The Basement Yard - #537 - The New Drag Queens

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. I forgot what the podcast was. Yes. None of that. Yes, welcome back to show from basement. Let's leave that in 2025.

Why? Because I don't know what you're doing. I'm working on an impression. What is that of? Like 90s European club goer. One more time? Yes, so it's a show. Just welcome back to basement.

How are you doing, Ann? Doing good. I don't think that's pretty good. Welcome back to basement. Like the, I saw like a clip from the movie Euro Trip. Whoa, I need to watch that again. Yo, first of all, there's some stuff in it that has not aged well. They drop some F words in there.

But it's the 90s. It was the 2000s. Let them rip. Basically in the 90s. Yeah, the priests were saying it probably. They're probably still saying. Yeah, they were probably. I don't think that.

Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know why I went there. I don't think the like level of like acceptable. behavior should be pre-s are doing it. I agree. They use a different F word. Fondel? What was the word that you were going to go with? Father? Yep, I probably should have. I messed up. And it's out. Don't, don't mix. You're going to do it, do it. No, but I saw a clip from Euro Trip. Yeah. And I was like, damn, I haven't watched this movie in like four or five years. And then before that, like 12, 15.

years and it's worth another listen people forget scotty doesn't know came from there it's a great song you know it's probably the greatest fakes song ever right ooh that's a good question cheetah girls cheetah sisters had some hits it's a real song well it was a song in a movie that they then released as a song i think the same thing happened with scotty doesn't know wasn't like a made-up it was matt damon oh maybe it was an actual band probably that did it was matt damon yeah it was no i know that but and he was it was a no i know that but and he was just, you know, basically about he was getting cucked. Yeah.

He was at the party and he was getting cucked. Yeah, she was in my van or whatever he says. Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my pan every Sunday. Pamp. Dude, so recently, I, so it snowed the other night. I don't like, I'm sorry, you don't like, you didn't like my, my, your old guy. Well documented. It snowed the other night.

You probably got a lot of snow. No. We got ice. Yeah, brother. About snow? A couple weeks ago we got about a foot. A foot? Yeah. How do we live in different worlds?

I don't know. We got about a foot a couple weeks ago. You guys got snow here too. It's like, really? Yeah, it wasn't crazy. Yo, there was, it was about. Hello. It was big, man. I mean, I saw you shoveling. You got snow. You didn't see me huffing and puffing. No, I'm saying like, it just snowed and you shoveled.

Well, that's because it was, it was ice. underneath and then it was like a little beep beep of snow on top that sucked let me tell you chopping away at that suck butts i almost slipped and fucking laid on my ice hood well yeah i did can't you can't you know damage the money maker don't say that don't you dare say that what what it's gonna happen when people find out you have uh uh an only fans it's like where are you going with this i can see you know of what it's just my asshole it's it would be just your asshole and you'd be talking like Ace Ventura. It's a close-up.

It's a big. It can die, dude. Are you okay? I was just picturing it. You were picturing my hole? How dare you, bro. Yeah, why are you coughing? Just picturing you coughing like Ace Ventura. You should be what you normally do when you hear about Joey naked.

Goon. Too much? Way too much, huh? Oh, does that make you like your spit thick thing in his asshole? Does it make it what? What was the first line? Your spit thick? Oh, I don't know.

Also, what? You never heard that saying? When people like, when you're going to throw it? grow up, it makes you spit thick. Oh, no, I've never heard of that. Really? Yeah. I was going to say we're on paper.

We're not on paper. Not the first thing that you've said that I haven't heard. We picked up on that last. It's a real saying. It's a real saying. I forgot about that until right now. Making the tongue licks them both. Making my spit thick is a real.

Now you see, now look it up. Look it up. Look it up. Look it up. Just Google. Yo, look it up here. Yeah, on the computer. Look it up here.

Okay. Make my spits getting thick. No, do not type that in at all. What do you want me to, what? Type in, oh, you know what, this is a... Yeah, it's gonna, that's why I want... Well, Josh might have to edit it out. Okay.

Type in making my spit thick. My spit is getting thick, saying... No, no. This is why I want the... Oh! No, it's how to make my spit thing. No, no, no, just say making my spit thick. It's supposed to be an expression, so just...

Click that and we're probably gonna see some things. Type in expression at the... Type in expression at the... the end of this because already we have nothing. Okay. So let's type in expression. Thank you. Oh wow. Okay good. One for one. Thank you. No, no one for two. No one for two. One for two. What do you mean? The other one was a fucking saying. I'm not, I'm not re-litigating this. It was a real saying. Okay. It makes your spit thick. Okay. Oh. Ew. I don't like that. I don't like, I don't like that. I don't like. I don't like, it does that. He's just like, come on. He just goes,

but I, so it snowed the other night and I was like, I was in the house all day. So you almost hurt your asshole. No. So I went for... You didn't hurt your asshole. I didn't hurt my asshole. It's perfectly fine. You check. Shut up. I went for a run and it was like snowing and then I found $20. Ooh. And I was like, wait, you run in the snow? With what boots? No, I ran with like regular shoes. Brother, you're, you're playing with fire. Well, the snow was like perfectly... Oh, it was like 90 snow. It was before anyone could get to it. 90s snow is what we refer to it as. Yeah. Where it's like perfect packing snow. It was like eight o'clock.

So the, and like no one was really on the road. And la manana. This was two nights ago. So at night you went. Yeah. At a. m. And la no.

Yeah. But there was no one out there because it was, it was the day after Christmas. So no one's like working or whatever. Do me a favor. It had perfect. I have a couple questions for you. There was a lot of crunch, Frank. First of all, I love the sound of snow crunching under a shoe.

Yeah. Second of all, did you do the typical thing? And if you didn't do this, And if you didn't do this, if you didn't do this, you get a pass. Did you do the thing where you just stop and listen and hear? Nothing. Yeah, I took a video of it. Dude, it is such, when I was kind of chopping away at the ice in my driveway, I was, I just stopped and put, I held my fucking, like, I'm Farmer Dan.

I held my shovel and I was just like, oh, the earth. Like I'm the rock, you know, it's like. Yeah. It actually looked like the John Hamm meme right there. It did look like it. Um, yeah, there you go. Oh. Very Euro.

Rewaned. Um. No, but I went for a run and then I found 20 bucks. You almost slip? How'd you find $1? No. The next, how did I find it? I ran by.

I was like, that's $20. But wouldn't the snow have covered the money? It was like in a, it was like, so there's like parks kind of thing? It was in a homeless person's hand. Yeah. It was like, it was in a cup. I took it. No, it was, like, you know how, like, trees have, um, branches?

No, but it's like there's, like, brick around it and it's like where the dirt is. Green streets, as they're called here in New York City. Is that what they're called? All right. But, like, the snow, like, is on the branches. So, like, underneath it is not that much snow yet. Yeah. So that's where I saw it.

And I was like, oh, I had, I made 20 bucks. So I was super hype about that. I mean, we are getting to an age of falling and being dangerous. So you need to like, Frank. Brother. We're 33. Brother. We're not 53.

But falling is not like, ha, ha, fall and get up. Like, you get right back up anymore. Like, when's the last time he fell? When's the last time I fell? It's 2026. No one falls. Brother, people still fall. You're not supposed to fall anymore.

You're not supposed to. What are you going to? I mean, listen, I fell off my bed the other day and. Huh? What were you doing? Jumping on it? I was playing with Ruby. Oh, okay. And I, like, we do this game, I'm not gonna tell you the name because you're gonna laugh at it, but it's the cutest thing in the world.

Give, hold on. No, go. Just say it. No, I'm not gonna say it. Why? I'm not gonna make fun of it. You will, and I know you will. You love doing that. You do too. It's a game you play with your daughter. It's cute. What's the name? It's, she doesn't know how to say destroyers. Yeah. So she says destroylers. What am I gonna say to that? You're gonna look at me? Oh my god, your stupid daughter has a speech impediment? Is that what I'm gonna say? You hear that? Do you hear that? Destroyer. You hear that? Very non-euro Max of you.

I cannot wait till this one's retired. No, so, yeah, jokingly. What's the game? It's called Strollers, where are we just like, like, basically like Power Rangers. Like, I'm going to use my ice blast. And like, she does like a twirl. And she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, nice try.

And then she, like, kicks me. And the game always ends with me on the side of the bed. And she uses her stroller powers to push me into the lava. Ah. But brother. Like, you think, like, If your bed is this high off the ground And then your mattress is this high off the ground

That mattress is bigger than that Way too high for a mattress What? What are you sleeping on? A fucking roll of parchment This is the floor Oh Yeah, you think I'm going from the floor floor? Like I'm sleeping in a college bed

Like a mattress that you're going to jump on it? No, if this is the floor And this is the bed frame And then the mattress comes up to about here Mattresses are fucking thick, dude It sits in the bed. And it sits in a little bit. Bro, if I'm falling two and a half feet,

yeah, that's a long fall. Long? It's like, you think it's not, go fall, roll off your bed at two and a half feet and tell me it doesn't. Like, oh shit, that kind of hurts. Go home. Do me a favor. Go home, roll off your bed. Get your ass on the ground.

You sit here. You make fun of my expressions that are real, by the way. All right. And then I tell you something like that. And you're not even going to go and try it. Fall off my bed and hurt myself. No. I'm just saying we are approaching an age where it is harder for us after a fall to get up.

So you going out and running. I'm trying to protect you here. Going out. Thank you. And running in the snow with no proper footwear. Proper footwear. Dude, you could get hurt, man. Or you could be running and someone's on the road and they lose control.

And they hit you. Yeah, they could. I mean, I'm not running in the street like that. I mean, the whole idea of losing control is that they are going to go up on the sidewalk. Sure. You run on the sidewalk or the street? I feel like you're a street runner. I usually try to run in the – because where I am is not very busy, especially in the winter.

So I run in the bike lane. But it's sectioned off. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was just that people probably hate you for that. Oh, if there's bikers, yeah. I mean, but it's a two-way one. Oh, they can go around and hit another biker.

Yeah. Oh, wait, so you found $20? What do you do with the $20? I invested it, and I invested it. turned it into $3 million. Here's how. It's no, it's, I woke up at 4 a.m. because if you sleep past six, you're a pussy.

No, I put it in my pocket and it remains. In your pocket? Yeah. Let me see it. No, not this pocket in my jacket pocket that I ran with. Bring it next time. Okay. I want to see it.

I was planning on, I was just going to like give it to someone if I saw them if like they were like homeless or something, but I didn't see anyone. Well, I had my eyes closed. Ticking, tiki, tiki. No, I mean, like, if I saw a homeless person, I'll give it to him. I was like, can't see him if your eyes are closed. That's right. That was a joke, got you, gotcha, got you got to.

Different thing. That's a weird transit. Let's do something fun and make homeless people the butt of our jokes in our studio. Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't that make us good? Let's do that. Done. What do you think, Ann?

I'm here to observe today. That was good because I was trying to bring you in down with us, and you didn't take the bank. That's PR. Well, first of all, I am not going down with the ship. And I will go down with this ship. Love that melody. And I will turn my this out and surrender.

Well, now I'll take it back. I'll go down with any ship with you. He's not going to go down with you, crazy. Kidding me? I'm the fucking co-captain of this ship, bitch. Seems like... I'm riding... I'm riding port.

Seems like you just... Where are you? You're in the fucking booty. What's it called in the back? I only know Starbird and port. That's left and right. the mast and the ass skipper

that's the one that I want to be in a crow's nest dude I want to be in a crow's nest and have one of these yeah you know what I'm talking about those work they can't

they absolutely can't I mean if pirates use them they've got to be stupid yeah because pirates we can offend pirates now right I don't know any I mean

I don't think like what they were the version of pirates that we've come to know really exist anymore. Pirates exist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're scary and I'm not going to offend them. Do your pirating. Right. But like big hat, beads in the hair. Drag. Sure. Yeah, like it's a form of drag. It's C drag. Really, you know, it's like, we're going to be crime, but we're going to dress up. Oh, that would be my, my drag name if I were a pirate. You haven't said it. Sea drag in. Oh.

C drag, but my name would be in. Oh. Like, C dragon. I'm confused about what your name is. C dragon. Is that not a good name for a drag pirate? I wonder what my, like, what's a good dragon? Or Booty Jones.

Booty Jones is a great drag name. Booty Jones. I'm a pirate. Booty Jones. That's a good one. I need one. Like, like,

Like a something Electra Plunder Queen I don't like that No Well you're staying on pirate Well because you're Are you not a drag pirate?

Oh I'm gonna be a pirate Oh you can go other Types of drag Drag performers Yeah yeah What's so like What are some good drag names

Type in drag name Generator Drag name generator Drag name generator Let's try to figure out what my drag name would be here. Oh man. Based on name, that's a good one. Because Joe would be something like Josephine Santa Gattits or something.

That's actually kind of not bad. Oh, we got categories. Oh, okay. Funny puns, funny puns. Sexy puns. Sexy puns. Oh, now they want to subscribe to... So sexy puns.

Sexy puns. Okay. Name me. Oh, all right. Who's going first? Me. I think Joey should go first. Me, me, me.

Yeah, absolutely. My-Mira Heat? Myra Heat? Mira Heat? I don't know, but that's a sexy fucking name. Heat and a name is great. Myra is a, that's a nice name too. Alright.

That's not bad. Which one do you want? You can go next. Yeah, go to your category. Me? Put in a category. No! Oh, we'll pick a category.

Yeah. Oh, let me go horror. Horror. Horror. You love horror. It's gonna be like Michael Myers with tits. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Here we go. Ready? Venoma Vesper. Oh my god, that is sexy as hell. That's a good one. Yeah. Venoma Vesper.

That's a really good one. Love that. I'm a diamond. And you gotta have like a little green from here for Venom. Okay. All right, what's yours? What are the categories against? Pick your drag name.

A pageant queen. What is Frank? Let's try and see. Well, still, I don't like that because I'm stupid. Stupid. Just do it. Alright, alright. I was kidding. I was kidding.

I'll be stupid for you. We're gonna do the other ones anyway. We're so excited. I didn't even say anything. Alright, my stupid drag name would be Yolanda Dumpster. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Honestly, fuck you, Myra Heat, Venema Vesper.

Yolanda Dumpster, baby. Because I got that trash back there. You know what I'm saying? Oh, man. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Yo, Yolaza dumpster. Holy shit.

My shit is stanky, baby. You know what I'm saying? Are you flexing? I don't know. Look, what are you saying? I mean, we need to do one for every category right now. Absolutely. We need to do one for every single category.

So next is Joe, you have to pick another category, but not the ones we've used. Just start from the top, man. Give me, give me. Modern drag. Yeah, give me modern drag. Modern drag. He's a modern guy. Look at him.

He looks like, he looks like he has glasses on. Kira quirk. It's a little close. That's so close. It's a little close. To what? Nothing. Nothing.

Don't worry about it. Kira Kwerk? Is it close? It's kind of close. I mean, the RK. Kira Kwork. Congrats. Thank you.

All right. Diva Celebrity. This is going to be like a celebrity. Wait, but what if I want alternative? Take alternative. You know what you can do alternative. You are alternative. I can see that.

You do like to listen to a lot of alternative music. Let's see what you got. Let's see what you got. Sorrow Posh. Ooh. You're like an emo bastard. I imagine you with long black hair and bangs that come to the top of your eyelids. And tits the size of beach balls.

That's cool. Sure. Yeah, and a guitar. That's cool. Posh, though. Posh. Posh, though. You need to be in red bottoms.

Yeah. That's fine. Are you wanting to trade a mid after? You're going to be diva? I'll be diva celebrity, yeah. Let's see what we got going on here. This is like, okay, go. See you later?

That sucks, dude. That fucking sucks so bad. That's so bad. Bring me back to Yolanda Dumpster. See you later. That sucks. Give me another one. Roll for me again.

Come on. I can't be see you later. If the next one is in a wild crocodile, I'm gonna fucking lose my mind. But this is your calling. This is who... This is who I feel I am. All right, fine. You want another?

Yeah, give me another. Mariah scary. Could be worse than anyone we've seen. anyone we've seen. Honestly, that's kind of somehow worse than see you later. All right. Go back and I'll do pageant queen. Oh yeah, he is.

Ready? Yeah. Brielle St. James. That is the horniest name ever. That's a porn star name. Breel St. James? I imagine it as like one of the like women in Austin Powers. Like this is Breel St. James.

Yeah, yeah. And then she just like comes out and sucks on a chest piece or something. Yeah. It wasn't the last time you saw. awesome powers. And last two here. I'm gonna go cutesy. So you're leaving me with funny puns or sexy. Yeah, you're gonna get funny puns. Of course I am. I'll go cutesy. Okay. Go cutesy baby. Here we go. Taffy Toots. Taffy Toots. Taffy Toots. That sounds like you fart string. It does a little bit. Taffy Toots. Taffy Tuts. Yeah. So I guess I'm

stuck with silly string. Funny puns. Here we go. This is another see you later. I'm gonna fucking lose my shit. Alright, here we go. H. Turner. Dude, they suck. Why don't I get the shitty ones? Give me a, well, give me a sexy pun one.

Okay. Give me a better name than that. You want sexy fun? Go, go, go. Vivi Vise. Oh, that's a good one. Vivi Vise. Yeah.

Wow. That's good. Yolanda dumpster. Oh my god, dude. That fucking murder. Oh, that's a good one. How did we get on the topic of drag? I have no idea.

Oh, I said that pirates were drag queens. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yolanda dumpster, man. Or, oh, my name, I know a good pirate drag name. Rum bucket. I get it, but rum bucket because... Come, bucket. I got it.

Am I hearing pneumonia? What's going on over there? There's stuff happening here. While Frank's putting it together, we do have some sponsors for today. The first one being Squarespace. SquareSpace is a website or a platform that you're going to build your website on. So if you have a small business or you create content or whatever, you can create your website with Squarespace and it's going to help you because your website is going to be your first impression.

And if your website doesn't look great, then people will probably not buy or stick around. or whatever. So you want to have a professional-looking website. They make it very easy to have that in a short amount of time because they have templates that are going to act as a template. And you click on it and it populates a website. You switch out the pictures and the text. And you have a professional-looking website that is very functional. So they make it very easy. In the past, you would have to hire people. It took forever. But they make it very easy. And I've been using them for years. All of the websites that we have, they're all powered by Squarespace. So, you know, if you're going to be using it, I suggest you use this one.

They also have a bunch of tools to make sure you're optimizing your traffic and your analytics. They can keep track of all of that. So you can head to Squarespace.com and use the offer code basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so that is Squarespace.com slash basement. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay. So let me know if you're using that Squarespace, ladies and gentlemen. And we also have ZockDoc.

Okay, Zoc Doc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. Okay, before they were even a sponsor on this show, I was using Zock Doc. I still use it to this day. Even if I need to see a specialist of subkind, if you have to see a dermatologist or a primary care physician, I will go on Zoc Doc. You plug in your insurance and then it will show the doctors that take your insurance in your area and their next available appointment, which is usually within 48 hours, and it just makes it very easy. So you can find everything you need, whether you want dermatology, eye care, or any sort of care.

Go on Zock, dock, plug in your insurance, and they will show you the ones in your area. And also, their patient reviewed, so you can see who's got a good score, who's got a good office and this and that. So there you go. They make it easy. And you can stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com slash basement. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement, okay? there you go well

hold on sorry Patreon just called they're on the line are you going to pick up the phone that would be Patreon is calling I believe Patreon's on the line

Patreon's calling are you going to pick up the call patreon.com slash the basement yard if you like this show we kindly ask that you go check out that little website what are you going to get there where you're to see that there are a couple different tiers. And if you sign up for those tiers,

there might be some benefits that come along with them. That first tier, you get these weekly episodes, seven whole days in advance. So you'll get in on the conversation, the last the he-he's the ha-haz, one week before everybody else. Okay? And then that second tier,

guess what? Guess what you get? Take a while guess. Exclusive episodes. I said it first. We said at the same time. We're finishing each other's sentences. If you get exclusive episodes every single Friday,

Isn't that fun? Isn't that neat? It's nice. I think it's nice. You guys have been so supportive and loving and we appreciate it so much. Thank you. That's for you. And for those of you that don't and haven't been there, I'm taking it back. And I'm going to hold it until you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. And if you do it on a web browser, guess what?

You save yourself some money if you want to sign up. If you sign up with an app, they're going to take extra money from you. You don't want that. Put more money back in your pocket. Okay. Don't give it to the tech overlords that are slowly, you know, draining us of all of our everything that we have. Go check it out.

Or not. Cool kids are doing it though. Patreon.com slash a basement yard. You could also check out out TBYTorMurch.com or not. Check out if there's any leftover tour merch from our tour.

Maybe. Maybe you check it out. I don't know. What the hell is that? Well, why do you give me the allowance to do that? The allowance? Why do you allow me to do that?

I wonder how long you could, like if you did a podcast by yourself, like, How long do you think you could go? An hour. Yeah. I, I, years ago when I did the wrestling podcast, I, there were a couple of, like, not a lot. There were like one or two episodes where I did by myself and I just talked and.

Rattled it. Just rattled. I mean, but that, that was different because that was about a thing. So, like, we talk about like, raw and then Smackdown and then NXT and yada, yada. So, like, I had stuff to talk about to fill the time. Yeah. But like here, letting it just let it rip.

Maybe we fuck around. Maybe we have a Just Frank episode and we see what happens. Just get wild. You know, see where it goes. That would be interesting to hear. Why?

I mean, just because whenever, like before you just recorded an ad for Sanago Studios and like, sometimes he just goes on tangents. And it's like, the ad is supposed to be like two minutes and it's 50 minutes of footage.

Well, I like to take the approach of just like, I'm going to do it well, you know, like, that's the approach I like to take. Like, I'm going to try to do this thing well. Yeah. Like, so when we do an ad, I try to read it and do it and ad lib a little bit because that's what these companies want. They want a little, you know, they want a little paprika in there. They don't want just salt and pepper. Right. So that my mentality, definitely going into 2026.

as well as like, if you're going to do something, do it well. Wow. As opposed to doing it poorly. Right. Well, I mean, yeah. Why? That's good. I value, I value.

No great in there. No, I try to do it well. No good. I mean, sometimes things end up being good. Honestly, profound, groundbreaking stuff. If you're going to do it, do it well. Not something I've ever heard before. And I'm taking that energy into 26 as well.

I mean, what's funny about that? that's a legitimate thing to bring in to anyone's life. What do you do? Like if you're going to, like, I am at a point in my life where my mentality is like, if you're going to do something, try to do it well. Recent point in your life. I don't, I don't understand what's so funny about that. It's just funny because you're saying it in a way like it's that you've created.

I mean, I do think that like there is a bit of this. mentality with people. I don't get what's funny. I'm not even laughing. I'm just, I'm smiling. There is definitely like a, a, I'm coming to a point in my life where I'm seeing people do stuff and they're just like, whatever. I don't want to do that. I want to like make it good. Yeah. So if I'm going to do it, if I'm committing to doing something, you want my mentality is like, it's going to be pretty darn good. Right. I'm going to try to make it as as good as it could be. Would you say that. Would you say that, like, does this resonate with you? And this is something I just came up with. Just do it.

I don't like that. I know that's Nike's. I don't like that. Because in my head, just doing it isn't enough. Isn't enough. You got to do it well. You need to do it well. If you're going to do it, do it well.

I think. And where'd you hear that? Or that just came to you? I was sitting outside the other night. And I was. They're hanging out. I had a drink. Yeah.

And I was thinking like, okay, I, I know you don't like doing this. I at the end, I at the end of the year, I do look at New Year's as like a bit of a transition point. Like I do look at it as like, it's an end. Here's a start. So toward the end of the year, I also do this around my birthday. I sit outside. I reflect back on the last year and I look forward on what I want to do for the next year. So in my time kind of being self-reflective, I thought like, okay, if you're going,

going to do something in 2026. Do it well. I don't get such a troll bro. It's crazy. What are you trolling? I don't know what you're talking about. You're trolling. I'm not trolling. Like like the Patreon reads. Those are memorable. Why? Because I go in with the mentality of like, all right, if you're going to do this, make it good. Like better than good. Pretty good. Yeah. I think pretty good is less than good. It feels less. pretty good. It depends how you emphasize it. 2026 is going to be a life-changing year for all of us. And I think that if we go in them with the mentality of like,

that the thing that we do, we got to do them well. Yeah. Duh. Yeah. I mean, it's such a simple concept, but you have to say it. How much of life is so simple that we forget to acknowledge it. Skid, bro, you're trolling. What? Why am I trolling when I'm expressing myself? Okay, first of all, don't turn this around because you know what you're doing, you son of a bit. Honestly, I'm in. Thank you.

On what? You are a really good, you are a really, really good, like, standard for doing something well because you, and the streams and everything, you guys do a lot of really good stuff. I'm not fucking around. Now I'm getting confused. No, I don't want to be in it. Now I don't know what's happening anymore. Bro, you guys stream consistently. You put out stuff.

It's, it's funny. It keeps you engage and stuff like that. So my mentality is like I was thinking about you doing this like if I'm going to do something I want to do it well Like what's crazy? All right. I think you just want it because I think that that is a right sentiment What you're trying to do is say that as many times as you possibly can and I know that you're trolling I I'm trying to explain it in a way that is the most digestible And give you your flowers. I mean Jesus Christ I just I enjoy roses do you? What would you do if I got you a bouquet? flowers you'd be like oh thanks i would think you were thinking about me and i would love that oh wow nice i don't know what i'd do with them what does anyone do with them smell them i mean you put them in a pot of

water yeah you display them what would you do if i got you a bouquet flowers i would display them i would display them that's very nice we've talked about this years ago i love flowers hmm favorite flower i You know, I'm not really sure, but I really like tulips. I like a tulip. I like tulips. The Rebecca's flower. I don't even think I knew a tulip existed before Becca. Tulip?

I feel like that's a... Oh, oh, there's one that's a fucking... It's big and it's got a fat ass. Orchids? No. God! Type in orchids. It's something with an a.

Orchid? Something with an a. Anus. Orchids are like, aren't they like one of the heart? as flowers to like maintain. I couldn't tell you. I've never had one. I believe they're like famously known to like be very difficult and look straight up. Yeah. I see what you're doing.

A little bit. There's one. It's like a real, it's like a flower ball and then it blooms into a beautiful flower. It has a, it starts with an A though, I think. I can't type an A flower. It'll just go back. There was a thing of like flower names. Flowers beginning with the letter A. What is it? What is it? What is it? Is it on here? Order that first one. I can't see it. It's not even zooming it in for me. Oh, here we go.

Scroll down. Aster. Pony. Yo. Pony is not an A at all. I know. It's not. Look up.

Look up. Oh, oh, did you mean Astor? No, no, peony, I meant. Didn't mean. Okay, got it. Got it. Look up peonies. Look up my sister's favorite flower. Coxcomb?

That's crazy. Get the fuck out of here. Look up peonies. You know how those got their name. Yeah, people were combing their dicks with it. Okay. Oh, water lilies are also beautiful. What do we want?

Pony. Dude, a big fucking, like, it looks like a baseball of flowers, and then it blooms and it is beautiful. My sister likes peonies. They're beautiful. Yeah, they're flowers. Yeah. Looks like ice cream. I would eat that.

I would eat the fuck out of that. I would eat up flowers. I've eaten flowers. What? What? I've eaten flowers. I don't think that's that crazy. I mean, you're eating the packaging that your Amazon packages show up with.

Peonies, very pretty. Orchids, tall, but very pretty. Yeah, sunflower's pretty, but then get real ugly real quick. How do you feel about mums? I'm in on mums. I like mums. I like mums. But like, one of those, like, mums get real pretty, and then they're fucking hideous.

Yeah, yeah. You know, like, I like something that has longevity. But you brought up money before, and I wanted to bring this up. I saw one. I'm going to ask you guys. You love doing these ant questions, but it's not an ant question at the time. It's a frank question.

Stole your segment. Frank question. I mean, he's doing it well. If he's going to do it, he's going to do it well. I don't like that you guys are making fun of that because that's something I'm seriously,

like, tried to bring into like 2026. Yeah, but I don't know if you're being serious. Because see, you see, with the camera's on me, you start laughing. No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

So I don't know what's happening here. I was, I, I am. Don't repeat it. I'm only gonna not believe it even more. More. Mur. I'm only gonna believe it more. That was VeeV Vice talking right there.

You're VV Vice. Who am I? Your Searle. Mirror heat. Mirapounda or something. I'm fucking Yolanda dumpster. All right. All right, right, right.

Yolanda dumpster. So you could only pick one of these. Okay. A million dollars a day. This is post-tax, by the way. or non-taxed, let me say. Thank you. I know, it's a big topic of conversation.

$100 million instant. Okay. $10,000 per minute or $1,000 per second. Now, I know this probably smart, like something smart. I mean, there's one easy distinction. The second one, what was it? $10,000 per minute?

$10,000 per minute. That's out of there. Instead of $10,000 per minute. It's a thousand per second, which is insane. Yeah, but what was the $10,000 a one? 10,000 a minute. 10,000 a minute, 1,000 a second, 100 million instant, or one million per day. 10,000 a second.

No, 1,000 per second. Are you kidding me? I think I still. 10,000 a minute. Sorry. Why? I think I would do a thousand. I mean, that's the easy answer.

That's like the easy wrong answer. I just want to say no, because I'll just do a thousand a second. Giving them me again. I got to write it down. A thousand a second. Okay. That means per 60 seconds, it's $60,000. Or $10,000 per minute.

Yeah. Get rid of the $10,000. Easily out. It's a very easy one. All right. That's bad. That's bad. That's bad.

A hundred mill instantly. Eh. Or a million dollars per day. Okay. I think the answer is the second. I would say, no, I would say it's a million dollars a day. I think it's the seconds. Isn't there a lot of seconds in the day?

What's 60 times 24? Yeah. I mean. I'll look it up. It's 1.2? 60 times 24. It's 1440. So it's 1440 minutes in a day.

So times that by 60 because that's $86,000. So a million dollars a day would be the smart thing to do. Wait. What did you just do? Yeah, yeah, no. You did that wrong. He said 24. That's ours, brother.

How many seconds are in a day? So it's, sorry, I'm not doing this quite well. It's 60 times 60. I'm not doing this quite well. 60 times 60. So 60 times 24. There's an easier way, fellas. How many seconds are in a day?

How many seconds? It's in a day. And it is 86,400 seconds. So 86,400 times, what was it? 60 k. A thousand. No. That's wrong.

What's going to? Wait. Stop. Stop. $1,000 a second. Mm-hmm. So 60 times 60. Now we got hours times 24.

86,000. 86, 400 times 1,000 is 86 million. 86 million a day. Really? Yeah, that's what I wrote it and I thought that was wrong. 86 million a day. Yeah, that doesn't. I have a feeling I'm going to pick that one.

Yeah, that's the one. I didn't do that well. What did you go on? $86,000. $86 seconds in the day. I've fucked up, guys. It's okay. Forgive me.

You didn't do that well. But it's technically when we're recording it. When we are recording pre-20206, it is 2025. So once 2026 hits, I won't be doing shit like that ever again. Everything I'll do from here and out will have much a plum. It will. What was the other ones? It was like a million a day.

Dude, imagine having a. like $1,000 per second. Like literally you go into any stores. I mean, that's like, that's, like, do you ever see the, it was like a TikTok and it was like Jeff Bezos walking through an Amazon warehouse? And it was like, he goes up to workers and there's like, hey, and the workers are like, hey, congrats on everything. You're doing great.

And on their like chest it has like how much they're earning per second. And he's in like, obviously thousands of dollars. And I saw some stat that Bill Gates, if he saw a hundred dollar bills on the, on the ground, picking it up is not worth it. time compared to how much he's making per day like the amount of time to pick up that hundred dollar bill he already made it oh my god so what did it cost you to pick up that 20 that you found let's do that Joe makes what 50 million dollars a year oh man imagine 50 oh trust me I think about making that money all the time okay he makes

50 million a year okay do you guys have a dollar amount that he said that that seriously do you guys have a dollar amount that you're like all right if I had that then I'm just feeling good like you haven't enough number say 50 mil is around there I mean yeah I don't know in the you think like a cartoon character he was like oh 50 in the account 50 would be nice yeah of course 10 10 I can you know you don't you don't you think if you had 10 million dollars you'd be like all right I need to like I would if I got ten million dollars I'd be like oh man this might not last

forever. If I had $50 million, I would- What? Ten million? Yeah. How is that not going to last forever? You were just saying, you had OBJ, you were on the phone the other day and you were just like, it's so hard for us, guys. You just said this. No, I think I can make $10 million last for a lifetime. Of course. 10. No, but if you're giving me, if like, what's the question? The question is like, what do you need? I'll say like 50 because what are they going to say? Like, no, do it for 30. I'd be like, okay. That's going to put the money in your account. I meant just like if there's a number in your life.

You never know. You wonder if there's any billionaires watching this? You ever thought about that? Who can just give money away? Well, I can't they. Eh. I mean, would you? If I was a billionaire and a random podcast was like,

it'd be cool to have 50 million, be like, you know what, I'm going to wire them. Bro, billionaires do dumb things all the time. Yeah, but I'm saying like, is that something you would do? If you were, if you had a, look, I don't even need to say, A hundred billion. Let's say if you had a billion dollars in your bank account right now, Mm-hmm. And someone was just like, ha-ha, give me 50 mil.

You wouldn't be, there wouldn't be a party that's just like, oh, I can. I mean, yeah, you could, but I wouldn't give it to a random person, I don't think. I mean, we're not random people. To someone who has a billion dollars, yeah. I mean, a lot of people that watch this show have a bit of a pair of. social relationship with us. You don't know if like there's some billionaire watching that. It's just like I feel like I'm one of those guys. Now let me go take a bath in sheep's blood. And wire them 50 mil. Listen, billionaires. I know you're watching. It could be pretty cool if

you did this. Like cool kids do stuff like that. And I know you're trying to kind of fit in. I know that being a billionaire kind of removes you from society a bit. You're trying to fit in. We want to fit you to fit in. I'm in this. Yes. So like just give us 20 mil each. Oh, we're down to 20 now. 2020, 20, 20, 60. I'll take 10, make it 50. I'm fine.

All right. How about this? How about you get nothing now? I'm trying to help. Wow. I'm the one that's talking to the billionaire right now. You're right. Like, isn't that a weird, like, jokes aside, isn't that a weird concept that like,

oh, by the way, we're all taking $1,000 for a second, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Honestly, though, I wouldn't hate a million a day. Snap answer. if it was just like you need to answer in three seconds, I'd say a million a day. I feel like it's cooler to say that. It's definitely cooler to say 86 million a day.

$365 million a year. That's cool. That's insane. That's pretty nuts. Not going to complain about it. I don't think I will either. But let me ask a question. Oh, okay.

Oh, here we go. I know what Joe is doing now because he loves to do this. I'm joking. Go, go, go. No, I was just going to say. You think money buys happiness? I think it helps. I absolutely think it helps.

I think that money brings along other issues that you would not understand, but, you know, you can't anticipate. But in terms of like what is a lot of people's source of woe. Whoa is crazy. I think money helps a lot. Yeah. It might not be, it might be just like a shot. Like, it might be like two years of happiness, not like lifelong happiness. Yeah.

I think the answer is just yeah. You just think it's a yeah? Just yeah. Why do you think people who have money say it doesn't? Because they need to be more relatable to people. Just be like, it's so, you think all this money is so easy to have? It's so, I'm just miserable as you. Because at the end of the day, money doesn't fix problems in here.

It's a really good boy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So, and everyone has this. In your sweater? That too. Oh, it actually will probably fix. A lot of people probably do have that sweater.

A nice sweater, by the way. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Where's that from? Great question. No, I do think that there is, like, if you take a snapshot of an individual at that point in time, happiness is relative. It's based off of, you know, it's situational.

If you take an individual and you give them a lot of money, they will become happy. But with that money comes a boatload of different issues and problems that they had not anticipated And those will probably where the other like problems and shit that'll creep in So I guess I'm I know you hate that I do this like it's like a yes and no it depends I think At the end of day rather be broke with problems you wouldn't rather be broke with problems and rich with problems Yeah, but the problems I mean I I imagine that like billionaire rich problems are like fucking whoa dude like more intense than

problems I doubt it I love the casualness of your answer what do you think um yeah I mean I have a similar answer to you

I think that like yes of course I just think you hear people say all the time or so I forgot who it was but someone famous like some celebrity said like I wish people could you know have everything they ever wanted to know that

it might have been like Jim Carrey or some shit so that they could know that like it's not that it's meaningless or something I don't know that they're still unhappy or whatever the fuck your answer to I think I that resonates of being like I think that's why people say that it's like oh I'm so I'm happy because of my relationships with my family and my friends

and blah blah blah but you also like not having financial security is like a big one dude Like, yeah. I think saying that money can't buy happiness ignores that. And like, that's a massive one that everyone is dealing with. Everyone wants. Yeah, like you want financial security. And of course it's not going to fix all of your problems.

So if you don't have to think about your financial situation at all, I think naturally you're going to think of what your issues are and try to plug those holes. So you'll notice that you still have issues that maybe some are deep seated. So like, yeah, money can't technically fix those things. but you're in a better position. But even like when you're saying like you know it doesn't fix this

access to more money definitely assists people with having the resources to seek out mental health professionals and stuff like that. So like yeah they might still not like there might be some parts of them that they can't fix

but like they now have access to resources that can definitely give them the tools to make those things feel better. That's not exactly what I meant. I meant more like if I, If I have $1,000 and my grandma's a bitch, then if I have a billion, my grandma's still a bitch. You know what I mean?

Yeah, but the issue is that at $1,000, she's a bitch, at a billion dollars, she's a bitch, and she won't leave you alone, and she's asking for money. Could be a bigger bitch. Right, but now I have a billion dollars. Yeah, but she could be a bitch. I don't care. In the other wing of my house.

Yeah, it's like she could be over there. I mean, I seriously would love to know. It's a stupid example. I didn't want to say my mom. I feel like she'd see it. Then she'd be confused that I called her. It was all the thing. I mean, which of your grandmothers are still alive?

One of them. Which one were you talking about, though? The one that's dead, I guess, because she wouldn't hear it. Got it. Well, technically, she's sitting right next to you right now. So God is listening and Santa Claus. And Santa and other other beings. Orbs, I guess.

She wasn't. No, okay. No, I do. I think that, like, Like, I would love to know where that saying, like, came from. Because I do think that'll probably tell us a lot about, because people love to say that, like, oh, money can't buy you happiness. And it's like, when it came from someone that had the world at their fingertips

and they're just trying to not sound like a pretentious douchebag. I do think that it's true. I do think that it's true if you want it to be true. Like, I think that, like, I heard a quote one time. It was like, I may have been butchering. I may be butchering this, but it's like happiness is what you have minus what you want. So like on any sort of level, like what you have minus what you want. If you don't want anything, then you, then you're pretty content.

Or if you like, there are things that you want. And if you're just a person who needs billions of dollars in order to, like, that's the thing that you're after. Like, obviously that's a very difficult thing to do. So that person, hypothetically, would be more miserable than we are. True. If it's like, I'm never going to be done and this is whatever, and I have to be in a state of stress, and I never take time for myself or whatever.

Maybe that's why people are saying certain things like that. I don't know, but I think it's a stupid thing to say publicly to, like an audience. Yeah. Also, because, and again, this is, I know this is the nitpicky person in me breaking this down, but like, it also is entirely dependent on how a person defines happiness. So like if a happy, if there are people and I'm like this to a degree, I'm not afraid to admit it that like happiness is tied to a bit of like materialistic stuff.

You know. So if that stuff does make people happier, then yeah, money will bring happiness. But also if happiness is not in that, it isn't. So to say like, like money doesn't buy you happiness. And it's like, well, I do think that you... Technically, it can.

There's so much nuance to that, obviously. But I do think that, like, people think that they... If they had a bigger house, it would be better. And it would. But eventually, I think that you get desensitized to your position no matter what. And then it's like... Because if you move into the neighborhood where everyone's got big houses, I think that you adapt to that environment

and then you're like comparing yourselves to these people, you know? Like if you are in the NBA and you're making $7 million a year, it's like, I'm fucking chilling. But around you, these people are making 50, 60, whatever, a year. So you're kind of like, oh, I'm actually at the bottom of the tone pole here. So I feel like, and then you get caught up in that like race. Like I said, that's why it's like what you just said, I agree with. We're saying it's, it depends how you define that.

which is why I was saying it's like what you have versus what you want and if you and that's why I also started this by saying like what is your number of like enough essentially not that these two things are completely tied it wasn't like a fucking thing I planned on doing but once you get past a certain point

it's like oh I'm fine with being content here and I'm happy to you know kind of do this like some people just need constantly like they try to fill their problems with material things so like I'm gonna buy a car I'm going to buy a house. I'm going to buy clothes,

designer stuff, watches, blah, blah, blah, and then eventually it's just a watch. And like you're cool. You like the watch. It's cool.

But you become desensitized to the fact that I've owned this watch for five years. But the thing that I was trying to fix by buying a watch is going to be there. So I'll just buy another watch. Or I'll just buy a other.

You know, you're like, you can't fix your problems with things. Yeah. But like I said before, with that money also does come more access to. Yeah. If you're responsible with it,

Mental health services and stuff like that can in a way fix those, which is very helpful. Very helpful and is also kind of like an inherent flaw in that whole system. But like if you have more money, you can do the things that make you happy and you can fix the things that make you unhappy. So. Okay. So we're saying I can't fix every problem. Yeah. Duh.

Okay. Right. So, what percentage of problems do you think it could fix? Let's just give it a number. I'm going to say like 85. 85. Oh, my, you take that every day of the week, don't you? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, of course. Okay. Bro, if someone came to me and said, like, yo, you're going to have a billion dollars. But you can live with 15%. You can live with like 15% of your life being problematic. Yeah, you can live with that. Duh. Yeah.

Duh. Of course. I don't like, I hate the mentality, though, of just like, like why ask for a billion? Like you'd be good with like 500 million and it's just like because you're asking me to ask for a billion dollars and I don't want to do.

Well, it's a different thing. But you're asking me to be where this started is like there could be billionaires that see our clips and watch our show. And you don't know, dude. Like that's nuts. Is that not nuts?

Like that's what the fucking, that's what's so crazy about the internet. Like, bro, we could just be sitting here talking about the weight of our dick. and like there could be a billiaries like sitting there with a mother of pearl spoon eating caviar on a yacht in the Bahamas and they're just like these guys are funny they're not in the Bahamas I'm gonna like this not in the Bahamas you know what I'm saying yeah I mean that those are those are those are men and women that they lived with the mentality of trying to do things well

and look where it got them if you're going to do things do it well I think so my god you're so right frank i'm so glad you came up with that um we do have some more sponsors for today speaking of money uh this one is what is this we got skims uh skims makes underwear um and it used to be just for women now it's for men too you can shop uh underwear for men and women at skims.com uh they have a five inch boxer brief that is lovely okay i i i have a five inch boxer brief that is lovely. I have a couple of pairs of skims. They sent them to us, and they're very comfortable.

I like them a lot. I know Frank likes them, too. You know, it's a good... I actually got my secret Santa some skims because they ask for underwear. Ooh, big skims holiday season. Weird thing to ask your boy for, but is what it is. Big skims holiday season.

So shop the best underwear for men and women at skims.com. Let them know we sent you after you place the order, select podcast in the survey, and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. Okay. And lastly here we have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all-on-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket by canceling your unwanted subscriptions, monitoring your spending, and help you lower your bills. You can grow your savings. Okay, a lot of people sign up for free trials or they're paying for some online magazine or whatever,

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and you can join at rocketmoney.com slash basement. That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. So yeah, go put that money back in your pocket, folks. Rocketmoney.com slash basement. Enjoy that. Love how we transition from, like, where did we even start this episode? Euro guy. I have EuroFrank, Destroyer, and drag names.

Stroilers is the cutest game in the world. It's so fun. I obviously was joking. I know you wouldn't make fun of it, but like... You never know. No, I knew that one pretty well. I was hoping the name gave me an opening that I could just rip it to shreds. Just rip Yolanda Dumpster to shreds.

Oh, my God, Yolanda Dumpster. Yolanda Dumpster. Yolanda Dumpster. Oh, my God. People still, like, at our shows last year, people were showing up still talking about Mystique the Greek and Starla. Like, they were very popular. That was years ago at this point.

Oh, my God. That was a long time ago. That was almost. three years ago? Good God. You know, they were a big part. Maybe we bring them back some time this year. Good.

I mean, they beat the shit out of our face. I'll tell you that. They did. That was, I couldn't get eyeliner off my eyes for days. Yeah, my fucking eyelashes were, not my eyebrows were glued to my head. And you were a bearded queen. I was.

I was a fully, shaved. What were you going to say? Not fully, like facial shaved. Yeah. Oh, you shaved his pubes just in case. but they a bearded queen

that is a term that is a term I don't know and then we learned that drag kings as a term remember I did see a clip of it

recently and I was like damn dude that's like professional looking makeup well we had a professional makeup artist come like a drag makeup artist come in and do it

that took longer than the Halloween shit yeah because the Halloween they painted our face and just put prosthetics

on top of it. Yeah. And this one's like from the like everything, though. Yo. It was intense. And also like, very tight. Yeah, it's tight.

Everything was tight. You're like this. It pulls you. And your hair was. Remember we had to take the wigs off because they were so tight? Yeah. It was intense. Did they give you boobs?

No tits. Yeah. I mean, naturally some of us have some already. I don't remember if they gave you boobs. I'll tell you what. We do drag again. We're getting a 30. Oh, yeah.

Definitely getting a third. Oh, yeah. You'd be good, dude. I do everything I do well. See, I don't like that this is becoming a joke. It's not a joke. I don't like, I tried to express myself. I gave, and I'm being heartfelt.

I, like, you guys are killing it, you know? If that unlocks this every time, sure. What? If every time I say, well, he gives me flowers, I'm down. I just, it feels like you got, like I'm the butt of some joke now, and I don't like it. Frank, you're telling the joke.

I'm not telling a joke. Every time I start talking, you start snickering over there. And you're winking right now, you bastard! I'm not winking! Put the camera on him, Josh.

I'm not winking. Josh. He's so pensive. This is ant thinking. Yeah. What was your drag name again? Venomous, Viper.

Venoma, Venoma. Venoma Vesper. That's a sexy. What's one of those names, back again. I kind of want to have fun with that. I kind of want to do that. I go back. I want a new one. Yeah. All right. Joey, go pageant queen, Joe.

What's random first and last? I don't know. You go to that. It'll probably just run them, random, random, random. Give me, give me, give me. Dolly Swansonique? That's kind of sick. It's kind of dope. Sounds like what movie, what movie does that remind me of? Dolly Swansonique? Oh, Dumb and Dumber.

Yeah. Samson. A night? I was way off. That's not a bad one. Do one for you. Me? Go, go, go, go. Go another horror one. Ooh, do a scary one. He likes to be a spooky.

Silver Slater? That's good. No way. That's the best one. How do you get that and I get like miss shits a lot or something? That's fucking insane. Which one do you want? Doris Ball Sacks.

Yeah, give me stupid. Okay. There we go. Zamboni-tholnythaw. That's kind of like that. That's kind of not bad. Zamboni thongy seems like a last name. Yeah.

Yo. Speaking of thong. Thong song. Heard it recently. Still a banger. Let me guess where you heard it. In your car and you put it on. I was at the gym and I put it on.

Yeah. You're at the gym lifting. You're like, I really need to hear Cisco. No, no, no. I go through it like a, I have different. songs that come on every now and then and I was just thinking like damn thong song would hit right now and fucking let me tell you baby that don't don't thong like yo yeah see now you you see it like the end of the song also it's crazy how

like operatic he gets at the end about thong it's thongs which I wish I loved anything as much as Cisco apparently loved thongs in the year of our Lord 1999. Yeah. That's hell of the time. Do you try to time like reps with parts of songs? Yes. Yes, yes. That's why I listen to like upbeat music. Yeah. You know, because it's like, oh, oh, I meant like the climax of the song. You're like, I don't think I've ever described a song as having a climax. Well, you know, like the big moment. The, the crescendo. Yeah, the crescendo. As we call it in the

music biz. That is the right term for sure. Uh, I, I definitely, definitely like depending on like if I'm doing squats I try to do like the most intense song you know like like like really like rising like yeah because if it's just like a like I've been listening to a lot of Billy Joel as I told you and one of the songs that comes on in my playlist is Allentown okay oh we live in him in allentown yeah that's not on my squats playlist can't have that because you need you need a little pop buzzing bam yeah You know? Like Vienna can't really like it's a great song great song you can't do it during like squads no I could be deadlifted and doing that but then you put on scenes from an Italian restaurant you know things are okay with me these days got a new got a new guy got a new life got a new life and the family is fine oh yeah like you see what I'm talking about it like it just it needs to be a little more get me going get me going have you have you added or taken away things from from your gym playlist.

I just let Spotify DJ run that shit. Yeah. I skip sometimes and he gets tight. I skip and he's like, skip, skip, skip, skip. I'm like, all right, relax. Damn, they're yelling at you? Literally, he goes, skip, skip, skip. Here's your next put.

I'm like, bro, really? He's fucking play the song. So it's, what, it's an artificial intelligent, artificially intelligent DJ who's making fun of you? Apparently it's a real guy, like it's his voice that like they used AI to like say a bunch of stuff. And then they curate based off of your, your music taste. So like things I've searched or the songs I've been listening to recently or

songs that that were popular with me in 2020, something like that. So they'll play songs like that. And then they'll mix in like shit that I haven't listened to. Oh my God. Love you. But you're you're like running a workout music is probably miserable. It's like it's like my running play. Winy white men that sing into a bingo hall and like that's their form of happiness. My running playlist is like that. No, my, my, um, I lately at the gym, like, I'm, it's pretty strictly 50-sent in camera. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, that's it.

Hell yeah. That's all, like, but like, when I'm running, I'm trying to keep my heart rate low, so I try to put on slower shit. I listened to the, the, um, the, what's it called the other day? The, the, uh, I forgot the actual name of the song, but the, uh, there it go by Joel Santana the other day at the gym. Yeah. I don't sing that one at the gym. Also, my gym is mostly, like, 98-year-old men, so. They'd probably be, like, pumped if I was whistling at them.

Yeah. But that shit gets you going. So, I'm not old, like, the old, too. Early 2000s hip-hop is the fucking best. Welcome back, Joe. Welcome back. Early 2000s. I agree, though.

Like, just the old camera on 50 songs. Or I listen to some diplomat shit, too. Yeah. But I used to not do that. Like there are times, like, back in the day, I would just rip, like, very poppy music. I could see you listening to Celine Dionne at the gym. Uh, on my running playlist. Really?

Bro, what's the song? Do a nice when a wheel was so cool. What song is that? Oh, it's all coming back to me. That's on my running playlist, and I'm telling you right now, that does hit a, that does have a bit of a punch to it. It does. And it's all coming back to me, Joe. taken on.

Like, I could see Creed doing a cover of that. Yeah. I could. I could see it. Do me a favor. That you're begging for it. Run to Creed. And tell me it's not going to be the best run of your life.

I'm sure that would be, too. Like, those are some good running songs. I need songs that feel like I'm watching myself run in a, in a movie. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you see people running and, like, an inspiring, motivating part of a movie, and you're like, what song's playing there? That's the songs that I listen to Do you run

Or not you But like do you think people run to like classical music Like fucking Beethoven And like God I hope not I mean that would kind of Some of it would be sick Dun dun dun dun dun

I mean You're just running to Beethoven's fifth Or ninth Whatever the fuck I don't think he had a knife I don't even know Isn't there like a thing I'm not saying that I know this

This is good Isn't there a thing that like There's like a superstition And then after a certain symphony, the composer dies? Oh, I'm not familiar. Is that, you know what I'm talking about? That's too deep for me. Really?

Yeah. It's like no one gets past their eighth symphony because they... I don't even know what a symphony. No one writes a symph-I think it's just like a song. I feel like we haven't said the word correctly on the first try. Symphony. Symphony. Symphony.

Symphony. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what I do like to do when I get home? Not all the time, but sometimes I like to throw on like Louis Armstrong or something. Ooh, hell yeah. You know what I mean? Just to make it feel like, oh, what is this? Like an old flappers club? Yeah. I just spark up a cigarette at my own home. You know, it's a good one to throw on? We have a, we have a vinyl.

Ray Charles. Ray Charles. Hell yeah. Ella Fitzgerald. I have one of her. We got some Aretha Franklin, some Ray Charles. It goes on there. Who's the one, who's paintings from heaven? Why can't I think of her name? Bhabi, da'a, do me, to me. Is that Paul Anka?

No. Paul Anka. While he's looking that up, it seems that for composers, the curse of the ninth, it's more like the 27 Club now. You know, some people make it pass, but a lot of them on the 9th Symphony have passed. A lot of them. That's weird, dude. Yeah, the 27 Club.

That was a freaky one. Oh, my God, dude. I remember it being like in middle school like don't carry around a white lighter. The curse of the 27 is going to get you. Because it was like all those like famous musicians that died at 27 had like a white lighter on them when they passed away. Oh. I don't know if it's true. Billy Holiday was who I was thinking of by the way.

That was a cover, I guess. But like yeah, it was like all of them had like a white lighter in their pocket. So you didn't carry a white lighter? I didn't carry lighters. Me neither. I never smoked. But it would be like if someone had one, be like, don't.

Get, put it down. And then I do the thing where I take it and I pop it by hitting it on the ground. Nice. You remember those? Hell yeah. Dude, sick. Or you make crackhead lighters? Crackhead's just getting an absolute stray out of nowhere.

Yeah, dude, leave them alone. Leave crackheads alone, guys. Cracked up. Well, they need higher flames. Oh, so you know what a crackhead lighter is. Yeah, of course. I often forget, like, you grew up in Massbeth. I forget that that's Queens.

That's fair. Maspeth. Is it Maspin? Nope. You didn't grow up in Maspeth? That's close. Middle Village. Well, there we go. Why don't you told the address as well? I mean, we know.

I said you grew up there. I'm not saying where you live now. I said, no, you live three blocks down the way. Yeah, middle village. Fifth Street, green door. Yep. All right. I mean, people unlocked.

Like, do they still make? Look for the house with the flooded. Basement. Look for the house with the twisted tea bottles in the window. And people screaming at Mario Kart. That, yeah. If you're very quiet, you'll be able to hear them somehow. You're just going to hear, ugh.

Yeah. I did that just for the story. I didn't do that to try to gag bait you. I did see you, by the way, your Malloric calendar for the 25th day you didn't gag, right? I did not. Two days. Two days you didn't gag. Wait, what was the other one?

14? Stay 14 or 15. You didn't gag? Don't remember that day either. Yeah, you said like you blacked out that day. Yeah. Did you? It was, I came home from the bar, I forgot to do it.

I don't think I've ever seen you drunk. I don't get drunk. Oh, clearly you do. I get, no, like, I'm saying I get drunk, I hit a point, and I don't go past that. I kind of just fall asleep. Like, my body shuts down. That's how I am. Yeah.

I mean, that's how I was. I don't really, I couldn't even tell you the last time I was like, drunk. If I'm on Red Bull Vakazel, you'll see me. I'll start being. You'll see me. You'll see me. Red Bull Vodkas? You'll know me.

Because it keeps up the sleep person awake. Interesting. You know what I'm saying? Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you could make the...

I know your answer is going to be, but like if you could have one drink all night. Um... This is going to be like Jameson, ginger. Jameson, Silcer, the slice of orange. One drink all night. It's pretty close. I mean, I can't say like wine, right?

You could say whatever you want. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were just. We're talking about It's America, baby. Oh, I would say wine, then. All right. I like a cocktail,

I wouldn't, yours was probably Miller light. I mean, I like light beer. I'm definitely getting to a point in my life. I mean,

I'll tell you right now. I'll fucking, you can cream me up all night. I'll take a Guinness all night, dude. That's a good answer too. Actually, I lied.

I had three Corona Lights the other day, and then I was bombed. I'm like, I was like, what happened? What's going on? Do you remember the

introduction of Bud Platinum's? I do. Wait, is Corona light like that? Or is it lighter? No, I think I just, I don't, I'm not used to beer and I had, and I had three in a row and I was just, I felt it was like, whoa. Yo, probably the worst time in my life I've ever blacked out. I had a bottle of cheap champagne and a six pack of Bud Platinum's. I was on another planet, dude. I couldn't fucking believe how drunk it was. What percent is Bud Platinum? I think it's like, not like super high, but like compared to like Bud Light. Yeah. It's high. I think it's like 10.

10%? Whoa, that's high. Maybe eight, maybe eight, maybe eight. Eight's even high, too. Can you look at a butt light plato? Six. Six. But that's still, it's like, that's higher than a normal beard.

Which, but coupled with like, bottom shelf. It was Andre champagne. No disrespect to Andre, but. Do you, dude, there's a place over here and me and Nicole went to brunch there. And we're like, oh, yeah, we'll like do a mimosa. And she's like, do you want to just get a carafe? she's and so I'm thinking like oh because usually when people are doing that it's like oh you get more money's worth if you just get like another two instead of ordering four separately if you're going to have more than one so that was what I was thinking is like oh all right sure and she comes over with a carafe opens a bottle and pours the whole thing in and I'm like whoa I was like we don't want to drink a bottle of champagne I feel like I don't think a bottle of champagne is that much it's not that cramette

It just wasn't in the cards at the moment. I was like, half bottle of champagne. I was like, we're having like a nice little brunch and it was like, comes over with a bottle of champagne. I was like, I thought it was going to be like one extra glass. Yo, I am a problem at a, at a bottomless brunch. Yeah. I am a fucking problem.

Especially when it's, when it's timed, I mean, you're, you're, you're creating competition. You have, you have a two hour bottomless brunch. I'd be like, don't move. The first time I ever, I don't know if it was the first time, but one of the first times I ever went to one, it was like, myself, Davino, Danny, and I'm sure there was like one or two other people there. Yo, we legitimately had the server just standing next to the table and would refill his cup.

I would drink mine. And they stay there for like eight minutes. Like they just didn't leave the table. Davino, he like threw up in the bathroom. I think I broke a glass on the floor accidentally. I offered to buy it. That's why my sister was there because I felt bad because I broke the glass. I was like, I'll buy the glass.

And they were like, we don't give a fuck about the glass. We don't know what it costs. I don't work, but I felt so bad. I was just like, I'll buy it. Yeah. You know, I'm not. Good times. Have you ever had an Irish coffee?

I don't like coffee. Oh, yeah, that's right. Have you? That's not really an aunt thing. Is Bud Light in a coffee? Does that count? Bud Light in a coffee? No.

I've had hot tatties. Like maybe once. Like, oh, hot toddy. Have you had an Irish coffee? No, I was just thinking about it the other day because it came up like, or I was at a bar. There's a bar near me that has like great dinner. So we went for dinner.

But the person who was sitting next to me ordered a hot toddy. And I was like, I don't know if I like hot drinks. I like the one or two times I've had them. I like them. But you're right. I feel like it feels wrong. Yeah, what are we doing here?

Like, it definitely feels wrong. Also, like, mold wine? I think I did coffee, Jameson, and Bailey's once. It was pretty good. So then you basically have had. Yeah, it was pretty good. I'm just trying to, he jogged my memory a little bit. Yeah.

That's pretty good. That's pretty tasty. Yeah, I mean, if I was a coffee drinker, I could see that being a pretty appealing thing. I do like watching videos of people making Irish coffees. You ever see the guys making like 40 of them in a row? No, I wanted somehow at the end of my, before the end of my life, do the thing where they hold up like 12 shakers and they like pour it out

pour all the fucking drinks and they're like rainbow colored. Oh, they're all different colors. Yeah, shit is so sick, dude. Yeah, that is cool. Do you remember when you did Skittles shots? Were those colored? Yes, they were. I, so at a bar. Oh, I didn't do them at a bar. I made them at home. I bought. Oh, I thought you made me do when I did what my station was. We probably did. I did a lot of drinking of alcohol at Dittmar Station. The greatest bar that has died, that bar was great. That bar was fucking great. We were 21, so every bar was great.

I mean, 21. Do you remember it? Six, seven. Oh, that's what you were doing. No, you're saying. No, but that's where we used to go. No, but I made the Skittles shots. And I thought of them as like, oh, it's like a mixed drink.

And I had like a cup of it. And I was like, oh, this is just a cup of straight vodka. It was disgusting. But it was like, it tasted like Skittles. I'll say that. You guys made Skittles. No, but I do rainbow shots. I could do the pouring and...

Really? You can do that? It's different colors. I did it twice. How did it all do that? We could do it. It's just different, like... Yeah, you just layer it.

It's alcohols, right? No, not really. Towards the top, it's just mixers. Like, the first one's grenadine and orange juice, essentially. In college, it was a big thing that people would do the gummy bears or gummy worms Where they would just soak gummy bears or gummy worms and vodka And then you just eat the gummy bears and Are you jello shot guys? I like a jello shot but it's a little too much work for me to get drunk

I've had I've had a jello shot in my day That could mean that's what I mean This is the answers we get from him like I've consumed one before do you like them There's been hundreds Yeah, I like him Yeah It's just like It doesn't feel like you're taking shot

It's a little overtly sexual Just to get drunk I don't want to have to perform I don't want to have to perform A sexual act to have a drink That's the worst part about Jellos shots Is that you get them And it's like, I'm sucking the fuck out of this thing

Yeah, I'm It's fucking crazy Whoa Yeah, that was crazy The trick is to make them upside down What? Make them Trick is to make to when you make them

upside down Here's a better trick. I've never made them. And I'm not gonna. I think I've made them once before. It was like, I remember as a kid, we always hosted New Year's parties.

I remember my mom and, like, my family used to make trays of these bastards. I do remember that too. And honestly, might make some. You should. The fact they were still going.

You did it well, Frank. The audio only loose. I was going to say losers. What did you say? I was going to say the, audio only listeners. The audio only listeners. They're probably like,

what, what happened here? I think they can hear you just like doing something. Well, you know what? Have a jello shot this year. Have a jello shot for the new year.

I mean, this is coming out well after the new year. Yeah. You know, but like, I'm talking to you guys. Oh, have a jello shot. Should we make some? Me?

Oh, I'm not going to see you before New Year. No. We could do a jello shot Power Hour. No, we cannot. Guys, that would, I wouldn't be able to fucking walk from this. Bro, I don't know that I could eat 60 jellos in an hour. That's insane. That is a lot of jello, dude.

It's a lot of jello. I would like, imagine throwing up jello. Do you remember Power Hour? I know. I know, but like, that's such a fucking, like, yo, it would be like, oh, there would be like YouTube playlist of like early 2000s hip hop, power hour in every different song it was the show bro we used to sit there with shot glasses of beer like psychopaths i remember damn did we do one on patreon i think you we did years ago i think you did

i think we did one years ago i don't think we've done one reason i still didn't we time it oh we just had a timer yeah probably yeah i still think you should should do one with pizza rolls oof i could easily do that you think so i think between the two of us we could do a pigs in a blanket one no that's a lot 60 pigs in a blanket between the two of us 30 each oh oh oh Yeah, yeah. What? Without trying. I think we can. Power half hour? Power half hour. I mean, why? Because you're both taking one. No, he does one. I do one. Oh, every two minutes, you take one? Yeah. Come on. All right, we can do it. Easily. Let's do we got an oven here. I could do it. By myself, I don't think so. What if there was $3,000 on the line? Oh, well, hold on a second. I didn't know money was involved. I can very easily do it. Money was a, um, If I knew money was involved It's too late because he offered me first and you saw that Is it a challenge? I'll do it

No, I said, what if? What ifs turn into maybes? And then maybes turn into yeses. It's crazy And then maybe he's turned into yeses Um No This kid loves a challenge. Are you kidding me? I know it's insane. Nothing.

Such a whore for money. He'll do it for nothing. We got to find something good And he'll do it. I just don't want him to yack. I mean, I pray we've never had someone throw up on this show. We haven't.

We've gotten close. Yeah. I thought you were going to throw up once. There were a couple times. Oh, maybe when you shoved your hand down your throat. That's what I was going to say. I was like, yeah, that one will do it. There are some times.

We could do like, you know what would be miserable if it was like our least favorite foods and there was like 10 versions of them for a power hour. So like if yours was just like pickles. And what else does he hate? There was just 10 versions of pickles. Wouldn't that be? I mean, do you really hate pickles that much? Yeah, it's not good.

Pickles, malort. Jeez. Forget it. Forget it. Pickles soaked in malort. Ooh. That's a disgusting thought. I think that would probably taste pretty good.

Pickle back, but instead of whiskey, it's malort. Oh, man. That's a bad pie. You're double gag. That's a bad pring. She double gags. There we go. Yeah.

All right. That's for those audio losers. Or audio only losers. But yeah. Well, this is our last episode before we're going into the new year. But it is New Year's now. I mean, we're in the mid-December. Mid-January.

Where are you at this point? You fucking show the people your sausage at this point in time. I'm not going to do that. But. Showing the people how the sausage. just made. That's the reference. Yeah. I don't think you would show people your, your cock. Thank you for laying all that out. I want to make sure I say that very clearly. Thank you. Everything else I'm saying this episode is being taken out of context.

I'm coming the butt of a joke because I'm trying to better myself. And how are you going to better yourself again? I'm not doing this. All right. And never mind. Frank, we're going to find you. The Frank cover is all over. Patreon.com slash the basement yard TBITBY tour merch. Thank you. We love you. I hope that the holidays treated everyone safe if you celebrated any of those holidays. Ant, you can find... Just kidding. New Year say me. You guys can follow me at the Joe Sanagal. Go follow the show at the basement yard and that is all. See you guys next time. Wait, at the Joe Sanagano would change. Did I say that? Yep. Don't follow that account. We don't know who it is.