The Basement Yard - #532 - Decorating For The Holiday Season!

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Let us know how you like our trees! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the weather cools down, Golden Nugget Online Casino turns up the heat. This winner, make any moment golden and play thousands of games like her new slot, Wolf It Up, and all the fan-favorite huff and puff-and-puff games. Whether you're curled up on the couch or taking five between snow shovels, play winner's hottest collection of slots, from brand-new games to the classics you know and love. You can also pull up your favorite table games like Blackjack, roulette, and craps, Or go for even more excitement with our library of live dealer games. Download the Golden Nugget Online Casino app,

and you've got everything you need to layer on the fun this winter. In partnership with Golden Nugget Online Casino. Gambling problem, call ConX Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600. 19 and over. Physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nugget Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly.

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Are you scatting? No, I'm doing like the beginning of like Christmas songs when they have like the bells, but they're like not bells. You know what I'm talking about? It sounds like it's just like, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-d-d-d-d------ You know that? Is that

That did, dumb fans out Bingy-Ling jing-ding-ding Boo Ding-a-ling-ling-a-ling-dong-ding That's a great add-on to that song. Dude. The ding-ding-ling-dong-ding in the background?

Amazing. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Very Christmas. We got trees. Got a tree. They're naked and they won't be.

They won't be naked, baby. And decided to pull them up for the fucking for the episodes. I also have a tree. You also have a tree. Mine's right here. Yeah.

Right, exactly. Art is not imitating real life right now because your tree is probably more likely bigger than bultabars combined. Wait. What are you talking about? Oh, that's what you're talking about. Yeah, you got a big dick.

What a loser. What is big dick and balls! Oh, let me guess. Life is so great having a massive don. Oh, man. How am I even going to drag this around the whole holiday? I am doing a perspective thing for sure because this tree looks way bigger on there than what it is. Yeah, well, I mean, that's part of it.

That's part of the game, my friend. You got to play the game in order. order to win the match. What's your favorite Christmas song? You're gonna hate my answer. I told you this a million times and you hate it. Jingle Bells? No, no, no.

It's Mela Kaliki Makka. Oh, you're one of those guys. Well, it was my mom's and like she always... Was it? Yeah, my mom is a big Bing Crosby guy. Your mom seems like a, um, fucking Michael Boubley guy. Michael Boubley is only around the last 20 years.

She had a whole lifetime prior to that. Yeah, but once you hear Mikey Bubbs, Mikey, don't get me wrong. His voice is like butter, dude. I'm telling you right now, if you can take, like, a piece of silk and make it into a human being, that's the bubbles. His voice is like, I feel like you could cure me. I remember the first time I saw him, it was like a 2003 or 2004, like, remember they would do like the Christmas tree lighting and it was like a big thing people watched on TV. I'm sure they still do it, but it's not as cool anymore.

Yeah. Because Whitney Houston isn't there. okay that's the first time I heard they were like and you know here's my Michael Boubley Mikey Boob's and I remember at the time just be like this guy's got something yeah here we go Simon Cowell over here fucking Michael Blay one of those most like easiest voices like it sounds like he's not even trying he's like have yo so oh you had it there started you should have gone started I could do one note but that's it that's it I know I know where to stop

Yo, he's, the guy's good. Mikey Boob's, dude. And I'll tell you this, though, but I'm going to be honest about Mr. Boobes. Talk about the boobs. It's his Christmas stuff that is the hits. His otherwise stuff, it's okay. Oh, isn't it? That's kind of wild.

Sway with me? That's a cover. What's that? Doesn't he only do covers? No. First of all, no one's disrespecting the boob in front of me. Don't let him talk about boob covers. Don't talk about, yeah.

You're not talking about boob covers. You talk about boobers. Yeah. Mikey Boobbs But the Christmas album Absolutely ridiculous Dude And he is one of those people

That has done the unthinkable And he has put New Christmas music In the stratosphere of like Iconic Christmas music Because most of the Christmas music That we like is 70 years old I apologize to the boobs

What is a song that he created Involving Christmas? Don't fucking disrespect the boobs Involving Christmas No no no like He said he's doing He said, no, you said he added new... I'm saying his version of Christmas song.

So the covers. So, shut off. So you're saying the covers. Yo, you're disrespecting the boobs. I come over there and I'll fucking shove that fucking tree in your ass. You talk about the boobs like that. Yeah. I like the boobs.

I was just asking the question. Yo, Mikey Boobbs, you know what's funny about that Christmas album? You know the song like, Santa Baby? Oh, yeah. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. When he does it, he goes, Santa Buddy. Because he's not gay Because he's not gay

He's not gay Santa buddy The boobs understands He's not like Yeah, it's not Santa Baby Because he's not trying to like He's like yo I'm not calling the shit I'll sing Christmas songs

But I'm not calling him baby Yeah what do you think this age You think they were gay people in the 70s? I'm fucking Mikey boobs I'm not gay No Mikey boobs Santa buddy I'm pretty sure he's married and has a family

He seems like a very nice guy Let's get that out of the way Let's make that very clear I love Mikey boobs Right to be clear Also a cover Right. Yeah, yeah.

You're going down a bad way right now with me. You're going down the wrong alleyway, and guess what? We're the thugs at the end, ready to stick up for boobs. I think he would meet me in the middle. No, we'll let you get there so you got a sense of comfort. First of all, it's our alleyway. Yeah, don't tell us how to operate our alleys. Yeah, we wait.

You think that you're safe when you have way through. Keep your boob talk out of our alleys. You know what I'm saying? Got it, got it got it. I just, he has done, like, his versions of Christmas songs. Yeah. Hold up. I'm looking up this album. I'm not taking this shit.

They have gone into, like, it's very hard to crack into, like, iconic Christmas music. And he's one of, I would say, four modern artists that has done it. Obviously, Mariah Carey's the other one. Well, she, I mean, that might be the greatest of all time. Fucking, what's his name? Bebes.

Overrated. What's overrated? His Christmas music. It's, it. I can't, what am I going to say to that? I mean, it's just, like, it's an insane thing. to say to people. I will say this. At least his was original. You know who has a shady...

It wasn't. Was it? Yeah. Some of it was. You know who has a... Christmas love? Bangor. Who cares? You know who has an incredible, original, I think. Christmas song that is also a big... We're big fans of here at the basement yard? K. Clark. Kelly Clarkson.

Bro. Yeah. Yeah. That song? That song? Hit the fucking desk harder. so we can all hear Jesus Yo, that song

There's no lead in It's just like boom We're off to the race And she just fucking like Listen, I love slow Like Nat King Cole You know like

I love that There's a candle and it's snowing But when you get punched in the mouth By Kelly Clarkson's vocals Yeah Nothing is preparing for Usually Christmas music is like more slow And it's like a cozy song

And you're laying on the couch whatever, but that song's like someone threw a present in your fucking face. Just like bang, Christmas slut. Wait, you never answered, what's your favorite Christmas song? Oh, yeah, I didn't. Also, I'm looking up the track list. Is it all out? To the

boob. It's all covers. It's pretty much. But that doesn't matter. The thing that he's done, which I think is even more impressive, is he's made him he's taking these songs and been like, these are mine now. And these are better than the original version.

Andy Williams, who? Perry Como? Don't think so. Well, hold on. Annie Williams, that one I really like. No, it's a banger. Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. When you hear those bells, do, dun, dun, it's the most. Yeah, I'm like, forget it. It just, it, I hear that song, and it puts me in, like, holiday rush mode. You know what I'm saying? I'm shopping during that. I'm shopping, you know, and I'm running around with the bags like this. Like, yeah. Where are the toys? Yeah, exactly. I, I'm fully in on the Andy Williams.

It's the most wonderful time. Also, we gotta give credit to our girl Brenda Lee. Rocking around the Christmas tree is quite frankly, just an all-timer. I feel like it's a little over. I think, I think. I don't know. Wait, what's your favorite Christmas song? I can see yours being, I think I know it.

Yeah, I think it's the Mariah Carey. No, it's not. Well, I mean, it's hard to not, like, that is a great one, but like, I really like the fucking Insink song. Merry Christmas. Happy Holiday The fact that's even in your top ten is bananas to me

It's a good song What? It's a good song It's a hit I wouldn't Yeah Pooh poop To poop

Yeah I don't even think it deserves to be In the fucking sniffing competition You could sniff it Frank that's not an expression at all It doesn't deserve to be in the sniffing competition What's your favorite Christmas song? Mine doesn't have a good rep right now.

Oh, is it? Maybe it's cold outside. Maybe it's cold outside. Yeah. That is a great song, but it is a little sexually aggressive. A little. Yeah. A lot of sleep.

Bro, let the girl go home. Yeah. Jesus. But I will say the version in elf, my favorite. Yeah. Ooh, you're going Zoe Des Chanel. She kills that, bro. I love hearing that.

And even, like, Will Ferrell, I'd be like, yeah. No, but like, no, but they do. So he does it in the movie, but, like, there's someone that does it, like, an official cover with her. that voice is caramel in a chocolate I don't know exactly who it is but baby it's cool I can't even do it proper justice yeah that is a good one

it is sexually aggressive so you're getting cancer I do think they redid it I think they redid it took out of it I mean if they redid this song it should be baby it's cold outside I really can't say okay let me call you a cab or okay let me escort you home he's just like no come here what's in this drink

yeah oh what is that about yeah it's not great it's really not great say what's in this drink He's like, shh, shh, shh, it's cold. Come on. She's like, why is my drink fizzing? He's like, it's cold. It's freezing.

What's that tab at the bottom of my drink? And he's just like, it's so cold. I love that he wasn't even backing down from like, it's cold. Like, it's just cold out. Like, that's the only thing he needs. Yeah, like, that's all he can think of. It was like, I, I, it's, do you not understand it's freezing? And then he tries to like find other ways to like work that in where he's just like,

it's up to your knees out there. Like, you're not even going to be able to make it home, dude. First of all, if the snow is. is up to my knees out there. I'm going out there. You think I'm not making a snow angel, dude? When's the last time you played in the snow? Every year. Really? Like you go out and play in the snow? Like, roll around, jump around, throw snowball. I'm rolling. Really? I'm good for you. I'm glad you're, that's more like me than like you. How can that be? Because you are more like when it snows outside, I need to open my emails and talk about bottom line

and gross margins. The thing is you don't know me at all as clearly. No. Oh, I know you quite well. Oh, I'm, oh, I'm Frank, I'm the quirky guy, so I go and I make a, the, shut the fuck up. You damn right, I'm the quirky guy. Fucking, I'm looking up songs right now. You know what sucks, dude? That song, I don't even know if it's a Christmas song. Oh, it is a Christmas song.

War is over? I mean, that's John Lennon, yeah. Why? Oh, well, because he starts up. Well, so is Christmas. That's fire. That part's cool. Hate the rest of the song, though.

I mean, I will say the. only Bruce Springsteen song that I like is his version. Oh, that's good. Santa Claus is coming down. That's a good one. He's like, we got a drum. Yeah, no. Bruce Springsteen dude, that's my favorite. He's like, hey, man. Clarence, you got Santa Claus

gonna bring a new saxophone. Yeah, man. You've been a good man. Yeah. And he's just like, you better watch out. Oh, you better watch out. It is better not cry. It's the only good Bruce Springsteen song. I will go out and say that on the record and I'm gonna get killed in Jersey. Yeah, that's fucking crazy that you think that.

I mean, what's better than that? What's good? I don't know what's better than that. What's good? Glory days. He's just screaming. That's a great song. Vague. Who cares? What's the other Bruce song that I know? Born a run? Born a run, dude. Born in the USA. First of all, those are all, you know, born a run is so good. Mid, mid, mid, mid, mid. No, it's not. Born and is unbelievable. It's just him. Hey, he were bound who, uh, listen. It's pretty good. I got to be careful. If I grew up, it's pretty good.

Yeah, you're, honestly, you're on a, you're on a vocal hit this morning. I don't know what's happening. I am going to get some shit for my Springsteen slander. He lives like, I think, like, 25 minutes from where I am. He will come over here. You know what that means. No, no, no, the property taxes are probably on there. No, his property taxes are away.

His were in the hundred dollars. Oh, Frank, you don't know this off. You scared the fuck out of me right here. Sorry, I got mad excited. because I saw the words right there. You don't know this song, probably. Because it's a, it's a Christmas song by Ariana Grande. Oh, I know it.

Santa be me. That is it. That's probably like my favorite Christmas song right now. I blast that song. I was talking about Miles with that song this morning. He was just like, wait, she sings too? And I was like, she's the total package. Holy shit.

That's crazy that people don't know Ariy Agriara sing. Well, he's only, he's only 10. Yeah, you know, he really only knows her from Wicked And I was like, yeah, she acted, then she's sang And now she's back to acting And I'm sure she'll do singing again But Santa tell me if you're a baby

I can't, I mean, I can't hit the whistle, though You know what I'm saying? You're not an area and a grandma Yeah, I'm not Ariana Grande Let's make it very clear She's not very grande I will say that, she's very... She's very Piquina

Yeah, you know, she is But what were you going to say? Um, I don't know Okay, was I going to say something? I don't know. So I would say that, like, modern Christmas songs, these are my top five modern Christmas songs that have broken into being all-time hits. Okay. Mariah Carey, all I want for Christmas is you. Duh. D-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Is that modern? Was that 92? I mean, hot take.

Oh, no. Hot-take what, though? That it's old or that it's like what? Oh, God, here we go. Hot-take what? That song's kind of overrated now. That song kind of sucks. Joey, call the gunsmith. Ask him to fashion two gunsmen. we can brandish that shoot a hundred bullets. I'm gonna call the North Pole and put you on the naughty list, you fucking piece of shit. First of Mikey boobs and now this. What do you like?

Not much. Kill him. Get out of there. I'm calling the bomb company. We're calling 1,800 bomb on. Yeah, hey, bombs, bombs.com. Bombs away. Bombs are us.

Make one for aunt. I just, I think all I want for Christmas is you. Sure. Blue Blay. The boobs. We could put the Instinct song in there. It's not my favorite,

but I could see its appeal. It's, yeah. The Ariana Grande. Santa, darling. Whatever it is. Santa tell me. Sure.

And Kelly Clarkson. Yon. It's just a thing. No wind falling in. I'm down there to be. No, no,

no Christmas day. It's just a stupid. It's a good day today. Everything changed. You're all I need. All right the tree. I got goosies.

I got goosies. Give me one Christmas song you like. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. It's beginning. Dude, you know who has a banger of a Christmas album, too? Who is that? Is that Andy? That might be Perry Como.

I mean, I'm sure all of them did a version of it. But Elvis got some bangers. Bro, am I the only one that sees Elvis and I go, who like that? Dude, horny teens in the 50s. I know, but I'm like, I'm like listening to him, but I'm like, what is this? No, he's got some, he's got some songs that I could see the appeal to. That's what I'm hearing. It's just clearly he stole the sound from Chuck Barry, did it himself, and everyone in the music industry was just like,

a white man doing it. And they're like, now we love it. Bing Crosby. Okay. Oh, yeah, Bing. We talked about it. Yeah, we talked about him. Big Bang Boom, Grosby, baby.

There's some stuff there. With all these guys. Every single one. Any sort of white person who's singing a really good song and it's filmed in black and white, I'm like, all right. I mean, we need to look into this. Let's just look, anyone, I would say 90% of them pre-1999. You know it's a red flag for me? When it's black and white and the white people are holding a skinny microphone, I'm like, look into that.

Like the Lawrence Welk show, but they're just like... Just look into that. Yeah, Bob Barker... There might have been some stuff with Bob Barker, too. He kept that skinny microphone to the end. Well, that one's extra skinny. That one was super skinny. No, they all had some skinny dick microphone.

Well, the ones that are like, and it's like a little pop... Yeah, dude. It's like a fucking, you know what I mean? Like a cute tip. All right. So the crux of this episode, which we were getting to, because we could talk Christmas music all day, is we decided that as we were doing these Christmas trees,

holiday trees, if you feel attacked by us, I know how much aunt hates that. We decided we were going to bring in some ornaments and decorate them. It's the Sanagato Studios basement yard way. We spread cheer, playing on thick, velvety, like the silky sounds of the Michael Boobes. Yeah, Mikey Boob-Blay. Damn, let's get him on the show and have him just fucking serenade us. I would do a whole episode with just Michael Booblay singing to us.

I will throw an episode away to do that. Yeah. Just have him stand right. there and whenever he feels like it sing and I'll just shut up he's got to sing cool stuff if he starts throwing out like the religious Christmas songs I'm off bro little drummer boy who cares even who cares about this little kid that could play the draw oh you know what's a banger no well that I actually know well oh wait no not no well not that there's another song that I'm like no oh it's it's it's

it's another one in elf at the end The song, what's, uh, fuck, what's it called? It's like, not real words. I don't know. She's on the piano, like James Conn's playing the piano, she's singing it. Oh, my God. I just watched it off the other day. Oh, fuck, yeah.

We just watched it the other day, too. Now I can't. I know what you're talking, like, literally the end credits. Oh, that there's, those are real words. I mean, they're like not, though. There is a line up, and all they're going to be for a... There it is. That was good. All lane sign?

See what I'm saying? That's not real. All lane sign. It's literally, that's what's called. It sounds like a board game that's stupid. It sounds like Latin. Probably. What are the words?

What are the actual words? Like pig Latin? No. Is pig Latin? Inse is they unse. Probably. Rob Stewart. Rod Stewart?

Rob. Oh, Rob. Oh, no. I thought you were saying. No, no, it is Rod. Rob Stewart? Maggie Mae, Rob Stewart? Didn't you say his dad said that he had, he was filled with some stuff?

My dad said that. Yeah, you're dead. That's what I'm saying. He said they pumped a bunch of cc's out of them. Yeah. in a hospital. And I'm like, I'm not even going to listen to what you're saying. I was in the hospital.

Also started that with, did you hear about Rod Stewart? Dad? No one has heard of it. At that point, I was in my 20s. No. No, no, no, no. I know two songs. Are you going to tell us the words?

Oh. No, it's Old Langside. Yeah, it's that. And then it goes into like Old Langside, my dear, oldling sign. What the hell is Old Langside? I believe it's like an it's a Scottish poem Scottish oh can't don't fuck with the Scottish they'll beat the brakes off of us no one's doing that oh I like looked into it because I remember hearing that song and being like wow I love this song

so much for some reason and then I was like I wonder what the words are because I can't you know sometimes you hear a song and you're like I don't know what that part like it's it could be anything and then I looked it up and I was like oh it's what I thought it was it's just not real I would love to hear like a Scottish Christmas song or like a Christmas song sang in Scottish Well, give me one. Give me one and I could, because I know it would be just very loud. Yeah, probably jingle bells. Jingle bells are jangling.

Dern it, jangle bells, jangle bells. Jiggle all the fucking way. Oh man. God damn it. I love Christmas. So it means old, like old times, for old time's sake. Stupid. Ah, okay. All right, so we brought in some ornaments, each of us to decorate our trees. Yeah. And we're going to go and we're going to show them. and we're going to hang them up.

And I think in true basement yard fashion, they're probably going to be a little ridiculous. Yuff. I'll go first. Oh. The first one I have, it's a, it's a Cheeto,

but it's got Danny DeVito's face, and it's a Danny DeCito. That is, that's really orange. This looks like it was 3D printed. Is it taste good? Yeah. Not edible.

Not edible. That's cool. Danny DeVito. Icon. Dude, he's like 80. Fuck off. He's getting up there, dude. Danny DeVito's not 80.

I think he is. I think he's getting up to him, Morgan Freeman, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro. Al Pacino looks 80. He's looked 80 since he was 50. Yeah. To be fair. 81. Oh?

Danny DeVito's 81. Yeah. Fuck out of here, bro. I tell you what, for someone his size. Don't bring that up. You are on... You are skinning on thin ice and you're about to fall into the lake. What is wrong with you?

It's like how you know, they say really, really tall people. First you attack boobs. Now you're attacking Danny DeVito. Yeah. I want... Two hundred years out of him. Let me tell you something. I love Danny DeVito.

You're fucking cruising for a bruising at the end of our alleyway. Okay? Because we're thugs. We're thugs. Okay? That's really cool, though. Wow, that's crazy 81. Huh?

You like Cheetos? That's more of a cheese doodle, if we're being honest. I know, I don't only fuck with the puff. I fuck with those. I fuck puffs. I don't really like to crunch you. I want some hips behind my Cheetos. I want to like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want this thing to like pack a punch. Sometimes I like to shove two into my mouth like I'm at the dentist. And then yes. I do that and then I punch my cheek. Okay, that one you're doing by yourself. No, no, no, no, you guys don't do that? Not a shared experience.

Really? Yeah, I threw up a full Cheetos puff once. I threw up Cheat, uh, Cheat, uh, Cheat, Cheat, I threw up cheese doodles in pre-K all over the floor. Wait, what did you do? What did you do? I threw up a full Cheetos puff once. I threw him up to him.

You didn't eat it? You didn't chew it? I have a suspicion that it formed a Cheeto back in my stomach. Okay. Your suspicion is so wildly inaccurate, my bro. I have a suspicion that science and physics put it back together. You think your stomach is just cooler than everyone else's stomach? Regular-ass stomach.

Bro, imagine if you did throw up and came about the... The full thing. I mean, that happens with, like, I know people that have, like, thrown up pills and they've come out full pills still because they take a time. That's not what I'm saying at all. He's saying, like, throwing up, like you eat a steak, then it comes back, a T-Bone. Like a steak. That would be kind of cool, actually. All right, Danny DeCito.

I kind of love that. Yeah. I think it adds a nice color pop. Yeah. And it's a good-looking DeVito. Yeah. All right. I'm going to start.

So, it's been a good year in our house. Great year. Incredible year. But I have noticed that one of the most regular inclusions in any grocery order that we have is pickles. So that's why I have this, which is a Christmas tree made of pickles. It's just such a pickle year. I think pickles are having a resurgence. I brought back Hawaiian shirts.

I brought back the word laborious. I do think that I am slowly bringing back pickles for the world. You, okay. What? That's, why is your other hand below the desk? I don't like that. Okay, because I didn't know if there was something going on. I mean, there's some other stuff going on.

I'm sure there is. I got some other stuff. Just into pickles, man. Bro, we get pickles so much. Like every order we do, it's stacked with pickles. What is stacked with pickles? Costco-sized pickle jars. And we get the grillos into our mouths, brother.

No, no, where can it be stored? Into the fridge, my brother. You could fit a giant jar in your fridge. It's like this. Yeah. And it's the Grillo's Pickles. Are those full or are they slice? They're slice.

I do get their half-sourers though. And I, you know I love pickles. Remember at the old studio? Yeah. I'd get pickles all the time. Yeah. I mean, watching you eat a pickle, that is the interesting thing. My days of consuming pickles have changed, my previous days.

Okay. I used to be a little sexually aggressive, just like that song. Yeah, it was. Now, instead of the full pickle at once, you take bites? No, he sucks the pickle dry. And I know that sounds like I'm trying to make a joke, but he literally would like suck the pickle until there was no moisture. Yeah, what I would do is I'd turn it into a prasin,

which is naturally a pickle raisin. Right. And I would bite the top off, and I would literally... I can't do this. Suck it off. Yeah, you'd suck it until it's dry. I would... You'd suck it rotten.

Can you take it back one fucking step? I feel like I'm not. not being that crazy. I think you're being a little crazy and sucking something rotten. Well, I think that's a nice one. It's good. I like it. Do you have ornaments too? I do. Oh, nice. A little bag. Oh! Um, I don't know if they're all going to fit on the tree. I got one and I realized how big it was. Right. So this is a ornament that... Hey, aunt. Yeah. What the hell is that? Yeah, so it's a, it's stuck here. Give me a second. It's a mermaid reindeer holding a gift that looks kind of similar to wow that does kind of look like Joey what the fuck did

did you make that I did not yes you did you want to come see it I need to get close to this guy what do you got rattling over there why am I why am I oh he's stuck oh you're real stuff I'm wrapped up did you like to see dude what the hell I don't that is pretty can you see this wait what did you type into Amazon uncanny weird ornaments and it's a mermaid it's a Christmas mermaid wearing a skull with reindeer. You almost knocked over your tree, by the way. You sat down and it was fucking horizontal. Oh, there goes. We're fine. The Cheetos's hanging. The Cheeto is good. Um, kind of looks like you. Yeah, it does. Also, it's the size of your tree. That's the problem.

That is a big, that is a big ornament. What's that made out of? Is it hollow? Brother. It's, how much was that? It looks like it was $40. It was about. What? It's about $33. How much? $33. Dude, that's a lot of money to spend on a joke ornament. We're also, that was, that's out of your pocket. Well, this one looks like, this one looks like you. I feel like it'd be out of, this is unbelievable. Oh, wait, we're getting reimbursed for our purchased ornaments. Frank, it's a pickle ornament.

I think it's beautiful. That is insane. That's big, dude. Oh, of course, he got little tree big ornament. He's overcompensating for his tree. That's the biggest one I have. It's huge. That's way too big.

It's the biggest one I've ever seen. Yeah, honestly, that is the big... Outside of, like, the stars that go on top, which I didn't bring any. I didn't bring any either. I forgot that. You would hate the star that we had on top of our tree for years. I already know what it is.

What is it? Is it the same one as Espo? Which one is that? Like the Super Mario Star? Yeah. Yeah, it was. Children. Okay.

We do, let's, before we get to the rest of the ornaments here, we do have some sponsors for the show. The first one being, how you do in Zock, okay? So don't forget that during this holiday season, And you also want to be healthy, be happy. A lot of people going into the new year also, you know, they start doing their New Year's resolutions and they want to be healthier and whatnot. But you should go to the doctor and get your checkup, your yearly checkup.

But yeah, so Zoc Doc, it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality and network doctors. And click instantly to book an appointment. So this is a website that I used when I was off my mother's insurance. You go on to the website, you put in your insurance. and the area that you're in and then you can look up doctors in your area and it's not just primary care physicians it's dermatologists or whatever you need

there's specialists there and you can see that they are patient reviewed so you know you find people that have a really good rating I believe it's out of five and you say okay I'll go to that doctor for this thing and when their next available appointment is which is usually within 72 hours sometimes it's been you know the next day

a lot of the times honestly for me it's been the next day so it's a great place to book all your appointments So, yeah, like I said, it's a free app and website. So go check it out. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to Zock.com slash basement. Okay, that is Zock.com slash basement, spelled Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash basement. So get your checkups, folks.

We also have Rocket Money, which is an all-in-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket by finding and canceling your unwanted subscriptions. You know, you just plug in your information there, and it'll have all your stuff. And you can cancel these things that maybe you signed up for accidentally or you didn't realize that you were paying for something or you realize, you know what, I haven't used this in six months. Why am I paying for this? Let me cancel that. It's the holidays. Put that money back in your pocket and maybe spend it on a nice Christmas gift or something like that.

Or keep it for yourself. Who knows? There's also a budgeting tool, so it'll help you be more financially responsible and make sure you're not going over your budget. And there's also a tool that they have where you can literally upload a photo of your bill. And if they can help you lower it, they will do that. Okay, so cancel your 1-1 subscriptions and reach your financial goes faster with RocketMoney. Go to rockandmoney.com slash basement today. And they've saved their users over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million in cancel subscriptions alone.

So people out there are making mistakes and doing the stuff. But that's rocketmoney.com slash basement to get started. right now. All right, love that. Also, what else do you love? You're saving yourself some money and you want to give the gift of something. Why not give the gift of the basement yard? Patreon.com slash the basement yard is the best way to do it. So go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and you can give the gift of the basement yard this holiday season or gift yourself a little something. We're so tied up with giving other people gifts. We can treat ourselves a little bit. You sign up for that first year. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance

and then that second tier. You get exclusive episodes every single Friday, which come out. They're just for you. And if you sign up and you've never been a patron again, you can watch every single back cataloged episode that goes back to when we started doing them, which was at this point, seems like decades ago. So go check them out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. And if you want to sign up and save yourself a couple of extra bucks, type that into a web browser, okay? Don't, don't use one of those smart apps because then they're going to take some extra money from you. So if you go to the web browser version, patreon.com slash the basement yard, and you sign up there, you're going to save yourself some money. You're going to be one of the growing,

amounts of patrons that we have here continuing to break records. Thank you guys so much and it's well worth it. I think. Don't take my word for it. Take this eyewitness testimony. Whoever's editing is put in the eyewitness testimony. Put in something like someone saying it's yeah. So there you go. You saw you heard from that

person in particular. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement. We love you and we'll catch you on the flippity flop. All right. We'll catch you on the flip-a-flop. All right. So it's your turn. I have to add the ribbon because you need to add the ribbon. I didn't do it as pot oh my god um this one is a heavy hitter here uh heavy hitter in what regards this is uh thickless cage it's nicholas cage on a thick girl's body it's

backwards it's backwards there you go there it is there it is there's thickless cage yo yeah oh wait is that his face from conair um i hope but yeah that was a great movie dude you know what's so funny that you say that what you know it is so fucking that you'd have that ornament. You know who texted me in the wee hours of the night last night? Nicholas Cage? Could you imagine? No.

Hank Green. Oh, yeah. He texted me yesterday. Yeah, he goes, Joe shared your number. Sorry I didn't send you ducks. Here's a duck. And it was Nicholas Cage. Not as a duck.

And he goes, oh, fuck. Sorry. And it's just another picture of Nicholas Cage. And he's like, oh, shit. And I responded, that's not a duck. That's a goat. Wow. That's a good one.

Dude Hank Green Nicholas Cage So you just have a celebrity filled Celebrity-filled Christmas Street That's all he wants

That's all he needs Favorite Nick Cage movie God Damn you know what I just watch National Treasure on a plane It's so good It's good man It is so good

I really like that movie What's the one with the green The green balls Oh that's the rock Those green balls look sick Is that with Sean Connery Sean Conner Michael Bay.

That's about, what's it called? Breaking out of, or breaking into. Alcatraz. Yeah. Let's put Nikki up here. Oh, you're getting, Nick, thickless cage right in the middle. Thicker than a fucking bowl of oatmeal. I'll tell you that.

Yeah. That's crazy. I saw someone recently said, thicker than zoo glass. That's great. That's a good one. Okay. Well, listen. I'd be remiss if I didn't bring in something.

from my childhood and I had to and I know I previously brought this up but this was mine when I was a child it's a skateboarding dinosaur and now that I look at it I have the wrong one this is my brothers where's mine that's not your brother that's your it says son 19994 on the

on the back oh fuck okay do you have all of your your skating dinosaurs I guess I have I guess or have you just had this one forever I've had this one and be like this is mine and now that I see it's 94 maybe it's my brothers It cannot be. Or maybe they just got it to me in two years old.

Yeah. Regardless, he's a skating dinosaur with a backwards cap. Which is so cool. And a pink backpack, which at the time, not ideal. Yeah. You know. But look, he's hip. He's fly.

He's got a bit of childlike wonder. And he's balancing on his really rad skateboard. That's cute. I think it really captures my joy and happiness. Yeah. You don't look like it. I think I can look like it. You can't.

The building's coming down, by the way. The building is on its way down. Hagrid just got here. What was that? It's just, you know, this is a family, an Alvarez family relic. And this will last forever. Nice. And if it ever gets thrown out, I will haunt any of my ancestors that have done that.

I'm sure you will. That seems like on par for you. Don't say it like that. What? If people throw stuff out, I believe it. All right. I was looking at my feed over here. The arms on this thing look great in this lighting.

Nice. Just saying. Yeah, you're horny. All right, what else you got? I had one that looks like Joe, so I thought I get one that looks like Frankie. I have It, Pennywise. Oh, fuck you. Why do I look like it?

What am I looking at? I can't even see it. Why is the balloon in front of his face? That's a little bit. Because that's how he stands, dude. Oh, that's right. ready to float Not bad

That was pretty good Not bad Dude I don't think you look like you I figured it was a joke Okay Although Bill Scarsgard

Actually yeah I know I think about it He's got big eyes Got big eyes Dude that whole family Bill Alex Bro they can See

Dude they can see They can see Yeah And they can act Let me tell you Yeah Like a family of actors Good for them

I Have you seen You've seen You've seen it movies right, Joey? Yeah. I only saw the first one. The second one was a little disappointing, personally.

Well, it's a little crazy, too. They took some stuff out of those books that I'm glad they took out. Do you know about the books? Ant, you know about the books? Yeah, well, they had to take out that. Yeah. So, I'm not. Stephen King's a weird dude.

Stephen King was clearly on cocaine for several decades. And when the kids get out of the tunnel. Yeah, when they get out of the tunnel after they defeat it in the first part of the book. They thought that to defeat it, they needed to grow up and not be kids anymore? Yes. So they all practice having sex with the one female member of the Losers Club? He's writing these about...

Excuse me? He's writing this about 10-year-olds. I didn't know if... I didn't know Frankie was just going to hammer it there, but... I mean, I don't think any way to describe it as any worse than the actual what it is. I had no idea that was part of the thing. Yeah. It didn't really work.

It didn't. I don't think that would have been green. It absolutely did not. work yeah he ended up coming back right well I got this one for oh oh that's just what is this this one's for you but thank you you got one from it thank you yeah no that's just is that Mickey it is it was I'll be honest with you I got this as a joke and I'm looking at it and I don't like it now you feel bad about it yeah I do you I'm not you have a full on what's with this what's that

That's, like, on the things. Like, they have, like, little red things on them to, like, snap it. Oh, that's the crank? Yeah, I'm sure it's just, like, a design thing. Yeah, I don't like this anymore. It's kind of mean. Well, it has to go on your tree now. Yeah, now you have to put it up there.

You have to put it up there. Now you have to declare that you are a murdering psychopath. Put in the back of the tree. Well, she fell. Is it, like, a good quality. That looks like a good quality ornament, too. Is it heavy? Yeah, it's kind of heavy.

All right. What do you got? Okay. Well, I also went throughout this one. It's got some bells on it. So it's festive. Okay. And it says, go ahead.

Jingle my bells. Frank. Is that? Am I looking at an ass? I think those are balls, brother. What am I looking at? But what am I looking at? It's, yes, that's an ass.

And underneath those are supposed to be the bells. Wow. I just think like you know it's playful it's fun it's happy yeah it's like it's like a

go ahead like this is what I expect to see on the back of like a Ford F150 right during Christmas time and now it's on your train and also a Punisher logo right that's clearly taken out of context because people don't understand

that the Punisher actually didn't like corrupt people all right but yeah go ahead it's it's wood oh thank God I can't

the top of my tree at home that's for sure there will be questions there will be questions i just thought it was a cute little way to say like hey you don't like me fuck you right this is the appropriate setting for that i would think so yeah well i mean i killed disney yeah you have a full on murder scene on yours yeah and aunt has what i can only imagine is the how he goons over you as a merman oh what are we doing I brought it in. Well, if he's going balls, you're going.

Gingerbread. I told you I had it. Yeah, it's an interesting one. This is what I'm doing. Yeah. YouTube, it's not right. It's a gingerbread. Say again?

YouTube, it's a gingerbread. Oh, they probably, I mean, yeah, I hope that. They don't know what this is. I mean, we've got balls and now dogs. Yeah, I don't think anthropomorphic characters, like animated characters are going to get us into a ton of trouble, right? You couldn't say animated? You didn't want to say that?

What was the reasoning behind anthropomorphic? That's not even, I don't know what it means. This is pretty prominent. Yeah. And for some reason, the balls keep turning toward me, and I don't like that. So we're just going to put them. The ball's year for you, baby. All right.

The ball's just, they're attracted to me, I guess. All right, what else do I got in my bag of trees? Whose is worse? Ants full-on sexual intercourse happening on his tree or mine, which is just like. like a little ha-ha innuendo. I mean, we don't know. Maybe into the mic. I don't know.

So this one, very easy, obviously. It's very baseman. Oh, yeah. It's the weiner Moby. Oh, I love it. That's a good one. Dude. Put a wiener on there.

Dude. Get your wiener out. Come on. Joey's got a wiener on his tree. I got balls on mine and aunt has where both of them go. The sex one. Oh. Yeah.

I was like, don't talk about that in my name. I didn't even think of that. Dude, when's the last time you had a hot dog? It's been a minute. I mean, obviously, it's December. Oh, yeah, obvious. Okay. So I'm going to ask the last week.

Oh, yeah. Do you count sausage? No. Right. Unless they're called Italian hot dogs. No. No, you don't, you don't buy that? What was the occasion?

Oh, Sunday. Got it. It was the Lord's Day. And Daddy needed a dog. Let me tell you. Wow. What are you finagling over there? I have to put in another ribbon for my next one.

Oh, my. Also, Oscar Meyer? Those are good dogs. Oscar Meyer, Nathan's. Some good dogs. The only ornament I bought was Joe as a mermaid. The rest are all, these all gone on my tree. oh my god that's insane

you put that actual one on your tree that's insane yeah but sometimes it's in the back of the tree got it okay well my next one might be a little infuriating for some people but

why do we confine to the limits the limits that big Christmas puts on what is and what isn't an ornament nay I say an ornament should be something that you want to proudly figure uh excuse me

proudly and prominently feature on your tree. So yes, these are all technically ornaments. Sure. But an ornament that I have that will be going on my tree is Jeff Hardy. Okay. Now, yeah, sure. He doesn't have traditional ornament build, but it's, it's a tree should be representative of its owner. And I am, I, if I am nothing, I am a wrestling fan. So Jeff Hardy is going to Swanton bomb off the top of my tree. Frank, I know you think this is going to piss me off, but I love it. Really? It's Jeff Hardy.

I didn't think you were going to like it. I thought you would for sure be pissed off and be like, That's not an ornament. No, I love Jeff Hardy. Is the top of the tree in the shot? I mean, he's got to be on the top. He's on the top rope. It definitely won't be in the shot, but... Alright, so then I'll put him where he's ready to do Swanton.

Hey! So Jeff Hardy, man. That's great. That's a WWE legend. Yeah. You know, King of the Swanton. Right. And fish nets.

Yeah. And humping the air very aggressively. Also was the reason why I bought a necklace once and it cut me. So I had to take that out. The Hardy logo necklace? The sharpest thing I've ever had in my life. My brother wore it playing basketball and it went through a kid's finger. See, yeah, it was fucking dangerous.

Did you ever see, you were not a big wrestling fan back in the day, right? Mm. Not really. Did you ever see the Hardy Boys logo? Probably in passing Dude look it But it's like It's fucked and it's sharp

Dude look it up And you're gonna see Like this was on kids necklaces And this was like die casted metal So it was like It was hard It was not It was like that

But the edges of it were so sharp Dude And it like cut me once And my mom made me take it off I was so upset Those things were Not that one That wasn't the one we had

It was just silver And it was like a beaded low I mean we don't need to Fucking pull it up But it was like Beated Yeah, dude, it was, it was not... It definitely looks sharp.

It is. It's not that one, but... It's like that purple one right there. Just type in the necklace. Just type it necklace. Gotcha. It was, it was... It definitely had some edges to it.

Necklace. There you go. The first one. The first one, yeah. Yeah, the thing was sharp as fuck. Dude, it looks pretty rounded in this photo. It looks pretty round, but it killed me. It almost killed me.

This one looks sharp. This, this one. Yeah, it wasn't that one. No, well, that has a beaten necklace, too. Yeah. It could have been that. Well, regardless, this thing almost killed me. But I think my tree wouldn't be who I am and who I feel I am if it didn't have some wrestling on it.

Frank, you're not Jeff Hardy. Oh. I'm closer to Jeff Hardy than you are. That's ridiculous. How is that ridiculous? You think you're closer to being Jeff Hardy than me? Who do you think has done more whispers in the wind? You or me?

Me! I've swanthine all I do is swanthob you've done a 101 of swan ton but I would do a lot of poetry in motions with my brothers I just that's it that's a mad hardy thing that's me dude you don't know who Jeff Hardy is don't look at his mugshot there's you don't know Jeff Hardy I didn't say that I was just trying to compare

oh I was about to freak out I mean if we're going based off looks sure it's Joey twinky boy but if we're going based off of just general vibe and I'm more of a like a he kind of It looks like a, like a, what's that shit called? A vampire. He could be, if Jeff Hardy was a vampire, I would not be astonished. Now, he wouldn't be able to wear this cross here.

Yeah. That's true. It would hurt him. Also, of the two of us, you are way more likely to wear fishnets than I am. I'll give you that. I will give you that. All right. What do you got?

I have a resin, twist-a-tee bottle cap ornament? Well, obviously, yeah. I talked about this as well, I believe. I brought this in, just, you know, some proof here. Maybe put that one over the sex. Did you make that? Did you drink the teas yourself? No, I bought this.

Oh. On Etsy? Yep. You could have made that. You guys are pretty handy around your house. I don't know how to do a resins thing. Yeah. Have you ever made, did you guys have the beer, the beer wall?

Like the wall that was just like the cut out boxes? I wasn't in a frat. Like, if it's more fratty, housey. Oh, your life is fracked. What are you talking about? Yeah, but I got to live. They didn't give them the letters, but they gave them everything else. I walked into Anne's house.

time and there was a contraption that like you pour a giant bottle of fucking jameson yeah i see that like the like the the wheelchair for it right yeah it's not a wheelchair but like it's like like a hand truck like what yeah yes i hear what you're saying i was going to say something that probably would have upset people but yeah well that's nice wait you so you bought that i bought this yes i'm gonna ask well i well this was i bought this like four years ago i'm gonna ask nice I think it was like 30-something Canada's Wonderland is bringing the holiday magic this season

with Winterfest on select nights now through January 3rd step into a winter wonderland filled with millions of dazzling lights, festive shows, rides, and holiday treats. Plus, Coca-Cola is back with Canada's kindest community celebrating acts of kindness nationwide

with a chance at 100,000 donation for the winning community and a 2026 holiday caravan stop. Learn more at canadaswunderland.com. Yo. Bro, the budget you have for... That is crazy. Might have been 18.

You could have made that for... How could it might have been 18? It's such an exact number. How does backloading expenses work? He doesn't. What does that mean? He's going to charge me for this. Oh, it does work.

Yes, you can. I can do that. Thank you, Frankie. It comes out of somewhere. Joe's like, try it. I'll move the sex thing. Okay. No, leave the sex one up.

This one, because your tree tells, I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you up, your tree tells a story. So what it is is someone saw a mermaid and was so horned up, they drank a bunch of twisted teas and had sex. We could tell a better story. All right, my next one, I have just a cute raccoon covered in Christmas lights because they're cute, and he's doing the rock on. Oh, that sucks.

No, it doesn't. I hate raccoons. Don't be a bastard. I'm not being a bastard, but if I had a gun, I'd shoot your tree. You hate animals. I don't hate animals. You ever think about your animals? Oh, I love animals.

You're a little cereal killery when it comes to animals. First of all, the only cereal that I'm killing is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Second of all, Let's call up the joke, fucking master, and tell him his jokes fucking getting... Someone's down here telling jokes. fuck out of here. I thought it was quick and witty. I thought it was perfectly.

I don't hate animals. I hate raccoons because they're little fucking mongers. I just don't like that you're so chaotic and stupid and ugly. Frank, this is objectively adorable. I did see something that you're going to be pumped about. There's research to suggest that raccoon are becoming, like, slowly more domesticated,

which means we can have them as pets soon. Talk that talk, because I'll get one in here. I think I won't get one? I'm letting you know, if you get a raccoon in here, I'm putting it in the trash can. And it'll be chilling. I will lock the trash can and then put it on the stove top.

And this is where we're getting to serial killer. You're a serial killer. The only cereal that I've killed is Apple Jacks. That's a great one. That's a great one. I mean, it is cute. Hey, cute guy covered in lights but if you saw that in real life that exact real thing

if you can guarantee that a raccoon doesn't have rabies i'm hugging it i'm hugging it's a little it's a little it's literally a little rat so are you how you like that you're not allowed to call Hispanic people rats joey that's what you're fucking your parole officer told you no more what do you got all right listen i'm sticking with family heirlooms okay i like this tree to be of me, where I've come from... You've said this every round. And where I am going. And nothing helps me keep a humble,

a happy, and optimistic, playful approach to life than remembering my first love on this planet. And my first love on this planet was Barney the Dinosaur. Wow. Now, Barney the Dinosaur was not only one of my first loves, but he's ice skating. That's fire. And Barney the Dinosaur,

I love them so much. Did you? Oh my god, it was a big Barney guy. Really? Big. But now that he's being festive and skating, makes me love him more. And this, when I see this, it reminds me of being a child. Being a child, humble beginnings.

Life. Humble beginnings. Joy. You know, you don't need materialistic goods in order to find happiness. True. You could just go back to the days of Barney the Purple Dinosaur. Right. Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination

That's a song And what's more beautiful than that It's good So that's why I put Barney on my tree That's a good one I like that a lot You better I can't even be nice

Without being yelled at it's insane That one's cute I like that one What do you got Those balls are staring right at me I have A little Mario Kart One and he's waving

The checker flag Assuming that he's won I believe Hey I have a couple of Mario cart ones at home, too. This one was sent to me. It was very nice. What was sent to you?

What mario? Is it Mario? Yes, Mario. What cart is he on? Pipframe. Pipe frame cart. Standard. Standard pipe frame cart.

Yep, yep. Not a lot of weight to that. Good drifting. Good drifting, but not a lot of weight, not a lot of acceleration. You need some more. You know, we know who the meta is. Burdo. Well, no, you want to go with a heavier character.

From what I believe, last time I brought in Mario Kart and we played, I think Joe beat you, Frankie. I don't even remember that. I guarantee, though, if we were to play again, I would smoke him. I am putting up, I would put up a substantial bet. Well, the reason why I won, it was because of, it was like, I had the bumpers on. Yeah, he had the cheating RCs on. Wait, what? The, like, RC tail that you can't fall off the map?

Yeah, I did. which I didn't know I don't even know what that is but what the fuck is that like you can't fall off so you can't fall off so you're telling it as well though am I bugging

I don't know but we definitely didn't tell him you had it and it was funny you were like oh you got the RC tail I was like what is that so you're judging his victory over me based off of him cheating

I wasn't cheating I didn't turn it on if I can quote Joey from 2020 stop the steal let's play again and I will absolutely beat him

him, whoop his ass. Stop the steal. Absolutely. Recount the votes. The stars. Oh, that is a good one. Do you have any, do either you guys have any that, like, make sounds or, like, lights or anything on your tree? Like, in real life or today?

In real life. No to both. I don't know why I even ask that. I don't know. That one that I actually told you about, where it's, like, the crib or whatever, there is a button on the bottom, but I feel like it broke, like, years ago. But it used to, like, sing a song. They used to have ones that you could plug into the lights.

Like, I remember my mom used to have that. Yeah, my mom used to have one of those. What about you? Do you have any that make sounds or lights? No. No. You? Yes, I do.

I have a couple of video game ones. Like, I have a Donkey Kong cabinet that you press the button, and it does the song, and then I have a Super Nintendo that does Super Mario World. Nice. It is very cool. Super excited. Well, before we go a little further here,

we do have some more sponsors. The first one being Skis. Skims, okay. Skims is a lovely company that is making, you know, underwear for the boys and for the girls. They got stuff for girls as well, but I have a lot of skims underwear. They sent us a couple of pairs to try out, and they are honestly, like, my favorite underwear. They're very comfortable. They're very breathable. They don't, like, hold in a bunch of moisture or anything like that, so you take it out of you, like, what's going on here?

But they are extremely breathable. They're amazing. They're not too tight, but they also, like, are tight. enough to, you know, keep everything where it should be. But they have lovely stuff for this upcoming holiday. I think this is a great gift. I actually bought my friend, last year, my Secret Santa, I got some Skim's underwear for him.

So this is also a great gift to get for the holidays. So you could shop skims men's at skims.com. Let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey, and select our show on the drop-down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gifts this season, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open. for business okay so go to skims.com and yeah let them know that we sent you and get yourself

something maybe or you know and get your little fellow something as well um and lastly we have square space square space is going to be the platform where you're going to build your website and they're going to kind of handle everything from there honestly so if you have a e-commerce business or you make content or something a website is very important okay all the websites that we have made are powered by Squarespace it's the best in my opinion they have templates that make it very easy to get to a starting point so you just click on this template it populates a website you switch some things out and you're kind of good to go we've done it in a day turned it around and we're good to go but they also have a lot of tools they're going to help you optimize your

traffic let you know where things are all the analytics everything like that so they got you covered and you can get started on your own website when you go to squarespace.com slash basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain okay so that is squarespace.com slash basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain all right so get to it and then send me your website i want to see it all right i'm going to do you guys have left i have i have dosh i have one all right so how about i go and then and then we'll come back around we can snake draft nope do you have two left or just i have two oh okay So then why don't, yeah, why don't you, you, you, me, me, you.

Let me do that. Yeah. So my, another one I have is the green frog wearing glasses from the rainforest cafe. This dude loves the rain forest cafe. This tree is so you, dude. This is so you. That's a good. There's a big Joe in here.

Yeah, that's, that's not you. It is, it is by ratio kind of more Joe than him. It's true. I'm trying to catch up to how much Joe this tree is. You should put it over his face. No. It's too big, yeah. Put it up here.

Dude, can I ask you, where did this obsession with the rainforest cafe come from? How did that start? Hmm. It's a good question. Probably circa 2004. Circa is crazy, dude. Just tell us. I appreciate that. Circa.

The Animal Kingdom and Disney, we would always eat at the rainforest cafe. There's a rainforest cafe there? Yep. I guess that makes me a ton of sense. Is or was? Still there. We go all the time. Not all the time.

Is there food? It's good enough. What does that mean? The atmosphere is fun. The atmosphere is what you go for. The animatronic rubber. Would you ever go to like an actual rainforest? Does that?

No. No way. You just like the cafe. I got my fill at the cafe. Right. Dude, rainforests are terrifying. Yeah, they're very scary. I would, that would not be fun to go to.

Do you like nature? Nope. So what about it is appealing? You love that it's nature adjacent. It is by definition? Absolutely not. I also love an outdoor indoor. Love an outdoor.

What does that mean? An indoor that looks like outdoor. Oh, like a tree inside a restaurant? Yeah, an indoor outdoor. Dude, you would have loved. I built a restaurant with my dad once that was based off of a garbage dump. You would have loved it. Bassolero?

Yeah. Built a restaurant? Yeah. Well, my dad used to do that shit all the time. Now he can't because his knees look like SpaghettiOs. His dad worked construction. Got it. But it's making it seem like him and his dad hammer nailed this restaurant together, which didn't happen.

No, that is exactly what happened. You and your dad, yes. I know there was more people involved from him. Of course there were more people, but like, we did most of it. Well, I'm saying, I think there's a construction company. No, my dad, like, was like, it was a not big crew because my dad was doing it on the side. Like, basurero. Basurero.

It's in, is it still there? Yeah. Is it still there? It's on Steinway. If anyone lives in Astoria or visits Astoria, Steynway and Broadway, right? That's the corner right there. Have you been there? I've never been in there.

Oh, I've eaten there several times. It's good. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Columbia and food. Go and touch the walls. My dad and I built that. Chances are if you touch the walls

Go and touch the walls You're touching 2005 Frank's hands And they were huge Dude Oh the biggest hands Big hands They were just big Fat hands

Yeah Non dainty Right Really really meaty hand All right What do you got? I got I think you're gonna like this one

I have a love for Christmas I also have a love for Star Wars That's why I got Santa Stuck in the Carbonite And that's pretty cool It's like from return of the Jedi and the vampire strikes back you see you know what happens of course you know

Hans Solo and she I love you I know I used to love watching his face like when it's like melting or whatever yeah I was like oh that's so cool I love when Princess Leia would like get dressed up in like in Return of the Jedi and she'd be like yeah yeah I remember exactly how she sounded but you know what I'm saying I know so it's it's him if you guys don't know Wars um get to it let me tell you go watch the original trilogy let me tell you don't listen to like fox news talk about it just watch it for yourself i really feel like people who go back and watch stuff like star wars but like i'm going to watch it in the actual order i'm like that sucks so that's a real

like topic of like contention that i recently went through because miles and i started watching it last year star wars yeah what if you were to show your child yeah little walrus yeah wants to watch star wars Daddy, show me Star Wars. What is the order at which you're showing them? The order in which they came out. Really? I think there is a magic to, like, oh, this is a prequel.

Like, that adds something, you know? Like, there's, like, callbacks there. But you don't get any of that. If you just watch it, like, you're going to start at, like, what, the attack of the clones? The movie sucks, by the way. Phantom Menace is the first one. Canonically, actually, Rogue One.

Yeah, but, like, you would start with Rogue One. That's bananas. Sorry, Rogue One is not canonically. I'm so sorry. I mean, yeah, it can't be. It can't be. But like, whatever it is, it's like, that would be so stupid to do. So what a lot of people do, and I was thinking this might be the way that I, so we started

with one, and then we went to two, and then we went to three. What is one? Phantom Menace. You did do this. So we did that. However, I think in revisiting them, I thought more about it, we'll do, what people do is four, five. I don't know the numbers.

Four is New Hope. Five is Empire Strikes Back. And then they do one, two, three, six, seven, eight, nine. I would just watch a minute. What's the point of doing that? Because, I mean, if you watch one, two, and three, it spoils a big part of a big reveal. Wait, so you make all of the original ones prequels? No, so you watch four and then five, and then you go back and watch Phantom Menace.

Four and five are one and two. You got to give titles. All right, New Hope. Yeah, but New Hope is one. Is episode four? Oh, sure. it's episode four. It's the first one that came out. This is what I'm saying. What's the one that came out

with Ray? 7-8-9. Got it. Force Awakins Last Jedi and Last Sky, or Skywalker? Who cares? Not good. I don't care. But I think it kind of ruins one of the

big reveals if you watch one, if you do 4, 5, 6, like it resonates better and then, I don't know. I don't think it ruins anything. I mean, they put it out that So everyone knew going in. I mean, they didn't put it out that way with the hindsight. Like, they did it, and they were just like, let's make prequels now. Yeah.

I can't grab the ornament. I just, I don't know. I just, I don't know. Okay. All right. Well, that's my. I feel like that story is too all over the place. It's gotten a little out of hand.

Do I go? Yeah, I go. You got your last one. Yeah, my last one. And, you know, I don't know. It's Nicholas Cage. What's going on? It's just a flat Nicholas Cage.

Why, what is going? Why do you have several Nicholas Cage ornaments? You know, I, as I'm staring at it, this is actually freaking me out. I don't know why. I don't even, I'm not even a huge Nicholas Cage fan per se. I think if you, if you, if you, if you like the bird, you like the cage, you know what I'm saying? Nope. So how and why?

Nicholas Cage? Um, I just think it's funny. It reminds me of the Nickelodeon, remember face? Didn't you have that Nicholas Cage pillow back in the day? That was a gift. I did have it.

What the fuck is happening? What is going on with you? Who gave me that? Do you have like a spiritual connection in Nicholas Cage? I don't. I think Joey Gotto got that for me? Dude.

It was like sequence and it would look like whatever, and then you would go like this, and then it was Nicholas Cage. What if, hear me out, and we can make this happen. We just did MSG. What if? We got Nicholas Cage on an episode.

And he just sits down with us and we give him things to read in his best Nicholas Cage. You mean just his voice? But like he has to give it the full go. You know what I mean? I'd rather have Mikey boobs up here singing showtons. What if we got boobs singing to Nicholas Cage and Nicholas Cage is just acting out? Yeah. I mean, you haven't thought about it.

I haven't. It sounds like it. You understand. It's in its early infancy. It's in its early infancy. I'm working it out. I'm working it out. Real time here, baby.

All right. It's not, it's not, you said, it's not impractical jokers. Joe Gato? No, no, my friend. Oh, Joey Gato. Yeah, yeah. Got it. I had that at first, too, to be honest, but Joey got us.

Because, you know, I don't know who he knows. He knows everybody. No, I does. He's big, he's big, he's breaking out. You saw he was in like a fashion magazine? What? Him? Yeah, they were Gooning over him.

You're really pushing the gooning. No, there was like a fashion thing where it was just like, look, look at Joe Sanagato. So I wasn't in it, by the way. No gooning. All right, my last ornament here. Again, why are we allowing big Christmas to dictate what is and is not an ornament? Well, this is going to be just the same. Who are we?

Okay? This thing, I don't know if you guys feel this way. My trees are supposed to be representative of me. We know that. You know why? My childlike wonder. You said that. Imagination.

Right. Joy. Right. Humble beginnings. More adjectives. So that's why my last ornament is a boxed copy of Super Mario 64. Well, what are we doing?

From the Nintendo 64. Okay. I think... Now we're getting crazy. Why? How? Now we're getting crazy. Why is this getting crazy? You allow Jeff Hardy, but an Italian plumber from Brooklyn you don't like?

Is he from Brooklyn? Yeah. Is that true? Yes. Well, I like that. I like that part. This is a relic of the past. This was released with the...

United States version of the Nintendo 64. This feels like you just want to tell people you have this. No, I've always publicized that I have this. This is not new. How much was that? Well, I bought it several, several years ago at a steal because this is

not its price now. I got it for $44. What is it now, you think? It's a couple hundred bucks. Really? Yeah. So you paid $44 for that ornament and you're judging me on mine? Yeah. Crazy. Well, his isn't an ornament. Right. And yours is. That's the... So that's good.

Wow. That's good. Yep. Now, what happens if that falls down and breaks? It's not in mint condition, so I'm not really that upset about it. It won't be in any condition. If it falls down in breaks, Joe? Have you ever, have you opened it and played it?

No, I have not. It is an open copy, though. And it's not in great condition. These are some tears on the edges and stuff like that. But it's just cool to have. I don't care about all that. But again, when you look at the street, you go, that's Frank, baby. can we

did you just hear that yeah that was terrifying that was my fucking throat what did it do I think it like barked

only I could have heard it that was insane that was fucking crazy I just like bar I wanted to say

barked but I almost said barfed but I wanted to say roared you should roar I don't know what's going on

is it possible to tilt that box like down a little bit I'm getting a lot of reflection here it's very shiny

box. It's very shiny box. That's much better action. Okay. I think it's, again, when someone looks at my tree, they're going to say, wow, this is someone that is connected to their humble beginnings. You love doing it. Establishes a childlike wonder and maintains it. Right. And is a lover of things. Yeah, that's what they're going to say. What do you got? I think to round off my tree, that is so clearly me, it would be remiss to not add a, I have a picky boy's logo ornament. Oh my God, he's using as a cheap plug for his podcast. That's fucking absolutely crazy. I thought it'd be a, it's Christmas theme, though.

That's how, you know, this is, this is, this is, this is, let me guess you're selling in a merch store. Uh, no, this one of one. This is a monster of our own making, though. If we had just let him plug his shows one time, this wouldn't have happened. I have to find ways. He left a perfect space in the, in the front of the trees that it would owe. I mean, it's kidding.

He knows marketing. Good for you. You know what? Good for you. We'll let you keep it for this episode only, bitch. I think How much did you spend on that? Probably about $33.

Bro, this is the most expensive tree. No, I'm kidding. It's like $12. I didn't even think of that. Trees are expensive. Like, once you, like, put all the ornaments and lights on them, they're like, they could be like $500 more than that. I may not have a fake tree, so it was more than that.

How expensive was your fake tree? It was a lot. Really? Yeah. It's a balsome hill. No big deal. No big deal. Spend it if you got it, baby.

Spend it. Hey, you're not going to look back and worry about that purchase. A balsam Hill? Yeah. Oh, no. But yeah, I think it was like $800. Which is crazy for a tree. I dropped my game.

I know. I got to get it. I don't have a lot of, I guess I have a decent amount of like, we have. We have a lot of, like, filler ornaments, too. Yep. Yep. It's good. This is the issue with putting a whole box on a tree.

I feel like my tree looks beautiful. It does. You're just covered, man. It's a wonderful tree. A little less space to cover, that's one. Yeah. And I got you right in the middle. I appreciate that.

I got you. I don't know how I feel about being a mermaid. Don't fuck around. You love the idea of being a mermaid. Oh, in life, I would like to be a mermaid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not mermaid. A shirtless one you're not into.

well you gotta be shirtless i can't wear a shirt in the pool in the ocean i mean dude imagine mermaids were real that'd be fine what was that movie where that kid slowly mermaid you think i forgot the little mermaid what are you thinking i was that disney movie where the kid like slowly turned into or someone slowly turned into a mermaid oh yeah what the fuck is that could just be called mermaids splash oh that's it's oh that's it's I remember. That's not a Disney movie either. That's a Ron Howard movie.

That's a full-on movie movie. I thought of El Ron Hubbard. When you said that, I said, what? I don't watch El Ron Hubbard movies, Joey. We should probably be careful about bringing their Lord's name up. Yeah. Because they'll be upset. Yeah.

You know what? That reminded me of like the movie that you're just talking about. Remember those like weird Disney movies? The one that always stuck out to me was Luck of the Irish. He'll play basketball. I look like him. looked like him as a little as a kid no i didn't yeah he did but he also his hair just started to get really red yeah oh he full on started turning into yeah that did you remember this movie

you didn't kind of look like this kid no come on give me a break you had the frosted tips and everything oh and look at it i never had frosted tips i wish i remember eddie's million dollar cookoff what was the smart house smart house was a good one it like i always remember that the scene in that movie where they had a party and then the floor just sucked up all the garbage and it was like oh it's clean house now

I was like damn that would be nice what was the one there was also the one where the girls the twin sisters play basketball have you seen

have you seen that's why I'm doing that have you seen the clip from it that has like circulated because of how bad it was done no it's painful to watch is it another thing like

we hired actors that can't play basketball it's a basketball museum yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Yeah, Disney movies had some bangers back in the day. I mean, we were open lovers of high school musical and Cheetah girls, Cheetahs. Cheetahs, Lizzie McGuire.

I'm a banger. It's a banger. I didn't say, I want a banger. I don't know why that's, like, I felt the need to correct myself. No, no, no, no, we understood what you were. I want a banger. She's coming out with new music, by the way, Hillary Duff. Perfect.

If Hillary Duff does a Christmas album, dude, didn't Disney do a Christmas album? They probably did. I'm sure. They were working, those children. Look up Disney. Look up Disney Star Christmas album. I wonder what it could be. Like, it's like Corbyn Blue singing Blue Christmas.

That would be incredible, now that I said it out loud. I don't know, but incredible. I have a Blue Christmas. That's my Corbyn Blue impression. Disney 2000's holidays? No. Disney Channel Holiday hits 2016. A bunch of the stars did a short EP.

November 18. I don't care about that. I want to hear like the girl from Proud Family doing, you know, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Isn't that Raven Simone? No. I forgot her name. Kira.

I can't remember. Raven Simone was from. That's a Raven. That's a Raven. I thought Raven Simone was on that show, too. No. She was on the Cosby show. She was Stephanie on the Proud family.

She was on that show. Really? Yep. it was animated those there's no way you knew that it was animomorphic dude I knew it yeah

as I remember we'd be watching Disney Channel there'd be like those like Christmas like the commercials would be like them singing a Christmas song

yeah but it would be like selling a CD or something yeah good times kids Bob dude who are these kids I don't know

I have can I just really quick say sure my tree's the best I know it's not a competition but with you guys it always is

I feel like mine is not good. Like, there's a lot of Nicholas kids. I mean, two is a lot. Two is a lot. This is the cutest we have everywhere. The Barney one might be cuter. Again! Oh, well, that's the problem.

See, if you don't follow the rules, there's consequences, Frank. I don't want to be this guy. My tree blue size. Good things come in small packages is what I proved here today. Your tree blue? You guys have out of the little. water oh i don't know about all that oh i think that you could have possibly it's it's like you got you got it there which is a different holiday yeah that's true i i think that you have a good tree

it's good tree it's nowhere near the quality of mine frank barely followed me um i thought he was gonna pull out like food or something and put it on there like you know what's funny like an actual pickle you know what's funny is i was on the drive-in looking for a hot dog stand and i was going to bring a full actual hot dog we that wouldn't have lasted on your tree yeah would have no i would have walked over and ate it oh really yeah that would have been yummy that would have been yummy um well there you have it folks it's a very merry christmas the christmas season's officially here wanted to decorate our trees because the trees are staying for for december all right so Thank you so much to everyone

You know this year We're feeling very thankful and grateful But it's a Christmas season Trying to get some joyous Memories With your families All right Oh I actually do have one more for you if you want

What is that? Here it's for you I already I saw what it was in the air It's a you know what that meme With the guy with a giant dick That's what it is Yeah yeah yeah

Yeah oh you can't show that well here it is why why did you have that like you spent money on that too didn't you that was 12 bucks well now joey's has a lot of phallic imagery by the way the chito the hot dog at this point i'll take anything that is a nicholas cage you got it if anything could be more of the opposite of nicholas cage it's that um i'm I also, I have one more thing, if I could. What, what's going on? You sneaky, sneaky ornament, guys.

Oh, got it. Okay. All right. All right. Well, and a very Merry Christmas to you guys, too. And holidays. Happy holidays. They almost got me just now.

You got to throw the holidays in. Oh, God. You got him. So good. So good. So good. I've been gotten. Chris Mahana Kwanzica for whatever you celebrate.

about that sure where can they find you and i'm not getting this one no you are not just look at a tree we will see you guys next time