The Basement Yard - #544 - Whole Milk Is Back

Episode Date: March 2, 2026

This video ridiculous! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank's wearing the merch. Look at that. Show it off. Oh, I got a little dandry. It's not for sale, but... It's not.

It was. It was, but it's not. So, eat your heart out, bitches. And Frank is actually drinking... That's two of the generals. But I am one of the bitches if you're saying bitches. No, because it's our shirt. Oh, so you don't have to...

You have one of these shirts. Or you don't. I don't. Why? Can I... I never asked. Can I ask? Sure. Why? What's the question?

Like, we went on tour. Yeah. And we had, in our second tour, we had a lot of city-specific merch. Yeah. You famously took none of them. I, you took all of them. Famously took every single thing. I took, like, two, and then I realized I'm going to have a stack of these shirts as a memory. But I don't really have space for it.

I don't have a lot of storage in my apartment. You're going to get to, like, when you purchase your first, like, I'm going to live in this home, you're going to get there and have nothing. I'll be fine. I mean, like, I know you'll be okay because. No, I have things. But, like, you have things, like, I remember one of the most jarring parts about going from an apartment to a house was, like, you get into the house and you're just like, oh, I have nothing. Like, you basically furnish two rooms. Yeah.

your living room, your bedroom. Well, even that. My living room now is much smaller than I plan on like a house living room to be. Damn, that's crazy. This kid's going to fucking, y'all, please, like, whenever you go looking for houses, send me the listing so I can see too. That would be so sick, dude. It's not going to be for a while.

I think it's probably a lot closer than you realize. Probably like three years. Someone here is in trouble. What do you do? How do you know it's me? What if it's you? It's certainly not me. It's not him.

I would have yelled at him already. never really him, is it? So, so we did the pastry on episode on Patreon. On Patreon.com slash the basement yard where we tried pastries from... That I brought. That you brought. Thank you so much. But, Aunt forgot to get rid of the milk and left it out.

Oh my God. Ew! So I can see it curdled from here. Oh, my God, that's disgusting. So I love a lamp of shit. I told Aunt he needs to open it and just take a sniff. Why do I have it? You have to do that. Are you going to sniff it?

All right, if you sniff it first, I'll sniff it first. No, you sniff it first, and then I'll sniff it second. And then you have to sniff it third. Come on, solidarity. We're boys. Yeah, but you're big prank boy. You got to- I am. That's why I'm breaking you.

You do it and let me see your reaction. Yeah, yeah, and then we'll do it. No, you, you, you're the one that's in trouble. I am promising to do it. Well, then you have to do it first because you got in trouble, because you were a bad boy. No, if he brings it over there, I know he's going to gag and I'm just going to do it. I know, that's the best part of it.

go in order. It's perfect. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's a good idea. How did I get roped into this? You got roped in. Look, look, look, look. I used to, I used to, uh, that's a lasso, which is rope. Which made of rope. I, this is like my nightmare. When I was younger, I had this thing with milk where I had to smell every, I mean, still to

this day, if I were to drink milk. You know the reason why that's full is because I opened it on the episode and I smelled it and I didn't really enjoy the smell, so I was like, I'm not drinking that. And that's when it was good. That's when it was like fresh. So now I'm like. So now we're in a bit of trouby.

Yeah. I just think that as Ant was the one that left it out, you're the one that's in trouble. So you should be the one to crack it, sniff it. Yeah, but you brought it over there. That's true, I did. It'll go Frankie, then Joe, and then I'll do it. But what guarantees that you're going to do it? Something tells me you're going to be a little sneaky little, I'm not going to say it,

because somehow you got roped into me owing you money if I say the word. How do I know you're not going to back down and not actually obliged and take a whiff? Well, if he smells it, I'll probably get beat up if I don't smell it. I mean, so that if he doesn't, you're not gonna. No, I didn't say that either.

I think that we should. I feel like I could see in your face that you're kind of gagging already. A little. It's in my tummy. He's like, yo. It's in my tummy a little.

I mean, I'm not going to talk about it. Tommy, dude, you're 30. Stummit? Not 30. Tell me it up,

maybe. He goes to Disney enough. He could still use tummy. That's fair. I, I won't specify what it was, but we filmed something the other day and I legitimately gagged.

Yeah. During someone explaining, something. Right. And like, I was surprised because normal, I have a pretty good stomach. I don't, throw up ever. I'm like, I can see things that are kind of gross or like smell things that are kind of gross. And I'm just like, that's gross. In that moment, it legitimately made me gag. And I was like, that was crazy. There's your line. That's my line, I guess. Let's see if this does the trick. Yeah, yeah. You got it. Oh, it's, it's tight. Oh, my God. It's so gross. It's tight, brother. Honestly, watching you do this is like kind of worse for me.

It's not going to blow up, right? People get a... Could you imagine it exploded in my face? I'm not kidding. I'd fucking leave. I'm not, I wouldn't record. It would be a short episode. It would be a short episode.

Give it a stink. Give it a stink. I don't think that's the word. Give it a stink. Should I smell the cap or the whole... Should I go nose? The milk. The milk.

Smell the cap. Okay, here we go. Looks like water. You ready? How am I doing this first when you were the one that... You love it. You relish in it, Frank. Give it a stink.

Now I'm literally not doing it. Oh, no, we're all upset now. Now you're upset. Now look at what you took from them. From the people. You're edging. They'll get over it. I'm not edging.

You are edging. Stop that. I don't like it. Here we go. It's already gone on long enough. It's that bad, huh? It's so bad I didn't gag. I'll do it again.

I think you like it. What's going on? Wait, I really don't. Third time. Third time's a charm, I think? That's bad. Third times a charm? All right, I'll third time it up.

Frank, you like it. I mean, I definitely don't. But that's the cut. Don't, don't. That's a. Oh my God. Touching this is so disgusting. Yo, what would you do if I had put a firecracker in there and it exploded this?

Hey, man. That'd be the last time you're on this. You two giggles. Why me? Yeah, you're giggily. That's true. Giggly puff over there. That's great.

I'm going to use that. Oh, my fucking God. I did two. You did two. No. Not how it works. He did two. Can I say something?

This is so sharp. It like, it is. It's like a sh- Cut through my fucking nasal. What do you think would work better? Smelling salt or that to wake you up? Smelling salt. Okay. All right. But also I would prefer that because this one's gonna make me like projectile vomit out of my sleep. They're designed to, oh it's actually coming. It'd be funnier if I didn't do it now, right? It would, but if you don't do it, you're in bigger trouble.

Wow, it looks way more like cheese than I thought. Just think of it as like it's barata in there. How much for you to take a sip? Joey said he'll pay you. No, I can't. I can't do that. I will literally pay you to not take a sip. Okay. No, I won't. Come on, just give it a whiff. Sure.

Give it a big one. Don't spill it. I'm not going to spill it. Whoa. Dude it's back. Dude, it smelled way more like ass than cheese. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it smells like a raw foot.

Whoa. It smells like if someone dragged their foot through human shit. Well, that was really surprising. One more. I can't. Hit it back. Hit it back. Hit it back.

No, no, no. Run it back. No, no. Don't. Look at him. He's going to explode. Thank you. Oh, God.

God, that's crazy. Wow, that was. I feel like your descriptions weren't as. No, to me, it was so sharp. Like, it hit me like a, whoa. It was sharp. It was so gross that I felt like I couldn't gag. Is that weird?

Yes. Okay. I think that it's nasty, dude. Like, now that I'm thinking about it, my stomach hurts. That was one of my fears when I was younger. Like, oh, you know what just happened to me recently? Oh, we were on a shoot recently. And I had, I had,

I had milk and there was ice in it. I know like milk gets really cold and there's like little shards of ice, but like the first time that I... Like you put it down your throat? Drink it? Yeah. The first time that ever had milk that had like an ice chunk in it, I thought it was chunky. And it just like came out of me. That didn't throw up, but like milk was coming out of my mouth.

I am more afraid of raw chicken than I am. raw milk. Like, I mean, raw milk, first of all, not getting into that. Like, spoiled milk. Spoiled milk, I feel like it's so easy to look at or be around spoiled milk and just go, oh, that's spoiled. I'm not going to drink this. But like, you can see like a piece

of seared chicken and then bite into it and then it's just raw worm in there. Yeah. That is, like, I saw once, it was a picture that was like, it's years old at this point from like E-Bomb's world. But it was like, someone took a bite of like

a chicken sandwich and it was just in the middle just a basically cockadoodle do chicken like that shit gets me to the point where like and then i took a food safety class when i worked for target and it just terrified me more yeah dude like that shit is fucking crazy i love that like every 10 years you get a picture of like someone goes to mcdonalds and instead of getting a burger, there's just like a chicken's head. And you're like, how did this happen? I remember that from like funnyjunk.com. Yeah, like those.

You're dropping crazy. It's just for us. It's just for us. It's just for us. It's just for us. Dating. Dating yourself a bit for sure. Yeah. I mean, listen.

Did you guys have funny junk? No shot. No shot. They had funny junk. Probably. Probably. I mean, but he was like, when we were looking at it, he was like five years old. So yeah. Like funny junk, the last time I went to that website,

see if it's still a website. Don't look that up. There's definitely offensive stuff on me. I wouldn't, I wouldn't show it on the screen. Yeah, do it on your phone. I'll do it on my phone. But, like, it was, like, the eBombs world before EBom's world. There was all those websites, and they had, like, offensive things on them.

I feel like you could have been, like, a... A curator? No, like, um... What's the word? Editor? Like, a, like, a... Like, a... Like, a...

Like, you know, like, if you had, like, a different, like, set of friends, like, I feel like you could... Because you were really into Ebalm's world. I'm really trying to... to wait until you finish before I get angry about this. Because this feels like a backhanded compliment. No, no, no. You would be perfect as like a 4chan moderator. Yes.

Fuck you. That sucks as a thing to say to me. But like, I think like, you know how you're like you like E-Bom's world. I like you love Spencer's. Like, you know what I mean? Joey, when I was 17 years old. I know. That's what I'm saying.

Even younger than that. I know. That's why I'm saying like it could have led to that path. But I'm glad it didn't. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. I'm saying there was a, there was a, is there money in that stuff?

Being a, being like a moderator on like a big Reddit thread or a 4chan thread or something like that. Eight Chan, I don't even know which ones there are. There's a bunch of chan. The only one I remember is because of the, the documentary they made about QAnon. Yeah.

And it was like a person from like Thailand or something like that. Yeah. I mean, I have no idea whether they make money or not. I'm just terrified. I feel like if, if we didn't go down this. route. Uh-huh. If you're saying that I would be like a, like a moderator or something like that, which I'm not more of like what I mean is like a troll in a way of like you would almost like a hacker in a way. Like you'd be like a troller. The only people that I like, like, there's only one there was all, I mean I love pranks. I do. I love them so much. I feel like I would have gone the route of like Jamie Kennedy like having a prank show. Okay. What I'm picturing is you know that like meme of the face that's like,

Like the sideways face. Yeah. And it just like pops up randomly. Like, I feel like you could have went down that road. Again, this feels like it's an insult. No, no, no. I'm saying like, you like pranks. I do like pranks.

You liked like eBom's world. You frequented chat rooms. Let's not forget that you almost. As a 13 year old looking for companionship, Joey. Bad place to look, buddy. That was fair. That's true. Don't sit here and point it at me like you didn't do the exact same thing.

Whoa, probably not as much as you. I did do it a couple times. I mean, who, who, how are we to measure the, you know, time spent in a chat room? I mean, it's just, we both did it. Yeah. You know? I remember I used to like, because you remember on AIM when you go to a chat room? Like, you'd make one for you and your boys.

Yeah. And it'd be like, chat room 18604, 3, 4, 9. I would just take all that away and I'd just put one and I'd go in there. It was bad. And you're like, yeah, this is the first chat room? Well, like, it was like a specific one. And then you'd go in there and it was just not healthy. Like, it was like, it was a petri.

dish of predators. Bro, it's so weird with the internet, like, oh, God. Yeah, not good. I feel like if I... Why do we do that when we were younger? If I... Because we were dumb.

And the internet was new. And no one was policing it as they are now. What's the reason why when these things pop up, people are like, I'm going to put my penis on it. You know, like, it's like, you get chat around it. And it's like, well, of course. Like, you know, it's made... I'm going to put my penis on it, though.

Like, why is that going through people's minds? Because they're sick freaks? It's insane, dude. They are sick freaks. Did you, when Chatarlet first dropped, did you, like, really get after it on there? No, I went on it a couple times, but, like, I was not showing my penis on there. Let's make that abundantly clear. I would hope not.

I was going on, like, at the time, we were, like, maybe, what, like, 18 or 19 when it came out? Yeah, maybe a little younger, maybe. Look up when Chat Roulette came out. But, like, we'd go on there and be like, you hope to see, like, a group of girls. And then, like... Yeah, that ain't happening. It didn't. It didn't.

That was, that, that was quickly ruined by the creeps and purves on the internet. It was released November 2009, but I don't know if it turned into what it was in a couple years, you know what I mean? I mean, it was definitely 2010, 2011, so. So, yeah, around that time. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's a tough year. You ever see the clip of someone like, it's like Kermit the Frog? And it's Kermit the Frog.

It's not really Kermit the Frog, but it's someone pretending to be Kermit the Frog with like a doll. And she's like, hey, how are you? And they're just like, oh, my God, Kermit. Hey, how are you? And he's like, yeah. Fuck, you think about this. And they hold up like a green cucumber. It looks like his dick.

They're like, oh, Kermit. He's like, yeah, no. What do you think? Oh, my car. Yeah. Yeah, no. Just ruining our childhood one, one thing at a time. We were probably victims of predators at some point.

For sure. I know I was. I mean, I know I was, too. I definitely know. I tell the infamous story about Tiffany Diamond. And mine was, hey, it's me, one, two, three, oh, three. Yeah, that one was. See, that one was a little different.

You know, there was a woman. with large breasts sending probably 14, 13-year-old me messages on MySpace and I'm like, she loves me. Yeah, I mean, Tiffany Diamond, that immediately should have rang a bell. 12, though.

Yeah, but like, you're not a complete at 12. I saw a giant boobs, and I was like, I think that she thinks I'm hot. I was 12. She asked for ASL and what did you say? I don't really remember. You didn't give 12. I didn't give any information

it's just my mom saw it. Yeah. She wasn't happy. No. Because she saw the news. Yeah. And then I was like, that doesn't happen. And then it was happening.

It was happening at the time. Had was going to happen. Yeah, dude. Like, it was a thing. She never got anything out of me. Don't worry. Yeah. Like, all these people, like, I never, like, sent anything of me.

You know, like, I never, like, told them my real name or, like, how to find me or anything like that, because that would have been a problem. What was the deal with the hate the eight? Like, was it a guy? I don't know what it was. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I had no idea at this point, like it could have been anything, anyone. And you've never heard this story, right?

I don't believe so. We would, for like on AOL instant messenger, better known as AIME. Did you have a screen name? I don't remember. Oh, bro. You're a liar. Wait, you don't have it. Yeah, that's crazy to me that there's people that have and had screen names.

No, I definitely did. I just, I literally, I just don't remember. He's a liar. That means it was like my cock is huge. My balls are bigger. Yeah, pounding Prisco at 1-2-09. Might have been 10. Yeah.

Might have been 10. What does that mean? When I was 10 years old, I was probably... When I was 10 years old, I probably had the biggest balls on the planet, dude. What? That's not where I was going to. I know I'm saying, like, that's what people said. Like, it was like, oh, oh, you know.

That's what I'm saying. What? Oh, aunt pre? Oh, see, this sucks, dude. Why not just give them your social? Be creative. Which is what, by the way? Ant pre?

Or was it cool war at the time? Cool war? Cool war. What's cool about war? And what's cool about war? And what wars have? been cooler than others. The cold war. Cold one. But that was a...

It was the coldest of ones. But what was cool war? The one right before that maybe? No, no, no. Before... You made the screen name. What is it about? Oh, because my full name on Xbox was cool war monger. Well, there's a war starting outside if you can't get a bill. We're rumbling. Yeah. You're cool war monger. Yeah. Who the fuck are you? Yeah, I don't know what you... That must have been one of those auto-generated ones that like Xbox would give you when you would first sign in. Like, hey, why don't you be like, tomato rocks 18? You know Tomato rocks

Pretty accurate I like that actually But it was I went into a chat room And those chat rooms were all like ASL ASL ASL ASL which stands for

Is that like a disease That's ALS It's ALS It's ALS He's on something He's not He's not far from it Oh man

But yeah everyone was going in to see if anyone had ALS Age location yeah so you say your age slash your sex slash where you at yeah so I'm in there I'm fucking 13 m n y you know what I mean 13 years old male from New York got it so but then like someone if they like saw you and wanted to talk with you they'd message you on the side

and I got a message from hey it's me 1 2303 and they were like trying to court me and like ask for me they like send pictures and like of your butt. I don't remember what they were specifically asking pictures for at this point. Maybe in other times I'm talking about this. I remember. But I do remember very specifically. They,

they asked me to like, hey, finger yourself. And my response to them was where? Where? You know? But let this be very clear, because this is not a Patreon episode,

which I just realized. Yeah. Yeah. internet predators are really serious and fucking dangerous thing yeah i mean yeah dude so like it can happen to anyone even when you think it's not happening so be very fucking alert stay off the internet it happened to your favorite podcaster dude yeah dude i i was oh man but it was so like it was that person like anytime they would sign on they would message me that's disgusting hey did you do it yet like i'm sure it was something sexual just following up got

it. Just making sure. It was circling back. It was gross. Circling around. Yeah. Disgusting. Disgusting. Yeah.

Really gross. And I was... We don't suggest anyone do any sort of thing. Yeah. I mean, especially like, I'm not going to start name and names, but there are like certain places now where predators are known to hang out and target people and like online. I'm going to start dropping names of places or games or something. But it's a very serious thing.

Like, I don't want to be making light as something. Like, it was. was funny that it happened to me because like it was like at the beginning of when this stuff started happening and as a kid i didn't know but like now we have the tools to know this shit yeah and protect our fucking loved ones against it so like very serious especially fucking people are sick fucks out there really are six fucks we started with spoiled milk and here we are yeah now we're it spoiled no i guess there's no way to make that work speaking of milk though did you see the rfk junior

and kid rock video oh my My God. I got to say, for Kid Rock, who has thrown out some anti-gay slurs before, that is quite a gay video. Dude, that's, we're not going to get into the politics of it all because that's not what this show is. I'm down to do that, too. I mean, full screen this bitch. Oh, sure.

The only thing I'm going to need you guys to do is just tell me when to pause. Yes, I'm not going to know. Of course. Full screen it. Yeah. So, hold on. Before we even start... Let me tee it up a little bit.

Let's just say one thing. What's with the jeans? RFK doesn't take the jeans on. We'll get into that as the video goes. As someone that has seen this. So for those of you guys that aren't from America and don't know, luckily, who these people are, RFK Jr., Robert Francis Kennedy Jr.

Is like the Secretary of Health or something like that. The guy's in great shape. I'm not going to take that away from him. But has said and done some questionable things and made suggestions about ways. of being healthy. Kid Rock. Not a shining example of

American male health. Let me just say that. I have never looked at Kid Rock and just gone, I wonder what his fucking workout reading is. But outside of- I bet his lungs are clear. Yeah, I mean, he looks like he survived on cocaine, cigarettes, and Jack Daniels

for the last 25 years. But they posted this as like a, like motivational, get up and get moving workout thing? I honestly don't even know what it's, what is it? Because it's like the whole milk part was just so weird. Can you just play it and we'll just like kind of, I don't want to play the whole thing through.

So you have RFK Jr. on the left, Kid Rock on the right. Just play it. Just play it. Okay. Let's start. We'll just start. It's a minute and a half long.

Secretary Kennedy and Kid Rocks. Rock out, workout. Pause it, please. Let's start with this. We're never getting through this. It's okay, baby. We got a show here. They got me with the image of the eagle, the bear, and the great white shark.

Really? I love those things, those animals, okay? Those are cool animals. You're too easy, dude. But calling it the rock out workout. I just don't get what the point of this is. Just play it. I got you.

I got you. And it's like, he's cheering. He's like cheering him on. Like, let's go work out. And he's taking his shirt off, which no one has ever asked him. to do. And then he's serving food? Okay. Throw it. Wait. Wait, hold on. Go back. Did he take his shirt off and have another shirt under it? What? No. I don't think so. Who are you talking about? Kid Rock.

No. It looks like he was wearing another. Yeah. Oh, it was like a sweater and a little shirt underneath. Yeah. Okay. Now he's just doing zero resistance workouts. Also, bad form. You're going to hurt your neck there, my friend. But yeah, it's like a workout video. Can we just like skip to the... Here we go. Now we're talking. Oh, and then also...

This is great. We have the assault bike in the sauna. And then also at a certain point, he jumps into the cold plunge fully in jeans. Yeah. Let's pause here. Oh. Oh, and then... Well, now we know it's the cold plunge because the ice came in on the screen.

Why isn't he... Why is he wearing jeans? I know you have not watched. arrested development, but there's a character on that show that's a never nude, and he wears gene cutoffs everywhere all the time and is afraid to be nude. And people are saying that RFK Jr. might be a never nude. I mean, it's very confusing that he's doing this. But then at one point during this video, they're in a hot tub together,

and then it says whole milk in like drippy white. I mean, you don't need to spoil it. We'll get there. We could skip to it. Go ahead. Well, first he jumps into the. pool with more jeans and then yeah yeah he's got out of the cold plunge yeah and now it's like whole milk and they drank whole milk with the drippy like what like what what is that whole thing about like what is it about i think like there are people that are saying that like we have moved

away from whole milk as a healthy drink not you i love home milk i'll love whole milk i'll tell you this this does more damage to my whole milk appreciation than anything else so maybe it's work This is like, you know what it is, there it is. Take another whiff. Oh my god, please stop, that milk. That was like the closest thing we'll get to like a hyper right wing heated rivalry. Like, guys. That's what that is.

Guys, just, just kiss. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Just kiss. No one's going to, like, we'll be like accepting, I promise. I mean, you might have said some things that maybe people will give you a little flack for a little bit. Like me? No, not you. Oh, Kid Rock.

Oh, Kid Rock. yeah he has frank but like guys if you want to kiss like well i'll accept you i think you will too and questionable i just feel like it's like a weird video i just don't know what it what it means like it's like let's we're gonna work out and then we're going to drink whole milk in a hot tub what well like what are we doing is that not the i i assume the idea of that is to get up and work out be more active is i'm gonna ask you a question you watch that does that that make you excited to work out? No.

I'm confused. What if I told you that it wasn't in this video because we don't want to get in trouble and owe money to Kid Rock, what if I told you that the whole thing was underscored by the song Ba Wittaba? Yeah, I did hear that. That doesn't, if anything, that just makes it more confusing for me.

And it's just like, it's so funny. The edit is so funny to me, because it's just like the typical, like America thing. It's like eagles, bears, the flag, whole milk. Like what? What are you attaching to? I am just as confused by that as I am

the several pairs of blue jeans that he works out. I think that was one pair of jeans that was wet, then in the sauna, and then back to wet again. To be fair, don't you kind of resonate with that a little bit? Fuck you. You are in there. Full jeans.

Do you see that point, by the way? I did. Yeah, you know you saw it. You're in full jeans in the sauna. I've never, I have never once worked out in jeans. However, I think now for experimenting, maybe we have to give it a shot. Maybe we need to go. Wearing wet jeans.

I mean, they were working out legs. Like, they were doing, they were doing some back and shoulders in there. You know, the blue jeans is. Sitting in a car at one point? Like, what is this video? The blue jeans of it all is the most confusing. Because this is the type of, like, propaganda that does work for a very select group of people in this country.

Blue jeans? Like, the whole, like, holding up a flag in front of a statue of Lady Liberty in your home. Was that who that was? That was the Statue of Liberty. Oh, was it? Yeah. My God. Like, and then working out in blue, like, like, work out in my,

Blue jeans. Like, that does work for people. I don't know if I've ever had wet jeans on. Ooh, that's a good... I know I have because, like, I have put on, like, not jeans, I guess. They're kind of, like, work pants over, like, sweatpants to go in the snow.

Okay. So, like, those get wet. Why not wear snow pants? Oh, because I don't own any. You don't have snow pants? No. Why? Because I don't.

Snow's every year, though. Yeah, not enough to justify wearing pants one day a year. Just one pair of pants? I don't care enough for snow pants. Like, it makes sense because you go skiing and snowboarding. Yeah.

That makes sense to have snow pants. It makes zero sense for me to have snow pants. I wouldn't say zero. Zero. Okay. Never had a full drink spilled in your lap wearing jeans? I've had.

It goes right through. I have, I think, yeah. I have been like... Why have a wet penis? All the way through. I have been caught in like the rain in jeans and like the thighs get very wet. That's like the most uncomfortable feeling. Like I've got caught in the rain in jeans and I'm like, yeah, it's so uncomfortable.

I can't imagine being completely wet. What are you talking about? That was like a very specific. Like I had a pinacolada just poured right through your jeans or something. Just a cocktail or a beer just went and just went right through. Do you have any? Like they landed on top but you felt it in the back. You know what I mean?

Someone spilled a drink on your penis and you felt it in your ass? Actually, I can relate to that. Like it feels like you're like six. sitting in it. Yeah, yeah. It went right through the whole thing. Yeah, I think I've had that experience as well. Well, you gotta buy better jeans then. That's such a... I mean, no, no, he's right. Genes are... Denim is very porous and absorbent. So I feel your pain. I have felt it. I'm currently feeling it thinking back on it. I appreciate you feeling it.

Whoa. See what he did. I mean, I feel like you set him up for that to be fair. I... Is there a reality where we film a rebuttal? one. You and I film a like rock out, workout, basement yard edition. And it's us at the gym. You could be in jeans. I could be Kid Rock.

You want to be Kid Rock? I don't want to be. But if someone has to be, I'll take that bullet. I'll take that bullet. And then when we jump into the hot tub, what are we drinking? Whole milk brother. What do you think? We're just going to remake it. I think we should do

our version of it. Right. So that's what we wouldn't drink. Oh, you guys would do like chocolate milk. Why would we do that? I don't know because it's the opposite of them trying to be healthy milk, right? Isn't this the thing? I don't know. I don't even know what you're saying but I'm how confusing it is. I mean it's a very confusing like a fruit punch or something.

Damn, I haven't had fruit punch in a long time. I do have a thing of Kool-Aid at my house. Yo, well is it? What? You have Kool-Aid? Yeah. Oh shit. You want it? No? No. All right. I mean, it makes sense you have children. What am I going to do with it?

I mean, we haven't opened it yet. What was the last time you had a Hawaiian punch? Oh, too long, brother. Which I've never been to Hawaii. Something tells me that's not Hawaiian. Like, punch. Like, real Hawaiian punch is probably not that color. I don't think that's...

Like, Dr. Pepper should only be working on. peppers? Like No, but like Dr. Pepper has, it's like it's spicy because it's cinnamon in there. But like Hawaiian Punch is just in the name. Like I'm sure if you went to Hawaii and you were like, where's the Hawaiian punch? They hit you. Yeah, I'm not going to do that.

Because I think we're all under the assumption that it's just not, it's not actually like Hawaiian-based. Yeah, I know. It's been a while. I will tell you this. Here you go. Rank these. And it could be any flavor you want, whatever the best flavor is of these three drinks. Coolade. Yeah.

Hawaiian Punch. Capri-sun. High C. Go. What was it again? Oh, Kool-Aid's number one. Cool.

Coolid's number one? Yeah. And what's your like flavor? The coolers, the coolers. Oh, the one. Yeah. The one that came in the plastic bottle. Yeah, and it looks like a lobster.

It looks like a spaceship. Or that too. It does. Hawaiian Punch is not made in Hawaii. No shit, Sherlock. All right. I mean, you're the one. Just, I'll put Kool-Aid first.

Probably Capri-Sons second. Capri-Sum is up there. I don't like when they try to put Kool-Aid in the pouches. Like the pouch game was a Capri-Sun game. Yeah, that's it. Respect that they established that. Then, High-C. Okay.

Hawaiian Punch. What was the other one? Was that the last one? Hawaiian Punch, Kool-Aid, High-C, and Capri-Sun. Yeah, yeah. I put Hawaiian Punch last. Really? It's good.

But, like, it also, like, it also, like, I don't know if this is true or not, but I feel like it can't get cold. Wow, that's an astute observation. Like, I don't, I've never had that and be like, oh, this is cold. I don't think I've ever had cold versions of any of those. Can you look that up, actually? Because I wonder if that's an actual thing, because I've, like, tested that before and be like, I don't know if I can get this cold.

Because I'll put it in my fridge. Because it comes in a fucking 30-gallon jug. It does. And you have to keep it in the fridge for four weeks for it to get even remotely cold. You want me to look up if the liquid drink Hawaiian Punch can get cold? Yes. Okay. I'm just making sure

Do your fucking job I have a theory that it can't The question I would write here Is can Hawaiian Punch get cold? Yeah Okay I think it's a great question

And I don't like the judgment He's using I'm just clarifying I will tell you this I It is a top search Sorry to introduce Right

Is it? But yes Hawaiian Punch gets cold When refrigerated Or placed over ice I don't believe You don't drink any That shit with ice

But if other people are asking that, there's something. There is. You drink it out of either a cardboard box or a reflective plastic pouch. Wait a minute. It does say the high sugar content acts as an anti-freeze, meaning it requires lower temperatures than water to reach freezing states. So technically, I fucking knew it. The threshold of being cold is lower.

Bro, I'm pretty sure that if you put Hawaiian Punch in the freezer, it wouldn't freeze like vodka. Well, I think if your freezer is set to 32, it might not. But if your freezer is set to like minus 2, like most are, then yeah, it'll probably freeze. I don't know, dude. I'd give you like 40%. I'll say this. Theory, it's a theory.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's such a fucking great point to also piggyback off that. I've never had a warm yuhoo. Every Uhoo I have had. Ooh, I've had it. Really? I mean, they're on the floor. That was a stupid way of saying what I wanted to say.

That was a very stupid way of saying that. I meant like, hold on, how are you drinking? You're you? That's very dumb. I missed all the context. At my mom's house,

she would buy drinks like that that come in like cases or whatever, and she would have them on the floor near the back door, and I would just drink them like that. They're on the floor. As if that was like, oh, okay. My point is like, They're not stored cold.

But like cans. I remember our friend always had canned. Oh, the cans are freezing. That was basically like beer for an eight year old. Yeah. Because like you'd crack it and like, real quick. We have sponsors, but not,

Uh, uh, Uh, Uh, you who, not one of them, but we are going to bring that right back up. Um, we have Squarespace. Okay.

Squarespace is a platform where you're going to build your website with it. Okay, they have a bunch of templates that are going to help you out and build your website. If you make content or you have an e-commerce business or any sort of retail business or anything online, you're going to need a professional-looking website. It is your first impression. If people come to your website and it doesn't look too good, they don't trust you as much.

They're way less likely to check out and buy your product. So put the effort into your website, and Squarespace is going to make it very easy. They have a bunch of tools that are also going to optimize all your traffic. Every single landing page that we create is with Squarespace. they are the best one. So if I were to create one today, I'm going to write to Squarespace. And you should too.

And when you're going to do that, you should go to Squarespace.com slash basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain using the code basement. Okay, so go to Squarespace.com slash basement and save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement. Okay.

And then we also have Zoc Doc. All right. Zoc doc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality M network doctors so you can find someone you love. I recently used Zoc Doc because I thought I found something on my body that I didn't like, so I had to go to a dermatologist, and I needed to find one that day. And I booked an appointment.

I went on Zoc Doc. I put in my insurance, and then I found one in my neighborhood close to me, and they had availability that afternoon. So I went straight there. I'm fine, went to the dermatologist. we kind of talk about this. He saw something. But I'm all good, but just letting you know, that's how Zoc Doc works. So I've been using them for a while now, and now they're a response on the show.

It's great. So I can tell you from experience I am using it. So go check them out. Stop putting off your doctor's appointments. Go to Zock.com slash basement to find an instantly book a doctor you love today. And I also forgot to mention that they are patient reviewed. So if you have a good experience, you review them. I think it started out of five.

so I was like, let me find someone who was at least like a 4.8, 4.9 here. And I went to him and it was great. So go to Zocdoc.com slash basement today to, yeah, so thank you for Zock. Dot for sponsoring the show. Beautiful. Also, you know what's a beautiful sponsor of the show? Us. We sponsor our own show.

So we're going to name the sponsor right now. I'm sorry. I got caught off guard. Patreon.com slash a basement now. Let's start again, bitch. Me and you, bitch. Go to patreon. com.

Sorry, Ann. Go to patreon. dot com slash the basement yard and take a look take a gander we got a lot going on there what's a lot by i mean there's different tiers baby that first year you get these weekly episodes one week in advance oh it's like a beautiful massage on your back that's that you wanted for and asked for it's consensual and also that second tier well then you get exclusive episodes every single friday where you get more of us so you can get more of the basement yard so go check it out patreon dot com slash the basement yard thank you guys to getting us over 40 000 paid patrons as a result uh we're

We're scheduling doing some cool episodes, some cool stuff for you guys. So keep an eye out. And if you're joining Patreon and you've never been a patron before, or you dipped out for a couple months, save money, whatever, I understand. We understand Joe doesn't. He hates it. Any backlog episodes you can watch. Hundreds of hours of episodes right there, available at your fingertips and join you for whatever you want to do,

whether it be taking long drives, going to the gym, hanging out, whatever. So patreon. dot com slash the base of vineyard and if you want to try to save yourself a couple extra bucks while you're doing it do it on a web browser okay if you use the app you're going to have to pay our tech overlords a little extra money so they upcharge you so if you go to a web browser and you go to patreon dot com slash the base of a vineyard you sign up there you'll save yourself some money and you'll get more of us we love you we thank you we appreciate you and that's it that's all i got check it out so what were we saying i was talking about yoohoo and how much i've drank uh of

I, in high school, I would get it every single morning. I mean, I, I, I, four years of U-Hu. You know what kind of damage I've done to my body? From like 8th until 10th grade every morning, my breakfast was a can of Coca-Cola and a BLT. Like, we were not. Wait, you have Coca-Cola for breakfast?

Yeah. Ooh, who. What has more sugar? A can of U-HU-HU-HU or a can of Coca-Cola. Couldn't tell you. Probably Coca-Cola. I would say Coca-Cola, but it might not, The margin might be slimmer than you would think.

I feel like they're both bad. They're both like equally like not great. Coca-Cola is like 35 milligrams where U-hoo might be in like low 20s, low to mid-20s. No, I think. I know like a can of Coca-Cola is like 39 grams of sugar. Holy moly. You-hoo is 33.

Holy moly again. So who's fucking who's fucking who? Yeah. You know? Did you know that U-Hoo has no. milk in it? Yeah. Yeah, they can't call it chocolate milk. It's like chocolatey drink. Chocolate drink, yeah. It's weird. That trip me out. I'm okay with it. I mean, it's me. I'm not, I'm not looking to have it to like supplement my milk intake. You know what I, you know what I did

once I put a, it was a glass bottle of Youhoo too, and I would put it in a bowl and then I put cereal in it. Oh, yeah, duh. Yeah. Like I think of like cocoa pebbles or cocoa pops or something. Yeah. I was not a big chocolatey cereal kid, but I could see why that would... But you could also just do regular milk? Bro, what I would do to a cocoa pebble right now? A fruity pebble? Bro, you get a fruity pebble in front of me?

I'll tell you some. I mean, I'm down for some fruity pebbles. Ant, can you make it happen? A multiple cereal taste test episode? DoorDash right now. Don't do this. A half gallon of whole milk. Oh, God.

We can't get more milk. And a bowl and some fruity pebbles so we can have some fucking fruity pebbles in here. I want to put my tongue through an apple jack. Oh, I don't. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? I'm not going to touch that one.

You know it, though. You want to do it too. Not through an apple jack. Yeah. I love, call me a sadist. Is that the one that loves pain? Massacist. That's it.

I think sadists like evil or something like that. But like, I used to love putting a crunchberry between my tongue and the roof of my mouth and crushing it. And then it would just shred the top of my mouth like a chunk of my mouth like a chunk. She's greater. I know you're going to make fun of me, but let me get it out first. The honeycomb. I know you would suck through it all the time. What did I just say?

What did I just say? Hello, call my therapist. I fucking knew it. I like sucking it and making it crush. And making it flat, real flat. Like those videos of, like, people putting things into, like, vacuums. And then they, like, cut all the oxygen out. And then it just,

I have no idea what you just described. You never seen those. You never seen those. What is he talking about? I thought you were talking about the hydraulic. machine that crushes stuff. What do you think is by serving size the most unhealthy, like, sugary cereal? I imagine it's got to be fruity. No, fruit loops. I, unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it's Frosted Flakes. Get the fuck as. No way. No way. Dude, no. I've convinced myself. No! For worse, or better, that Frosted Flakes is like healthy adjacent.

Dude, it's so good. It's flakes. It's corn flakes. It's corn flakes, but it's like... It ain't fucking... But it ain't the other ones, dude. It's got to be fruit loops. Cinnamon toast crunch has to be worse than frosted flakes.

Because you're getting a thing of fruit loops that is just every color that is not natural. I saw this thing that one of the cheesecakes, it's their most like colorically dense cheesecake from the cheesecake factory up against other stuff. It's like a Reese's pieces cheesecake or whatever. It's 1,500 calories for a slice. What? That's bad. But it's cheesecake. I'm going to eat it. Yeah, I mean, it's

probably delicious. I imagine that it's got to be fruit loops at the top. It's so tough because I think like fruity pebbles, but yeah, why do you look this up? This is very easy. No, I am. I'm trying here. Just pull up like the nutrition facts on like the heavy hitters.

We got cereal crunch time. Honey crunch with nuts. Does anybody know that? Cole's Honey Crunch with nuts? If you think I am going into a grocery store and I'm picking out honey crunches with nuts, I hope you take a gun and shoot me in the face. Well, it's saying that by weight, that's 42% sugar.

What the bag? Yeah, and Frosted Flakes is 41% sugar. No! Like the bag. I mean, he's saying by weight, though, a corn flake is like papyrus. So of course it's going to be heavier

because of the amount of sugar that's caked. I tell you what, my favorite bowl of frosted flakes is when you get to the end and they just dump a bunch of that fucking dust in there. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm not looking for by weight what the amount of sugar is. I'm looking... How is hard? How are you not just looking at frosted

flag sugar content? I'm trying to get a bunch of cereals at one guy. Let's just get the one. How much sugar is in... Is there more sugar in a Coca-Cola or a To his defense, he needs to find, like, of comparable serving sizes. So, like, if a serving size for this one is a third of a cup, and that one, it's a half a cup, like... They're all, it's cereal.

It should be the same. No, different. You can quantify what a serving size is, like, yourself. It doesn't need to be... Okay, so I got a bunch of cereals serving sizes of 30 grams and their sugar content. This guy's going by grams. Where the fucking... I believe it's a bowl.

I believe it's a bowl. We're in a good old. You didn't see that RFK Kid Rock video. We want it in Fahrenheit. From what it looks like here, Frosted mini weeks, mini weeks and Captain Crunch are the highest. Yeah.

At 15.7 grams of sugar. Whoa, frosted mini wheat. I again convinced myself that those are healthy too. Me too. I like when I get a double. Oh. Or when you get one that is just covered. Just the house is painted with this shit.

Yeah, blizzard on this fucking bitch. I'm talking like four coats of paint on this bastard. Oh my God, I love that. And then you get one that's like nothing on it. Yeah, you're like, who this idiot. Why do I feel like I'm from Kansas or Kentucky? I'm eating hay, what am I, a horse. Yeah, get this the fuck out of here, Dorothy.

Wait, that one has a lot of sugar in it? Yep. Captain Crunch and Frost and Mini Wheats, very high. Top two. Wow. They're tied. Captain Crunch, I get. I mean, there's nothing real about that.

No, I would get it if it was Ups'All berries, which is the superior version. Frank, those are all dyed anyway. I know, but I'm saying, like, Captain Crunch, like Captain Crunch without Crunchberries is just those little yellow puff. Yeah, but those are dyed. Right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's not like a piece of corn. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. What else we got? What the hell is the frosted flakes before I cut my own head off at the neck? I am a little disappointed with frosted flakes. I really thought Tony the Tiger was saying they're great in terms of how they were for you. Frosted flakes is 10.3 grams of sugar per. Oh, that's my God.

But what's the serving size? 30 grams. Which is what, a third of a cup? So it's a third of the serving size of sugar. is essentially what it's saying. And if a serving side, you're putting, like, close to a cup and a half in this fucking bowl, baby. Do you? No, I'm not.

You're going to? Frank, whatever the biggest bowl in my house is is getting filled to the brim and then refilled. I love how we have somehow, and by we, I mean me, but you're in this with me now, baby, convinced ourselves that sugary cereal is still in a way healthy. Oh, yeah, Frank. That ship has sailed. I know. I know.

So Frosted Flakes is 10.3. grams of sugar per but fruity pebbles is 10 whoa hold on hold on but fruity pebbles is basically i mean no no we're now i'm on a diet now i'm on a diet pretty pebbles i'm on a diet yeah if anything fruity pebbles is better for you than frosted flakes the thing with though is actually it's probably not just because they're so small i can get rid of the half a bag like that yeah but it's going by serving size it all it all equates. Like, they're saying a serving size,

a serving size of frosted flakes might be 100 frosted flakes, where a serving size of fruity pebbles might be 500 because of the size. Sure, sure, sure. But I definitely think I could eat the bag of fruity pebbles in two sittings, and the frost of flakes might take me three. I love fruity pebbles for the first minute and a half that I had that bowl there. After that, it becomes... You guys are crazy.

I like a little soggy cereal. No, I'm sorry. It basically becomes like toilet water. Like I'm, it like soaps up and becomes like a... Frank. If that's what toilet water tastes like, give me a swirling. Yeah, okay. Flush it and let it drain in.

You want to, but you want to head in there, right? That's crazy. Cinnamon toast crunch, 9.7. Literally a diet. Literally a lot of diet. That's crazy because they've also mastered what breakfast cereal is. We've said, we've done this before and we'll say it again. Best cereal.

That's the best cereal. That's S tier for you. Yeah, it is. Maybe sometimes you get a shrimp tail in there. Did that happen? Yeah, that was them. You don't remember that? Well, was the guy having lunch? No, the guy, like, poured out a bowl and he got, like, a cinnamon frosted shrimp tail, which I'm going to go out on a limb.

I would think it was like a sweepstakes. I'd be like, oh, lucky me. Oh, shit. Yeah, but we come from the days of, like, you open up a fucking cereal box and there's, like, a PlayStation 1 demo disc in there. Does that not happen anything? Now they do like Cracker Jack prizes where it's like tear this paper off and it's a fucking model tax book or some shit. I hated when fucking cereals like they don't have toys in them and they're like, oh, just, you know, mail it in for a rebate. I'm like, bro, I still to this day, I have no idea what a rebate is.

And I'll tell you, I'll never. I'm not participating. I'll never figure it out because I need to stand in solidarity with you. Oh, we need to mail this in and then we'll send it. It's not happening. Yeah, you get a $200 mail in rebate. I'm not doing work. You want me to get up and do work after I just gave you all my money?

I'm not paying for this for you to mail me money back. What do we do? And like, so what? So in a month and a half, I get a check for a hundred bucks? Fuck you, Kellogg's. Yeah, I'm not doing that. I mean, what are you so pensively looking up now? Just making sure if you asked for more cereals that I had any and I have none.

I mean, what are, what is another? We need to know, give me, give me honeycombs. Because, or corn pops. I'm a little, when corn pops used to come in the bag that looks like it was sent to space. Oh, they got rid of that?

Yeah. The area 51 bag? Yes, now it's in a regular ass fucking bag. Oh my God, such nuts. Such nuts. Yeah. I don't know what,

how many grams are going off of, but it says 15 grams per serving. That's not. Higher than I thought. That's not that low. I was expecting it to be low. Pops are kind of ass. Come on now.

You like them? I kind of like. Oh, Apple Jacks. Yeah, Apple Jacks are great. Apple Jacks. Corn Pops are like... I like corn pops. I like Kicks.

Berry, Barry Kicks. Now we're talking. But that's another one. You're getting crazy. This is dessert now. I know. Very, Barry, Barry Kicks. Like, that was another one that was just like a healthier alternative.

Like, if you were in elementary school and, like, someone found out you had kicks, be like, all right, you all you, you, what are you? You know? Yeah. think you're fucking model of health. Yeah. Do you know any grown adults that like non-honey Cheerios? Uh, no.

I'm gonna go one step further. Cheerios kind of suck. Honey Nut Cheerios are fantastic. Yeah, honey nuts. They can suck my nuts. You don't like Honey Nut Cheerios for real? Nah, they can suck my nuts. Uh, frosted Cheerios.

Ooh. Oh, well, hey, time to grow up, though. Okay, you graduated. You're the one that just said you'd eat a box of fruity pebbles and two bowls. Who needs to grow up? I said I would eat it in one sitting like a grown-up.

And I also haven't done that in two years. That's recent, brother. But two years ago. That's real recent. Two years ago, I want to like a little cereal kick because I was like, I'll just eat everything out.

Because I hadn't eaten cereal in years. It's okay. It's okay to treat yourself a little bit. I'm just saying I fell into a hole and it was a deep, deep, derribee. Yep, yep, yep. And it was a deep dark rabbit hole. I was just buying cereal and then I was just crushing.

God, let's get cereal in here. See, this is why it's good that like... We talk this stuff out. Well, just, just be, let's get cereal in here. It's so stupid. No, but it's good that like, you know, if I lived alone, oh my God, dude. Yeah, it's good that you...

I would eat like an idiot. Well, I did live alone and I did eat like an idiot. Ooh, do you remember the big fucking boxes where it was like three of them? Oh, well, you'd get them from like Costco. Yeah, dude. You'd go to Costco and it would be a fucking like time machine box and it would have three bags in there, which you could never get back in once you open the bag. No, no, no. Once you once it's open and you open the box, it's done.

And it would be like, but see, this is how they'd get you. They'd put a shitty one in there. It'd be like apple jacks, fruit loops and then fucking honey smacks or something stupid. Or like Rice Krispies, which are good. I love Rice Krispies. You got to add sugar. I love hearing that shit fucking talk to you and like Spanish and shit like that. That's what I imagine.

Like people that watched the Turning Point USA Hattime show thought that the like Bad Bunny halftime show sounded like. Like snap crackle pop? Just like a bowl like those people are like I'm not listening to this and to them it just sounds like you interpreting the sound that

Rice Krispy makes as Hispanic or Spanish? I'm saying I imagine that's what they thought it sounded like because they're the idiots. Not me. I'm not. Yeah. And what's your favorite series?

If you, all right, because we've talked about it. Give us your top three. Frosted Flakes. Yeah. Number one? I think so. I respect it. It's changeable.

You don't need it order. I respect it. Cinnamon toast crunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then respectful. Coco Pebbles, yes. Ooh, you're not a puff guy? No.

I'll tell you this. I don't know what it is because I'm 99% sure it's not actual fruit flavors. Tricks is amazing. I used to fuck with tricks when they were shapes. They're back to show. shapes, brother. They've come all the way back to shapes because they were balls for a while. Yeah, when it was all balls, I'm like, this is too much balls. They put a lot of balls in there. And now they're back to shapes. I like shapes. I also love my lucky charms. I know grow up. I know,

I know I need to. No, they're overrated, but I would never go as far as they're not very good. You know what sucks? Actually, I don't know if they suck. Golden grams. Dude, if you like, Good and bad. Honey smacks or golden grams. Just do all of us in favor. Yeah, we ate a lot of honey smacks growing up, but they taste like an old brown house. Yep.

Like, you would need to, like, read, like, a first edition of, like, The Hobbit when you had that. When I'm eating honey smacks, I'm thinking of the original Wizard of Oz and, like, that bitch in the beginning that's like, a little dog. Like, I'm thinking of her. Yeah, the neighbor, whatever that idiot's name was.

Wasn't she the witch? She ended up being the witch. It was played by Margaret Hamilton. Correct. I would imagine that, like, the people that ate honey smacks also, like, regularly had, like, framed burlap sacks on their wall and ran an antique shop. And, like, played with tops. Pogs. What's that?

You remember Pogs? They were right before. Pogs? It was, like, 1993, 1994. They were, like, little cardboard circles with, like, characters on them. like it was like the slammer and it was like a card game before a card game. Oh, I thought you, I thought you were saying Pog, like a... Never mind.

You got it. You know what I'm talking about. You know what's a Pog? You know what I'm talking about, Pog? I'm going to say no. You know. I know. What's a Pog? It's a porn term.

Okay. You've lost me. Well, it's spelled P-A-W-G, so I'll let you, like, come up with something. Is it an acronym for something? Yep. Can't wait. Just so we're clear, this is Frank figuring out for the first time. What a pog is.

So it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's used as, like, it's an acronym. An acronym, but like, it's used to describe someone or something. Uh, both. So, like, without a hint, it's gonna be tough. Pretty ass wipe gentleman. Okay, you're like close, but. Gentleman. It's crazy.

Pretty ass. Widow guy. Guy. What the hell? What was that? A bog. Gee, the guy, the G's a guy. Guy. It's not Widow guy.

Okay. Go back to the last one you did. Pretty ass. With. No, Frank. Think racism. It's porn titles here. Oh, I don't want to do that.

Well, think of race. Think of race. Pretty ass white. Now we're getting somewhere. Gay. No, no, no, no. Pretty ass white. There's one other G word.

I think there's just... There's two. There's two other... Okay. But there's... This is a... Don't overthink it. It's like, you know,

this is a thing that's happening between a this and none of that. A pretty ass white girl? Yeah, but it's not pretty. Think 90s. Think 90s. Posh? Posh.

You think it's spice girls? No, no. Think 90s and like, cool. Like, oh, that's cool. That's... That's... No. With a pee.

pee, but it doesn't sound like a pee. It doesn't sound like a P. No, it sounds like a different one. If you add... Oh, is it fat? Oh, that's... Bad-ass white girl. That's mean? No, it's about her. No, it's about the butt. It's about the butt. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's not like a fat-ass. No, it's like a fat-ass white girl. Oh, oh, that's a porn term. So when you said Pogs, I was like, what? No, this is P-O-G. Yeah, different. P-O-G. Yeah. Um, um, I don't know. Um, I don't, um, I don't, I don't. Um, I would say P-H-A-T fat, it was like an early to mid-2000 thing. Was it? Fat farm.

Oh, right, right, right, right. Yeah, my ears were off. Yeah, because of fat farm. I remember, I remember in, uh, meet the fuckers where he goes into, or maybe the second one or whatever the fuck. Or maybe that was, yeah, it was the parents was the first one, meet the fuckers was the second, little fuckers was the third. It was the second one.

And then he goes into like the kid's bedroom. And he's like, oh, little Kim, she's fat. P-H-A-T. I always remember that. That's funny. Oh, we have more sponsors. Oh, yeah. A horrible spot.

Not for long. We keep talking about pogs. It's all right. They'll cancel them. We have skims. Skims makes underwear for you guys, for guys and gals. They're very comfortable and they're very breathable.

They're not too tight on you, but they make really high-quality stuff. So you can definitely go check them out. They sent us some stuff from their collection. And, yeah, they have, like, a workout underwear now, which is good. So they have, like, a stretch boxer brief. But it's good stuff. So you can shop the best underwear for men and women at skims.com.

Let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey, and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. But, you know, they got a lot of stuff there. And also, it's for women, obviously. So they have underwear and stuff for men and women. but yeah for you fellows out there if you need some more you know boxers in your life they have a stretch five inch boxer brief that is key all right so go shop men and women at skims.com and let them know that we sent you

and then the last thing we have here is hymns okay hymns they offer convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments and yeah they're doctor trusted doctor trusted ingredients like finestriotum and oxydil, which can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. So if you're thinning or you want to, you know, just be proactive about that, then this is for you. And there's no hidden fees, no surprise cost, just real personalized care on your schedule. For simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss,

ED, weight loss, and more, visit hymns.com slash basement. Hymns.com slash basement for your free online visit. Hymns.com slash basement. Feature products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information, and individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monocidal and anestheroid.

All right. So, what the hell were you talking about? You were talking about you were explaining pogs? Yeah. Can you look up the 90s Just to show him you might know if you might recognize it Like a like a like a it's a It was like a little like cardboard circle and like it was like a game and like it came with like the power rangers on it

Jurassic Park Oh the game do the game did you say you had another one of these games? Oh you want a you want a riddle? Yeah yeah yeah Fuck I hate these goddamn riddles Okay so all you have to do is tell me how many horses are in the stable What's stable Whichever stable is in your mind

How many horses are there? Okay? Ready? Three. What? It didn't happen yet. Oh. Here we go. How many horses are there? I count it's six. One, two, three, four, five. Are these multiple? Are you multiple? So nine, maybe, actually?

I'm gonna say two. I said nine. They were five. Come on now. Five. There were five. All right. Okay. I'm gonna fucking walk because you know I hate these and you guys, this is what happens. I'm not in this one. You guys get them first and then I have to sit here like an idiot. How about now?

Three. Three. There were three. I got it. You got it? I got it. I said three, too, just because he said it. Now?

You go first. Six. I said three. One. It was one. I'm going to get very angry, but I'm trying to... Oh, shh. Son of a bitch.

Shut up. Can you get it this time? Six. Five? There were six. I got it, man. How? How?

I have it. I got it. Hit me in again. It's not slow. Very slow. Please. One, two, three. One, two. Last try. Two three, one, two. Five. Two. There were two. Oh my god. I'm so got it. I'm so got it. I got it.

It's just, you put, hang up that fucking phone. You want to try again? Do you, what do you think is going on? It's gotta be something that you're doing with your hands. It has to be. Has to be something I'm doing my hands. Alright, so put your hands down and do it. Well, I can't because...

So it is his hands. So it is his hands. Go again. Okay. Go ahead. That was... How many horses are there now? Seven.

There were six. Six. I swear to God I'm gonna flip this fucking table over. Well, how'd you get to seven? Yeah, what was seven? I'm watching his hands and then he went like this. So I thought it was like an upside down seven. So do it and keep your hands here.

All right, all right. Okay. Stop. Fuck. I lost it. You blinked? Start again. Start again.

That matters. What about? Ten. Now. Ten? Ten. I want to say three. It's three.

Oh, come on, guys. I figured it out. Oh, I like being in on inside jokes when I'm inside them. I bet you do. I don't know how much more I can help you. One more? All right. Make it as obvious as you can.

One, two, three. Now? Three. Three minus two plus one. So two? How many, Joe? It's like, it's like... It was one.

It was one. Wait. Didn't I say two? You did one, two, three. So it's that. Yeah. Minus that. So three minus two plus one.

So two. Okay. All right. Maybe you're getting close? You're not. Here we go. One. Two, three, four.

No, it doesn't matter. Ready? How many horses are in the stable now? Is there multiplication involved? So three plus three times two. Twelve? Eight. Can I do it?

Sure, do it to him. Frank, do it to him. I'm going to get you to get this, right? And I'll answer. I'll answer. So now I'm with you. You need a split fucking second to take a sip. Yeah.

What is that? What are you drinking, by the way? It's tea. That's tea? It looks like dehydrated urine. Yeah, maybe it is. Looks like something from Jurassic Park that would attract me. It's sparkling tea.

Ready? How many horses? Six. I think there's three. No, right, okay. How do I? Well, there were three. Yes, yes.

Okay. How do I? Good luck. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Hold on. Hold on.

No, no, no. I'm doing you a favor. Hold on. Now? Three. No. I think there was one? You know there's one.

I know there's one. Frank, why am I doing this? I, it's not, so it's the cycling of these. So it starts with snaps and then it goes to a different cycle. And then it goes to a different cycle. So that's three different cycles. No, no, no. Think about, think about the other times that we played the game, right?

Yo, I'm gonna fucking come over there and pour that milk down your fucking bro. You said he was stupid? I said you're stupid. I'm gonna pour that milk. down your fucking throat. All right, Joe, maybe you just gotta go real slow. Try it again.

Okay, ready? How many horses? Three? Yes. Okay. Try it again. Now? Three.

No, I thought you had it. There's one. Why was there one? Why was there three before? I guessed. I thought you were on it. I get, I fucking hate these little bar tricks. You go to fucking bars too much,

you fuck. And you, fuck you. Fuck. You too. I don't. You know what? You earn a bitch here.

Write that down. You too, bitch. Can you just tell me? Yeah, I guess just reveal it now. All right, wait, wait. Let me do it. Okay. And then you tell me.

How many horses there are? How many horses I... Are in the stable. Okay. Sure. How many? Two. Two.

I thought, I was thinking like five. But I don't know how I could be. Clearly that's not how they came up. I don't know how I can be. I don't know how it. Why would we both? say two. Yeah, we both said two. Had we come up with that same time? Think about everything. Yeah. I'm gonna do it again.

All right, but then count down from three and we'll say it at the same time. Okay, yeah. Three, two, one. Zero? Yeah, zero, I guess. Okay. All right. Now we have to tell them. It's just the amount of words you say after. When you ask the question. Yo, I fucking hate. That's why when you were like... So do it again. Do it. Do it again, do it again, do it again. Do it again.

How many horses? Three. Yeah. You had to count that? God. Good job. That's what he was like, how many horses are in the stable? My hands are underneath.

I'm like, how many of my head is. I hate that so much. Yeah. I just don't, I, because you know why? Because I fixate on one thing there. Yeah. And I think like there's something in that thing, like the hand things that I'm not getting. I always think that when he brings up one of those, that it's like,

it can't be the obvious. one. So I'm trying to think of everything else. I'm glad you think that because I don't. So that's why you get it and I do not. I fail. It was fun from this side of the club for sure. Yeah, you pointing at me and saying that I'm stupid. I'm not kidding. Take another whiff of that milk right now. I feel like pledge. Do it. I feel like that. Do you think that's like a very offensive thing someone said like could say to you. That you're stupid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like obviously he didn't. He obviously didn't say it in a serious man. No, no, no. Yeah, I'm not. I don't think you're stupid. Well, in that moment, maybe. I'm kidding. I would say that, like, it's so tough because, like, if some random listener said, like, this guy's an actual fucking idiot, I wouldn't care. But, like, if someone knows the real person that I am, says, like, you're stupid. You're just stupid.

Or, like, you're not smart. That I would, you know me, I would go into a fucking. Well, that's what I mean. feel like that that's like would that would offend you more than like other offensive things for some reason yes yeah because i think like that is a level of like like you need to really not know me to think that i'm flat out stupid you know what i mean like he's defending why he's not stupid i don't need to defend why i'm not stupid i know and the people that know me like that's the point that i'm making is like the people that know me know i'm not stupid so like if someone were to say it like

If Joey would say, like, seriously, like, I just think you're dumb. I'd be like, what the, like, you know me. You know I'm not. You know what I mean? Yeah, I agree. I think it's tough because, like, so much of this podcast is us, like, assuming or not even assuming, confidently stating we know something and then being proven wrong. Yeah. Not me.

Lately, I've been on a roll. That was the last episode and happened twice. It's two more than the one before that. That's right, baby. Well, anything up from zero. But like it's now become like a thing. Like we do it as a joke. You know.

Which thing? Like the like these guys know nothing where it'll be like, oh, the queen and it's like who? You know, and now it's become like a whole podca, a whole podcast like subgenre of like people just not knowing like guys just not knowing things and people think that's like a bit that we do. Yeah. I mean, I definitely like know a good bit. But I definitely say things confidently that I'm not sure about. I also don't tout myself as the smartest person in the room today. Like, rank the three of us in order of intelligence.

Oh, yeah. That's really, I honestly would say we're all on equal levels here. I really would like. Media train. Say what you want about the next thing that's coming out of my mouth. I hadn't known you. And then as I've been getting to know you more, I'm like, he's a smart kid. Oh, so at first you thought I was a...

No, I just didn't know you. But, like, as I've gotten to know you, I could be like, wow, he's, he's like, you're very well spoken. You know a lot about a good amount of stuff. Like, but like, I didn't know you so I couldn't have said that. You know what I mean? Are you, are you smart? That's for other people to decide, I think.

Yeah. How are your grades growing up? Very good grades. I don't think that's the standard. No, no, no. I'm just trying to get some way. Because I know people that had great grades that are just fucking idiots. It's fair.

I think to be smart, you need to be well, like you need to be well versed in a, like, not well versed, but like able to hold conversation and stuff. And also a part of being smart is knowing when to say like, I don't know. And we, that's a part that I think.

We need to work out. That's a part we need to work out. As it left your mouth, you're like, well, that's not what we do at all. Yeah, but like, they're getting, they're not getting like the real versions of us here that's so good you know you got to be able to

be like no i i i would i think there are things that you guys are like know more about than i do as there are things that i know more about than you do and stuff like that but like i think in terms of like our capacity for intelligence i would say all of us are pretty close like i wouldn't i don't think i'm smarter or dumber than either any of you guys what am i done why did i really Now there are other people that we know that I have full on called idiots. Right, yeah. You know. That was so funny.

Oh my God, dude. That got me good. Well, you have to know when to say, I don't know. That's important. Which we don't know. No, but like intelligence is also like your like desire to also like also like also like your capacity for learning, like, and willingness to learn. Like people that are just like, I know what I know and I'm not learning anything else.

I don't care about other perspectives. I think that is a form of an idiot. A form of an idiot. Yeah, a form of stupidity. It's one of the genres. It's one of the genres. Who do you think is the smartest in the room? I don't know.

I was just doing it have to stir the pot. I was hoping you had a snap answer. I know A will give a real answer. The smart answer is no answer. Like you gave, we're all in the same. I mean, but if we're also going to be technical, we do need to look at levels of schooling. If you're saying, what are your grades? Well, let's just, let's just, let's look at the, let's let's find a way.

Let's call a chicken, a hen, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. What? Exactly. He doesn't know it. Yeah, I don't. We got it here. Don't drag me.

Do you have a degree? College, I do. He does. In what? Finance. Oh, that's right And I mined in economics Wow, that sucks

Was it fun? A lot of numbers No, it was not fun Where do you go to school? Gargolese Come on, please give it to me I can't Please, it's got to be more creative Please give it, please Where did you go?

Pace or something? Baruch in the city Oh, Baruch. You're not even gonna give me a satisfaction I can't. Gargolies? Be more obvious, dude Gargolies

You went to Baruch? Let's just try that one more time Sure. Oh, he's gone. Yeah, no, there it goes. No, it's fair. Where's you go to school? Suck on these.

Suck on my balls. University. What did you say gargle on these? Gargillies. Gargillies. Oh. Mm-hmm. So were you, you went to drag them?

Drag them? Yeah. What's drag them? Drag them across your nuts. What do you mean drag your nuts across the face? Drag. them across your nuts. Does that mean you're dragging your balls across his balls? Where do I fit into all this?

What's going on, dude? You mean drag them across your nuts? Oh my God. It's like an alien. It's like an alien that just learned how to make that joke. Yeah, right? That was like if you act like an AI to make a joke like that. Drag them across their balls and mine.

Are you crying? Oh my God. face is wet. That's your fucking stupid. In that moment, I was the dumbest person in the room. We're back. Yeah. God.

God, that was fucking funny. You mean drag them across your fucking nuts. Oh, geez. Oh, God. Dragging nuts across nuts is fucking asternacle. Yeah, that's insane. That's so fucking funny. Oh, man.

God almighty, that's my favorite part of this episode. You can cut everything else out. Well, there you have it, folks. That's our episode for this week. Frank, where can they find you in your nuts? Come on. Let's be mature. Let's be mature here.

Okay. Back to being the three smartest people in the room. The Frank Alvers all over social media. And Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Okay. We're going to find you, Aunt. You can find me on Aunt Priscoe on Instagram. Aunt Pree?

Are you unstuffed these? What's stuff these? Stuff these nuts in your fucking mouth. He's hesitant. Stubty's nuts in your nuts act. You would be the gay one with my nuts in your mouth. You guys can go follow me at Joe Sanagano. I'll go follow the show at the basement yard and that is all.

God, that's so funny. See you next time.