The Basement Yard - #543 - What Is Your Love Language?

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank's petting my dog. Yeah. I walked in. I didn't expect to see Charlie today. Hairy bastard today. He's getting a haircut today.

He's a hairy bastard today. I'm not a bastard technically. I mean, kind of technically. He is a bastard. A bastard dog? Refrain from calling him a bastard. I mean, that's a technical term. Maybe that's a leg up from the last time when you called him a rat.

I mean, he's not a rat. He is a hairy bastard today. I love a good belly pat. Smacking a dog on its ass. Oh, I love it. But, no, I think technically he's a bastard. Mm-hmm. Like you are.

Like in a Game of Thrones way? Well, bastard means of no, like, father. Through marriage. Like, no marriage. Oh, I thought it was just like the father dipped out. Like, the father's like, I'm out. So, because his father, who's his dad? A dog.

Exactly. Yeah. I mean, you are his, you know, his father, his caregiver. I'm the dad who stepped up. You're the daddy. Yeah. But he is technically, by all accounts, a bastard. And another bastard is ringing the bell right now.

I don't know why there's so many, like, bell ringing. There's bastards about. Can we not just mute that? I think we could mute it, honestly. Yeah, yeah, but now it's fun. I mean, now it's fun. I don't think they could hear it. They probably could.

Wasn't the bell at one point, like a song or something? It was the Titanic theme song. But then there was like an under the sea, like a little murmur? made one somewhere? There's a bunch of options that you can make the bell. Really? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's make it. I'd rather not hear it. Can I sing something to make it the bell? No. Why? Certainly not. Why? That would be one of the last things I would do. Do you think anyone has a basement you're at a ringtone? No one has a ringtone because it's 2026, Frank. I don't like that. I think we should bring back ringtone. Is your phone ever on loud? Yes. Yes. Is yours? Never. Not once.

Really? In the last 67 years. I don't feel the vibrations. Like I really really don't come on yeah come on good yeah good vibrations you know what I'm saying Come on come on come up baby Failing feel it Careful there's some there's some dicey stuff was around the time where you know He was throwing punches or whatever he was throwing something out yeah he was verbally and physically yeah um now Now he stays prayed up

Yeah 4 a. you gotta be up you gotta be work 4 a m to pray for several hours is crazy Yeah Um, can I say something? Because I wish someone was saying a prayer for me, but I went to the dermatologist two days ago and the guy saw my penis. Oh, not something I was prepared for. Yeah, you scared this shit out of me. Oh. You said say a prayer for me.

I went to the dermatologist. I was like, this wouldn't be the time to throw some massive ass of news on us. I meant like I wish someone said a prayer and like gave me the wisdom to know. I didn't know my penis was going to be on the table. You know what? I wonder if like, you know how like, um, like during like, like, What are they called? Sermons?

Or like, what is it called when like church people get together and they like talk and pray? Mass. Mass. Like, do you think during mass anyone was just like, I watched an episode of this podcast, The Baseman Yard, and I pray for those young men. And then they like, they talk about it in like the mass. I think anyone that religious is probably turned away by most of the comments you make about religion. No, I will stand by.

I respect people's choice for their own religious identities. However, organized religion is... Say it. And has not been kind to people. I just want to throw that out there. Okay. You want to be... You want to be, B.

You want to B, B. Yeah. But are you okay? Yeah, I'm good. Why did you go to the dermatologist? Well, I thought... Because my barber found this thing on my head, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm dying, and I went, so I did the same day.

Are you dying? No, I'm not. I mean, technically we all are. yeah but he uh there was this thing on my head but it's like a birth mark or something and the guy was like no it's you're fine don't worry about it but i didn't so i was like i hadn't been to the dermatologist in like two years or something like that so i was like let me just get a full body scan while i'm here and you know the woman comes in and she was just like asking me some questions and then she's like all right you know take uh take everything off except your underwear and put on this thing

and they give you like the paper dress you know what i'm not flattering why do they do that at least give me like something that looks cute. Or like something cloth. Like I'm wearing like a dentist bib on my entire body here. No. And it comes with a belt that you can tie around, but I didn't know. What was a belt of like hemp twine? It was like plastic, but I just threw it.

And I just wore it. And it was just like, fucked. And then the guy came in and he's like checking my body. He was checking my head and whatever. And then he's like. And then he said, Simultaneously, as he's saying, like, you know, I'm going to lift your underwear a little bit. He stared down the barrel of it.

Oh, he looked like fully, like went to the aquarium and saw the sharks. Yes, dude. And I didn't know what was going on because I thought that he was maybe going to look at like, I don't know, like my pew berry or something. But then he got to honestly, no, now that I think about it, like, that should be like heavily inspected. My penis? Not your penis. Penises. Yeah.

And. Well, he didn't expect. my penis. Like he didn't like grab my penis. So so it's sex. So if he didn't like fully do his job, he was checking the skin, I guess, around there. He was just looking to just get a sense of what you were working with. Maybe. And I'll tell you what, in that moment, freezing cold room. Ice cold dick. And also an unassuming penis. Like if I knew that my penis was getting looked out, I would have slapped it around a little bit. Really like you do your nipples. Right. Like you do your nipples. Yeah. Like you do your nipples. Did you do your nipples? Did you do your nipples? Did you do your nipples? No. You don't care with this guy. I think about it. It was colds. My nipples are already, like, hard and, like, ready to go. Gotcha. But my penis was just kind of like, oh, we're lamping. You know, it's just me today. I'm like, I'm off.

I'm off duty. You could have chiseled some marble with that thing. Yeah, with what thing? That thing. My penis? Yeah. No. In reference to its strength and probably pointy nature.

Why are you saying that? You said it was cold, so it shrinks and it gets hard. Not hard. Do you have a penis? What is your... Experience with the penis. I'm just saying like it gets like... When your penis gets cold, it shrivels up and gets hard?

Well, it's certainly not like constricts. Yes, yes, thank you. I don't agree. I'm trying to help. So what happens to him? We know what happens to him. What happens to your penis? By the way, I'm sick of this already.

Okay, you're coughing heavily. Well, that's not fair. I'm sick a little. I'm just, I mean, he's just doing it to fit in. I'm getting it for both angles. I'm always sick. You guys are fucking. DP sicking me.

Let's send our coughs his way. I'm not going to do that. That feels inappropriate. So when your penis gets smaller because of temperature. Temperature. What happens? It doesn't get hard. Right. It doesn't get hard.

I think it's just dense. Like it's all of the penis goes from an area of this to an area of this. It compacts. You know what I mean? Exactly. It's like a non-neutonian fluid. Like when you let it be, it flows and it's kind of chill. But then once you, like, hit it with something, it's like, coot!

Oh, so it's just like the non-utonium fluid. Non-utonion fluid, yeah. Oblek? Ublec. Yeah. Ublec. Yes, yes, yes. No, but, like, it wasn't, like, freezing to the point where my penis is, like, all the way up and kind of, like, clutching its pearls.

It was, it was just kind of laying there and just, you know. And the guy's like, all right, I'm going to lift your underwear a little bit. And I was like, he said, it took it down. He was also very professional. And then he went to the other side. This doesn't sound professional. This sounds like this guy's doing his job. He's checking my skin.

It's not like he went, ooh, or they put it back. Yeah, if he went, right, caramba, and then put it down,

that would be weird, especially weird because he was Chinese. But then he went around to the other side, and he lifted the other side too. So I was like he got two looks. Oh,

so you got to look at your asshole. No, no, no, no, he wasn't checking my asshole. I mean, he did see at the top of my butt. I mean, because he pulled down my,

I feel like if he was really good at what he was trying to get done there. You don't know how to look. First of all, my asshole. Listen, it doesn't take a doctor to know how to look at something. Sure does. I mean, no. That's all of dermatology.

No, it takes a doctor to know what you're looking at, but I am a good, if there is a whole, sorry, I have hiccups. Yeah, you want to take a break? If there is a whole class in med school about looking, I would ace that because like. There isn't. That's what I'm saying is like I can just look at something. But like, in theory, if he is going to be looking in those areas, he should get more of a look than a... He should go... Well, if there's no, like, mole or something there, he doesn't have to look.

But he won't see if there's a mole or something there because he can't... He look, but I have white skin and moles are like brown. So, like, you'll notice it on me. You know what, that is a good point. Yeah, mole stick out like a sore thumb on you. Yeah. So he got a good look. Wait, were you standing or laying down?

No, I was laying down on my back. You know what? Just stop talking. I'm okay. It's like dumbbell. He's fucking burping. He's on the train? What's going on here? I'm working through it.

Don't worry about me. I could get rid of it. Talk. You do vamp for a sec. I'm going to do it. Why did you say vamp? What does that mean? He's getting rid of pickups.

Yeah. I have a beauty mark on the bottom of my balls. And... I told you. I had a story. Now I know. I mean, I was trying to get rid of my head. How do you know that if it's on the bottom?

I don't know if I've seen the bottom of my balls. He can swing them over. Oh, is that it? You got big swinging balls? No, not really. But how do you know it's there? Well, I saw it once. I know how.

A mirror? I saw it once. You ever get a mirror and just like look at your thing? Sometimes. Times. Well, you got to do more than once. No, I think once you get a lay of the land, you don't need to map it out anymore. Frank avoids it.

My point is I was worried about it. And then one day when my brother was a baby and I was changing his diaper, I saw the same one. We have matching ones. It's like it runs in the family. Dude, you got to check your dad now. Yeah, you got to check your pops. Yeah, let's check your dad. Get your dad in here.

Get your dad in here and say, pull him down, yellow. Put the bottom of your balls on the table. Yeah. We need to find out. You should have like a family like male chat. Yeah. Where it's like you all get an idea of like what each other's balls are doing. Just the bottom of the ball.

Yeah, you don't need to like get into like, Dick. Yeah, we don't need to get into that at all. So I got rid of your hiccups? You did. Thank you for that. Wait, so he just like, you stand it up and he just goes, good. No, no, I was laying down.

Oh, so he like took a look under the hood and he was just like, all right, carburetor's running. Yeah, I mean, the woman told me you leave your underwear on, so I'm assuming like, all right, my penis doesn't have to be on guard. But then, like, I was. I wish every doctor that I can recall going to in the last decade has told me to get completely naked under the gown. And I hate it. I hate every second of it. It is very compromised. The doctor tells you, like, dump it.

They just say, like, please get completely naked. Completely is hilarious. Get fully. Get completely 100%. Just get completely 100% naked. Put on this gown that's open in the back. Yeah. I'm just saying, I understand that, like, there's reasons for, like, why medical clothing and stuff is designed the way that it is.

Maybe let's revisit it. It's like the paperclip. It's been designed the same way since the 1910s. We can look at it and try to. to find a new more efficient way to go about doing this. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to wear the paper.

I don't, I don't, I don't need, like, I don't need my ass to be in the wind. That's another thing. Like my butts out here. They should, medical, they should have more flaps and buttons. Um, I'm into it. Like if, if you don't, bro, I love Velcro. Brother, Velcro would be incredible. Yeah, just like, if the whole thing was made of Velcro and it was kind of comfortable for me,

you just rip open my Velcro, take a look at my ass. And I've been staple that thing back on there. Yes. How cool would it be if you go into the doctor and they give you like tear away pants like they have in the movies and stuff like that? Now we're talking. I had a pair of those in like middle school. I did too. I wasn't strong enough back then to rip them off.

Oh, I was. And let me tell you. They tore. They tore away. Yeah? Yeah. I got pants than like basically like. Have you ever been pants and your penis popped out?

Probably, but I can't remember it. Have you? No, but I've been in front of the person who has. The penis popped out at you? And you're like, oh! That's what you did, you freak. That was terrifying for a second. I'm not going to lie, that scared the shit out of me.

And you were like, because you said freak. And the F, and I was like, dude. Oh, no way! I don't know. This is all happening again now. You should know. That happened at the park once to one of our friends got pantsed, and his penis came flying out.

I don't want to say his name. Give me, give me, give me, like something only you and I would know. A keyword. He lived across the street from the park. Still does. I think you're going to need a second hint. How do you not know that? Yeah, all right.

I guess I know. Oh. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. His penis came out. Was it? Well, came out.

Was it a good showing? No. Oh, no. Not that, not that, like, I don't think that's, like, fair. Not that's up there. I don't think the doctor should be like, oh this guy you know I wasn't ready no I wasn't ready brother dicks are like wrestlers like they need to warm up and they need to do some air squats bro LeBron shows up at like noon the game isn't

until eight and he's the greatest like you got to give me some time the dick needs the dick needs some preparation it needs to know what it's getting into where what it's going to do what the goals are and then it can perform appropriately I'll tell you this one time I was at the doctor the truth story. This is years ago, right? I went to the doctor and he was checking my balls and this is the first time that they've ever done this to me. I was probably, I don't even know. I was like in high school

and he's checking my balls. I like saw my penis retreat. Like I watched it run back into its cave. Yeah, like it was just kind of like, oh no. And I had never, and I still have never seen that. But that was the one time that I'm like, man, this is uncomfortable and cold.

And like, it just. Homer's Simpson in the hedges. Basically. Literally. And I was like, this is bad? Is this over?

Because get me out of here. That sounds. Dude, imagine being a doctor and just holding balls all day. Tough job. I mean, I don't think they're like, they're there.

They have the, you know, the thought process. Like, I'm doing this for a medical reason. Of course. They're not like. But still,

you got to hold balls. We knew someone growing up. I don't know if you remember this, but that said specifically that they wanted to become a gynecologist. First of all, All the kids we grew up with are fucking idiots. So I don't know how any of them would say that. Even the smartest of our friends, me, would not be a gynecologist.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know that we didn't have any doctors in our group. There were no doctors, which is not surprising. Actually, kind of is surprising. What? That none of our friends like, just by statistics got into, like, doctorhood. Doctorhood. Yeah.

Maybe people we, like, grew up with but weren't in our immediate friend group. I'm closer to being a doctor than you. What does that count for? Nothing. All right. It's just, it is, it is a, it is a stone cold. Are you closer to being a doctor? Technically, yes.

How? I've gone to school. What does that mean? I've gotten, before you go to med school, you need to get like a pre-med degree. Yeah, but you don't have any knowledge of anything medical. I have a good amount of medical knowledge. Yeah? I think if you, which class?

I mean, if you were to start asking me some stuff, I would probably be able to to give you a roundabout. That's not based in like academic like the credits you need. What did you go to school for? Uh, criminal justice. Got it. I mean, there was some, there was some, you know, there were some science courses we had to take in there. You know, rigor mortis. That's it. I do know rigor mortis. So the movie, the, the, the body stiffens. Yes, it does. I mean, that's, that's something to know. You know that. Well, now you know it because I taught you that. I just said it to you. I was the one that originally on this show taught you about, Algar.

Why are you saying tut? taught. Am I hearing things? Come on. Don't specify. See, he's trying to throw me off because he knows I'm proven a great point here. I'm not.

You're saying, I taught you, Dad. I did teach you, Dad. Now you're doing that. No, I'm not. He's talking like a baby.

No, I'm not. I taught you, Dad. I taught you Dad. You're saying Dad now. I know, it's just the way that from you to that is coming out. Talk to you that. That was better.

It was. It was. Thank you. I'm glad there's another person here now. Don't, don't. This is what he tries to do. Tell me, Dr. Alvarez, how close you are to being a doctor, because you study criminal justice. I'm not saying that I am close in, like, relatively speaking, but I am closer in relation to you.

What was the point of saying that? Nothing. None. Zero point. No, there is a point. To show up. There is a point to saying that. And it's because you want to shit on me. And that's what's going on. 100%.

Here's what's gonna happen from now on, okay? Okay, if we're together, he's getting pissed. Uh-oh. He's getting pissed. No, no, let him go, let him go. If we're together, we're on a plane, we're in a restaurant, and someone goes down and people are like, is there a doctor in the house?

I'll say, hey, he's almost one. He's only all of the credits away from being one. I mean, I- took remedial math in college and has a degree in criminal justice. Let him help out. Excuse me, I took several courses of calculus. He knows wriggumortis. If the guy dies, he knows what it is.

Get him. I took several courses in calculus, one. Two, first of all, in that situation, there will be a doctor about. There will be a healthcare professional somewhere there. If it ever got to like the lone survivor situation where it was like I was the closest thing to a doctor, I would try to do my best. Are you familiar with lone survivor? What's the, what was that?

A designated survivor. Excuse me. Sorry. Well, Survivor is like Navy SEALs. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Designated Survivor, I think, is what I'm referencing here. Remember that show with Kiefer Sutherland? I think it was? Well, Frankie has played Call of Duty, so he's much closer to being a Navy SEAL than... Oh, yeah. No, no, I've never said that.

See, now you're taking... Oh, wow. He's trying to inflict stolen valor upon me, and that's incredibly disrespectful to all the people that have served our country, which thank you for our service, by them. Oh, man, you're a professional. He said our service. Thank you for our service. He said our service. I didn't mean to.

He's a Navy SEAL, but he's a medic. Because he studied criminal justice. Thank you for our service. I mean, let me take a sip before I get the hiccups again. Oh, sip break? That's new. I think it's not a sip. It wasn't an organized thing.

He took a sip, I took a sip. Oh man, that was funny. So, well, okay, I'm glad to hear. Have you ever been in a situation where someone's went down and people need a doctor? Yes. On the flight back from... On the plane? Yes.

In the air? Yes. Ooh. On our way leaving the Houston, not Houston, sorry. The Austin shows last year, yeah. We were taking off. And then all of a sudden, as we're like climbing, I see people running back. Oh, no.

And I'm like, fuck. Like, like running back like, What was your thought? Like, oh, the flight attendants are doing this? Yeah, and I'm looking back like, fuck. And then I, and then, and then, and then I look over and they like, like, go like this to like there was a, there was a woman in our aisle. They come up to her and they poke her on the back and they go, you know, I can't hear them because we're climbing. I have my headphones in.

And then I like look in the aisle and there's someone laying flat in the aisle. Oh my God. And I'm like, fuck. Yeah. So they announced on the, uh... Be honest, it a part of you go, okay, it's not the engine, thank God. Yes, of course. Yeah, and we were leaving Texas and it was an old white man.

There was a part of me that was just saying like, you know... Whoa, dude. Maybe he... What were you going to say? Maybe he deserved it? Okay, Josh. I'm going to give you a little... No, no, no.

So, so we're flying and then they go... Oh, go ahead. I think he's just preparing. We're debating whether to cut to this. Well, we're in the air. And they, over the loudspeaker, like, we have a medical emergency. We're going to have to land in Houston. And I was pissed because you know how much I hate Houston.

So we landed and we had a D board and we were there for three hours. And then we got back on and they said there was a medical emergency. A man while we were climbing had lost consciousness and they couldn't get like a read on his pulse. Oh, my God. And finally, like, once they were like, once they were back up, they got him back to. But then they were like, we have to land at Houston. And he has to go to the hospital because like we're not, you know, God forbid this were to happen again while we were, you know, in the air. And it was fucking scary.

And then like the person that helped him, the medical, like health care professional that helped him, everyone like, we gave like a round of applause. They got like a complimentary seat in first class. How do they know that this person was a doctor? I don't know. That's a, have to like announce yourself? I don't know. I don't know if they had like said something before. I don't know like,

I don't think like you report, self report that when you like. I mean, it would make sense. Like maybe if it's on like your boarding pass, like if you can like opt in being like by the way, my doctor's case. Yeah, like when you book your,

yeah, if you book your, like when you book your flight, if you're just like by the way, I'm like you check a box or something. But that's terrifying. Bro, I was scared. Yeah. And I,

you know, the guy like seemingly from like when he was leaving he was conscious. He seemed okay. But he an old bag? Yeah, yeah, he was an older man Like extremely? Um I'm not a good judge of character

White hair bag? Yeah, all white hair I would say in his 70s At least You know, but He seemed to be in good spirit Like he gave the thumbs up When he was being wheeled out

Like so it seemed like he was okay Which good but like also Like when a player tears their ACL I'm good Yeah Yeah Damn that's terrifying That shit was scary

And you know how I am on flights too So like I see that I'm just like oh fuck You know On other people's lives, we talked to a flight attendant, and they told us that, because we, they kind of talked to us about a lot of things that you don't realize with flight attendants and airplanes and whatever. And then we kind of ask the question of what happens if someone dies on an airplane?

Because you have to assume that it's happened. Or it happens every year, I'm assuming. I think I know this. And they just put a blanket over. Yeah. It's fucked, dude. Yeah. Because they have nowhere to put you.

Where are you to put you in the bathroom? And to my knowledge, like the, the, the, the, like weight distribution and you know stuff like that in the plane is very important so like i don't know if one person's going to throw off the balance but like they just put a fucking thing over you and you're just that is banana bro if i was sitting i mean i i would imagine that the airline would compensate the people sitting next to or near that person sure uh but for that flight oh my god if i got to fly next to a dead body oh i'm i'm getting every i'm getting 100 000 miles for free. Are you kidding? I am riding out to the bank. Yeah. I got upgraded on a flight recently,

and they put me in first class, but they put me in the seat that, uh, that like other pilots get when you can like close it. Oh, what? I don't know that. Yeah. You never seen that? No. Like, if you've seen people like pilots sometimes on planes, they like, well, they're flying back to whatever, so they get on the plane to go home. And they put them in a seat that like has a, a sheet, not a sheet, but like a curtain. It's kind of like, yeah, like a curtain essentially, but it like locks on either side, so you're kind of like, no one comes near you at all. And I was in that seat and I was like, too, I was like, I probably should shut this,

but I didn't because I was afraid that I would get in trouble. Yeah, I've not really gotten, the only time I've ever gotten like something like that is when, where were we going? I think is when we were flying to Columbus. They, they said like, oh, it's a husband and wife. They want to sit next to each other. Do you mind switching with them? And I was like, yeah, sure, no problem.

And then they were just like, we're giving you free credits. We're giving you the, and I was like, that's very nice. But you know how I am on planes? I get in my seat. I try not to move unless I have to pee because someone made me drink a bunch of mimosas. First of all, you're the mimosas whore. I'm not a mimosa whore. You've literally started that twice.

I think on the way to Puerto Rico, that was completely your fault. I think Puerto Rico, I started it. It was you. And then the fucking flight attendant. was an enabler. Yeah. And I think on the way to Texas, you started it. Texas.

When we went for South by Southwest. Yeah, maybe. I think that was you. Probably. Because. Puerto Rico was bad, though. We landed. We did.

We did. That was a lot. I think we had like seven on the plane. That's terrible. That's honestly bad flight attending. No, I think that's great flight attending. That's an incredible. You got to cut some people off every once in a while.

I mean, but we weren't being loud or stupid or, you were being very quiet. You were listening to. Creed. I was listening to Creed. I was taking pictures of you listening to Creed. Right. Yes. That was the extent of our flight. Yeah. And then we got there and we, what did we do that first day? We went to dinner. I know that we, we actually. Oh, we got a tour, a walking tour of Puerto Rico. We did. And then we went to, uh, what's that place called? La Factory. And then we got a drink there, I believe. Remember the, the place? Oh, the like oldest, one of the oldest bars in the world or something like that. And then we did go to a, a liquor store. And we bought a whole bottle of rum. What's your phone? My phone just spoke something to me. First of all, tell you phone that we're fucking recording an episode of the basement yard. You're making him mad.

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They have over 30,000 therapists. It's the world's largest online therapy platform. Okay. So again, that is BetterHelp.com slash baseman yard to get 10% off of your first month. Patreon. Yeah, it's me, Frank, from the basement yard, back here to talk to you about this beautiful little thing that we got going on at patreon.com slash the baseman yard. That's the subscription service where you can get more of us, earlier of us, a little bit extra of us.

It's so incredible. So go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard. There's several tiers. Check out that first tier. You get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance, seven whole days in advance, one whole week in advance, okay? Just like my favorite Game Boy. And then that second tier, guess what?

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Everything that's in there, Bucco. You could go and you can watch old Patreon episodes from two years ago, one year ago, three months ago. I don't care. You can do it though. The world is your oyster. So put some fucking Tabasco and horseradish on it and suck that bitch up.

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And then you type in patreon. com slash the basement yard. Sign up that way. Save yourself some money. All right. We thank you guys for getting us to over 40,000 patrons. And know what that means that we're going to record us doing a Pigs in a Blanket eating contest for an episode. You'll be able to see that on Patreon. We're also, we just did the Pastry on where we had some Italian pastries. That was fun. There's also a bunch of stuff on there. So go check it out. We thank you guys so much for all the love and support. We're going to figure out what we're doing for 45 and 50 if we're so lucky.

So go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. We love you. Thank you. We'll see you there. What are you doing? Seems like yesterday it was a Saturday morning. What's going on? Was that you? Was that you on the recording too? Yeah.

Can I hold on to that? So I can hold it into this mic? I don't want it to get dinged. I'll do it. I got it over here. Just make sure you hold it up to the mic because I can't. I got it. I don't want it to get dinged. So this is both you. I'm starting it over. Come on, guys. Grow up. Yeah.

Okay. What should I call this in the notes? This is my tribute. That's what you could say that it is. Tribute. Okay. Here we go. Seems like yesterday it was a Saturday morning.

I was five in trying to escape the boring. Fox kids turn it on the TV right now. Bright and colorful suits. Wow. Megazords mean so much to me. Cool weapons and teamwork so touch with me. Even though you're gone. I'm still a ranger.

Forever with Zord I'll never become in strangers. Open up command center after your place. Heavenly legacy on earth and space. Morty Morphan Zio Turbo 2 in space, Lost Galaxy, you know I love you. Every key you make Every... Alright, let me start the chorus again. Every kya!

You make! Every yaw! You take Every monster you make, every... It's morphing time! You say I'm missing you. Thinking of the day. There's more.

Where we would wake up and play Every kiyah! You make, every Yacht you take! I'll be missing you. Listen, I don't know if you guys do this. I'm just a passenger here. I'm just a passenger.

That was your tribute? Yep. The Super Sentai, which was the Japanese program that ran for 50 years that the footage was used for Power Rangers Rangers for decades has come to an end in Japan and I want to send my condolences to the Super Sentai family you've given us so much and we're doing a seven kha salute to you are you gonna do seven what'd you write down I wrote down Frankie Tribute dash Power Rangers not a single note was on beat because the beat to that song usually is by the way

is that I'll be missing you? Yes. That doesn't sound like I'll be missing you. Really? That's what it sounds like to me. In preparation for this, I listened to the instrumental. Yeah. And, you know, I just wanted to write something to represent, you know, the decades.

Yeah. Of just joy. Power Ranger. And entertainment. Are you upset? That the, well, the Power Rangers brain is still alive. Let's make that very clear. I believe it's actually under the control of Disney and it's in good hands.

Oh, well, you can make the argument. They're trying to revive it. But Super Sentai, which is what the footage was used. If you ever watch those old, like Mighty Morphing, jokes aside, guys, come on. Let's get serious. Oh. If you ever watch Mighty Morphin, like, all, like, the footage of them, like, the monsters and them in the suits, that's archive footage from the Japan show from, like, the, like, 80s or something like that.

Oh, okay. So. And then they just do, they have like the Americans. The American teenagers with attitude, you know. Right. And, uh, you know. Didn't one of them kill somebody? Uh, you know, I don't know.

I think one of them killed. I know that like, uh, the original, um, Yellow Ranger, she had passed away, like, very young in, uh, car accident, I believe. Uh. But I think one of them did porn. I think I saw that. Porn? Yeah, like one, like, one of the Red Ranger? Rangers or something did like a little like Ricardo Medina Jr.

Who's that? Ex-Power Ranger sentenced to six years killing his roommate. Yeah, I killed, man. Really? What does he look like? Is that Rocky? It might be rocky. What is Rocky?

What are the Power Rangers, dude? What color? Red. I think he was also blue at a certain point, but. I think I saw a couple of Power Rangers boxed not that many years ago. Really? During the boxing craze? Yeah.

I think two, ex-power Rangers. Well, a lot of them were like legitimate martial artists. How much to get you to box somebody? Who? Like, I don't know, like a random YouTuber or some shit. It would depend on who it is. Like, because if it's someone that I know I'm going to get my ass whooped? Well, what if it was someone that you're like, like, I'm not afraid of this person, but I'm going to have my workout.

Like, I have to work at it, you know? Like, like, a sort of an even match. I'm trying to think who would be, like, an even match for me. Because I'm pretty strong. Who would be your match? I have no idea. Markiplier. That's who you would...

What? I think that's an even match for you. I actually don't even know what he looks. I mean, I know what he looks like, but I don't know how tall or big he is. I don't know how tall or big he is either. That's a good question. You might want to look that up.

I mean, we're not... This is about you. Oh. He's 5'10. Is he 5'10? All right. So then you're only 5 inches shorter than him. Like, you'd be fine.

Yep. I would say you're not going to know who this is. Someone Frankie can boss. I think you'll know who this person is. Scott the Waz. You're right. I have no idea who that is. He's like a video game.

Reviewer? He talks like video games and does like video essays and stuff like that. Are you a similar size? I think he's smaller than me, but I just... You're not boxing this guy. Is it a Pipsqueak? You want to see Scott the Waz? I'm not even saying...

I'm saying comparatively to Frank. No disrespect to Scott the Waz. I love his stuff. But... Frank. This looks like Keith. Keith can box it. But how tall is he?

Let's get a tail of the tape. The tall is not the issue. It's the weight classes. Let's get a tail of the tape on Scott the Wads. I mean, he doesn't look small. He looks... 5.5. So then what...

He's not 5.5, is he? First of all, the question is, does Scott the Wazes have scoliosis? Who are you picking for him? Oh, I didn't know that. 5.7. He's 5-7. He could box him. Frank. No. Uh, I mean, how tall is Mr. Beast?

He's tall. He's tall. Really? Yeah. Really? But that's a good, like, that's probably what you would do. I don't think we're gonna be able to get Mr. Beast. No, no. I'm, well, this is hypothetical. No, I mean, we're not, we're definitely not Mr. Beast. What's the five? What the fuck?

No, he's probably six three. No fucking way. He's tall, dude. He is. I would say six three. Bro, if Mr. Beast is six five. But let's say hypothetically, right? They were like, yeah, we want you to a box Mr. Just before we do that, do you appreciate this? Yep.

Okay. But if they were like, you're going to box Mr. Beast, how much money would you need? Because you're boxing Mr. Beast. I mean, it's Mr. Bees. I'm asking for a couple. I'm saying at least a mill. But he's not paying you. Why not? Why would he pay you?

He's boxing. Oh, who's putting it on? If they got to pay for Mr. Beast so that I'm going to ask him to also pay for me. Yeah, but they're going to negotiate. He's going to negotiate and get most of the first. So what's Mr. Bees getting? He's getting a couple mill. I'm asking what's okay for you.

I know. I need to know in relation to what Mr. Beast is getting. I need to be somewhere that obviously I'm not a Mr. Beast level attraction. But it's not about that. It's about you guys are coming in separately. So you have to get enough that it would be like... I think you should just box him for free. No.

Well, that would actually... Boxing Mr. Beast. Yeah. I would say honestly, realistically, $100,000. Okay. I think that's fair. We could get you in the ring of Mr. Beast for 100 G's. Yeah.

I mean, at 6.5, though, he's beating the brakes off me, probably. I mean, he's not like a... Big dude. He's like 6.5, but he's kind of... My guy, 6.5, like 5 inches in that world. Yeah, but you got a lot of power. I do. Thank you for saying that. I'm trying to think of other YouTubers. I don't know. I'm not. You know who you could...

Who's the guy from... From Smosh? Shane. Shane? Joey versus Shane would be an incredible matchup. Boxing? That's funny. Joey's took boxing. How big is Shane? He's like... I think he's around your height. Okay. But he's kind of... He's kind of yoked. Is he?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, five seven. Five seven? No, he's a couple inches shorter than you. I'm gonna drag him around the ring, that. He's also very nice, so you might be able to, like, guilt him into like... Yeah, I could probably gaslight him. He's got big arms. Look at him.

He's not small. That's quite the photo, Shane. Yeah. He's got some power. That's what an incredible headshot. No disrespect. The last name, Top. Oh yeah, this dude is kind of yoked. Is that real?

Yeah, no, he wore this. I saw this skit. What is that? Is that a shirt? I don't know what it is. Dude could... But we don't know... We don't know... We don't know if you grew up on the streets of a story of New York.

That's true, yeah. So, and... I got a little bit of an animal in me. And you got a big an animal in you. Would you fight, like, maybe a... What's his name? Dan Hurley? Who's that?

The... The creator of... Hurley? No, no, like, bacon. Bacon on everything. The food... Mr. Food? Epic meal time?

Epic meal time? That guy. Harley? Harley? Harley? That guy would beat the shit out of me. Harley? Harley?

Harley? I know Harley. He's tall and big. He's huge. Yeah, he'd probably whoop my ass. All right, maybe not him. What about? He's a big guy.

I'm trying to think other, like... I was starting to just fighting. I don't know. Look up just Google popular YouTubers and let's go from there. You want to start that? All right. I'm not saying I would beat these people up, but like in a like organized boxing situation.

See, it's tough because I watch a lot of, like, I don't watch a lot of YouTube, but like the stuff I do listen to is like movie video game content. I do? Oh, you know who Joey would do good in a fight with? In a boxing match with? Matt Pat. Who's that?

You know Matt Pat, right, Ant? Game theory? Yeah. I'm trying to fight. I don't know if we could just get like a bunch of famous YouTuber pictures here. I mean, we know that both Paul brothers would mop the floor with us. At this point. Like, it wouldn't even be fun.

Fight Ryan from Ryan's world. Is that a child? That's a child. That was a child. It was a child. child or they did? He's got to be older now. No, he's like, I don't know he was dead. No, he's got to be older now. Casey and I-Stat?

Oof, yeah, that dude runs like 10 miles a day. That'd be a tough one. I don't know if I could just find pictures here. See that way. I would just beat on his ribs. Casey and I stat. Oh, rib shots. Oh, like, you're like, you said he didn't want to talk about this, and now you're fully telling us how you would go about beating these people.

This is never going to happen, Casey, you know? Also, he's not going to gas. Yeah, this is never going to happen, MSG Yeah, we've said that before, you know Well, I have no interest in fighting anybody I'm not going to break my nose Would if they paid for you and I to fight Me versus you? Yeah

Oh my God I would God how much money I would pay to see it I wouldn't do it What's with what's with that? I just want to see it You want to see the world burn You back in the day How about 2-1-1 we beat the shit out of you

How's that? When we were teenagers There were kids in our neighborhood That would bring boxing gloves to the park And like we would have like Boxing match I mean, you know, they were the dumbest things in the world. I definitely got my bell rang before at one of those.

There was a kid in our neighborhood that had quick hands, Mikey. He doesn't want to fuck me up, dude. He fucking hit me in the stomach once and fucking ruined my day. Dude, this kid was smaller than me. And I was like, I'm going to fuck him up. Lightning quick. And I, like, jabbed him and I was like, this is going to be embarrassing. And then he hit me two times in the side of the head.

And I was like, hold on, I'm dizzy. I literally had to stop and be like, oh, fuck. Speed kills. Yeah, dude. Yeah, what are you going to do? He'd beat the brakes off us. That's so funny. I can't even remember that.

Yeah, that's great. I remember in PS2, in the park. They were like a couple people did matches and I like didn't want to do it. And they were just like, come on, it's Mikey. It's like, all right. And then he fucking. So, so, he was quick, dude.

That's so funny. Have you ever boxed? I put gloves on. I'm shocked. This isn't something you and your boys have them done. You put gloves on? I watched them all box in the basement. Chaz versus Danny one time

Oh, Danny That sounds rough I think Chaz hit him so hard in the stomach He immediately had to go take a shit and it was over See that happens to me too Really? Like if I get punched In the stomach or like I get nervous I got a dump

Huh I think it's just like a I don't know like it like contracts I don't know We are completely getting off of topic here What was the topic? My my loving beautiful tribute

To the Power Rangers I think that was... How much can you possibly say about... I mean, so much. And I do think that the wordplay was incredible here. We know you think that. Seems like yesterday it was just Saturday morning. I was five trying to escape the boring.

You just woke up on a Saturday morning and you're bored? Well, I want to escape the boring. So like Saturday morning kids cartoons, you know? Megazords mean so much to me. Still. Cool weapons teamwork. So in touch with me. Me with me?

well much to me touch to me touch with me like it works because of the much and the touch oh yeah well yeah this is crazy you know

the touch means so much to you open up the command center enter your place whoa dude what that's sexual is it if you're uh yeah I don't think so

that's heavenly legacy on earth and in space that is it's true where's the word play these are just words mighty morphin Zio Turbo 2, in space, lost galaxy. You know, I love you.

I don't even know what that meant. Well, those are all different seasons. In order, actually, which is kind of impressive. Actually, I think I left that light speed rescue in there. But still nonetheless, pretty impressive. The much touch. You know, and then every... Kiyah!

Mm-hmm. Just incredible. I mean, listen, I... What would you say your love language is? Ooh. I'm coming over there, too, so... You're coming on them, dude? Oh, God.

I meant I'm going to swing to you. I'm going to write a song. You're going to swing with him? Oh, shit. My love language? I would say it's physical touch and words of affirmation. You like words. I do like words.

Nice. They're reassuring to me. Yeah. And I like to be reassured because sometimes you need it. I need it. But definitely like love and, you know, hugs and kisses and affection and stuff like that. Yeah. I also like, you know,

acts of service. Well, you can't just pick all of them. I'm, but like, I can't pick one. No, I mean,

how many do you get? If you were to give me, well, what's your main one? I would say, if you were to give me out of 100%, I would say I'm

40% physical touch. You just said that was your most. If you, can you just listen to me, please. Well, if they break down,

if the other ones are broken down 30. Thank you so much. And then 20, 2020, who's fucking guy? Me? You know, why,

like, why, I want to look them up right now. All right. Well, I mean, you know you could have the person that is their job to do that. I know. And as soon as I picked up my laptop, I realized that. And I was like, I'm already here.

Do it first. Do it first. Yeah, put it up. Love Languages. What are the love languages? What's your love language? We just went from talking about boxing Scotthawaz. Oh, they said.

You're saying there's five. Five? Click. What are the five love languages? Wait, it's up there. Oh, no, no, no. All right, it tells you. There we go.

Acts of service. Receiving gifts. Quality time. Words of affirmation, physical touch. If you had to rank them, what's your number one? Physical touch is a big one for me. I am very affectionate with with Becca, with, you know, the kids. Obviously, like with the kids, if they, like, don't want it, I don't.

Well, with Becca, too. Let me make that very clear. Let me make that very clear. The kids, if they don't want it, that's fine. Becca. Sorry, Charlie. I would say physical touch is my, like, big one. And then you said words of affirmation.

Acts of service, quality time receiving gifts. But I love gifts. I love gifts. So that shows you how I feel about all the other stuff. You love getting gifts. I do. So much. You think that's an appropriate way to receive love?

I'm not saying it's my main one That's why I put it at the bottom I'm saying like when you get them You're like oh that makes me feel like this person loves me I think that in addition to all those I think if it was just the only thing that someone was using No right but in addition to these other things that are also These other boxes that are being checked

I think it's it's a nice because it's thoughtful It's you know it's going out of someone's way Sometimes in order to get something And then the monetary aspect of it I do like it quite a bit Which I think I know yours Can I guess what yours would be? Let's see what you got first.

We're ranking them? Or in an order. Give a top five. I don't know. I like receiving gifts to clarify. Is it giving as well? Are you familiar with the word receiving? I know, but like...

Yes. I would say what you're asking is, yes. I don't think so. I feel like mine would be like giving. Yeah. Like giving gifts. Same. Exactly.

That's the way that you receive love is giving gifts? No, that's not what I'm like. I didn't know if these were outward or inward. These are obviously, like, they have to, this is how you... Okay, so this is inward. But this goes two ways. This goes two ways, because I love giving physical touch and getting physical touch. Yeah, but your language, I always thought it was just... Well, now, now, I'm recalibrating. I would put gifts then at the bottom. Yeah. I think acts of service at the top, quality time. Wait, hold on, hold on. Access service is number one.

Quality time is number two. Okay. Physical touch, uh, words of affirmation and receiving gifts. I don't care to receive gifts. I like giving. I do too. But I do like. But I do like receiving gifts. I love gifts. I'm not putting that out there. Love gifts. For me, they're not getting anything from us now, bitch. Fuck you. Love gifts. What's your birthday? It's past. It just passed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a whole thing on here for him. I know. Okay, we'll kiss later. What's yours? I think I know Joey's. Go ahead. Joe's is quality time. That is my number one. Acts of service. Words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts. I wouldn't say that. I would say that's

close. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a words of affirmation. They're just words. I don't give a fuck. No, I do like words of affirmation. That's kind of where I think you get it wrong,

is that I do like quality time and then probably words of affirmation, then acts of service, what's left? Oh, no, no, no, no. So quality time, ooh, not quality time, physical touch,

acts of service. Words of affirmation. gifts. Hmm. I think. I mean, we all put gifts at the bottom, but I do think that, like, I, it, I like receiving gifts, but I also, like, since it's a thing that I like, I like to do it more.

Like, that's why what he was saying before, like, to me, it goes both ways. So, like, I love physical touch. I like to receive it. I also love to give it. You know what I mean? Yeah, but it's, but it's not, it's not how you show love. Yes, it is. A love, a language, if you think of the term language, if you think of the term language, you know,

It's something that is used both ways Which we would prefer to be shown love Like so how like how do you receive it? Yeah but who said that? The this Vaggivy Yeah and then you see at the end there Where they have like a little thing

I know I'm not I'm not saying that they're wrong Licensed professional psychologist All right I mean I always interpreted it as like It's something that you enjoy So you also try to give it out You know like Yeah I think that kind of goes with it.

I mean it's a love language. They're all like positive things in some way, but it's just how you, like, I don't really have a lot of, uh, attachment to like physical things. That's why, you know, we're very different in like, you save every card that you have and like, you know, you collect a lot of stuff. Like, I don't really have a lot of that. I think that there are certain things that I'll hold on to and that, you know, I have meaning in, but like the gifts thing, I, if I, if I didn't receive gifts it wouldn't it really I really wouldn't

waver at all as long as the rest of the stuff was there was there but I do think that receiving gifts like in my opinion all of these things kind of are supposed to work in tandem and receiving gifts is in theory an act of service

and like a not a word of affirmation but it is an item of affirmation because there is so much more that goes behind the physical item it could be a fucking it could be a not like it could be a A rock, you know, but it's just like, I saw it, I thought of you. Like, there's more behind the gift than just what the actuality of what it is. Well, receiving gifts is not an act of service.

Act of service is like taking something that you don't want to do and they're doing it. Or like a chore that you don't do that they always do or something. It's not, I don't think it's, active service, not gifts. I mean, in this, they like, obviously they differentiate. So I would assume they're different. Well, what's a word of affirmation? just like I love you yeah just you're incredible

you mean so much to me positive affirmation yeah not like negative affirmation what's negative affirmation just like you fucking suck but I'm gonna keep you around you know yeah

it's gonna be positive what are you puzzling you know you look puzzled it's just interesting so I feel like do you need words of affirmation and receiving gifts at that point with the other three I think that it would be nice to hear I think it's just, these are all supposed to be positive things, obviously. It's just where some people like to be reassured and it's like, I like hearing it all the time.

You know, and it's not that I dislike hearing, you know, words of affirmation. It's just I hold the other stuff in a higher regard than I would then. So, but without one of these completely, aside from gifts, I think that I could, you know, live without that completely. But the other stuff, if you took one of them away, I think it would be like detrimental, like the dominoes. would fall. Well, there are some people that are very, like, they don't like physical touch, you know? Yeah, there are some people. There are some people that, like, for, like, acts of service, they're like, no, like, I got it. Let me do it. Like, you don't need to do it. Let me be in service to you. So everyone's different. Every ass has a seat, boys. That's what I

learned. Where'd you learn that? My father. Don't forget, Frank, every asshole has his seat. I, uh, Yeah, yeah, that's basically how he's... Not an asshole, but like, Frank, listen. Well, you know, they say, every ass has a fucking seat. Every ass sits down somewhere. Do you think that's true? Do you think there's enough chair?

Yeah, there's got to be. Every ass has a seat. There's enough chairs in the world to sit everybody, right? Maybe not chairs, but enough things to sit on. God damn, that was sexual. That was crazy. Yeah, you're talking about penises. I'm saying every ass has a seat and ants just like...

Every ass has a face. Is a five-seater couch one? Every ass has a face. That's what he said. What does that mean? I don't even think that's true. Like, because every ass is a seat, because you sit in a seat. Oh.

And he's saying, oh, sit on my face things. Yeah. Does a couch count as five chairs or one chair? It's not a chair. It's a couch. That's right. So now the couches aren't chairs. We're talking about chairs.

Well, if we're getting into like polygamy, then it's like every ass has a whole fucking room of couches. No one was getting into polygamy. No, my reference was just couch versus chair. I'm talking about. See, why do you need to break it down like that? And also, fuck the Mets. How about that? Why do you wear that hat around us?

Jesus Christ. It's supposed to be words of affirmation here. Yeah, I'm not giving you anything. How do you think you show love? In the ways that I like to receive it. Got him. That wasn't a gotcha. I was asking out of curiosity.

I got him so good. No, I think that the ways in which I like to receive them, I show and then partnering that with what Becca's love language is, I, You know, because it's meaningful to her, I show attention to whatever her hierarchy of needs are in terms of a relationship. You know, love language-wise. Who put the heart on your hat, by the way? That's how it came. Oh, really?

Yeah. Wait, no, no, no. On the brim. Yeah, it's how it came. Oh, it looked like someone just put like a piece of chalk. No, it's nice, right? I like it. Is it for like, what's it for?

I got it for Valentine's Day. Oh. Yeah. It's nice. You want to see it? I can see it. Oh, well, you're right there. That was rude?

How was that rude? You're supposed to say yeah, and then see it. That's what I'm supposed to do? Yeah, why? See it. Looks like it feels nice. Just be careful with it. There you go.

Good catch. Thanks, baby. Damn, you progressively put your head. You smack that on your head. I brought something because you guys talk a lot of shit recently. Do you have to get to the ads? Yeah. Get to the ads.

Then I'll tell you about some of them. I brought something? I brought something because you guys talked a lot of shit. Okay. We have some... Whoa! I almost threw my computer on the ground. Throw it, bitch.

Guys, we have some... Oh, I forgot about this. Damn, I called them a bitch. Oh, you did. That's the first one, I think, all years. I have two tallies down. I don't know. I trust past me.

No, I know, because I called you a bitch. How many do I have? You have nine. That's not good. Yeah. I trust past me. You have two, but now you have four. Wait, what?

I don't know. The bitches feel like they should be worth double. It's just a feeling he has. That's the Game Master. All right, so we do have some more sponsors here. We have Warby Parker. Okay, Warby Parker, they make glasses, okay? Glasses, these are very important.

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That is 15% off when you buy two pairs of glasses at Warby Parker, spelled W-A-R-B-R-K-E-R-K-E-R-com slash basement. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Okay, so go on and enjoy that. We also have ORA frames. This is a lovely gift. I actually got two different people in O'Rofram this past Christmas, but if you haven't done it, you should.

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coverage, borrow cashback offers and promotion provided by Cash App, a block Inc brand. Visit cash.dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Okay. Beautiful. Love it. Yes. So as I was saying, you guys talk major shit on one of our recent episodes. So I decided to bring you some matcha to make you. You're going to make matcha? I'm going to make you matcha. Yeah. Doesn't that require hot water? Yeah, what do you think I got here? Oh, that's hot water? Yeah, baby.

I come prepped and ready. Oh, yeah, and it's still pretty good? Put your hand on it. Take a sip. Okay. Don't. Wait, no, no, not actually, because then it's got a backwash. Yeah, you got backwash.

So I got some matcha, so you'll have to start the prayer. What's the... What's that? What's that? Look at it. Look at how beautiful it is. Because you guys talk so much shit, and I hated it. Look at how beautiful and green that.

It's so green. I actually love that green. That's so green, right? Can you get it? Can you get a, can you get a get a? Can you look at that? We can see it. I'm just gonna do a little this. That's all you need. It's all you need, baby. It's not much. Five little dustings. Well, it's a good amount of dustings in there. There's a little. I'm gonna be honest, too. You know, I'm gonna be honest. I know you're gonna. That's what I'm hoping for here. Okay. You know, and I got my little. So does that container last you 40 years if you only need that much matcha? No. It's not. And then you go like this. And you look at that. Look at how green that is. Yeah. That's green, baby. Yeah.

That'll get you going. It looks like Pesto, kind of. Could we do some ASMR into the mic, maybe? Actually, don't do that. No. It's not nice. Then you're supposed to add a little more, and you're supposed to get it really going. How often do you do this?

Like make it? Yeah. Every couple days. I don't like make it every day. Doesn't having to do this whole process just make you go, I don't want it. Oh, why would it do that? It's a nice little like me thing, you know? It's a moment for me.

What's so funny? The way that you're doing it. Why are you doing it so hard? You're supposed to do that to froth it up. Oh, you got to like do it mad hard? Not feeling any love. Yeah, I'm not, this doesn't feel ceremonial. I'm not getting a good froth on this, but.

Maybe because he had it. I feel like he's been out the game. He hasn't done that. Also, I'm going to come out and say it. That thing that the whisk was on looks like something else. Like a booty hole plug? Yep. Am I supposed to drink this?

Yeah. Come on. Oh, right from the... Right from the bowl, baby. That's all you got. And that's a handmade bowl, too. Who made it? You made it?

I made that bitch. Did you? Yeah. Where? I went to pottery. Through some mud with Becca. My name's on the bottom. Hell yeah.

That's cool. Frank. A. C foam. No. That's the color. Oh. Yeah.

Did you paint it too? I did the glaze. Well, like, I picked the color. They did the glaze. Oh. Give it a shot. You got to. That's what it's supposed to be.

It's so stinks, though. It's so good, stinky. No, it stinks bad. It stinks so good. It's very green. That's what it's supposed to be. I'm not complaining. I'm just making a knobs.

Just give it a swirl, whirl, whirl, bang, and hurl. How do I do that? I don't know. Right? No. It is barely anything but water. What? It's like, do you want to try it?

I'm not going to drink it after you, sick boy. Oh, let me try it first then before. Let me try it first. Let me try it first. Let me get a cup. Let me get a cop. Here, try it. I don't know.

You say it's barely anything. Well, I mean, you're making it seem like I'm going to. Oh, no, that's delicious. Yeah, like you're talking about, idiot. But you're making it seem like that's supposed to be, like that's so different than any other matcha I've ever had. Well, yeah, because you're probably. have a not great quality match. No, I'm saying that's similar.

He gave you all of it. Try that, baby. It's good. It'll get you there. It's really tasty. You don't sound too happy. Give it a slam. Come on and slam.

If you want a jam! Come back. Come on in! Try it. Really? What does it smell like to you? It smells like a worm. It does smell like a worm.

But like it's... It's like grass. It's wormy. steamed vegetables I get steamed vegetables is in bed try that why are you are you a cartoon character

are you drinking like a hummingbird like Doug funny I'm actually liking it right now got him got him so good it could be because I can't really taste well because my nose is stuff well fuck you

hold on don't hate it just to hate it I mean I don't like it I would never that's I mean if you don't like it whatever I don't care Yeah, we all don't believe that

But it's just like It's a nice little pop of green I feel like I'm breathing dirt now Really? Yeah, like I'm breathing it smell this Like open it and smell it Just throw it Yeah, that's easier The taste is much better than how that currently smelt

And I think that's what's helping What? Like it's smelt awful Yeah Oh, it tasted better than it smelled Yeah, and that's helping Take the little, yeah, take that off I kept it on there

Whoa, it's foaming Well, it's like a potion. You see it coming up? Yeah, like, I feel like, am I being like, I'm going to pass out? You'd be a horrible witch. I would be a great fucking witch. You'd be a horrible witch. Shut the fuck up, I'd be great. You wouldn't be a good witch. Dude.

Toil, toil. That's a caricature of witches, and that's offensive. Oh, all right, so I'd just be like a cool, like, hipster from fucking, you know, like, lights candles and enjoys sage. What does that smell like? Try this again when I'm at 100%. I'll bring you watch all day, man. This smells like something. I mean, it's like, it's like steamed vegetables.

That's kind of what you get. Brothy, like a broth. I can smell a broth, but like if there was a raw leg in it. Well, come on. You know? I mean, how is that? This smells like a, like a white person's ear. See, now, how do we even get there?

You know what I mean? How do we even, like, in what world? Does that even make any sense? I just feel like it smells like that or like dirty hair. Does it even make sense? Yeah, like a dirty hair or a white person's ear. Maybe a sideburn? Maybe that's like a...

Why are you like specifying? Because I'm smelling like skin. The smell is way worse than the taste. How is it smell bad? It's not bad. I can't believe you guys. It is truly astonishing to me that you guys... I'm not saying bad.

You guys smells like signs. Oh, let me get. I guess it'd be better if it was a dino nugget, you freak. Dino nuggets are fantastic. I know. It's in reference to your, like, vanilla eating style. You know that's not true. I know, I do know that's not true.

You bastard. It used to be, though. And to be clear, this would be much better if it was a dino nugget. I would love a dino nugget. I would love a dino. Fantastic. Oh, it'd only be cooler if it was a $5 foot long on Italian herbs and cheese chicken pizziola, Joe. That's so specific, but I haven't had one of those in the while, but I was off that.

And you guessed it probably shouldn't. Well, I'm not. I don't. What was the other thing? Oh, I used to get a sweet onion. What? It sounds like a baseball field. You ever been, when's the last time you played baseball, like on the field?

Oh, I love baseball. But we threw out the first pitch. We did, that's right. When was the last time? We were in the middle of... Last time I was on a diamond? Good question. Let me think.

That's true. In front of 40,000. Yeah, we also nailed it in there, baby. Simultaneously. We fucking crushed that. That was kind of wild. That's a real baseball feel. I'm talking about, you know...

Kids. Oh, this is like one that like the outfields, like got weeds in it. Yeah. Oh, this smells like weeds. Sure. Hmm. Like an unkept garden. Really?

With like a tire in there. You know, like one of those you are? No, no, I'm not contributing to that. Oh, you know what it smells like? Poison Ivy. I don't like that. That's not right. And if you're smelling poison ivy, don't.

Because it can get in your lungs and it can be very bad for you. Really? Have you ever had weeds or vines grow up your wall and you take it down? And you kind of get dirt. So you guys. As soon as you take it down is what it smells. You guys are describing... You guys are just describing greenery.

Which is what that is. But it's an experience. It smells like the experience. A little nuance. So you started with, it smells like a white person's sideburns. And now you've gone fully into... It smells like removing intrusive vines from the side of a brick building. But both can be true.

I don't think so. I do like the... Vessel. Containers nice, right? Yeah, I do like this. I didn't make that one. That one I did not make. Masterful, 30-day shaded.

Yeah, baby. That's the good stuff there. And I made this bowl, too. Isn't that nice? It's a really nice bowl. I crushed that bowl. Is that for this, or you made it just because of the bowl? I made it for matcha.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Wait, you went to the thing where it's like you press on the wheel. Yeah, dude. Is it like impossible? It's hard. It's hard. There's like a lot more to it than I thought.

Because I thought I was just going to go in there, throw some mud and make like a fucking full of like blown vase or some shit. Yeah. lot more skill required to do it, which I didn't know. And I didn't expect. How many things did you make? I made, I think I made three things and Becca made three things. Bowls or?

I made a little, like a little flower vase for her. Like a, did it go like, whoop? No, it's just, it's a little one. Like, it's meant for like a single flower. Oh. And then I think she made a couple bowls too. And I, and she made me some cups. She's, yo, she fucking threw that shit.

and she kind of crushed it, but it was really cool. I would highly recommend going and throwing some mud, because then you come out and you're covered and all, like, all, like, dried up mud. Then we get to cosplay as, like, construction workers. We get to cosplay as blue collar men. I, like, left there and I was like, oh. Oh, man. Yeah, you want to put it on your face a little bit on me?

What the hell? Yeah, rough day on the site. Yeah. You know? Last time you had a black eye. I would love a black eye. ever had a black eye. I had a bad one once and I was kind of hype about it.

Really? Well, I don't like it when it's like a full black eye. But when it starts healing, then it looks cool. Yeah, like when it gets like fat and clothes, I don't like that. No. But like just under. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had a black eye. I got a black eye because I was playing basketball in the morning.

And it was actually Valentine's Day, which is so weird. But it was Valentine's Day. And I was a lovely day for a black eye. Yeah. Yeah. and uh i don't know that sounded weird but then i got elbowed in the eye so i had to go to the nurse my dad had to pick me up i faked like i had a headache i knew what i was doing yeah i was like well i pincust i think yeah yeah yeah i was like i'm going home um and my dad came into the office

and you know how my dad is he was probably double parked he was in a rush and he uh mad the whole time yeah he came into the the nurse's office and i had like ice on my eye and he just walked in. He was like, what happened? Your girlfriend punched you in the face because you didn't buy anything for Valentine's Day? Nurse didn't laugh at all. Didn't crack a smile at all. Not a joke. Not a joke at all. And I was like, yeah, I go, but I got a headache. Wait, how old were you? Uh, this was

seventh grade. Yeah. Do you have a Valentine in seven grade? No, I, no. I didn't. And you were riding Dolo? Yeah, I was just dolly, just playing ball in the morning. That's sick. Did I have a girlfriend in seventh grade? I don't think I did. Just shooting three points. pointers for Valentine's Day. You know what I love? This is my dribbling, by the way.

Yeah, we can tell. Nothing's, nothing makes me, you know what I love? Sound of a swish. Shkush. Shikash, shush, shush, shush, shush. Yeah. But I had a good black eye for a while.

Yeah, I've never, I've been very lucky. I think I had like a real gnarly bruise once on my, on my hand. Oh my God, because do you remember when we would play manhunt in St. Francis and I would climb that like, like, it was like an exterior thing that popped out, like one of the entrance doors in the back. Yeah. I would, I would scale and climb on top of that. And on the floor next to it was like those like grates. And I fell one. And I hit my hand straight on one of those grates. And I got a giant bruise in the palm of my hand.

Dude, so bad. I didn't even know your palm could bruise. Yeah, of course. I mean, anywhere you have skin. I mean, I believe. I guess that's true. I was led to believe that. That. I was led to believe that. But yeah, that sucked. And then I had one from like paintball, but like that's not the face. No, I got one on the inner thigh. Oh, that's the dark meat. Yeah. They shot me close too. I think I can get hit with your wing ding. Yeah, close. And like physically they were close. Oh, wow. I think I can get hit with paintballs now and not get bruises. You don't get to decide. this can't be this can't be true

I think he's like setting it up no I'm not I'm dead serious 41000 I'll light you up it could be real quick we get one in here I mean

you have one you see like a paintball guy I have one you shot me once twice have I oh I did shoot you 45000

I'll let you guys each shoot me three times with a paintball gun Frank 5,000 is such a jump it's insane 41 41 I need to put

I need to set a fucking standard I know my word You're shot with a paintball gun I'll let you shoot me for 41 I don't care okay

see how I set that up That was quick. That was easy. 41,000, I'm shooting you how many times? I don't know. 41 times. And you just do what? Live the dream.

I mean, I'm not going to agree to that. I mean, you said I could shoot you. And then I said, how many? Yeah, you can. How many? And then you said, like, well, how about you both get little duck costumes and I shoot you both? Duck costumes? No, because you would be holding on to some stuff.

No, never. And you're like, oh, this is double jacked up CO2, so it's going to come out of 400. PSI. I don't trust you guys because it'll be like, these are fucking paintballs, but they're actually filled with like twisted tea. You know what, now that I said it. Shoot me in the mouth.

That doesn't sound that bad. Shoot me in the teeth. 41,000, I would say he can bring in a paintball gun and shoot you and I three times each. I have a feeling that we'd want to be shot more. Is that weird to say? Yeah. I feel like that's true, though.

How? I mean, that's fine. How is that even... Well, first of all, buddy, you don't get off Scott Free anymore. I know. People see you. They can see your eyes. Yeah, ever since you installed that camera now.

I was trying to... Now you're part of it. Yeah. Who's shooting us then? Oh, that's tough. I mean, we just shoot each other. It's like rock, paper, scissors. I shoot you, you shoot him, he shoots me.

Also, not for nothing. A lot of people are talking about, Edward Fortyhan. I couldn't tell you how many messages I got of Edward Fortyham. Really? Oh, bro. Instantaneously. hundreds. Really? I didn't know that. I didn't think people would be like... I think people like when we get a little bit. I got a little drunk. I got a little drunk. I also

haven't had a... I haven't seen a 40 with my eyes. Do they still exist? Definitely. How you're saying that with a lot of confidence. I bet I can walk into literally any deli right now. I'm fine. Google how much a 40 ounce beer costs? The money's the issue. Let's do that. 40,000 patrons. Let's figure out if they're affordable. Well, I just don't know. It's got to be six bucks. If it's six bucks, that's disgusting.

In a good way. What are we looking for? Cores, right? A cores one? Or a Bud Light, yeah. What?

This is a joke. Oh, four bucks. Wow. I feel like the price hasn't got up in it. There was three bucks. When we were drinking them, they were like anyone buys them. When we were drinking them,

they were three bucks? It's like four, in between four and nine bucks. When would it be appropriate to have one? You know what I mean? I don't see any reality where, like, unless it's,

like a two liter of coke you know what i mean like you get one for like a party yeah but you who does that i mean i'm sure they had it as a bottle beer it's a it's used for a reason that's crazy dude it is crazy i will say this i'd be disgusted by that don't ask me why beer tastes better when it comes out of a 40 ounce bottle now he's horny now he's getting excited i just i just i it does i had a i think everything tastes better out of glass i yes i recently had a beer on the super bowl i had a i had a i had a i cracked open a Miller and I took a sip and I audibly went, this tastes like college.

Like just that beer in particular at that point just tasted like college. A Miller Light? Yeah. Okay. It was, it did the trick. It did the trick. But I'm surprised that people wanted to see the four. I guess it makes sense.

They like seeing us a little like, like a little. Yeah, like he texted me. He was like, have you gotten a lot of messages? I'm like, yeah. Really? I mean, yeah. That's. Interesting.

That would be a throwback. I haven't done that in 20 years. It's not been that long, brother. It's not been that long. I've done it maybe 10 years ago. I did it with ESPO. I have a picture of him and I doing it like 10 years ago. Really?

Yeah. Where? At my house. Was that when we were going to your house? 10 years ago? No way. Well, no. We were going to our house 20 years ago.

Ew! That's so gross. I have a memory from 20 years ago. Disgusting. Yeah. really gross. Isn't that disgusting? Of old memories? Oh, what was that? 20 years ago? Like, yeah, we're going to get older and be like,

oh, that was in the early 2000s, and I'm going to put a bullet between my eyes. Because that's going to feel crazy. Yeah. I mean, my parents were like, oh, that was like in the 70s. Like, we're going to say that. Bro, next year. Like, I think like 2006, I don't remember as much. 2007, I remember quite vividly. Next year will be 20 years from 2007.

And like, that's what, what? I just thought that was like, Very similar to our, the experience. I'm saying, like, I don't remember 2006 as much as I remember 2007. So next year, when I look back, I'll be like, that was 20 years ago. You had vivid 20-year-old memories. Vivid, dude. Vivid.

What happened in 2007? I just remember, like, it was just such a, like. What grade? We were going into not 10th. I think it was, like, 10th grade. Sophomers? Yeah. Oh, no, ninth grade.

10th grade, maybe. I don't remember. So, like, high school. ninth because I'm after you guys no because we started we were in nine we started in a high school in fall of 2006 and then we so holy shit did we yeah yeah we're fucking old bags our old bastardsers old idiots old dummies yeah dude my god that's insane ew I'm disgusted by myself so we used to when my mom would go away for the weekend 20 years ago drink at my house and play beer pong yeah isn't that banana

I don't think I've ever done 40 hands I've done four local hands See but you guys are not That's so much worse That is so bad You cannot You could literally hurt yourself I haven't had a four loco since

College and I I don't think I ever can't The last time I had them was with you in Connecticut I actually didn't the last time I had a four local I didn't know it was a four loco I thought it was power aid because it was in a power raid bottle And I chased like I like mixed it with vodka Yeah

I had a bad night that night Hell yeah. It was not good, brother. The last time I had a for a loco with me and Josh fought. Yes, I remember that quite vividly. He started. He punched me right in the face for no reason. He did.

On the dock. I asked him who he was on the phone with, and he just turned around and slapped me across the face. And I was like, I'm going to kill him. Yeah. This was before he was training, so I had the best of him. Yeah. If there was a rematch now, it wouldn't be good. Tell you what, he slaps me in the face.

I've asked him on the phone with. I'd be like, you know what? It's probably an important call. I'll turn around to go the other way. Well, Anne was just saying that he could box Josh and win. Yeah, we should set that up. I remember that, right? You should set that up.

Yeah. Interesting. You should go to spar with Josh a little bit. He'll take it easy on you, but he'll definitely throw a knee at you. I die, I. You know? Yeah, he'll fuck you up. But you did say that you could beat him in a fight.

I don't know if I said it. I'm going to tell your dad. It's crazy that he's talking about his coworkers in such a violent fashion. I know, and I'm going to have to talk to HR. just talk to them all right well Frank I appreciate you

bringing in the ceremonial grade matcha yeah if I ever get it back you haven't given it back to me I have it yeah I know but yeah

thank you for everyone like Frank said 40,000 patrons we're gonna figure out what we're gonna do but we're definitely gonna figure something out and yeah

that's such a crazy number thank you guys so much for all the support I remember you know, being like, wow, you know, I really hope we can get to 3,000, and now we're at fucking 40, which is insane.

So we appreciate all the support and everything, really awesome. Frank, where can they find you? The Frank Alburn is all over social media and then go check out Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. And you go follow me at Justin. God, I'll go follow you on the basement yard

and that's all. See you guys next time.