going to be? But, like, her first thought to just be like, this is my sister. We play together every day. Yeah. What is she going to do?
Starting point is 00:07:16 Yeah. That's nice. Is fucking, dude. So you dropped her off. Well, we got it, you know, like, we got her ready. She was so fucking excited, dude. Like, she, she wore a special. like she wore the dress she wanted she had a bow she had a bow very cute we got a problem
Starting point is 00:07:32 on our hand she had those signs that's like first day of school oh I loved it and I'm a big fan of those signs like children now when they go to school is like first of all they were just like send us to school yeah I got set goosebumps fucking lunchbox and it's like get out of my hair get the fuck out of there walk there yeah yeah oh my god we've become our parents now we're that's our version of I've walked 20 miles uphill to get to school yeah disgusting yeah but they have the signs now that say like here's my name here's my teacher's name here's what I want to be when I grow up so it was said you know my name is Ruby it's my first day of pre-k yeah I am four years old and then it said uh I love school yeah she had ever been to
Starting point is 00:08:11 school and then it said I want to be popular when I grow up it says I want to be blank when I grow up and she wrote popular it's amazing and I think she did that because she loves like she loves the song popular from the wicked movie So, like, I wonder if she sees, like, a pink princess, like, Ariana Grande and was like, I want to be that. She always says, like, I want to be a princess or something like that. So I just want to be popular. Dude, dropping her off. I got to say, kudos to the school because, like, the moment you walk in, they're like, we're taking the kid.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Like, they're, like, fucking rip the bandaid off. They don't let, because I'm sure there is a science to, like, I'm getting through this pretty good. I'm actually pretty surprised. there's a science to like if you let them wallow in it if you let the family sit in it a little bit it gets harder and so it's like rip the band-aid take them in let them let them go and do their thing they're probably doing that for you guys too i imagine yeah but you know mave mayve was a little upset but it was because there was like a playground outside and she wanted to go on the playground and we didn't know um miles was surprisingly like emotional uh-huh and
Starting point is 00:09:26 And then Becca was good. She held it together. Daddy, daddy's voice was cracking. We knew that was happening. Daddy's voice was cracking. I said, like, I sat with her and I just like, I, I, I hugged her. And I, you know, I said, you know, basically just, you know, go enjoy yourself.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Be brave. Make, you know, do what you, you know, a combination of stuff like that. And I knew, I think in that moment I knew I had to hold it together because I think of She saw me upset. She'd get upset. Yeah, yeah. So then when we got to the car, it was... Good night.
Starting point is 00:10:02 A grenade of emotion. I was firing them off. Yeah. You know, to the point where I'm driving. And Becca's like, you good? Are you okay? Maybe I should drive. Full over.
Starting point is 00:10:10 It's just said, like, bro, the idea of, like, you... Like, the love for a child is unlike anything in the world. I actually heard... I'm going to give credit where credit is due. Sal, Volcano from Impractical Jokers He put it the best way I've ever heard it put About having kids
Starting point is 00:10:34 He's like, yo, you have kids at 35, let's say What do you think it feels like You just out of nowhere, 35 years of living You just feel a new emotion That you've never felt before You've never felt before And it's so fucking intense And like the love for children
Starting point is 00:10:52 And you guys will see it if and when you have children. And then the idea of like you need to, because that's part of life, right? It's like you need to let them go a little bit. I think that's why it's so hard for certain parents to, like sometimes you meet people and they have very overbearing parents. And it's probably because of exactly what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Like it's a necessary part to, you have to allow your kid to make mistakes and whatever. Like that's just a part of it. You have to let them do things that are wrong. And it's so hard because you're like, you feel like I know all the answers. Bingo. But you don't because the world changes and by the time that they're teenagers,
Starting point is 00:11:28 it's like you know the answers back then. Yeah, but imagine your parents trying to be like over your shoulder doing everything. It's also to me though, like a heartbreaking realization that you have to allow the world to kind of harden your children. Yeah. Like that is sad because like you think of like the hurt that you've gone through in your life, whether it be as an adult as a kid, you know, because when you're a kid, kid it's little things you know someone takes your fucking juice box or some shit like
Starting point is 00:11:56 but like the fact that you need to experience that to become tougher or or better on the parents yeah is misery because like that's hard like as a parent your your natural instinct is you want to help you want to heal you want to fix so like the fact that you kind of have to just yeah that sucks yeah that sucks I imagine that's very difficult I don't like it. Call it what you want, whether it be selfish or what. I am completely fine with like the idea of like, I get helicopter parents now. And I really don't try to be one and I don't think I am one. But like, I get it. Is that they like always hovering. Yeah, they're always there always hovering. They fall and they run over. Oh. You know, like, you know, the kids fall. I give
Starting point is 00:12:42 it a beat. See if they're good. You good? You know, if not, I, you know, but like, I get it. Yeah. I get it entirely. Yeah. It's. tough because it's like you feel like this is the right thing like I should be there for my kid but then it's also like the argument of if you try to fix every single one of their problems you're kind of you're doing them a disservice you're hindering their ability to self-cope and you know figure things out for themselves which ultimately they will need later you know obviously and then like because I you know although miles is not my biological son like I don't remember having this visceral of a reaction when he went to daycare it could be because he's not my
Starting point is 00:13:21 son it could be also the because like at least my mentality might get a little political here is the world is he's a boy not always kind to women yeah and like this is this porcelain doll of a daughter that i have yeah and like i'm going to put her into the world that like may or may not be kind to her specifically to women by other bro i'm tell i'm not even kidding Beck and I were talking about it before I came in today Like if we were to find out a boys bullying her I was like yo I'm gonna be one of those parents I'm gonna go down into the school and I'm gonna raise hell
Starting point is 00:13:59 Oh of course like like I'll be Whatever the male version of a Karen is a Gary I'll be here comes Gary I'll go in as Gary and I'll fucking raise hell And just be like yo I'm not fucking dealing with this Yeah that that is not that's not where you want to fuck around at all Yeah I mean that that's that's that's very tough but I think there is a difference when you have boys and you have girls like
Starting point is 00:14:23 girls at least I guess as fathers like if you have a daughter I'd be way more protective of like a daughter than a son because a son is kind of like you know obviously you want you don't want your son to be bullied like that's not you know yeah yeah yeah yeah I know absolutely I just think there's more of an innocence I guess I feel like it's hard to explain and and this might be like maybe a little too intensive of a mentality to take but like the approach
Starting point is 00:14:54 that I kind of bring to it is just like you want to teach a boy to be a good man and you want to teach a girl how to spot bad ones if that makes any sense like you're basically
Starting point is 00:15:12 you're teaching a boy to to be not bad evil you know and a girl to spot that and like one of those is scarier because like you could teach a like this is it's not coming out the way that I'm envisioning in my head right now but like it's easier to spot like the only way you could spot the bad versions of it if if you're exposed to it you know what I mean like you can teach there's just more risk with girls at least the way that I think about it you know what I mean like in terms of like
Starting point is 00:15:47 like, the world being kinder to them. Like, it's just more risky because you can only control so much. Yeah. And I also, like, you know, I think that men probably get away with more shit than than women do also. So, I mean, it's very important to, you know, raise good men. Because there are dudes, like, dudes can abuse the system. I'm not saying that women can't either, but they have less of an opportunity than
Starting point is 00:16:13 men do. Like, men are in a lot of important positions. in the world so like if you raise a bad dude or if they just become a bad dude or whatever the case is like that is a giant uh that could be a giant um like a negative thing to happen to like a bunch of people i also think like and this might be just like too much of a like black and white way of thinking about it but like what happened i love that we've got to this she's going to pre-game where they're coloring all day yes but i get it but i get it Kindergarten's going to be tough.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Yeah, yeah. First grade's going to be tough. Like, she's getting in there. It's like, bro, all right, let's sit down at the board meeting. But, like, I think, like, statistically, like, women are more likely to be victimized by men than the opposite. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I mean, that feels right.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I don't know the statistics. So if someone wants to go crazy with the stats, whatever. But, like, that feels right. In my head, I'm, I'm, I'm, it just feels like more of a, like, innocence. Yeah. and it and it it was fucking heartbreaking and I don't I didn't know
Starting point is 00:17:20 I held it together she didn't see me upset I was on the way here she's only doing two half days right now uh huh she did great she was happy said they had a great day
Starting point is 00:17:28 I was like how do you guys do she's like daddy I don't remember I'm like okay but tough morning stop asking me dude basically yeah
Starting point is 00:17:37 tough don't even you're not cool enough to know I'm very popular by the way I've gotten my wish she oh my god it's
Starting point is 00:17:45 And I'm not worried about Mave I know I will be worried and it'll be emotional with Mave too But like If someone like if someone were to take something from Ruby Feel bad for the teacher probably If someone, let's use this as an example If someone were to take something from Ruby Ruby would let them take it
Starting point is 00:18:01 Not tell anyone but be upset about it Yeah If someone were to take something from Mave Mave would walk over take it Throw them to the ground Yeah And then stomp away happily about it Right you know so like
Starting point is 00:18:13 You can curb that See I think that's the biggest thing too like it really depends like how your child is too because like my nephew mike he's like such a sweetheart so the idea of like but he's like a bigger dude so you're not really like worried but a bigger dude about a five year old but like compared to kids his age i know i know it's just a funny way to put it harder to bully like a bigger kid but like the idea of like someone doing something he's just like oh that makes me upset you know and it's like fucking punch this dude's lights out obviously you're not teaching your kids that yeah no no no you know a part of you is like
Starting point is 00:18:43 dude stand up for yourself but like that's not how you know like in the house it's like this is your sister you're not going to push your sister you're not going to like you're going to go over to your mom be like that made me upset you know yeah it's it's it's uh tough day for frank it was tough it was tough oh and immediately put on like sentimental music when i got in the car oh you wanted to oh i wanted to turn it i wanted to sit in it dude i love crying and then crying like hard cry yeah if i'm going like if i'm a little emotional and like something's getting me a little bit. I'm like, let's fucking take this to the moan and cry. Yeah, but see
Starting point is 00:19:16 hard crying driving is tough though because you can't really let loose. Oh, I do it. Driving? Hell yeah. That's dangerous, dude. That's like driving. That's not, I'm not even going to say it. That's dangerous, dude. Drunk, I think. I think that's right. I was like,
Starting point is 00:19:32 what? I, no, I do it. Like, because music, music sometimes I can, like, get in my head and, like, just make myself cry from, like, certain things. What intensity of cry can you get in a car? No, I haven't cried like that in a while. When I'm talking about like crying, though, it's like tears, like actual tears coming down. Like strong tears coming down.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Yeah. What the hell was that? Driving on to the. Oh, I was like, he was just like, fucking tears coming down. I thought it was some anime thing because I know how much you're into it. I was like, I cry tears, senpai. Yeah, no, I can get myself going. I've done it in the car a bunch of times on planes pretty much every time.
Starting point is 00:20:11 I've told you guys that. Planes, I don't think, I've cried maybe once or twice on planes. Long flights. Like, if the flight is over five hours, there is a chance that at some point I get welled up, just for no reason. I don't know. It's weird. No, not me.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I'll do it just to, like, do it. The airports, like, when I'm, like, waiting to get on a flight and I see, like, if I'm coming home and I, like, extra miss the kids and Becca, and I see, like, a mom with the kids or something like that, I have to look down. I can't look at it. I can't. I can't. because it's it's just like you know yeah it's just like right there in front of you dude you know
Starting point is 00:20:44 what i've noticed that's made me that makes me cry so much is people when they're so happy that they cry kills me so happy that they cry like when like a you know they're waiting at the airport with a sign and they finally show up and fucking they just like embrace each other yeah it's like surprising people with something and they get so happy it's weird like there's like an age bracket of like crying that gets me emotional like old bastard Old people crying? That gets me crazy. That gets me going because there's power behind those tears.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Old people just sitting alone. Boom. Oh, I think there's old people. No, because I don't like them. Oh. See, like, old people, once they start being old at you, I'm like, all right. Once they start, like, you know, like, back in my day, you kids, you kids. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:21:32 But, like, if I saw a video once of a girl driving by somewhere and there was an old guy sitting on like a bench with his dog next to him and I was like I'm gonna lose my mind right now Really? Yeah I don't know Old people with dogs
Starting point is 00:21:46 Gets me Especially when the dogs are also old Old men talking about How much they love their wife That passed away Hell yeah Ruin's me Hell yeah
Starting point is 00:21:58 Fucking old bastards Those make me cry like crazy Yeah the one where it was just You ever see the fucking This is my cryptonite There was a video Of a soldier coming home To his daughter
Starting point is 00:22:09 To his daughter Who's like Three or something And she sees him And she's in class And she starts running over to him She goes Oh daddy
Starting point is 00:22:17 Yes Yeah Video Fucking fucking murdered me Yeah No I've seen the ones Where she's like Daddy I missed you
Starting point is 00:22:33 Nah Yeah Dude Every time I come home From one of the shows Mabe gives me the biggest husband she goes you came home what the hell she knows what she's doing she knows what she's doing dude it gets me every single time any of those soldier coming home ones
Starting point is 00:22:50 get me if there's little kids involved turn me into sashimi and eat me on a tuesday 14 14 yeah dude those are those are fucked up i saw another one where it was like it was a it was like a football one of the captains walked out and they were like shaking hands with the captains but then the guy took his helmet off and he and it was his dad yeah no the soldier we know we've already spoken about this a million times the soldiers one gets me but you're right when it's like old sad old people yeah that gets me where it's just like we were together 70 years she's love of my life love of my life forever you know and then like that gets me because you know fuck me man did you see the audition tape of the guy who played
Starting point is 00:23:34 the kid from E.T. talking, like, auditioning. Yeah, he's good. You can see the audition tape of the kid? How would I have, how and when and where would I have seen the audition tape? It just went viral recently, and I was watching it. I was like, that got me. I'm like, damn. The kid was good, man. He got it right on the spot. He's like, literally, the guy goes,
Starting point is 00:23:52 congratulations kids, you got it. At the fucking audition. Really? Yeah. Dude, it was the guy. His name is Spielberg. Was it Steve? Yes. Was it Steve Spilgs? Stevie Spee. The guy, yeah, one of the most prolific directors of our time. I don't know if it was a casting director, I don't know. It probably was a casting director.
Starting point is 00:24:09 But, no, yeah, no, no, no, I haven't seen that. I don't like, if it, I, we spoke about it recently on an episode where it's just like old people finding out their like grandson or granddaughter is named after them. And it's just like, no, man. See, I like crying, though. My mom just had my, my new niece is named after her. Oh, God, your mom must have fucking lost it. Yeah. And then, you know, she would have turned into a show, too.
Starting point is 00:24:33 I'd be like, Nance, calm down. Nancy used to get after it every new year. She would cry our eyes out. Oh, every New Year's. Yeah. She put on a show yesterday at my brother's rehearsal dinner. I mean, I imagine, too. She was like, and I'm like, Mom.
Starting point is 00:24:47 And she'd be like, what? Like, in a split second, you know? Yeah, take it, take it easy. And she'd be like, fuck you. Yeah, fuck, oh, fuck you. Sorry for crying. Oh, whoa, I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed.
Starting point is 00:24:59 I'm not allowed to. show any mention. Fuck you. And then she'd go, hey, Frank, hey Frank. Yeah, yeah. I wish I had a dollar
Starting point is 00:25:07 for every time your mom gave me the finger. Oh, I mean, then you'd have another billion dollars. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Speaking of old goddamn broads. Were we on all goddamn broad? We were talking about old people. Yeah. You know, there's old broad
Starting point is 00:25:22 at the baseball game. Oh, let me get to the ads first before we get into that old bag. Yeah. Yeah, because that really,
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Starting point is 00:31:53 Now, as I said earlier, we're doing these live shows. We're killing it, honestly. I don't mean to break myself patting myself on the back, but here's my arm and here's my back, and I've hurt my arm on my back, okay? And if you want to try to come to any of our shows, if you go to thebasementyard.com, look around, poke around, may I say.
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Starting point is 00:33:02 the show it's so much fun so the reason it's fun is because of you so go check it out all right thank you guys we love you guys I don't remember what I said about that zucchini thing but I think that was a pretty we might make that a line right if so facto I make it a line and it becomes a big one so is a zucchini thing so about nutrient dense roots. Self praise, better than no praise. Hell yeah, baby. That's what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Self-love? It's good love. It's good love. Good love. Yeah, so about this dumb old white broad. Here's what I'll say about this woman. The haircut. Well, she's not doing it.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Listen. She's really fulfilling a stereotype here. It's her prophecy. If you're going to have that hat, you're going to, go, it's going to happen. Well, here's a thing. Karen has become such a big, like, thing that, like, white women, you need to protect
Starting point is 00:34:04 yourself. It's a disease. It is a disease. Yeah. God damn it. Being a Karen is a disease. You know the haircut, dude. You know the haircut.
Starting point is 00:34:11 You know the way. You know the self-entitlement. You know the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the, you know, these things. So why do you contribute to it? I don't know, but there was a woman who's fucking basically took a baseball from a child at a Philly's game. Just play the video. Yeah, I got you.
Starting point is 00:34:32 And then we'll kind of talk about it. We'll get into the rules of. So it's a little, uh, it replays like a little bit, but the whole thing's here. Okay. Just give it a second. Yeah, so see her haircut, you know what I'm saying? Like, not good. Everyone's just kind of like, oh, I got to say this.
Starting point is 00:34:48 The dad looks a little afraid here. But, but, oh. scanning she went marching off dude not a good look for the dad i will say that if someone taps on you at a game and you yeah yeah that's a little that's uh not a great look for him the the being scared here or whatever that was yeah i don't know i'm that very confused by that here's what happens right so a ball gets hit into the stands now when a ball usually gets hit into a stands at a baseball game everyone's scrambling for this ball they want the ball the rules are there's no rules
Starting point is 00:35:24 okay you don't hit anybody but everyone's grabbing for this thing it's kind of like a fumble okay pretty much like whoever gets palm on ball first it's there they've basically got it yeah but you got to pull it to you if you've got the ball like this and you catch it like that
Starting point is 00:35:40 and there's a bunch of hands around and someone pulls it out of your hand it's their ball no that I disagree with that I disagree with if you as soon as ball and palm make contact no way because it hits that hand it could fall out but okay so make like you need a what do they say you need a football move once once you get the closing and it's like in your hand once you've
Starting point is 00:36:04 wrapped your fucking sausage fingers around it it's yours i don't i don't agree i think that if like you if the ball's being hit in the air right and everyone's jumping up for the ball and you get it in your hand like this and you're still in this motion if you have it if you're like yeah if you can celebrate with it, then it's your ball. But if it's like in that motion and people are going for it and you lose it, you lost it. The best version of this that I've ever seen. Did you ever see when Barry Bonds
Starting point is 00:36:31 hit the 756 home run? Yeah. It was a dude from Queens who caught it and just went like a fucking like Thundercat. Yeah. You can't rob anyone once they have it. That's why if you grab it, you're supposed to pull it in. Yeah, you're supposed to. And
Starting point is 00:36:47 there is a respect of just like, all right, you give up at that point. It's like, all right, they got it. But a lot of times what happens is it'll land in a spot where no one caught it, so it's on the ground, and everyone's making a mad dash for it. And sometimes a bunch of hands get on it, but it's whoever pulls it out of there that gets you. That's kind of what happened here. Well, no, in the video, which it wasn't in this video, but I saw the OG-O-G. She's on the aisle above where the ball lands. So it hits and it rolls down onto a new level.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Yeah. And then at that point, the dad scoops it up. Uncontested, by the way. It looked like she was going for it too. Can you go? I think I have it here. Yeah, pull it up because like they were like both there. It was below her. It was like the seat below. So look, she's in the aisle and it goes below. Yeah. And he snags it. And it goes under the seats and he got it. And look, takes it. Excited. Gives it to his kid. Gives it to his kid. And then oh my. And she's like, hey, that was my ball. Bro, it's a fucking baseball. Also, bro. Here's another rule that I have for you people out there. If you're at a baseball game and you catch a foul ball, give it to a child.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Yes, dude. Give it to a fucking child. Dude, unless it's like a, like a worth them. No foul ball is worth anything. Well, that was a home run. Yeah, that was, if it was like a valuable home run, like, yeah, yeah, like when judge hit it or like Jeter's 3,000 or bonds. Shit like that. Dude, give it to a child.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Give it to a child. You know how pumped they're going to be? Yeah. That's going to be, like, that might be the moment they're just like, yo, I want to become a baseball, when I come older and like you're etched in their memory is like this person did this kind thing for me like that video is everything that I feel is fucking wrong with the world right now like this woman felt the sense of like fucking like it's mine because it landed in front of me and someone else like fuck you yeah dude this woman sacrifice the body you gotta dive down there
Starting point is 00:38:42 you want it you want it let's see put the body on the line dive over have we I'm sure the internet, and I'm not going to ask this for, like, I don't want to ask this question, because I'm sure this woman is probably getting bullied. Oh, she's getting her fucking, yeah, she's getting torched. Whatever. But just, just, just, just, like, you're, and she's clearly, like,
Starting point is 00:39:04 in her mid to late 50s, you would say, maybe early 60s. I don't know. She's, she's, she's, I think that's a dye job, dude. I don't think she has a white hair. She's seen some stuff. Give the ball to the kid. Yeah, that to me is insane. Like, it'd be one thing if you're going to walk over to like, you know, 27-year-old dudes and be like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:39:21 But, like, there's a, it's in a child's glove. Yeah, it literally. So he goes over to his son, puts it in his son's glove. He's, like, hugging him, like, I got you a ball. Isn't this so cool? He's a Phillies fan. The Phillies hit the home run. And then this woman, he handled that well.
Starting point is 00:39:35 I will say that. I probably would have done the same thing. He eventually gave her the ball. He was like, here, take the ball. And he went like this. He's like, get the fuck out of here. Like, stop screaming at me and my kids. Jokes on, what were you going to say?
Starting point is 00:39:45 I feel like you wouldn't give the ball up. that but it'd be funnier if I'm like this ball and threw it back launch it back that no because then everyone loses cut the yeah cut the baby in half but that everyone but then everyone loses I'm fine with that I would be like no because I would rather I'd rather my kid win yeah but if you hand it back well he wound up winning because there's more of the story but I'm saying in that moment you handing it back you are losing I'd rather all right if I have to lose every no I think there's a level of high like he took the high road she looks like a maniac a little bit there have been people that have like put this into
Starting point is 00:40:18 a i and made her into like gollum from lord of the ring where she's like my precious you know yeah i that was so dumb to pretty poor pretty poor gallum impression i'm sorry about that it wasn't that bad can i try again good i need a precious someone give me like what wow i stabbed my finger with that you okay i unclicked it you should be No, it clicked in my finger Oh I passed out
Starting point is 00:40:51 He's like My precious It was worse than the first time Really? I think so I think the first time is better yeah Really I really need that pen Now it's literally on the back wall
Starting point is 00:41:03 That's as far as it Go get that pen now bitch Wow that's crazy That was the little nuts Yeah I'm sorry Go get it and Mr. Bitch You kind of good boyed me now I can't get it Oh no no no I'm sorry I'm sorry you want me to get it
Starting point is 00:41:14 for you, during the next round of bads, I'll get it. Yeah, but you can't do this, bro. Like, I, I would be like, yo, you want it so bad? Take it from my fucking son's glove, then, you maniac. Ooh, put her in the position that she needs to rip it from the kid's hands? Yeah, like, take it from them. But you know, this woman has the idea of, like, it was mine.
Starting point is 00:41:35 I'm getting to, I don't care. You're making me be the bad guy. Take it from your son. I'll do it. Like, no one agrees with you. I got to say something. If this was my family. First of all, this woman's getting a verbal argument out of me.
Starting point is 00:41:49 She's, because he gave it up pretty quick. Yeah, yeah. She's getting a what? You dumb, dumbass? What would you realistically do? I almost went dumb bitch. You dumb bitch! What would you do, though, if, first of all, if I'm in that situation and that woman comes
Starting point is 00:42:05 storming up to me and she's using foul language, look out. All bets are off. I'm going to be the biggest little bitch in the world. Yeah, I'm going to be fucking, I'm saying some crazy shit. but she if like what would you do realistically like really put yourself there don't be like I'd flip back like really if if you're at a baseball game and that happens you get a ball you give it to miles and your fucking daughters are there too yo it's miles is but like what do you do you're like yo just get out of here go the fuck away go away at a certain point if this woman is
Starting point is 00:42:35 super intense I'm gonna look at Becca and be like we're gonna have to you're gonna have to start swinging because I'm not you know just like if this woman starts like pushing and shit that's when i step back and i let you know yeah old freehold beka will come through and she'll be like squaring up with people and shit i'll be in the back like get her ass me yeah she's old enough she knows the golden rule of finders keepers dude this woman sucks so bad i think like you're like here's the thing is even though you got the ball you took it from a child yeah like how could you like if i'm her how can you enjoy that if i'm her i would
Starting point is 00:43:13 I would almost like have a moment. Like if I'm mad enough that I'm going to walk over there and be like, you took that from me, blah, blah, blah. And then he takes it out of the kid's glove and gives it to me. There's no way I'm walking away with that. Because now I look like a maniac. Like you don't have a come to Jesus moment of like, oh shit. I just took this from a kid and now everyone has seen that.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Like give it to the kid, but you're an asshole. Like if you want to do that, like fine. But bro, you walk away with the ball is so crazy. I feel like there is a certain, because I love watching videos of like Karen's getting owned you know what I'm talking about where you know like the one that I love is settle down oh my god calm down and the or
Starting point is 00:43:51 like the one where like you know white women like old Karens will like yell something at like a person of color and then turn around and fall in their face you ever see the video of the dude who like pulls up like next to those girls and he's like screaming shit and she goes you're bald and he goes
Starting point is 00:44:07 he just doesn't have many of the same like freezes no the one that I love and I I actually think it might be fake because it kind of looks a little staged where, like, the girl, it's like an old woman. And she's like, that's my bag. I'm first in line. He's like, congrats, you're first in line at Chili's. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:25 And she's like, I don't like your attitude. Yeah. I love that. I pray for someone to be a smart ass to me in public. I really don't wish for that. So do you give, you said you would give the ball back? If you're with your son, little, what were you, Walrus? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Walrus, your son, a little walrus, you catch a home run ball of a team that he's a fan of. Yeah. Like, the only way I could see being like, no, fuck that. It's the kid's ball. Yeah. I mean, I think that, like, it would be tough. I would probably, like, try to put it in perspective for her being like, you're going to take the ball from the kid? Like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:45:06 She probably said, like, well, you took the ball from an old woman. But I would get that. I'd be like, okay, if you think I'm an asshole, that's one thing, like, fine. Like, I don't care, but, like, you're literally going to take this ball from him. Like, even if you caught the ball, you should give it to him. Like, that's what we do out here. Yeah. We catch balls and we give them to the children.
Starting point is 00:45:25 At this point in my life, it would need to be a really cool ball for me to not give it to a kid. Judge's home run, like, his record ball. Yeah. Just so we're all on the same page here. This woman is wrong. Had that been judge's home run record-breaking home-run ball, I will throw a foot. I will throw a high kick to anyone who's around for that ball.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Can I ask you a question? Because this is a popular topic of conversation in the world of sports. Are you selling that ball? Danny makes fun of me forever for this. You may have been there as well who's making fun of me too. Are you giving it for free? Are you selling it? Are you holding on to it?
Starting point is 00:46:11 Because, like, this is, like, a lot of people have, like, differing opinions. People, like, there are some people that are like, yo, it's Aaron Judge's ball. He worked for it. He could take it Scott Free. I'm pretty sure at one point in time that was my mentality. Me too. Now, at one point, I said to Danny, and Danny was like, you're a fucking idiot. Because he was, I was like, I think it was Jeter's 3,000th hit.
Starting point is 00:46:35 And I was like, I would give it to him. Like, it's his ball. Like, it's his whole career. It's like this ball. I'm going to hold on to it because I'm greedy and I need money. But I feel like I change my tune as you learn more about like, if they want that ball, they're going to get it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:52 They're going to get that ball. I mean, here's a thing is if Aaron Judge were to hit, like, let's use that as an example. Aaron Judge broke the single season American League home run record a couple of years ago. Let's say the ball is worth $3 million. If Aaron, I'm more, if the Yankees organization was like, we want. the ball. I would first of all have a high ask. What's your ask? I'm getting season tickets for a number of years. Okay. Several years. You also have to go to the games though. I don't have to. But at least I get it. Sure. Like I could go to the games. But like that's worth it to you? You know how much Yankee
Starting point is 00:47:31 season tickets are? No, I know. There are a couple hundred thousand. Yeah. Depending on where you are. Legend sweet access. Like I'm going to be like, yo, you're the Yankees. blank check but that's never been what people have got I know because they're just like no and then the people end up selling it on the like the ad auction basically for millions of dollars on end and there have also been instances where people just give it to the athlete yeah and the athlete won't do it like maybe sometimes they'll be like here's a sign jersey and a sign bat and whatever yeah I think the the the honest moral high moral person in me says give it to them they earned it
Starting point is 00:48:13 the realistic person in me though the american yeah says hold that shit sell it for five million at auction baby yeah like i'm like it's tough it would be tough to i think because we're in a blessed position to be doing the job that we're doing and we're paid well i'm more inclined to just give it to them yes but like for for an athlete to expect someone who's sitting in in the bleachers who caught this home run to not change their life with it i mean i would encourage that if i'm judged to be like bro you're going to get three million dollars for that ball bro i mean it's just going to be a baseball you know i'm taking no matter what position i'm in i'm taking three million dollars no i know i'm saying i'm in a very
Starting point is 00:48:59 blessed position i'm very very well aware of that i'm not in that bliss of a position well i'm taking that three million dollars maybe i'm not saying that i would absolutely Absolutely, blah, blah, blah. It would also would have to be an athlete that I'm like, if it was a team that I'm not a fan of, you'd have to kill me for the ball. Oh, like, if it were like you caught like fucking... If it was like a Jets touchdown,
Starting point is 00:49:20 I'd be like, I'm keeping this fucking ball for every. Why would you have it? It's more like, how can they have it? No, like they score a touchdown and they give you the ball. Oh, fuck you! I see what you did there, bitch. What? Slimy fucking bitch.
Starting point is 00:49:34 What, what, what? The joke is they can't score a touchdown. That's the joke. That's the joke. No, let's say if it were a home run hit by Anyone who is not on the Yankees, I'm keeping it If I went to like a Yankees Red Sock game or a Yankees
Starting point is 00:49:48 Bro, if I went to a Yankees Astros game And I caught like a historic Astro home run I am going to be the dumbest little Slimy worm for this ball I'd be like, oh yeah Fold your whole team and admit your cheaters You fucks Admit it! Admit it! You slimy bastards!
Starting point is 00:50:06 Yeah, like I am going to be such a little prick about it. Yeah. Same with the Red Sox. Red Sox, I'll just be like, you want it? Give me season tickets and then they give it to me and I'll be like, oh, I lost it in the river. You know? I just, I can't. I think the realistic thing to do is to ask for them, especially if it's like a big one. Like, who's going to really want like the 100th career home run of fucking Jose Altuve? Yeah. But like if it's, if it's a record breaking home run, it's like, bro, you hold on to that. Pull up the video of Barry Bond's historic home run and the guy that, the guy, it was a dude from Queens that caught it.
Starting point is 00:50:41 I think he's in a Mets jersey and he just throws, I watched it live, dude. And I was just like, yo, that guy's probably, at the time I was just like, you know, he's probably going to make like a million dollars. Yeah. If he had held on to that ball until today, forget it, five million, 10 million. Probs. I don't know if we're going to be able to like see the crowd though. No, you can.
Starting point is 00:51:01 You can see it right there. In this one? Yeah, look. All right. I got you. MLB, please, we love you. Don't strike us. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:51:08 They definitely will. Yep. And then watch this. The guy throws his arm up right in the air. That's a crazy home run to catch, too. 7.56. Oh, and I guess. They're not going to show it.
Starting point is 00:51:18 This is what I imagine would be going to show the crowd. Okay. Demonitized now for no reason. It's right. Whatever. But, yeah, catching that ball, you're like, your life's changed. You're a millionaire now. Yeah, but I'm sure Uncle Sam comes in knocking.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Cares. He's still a millionaire. You saw someone won the 1.8 bills. Yeah. Did they? One person? Two. Two.
Starting point is 00:51:36 One in Texas. One in Missouri. Wow, dude I bought a couple tickets Did you? You bought a couple tickets? No, I was gonna But then I forgot
Starting point is 00:51:44 That mentality is so stupid to me What? Not buying lot of tickets? In that situation I don't buy lot of tickets Unless it's over a billion dollars What kind of rule is that? It gets me excited
Starting point is 00:51:59 You're like maybe Yeah And then all of my TikTok Like fucking feed Was just like Here's what you do if you win the mega million powerball yeah one sign the back of the car take pictures with it photo like if it's over a bill i'll play under a bill i'll be i won't you have more chances under
Starting point is 00:52:21 the bill i can't even imagine what you would be like after like winning that like i feel like you would be so scared dude yeah you would be like yo i'm not going outside someone knocked on my door it's like his mailman no no serious thing i don't think i don't think i don't think i I wouldn't tell a single soul. I've thought about this. Because I used to be like, yeah, I'd tell my friends and family. No one will know. If you hit the jackpot, right?
Starting point is 00:52:49 You immediately go into hiding. I wonder how it is. I don't know about... They just wire it? I don't know about hiding. I'm sure you have to give, like, where you want the money to end up and stuff like that. I don't know about hiding, but I am, like, for several months going to remain. low. Like, not hiding, but like, I really, if I were to tell people, because I really don't think
Starting point is 00:53:14 I would, it would take a while. So, because they were, they were, they were, they were saying like this, with the 1.8 billion, it was like after original, after basically all the taxes and all the fees, it would be like $400 million. And then like the next year. Wait, hold on. What'd you say? 1.8? Mm-hmm. And it would be 400 million if you take lump. If you take lump. Half of it immediately gone. Yeah. And then...
Starting point is 00:53:42 And then there's more income tax and stuff like that. And then lump is another like 40 gone. Or maybe that was when it was 1.1. 1.8, it's 400 makes no. I think it's around 7. Let's say, so like lump something. I mean, look it out. You can find that pretty quick.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Let's call it 500 million. Let's call it 500 million. You will never work a day in your life if you chose not to. Of course. It's generational wealth forever. I mean, untaxed. you put it in the market, you're getting $50 to $60 million untaxed a year. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:54:14 I really, really, really don't think I would tell a soul for a very long time. Because I would be afraid. But what would you, but what, so what would you do with it? I mean, I'm hiring security. For what? What do the fuck you mean for what? Now you're in, you're a, almost a billion. You just said no one knows.
Starting point is 00:54:35 I know. So, yeah, I guess the security. I guess the security will be... I go to Frankshouse. There's guards with guns. I'm like, what's this about? Nothing. There would be signs, like I said.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Yeah. What was it? It's $800. Lump sum. Yeah. You saw $400 because it was two winners. It's split. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:52 So basically, after taxes, it will probably be around $600. I thought the taxes was the $50%. I think that's what they walk away with. I think that's everything. Taxes is the $50%. $800 million. $800 million. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:55:06 to just wake up to just go like this and you're a new person is crazy I'm I would have to like all the other times the jackpots have been this high we've talked about this
Starting point is 00:55:21 I'm sitting down and having a couple drinks in quiet you would need to hire a lot of people to tell you what to do with your money that's too much money well they say they say that you the first thing you should do is contact a lawyer and a like a basically like a money
Starting point is 00:55:35 financial advisor and then our financial advisor would be very happy but like even that what do you do as a financial advisor when you get that much money you diversify
Starting point is 00:55:51 I know but I'm saying like I imagine like that's an intense amount of money to have in your control sure I mean I think you do like a mix of things I think it's a slow deployment of the funds like obviously you could put some in the market. You're not going to put all of it in the market, though.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Like, you would buy real estate. You would buy, you know. That's, that's all nice. That first month, I'm partying, dude. First month, I'm going crazy. But like, well, so what does that look like, though, to you? For him? Twisted tea fountain shup fucking funneled into his ass. I'll be honest. It'll probably look about the same until I really realize I have all this, and then it'll be. Oh, man, those parlays that you'll be throwing. No, I can. I can. You would. I mean, it would be no reason to gamble if you have 800 million dollars. Yeah, like you gambled to like trying to get that. I was going to say you're also
Starting point is 00:56:40 a lot of people that are like gambling addicts say they didn't gamble to win. They gambled for the feeling of yeah, that's true. You know, so like they're still going to gamble. It's just the amount they're gambling with is changing. Yeah. I, dude, I would go live in like Europe somewhere or some shit. You just completely up and dip.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Yeah. Thanks man. I mean, no, I would still do this. I would still do this. What about the people that earn a living fucking no no no i mean obviously like that but i'm saying like i know what you would do yeah i would just kind of like we would record one day a week 10 episodes 10 episodes and then you'd come in for that one day fly from fucking europe on your private jet and then you'd go right back and live in a villa and fucking on the amalfi coast not there but somewhere for sure oh it's the the athors oh that would be nice the athors or or Espagna
Starting point is 00:57:33 Do I love a little bit of Spain Where they don't even eat dinner Until like midnight Who says that? You never heard that? I have but I didn't say that It's like all that they always make fun Of the people that like study abroad
Starting point is 00:57:47 Where they come back and they're just like 8.30? What? That's so We don't even eat dinner until like midnight Dude I hate that by the way I hate that idea Where it's like tapas Fuck tapas
Starting point is 00:57:58 Well I don't like eating It's super late The absolute latest and I'll only do this if it's a really nice restaurant at 10 o'clock. Absolute latest. 10.30, I'm like, nah. Interesting. I haven't even thought about that.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Like, what's the latest? I mean, obviously, like, the best, depending on where you're going, if I'm going to a really nice restaurant, I probably will favor, like, 8.30.9. Yo. I just thought of one of the things I would do if I won the jackpot. It should be good. Richie Rich style
Starting point is 00:58:34 I'm putting a restaurant in my crib and it may not be a McDonald's but like I'm putting a restaurant my crib dude okay and like
Starting point is 00:58:46 it could be no it won't be a functional right it'll just be for me right one table one table you know you don't need a full menu
Starting point is 00:58:56 just what I want why not just get a chef yeah that's a good point you could get like a team of chefs that's a good point I like cooking, though. You ever see really rich people's houses and they have like a chef's kitchen? That's so far.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Dude. There's like a kitchen and then a chef's kitchen. I like cooking, but you know what? At that much money, I'm just going to be a little, like, what do you want for dinner? I'd be like, yo, I would, I don't think I'd survive, Joe. A chef is a fucking sick one. I don't think I would survive because I would be like every night, Tomahawks. Every night.
Starting point is 00:59:30 Tomahawks. Every night Tomahawks and fucking. oysters and october Tommy Tuesday Tommy Thursday Dude Tommy tomorrow Tommy tomorrow Yeah
Starting point is 00:59:38 It's a Tommy weekend Yeah it's Tommy time Tommy today Tommy time What's like the one thing That you would be like I'm gonna indulge a little bit Oh I know what you
Starting point is 00:59:48 All of it Joey This Joey's sign would be He'd show up with like a fucking Platinum Daytona No I Probably
Starting point is 01:00:00 Like really nice real estate. I honestly have no interest in like, not that I have no interest. Like I get from a investing perspective, like real estate, but like a sick house. Like I would love that.
Starting point is 01:00:15 I mean, you're gonna have a sick house as it is, bitch. I meant like if you have $800 million and being like, I can just get like, or multiple. Yeah, but like at what point is that just like, who cares? Too much.
Starting point is 01:00:27 You know what I mean? A house? Yeah, like what are you going to get? Like a house with like 20 bedrooms? for what reason? No, I would see, yeah, I don't like that. I actually think that's mad creepy. It's just like parts of your house that like, there are people that are like,
Starting point is 01:00:39 yo, I've only been in that part of the house once since I bought the house. And I've lived here for 15 years. Yeah, that's strange. I would rather, like, property and like a decent sized house that's like homie and like, you know, in-laws and your family and stuff, like everyone has their own rooms. Which now that sounds like a lot of bedrooms. But something like that. But then, like, the outdoor space.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Like, the entertaining spaces are large. Dude, my backyard. Like the living rooms and the backyard. My backyard would be fire. Lazy river. Lazy river. Yeah. You know, you could throw in some fucking, you know, a bar.
Starting point is 01:01:18 See, if I had 800 million, though, I would be doing dumb shit. Like, I would do, like, I would have an, like I said, the entertaining spaces of my house, I think would be big because I like being around people and hosting and stuff like that. So those things. But also, I would be like. We're hiring whoever's the best, like, sushi chef in New York City to come and do it here. Oh, my God. And also hiring, like, a famous singer or something. Like, come sing a song.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Yeah, like Taylor Swift is going to sing my daughter's birthday. Exactly. Yeah. Like shit like that. That might be, too. That might still be out of budget after a while. It might be, yeah. If you had.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Taylor Swift. One a year. One a year. $800 million, dude. First of all, Taylor Swift's not picking up the fucking phone, dude. For $800 million? Well, I wouldn't offer everything. If I said Taylor Swift, come and for $2 million, just sing, do a little concert, hang with the kids.
Starting point is 01:02:12 I bet you would do it. Two million? Two million is a lot. Two million is a lot of money. For a fucking dinner. And not only is it a lot, but it's so low-lift. Like, she's probably making three to five mil for her shows, and those are three hours of singing and dancing nonstop. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:26 I'd be like, yo, come at your leisure, do some songs and have food and drinks. you know through mill bring Travis we'll throw the pigskin around I gotta admit I'm kind of upset that no billionaires are fans at the basement yard because they just be like yo name the price come come do a show in my backyard would you do it honestly that would be terrifying why to to to go in someone's backyard and be responsible for a dinner party dude if someone hit us up let me make something very good shut the fuck up obviously the answer is yes okay thank you yeah if someone hit us up it was just like Listen, I'm a billionaire.
Starting point is 01:03:01 My kids love your show. Hello, I'm a billionaire. It's their birthday party. Just come and just like mingle and emcee the birthday party and have fun. Yeah. First of all, what are you asking for realistically? I wouldn't. I would make them offer.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Smart. Let them offer and then you say too low. Well, and then you go up. Say too low no matter what on their first. So if they say like, we'll give you a million dollars. You're like, sorry, that's too low. All right. Two million.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Okay, you know, then you walk away with $2 million. It's mad excited. I mean, one million, because we'd split it 50-50. He's mad excited. You're not coming, bitch. Where am I seeing this? Sorry. Can't do nothing.
Starting point is 01:03:42 I can't do nothing. He's like, I produce the show. Who's going to produce? I wish you could just get money from people and the government doesn't take it, dude. I'm so sick. Me too. There is a way now. Yeah, apparently.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Streamers. Yeah. They just released this new tax thing where streamers, tips and donations. up to 25K, tax-free? Up to 25K, though, that's fucking nothing. 25K is definitely not. I know it's a lot of... The first 25,000 being...
Starting point is 01:04:09 But I'm saying, like, you think of, like, Kai and the other streamers... They're too big for a team and count. That's a different tax code all in general. $25,000 tax-free is gigantic. That's a lot of money, you know, I agree. But it starts there, so, like, after that is... If they were to say, like, no tips or gifts
Starting point is 01:04:27 that you receive from streaming is tax... I'm going home. streaming tonight. You know what I'm saying? It's fair, but they got to get money at some point. But why? Like, why does a government need a piece of everything? The idea is that they're, you know, building the infrastructure.
Starting point is 01:04:45 But they're not, dude. They are and aren't. They're not doing enough, I will say. But they are the ones who, like, they fix the potholes. I wish they would be like this. I wish it would be like this. You can choose where to put your tax. Yeah, but then, because if it was just like you could, but like, it's only like a certain amount.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Like once you do a certain amount in this place, then you have to pick another option. So like, say it's like you can either give it to the government and they'll divvy it up or you can give it to the school system or you can give it to the, you know, public works, you know, sewage, electrical, all that. Well, just some places probably just need less money than others. Also, if you really want it, like Florida, like no income tax. Yeah, but that's a, that's, that's, that's, that's, yes, they have no income tax, but they have other taxes where your money goes to. I, I just debunked this with someone that I know. In New York, you have every tax. Yeah, every that. Oh, no, no, I know. City, state, federal. And you're talking to someone that works in one state and lives in another. So guess who gets double butt fucked. Oh. That's an intense way to put that. Yeah, that was very intense, but I get it. You know what I'm saying. I think he calls for dramatics though. It does. Yeah. But like, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough But someone But then there was
Starting point is 01:06:04 If there wasn't that Then you'd be responsible To be like Collecting money To be like We gotta fix this road Or just go fix it Yourself
Starting point is 01:06:12 You can fix the highway No I can't And I won't Was it you who told me If you do the adopt a highway You're like responsible for that Not me
Starting point is 01:06:23 That can't be true Yeah you're like You have to I think I think you sponsor it So I'm sure they're like Looking at for like you need to contribute to some
Starting point is 01:06:32 in some capacity but like I don't think if you adopt it you owe them like you're responsible for everything no I meant like to keep it clean or something then why would I ever adopt a highway why would I ever be like yeah sure let me take this part of the highway I don't know I remember like
Starting point is 01:06:48 hearing something about the adopt a highway and I was like that is a significant catch also I've spoken openly about this having roads or bridges or tunnels named after me I would never want because then people hate you and curse your name without even knowing it's you. You know what I mean? Like, yes, people love George Washington, but how many people have cursed him because of the bridge? I'm not cursing him. I think the bridge
Starting point is 01:07:10 should go down. Yeah, but you should be like, fuck the George Washington. You're right, which is, which part? About the, if you adopt a highway through a volunteer program, you're responsible for agreed upon maintenance such as litter cleanup and sometimes landscaping. Yeah, see? Why ever adopt a highway? I have no idea. Never in a million years will I ever do that, no. I have no idea, like, what the point of that is. The big infrastructure stuff, the government will still do, but for the little things, yeah, you are responsible. Yo, we should, we should see if they'll name 48th Street Park after us. It's named after someone.
Starting point is 01:07:43 Yeah, it's like Paul Raimanda or some shit. Who the fuck is that idiot? I couldn't tell you. Exactly. But it sounds like he's making a donation every year to keep it clean. No, he's probably long dead. I mean, I wouldn't know. It was still being a foundation.
Starting point is 01:07:55 It wasn't Paul Remanda when we were younger. I know, it was just the part. And then it was Paul Riemund. So what if it was... It's the Joe and Frank Park. How much you're willing to put up for that? Nothing. They just give it to us.
Starting point is 01:08:05 Right. You would need last night. That's the issue. They would say they should just give it to us because it's what I am deserved, which, like, that white woman would deserve, that baseball. Exactly. That's how you tell you back in. First and full circle.
Starting point is 01:08:18 Yeah, getting a plaque at a park. That would be nice. Maybe if you make a big enough donation, they'll put a plaque up. You either need to be really, like, give a lot of money or die. In order to be named after a park? Yeah. Yeah? I imagine.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Look, look it up in New York, in New York City, how to get a park named after you. This might be a cool thing to do. The Joe and Frank, the Joe, the Joe, San Diego, Frank Alvarez, Park of Fun. No, not kidding. We're going to work on the name and also. I think park of, or fun park. Right. You putting up zero dollars is like a little blemish on this idea that you have here.
Starting point is 01:08:53 I feel like you and I can both put up zero dollars, though, and we can get it done. For what, and then what? So we're putting our names on the park and not doing anything? Yeah. It's not our job. You have to donate money or the land. All right. How much money?
Starting point is 01:09:06 I have to donate the land. If you own the land, you could subsidize a substantial piece of land. How much to get a plaque at this part? How much to get? I'm just thinking like, we could, say it's a couple hundred bucks. I'm doing it. It's 100% not a couple hundred bucks. Why not?
Starting point is 01:09:21 Because everyone would do it. But you need to be someone. They need to accept your $100. I don't think that's true. It's a donation. They'd be like, oh my God, like this was their park. And people would go and they'd be like, look, this is their park. It's tough to find an exact number.
Starting point is 01:09:36 Yeah. But for a plaque on a park bench, $10,000. $10,000. Park bench, why? So some fucking kids could come and drink 40s on me? No thanks. Actually, it sounds pretty cool. What would you like?
Starting point is 01:09:48 Where do you want it to be on the entrance of the park? Let's see, Frank Alvarez Park. Frank Alvarez, Joe Sanagado, Park of Fun. right you know this is where they some subtext they didn't contribute but they contributed with the amount of fun they had at this park during their life
Starting point is 01:10:07 that is some delusion you're living in right now I don't think it's a delusion I think that it's something that I thought of and now I want it you're in it for recognition to me right I've thought of it so now it's owed to me you're in it for the recognition but you would like the park to not I would like to
Starting point is 01:10:24 do no work right have no responsibility right and be given exactly what I'm asking for. Got it. I don't think that's a big ask. Yeah, I mean, I'm looking here to get a bench or a tree named after you, it's in between 5 and 10,000 or sometimes
Starting point is 01:10:39 more. So the whole entire park I can't, I can't imagine it's quite a bit. I mean, but this is a small park in a story. If you could rename that park. The Joe Sanagato and Frank Alvarez Park of Fun. And that costs $10,000. Would you put $5,000
Starting point is 01:10:56 towards that? I think, there is uh that's a yes or no I think um uh sure can I get my name I know you know what you know it's never gonna happen so so sure yeah I would I mean maybe he said my name on there no sorry we grew up going to this park you're not a you were never at that park with us then I'll pay 5,001 get your name off it well could happen you're you're a little snake you're a slimy snake today you want to play that game oh yeah go play that game with Joey
Starting point is 01:11:29 go ahead I got my look who I got in my corner bitch 5,0001 yeah just the problem just do me a favor
Starting point is 01:11:36 just do me a favor if they ever offered a name that park after you just be like it's us who the park department the New York City Department of Parks
Starting point is 01:11:44 they're not going to come to me and say hey man how do you know dude we have fans everywhere we're very kind and lucky but like what if they did no
Starting point is 01:11:55 I'd rather be named 48th Street Park. And not Paul Ramunda, whoever that is. It's probably a nice gentleman who donated a bunch of money, but regardless. I mean, you probably donated the money in the 70s, so he paid like $40 to get his name on the flag. Fucking way to go. It's not 10 racks anymore, Paul. Give us the park. Give us the Paul. What? Huh? Give us the park, Paul. Yeah. All right. Well, there you have it, folks. That's all we have for this week's episode, Frank. Where can they find you? All over the socials. You know where to find me on the block disobeying the law. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Yeah, and the Frank Alvers everywhere. And then go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. If you want to come to any shows, the basemanyard.com, look for the shows, see what's available, see if you can come. And then if you're coming to any of those shows, go to the basemeyer.com slash submit, baby.
Starting point is 01:12:41 Submit, the exact same thing that Aunt loves doing every single night. Well, you guys are going to follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time. Thank you.

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