The Basement Yard - #526 - Spooky Season Is Here!

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Thank you to the SFX artists: Tyler Green - @TylerGreenFX Anthony Videira - @AnthonyVideira_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement. Happy Halloween, welcome back to the basement yard. Happy Halloween, everybody, as we did a couple years ago. Which I just, they told me they were like, that was two years ago. Feels like yesterday. I thought it was last year. Me too. Honestly, I don't even know what happened last year.

What did we do for Halloween? And looked it up. It was Radio City. So that, oh, we were a little busy. That's terrifying. Yeah, I know. Oh my God, I have Voldemort. You got, dude, you're like Voldemort.

Oh, that kind of looks sick. That kind of looks pretty sick. And how do I sound? Because it's a little difficult to speak with this. Who did your makeup? Yeah. Someone else. I thought I was coming in early to also get makeup done.

Right. It turns out I was not. You had to let the artists in and then. Yeah, so yeah, they told me to come early. I thought I was getting makeup done as well. It was just to let them in, so I had to paint myself. Right. Yeah.

And it looks great. Thank you. And I don't know if I mean that. Frank. I'm trying to eat popcorn. Can you actually eat through that? No. Where did the popcorn go then?

I got one, but I'm trying to get more. I wish you guys could see what I'm seeing from this angle. Because it's very interesting. All right. Well, you know, There is some, just so everyone's aware, our audio listeners, Frank's in a chicken costume and trying to eat off the desk and it's not going smoothly. The guy said not to, like, move around too much. And so far.

But I have not listened one day. So far you've done that. Hold on, wait. We got to. Yeah. There you go. That didn't work at all. Not at all.

I decided that this feels good. Yeah. All right. We're continuing the trend. Last time I was a lion. You were a cat. Oh, was it just a cat? I think so.

I like the little kitty cat. You're like terrifying. You went from like basically you, last time you were a devil and now you're just like what I expect is going to happen to you once you stop using sunscreen. Now I'm Cardi V. First of all, I don't know how women deal with this because this has been very difficult. Is it nice? Can you clackety clack? I can a little bit.

Ooh. I'm afraid. They're press on nails. They're not real. Oh. You know. But it's been... It's been very difficult to, like, text on my phone, so I'm texting, like...

Like, I look like this, like, scary thing, and then I'm over here, like... Yeah. Very... Do you now have a newfound appreciation for women that have long nails? Uh... Because before you said you hated them. When did I say that? Never.

You never done that. What this has shown me By the way, this looks really cool Like, I think that like nails look nice But they're not practical I just, I don't know, I'm not really Yeah, I mean, I don't want them for myself Right selfishly though I want them just for the purpose

Of scratching my back That's the first thing I ask you to do You want nails on your own hand to scratch your back No, like Becker. I want Becca to have them Oh I don't want them at all Yeah I also

I don't even know how I would wipe my ass I feel like I would claw my fucking rim to bits Like pantomime wiping your ass right now. Tell me what it... Oh, I mean, I guess you could... You have the paper there as a barrier. I can just go like this. Like, no, what's that?

I mean, women are doing it. They're wiping their ass. Or, I mean, it's not just women that have long nails. Get them! Ah! That's crazy! I have to like, because if I talk normal, it's muffled like this. So I have to like be out here.

Yeah. And begak! Yeah. You have to begoc. I need to bugac my way. What do you think bugac means to a chicken? I mean, it depends on the context. It depends on the... We know bucococque.

We know bucocchi. Yeah, we know bucocchi. Yeah. Do you think that came from chickens? Or the Japanese? I think the Japanese coined the term. Yeah. What does bucocchi actually mean?

I don't want you to look at it up. Yeah. Google what bucocchi translates to. I'm going to... I think it translates to just big fun time. Not for... That's your cell phone, right? Yeah. What does...

For the love of Jesus. Go ahead. It means a sexual practice in which several men... No, no, no, no, no. Don't read it. We know what that definition is. What is the actual, like, Webster Dictionary definition of Bukaki? Is Bukaki in the dictionary?

Now we're asking the hard-hitting questions. You know what I mean? We are journalistic entrepreneurs, okay? We are just trying to crack the stories of tomorrow. What's the question? Because it just means what it is. Oh, what are you asking? It doesn't, what are the, all right, how about this?

What are the linguistic origins of Bukaku? No. So what he's saying, though, is that it's like, Frank thought that, oh, I also thought that, like, the word had like a, It meant something like the evil night or something. Got it. Got it. Yeah, like the creamy space.

Right. What the hell? My nail is coming off and I'm getting real sad. It did originate in Japan in the 80s. So the Japanese coined Bukaki. I think they invented it. Wow. Innovators.

Innovators. Fucking. Pokemon. Pokemon. Um, others. What else did they do? Final fantasy? Bukaki.

Actually, I did find something here. It refers to the act of splashing liquid on something. In this case, broth, because they also have Bukaki Udang. Dude, if I went to a restaurant and I saw Bukaki on the menu, I'm leaving that restaurant. Depends on the price. What? Depends on the price? It depends on the price.

It does depend on the price. Wait, what's Bukaki Udong? Udong. Udong, like the food, like soup. So it's like a Bukaki soup, and you order it, and they come over and throw it a little? your face call call call call call call call call call you got to dial a number joey

i lost one take out that buccaki utal what an episode we're excited we love the guys that did the makeup also did it the last time, uh, if you want to shout them out real quick, but I think we look really good. I love the animal thing I got going on here. Yeah. It feels animalistic in nature, but I do think that there is a level of connection I have with the chicken now. Because you eat a lot of chicken. I eat a lot of chicken. You eat a lot of chicken. Yeah. I won't be after

this, but you know. You won't? No. Gobble me up. Right. See, that's why. I'll show you my wings and my breasts. Show me your wish. I'll split your wishbow. You want my, uh, you want to spatch cock me on the fucking table? I will fuck you. Oh, roast me up.

I will marinate you and you fucking chicken whore. Hell yeah. Shove a fucking skewer in me. Bacock? I show you a bugawk. Yeah, you show you a bococ. Right in your dart meat. All right.

See, that's where. Yeah, that's where I go to. You need a name because I'm just chicken. Right. You need a, you need a name that is appropriate. Are you, wait, now hold on. Yeah. Are you, uh, are you a witch, a ghoul, a goblin, a, a troll?

Um, you know, I think that, uh, I got a name for you. Marjorie Taylor Green. Topical. I just spit in my mask And now I can feel it Okay, so what's your name? What are you? That's a great question. Are you asking me like my pronouns right now? I absolutely am. I want to respect whatever your pronouns are. Okay. Is it giving woman?

It's giving terrifying. Yeah, it's giving scary. What? I meant it's giving scary. I mean it's giving scary. I'll say that you know, I'm kind of like a It. Mm-hmm. Is that a pronoun? So you're you're you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're genderless. Yeah, I'm genderless. Gender fluid. I'm like, I'm like ditto from Pokemon. But not. But not that, though.

But what I can't, what can I, but I'm genderless. I'm unisex. Yeah. I'm unisex. Unisex. Like shampoos. Yeah. And aunt, just to be very clear, you are Leonardo, the Ninja Turtle.

I am Leonardo. The teenage mutant ninja turtle. Hey, Aunt. Yes, sir. Really depends. on how we color grade this because you can get in a lot of trouble that's a little bit of a dark gray yeah you know what now that I'm thinking about whoever's editing this we're getting close and they got the power in their hands yeah because they can really turn that into something oh yeah oh yeah you know and we don't we don't

we don't we don't we don't any of it exactly support or like yeah i did I'm just glad that you have the goggles. What are you doing? It's a domino mask, Joey. What does that mean? That's what it's called, a domino mask. Wait, the Ninja Turtles were wearing domino masks? That's what they're called.

Domino masks. Are those like, you know those are like the rich horny masks? No, those are the ones that have like the wings on them. They have like a stick. And they got a stick because they can move it and be like, I'm a slut and I'm a dirty masked slut. Why did, why do rich people go to parties like that? I don't know.

You know how. know how miserable a party has to be for me to want to hold up a mask to my face the whole time i would want to wear a mask instead of holding one yeah i hate the ones that have like the i'm sorry but like the long like curled noses and shit hey i'm right here i'm right here fuck those noses i hate them no but like they you know which ones i'm talking about are you talking about like the old uh like the old like pandemic masks yeah yeah yeah yeah i think those are cool. Nah, fuck them. What are those supposed to do?

I think the idea was like there was, you could breathe, but like it, like, it was a long way from the breathing to your nose, so like on the way the germs would go away. That can't be right. I know. It's I have to talk. Watching you eat is fucking great.

I just laughed so hard that I got dizzy. it could be the fumes i see yeah well i can't breathe out of my nose okay because and also like this smells like a like a raw dick like a chicken cutlet dick you know what i mean nope right like uh like uh like here's what i like like party city during Halloween time um sure like Just like latex and sweat and fucking cock. You know what it smells like wet white people? Ew! That's disgusting.

That's what it feels like. Like a water park where like just the trashiest white people you know go all the time. Frank, you love water parks. You love them. Guilty as trip. But trashed. Remember when we went to a water park and you got a tattoo of your nickname across your chest? Certain stories are meant to be dead and buried and left there, okay?

A lot of churros that day and got a fever also. I mean, yes, aunt. What was the nickname? Fax. No, by the way, he gave his nickname to himself. Hold on, Joe Mud. You used to do the same shit. That's called a screen name. Yeah, so was mine. Mine was my screen name.

But you actually would write like Joe Mud. would write like Joe Mudd and your big fucking bubbly letters all over your fucking notebook. Frank, you're the one who got in trouble for the bubble letters. You have a, you, you have a selective memory here. I don't have a selective memory. I'm being honest. I have a memory. You have none. I have a memory. I've remembered. You remember what you select to remember. I remember everything. It is the burden I must bear. I bet it is. It is. It is. Yes. We went to Splish-splash, which was, or is, I don't know if it's still open. In Riverhead, yeah.

A popular water park on Long Island. Yes, it sounds like the worst place on the planet because it's a water park on Long Island. Yes, my nickname and tag at the time was Fax 2. What happened to fax the regulator? You moved on. It wasn't even two. It was squared, so it was technically Fax Fax.

Right, right, right. And I decided to get a chest Hennep semi-permanent chest tattoo right a henna across my chest that said facts too right in old-timey old English like New York Times letters

and then you ate a churro and probably a couple of hot dogs yeah yeah yeah definitely that sounds like a day I mean that is a day that's what Swiss Flash is you know you pull up you get in there you have a churro you got a fucking you know and you leave with a sinus infection

so you're in the wave pool and then you see a kid in a diaper and you're like I'm going to pay for this later and then you fucking get home and you have a sinus infection yep you get a ear infection yep but you had a good time during the part all those places also have like custom like mini pizza restaurants you know what i'm talking about like it's like a restaurant where you can get like a personal pie of pizza and it's just the hottest thing on the planet it's such a specific it's just it's just the hottest piece of pizza you've ever had in your entire life and you have

to let it cool down you know what i kind of It's the most uninteresting story ever. You should do like a seriously like a scary thing. Like look at the camera and be like, I'm gonna get you or say something spooky so someone could use it as a clip. No. Please. Hide your cox. The cock gobbler is coming for you.

I don't want to be the cock gock. You just said hide your cocks. Yeah, but I meant, I got confused is what I happened. Confused. All right, so what's your name? I don't need a name. Yes, you do. Not everything needs to be named.

It does. No, it doesn't. It needs a name. It doesn't need a name. I think you should be Shalas. Shalas? Yes. What does that mean?

I don't know. Right. It just sounds ancient evil. I know. Like, Scrotum. Scrow tomb I see what you're doing there Yeah

Hey he does look like a nut sack Let's be honest A nut sack that's been freshly dragged Through soot Frank if your nut sack looks like this We're gonna talk about a doctor's appointment After this All right

And if your nut sack looks like that You're fire Yeah you gotta have good nut sacks To work here Yeah I check everyone's nuts ass Let me see the cock goblin needs to see your muttsar

I am not a cock goblin You were the one that said you goggle cocks. You're the... I never said that! You gobble him. No, you're the bucocchi chicken. Oh, bagaki. Buccaqui.

That's my name. I'm Frank, the Baccaque chicken. Oh, my God, this is insane. Before, when I was in the makeup chair... Yeah. You guys insinuated that there is a line for how many clucks I elicit. Frank, we're well.

past the line. Really? I mean, well, we're only, you know, a couple of minutes in here. Well, you're, you're going to blow the roof off. Yeah. We're at 16 so far. 16 clocks. Yeah. Well, I mean, we're not going to tell you what it was. Okay. I can't, yeah. I imagine that you haven't passed it. The line is, I'm going to say 21.5. There's no way I would, like, I mean, I would take the over on that, like, easily. We knew you were going to bogok. Well, when a chicken. You'd be a chicken. Right?

I agree. I commit to the fucking bit. Are you going to do something like Ninja Turtley? Like, do a flip? Yeah. I cannot flip. Can you do a cartwheel? Nimble.

Yeah, baby. Can you do a cartwheel? I can do a cartwheel. Let's see it. No, you can. Let's see it. Do a Ninja Turtle cartwheel, I guess. How long ago?

Seven minutes. What? Am I? Does he think we're dumb? He does. please do a cartwheel I can't do a car wheel Why do a

You know that What's that thing where you lay on the ground You get up real cool Oh kip up Definitely cannot do that I did one once in high school No one believes that Once

Nobody believes that What why would I make that If I was gonna lie I'll tell you why Why? Because you're always making up Stuff when you're See I don't like that

I am not making up shit I just remember shit And you don't fucking You don't remember It's just a lie I remember I was in my room and it was so cool I did it no one was there to see it No I did it in I did it in gym class and our it's always gym class well that's where I was dared to do it dared there were oh dare devil stand up real cool

fucking idiot over here I could probably get pretty close to doing one now but I'm not gonna because I got all this on maybe after I take it off but do a cartwheel dude I don't want you to because you'll break your arm, I think No, it'll just look awful Will it? Probably Keith broke his arm doing a cartwheel once Keith has told us

He's broken every bone in his body He has said that and it's so not true But he has broken his nose He broke his neck He broke his neck I know those two for sure I know he's broken his nose Okay, that's three bones of the 206

Yeah Like fully breaking your neck is a crazy move Yo, crazy that he broke his neck. And he played football with it. He broke his neck, went to the doctor, and they're like, oh, it's probably whiplash. So he wore, like, he didn't have, like, a neck brace on and, like, lived for another couple of days with a broken neck. He lived for several more years. He's still alive.

He's still alive. Just so we're all on the same page. I meant, like, he walked around without a neck brace on, and then finally went back to a different doctor. And they're like, your shit is broken, my guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty nuts. And then he.

Yeah. He wore a neck brace. That was when the Giants won the Super Bowl. So we went to the parade And there was a bunch of drunk people around Whatever we were mad young And Keyes got a neck brace on And all of a sudden some guy looks at him and he goes

This kid broke his neck to be here And the whole sidewalk was like Yeah Went fucking crazy dude It was awesome Dude do you remember us throwing people in the air At the Yankees parade Yeah that was fun

No one was safe from being thrown No what we were literally like You ever seen in like the shows where like People will get together and they're like And they throw them in the air. There was like 15, 17-year-olds doing that. And we were tossing people like 15 feet in the air. It was a fun time.

You know, that was back in the day. Back in the day when kids could be kids and we had a good time. And none of this. I'd the left wing. Woke. Woke didn't exist. I love that. You're turning into like drunk uncle chicken.

Drunk uncle. I'm turning into what Foghorn. leghorn is. Yeah. Woke. I say, I say, woke is a menace to society. I say, I say, the libs are trying to poison our youth. This is freaking me out. Honestly. It's freaking me out. I say, I say, if you believe Biden won that election, you're part of the problem. Problem. I should just commit to being Foghorn, Leghorn. Yeah. A racist cartoon chicken. he racist? Close enough. What is close to them?

I'm not gonna... He's a chicken from like fucking Florida. You're gonna tell me he doesn't have a racist bone in his body. He's from Florida. Maybe. I might have made that up. That's a big detail. He's Southern. So all Southern people are racist? No, no, no, no. But there's some stuff. Have you seen some of the

old Looney Tunes cartoons? No. I didn't see them when I was younger. There's some stuff there, brother. Why are you watching cartoons from the 20s? I put them on for the kids. 19-20s cartoons. Yeah, it's cool. I'd like to show it to them and be like, this was, they came out before your grandfather was born. So if I walk into your house, your

children are watching black and white cartoons. Sometimes. But those are, there are some good ones. There are some ones that are just overtly racist. So you are showing them those? No, those are, they don't exist anymore. And I wouldn't show them if they were able to. Just to be very clear. You're indoctrinating your

children i absolutely am not i say i say i show them in a good old times that's what foghorn leghorn would do what a name foghorn leghorn were we hammered coming up with that name we weren't hammered we didn't come up with it i know so it was thanks for letting me know that it was mr looney tune who is that who made the looney tunes mel block who's that you're right about that i know mel blanc was the name he was the voice of uh of bugs bunny mill block sounds like a liquor

and they were probably all drunk Hugh Harmon and Rudolph is is my god a guy name Rudolph by the way if your name's Rudolph guys pack it in your name's Rudolph like you're named after the deer that's so interesting that you say that

because you just had dinner with Giuliani that's not even a good joke is it oh his name is Rudolph but still Yeah, that name sucks Rudolph I know bottom five I haven't spoken to him in a while

But I know a Rudolph Do you? Yeah Call him Rudy People call him Rudy Yeah You can't call him Rudolph You know naming you're a baby

Rudolph Is bananas I mean All names are crazy Do you think about it You can't call him Dolph either Who?

Dolphy Yeah you can call him Dolphy No Because people are gonna think His name is Adolf No Because I need call him Addy Well, I wouldn't do that either

Well, I just wouldn't name them Adolf What's like a really, what's like the top five worst baby names? Rudolph is up there Rudolph got to be up there Gertrude Okay, let's just do men first Okay, Rudolph Kevin

Kevin Kevin, I think it's neutral, it's not horrible But it's so neutral that like it has no bearing on a on a name Can you Google that? Top five worst. Boy names. I'm trying to think of like an old. Oh, like a...

Anfurny. I was close to a lot of things of my name. No, Anthony. I know that there are people that have named their kids. They're not Anthony. I know, but I'm saying, like... I think I'm not a big fan of Eugene. Oh, yeah. Eugene sucks.

Eugene. Eustace. Oh, my God. Eustace. Eustace. Suck. That's an old skinny man. That's an old skinny man.

With that hat, with a kangol, not a kangol. You're just, you're just talking about the guy from Courage, the cowardly dog at his point. I am thinking about that. Yeah. You just moved your hand and a piece of popcorn flew out. Ah!

So we have a lot of fun with this episode. What do you got? They're just so ridiculous. Give me. It's like colon, felony, but it's spelled P.H. Are we in a place where we could do like... Colon. Colon would be a shitty name.

Colin pal! Colin, you idiot. This might be Colin, actually. Colin pal, wait, his name's not colon? It was Colin. I think he's dead, right? Bro, is it not Colin? No, it's Colin. I went my entire life calling him Colin Powell.

You're fucking mean. I didn't know his name was Colin. Dude, he was in the news for several years. You should know it's Colin Powell. Colin Powell. Wait, now, hold on. Now I'm saying it and it doesn't sound right. Look up Colin Powell. Colen Powell pronunciation? Just look at his name.

The requests that we've had for you to Google so far have been out of control. It's colon. It's C-O-L-I-N. That's Colin, I think. Yeah, that is blatantly Colin, and I am blatantly wrong there. That's good. Well, I thought his name was colon. You were wrong. Thank God I didn't meet him. I'd be like, how are you doing, colon?

No, you wouldn't even. You'd go first name when you meet him, Mr. Powell. And he'd say, please call me Colin. And he said, please call me Colin, which would be crazy. Please, please, call me, Colin. Are we moving into a place where, like, modern, like, boy names, like, Jackson and stuff like that. Did those suck yet? That's on one of these. Jackson, Jackson and Braxton?

Yeah, I know a Braxton. I don't hate Braxton. I don't mind it. I like Braxton. I think it's nice because of Tony. Tony Braxton. Yeah. I mean, you can't go wrong.

Todd is on here. Todd. Todd. Todd You know what I don't love Fred But it's shortened for Frederick Like Todd

What does Todd stand short for Todd, Todd, Todd man That ain't it Todd Todd or Todd Rick Todd'sworth

Todd's worth Our names are also Well, your name's not Frank But like Frank and Joe I mean but Joseph It's biblical People will give you a pass Francisco

I think it's a great name I love my name I like Francisco Thank you Francis is bad Franklin sucks nuts too there's a dog in my building named Franklin and I like it for dogs

Yeah just like I like the name George for dog I agree George Albert Albert Albert for like a fat dog That I like Yeah I'm okay with it

I'm trying to think of other Just miserable boy names What about girl names Well we went Gertrude sucks Beth Beth How do we feel about that bad Ant's like really staying quiet

Because he doesn't want to offend anyone Who has these names Is that your mom's name Kim I like Kim It's just a class That's like a classy white woman I like Elizabeth

Elizabeth What about Ruth? What's how a chicken thing? I, Ruth, the jury's out on Ruth. I need to meet a bad Ruth to make me hate it. And I don't think I've ever met a good Ruth. I'm thinking of red, though. Like a red-haired Ruth.

Ruth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see that. What about Dorothy? I kind of like it. Dot, that's the nickname, Dot. I kind of fuck with that. I kind of fuck with Dot. Dot's sick.

Dot, dot, doty. Damn. That's old Doddy over there. Who? Dot. Dot's a sick name. I knew an old bag named Dot back in the day. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew a dot. I knew old bags. Never knew a dot. My grandma's name is Catherine. She was an old bag. That's an old bag. My grandmother was Gloria.

I like Gloria a lot as a name. Gloria is an old woman's name. There's like that like golden era of names that's coming back. Like Barbara. Barbara, Gloria. Ruby is kind of of that time. Pearl. I love Pearl.

Ooh, I kind of like Pearl. Rose. Oh, I like Rose. An honorable mention for bad names, you have to throw Karen in there now, right? Yeah, that's a tough one. If it's 2025 and you're naming your child Karen, you know what you're doing. You know what's a, you know what's an unfortunate one, too? Carol.

I don't mind Carol. I don't like it. I like Carol because it reminds me of Christmas. Christmas Carol. Have you ever gone caroling? I don't think so. Have you caroled? No.

I went caroling once. And? And nothing happened. I will say that. What can you sing? the religious Christmas songs or the fun ones? We sang, well, it wasn't a real caroling.

I was at, I was at Nappy's house. We were like in 7th grade. And like a bunch of us just went because we thought it would be funny. And we just like rang his neighbors like on his block, all their doorbells.

And we would sing Christmas songs, but we don't know all the lyrics to them. Hysterical. We were saying, I knew whatever I said you would say that because you're a mean chicken. And I'm going to spatch cock you. Oh.

Yeah. I'm sweating. Are you? Oh, yeah. Oh, I mean, you're wearing a, I mean, you know. Well, I'm in a jacket and about 40 pounds of makeup and glue. Yeah, you're in a, I mean, all the feathers. The feathers.

The feathers. The feathers are not helping. Yeah. What are you going to do about it? You want to say something like with the bagaac at the end of it? Just give me something. Just give me one good baguac. Like, you want me to just let a bagaac fly?

Yeah, just fucking rip one. Just rip a bagaac. Rip and fucking dip, right? Yeah, move the one. It's like, please move the camera, uh, the mic back. Just rip a good one. And like, look up and do it. Ah!

Ah! How much time do you spend around chickens that you're able to do that? Dude, I'm a good chicken. I'm a funky chicken, baby. You are a good chicken. Anyway, we have some sponsors for today. I'm going to. try and read these as best I can

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you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you could start and end your week with the basement yard. So do yourself the favor. You want to save yourself a couple money while signing up. Go to www. patreon.com slash the basement yard on a web browser and sign up there. If you use a smart app, it's going to take extra money from you. Okay. So go check it out. patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you guys to getting us to over 34,000 maybe closer or 35 i'm not even sure i haven't seen the number lately but we love you we appreciate you thank you and we're almost done with our shows but if you're coming to any of our shows go to the basemnierd.com

submit and submit responses to our questionnaire okay some of the episode some of the portion of the show we like to be interactive we talk to you about you with you if you got cool crazy funny stories there are some of our favorite parts of the shows we want you to be a part of them so go to the basemanyard.com slash submit. Let us know what shows are left that you're coming to. There's not much. And submit a story, an answer. It's going to be fun. It's going to be a good time. We love you. We miss you. We're excited to see you. Ambergog. I, I, in the interest of spooky season, I wrote a scary story. Oh, God, for the mother of God. I wrote a scary story. I wrote a scary story.

that's going to send shivers down your spine, Joey. And it's going to stick with you for all eternity. I'm sweating. Yeah. Are you, you're pittin? Your armpits are a little brown, which is concerning. Why is that concerning? Why would that be brown?

Because of sweat. All right. I'm going to take off my cloth. Yeah. So... They're talons, I think. Ah! Blah!

Thank you. Counting that as two. So I wrote a scary story to send shivers down your spine because I know that it's the season and Joey loves spooky things. So I wrote a story tailored to- Frankie, you literally just said the same thing five times. You wrote a spooky story. Meant to scare you. Are you ready?

Yep. Try not to be scared. I have a feeling this is going to be not scared. It was a muggy day in the swamps of Florida. Oh, God. Joe was staying at a motel. I don't like this at all. I don't like this at all.

With Charlie, and he knew it was time to start his day. Wait, what? Your scary story is me in a motel in Florida? It's very muggy. Oh, right. Oh, right. He opened his door. He opened his phone, and he wanted a door-dash coffee.

But, ah! His phone was dead. Is this going to... Okay. Huh? So, Joe had to step outside in 95-degree humidity and bring Charlie on a walk to get coffee. That's not how humidity is measured.

95 degrees, 95% humidity. Are you scared yet? Is this the whole, it's going to keep being mundane things that I are mildly inconveniencing? As Joe steps outside, he's hit immediately with the scariest thing he could experience a level 14 on the UV index. What'd you say? Level 14 on the UV index. Oh, oh, I see. That is pretty scary.

Is that even possible? I don't know. That would be scary. Joe panics. Yeah. The fear sets in. He forgot his hipster Brooklyn hat that has a picture of a llama on it. He runs.

He grabs his sunscreen. Oh, no. It's empty. My sunscreen is empty? Yeah. So far, I'm in Florida. taking my dog to go get coffee and the sun's out. So now,

Joe... So now, Joe has to venture out into public. And find a coffee shop, but... It's not a local small business. It's a Starbucks.

That would be scary. I don't like Starbucks. I know. That's why I put it in here. Joe, in an instant, just asked for coffee and was handed an iced coffee for his travel. Nice. Joe, while on his walk, takes four sips. Thank you for doing the sounds.

But, oh, no. After his fourth sip, he begins to feel a rumbling in his tummy. Oh, this is going to start with pooping my pants. This is what's going to happen. Joey looks at the cup, and Charlie begs to find a tree to piss on, and then Joe realizes his worst and nightmare has come true. Oh, no. He was handed a nitro cold brew with whole milk.

In what state do you have to be in? to write something like this. Joe's IBS begins to flare up and he's running with Charlie. I don't have IBS. Charlie is shitting uncontrollably, and then there are hissing cock-shitting. Why is the dog shitting? Because it's a nightmare. Okay.

And he does, even during the day, too. Your talk shits all the time. Charlie shitting uncontrollably and then hissing cockroaches fall out of his butt whose butt? Charlie's that's scary that is right? I tried to write this

thinking of what you are afraid of and what your dreams are normally like what I'm gathering is that you don't know me at all and there's more Joey I bet there is the cockroaches are crawling up Joe's white pasty legs which are beginning to get

sun-kissed I feel like the adjectives weren't needed white pasty however with just enough time to spare Joe finds a dun dun dun public bathroom this is a nightmare now I think I've probably had this nightmare with no stall what would be in there oh just a urinal well I can't I'm not gonna shit in the urinal Unless I was alone and desperate. You are. Did you not hear about your IBS flaring up? You're right.

Joe enters, clutching his Tiffany-stamped Patac-Philippe. I wish. This is no longer a nightmare. This is a dream now. He sits on the rusted toilet seat and feels the rust scrape against his bottom. Why did you get British at the end of that? His bottom. As on the toilet seat.

seat, he begins to relieve himself and takes his phone out of his pocket. It wasn't dead. Oh. It turned on. Yes, son. He stares at his phone as he several missed calls

from his financial planner. Uh-oh. He listens to a voicemail, and he hears, Bitcoin is tanked. Ah! I don't have that much Bitcoin.

Ethereum! Well, I don't have that much crypto. I mean, I have a decent amount of crypto. It's tanked. Right. And all his watches are fake. Now we're back in the nightmare. Now we're back in the nightmare.

Like the Pettec Philippe was fake? Yeah. No. A cold sweat comes over Joe. He now realizes that the market has crashed and he is in potential financial ruin. Yeah. Joe gets up. No toilet paper.

He runs as fast. as he can, sprinting, and he looks down to see he's wearing no pants and it's crapped himself all over again. Where are we going with this part? But as Joe is running, he realizes he's not running fast at all. He's moving in slow motion. And now the worst part of his nightmare has come true. He has lost the ability to run.

at this point I'm very confused now sweaty and sunburn how is there more how Frankie how is there that much Joe is covered in shit

right and has to make it home for the F1 big race a quick change of clothes is required but the only place available that's open is a thrift store.

I've shopped at thrift stores. He opens the door to the thrift store to see that there's a mannequin with only three clothing items available. It should be good. One, a minor league baseball hat. Well, two, a loud patterned shirt.

This feels like a fantasy of yours now. And three, the scariest item of all, cargo shorts. Oh, so it's a combo. between the two of you he must accept that he has to become what has always scared him a person who wears clothing that aren't minimalistic in design he almost lost your hat is that at the end of it it's still going okay joe he used his credit card to buy his clothes

and he's maxed it out because he's in financial room. Oh, because, yep, the market. Now, finally, he's heading home. He avoided a real nightmare and disaster. Which did I avoid? Joe gets back to his place with Charlie, who has spray shit the whole way home.

Thank you for adding that. And he finds a room of smiling kids as he opens the door. That's terrible. And seemingly very illegally, ew. They hand him an espresso martini, but oh no, it tastes like it's been pre-made. And with cold brew coffee again. Oh, now we're back.

Joe has to kick the kids out, but more and more of them keep arriving. He doesn't know where they're coming from. He doesn't know what to do. finally he turns on ESPN and the big F1 race is starting right one by one the room gets more crowded with creepy smiling kids but Joe stares at the TV to avoid eye contact but oh no the cars can't drive fast I'm gonna wait you just tip your cap the f1 cars can't drive fast anymore

what's he going to do how is he going to be happy when will this nightmare end he thinks maybe ordering food will help frank how is there more to this story this is way too long there's not that much more how much is it how much is left

we're on the last couple sentences he thinks ordering food will help But his chicken wings turn into little buffalo-flavored penises. He chews on them. What? That's it. Joe's had enough. He's too terrified.

He knows that leaving the room will stop this nightmare. But in order to leave the room, he needs to say bye to every person in the room. I can't Irish exit. You can't Irish. That's the... Is that where it ended? The end. And that's where it ended.

Got it. When did you write that? I want to know about setting in which. I have a lot of time to myself to think on my car rides to and from. And let's just say that the creative juices were flowing the other day. Right. And I thought what could be the scariest scenarios that I could put you in? Right.

having cold brew coffee with whole milk from Starbucks. Terrifying. Why is that terrifying? I mean, the cold brew. You tell me. I mean. The cold brew would just make my heart go crazy. Yeah.

Uh, having a not Irish exit. We don't have to go through all of them. I understand what you're getting. You got, you got. I wrote down other things that scare you too, having to wait in the general TSA security line.

The general line. Having no pre-check. At this point, that would be very. scary yeah i just i thought i could make something that would really scare the tits off you well i'm just color me taylor teller taylor call you taylor was that scary shara shara what's your name how do you tell me you said that earlier did you like it i hated that absolutely hated that why a child handing me an espresso martini that's been pre-made that was actually the first thing i thought of that the only thing

was like if a child came up to my door and offered me an espresso martini... First of all, they're in my house, apparently, right? Yeah. Right. I just meant it in life, like, in real life. Yeah. If a child offered me an espresso martini at my front door, would I take it? Yes, you would.

I don't know. Stop lying. What is I don't know? The answer is certainly no. I would not. I with confidence can say no. Can you? Maybe if they take a sip first?

I'm not worried about them poisoning me. I'm worried about this child. So you not only want to accept an alcoholic drink from a child. them to consume it in front of you that's a good you're adding you're adding it's good crime you're adding criminal elements yeah i think i'd take it just so they don't happen obviously it's like oh you're a samaritan yeah good i'm a hero got it that's spooky for you did that give you goosebumps joey good gravy lady burgok we do have more this is it's very hard for me to function with the nails i feel like i'm going to break them at any second uh we do have some more sponsors here we

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or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality, prescription required, see website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Again, that is hymns.com slash basement. So there you go, folks. Get my nail out of the way. You like my spooky story? You got a piece of, you got a popcorn in your face. Where? Over there.

No, it's on the other side. Yep, keep going. Keep clawing at it. Go to the more towards your face. Yep, there you go. You got it. Keep going. Keep going.

One more. Give it a good one. One more good one. There you go. You got it. It's on a table now. And there it goes. There you have it, folks.

I think we have an Ankerchief! Ankerchief! I was going to say, a question of the day here is that, oh, no, a toilet in your house becomes sentient.

It could talk to you. It could speak to you. Oh, no. But it absolutely hates when you poop in it. There isn't a question there, by the way. Yeah, that was supposed to be an anchorman. Yeah, quite good.

And where's the question? The question is, are you still pooping in there? First of all, know your fucking roll and shut your mouth toilet. You know what you're there for, bitch. You're gonna get into a screaming argument with your toilet? No, I'm just gonna treat it like my little bitch. But it's your toilet? Yeah.

Yeah. What if it just pleads to you while you're on it? Like, please. Please stop shitting. I hate this. No, no more poop! First of all, it's poop related. I hate this question.

You know that, aunt. Well, then you know what you have to do? you have to do? Just be an adult, and you'll be fine, I think. I'm not an adult. I'm a chicken. Okay? But it does like piss, if that helps. I mean, it does like it? Yeah. Oh, my God, this is some good piss. Well, the only good, the thing is that does usually happen at the same time. Oh, so maybe you can bargain with it. Say, I'll drink more fluids if you let me crump in here once. Crump? Yeah. Take a big, fat one. You take a drum. If a, if a, what are you

doing? I'd probably have to bargain with it now if it's Is it like every toilet speaks? Because then I'll just get a, I'll use another bathroom for a crunk. Every one of your toilets in your house. So I have to go outside of my house. You'd have to go outside your house. What if I... Hell no. What if I wore headphones and I

couldn't hear the screams? You muffled the screams? That's so fucked up. Please stop shitting. I have to. for some reason this is reminding me of human centipede which sucks which it does remind you well that makes sense that movie sucks all three of them which which one would you rather be the front oh if you couldn't what kind of question is that actually that's an easy question

I guess you might as well be the middle might as well that's the worst brother actually is it the worst yeah what do you mean is it yeah it is the end you're just just you're just eating shit yeah and in the middle you're eating it and you're fucking getting your shit lick sounds pretty I'm saying at least you're getting something oh so you're taking it like someone's eating your shit I mean I just don't know which which is better obviously the first is what you want I I mean I don't want to be anywhere on a human centipede thanks let's make that abundantly clear I forgot I would rat if I had to though, I'd be the front.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm saying you can't be that one, obviously. That's so miserable. Maybe the last one is the best because you don't have your butt sewn. I mean, then you're eating how many ever people are in front of you's crap.

Dude. Should we just kill the guy who thought of this? Yeah. It's kind of fucking insane. We should haunt him. Haunt? Haunt. I mean, I can't.

Or can I? That was really good. You like that? That was really good. I'll give him bad eggs. Can I make eggs? Yeah, dude. Chickens make eggs.

Not roosters. Are you a rooster, though? I am not a cock. Right. You're just a... Oh, no, it's hens and roosters. Hens and roosters. So what's a chicken?

Is that... I think that's the genus. The umbrella. That's the brand. So it's, yeah, it's... That's the model. No, that's the make. The model would be hens or roosters.

Right. You know? Yeah. Chicken's like the Ford. I'm falling apart over here. What do you mean? I'm in pain. Why?

I'm hot. I am uncomfortable. You're hot, then you're cold. You're yes, then you know. You're in and you're out. You're up and you're gone. What's that song? That's the song about Katie Perry.

Oh, no, that's a different one where she's like, I was making out chicks. That's I kiss a girl and I like it. Yeah. That was her second hit. Hot and Cold. Yes and no. In, out, up, down. Wrong, right.

Black, white. Fight, break up. Kiss, make up. Right. Yeah. That's a great song because it's opposites. Yeah. Because she's saying, like, I can't read you, dude.

Antonyms, if you go. I can't read you, Justin Trudeau. Right. Well, she can't, yeah. She has her guy now. Yeah, they're dating. That's good. Good for them.

Good for them. People are like, they, people are like, do they like Katie Perry again? Um, they hated her for something. I did see a video. They didn't like she went to. space. Oh, yeah, she did go to that. She was like, everyone.

Allegedly went to space. Oh, boy. Did they go to space? Oh, boy. I don't know. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing here. I did see a video of Katie Perry recently at her concert.

She tried to do like a running slide. Didn't go anywhere. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Uh-oh. I dislocated a nail. Pull it off. She tried to, she tried to, hello.

She tried to do a, like a, not a baseball slide, but like a, like a soccer slide. Like on your knees. Oh, wow, that's... And her knees just stopped dead in the tracks. And she just went straight forward. Yeah. That's bad. I don't know why, like, people were, like, all in on Katie Perry.

And then I think, like, ever since the Super Bowl, people were just like... No, I thought they fucked her at the Super Bowl. After, I'm saying, after the Super Bowl. Oh. And then they were just like, no, no, no, Katie Perry. I don't know. And now people don't like her. I have nothing against Katie Perry.

That was, like, one of my biggest crushes growing up. California girls. My God, I was a man after seeing that. You became a man after you. Yeah. California, California, I mean, she's got, she's got strawberry shortcake tits and she's shooting cream out of them. I mean, how is this even allowed on TV? Yeah, it was basically soft-core porn.

Soft, I mean, I'll tell you, what is it soft? You went hardcore. You went hardcore on that point. Yeah, I did. Oh, come on. Come on. Your wig is starting to fall back. Don't. You're good. You're good. Ha. Yeah, and then.

Who was your first, like, crush? Oh, no, Christina Ritchie. I'm talking about like a little older. Christina Ritchie and Casper. Give me all of them. Like, growing up, I mean, Trist Stratus was in there pretty early on. Okay. A lot of wrestling ones early on.

Tristratus. Let's skip those. Okay. Man. I mean, Kimberly, the pink Power Ranger. Ah. You know, she was up there. Katie Perry was there at a certain point

She got there eventually I remember you liking Taylor Swift I think I did I like Taylor Swift I think she's a pretty woman I think that you said to me I can like recall you saying to me You were like she's very she's such a pretty person Yeah I fully I still stand by that I think I remember that

I think she's a very pretty person Did you have who your celebrity crushes Natalie Portman was up there Oh I like that I like Natalie Portman I think she's a very good looking woman Um, Avril Levine was very... Whoa.

Skatebolevee. That's a different one. Nice. And then, um... You liked girls that wear ties. It was cool. And checkered, checkered socks.

Yeah. And just like, I don't give a fucking fuck. How many times do you? How many times do you get horny going into a hot topic? Oh, man. Probably countless.

Oh, a couple times. You were walking in and you were just like... On your birthday, you went to Paxon. They're just Spencer's. Anyone who worked at Spencer's, Essentially.

Yeah. That's Frank's dream location. Hold on. Hold on. He tried to book his Spencer's for his wedding. I did not. What is it? Oh.

I liked Spencer's when I was a teenager because they had a lot of prank stuff. Yeah. And as a young adult because they had a lot of drinking paraphernalia. Oh. So who else? And I think Spy Kids 3. The Alexa Vega? Is that the one that's in the game?

That's not, spoiler, not real. Like the... This guy's spoiling the Spy Kids 3D! You know what I'm talking about? That girl? I've never seen Spy Kids. Do you know who I'm talking about? Emily Osmond?

No. I don't think that's Emily Osmond. I think she's in Spy Kids two... Three... Wait, you liked a digital woman? I guess it's too deep of a cut. Oh, it was a real person.

But it was like in the game, it turns out she's not a real player. Either way, it's a whole thing. Oh, so they did like a Sixth Sense thing? Yeah, they did. They did do a six sense thing. Wow, did you cry? Like, was this sad?

It did make me think like, oh, all right, Well, I might as well not now Because she's not like her now Because she's not a real person I was confused You saw no value in her Because she was not a real person Right

Well, if I can't have her body If I can't have her Then who cares about her What's the point of even liking her? What's the point of even giving a fuck About this fake-ass woman? Yeah Well, that was your kind of your introduction

to anime. Hintai? Technically, yeah Yeah What was? Fake whatever Well, it was Like a real actor

No, I know No, we know Okay But you immediately saw no value in them because you couldn't see yourself with them. Shigo. Shego. Hell yeah. Okay.

Kim Possible. Guy with taste. That's right. Also, who was the one from Danny Phantom? I don't know. I know who you're talking about. That was also kind of gothy. Yeah, I guess you were into the gotts.

I was really into Roxanne from Goochie movie. Well, duh. Yeah, I thought that's base level. That doesn't count. That was like my dream. Yeah, I mean, duh. Like, that's everybody, you know? I mean, I'll tell you this, that's a nine-year-old boy.

first time I watched Who Frame Roger Rabbit. Holy hell. Come on. I mean, that woke up a whole new side of me when I saw Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit, though, I was kind of like, I could never handle that. Like, that's an old one. You were thinking that way?

I was thinking that, like, that's so much woman, she'll fucking kill me. She'll probably never like me. I remember, like, on, like, the special features that had DVD, it was like. Oh, my God, don't say it. She was drawn to, like, be able to not walk. Like, she, like, physics. would not allow this person to walk. Oh.

Yeah. What about Tinkerbell? Is that weird? It is because I think technically it's a child. Well, they all were child and we were child. No, I think Tinkerbell. I don't know. Roxanne wasn't an adult woman.

Yeah, she was in high school, I think. It's fair. It's very fair. She was older than me, though. Oh, my God, Lola Bunny. Yeah, Lola Bunny. Yeah, Lola Bunny and Space Jam. Yeah, damn.

Joey saw her fucking hit one three-pointer, and he was all in. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I would have to like really find one of the first Patreon episodes that we ever did together, we went through like childhood crushers. Did we? Yeah, it was old, old old. We might want to revisit.

Have you ever hear the thing about the hear me out? Hear me out cake? Yeah, we never did that. I was about to ask if guys ever done one. No, we could do a hear me out cake. Do you have any that you're like, oh, this is probably a weird one, but I like them? I'm sure if I sat and I really committed to coming up with something I can, the only one I could dig off the top of my head so we don't get.

give it away because we'll do it for a patriot episode the dragon from shrek that's a good one she had crazy eyelashes those hips dude hips oh she does shake her ass she fucking wags that wags that shit she kind of does she's got a fucking full crapped in diaper of a butt is that good bah that must be good then mrs puff mrs puff mrs puff that's a crazy one oh you're hoardy That's a good one. It's a good, hear me out. I don't...

Yo, you know what's kind of crazy? Joey's going to come up with Hear Me Out that are just, like, drawn good-looking characters. Like, they need to be like, hear-me-out. This might seem a little crazy. All right, so, I mean, is this a crazy one if I say Sandy Chief? Oh. No. No, I don't think it's crazy.

Like, would Nala? Like, that's a lion. No, that's an obvious one. But it's a lion, you know, so that's a good, hear-me-out. No, that's an obvious one, dude. Nala, when she does the, like, the eyes, like she looks at Simba. What? I don't know.

That made me laugh. You're referencing a specific point. Hear me out. We should do it. We could do a Hear Me Out Cake. Yeah, let's do a Hear Me Out Cake Patreon episode within the next couple weeks. Mine RIP, by the way, but mine used to be Diane Keaton. Not that she's like a hear me out.

Yo, you know what's crazy is we, Beck and I last night watched First Wives Club. I was watching that movie. Diane Keaton reminds me a lot of your mom. Damn, don't tell me. She's got like a regal. like royalty to her. Diane Keaton or my mom? Both. The regal? Yeah. I think your mom has like a regal beauty to her and so did Diane Keaton.

Wow. Well, now I feel we were talking about how I really liked her in a what's that movie. Yeah, I didn't help that. It was just hear me out. Yeah. I mean, it's okay. It's not my hear me out because I think that she was a great looking woman. Right. But I, as a young person, I saw, what's that movie called with her? and Jack Nicholson. Something's got to give. Something's got to give. Or as good as it gets.

I was like, I'm attracted to this woman. Yeah. Let it fly. There was another one that I was really into an older woman. And I was like, gosh. I think Susan Sarandon is a good looking woman. Susie C. That's another good one.

No C. Anywhere in her name. Susie C. Randin, Frank. You're not listening. You know, I like Maggie Smith. Dane Maggie Smith. Oh, that's McGonical. R.I.P.

Yeah. Like fucking secret garden, dude I was like, chill. You wanted her to go into your secret garden. I wanted to, well, what's that mean? You wanted her to eat your butt. Oh, I wasn't necessarily thinking all that. Yeah.

Not the deeds of that, but. Not, not. You didn't get that far into it. No, no, no. But I was thinking about gardens. I love that movie because they have like one of those old keys. I love old keys, dude. And like, look with my hand.

Like, imagine I had my hand on a key and I was able to just like turn. Dude, that's. terrifying. I know. That's a really scary picture. I do wish we had a very old key that you could just hold. I wish I had a key or a lantern. What are you doing here? Kids. You know? That would be scary. Dude, you're actually scary. Yeah. You're actually really scary. Thank you. You're like, not like most girls. You're like really scary. You're really cool. You're like cool, but also like really spooky. The thing about me is that like I actually like football. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Beer, please. Beer, please. Buffalo wings.

Buffalo wings, make them filthy. Make it... Get me a Mikolo Ultra and get me a golf club in my hand. Yeah. Excuse me. I asked for mozzarella sticks, not a salad, sir. You're hungry. I am very hungry. Very, very hungry. That popcorn did nothing for me. You ate two pieces of chicken. What do chickens eat? worms worms yeah I look like I eat worms you look like you live with the worms I honestly would eat a worm I think not at no you can't be saying that I think I think like no because when I I've held worms and I'm like I like this and like they look like

they would have a juice you know I mean I think you can if you cleaned up an earthworm really good I think Joey would eat it bro what an existence for worms what is that circle of life baby they eat the dirt they die they supply the dirt and they die and they eat it again that's probably not how the circle goes but the same with us yeah they do you ever hear those things that's like people die and then they use their body as like fertilizer yeah there's things that you could do when you die you get put into like a pod and a tree grows from you i think that's pretty cool i think that's fucking fire i think that's really cool yeah i heard neil de grass tyson say like you die, you get cremated, the fire that is used to burn you,

energy goes out into space and your energy is one with the universe. That's fine. I want Neil deGrasse Tyson to talk at my funeral, if he makes it. If he makes it, do me a favor. Can we get Neil in here? And ask him some questions about life. Let's get Neil in here. We need Neil in here.

Neil. Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Neil get in here. Neil! Come on, Neil! Neil get back! Neil, get down here! I say, I say, Neil, come in here and tell us about the stars and the planets.

Neil, don't make me tell you again, get fucking down here right now, Neil. Neil's from the Bronx, so he might come in here and just start being like, yo, don't fucking talk shit about me, bitch. I'm not talking shit, I want to get fucking Neil in here, bring you a little bull-tile. I think, yo, Neil, call Neil. Neil! Neil! You look like those women that do like the husband-calling competitions at like the Iowa State Fair? Robert?

Robert! Robert! Who's going in there? Who's competing and who's putting it together? Iowans that have nothing better to do. Is it Iowa? I think it is Iowa. God, man.

They're also the ones that have like the pig calling one. Those are great. They're good. That one woman was great at calling pigs. They're good, but also I get such an ick seeing those. Wee! They're like, sir, See see see

Yeah yeah And I'm sitting there as a chicken Like call me bitch Yeah like fucking no one's calling the chickens Fucking call the chicken man Like call me over Damn dude you do like a little fucking I can do I can do

I can Melodize melodify Melodify dies Melodize melodize Melodotides What is it? It ain't any of that Calling a chicken

Right Give me a song No. Any song. You're going to sing it like a chicken? Like if I'm calling a chicken. So like, burn by Usher. You don't know what talent you got?

You don't know what talents you got until you use them. That's a chance. At the chicken, too. Yo, you ever stare at a pigeon and go, what is that? What the fuck? Or when people do that, they hold a chicken and they do that and their head. I love that. I love it. I love that their head doesn't move.

Do you that you can hold me like that and I won't move my head? No. I do sometimes we'll stare at pigeons and I'm like, I don't, like, they need to relax. Like, why can't you just- Chickens are too worked up. Move your head like this. Chickens are too worked up. Chickens, we know.

Maybe we should feed them like CBD. Ooh, give chickens like weed. I was talking about pigeons Oh sure yeah Chickens are mad aggressive with the way that they eat I fed a chicken before and it hurt Yeah it's like bro fucking you'll get it I'm right here

They're a little worried Joey They don't know They're also They're mean They're also aren't they like Famously stupid Chickens Yeah like famously dumb animals

I don't know that Yeah I don't know any animals being smart Except dolphins Dolphins elephants and gorillas yeah octopi are also i believe very smart yo do you remember that fucking documentary of the guy who wanted to

fuck that octopus so bad the octopus teacher everyone talked about it for like a year and no one realized this guy was just horny to have sex with an octopus this guy wanted to rail this octopus he was like oh my god i'm spending so much time everyone's like oh my god this thing is so it's teaching me so much yo his cock was hard the whole time he literally would go every single day into the water and spend like four hours Dude, no one spends that much time with something if they're not trying to have sex with it. He literally had a whole family and was just leaving his family. Could go and like watch an octopus move in the water.

Yeah. And like I think that octopus in the water and in their natural habitat are really cool. Really cool. Yeah. They change like colors and they kind of, you know, whatever. But my God, go watch my octopus teacher on Netflix and you tell me that guy is. Tell me he's not caked up for an octopus. Yeah.

I mean, absolutely bricked like a fucking. How did that end? Did the octopus die? And then he was like sad and shit. I don't remember, but... Probably left his wife. He's like, you'll never be an octopus. Yeah.

He probably got home and he was just like, honey, put this on. And it was just like an octopus costume. And she's like, why? And he's like, it's for work. You have six less arms than I'm comfortable with. See you later. Crazy. Anyway, you know why people get, sometimes we like animals.

Why did I say that? Yeah, also we. You completely took ownership of that. Yeah. Whatever. There you go, folks. Hope you had a great Halloween. Well, it's coming up.

Halloween season is treating you well. We hope that our outfits, our costumes you guys like. Yeah. Da-na-na-na-na-n-n-knit. Inspector Gadgett. That's not a Halloween song. Wait, is that it? I mean, that's not the words, but that is a song for Inspector Gadget.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I haven't seen that in so long. I got excited. What am I thinking of? Oh, the Adam Sandling. Da-da-da-da. I'm going to lose a nail. But yeah, guys, thank you so much for your support on Patreon.

Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard for that. Go follow the show at the basement yard on all social platforms, Frank. And pizza. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Good Lord. What do I? What do you have any more? Oh, my God, all the day! Oh, Calabunga. Damn it.

Pizza. Yeah. Pizza. It's Calabunga. You want to give it one more turn? No. I don't deserve it. Well, I don't deserve it. Well, that is all for this week's episode, folks. Hope you enjoyed. We'll see you next time.

Thank you.