The Basement Yard - #531 - Growing Up In The 90's

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

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Get no frills delivered. Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $2.50 a month. Learn more at pceexpress.ca. Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Oh, we're in, we're in shaggy coat season, aren't we? We're in throw over fleeces, aren't we?

It's a Sherpa. It's a Sherpa season. It's Sherpa time. Yeah. Is that like full, like, oh, I thought it was a quarter zip. I thought you were really giving in to being white. No, she's got a full, she's got a full, and she's got a full diaper. She's got a secret hole. Not secret. Pretty common for, you know, sweatshirts and stuff like that. I love when you can pull stuff out of a secret pocket and you're like, here you go. I'll be honest with you. I love wearing like suits and like sports coats, as they're stupidly called for some reason. No, no sports involved. Uh, blazers. because I love the feeling

of pulling something out of a jacket pocket. Yeah. It just felt cool. It's just always just like, here you go. Like I... I never... Sure, if I smoked cigarettes... Oh my God, it'd be so much cooler now.

If I smoked cigarettes, oh my God, I'd be so cool. I just... Yeah. If I smoked cigarettes, which I haven't and I won't. Me neither. I would want one of those metal books. The metal tins that they... Oh, yeah.

You know, they're like old school white... whores used to have. I would roll my own and be like, yeah, I roll my own tobacco. Oh, no, well, you would. You would and you'd be like I got like a fucking, like a, it's like a, it's a special tobacco that I got from a fucking underground bodega in Brooklyn. No, I, no, or I would smoke it out of a pipe like an old bitch. I knew someone that smoked tobacco out of a pipe fairly frequently. It's cool. It requires a lot of cleaning. You'd be surprised. Like, you need to clean, like, the court. I'm out. I don't want to have too much of that. Too much to, too much to

I mean, I'm smoking tobacco. I need to clean it. Bro, I know it's in there. You know what? A long pipe that you can hold like... Yeah, like I'm Albert Einstein. Just like... But it needs to be corn cob pipe.

What does that mean? They make corn cob pipes. Same question. That's a type of pipe. Should I say again that I don't know? What is it? You're asking for information that I don't have. You've already had.

You had it. I said corn cob pipe. Right. What does it look like? Corn cob pipe. It does kind of look like a corn cob It does You can make a pipe out of corn cob

But it's You can turn anything into a pipe Yeah you remember people that were smoking Oh Yeah yeah yeah Those are cool No I want the fucking long Circular fucking

Oh you want like a like a long pipe that like It looks like a tuba Like racist British men would smoke And then just be like You're not getting into my college Yeah Uh, you know what? I don't mind the... Okay, that long one is a fucking joke.

The crazy long one is a bit much. Yeah, that's a... That one's fine. I mean, we don't know. We don't have context for how long that is. It also said wizard pipe, which I will say, if I could smoke and just have it and then just support the bottom of it.

Yeah. See, now we're getting into my kind of shit. When we're getting into colors, yeah. Get at, when it's like, you know, like purple and pink, it needs to be wood, and it needs to be... would see i i would i would i would i would smoke that pipe he was crazy he was going to say yeah what was i going to say suck that pipe you're going to be something you'd suck that pipe

you'd suck that pipe until there's nothing left yeah i also think just lighting a pipe you know what it you know what it is about cigarettes that's cool that like when you're when someone's you know what i love when someone's about to be murdered and they're like just they're just going to smoke as a no but not scared like now chill they're like all right i'm getting shot so it's kind of like all right fuck you you know what's that from what's i mean i remember in the mask which we've already discussed is a cinematic piece of history when uh reggie kathy's character like when he's about to go wasn't reggie kathy i think it was but and his boy he got shot and they think the mask did and he's like here here here let me light a cigarette and he lights it and it just falls out

his mouth yeah like i don't smoke and i i really think it's bad for you it is but right before you're about to die in like a super dramatic way. Nothing better than smoking. It's kind of sick, that's the time to do it. When you know you're about to be shot in the head, pull out a cigarette and talk some shit. Like, just be like, you know, your mother was a whore. Like, you know, like, that's what

Jesus Christ. So, all right, so can we about to shoot me? So can we make, can we make an agreement? Yeah. If I have to murder you, I'm going to talk so crazily to you. Really? With a cigarette in my mouth? I wasn't going to say, I was saying, like, I'll bring the cigarettes and the murder and the murder weapon and you just smoke.

Maybe bring the matches. They have to be my cigarettes. Oh, you need to pull them out. Or you have them on the table like they're yours and I just take them from you. Because like that's how balls the guy is. That is pretty. And it's just like, I know what's happening right here. And you grab the cigarettes and you do that thing that they do.

Yeah. Where they hit it. And then you take, are you taking one out or are you taking like several? Just one. Really? Yeah. Okay. And then I'm tossing the thing back and just being like.

And then how are you going to be honest. How are you going to do it? Are you smoking it like this? Are you smoking it like this? like this? Are you smoking it like, I don't know how many ways you could talk to something? Are you smoking it like this?

No, no. I think I would just smoke it regular. And then the last one before I'm about to talk shit, like I'll smoke it regularly like this and the last one I'll kind of just do this. Yeah. Oh, so you're going to be a wise guy about it. Yeah. You're going to be a smart piece of shit about it. Yeah. Well then I'm not even going to give you

the satisfaction. You'll be dead before you lit the thing. Yeah, I mean, you should. You should because I will say stuff that will hurt your feelings. Oh, so you're trying to... All right, hold on. So let's roll play this a little bit. Okay? Acting Yard.

We've already gotten through what would happen in the entire situation. I am going... I'm here to kill you. My name is... Give me a scenario. Frank.

My name is Frank. Get the D20 out. We're going to roll this thing. All right. And you... I'm going to get you because you... Mm-hmm.

I found out you were on the Epstein list or something crazy. Wait, what? What? You found out. that I was on the list. Yeah, so I'm going to kill you for it. Okay.

Okay. And who are you? Frank. Yeah. All right. Now, yeah. Cigorous right here. You ready?

Yeah. And maybe closer, so I don't have to get out of that. I mean, you can pretend more closer. Okay. Okay. And action. What year is it? It's been pulled out a revolver.

Yeah. He's sharpening a bow. I have a revolver, dude. Come on, that's the coolest gun to use in handguns. Man, I wouldn't like to... Have you ever shot a revolver? No. It's scary.

Yeah, it kicks your butt? Bro. Really? Handguns are way scarier than... The other ones are scary. But they're harder to shoot, is what I meant. Okay. So it's scarier in, like, if you're going to shoot one.

At a range, at a range. At a range. Let's make that very clear. Yeah. But I have a gun. Yeah. Yeah, you do. So, well, you've got to make me believe that you're actually going to kill me.

You're not going to say anything? I'm going to kill you. Is that what you want? You want me to spell it out for you? That's what Joey would do. Joey would do that. It should be like, it is not super apparent right now that you're actually going to be murdering me. First of all, that sounds like you, bro.

I need to know where you sit right now. Like, tell me about how you're feeling in this moment right here. No, that's you. That's not. So I'm going to kill you. And you're like, okay, when you say you, like, it really depends on your definition of you. Kill is subjective. Yeah, honestly.

We kill on stage. Logically, I don't think you can kill because I've already killed myself emotionally. Because, like, I am, I would just kill himself. Yeah, I am internally dead. So, like, what you are killing is really, it's just a shell. It's just a shell. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

So just, just pantomime how you're grabbing the cigarettes. What kind of cigarettes, too? Because that's a big part of it. I don't know. The harder the better. Okay. Like American Natural. Is that one of them?

It's American Spirit, I think. American Spirit, okay. American Natural. American Big Naturals, I think. Are those the size 36Ds you got in there? You got any big naturals for me? That's how much we don't smoke. Walking to a deli, can I get a pack of the Big Natural?

Big Natural, size 22F. You got any triple D Big Naturals? Yeah, how you doing buddy? Can I get a Gatorade bacon and cheese? I'm gonna get a packet of that big naturals fat naturals right next to right next to the condoms the fat naturals you got right there no no no no no the big what no red pack red pack the big oily natural. Yeah yeah yeah that big oily one sweet how much? Forget it forget it. Dude how about like in Europe when you go buy fucking cigarettes there's like dead people on them yeah they're not very subtle with their messaging I mean

that's good. I agree. Because you're going to get the packaging and you're going to look at someone being like, dude, I'm literally dead. Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, I know. And you're going to I've never, I've never seen them firsthand, but I have seen people post pictures where it's like, it'll be like, I bought these cigarettes. Let's make sure we all call them the same thing over there in London. Yeah, guys. Yeah, guys. This is, in 2020. What are you doing? In 2025, that's what you're using. Yeah, I feel like we're just trying to get away with something now. Nice try. Okay. We see what you're trying to do. Not very nice. Yeah. but but and it's like a picture of like like but we had that too

remember all those truth commercials and it was like the guy that had the yeah fuck what's it called the the speaker yeah no no but there's the like the you know what I'm talking about it's got like a whole esophagus like eczema no that's a disease I think that's disease you get yeah but it's like a trichotomy tracheotomy thank you thank you thank you and he would like like those are fucking terrifying commercials yeah man you know and so he was like talking with like a look like a taser kind of how do those work

i imagine they go off of vibration uh because like you can't you remember we played basketball with someone that had that bro a kid in my middle school had that dude we played basketball there was a kid that would like not frequently kid is you know kind of rough like he was probably in a mid-20s when we were like 18 but like he had he came to like 48th and played basketball with it a couple times wait so maybe i'm thinking of that kid was that was like Hispanic yeah yeah yeah oh so i thought that was most cool but yeah i remember that yeah he must have hit you with the sickest n1 bro he was kind of nice no i mean i can't do we're not gonna make a no we can't do the but he was he legitimately was like a decent

basketball player yeah but he barely like he couldn't like really like talk yeah obviously yeah but i don't think that it was not one of those things that you kind of like he didn't talk but he definitely had like yeah the that was probably just like a thing from birth or something something. I don't know where it came from, but he definitely had it. He definitely had it. Smoked enough cigarettes to... I mean, it could happen at any point. It would also be secondhand smoke. You never know what happened in his household.

Do you remember in a school where they would do like the day of program, whatever? I remember them talking to us about emphysema and they like gave us a straw. A straw. Yeah. And you like try to breathe. Like that's what it's like. I always think about that. Cistic fibrosis apparently feels the same way too. What is that? I don't know.

But I remember there was a sorority on our campus that like everyone had like a you needed to have a philanthropy no stop it was like one philanthropy that they like were like the most dedicated do and did a lot of time with ours was St. Jude

theirs was the I don't remember I think it was just called the cystic fibrosis foundation but same thing it's like they're like breathe through the straw and that's what they feel like breathing all the time yeah that's crazy well MSG was fun

yeah there's no real good way to pivot out of that how do we pivot from cystic fibrosis to madison square garden it's going to be tough dig out of the hole um yeah i guess we're we're uh how long are we like a week out well we can change by the time they see this oh yeah but we're exactly a week this is exactly a week ago today we were in sound check does it feel like closer or further? Like it happened longer? No, it feels

pretty recent for me. Yeah, what about you? It feels a little like, it felt like a while. I think that day was just so long that I'm like... That day was very long. Yeah, we had got to M.Shea at like noon. And... Some of us strewder than others because they forgot what time noon was. Yeah, I thought noon meant 11.

I'm not even going to try and figure out how you get there. um he's 31 anyway uh yeah but that was such a crazy thing man we did Madison square garden um it was wild first of all thank you for everyone that came and and and has watched and shared and posted and blah blah because the reality is we were able to do that because of every single person yeah uh but it was also like i i'm going to be honest with you i cannot i'm so excited to never hear how do you feel about MSG the after party ever again yeah because like it was such a difficult thing to comprehend and like in the moment because like as you were saying i think in the episode before like that had come out on patreon like it was you're excited for the structure of the

day and being busy because it's just going to make the time pass a little bit better there was so much going on and so much that like we had to do both like actively doing stuff and just kind of waiting around as things were happening, that it was hard for the time to not move quickly. Like, I was like, oh, I got here at noon, and then I was like, oh, fuck, it's 7 o'clock already. I just like, I don't know, that was a wild day. Because I remember, like, during soundtrack,

when we first walked out there, they didn't have the seats on the floor set up yet, and you're just kind of looking around at all the other seats, and you're like, holy shit, there's going to be so many people here. And they haven't even set up the chairs yet. so once they set up the chairs then I was like dude did we actually

sell this out like I was like what the fuck because it goes up so high it goes there so many times for Rangers games and I'm like bro this is a lot of people but you're right when we first went there we were standing in under like what is technically the court or the rink depending on what sport

you know you are more familiar in Madison Square gardening with but and like you just see the seats around but then when they put down the seats and I stood on stage and I saw those seats I was like fuck dude like that that is a lot of people just there on the floor and then when you just do this you're like holy shit it was a lot and it was electric yeah man did I tell I didn't even tell you this I told Greg and he's like I'm so glad you didn't tell me that but when a med was on stage I thought I was going to throw up like not even

from nerves but like for me I like the anxiety that you feel right before you go on on stage is not like nerves it's more of just like i'm anxious to go and we had been there all day and i was just ready to like start the show yeah yeah yeah yeah because i didn't want to just sit there and just keep like you know whatever so i just wanted to go and then a med was on stage i know he's like halfway through his set and i was like why like my throat feels like it's closing right now oh so i like went back to the green room and i just like drank some water and then i was just like all right like i'm like i'm good and then we were just like walking out See, I was very much so anticipating it and like, you know, like there are very few shows beforehand that I like, you know, I kind of like get like I sit down or I like, you know, like get into like a like a squatting position almost.

For that one, I felt like I needed to get my legs under me. And then the moment we walked to the steps, it was just like you got it. Like it just like a switch for me just went on. Yeah. And then it felt like just the rest of the show. Like it was obviously because as you had said in anticipation of it, it was. If I had sit there and really, really tried my best to digest the weight and the massive scale of the situation, it was going to fuck me up. Dude, it also, I saw, like, the pictures from, like, all the way back when you could see everything, I was like, bro, if I saw this picture before we went out, I'd probably shit my pants.

Dude, those seem so much bigger from back there. I fucking, it doesn't make, like, I've seen videos and the pictures that, you know, Jimmy and Zimmy and Zach did, and forgive me for forgetting Zach's cousin's name. Fair. Fair. I see those and I'm just like, who, who's that? Like, what is going on here? Like, there was a sense of just like, when you see it at that scale, it

completely fucked me up. And then the video that Mikey put together at the end, I was just like, holy shit, dude. Yeah, it was a lot of frames, dude. That was a lot. Very slow motion. It was slow motion. And that fucking, I'm going to tell you something right now.

if anyone here that is watching this and I hope you all get this opportunity if you want it to perform on a scale that size get confetti yeah you gotta get confetti you gotta get confetti

that confetti was a paid actor let me tell you because it went off perfectly and it fell perfectly and I took some the guy before was like you guys got a lot of confetti I was like really

he said we got four times the normal amount of confetti did you say that I mean I didn't it was too grand I'll say that $2,000 to have confetti. We didn't pick how much confetti.

They were like, do you want confetti? And I was like, how much is it? And I was like, yeah. Oh, I thought Greg put in some kind of like request or order. I was like, confetti or no confetti? I was like, yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if on the back end Greg was just like, I asked them for like, what's their normal amount?

And I said double it. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if he did that. But there was a point when that confetti was falling that I looked out. I was like, oh, I can't see. Couldn't see anything. Not that I could really see because those lights were intense. Yeah. But like, I really couldn't see.

Bro, also, when I, like, was introing you to do poetry and it was a blackout, it was a blackout. I didn't move because I was like, I can't, I will fall. Like, I literally, like, was usually I just start walking towards you when we pass each other. But I was like, I'm going to wait until the light comes on because I legitimately am going to kick over one of these lights up here. Like, I was like, oh, shit, I can't see anything. When I told, excuse me, when Francisco said, like, put your lights up, I was standing back. And I looked out and I saw all the lights in the dome and I was just like holy shit like that place for like a split second was like lit up. Yeah. It was nuts, man. And then I don't know if you felt this way. We had an after party. Thank you Red Bull. That was a lot of fun. We really appreciate it. But I was so spent from the whole day that I was like dragging. I got there and I immediately down like a tequila soda. And I was like I need to wake up. I didn't drink anything when I was there. I got there. And I was like, because I was thinking about. I was thinking about. out how fun that would be and Red Bull was like super helpful with like helping like pick out

a place and they got a photo booth and all this shit so like they're awesome but when when I was walking in to the party for the first time and I saw everyone turn around and look at me I was like oh god this is just going to have to be like like a wedding like you gotta say hi to all the guests yeah that's exactly what it was like it took me an hour to get to my mom dude dude I was trying to get to my mom I literally when we walked in because like the way the place was it was like a little ramp. Yeah. And then like there's people on the sides of it. The bar's right here. And then there's people basically all around the inside and the outside. So like I did have to do that where I had to like stop and say hi to everyone. Yeah. But bro, you know me. Oh, you went to the Irish. You went right

to the back. Well, I want to stay pretty late. Like you stayed until most people were gone. I stayed until 1.30. Yeah. The people that were left because I left maybe like 25 minutes after you. The people that were still there. It was just like we need to let these people have their night. They're clearly try to have a night like yeah i looked over and there were certain people that were just like getting after it and i was like good for you man um i i told you both this but it's a funny story to share for people but when i walked in i recognized i would say like 70% of the people but there was also some people that i didn't recognize but i could see them like talking to like you know the picky boys or i could see them talking to your mom or like so i knew that they were people

that were like in the realm of like oh they were invited in some capacity i might not know them but i know that they should be here right there were certain people that i saw and i was like there's no reason these people should be here there there was some people that like worked at like wm or something not even that i'm just saying people that like clearly like saw that there was a party a party and like just got in line with our friends and family and just made it in yeah well you know it happens yeah i mean whatever there was some dude that came up to me and he was just like dude

dat me up he's like dude I swear to God you look like you do a podcast do a podcast now we're at our after party so I was like yeah all right yeah I do man I was like cool cool what's you guys is his name again

and I was like oh you're serious you know like I thought he was fucking around yeah and he was like yeah do what do you guys I've seen your face all over

in that moment he's probably like does this guy think he's the most famous guy in the world like I don't know you're probably no the kid was like afraid of his own shadow but like I was like yeah you're serious he's like yeah I was like yo you're at our after party like we just we just did a show at Madison Square Garden oh my god I'm so sorry dude he's like I'm so

sorry I'm oh my god he like you know how like Roger Rabbit when he says something dumb he's like no no no and he's like smacking himself in the head with shit I do not know that Never seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit? That was 20 years ago that I saw that. You should watch it. It's incredible. Yeah. But he was like doing that.

I was like, it's all right. You know, I just, who were you here with? You know? Right. Most likely no one.

I had a good time, though. Like, after the first round of hello's, then I was like, all right. Like, now I can kind of like just chill and have a conversation. But,

you know, it was just like, it was a good thing. I mean, I'm glad that we had that because I wanted to see everyone afterwards. Yeah. because we had a before the show we had like our friends and family in this room where they did the press conferences which is pretty cool um but then uh yeah i just wanted to see everyone after it i thought it was cool but i was definitely like exhausted and i think like i slept like 11 hours two days later i think that's when i caught back up and then also mikey got sick great got sick like i think it was like the stress of that day and then just being like oh we're done and then your immune system's like me too and then you just get sick yeah um because

it kind of I felt like I didn't feel sick but I definitely felt so drained like physically drained that I was just like oh man like I I don't think I realized how long like in the Uber home that was like the first time I feel like I breathe all day like I took a real breath yeah yeah that's definitely how I felt like I felt like a sense of relief like yeah the next morning I only slept like five hours I woke up and I woke but I woke up like refreshed immediately yeah and Yeah, I was tired, but I felt good. I also, I did, I did have Burger King and Taco Bell the next day because I was just like, tour's done.

In the same meal? Come on, brother. Me come on. Yeah. Me come on. Yeah. You come on. I came on.

Is it the same? No. So what was breakfast? Bagel. Oh, so you had a bagel and then for lunch. A bacon, egg, and cheese. You had a bacon, egg, and cheese for breakfast. Yes, I did.

Lunch was a wopper. and what else Wopper chicken fries Frank onion rings okay now we're gonna was there a soda

oh of course it was you're leaving stuff out here fountain Coca Cola baby okay so we had a wopper we had onion rings we had a we had a soda yeah what kind of soda

it was a 5,000 calorie day meal like day meal it was a 5,000 calorie day and then and then dinner you're like might as well run it up

yeah and then what was that that was a Taco Bell Yeah, yeah, I'm saying, was it something Supreme? Was there a Supreme? No, it was, you're going to fucking... I'm going to like it. Oh, yeah, you are.

Two cheesy gordita crunches, no Baja sauce. Okay? What the fuck is Baja sauce? It's like their spicy ranch. Oh, I thought that was like some Mountain Dew shit. No, I don't like it. Baja Blast. That's Baja Blast, close enough.

And then a crunch wrap Supreme meal with a Starry, which is Sierra Mist. And it comes with a taco Supreme. What is a taco Supreme? Just a taco, just like a hard shell taco. So you had like four tacos. Yeah. Yes, I did. Listen, man.

I felt, you know, like after all of that and like just did MSG, I was just like, I'm just going to fucking indulge. And how did I indulge? Yeah. On some fast food. Listen, I've said it before. I'll say it again. Of fast food burger joints, number one is Burger King. Of Taco Bell's, Taco Bell's number one.

That's it, man. I ride hard for what I like. like on the taco belt like taco belt like taco balls at the top yeah you know I ride for my mother effing people careful um

but yeah that's a that's a big day it's so funny it's just like there was such a sense of like holy fuck like because I do remember last year someone coming up to us at radio

the sense doing Radio City is crazy yeah that is still insane and then there was a representative at Radio City that came up to us and said like next year the garden right and like our mentality at least i think i could speak on your behalf was just like okay okay you know just like mine definitely was where i was just like right and then now having like look back on that and then just like the two years of touring in its

entirety i was just like i like i felt like i could breathe you know like because it's you know it has its difficulties and it has its stuff like that and then like all the planning that goes into it and you know like i i spoke with francisco the three times slam poetry of the year winner and he shared with me like those poems are stressful to him for him to write yeah so like gone through all of that and then on the back end just coming out of it it's just like so you felt like there was a weight lifted off of your chest without a doubt and then you put a i put a five tacos on top he's like you know i felt like this weight lifted off my chest and then i and then i just put an iv of bahaw sauce in me hell yeah well no baha sauce

You know the law. No Baja sauce. I absolutely did, you know. Listen, man, I am just trying to- Did you cry? Did I cry afterward? Like, maybe not that night, but like another night? Uh, before it, I did. Before MSG you throw? Before MSG, I had some emotional moments with Becca, you know. Uh-huh. Actually, that's not true.

Beka wrote a very sweet post for me that, you know, just kind of like looking back on tour and what it is. Oh, you said, I think said poster. I was like, what? She wrote me a poster. No, that definitely made me cry. Just, you know, kind of looking back on that. That was after, no? That's after. That's what I'm saying.

Oh, okay. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, that got me. But before you said. Before I had some moments. Okay. You know, I had Altor, to be, you know, really honest. Like, there were some moments, you know, because of the weight of it all and the, just like the enormity of it all.

And, you know, the Taco Bell of it all, you know, it was just so much. It was just so much like. Did you cry? Baja moments. Yeah. You were, can I share? Good. How you were after the show?

One word. Oh, I mean, emotional is the word. Silent. That's the word, too. I walked into the room after, and I went, oh. Yeah. It is so quiet. You got emotional.

For a second. For a second. For a second. Relax. For a second. No, because it's like, I understand you guys getting super emotional. But I walk into the room, and it was so quiet. I went, oh.

And I just sat in between you guys and we're just, I get it. We're just living in it. After the show was over, like, we went back to the green room and I just sat on the couch and I just like couldn't talk and it was just me and Ahmed at one point and Ahmed was like I think he was crying

because he had his hands like this and I can kind of hear like him breathing a little heavy and I was like he was probably crying and I was just sitting there and it was such a weird feeling and it's never like this after a show like usually it's like all right cool that was nice or whatever

and we were just all dead silent like after it is like yo that was crazy after I would say the VAT like 99% of the shows we're tired And we're trying to eat And we're trying to go to sleep

Like that's what it is But there was There was definitely more of like You could hear a pin drop in that room Yeah, it was very quiet And Joey Like you were, I think Like I came up to you

And I was like, you are right And you was like, and I was like Okay, he's Yeah, I was definitely like processing Like I wasn't like emotional yet Like I wasn't emotional yet But then the next morning I was in bed

And I watched some fucking TikTok From some fucking asshole who was videotaping me when the confetti was falling and they like wrote some shit and whatever and then I saw some comments of people saying just like really nice stuff and then I was just like oh god and it just that's when it actually came out and I was just like crying

like legitimately in my bed like damn dude like that happened yesterday but that's it like that's another day at the office can a white boy cry a little bit goddamn what come on keep going keep going while you're at it what should keep going

How else is it hard to be a white boy? Come on, white boy. Come on, little white boy. It was insane. You know, all the people that have been posting on social media, like, that TikTok algorithm, it works, like, over time. Like, once you watch one. Oh my god, there was like a bunch of them.

You're, you're, uh, you're doing, you're massaging the mic a lot. My bad, my bad. You're good, you're good. I'm just making sure. Dude, this is this good? Am I fucking this up, dude? No. You actually are.

Just, you know, just trying to do my job over here. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Yeah, no, there were... Job. Now you got it started again. Sorry. No, there was...

Wait, are we editing that out? No, we don't have to. Oh, okay. Oh, you're going to keep my double gawk gawk in there? Well, now people deserve to have that. Well, yeah, I guess I should... People deserve to have that now. No, they don't deserve to have it.

I'm making it worse. I'm making it worse. Like, there were a lot of, like, people just like you know like there were several that I saw that were just like someone's face hysterically crying and then they turn the camera and it's the confetti going off and shit like that and I think that's like if I could be non-joking me for sec I think one of the things that I consider us to be very lucky with is like I really do feel like we shared that moment with the people that put us there like the people that

that sat in the seats the people that came to any of our shows the people that haven't been able to make it to the shows like that is really a testament like us getting that opportunity is a testament to like doing it with those people and like they feel emotional about it and it is emotional because we we've kind of like shared that with them am i crazy for thinking that no like i think i've said that before i think at the end of some shows maybe that was like the first year of tour but it's interesting because it feels like yes these people are like fans of our show and stuff like that but also the things that they say that people have said to me or said to you or that I see online there's like a care in there like in in the way that they're supportive and

what they're saying is like you know I'm just so happy for you guys and I'm so proud of you guys for doing this thing and whatever and that feels different you know because like I'm fans of people and like, I guess in ways I'm like, but I'm not proud of... But you'd never tell Noah Kahan that you're proud of him. Right. Like, I'm not like, I'm not proud of Noah Kahn. Hey, Aaron, Judge, I'm proud of you. Yeah, you know, like, because I mean, I don't know.

It feels like a different thing. But when people say that, it's like, I can feel that. It feels more personal, absolutely. Yeah, it does. And I think it's because, like... I am proud of you, Noah. You too, Aaron? A dog.

Also, I announced. on stage that he won his third MVP yeah and then I fuck it my friends thought I was serious because I was like and Aaron Judge is here actually yeah that would have been bananas boss was like bro I don't know you're doing the garden anything nothing's off the book fair that is fair

but I think it's because like the way in which like the road and the path that has brought us to that stage has been just kind of like a bit of transparency like we're on the show and we're kind of being ourselves and just bullshitting as normal people so like it's easier for people to connect with that

and maybe I mean maybe that's like when you look at like and this is not me taken away from people that have you know found their way in other forms of art whether it be acting theater TV you know music but like

you're getting a polished version of them and whatever you like them in so like if we use like give me your favorite movie Shawshank Redemption Okay okay sure Shawshake Redemption I was gonna make a joke you bet

bastard but trolls too I was gonna say Django Unchained You know it's crazy? It's a great movie No actually my favorite movie is in glorious bastards Okay Well you you sit you don't consider it a drama I mean it is a drama but I know you're trying to do a tragedy is what you consider right

But like if you see Brad Pitt's a bad example But like if you were to see Christoph Wals You wouldn't say like I'm proud of you You know because like you're getting just a version of The character that you like so like the fact that it's us and we're doing it together it's pretty cool yeah am i wrong for thinking that was a terrible example it's a horrible okay okay okay i thought because i didn't know i didn't know i thought it was really bad example why is that a bad example because like it's not as much emotional connection

as like but that's what i'm saying like there are people that certain people here that feel a huge connection to inglorious bastards right right right right right right i do like you know what I'm saying like if fucking like Jennifer Lawrence wins best actress it's like they're doing that but like when someone sees them if they're like I'm proud of you it's like oh you're just saying you're proud of the like the performance and the character not like you don't really know the person like it's us on that stage you know better closer but not there not there repeating not just different actor I think I'm making great sense and that's all I know what you're saying I know what you're saying but I think it's just because people have been along

the journey i i don't necessarily think it's like like if people knew jennifer lawrence when she like first started doing like a theater or a play like those people being like i'm proud of you yeah and it feels like we've just like we it was a slow thing did i not say that well before when i said like it's about the journey well i don't know but then you went like oh if this random insert random celebrity goes random hey right right right right enough okay i didn't think you were gonna say that that was so funny am i crazy for thinking that's a horrible example Hey, guess what? I appreciate transparency, the honesty, and the criticism.

I don't appreciate that part of it. I appreciate all the... But stroke my ego, please. Right. You saw how Joey was doing that two-handed before? Do that to my ego. I do it with one hand. I don't know if that's better or worse.

I don't know. But... You know, we... The moment that we did have on the stage of Madison Square Garden was all speaking, another square space, which... this podcast is sponsored by. This guy is such a fucking pro, dude. Squarespace is a website where you can build your website.

Okay, so if you're going to build a website, you have e-commerce business, or you make content, or you have anything that you want to show off to people, you need a professional-looking website because it is your first impression. People are going to come to your website, they're going to trust you or they're going to go, this doesn't look too good. I'm out, you know? So you want it to look professional. Squarespace is going to help you get that up and running

and give you all the necessary tools to make sure that it's functioning, and you can tell where all the people are coming from, where the traffic is, and how to increase your traffic, and you have all your analytics all in one place. And like I said, can build your website and run your website through Squarespace. We do that for all of our websites, we use Squarespace. So for anyone out there that would like to use this,

you can head to Squarespace.com slash basement. You will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. Again, that is Squarespace.com slash basement, and you will save 10% off of your website. your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement. But like I said, Squarespace is the platform that we use for all of our websites. So get out there and get to it. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy.

BetterHelp has been a sponsor of us for many years. But if you want to get into therapy, which I suggest that everyone should be in it, honestly, I think that it's done wonders for me. And, you know, it's not always like, you know, every session is this thing where you're talking about something dramatic and you're crying and I think that people that's kind of their view but it is just very helpful to have a third party that you can kind of just talk to very transparent transparently you don't have to worry about this person sort of using that against you or whatever they're your therapist it's it's it feels good to let go of a lot of stuff like that so I suggest everyone is in it

and better help they make it very easy to onboard with a therapist you could do so in just under 48 hours and you can switch from therapists and therapists to find the right fit for you because that is like the most important thing in my opinion um but yeah so this is like a great thing if you want to get hooked up with one of their 30,000 therapists uh you can do so uh and this you can get 10% off of your first month at better help uh betterhelp.com slash basem yard okay so that is better help spelled b-et-t-t-e-r-h-l-com slash basmeyard to get 10% off all right so if you I want to jump into the world of therapy. There's your sign.

Are you done? Yep. You want me to talk now. You want me to talk about my things, right? How about I tell them about Patreon? Is that what you want? That's kind of the... You want me to tell them about patreon.com slash the basement area

where they can go up and they can sign up for our Patreon service, where if they sign up for that first year, they get weekly episodes one week in advance. Is that what you want? Or do you want me to tell them about if they sign up for that second tier, Joey? They get exclusive episodes every single Friday so they can start and end their week with the basement. Yard, more of us. Is that what they want? Is that what you want? You forced me into a thing here.

Oh, and let me guess. You want me to tell them that if they go to this, the web URL and a web browser and go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and sign up using that HTML code that they're going to be able to fucking save some money, I'm going to tell them about that. Because I want these people to save money. Because I'm going to tell them that if they use the smart apps, these tech overlords are going to take extra money from them. So if they go and they go to a web browser, they save themselves some money signing up for patreon.com slash a basement yard that's what i'm gonna do joe such an interesting approach approach to what you said web browser back there that's what it is you said oh smart apps that was another one that's a smart app god that's so bad what's bad about it being a

smart app what's bad about it being a smart app yeah oh man web browser Is my right I was going to say Are you opening up a conversation Are you right kids? Yeah, what were you saying? She's just giving a tad bit of unk status over there Yeah, it is

I could be unk You could be Who's older than that? Pop O.G. I could be OG unk I think that's Shannon Sharp Right?

Are we talking about him yet? What is your hands? Pulled back Yeah, what are you talking about? Didn't he? I think he was acquitted. I could be making that up. Okay. What is he? I didn't

Yeah. Quick little Go to your favorite web browser and Google him, Joe. My favorite my search. Go to askjeeves.com. Damn, what happened to ask Jeeves? I think it's still around, but it's just Like a dog shit, like Bing. No offense, Bing.

Why you're saying it's so hard? I don't know what this is. Wait, you don't know what Axeves is? You've never heard of Ask Jeeves? Yeah, we're old. How do I spell it? Jeeves. Try to spell it. It's Jeeves. It's spelled Jeeves. Oh, G? It's Jeeves, not Jeeves?

I think it's just ask.com. It's just ask.com now. Oh. They got rid of Jeeve. They got rid of Jeeves. That's a cat. I think it's a link. They got rid of Jeeves.

Oh, that's kind of disrespectful. Can you still ask Jeeves? So what do I do? Ask. Ask. Ask.com where Jeeves go? Say where is fucking Jeeves? Some Askjeeves.com. Ask the Jeeves.

Where is Jeeves? Where is Jeeves? Jeeves. What is this? It's a, it's a, Worcester and Jeeves. Worcester and Jeeves. Jeeves went to hung out with somebody else.

Worcester. Type in Axeves and then go to Google Images. We got to find Jeeves. He was an old white British butler. Go to XIVs. I can't believe you are this inept. Click on that. This.

No, yes. And just type in Axeves. If it just reroutes us. Don't go to a website. You're typing in the website. Type in. type in ask yes go to ask jeez your instructions are very there he is jeeves oh he's getting a back massage from someone oh whoa what's going oh jeeves why everyone stopped

asking jeeves speak for yourself me and jeeves get asked all time this was what was that his gun jammed this is what people asked before they asked fucking dumbass chap GPT that was jeeps that jeeps was a human look go to the left all the way to the left all the way the left. Yeah, that's what the website. Oh, look, they literally just said what I said out on that. Oh, wow. Why is it butter yellow? That was the internet back in the day, baby. That was the internet color back in the day. So this was like a search engine. You would just type like anything you were like Jeeves. Why the hell is ants fucking so hot? Right. He saved it there. He did. But why would G, like, what did Jeeves answer? Anything. Like, it was like Google. It was like

Google. He wouldn't be like, hey, it's me Jeeves. I got an answer for you. Like, it was just a website. But they had a mascot. Remember Clippy? That's cheap. That fuck. Clippy, Microsoft Word. Yes, baby. Yeah. Do you know him? Clippy?

Yeah. Yo, we should do an episode. What's going on with you? Hold on. We should do an episode. You know what Picks is? Do you know Picks? Is that what it's called? No, it ain't. Kid Picks.

I don't want to Google Kid Picks. Oh, yeah, that's bad. Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. It's with an X, which I don't know. One X. One X. Not three Xs. Not three Xs. Type in Kid Picks with an X.

One word. be careful we could run out of here kid picks like this yes yes yes yes yes yes yes that's a wild reaction we're looking at kid picks i know take it easy dude so there is a whole i just realized there is a whole generation of stuff that we experienced as a kid that aunt didn't we can do an episode look yeah you never had kid picks you never had kid picks so look look look you see you see in a circle that was when you blew it up so like you would draw stuff on here right and then you you and then into that's even late though to that's that's a more we need the more

primitive kid picks that's the first picture go to RGB rules no Rupert's yeah I guess it is but also red green blue it's red green yeah I mean hey but RGB she she ruled and shot technically my definition she did but if you would do this you would draw that right then you would take a bomb and you would click and it would do this bomb and it would be stick it dynamite go to YouTube I think I faintly remember this You don't know Kid Picks! You don't know Kid Picks!

This is not even a joke. You were born in 97, right? Yes, sir. We were playing with Kid Picks the computer game. Yeah. When you were born. Man, that's a bad name for a company. They clearly didn't have a benefit of foresight on their...

Kid Picks. Kid Picks is crazy. Dude, just go like Google, go to YouTube and just type in Kid Picks Dynamite. Also bad. I don't think Kid pics that are dynamite Type in kid pics that are so Dynamite

Um Go Am I My favorite app Kid pics And it's dynamite And it's fucking Oh I would use it every day

My kid picks There wasn't a day That I could wake up Without kids Every day in school I'd go to the computer Imagine being a teacher At that point in time

And just being like Hey, we're going to do something in school today. What is it? Get on the computer. I've got kid picks for you. What is this? Go down. Kid Picks 4.

No, 2004's too late, baby. I don't know if we're going to find. No, that one. These videos are all 17 minutes long. Yeah, it's way too long. No, there's a 430. You don't need to do the whole thing, but scrub through it. Scrub a dub-dub.

Find that fucking... There's an ad. Oh, fucking advertisement. Now they want free plugs. It's crazy, dude. Look at this, baby. This is kid picks. This is kid picks.

Look, you can have a stamp. And they would make sounds like, Yeah, and then you can do straight lines. You're just narrating. Look at that. Look at the hands, dude. Ding dong. Yeah, that was a ding-dong!

I forgot about that. There was multiple ways to erase, and one of them was a ding-dong, and then it would open, be like, yo, my shit is gone. Yeah, and they would do shapes, and look, oh, I love this. Yeah. Oh, the gay, the gays color. color. Come on, man.

I'm not kidding. I thought the doorbell rang. We don't have a doorbell. This is such, like this is when. Oh, don't get Frank started. When companies were playful. No, but like look at how fun. Oh, go back.

When they erase. I need to see how they erase again. That one's ass. That was so asses balls. That was so asses balls. Go back. Go back. Go back.

Here we go. Watch this. Watch. Oh, that's how to go one. That was all right. on there. What hell was that? Yeah, that was kind of freaky, bro. That one was whack. I don't even want to see this. I'm disgusted about it.

If I don't see the dynamite, I'm going to be so fucking mad, dude. I need to see the goddamn dynamite. Did they bury the dynamite because they know we want to see the dynamite? I think there's no dynamite. Go back. There was a circular one that was circle. That was this, this. Go to this. No, I think they drew that. No, this is another one. It's like a bomb that comes in. Boom. And it erases. That one's kind of cool.

That's fucking up my eyes, brother. It's going to give kids. Yeah. If anyone suffered from some form of epilepsy. There will be no picks left. Do they have Kid Picks the computer game available today? Make sure you say the full name. See if they have it. Because I remember I'd go home and I'd open Microsoft Paint and it was so fucking dumb.

It'd be like, oh, I can draw with a pencil? So can I play with Kid Picks with an X today? Just write Kid Picks. Yo, don't say that. Don't write that. Just write Kid Picks 2025. I can't. I mean, listen, there's a lot of...

See, why do they do this to us? I hate the name of this company. Uh, likely refers to the VTek Kill Kidpix 3D. Yeah, try that. Don't, 3D Kidpix, don't do that. So this is probably the new, a 15 day trial. I did realize clicking on that could have been. Also, what website is this, Machiev?

Yeah, I, I, this feels, this feels like we're getting. Oh, Kid Picks. I don't, it's the website. It's the official website. No, I've been, my mom has been caught with this before. Social security thing. So your mom's been called with Kid Picks. No, that was, that was not good.

That was never, what is she getting caught with? Like, she's giving her social security, I don't know. Oh, I got to scam stuff. Oh, yeah, I think it happened to my mom, too. Your mom, your kid picks. But there were so many, so you don't know, so you don't know about, uh, go to clipy, type in clip. Clippy.

You don't know Clippy for Microsoft Word? This little invasive bastard, I'd be trying to put something in word art. You don't know Clippy, bro? I've seen, I've seen this. And he would pop up and he'd be like, looks like you're making a poster board. Let me tell you about this. Like, dude, I'm just trying to. to write the scientific method.

I mean, I've, I've, like, I've leaned on Clippy, like, a few times in my life. Be honest with something. Be really fucking honest with something. When you were in, like, middle school or high school, did you ever plagiarized? Be honest. Bro.

I would say 68% of my entire academic career was not me. Okay. I mean, when I got to college, they had, like, the web, like portals that like you had to upload your paper to and they would come back and be like, you're good or like, you're not.

But I remember in sixth grade, I did a paper and I'm not kidding. It was the Wikipedia entry, just copy and paste it to the paper. Like not even... Sixth grade, you think you're so smart. I mean, and the teacher's going to look at it and be like,

what? No, I didn't get caught for it. What? Yeah. So she was like, what? Who was your sixth grade team? I'm not going to say her name. That was 141, though?

Yeah, it was. Yeah, that checks. That was the same one that called me disgusting. Like, you disgust me? In a sixth grader? Yeah, because I had told her, like, the reason I miss a month of homework is because my grandfather died. Yeah, you are disgusting, though. But she's not supposed to say that.

But I did. My grandfather did die. Yeah, 10 years prior. Three. That's no, more, more like six. Yeah. No kid picks for you, buddy. That's fine.

You want to get this one upset? Take away to kid picks. Come on. See, why do you got to do it? do that. Why you got to do all that, Joey? With the next. With the X. I just, there's so much. With an X. One X! So, like, you didn't have a goosebumps

book. I had goosebumps books. Yeah, you got to feel, though. You had to feel like the ones that were, like, ribbed. Oh, like, when a monster blood, or, like, the one with, like, the dad's, like, hand was on it, where it was, like, stay out the basement. The one that had, like, the purple goo, I'm like, oh, it's ribbed for her pleasure.

Like, you can kind of feel it in your hands. Yeah, yeah. I like the one that was just, like, say cheese or die. and it's like the Polaroid of just like the skeletons and he's like cooking and shit like that. Yo, those were like trading cards back in the day and I know you're thinking, yes, I've looked into eBay listings

to get like OG first edition goosebumps books. You remember when a fucking Captain Underpants was mad popular? Yo, that was a big, like I read those books. You, I like bartered one out of Sclassic Book Fair once. I was like, yo, I only got like a dollar and like a fucking eraser. Like, give me this fucking book. Well, back in the day, a dollar got you fucking like,

A whole, like, Christmas season's worth of gifts for your family. Like, I remember I'd come home with that little white bag that looks like they're from the dentist. You know what I'm talking about? I do. And I'd be like, all right, so I got Chris, a thing of flime. I got Jessica and a raither. All right. I got mom.

Oh, shit, the slime. Yeah, they would have little cups. Like, they were, like, little, like. And, like, glittery kind of. Yeah, they were hard. And they smelled so good. I don't remember the stink of them. There was certain slimes that were stinky.

Yeah? Yeah. They were, like, wet and farty and stinky. Whoa. I read goosebumps, and as soon as it said, oh, if you pick this thing, go to this page, I said, this is too complicated. I stopped reading. Taking small direction, which is a little too much for you. You could choose, like, I choose your own adventure goosebumps.

Yeah. If you went left, go to page 400. Yeah, it literally would be like you'd read five pages, and it'd be like you can either go to page 45 or you can go to page six. Just give me the monsters. Yeah. I mean, they were all over the place. There were monsters everywhere. R.L. Stein.

When I picture, I have no idea what that guy looks like. You don't, dude, you don't know what Arl Stein looks like. I don't know if I want to know. Do I want to know? Well, what do you imagine? Wait, no, Joey, close your eyes. Look up a picture of R.L. Stein and then look up a picture of some other random person. I guarantee he'll know who R.L. Stein is. I'm sure he looks like how I think he looks like.

He looks like R.L. Stein, brother. Like, there's no way. And this is a... Look up R.L. Stein. Let's take a look at this. Do you know that he has sold more books than Stephen King? Really? Yeah, that's about right. Is he in the intro?

Am I bugging? He's in some of the shows where he's just like, I'm Arrestine. Robert Lawrence Stein. Stephen King looks like Stephen King. Yeah. Dude, talk about cocaine. Stephen King. Some of his books are fucking out there, brother.

Why do these guys look like the books? You know what I'm saying? I guess, you know, like you find that they get popular some way, and then you see them and you just kind of like... Type in Goose. Goosebums Skeleton book. It's no, say cheese and die. Is that the one?

Yeah, you don't need to go through. I know what it is. There was say cheese and die. Type that in. Gooseump's skeleton? Just go to Goosebump's covers. And you'll see all the ones and you'll be like, I'll tell you what I thought R. Al Stein looked like.

I stole one of these books from Lauren. Lauren Bet? Yeah, LB's. LBs. I don't know if this is what we wanted. No. Why not? There was, I remember there being a cover where there was like a skeleton on it.

it or a mummy maybe i mean there was a mummy book no this isn't oh my god that fucking guys face say cheese or die that's the first one look at it i don't like it scares me this one yeah oh that's not the one i'm thinking of there was one where it was like a mummy or something and he was like looking like this and i was like that's what i think arl stein looks like a mummy i mean that's pretty pretty good it is pretty good camp jelly jam i remember that one that i don't like when things are drawn like that where it's like people are smiling really hard and their eyes are open. I don't like that. Goosebum freaks me up. Dude, so fucking good. Do you think that goosebumps would be successful if their books weren't ribbed for her pleasure? No way. I don't think so.

Absolutely not. No, a big part of, a big part of what made goosebumps successful was like how much effort they put into the aesthetics of this book. The rib. The rib. And like also, not even just that, but like the pages being like basically made of just like papyrus. Yeah, I fucked with it. Like it, like you open that book and you smell it. Like books aren't made with that shit no more. Yeah, I don't like this. I don't like modern books. I mean either. I miss when they smell like shit. Dude, I love opening a book and just be like, I don't know if this was printed last year or in fucking 1501. Yeah, dude, I feel like back in the day I would walk into a library and I'd like, you know, it smells like diarrhea. But like good. Good. Yo, I'm not even

like a book diarrhea. And I knew like when I walked into a library, I knew that it was the stinkiest, safest, safest place on her. Yeah. And then the librarian was. walked over, she smelled like shit. Yeah, she was a bitch, too. She smelled, she's a mean, mean person that could have had a dirty diaper. Probably. But the love of books.

She was mean, but good. We're dealing with books, my guy. We can't have someone soft in here. Like the Dewey Decimal system is about. Bro, the Dewey Decimal system is not meant to be fucked with. And I don't, I don't know it. I don't know it. I don't know it. I'll never learn it.

Is it just decimals? What is the Dewey? Who's Dewey? Why does he have his own? decimal system and how do we as the basement yard get our own numeric system? I just miss when books are fucking filthy bastards. They smell like money kind of. I love, dude, I love when people would slam a book down and it would just look like dust. Yeah. Like it was just an old fat, stupid book that you know just like you, if you open that thing,

you're like, who had this? Do kids still have textbooks? This is a crazy, like, it's a great question. That's a great question. It's a very disconnected question, but like, do kids still have textbooks? because I used to love textbooks too. One of the best parts were like opening up and for whatever reason I'm like in high school I'd be looking for like a famous person's name

like oh is Brad Pitt use this book like I don't know anyone Oh yeah I thought you were going to say like you open to like a random page and you'll find a funny picture and it'll be like yo turn to page 61 and it's like it's a penis Yeah oh man

but like a random dick drawn on page 14 Dude this is part of being a child Dude handed down textbooks was so... Book sucks! Bro! You see how he just jumps there. Book socks!

I remember a book sock. Yo, those were fire. Some of us, some of us, our mom had to do the fucking cardboard paper, construction paper. Remember, they would be like you have to cover your own book or you're in trouble.

What is that? Fuck you. And it was the librarian who I give her pass because she had a lot going on. That Dewey Decimal System's tough. But get the fuck out of here. Dude, and also you

Remember, like, there was a couple of Asian kids that did this best stationery. Bro, they had this, like, plastic wrap that was so tightly wrapped around this book. I was like, nothing's going to get to this book. Not even just that, but it was like they put it on and then used like a heat gun. Yeah, there was no bubbles, no nothing. It was like, yeah, you're, fuck, what is this? It was crazy. It was honestly crazy, but like, they were book socks.

Love that. Which were basically, it was just spandex for a book. Yeah, it was like, but sometimes you'd wear it as a duress. Some of us I've done that Okay I'm like Yo and then what would you say

And said Dureg Well This was in middle school Gotcha This was peak You know like Don Don Santa Gato Yeah

Tego Santa Gato Nah You know what it is like Back then I feel like my Spanish and black friends Were like We really want to see you

In a do rag So that You know Once a quarter Did it give you Waves? No, it did not. Didn't give you waves?

No, it didn't. Your Duraq did not give you waves? Oh, man. The book sucks, man. Those are great. Damn. Bro, you remember reading logs? I, I, let me tell you something.

My parents have never signed a reading log. That's what I'll say. Oh, I, I mean, I've told you what my approach was. This is great. This is great. You know, I mean, you know what my approach was for the reading logs is I would have my grandmother who, oh, that's a bad one. Wait, well, I thought you were complimenting me exploiting my demented grandma.

Well, I do respect that. I know that sounds bad, but I do. Respect the game. I do respect the game. Wait, but what were you thinking I was going to say? I thought you were going to say that as long as you forge from the beginning, you can't go wrong. Oh, my thought process didn't go that far in fourth grade. My mom has, like, incredible penmanship.

Like, she has like this magical, like, my mom too. Like, you know, whatever. That's because they would beat them in school until they got it right. Yes, absolutely. Which stopped with us. So our handwriting is not as good as there. That's why. That is why our whole generation is sucks.

You want people to have better handwriting? Hit them with a yardstick. You got to let the teachers kick the shit out of the kids. The handwriting will improve. You know what's wrong with this country and the youth? They didn't get their ass whooped by their teachers. Their teacher wasn't beating them with a yardstick. Yeah.

That's why we have failed. That's why we have failed. Who is, you think it's crazy that teachers were paid well and then beaten the shit out of our kids? Listen, what, what do you, what do you think matters more? Perfect handwriting. Penmanship or, and like, trauma. Or, or no trauma and bad handwriting.

Mm-hmm. You tell me. You think, you, trauma, bro, whatever. You got, you probably, you know, you got a few screws loose when you get older and, like, it's hard for you to make relationships because you were beaten by your teacher and then your parents. Teachers need a place, place to blow up. Yeah, they got it. Why in God's name shouldn't it be with their fists and children?

And their children's faces. And children that aren't there. Exactly. And look at how good the handwriting was. You think my grandmother got good handwriting because her teacher was nice to her? No, it was because she was afraid that she was going to gut her like a pig in school. come on guys when I think back to like our parents being like

our teacher used to hit us I'd like I would literally kill my teacher yo if someone touched me bro if I went home today oh man and one of my children said like oh my teacher hit me with a ruler bro I'm coming with I'm driving my car through their living room yeah that's crazy like it's not gonna be a fun

reaction it's crazy my dad would my dad would sign my homework so poorly that the teacher thought that it was me forging it, and then I would get in trouble, and then I would cry. That's fire. Yeah, that's kind of, that's kind of, I mean. That's because your dad didn't get his ass whooped probably. Yeah, what he needed was the yardstick beat his head in.

Your dad, Mr. Yellow, he did not, he did not get his ass whooped enough. Yeah, that's what he needed. But you know what else we need in this world? Or a frame. Okay. Or a frames. You can have pictures of your grandparents. You can have pictures of your grandparents and your favorite.

teachers who helped you in this life but or or frames these are these are great gifts i mean the holidays are coming up and i always suggest this to people i think it's a great gift especially for like a parent or a grandparent or whatever um you know people you don't get to see often but it's a digital frame that you can upload pictures and videos to and then it's kind of like a slideshow so like we got one from my mom last year and you know all the my siblings and i we kind of upload pictures to it so she has it like on her nightstand and then now they have kids and stuff so she gets all these pictures. It's fairly nice. So it's really cool. It's an awesome gift. You can have unlimited photos and video. You can preload some of the photos before you ship

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by mentioning us at checkout. So again, code is basement. You're going to save $35 off at orframes.com. It's a great gift, so enjoy. And we also have Brooklyn Bedding. Okay, Brooklyn Bedding gives you high-end mattress experience without the sky-high price tag. Okay, there's nothing better than having a great mattress. Honestly, sleep is a very important part of all of our lives. So having the right mattress is very important, and they're going to do it for you.

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we were to pull up random like toys or items would you like have no clue what they were if we pull up kidpicks. Yeah. They would have to... Well, he didn't know kid picks, which was huge. They would have to have bled into the early 2000s at least. So, like... I can't think of it.

If I were to give an example, would you know Moon Shoes? Yeah, but Moon Shoes... What's the Skip shit? Skip it. Yep, that's a good name for it. You don't know... Skip it? I don't know.

Type in Skip it. Skip to my loo. Skip it. Skip it. Skip it. Skip it toy is 90s. Yes. You never seen one of these things?

You never say, I'll skip it. You put it around your ankle and it kind of just roll. And then like you kind of go in a circle and you jump over it and you're supposed to see how many times you could skip it. I wasn't good at the skip it. I was never good at skip it. I was also never good at jumping rope. You know, you know bop it. Yeah. Yeah.

You know bock and booppers. What? Sockham booppers. What? The two robots? Those are rock'em sockoms. Those are rock'sockm robots. You don't know the different...

You don't know the different between sock and booppers and rock'sockoms? Rockum sockums does not sockham bockers. does not sock and bock and bockham bockers is when you're bopping someone's sock and bockham rockums rock'em sock'em rock'em's look they're there's giant sockum bock these were something else that i had it wasn't these they were soccer bopper you had an off-brand sockum bopper i think i remember the commercial soccer boppers we could sock all day and bop all night that was the that was the real commercial that was the real commercial between kid picks and that i mean what do we yeah i mean i'm not i'm not i'm not writing these the adults that ruffer

wrote and performed that jingle should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, the 90s are a wild west. These were just a way to just punch your friend in the face and pretend it didn't hurt. Yeah, it absolutely still hurt, by the way. Absolutely. But you did, uh, you did like, uh, what was it, the sock, rock'em, sock'em, bacham. All right, okay. Oh, no, don't start looking at stuff.

You know Polly Pocket? Yeah. Oh, don't piss me off if you didn't know Polly Pocket. We shouldn't look into it. But those are so popular, they transcend, like. Yeah. But see, here's the thing is, I don't want to, like, you start looking into this. Like, I'd rather us pull it up and then, like, see if,

if aunt knows it, or is it not a good full-length episode? I don't know, but, like, we're talking about it now. Yeah. All right, so if I were to say, Betty Spaghetti, you know who we're rocking with? Is that Plato coming out of the hair? No, pretty close, though. I think you're thinking of, like, chia pets? Nope.

No, that's plants. Yeah. You're literally, it's literally, like, Plato when they would, like, put it, and then they'd, like, pull it down, and it was, like, a barber section of Plato. That's what I just said. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I said you're thinking of. Okay.

I know that one? Hit clips. Who? Hit clips. I thought you said clits. Hit clips. I didn't know that in the 90s. Clits?

I would hope not. You were three at oldest. Barely no now. What the f- Oh my God! You don't remember hit clips? I had no... Dude, I forgot what this is called.

They were like 12 to 15 second versions of songs on like a miniature little like thing and you could play it like that. It was hit songs on little clips. Yeah. It was little clips of hit songs. Yeah, they were hit clips. Yeah.

You know, obviously you know what a Furby is. Did you have a Furby? No, never got into that. I had a Furby. I don't like Furby's in my house. They, their eyes, I don't like it. They definitely had eyes. But, like, their eyes were so open.

This is, I mean, this looks. I have so much to talk about guys. These hit, these hit clips. These look 90s. This looks old. This is old as shit. What about yak back? Do you remember a yakback?

What's that? You definitely remember a yak. Jackback. Yeah, it was just like a voice recorder. But you could like talk to it. You could be like, hey, what's up? And then you can distort it to be like a robot. Like, hey, what's up?

No, I don't know what this is. That was a pretty good, like, RFK Jr. there. What did I just do? Hey, what's up? I can't believe you didn't have a jackback. Oh, man. Did you ever have a yo-yo? I could yo-yo.

You can yo-yo? I've walked a dog in my day. Oh, have you? I've never a big walk-the-dog. What's the shit with the triangle? He was like the TikTok clock or something like that. Yeah, I did that one once. A grandfather clock.

I knew someone that was like a legit world champion yo-yoer. Oh. They have had, I know what you're thinking. No sex. They had sex. They have had sex. Not with me. I know people that they've had sex with.

If you're the world champion in anything, it's got to be cool. You'll find somebody. Yeah. Dude, I could imagine. Girl, like, ready. I could imagine. I mean, if you could pull someone being a world champion yo-yower, I imagine that's pretty.

pretty difficult. No, you're the world champion. There's got to be like, there's other people involved? In the scene. Yeah. And you're the best? You're the world champion. Yeah, you'll get Let me teach you how to walk the dog. Like, oh, you want me to bring you around the world, sweetie? That's, I mean, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, you're getting there. No, I can't, I can't He's probably definitely making, as the world champion, you're probably, you got to be making at least a couple hundred bucks. Right, right. A couple dozen bucks, dude. Let me take it around the world. Did you ever, uh, you ever play Cat's Cradle? Like Jacks? Which one is that? the string. That's the yo-yo?

Oh, yeah, that thing, yeah. What is that? I don't know. It was like an old time being speaking up that our fucking, our librarian taught us. She taught us that? Yeah, I remember she taught us that. It was like, and it was like, but you miss Martinez used to bark at us, dude. Really? That was our librarian. I'm not kidding. Whatever happened to women of a certain era that could scream with bass. Yo. That's so true. grade teacher, her name, her last name was Schnezzer. There was, yo, there was, I can, I'm not even kidding.

I can name five teachers in our elementary school that screamed with like the base of Barry White. Bro, Ms. Schnezzer was this old rickety, like, German woman. German woman, but she would let it go like a beast. Dude, I remember, fucking reamed him one. Oh, yeah. And I was like, yo, she got me. She got me. I thought he was going to hit the fucking wall.

She got me. I just wanted to go and play some kid picks. Yeah. And she was mad at him. me. She was pissed. No, and then, do you remember Pogrebin? Pogerman had some pipes on her. She was a thousand also. Bro, this woman was like five foot

zero. Yeah. And she could scream, like fucking the lead singer of Gwar. She literally was like fucking Axel Rose. Yo, she was letting it. And I remember she got low with it. She was like, how? Oh, yo, Miss Lynch.

Bro, there was a teacher. Yo, I'm not. And she had a megaphone. And I'm not. She didn't need it. I'm not convinced she was a real person. I'm telling you right now Thinking back on Miss Lynch From our fucking elementary school cafeteria Yeah

She was created to be a lunch lady Yo she she dead ass was like The mitochondria of that school Powerhouse of the cell baby She literally like she was like in charge of the entire lunchroom And it's like you gotta you gotta really You know be that bitch If you're gonna be if you're gonna be in charge

And she had the whole fucking school listening. You know why, right? Because they could hear her at all time. And you know why, right? Why? She probably got her ass kicked by her teacher. Her teachers beat the shit out of her. Dog walked her. And also... RIP? I imagine. She was fucking 900 when we were kids. That was 30 years ago.

I am... You have to also put yourself in that position. That lunchroom looked like it was built to be a fallout shelter. Yeah. It was Brick. Bricks. I'm talking Brick City. And all the pillars and all the windows had cages on them. Like, yo, this was a prison for little children.

It looked like an insane asylum. Yo, I'm not kidding. Yo, I swear to God, it looked like the scene in Goodberger where they went to the insane asylum. Do you remember that scene? Dude, yes, it looks exactly like that. And then when you go in the bathrooms, anything that was metal in that school, if there was a chip, you would realize this has been painted over one billion times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with like red, lead paint. The reddest paint!

Dude, blood made it. I remember, I used to hate touching the handrails because my hands would smell like just raw iron. There's no way that paint passes any sort of health code test. And zero, zero. I'm not even kidding. It was like, the paint was so caked onto these fucking handrails. It was like, and also the stairs, cage. Cages, stages, bro.

The stages care. I haven't been in there. Can we go back? I would love to. I would love to, like, do a video of us, like, taking a tour of our fucking elementary school. I literally would chip into the handrail and just see. It would look like a jawbreaker, dude. Yo, I couldn't tell if my hand smelled of raw iron or chicken.

That's what that fucking place was like. It was incredible, though. Yeah, but that building could crank out a rectangle pizza. Let me tell you right now. Fuck a rectangle pizza, baby. When that fucking mystery ravioli came out, that was just 48 million ounces of sauce and one ravioli you had a fine. You had the power of the sun in the middle of that raviol. Yes, you did.

And then you had fucking just the voice of all voices, Miss Lynch, just bellowing out. Yo, like, crazy. I'm going to put it in terms of you'll understand. Pokemon. Yeah. Loudred.

Like, this, she had the fucking power on her. That was just like, holy fuck. Like, bro, think about this. You're in a, what feels like an asane asylum, surrounded by children. all the windows have cages you're eating a ravioli that is one million degrees in the center

so you're burning your mouth there's a teacher screaming so loud into a megaphone that is peaking and cracking because her voice is so loud and she's selling pretzels in the middle of the fucking lunchroom and then you're getting a nosebleed

it's like this was my life like that was my life like getting nosebleeds was like all the time oh and I know what you're thinking not hot pretzels maybe ice cold sopping wet pretzels that were covered in

the coarsest, biggest chunks of salt that you have ever seen the first few bites of those pretzels tasted like the cardboard box that they arrived in. Absolutely. And then the last three bites if you made it that far was basically just like licking a Himalayan pink salt lamp. Okay?

And then you look around and their children lined up everywhere. Yeah, for ever reason. Because they would like stagger the lunch periods. Do you remember? Yeah. So like we would get there as like third grade was getting ready to leave. So like we're on the line around the whole room and getting ready to get our food.

And then third graders are just heckling us walking in between just like, oh, you fifth graders are gay. We're just like, we're not gay. Bro. Honestly, I forgot about all that. I, children lined up everywhere. I say, hear me out. Because I know your, your mom used to.

work there. She's probably some connect still, right? Yeah, I imagine. Just get us in there to do a tour. Have him follow us with a camera and we just talk about... I'm sure you remember everything. I'm not kidding. It's like brand... They did a whole giant extension. Did you know that? Dumb, stupid.

Yeah, I'm not into that. I don't want that shit. I also hope they have those old school fucking doorknobs. Those are cool those are cool doorknobs. They were like custom. They weren't like this. This is back when we cared about stuff. Now what? Now what? You're going to have a prefab door that you had a fucking made in a factory in China because it's cheaper? And you bought it at Home Depot.

This is all Shark Tank's fault. Yeah. These were custom knobs that said the name of the school and everything. Knobbs, kid picks, and just screaming short little fucking German women. Why were all of our teachers German? You want to hear something? Pokerbin, Schnezzer. Bro, do you remember?

I mean, I know that you remember. But in that school, you would take one of your friends, not one of your friends, but they'd be like, all right, someone's got to clean the erasers. Because that's when we use chalkboards. There was a dedicated room in the building that was the size of this white thing here. Yo, not a joke. There was a machine that was louder than the German teachers. And you would turn it on and there'd be a thing that goes like this, like a brush. And then you would clean it in there.

The entire room is covered in chalk. and there was no light. No ventilation, no light. We were six years old, hot boxing school school chalk. Yeah, we walked out of there like fucking like, what a rough day in the minds. It was in my lungs and in my eyes and shit. I had another nose bleed. Life was so simple.

I bled from my nose more than anyone who's ever done cocaine in their 20s. Yeah. And they would send the piece of shit kids like me and Joey to go down and do that. And then the cool kids that were three fucking levels ahead and reaving would get to use the big purple sponge on the board to clean the board While all the cool Asian kids have the cool stationery and what do we have just fucking chalk lungs Send them down to the mines go clean the fucking chalk the chalk erasers And then they gave our poor art teacher a room under the stairs in the basement RIP R IP RIP I remember the first day of class for for that teacher we uh we do the

planets that's the last thing I'll say well it's the last thing she probably heard too because she died I know you I was calling God there I'm not gonna say her name yeah no we're not what is wrong with school nowadays I think listen I know you I know how last 20 minutes have been a blur I know how like much you guys have rallied for getting rid of the Department of Education so if I can make if I can make well you just talked about abolishing the department of ed my family lived off the department of ed

if you if I can make one suggestion I say make schools like only use schools that were built in the 1910s so the ones that are filled with asbestos you can get them out sure you can abate them

get kids back in there because there's a sense of just like you need personality in the walls if you just go to school and you're like oh it's just you know a smart board if I find out my kids learning on a white board I'm taking that board and I'm tearing it out did you guys I know you have we had this guy

but like did you have did you ever use a chalkboard growing up yeah so did you get to the point where it was like okay there's these new boards and then in order to use the new boards there was like this whole system where you had to go over and like click the yep I think about that all the time and I'm like oh my god this is like so cool

where you had to like click the X year than the X there. Yeah. I was like, oh, now we can use this thing. Yeah, and they ended up sucking nuts. Oh, my God.

They were not good. It was basically like using an etcher sketch. Yeah, but I remember when we would do like handwriting and it had like the wood block that had like the three metal things on it

and you put the chalk in it and you drag it across. That was my shit. Dude, bring chalkboard back. Why are we all like, dude, as someone that has written on a chalk,

chart. As someone that is written on a chalkboard and a whiteboard, I do not see the value in anything other than a chalkboard. Whiteboards are just too clean. Like, school needs to be gritty. I think you could upload, like, files and stuff. Oh. Paper.

Who cares? I mean, I do like the, like, is chalk bad? Like, I mean, it definitely took some life. I hope up. I hope up. Do you hope up? I hope up. I hope up.

I hope up. I just had a stroke. I hope not. I hope up, you know. I hope up. I hope up and down. What happened to me? I don't know.

I hope not. Yeah. Not up. Look at it up. Is chalkboard's bad for you? Fear. Like, just Google that. Listen, I need to understand something here, my friend.

Okay. Are chalkboards bad for you? order if you eat them how many calories is a chalkboard why aren't they oh like it's not one of the things up there and don't look at the AI answer oh it could be bad for you due to dust it's more the chalk and the dust so they were just fucking basically waterboarding us with chalk fumes they were gassing us with chalk fumes in this building

yeah the chalk dust it's the dust it's the dust which makes sense because I would get that chalk in my lungs and I'd be like I'm not going to lie I can't breathe I would want to eat chalk bro hell yeah just like the crunch of it chalk and sawdust two of my favorites saw we should go we should do a whole episode on the best types of dust chalk dust that's such a bad idea sawdust star dust star dust angel dust oh that's a good dust Pixie dust Is that a thing That's a good one

What's pixie dust Kid pixie dust I think it makes you fly It does Oh you're talking Tinkerbell What about Dust bunnies

But that's not a type of dust That's a type of bunny No Dust bunnies are Dust aren't they Yeah but it's a collection of dust And a collection You're thinking

You're thinking of slaw bunnies What's that What? Slavin these nuts Oh God I got them God I got them I got them I got them so good

of shit. To be fair. To be fair. He said what first. I just followed the what. So he got your slob and knee nuts. I'm still not 100% sure. Oh, slob on these. Yeah. I thought it was like a meme thing. Like slobony. Slobony's nuts got them.

You didn't get me. You didn't get me. Oh, that was good. You did not get me. Thank you for that. You're having fun. What are you writing down even right now? The notes. I can only imagine what that pad looks like at the moment. I have sucking pipe. Okay Killing Joe question mark

MSG recap Add Kid Picks Modern Books 90s toys So far it's been a full episode It's been a great episode Honestly one of our best

Yeah It's definitely an interesting one For sure We're gonna get a whole new Like demographic of people liking our show because we The 90s kids Pro teachers beating the shit out of people

That's how we get the boomers That's what I'm saying We get the boomers by being like Yeah teachers should be kids and then all of a sudden we sneak in right after they turn it off to being like, hey, obviously you shouldn't be the kids. Next year we'll do shows but just at senior living homes. You guys, why do all these kids have poor penmanship?

Why is Gen Z they don't have jobs in their game? Yeah, why, why? Oh, what? They have purple hair now. We hate it, too, just like you. You know what had purple hair when we were kids? Eisenhower. What?

I'm just trying to relate to an older demographic. Eisenhower, dude. I don't know. All right. Well, that was fun, I guess. Don't guess. Yes, you're right. It was fun.

But anyway, thank you guys for making it all the way through this episode. Frank, where can they find you? The Frank Alvarez everywhere, baby. Aunt Priscoe on Instagram. Hey, still going to be able to. Joey's giving you an inch of him every week. You guys can follow me at the Joe Santa Gau. Go follow the show at the Basem yard, and that is all.

See you guys next time. Bye, babies. Thank you.