The Basement Yard - #524 - Rhett & Link Are Here!

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Me and Frank are sitting next to each other today, and it's not because we like each other more than we actually do. Which could be true. We don't know. No, wait. I'm very confused. That's a weird place to start. Let's start again.

We're sitting next to each other because we have a special guest today, or two special guests. Make some noise. There's no one here for Rhett and Link, everybody. This is gonna be an interesting dynamic because you guys are now not looking at each other. I know. So this is a thing that we run into,

especially with Link, he doesn't have peripheral vision because of his glasses. Can't see him at all right now. I still can't see him, I still can't see him, and now I still can't see him. And he also has, I can see him now. He doesn't know when other people are talking a lot of times. So he'll just start talking.

And he needs a visual cue. And he is me. What? Now I'm confused of what? What's going on. Thanks for letting us use your desk. Yeah. No problem.

Be very careful. I'm just saying this is going to make it worse. I'm going to see how this works for you guys. I mean, I think it might work for the better of the episode on our end because normally I want to jump over and strangle him. I think I have the opportunity to do it now if I really need to. Yeah, he can't go away. It's more of a gentle reach and strangle. Yeah.

It's just like one of these instead of a, like if I got to get up and move, that's a lot of energy to put into physically harming him. Which he could do, which he will be sued if he does do that. If he does do that. Who are you going to sue your own company? Do it. Bitch. I feel like we are like duly newscaster. Yeah, right.

We're going to throw it over to weather. Yeah. You guys are the newscasters. But we were in at your. This is what I was actually worried about here. This is what I was actually worried about here. I didn't even plan on that. It just happened.

Yeah. That was beautiful. We'll see what else happens. Your body just did it out of nowhere. We were in. Don't talk to us. Wow. Okay.

There you go. He has very sweaty hands. I do. You're a clammy guy? So clam. I have been. Who do you think? You're pretty clammy.

Honestly, you touched me and it was a little wet. Well, I just washed my hands. That could be it. When I was in high school, my dad got me a prescription to something called dry saw, which was,

he was like, we've got to put something on your hands because of basketball. You got to be able to catch that basketball. Why, you were dropping the ball, you turned the bowl over a lot? Well, I wasn't. Dude, your dad told you you suck that basketball.

I was actually pretty good. I was good at basketball. That's the thing, I was insulted by it. He was blaming your hands. Maybe I was like, I'm a little bit worried about how sweaty my hands get. So we got some dry saw, but I don't use that anymore. It still is on the market and-

It's a thing? It is our- Well, now there's that other product. I'm not a spokesperson for us, I'm not gonna mention it. Gloves smart. But they're not, my hands are not nearly as bad as they were in high school. That's not a bad.

Lick it. Yeah, look it. It's as if it's already been licked. No, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. It really isn't that bad. Yeah, I mean, if you're, if you're, like, having to, like, your father is giving you a product to deal with something, you might need to admit it might be a little, a little bad. It was very bad.

Is it like a powder? What is it? No, it was a, it was a liquid. I think it was just alcohol. Got it. I think it was just alcohol that you had to get a prescription for. Nice. Oh, that's kind of cool.

I didn't grow up with my father. Yeah. Oh. So no one told you that you had disgusting hands either. No, I have the driest hands in the world. Oh. That's why you guys work so well He's wet, you're dry

Yeah, it's a Jack Spratt type thing There's got to be like a correlation between Like a father's love and just like abnormally dry hands Or something like that Because I had Yeah, some of his love But I had pretty wet hands too So maybe you mind that.

Are you saying that dads have dry hands or? He's saying that the more your dad actively loves you, the wetter your hands get I would say so, yeah Your body feels more expressive to excrete whatever. I feel that. You do, right? I feel like my dad loves me a little bit less than he did when I was a child,

and so my hands are a little bit more. They're drying up. Yeah, they're drying up of his love. Right. Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. Now we know why people have wet hands and dry hands. When it comes to, like, parent stuff, we're interesting on here because we openly talk about really needing the love of our dads.

so forgive us if uh actually you brought it up you struck the cord you're yeah i was trying to tee it up while we're talking about while we're talking about family i didn't think i was going to mention this i speaking of my dad i had a dream last night this is good yes about my grandmother his mom momanel who has been no long no longer with us for like 20 years so it's okay it's not too soon very mom andel if you're watching she has been no longer with us yeah I was at my parents old house the house that I grew up in mom and Elle was there she choked and I had to give her the heimlich and she did nothing she died it didn't come you killed your grandma no no she died of choking but I couldn't solve it and I was listen

and she was like frail woman she was so little and I thought I was gonna break her and I was like giving her the heimlich and then my brother I'm I'm yelling call dad mom and Elle's choking and then my dad's like mom and ill's choking He's like making fun of me from across the house. So, yeah, she's choking. So wait, she died in your arms. Does she go limp? I, she just, yeah, and then I just, like, sit her down and then.

Oh, you gave up. Yeah, I was, I did. I did. I was like, and just me and my mom standing there. It was a horrible. I wanted to start the podcast on a positive note. No, this is a great note. You set her down and she was just sitting in like a chair and she's just.

Yes. I went. She's gone. I imagine not like that. And then I was thinking, I'm not going to get charged with something like because if you can't save somebody, I mean, I was in a dream state, you know. So your grandma dies and your first thought is, am I going to get in trouble? Yeah.

Yeah. What's going to happen? Yeah, that is a complex. I knew this. She's been dead for 20 years. I'm going to Mexico. So, so something you might not know about us. We are dream experts.

Self-appointed. Great. A big part of this is obviously going to be what she was eating. What did she choke on? Because that is very symbolic of maybe some guilt that you carry with you in your very, very non-dry hands. Okay. I thought she only ate corn liquor. It was like a country song. She had like a liquid diet of. That might have been whiskey. She was a whiskey lady. She wasn't choking on whiskey. My grandma was a Manhattan lady. Yeah. My grandmother was a say it pills lady

in terms of she needed them to remember anything right yeah yeah well mamma knell would drink whiskey every night then she would take her teeth out for us me and my brother she would be like you want me to take my teeth out and she'd take them out and then she talked with her teeth out and it was the most entertaining thing i've ever experienced that sounds awesome now you go to bed um she you kind of go to bed i don't come out i don't remember that's a pretty good impression

did you know mama l i'm at mama now yeah mom andel excuse me Is that the best impression? Did you just call her Mama Hell? L. Okay, right. Like, we don't know where she's at, okay? I'm not making any assumptions, but. It was like the whole teeth or does she take like a couple like a hockey player? The whole thing.

She was gums. Do they really put them in like a glass of water like you see in movies? She put them in the whiskey. Oh, that's pretty smart. Got to let these marinate overnight. So she can get a little drink around when she wakes up. First thing in the morning, boy. Yeah, got to see.

Suck it off. So answer their client, do you know what? They're trying to interpret your dream. What did she eat? I came into the kitchen late. But this is all related to a real-life event where during Christmas dinner one year, I told you about this, he choked at the table. And she choked in front of everybody.

And my family, we're not really quick to intervene. We like, work this out on the room. Yeah, you got it. You know, we're like, we'll give you a second. You're starting to ruin dinner, so figure it out. Exactly. We were all having a good time, and you're choking. All right, the floor is yours.

Go ahead. And she choked, and then she spit it onto her place. And it was Christmas dinner. It was probably ham. So I think this was a regurgitation, if you will, of that memory. So it's probably ham. Wow. Okay.

Have you ever given someone the heimlich and, like, save a life? Nope. You're a big dude. If you gave someone the heimlich, especially Mama Nell. Yes. You're supposed to break a rip. Her rib cage is a,

it's a rack. Well, have you seen the thing on TikTok? To suck back. Yeah, I got one. You got one? I got one. Yeah, because I saw it happened to the situation. What is that mean?

The situation. Oh, from Jersey Shore. Yeah, yeah. He fucking, he saw the product. He got it. And it fucking, his kid was choking. And it saved his kid's life. I was like buy five of these things because they're like yeah single loaded shot like

cartridges so yeah so it comes with like it looks like a plunger and then in there are little mouthpieces and that each one is like a single shot so we have a couple at the house you ever one on your person not all my person you're at home with the kids why my what's the point of my wife is with the kids right now if I bring in it with me she's to be like why I start choking right there yeah I got you but I don't think it'll work over facial hair because I don't think you can get a tight seal. I need more, I cannot visualize this thing yet. You're saying someone's choking, you have to pick the right mouthpiece to put on it.

Yeah, I mean, listen, it's not perfect technology, but if it worked on the situations kid, I like to think it worked on someone that I know. It makes a seal on the mouth, and then you pull something back. Yeah, it'll suck whatever's in your throat out. Yeah. Like whatever you're choking. Way better than the high one. It's like a reverse super soak.

See, I imagine it would be like a plunger. like I would just in and out because either the food is coming out or it's going do that again or it's going is you're either pushing it deeper I'm pushing it deeper I mean is that not if yeah if it goes to the bottom of the lungs they'll be fine well wait hold on this is a serious question if you ask that question I'm going to kick you out when you choke on food it gets stuck in your lungs or just in your throat that was a question no if it goes in your lungs you don't die immediately, but if they don't do emergency surgery, you will die a couple of days

later. Oh, we got days. Let me recant my judgment. That's possible? Something can get in your lungs like that? Yeah, if food gets into your lungs, it causes a aspiration. Yeah. This happened on the, the only reason I know this is because it was just on an episode of

Pit. The Pit. Yeah. Everyone loves that show. I haven't watched it. I have no idea. I don't. I mean. You don't like medical shows? Uh-uh. Every, everyone was into it, so I felt like I needed to watch it, but then I was like, you guys just tricked me into watching another medical drama. I can't watch those shows and think any of it is real. You should hit that, you should hit yourself with that thing, just for fun. I mean, I don't want to. I'm going to save it for like, God forbid. Like, we need it on one of the kids. Yeah. That seems. But you should know how to use it.

Well, it comes with like a little card and with like pictures on it. And you've read the card already? I've seen it. I've seen that the card is there. You should test it on one of the neighbor's kids. It's kind of like a taser. You got to make sure that it works. You've got to get tased in order to understand the power of the taser. So then you've got to... It's a pretty good point, honestly. Suck back yourself.

It's called life back, by the way. Free plug for them, by the way. Are you doing the long cuts on your hot dogs? Listen, my friend, hot dogs don't last long enough to be cut in my house, okay? There's a hot dog about... A long cut. Well, a hot dog is the perfect shape to get stuck in a child's throat, and then that's it. See, this is, I got to, I'm going to, it's a good little trick of the train.

I'm going to be really honest with something. It's like we're talking into our future selves. Like you seem like, you have the information that we need. Like, we love hot dogs. Right. We're big hot dog fan. So now as you're presenting us with a more responsible way of eating hot dogs, which the responsible way to eat hot dogs is to not because apparently they're not good for you.

Right. That's what we need. Yeah. That's the information that we need here. So you like, you spatchcocked this thing? I don't do this anymore. My kids are past the choking stage. Got it.

At least in that form. And so basically you cut them long like this, and then now you have basically this. You can't choke on this because air gets through that side. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Oh, you make like a, got it. Yeah.

When you put that in your mouth. Well, they're going to clip that. Yeah. That's immediately gone. You saw. There's no way I could choke doing what I just did. I don't, I hope I wasn't in it. So what would be, I think I was smiling.

What would be the, I think I was looking at him and his smile. Hold his back and his hair back when he does it next time. Okay. So you think that we are older future use. That would be nice. I would love if that ends up working out for us. Yeah, I think I like this. I mean, looks wise.

Let's just, let's start there. Right. Yeah, right. Let's start there. All right. We already have established. Momoa. Oh, God.

Momoa all day, every day. Yep, right. All right. And I mean, it just works. And it's not like we're making this up. Yeah. The universe provided us with this. It's said to us all the time.

Now there's two. I mean, it just, it works. And then, I mean, you guys, you got, you got the salt and pepper going on, which is working very well for you. Uh-huh, yep. You're lean, okay. Yeah. You wear glasses.

I just got new glasses today. See? Oh, yeah. did and it just it feels like like Joey loves wearing things like patterns and stuff like that that are like right now you're wearing this so it makes sense so like if this is what we have to look forward to very happy yes right also very successful yeah take that as a trajectory you know what else do you guys need to know besides yeah hot dog cutting though that's it Oh, a lot of, a lot of what we are known for is our passion for hot dogs, our enjoyment of hot dogs.

You got any other adjectives? The intensity and fervor at which we consume them. Fervor. Yep. That's a good one. I bet you didn't think we were going to say that. I am surprised. You guys cool with hot dogs?

I love hot dogs. My wife has never eaten a hot dog. Yeah. Divorce her. Now she's young. She's really young. Why? She's older than me.

She's never eaten a hot dog. My glasses are fogging up. It's a little toast. Now, if you're going to start wearing glasses, they will fog up. I feel like I need to defend your wife in this situation because when you say my wife has never eaten a hot dog. She's just been against it.

It might be like, oh, she's like super picky and she feels like she's a, but, no, like me and his wife have like very similar tapes. Her name is across the board. Let's call her by her name. Let's just call her wife. Thank you. Um, but yeah, this one thing, she just, somebody told her a story about what was in a hot dog when she was a kid.

I'm a super picky eater, but she is not. She embraces everything except hot dogs because it's, she always knew that it's, there's disturbing things link lurking in there. Yeah. Oh, of course. Yeah. See, I was older when I got that and it was already too late. Yeah, too late. Had I been debriefed at four, I probably wouldn't love them. Right. I'll be honest. It had the opposite effect on me. I found out about the questionable things in it. made me more excited I thought I'd be like patient zero they'd be like well it didn't mess him up now you're just making a point like no they are healthy yeah yeah yeah I will continue to eat

these and be fine absolutely but we fully commit to hot dogs here I can't believe like and you've tried to like offer like here try this hot dog well he's not much of a hot dog guy I was gonna I'm the last person to force any food on anybody what's like one food that you're like because he does that to me all the time and I'm like I don't want to do that anybody else right what's what's what are some food that? that you're like absolutely not. Olives. Come on.

I don't like them either. What are my favorite foods? Hot dogs and olives, dude. We're right here. I don't like them. What else you got? Okay. Yeah.

Tuna fish. I feel like tuna fish. That's pretty much it. But I don't really like tomatoes. I can eat tuna and raw. Tomatoes. No tomatoes. No cherry tomatoes.

No tomato. He said he literally specified. No tomatoes. No raw tomatoes. I'm like, hold no. Airloom? Yeah. I like, you're getting the bad ones.

Yeah. Like I get the big slices of tomato. They're a little annoying, but like a cherry tomato. Yeah. Tomato adjacent products. Ketchup. Marinera sauce. All that's good.

Oh, I was going to say it. And I'll drink a V8 on a plane. That's insane. What? A V8? I don't know. Something about... A V8 is crazy.

That's like a 90-year-old drink. Right. I would never, I would never ever have a V8, but then on a plane. It's just... Yeah. Your taste changed. I got to tell you. Does it really? Because we were just talking about that we took when we were in Columbus, we got there and we were just like, for some reason on planes, people just drink straight up V8. And they're like maybe it's like a Bloody Mary thing. No, your taste change at that altitude. Yeah. See, this is why like we need this information. Now you know. We would have assumed this and ran with it as if it was absolute fact. But now we're just going to take your word on it. They actually flavored the food differently to anticipate that change. It's also one of the reasons.

that ginger ale is so popular all in planes? Are you lying? Because I, like, this is dangerous what you're doing. No, it's not. You're saying with such conviction. I think it's dangerous to ask because I learned to not ask years ago because my world would just repeatedly crumble. Yeah.

In middle school, I remember one day I showed up at the lunch table and then Rhett starts to talk. He's like, he's doing something like this. And then he's eating. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm activating the molecules in my food. Hell yeah. It tastes better if you shake it.

You know what? You guys are very alike because that does sound like something he would do. And I got a lot of people in the cafeteria to do it. Now, I knew that that was bullshit. You're walking in. But you just wanted to see if you could. Yeah, yeah. Incredible.

Everything I've said up to this point is true as far as I know it. But if I begin lying, it will sound exactly like the truth. You're a big. fan of gaslighting is what i'm gathering here uh for fun yeah right then it's not technically gaslighting if it's for fun it's pranks yeah yeah i i don't do it for i don't emotionally manipulate people the only reason he's glad to have children is because it's it's more people to lie to right i've told so many lies of my kids are you are you lying to your children oh my god i love it yeah it's the best it's it's such a it's a foundational part of being a parent is you need to lie to them

because then if they figure it out on their own you're done you're screwed you've lost what's like the biggest lie because I like I think I don't have any children but I would think that I would make up like really good ones like I would tell my kids that I invented the moon and shit like yeah those are those are good ones like toothpicks used to be

12 inches why would that one I mean I like it because I'll use it right because it's meaningless because it doesn't I mean if they repeat it it's hilarious there's just more fun to be had yeah it's true I mean you just don't want

to start lying in order to, like, change their behavior. Right. Like, you know, Santa's watching. Yeah. Yeah. Or worse. You don't want to do that. Yeah, who would do that? But, like, in consequence.

All humans are born with six fingers on their left hand, but then they eat it right before they're born. That's a good one. That's a good one. I did. We were, like, trying our youngest to, like, potty train her right now. The best one that we got going right now is a monster will eat your butt. Like, if you don't let us change your diaper, you'll get a monster in your butt, and it'll eat you.

That's good. And were there follow-up questions from your... What is they to ask? I mean, no, she, maybe is very inquisitive. She asks why, how, when. That's the scary one. She's a journalist. My questions are, how did you get there?

How did you get? And why did you use the phrase, eat? your butt that's what I want to know as well because it's just you know the the diaper is a an all-encompassing prison around you know like that's how she feels so I'm like all right yep how can I make her feel more comfortable I let her believe that there will be a monster and then who's gonna save the day daddy right daddy will say they or mommy wait so what is what are you trying to accomplish get her afraid of not changing her diaper oh and then she

So you're saying if she poops in her diaper, that is attracting the monster. It is. No, it's making a monster. There's monsters. Yeah, yeah. It is monsters. It's like an episode of goosebumps. You know, put it like that. It's like a monster sludge. I've never seen that episode. I still not. I still don't understand. We all have. It's it's like the idea of like we all have two bears in us, you know, like the bear that we feed and the bear that, you know, we don't feed and like what. Yes. Manifests. We all have poop monsters in us. Yeah. Are you allowing the poop monster to take control of you?

Or are you getting rid of that poop monster? Yeah. Before. Got it. So, okay. Really? Because the poop is the monster? And it is the reason for the monster.

The reason for the monster. Yeah. It's like a primordial soup. Yeah. What's feeding it is what it is. Now I don't know. I mean, it is a classic Grecian, you know, tragedy of our own hubris. You know, we give way.

to what is eventually going to be our downfall. Yeah. Now you've got them going. Listen, we have told ourselves stories as a society for millennia. So many years. In order to control our behavior. Yeah. We've made things up that probably aren't real in order to make sure we do the right things.

You're just following in the tradition of humanity. Who am I, if not a part of this folklore history that we have had as a human race? Yeah. So this is your like, Greek mythology. This is exactly what that is. You know, I mean, what is the difference between the gods of the Greek pantheon and a poop monster? Really, nothing. I don't think so. You don't know that for sure. I think we know it with a good amount of confidence. All right, before we continue with this lovely episode of the Basemeyer, we do have some sponsors. The first one

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I'm still concerned about It's Maeve? Yes, maybe. Mave, I mean, I mean, whenever she has a B.M. If I may. Yep. I mean, is she screaming in terror? No.

She will. I mean, if she does, we'll handle it then. You know how it is. Whatever works at the moment as a parent. Daddy will slay the poop monster at that point. Exactly. He'll never be back. Exactly.

It's like the riddler. Yeah, okay. Now we're, this is an exception of. Mm-hmm. The Ridler can create the crime and then be there to clean up the pieces and people are like, oh my God, the riddler is kind of not a bad guy anymore, guys. He saved the day. Create the issue with the poop monster. So then if it comes up, she gets a little freaked out.

Yeah. Who's going to save it? Daddy. So I think the lesson that I'm learning here as someone who's not a father yet is traumatize them so that you can be the hero. in that story. Yes. Got it. Is there nothing more...

Parenting. Is there nothing more noble and selfless? Right. True. Because they need that. They need a hero. I know that you're lying to your kids all the time. I don't know if you remember any of it.

It's been so many years at this point, you know? So many years of lying. I mean, my youngest child is now 17 years old. That's how old I am. That's crazy. Good for you. Yeah, at a certain point, the table's turning. They start lying to us.

Now they just lie to me. Yeah. But I can tell. I can tell now. They're paying you back. Yeah, I can see. Do you get mad at those lies, or are you just like, nice try? But Daddy knows best.

I'm mostly amused by them. Like, I'm not going to give the specifics of this story, which may make it much less funny to tell. So I'll make it very short. But, well, you're choosing to protect some privacy instead of going to entertainment. When he was 15, we knew that he had done something. he made up a lie, but the lie he made up was like five times worse than the thing that we knew he had done. I did that. And then when I found out what he, I was like, I know that you're lying about this.

But just so you understand, the lie that you made up is worse than the thing that you actually did. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Quite noble of him. So we just had a conversation about if you're going to lie, let's learn how to do it. Yeah, like it's supposed to be less, you know, he's done that before there's just. story we've told on this podcast before where he was it a new cell phone uh yes he got a brand new cell phone and he drank a lot of coca cola before bed oh yeah so he ended up peeing the bed

breaking the phone so you peed on the phone oh yeah he peed everywhere not just the phone well he got everything yeah it was collateral damage at that point wow but then his dad was very upset so he's like i got to think of something i can't tell him that i peed the bed because i drank of his Coca-Cola, so instead, he inferred that he had a wet dream. He upgraded to the worst-the-wettest dream that's ever existed. Dad, I came on the phone. Yeah, that's exactly what. I came so much on the phone that it broke.

Well, I was, like, there's no way, like, in the same way that you're like, I'm just, like, choosing to believe their story of playing along. What is going through your dad's head in that moment? I mean, I knew my dad was pissed because I was, what, we were, we were 13 at the time. It was a brand new Next Hill, and I know it was expensive. And I know, it was like a chore just to get the phone as it was. Right. So in my head, I'm thinking, all right, I know he's upset because there's stains everywhere.

Because I slept on, like, on like a little like Matt, and he was, it was just part of it was like on the mat, it was, it was a weird. Divorce parents. And I was thinking like, all right, I know my dad really wants to be included in like the whole like me growing up and sharing with him. And like being a being a like dad, I'm going to tell you another like relatable guy thing. So he could just be like, you know what? I know what this is like. Don't worry about it.

You came on your phone for him. I did. To be closer to dad. Well, well done, son. It's quite a lot of confidence. Oh, my God. He was pissed. I remember he was sitting down.

He didn't mention, like, that he was like, he didn't go, what? No, you didn't. So he was sitting down with a blow dryer. Drying, drying the mat. It's going to get hard. Yeah. If it's what you're saying it is.

Dad, I wouldn't do that, dad. This is my dad in 2005. Freshly quit smoking cigarettes. Oh, he's stressed. He's stressed for several reasons. Oh, my God. And I told, and I'm like, you know, I explained, you know, the, the story you told. And he just goes, no.

Nope. He instantly called it. He immediately called my bluff. And I just, at that point, I had to double and triple down on it. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, if it when he sees this, he'll know. Or if he already knows, he probably are.

Seems like he knew. Oh, wow, you haven't cleared it up with him. No, no, no, no. No, you didn't, Frank. No, you didn't. Yeah. Yeah, but it was, you know, in that moment, I was thinking more of him than I was of myself. Yeah, it was almost.

More heroic acts. Now, have you peed the bed as adult men? No. Funny you say that. Within the last 365 days, I have peed my pants. Paints? In the middle? Shorts.

I was in bed, and I was having a dream that I was peeing. this has happened before but like and then when I woke up I was like I peeing and then I look and like

I didn't full fully pee I had more pee but there was it was not a couple drops that happened to me this year the tube

I was able to use my muscles I didn't physically put a clothespin on it but I woke up and I was like oh my God I'm peeing yep same thing happened to me

this year yep at a fancy hotel pee is fancy hotel That's the time to pee, though. Was it a full? It wasn't a full release, but it was enough to leave my pants and get onto the bed. That's a lot.

But Link did it at his mom's house. At his mom's house. Yeah. As an adult? Yeah, it was like a couple years, three years ago, maybe. Yeah. I was in the bed at my mom's house with Chris. your wife and and I just we got that part yeah I woke up woke up peeing woke up

peeing did wait you full peed full and your wife was like what he wouldn't well she didn't wake up immediately and so like then I I had to do a I had to do a manual pinch yeah well yeah system override yeah certain point override yeah exactly yeah right there so I and then I'm like I'm getting out of bed and I'm running to the bathroom and there was more so I guess it wasn't full but it was a lot

you're about 80% through it was enough where were you on the bill curve though you know what I'm talking were you like in the middle or were you like coming down I think I was like right at the peak because there was still some pressure

when I got to the toilet and then when I turned around and went back to the bedroom like all the way down the hallway there was just like oh you had leaked drippy drips just like puddle Did you pee through your knuckles?

What does that even mean? I was using my fingertips. I asked a question. Do you think that he was going like this? Yeah, yeah, this is a hard for technique. I wasn't grabbing it like a. And then P could get through. Yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah. I don't know what he's got working with over there. That's more disrespectful than anything. Right. Okay. I see what you're saying. Just grab the bottom. You just figured a pinch wasn't enough.

That's it. Well, no, I'm just saying like there's different ways. Listen. It requires two hands. I mean, some of us. Some of us You would grab it like an eagle You know what you say?

It's like I captured a bird Yeah It's not like opening a doorknob So like so what was the Did your mom find out? Well Christy I got I like laid down up

I was like I'm gonna deal with this in the morning I like put down a towel Oh yeah And then I just lay back down on the towel And then when like a couple hours later When she rolls over and she was just like Why is there a towel here And she was like

dad I had an amazing wet dream I was so confused and you did that for her yeah that was smart yeah that was but yeah I ended up telling my mom that we were going to need to do some full full laundry we're going to have to go all away mom

so that you know she probably liked that it's like oh it's just like you're young again you know you're in the room and you're pissing yourself yeah right yeah it was very special just like old times yeah you've never you haven't pissed recently no I'm afraid of like when you said like you told us recently you slept naked and like that's a reason I'm afraid

because like if I am I really haven't peed the bed and I couldn't even tell you when but if I'm at least if I'm at least clothed I know that there's like a barrier a bit of a barrier you know what I mean like before you get to like unleash the hounds like you know they have to get through a couple rounds of I don't think the fact that you're wearing

shorts to bed is the reason why you're not pissing your bed what are the rubber shorts that's a good point honestly and also we don't know because we don't know what would happen if the inverse happened what's Schrodinger's cat yeah if you were naked you think you would pee if you were naked I think because you know you wouldn't have a barrier you'd be less likely to pee yourself well I'm not peeing myself now and nothing is less likely than it when it doesn't happen that's true wow if you like

but 75% of the men right here have done this as an adult yeah and chances are you will join I can guarantee that a hundred seventy, yep, 175 more time, one more time. I can guarantee you that of that 75, a hundred percent of them have slept naked more frequently than I have because zero would be. No, because I don't sleep naked. You have, I don't know if you guys have, but I think it's a safe assumption to say that you probably do at some point. Not regularly, but yes. It's, it happens.

I'm sure it happens. Let's get, you seem like a confident man. Have you pissed the bed recently? Recently, no. As an adult. As an adult, I have. Okay. You have it.

I have. And were you dreaming that you were peeing? I think that's how it always goes. Yeah. Like, I woke up, pissed in the, no! And then. Yeah. You were also.

Yeah. I scared everyone in the house. That's how it goes. It's like woke up like Ebeneuser Scroo. No! We told that story on our podcast and I was, in the context, and I was in the context, of like I felt bad about the fact that I did it in a hotel bed but we were also checking out that day yeah and I was like they probably deal with all kinds of

stuff in the bed and then a woman who works in hotels like called in and she was like yes like wet beds for for whatever reason are very common it's a very common thing they don't think twice about it if I think about a hotel bed I'm like yeah let's not I think I well yeah I but I think I know why it's it's more of like a like standing up to the authority. You know what I'm saying? Like, peeing in a hotel room. Yeah.

More time. What does that mean? There's something about a hotel room that just, it is like the poster child of capitalism. Yeah. So, like, if you're in, like, a nice hotel and, like, you treat it a little poor, like, you're like, I'm one of the people.

Like, I'm kind of doing this for. Piss in the bed, break a lamp. Yeah. Steal soap. Yeah. That kind of stuff. Yeah. You seem like a guy who takes.

the conditioner. Oh, yes. Yeah. What about the hairdroar? Just take that. No, no, no, no, no. They're typically not great. Yeah. They're whispering at you. My mentality is if I'm paying for it, I'm taking it. Yeah. I'm not paying for like the appliances, but I'm paying for the soaps, chocolates. I've never eaten a single chocolate in a hotel room, but I've taken them all. Did you take in the hotel we stayed at like two days ago, there was a bottle of wine. Did you take that? Yeah. Absolutely. It was cool. They gave us a bottle of wine. and some popcorn. I had a little bit of each of the popcorn. I opened the wine. I had a glass of wine. Oh, so you had it there. Yeah. You didn't like. Oh, I thought you took it with you.

Decan. Oh, no. I left it there. I didn't, I didn't bring it home and decant it. But like in theory, if I consumed it, I am taking it with me. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Spirit. In spirit. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, am I wonderful. Is that wrong too? No, it's beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful. One thing I wanted to talk about with you with you guys is that do you guys sort of of recognize that you are treated as this like oh geez youtube royalty um because you've been doing it when was the first time you guys put out like a youtube video together oh six that's that's what i was coming on my phone yeah you wish you wish you were yeah yeah we've we've been through a lot of phases and so like i mean good mythical morning was only the past almost 13 years but like there

were so many is that all 13 yeah yeah but then there's like yeah we feel like we've lived a couple of youtube lifetimes yeah we're really glad to still be here it's crazy i mean it's since oh six is wild is that do we're were you guys doing it separately or it was always together always together yeah oh wow yeah came up together first grade you know when it's parallel lives yeah we pretty much went through everything I mean though I got married a year before him and that we we recently realized that the only time in our lives when it wasn't completely parallel like you know always grew up doing the you know we were best friends growing up we went to college we were roommates in college

together and then when I got married I moved out I was like I'm gonna move him on with my wife now yeah I'm going to leave, I'm going to leave you, friend. Did you guys cry? No. Don't believe so. I let him keep the couch. Right.

You know, so. Mr. Fly? I felt like that was good enough. Well, there was a rat that was living in the couch at the time. Yeah, I'm going to let you keep that. It was a rat living in the couch. Yeah, we discovered that later, yeah. Was it, did you guys pee on that couch?

Never the rat. Never peed on the couch. Did a lot of stuff. I'm sure the rat pissed on that thing. Well, okay, well, so there was, we had her, um, another roommate, Tim, who shall remain nameless. Gotcha. And he was, he was just a dirty dude. Nice.

We're still friends with him. Is he still dirty? I think he's still really dirty. You know someone's going to scour every, everything to find who this person is. He brought, he brought all the candy that he got from trick-or-treating or something. Nice. You guys have an apartment together and he's trick-or-treating? Yeah, junior year in college, he's like, I got all of this.

He just put trick-or-treating. I got all of this candy, and he just left it in the living room on the floor. And we were like, you know what? We are not cleaning up after 10. We're going to leave this candy on the floor. We made that face of everything. And we're going to make him, he's going to clean up his own candy. And to his credit, you know, slowly over time, he started cleaning up the candy.

Does that mean eating it? He was like picking it and cleaning up. I don't know. It's like, I'll give him credit. One piece at a time, he's kind of picking it up, you know? And then, this is interesting, this approach. It was all gone. Well, but there was a couple of moments there in the middle where he would eat like part of a piece of the candy and just leave it on the floor.

Like a piece, like take a bite out of a tosy roll and then leave it. Like, oh, I don't like this. Yeah. And I was like, on the, unlike the, yeah. I was like, what is happening? But we didn't talk about it. And I'm not buying this. I could, I can smell the, the, the, the, the, the, I can smell the nonsense here.

find it keep going so candy gets gone one day I get home we've forgotten about the candy and I open the front door and there is the apartment pellet gun which we have one of these yeah and it was propped up by the 90s North Carolina it was propped up by the you had a pellet gun in your apartment it would they some roommates not me would shoot rabbits out of the bedroom window that's not true boys that was it wasn't it wasn't me and it wasn't red we would never do that and it we and you have no idea who it was it was our other roommate there it is yeah right yeah it definitely wasn't us so pellet gun was propped up and it had a note on it like a posted note nobody at home i like pick up the pellet gun i look at the postage note and

it says there is a rat in the apartment If you see it, shoot it. And so I just put the, I just put the pellet going right now. I was like, what? In my handwriting, you recognize my handwriting. So what happened at that point? So this is what happened. So I'm home alone.

Earlier that day. Doing the laundry. And of course, it's one of these like college apartments where the washer and the dryer are in the kitchen, you know. And so I'm like doing the laundry. And then I see movement out of the corner of my, I turn and there is a rat coming out from underneath the fridge. It is so big that it's having to, like, extricate itself out.

Like doing an army crawl. And it just kind of comes out and just looks at me. And it's not even frightened. I would say this long before the tail started. Get the fuck out of here. That's a raccoon. So that long with the tail? Oh.

And so I immediately do what any normal man would do. I grabbed a gun. I grabbed the nearest pellet gun. And I think I'm going to be able to get a shot off because it was just standing in the middle of the kitchen. But by the time, I had to go to wherever that gun was, a living room, whatever. And then I come back and he's moving into the dining room.

And then I'm like, okay, he's behind this piece of furniture. He disappears behind a piece of furniture. And then we see there's like a little hole. in the wall there. So, realize we had a rat, and that's what was happening with the candy.

Yeah. Eating half a tootsie roll. Of course it wasn't Tim. He had built a nest in the couch with all of these pixie sticks and tootsie rolls. It's a pretty sick.

It's a pretty good setup. We pull the couch out to see where he's going to the wall, and it was like, whoa, no, no, no. He's going in the... There's rat shit everywhere behind the couch.

Oh my God. It was, It's like, Tim. How did you guys get out of there without diseases? So here's the thing. Oh, we didn't. The story progresses to the point where a couple of days later, like we didn't do the thing that you're supposed to do,

which is just call a professional. Because we're just in college, we're not paying for anything, right? It's like, we will handle this. Two or three days later, I'm in the kitchen. I come home into the kitchen and I see there's a mouse, not a rat, a dead mouse in the middle of the kitchen, right where I had made first contact with the rat. And it was as if he was saying, look what I'm doing for you guys.

Hell yeah. I'm killing the smaller versions of me. I fucking sacrifice. Keep me around. He stood there like, you guys had like this is my place now. And then when he saw you were going for the gun, he was just like, I'll be back. All right. You know I'm here.

It's a mutual respect thing. I'll prove my worth. Yeah. So we were like, okay, maybe we keep him around. We were in the process of moving out. and we later we never solved the rat problem when we went back to deal with the

like the lady at the the administration where we were not getting any of our deposit back because of what we had done to the apartment and we were arguing with her about that we saw our neighbors that we shared a wall with just some other college guys

and they were like hey guys we had talked to them about the rat they were like we caught the rat we caught the rat in a trap and he got out of the trap they used a raccoon trap he got out of the trap and then they called him again

and they took him to the front desk and they just set him on the front desk hell yeah that's how his story ends as far as I know it yeah are you sure 20 pound rat are you sure that's how it ends you guys didn't like

take the rat and like you know it was outside of my domain at that point it was the neighbors yeah there's always room for a sequel but yeah I don't do well with that dude Bring in the rats. He's very squeamish with, like, little, like, creatures or, or any.

Yeah, I don't like them either. When they have little hands and, like, faces and shit, I don't, I don't know. It's all right. We grew up outdoors. We know what it's like. You grew up two blocks from me. We grew up outdoors. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't touch anything with scales or antennae or I don't touch any of that.

Like, if there's a roach in your house. I could kill it. I just don't want to pick it up. Yeah. kick it just just kick it just kick it yeah we would do open the door and just try to kick it out all right i'm back and we have some more sponsors uh we have seekekeke seek geek is a lovely uh ticketing app where you can buy tickets to anything if you want to go to a broadway play you want to go to a sporting event or a concert or whatever they usually have it on there there's over 70,000

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the coffin with like this stuff on top and then he'd be the one doing like the athletic stuff which I think we'd be okay if you did the eslics tandem stuff but like yeah if I got to get in the coffin you put a bunch of hissing cockroaches on me I can't yeah they're not that bad they're just little friends they want to live yeah I don't have you ever eaten a bug yeah dude dude we've we've we've we haven't had roaches you guys there's been there's been like the really nasty shit era of Good Mythical Morning yeah for a couple of years there I mean it might have been for over five years it doesn't work anymore you can't eat gross shit on youtube anymore you get like demonetized really yeah yeah i think you could probably still eat you can eat like crickets or whatever but that i mean they don't want you vomiting blood or just vomit got you can't be showing vomit i wouldn't i never vomited but i would i mean i made it i made quite a career on a gagging yeah oh yeah for a number of years absolutely and but those days those days are those days are long gone but yeah we i mean we went through like so many bugs we were actually at one point we were

developing a party game like a packaged party game with it was like a collaboration with a legitimate gaming company and it was called who's going to eat the bug or something like that will you eat the bug and then it was going to ship with like dry bugs in it. And a little window in the box where you could see like the crickets. It was cool. We had the prototype and everything.

We got very close. We can do this. We can do this. Yes, we're a legitimate gaming brand. And but we can ship bugs to children around the world. We can do that so they can eat it. And it came with like gummy versions of it and then like the real bug and like it was a game

to figure out who's gonna be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shipping loves children. Yes. You know what? We're not gonna do that. No, we talked with our lawyer division. It's really, really hard to get the bugs for some reason.

Do they get, like, intact crickets? Well, I mean, you think of, like, the farms and stuff like that. They don't want to be like, oh, well, we're a, you know, a cricket farm that is just raising these things for slaughter for other people, I guess. Is that a thing? There's farms? Of course there are bug farms, yeah. It makes sense, but I never even like... I guess that's regular farms, too, so I guess...

Yeah, it's regular farms. They're not that bad, I mean, I don't look forward to, like, the, like... apocalyptic future where we're eating just bug protein i'm not excited about that did you eat like a spider that's plenty of spiders spiders spiders are rancels tarantulas yeah we've had we had some we had crickets we had the i'm crazy i didn't any of that danny and i did it that one time it was like crickets and you know stuff like that you did the worst thing ever though which we wouldn't do now and you didn't feel good about it but you were kind of put on the spot you you ate a live beetle.

Yeah. That wasn't. And it was, it was that one, it was a rhino beetle. Have you seen those things with a giant horn? Those are cool. It was like this, yeah.

Yeah, that's, that's my deepest regret. I'm proud of you, you know. I'm proud of it. I'm not proud of it. Was it like you felt bad because of like, it just was really tough to get through or like the ethical reason? It was also like eating alive thing.

It was like eating like an elderly person's, toe nails. They're disgusting. I'm letting you know right now there are certain people watching this and I're just like, okay, all right. Toes. Okay. Hold up.

Dessert? I mean, because you know how the older they get the thicker they get. Like the toe nails. The toenails. The toenails specifically. Oh, I don't know. You know, we're not there yet. We're not there yet.

I remember, I've known some old people and I've seen their feet and they're not, they they suck. Oh, you should have seen his grandma's feet. It's bad. Yeah. No, I mean, they were in rush jail. Instead of growing out, they start growing up. Yeah.

Up, like another layer. And then like, they like grab toe underneath the nail. They're trying to protect the whole end of the top. It's like a helmet that grows over the front of the toe. It literally, it looks like a bob cut. You let it happen. Right. And you go, yeah, that's what it's like eating that's a scorpion, I guess.

Yeah, that's not. I mean, it's weird because like I am, I would be the one that would do it. But, like, it's gotten to a point where, like, the Internet is just, like, it's the thing to do to get people to watch. So, like, there's really no point to do it anymore anyways. Yeah. I will say the scene in The Lion King where they're eating bugs, those look delicious. That does look really good. Are you familiar?

The animated version? Correct. Well, technically, they're both animated. That's true. What was the other one? One seems real. He got you, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I can't call, I got to stop calling that. That you feel real dumb now. Yeah. I got to stop calling that the live action. Mission accomplished. when are we going to hit him with the lion key double animation bit i need you to understand something i have so much useless knowledge about movies and tv that when something like that happens that's the first part that i'm going to think about when i'm resting my head on my pillow tonight

just like got him i finally used it guys it finally worked you got us you got him got animated pee boys I'm glad we're through that, that phase. Yeah, I mean, there's occasionally something, like when we do our live show, Good Mythical Morning Live, when we travel, which we haven't done this year, there's some worm eating and some spider eating. We have a game called Picker, peek, or poker face.

So you got the lazy Susan, and then one person gets to peek at what's under there, and then they get to, and then the other person gets to decide. Makes the decision, are they gonna eat what's in front of them or what's in front of them? They don't, without knowing, based on what his face looked like.

You either get a gummy worm or a real worm. You should play this. Is it like one good thing, one bad thing? One good thing, one bad thing. And based on their reaction, you're like, I'll take it, or they're turning it. I'm gonna let you have it or not. And when we're doing it on stage,

it's like people are reacting because they know. It really works live. It's a phone. Write that down, we're stealing the idea, not giving credit. You should do that. It works live, but it's like YouTube has sort of had it. No, you know what?

I think you guys seem like you're really married to it you could have you could keep doing it we will keep doing but maybe you can we give a resurgence to it yeah let's do one together okay a quadruple pick a pic-pick-pick-poker thing yeah yeah we say that five times fast yeah yeah never done it next time you come back out we'll do a four-way you guys are gonna bring bugs and I'm just if I opened the thing and there's a rhino beetle whatever the fuck it's called video's gonna end real quick so you have a standard you're you're like watching what works and you're deciding what you're not willing to do what's up like you're not willing to

eat gross stuff even though because other people are doing it is what you just said me yeah no yeah i know i'm saying for the sake of views yeah popularity well like i i just can't like my body physically if there's a beetle like there's nothing i could do yeah it's that's that's the best position to be in for entertainment well he the other part of the position that he's leaving out is that growing up because this the dynamic was like you know we're 12 years old and we want to film someone doing like you know getting kicked in the nuts or something like that yeah he wouldn't even need to say like I'm not doing it I'll just be like yeah I'll do it and he's just like okay he's picking up the slack I'm picking up the slack in that situation so like

even at this point like yeah we're not doing that stuff now ironically the thing that people want to see us eat is very edible but I just my body refuses it is mustard oh yeah so Like, anytime we do a video, this little bastard over here fits mustard in or on or... Hold on. You're a hot dog guy. No way. I am a hot dog guy. I'm not a mustard guy. And a pretzel guy. And I love pretzels. No mustard on pretzels. Absolutely not. So just ketchup on your hot dog? I have a variety of hot dog costumes that I like. For the most part, all of them involve ketchup. Okay. That's an insane way to say costumes is what? But you're... I understood.

I dress them up different. Yeah. What would be the reaction to mustard if you had it? I mean, I'm not. You're just waiting for the right moment to? No, I, I, it stems from, you're a picky eater. You self, you've explained that you're a picky eater. When I was like four years old, my friend's mom gave me a sandwich.

And I at that time, as a kid, you know how kids are. They need to know exactly what they're eating. If they eat something that, and they're like, what, you didn't tell me. about this they'll hate it forever they'll never touch it it was a baloney sandwich big baloney fan right here I mean I'm up on baloney okay yep but when I bite in a baloney and I'm told it's baloney it fucking better be baloney it was bologna and mustard it's tough that happened to me when I was younger there was a little serving dish that had sour cream in it but I was young and I was

like this is ice cream and it wasn't so that kind of scarred me for a little bit I'm back on it. But it seems like you don't, you understand that like when things happen at your expense, then that is to the benefit of your viewer. I got a line. I got a line and bugs are the line. You know,

I'll do other stuff for sure. But by building mustard. But by building it up, right? Like with mustard. Yes. So now you kind of set your, this is how we think about it. You sort of set yourself up for the like big fundraiser or whatever.

It's something. Frank's going to eat mustard. He's going to get in a dunk tank. Well, what came first a chicken or the egg? I mean, I'm very well aware that this also might be as a result of my own creation, you know, that, like, people want to see me do it. But it's just the reaction is real. It's authentic. I can't, I don't know when it's coming all the time.

And when it happens, it's bad. What if we get a beetle? Let me cover that mustard. So you don't want people to, you don't want to share that with people. It's too late. It's out there. It's too late. Oh, you've already done it.

It's been out there. It's been out there for years. Okay, got it. So at this point, it's over. It's more of just like an anticipatory thing on my end. Okay. You know, and anywhere we go, for the most part, we get people dressing up as mustard. Hot dogs.

Hot dogs. People offering cups of mustard. We did a show in Austin, and someone walked up and gave me a cup of mustard and was like, well, what are you going to do with this? And I was peer pressured by this person in the audience. Yeah. But you didn't eat it. He did. Oh.

I did a little. What else are you not? willing to do from like a creator standpoint like goofy thumbnails oh like yeah yeah um i would i would i don't think i we may have we mostly do thumbnails of like they're from the video okay we don't i don't think we've ever done like photos that jealous of that um so i mean i think that it makes probably makes for a better thumbnail to do that it's just i don't know you know what it was like i feel like when i started doing youtube i didn't i didn't really watch anybody i It wasn't that familiar with people.

So I didn't really know what was working for everyone else. I just kind of just did. Like, I didn't have thumbnails for like five years. So, like, I just. It was just text. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes it would just be text or whatever. Or, like, as far as creating a really good title or something like that.

Yeah, like, do you, I just didn't do it. Do you put like emotional in the title? Yeah, it's like X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, gone wrong. Right. You'll never believe number four. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah.

There are definitely levels to it. There's levels. You got to, I think this is the other thing we're trying to tell you is that you're, yeah, watch out. Yeah, I was going to say. You start making them thumbnail faces. I would say, you need to watch out. I would say that if you haven't started, don't do it. Started doing it.

Don't start doing it. This sounds like the way that you guys were talking about it and like taking our responses in, it was just like a, this is something we would have changed. Like we wouldn't have done it. Right. And did all of this. to where we got to now, you know, like, it made the, what is it, the ends are justifying the means or the means are justifying the ends, but like, you would have changed that up a little bit differently. That's right. Yeah. And the funny thing is, is we are, well, when you release

videos five times a week and technically 10, if you count Good Mythical More, which is on its own channel, right? So, so you've got like two thumbnails going up every day. And that, and we don't, we're not like we don't get involved in that that whole like optimization of title and thumbnail is it's its own science team that's doing that right we just are like okay we hear well this is working better now or this through a B testing or whatever and so we just it's part of our process we shoot an episode and then we just like stand in front of a screen and like make some faces and there's like a I mean it doesn't get into like yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah.

You know, there's a little bit of a, like you said, we have a line, too. It's somewhere between. Yeah. And there's like, there's some shame, but not full shame. Yeah. But we have been told recently they're like, oh, we're doing some more like screen grabs from the episodes

of something really interesting happens or whatever. And people are responding to that. We're like, great. Yeah. That's great. Why don't you guys give your best thumbnail face like they just did? Oh, yeah. Where is your line for a thumbnail face?

It's like, all right. That's kidding. That's a Halloween video. Start with like really crazy and then bring it down to a point where you feel comfortable. Well, we need a scene. What's the emotion? What's the scene? What's the emotion?

How do we feel? Are we tired? What day of the week? Weather, weather. I think let's go with really ecstatically happy, but then also terrified. So like you're both going to start at different places. 10 start at 10 start at 11 okay so frank you're super happy yep yeah I'm scared yeah okay Joe you're scared let's give one directly to the camera yep so I'll be

who am I oh no we're gonna we're gonna we're starting at 10 and start it started follow the prompts my friend they gave you the prompts I know I'm okay you're terrified Joe all right is there a static same time I'm sorry is there a countdown or three two one go okay and now And you're feeling, you're just feeling the embarrassment, right? I'm clicking on that. It's just too much. Now bring it down a notch, bring it down to eight maybe.

Oh shit, okay. Yeah, just bring it down to eight. You're still scared, Joe. Are you, Joe, are you okay with that? I don't know. I think, I can't see. I think you've gone down to six. I can't breathe.

I can't get more scared. I don't know how to, I don't even know how to be scared right now. You look, don't give up. You look a little scared now. You need to be a little bit happier. Now let's go down to six, five. got out of five okay now joe i feel like i'm in pain kind of could you live with this joe is this your life yeah i think now i think yeah i lost it four you're shitting your pants all right

that's what you're doing it's go to three you just got all kinds of options keep going keep going you're at three you're still you're not ecstatic anymore but you are a little happy why are you crying i see tears welling he hasn't blinked yet now the two is it's a blink for over over a minute too and do I think you look like you're in a sweet spot that no that looks horrible that's it that is that is your that is constipated that is your used to be ecstatic it looks a little bit constipated that's not good yeah that's it just use that I didn't pain any spats say this is why you can't do it he wasn't he wasn't breathing I didn't breathe okay how is that necessary so clicks man clicks just

the fact that the screen grab from this episode is going to be the two of you next to each other. Yeah, I know this fucking asshole is going to do that. That's going to get the clicks. I mean, if we're, if we're smart, the screen, the, the, there'll be somebody else in the thumbnail to, we were actually just really, really push this. We were just talking about this, uh, very recent, this morning. We were talking about this.

It doesn't even matter when we were talking about it. Changes. So, okay, if you guys started doing something different, like, noticeably different, like, noticeably different with like your thumbnails or whatever the people who are like i'm here for what you guys are doing right now and i don't need you to sell it to me in any more sensational way than you already do they would be upset if you started doing that because it's a signal that you're trying to reach someone that's not them not them right in addition to them maybe right but those core people feel alienated by that that's something that we've we've learned a few times i think that when

you change anything like even like because for the most part, when I started making YouTube videos, it was in my mom's basement, and I would hang a sheet behind me, so it was like very low budget, then it was not with a sheet, different angle, still my mom's basement, then just on a random wall in my apartment, and then

in the last studio, we were against a wall, but it was like one blue wall, one white wall, that's it, nothing on the walls. So when we did this, I was like, I'm sure this is going to be an adjustment because it's not going to feel like this, oh, they're just, it's a low budget version,

version of a show and that makes it more relatable or feel good. So there was a concern of like, this is a necessary step for us to upgrade and make things look more professional and get better cameras and stuff like that and make those changes. But they have to be a little gradual. And I actually will say this phone in particular, there was a time where we were shooting in my apartment and I just bought it because I thought it looked cool and I was like dressing up the set a little bit. And the thing about picking us up was like whenever someone said,

said something that was like maybe offensive or you know you couldn't say the right thing you'd pick up the phone and like you're talking to the editor like cut that out right and like that was like the joke so brought it back on purpose because I think that was funny and it kind of got lost in our next sort of set up but a nice like you know thing to kind of bring it back to a regular time where the people who are fans then now have a little bit like oh I know what the phone is but new people won't know what the phone is right because they don't know the old thing but anytime you change anything there is going to be going to be this little dance yeah you know and then we slowly added this guy in and you know then they were like who's this and what's he doing and then he eventually got a camera so it was like yeah we weren't going to jump in here put him in put him on camera and like make everything super different immediately yeah yeah like letting things evolve yeah we've we've we've done a lot of that and then things develop a life in their own hey look at us we're talking shot I almost I'll be honestly i almost passed out i had to stop and listen for a couple minutes because i saw tears in your i'm not i'm not even yeah are you here this is no bit i'm gonna after this take a really big

sip of water and tell him like what's am i am i was that okay i'll tell you this right now if you would have fainted on this show that would have been like i would have been like you hear you hear you see my i'm different now like i'm i feel you went through something i did it wow it's beautiful You've come out on the other side. We want to get to this thing where we have these two images just to get your... Because you guys are like food guys. You know, you do a lot of the trying to foods and whatever, so we want to know your opinions.

Can we pull up the DIY cereal? Gotcha. And see which one of these you guys are picking here? Cookies, pancakes, pop-carts, s'mores, donuts, croissants, waffles, cinnamon toast, chocolate pancakes. Obviously, all these need to have some milk in. yes and the type of milk will be important to me and only me and i'll yell at you for the wrong choice the other thing we we get a little intense with our food picks here so there is no pressure to pick something correctly but there absolutely is pressure to pick something incorrectly

right so fucking watch it okay noted okay uh so you so you would be uncomfortable with me saying that i'm just fundamentally opposed to this exercise why that i think that the that that I just don't think we as a species should let ourselves. I don't think we should let ourselves do this. I think you have to draw some lines. I love it. If you're taking the root of like, listen, this is just, it is a bad thing to consume. Yeah.

We're all there. We get it. Actually, this is how Frank eats cookies. The cookie one is how he eats cookies. Not, no. Sorry. Incorrect. That's a little cookies. Well, no.

That's why he's wrong. I crush my cookies. I don't leave them whole. And you put them in a bowl with milk. Yes, I do. And I am a pro dunk it and milk dude. But you know what's going to happen with A? You know what's going to happen, right?

Yeah, it's going to turn into a... That's a mush. That's a mush. I love that. I love that, too. But no, no, no, no. See, like, is it a mush? Sure, maybe.

But if you eat with the intensity and speed at which I am eating that bowl, it's not getting there. Intensity. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's filthy when I eat. No. So you're picking A. No, I didn't say that.

Filty, filthy. I didn't say that. Well, let's start here. How do you guys feel about- A is going to be great. I agree. I think that might be my pick. A number of these are actually manufactured

cereals. I mean, I'm just- The waffles and pancakes. Even Pop-Tarts, I think, did it. We tasted that on the show. It was pretty good. Crescents haven't seen that. That's a mess.

I'm going H. Is there even a question? Well, see, H is such a cheating answer. Because that is basically just already Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I mean, the picture is literally of Cinnamon Toast Crunk. Yeah.

You can't do that with actual cinnamon toast. Anything cinnamon, though. It is the best cereal. Yes. Agreed. It is the number one. What's the second and third, though? Well, okay.

Give us podium. Doesn't need to be in an order. At this point, this is just going to be me personally. Raisin Nut Brand. What the hell is going on over there? Hey, you'll thank me later. I would just. jump across here and hug you so hard because I am a big, big fan of raisin brand.

It's saying. Nope. That's not even what I'm saying. And nut brand too. Raisin brand adjacent. I love it. He won't do the raisin bread. I don't even know what that is. What is a raisin brand? And I'm not going to accept your support. Use is what? Raisin nut brand? Yeah, it has nut clusters. It has it has, it has raisins that have been. Candid. Rolled in nuts. So you don't know the raisins until you bite into them. All right. Just. Before you ruin this for me, please, just go. What else? What else is on the podium?

And there are brand flakes. Oh, what else is on the podium? Oh. Reese's, Puffs, minis. Mini, he hates that. M-I-N-I. He's calling 911. I can see that he's doing that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring the gun. Bring the gun. The pellet gun. Bring the gun. Okay, dude, they're great in the mini version. and they don't hurt the roof of your mouth and I'm going to throw a little love

The roof of the mouth is a big thing I get that To cross in many weeks No cap and crunch Bight size Oh here we go Well hold on we'll get to that But Rhett give us podium cereals

Give us podium cereals I'm a cinnamon toast crunch Yeah smart guy I also I like frosted flakes I'm sorry They're so simple They're so sugary They're so good

More than good The best milk too And more than good And the milk turns yellow. I don't care what color it is. It tastes delicious. And Honeynut Cheerios. I'm sorry.

The other day, I just said I got a craving for Honey Nut Cheerios like I'm pregnant or something. I was like, I got, I was like Honey Nut Cheerios. With bananas. Nope. Have you done that? Too good. I had. Oh, maybe when I was younger, I did that.

You're going to come out against Honey Nut Cheerios. Oh, yeah. That's insane. I think, reap the whirlwind. Honey Nut Cheerios are like, you, come on. Like, whoa, what do you do it? You like Raisin Brand. It's good.

Grandma? It's good. Do you see how he's attacking both of us when he's saying this? I'm trying to attack, I'm trying to attack just red here because I didn't hear anything about Honey Nut Cheerios out of your mouth. Now he wants to attack both of us. Listen, Honey Nut Cheerios. Okay, so then you, I'll bring a third gun then. I think that I'm going to be brave here since everyone else.

I'll thank you for standing up for what's right, white man. Too sensitive to say this. Captain Crunch is in the top three. cuts the roof of my mouth. Yep. Let's just pull it together here. But see, the best version of... The best version of Captain Crunch...

It's eviscerates the roof of your mouth. You need to be very specific because the best version of Captain Crunch isn't Captain Crunch. It's oops, all berries. Because the berries are the best part of Captain Crunch. It's time to grow up. Time to grow up?

This is how I hold on to my childhood, my wonder, my beautiful years. So let's do this graphic. You spend $8. We have all of these cereals. uh let's just go wow there is oops all berries there i'm gonna tell you i'm gonna tell you a sleeper in life and on this spend eight dollars is life yes life is a great cereal it is a sleeper cereal don't sleep you know what cereal i like don't love but i love at the same time it's kind of like

my relationship with candy corn it's like i don't love this but i'm gonna eat it kicks i like kicks It's like okay, but I'm like, I like it Barry, Barry kicks It's cheating It's cheating, but it's kicks It's on the, it's right there I think if we go one per row You gotta spend eight Frank

There's rules Yeah, you got it You only get eight bucks Could we all Just for the sake of the argument Because I think we're all in agreement here We know CTC would be chosen So let's just

Avoid that for now Yeah, let's take it off All right, so we're not doing that So we're not even spending money on it No, we're gonna get it But we're just not going to spend the money on it. Are we eating this in one sitting or is this like for a week? That's a great question.

And I love the conditions that you have here because these are the questions that I ask and I am scolded for it. No, so this will be your one month of cereal. Okay, that helps because I don't want to eat three or four cereals at once. No, no, one month. Eat at your own leisure depending on no confinements to the time of the day, no confinements to the amount. Also, no confinements to the type of milk. And also, this is the only breakfast you get for that month. No, no, no, no, no.

You could throw in some savory stuff every now and then just to break it up. Crispy, crispy banking. All right. Once a week, you get a little sausage. I'm swooping in on mini wheat because that is a steal for a dollar. First of all, I was thinking Apple, yeah, I didn't notice that. Apple jacks for a dollar is like, I mean, highway robbery. Jack my apple.

I'm taking it. Well, I don't say that. They are good. Apple jacks, I'm definitely doing that. It's, I mean, oops, I'll be. is up there on principle alone i need to take it but i wouldn't hate falling on corn pops pops pops pops they don't even have the reflective bag and what's the big difference between pops and kicks um one is more corny and one is more like bali yeah got that that's the technical

i've never been i've never been yeah pops are like something that a doctor might remove from your body yeah it's a little organic yeah it's more polyps not Not pops. Got it. That's it. That's a perfect. Kellogg's going to be pumped with that one. Colon polyps.

Yum. I think I would go, the highest one I'm taking here, fruity pebbles. Love them. Love fruity pebbles. I mean, you ate. And I like when they get a little soggy. I must admit.

I'm mixing it up with cocoa puffs. It's only $2 and you get some chocolate in there. Okay. There's a lot of value there. Yeah. And you think about it, It's the cereal that keeps on giving because the milk at the end of a corn pops bowl. A cocoa puff.

That's what I meant. Coco puffs. I'm sorry, I'm still lightheaded from fucking holding my breath for two and a half minutes earlier. What the hell is Crave? Crave is like a new one. You need to be, I think I've been really careful to not go in on some crave because my impression is that it's full dessert mode. Is it? Yeah.

And if you start, I might not. be able to pull back it's chocolate right so it's chocolate inside of these little packets oh it's got a filling it's like a pizza like a tautina's pizza roll but inside it's like chocolate and cream that feels like a violation of like a principle it probably is i've all of them are not eating it because i am too afraid of what it might do to my lifestyle it's a smart man i am more afraid of not having lucky charms i love the most overrated cereal that's ever existed i can't agree with that at in any capacity you like the marshmallows right i love the i love the i love the That type of marshmallow, which

It's not real. It's like, what is it? It's dust. It's called. It's like a powdery It's made out of something else. Like couch. You think I can I don't care what the hot dogs are made up. No, but I prefer it. Because if you put like a real marshmallow in milk, it's like something. Too soft. I don't know what happens. Fair. I don't even like marshmallows. I love marshmallows out and about. But those are like, I love a lucky charm. Hell yeah. Can't. Yeah. And also fruity pebbles are great. But they're better when they're Christmas ones.

They taste the same. No, I will agree that they do not. They taste like cloves and cinnamon. No, they just like when you. Guys, guys, I know you're not much older than us. You remember the holiday cereals that would come out. You're going to tell me if I put a bowl of regular fruity pebbles in front of you and then one where you know that that was made by Fred Flintstone in a Santa hat,

you don't like that one a little bit more. Yeah, and they're just all red and green? Yeah. I like that. I already have my picks. I'm going fruity pebbles, oops all berries, apple jacks, and mini-weets. Now that I think about it, oops-all berries and fruity pebbles are probably too similar. No way.

Different flavor profile. You get a fruity or fruit with fruity pebbles. Oops-all berries is a little more, it's a little more. I don't know how to explain it. It makes sense in my head, but it's just more of a manufactured sweetness than a, natural sweetness. What's the backstory on the, obviously he made a mistake

and dropped the berries in, oops? Yeah, I think there was something at the factory went awry and now they've created a better cereal. Well, the captain, he's been out on the ship for a while.

Scurvy is a real thing in the cereal mascot world. It turns into scarlet fever. Eventually it gets us all. So maybe the oops all berries was just like him overcompensating for the lack of vitamin C on his cereal ship.

I'm sure it's, packed what you're eight um apple jacks lucky charms that's five right there yeah three bucks and then i don't even need to use the full eight i'll just go oops all berries and then i have a dollar left over and i'll get more apple jacks oh doubling up on the jack i love apple jacks i'm going to go with the wreaths's puffs even though they're not many yeah And then I'm going to go with the mini-weets. Yeah. Then I'm going to go with the Apple Jacks and the Special K.

Oh, you're going, Special K? It's a lot of cereals. Special K? That's not a bad pick. I like the texture. It's not a bad pick. It's an awful pick. It's not a good one at all.

I think it's pretty awful. I think I need to, you know, I think I need to mix it into my other cereals just to get a little, to get some help. I see what you have. had like real world special k if you think special k is a good pick there's no chance real world you remember the commercials for special k i'm not no i do remember the commercials for some of the others though is a woman was a woman in a white bathing suit yeah we've talked about this yes she was horny for special k it was like it was and her leg would come out wants to be fit

her leg would come out and her leg would make the logo oh throw it i'm getting very excited You haven't seen the special okay This is why I'm telling the special K Her leg comes out and bends And then it makes the K Yeah, I'll never forget it So I mean nothing sells Serial better than objectifying women

I remember Nothing does It was four women There was a kid in our neighborhood That was like Bigger and then lost some weight And I remember asking him like Oh how'd you lose all that weight

And he said special Ket I don't know if he meant ketamine to be fair Oh there is right there Second one look look at this y'all this is this is this is recent yeah this is a more recent i'm talking about the 80s ones but let's just see what happens so she's throwing her scale out the window why is she doing that oh she's got bell bottoms on she's looking at pants oh see there's a leg see there's a woman putting on pants who's going to argue with that i see no leg they're still

selling it the same way but oh no where's the leg making the k where's the k leg it'll come it'll happen Okay, like, come on, K-Leg. Liars. Wow. Absolutely lied. Which year did you say it was from? 80s. Just put 80s.

Back in. I remember some of the, like, the ones when we were kids, it was just like the Reese's puffs one was like wrapping peanut butter cups. You remember that? It's like, Reese's puffs, Reese's puffs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Peanut butter chocolate flavor. Reese's puffs.

I don't know it. Just put bathing suit. Now this is, was this a figment of your imagination? I mean, there is one with the girl who's making a bit of a special case. I am also now learning that Special K has been around for quite some time here. Yeah, I mean, it looks like, remember which one was the one that was made so people would stop drinking off? That certainly makes me, that's kind of like it, though. See, oh, here we go, woman in a white bathing suit?

With a child, what? Watching too many, like, scantily clad women in an episode. How many commercials did they have? Which one? Was Special K the one that was made? That was made. This one? Yeah. I think go to the end of that one.

Yeah, just go to the end. But see, she's in a white bathing suit. They did that for years. Get the shape. Okay. They did the K leg. I know they did the K. You guys have another dream we have.

This is what happens to us. We say like, yeah, we remember this. And then it never happened. It's like a Mandela effect of Special K. Now we're figuring that out. Which was special K the one that was made for people to like get people to stop jerking off?

That was, uh, that was, uh, that was just, uh, cornflakes. Cornflakes. Yeah. Kellogg's corn flakes. Oh, my not only am I happy that I asked. I'm happy that you knew because it just validates what I said earlier. It didn't work. We, we. Follow up question. I'm going to go ahead and answer. It doesn't work. Didn't work. No, you don't think so. So you're going to tell me you've seen a box of corn flakes and been like, it's having the opposite effect. Or have you seen a box of cornflakes would be like, you know what, you actually, I'm kind of, I'm okay right now. I don't, they're so bland that I feel like I need to compensate somehow, you know, right? Got it seems like, it seems like, it seems like Kellogg would have needed to make the most,

you know, engaging cereal ever. Yeah, a cereal that distracts you. But why be sexually satisfied when I can just eat this cereal? Kellogg's actually said that, uh, the early version of cornflakes could help suppress sexual desires and prevent self-pollution because it was so bland. So the whole point was to be bland. So technically, it did exactly what it wanted to do. Yeah. So did it work?

I mean, not for me personally. No, I don't think that was enough to stop that train. Yeah, there was nothing that could stop me. I mean, you could make an argument. If you saved just one life, have you not done your job? There was nothing that could stop me. Nothing was stopping that. Now, here's my question.

And I know, I know I think we'll be able to, to get to the bottom of this. If you were to create a cereal and it would be a cereal to promote self-sexual love, what would it be flavored and what would be in it? Self-sexual love.

Yeah, like a jerk-off cereal. Well, you know, there's a certain time in your life where... I don't like salty cereals. Anything at all. Oh, God. There's a certain time in your life where anything and everything

makes you horny like a special K commercial that may have. or may not have ever happened. Right. You know what I mean? And so I think that anything at all, like we were talking about

how the, like, the catalog that your parents would get that just had like a woman on the back in a bra was enough to pull the trigger sometimes, right? Absolutely. So it just needs to be something, I'm trying to think of something, something that suggests something from, a female the female anatomy okay so like a flower a tulip boob loops boob loops okay like fruit loops but

then you put two of them absolutely that feels like oh we got something oh yeah oh my goodness see 1988 1987 this is a serial commercial I was I was 10 years old oh that was that's prime cereal eating and trying to figure out if you're into this it would This is an insane serial commercial. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, think about that. And here it comes, y'all. I knew this was not just in my mind. Oh, it's the arm!

Oh, it's the arm! Whoa! You were wrong! Wow. It was an elbow. Unbelievable. So your arm is apparently. It was the Mandela effect.

It was the arm. It was the arm. It was the arm. It might have been. That's incredible. In that one, it was the arm. I mean, what's, what's going to find another one now? What's an arm, if not a top leg?

Where's the nearest place where we can get some special care? Well, it depends on what type you're looking for. You are in Brooklyn. Well, I think that's where we can kind of wrap up this episode right there with ketamine at the end. Thank you so much for getting us demonetized right at the end there. Flashlights, the cereal. That's another good one. To answer your question.

Mine, I don't know what would be in the cereal, but. on the front of the box would be the dragon from Shrek. Yeah, that does it for you. Very horny dragon. You're an eyelashes guy. Look at, look at the dragon. Just look at the dragon. Just look at the dragon.

I'm not saying pull it up, Ann. I'm just sitting next to him. Hey, I just watch the special K commercial. Don't show me the dragon from Shrek. Look at the dragon when you're alone at night with a candle on. I got other stuff to do today, guys. Yeah, can't spend all my time looking at the dragon,

But thank you guys so much for coming and doing this episode with us. Yeah, that was fun. You know, where can they find you? These guys. Yeah, where, where are you to tell us maybe? Yeah, well, just log on to YouTube.com. They'll pop up. And try to find some thumbnails with guys doing.

About a 30% shocked face. Actually, we do want people to go see Wonderhole. Yes. Yeah. Which is our, we, you know, season two is out. six episode yeah that's right six episode season it's on the youtube.com slash ret and link channel the original channel so not the good mythical morning channel okay uh the red and link channel yeah so we got two seasons of that and uh yeah i really want more people to watch it cool well i'm just begging if

you're if you're if you're watching this it'll be in the description so you guys can go find that easily but again thank you guys so yeah always good to hang out with y'all always good always good and always fun uh frank you got anything you want to add um that's all for this week's episode appreciate you guys so much we'll see you next time